#and like this is never going to end
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Another night spent laying in bed crying. Rip me.
#I was scrolling through Instagram reels#because it accidentally got pressed#anyway then it was one of those post reels now things#and it was all pictures of Cat Face#and so now I’m sobbing in bed#I don’t think you all understand how much this kills me#I literally don’t know how much more of this I can take#I feel so hopeless#and like this is never going to end#I need her so badly#and I just want to scream#but my room is between the kiddos rooms#so instead I’m#silently sobbing and shaking#this is too much
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The thing I keep coming back to, with all the *gestures expansively* is that real life doesn't have peaceful epilogues.
Every single win has to be defended. Forever. I'm sorry. It sucks. The Nazis lost until they stopped losing. The US had abortion rights, and then 50 years later it didn't. Empires fall, and then they invade other countries again. Oppressive regimes are overthrown and replaced with other oppressive regimes. You will never finish the work etc etc etc. Which is why it's so fucking important to be able to acknowledge and celebrate progress, when it happens. The people who came before you didn't put in all that work for nothing, and you aren't, either. You can't save it all for the Ultimate Victory because there is never going to be an Ultimate Victory. There's no such thing as a time when everything is good, and ours shall not be the commune of Heaven.
#rambling#like by all means always push for more#but man you gotta be able to note the small victories too#and you have to be able to step away for a bit when you need to because there's never going to be an Ultimate End#op
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Take It Easy☀️
#haikyuu#hinata shouyou#haikyuu fanart#anime fanart#fanart#madsart#digital art#anime#I just finished the Haikyuu manga#good god#what am I supposed to do now????#go work for all my hopes and dreams?????#literally the best manga ever#I’ve never felt so alive#so happy#I cried like 7 times#just between the nekoma match and the end#god#so good#a masterpiece#I’m so very proud of Hinata my baby
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#p5r#persona 5 protagonist#akechi goro#IM FREEEE IM FREEE IM FREEEEE#IT ONLY TOOK 24 HOURS AND THEN SOME AND 2 MONTHS OF SANITY!!!!!!#im never drawing anything like this again ill be going bsck to 3/4 bust up 0 backgrounds.#persona 5#shuake#ANYWAY. listened to a lot of picture you by chapp3ll roan while drawing this…#and like the correlation isnt there but i think abt all the mutual things….joker bringing rival up twice and akechi being shocked#my art#doodle#doodles#and the way at the end akc thinks that joker wished him back because of pity 😔#do you picture me like i picture you am i in the frame of your point of view…#joker being the only person akc trusts and relies on but is it the same….is it all just pity…..#ANYWAYYYYYYY my sanity! gone! i have to go study for my test now and alllll my hw and honey im home day art
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Tubbo: Why have they changed it? These colors are awful. I– ew! I actually hate it! Where– what happened to the orange? Why’s it purple?
Tubbo: [Realizes] OH—
Tubbo: Oh, I'm actually– I'm actually a bigot, it’s Ace Race, I get it. Ohhh, ohhh that’s awkward. Ohhh, that's awkward. I’m a bigot. Oh, I'm a bigot. Oh, I'm a bigot. Ohhh. It’s crazy that they let bigots into MCC these days! Well actually, they’ve always done that.
#Tubbo#MCC#MCC Pride#June 1 2024#THE WAY I SCREAMED????#This is one of those rare times where I see a clip on Twitter and go#''haha that's funny I should fast forward to that part of the VOD''#and then the ending hit me like an 18 wheeler#I've never clipped something so fast in my life#Sorry for the 3 days late MCC clip I was touching grass this weekend#Anyways. Funniest possible comment he could've made#He's so real for that
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sometimes i randomly remember how insane maggie stiefvater was for making ronan lynch—a man that can create reality—a man of god, when he himself is a god of a man. then to take this man and have him be not only in love with, but a literal soulmate of a man named adam. parrish. adam parrish. who, mind you, lives above ronan's very own place of worship. and is the namesake of the first of mankind that the bible says god made from the literal dust of the ground (adam parrish: comes from nothing, hair "dusty" in color) and appoints him to care for the garden of eden (adam parrish: sacrifices himself to ronan's sentient forest). then has adam viewing ronan as a god and ronan saying "maybe he dreamt (created)" adam???? like who just fucking writes that and goes about their life?
#if i think about them too long i start going actually insane#maggie pay for my therapy bills please#me and my ignored religious trauma are literally have never been able to handle it#the raven cycle#pynch#ronan lynch#adam parrish#and the fact that i read the series pretty soon after i realized that pretending i believed in god was doing more harm than good and left#i was still a kid and had very bad undiagnosed ocd that made my implusive thoughts surrounding hell and eternal damnation and the end days#and it terrified me so much as a queer trans kid to realize i didnt believe but still had thoughts of that in my head and then to read this#series like a year or 2 later was brain altering for me#anyways where was i going with this#ahahahha#im having a moment#adam's last name is pretty self explanatory too like....miss girl
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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Learning to internalize the message above, but art is in all of our bones. If you feel afraid to create art because it won't be "good enough," it's worth it to explore why you feel that fear. Creating art is one of the basic impulses of people, and if you want to create art, then you absolutely must.
#art#positivity#described images#image description in alt#i'm like 80% sure that's a lynx but i've never seen one irl#i'm going to weld this meme into my brain as i start crochet#maybe i have seen a lynx at the zoo actually. but that's beside the point and i haven't been to a zoo in years (sad!)#the zoos in my state are actually from what i understand VERY high-end and VERY good with their animals#which definitely makes me more willing to support them <3#i have been informed this is not a lynx btw#IN MY DEFENSE they look similar#thank GD tumblr unlike twitter lets you edit alt text. staff was real af for that (rare compliment i have for staff)
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Seal Force 141
based on this
#warm up#the seals all looked like they were rudely woken up LMFAO#fat seal price <3#also I gave Price a tiny hat cuz i didnt want the hat to block soap#slowly going thru my to draw tags#sorry if i never draw it out in end cuz either i tried and failed or i lost interest lmao#gummmyart#doodle#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#task force 141#seal force 141#tf141
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dont worry about it au kuafu and yi
#nine sols#mak's art#fan art#kuafyi#sun chasers#yi nine sols#nine sols kuafu#9s dont worry about it ending! au#nine sols shuanshuan#nine sols shennong#i actually like them mostly platonically theyre like besties but theres also a little definitely Something Going On there too. to me.#queerplatonic even if you will#i love kuafu so much i kiss him on the nose#kuafyi nation where you at#i saw a poll with kuafyi ship names and i know sunshot won but sun chasers is SO GOOD so im using that#THEY ARE BOTH CHASING SUNS ONE WILL TAKE DOWN HIS OWN AND THE OTHER WILL NEVER CATCH HIS BECAUSE OF THIS DO YOU SEE THE VISION
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None of our hands are clean
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangshan#mianmian#The secret meaning behind one of the jin members scuttling off is:#I couldn't make three people work out in the remaining panels and per my rule of '3 attempts and take a different approach' he had to go.#Sometimes there are meaningful reasons why something happens in the background. And sometimes it is like this.#Let's just say he saw what was about to happen and got out of there before mianmian started throwing hands.#Okay no more delay. The sheer boldness to call WWX a killer in a room full of people who wear their war body count as a badge...#It's about hypocrisy yes - but it is also about how the narrative shifts on the same action depending on the frame.#Because at the end of the day...the blood on our hands is still blood on our hands.#Both the deaths on the battlefield and the deaths of the Jin's abusing the Wen remnants are still deaths caused by another.#They are also deaths that - depending who holds the frame - are noble acts to protect others.#But it isn't supposed to be about who was right and who was wrong.#It is about the need to be seen as the victim to avoid culpability.#Because if you aren't responsible you don't have to be held accountable. You don't have to grow or change.#If someone takes all the blame then there is no need to reflect on your own faults.#We have to protect our fragile ego from the mirror lest it shatter and we have to remake it anew.#Horrifically enough...even if WWX spared the Jin guards or even never ran into Wen Qing#He wouldn't have been able to escape being the scapegoat. He downfall was set into motion a long time ago.#My goodness...What a deliciously tragic story Wei Wuxian's first life was.
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mourning black and the death of ideals
#i haven't moved on from this yet. btw. i'm still here#finally decided to draw the thought i've been ruminating over for days on end bc it's like a parasite eating away my brain#stated this on the initial post i made days ago but there's just smt so gut wrenching and sickening#about how dazai will have worn black exactly twice in his life: once as a member of the mafia and now at kunikida's funeral#a color that initially signified devotion to the mafia and his demon prodigy alias now signifies his grief#him having to wear black again at the funeral of another doomed fatalist who chose his heart over his survival. his own partner.#kunikida's death being so reminiscent of the tragedy that initially caused him to defect and flee#and everything tying together full circle and effectively breaking him#asagiri rly said fuck knkdz it's doppover we lost gang 😭😭😭#why did bro leave that fucking notebook behind#fool. do you know that angst potential you have left me to work with?#love never won in bsd. it lay dead and festering#i don't know how much longer i can keep saying i miss them. i'm going to kill myself if he doesn't come back#i've never wanted something to be death bait so desperately#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#(??? technically. its implied anyway)#lotus draws
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its always “we should beat up and kill rapists and abusers!” but the moment someone actually does you all turn on them
#gypsy rose blanchard#amber heard#menendez brothers#lyle menendez#erik menendez#because i am SICK and TIRED of it#its always “why didn’t they fight back?” until they do#you will never understand what it’s like to be a victim of abuse until you are one#so don’t speak on it#and even when they do everything “right”#when they go to police and leave them and keep their distance#they are still victimised and end up dead. just look at nicole brown#anyways fuck johnny depp fuck deedee blanchard and fuck the menendez parents
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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"I'm very good at forgiveness. It's one of my favorite things."
#michael sheen had absolutely NO RIGHT to go that hard#and break me like this#it's all the emotions aziraphale goes through#like he's not even done processing the kiss#it's the anger and the love and the confusion and the disappointment and the heartbreak#and also the guilt at the end#and him covering it all up#i'm really really never going to recover from this#good omens#good omens 2#good omens spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#goodomensedit#my edits#ineffable husbands
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The entire ALBW team
Links about to become Lorules #1 hytopian fabric exporter
#tloz#princess zelda#link#princess hilda#ravio#a link between worlds#triforce heroes#tri force heroes#loz redesigns round 2#art#my art#redesigns#if you couldnt tell from zelda and mi-dna shit talking in their funny page i dont believe in the#-and they never saw each other again- type endings#they have check ins once a year#the guards have no idea whos dating who#but yes moving on#link gets his own ugly scarf#its dimensional portal colored#he also has little birthmarks around his eye#the teeth on the ravio hat are also earrings#hilda gets to be a goth queen#sheerow is listening very intently#he will tell ravio all the gossip later#i do like to think this link takes his black smithing knowledge and his new fashion skills#and starts making some cool custom armor when hes older#i like to think he made hildas collarpiece#heights go link->ravio->zelda->hilda#too many characters for me to worry if that reads or not lmao#funny page may come later
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