#and like ik a lot of the ppl would not care if every few days I was like hey they/them pls

[yuribalisms]

And like !!!! The thing is with the gender stuff…. If I’m this wary about ever medically transitioning, even if I did come to the conclusion I’m a guy, I’m not sure I’d ever do it. It makes life hard, and if I’m not a hundred percent like “yes I want this it will make me happy” then I’m probably not gonna do it. It would also mean cutting off my mom’s side of the family for good (and while I don’t rlly mind never talking to my mom specifically again, there are quite a few ppl it would upset me to lose that way, all things considered). So Like…. What would be the point in “being out” as a trans guy? Sure my friends would listen but like the world in general? No!!! I might as well just keep saying I’m a lesbian and like ugh. Ugh. I like being a lesbian and I just don’t understand any of this but also am I just clinging so hard to lesbianism because it’s “safer” to me? Like what is the point in any of this my thoughts are just going in circles

[youremyheaven]

when i did his chart reading he came out as Venus dominant. Using his birth time he was venus ascendant,venus sun and jyestha moon.

btw this mars/sun girl sorry for blowing up the box

i was just wondering what is the mars /sun or yang women experience.

because i can relate to alot of the not liking be imposed persuaded on like more yin as mention by claire nakti. Also a bit “good girl” yet not having much of the female gyul naturally like others that do but also wanting to also have it (i do want to be more yin and allow some imposition) but feel unnatural of it and still feel “masculine “.

how is he a venus ascendant if he's jyeshta rising 🤔

i think every human being, regardless of their birth chart has both yin and yang qualities. our circumstances and environment force us to cultivate one or the other more prominently.

i know some girls who grew up with strong father figures (strong does not mean good) who are very docile and "feminine" and others who became very tomboyish & masculine or just very plain ?? (like not masc but they just dress and act plainly bc they think being girly is stupid or whatever) and i know some women who grew up with absent dads who in turn grew up to be the man of the house or in turn became extremely fragile and pliant. it just literally depends on how an individual reacts to their circumstances

THAT said

i think the key to achieving anything is by enacting it

like oh you want to be more feminine?

then do things that someone feminine would do, think about their behaviours, mannerisms, lifestyle etc and EMBODY IT

observe someone u consider "feminine" closely and make a list of their qualities and try to adapt it to ur life.

its also important to consider the CORE "feminine" traits and not just the SUPERFICIAL ones

core "feminine" traits: being kind, being warm, being nurturing, being attentive, being focused, not being bitchy or too gossip-y, taking care of one self in a way that requires discipline and not indulgence (the go to bed early type of self care vs the spend 9387474 dollars on unnecessary products type of self care)

SUPERFICIAL feminine traits: speaking slowly (by slow i mean slower than the tiktok speed of talking), being polite (without the core qualities, faux politeness means nothing, ik some polite bitches), dressing "modestly" etc

WHAT FEMININTY ISNT:

being submissive or a doormat (these things are not one and the same but ppl often assume it is)

being a PEOPLE PLEASER

being a GIVER 24/7

not having any boundaries and being everyone's unpaid therapist

FEW TIPS ON BEING FEMININE

Wear girly clothes. obviously this depends on your style and what you feel comfortable with

if u feel comfy wearing skirts and dresses do that. nobody is going to be in the mood to wear the same thing every single day so sometimes if u feel like wearing something that isnt "girly" thats fine???

even if u are wearing trousers or jeans, by adding a cute top, some accessories and lipstick, u can make it more "feminine"

femininity is about grace as much as it is about being "put together", u can wear really basic clothes but HOW u carry yourself makes as much of a difference as the clothes u wear. sit with ur legs crossed, walk briskly but with your hips, be confident but not cocky, be kind. dont be in a rush all the time. act with purpose and intention.

2. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

when a woman (or anyone) takes care of herself, its very apparent because she looks radiant and confident. others are less likely to talk down to you or treat you poorly if u look like someone who invests in themselves

i wouldnt call this pretty privilege just "put together privilege". brush your hair, iron your clothes, put some lipstick on, wear clean clothes and carry a decent bag. EVERYBODY would be judgemental of someone who walks in with bad breath, body odour, frizzy hair and an unkempt appearance and i realize that it takes a lot of privilege to devote time, energy and resources to your physical upkeep but i feel like some things are really basic and essential

my grandad was often times realllyyy poor but he always wore white on white (he was a small time politican and politicans in india often wear white) and his clothes were starched, ironed and sparkling. he was always fresh out of the shower and combed his hair down. it was uncommon back then but he always dyed his gray hair black and until the day he died nobody ever saw him with gray hair. no matter ur situation, there are things u can do to look "put together" is what im tryna say here

we subconsciously respect people who look put together bc we subconsciously sense the effort they make to look put together

3. BE SMART AND GET THE JOB DONE

being pretty, being charming etc can get u noticed. people often want to work with people who are likeable and easy going (duh) but if u are horrible at what u do, ur personality and looks can only make up for so much

u have to be GOOD at whatever it is that u do. make an effort to learn, be resourceful, be smart, get things done. dont just bank on ur face card and flirting skills

intelligence also extends to what to say to whom and when and where

dont suffer fools and dont waste ur energy unnecessarily. if ur smart, u should respect urself enough to leave people, places and situations that are beneath u

i say this bc a lot of ppl literally think being feminine means acting dumb or like a helpless little girl 🤮🤮🤢 DONT ACT STUPID AND DONT DUMB YOURSELF DOWN

[elis-blawg222]

November 2 - Saturday

This day my friend was staying until we had to go to work. When I woke up I really wanted to make some pancakes. I'd been wanting to make them for a few days- or a banana bread loaf- but I didn't know what to do with whatever I made since I didn't want to eat them. Sooo, I figured I'd cease the opportunity to make her some pancakes. I didn't think that it would make so many though, and tried to give as many as I could away.

It was a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed it! Everyone complimented them too and it made me really happy.

Despite it being a good morning, my afternoon was not so great. I did go to work, but ended up leaving before my shift was over.. teehee. I didn't want to go home, so instead I went to the park near my house. It was pretty late and it was cold, but it was peaceful since there was no one else there. I didn't get a lot of steps in at all, but likeee... cut me some slack ok.

I was missing Angel so so terribly this day also omg it was insane (this is every day let's be real). The whole day I was just hoping we'd get to call. Genuinely our calls heal a part of my brain, it's unreal. We didn't get to though, since I was with my friend the whole day.

Anywho, when I finally got home I made my dinner- or well, I was in the process, but then my dad called me. He asked me to go get him and take him home, which kinda had made sense to me because of some other stuff so I thought it was fine. Plus, I thought he was sober. Usually if he's been drinking I just ignore him because there's just no point lol. So I was about half way through making my meal when I went to get him. The plan was that when I got back, my food would be ready, but that's so not how it went.

In short, I got to where he was and he was drinking (not drunk yet though) and he ended up embarrassing me in front of his friends (who he also called 'family' ... mrs girl idfk them ppl). He was talking about how I was losing weight and he made me stand up in front of all of them... also they have a daughter and she was there and she goes to my school... Then he was talking about how my mom thought I was on drugs (bc I was losing weight). IN FRONT OF THE GIRL. OK.

I ended up leaving without him.. LOL and then when I got home I went to eat it in my room and literally part of the way through it I paused for a sh sesh LMFAO.

Desc: zucchini, yellow squash, cauliflower rice, strawberry pocky.

Total Cals: 568

My friend actually bought me a bunch of stuff because I was feeling so upset and stuff. She bought me a kuromi figure, a little kuromi plushie, a dinosaur sticker, the strawberry pocky in the picture, chocolate pocky, and ghirardelli peppermint bark squares. In conclusion, she's trying to make me fat. Fat as fuck. But no I really appreciated it to be honest, and she even texted me like talking about how she was there for me which made me feel kinda bad bc like... honestly I was shit talking her. But that's only because I felt like she didn't care about me, but now ik she does so it's fineeeee, she doesn't have to know.......

I only got 3.4k steps butttt

yes

Oki, byeeee!! <3

[v1trum]

I've been reading lots of whump stuff cus I love it (in a writer way I'm not a freak) and the only characters ik well enough to write this way are tua characters. Only characters I have truly analyzed for probably hundreds of hours. Can't figure out who I wanna write.......

Comic five and Netflix five are very different... There wasn't any crafting of five during his time at the commission in the show, so I assume he didn't go through like. A bunch of pain.

He's probably gotten hella hurt in his 45 years in the apocalypse like . Spraining his ankle a week after getting there and having to deal with that w no medical care (this is sparking it's own fic helpme I love writing ppl spraining their ankles ig???) . Also there's hargreeves' whole tattoo thing making it clear he would make them withstand pain even when they were young so they could withstand it as adults.

So clearly he (and everyone else) have high pain tolerances, but most of them haven't experienced like fully on torture.

Luther got his entire body changed after getting hella hurt in a mission but like he was asleep during a nerve crippling transformation so he'd probably be easy ASF to break, but also, sorry Luther, I don't really wanna write a fic abt him 😭

Diego got shot and didn't gaf, same with getting two fingers chopped off, so clearly his pain tolerance is one of the larger ones and again, LOVE Diego but I kind wanna write a fic abt five or Klaus not any of the others cus I'm BIASED 😭

Allison knows EMOTIONAL pain all too well, but I feel like she probably 'rumor'ed things into not hurting lots of times so she probably doesn't have a crazy high pain tolerance. There was her getting her throat slit but that whole ordeal with how she acted was more "I can't believe I just got my throat slit and I'm gonna die now, also I can't talk" ,not being in multiple different forms of pain all at once. (Not Including emotional pain. I mean like multiple wounds)

Klaus. KLAUS. I reallyyy wanna break him bc he got tortured by cha-cha and hazel and literally didn't give two shits. He also was at war for 10 months I imagine he got some pretty hefty injuries during that. He also has multiple tattoos.

But with cha-cha and hazel I don't feel like they were very creative?? Maybe I'm just a little excessive when it comes to thinking of dif torture methods for characters but like. A few cuts, punches, and waterboarding?? They were in a hotel room so they were limited but holy hell I wanna write him actually getting taken back to the commission and to the torture department (we all know its gotta exist. It's the fucking commision) and getting ACTUALLY dug into. Time doesn't exist at the commission so employees don't age -- but you can very well die there.(As we know from fives little killing sprees with grenades ♥️). Head canon the torture section has like specific rooms where time is so fucked you can be tortured past the point of death but instead of dying you stay in that pain until you heal. (Makes no sense, but plot purposes, ok? 😭). Imagine a character (Klaus in this instance) staying in that terrible amount of pain for days, weeks, months until they heal and they're fresh to be cut right back into. After a while (several months, years for the character [Klaus] bc he was shoved in that room to heal for periods of time every day [commission time, not in-the-room time] to heal until they dug back into him the next day) they realize he genuinely doesn't have the information they want so they throw him on the doorstep of the academy. They would have thrown him there on the brink of death and not given a damn if he died but they were only a teensy but into their torture session when they gave up after months and tossed him on those steps. (Again, plot purposes, I don't want him dying so let's just say he wasn't on the brink of death just mildly injured when they tossed him on the doorstep)

But also I propose another fic where they keep him and have him brainwashed kinda and is forced to be back around his siblings without them knowing anything that happened to him to get information for the commission. If he tells them he's immediately killed but if he even unintentionally says something wrong he's shot with pain through some device they have on/in him so they have control of him like a damn dog with a shock collar . Anyways

So I'm thinking abt writing one of those OR.

Five. Would love to break him as well.

Same circumstances (almost) as Klaus except this is before he ever got back to his family. I also present: this is before he's old. I mean he can be 13 or 25 idc just younger. I'd actually really love to write it as him but like 16. And the commission takes him and has him doing all these things(assassinations and such). But they also like. Experiment?? On him? Like incorporating the whole every assassins genes thing from the comics but more in depth and with my own twist(s). Lets say they have a device that erases what happened to someones body , or parts of it, however much they want (except, for plot purposes five still remembers cus he has time traveling powers that somehow collide with the device making him still remember, but his body is rewound. Makes absolutely no sense but again, plot purposes.) that way they can experiment as much as they'd like without him just being that way permanently or dying. Example; extremely exaggerated like. Body mods? Like seeing what chopping his damn limbs off and giving him crazy cyborg limbs would do. If he would be an even better assassin if he was that way (he would. Obviously)

But I really wanna write him like not breaking at all until they start pulling at the "just one more test and we'll let you see your family" but what he doesn't know (at the time) is that 90% of the time they don't and when they DO it's not him being let free it's them showing him his siblings during their worst moments and him thinking their lives are just terrible and it's his fault and he shouldn't even save them he should listen to the commission and let the apocalypse happen and and and yeah

Okay guys... Erm...h... Also hope I don't get into another car wreck for writing some fanfics (I love milking that LMAO)

[fairycosmos]

I'm sorry to do this bc I know you get so many ppl venting and you have your own shit to deal with and yet ppl on here constantly implicitly ask you to console them which is incredibly emotionally labour intensive. However all that being said. I found out my cat who is 9 but is very young looking and active and shows no sign of pain or suffering has large cell lymphoma (general prognosis 6-9 months) and I'm literally broken. She's my best friend. I've been through years where I've had no friends but I've always had her and she's everything to me and I've known a lot of cats who live to late teens so I had expected that for her and this has come out of nowhere and is just so soul destroying because she is my whole world and I love her so so much. she's literally saved my life (have been at the point of kms so many times but didn't for her) and now she probably wont be here next year and I don't know how to keep existing without her and I didn't know who else to tell. I really appreciate your kind and honest presence on this site it's very cleansing and healing and ik this is a parasocial thing to say/feel but you are like a friend to so many. so thanks. even just having a space to say this stuff is invaluable. You have helped and comforted and offered love and insight to so many people despite your own suffering. Much love to you, I hope the universe treats you with lots of kindness going forward.

i am so so sorry to hear this - sometimes i honestly can't believe how cruel life can be. i wish there was something tangible i could say that would make a change to what you're feeling but my experience with grief (all types of grief esp preemptive grief like what you're dealing with) has proven to me that words often ring hollow when you're going through it. i do want to offer some understanding and some comfort despite that, i just know it may be hard for you to register right now and that's alright. losing a pet is so so deeply painful and it's completely normal to be devastated and taken aback by this news - anyone would be. at the same time it sounds like your cat is deeply lucky to have you and to be loved so completely by someone. while what you're both going through is horrific, i am so glad she has you to take care of her and that she ended up having a wonderful life with you - the gift you have given her and continue to give her every day just by being her owner is huge and i hope you continue to remind yourself that as you confront there next few months. she is warm and fed and taken care of and she has the best chance of living longer with her condition bc of the care and love you continue to show her. i know this is much much easier said than done but please try to take it one day at a time and make every moment count with her - it's easy to get lost in the idea of losing her but she is still here and you still have time together, albeit not as much time as you both deserve. i can't stand how much of a gamble of luck everything seems to be and how horrible things happen to ppl and animals who truly deserve so much more - that anger, despair and incredulity still hits me day after day and i feel it very hard on your behalf rn. you have every right in the world to process that sense of feeling like your soul has been destroyed on whatever timeline works for you. as long as you continue to move forward, hour to hour or minute to minute despite it all.

are you able to talk to any friends/family about this? i only ask bc pet loss is one of the hardest things in the world to go through and i think having some sort of super system could make the days feel a little more manageable. if not, please feel free to message me and share updates, stories, vents etc about your cat and how you're doing - i lost my childhood dog a few yrs back and i do understand. it's such a heavy feeling to carry around with you all the time. i would also recommend joining a pet loss support group as another option too, bc so so many people sadly completely get what youre going through. i hope your little girl is doing OK today and that you are taking care of yourself as much as you feel able to as you process this news. if you need to break down, go to sleep, scream, punch pillows, be numb - that's alright. there's no wrong way to react to this. i just hope you give yourself some grace as you do. sending so so much love to you both - and thank you so much for the insanely kind words by the way. you didn't have to say that and it really made my night better that you did. so sorry you're in this position. X

[novy2sirius]

thats why i hate social media ik the irony of saying that online but ppl have normalised social media reliance so its not like we can escape it anymore.

i used to follow many tarot blogs but a lot of them either kept giving snarky replies or generic rudeness that or anons would keep overreacting to other anons and it felt more pointless than anything tbh, even if the question was quite reasonable and inoffensive or polite. that or tarot blogs i liked have been deleted due to some not nice reason or other (drama usually).

if time machines exist please can i take one? theres a few nice blogs but theyre harder to come by these days it just seems to be about popularity than actual decent interactions online for anything. every site has either turned into a pile of horseshit to use or its become that way overtime. i just want society to be somewhat normal again cause this feels like some bad fever dream that we have had to experience so far and no ones woken up from it. yet every time shit just seems to be getting weirder and weirder, im torn between being so bored of modern day society and needing something to read or watch constantly so i dont die of sheer boredom yet not caring deep enough for half the stuff online bc its so flipping boring with a capital B. its like nothing can be truly lively or joyful anymore bc the internet sucks the joy out of it, that or things often seem to be taken too literally or seriously.

u r so right. i feel like the covid lockdown is a huge part of the toxic change that was made on social media within the past 5 ish years. ppl were in their houses for so long they got bored and became these insanely judgmental and critical ppl. sure there was already toxic ppl, that’s life, but now it’s become 10x worse than it’s literally ever been before. i didn’t intend to say i hated the entire astro community tho. there’s nice ppl. the more popular ones tend to be meaner tho. no different than school

[fiendishartist2]

Care to share your transfem Milhouse headcanons?

😼😼😼😼😼 why yes i can

okay so like, i havent thought about her in a bit bc of school and astroboy taking up space in my brain, but heres a few random ones i remember:

-she looks a lot like her mom, esp after transitioning. i think this one is just really cute bc i love milhouse's mom and i think her being a "momma's boy" is also kinda important to her character. plus i hate canon wide milhouse hes so scary ToT

-she figures it out pretty young but doesnt come out to anyone but bart until after highschool. i think w the amount that milhouse and bart crossdress for funsies, shes gotta think one time "what if i just did this every day" and then she does. but i think it would be a situation where she only does it at bart's house and only when there's no one around. i like to imagine a scene where bart and milhouse are like 15 and in his treehouse getting drunk and smoking cigarettes and milhouse is like "dude i kinda want to be a woman when i grow up" and bart is like "for real?" and thats the only conversation they have about it

-she changes her name to millie. ik this ones basic and everyone has it but i think its so cute. esp bc her mom calls her that sometimes and she loves her mom

-she and bart have a "will they wont they" that they have no idea about. i think ppl would see them together and be like 🤨🤨🤨 why are you so close..... but theyre literally just besties. i always think about that one gag where barts doppelganger is like 30 and married to woman milhouse and i also think thats really funny. they go off to college as two men who are just really good friends and come back a heterosexual married couple

-lisa lends milhouse her clothes. i imagine one day bart and milhouse are goofing off and steal one of lisa's skirts, but milhouse ends up really liking it and they both silently decide to just keep it in the treehouse for when she comes over. lisa ofc finds out bc she can tell when barts messed w her things and she storms into the treehouse, but when she finds milhouse wearing it and actually looking really happy she thinks its best to let her keep it. after that she turns the other cheek whenever bart finds an excuse to take her clothes (she leaves out the stuff she doesnt like, but milhouse doesnt seem to mind)

-milhouse has a fuck ass bob and loves headbands and similar preppy things, but dresses like its the mid 90s (maxi skirts, long sleeves w square necklines, zip up sweatshirts, open flannels etc.)

i think thats all i have ? its actually more than i thought so sorry if this is too long lol

[sphericalbee]

this is long asf and i know it STARTS w me being like 'i should kms' but im gna spoil it for u all and say that's NOT where it goes lmfao im just dumping out all my thoughts

!! very very rambly, not proofread even once, probably makes no sense and is very cheesy

i wrote a fucking novel holy shit LMFAO no hard feelings if u skip

if i can be kinda depressing for a second i think ab killing myself too much for someone who is basically fine (that might be a lie idk i don't feel like thinking ab it more rn) 😭 like the world just has so many issues i dont wna deal with,,, yk? and it would be so much easier to just move on to whatever's next, bc i KNOW ill have a fuckton of debt in college and have to live through miserable relationships and watch the earth fall apart bc our leaders r so incompetent. even now im living through like 5 genocides, insane global warming, a poverty crisis, inflation, and all of this can be boiled down to greed and hatred

also a lot of kids my age are so horrible for no reason and it's sad to think how many people just absolutely suck ass

but at the same time i won't kill myself bc there are people who i wna make sure get through everything alright, and ik i have good things to live through too

so ive compromised and decided i get to shoot myself in the head when im like 60 if i don't have a wife and the world is still a mess 💀 like i don't wna live longer than i'll enjoy it (lets be reallll global warming will kill us all before i have to do anything anyway)

surprisingly, i got a lot better after reading philosophy books? making sense of the world and appreciating the genius of the philosophers, who were ppl just like me, helps

i feel like ive found so many new ways to think ab and experience the world through philosophy. it's a beautiful part of humanity, trying to understand and having genuine fascination about the way things are and what everything means

good music helps too. yerin baek to fall in love with everything and cry over every single feeling you've ever had ever, universe mongae when that's too much and i have to detach

i listen to universe mongae a lot in class bc my classmates fuckingh SUCKK and she sets me apart from my emotions or feeling lonely when im leaving myself out on purpose bc they're not good people

a few days ago, i was listening to yerin baek as i walked back to school from lunch and the world was suddenly so beautiful and i realised how everyone else has a consciousness and worlds just as real as mine and i fell in love with everyone (by everyone i mean like 30 people)

suddenly i couldn't even care how much i missed out on or the people who i wish loved me more because in the grand scheme of things, im allowed to be careless and love without reciprocation and it won't matter because i hold no more worth than a dragonfly... to have zero expectations for what you could and should feel or be and just enjoy yerin's voice in the moment might be one of the happiest moments i've ever had, honestly

yk whats ironic? it was a love song directed as another person that made me realise i could feel love and not care if i was still no one's favorite. life is beautiful anyway because i can love and make it beautiful on my own

not that my state of 'im fine with loving everyone alone' will last very long. i mean,, im just a mammal LMAO i can't deny my own brain chemistry

even just earlier today i finished the math test earlier and accidentally started thinking ab my childhood. idk why it happened but i did

and i remembered how i was so selfish and couldn't let anyone see i was anything less than perfect

there's one memory where i mispronounced a word and a girl corrected me. and i immediately tried to say, "no i know, but my brother says it that way and i do it too on accident". she called me out, obviously, and i rolled my eyes before whispering "it's true though" in the hope that someone would hear and think "oh she actually knew that"

it's sad to think how i used to be. that's from around 7th grade, i think, so i would've been 11 maybe?

up to a few months ago i would randomly remember that and feel insane anger and hatred for my younger self

it seems so foreign to me now and weird that i could hate a child for being brought up with horrible conditions and lacking emotional maturity. i thought that if i could go back in time i would just look at her and feel bad bc i got so much better since then

maybe even love her idk she's not having fun either 💀 do u think she enjoys holding herself to absolute perfection and looking like a dumbass in front of everyone when that's inevitably impossible??

there was another time that made me so sad to think ab

i got dragged along to my brother's friend's birthday party and some kid did smth rude

and i watched as the kid got chewed out by his mom and then went to apologise to the birthday kid

and the birthday kid just said, so seriously, "I accept your apology"

and i remember thinking smth like 'whoa that's cool id be so embarrassed talking like that'

thinking ab that time (i think i was 12ish maybe) is so crazy. like my parents did such a shit job that i thought i had to be SO ALOOF and above it all that accepting an apology was weak and embarrassing?? jesus i cannot wait to move out 💀 ill send them an email when im gone telling them everything they'd send me back to therapy for

ive been reading too much philosophy, and a lot of that revolves around the meaning of life and how to achieve happiness/catharsis. but i think i have my own conclusion of what it means to be happy even without plato haha

ive never been happier than when i began to forgive and understand myself

it feels like i can live as i want and it's not important. one of my favorite quotes is "i could die tonight and hold no more significance than a dragonfly's death". i wouldn't say im a nihilist but i do like the idea that nothing means anything other than the worlds we have in our minds

it's my mission to make those i care about happy and carve out a good future for myself

ive tried to follow a lifestyle of "i work for my future without ruining my present" but ngl i just ended up anorexic literally three times in the past 5 years 💀 idek what i did wrong like DAMN?? chill tf out hggsdhgfsgd i had a panic attack over eating an extra bit of cheese one time

also fuck my parents for giving me no life skills. raising urself is really hard and you end up with so much internalised bullshit

im honestly so proud of myself for turning everything around after 8th grade

i guess i owe a lot to my classmates for not letting me get away w bullshit and caring ab political issues

it's pretty wild that i cry at movies now when last year i was apathetic all the time

i think i like having feelings? pretty undecided still ngl

i think it's a step up

but i can't even talk to my parents ab how they fucked everything up for me and i had to pull myself out pf the absolute trenchessssss or theyll make me do family therapy and ill end up forgiving them which id rather explode than do

anyway ig my point is if you're having trouble with existence or mental health, pls don't give up on yourself. i promise there's people out there who either love you or will in the future and you just need a few quality coping mechanisms to make it through the day

whether that's antidepressants, the powerpuff girls, philosophy (:33 which it should be), yerin baek (which it also should be), or vent art, find ways to make life liveable until you're ok again. bc you always will be in the end

i probably don't know you but i love you because you have a life and a consciousness

please recognise that about everyone

i read somewhere that everything will always be alright in the end and if it's not okay yet, it's not the end either. it sounds dumb and doesn't really make sense (where's the logic lmao site ur sources at least) but it's such a nice sentiment

i think ummm i will go to school and give all my friends a big hug tmrw so pls don't be sad in the meantime

anyway loossemble's new album is good im so happy for them

this is the happiest and healthiest hyeju's ever looked i lowkey wna cry over how well theyre doing ;v;

also highkey want her to put me in a chokehold like GHSFDFJFSDHGJK those ARMSSSSSS MOTHER??

fuck modhaus tho i hope artms r doing well... fucking jaden jeong ugh

[zouislover]

hiii it’s me again, sorry i vanished, got caught up in christmas things. now it’s the day after christmas so i’m back 😅 it was lovely, i got some very nice gifts !! including some fancy perfume i wanted, a red panda plushie (my fav animal), a projector, and a massage voucher which i have been dyingggg forrrr. how have ur last few days been?

yeahh we’re not too different in age but we’re very different people lol. had a bit of a crisis last night that i’m gonna be 27 this coming year that i forgot my half birthday isn’t until january 1st which means im still 26 for over half a year…. but that’s what my anxiety does unfortunately. i’m rly trying to just enjoy where i am and not care how old i am yk? i feel more like a teenager now than when i was a teenager! just figuring everything out for the first time.

waittt the kpop choreo with bollywood music sounds sick?? what’s the account name? yeah the production level is crazy it blew me away when i first got into kpop. there are 5 ppl in txt! they’re a super easy band to get into imo! one of my fav groups (seventeen) has 13 members lol a lot more to catch up with. still, once u get into kpop for the first time, it’s rly easy to learn everything about new groups rly quickly. i loveeee bts but i totally understand, esp as they got so popular, getting into the fandom part is hard sometimes. (fun fact txt are actually bts’ juniors in their company!) i still don’t rly have many friends who are into kpop, and my kpop blog has almost no followers. getting into a new fandom in general is hard! but i’m actually not exaggerating when i say, for me personally, getting into kpop as a whole thing is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. ik that sounds dramatic and it’s not for everyone but it’s true for me! if u wanna start easy on some good easy songs my top 5 would be:

lo$er=lover,

devil by the window,

farewell neverland,

frost,

opening sequence,

if you do give them a shot, i highly recommend the music videos or performance videos instead of just the song!

yeah i think so too. ^-^ my name isn’t similar to my url and u don’t follow me as far as i’m aware, so i can tell u my name if u waaant! and ok fun fact, my parents wanted to name me grace, but then my first and last names would’ve rhymed. so they gave me a name that MEANS grace, but then spelled it differently?? and it’s also japanese (tho i am not), and my middle name has two meanings. so technicallyyyy they wanted my name to mean “grace from the heavenly ocean” but it actually ended up meaning “flower of the sea and sky”

i’ve never been into hard liquor but i used to get drunk on white wine and peach juice a lot. or maybe a white wine spritzer. maybe a white claw or two but usually just wine. when i was like 19/20 (yea underage but just at home or when i was house sitting) as it only took like a glass or two for me to be drunk lolll and drunk for me just meant like….. crying over movies and getting rly flirty and silly and dumb. and then i got a little older and was like oooookay enough of that. u don’t like clubs ur not social u just drink alone in ur room reading so why don’t u just have tea instead. so i switched to tea, then lost my taste for alcohol. (also got very very drunk on halloween while my friend was visiting and was like alr never drinking again!). wine made me soooo sleepy tho and like a few months ago i had half a glass of wine for the first time in ages and immediately fell asleep on the couch for an hour lmao.

my fav pizza topping is pineapple! yes i’m that bitch. i think it goes perfectly. or mushroom, depending on my mood. and i lovveee the heart shaped pasta! i have it every year on valentine’s day. we actually buy shaped pasta for every holiday, a week ago or so we had snowflake shaped pasta! can u not get it where u are?

honestly i don’t remember everything we had, my mom ordered it all. i know we had chicken tikka masala, butter chicken, palak paneer, some sort of veg curry thing? lots of naan….. a couple other things i don’t rly remember what they were sorry. i’ve liked every indian dish i’ve ever tried tho!

yessss well spanish is our official second language, there are a loooot of spanish speakers here, and there were a lot when i grew up on the west coast bc we border mexico. so california has a lot of mexicans. i would be so anxious moving to a country where i didn’t speak their language well, im so impressed by immigrants that come to the states and anyone who moves somewhere like that! it must be soooo hard.

yesss we’re very close, and i’ll def send pics of stuff off anon! and pls, we joke all the time that my family is SO similar to the dunphys lol. i did dress up for halloween! i was like a dark fairy. i’ll tell u my ig after and u can see the costume if u want ^-^ it snowed where i USED to live, and hopefully i’ll move again soon to where it snows again, but rn i live somewhere hot and i hate it. my dog’s name is oliver! very basic unfortunately i was not in charge of the name lol but oli suits him too. do u have any pets? christmas tree farms and pumpkin patches are so funnn, if u ever visit the states during holiday season i will take u to do those things u can tag along with the modern family gang lol

ooo i would enjoy working at an ice rink! i love being in there. i’d be annoyed stuck working when i wanna skate tho ngl.

there’s a big chinese new year festival here in a couple of weeks im excited for!! i would lovveee to go to some indian holiday festivals too, they always look so so festive and fun! i do not have a partner, i have been single my whole life, which rly adds to my yearning writer vibes lol. i spend valentine’s day with my family and we get each other gifts, my mom gets rly into EVERY holiday so we decorate and get themed foods and treats, and then later my parents go out to dinner and my sister and i have a self care night.

for italian food in boston, i always get a margherita pizza and just like pasta pomodoro, but last time i had a pizza with goat cheese and caramelised onion

and arugula and it was absolutely incredible. i also have a lot of cannolis and tiramisu :P i go to boston every so often, it’s actually a small possibility i will move there this year? but im not 100% that’s happening yet so im trying not to get my hopes up too much. it’s very cool there tho one of my fav places.

i feel like i’m doing all the talking when i should be asking u questions !! what’s smth good that happened to u this week? anything ur looking forward to? only a week until i reveal my identity! tho i have a feeling u already know who it is based on smth that i know 👀

happy thursday hehe ❄️

hiiiii hellooo sorry for the late reply x

i knew how big christmas is for u so i assumed u were having a lovely time with ur family! very pleased to hear that it went lovely! how was watching the holiday this year? 👀 ooh i love perfumes, do u have a signature perfume/scent that u always use or are u more the experimental kind? i love love love plushies and i demand a picture when u are off anon <3 just today i went and got myself a blue penguin. i saw her last week and was contemplating whether to bring her home and today i finally said fuck it i'm getting her and i was SO lucky because it was the last blue one in that size so here u go say hello to zula 💙

i feel u so much about the age thing because it hit me out of nowhere when i was 23 and i just felt too much™ about being 23. like just a complex web of untangled emotions and i couldn't believe i was 23. turning 21 in the pandemic really did a number on me huh 😬 and 24 came with a very settled feeling of how i just can not wait for my 30s like i'm looking forward to it SO much. am i right to assume that ur birthday is june 1st? 👀 my sister's birthday is in june too!

it genuinely is so funny that account because it mashes up all the popular bollywood songs to really good kpop choreos. i remember seeing some with bts on there! i found two videos here and here both songs are very popular in india! i think i remember my sister explaining to me how the kpop industry works. correct me if i'm work, but it's usually these entertainment companies that aspiring artists register to and go through rigourous training before getting put together as a band right? a friend of mine who is a bts fan explained to me how there's different lines based on the vocal skills within a band! oh my god 13 members sounds like a lot 😭 i would need so much time to be able to recognise and differentiate each member but doesn't it make the music very chaotic with the vocals? i think i have an odd mutual or two who's into kpop but i'm completely blanking on who rn 😭 honestly it doesn't sound dramatic at all because i completely get the feeling (i'm a 1d girlie after all 😬) and i love how music has this ability to intertwine with ur life! ooh i love the song titles that u mentioned i'll definitely check them out and get back to u 👀 have u been able to pick up on korean since getting into kpop?

i love how ur parents put so much thought into naming u and came up with a creative name because flower of the sea and sky sounds! so! amazing! i was just talking to my mum last night about baby names because we have naming ceremony coming up in our family and i asked my mum whether they gave that much thought into naming me and my sister and she was like nope 😬 although! i have never met a single person with my name so that's a win for me <3

yeah i only just started drinking this year and i really like some gins and ciders but i can never become a beer person 🫡 i love how u are saying 19/20 is underage because in india technically 21 is the legal drinking age but everyone starts drinking wayyy before that and in the uk it's 16 😭 i've never really gotten drunk and from everyone's experiences i don't intend to either. i get u about wine making u sleepy though because whenever i have had alcohol i get so sleepy too! what's ur favourite tea? do u like herbal ones?

i have actually never tried pineapple on pizza but i'm surprised by how many of my friends actually do like it. i'm in general not a pineapple fan though :( and i'm a mushroom hater (i also found out im allergic in the weirdest possible way 😬) but my go to toppings are onions, peppers, jalapenos and olives! snowflake pasta oh my god that is so cute!! pls send me a picture if u have one <3 i actually haven't looked around for different shapes of pasta yet so i'm gonna do that next time im out grocery shopping!

all of those dishes are definitely india's popular ones so u definitely had some of the best ones and im so glad to hear u liked it!!! i know u mentioned tea so if u get a chance u should definitely try masala chai!

i actually didn't know that spanish is the official second language! i'm only just learning spanish now and i'm honestly so glad that the people here have been so warm and welcoming towards me while i learn a whole new language!

exactly u guys sound so much like the dunphys and i love that for u!! ooh a dark fairy! was it inspired by any of ur favourite characters or was it an original outfit? and yes i'd love to be besties on insta too 💖

oh u missed snow this year :( here's me manifesting snow for u next year with snowflake pasta and soup 💖 oliver is a cute name i like it!! say hello to oli from me 💙

i don't have any pets yet but i do intend to adopt cat by 2027 so let's see how that goes 🫡 i would looveee to join u guys for all the fun festive activities it sounds so warm and filled with joy <3 working at the ice rink was fun but listening to the same christmas playlist made me go insane 😬

ah very excited for the chinese festival! let me know how it goes! and honestly u should see at least one of our festivals because we are very loud celebrators 🫣 god i feel u on the yearning because it's been too long™ for me too, i've always been single and i better get a girlfriend in 2025 because what is this 😭 i loveeee ur valentines celebration tradition because it is filled with so much love!

honestly pomodoro goes really hard and omg i love goat's cheese and caramelised onion and especially if it's a thin crust pizza with some rockets on it, it's so so good! i tried cannolis once and i didn't much like it🫣 but i do loveeee tiramisu!

i'm actually hearing so much praise about boston recently that i want to visit it now! seed wrote about boston so fondly and noah kahan also loves boston and now u are mentioning moving there! manifesting it so so much for u! does it snow in boston?

oh no u are not doing too much talking, this is definitely a two way street and i love chatting to u too! i went to get some clothes and then of course i got zula the blue penguin so i'm very happy about that! i'm getting a laptop for my sister and we finally managed to select one and my parents should be getting it by tomorrow so very excited for her!

also oh my god my perception of time is so off rn thank u for reminding me that we're supposed to reveal ourselves soon because otherwise i'd just continue to yap on anon (and hehe i do think i know who u are and i kinda figured it out around ur second message itself 👀)

hope u had a very lovely weekend and hope ur new years celebrations are filled with joy 💖

[ohumokay]

I saw ur comment on the friend post and even though we have an age gap it baffles me that we seem to be having the same issues in regards to friendships. idk if society has always been cliquey or overly selective of who it lets join in and vice versa. but lately idk whats been up with peoples way of communicating you would think even with all tihs digitalised methods that people would want to but yet it seem no one does either bc theyre so self absorbed or they are "too busy" esp for those that have 100s of friends online but never enough time to every one so some of us sadly get put aside or we just drift apart if they dont align or do enough like i dont even care about gifts and no cards and shit fuck that id rather just have few solid connections than none.

what sucks is the other people who then gloat on their profiles or accounts and ik they "busy" with others. i try to find things in common with others but its so hard sometimes because then you feel like you have to force yourself to genuinely care about shit you dont care about in order to find somewhere to fit in. i recently tried doing online zoom quizzes and they were absolute hell, first off zoom is the worst way to try to feel included in on any sort of group esp when u dont know them right off the bat then these quizzes were god awful to keep up with esp the speedquizzing ones. i only did them cause this was the only way my "friend" would keep in touch long enough w/ me.

its a sad world we are in where people are mostly only interested in themselves, even in school this was the case. idk i just kinda gave up cause i dont think i will ever find who im looking for cause it feels like if im not doing xyz things no one going to care if im not here type thing. yet im tired of finding people only to then feel like they arent pulling their efforts back, again idc for gifts but is it so hard for people to idfk send messages in return or to keep a friendship going? outside of having common interests?

sorry for rambling but i feel like no one really seems to want deep meaningful connections no more. everuthings done for their benefit or for posting online and showcasing it to others their "fake" as fuck connections that they claim to have with people.

Hey... Yeah, I completely understand what you mean. A lot of ppl have shallow ass relationships views nowadays, or avoid real connections.

I think I know which comment you're talking about: the one about my ex-bsf who basically ghosted me. That friendship was not only one sided, but toxic asf. They would shit on my beliefs, make jokes at my expense, and if they were called out for their behavior, they'd say that it didn't matter bcuz they were gonna off themself anyway. It was really shitty, and towards the end, they made it very clear they were a fake friend (literally called themself fake) so I had to cut ties my own way.

I'm sorry your "friend" couldn't compromise in communication. That is such a sucky feeling; trying to keep a friendship afloat, even if the other person isn't. And it's sad that no one in this world can have a normal conversation.

Don't get me wrong, me and the friends I have left (including my new BSF) don't text anything deep. Like, we text all the time, but we usually avoid deep conversations. Not bcuz we can't have meaningful conversation, but bcuz we don't feel comfortable texting; deep shit should be said in person, or,at the bare minimum, over a phone call. So that's why we text pretty shallow, or not at all. But, our friendship is also strong enough to withstand a few days without talking and still being closer than ever.

I understand your exhaustion, for a while I shared your sentiment, but I firmly believe that everyone has a person. A person who they can talk to freely, whenever, without worry of toxicity or emotional distance. A person who is always there with a shoulder to cry on, and advice that one might need to hear, even if they don't want to hear it. A person who will be willing to sit in silence when need be, or rant with them, or simply listens bcuz talking without interruption is therapeutic. A person who is their person, through thick and thin.

And, I know we don't know each other, and have an age gap (tho, idk how large it is), but if you need someone to listen to your rants and rambles, or to talk you through a situation, or to just tell you your heard and appreciated, I'm more than willing. And this goes to anyone who needs it, not just the questioner. I am willing to be a surrogate person until you find your actual person.

I'm not perfect, I might not say the right thing, it might take me a while to respond, but I will always be willing to help a fellow person in need, even over Tumblr ❤️‍🩹

[loud-sturniolos]

So I need to ramble about my ex “friend” bc this mf did some horrible shit recently and I have no one to talk to abt it‼️‼️ This is rlly long, and may not make sense, but yk drama is drama, read if u wanna🤷‍♂️ Also, ngl, I’m also toxic in this argument but idc😞‼️

Also I’ve said like a bajillion times but nobody does it; my asks are open for literally anything, like pls talk to me I’m lonely af😞 U can literally ask for drama and I will tell y’all some random ass drama from my life if u want js pls talk to me LMFAO🙏

SOOOOO This kid that I was “friends” with (more like acquaintances, I dont rlly do friends) is such a fucking bitch like if I see him im gonna fucking beat the shit out of him. He messages me like every few weeks out of nowhere about random shit as if we’re friends, so the other day I kinda snapped when he asked “how are you” and i was like “idk why you care, you literally never talk to me at all, you left me on delivered for 3 months when I had nobody then randomly showed up again and tried to act as if nothing happened” and that kinda started an argument but he was to much of a pussy to argue w me😞 (Haven’t had a proper argument in a good while icl). Anyways next day this snapchat accoumt messages me that I’ve had added since december but like idk who it is, they message me w a snap using a random ass filter and the caption “Damien you gave me an eating disorder” so OBVIOUSLY I’m fucking confused asf, bc what?? Who randomly claims someone gave them an eating disorder??? Like especially claiming I gave them one whilst I’m recovering from my own?? back tf up. but anyways im like “wtf, who r u? idk u” and they listed like a few basic things that anybody on my snap knows, and i said anyone would know that, and then this mf bitch goes “Well ik your real parents are druggies” (Long story short, im adopted bc my real mum was addicted to her dads meds, idk abt my real dad) and obviously im like SHOVKED bc i’d only ever told like 4 ppl abt this that I trusted (idrc now tho, ill tell the world tbh😞‼️) so im instantly like “wtf who r u??” and he tries to make a guessing game out of it?? Like what the actual fuck?? Making a game out of my personal life is like a straight up no? Anyways I start yk, stalking n shit bc bro wont tell me who they are and I see their user name has “bl00dy” in, what do I see on my quick add? Ex friends full name, on a different account BUT the username has “bl00dy” in (btw im not like censoring that, thats literally how they spell it in the user💀), so I’m instantly like Who does this ugly mf think they are adding me on a fake account to talk abt my real parents n shit like that, so I head on over to whatsapp bc thats where we message and i send a ss of the fake acc and i say “is this you”, he deny it, I tell him all the proof I have that it’s him (Same hair colour/length from the snap, identical usernames, same humour, same typing style) and he denies it.

Guess who messages me 20 minutes later confessing? he does. If u gonna lie at least keep up the lie like tf? Anyways, he confessed and I was obviously pissed off bc I trusted him with personal info abt my real parents yk?? And I basically tell him he’s a stupid fuck that needs to get a life and he goes “Maybe I went a bit too far.” A BIT?! A BIT TOO FAR?! No mf you went WAYYY too far. Anyways idk what happened adter that part bc whatsapp wont let me back on it bc my storage is HORRIBLE. But I have some screenshots and can remember a bit of it sooo..

Next thing I have is him telling me “Human error is a think yn, you might not be autistic” so obviously I go off at him for that umh.. I wrote a lot so I’ll js put in the screenshot

so yhh.. that part happened😽

Next thing I have screenshotted pissed me off so much y’all dont understand omg. So first, he called me a high school drop out and called me special n told me i got sent to a “special school”, basically mocking my mental health and autism?? When I tell you I know so much about his trauma, and his mental health that I could have brought up in that argument i swear. anyways, i told him how the school i go to now isnt a special school, and that I didnt get “sent” i literally chose to go there, and also I haven’t dropped out of high school bc im still enrolled in a school??? then he suddenly starts asking me abt what job I wanted to do when I’m older, so I tell him (Child protection officer or a detective) and he starts telling me how 1. I’d probably brag about making a child cry and thats a whole other fucking thing if i went on abt that this would be way too long. and 2. How I can never get the jobs bc I need science. Keep that shit in mind, SCIENCE. He starts telling me abt how to get the job i want, the job i’ve been researching into for 3 years, he js starts telling me abt how ill mever get it. Then he brings up how I need psychology for it. And he says how psychology is a science. When I tell u this mf stupid istg😞 So I have to go explaining to this dumbfuck that i do not, in fact, need a science degree i meed a psychology degree. Then he tries to tell me how detectives use chemicals and stuff and I’m like… you mean the forensics team need chemicals? Bc detectives and forensics teams are two different jobs bae😨.

anywaysss, next thing I have screenshotted is me mocking his dumbass but idk the messages b4 it. but the SS is just this:

so thats cute. Anyways, the next thing that happened is when I got my older sister involved bc mf should not have brought it up!!

So I told him at some point to sort his memory out bc he was telling me things that didnt happen, then this mf tells me to basically stop being a hypocrite and tells me that the pills im on fucks up my memory. So, then im confused bc.. I’m not on meds? So I’m like “where tf did you get that from? i dont take pills” and this little fucker i swear i will kill him if he comes near me again, he fucking says “You failed an overdose, hence why I thought you took pills”. Who the fuck does this fucker think he is to bring up MY mental health? To bring up MY suicide attempts?!?! Like actually, he can shut right up bc he’s attempted too, so????? Anyways I was like fully gobsmacked rhat this stupid little fuck thought he could bring up my mental health like that, so I gave the phone to my sister bc shes a toxic bitch and she will gladly argue w anyone🤗

Heres a lil list of things I remember happening but don’t remember the whole thing(that dont make sense but oh well):

He brought up (to my sister) that she hangs out with “druggies” (People in her friend group smoke, vape, do ket, and weed etc. but she only smokes and vapes)

He sent a very quickly deleted message that I managed to read that was basically him 1. calling me a she (transphobic little shit) and 2. telling someone else about MY overdose. Honestly💀. Me and my sister know who he was most likely telling anyways bc he only has one friend😽

Anyways rhats all I rlly rememberrrr.. I can probably remember skme other things, or drama that happened before this argument so if you want more of my drama filled life js ask‼️😽

[realcube]

haikyuu!! characters with a chubby! s/o 💗

characters: tsukishima, oikawa, atsumu, osamu & suna

thank you anon for this cute request 🥺

tw// comfort, fluff, angst if you squint, insecure! reader, swearing, they/them reader but reader wears a dress (in osamu’s)

(a/n): anon requested comfort but i feel bad bc i’m writing this like ‘no, (y/n)! stop being sad! you’re beautiful! 😡’ then i remember that i can just select+delete the pain away💗💖

Kei Tsukishima

let’s not pretend like tsukki gives a fuck what you look like tbh ✋

like nobody is ‘perfect’ and everyone is insecure (to varying degrees) so why would he care about your weight?

nobody ticks every single box to meet society’s definition of ‘beauty’  

plus, tsukki thought beauty standards were stupid away so he created his own - and you meet every single one 💖

in fact, almost everyone meets his beauty standards - besides himself ‘:)

he seriously doesn’t care about your weight tbh, it’s the most trivial thing so why would he care?

although, he wasn’t naïve enough to think that everyone was like-minded

your front of ‘i don’t care about what other people think of me’ was strong enough to fool even the most observant of poeple, including tsukki

however, tsukishima failed to take into consideration that you were his girlfriend, meaning that you could be playing the same game as him; ‘pretend to not care about superficial things like beauty so nobody will think for a second that you are insecure about your body’

he wasn’t one to give compliments but neither were you tbh so the mutual agreement y’all have of ‘let’s call each other names as a form of endearment to avoid those awkward moments were you are looking for the right words for praise but can’t come up with anything’  was fair

but after you accidentally sent him a self-deprecating ‘joke’ message that was clearly meant for a friend, he never passed up the opportunity to compliment you ever again

like he kinda just stared at the message like 😮 ‘does (y/n) seriously care about their weight? why? it doesn’t even matter. how stupid! who told them that the shape of their body is important? bc it’s not..’

then he turns to look in the mirror like ‘wow you srsly need to put on muscle, lanky bitch. or else (y/n) will probably leave you for some built jackass like kuroo. pick up some weights, noodle arms!’

anyway, he’s not too good with words and comfort in situations like these but he’ll probably reply to your text with something out-of-character and surprisingly sweet

to paraphrase (bc the actual text would probably be like a whole damn persuasive essay LMAO he starts with the introduction, makes five points and finishes with a conclusion pfft) , i think it would be something like: ‘hey, (y/n). ik that text was probably meant for one of your friends (but if they’re the ones making you feel bad about your weight then you should probably drop those toxic cunts anyway 💅✨) but i just wanted to say that even though you are the biggest clown i’ve ever met (/j) you’re still v beautiful 💗 stop being insecure or i’ll pass away ⚰💀 ok thx love you bye’

Tōru Oikawa

how are you insecure if you’re dating oikawa? /j

like he is such a hypeman

whenever y’all take pics in your ✨fancy outfits ✨ for formal event, he acts as though you are second most beautiful thing on the face of this earth 😍 (second to him ofc)

but he only does that so he can keep up the reputation he has of being effortlessly confident bc he’s scared that if it slips for even a second, everyone will see how truly insecure he is

truthfully, in his eyes, you come first place by miles (❤ ω ❤)

like srsly, you’re so gorgeous in that dress!! he hopes that you know that he is joking about the whole ‘second place’ thing bc you should be able to tell by the way he looks at you that you’re genuinely the most striking person he’s ever laid his eyes on 

you never acted overly confident in front of him but he definitely didn’t think you were as insecure as you are

he thought you were just..humble :)

sometimes he’d hear you mutter something mean about yourself as you passed the mirror but he paid no mind to it as he figured that you just cared about your appearance and wanted to maintain a certain image

however, once he was made aware that you didn’t want to maintain your image but rather, change it - he never let you murmur anything nasty about yourself under your breath ever again, not without proceeding to tackle you to the ground and shower you with his love, affection & praise 💞💕❤

and he never made a ‘second place’ joke ever again, he started his honesty streak by reassuring you that you’ll always be the number one in his eyes 🤩

also, after that, he was a lot more open about his own insecurities with you and you made sure to respect them and help him in a similar way that he did

there is just so much love and admiration between the two of you and at first you were both to shy to express it but now, you both are showering each other in compliments 24/7 bc you both just want the other one to know how perfect you view them as (❁´◡`❁)

Atsumu Miya

atsumu is a hypeman like oikawa but...better :)

IT’S BC HE HAS NO SHAME

he’ll compliment you on anything you wear and he makes it a point to use the most inappropriate compliment as possible, relative to the outfit you’re wearing

so if you’re wearing your pyjamas, he’ll call you ‘glamourous’

if you are wearing a swimsuit, he’ll call you ‘elegant’

if you’re in your work clothes/school uniform, he’ll call you ‘sexy’

and if you’re in lingerie, he’ll call you ‘adorable’

but it makes you blush so hey, no complaints

so when he finds out that you’re actually insecure about your weight, he’s just like ‘no ❤’

like he hates the idea that when you look in the mirror, you don’t see the god(dess) he sees

like why? it’s the same person

💞 fuck ‘perception’ 💞

💕 ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ TF YOU ARE THE FUCKING BEAUTY💕

grrr he was so mad  

but he was also soft 

he was like ‘if (y/n) insecure? then why hot? then why pretty? then why fit perfectly into my arms?’

plus, THIGHS

he’d never diss a person bc they had small thighs or anything BUT he’d also NEVER complain about being given the chance to be with someone with some good thighs 👍

tbh the best could do to help was compliment you ten times harder to eliMINATE ALL YOUR INSECURIES 

(and ofc i don’t mean that in a way - for example - if you’re insecure about your nose, he’ll fkn chop it off......he won’t chop your nose off LMAO he’ll just show you how much he loves it, to the point where you have no choice but to love it too ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ )

anyway, plz love (or at least, tolerate) yourself or else he’ll suffocate you with all his love and affection :D

Osamu Miya

osamu is at a loss when it comes to typical beauty standards tbh

to him, weight (and most things) are similar to..hand size, for example

just like how you can’t imagine someone feeling self-conscious about the size of their hand (especially if their hand is a healthy size) 

he can’t imagine why some one would be shamed for their weight (especially if they’re a healthy size)

so had no idea you could possibly be insecure about something like that and he probably on realised after a few years in the relationship 😅

there was a formal event coming up and y’all were going as dates so you wanted to shop for outfits together 

as couples do ✌

anyway, he was on a dress site, scrolling away until you pointed out one that you thought was pretty - and it matched the color of the tie osamu bought too!

it was a fair price (for a formal dress 🙄 which is probably like $68/50) so osamu was like ‘buy it then ( •̀ ω •́ )✧’  bc he thought it would so gorgeous on you 

but you were like ‘no’

and after he pried further, you explained how you thought it wouldn’t ‘suit your body type’ 

GRRR HE dislikes IT WHEN PPL SAY THIS SO MUCH BC HOE YOU DON’T HAVE A BODY TYPE YOU’VE GOT A BODY 😡💕 WEAR THE DAMN DRESS IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL 

but like deadass it’s not your blood type-  it’s just a thing ppl made up to make ppl (mostly women) feel bad about themselves for no reason

but that might just be his inner atsumu talking 🤷‍♂️

he didn’t even know what to say at first- he was just like ????? body type ????

but once he figured out what you meant, he still had no idea what to say- at least, without sounding rude

what if someone came up to you and told you they were insecure about the shape of their knee.......what do you even say???

so he was silent for like the rest of the day

you decided to give him some space just in case something happened which had upset him

he had no idea what to say, in all honesty, so he hoped that his actions spoke louder than words 

around 3 days had passed since you last spoke to osamu and you were beginning to think something you had said made him uncomfortable

you were studying in your room until there was a ring at your door so you rushed downstairs and you opened it to reveal a package sitting on your doormat

you had recently ordered some cleaning equipment so you were sure that the content of the package was probably that

so imagine your surprise when you tear it open to reveal  — you guessed it —  the dress 💕

Rintarō Suna

when he says that he doesn’t care what ppl look like, he means it

he upkeeps his own appearance though bc..it’s his!

like why would he care about what weight you are? that’s none of his business

as you can tell, he’s generally not shallow but sometimes when y’all are just cuddling and your face is pressed to his chest, the words ‘you’re so cute’ just fall from his lips

so ofc he appreciates compliments over his skills, personality, humour etc over flattery about his appearance 

hence, the praise he gives you is usually based around those things too bc he just thinks that you’re just like him in the fact you don’t appreciate skin-deep comments

so when he found out that you’re actually insecure about your weight (or something else), he kinda blames himself

he thinks that the whole reason you’re not extremely confident in your appearance is all due to him and the fact he fact he maybe didn’t compliment you on your looks enough  — but that’s not to say that he doesn’t think you’re beautiful 

you’re the most radiant person he’s ever laid his eyes on and he thought you knew that regardless of whether he vocalised it or not

he wasn’t really sure what to do tbh

bc he loved you and wanted to comfort you ofc but he was scared of making things worse

like what if something he says accidentally makes you so upset that you break-up with him 😭

but he knew he couldn’t just stay silent about the issue, especially when he wanted to say to much

thus, he sent you a heartfelt message on discord 

(rather than snap, whatsapp etc so he could edit it after he posts it bc knowing him, he’ll probably write something, reread it ten times then as soon as he hits send, he spots a bunch of mistakes)

and he’d explain how you’re simply divine regardless of your insecurity and if anything, it just makes you cuter 😍

ok ok so i really don’t want it so seem like he has a fetish bc HE DOESN’T 

but he think your curves are so fun and pretty ❤ 

like everything about you is pretty but suna just can’t comprehend why you’re insecure about something like your weight when he literally adores it (bc he adores everything about you) 

[talkingtea]

Yeah people still ship them (this including C/Iris fans) and a lot of them still support him (idk if they don’t know what has happened, or just don’t care) but I guess that’s their prerogative and their business. Like do what you want or whatever but to me it’s confusing how you could still want that to happen, despite knowing everything that has happened. Why would you want a Black Woman which is very vocal about racism, with a White Man (with a republican family) that more often than not, pretends racism doesn’t exist??? In the real world, that’s the worst thing you could ever want considering the racial tensions that are part of every day life. Most of the time you can tell it’s “harmless” fun, but like anon said, there are a few that sound like it’s going to happen the minute certain factors fall into place. Not going to say too much bc ik they read this blog— like most ppl on twitter do but pretend they don’t.

Grant and Candice had red hot chemistry and for a looooong time they (mostly Grant) were messy as hell off screen so we get the shipping. Hell, we did it too. But there comes a point where certain actions just aren’t cute especially when they have very negative consequences that affect one person but not the other. Besides we’d never ship a black woman with a white man who actually fixed his mouth to say that he didn’t realize racism still existed until 2020. 😒

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Peter Parker’s Younger Sibling

Peter Parker x sibling!reader

warnings: bullying mention, blood mention

a/n: a fuckin reach, its been a WHILE since ive seen tasm

prompt: y/n is peter’s sibling

peter and you were playful kids

you were just a year and some months younger than him, so you had a harder time remembering your parents than him

but he always told you stories about them that made you miss them a little more

peter was a genius, we all know it

he was the one helping you with your homework most nights

“peter i cant do it!”

“that’s okay, y/n. look, start with two times four, that’s eight, then four times six, twenty-four, right?”

“can i say a cuss word?”

“sure”

“math is shit”

you would cry during homework a lot

you’d also pass out on his floor after talking for hours

and you’d either wake up facedown on the floor or in your room since uncle ben would pick you up and put you to bed

peter took it upon himself to take you back to your room, but he usually dragged you by the arm, sooooo

you’d play action figures together

he was batman, you were robin always

“can i be batman?”

“oldest gets to be batman so im batman”

“but i wanna be batman!”

peter walked you to your school before taking off on his skateboard

and he’d pick you up on his way home

on half-days your brother taught you how to skate

you fell a lot

aunt may had to patch you up

“how many times do i have to tell you those skateboards are dangerous?!”

peter got you your own skateboard so that you could practice without him

you would text him after you did a trick and he’d always say hell yes! show me when i get home!

being his photography assistant

really you were his assistant constantly

science fair was the most boring day of the year

“y/n, stand right here, i need to get something from my locker”

*judges walk up while youre left unattended and in a state of PANIC*

you were bullied in middle school, same as peter, he’d always stick up for you and get beat up instead

it made you very mad but it was scary, too

“how’d you get into this fight, peter?”

“oh, you know, just happened”

“peter was sticking up for me, uncle ben”

“was he now? you’re a good brother, peter”

lonely when he moved onto high school :/

but you got there soon enough

you guys were kind of loners, just ate lunch together, lugged around your skateboards, you were an artist, he was a photographer

just spectating the chaos of high school, rolling your eyes at the drama

“i have two bucks, do you want anything from the vending machine?”

“uhh, a coke?”

you saw peter get bullied by flash and lost your shitttt

you actually started a food fight after throwing mashed potatoes in his eyes

“what the hell, parker?!”

“sit down and eat your goddamn food, flash, or next time it wont be potatoes”

peter was half-proud, half-embarrassed

trying to see how long you could skate through the halls before any authority figures stopped you

sometimes......you guys got sent to the office together :)

*phone ringing* “hello, is this ben parker?”

“which one of them is it this time?”

the principal’s office was a trip sometimes

you and peter exchange your glances and wait to get scolded

“ah, the parkers, come in, lets have a chat...why do you two always feel the need to get in trouble together?”

“we just happen to get along really well for siblings”

no you fuckin dont lmaoooo

it was always something with you two

like always

*banging on peter’s door* “I KNOW YOU HAVE MY BROWNIES, PETER, GIVE THEM BACK”

*peter through a mouthful of brownies* “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT, YOURE CRAZY”

“is that my jacket?” -peter

“you mean my jacket?”

“y/n, i swear to god if you steal any more of my clothes it’s over for you”

“well, aunt may keeps giving me your clothes, so take it up with her”

and then there was just the little annoying things

“peter, can you stop clicking your pen?”

*clicks pen faster*

“you’re the worst”

and my personal favorite

“peter, open the door”

“why?”

“emergency”

*opens bedroom door* “what?”

“aunt may is making meatloaf”

“shit, uh...get your board, we’ll skate to mcdonalds and tell her we already ate”

peter and you RARELY ever brought your parents up until he found your dad’s briefcase, you didn’t have much to say

soon he was flooding his room with conspiracies and pulling you in to explain them

he began acting REALLY weird, but he was pretty open with you, he told you he went to oscorp

“YOU SNUCK IN??”

“your standards for me are way too high, y/n”

soon you started to feel not-so-good and weird things started to happen

“peter??”

“yeah? whats up?”

“this is gonna sound really weird...my hand is stuck to the door”

“it happened to you, too??”

“happening, pete. wait—this happened to you?? what is this???????”

yall done fucked up and got bit by spiders peter had so carelessly brought back into the house

it was an adjustment to say the least

and this adjustment got a whole lot harder that one night...you can remember peter just...so upset

you tried to chase him out to make sure he was okay, but uncle ben told you to stay with your aunt

maybe if you’d have been there...it would’ve been different, but when the cops got to your house you were at a loss for words

peter was covered in his blood still

“hey, hey, just breathe, okay? it’s not your fault, peter. just hop in the shower, yeah? i’ll take care of your clothes”

when peter took your advice and you were left alone, you just cried, you cried until he finally found you curled up in a ball in your room

then he cried, you just hugged each other sobbing your eyes out

peter got distant for a while, which was rough since the two of your were mourning for your uncle and dealing with these newfound powers

sooner or later he came around and helped you out, designing webshooters and a suit for you

“we match?”

*sigh* “yeah...yeah, we match”

ah yes, spider-team

you really tripped out new york at first, they thought spider-man was a teleporter

peter was still talking about your dad, but you really didn’t care, uncle ben was always going to be who raised you

you and peter would be covered in bruises after going out

“uh—peter punched me”

“y/n???!!!”

“I PANICKED”

just being dumb scared teens that cant function to save their lives until they get a little bit lucky

seriously like, every big villain you guys fought was just the worst

peter didn’t help all the time, he was good at provoking them sometimes

“hey, spider-man, you mind shutting up for a minute? for my sake?”

“sorry, sorry, just couldn’t help myself!”

he gushed to you about gwen stacy, he actually dragged you to her apartment to be patched up by her SEVERAL TIMES

yadda yadda yadda peter graduated high school! how cool is that? but he was late (what a surprise) even though you put off spidering today just for this

but he made it and you clapped the loudest for him

“thats my brotherrrr!!!”

cute family picture! (aunt may printed a bunch of them and gave them to you two and peter pinned them to his wall)

you and peter actually have a lot of pictures of the two of you just goofing off

he has one of you stuck in a trash can that cracks him up every time

seeing harry osborn again after YEARS

“wow, y/n, last time i saw you i just thought you were peter’s annoying little sibling”

“aww, it’s good to see you, too”

electrooooo

this guy really worried you bc like, bzzzz shock

you and peter weren’t equipped for that

it took a while, but you were finally able to deal with that

and several other problems

including peter’s breakup, which was a whole ordeal of its own

*peter laying upside down on your bed* “i dont know, y/n, you know? i wanna be with her so bad, i love her...but her dad is haunting me”

*you, drawing on your notepad with your legs propped up on his* “yeah, makes sense”

you actually had to tap out during the end of electro, you were hurt pretty bad

“y/n, hey? yeah, you’re okay. stay here, just stay right there, i’m gonna be back for you”

*thumbs up to show youre still alive*

but when peter came back for you there was bad news, he’d lost gwen

he ripped his mask off and fell to his knees, you could barely move but you powered through it, giving him a hug while he cried

“we...we better get home before aunt may starts to worry”

she was at work, so you two had the place to yourselves to clean up and mourn before the official news was revealed

“i should have listened to her dad, y/n, this is all my fault”

he was a mess, you couldn’t bare seeing him like this. it’s been so long since you’d seen him like this

the funeral was rough, peter was grasping onto your shoulder the whole time

he insisted that he was going to stick behind and stay with gwen for a while

“okay, i’ll see you at home...love you”

“love you too”

you gave him a hug and left him to his business, the next few months you were the only spider-person operating in new york...until rhino popped up

“im coming with you”

“you’re sure?”

“yeah, im sure”

(these are kinda ass but anyways im tagging my marvel ppl even tho ik this isnt mcu so just ignore this post if you dont care, sorry!!)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //

[robinofinashiro]

request from anonymous: “hewwwoooo my favourite fanfic writer! i love ur ficssss so much. they keep me sane during this quarantine. may i request for a cute fic with porco and reiner chasing after the same girl (the reader)” 

note: i’m done with finals! you guys can send anything you’d like now! but sjksjksjk, i’m your fave??? but i went with the AU bc that’s what ppl have been asking for so i’m just assuming. 

request status: fully open!

pairing: porco galliard, reiner braun x fem! reader

you sat with Marcel as the two of you tried to cram for the same exam you had coming up. you were a year underneath him but you were in the honors program at the university so you almost had the same classes as he did. 

“between this exam and the project for Bio, I think my brain is going to combust,” you murmured to Marcel. he chuckled before taking a sip of his coffee, “well that and considering I heard my brother on Facetime with you until three in the morning, that could also contribute to your fatigue,” your face fell warm at the comment. 

you chucked a scrap piece of paper at hime, making him dodge it. you saw Reiner walking towards the two of you. you waved him over, his face instantly lighting up. 

“hey Braun, I thought you said you were going to skip coming to campus today?” you asked. he shook his head, sitting down next to you, almost immediately wrapping his arm around you, “nah, figured that if I didn’t come today, I wouldn’t see you until next Monday,” he mentioned. 

you saw Marcel’s face drop in slight annoyance before shaking it off. you couldn’t help but wonder what made him do that but decided not to pay too much attention. 

“that’s very flattering,” you murmured shyly. “so, what’s a cutie like yourself doing this Saturday,” he asked, “oh! I have plans with Marcel and Porco. they want to check out this restaurant a few towns over and Porco offered for me to come along,” you said excitedly. 

Reiner rolled his eyes, not happy about your plans, “why? were you planning on doing something?” you asked. Marcel immediately texted his brother to come down to the cafe. he hated to get into other peoples business, especially if it came to his hot headed brothers personal life but he knew more than anyone how you meant to him so he had to do the brother thing and notify him of Reiner’s intentions. 

“I was just wonderin’ if you wanted to come with Bertholdt, Annie, and I to ice skate, I wanted to take you as my plus one,” he stated. 

you thought for a moment. 

“well, what time are you guys planning on going? I can come after I’m done with Porco and Marcel!” you said excitedly. Reiner’s eyebrow raised as he saw Porco basically jetting down the stairs, “oh hey, Porco’s here!” you exclaimed 

Reiner remained silent, looking at the boy who was now glaring at him. the two of them continued to stare at each other, making you wonder why the air suddenly became thick. 

“uh, guys?” you said clapping your hands in front of their faces. they both instantly looked down at you, “sorry,” Reiner said bringing you to his side, “I was just thinking of something,” he spat.

Porco laughed sarcastically, “care to mention what is was, Braun?” he asked. you looked to Marcel for help, “guys, enough, let it go. Porco, you need to head home to grab your soccer gear,” Marcel said. 

the two of them brushed off the words as you placed your hand on Reiner’s shoulder, “hey, how about you come with me to class. I want to get there a bit early and I know your class is in the next hall,” you whispered, hoping they would finally end their stand off. 

“sure, I have no problem in walking you,” he said. Porco’s anger instantly rose, “I’ll come bring you lunch. I know how much you like the restaurant by my house,” you looked over to Porco, “you really don’t have too. you’re already paying for my dinner tomorrow so I can’t make you do that again,” you tried to say. 

Porco grabbed your hand, “for you, I’d do anything,” Marcel’s mouth dropped at the sudden declaration of love that was not normal coming out of his brother. Reiner on the other hand immediately retracted you from his grasp before taking your other hand, “lets go before you’re late,” he said. 

you gave Porco one final smile before walking away with Reiner. Marcel stared his brother in disbelief, not knowing what to do with what he just saw. “well, you gonna explain what I just saw?” he asked. 

Porco shook his head, “no,” and with that, he walked away. Marcel followed him, “listen, you know I’m the last to get in your business but this little competition over her has to stop. either one of you confesses and she accepts it before it goes to the shit and ends up dating someone else because of both of your immaturity,” Marcel lectured. 

“don’t you think I know that?” Porco retorted, “I’ve been fighting tooth and nail for her and I refuse to lose to Reiner of all people. plus, I heard from Pieck that she plans on choosing one of us soon so if it happens before she hangs out with Reiner on Saturday night then it’ll just be the cherry on top of it all.” 

Marcel rolled his eyes, brushing off his friend and brother immature attitude. 

+

Saturday morning finally came as you crawled out of bed. being that today was relatively the last day you had with both boys before you confessed to Reiner or Porco, you woke up with a feeling of nervousness in the pit of your stomach. 

“you ready for tonight?” Pieck said over Facetime. you shrugged, “kind of. I’m just nervous. regardless of who I actually like, the other is going to be so upset and I’m more than likely going to lose a friendship out of them,” you replied. 

she nodded understandingly, “well, do you know who really owns that heart of yours? one of them has to stand out more than the other,” she replied. “it’s hard. Reiner is such an amazing guy. he understands me in ways that Porco doesn’t. arguably, he’s been there a lot more than Porco has but Porco is just so different. he’s almost as if he’s the piece that I’m missing.” 

you growled, putting your head against the wall as she laughed, “listen, don’t stress yourself out. just see how today goes and if you happen to see that you like one more than the other, tell them right there,” you nodded as you saw Porco’s message telling you he was outside. 

you told Pieck goodbye before slipping on shoes and grabbing your bag. she could only hope that if you didn’t pick Porco, you let him down easy. she knew how Porco was, especially towards Reiner and didn’t want to be at the receiving end of the news if you told him no. 

“hey Marcel, Porco!” you said excitedly. Porco grabbed your hand softly as Marcel jokingly gagged, “be quiet. you’re just mad you don’t have anyone to be with,” Porco told him, “my date is meeting us there so fuck off,” Marcel countered.

the entire ride to the restaurant was you three just talking about whatever came up and because Porco sat in the back with you, he held your hand the entire time. every so often, he would rub your hand with his thumb making your face a bit warm. 

his grasp was very different in comparison to Reiner’s. Reiner’s hold was soft, almost like a delicate flower as Porco really held your hand as if it was the last time he’d ever get to hold it. 

“we’re here so get out my car,” Marcel said. you gave him the finger before hopping out of the so he could find parking. Porco held your hand, walking you to the small bench a bit away from the restaurant. you were confused as to why. 

“I want to talk to you about something,” he said grabbed your hand. you nodded for him to continue, “I know I’m basically fighting for you with Reiner. Ik know the two of you are close but I want you to know that I’d be the best option for you. I can give you the world and more,” he whispered before bringing you in for a kiss. 

he was lucky that the bench was so far from the restaurant as he slipped his hand on your thigh, pinching it softly. you moaned quietly at the movement but quickly enough moved back. 

“not here Porco and it’s not fair to Reiner and you know it.” 

he nodded as he let himself off you before getting up and giving you his hand. the two of you walked to the entrance of the restaurant, greeting Marcel’s date before walking in. 

+

after the dinner you walked to Marcel’s car, he had given Porco the key mentioning he’d get a ride back with his date. you sat in the passenger seat, holding his hand harder than you would be. 

the drive was eerily silent. he knew that you were now going to be with Reiner, essentially on a date with him and he had no control of what you did with him so the nervousness was bubbling up in his stomach. 

as he got the rink, he saw Reiner grabbing your pair of skates and paying for your ticket. he saw the way your face lit up at seeing him and a bit of sadness washed over him. 

“i’ll talk to you later?” you asked as he nodded. Porco kissed your hand softly before letting you out of the car and pulling out of the lot. 

you ran too Reiner, Annie, and Bertl, them saying hi almost instantly. Reiner handed you the skates as he patted the seat next to him. 

“here, I’ll tie your skates for you,” he offered, pulling your legs up. you smiled, “thank you Reiner,” you whispered. he slowly tied the skates before rubbing your legs softly, “you look amazing tonight,” he mentioned. 

you smiled, “stop, you’re just saying that,” your murmured shyly. he shook his head no, “i’m not. I’m glad you came out tonight and I want to show you that tonight is going to make up for whatever you didn’t enjoy today,” he added on. 

Reiner grabbed your hand, the one specifically Porco had kissed and brought you closer. this time, the kiss he had given you wasn’t as heated as Porco’s was. it was softer, more gentle, and nice. 

“lets go before Bertl and Annie think something happened to us,” he joked, finally pulling away. 

REINER ENDING: 

the entire time you were with Reiner, he had you within close proximity almost the entire night. singing songs in your ear as they played through the loud speaker of the rink. ‘you were meant for me’ from the movie Singing in the Rain was specifically the song he was singing. 

your face had felt warm the entire time. you found it sweet that such an old song was what he chose and knew from heart. 

Bertholdt and Annie had left the two of you a while after skating. the two of them claiming they were cold but you knew it was more of the fact that they probably wanted to give you privacy. 

“we should get going before you catch a cold,” Reiner said finally taking his skates off on the bench. he once again helped out unlace the shoes before handing them to the worker and meeting you back on the bench. 

the two of you walked to his car, him opening the door for you. upon him getting in the car, you looked over to him and smiled before reaching over and giving him a kiss. he instantly returned it, happy that his car was parked in a section with not many people looking in. 

“wait, i can’t do this, i don’t want to get my hopes up,” Reiner said trying to pull back. you sighed knowing what you were about to say would be just like word vomit, “Reiner, it’s not getting your hopes up if I’m just waiting for you to ask me out,” you whispered. 

his eyes widened, realizing what you meant. “wait, are you saying?” he asked. you nodded shyly as he practically fist pumped the air in excitement, “I’m so happy to hear those words,” he said pulling you in for another kiss. 

you let him kiss you for a while before pulling away, “I need to get home. I should text Porco,” you told him. Reiner nodded as he finally pulled out the parking lot and making his way back to your dorm. the entire time you had texted Porco. 

“I’m sorry Porco.” 

as soon as he received the message, he knew what it meant. he felt his anger rising as his hands clenched in anger. Marcel was sitting beside him as Porco stood up from the couch, leaving his phone accidentally open. he peered down to the message and sighed. 

Marcel knew you had no intentions to upset him so badly but he just felt sad at seeing his brother so upset. 

PORCO ENDING: 

you looked too Reiner and nervously smiled at him, “hey Reiner, do you think you can take me back to my dorm?” you asked. a part of him felt the shift in the air as you couldn’t really look at him anymore. 

Reiner was starting to connect the dots as you were silent through the drive home. you were holding his hand but not the way you would be and trying to make conversation but couldn’t keep it up. 

once you got back to your dorm building, you got out, Reiner walking you to the empty back entrance. you held his hand as you stood in front of him. “you don’t have to tell me, I can tell,” he told you, now holding both your hands, “i know but I feel so bad,” you murmured. 

Reiner shook his head no, “don’t. the world was meant for us just to be friends and as long as I’m able to be your friend, that’s all I ask,” you nodded as he placed on final kiss on the top of your head before giving you a small goodbye. 

you looked to your phone and texted Porco wondering if he could meet you at your dorm. you made your way to your room, kicking your shoes off and pulling on a hoodie and shorts. 

getting a response that he was downstairs, you walked down slowly, seeing him holding something in his hand. you opened the door as you stood in front of him and smiled. 

“how are you?” he asked softly, “fine, glad you wanted to meet me this late,” you responded. Porco laughed as he grabbed your hand, “always,” he replied. 

you pulled him in for a hug, surprising him a bit, “I hate to say it this way but I want you,” you managed to say. Porco’s mouth dropped a bit before he picked you up and spun you around, “seriously?” he asked. 

you nodded as he brought you down for a kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck. the two of you remained that way before you finally pulled away and looked at him with a soft smile. 

“you have no idea how happy that makes me. can i just cuddle you for a while?” he asked. you nodded as you opened the door and let him practically let him carry you in. 

[ironmandeficiency]

random thought of mine, which clone do you think would have the best singing voice? Ik they’re clones so they all sound the same fmdndn but still. i think jesse or echo maybe?

jesse would be such a beautiful singer, not a doubt in my mind. his voice is velvety, a bit husky with a hard punch of power. i’ve entertained this thought on multiple occasions and will one day write smth with singing jesse.

echo though? akhdkshkakdj i never thought abt him singing before now but i can totally see it, his voice being a bit less gritty than jesse’s but with a smidge more range and a clearness that rivals the scarif oceans.

gonna send thank-you’s to @obiorbenkenobi and @hxldmxdxwn for letting me ramble abt this post on discord at ungodly hours.

i made a playlist for this almost-au as well!!! find it here, and i’ll soon add it to my spotify shenanigans.

now enjoy me going into more detail abt these two boys than anyone asked for:

genre-wise i think jesse would be a bit more cocky and playful with his go-to songs, and he will dominate the stage with his godlike dancing every time he’s given the chance;

radar love by the golden earring - this is the song he first gets the confidence to dance to. once the crowd goes wild for it and he realizes how much he enjoys moving around, he keeps on doing it. there’s this one thing he does that’s like, um, jolting/bouncing (not sure how else to describe it) but the crowd thinks it’s great when he does it.

sexbomb by tom jones - his dancing here is utterly erotic and he knows how attractive it is, holy kriff. it’ll bring the entire bar staff to a standstill bc damn look at his hips go, sex god much??? most definitely grinds against the mic stand and gfgalkdfjghlkf it never fails to fluster quite a few patrons (this will soon be a full-fledged fic so keep your eyes open)

no mr. nice guy by alice cooper - he jokes sometimes that he was actually quite peaceful as a cadet before joining the five-oh-first. it isn’t a joke tho and you can blame fives and hardcase for making him go wild. but this song makes him think of when he stopped caring abt trying to impress the longnecks and he enjoys hitting the higher notes.

rock the casbah by the clash - this is where he learns to snap his hips to every “rock” with a bit extra force. the crowd has a blast clapping along, some of the more drunk people screeching “the shareef don’t like it!” at the top of their lungs. it’s upbeat 

rock this town by the stray cats - he’s having a damn good time with this song, a lot of elvis presley vibes. if he had enough hair he’d flip it. he does a bit of air guitar and will sway his mic stand around and bounce his knee to the beat.

strutter by kiss - he loves this one, it’s a personal favorite. he;ll be running his hands down his body when he’s still, but the times he’s walking around the stage he’s got a hand on his swinging hips, literally strutting. it’s so fun to watch him embrace the music

bad to the bone by george thorogood & the destroyers - a joking request from fives that turned into a crowd favorite. fives didn’t think his vod could do it but jesse rose to the occasion as he charmed his way through the song with his fun swagger and playful air sax. he drank quite a bit of water after this one bc he was unused to using as much gravel in his voice as this song took, but he enjoys it nonetheless.

echo would be softer with his choices, leaning more towards soulful and sweet in comparison to jesse’s wild side. he also plays both guitar and piano, i take no criticism on these points;

the night they drove old dixie down by the band - he plays this one after a rough mission and it’s deeply resonating with everyone there, everyone either putting down their drinks to let the song flow thru them, or grab something stronger to let it lull them into inebriation.

no plan by hozier - he sounds so beautiful with literally any hozier song tbh, but this one is his favorite. this was the closest he got to smth soulful before the times he duetted with jesse and he really enjoyed it. it was smooth yet passionate and is one he sang for the first time when dejected and unsure abt his future.

piano man by billy joel - he plays the piano for this song & kriff did it take him a while to both master it and find someone that played the harmonica well enough to join him. this is rex’s favorite song to hear echo play and will hum it quite often. echo enjoys throwing himself into playing this one in a way he doesn’t often do & he’s called “the piano arc” the first time he plays it. the nickname sticks but he likes it, so no harm done.

amie by pure prarie league - this was a fun song for echo to learn and he really enjoys how gentle it is. he’ll tap his foot with the music and just let himself go. sometimes he’ll catch himself moving his shoulders slightly as he plays but he doesn’t stop. when he plays this one, he prepares to hear his brothers hum it for at least a week afterward, it’s just that good.

house of the rising sun by the animals - this one isn’t heard until some time after he and jesse duet & echo exhibits his capacity to have a bit of gravel, which is absolutely heavenly when heard. there’s a lot of held-out notes here and a special kind of twang he’s able to finesse, it’s stunning.

skinny love by bon iver - he learned to play guitar to this song right here, it’s one of his faves and loves how tender & raw it can be. he’s heard covers of it that added too much to it & detracted from the intensity of the emotions, so he sticks with the original. it’s an extremely vulnerable song and it’s somber, but he enjoys baring himself without the risk of being shamed for it. several people cry the first time they hear him sing this song. (this one will turn into a fic as well, time tbd)

bad moon rising by creedence clearwater revival - echo sang this one for the first time tne night before the five-oh-first got their orders, which ended up being to felucia. there are always strange occurences when this song is sung & a few ppl will do anything to keep echo from singing it bc they think it’s an omen. everyone enjoys hearing the song, no doubt, but the moment it ends, some battalion or another is doomed to a bad assignment.

now if these two were to ever team up???? no one would be able to talk about anything else for weeks afterwards

you don’t mess around with jim by jim croce - they’re sitting on barstools in front of their mics, echo strumming on his guitar while jesse pats his thigh as a substitution to the drums. v playful vibes with this song and they can’t stop grinning as they sing. it’s fun and they’ll sometimes lightly tap each other with their feet throughout the performance to tease. lighthearted and always enjoyed.

all this and heaven too by florence + the machine - it’s got enough power for jesse but is also delicate enough for echo, achieving a great balance of their strengths as well as a tambourine. you’d probably think that jesse and a tambourine can cause as much trouble as hardcase with explosives, but he’s insanely focused on getting the hits right. no one expects to hear echo belt out such strong notes in contrast to his normal choices but damn they love it. and jesse?? softly breathing the verses with a delicateness no one thought he possessed?? they’re weak for them both.

soul shop by prophets and outlaws - they harmonize SO!!! DAMN!!! GOOD!!! echo playing the piano and jesse sitting on top of it just straight up VIBING. the entire bar is swaying with the music and letting themselves melt into the floor. none of them were prepared for echo to harness a little bit of gravel in his voice or for jesse to capture the melodic tone that echo doesn’t have to put effort into. this song, having a lot of soul and grit to it but is smoother than corellian whiskey, is a performance for the record books.

if y’all wanna hear more about these two darlings singing, or if you have any other headcanons you want to share/ask me abt, please don’t hesitate to pop into my asks!! i would love to hear from you!!