#and like it’s subconscious
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but rationally Ik I’m going to be okay even though I feel like both a wilting flower and a black hole rn. Because 6 weeks ago my life was wonderful and I was extremely happy and not much has changed. And in 6 weeks again it will be spring which will utterly revive me. I’ll be okay. Seasonal depression is just so embarrassing
#I think it’s also now my friends are all just far away so I don’t rly get to see anyone#and even if I could I’m so so exhausted cos it’s winter#and I don’t wanna go outside because also. it’s winter#tho recently I saw an cold friend#who I also had a long term involvement with#and despite the fact he’s an absolute sweetheart we don’t have loads to talk about unless we’re fucking ashdjfka#but it was nice nonetheless and we hugged a couple of times which for me is rly nice#cos I have major major issues with touch so i can’t hug most people#basically it’s nice getting a hug from someone u can actually hug#this reminds me I need to invite Greeny over so we can have a lotr extended edition marathon#and have cuddles and lots of popcorn#one of the only other people I feel physically safe with……..#says a lot abt my mother/girl trauma tho#that I feel extremely unsafe emotionally and physically around women#and like it’s subconscious#cos I have friends I love lots and are wonderful but I cannot attach because they are women#so embarrassing only being able to attach to men
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interaction i have with shocking regularity is when someone’s complaining abt someone they know and theyre like “ughh they’re 21 and dont have a job and refuse to learn to drive” and then they remember who they’re talking to (me. 21 cant work cant drive) and go like
#text#‘ur situation is different’ Do u know Their situation enough to say that lol#also like. be srs if u didnt know me ud think the same way abt me. Do u think this abt me subconsciously?? guessing yes#The only person who HASNT made me feel like this and has actually articulated what they meant in a way that didnt feel like a dig#at me was 💫 last night hence why its on my mind
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was thinking abt how anya sleeps by the polle statue. which is motion activated to start talking.
+ i like drawing polle as a Character
#now originally i drew this under the same kind of premise as the animatic i did#in that it Is in reality just a statue but is. subconsciously treated as alive and as it’s cartoon self? if that makes sense#but i was thinking abt what if polle Was alive. a toon put on the tulpar as a shitty morale boosting animal that Isn’t you friend#but i worry this would change too much abt the story. i wouldn’t want to add too much levity/fluff#mouthwashing#the art gallery#polle being a toon instead of a statue kinda cheapens it’s effect probably#like i think it worked In The Little Bit like in the animatic. but not through the whole game#plus also it’d probably really muddy his like. symbolism. of like thr company and the baby#so i do have a couple more doodles but (shrugs worriedly)
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spice tolerance
#adooble art#dkbk#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#mha#izkt#though i think kacchan would be okay to cook less spicy food for izuku#think midoriya would subconsciously build up his spice tolerance because kacchan likes sharing his fave food with him#also i thnk it would be fun if the 1A kids try to eat katsukis regular spicy ramen order and theyd be shocked to see izuku#easily demolishing 3 bowls
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shhhh
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#tortured megumi fr three and a half draws in a row so now he can nap with his bf as a reward#thanks fr always being such a good sport megumi gomennnnnn#it's always a bit jarring going back 2 simple fluffy pieces after weeks of the heavier stuff#bc on one hand it's nice 2 just draw sth cute. but on the other hand i am like what am i supposed 2 Yap abt now!!!#wym they r just cuddling wym there is no Lore#the only thing abt this piece tht digs a bit deeper is th fact tht - unbeknownst 2 me while i ws sketching -#the pose ended up w them in the shape of an anatomically correct heart#patting my subconscious on th back fr that one . itfs heart imagery my beloved#also yuuji Koala itadori the absolute psychopath 100% th type 2 sleep in a hoodie without overheating . poor megumi smh#not only does he have 80kg of Boy practically On him but all th added heavy fabric on top of that#he may look peaceful here but best bet this boy is not getting a full 8 hours#maybe in its own way this too is a hina tortures megumi draws#i think he'll forgive me tho smile. he'll forgive yuuji too
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Someone needs to do an analysis on the way the Kung Fu Panda movies use old-fashioned vs. modern language ("Panda we meet at last"/"Hey how's it going") and old-fashioned vs. modern settings (forbidden-city-esque palaces/modern-ish Chinese restaurant) to indicate class differences in their characters, and how those class differences create underlying tensions and misunderstandings.
#This is neither a criticism nor a compliment of that artistic choice#I just think it's really interesting#Like even looking at the Five:#Tigress talks in an older style than the others because she was mainly raised at the Jade Palace#While Mantis talks like Joe-schmo off the street because he *was* a streetfighter and an ordinary guy#Shifu and even Tai Lung talk like they're from an old-fashioned novel or kung fu movie#Po talks like a modern guy you'd meet working in a twenty-first century family restaurant#Part of Tigress's initial disdain for him in the first movie is clearly because she considers him to be low-class/a commoner#(And therefore an intruder into the world of the Jade Palace and the rest of the Kung Fu masters which appears to be semi-noble).#Shen looks genuinely off-put and disgusted when he has to respond to Po's greeting with a “...hey.”#And when Po wants to appear more legitimate as a warrior he adopts a more “legendary”/old-fashioned way of speaking.#In the aesthetic language of KFP old fashioned=noble/upper class and modern=common/lower class.#This translates entirely naturally—I think especially to an American audience—but it is wild once you notice it#Because you realize: “Hang on—shouldn't *all* these characters be talking like they're living in the medieval era?”#“And what does it mean that they're not? What is the movie attempting to convey with this—probably entirely subconscious—artistic choice?”#kung fu panda
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Party infighting
#dungeon meshi#aj art#chilchuck#tw sa implied#kind of#Also this is meant to be set before the griffin chapter so no one really gets why Senshi is having such a strong reaction lmao#That’s not important I just want people to know#Also it’s not really stated outright but the reason Chilchuck’s party feel so comfortable violating his privacy like that#While they think they’re being reasonable#Is bc Subconsciously they just don’t see him as an adult or even really a person#They didn’t intend to hurt him which is why they also felt so comfortable asking him to rejoin#From their perspective it was just an embarrassing situation#comic#Chilchuck backstory stuff
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Do you have any final theories/desires for Book 7 Part 12?
(slamming fists on table) I DEMAND MORE CHE'NYA
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#to be fair i am always in a state of lowkey wanting more che'nya#let him crash cater's pizza party!!!!#i wanna see cater skateboard up that big ol' tower to slam some za with a neon purple cat#truly this is the most radical dream yet#golly. i do try not to speculate too much but the 3-part split has me VERY intrigued#like yeah it most likely is just because hearts has a lot of boys#so it's probably cater and one of adeuce -> trey and the other adeuce -> riddle#but i am curious what's gonna happen after riddle's dream. because we'll have the party all together#and we gotta segue back into malleus somehow...#man i was wondering if the subchaptering of the subchapters was a one-off or if it was gonna be a consistent thing from here on#i guess we're gonna be getting smaller but more frequent drops from now on?#i am into that (keep up the hype!) but i'm surprised that it'll be happening just...around other events#main story has become unstuck in time and is just floating around the schedule now#we're gonna be locked in battle with cater's subconscious while deuce is over there in a parallel timeline trying on crop tops#makes me wonder what's going on in that production schedule...#lemme see those gantt charts twst
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people who act like batman isn't "judge jury and executioner" because he doesn't kill people are like. genuinely so funny to me because. they're very obviously thinking of "executioner" as like. the stereotypical guy with axe who chops people heads off, and not, yknow, the literal definition of the idiom itself, which is about someone who has the ability to judge and then subsequently punish someone unilaterally. which is quite literally what batman does.
he has the ability to decide what is a "crime" to him, he is the one who decides whether people are guilty of those crimes, and he is the one who executes their punishment. the severity of the punishment doesn't matter - he is unaccountable to anyone else, and indeed is allowed to commit as many crimes as needed to reach his arbitrary ideal of "justice."
the ideal of batman is this: a man who is so fundamentally changed by an act of senseless violence that he takes it upon himself to fight back against the rot and corruption in the world. he does this not through political activism, not through ridding himself of his wealth in favor of a greater good, not through community outreach, but through an individualistic fantasy of being a hero.
and you'll say: charlie, but he does do that !!! he donates his money all the time, he funds social programs, hospitals, orphanages, gets people jobs -
and i will say this: so why don't things get better?
because here's the base of it. gotham, at its core, can't get better. no matter what bruce wayne does, there will always be more crime, more villains, more death, more people for batman to beat up in back alleys. because that's what sells.
reoffending rates don't matter in gotham, prison reform doesn't matter in gotham, what actually causes crime doesn't matter in gotham because that doesn't sell books.
and so here it is; dc has unintentionally created a world where batman can't win, but can't be wrong, and where thousands of nameless, faceless, only-created-to-die civilians must be pushed into the meat grinder that is gotham, to fuel bruce wayne's angst and vindicate his constant, tireless, noble fight against the forces of evil.
and then: a new robin, who is poor and who's parents are dead or gone because of this cycle; who is happy go-lucky and hated by editors and fans for being robin, for not being dick grayson, for being poor.
and this robin is written, unintentionally or not, to be angry at the ways in which batman's (the narrative's) idea of justice is detached from its victims. bruce seems perfectly fine to allow countless unnamed women to be at risk from garzonas in his home country, yet robin is the one who is portrayed as irrational and violent.
this robin is not detached from gotham in the way bruce wayne is: this robin is a product of gotham.
(and here's the thing. you can't punch aids. you can't fight a disease with colorful fights and nifty gadgets. and how would robin dying from aids add to batman's story; it would call into question the systemic changes that haven't been made in gotham. how does a child get aids, in batman's city?)
so robin dies, and then bruce (the narrative) spends the next couple of decades blaming it on him. it is jason's fault; he was reckless, he just ran in, he thought it was all a game. if only bruce had seen what was coming, if only he could have known that jason wasn't rich enough or smart enough or liked enough to be robin.
batman gets a little more violent, a little more self destructive. he hurts people more and almost (!!) kills a couple guys. this is bad because it's self destructive and "not who he is." it is not bad because batman should not be able to just beat people up when he's angry.
and then he gets a shiny new robin - who is all the things jason "wasn't": rich and smart and rational and he doesn't put who batman is into question. batman and robin are partners, and jason is a grave and a cautionary tale, and (crucially here) never right.
the joker kills thousands and it doesn't matter because they were written to be killed.
batman beats up thousands and it doesn't matter because they were written to be criminals.
and then jason comes back, and nothing has changed. there is a batman and a (shiny! rich!) robin and the joker kills thousands. (because it sells)
and jason is angry - he has been left unavenged - his death has meant nothing, just as willis' had, just as catherine's had, just as gloria's had, just as -
thousands. ten of thousands. hundreds of thousands. written to be killed.
but one of them gets to come back.
and he is angry - not only at the joker, but at bruce (the narrative) - because why is the joker still alive (when thousands-)
here is the thing - jason todd is right. not because the death penalty is good, not because criminals deserve to die, not because of everything he says -
but because of what he calls into question. why is the joker alive?
because he sells books.
and dc has written a masterful character, through no fault of their own, because jason knows what is wrong, and he knows who is at fault - batman. (the narrative)
so the argument that bruce can't kill because he's not judge jury and executioner; the argument that jason is a cop or that jason is insane or that jason is in the wrong here; they hold no weight.
batman can't kill the joker because the joker sells comic books.
and jason can't kill the joker because the joker sells comic books.
so he will beg and plead and grovel - he will betray everything that is himself, he will forsake his family and his city and kill himself - just so that bruce (the narrative) will let the joker die.
he was condemned to death by an audience, and after he came back he has spent his whole life looking us in the eyes and screaming, asking, pleading; why is the joker still alive?
why are thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands (the number doesn't matter, see, because they're just a number. not people. not real.) why are we expendable for his story? why did i have to die just for nothing to change?
and the answer is money. and the answer is the batman can never be wrong. and the answer is shitty writing. and the answer is -
nothing jason can ever change.
which is the worst of it all. he is a victim with no power, and no one else in the world can see it. he is raging and crying and screaming at his father and his writers and you - and it doesn't matter. jason doesn't matter. and he knows it.
#yes btw i am saying that jason is subconsciously aware he's a comic book character. being dead for literal decades and then coming back#to a different and yet fundamentally unchanged world will do that to you#this is also a huge reason i have beef with people who equate jason's death with any other persons. like sorry. no#jason *died.* forever. he was dead dead. in heaven dead.#he died in the sense that he was never supposed to come back.#your 'heart stopped' or 'was dead for maybe 3 months irl' literally does. not. compare.#also when i say tim is everything jason isn't; by including smart i don't mean jason wasn't smart#i mean tim is *written* to be explicitly in contrast to jason#and by making him a 'genius' the narrative implies his intelligence is directly in contrast to jason's#therefore implying jason wasn't 'smart'#surprisingly little tim hate in this. am i growing from my hate? (no. i wrote a couple paragraphs but it didn't fit. haters stay strong����)#jason todd#anti batman#red hood#batman meta#batman#anti bruce wayne#bruce wayne
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i see your “bruce wayne laughs in upper class, 100 dollar bills fall from his lips when he chuckles, etc etc” take and i agree wholeheartedly but also i raise you
“bruce who doesn’t really laugh at things out loud like that really, he’s more of a nose exhale, brief grin and intense eye contact conveying his emotions” type of guy but sometimes
something will happen that constitutes, his full on body laugh and when its an instinctual thing it’s so rare that bruce doesn’t have a failsafe for that reflex and the person they’re with just,, stops
because the laugh they’re so used to can’t be compared to this genuine deep, heavy with emotion and feeling laugh that fills his lungs and your soul- and they just wish he would do that all of the time instead of his wooden paparazzi simpering and its something so stark that it throws them for a loop
and idk i just love watching bruce expose layers of himself to those he loves without consciously doing so
#this can be read as platonic or romantic honeslty i just like rice exposing vulnerabilities to the people he love’s subconsciously cause he#trusts them instinctively and that’s a whole can of worms he’s not ready to deal with after a childhood of solitude and isolation#and not matter how many years go by he never really left that moment in the alley#alone - surrounded by the#corpses of his childhood protectors thrust into a position of responsibility he was never meant to be in bjt he took it with honour#i’m on my cassandra is the true gotham#protector agenda again ignore me#dc#batman#bruce wayne#batfam#superbat#batlantern#wonderbat#batcat#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#red hood
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terrisas really funny ithink
#kingdom hearts#kh#my art#image id in alt#kh fanart#Saix#saïx#isa#terra#kh terra#terrisa#Moonrocks#<-? I think people call them that sometimes. I think its cute#Kh saix#kh saïx#kh isa#Not tagging this xemsai because its only a little bit about it. I mean xemsais the joke but ykwim#Ok for real though ive been thinking about them these last few weeks and actually they're really cool 2me#Like theres whole “came back wrong” dynamic since isa remembers everything and terras basically a whole different person#And adding onto that saix and xemnas relationship wasnt exactly. Normal. So i could totally see something like isa-#-subconsciously reverting back to how he acted in kh2 while terras like ‘? You dont have to do that?” And like theyre both AFFECTED by-#-xemnas but in different ways and terra can see how xemnas was through isa and augh#Anyway. This is still an akusai house but i think isa can have an unhealthy one sided attachment to a person he barely knows out of their-#-resemblance to someone he ‘sacrificed himself to’ (kh character files words not mine).#It improves the biodiversity.#terraisa
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Space And Earth Chat
Bruce: Will you watch when the sun swallows the earth? Clark: Bruce, that's in five billion years Bruce: ... Clark: No Bruce: I would Clark: Morbid Bruce. Bruce: I understand why you wouldn't- Clark: I wouldn't becuase I won't let it happen. Bruce: It's physics Clark, you can't stop it. Clark: I can. Bruce: How? You're going to feed it more hydrogen? Clark: Sure, why not. I am a farmer's son.
#Batman#Superman#dc comics#bruce wayne#Clark Kent#DCAU#Bruce can only open up. super late on his back staring up lol. And yes he lays just like Alfred does in my other Late night chat pic#Because he's subconsciously has picked up Alfred's mannerisms#This was originally supposed to be boys on an unfinished skyscraper chit-chatting and then It somehow just got super abstract lol.#the starts of peice has been in my draft for the last 4 years ....#My art#Fanart
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"and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you and the universe said the light you seek is within you and the universe said you are not alone and the universe said you are not separate from every other thing and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code and the universe said I love you because you are love." - End poem, Julian Gough
ho lds. g ently ,,,
#isat#in stars and time#siffrin isat#i might be taking a break from tumblr but that does not save you from me throwing my art at you. also minecraft credits go hard#i shouldve clarified me taking a break is me not checking the phone every 10 to 30 minutes every moment of busy boredom like the freak i am#this goes in line with the way i hc the universe works in isat btw. that it doesnt know any better than you. it just knows you#you make your world#and uhhhhhhhhhhhhh well let me take a look at siffrin's subconscious *flips pages* mhm yep okay. we love paradoxical wants and desires#art#fanart#kitscribbles#isat spoilers#i guess?#oh yeah this counts as my. my isatversery art. i forgor to put that
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Posting a sneak-peak of this now because I'm about to be In The Shit school workload-wise, so this'll take me a while to finish.
Doing some character design exploration/expression sheets for Celestia and Luna. Figuring out Celestia's weird ass anatomy while I'm at it.
#mlp#celestia#fanart#my art#wip#the grand galloping 20s#delete later#look at me fucking smart guy signed up for 4 art classes in one quarter#so now i have 4 concurrent art/film/creative writing projects going on at the same fucking time#taking bets on how fast i burn out#anyways the idea behind the faces is the front face is the surface. it displays whatever emotions celestia intends when she's in control.#the two side faces––sadness and anger––are sides of her she has less control over. i drew all 3 faces active for the exploration#but in reality only 1 is active at a time. the others will either close their eyes or go catatonic like a puppet or doll#the final face on the back of the head is the deep subconscious. every ugly and violent and hateful thought and emotion#that lies buried under the surface. celestia has no control over that side of her. if she ever wakes
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this silly little extra really cements the idea in my head that falin’s chimera form incorporates a cockatoo like marcille’s old pet pipi having been around some growing up they really always used to be covered in feather dander it would feel ridiculous at times
#I feel like since it was marcilles magic that was used to revive her she seeped alot of her emotions into it#even her familiars are birdlike in qualities#she still holds so much emotion after losing pipi and the possible fear of losing falin too manifested subconsciously during her magic?#perhaps ? maybe it’s why she retained those attributes even after sissel transformed her#dungeon meshi
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wanted to practice some more intense angry expressions and what better excuse to further my agenda of giving megumi the emotional catharsis he deserves
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#yall know tht one juuzou panel gjkgdghjkdfhgjkgd#guess what was my ref fr bottom right#i think megumi deserves to scream real guttural at least once#i think it would be good for him and i certainly would not complain to see it#i love stoic emotionally constipated characters dont get me wrong but also like. come on. points at the 'whatever!' scene#he's so GOOD when he gets to be expressive like PLEASE#anyway i once again have to do everything myself in this house when it comes to this kid#so i am treating myself to 4 flavours of angry megu#here we've got a fine selection of enraged ; holding himself back from clocking a mf by a thread ; seething ; and tortured :D#the classic capricorn emotions#real talk tho anger is Hard to draw#also bad fr the state of my skin probably with the way i was subconsciously Making these expressions as i drew#gna give myself wrinkles at 24 i had my brow furrowed so deeply
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