#and like i know i’m allowed to be mad
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#okay. observations about my mental state.#well first off it is bad#second off i feel like every emotion i feel is it’s own piece of me#with no overlap#when I am miserable that’s all i am and it feels like there’s no respite from that#when i’m happy i’m manic and overly energetic and i cling to it bc i know eventually i’ll be back to being sad and depressed#and recent update. the anger patch#maybe i want to believe these are all different personas or whatever (NOT SAYING THAT!! being so clear right now i do not believe that#it’s just what the experience feels like.)#but yeah i don’t want to think that the person i am when i’m angry is me#because it’s such an awful bitter feeling#and like i know i’m allowed to be mad#and given the shit i’m putting up with i mean who wouldn’t be#but it makes me so fucking unpleasant and i can FEEL that#just that directionless anger#and i feel like i can only condemn it after the fact in the moment I feel powerless to stop those feelings#uggghhh#anyways art imitates life or whatever
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“It’s fine if you present that way but don’t get mad when people misgender you”
Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up
#transgender#trans#queer#non binary#people like this are so fucking stupid#just because we present a certain doesn’t make someone inherently delusional#I’m aware of how I look actually isn’t that so crazy#in allowed to be upset but why would I be mad at someone else for that if they don’t know me
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I think more people should make peace with their dark sides, and I don’t mean that in an edgy way, I mean that in a “letting purity culture infect you to the point where you get frightened by even your own darker thoughts and impulses is NOT the healthy own you think it is” kind of way and
#you should be comfortable knowing you CAN get angry#you should be allowing yourselves to feel bad or angry or mad or even hateful without thinking you’re suddenly evil like#I think people who try to be positive and unproblematic and peaceful ALL the time are so unhealthy#personal txt#this isn’t about anything in particular I’m just sick of people thinking being angry is inherently problematic
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green beetle black beetle
#star wars#the original trilogy#boba fett#darth vader#hi. sorry for star war jumpscare. genuinely#i feel like ive kinda been on an art hiatus lately due to health stuff#i got diagnosed with a parathyroid disease recently (wahoo) so now i know why i have been feeling so bad! need more tests though#anyway. in the mean time most of the entertainment my brain can handle has been like. youtube clip compilations of shows and movies#not even the actual shows or movies. literally just sections of them on youtube#i wish i was joking#the only reason i know what happens in succession is because i have watched it in disjointed order in youtube compilations. not joking#anyway so ive learned a lot more about star wars than i ever. thought i would#mostly just the original trilogy and prequels. some of the old comics & books are interesting too#(sick to my stomach) i like darth vader he has like the same personality as ganondorf except he had no good reason for doing anything#when vader/anakin does literally anything weird or unacceptable it like. makes me laugh so hard its like jerma when he sees a car accident#boba fett’s costume design has been rotating in my head a lot too it’s very good#he’s very colorful and like. matte/unpolished compared to vader and it makes them a cool duo visually#those 2 are my favorites. vader why is the space cowboy the only person aside from sidious or tarkin who is allowed to get mad at you#sidious is my 3rd favorite. he sucks so bad as like a person that you just. you have no expectations of him except just being evil#so its just really funny like everything he does is horrible and he’s so happy all the time like good for him#i’m making it sound like ive never seen star wars before. i have i just never really cared about it until i got an endocrine disorder lmao#but yeah idk art may continue to be slow while im figuring out treatment stuff#if anyone reading this also has or has had hyperparathyroidism im wishing the strength & radiance of 1000 beautiful horses upon you
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Guys can we start tagging negativity with #911 negativity or #discourse or alike? Not to devalue anyones opinions, that’s fair, but I’d like to be able to filter negativity out.
#and listen you’re ALLOWED to be upset#you’re allowed to have things you hate/don’t like#BUT I scroll my dash and one after an other is just about why the show is bad#and I’m not even saying you’re wrong or anything but the negativity really bums me out#and I’d like to be able to scroll and not see it#is that fair?#once again I have no problem with the posts themselves#you’re allowed to have feelings#I get angry and mad too#but#I just don’t wanna see it all the time#this is not about any group in particular#this is just in general#I know people have been disappointed with episodes lately#and SAME but also I love this show and just wanna bask in the positive stuff#so can we tag it?#911 abc#911 fandom#discourse#911 discourse#911 negativity
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love seeing your takes on mouthwashing and how sane they are. everything's so black or white. I like how you acknowledge curlys abuse under jimmy (which I honestly didn't quite notice when I first watched a playthrough. should rewatch w this in mind) and how that very much doesn't "forgive" his inaction towards Anya and Her abuse under jimmy. I think what happens to him despite all his issues (bc he clearly wasn't OK 😊✌🏼) is very much karmic. I really did hurt huh
I hate the take that what happened to him is karmic as becoming disabled and being tortured is like not in any way an equal consequence for not taking more action against Jimmy. It is a consequence as is the whole game for everyone but it’s one that is very much established as being undeserved and extreme as everyone else’s but Jimmy’s fate.
Thank you for liking my takes but I also try to point out that this exact sort of framing of the events and what happened to Curly is bad especially if you are gonna factor in his own abuse into the equation of his inaction/ineffective acts. It’s like “saying yeah he deserved the abuse he was already going through to escalate because he didn’t do enough” which is like not a message the game tries to deliver at all. It’s like the game shows that abusers escalate
Karma and punishment are not concepts that I think should be directly tied to Curly’s fate especially since during the game and even in discussion he takes on too many consequences of someone else’s actions. Like this framing is the direct thing I describe taking the discussion away from Jimmy, P.E and the factors that created the environment in the first place.
#Maybe I’m just a bleeding heart for fictional characters that suffer but the fandom has a weird attachment to retribution#as if retribution is not a damning desire in the game like the game is about what happens when you#lack the capability to try and do better or go back on it and that is about all of them but mainly Jimmy and how it intensifies#the suffering of those around him like not saying Curly is excused but the think pieces about Curly make on whether he deserved it make it#sound like he was some empty headed dolt that didn’t know women faced oppression or had any issues of his own#and that he needed to be humbled to understand as if his toxic relationship with Jimmy is not an aspect in the forefront and his apathy in#life like becoming disabled isn’t karma yes his condition parallel Anya’s feeling but it’s also reveals all the way Jimmy was already#treating him poorly and how it got worse now that he had more power over him like again he harasses Anya still but noticed he takes out most#of his frustration on Curly now like idk what more I can say#I hate the idea someone deserves to be disabled and go through such a brutal experience comments like that are weird#like this is not an argument of Curly suffered too with Anya it is they are both suffering at all points with Jimmy#and it is not at all helpful to any conversation to try to scale and compare both their experiences against each other#but rather how they both reacted to Jimmy and how it affected how they handled/viewed everything pre and post crash#like I hope this hurts is likely a comment on the whole system that allowed it all to happen not specifically about any character or what#they did like it never did not hurt that’s the point none of the choices made felt good for anyone like sorry this is not about you anon#just the general sentiment of post crash curly and deserving cause by the logic people use then Swansea deserved to watch Daisuke suffer and#have to kill him because he didn’t kill Jimmy or support Anya better like it’s crazy to me#like yes represents him not being able to do more anymore but it is again pointed out to be unfair because of what resources they had#like he suffers due to P.Es restriction even when it comes to his care because they under supply them despite how long and dangerous#and isolating and short staffed their jobs are.#got a little heated sorry anon I just think the idea someone needs to suffer for what Jimmy did outside of Jimmy makes me mad#mainly because it’s never like realistic or just or acknowledges the facets of abuse#mouthwashing#ask#anon#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing
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WHY are BT shippers so vehemently against actually analyzing the symbolism and choices made for this show?
i mean i saw multiple people saying we were overthinking the vertigo poster. they were saying that it was weird to assume that Buck would fill the pining best friend role that Midge did in the original movie??? (haven’t seen the movie, i just read a few synopses)
i’m sorry, so you agree that he put Ryan Guzman in the main character and Devin Kelley as the love interest because they’ll fill those roles in the storyline, but we’re overthinking when we point out what role he put Oliver Stark in?
or when i bring up the possible symbolism of Tommy always calling him Evan, the only response i get from BT stans is “well he would tell him if he didn’t like it” or “i think it’s because he was introduced that way and that’s why” or even “i think he probably likes that Tommy calls him Evan” (all real responses i saw) and it’s like, yeah that’s cool, those are great headcanons for you, but that actually isn’t what i was talking about. nothing wrong with having a headcanon, but it doesn’t explain anything about the show or answer any of my questions.
i mean in s4 he corrected his PARENTS and told them his name was Buck, and in s6 it was used to emphasize the strangeness of his coma dream, how everyone was calling him Evan, the whole show him being called Evan has almost always been used to emphasize that someone doesn’t know him very well, how are y’all convinced that it’ll mean something different this time? i get that some people think it’s supposed to be growth, that he’s cool with being called his first name, but if that’s the goal it definitely isn’t reading that way to me.
like i wish i could see things through the same lens as these people so it could make sense to me, i just don’t get how you can willfully ignore SO many hints just so you can ship what you want.
no hate to the ship or the shippers obviously, i’m just baffled by the lengths they’ll go to in order to convince themselves that plot device man is endgame for Buck.
#buddie#i know now that i’m not allowed to tag this bucktommy#i still feel like i should but i know they’ll get mad at me#911#911 on abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#tommy kinard#and like it’s fine to ship what you want but why do you have to try and convince everyone it’s endgame?#like just ship it and be happy you get content#you actually don’t have to convince us to ship it as well#you don’t have to try and stop buddie fans from shipping what we want#you are actually allowed to ship what you want without trying to discredit everyone’s theories#plus like even if i’m wrong theories are still fun#even if the show turns out nothing like i’m predicting it will(it most definitely won’t turn out like my predictions)#i still had fun speculating#even if it is all over analyzed (it probably is) it’s still fun#also didn’t tim minear say this season would parallel s4?#in s4 it was HEAVILY emphasized in buck begins that his parents calling him Evan made him uncomfortable#if this season really does parallel s4 (not seeing it yet but idk) then that choice HAS to be intentional
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i hate that old nickelodeon shows are borderline unrewatchable because you now realize how many inappropriate and weird things were put into them by dan schneider. it genuinely makes me so angry that he was allowed to be in charge of writing the scripts for kids shows and no one stopped him from adding in sexual jokes and scenes. and now the shows are ruined and permanently uncomfortable to watch because you know why those scenes are there. i hate it.
#yes this is about henry danger#and it’s like every episode it’s not even avoidable#how this ever was allowed happened is insane to me#i know i’m not saying anything new or revolutionary here i’m just mad#i was going to rewatch henry danger but there’s so many weird things written into it that i couldn’t do it#i’m just pissed i thought i finally found a new show to watch#ciftrchats#rant post#that’s a first for me#henry danger#who would have thought i’d be making a post about henry danger on here#but that’s the end of that i watched 2 episodes and i can’t do it#no henry danger hyperfixation for me
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love being transgender , positivity, blah blah , whatever but i HATE GETTING SWERVED AND SPITROASTED BY CVS AMD PLANNED PARENTHOOD AFTER PAYING COLD HARD CASH FOR A GAY LITTLE APPOINTMENT THAT ALLOWS ME TO BUY FUCKING SYRUP THAT MAKES ME A MAN AND THEN NOT EVEN GETTIGN IT FOR SOME REASONI CANT EVEN CALL MY BITCH ASS 1 STAR RN PROVIDER AND BE LIKE HEYYYYYYYYY WHY IS MY THIGN ON HOLD :333BECAUSE HER NUMBERS JUST THE PP NUMBER AND WHENEVET I CALL THE PHARMACY OR PP ITS LIKE beep boop sorry go fuck yourself GOD
#allow me to complain#why why why#i know i’m overreacting but ITS JUST FUCKING STYPID#genuinely tweaking#GENUINELY#i can’t do anythign i’m not FUNCTIONAL LIKE THIS#IM SO MAD#and SAD#SMAD#UGGGGGSGSGGGGGG#need to take a chill pill#everything is going WRONF#THE FACT THTA I EVEN HAVE TO TAKE THE TESTOSTERONE INSTEAD OF BEING BORN W IT IS ALREADY FUCKING DUMVB WHY IS THIS SO ANNOYING AND DUMB#my “annual should be coming up soon#or whatever#BUT MORE LIKE NOT A FUCKING ANNUAL#BECAUSE IVE HAD THSI HAPPEN LIKE EVERYTIME I NEED A NEW PRESCRIPTION OR SOMETHIGN#I WOULD JUST LIKE TO CONSISTENTLY BE ON TGIS DRUG THANKS PLEASE AND THANKS!!!!!!!!#take all my money take my h#ouse
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so fucking funny that my dad (literally works with something that, supposedly, requires a good understanding of how ppl work) can’t help me move without having a mental break and yelling at me. whereas my mom who’s generally less social is able to get it done w me in a single day because she understands the basic concept of “if you are mad and mean at someone they will work less efficiently”
#but nooo the world is hard and mean and cold and i have to LEARN that.#anyways can you tell i’m glad i didn’t allow my dad to help me move out this year#sorry i just will never understand ppl who get mad when it would clearly just make the situation worse#and then they try to JUSTIFY it. like ok i understand it’s not always easy to control but like. don’t defend urself bestie#anger as an emotion. at least when it’s expressed in a genuinely mean spirited way. is so deeply unproductive#arambles#i think anger can be expressed in ways where it is actually important. but when your goal is clearly just to hurt the other person.#i think it’s genuinely idiotic sorry#like idk i’ll be mad at rama sometimes. becuase that’s what relationships are like. but i’d never want to HURT them#if i express anger it’s only to let them know they did somethign that upset me or whatever#sorry having lots of thoughts
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I’m not even gon hold y’all…..
That Widow Mythic is ass 🥴
#I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this#in other fandoms I’d get jumped for stuff like this#she’s one of my top 3 favorite characters in the game too so I’m like……#I’m still mad over the Ashe mythic cuz that one was ass too#widowmaker#overwatch widowmaker#team talon#overwatch 2#overwatch
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Y’all I cannot make this up. The two therapists I was with today ignored me ALL DAY…Except for when one of them joked in front of two other people that I must have been “so hungry” because I ate my grilled chicken leg “down to the bone.”
Huh??? That’s how you eat it??? If you’re gonna tease a fat girl, at least make it make sense??? That was so weak 😭
#sillyposting#grad tag#not even mad because I know how illogical her joke was#I just said ‘yep!’ and moved on 😂#like??? you can do better than that#you could have roasted me for using 3 sour cream packets on my potato and I would have laughed#or how I dared to eat a small piece of cake#(/s)#but eating chicken the way it’s supposed to be eaten??? embarrassing joke 0/10#I’m still scratching my head about it hours later lmao#thank you focalin for allowing me to think logically about this
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Just gonna say that mocking people for voicing their disappointment over the stream (spongebobscreamingwithflyingicecreamtruck.png “IN A CIVIL AND POLITE MANNER”) just makes you like. An asshole lmao. People are gonna be disappointed when they’re told they’re getting one thing and getting another no matter what, even if what they get instead is really good/funny.
#seeing this from both a lot of friends and mutuals and like! hey#as someone who is disappointed it’s really bothering me seeing people who I like say rude shit that applies to me?#like yeah. hlvrai fandom is annoying we know this. yeah there’s a lot of people being dicks abt this and they suck but like#dude this was the one thing getting me through finals and failing a class im allowed to say ‘hey im disappointed the thing related to my#special interest turned out to be a trick.’ even though I still enjoyed what I watched#like yeah. I’m upset. I’m really upset actually#not over the stream being a bait in switch but from peoples reactions to it on both sides of the fence lmao#everyone is being a big fucking baby over it. the hlvrai fans yelling about how much they hate RTVS ANNNNNND the people being like#‘erm if you’re disappointed you’re a fake fan. grow up. stay mad.’ like WOW#harassing RTVS over this makes you a loser. making fun of people for being disappointed makes you a loser. congratulations youre all a bunch#of whiny ass babies screaming at eachother and at each others throats over fucking half life funny#each and everyone one of you
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The internet don’t make every slightly plus size actors performance about their weight challenge impossible
#sorry I’m thinking about this again and it’s making me kind of mad#like I feel like this happens so much still where a larger actor will get cast in a role where they’re meant to be desirable#then they get asked in constantly how it feels and how empowering it is#like can we as fat people just like exist and allowed to be hot without it being seen as this huge rebellion against culture#it’s not empowering for people to keep fixating on your weight and asking you about it#plus size#whoops I don’t know how to tag this
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fuck I can’t believe I have to say this but you know it’s not stupid or even immoral to have hope even when things are objectively bad right?? you do know that finding fault in literally everything and never permitting yourself to ever relax or be positive or hope for the best is ACTIVELY BAD FOR YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH, RIGHT?? PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOU KNOW THIS!!!
#I know this is the ‘nuance is illegal and makes you a bootlicker’ website but PLEASE#I’ve already seen so many posts and memes being like ‘who cares that we could have a female president when the us is still evil??’#like??? it’s been 24 hours and everyone’s already doing the thing they promised they wouldn’t#the us has been complicit in the situation with Israel and Palestine for decades now#every president you’ve voted for every president I’ve voted for every president we haven’t voted for has been complicit#I know it comforts you to think there’s some alternative that allows you to distance yourself from that suffering#But there isn’t#Your tax dollars have contributed to it as have mine#That sucks and we’re right to hate it and be mad about it#but we have a binary choice in November#both sides of which are Not Great on the Palestine issue but one of which is Much Worse#people are allowed to be multi-issue voters#It is in fact the only way the us system will allow it to work#people are allowed to say my vote will maybe make a difference in abortion access; trans and gay rights; student loans; inflation#minimum wage; healthcare access and costs; and the supreme court and whatever else they care about#it’s not wrong to think that way#it’s the only way we’re not going to worry ourselves down into little nubs by November#I’m sorry I know it’s bleak but I need yall to be adults about this#I need yall to show yourselves and your fellow citizens (not just in the us but everywhere) some damn compassion#If hope isn’t a weapon that you wield easily I’m going to need you to practice okay?#things will get better#there’s no other choice
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brunch was very good except towards the end we got to talking about elden ring bc my friend is a big fromsoft fan & i said “yeah it’s too bad it’s so hard for me, i should give it another chance but i don’t enjoy games that are that hard” (well-trodden ground, we have had this conversation before) and then she started lecturing me about how it’s not that hard, actually, people just say it’s really hard, and if you play it the right way (inscrutable rules known only to people familiar with the franchise) it’s really much easier, you didn’t try hard enough and should try again, it’s not that big a deal you can’t pause, you just need to find a save spot and here’s where they are (useless information to me), etc. and like the thing is that i was already saying that i should give it another chance. but i was also saying that i recognize that im not the intended audience for those types of games and KNEW that when i purchased it but wanted to give it a try because everyone else looked like they were having a lot of fun. im an EXTREMELY casual gamer. i barely play video games at all, let alone difficult ones. you telling me that im wrong for recognizing that something isn’t for me isn’t gonna make me play your game. i know my own mind. and this conversation actually makes me never want to play a video game ever again!
#it’s not that big a deal i know she just wants me to play bc she loves it so much#but like if i tell you it’s hard for me and i didn’t have fun then don’t tell me im wrong for feeling that way#especially since i said i WOULD play again some day!#and then she did some other stuff i didn’t like and got mad at me for saying something about it but i wont get into it#i shouldn’t post this but i’m irritated. whatever im allowed to complain#chatpost#i have to figure out what i’m gonna do with the rest of my day. maybe i should play a video game actually#not elden ring though#also if you come on this post & tell me elden ring isn’t that hard actually i WILL kill you.
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