#and loki all alone listening to mobius and watching over him

[evan-buck]

LOKI 2x06 Glorious Purpose

[talesofesther]

what once was mine | ch 5

Loki x Reader

Series Summary: When watching what once was supposed to be the rest of his life, in an empty room in the TVA, Loki sees someone he can't recognize; a girl who's all tenderness and loose smiles, and most importantly, she was smiling at him.

A/N: Writing a lovesick Loki is my new favorite hobby.

Masterlist | Read ch 4 here

There was something about you. Still, he couldn't quite place what it was. But there was something. He's not sure if it's the way your eyes crinkle on the sides and you avoid your gaze when you smile or if it's the frown on your lips and the raised eyebrow look you usually give to him when he shows up at your desk.

Loki didn't know what it was about you, that got him in an absolute trance, and he felt the gravity around you pulling him in.

A sharp pain in the back of his head snapped him back to reality, a small grunt escaping his lips.

"I swear I'm regretting all my decisions right now," Mobius spoke from beside him, unrolling his jet ski magazine he had just smacked Loki with, "If I have to repeat everything I've just said just because you were too busy drooling over-"

"I was listening." Loki cut him off a little too urgently, finally moving his gaze away from where you had been talking with B-15 a few steps ahead of him. "And I wasn't drooling," he grumbled.

"Yeah, right," Mobius mumbled, leaning back on his chair as he followed Loki's gaze that had, unsurprisingly, returned to you. "Did you two get to talking already?"

Loki sighed, he watched as you propped yourself up on someone's desk, fiddling with the loose tie around your neck as you spoke with the hunter. "Not exactly," he frowned, "She still avoids me most of the time. She's difficult."

Mobius hummed in agreement, now mindlessly flipping through his magazine. "You're telling me."

Tapping against the arm of his chair, Loki craned his neck to look behind him where Mobius was sitting. "Are you two close?" He asked with genuine curiosity, "You seem close."

"She's a pain in my ass," Mobius threw the magazine aside and picked up a stack of documents, neatly placing them inside a folder. He briefly glanced at you, who now sat alone, swinging your feet back and forth as you watched people walk by, a small fond smile appeared on his features. "But she grows on you pretty fast," he spoke quieter, "I gotta give her that."

The ghost of a smile crept into Loki's lips too. He jumped slightly when the folder was unceremoniously dropped onto his lap.

"Now make yourself useful and take that to the library," Mobius raised an eyebrow at him, "Some of us actually have work to do."

─── ·❆· ───

Loki praised himself for being able to reach the library without getting lost. He read the date stamped on top of the file on his hands and browsed the shelves until he found said date, neatly stacking the file in between the others already there.

As he was about to walk out, he caught sight of the joyless woman who sat behind the desk in the corner; the permanent scowl still adorned her face as she typed away at her computer.

Loki took the sharp turn and came to stand before her. He waited a beat before pressing the bell atop her desk once.

The typing halted but only her eyes moved to look at him. "Yes?"

"I'm on the lookout for a few files, if you wouldn't mind assisting me." The smile on his lips was rather mischievous.

After about a minute of following the woman around the library, Loki was pleasantly surprised to be handed the file he had actually asked for.

"Happy reading," the woman mumbled, and left him be.

In between the cramped shelves, Loki turned the file in his hands, tracing his fingers under the name written on the first page. Your name.

He wondered for a moment if it would be inappropriate, an invasion of your privacy. Prying into your life as if it were a book for him to read. He tried to justify with the thought he'd only be reading the parts with him in it.

As he slowly made his way out of the halls of shelves, Loki took a brief look at the basic pieces of information on the cover of your file. Your picture at the front was… endearing—much as he wouldn't admit it out loud—you had your arms behind your back, your lips pulled into a line, and your eyes quite wide with apprehension, wearing the same TVA uniform that Loki got thrown into when he arrived. You were human and from Midgard, which already got Loki mildly confused as to why his future self would've gotten this close with a Midgardian of all people.

Loki rounded the corner of the last shelf with his eyes fixated on the file, and he nearly dropped it when something suddenly collided against him full force. Or rather, someone.

A small oof escaped your lips when you bumped face-first into him. You took a few steps back, blinking several times with a frown on your eyebrows.

Biting back a gasp of surprise, Loki quickly hid your file behind his back, mustering his most convincing innocent look.

Your eyes finally found him and you sighed quietly. "It's you."

A small, teasing grin stretched Loki's lips and he narrowed his eyes at you, "are you following me?"

You raised an unamused eyebrow at him, adjusting the lapel of your jacket and straightening your posture; "why would I follow you?"

"Because I'm terribly alluring." His voice took a slightly lower timbre, he leaned just a tad closer to you.

All you gave him was a roll of your eyes before circling past him so you could continue on your way. Loki turned with you, keeping his hands behind his back and away from your line of sight.

Much to your dismay, he fell into step with you.

"And now you're following me?" You asked, feigning uninterest as you made a point of avoiding his gaze, heading towards the elevator.

Loki hummed; "Not at all." He stayed just half a step behind you, trailing his eyes over the way your hair fell over your shoulder, just barely revealing the black earring you wore and making him wonder if it would feel as soft as it looked if he were to run his fingers through it. "We just happen to be going to the same place."

As you waited for the elevator to arrive, Loki managed to fold your file once and stash it inside the pocket of his jacket. You went in and Loki followed. The silence that lingered as the elevator slowly made its way up made Loki feel uneasy, he shifted in his stance and stole not-so-sneaky glances at you every few seconds. Has this elevator always been so slow?

"Would you like to stop for tea?" The words stumbled past Loki's lips on their own. "Or, coffee, whatever it is you drink." He felt the need to add, to feign nonchalance.

You kept quiet, but quiet was good, it wasn't a no. Loki realized, as he pretended not to be watching you, that what kept pulling him towards you wasn't curiosity anymore; at least not only curiosity. You were going to be his in the future, that much was clear, why or how he couldn't know, but his would-be future self had been lucky enough to be loved by you. And that was it, he realized. Loki never had anything to call his in his life, he never truly belonged. And when he first saw you on that screen, he just knew it had been his choice; he would have been lucky enough to find you and choose to call you his, to be yours.

Loki's breath hitched in his throat. That feeling in his chest, his heart knew where it belonged, who it belonged to; even before he did. And you were right there and Loki couldn't push away the thought that… he was yours, even if you weren't his. Not yet, and maybe not ever again.

You kept quiet. The elevator was nearing its stop when you hit the button that led to the cafeteria floor.

The place was emptier this time of day, almost peacefully so. There were only a few people here and there, sitting at the tables while enjoying a quick meal during their break.

You spared Loki a glance, "Go find us a table, yeah?"

Loki didn't object as you walked off to grab a drink. He picked a table in a far corner, away from any unwanted disturbances, and waited. This wasn't about drinking tea, not really; he didn't mind not having a drink.

You came back a few minutes later, holding two mugs; each steaming hot and with a bag of tea floating inside. You sat down in front of him and slid one of the mugs towards him.

Loki fought to keep his face impassive, to not make you uncomfortable by displaying how the gesture had touched him. He took the mug slowly, warm ceramic heating up his cold hands. When he took the first sip, his eyes briefly closed in delight, surprised that you knew exactly how he took his tea. But he shouldn't be.

When he opened his eyes again, he noticed your gaze was, for the first time today, fixed on him. Your lips were slightly parted and your hands hung loosely around your mug on the table. It was almost as if you were gauging his reaction, hanging onto every twitch of his muscles. To prove a fact or dismantle a lie.

"It's… lovely, thank you," Loki spoke softly.

You gulped at his words, then cleared your throat and took a generous sip of your own tea, that most likely burned its way down your throat given the way your eyes watered. "Yeah, sure."

Loki softly tapped his mug as it rested on the table, he glanced up at you, his eyes betraying him with the softness he tried to hide. "You know, I'm truly quite impressed."

He captured your attention, and you turned to him with slightly raised eyebrows.

"I wasn't expecting them to have such good tea around," Loki raised his mug to prove his point, "for a place that, literally, has access to all of time, their food options are rather limited." He complained with an indignant frown.

There was a smirk fighting its way into your lips that you gently ducked your head to hide. "I have to agree, sometimes I just wanna slip into the timeline to grab a milkshake or a smoothie."

Loki struggled to keep his voice working when he saw the hints of a smile on your face, but that's also the reason why he kept talking. "Right? And then there's the neverending paperwork. I mean, honestly, for a place like this they sure are so old-timey, aren't they?"

You laughed. Genuinely laughed, and Loki delighted in it. He wanted to bottle up the sound and keep it with him forever. His lips hovered in a dazed smile of his own, and he simply looked at you—all doe eyes and pink cheeks—engraving the image in his mind with the pride that he was the one who made you happy, if even for a second.

Shaking your head, you avoided his eyes. Biting your lower lip before you said; "Oh yes, that's one of my biggest critiques yet."

A quiet chuckle escaped Loki's lips, and he made it his mission to keep the conversation going for as long as you'd have him.

When you drank the last sip of your tea, which was most likely already cold given the time that had passed since you first got it, you looked at Loki with the ghosts of that smile still lingering—a little crooked and still a little hesitant, but beautiful to his eyes nonetheless.

"I have to go," you said, voice quieter, as if you spoke louder it would break the moment. Your eyes glimmered under the artificial lights, for a beat it looked like you wanted to say more but you bit it back. "But thank you for the company."

Loki nodded softly, "It was my pleasure." He hoped you could see it in his eyes that he meant it.

Loki watched you leave. He watched as you walked into the elevator and held his gaze from afar until the doors closed. The feeling hit him hard and square in the chest, making him close his eyes and exhale a shaky breath—he was falling for you, and it killed him to think that he might be falling alone.

He took the file still hidden in his jacket pocket, unfolding it only to see the picture of you staring back at him. He looked at it for a long time, yet never opened it. He wanted to do right by you. If he were to know you, know the story you would've had together, it would be because you choose to let him.

Later that day, Loki stopped by the library again. He took a single last glance at the cover of your file before stashing it back on the shelf.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read ch 6 here

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3

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[atomicradiogirl]

welcome to my TED talk about the beauty of the loki soundtrack and how natalie holt is proving the theory that it’s all about mobius and loki (lokius):

obviously let’s start with the piece ‘lokius’ which we know my thoughts on but this sets up the overall theme of this discussion. in a general summary of my previous TED talk, i claimed that lokius is all about mobius since the piece is mainly composed of his musical theme and the fact that he was literally jealous and discrediting sylvie and loki in that scene. it was all about him in that moment. but they could have easily left this theme as is.

however, natalie holt goes on to repurpose and interpolate the ‘lokius’ musical theme throughout the season 2 soundtrack especially in the show’s finale which is the culmination of loki’s arc. loki and mobius’ relationship grew over season 2 to the point where the last person who ever saw and truly saw loki was mobius.

in the score ‘complex and many’ in loki and mobius’ final goodbye scene, it’s a variation of ‘lokius’ that plays, not anything else. no other score of this magnitude plays when he says goodbye to anyone else, not even sylvie. this is the pivotal emotional climax because loki and mobius’ relationship is the core and heart of the show and to his character. loki would not have been able to sacrifice himself nor have the compassion to do it without mobius. loki gave mobius the choice to live and find his glorious purpose but the show ends with mobius waiting, letting time pass, because he’s alone now just like loki. so he’ll wait for loki to return.

this brings me to the score ‘purpose is glorious’ the final montage sequence in the loki finale. it’s such a beautiful score and it plays over everyone finding their purpose except for mobius who the score cuts out right as we see him stand in front of his sacred timeline home watching his true self play with his children. everyone finds purpose except for mobius. but the piece takes from ‘lokius.’ everyone found purpose because of mobius and his love and care for loki, except for mobius. which is the tragic irony.

finally we talk about the final score in the show, ‘history is now’ which takes elements from ‘loki’s green theme��� and ‘lokius.’ don’t believe me? the underlying violins in the ‘history is now’ is like ripped right from the violins in ‘lokius.’ and ‘history is now’ is the final time we see loki and mobius. mobius letting time pass, loki accepting his glorious purpose.

so in conclusion, it’s always been about mobius and for mobius. it’s always been lokius’ story. even since season one. and the loki soundtrack ITSELF proves this. don’t believe me? just listen.

[sparrow-the-tired-lesbian]

Wine and Wheat as it pertains to Mobius

So, we love Mobius. I was listening to Wine and Wheat by Madds Buckley. It hit me pretty hard.

These lyrics fit Mobius so well! I’m going to be doing a little analysis (keeping it fun tho!)

LOKIUS CONTENT AHEAD

All I know is marble and stone, eyes that don't leave, watching over me

Those statues of the Time-Keepers and statues of Kang act the same way for the TVA agents as paintings or statues of Jesus and Mary do for religious people: they act as a reminder. “They’re watching you. They know everything.” Coming from a Christian, this can take a toll on you mentally. Your thoughts and actions are being judged by someone you cannot see.

All I know: I'm wholly alone, with filth-ridden fever dreams. 

Having these reminders of being watched keeps a person on their toes, knowing that their thoughts are monitored by whatever deity they have. Mobius likely has thoughts that he is ashamed of, like we all do. Especially about Loki. Loving a Variant seems like the biggest sin to him.

Oh, she sings prayers without words, yet she worships me

I imagine this referring to Loki. Halfway through season 1, Loki seems incredibly warm with Mobius, almost seeing him on a pedestal. Especially with the hug in episode 5!

All I know is paper-thin scripture holding the weight of my soul

These stories about the Time-Keepers held the weight of Mobius’s whole world. When they ended up being fake and untrue, it shattered his reality.

The pages are worn, and the lesson is torn, and my heart is his to burn or keep

The TVA seems like the kind to threaten that if their agents do something they don’t like, they’ll prune them. 

Dona nobis pacem, Miserere nobis, God have mercy on them. God have mercy on me

“For All Time, Always” seems like the TVA’s “Dona Nobis Pachem” to me. 

Hold my tongue in your teeth, oh sinner. Penitence on my knees, oh deliver me

In a Lokius context, this feels like Mobius asking Loki to keep his mind off the pain of knowing that the Time-Keepers aren’t real. A plea to keep him in a better place than the place his mind remains in.

What am I to believe when the Wine and the Wheat stain me this sinner's red, I bleed

Upon realizing that what he’s been doing to Variants, Mobius must feel guilty as hell about it, knowing that he’s “stained himself red” by doing these things to these people.

Give me strength in the sea, oh sinner. Be the light that I see when the light has left me. When you hold me I feel holy, when you kiss me I bleed

Loving Loki must feel like a sin for someone like Mobius. Loving him has to feel like he’s doing something wrong, even after he realizes that the Time-Keepers aren’t real.

Please add more if you want!

[mischiefandmedicine]

Very Full - Chapter 1: Confrontation at the End of Time

Summary: At the end of time, Loki, guardian of the multiverse, is confronted by Saoirse, his daughter, who seeks answers and retribution for her mother's absence. Their tense encounter reveals a deep well of shared pain and unspoken history, hinting at sacrifices made for greater purposes. Overwhelmed by the truth, Saoirse's anger gives way to a vulnerable quest for understanding as Loki prepares to unveil their story.

Word Count: 2,372 words.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, a hint of someone having died.

A/N: Bear with me as I get used to how I want to lay everything out. This is my first fan-fiction and I loved this story idea. I have a Spotify playlist that acts like a soundtrack for this entire story. For each posted chapter, I'll share a link to songs that I listened to and/or were referenced in each chapter. Enjoy!

Soundtrack Link

This Chapter's Inspirational Music: Can't Fight the Moonlight

---

Previous: Prologue

___

Chapter 1 - Confrontation at the End of Time

In the vast expanse at the end of time, where timelines converged, and infinite possibilities shimmered like echoes of forgotten moments, Loki sat upon a grand throne of his own making. The luminous emerald-colored threads of the multiverse danced around him, woven together in a breathtaking display reminiscent of Yggdrasil, the world tree, all with Loki as the powerful epicenter. His gaze, usually calm and all-seeing, rested upon the glowing strands that danced around him.

            The weight of his existence bore heavily into him. Loki was not the ruler of a once-proud Asgard floating among the stars. He was not the ruler of the nine realms. He had not replaced Odin as king. He was no longer the god of mischief. He was something else and now he sat on his gilded throne, countless timelines in his grasp. They all breathed because of him…because of his sacrifice.

            A subtle longing tugged at the edge of his consciousness, a wistful yearning for connections that once illuminated the recesses of his solitary existence. Memories of love, both found and lost, dance like wisps in the cosmic winds, leaving a lingering ache in the depths of his being. Thoughts of Sylvie, Mobius, and other intriguing friends he had left behind, hovered over him like distant constellations across the sky at the end of time – remnants of bonds forged amidst the tumultuous symphony of his life. Their faces were etched in the mosaic of his recollections, evoking a bittersweet blend of camaraderie and longing.

This was his burden to bear and his alone. For all time.

Loki had carried the weight of his loneliness letting the time pass ensuring the timelines were stable just long enough to give the Time Variance Authority time to achieve what it needed to. But there was no expiration date on these duties. He would remain, lost amongst the emerald-glowing strands, for as long as the multiverse needed him.

            As he contemplated the harmonious chaos before him, a sudden disruption jolted the tranquility. In the distance, Loki could make out a figure, cloaked in shadow and mystery, appearing at the gangway leading to his throne. The hooded silhouette emerged, standing resolute, yet shrouded in obscurity. A voice, tinged with a mix of determination and haunting familiarity, echoed across the boundless emptiness.

            “I am Saoirse of Midgard,” the figure proclaimed, their voice carrying an all-too-familiar power and rage, “and I am here to avenge my mother…and myself.” These words held a cadence that mirrored Loki’s own epithets as he had arrived on Earth to claim the Tesseract. This unexpected arrival, however, resonated with its own sense of purpose and determination.

            The former god of mischief, with his piercing gaze that twisted with intrigue and an inkling of recognition, looked upon the cloaked figure stoically. He did not speak but watched the figure through narrowed eyes as its form remained obscured by the depths of its cloak. For a moment, the silence between them seemed to echo across the infinite expanse that was the end of time.

            Loki, ever the master of words and wit, parted his lips to respond, but the charged atmosphere lingered, pregnant with the reticent turmoil of their intertwined destinies. The impassioned plea reverberated in his ears, a fervent cry seeking recognition from the god perched on the throne.

            In the cavernous expanse where time’s echoes converged, Saoirse’s impatience and rage swirled like tempestuous winds in the silence. The lack of response from Loki ignited a fierce blaze within her, stoking the flames of indignation and uncertainty. Her resolve wavered not; instead, it solidified into an unyielding determination as she flung off her cloak, long black wavy hair draped around her shoulders, held out of her face by a single, solid gold headband.

            “Say something, asshole!” Her voice was laden with raw fury and pain as it boomed across the celestial chasm, punctuating the vast emptiness with a desperate plea. The powers she wielded came with the vocal projection, a manifestation of the strength it took to find Loki and bring herself here to the end of time. Loki himself remained quiet, his gaze unwavering, veiled behind a mask of inscrutable calm, yet he scrunched his nose playfully at the sound of the insult thrown at him.

            In a moment that shattered the stillness and infinite space between them, a manifestation hurtled through the expanse. Down on the gangway where Saoirse stood, a projection materialized – a mirrored image of Loki – crafted from the essence of his cosmic presence. This apparition mirrored his countenance and mannerisms, a visage brought forth from the depths of his consciousness to address Saoirse’s impassioned call.

            Though Loki, in his corporeal form, remained perched on his sparkling throne, he maintained an air of whimsical defiance, an enigmatic smile splayed across his lips. His silence, a calculated choice, teased at the depths of his cosmic power and the intrigue that coursed through his perplexing persona.

            “Asshole? Really, Saoirse?” the projected image of Loki intoned, his voice a melodic blend of playfulness and veiled confrontation. “Impatience does not suit you…daughter.”

            Saoirse’s furious gaze met the illusionary Loki’s, her eyes widening in a cocktail of shock, disbelief, and a glimmer of recognition. The word “daughter” hung heavily in the air as the various glowing emerald strands of timelines floated past the pair.

            “Don’t you dare call me that!” she shouted past the projection towards the corporeal Loki seated on the throne.

            The Loki projection maintained a serene yet arrogant countenance about him amidst the brewing storm. “You seek me out, yet deny what you might be,” he teased, the gleam in his eyes hinting at a cryptic knowledge.

            Frustration etched deeply into Saoirse’s features as she seethed with unresolved emotions. She stood nearly as tall as her father, so she could stare his projection down, eye to eye, reflecting the pain that tore into her as she searched for some semblance of regret in his eyes. “I came here for answers, not games!” she shouted angrily, voice quivering with a potent mix of longing and resentment.

            “Answers?” the projection raised an eyebrow, cocking his head to one side before continuing. “But do you truly desire them, or are you merely seeking a mirror to reflect your anger?”

            Her patience waning, Saoirse’s anger surged forth, fueled by years of the void that her mother’s absence had created. “I want to know why you left her! Why you abandoned us?!” Her voice cracked with the anguished accusation, the tremor betraying the depth of her emotional turmoil.

            The projection of Loki regarded her with an eerie calm. “Blaming me won’t bring her back,” he countered, his voice nearly at a whisper.

            “Your actions, rather, the lack thereof…they led to her death!” Saoirse fought back tears as she fought through the words she had come all this way to say. “In all your infinite power, how could you just let her die like that?!”

            Loki remained speechless, unable to find the words to quiet his daughter as she stood before him, long black hair flowing down her back, framing her face. She was, no doubt, his daughter. The anguish and pent-up rage that surged from within were caused by a father who had seemingly all but cast her aside. As he studied Saoirse’s face, Loki could not help but think that she bore a striking resemblance to her mother; the thought of whom pulled the playful smirk from his face, softening his gaze.

He thought of the movie reel Mobius had shown him of what would become of his own life had he continued along the sacred timeline. All the lives he had destroyed and the Loki he had been when trying to take New York as his own. He did not want that life for his daughter but could not possibly tell her of all he had sacrificed for the sake of the greatness that she could become. He had changed from the angry tyrant demanding his subjects kneel before him. He was something else now that he had taken on the responsibility of keeping the timelines alive.

Saoirse’s anger broke Loki from his thoughts as she materialized a pair of long, thin bronzed blades in her hands in a flash of purple light. “Give me answers, Loki, or I will take them by force!”

As she wielded her blades, her eyes flashing with determination, the tension between them escalated once again. Her blades crackled with energy, eyes reflecting a storm of emotions surging within her. The projection of Loki observed her with a blend of intrigue and caution, a veil of godly poise masking the concealed complexity of his intentions as a smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth. Pride surged within Loki, a silent acknowledgment of his daughter’s innate strength and proficiency in the mystical arts. But with that sense of pride came a father’s pained recognition of her anguish.

“Saoirse,” Loki began, his voice soft and arms outstretched as if attempting to calm a lion ready to pounce upon its prey. He sought to bridge the chasm between them. “I understand your anger, your pain. But there are truths that remain buried within the complexities of duty and sacrifice.”

“You had a duty to her! To me!” She yelled. “What about that?”

Loki paused, gathering his thoughts amidst the tumult of emotions. His posture sank as he thought of the words that would calm the daughter standing before him ready to take his head off with the gorgeous blades she had conjured for herself. That is, if it were his corporeal self standing before her.

            “You wield your powers with the grace and strength of Asgardian lineage, your grandparents would be so proud,” Loki intoned. Sensing that Saoirse was rightfully losing the limited patience that she had brought with her to the end of time, he continued, “Your mother lives within you.”

            “Oh, yawn!” she said, rolling her eyes. “Next, you’re going to tell me that I remind you of her and that I should be satisfied with that. None of that changes that she’s gone and it’s all your fault!”

            “Daughter,” Loki’s voice held a gentle plea, tinged with regret and a profound longing to ease her pain. “Your mother’s absence is a wound that cuts deeply, a void that cannot be easily filled.”

            He paused, the weight of her accusation heavy upon him. “I cannot erase the pain of your loss, nor absolve myself of the burden that my duties thrust upon us.”

            Saoirse’s face pinched into a scowl upon hearing Loki’s words. His expression softened, a paternal yearning beneath a mask of composure. He was, after all, a god with a purpose. “I do not expect you to find solace in vague resemblances or platitudes. Your anguish is valid and your anger justified.”

            Loki’s projection, an echo of his essence, bore the weight of remorse as it showed on his face. “I sought to protect what remains of our fractured existence, sacrificing what I held dear. But it was not a choice I made lightly, nor one I made without sorrow.”

            A quiet desperation colored his voice, looking at Saoirse with a depth of sorrow mirrored in his eyes. “Know that you are not alone in your pain. I may not have all the answers, but I am here, Saoirse.”

            With the sound of her name falling from Loki’s lips, Saoirse collapsed to the ground, tears streaming down her face as the blades she once wielded clanged to the gangway floor. The Loki apparition knelt to look his daughter in the eyes, tears forming in his own eyes as he watched her sob. “Tell me, daughter, what do you know of your mother and me?”

            Saoirse took a moment to gather her words before snarling back at Loki, “All I know that she loved you more than anything but neither she nor I were enough for you to stick around.”

            Loki’s face fell. “She didn’t tell you anything about us?”

            “She didn’t have to, Loki. I learned enough from everyone else around me. Loki of Asgard who was burdened with glorious purpose. Loki who rained chaos upon New York. Loki who disappeared with the Tesseract! Am I getting every detail?!” she inched closer to his projection, fire and rage growing within as she continued. “Loki who reappeared years later to con my mother into sleeping with him only for him to disappear when she needed him the most. What good is all this power if you could not use it to save or even be with the one woman who was supposed to be everything to you?”

            Each and every one of Saoirse’s words stung Loki as she shouted them into the endless void. The Loki projection spun on his heels as if to look up at the corporeal Loki who sat upon the throne, infinite timelines in hand, disappearing with a neon green glow. God Loki looked down upon his daughter, tears forming in his eyes. He longed to comfort his daughter, his flesh and blood.

            In a flash of lightning, god Loki used nearly every ounce of magic within him to wrap himself in a tapestry woven together with the strands of time, carrying himself down to the gangway in labored steps until he reached his daughter. Loki, god of the throne at the end of time, keeper of the timelines took Saoirse’s hand, gesturing for her to stand. As she rose, Loki whispered with a single tear falling, “My dear daughter, you don’t know anything.”

            “What don’t I know, Loki?” Saoirse sneered through gritted teeth.

            Loki removed his crown and gestured to a pair of velvet green armchairs he had conjured behind her. “This is going to be a long one. Shall I pour us some tea?”

            “Keep it, I need something stronger than tea,”Saoirse scoffed at the offer.

Saoirse turned to take a seat as Loki wordlessly gestured towards the chairs once more. “Oh, this ought to be good.”

            “I do hear they call me the god of stories on some of the timelines,” Loki said with a smirk to lighten the mood. “This story – the story of your mother and me – it is the best one of all.”

[myfanfictiongarden]

To be bound in the eternity of time….- Loki (series)

He is siting there, in silence. Everything is silence. Everything is, yet nothing is at all. Nothing moves, nothing changes, yet everything breaths, everything beats, everything lives. It is dark, utterly dark, except where the green energy surges in a blinding light, sometimes clear, sometimes mudded. There is this vast emptiness that has no end, the suffocating abundance of branches that overcrowd the place that is, but still isn’t there. Countless, infinitive lives exist somewhere, yet he is alone here surrounded by all of them. His hands are clutching on the branches,  the veins of life, holding together reality in an eternal lasting grip, chaos incarnate keeping chaos at bay. There is no room for movement, there is no strength for it, and soon his body may even forget how it was to walk in circles or stretch its arms to the skies. This throne is his everlasting seat, put together from pieces broken just like the crown he wears heavy weighting on his head. His realm is everywhere, yet nowhere at all. 

Most of all, its lonely.

The first time she appears he thinks its some kind of dream, a false illusion, conjured up by his mind out of wishful thinking. It would have been easy to loose the grip on reality when one is surrounded by countless of them. Yet she is there, but not fully there, not physically at least, appearing through her enchantments making.

“Well, hi! So… just wanted to say we are all doing fine. Yeah, thats it…” is all she says the first time before disappearing in green mist again. It is all so short, so very short, but it fils him with new strength and he holds on. She would appear again, and again, without any clear pattern, yet always when the weight seemed too heavy to bear, always lifting some of it with chatter that may have looked idle but meant the world. He never replies, he never speaks. Bound and shackeled by eternity he is unable to make any response, to make any words leave his lips. Only with his eyes he tries to bring across what her fleeting visits mean to him, that he does hear and see her, that he does find reposte in her presence. 

“Me again. Guys at the TVA are still fine, Mobius took a little break. I'm still working at that fast-food restaurant, saving up for a little road trip, wanna see the country, you know… experience it the human way. Earth is quite cool.” 

She tells him about the places she sees, the music she listens to, the food she enjoys, the people she meets. He knows all that already, he sees everything, hears everything, yet its different when it comes from her mouth, a bigger comfort.

It becomes a routine, a routine of unpredictable moments in which she may appear to him who is always looking and holding into all that was, is and will be. Always watching, never interfering. She will chat, she will talk, sometimes she will look him in the eyes, her own reflecting centuries of existence but in those moments she will not speak. Only once she does.

“I miss you. I- I should have walked out of that blasted door with you, I actually went to open it, but then… I was just frozen. I was scared, okay?” Comes out of her mouth like a storm that had been raging and had been contained for far too long, the words hasty and quickly over her lips, lest something might hold them back again. Suddenly, she does something she hadn’t done until now, her feet slowly moving her forwards, bringing her up the stairs, closer to him. He still doesn’t move, but she is so close now, leaning down to his face, that he can see her eyes clear and deep and full of tears she fights not to shed. They may have stayed like this a whole eternity, time bearing no meaning in this place removed into infinity, their eyes locked into a gaze of reflection and realisation, a mirror of separate pieces forming one. An eternity is everything here, an eternity is everything he feels as her lips find his. Its a touch gentle yet strong, filled with every contradiction she is, they both are, the union of chaos that brightens life into existence. 

“You are not alone. You never will be” stays like a whisper in the air as her form dissolves, he still unmoving, his soul though soaring, his heart stronger beating.

And so, he stays there, at the end of time, where everything is silence, where there is nothing, yet everything is.

[lettingtimepass]

INITIAL LOKI SEASON 2 FINALE THOUGHTS

okay........... FIRST OF ALL......... DISNEY YOU QUEER-BATING FIENDS, WHY DID YOU CALL THE EPISODE "GLORIOUS PURPOSE" WITH THE THUMBNAIL AS A PHOTO OF MOBIUS???? WHAT WAS THE REASON?????

*Exhales deeply*

Anyway..............

Things I liked:

LOKI IN GREEN AND HORNS AGAIN!!!! SO BADASS!!! And the horns were made of the same material as the Ciditel!! so damn cool!!!

LOKI MADE THE WORLD TREE ����😭😭😭😭

Showing the new and improved TVA at the end with the World Tree!!!!

Loki was ultimately able to give Mobius what he wanted. The chance to choose. I'm just devastated they didn't get to choose to be together.

The end showing that Loki is keeping an eye on Mobius.

Unhindged Mobius grabbing Loki and saying "what the shit are you doing??" or something to that effect 😂

Loki's convo with Mobius in the Time Theater. The reveal that Mobius was a hunter and Renslayer was his partner.

Things I didn't like:

I’m sorry but why did Loki not kill Sylvie 😭 There's no way you fight in a time loop with someone for god knows how long and don't get frustrated enough to just say fuck it hahahah

Obviously... that Loki and Mobius didn't have a real moment together. I mean, a handshake?! The two are clearly in love and we get a handshake???

That Loki didn't show up with Mobius at the very end. I was holding my breath. I mean I still liked that it showed he was listening, but STILL, I wanted Loki to join him and they could stand there together 🥺 That would at least leave it more open-ended.

IDK HOW TO FEEL:

"I know what I kind of God I want to be for you." AND HE LOOKS AT BOTH MOBIUS AND SLYVIE. I HATE YOU MARVEL YOU DIRTY ASS BITCH. I'll get over this but at the moment I'm mad hahah.

Loki, who never wanted the throne, who just wanted to be seen as an equal (which he got at the TVA), finally getting his golden throne. All his friends are safe, but now he's alone 😭😭😭 "I don't want to be alone." WHY did Loki have to make the sacrifice and Sylvie gets a life?? Mehhhh. At least this does indeed open it for Loki to come back in upcoming movies. And imagine Thor meeting THIS Loki 😳 Now THAT could actually be interesting. Because Thor would be able to see right away this Loki is not HIS Loki.

Anyway, I'll watch again at some point this weekend and make some more notes. But.... yeahhhh. That indeed was a show 🫡

[multifandom-nerds-blog]

Loki S2 ep6 (and some mention about SI and the Marvels inbetween which you can skip)

Can't believe how Loki, a show whichs first season was very.... something I guess, ended in such an amazing way.

And I'm not talking about how I freaking loved the music (I freaking loved it). I'm talking about how Loki spent centuries trying to solve the timeline problem. Over and over, trying to save his friends and failing, until he succeeds. But the only way to do so is to claim a throne, which he didn't want, and sit on it alone forever. The character development just👌.

Because let's be honest. Marvel is at a point where everything could crash now or then. Gotg 3 was amazing but Secret Invasion? Not so much. It was very weak. Alone from the stupid AI intro, I never skip openings, but I skipped this one every single time. But also how messy the writing was to the limit of one 6 episode season. I could not properly process what the f was going on with who in that show. (No not She-Hulk, cause she Hulk was exactly what it was promised to be, which is a comedy show about lawyers, so it didn't dissapoint me at all. The show worked for me, cause I actually watched it as a comedy which it is.) Also didn't watch The Marvels yet, but although I usually don't listen to the mob of a general opinion in the Marvel fandom without actually watching something (form your own opinions people) I'm not overly excited for it either. Mainly cause of Captain Marvel, who I don't like in any marvel universe really. But in the mcu just ughhh.

Back to Loki however. My eyes were absolutely glued to the screen for the whole episode. The way in which Loki walked the up to the throne with the timelines in his hands and as his cloak. How he accepted that oh so lonely throne. How that was the only acceptable way for him. How Mobius left to actually see what it was that they, what Loki, is protecting with all that. How it ended with Loki alone on his throne, but smiling from what Mobius said, who is standing all alone there watching his own life essentially.

Goddamn. This is not a good year of season finales for us queers. Why are we being mentally destroyed over and over again. This is horrible 😭

[xtinyslip]

lcvenderhcze​:

“OR WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?” hope crossed her arms over her chest as she questioned him, because.. yes, right now - she would like to see him try to move even a single muscle against her. she would make sure that he paid for it and right now, he was seeing fucking red because the other would deserve it. he would. “aw. and so you went and took the easy way out, huh? maybe i should do the same when it comes to you. maybe i should kill you here and now and just be done with it, but… no, i don’t think that i will. watching you suffer is going to be more fun.” she scoffed. “do you really believe that? that anyone involved in this is anything close to innocent? guess what, mobius. they are not. there are no innocents here and never have been. AND IF YOU FEEL TEMPTED TO CRY A LITTLE OVER YOUR DEAD friend? remember whose dagger it was that was used to kill them. it might make you reconsider your decision.” oh, she was very serious. this wasn’t going to be traced back to her - but.. it didn’t mean that it couldn’t be traced back to someone else. someone who would have plenty of reason to do it. oh, this was perfect. “WITH PARENTS LIKE THOSE? oh, man. he was going to end up fucked up one way or another. at least, now.. well, he has a chance of growing up to be something decent. or maybe not. i don’t particularly give a shit otherwise.” the brat was nothing to her, especially if he was being taken in by that stark bitch. now, he didn’t particularly care. “no, that’s right. i’m not. if i go down? you can be sure as hell your boyfriend comes down with me. that’s a promise. i have the murder weapon with me, after all.” which he did. of course that he did. “no, sweetie. you don’t have an idea of who you’re messing with. don’t test me or the police might just get a tip about who to look into. the jealous ex-boyfriend, who couldn’t stand that she had found someone else. you were seen arguing with kang in public multiple times, no? not to mention the footage that i have of you murdering my boyfriend. so, go on. test me and see what happens.”

@xtinyslip

“seriously what is wrong with you? you figure the only way to beat kang is to become an even bigger asshole than him? good for you. not interested.” mobius didn’t have an answer because he didn’t know what he was going to do. he didn’t know what he could even do but it felt like any sense of control was slipping through his fingers and he didn’t like that. “no. i took the only way out that i had and you want to mock me for it? fine. i can’t go back and change the decision i made at the time!” did he regret ever having to hurt scott? some innocent guy who didn’t seem to have done anything? yeah, course he did but that’s how it had to be. “kang took enough from you and trust me i know what that’s like, enough to know that you shouldn’t let him take anything else. come on? this isn’t you.” it wasn’t, right? they had all seemed like good people and it made him sick to think kang was going to have a lasting affect here. it made him being gone pointless if he could still have power like this here. “innocent... maybe that was a strong word but did she deserve to die? i --” he didn’t know anymore. sure, she had pruned him with every intention of never seeing him again but... he knew kang had a hold over her to. maybe if he’d listened, maybe if he’d done something he could have gotten her out too. mobius dipped his head, nodding sadly at her words because he knew she was right. he knew that this grief that he didn’t even know if he should be feeling. well, he was going to have to experience it alone because no one else would understand and he didn’t want loki questioning his feelings again. “where is he now? the kid?” hopefully not staying with this bitch, that was for sure. “i’m not going to point this shit back at you. you... you made sure of that.” it had been a smart move because knowing loki could be caught up in this if he ever did? well, it sure put a stop to any thoughts he’d been having. mobius brought his hands to his face for a moment because he didn’t need her to tell him how bad it looked if the police were to get a tip like that about him. he and kang had a number of verbal and physical fights in public and she was right. even if that’s not what ravonna was to him -- if she tipped that angle then who would believe him? “so what? you want me to stay out of your way? consider it done.” @lcvenderhcze

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Okayyyy now that I've slept on that episode I am ready to do some good old traumamongering so let's look at how Loki's responses to his environment and those around him are informed by his trauma--and how Mobius/the TVA are using his trauma to manipulate him.

One of the ways Loki deals with unpleasant or stressful situations is to verbally maneuver or posture, to try to assert control (if he feels he can reasonably do so). We see him do this with Tony in Avengers, who during their confrontation--at least for the moment--poses no active threat; instead of attacking him, Loki talks. In Thor, Loki tries several times to defuse situations with his words, which generally goes poorly for him. But when it comes to handling stress, it's essentially all he knows how to do--Mobius is absolutely right to point out that Loki "loves to talk," but usually his silver tongue is borne out of necessity.

In this case, starting from the moment of his escape, we see a lot of talking from Loki that is not strictly necessary. When he lands in Mongolia, the very first thing he does is make a speech to the bystanders--literally and figuratively trying to get his bearings. He's not aggressive at all (which would confuse the Avengers were they to see him, but wow, it's almost like Thanos/the Mind Stone was influencing him!) and seems quite at a loss as to what to do when the people he's addressing don't understand him. When the TVA agents try to arrest him, he tries to ask them what's going on, and gives plenty of warning (and posturing!) before attempting to physically assert himself. In the TVA itself, this continues. Loki complains, tries to intimidate, questions, and even talks to machines with no other real witnesses (twice). He's pulling out all the stops, so to speak, to try to verbally establish control of his situation. He's trying to get his bearings, to assert his autonomy and individuality--but no one is listening to him.

When that doesn't work, and only when a lot of that doesn't work, does Loki attempt physical control of his environment. He first tries his magic (something familiar to him) and is shocked when that also doesn't work. The TVA is already a foreign environment, but because none of Loki's usual and comfortable methods of surviving are working, it becomes more foreign, and more stressful. That's why he escalates to actively resisting the guards (but note he doesn't try too hard once someone (Mobius) starts talking). Physical resistance has never been Loki's forte, so he plays to his strengths while he can, but when that fails and he gets more desperate, he has to get creative.

But when Loki is stressed enough that he starts to physically fight back, the illusion of confidence starts to break down. We see this continue really clearly in the interrogation room scene. The subject matter actively makes Loki uncomfortable. His attempts to deflect or lie aren't effective, and his words once again fail to control his situation or even shield him from what he'd like to avoid. Unable to escape the direct questions, Loki again becomes physically restless and uncomfortable, standing and pacing while growing more obviously agitated. The questions Mobius is asking are ones Loki does not want to think about, and that's because they ultimately hit on his most vulnerable points.

The question of "What would you do if you could go back?" while seeming rather innocuous, is really a well-disguised gateway to all of Loki's trauma and insecurity. Why does he feel he should rule Midgard? Well, Loki attempts to respond, that's what he deserves, it's what he was born for--but it wasn't, really, and he knows it. Firstly, when it comes to his royal birthright, Loki has always fallen back on that as a grounding mechanism. It's what he asserts to claim his identity and feel powerful and in control. He does this with being a god, too, and we see him do this several times just within the TVA. But ultimately, it's just words--the real power is with those who can make what they want to happen actually happen, and in Loki's life, that has never been him. (Even talking about his birthright, and the concept of ruling, brings up the traumatic events of Thor 1; and the fact that he was looking to rule Midgard, not Asgard, means that he would still be playing second-fiddle to Thor. Midgard wasn't his birthright--Asgardians never ruled directly on Earth. It was just the best he could get.) And secondly, Loki's attack of Earth was directly caused and influenced by Thanos. That is the main source of trauma that Loki is desperately trying to avoid, and the questions he's being asked don't allow him to do so. He can't weasel out of it; Mobius is too persistent, and he knows all the worst buttons to push. In fact, he's systematically targeting Loki's weaknesses.

Look at the questions and statements he uses: "For someone born to rule, you sure lose an awful lot." Your birthright is false and you know it. "You weren't born to be a king. You were born to help others become the best versions of themselves." He juxtaposes this with footage of the Avengers, Thor among them: your identity only matters so far as you can enable others, especially your brother. Loki starts avoiding looking at the footage, becoming less brazen with his attitude and responses, so Mobius asks, "What is it that you're running from?" It's at about this point that Loki stands up, trying to physically distance himself from both Mobius and the question. This interaction reveals much about what Mobius is intending by this conversation. He's not trying to learn about Loki, necessarily. He already knows Loki is running from something, and seems to know what it is, which wouldn't be immediately clear to someone uninformed. What he's really trying to do is make Loki vulnerable, and make him admit it.

Mobius uses Loki's role in his mother's death to push him over the edge. Immediately, Loki turns on Mobius, furiously insisting that the whole thing is an illusion--more desperate verbal posturing, and Mobius treats it as such--and then Loki snaps, first throwing a chair at the painful image of his mother, which promptly reforms (it's inescapable), and then trying to attack Mobius. The fact that Loki is lashing out physically means he is desperate, but even his last resort isn't effective. He simply can't protect himself. He's powerless. That's triggering in and of itself.

But it's the footage that's the final blow. After escaping his restraints, he returns to the very room he left, and looks at his life. And he cries. He's so vulnerable and hurting and scared that in his first moment alone, he cries. And just as he thought he'd have a little bit of comfort, even laughing to see his improving relationship with Thor, he watches himself die a humiliating, pitiful, ignoble death, and hears himself say, "You will never be a god"--and that old boast means nothing because Thanos snaps his neck anyway. That moment, seeing the thing he was running from catch up to him and kill him, is his final emotional breaking point. When Loki laughs and bitterly says, "Glorious purpose," that's the end of the posturing. He's admitting Mobius was right: he didn't have a glorious purpose, or a glorious anything. Which is why when Mobius comes back, Loki tells the truth, unprompted. He actually calls himself weak. He admits he's been putting up an illusion in a feeble attempt to get control of his situation.

This level of vulnerability from Loki is unheard of, and speaks to how utterly he's been worn down by the very intentional psychological manipulation of Mobius and the TVA. When Loki entered, he was actively opposing them. Now, after having been massively triggered and emotionally exhausted, he's suggestible, and by playing a friendly angle, Mobius can manipulate Loki into working with them--and, literally, against himself.

Whether he has good intentions or no, that makes Mobius a truly formidable player, and one Loki--and we--shouldn't be too hastily comfortable with. He is clearly a master manipulator, and has no qualms using Loki's trauma to break him.

But what should be most concerning of all is that he succeeds. Because the only other person to have ever done that?

Is Thanos.

[ailendolin]

Of Lokis and Loneliness

I'd like to take a moment to talk about the recurring theme of loneliness in the Loki series (yes, this will be about The Hug).

Loki's journey so far has been about finding himself. Over the course of the series all his delusions of grandeur get stripped away from him, and both Mobius and Sylvie play a huge part in that. As I've mentioned in my meta post for episode 4, I think Loki and Sylvie's Nexus Event was not about romantic love but about self-acceptance - about seeing yourself through someone else's eyes and realizing that you're not as awful as you think you are and deserve love just as much as everyone else.

Sylvie is the key to this realization, but Mobius is the embodiment of it. He's the one who told Loki that he doesn't see him as a villain. He's the one who listened to what Loki had to say, who stuck his neck out for him and believed in him. He became Loki's friend.

Or, as Sylvie puts it: he cares about Loki.

Loki's reaction to Sylvie's observation here is very interesting. He doesn't deny it. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all and then awkwardly changes the subject - because this is new to him. He told Sylvie as much in episode 4, and Sylvie echoes that when she talks about her own loneliness.

Sylvie never had anyone in her life since the TVA took her, and neither she nor Loki know how to deal with that constant feeling of loneliness and having no place in the world. They keep telling themselves it doesn't matter, that they don't need anyone, that other things are more important, but the truth is: they are both hurting and so very tired of being alone.

Just like Future Loki was when he put an end to his long years of self-imposed exile and isolation.

They've all come to the same realization: that Lokis might be able to survive on their own but that surviving isn't worth much if you don't live. A life is more than a throne or an empty planet. It's made up of people you love and who love you in return, and the happiness that can be found in being known and loved.

And our Loki is ready to accept that. Instead of pushing his loved ones away like he's always done before, he starts actively trying to hold onto them. It's why he's asking both Sylvie and Mobius what they will do when it's all over. He wants to keep them in his life.

Him telling Sylvie that they could figure it out together is his way of saying, "I don't want us to be alone anymore. Please stay." While Sylvie's not quite ready to believe him yet, you can tell that she wants to. She wants to so very badly.

Which brings us to The Hug. You can see the exact moment when Loki realizes that this may be the last time he'll ever get to talk to Mobius. There's a very real possibility that they may never see each other again, and in that moment a handshake is just not enough. He's already lost Mobius once without a chance to say goodbye. He's not going to let that happen again.

So for perhaps the first time in his life, Loki actually reaches for what he truly wants. The little shake of his head before he goes in for the hug is almost painful to watch because you can see that he actually expects this to be the last moment he will ever get to share with the first real friend he's ever had. He's already grieving and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

Love is a dagger and it's already deep within his heart, twisting and turning. But love is also gratitude, and sometimes it is letting someone go even if that means you will be alone again.

Some people are worth that pain.

[monicashipslokius]

“Kneel.”

Loki looks at them, these simple mortal beings. So primitive. Like ants, running loose, lost without a queen. But they needn’t fear any longer. Loki is here, and will be their leader now. They will find purpose - glorious purpose - under their rule.

“Kneel!” Loki says again, louder, and finally they fall into line. One after the next, down to their knees, to praise -

“Um. Excuse me. Uh, sorry. This is awkward.” A man steps away from the rest. He’s wearing a dreary brown suit with a tie that needs fixing. Gray hair. Mustache. A typical, everyday Midgardian.

Loki should silence him at once. And yet - they still their hand. There’s something oddly... compelling about this fumbling oaf. Perhaps it’s the way he’s looking at Loki. Not with fear, but with interest. Curiosity. Almost a quiet understanding.

No one ever looks at Loki like that.

The man rubs the back of his neck. “It’s just that. Well. I think I might be your soulmate?”

Someone in the crowd shushes him.

Another asks, “Are you crazy?”

A woman hisses, “Mobius. There’s no way -”

The man - Mobius - glances back at her and shrugs. “So they’re ambitious.”

“They’re going to kill you.”

“Nah.” Mobius turns back to Loki. “Just a little pussycat.”

He starts forward, gently moving through the kneeling crowd, whispering, “Excuse me, pardon me, coming through,” on his way to the front.

Loki tracks his every step, watchful for any sign of trickery, but they can detect no magic on this mortal. The absolute gall of this man, to approach Loki - child of Asgard, god of mischief - as if they are equals.

Loki shouldn’t just silence him, they should scorch him from the whole of the realms.

But then Mobius smiles at Loki, a big, wide thing that twists Loki up inside. Perhaps they will wait to destroy him, if only for a moment, if only to hear him out. Loki considers themself a fair god, after all.

Listening. Then destruction.

“Speak, mortal,” Loki commands. “If that is what you desire. But know your life hangs on your words.”

Mobius looks at Loki, watching for a moment, smile never dimming. “Oh, yeah. You’re definitely the one.”

“I am all things,” Loki says, ever magnanimous.

Mobius points at them. “You’re my soulmate.”

Loki frowns. “I am not.” Then they frown harder. They know lies well, and that  felt like a big one.

But that couldn’t be.

“I have no soulmate,” Loki says, ignoring the familiar sting that comes with the words. Words repeated again and again, as all the seers in Asgard looked into their future and saw them standing alone.

Mobius’s smile softens. “Are you sure about that?”

No. Not really. How many years have passed since Loki last had the seers check? Is it possible... perhaps Mobius had been born in that time? He is but a mortal. How old could he be? 40 years? 50? The blink of an eye.

Mobius holds out a hand. “Wouldn’t you like to check?” That suit truly is ridiculous, outdated and well-worn. If they are soulmates, Loki will take him to Asgard at once and buy him -

Loki forces an abrupt stop to their own thoughts. This is deception, meant to shake them from their true purpose.

“Once I discover you are deceiving me, I will purge you from existence.”

“Okay, sure. Whatever you want.” Mobius waves his hand impatiently. “Isn’t worth trying? Then, you know, purge from existence and all that...”

“Mobius,” the same woman whisper-yells from the crowd.

Mobius rolls his eyes. “Work friend. She’s very protective.”

“She has reason to be,” Loki says, looking at that offered hand. At the long, steady fingers, the delicate wrist. Mortals are such fragile things. Beings to be conquered. Not loved.

And yet.

Loki lifts a hand. They rub their thumb and forefinger together. They will attempt a small touch for curiosity’s sake. Then, the promised destruction.

“Aren’t you afraid?” Loki asks.

“No. Excited, maybe. Not everyday you meet your soulmate.”

“You keep saying that.”

“I’m feeling confident.”

Loki swallows hard. Then they reach out. They don’t take Mobius’s hand, not fully. They merely brush the pad of one finger to the edge of his thumb.

It is enough.

Visions flood through their mind. Mobius laughing. Mobius taking Loki’s hand, pressing his lips to their knuckles, one after the next. Mobius leaning in and kissing them on their lips. Mobius pressing Loki against a wall, and Loki letting themself be pressed.

“I love you,” Mobius says under cover of darkness, in the light of day, out in the ocean on the back of some type of motorized water vehicle. “I love you,” again and again, filling the dark depths of Loki’s heart until it overflows, bursting with happiness. With immeasurable love.

Loki snaps back to the present and slowly, so slowly, withdraws their hand.

Mobius’s smile could light the whole city. “I knew it was you.”

Loki opens their mouth to speak, but what comes out is a gasped breath, very near a sob. The love from the vision has vanished, but the phantom feel of it has Loki wanting.

Deception. Has to be. But they are immune to enchantment. And there’s no magic on this man.

To be loved like that. To be held and... cherished. Even now, Mobius looks at them like they hold of all of his hopes and dreams. Loki wonders how they are looking back.

“It’s okay.” Mobius holds up both hands now, like placating a wounded animal. “I know it’s overwhelming.” Mobius takes a small step forward. Loki does too. Mobius is right there. A promise of a life Loki never thought they’d have - right there.

“Mobius,” Loki says, and the name is perfect on their tongue. They could say it a hundred times more, a thousand. They are desperate to. “Mobius.”

“I’m right here.” Mobius steps closer. Loki reaches and grabs his forearm, bunching a handful of that ugly sleeve into their fist. “I’ve got you.”

“You cannot imagine how long -”

“Step away from him,” comes a new, authoritative voice. This one, like Mobius, lacks fear, but unlike Mobius, is decidedly not Loki’s soulmate.

“We’re kind of in the middle of something,” Mobius says over his shoulder, to Captain America. “Could you give us a minute?”

Captain America does not give them a minute. “Release the citizen, Loki.”

“Wow, you are really misreading the situation,” Mobius says.

In the sky, a flying vehicle arms its weapons. Every nerve in Loki’s body stands on end, seeing Mobius in the way of it.

Loki yanks Mobius forward, closer to him, then behind him, shielding him with their body.

“Loki!” Mobius starts.

But its too late. Captain America is moving closer. Loki blocks some of his blows, misses a few others. He’s strong, but not on the level of a god. Not usually. But Loki keeps leaving themself open to protect the vulnerable mortal behind them. Loki doesn’t think Captain America would hurt Mobius, but the risk is too great. The cost is too high for Loki to guess wrong.

The sudden arrival of Tony Stark only makes matters more difficult.

When Loki raises their hands in defeat, Mobius storms around them.

“Mobius,” Loki says in alarm. Mobius is now in the way of far too many weapons. Does he not understand how fragile he is? Or how important?

“I got this, Loki,” Mobius tells them. To the others, “Now everybody hold on a minute.”

“Please move yourself to safety, citizen,” Captain America says.

“I’m perfectly safe right here.”

“Standing right there is how you get a knife in the back,” Tony Stark says.

“Loki won’t hurt me.”

“He must be brainwashed,” Captain America says.

Mobius huffs out a frustrated breath. “You aren’t listening. Loki is my soulmate.”

Tony Stark looks at Captain America. “Definitely brainwashed.” He clears his throat. “But I’ll bite. Who exactly are you?”

“Mobius M. Mobius.”

“Uh, huh. So your parents hated you,” Tony Stark says. Before Mobius can answer, Tony asks, “And what do you do, Mobius M. Mobius?”

“I’m a data analyst for a corporate conglomerate.”

“Right,” Tony Stark says. “Loki of Asgard forever bound to Mobius M. Mobius, the data analyst. Sounds fake, but okay.”

Mobius’s shoulders sink. “You don’t have to be rude about it.”

Annoyance flares hot under Loki’s skin. Mobius is perfect and how dare these simpletons insinuate otherwise. How dare they make him feel anything less than he is.

Loki takes a strong step forward, but Mobius catches sight of them first and places a hand on their chest, stilling them. Loki holds, only for Mobius’s sake.

“It’s no big deal,” Mobius says.

“They cannot speak to you like that. You are the soulmate of a god.”

“I’m not thrilled about it either. Data analysis is a respectable line of work. I’ve saved my company hundreds of thousands of dollars.”

Loki nods along, hoping they look impressed enough to spare Mobius’s feelings, when truly they have no idea what he is talking about. But whatever restores Mobius’s confidence is what they will do.

“Huh,” says Tony Stark. “Pencil pusher just stopped the god of mischief with a touch. You see that?”

“I saw it,” says Captain America. “I don’t think they’re lying.”

Mobius presses his lips together in a hard line before taking a breath and saying, “Loki, you have magic, right? Can you like...” He holds up his hands and waggles his fingers. “Magic us out of here. I think it’s getting a little crowded. Some conversations are supposed to be private.”

Loki likes the idea of... talking, but they had a plan when they came here today.

Loki looks at the scepter. At the people, no longer kneeling. At Captain America and Tony Stark, arguing about Mobius. And then, finally, they look at Mobius himself, with his calm, steady presence, ever-soft smile, and ill-fitting suit.

Loki meant to conquer all of Midgard. And this, being captured, was part of the plan. But. Perhaps. What’s waiting another day? Or two.

They very well can’t let Mobius be captured. To think of it, most of their plans might need changing now.

“Hold onto me,” Loki says.

“Happily.” Mobius goes easily into their arms.

And Loki holds tight as they magic away.

[syllvane]

muscle memory pt. 3- sylvie x reader

a/n: i said i was going to post tomorrow but i couldn’t help myself. anyways, spoilers for episode 2 and 3 of loki, minor spoilers for the beginning of episode 3. final word count is 1.7k words!

read the previous part  read the next part   read the series  

“How is Loki doing?” You asked Mobius, walking with him to the mess hall.

“He’s doing great. Making real progress, I would say.”

“Didn’t you have to have a meeting with Renslayer this morning because of his actions?” You asked, raising your eyebrows. His face scrunched up for a second.

“It’s like every time he is making progress, he takes two steps back.”

“That sounds more believable. You still think he’s worth all the trouble though?”

Mobius sighed slightly. “I really do believe in him. It’s not just an issue of whether I believe in him though, it’s whether Ravonna and the Timekeepers do.”

“Oh, you’re on first name basis now, with Renslayer?” You turned and grinned at Mobius, who immediately flushed after realizing his mistake.

“Not a word of this to anyone.” He said strictly, although there was a smile on his face as well.

“Yeah, yeah.” You said, standing in line with Mobius as he ordered his lunch before sitting down at a two-seat table. “Ravonna and Mobius-”

“C-7.” Mobius said strictly, although you could tell he was partly amused by your antics.

You continued in the same quiet, sing-songy voice as before.

“-on a jet ski. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

Mobius finished taking a sip of his drink and then applauded quietly, so as to not draw attention.

“Has anyone ever told you that you truly have all the originality of a grade-schooler?”

Before you could answer, you were interrupted by a tall man with long dark hair speed walking over to where Mobius and you were sitting.

Although he seemed to be in a hurry, you could tell that he was sizing up everybody in the room, including yourself.

“I found- oh, sorry. Didn’t see you there. Would you mind moving so that me and my partner could discuss something?” He asked politely, even smiling.

You locked eyes with him, smiling back at him.

“I’m good, thanks. You can just pull up a chair.”

His smile wavered and he maintained eye contact for a couple of moments longer before breaking it, going to a different table and pulling over a chair.

(You ignored the pointed look Mobius shot at you, like he was asking you to be the bigger person here. Unfortunately for him, you had no such intentions.)

“Right. I know how the Variant is hiding.”

Mobius leaned back.

“Talk about burying the lead. How?”

Loki smiled slightly, this smile much different from his last- he was proud of himself.

“He’s hiding in apocalypses.” 

There was a moment of silence. You and Mobius exchanged a glance.

“Which one? There’s like a million all across history.” Mobius pointed out and Loki took a second to compose himself before starting his explanation.

You sat back as he explained his reasoning, watching with amusement as he put more salt and pepper into Mobius’ salad, handing him your own drink when he realized that Mobius’ drink was empty.

He gave you a nod of recognition and Mobius sent you another, even more exasperated glance as Loki poured your drink into the salad (although, in your opinion, seeing Loki grin like that made it worth it).

                                                             —— “How was Pompeii?” You asked, not even having to look up from the apocalypse case files to figure out that it was Loki who was approaching you.

He stopped for a minute, almost taken aback by your observation, before continuing and taking a seat in front of you.

“I was right, naturally.”

You scoffed slightly.

“Naturally.”

You looked up at him to find that his piercing eyes were already looking at you, almost curiously.

“You’re already sorting through the apocalypse files.”

“Naturally occurring disasters with no survivors, cross-referenced with the candy that Mobius picked up. You were confident that you were right so I figured I should start looking.”

Loki raised his eyebrows and smiled slightly.

“You’re smarter than you look. Could’ve saved me and Mobius some time.” 

“He forgot to cross-reference?”

He nodded, hesitating for a moment before he grabbed some of the files that you hadn’t started looking over yet.

You looked at him appreciatively, though he wasn’t looking at you anymore. 

The two of you sat there, looking at the case files in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes before Mobius walked into your office as well.

“What’s this?” Mobius asked, taking a cursory glance at the file on top.

“Kablooie.” You said simply and Mobius sighed slightly, frustrated that he hadn’t thought of it.

He grabbed a couple of files as well, standing up as he started reading.

“I think I have something,” Loki said a couple of minutes later, splaying the case out on your desk so that everyone could see. “Class ten apocalypse. Alabama, 2050.”

You looked it over and even just with a cursory glance, you could tell that this is where the Variant was hiding- you looked over at Mobius and saw pride on his face.

“You’re gonna take my job if I’m not careful.”

“Now to pitch it to Renslayer.” You said and Mobius nodded, already halfway out of your office. He closed the door behind him and you looked at Loki. “I don’t think I’ve seen him this excited in a while. In fact, the last time I saw him this excited, I think we saw a jet ski on a mission.”

Loki smiled to himself, though the expression disappeared when he looked back at you.

“And what about you?”

“Hm?” You tilted your head slightly, caught off-guard by the question.

“What excites you?” 

You held his gaze for a couple of moments, feeling uncomfortable with how he looked at you, as if he knew something about you that you didn’t know about yourself. 

You finally looked away, standing up.

“We should go meet Mobius. We’ll be heading out as soon as he gets the approval.”

“You say this like it’s a sure thing.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Renslayer say no to him. Come on.”

                                                          ——

The rain sounded a hundred times louder when you were listening to it hit the roof of the Roxxcart, so loud that you could barely hear the sound of your own voice above the noise.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, positioning your reset baton defensively. The man standing by the plants seemed to hesitate slightly, although he was still much too calm for this kind of weather.

“Hurricane sale. Azaleas are half-off.”

“Could that be you?” You asked Loki, your eyes never leaving the man. Although his eyes continued to look between you and Loki, his gaze lingered on you longer.

“I… mean… I would’ve worn a suit, but it could be.”

You took a couple steps towards the man and he backed up, looking at you pleadingly.

“I don’t want to do this.” He said quietly and you tilted your head slightly, confused.

You took another step towards him.

“What-”

He grabbed your arm and a warm feeling came over your body.

A woman’s voice in your head lulled you to sleep, promising to bring you home and then everything went dark.

…

“Sylv, why are you acting so weird?” You asked, taking another sip of wine.

The blonde woman across from you smiled, although you could tell that she was forcing it for your sake.

“Another one of my suitors came and visited me today.” She said. You made a face and she laughed slightly.

“Complete fools, every one of them.”

“Fools for being deeply in love with me?” She asked, raising an eyebrow, almost as if she was allowing herself to play the part for a couple of brief moments.

“No, I’m above self-flagellation. They’re fools for thinking that they could ever win your heart.”

She laughed.

“And why is that?”

You leaned back in your chair.

“I have it on very good account that someone already has it.” You said and Sylvie‘s smile faded and her gaze didn’t quite meet yours, almost as if her mind was preoccupied elsewhere.

She looked back at you, her look apologetic.

The scene around you grew distorted, nothing quite clear anymore.

“I’m sorry.”

Her words repeated everywhere around you like you were in an echo chamber rather than…

Rather than…

Where were you?

The blonde woman that had been there a moment ago disappeared and with her, everything else.

…

When you came to, Mobius was kneeling beside you, waiting for you to wake up.

“C-7… are you okay?” He asked slowly, looking at you with more concern than you think anyone else ever has.

You propped yourself up and you looked around wildly for Loki or for the blonde woman- Sylvie- who had been in your head.

“Where are they?” You asked and you hated how desperate your voice sounded.

“They escaped. Take it easy, the Variant did a number on-”

“Mobius, I have to find her.” You said, trying to stand up only to be overwhelmed with nausea and dizziness.

Mobius supported you, keeping you from falling back onto the ground.

“I know. And we will, but we have more pressing issues right now. Come on.”

You didn’t protest, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to convince Mobius even if you promised to get him a jet ski afterwards.

What you had to do now, you would do alone.

He helped you through the portal back to the TVA and the rest of your team followed, all of them being immediately assigned to different Nexus events that were happening simultaneously.

You, being injured, were given the pass to stay back at the TVA. 

You wondered if the Timekeepers knew what you were about to do, if they could’ve predicted it- after all, they were the ones who had made you, right?

You headed to the sector of the TVA where they issued TemPads, looking at the data of where all the TemPads were jumping to and from when you stumbled upon something odd- there was a TemPad that only had one jump registered in its entire history.

TVA to Lamentis-1, 2077.

Huh.

The Variant- Sylvie- whatever her name was, must’ve found out a way to stop the TemPad from feeding data into the system, but it must’ve reset when she jumped to the TVA.

You grabbed one of the TemPad’s that were out of commission for charging, unplugging it. 

It was low on battery, but it would have to do.

You opened a portal for yourself using the exact same coordinates and time that they had put in and without any hesitation, you walked through.

[vidavalor]

Lokius/Mobius thoughts...

The part of the jet ski conversation that gets lost in the shuffle is the most interesting bit to me. It's not when Mobius expresses why he loves jet skis but when he expresses what he feels about basically all of history that causes him to love the rare bright spots like, to him, jet skis. He says that all of history is basically terrible and then it nearly all of it gets destroyed. Listen to that. Sit with that for a moment.

This guy is exhausted. He admitted to Loki in another scene that he has no idea how long he's been at the TVA but we know it's been awhile and no one really ever seems to do anything but solve time crimes. Mobius is the only real subtle rebel we see in the place-- he has his jet ski magazines and there's a novel on his desk. He's smart and a little bored and a little depressed and Loki-- *this* Loki-- is the human equivalent of jet skis to him.

Mobius has seen and knows about history and while he has not lost a sense of empathy and compassion towards humanity at all, he has lost something of a sense of hope that things that are dark and repeated traumas can maybe end for the better. 'Most of history is terrible and then it's destroyed' is also basically the story of Loki's life-- most of it was kind of awful and then he was brutally murdered. The end. It must have depressed the living hell out of Mobius to watch that. Loki's life was essentially Mobius' favorite story, only it was real and he knew it was, and he just absolutely *hated* the ending.

He hated it so much that at some point, he actually took a tempad and *went into the movie*, which is not what the TVA is supposed to do. They are supposed to halt stories that deviate from what they are told the plan is. The changes they make are to prune and shape, sure, but to a specific end goal and there's no reason to go roaming around time and space without that. Yet, Mobius went into the story and while Thor is meeting the Guardians of the Galaxy, Mobius is seeing Loki-- this Loki, *his* Loki-- in person for the first time and it's when Loki is still very dead, having been floating on a rock in space until Mobius probably pulled his body into a ship.

Consider that the tape of Loki's life ends with his death in Infinity War. That's where his file ends, officially, with the TVA but Mobius was the real ending. Long before he and Loki would figure out how there could be no consequences in the moments before the death that is an apocalypse, Mobius had figured out there would be no consequences for him if he hid away the dagger he took from Loki's body-- the one that Loki had conjured to kill Thanos, that he had *made* from his own magic, that was then a part of *Loki himself*- as no one would know Mobius was here, hiding in the bit of time after Loki's file-- and life-- had ended.

It is, in all likelihood, Mobius who closed Loki's eyes and draped something over him, probably his own TVA jacket. It is, in all likelihood, Mobius who recovered Loki's body in Infinity War and buried him somewhere.

Mobius buried Loki before he ever met him.

He and Loki look at one another for the first time, meeting with Loki alive for the first time, as Loki is shouting about how the TVA will not dictate how his story will end, having no idea that Mobius was his epilogue before and has since decided to help Loki rewrite all of the last chapters. History is terrible and then it gets destroyed. Mobius thought that true but didn't let it completely best him into cynicism-- it made him seek to be someone who would try to make proverbial jet skis happen. History might be a series of dark times upon dark times but Mobius can find the joy in it and when he's broken by Loki's horrible ending, he wants to change it because Loki, too, is to Mobius a rare alignment of form and function-- a perfect, beautiful, god equivalent of a jet ski that should not be destroyed.

When was the moment that Mobius decided to go back for a second dagger? Did he take it from some point in The Dark World, off of the illusion of a dead Loki, so he again would not disrupt time as Loki would not be able to interact with him? The two daggers from The Dark World and Infinity War look alike. Why does it matter? Because one would have sufficed for Mobius to have for himself, to keep as a memory of the Loki he only ever got to see in person in death, but two? Two daggers means he meant to give them *to* Loki. Two daggers of Loki's own making, to protect himself with and help him rewrite his story because Loki is always better with two than with one alone and one alone is too reminiscent of his murder for Mobius' taste.

Mobius was a man tired of the order of bad endings, tired of just observing, tired of reading and watching a story unfold and not being able to be a character in the story of his own life, let alone Loki's. He was already beginning to burn down the TVA just by wanting so desperately to inject it with a dose of the literal God of Mischief. He had fallen in love with the protagonist of the saddest damn story he'd ever watched and then decided to go from watching it-- yet another tragic tale in history, yet another beautiful part of the world destroyed-- to deciding that he was going to become a part of the story himself.

The movie is now his story, too, and he is determined for it to have a different ending this time around. One day, this Loki variant-- the same man Mobius fell in love with watching, really, just stopped at the point of the beginning of his terrible demise (taking the Tesseract)-- this Loki variant will have a different movie that ends with the end of his life again but Mobius will be in this movie now, too, and with any luck, it will not end with a tragic murder but some happiness and peace. History might be terrible but Loki, now, maybe won't be destroyed and Mobius was already burning down his world for that before he ever walked into Ravonna's courtroom to save Loki and step not just into Loki's life but more fully into his own. That's just... really romantic and lovely. This damn show is going to slow burn the living hell out of this, aren't they?

[druigsfavwitch]

Please Forgive Me- Loki Odinson x Reader

*****SPOILERS FOR THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE LOKI SHOW IF YOU HAVE YET TO SEE IT*****

Warnings: very much angst, its all just angst absolutely no fluff whatsoever. please read with caution

Requested: nope just decided to make people to cry today :)

Summary: Loki arrives at the TVA and Mobius shows him his fate in the sacred timeline, including the death of the love of his life.

Word Count: 977

Taglist: @marvels-writings @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @marvelettez-1 @emmaloo21 @ssebstann @masevein @peggycarter-steverogers @coollemonsaresour

Loki already hated the TVA, they seemed above everyone else. He was the only one allowed to think like that. For Odin's sake, he only touched the tesseract and he was arrested. Like, what was the purpose of this place and how does he take it over?

He didn't even get to ponder on his plan long when Mobius walked in, talking about how he had seen Loki's future and how interesting it was, to say the least.  Loki was paying very little attention to his speech until he decided to try to attack him. Surprisingly, he went on his tempad and reversed time. Loki tried this a few times and it seemed to led him nowhere. Then, Mobius sat down and started to play a video. Loki recognized the video because it was him getting his ass handed to him by the avengers. He was surprised to say the least, how did they get this?

He started arguing with Mobius, not really paying attention to the video, until a familiar voice caught his attention. "Well, if it isn't the prince of mischief himself." He turned his attention back to the screen. "Oh, she's pretty. Looks like this story is getting interesting." He looked harder at you. He knew you, he just couldn't put his finger on it. You were gorgeous, to say the least. Your skin glowed and you wore Asgardian clothes that just made you look ethereal. He remembered seeing you fighting with the avengers, so you weren't Asgardian, though you could definitely pass as one.  

He continued wathing and the further the video got, the more you guy's relationship grew. He even saw one point where you had a ring on your finger. He was happy that this was his furture.

That was until he heard Thanos. Thats when his heart leaped up into his chest, hoping you and thor were safe. He saw you being held back by Proximia. Then, without warning, she led you to Thanos. "Please, leave us alone. We did nothing." He lifted her neck up with his finger. "Just tell me where the stone is and i will let you all go." She turned to look at loki with sorrowful eyes. 'I'm sorry. I love you' She mouthed. She turned her attention back to thanos and lowered her eyebrows. "Over my dead body." He raised and eyebrow, clearly unfazed. "That can be arranged." Then, without warning, he picked her up by her neck and crushed it in one swift motion. Loki, watching the tv, started sobbing. He had dissassociated. Just from watching these little clips, he fell in love with you. Why does this always happen to him? He could hear the future loki screaming for her in the background, and the sound pained him.

He was suprised he even watched the rest of the file. He saw the ship blow up and him and thor get sent into space, with your body nowhere to be seen. That wrecked him more. You would never get a funeral or have your body laid to rest. The rest of the file consisted of watching loki survive. The heartbreaking part was during the final battle, everyone that died came out of the portals and he could see the hope of future loki's face, he thought you were coming home. But, his face dropped when he realized you never were and thats when he knew what he had to do.

He sacrified himself in the final battle. He stod his ground in front of thanos and he took his sword and plunged it through his stomach, slicing all his organs. Thor screamed and ran to him. "Loki, hang on. We're gonna get you help." Loki laughed and coughed up blood. "Brother, it's ok. It was my time. I can finally see her again. I'll be able to hug her and tell her how much i love her and spend the rest of eternity with her, like i wanted to. I'm gonna be happy. And so will you. The sun will shine on you again, brother. Sadly, there is no us anymore. I will always love you brother." Then, he saw the end of file. He started sobbing. He will never know if he ever got to see her again. Even Mobius didn't utter a word. He was shocked that the man in front of him had feelings and he died a hero. "I can't go back, can i?" Mobius thought for a second. "No, but you can change your fate if you help me." Loki scoffed. "You need me to help you catch me, i'm assuming?" Mobius sighed. "I do need you to help me catch a variant, but this may be tough to hear." Loki looked at Mobius and raised his eyebrow. "The variant is....your future wife, the one that dies." Loki's jaw dropped and his eyes watered. "I'll help you if you let me stay with her please. I never got to tell her goodbye." Mobius shook his head slow. "But, she won't remember you the way you do her." Loki let a tear run down his face. He still just wanted to tell you goodbye, to do one good thing in his life. And, he would do it right this time.

a/n: don't listen to SOUR while writing sad stories. omg, you won't see your screen

[lokislittlesigyn]

You and Me - Loki x Reader [Oneshot]

Part 2 of Sigyn’s Angst-to-Fluff Drabbles

Inspired by Cozy’s Fluff-to-Angst Fun and Games!

Pairing: Loki / Female reader

Warnings: Strong themes of depression and suicidal ideation/a near attempt. Mention of Infinity War and Endgame and all the things that happen there. Fluff awaits at the end.

Author’s Note: A nearly-impossible prompt to turn happy, but I tried my best without taking an easier route like “it was just a dream” etc! I wanted to give it my all. This is the most.. sensitive-topic fic I’ve posted here, so please, skip it or skim it if you need to. <3

@silver-lupines:

Ohohohohoho Loki’s permanent death and the reader is left as a widow. No resurrections.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You still remember it.

You’ll never forget.

Never.

The smell of the air. Thick smoke in your lungs. The colors. The sounds. Death, all around you. Permeating you. You begged for it to end.

He was not so kind.

No, He was not the kind type.

He killed half of every whole. And Loki - Loki had made you feel whole.

What were you now?

You were still a full person, but broken nonetheless. A ghost. Yes, you were a ghost of who you were before. You haunted your own body, desperate for it to stop. Stop aching, stop hurting, stop feeling - let you go, release you to the endlessness of whatever unexistence was, because any unknown it held was surely better than knowing Loki was gone.

You had lived five painfully long years without him. Your husband. The boy you’d known on Asgard, fallen in love with, married and loved and lived through the pain of losing. Twice. 

No, thrice. But the third you had to watch.

You had to watch everything. Leg pinned under the rubble on the Statesman, no more than entertainment for the creatures around you as you screamed at the top of your lungs, unwilling witness to-

You couldn’t bear to think of it.

Sure, you weren’t completely alone. You had your remaining friends: the ones that were not also ripped from you, destroyed for the sake of an asinine plan that made you want to scream and cry and unleash all your anger on the monster who caused it.

You never got the chance.

The others fought. You joined, but you never were close enough to attack The One You Wanted. You were wounded early on. And now He was nothing. No more than dust.

But you felt more despair than comfort.

When the portals had opened, you’d turned, tears pricking your eyes as you scanned them. Loki would be there, you were sure of it. He’d find you. He had to. They knew what he meant to you - they knew to bring him back, too. You pushed through oncoming allies, looking for him. But with every new face you saw only made your heart sink further.

He wasn’t there.

He’d never be there again.

That realization dragged your hope away with it. 

Now you’d made the preparations. Everything was laid out. You even left notes. Your friends would know it was nothing they’d done, because it wasn’t up to them. You didn’t blame anyone that was left. They hadn’t taken Loki from you, that Creature had. And carrying on without him? It was just all too much for you, now - you needed an escape.

But as soon as you closed the door of your room, intent on your next action, someone behind you spoke. With a jolt, you faced them.

“On behalf of the Time Variance Authority, I hereby charge you with crimes against the sacred timeline.”

You went agape. How did they get into your room? Officers of some sort, suddenly standing before you. A glowing orange door pulsated behind them.

This had to be a dream. Yes, you must be dreaming. Your mind was cooking up something bizarre in a last-ditch effort to pull you back to the land of the living. Not that it would matter. The gleaming sword on your bed held promise. You just had to reach it.

“What?!” Was all you could manage. One of the people moved forward, hand outstretched- Now this, this you could do. Life on Asgard trained you for combat. You grabbed them, leveraging your body weight to flip them over. But the other agent swung, hitting you with a baton-

Time stopped.

Or, slowed, to the point that you felt as though you were frozen in place, yet you listened as the one officer brushed themselves off, grumbling about Asgardians, while the one who hit you secured something around your neck. 

“Let’s get her back.”

As you were escorted through the door, you turned and growled in your throat, arm outstretched to grab your sword - but as soon as you were through the door, it closed. 

~~~

The next minutes - hours? - were a blur. You were escorted through a strange place you didn’t recognize - you figured it must be the TVA your captors spoke of, whatever that was - but before you could ask any proper questions, you were tossed into a room. And another room. And another.

In fact, you had been to so many places that were all the same drab beige, and had your clothes removed and replaced with a horrific jumpsuit, you weren’t sure where you were until at last you were taken to a long room, flanked with booths. Down at the end of the room sat someone who was clearly a judge. 

A trial. This was a trial.

So what in Odin’s name were you guilty of?

You were pushed onto a small podium, glaring up at your captor. You’d already tried to escape - but had been overpowered, the collar firmly around your neck offering no chance of liberation.

The woman before you, now clearly visible - or, part of her was, as most of her person was concealed behind the mountain of wood between you. 

She was well-dressed. Professional. Her hair drawn back, her gaze stern. She looked like a leader, and practically radiated power. 

But she was wrong. You were blameless. Why were you here?

“(Y/N) Lokiwife,” The judge spoke, gazing down her nose at you. “Or Leifdottir, if you prefer.”

Your glare didn’t waver.

She cleared her throat.

“You are charged with sequence violation seven-thirty forty-one. How do you plead?”

You sighed. “You must be mistaken. I have done nothing wrong.”

The judge tapped her pen against the paper below her.

“Are you guilty or not guilty?”

“Of a sequence violation, whatever that means? No. No, I am not. I was in my room, minding my own business, when your goons barged in and brought me here.” You clenched your jaw. 

The judge smiled - a forced, strained sort of smile, where her teeth remained hidden behind her lips. You matched her expression with one just the same.

“Those goons, as you call them, were tasked with bringing a criminal,” She pointed the pen at you, “To justice. How. Do you. Plead?”

“Not guilty.” You hissed.

“I highly doubt-”

She was cut off by a new individual running over, whispering into her ear. The judge tensed. You saw her brow furrow, her jaw clench. 

“Thank you.” Her voice was curt.

Silence hung over the courtroom as the other individual left. 

The judge shook her head. “I sentence you as not guilty.” She took her gavel, pounding it in a swift, final motion.

Your breath caught in your chest. “Not guilty?”

“Yes, that’s what I said. Not guilty. I suppose this was all more for formality, anyway;” Renslayer motioned to the trial room and straightened a stack of papers, “You’re merely assurance.”

“Assurance for what exactly?”

“A mission.”

You felt like screaming. Everything was so vague, so mysterious - couldn’t they just let you go? Or else kill you and get it over with?

“Fantastic. Glad to know I can help your cause.” You sneered.

The judge raised a brow, then looked past you. “You’d better be right about this, Mobius.”

“Not to worry, I can handle it from here.” 

A new voice sounded behind you. You whipped around to face it. 

“Woah, hey there.” A man walked toward you, his hands raised. Wearing a suit - much like those you had seen on Midgard, yet somehow different - his short hair streaked silver, a mustache over his crooked-smile lips. Mobius. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“What do you want with me?” You glared, not moving from your place.

“Not one to trust easily. I get it. Listen, I’ve got someone you’ll want to see. But you need to trust me now, okay?”

He held his hands out, palms up. You looked at them. Then back at his face. His brows were raised, he seemed hopeful - expectant. You sighed through your nose, and took a wary step toward him.

“That’s better.” He looked at the judge, pointing at her. “I owe you one, Ravonna. I’m telling you - irreplaceable help, you gave today. Irreplaceable!”

The judge rolled her eyes, but a smile played on her lips.

Mobius turned to you. “Shall we?”

~~

Your next journey was far more welcome. Mobius didn’t manhandle you, thank the Norns, though you did sense the eyes of surrounding agents on you. Agents, dressed in the same black armor as those who had fetched you. You stared ahead, avoiding their gaze.

“Where is this place?” Finally, you broke the silence.

“Where, not what?” Mobius answered, smirking.

“This is the TVA, whatever that means. But where is it?”

“You thinking of running away?”

You looked at him.

“Right. Of course you are.. Outside of space and time, if it matters.”

You raised a brow. “And I’m supposed to believe that?”

Mobius exhaled through his lips, chuckling softly. “Ideally, yeah.” The two of you walked through a corridor, apparently intent on a destination you had no idea about.

“Well- Well why am I here?” You stopped in your tracks. Mobius turned to face you, hands in his pockets. You continued, “The judge ruled me not guilty. Said I was assurance - assurance for what?”

“A mission.” Mobius spoke carefully. You narrowed your eyes.

“What?” He asked. “You weren’t exactly busy.”

“Actually, I was in the middle of something.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I was! I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be anywhere-” You stopped yourself. You felt heat rush to your eyes and nose, but forced yourself to swallow the knot in your throat. You couldn’t, wouldn’t break. Not here. Not in front of countless strangers.

You just wanted to go back to Loki, wherever he was. You didn’t care where.

Mobius watched you. “Come on, I think this will help.”

Giving him a look, you let your shoulders slump, then followed him. Felt your eyes go dull. When you reached a door flanked by two guards, which Mobius quickly dismissed, you straightened up.

Mobius turned to you. “Now, this is going to be a little weird, okay? But bear with me. Just, go with the process, laugh or cry or whatever you need. Got it?”

You stared at him. “I.. What are you even getting at? I told you, I don’t want to be here! I don’t want to be anywhere. I don’t want to be alive, I don’t care if it’s here, or on Earth, or anywhere else, I do not want it-”

Mobius sighed, placed his hand on the small of your back, and urged you into the room, shutting the door behind you. You gasped at the motion and moved to stop the door - but it shut with a resounding thud. Tears betrayed you, streaming down your face. 

“Let me out!” You pounded your fist against the door, “I don’t want to be part of your sick game- Do you understand me? I have nothing to live for, nothing-”

“(Y/N)?” A quivering voice pulled you back to reality.

No, not just any voice.

That voice.

The voice you knew. The voice you missed.

You turned on the spot. Your body froze. There, before you, stood Loki.

“Loki?”

Loki rushed to you. You were frozen, staring up at him. Afraid to touch him. Afraid that if you dared to feel his embrace again he may disappear.

He looked familiar, but not the same as when you last saw him - thank the Norns for that.

No, he looked almost.. Younger? His hair was shorter, not so long nor so wavy as the tresses you remember playing with on the Statesman before He came.

And his clothes. The same as yours: a demeaning jumpsuit. They must’ve put him through all this, too.

What could he possibly be guilty of?

You looked at his face. Your vision, blurry, your body, shaking - you reached for him. He met you. His hand touched your face, cupping your cheek. You felt yourself sob without fully realizing, certainly not controlling it.

He was here. He was alive.

You broke. Melted into his touch, embracing him.

“My love.. Oh, my darling…” His arms enveloped you, his hand sliding to the back of your head, cradling it against his chest.

Your ear pressed to his body, you smiled past your tears, gripping his clothes as though he could disappear at any moment. But you could hear his heartbeat. You savored it, the rhythmic beat, which seemed to steady as you held him in turn. You wanted to stay in this moment forever.

“L-Loki, you.. You were gone,” your voice cracked, “You... He took you from me.”

“I know.” Loki kissed the top of your head, “I know, I saw it all.”

“You - what?”

Loki pulled away, gazing into your eyes, though never letting you go. He swallowed. “I saw it. All of it. My entire life, as it was, apparently, meant to be. I know what you had to endure.”

Tears formed in your eyes again.

“My love, I am so sorry.”

“N-No, I..” You cupped his face, hands stroking his cheeks. One of his hands found yours, and grasped it for him to press a kiss to your knuckles. You smiled. “I have you. You’re back, you’re alive, you…” You huffed a soft laugh and leaned in to kiss him. His lips met yours, and you could feel a tear from his cheek slide onto yours. He broke the kiss, pressing your foreheads together.

“I love you. I missed you terribly. Darling, I can’t express how good it is to see you,” he let himself grin, another tear squeezing out onto his cheek at the movement. He steadied himself, watching you with adoration shining in his eyes.

“I-I missed you too.. Norns, I.. I thought they would kill me or something.. I wished for it.” You swallowed.

Loki’s expression stayed composed, but you saw fear flash in his eyes. Pain. “I heard.”

“I.. I’m sorry-”

“No. You don’t have to apologize for that. It’s not your fault. Neither of us caused the pain we were put through, do you understand? And I am never leaving you again. Never.”

You stared into his eyes. Somehow, the surety with which he spoke seemed… Real.

He wasn’t leaving.

He’d never leave you again.

Silently, you nodded. “And I’ll never leave you.”

He smiled. “I know, my sweet. I know you never will. ”

You remained a moment, until the both of you calmed enough to part - now standing near each other, the tears ceasing. 

You wiped the back of your hand across your cheek. “I can’t believe you’re real,” you joked, weakly, “You’re here.”

Loki smiled, letting out a small chuckle. He gave you another small, loving kiss.

“I’m here.”