#and like. if i do that again i will die. genuinely. i can't do that again. but.
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hi ! how does suo, sakura and kaji (of u write him) when they annoy the hell out of the reader (playfully) and the reader doesn’t want to talk to him anymore how do they comfort the sulking reader?? thank u! i hope you dont die
apology (un)accepted! . wind breaker
where wbk men annoys the hell out of you and you sulk. how do they convince you to forgive them?
featuring : suou hayato, sakura haruka, kaji ren.
cw : fluff fluff fluff, sakura and kaji not being able to apologize, kisses in suou(i just like him ok)
a/n : OHMYGOD ITS ALMOST THE END OF THE YEAR—and i just wrote this?!?! this request has been sitting in my inbox for MONTHS... anon u might as well be dusty rn😕😕🙏 also that last part... r u threatening me��😱
KAJI REN :
seriously? you're upset over that? he knows you're a little sensitive sometimes, but he didn't expect you to be this sensitive. he just put your water bottle on top of the fridge and laughs at you because you couldn't reach it, and now you're mad at him because of it. he's been 'trying' to apologize, but you would just ignore him.
well, of course, since his apology attempt is just him trying to make small talk with you. he's not good with it, okay? he's been trying to get you to talk just atleast a little, offering you one of his candies, sitting besides you, and even took off his headphone to put besides you and act as if he had lost it so you could give it back to him. he was sure you both would talk like normal again after that, but he was oh so wrong.
you were still upset.
after many unsuccessful 'apology' attempts, he pulled out his phone from his pocket and text his friend, kusumi, to ask for advice. he knows that kusumi probably has never been in a relationship before, but he's great at communicating with people. so he could probably help him, that's what kaji thought. after texting him, kusumi told kaji to "just apologize directly and everything will be okay:)".
well, that doesn't help. after reading kusumi's text for what felt like an hour, he finally mustered up the courage to approach you on the sofa and apologize. "sorry, for earlier." you were happy that he actually apologized, but you want him to be more genuine. so you told him that. "ugh, i'm sorry, okay? dont...ignore me like that again, dumbass."
he may have called you a dumbass, but you're 100% sure that he didn't mean it.
SUOU HAYATO :
would immediately notice your change in behaviour, and he would immediately apologize. but, you being you, stays upset for the whole day. he is so confused on what to do. he offers you tea, he apologized again, but you still won't budge. what do you want him to do? get on his knees so you would forgive him?
well, he can do that. when he does, you immediately told him to stand up and asks what he's doing. "what do you mean? i'm just asking for your forgiveness, love." he says, as if stating the obvious. you waved both your hands in panic infront of your face, saying that he doesn't have to go that far for your forgiveness.
"oh? what do you want me to do, then?" he asked once again, and you go quiet. your fingers are trembling because you can't just possibly tell him to do whatever you want for your forgiveness. but you did anyway. not with your words, but with your actions. you lift your hand and use your finger to point to your lips, asking him to kiss you.
his eyes went wide slightly before he chuckled and approached you. he grabbed you by your chin and gave you a peck on your lips. he pulled back then whispered, "if you want that as an apology, you could've said so since the beginning."
SAKURA HARUKA :
oh, oh no. he's upset that you're upset. well, he's not angry at you. he's confused as to why you would get so upset over a simple little joke. all he did was hid your phone under the pillows in the living room, pretended not to see it—although it failed because he's bad at stifling his laughs, then reveals it to you. he doesn't understand why you would get upset over that.
not only that, sakura is the WORSE(with italic and bold) at apologizing. even worse than kaji. he has way too much pride in himself to actually apologize, which make this predicament much worser for the both of you. but of course, since you're his lovely partner, he'd try his best to apologize to you.
it took a lot of practice in the bathroom, and he finally had the courage to approach you and apologize, even though he is still stuttering. but, when he had the courage, an hour has passed already, and you aren't even upset at him anymore. so when he came up to you and mumbled, "hey, i'm... um... s-sorry, y'know. for earlier. i didn't mean to hurt your feelings." you just chuckled softly at him before quickly pulling him into a hug. you tell him that no, you're not upset anymore at him, and that you appreciate his effort to apologize at you by practicing his apology over and over again for an hour.
he asks you to never mention that last part ever again.
naomi-nana. do NOT repost, do not use,(with or without permission), do not reccommend or talk about my works outside of tumblr.
#nao.writes#wind breaker#wind breaker nii satoru#kaji ren#sakura haruka#suou hayato#kaji ren x reader#sakura haruka x reader#suou hayato x reader#wind breaker x reader#wind breaker x you#wind breaked x yn#wind breaker scenarios#wbk#x reader#ren kaji#hayato suou#haruka sakura#wind breaker kaji#wind breaker suo#wind breaker sakura#wind breaker fluff#wind breaker fanfics
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When We Were Young || Part Two
->Anon asked: Reader was in love with Ben before he became soldier boy like as kids and then grew old watching him become and asshole and then “die” and imagines what their life could have been (would be heartbreaking to read but hey let’s get emotional)
Description: The fond memories of growing up with Benjamin Gilman, the man who eventually became America's Greatest Superhero, become a thing of the past. Yet when the reader meets him again...what will happen?
Pairings: Soldier Boy x (Eventual Supe) Reader.
Warnings: Soldier Boy is his own warning, language, sexual content.
Note: I twisted the request a bit and made the reader a supe. This is still the most devastating piece I think I have ever written. This is part two. ITS BEEN 2 YEARS GUYS AND I FINALLY WROTE THE PART 2!!!! Please read at your own risk.
It could have been anyone…
Anyone but him.
“Y/N…” Your breath hitched in your throat as you stared up at none other then the man who you thought was dead. It had been twenty-nine years since Ben’s death, and here he was, standing in front of you.
“Y/N….you…you haven’t aged a bit—”
SLAP.
A harsh slap against his cheek knocked both of you to your senses.
“I thought you were dead!" You hollered, voice cracking through heavy tears, standing in front of the soldier, who only seemed to smile. "Well...I'm here, aren't I?" He laughed, outstretching his arms for you to come in to. Yet, you pointed your finger, stepping back, your feet hitting the edge of another tombstone.
You clenched your fists, your whole body trembling as you pointed your finger and refused to let him embrace you.
"Why are you here now?" Tears welled up in your eyes as you glared at him.
The smile on his face slowly disappeared, and he looked at you with uncertainty and regret.
"I know I'm late, but I wanted to see you again," he said apologetically.
You shook your head, the tears now streaming down your face.
"You should have come back alive! Why are you only here now?"
Ben looked down, his shoulders sunk, guilt creeping onto his features.
"I didn't want to leave you like that…but I had no choice…I didn't think I'd come back like this…I'm sorry."
You looked at him, the tears still overflowing from your eyes.
"Sorry isn't enough…it's been twenty years…why are you just here now? You didn't come to me for all these years!"
Ben looked at you, regret etched on his features.
"I wanted to, I really did…but I couldn't…I'm sorry…I'm here now, though…"
He stretched his arms out again, hoping to embrace you, but you only shook your head and took another step back.
He looked at you helplessly, his arms still outstretched.
"How can I make it up to you?" He asked, desperation in his voice.
"I can't just forgive you because you just came back now," you snapped, your voice shaking with emotion.
"You left me…alone!" You sobbed, the anger; the sadness etching your still youthful features. "I watched the world change without you…"
Ben remained silent, his expression growing more somber as you scolded him.
"You died, Ben. You were supposed to stay dead. You remembered what I told you on the balcony that night…Herogasm…Do you remember?"
You wiped your teary face, feeling frustrated and devastated as you looked at him.
Ben looked at you, his expression full of guilt.
"I remember…I remember everything you said that night…I can't forget…"
"Our fairytale, what we had was over…you left a whole world behind because you were too full of yourself to see who was always there for you…" You began, your sobs and tears still evident on your face. "Twenty-nine years," You repeated. "It's been twenty-nine years…"
Ben stood there, his expression full of guilt as you spoke.
"I know…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have let my ego get in the way," Ben's voice was heavy with regret, his shoulders sinking lower.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, but you couldn't stop the tears from trickling down your face.
"How can I make you forgive me?" He sounded genuinely unsure, feeling helpless as he looked at you crying while his arms were still outstretched, eager to embrace you.
"I-I'll do anything…I just…I just want you to forgive me…"
Seeing him so earnest and apologetic made your heart ache more. You could see the regret and guilt on his face, but something still made you hesitate to embrace him.
"Anything? You'll do anything?"
"Yes." He quickly nodded, desperate for a chance to make up for his mistakes.
"No matter what you ask, I'll do it," he said firmly, his expression sincere.
"I want…you…to leave." You said without thinking. "Leave, act like you never saw me."
Ben's eyes widened, his expression suddenly filled with shock and heartbreak.
"What? Y-you want me to just leave?"
He looked at you, disbelief and sadness evident in his eyes.
"You want me to just pretend like I never saw you?"
The words hit his chest hard and left him speechless.
"Soldier Boy…Ben…there were people looking for you…I had hopes that you'd come back for me, realize what we had was real. However…you never did. And the first thing you thought to do was show up two decades later thinking I would welcome you back with open arms?" You took a breath, trying to regain your composure. "Do us both a favor, and leave. I think I've had enough heartbreak for the rest of my lifetime."
Ben stared at you, his eyes full of sadness and regret.
"…So, that's it then?" He asked, his voice quiet and solemn.
He looked at you, hoping for even a glimmer of hope…but you remained resolute, staring back at him firmly.
"…You want me to leave. Act like I never existed…right?"
"That's what you've apparently done the last two decades…" You spat.
Ben's expression darkened, realizing he had no room to retort.
He looked down, his shoulders sunken as he stood there, deep in thought for a moment.
"Just tell me one thing," he started, his tone heavy with emotions.
"Did you move on? From me?" He looked away from you, not daring to look you in the eyes, fiddling with his fingers and the fur on his jean jacket. You were silent, whether or not you did move on, the question hung loosely in the air.
"I never did." You whispered, through lidded eyes. "No matter who caught my eye, or approached me over the years. I never slept with anyone, never married, nothing." You turned away from him. It was just like the night he left you...all those years ago.
"I ran after that truck, wanting so badly to tell you I loved you, I wrote letters everyday with no response. I kept your picture on my bedside table, hoping you'd knock on my door. Hoping you would come home. Instead I get a folded up flag, and years of waiting. Life wasted on the one thing I thought would be my eternity." You poked his chest hard with your finger.
Ben grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. Not enough to hurt, but enough to at least grab your attention.
"I'm real. I'm here."
You shook your head, feeling your chest tighten, the heartache still too raw to forgive him so easily.
He continued holding your hand firmly in his, his expression pleading as he looked at you.
"I'm here now. What we had doesn't have to be wasted. We can start anew," he tried to reason.
The way he held your hand and pleaded with you, his eyes desperately seeking forgiveness, made your heart waver.
He looked so sincere and apologetic, but you were still unsure.
"How do I know you won't disappear again?" You asked, your voice shaking with lingering emotions.
"I won't, I promise. I won't disappear again," he replied, his voice sincere and urgent.
He held your hand tighter, almost as if he was willing to do anything just to please you.
He looked at you pleadingly, with full regret in his eyes.
"Please give me another chance. Please…I'll prove to you I won't disappear, just please give me another chance," You looked down at the thick snow underneath your feet. The cold was something that made you feel alive, you weren't sure of yourself. But something in your chest forgave him, just this once.
Ben waited in anticipation as you looked down, hoping, waiting, pleading mentally.
When your eyes returned to his, he looked at you expectantly, hoping to see any hint of forgiveness.
His heart raced, hoping you had spared him this chance.
He looked sincere, but you still felt uncertain. Will he really not disappear, or was it another lie?
"I love you, Ben." You choked.
Ben's eyes widened, his whole body relaxed as he heard your words.
He had feared the worst, but never knew how much meaning your words held.
"You do? You forgive me?" He felt his emotions overwhelm him, and his eyes began to shimmer.
"You still love me?" His voice trembled with emotion.
"I've always…love you Ben Gilman."
Ben's chest swelled, his heart full of emotions.
Upon hearing you say those words, his heart felt lighter, but still, tears welled up in his eyes and threatened to spill.
He stepped forward and hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, wanting to pull you into a tight embrace. You pressed your lips against his, a feeling like no other. He tasted like iron, smelled like soot and blood, and felt like heaven.
Ben wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you against himself, feeling your body against his.
He held you close, feeling your lips press against his.
For a moment the cold seemed to melt away, and the past 29 years seemed to fade into nothing.
The only thing that mattered was Ben having you in his arms again. It felt like the old days.
Of when you were both young.
#jensen ackles#jensen ackled#the boys#soldier boy#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy🍦🪖🎯#soldier boy the boys#the boys soldier boy
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More thoughts!
Illario is extremely sus.
THE CAMEOS!!!!! IN MINRATHOUS!!!!!
I always knew from the lore that the First Warden was a little bitch, but actually meeting him is a next level experience. What a fucking asshole.
Taash is such a fun character. They're so delightfully blunt, but also sweet in their own way. The gamer bros are so mad about Taash and those whiny little pieces of detritus can go fuck themselves.
Every now and again, there's a wild Matt Mercer, and I'm delighted. He Has The Range.
I'm genuinely enjoying the puzzles, which is a wild concept for a BioWare game. Finally, some good fucking level design.
They keep dropping deep lore bombshells that have put years of me going full Pepe Silvia over this world to shame, and I'm so excited about it.
Ghilan'nain is a straight up nasty bitch in every sense of the term, which I already kinda knew from Tevinter Nights, but fighting her makes me think Rook should invent bleach just to deal with her mess.
Emmrich's personal arc villain has energy somewhere between Yzma and Doc Ock, and I am very entertained.
Emmrich may not wear black, but he's the gothest motherfucker in this entire series and I couldn't be happier.
Everyone is so concerned about Lucanis' pantry living and it's very sweet but also hilarious.
I love watching Lucanis develop friendships with everyone else. That's right; open your heart, sad bird man.
Love how Taash is immediately Lucanis' #1 fan for assassin reasons and he's so confused by it.
Unlocking the pieces of Solas' backstory is so fun because you get worldview-altering lore drops and then the Veilguard has a family meeting every time to discuss the new info and read Solas for filth.
Absolutely worth reading any codex entries related to the Lighthouse or companions, because you get fun insight into the daily domestic living of the Veilguard in the Lighthouse on top of whatever lines you already get about it when they're talking to each other at home. They really are like a household.
I enjoyed the Descent DLC of Inquisition, so Harding's personal arc is an absolute joy.
All the gamer bros complaining that the game isn't dark, mature fantasy like the rest of the series are honestly probably just mad at the lack of Desire demons, because there is absolutely no shortage of dark shit in this game, y'all. I mean, for fuck's sake, the major factions in the story include 1) a struggling abolitionist resistance movement that routinely tangles with people engaging in horrifying ritual murder, 2) a guild of assassins who have way too much political power but have also been forced to become a resistance group because their country has no army, 3) the supposedly apolitical army of people who poison themselves to fight evil until they inevitably die horrible deaths, and 4) straight up necromancers. And that's just the factions! That's not even getting into the plot!
Neve and Lucanis continue to have stellar chemistry.
Bellara needs so many hugs and it frustrates me that I can't provide them.
Experienced a very funny glitch during Harding's second personal quest in Act 2 where something seemed off about my Rook and then I realized that her left boob was missing. Her left boob was Sir Not Appearing in This Film. Straight up had decided not to participate in this conversation. I lost my shit. I may share a screenshot of it at some point.
Taash admitting in an argument with Emmrich that they don't like him because they think necromancy is freaky allowed me the opportunity to be like "Do you think that about me? 🥺" as a Mourn Watcher, which I'm so glad of, because a lot of the companions are uncomfortable with Emmrich's necromancy and I have been dying to get the chance to call them out for not considering how that would make Rook feel.
Emmrich made a move on my Rook last night and *fans self* hoo lord. Lucanis better show up with some extremely strong game very soon, otherwise he will have thoroughly lost to Thedas' very own Hammer Horror Man.
(Davrin fell out of the running pretty quick, since his personality ended up not fitting well as a romance for my Rook. Ironically, when they first announced the companions, I was almost certain I would end up being a Davrin girlie. Alas, he is not the type I'd thought he'd be. He also failed to show up in a waistcoat, unlike the other two, and we all know how weak I am for a good waistcoat.)
I love that Act 2 is just like The Gang Goes To Therapy. Sometimes this involves killing things. Or people. But not always!
Some fun DATV things I'm experiencing:
Playing as female Rook makes the first few quests until you get Lucanis very Girls Night, which I really started to notice after a friend pointed it out and she is so right.
Neve is bestie.
Lucanis' intro cinematic made me feel so attacked. That shit was so my brand lol.
Lucanis and Neve's banter is hilarious and if I don't romance Lucanis I may end up shipping him with Neve.
Did Bellara's first personal quest and almost cried. Hit me a little close to home.
Neve's hangout quest was delightful. I want to chat and snack and walk around with her all day.
Neve and Bellara's developing friendship is so fun. I want to see a scene where Lucanis gets involved in their cooking adventures.
Shopping and getting coffee with Lucanis was like Oh No He's Thoughtful And Charming And I'm Weak.
Chose Lucanis over Neve in that one decision that made me want to scream and now she's hardened and I'm so sorry bestie I was thinking of the defenseless people and I will never be okay again.
Varric playing mentor to Rook got me right where it hurts. He's there for when you need an adultier adult to tell you that you're doing okay and that he's proud if you. I cry forever.
Assan and Manfred are my SONS and I LOVE THEM and I make the most ridiculous noises when they are on screen. THEY ARE SUCH GOOD BOYS.
The quest to acquire Emmrich is fucking delightful if you're a nice Mourn Watcher and you bring Bellara along. Just three huge nerds enjoying each other's company while doing dangerous shit.
Davrin and Emmrich's banter is like two dad's comparing notes.
As a Watcher, Myrna kinda feels like my mentor-mom, which is funny.
More thoughts to come. Just wanted to scribble down a few things so far for the people to let y'all know I'm having a fucking blast.
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This is the only thing I'm going to say about the election until it's over:
Anyone who did not vote for Harris or who attempted to dissuade people from voting for Harris, you are indirectly responsible for whatever shit Donald Trump does if he gets elected. That blood is primarily on his hands, yes. But it is also on yours. I hope you can live with that because I sure as hell wouldn't be able to.
#'but gaza' trump wants TO OBLITERATE THEM. HE LITERALLY WANTS THERE TO BE NOTHING LEFT OF GAZA AT ALL. WHY DO YOU THINK#I DON'T WANT HIM IN POWER?????#yeah I said I wouldn't election post I lied sorry.#I know most of you don't actually care what happens to american citizens because we're all Violent Hypocrites who should kill ourselves#and somehow every single civilian is responsible for the actions of a military and government that comparatively few of us are actually par#of but FUCKING HELL. You don't care about THE PEOPLE OF GAZA??? Because that's what you're telling me if you're in favor of#doing anything OTHER than the most likely path to get trump out of politics. which is voting for the candidate DIRECTLY OPPOSING HIM.#the thing about america being an empire that needs to die. is that before it dies. it is still affecting the rest of the world.#I can't make you care about me and my loved ones. but I am IMPLORING you to have some fucking compassion for all the people#who are going to be DEEPLY negatively affected elsewhere if trump gets into power.#THEIR HARM. THEIR DEATHS. ARE ON /YOU/ IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO FACILITATE TRUMP'S VICTORY IF THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.#I don't believe most of you actually have any amount of the sympathy and compassion for others you claim to have.#I don't think any of the causes you throw yourself behind are actually meaningful to you. I don't think any of this is based on a#genuine desire to build a better world. I think you just want your Internet friends to think you are a Good Person.#if I see anyone. ANYONE. acting like a trump presidency is what we 'deserve'. or that it's necessary to 'teach [xyz] a lesson'#I am NEVER speaking to you again I don't care how long I've known you.#us politics#I am a disabled queer woman. almost everybody I love is also disabled and queer. you think we're acceptable collateral damage fine.#but don't cry that I'm being a bitch if I say that that makes me not trust you and not want to have anything to do with you.
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Honestly transformers one deserves a medal for being the first transformers. Thing. In like five years to make me actually like and want to see bumblebee
#God I was. Look okay the market. The transformers market. Is SO oversaturated with bumblebee#Stop making him the protagonist of things please I just want to see ONE new character just one just one new guy#Like he's familiar I get it. The audience knows him. Cute little guy#But also I do not care get him off of my SCREEN#It's not even that I DISLIKE bumblebee. As a character. I liked him in the 80s I liked him in Bumblebee 2018 I liked him in prime#I am just. SO tired of seeing him in EVERYTHING#Bumblebee oversaturation is real and it could happen to you#Anyways tf1 made him fun again. He's quirky. he's silly. He's not an audience surrogate or an inexperienced kid for the adults to teach he'#Literally just some guy. I missed when Bumblebee was just some guy#Also his crippling loneliness and isolation in the dumpster? Yeah man I get it#Also he was funny. Call me a middle schooler but he was FUNNY. I giggled#And even the jokes that didn't land I was never like Oh brother this guy STINKS. And I think that's because the jokes and bee himself never#Overstayed their welcome#So yeah good for them for making me actually like bumblebee again. I genuinely thought it couldn't be done#He's my friend and I like him :)#This is incomprehensible sorry I just really want to share my thoughts on tfone and I haven't had the energy to make any written analysis#And I don't have a car. So I can't watch it in theatres again#Watch in in theatres for me. Please#transformers one#Transformers#Also badassatron was funny I'll die on this hill#Sorry it WAS funny until it became my partner's vocal stim and now they must be SLAIN
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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I've never been a "born in the wrong generation" type of guy because for So Many reasons I would be dead. Full stop like I would have died during childbirth I would have died of appendicitis age 8 and that's not even factoring in my queerness and neurodivergency and ultimately my mental health (carefully maintained thanks to support/modern advances in medicine and treatment). On Top Of That my hobbies include The Video Game and many such things that are of modern invention (adjacently: including The Device I'm typing this out on right now which has become my main avenue of communication to the outside world)
But I'm just saying that. It WOULD be nice. To exist in a world where fluorescent lighting doesn't exist and everything is possibly 99% less overstimulating all of the time forever.
#and like. a little less capitalist dystopia. i could do with less of that.#but focusing primarily on my own struggle. it's just a bummer sometimes like#i genuinely had fun!!! w my sisters and friends!!! esp at the arcade w ddr that is ALWAYS so fun#but man you can't even take me to your own damn house unless if you're ready to accept vampire rules.#my sister can/does dim the lights if i ask and i don't mind asking it's just fucking crazy to me like#damn uoy guys live like this. bright ass lights ten diff convos at once music in the bg. what if i died on this beanbag#BUT. THAT IS. one thing that is very nice i AM allowed to die on the beanbag!!!!!!! i'm allowed to cozy up and rest#while everyone does their own thing and i can listen in and chime in every now and again. severely underrated tbh#i really only feel a little hopeless when i think about like. public spaces where the only thing i can control is myself#IF i am ever employable again my requirements would be. no florescent lighting. i will die.#which like. kind of limits my prospects.#i do enjoy outdoors/physical work actually though so. i'm just limited bc i have to bind.#i am. so severely. banking on top surgery working out. it won't be a cure-all but by god it WILL open up my options#plus the. constant fatigue. of binding. but not binding is even worse. i need divine intervention (surgery)#SAD. well there are other people in yhe world#but man rhat is like my fave joke to make but i feel so much sadness attached to it. the world will move on without me.#there are a million other people who are far more capable. much 'easier'. ect.#and i know the answer is well there's only one me and there are a handful of people who love me. who keep me and include me#i am very thankful for that.#it's just a bit of a bummer sometimes. i stay silly and have the most fun i can but i am a little sad about it.
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I wish I could tell if people still care or not 😭
#it's becoming difficult for me to really tell ngl#idk anymore my life is my own all my thoughts are plagued but I already decided I myself shouldn't care either lol so#I keep thinking back to that one time on my friend's birthday where I genuinely felt like I was gonna die 😭 like the pain was that bad#and like it seems silly when I look back on it now but like idk in that moment at least I could see that people cared about me#do I have to end up like that again for some semblance of understanding that the people I know love me?#because otherwise all I get is uncertainty criticism or both lmao it's like do I have to be in physical pain for you to be concerned?#since you can't understand my mental pain?#idk I'm just saying things now I feel like#my posts
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it would feel so nice to work towards a career that has meaningful impact and makes millions of people happy
#i follow this person cleo abrams on youtube and she's always talking so excitedly about scientists#and their amazing discoveries cool facts and she's so excited and starry eyed and hopeful#she genuinely just wants to educate people and has so much hope that we can make the world a better place#also like idk maybe unrelated but i saw the mv of new romantics and just. wow#say what you will about her but there's no doubt she's made an insane number of people happy SO HAPPY that they're crying#so many tours#idk i want#i wish my life was bigger#i feel so isolated and always just focusing on myself my career my health my enjoyment#what about everything everyone else#i keep trying to be completely okay with being alone i keep telling myself to not need anyone and be 100% independent#find happiness within hobbies interests#but it feels like a losing battle#i don't know i just. miss everyone 😭😭😭😭#but it hurts too much tbh always more sad than happy always more crying than laughing#i miss my bestfriend i don't know what i did wrong but she won't pick up my call she keeps saying she's busy#i don't want to be clingy because she hates that shit i don't want to drive her away but she's my only friend#i miss my fucking mom she doesn't care if i live or die obviously but i miss just having her presence in the house#and even tho my sister is here she's never fully present always on her laptop working#i wouldn't really say i miss my dad but wow it's been so long since mom and dad stayed together at home it was almost#always miserable but sometimes at the lunch table it was nice#i don't know everything and everyone is moving and changing so fast and i can't breathe under it and it's already september#but this entire year felt like a blur it's like everyone who left took a chunk of my heart with them#and i should be happy because im so close to the exam which will get me out of this house finally be financially independent#like i wanted since i was 11 i could finally start my life#but it all feels so. i don't know the whole future seems black like i can't imagine life past november 2025#how do you imagine happiness if you've never been happy?#and all these feelings are making it so hard to study and studying is so fucking important because if i don't ill be stuck here forever#and i don't want to go thru attempts fail and pass again atleast back then i had a reason first heartbreak‚ not getting to go to college#but what now why now i don't even understand i know objectively i do not have it that bad it's literally better even if i compare to my own
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#look obviously this is not my fucking moment hence why this is an in the tags post#but. man.#'my heart hurts' is a phrase that was thrown around a lot by the adults in my life when I was growing up#& a lot of the time it was in reference to some real bullshit so I never really thought about it except to roll my eyes#but god my heart hurts#it makes me feel like a little kid wondering why it has to be so hard to help people#to know the names and faces and stories of so many people suffering & to be able to do so little to help#one person mentioned their grandfather was martyred & it hit me like a brick#my grandfather is so important to me & I know he'll die one day & probably relatively soon#but to imagine losing him to violence??? to hate????? it makes me fucking sick#I just can't understand it I can't make sense of it#feels like watching an older kid kill a baby bird for no reason except on a scale of tens of thousands#they're just people. just human fucking beings. familes & friends & communities & there is no fucking difference between us & them#like I know it sounds all john lennon or whatever but genuinely there is no meaningful difference between me & a 25y/o palestinian woman#I could know her. I could love her. people do know & love her.#the people of gaza don't deserve this. they didn't do anything to deserve this. no one *could* deserve this.#I’m so filled with grief and rage and I couldn't be further removed from the actual horror of it all#again. this is not my moment & I know that. but it hurts so badly I just needed to get it out.#please help if you can. donate to fundraisers if you can. promote them if you can't. stand up for palestine irl.
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#Howwwww is it 5am already I want to go home#I begged my parents and sibling to let me go home to my own bed and they wouldn't let me#I don't want to be the solution to our family problems I want to go be alone and not here#I understand me being around more would make our parents nicer and give my siblings someome sane to talk to#But I want to die and I don't want to be here and I don't care about any of these people#Once again them forcing me to go to their house made me miss an assignment. So that class is genuinely failed now.#It makes me so frustrated I could cry. Every time I say I'm doing school work#Or say I can't drop everything and drive forty minutes to their house. they laugh at me#They genuinely laugh and say I'm such a liar and I'm faking and there's no way I ever do any school work#I'm actually shaking I'm so frustrated they don't understand. That's how long it takes me.#Why can't they just realize I'm a dumbass fucking idiot. I'm so fucking stupid#I'm literally so stupid. Intellectually I'm a fucking idiot and I am so useless and slow.#Stop trying to believe I have potential to fucking waste#The fact is there is no potential but I'm fucking wasting anyway#I'm so. Dumb. When I say I'm doing school work I mean I looked at the tab and got nervous about how overdue#everything is and how I'm failing and everyone wants me to leave my safety for their own inane bullshit#I wouldn't be failing this class at all if I had been able to complete the first week on time#instead of like. sitting outside a convention center alone and in agony for Five (5) hours.#Kudos to the devil for creating the exact perfect circumstances to kill me in particular#I should reach out and go to a friend's house and it would be good for me. But.#There's no way I'm going to see or speak to anyone in this state of everything#Everyone else around me seems to have improved in mental health I'm not going to ruin that by making them let me come over#No one really believes any of the problems I have like even I don't. how are you that stupid. just stop having these problems.#I can't go to a friend's house when I have problems like this. Last time I had a breakdown and scared the fucking host and#their partner had to be the one to comfort me because I was crying too loud for autistic ears :(#I can't do that to anyone again#I'm not kidding when I say I'm a huge burden genuinely I exist to be upsetting and inconvenient and frustrating#I am literally the most selfish person to ever have existed. Just objectively. I don't care about anyone or anything at all.#I don't love my friends or my family and I don't care about what they want or need. truthfully.#I just want to sit in my tiny room where nothing changes and no one expects me to drive anywhere holy fucking shit it's 6am
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#a dot original#pretty sure everyone i know is tired of hearing about my medical bullshit so instead im going to talk on my infinitely more public tumblr#god i didn't realize. how fucking much having a period affected me#in an incredibly bad way#like. there was always that sense of dread. doing everything on a time limit before my body decided to try to turn itself inside out#and wreak havoc on my mental state#and yeah the first few months of bc were INCREDIBLY BAD and i never want to go through that again but#god i can't go back to having periods again. not now that i know there's another option#i want this poisonous fucking organ ripped out of my body#and now that i have to take a break from bc i am so fucking terrified that when i start it again i'll have three more months of hell#and like. if i do that again i will die. genuinely. i can't do that again. but.#i dont think i can live with periods for the rest of my life either ghdjfjdjvjdjvjdk.
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it's incredibly hard not to despair over all of this ngl
#i've been doing really bad in the last 2ish weeks#almost as if i'm having pms symptoms kinda#but usually they go away after a few days. certainly not stick for over a week#this is like how it was before i was on t. without the bleeding ig#(physical stuff also stand bc i feel so extra tired and my whole body hurts constantly)#and all the shit going on in real life isn't helping. both on a global scale and in my personal life#i don't want to exist genuinely i can't be left with my thoughts for even a second or i start spiraling#i don't want to sleep or take a break i want to just. stop. stop thinking. stop existing. i want to die bc it feels like the only choice#but ig i gotta wake up at 7 am and drive for an hour and walk up the hill again instead#and then be active until 6 pm. i'm already exhausted just thinking abt all this ngl#i wanna die i can't do this shit anymore i should've died 13 years ago. why even bother trying to live#vent#negative //#suicide //#ask to tag#sorry. sorry
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I've been trying to get this fucking degree for 7 years, suffering basically nonstop, taking part in all my classes, even taking extra ones, I think at this point I more than deserve them just giving me my bachelor's. I've done ENOUGH.
#lily talks#it has been a day#Have what might be my last exam ever on Friday and ahahahhah#I only got one attempt to pass it or I'll have to do an oral one and I would much rather die than do that#And I've put myself through almost 2 weeks of suffering from being unable to do basically anything other than lie in bed and stare at the#ceiling bc I am so stressed but enemy number 1 aka my brain refuses to let me sit down to properly study but at the same time i'm not#Allowed to do anything else because I'm not studying like I should be and I just am miserable#Anyway I've been a mess this entire time and NOW 2 fucking days before the exam the professor announces there will be another date in late#To take it instead#COULD YOU HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS ANY EARLIER??????????#I am so tempted to switch the date because I barely studied and I feel like shit but i already suffered so much for this and then I would#Just have to do it all again#But I really can't afford to mess it up either bc I don't think I would recover from that. Genuinely.#I am so unbelievably done with all of this. The degree. uni. Constant stupid pressure from everyone about when I will finally be done.#Not even daring to think about the financial aspect because I would just cry#I feel so dumb for having a meltdown before any test situation I ever found myself in because you would expect that AT SOEM POINT my brain#That at some point I would learn to deal with it and cope somehow#Unfortunately I'm starting to doubt that this is going to happen in this lifetime
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cellbit stuck on a costumer service job post prison and having not great therapy and being like ugh. ugh. trying to 'make it up to people' and get better while not disclosing he's done actual murders because he would not be free if he did. He roomed with Felps for a bit but then he found this very cheap place to live in and he just got that job and he knew Felps is not taking him changing seriously and was probably still doing bad shit that could get him in trouble. And he does want to keep having the somehow friendly relationship he has with Pac and Mike now, so.
He goes to check it out, and it's cheap it's very small but he's lived in worse places. If he feels there's something off about the residents and if the meat they cook tastes just like human flesh that's surely his own imagination right? if his hot new neighbour Roier sometimes has an odd look on his face or says strange things that's probably Cellbit projecting that he somehow knows about his past and is seeing right through him, RIGHT?
#sfh AU#WATCH STRANGERS FROM HELL PLS PLS PLS PLS#i thnk pac and mike and cellbit first meet up again bc they run into each other and have a solidarity moment of being runaways who had to#build everything back up and Pac had been feeling guilty about cellbit 'dying' too. and also cellbit had found a baby kitty and was taking#care of it and i think this makes both of them surprised idk there's some kind of richas equivalent that makes them think he is trying.#but anyway i won't derail into those sorry i am celltw at heart always#cellbit being made much worse by the job and then the house#only able to self soothe by having murder fantasies: I'M SO NORMAL I'M SO NORMAL I'M SO NORMAL#evil hot roier: ;)#(prev description applies to the MC of sfh I'm telling you get on this show)#i think the way to do this is that cellbit thinks having people who care for you and comitting atrocities are exclusory (which they are for#normal people)#so in prison he didn't 'want' or need anybody but almost dying made him realize he was lonely and he did want people and he was genuinely#hurt by tazercraft's betrayal etc. but he can't be himself and have that. so he starts to control himself and focus on trying at having a#normal life bc maybe he just never got a chance at it and maybe he'll be happy with it. but he's not fully#and roier's gonna show him you can have a ride or die while still being a serial killer who liks to eat people. love is love etc#they still keep up with tazercraft after. maybe at some point they find out but they get them to see that they're family now and that#Cellbit & Roier wouldn't hurt them specifically which imo I think they'd be ok with mostly#bagi's not in this bc i don't know how to have her there without . her getting hurt. maybe they meet her later after they're a thing#like in canon#i also think the idea of cellbit writing crime novels starting as a way to control himself but wth help from sugar daddy roier doing more#and being successful bc he 'really gets into the mind of the killers' is . lol.
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