#and like 40 different kinds of donuts

[kaiba-cave]

Saw a tiktok that was like “I need a Canadian to explain to me why I went to Tim Hortons once, didn’t like it, and have been back every day for the past six days”.

It’s just like that. 😔 Pretty much anywhere else has better coffee/food/baked goods/basically everything but Tim Hortons will still have a drive thru line up out to the road every single morning and probably around noon too.

It’s like it gets into your bloodstream and you’re just compelled to go there all the time even though it’s not even good.

(It probably also helps that they are everywhere lmao. Like you’ll drive by ten different Tim’s before getting to a McDonald’s or Starbucks.)

[roosterforme]

The Younger Kind Part 40 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: When Casey is obnoxious to you once again, you try your best to go about your day even though you're on the verge of tears. Bradley knew he shouldn't have been lying to you, but he didn't see any other way of dealing with things. Especially not when he was making some last minute changes.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, mentions of smut and age gap (18+)

Length: 5000 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

Bradley didn't answer his phone when you called him on your way to work. Casey was trying to bait you, of that you were almost positive. But Bradley was acting strange all on his own, and the twin bakery boxes made you a little more anxious than you wanted to admit, even to yourself. 

This was going to be the downside to being with Bradley. He was older and sexy and had a real job and a cute kid, and other people were always going to take notice of that. But he put you in his will. He'd talked about rings, and you'd seen them in his internet tabs. There was no way he wasn't serious about this, because even if he was messing with you, he wouldn't mess with Noah. 

But you still felt jealous and petty as you drove to work. That crown shaped donut was adorable and delicious, but at what cost? Now you wished you had taken the time to see what was inside the pastry box Casey had at the daycare. You called Bradley one more time as you walked into work, but of course he didn't answer even though he should still have his phone on him at this hour. The urge to text or call Natasha was strong right now.

After you took care of a few of your patients, you caved and dug your phone out of your bag. Bradley finally responded to you.

Bradley Bradshaw: Hey, I know you said you're going grocery shopping on your way home today, but I need you to pick up Noah. I'll be late again.

You rolled your eyes as you texted him back.

Why exactly will you be late today?

You didn't have time to wait for a response, because you had to get the exam rooms ready for the upcoming patients. Dr. Kelly was dealing with an emergency in exam room one, and there was another child throwing up all over the waiting room. At the rate you were going here, you'd be lucky if you could even get to Noah on time after work. You felt like you were being pulled in four different directions, and you weren't in the mood for Bradley's bullshit. 

When nobody else wanted to clean up the waiting room, you went ahead and did it without complaining; it wasn't that kid's fault he had food poisoning. But you ended up crawling around on the floor for fifteen minutes with rubber gloves on, and then you just got more backed up with the child who was waiting for you in the last exam room. You didn't have time to eat lunch, but you took a quick bathroom break and checked your phone. 

There was nothing from Bradley, but Natasha had texted asking what you were wearing to Admiral Bates' retirement party. You pressed your lips together and took a screenshot of the poofy purple skirt and top that should be arriving today and sent it to her. Before she could respond, you sent another quick message.

Are you working late with Bradley today? Did you have to work late with him yesterday?

You used the bathroom and washed your hands, and you checked your phone one last time. 

Natasha Trace: I haven't been working late, and I followed him out of the parking garage yesterday. That shade of purple is going to look stunning next to Bradley's dress whites. I can't decide between my own dress whites or a formal gown. What's your opinion? Look like one of the guys or look like I'm trying too hard? Like I can't fucking win here, you know?

You absolutely loved that she wanted to ramble to you about her black tie options, you really did. But now you felt uncomfortable in your own skin. She just confirmed for you that Bradley left work on time yesterday. At the bare minimum he was lying to you again, but he could be doing something behind your back that would hurt you even more than that.

"Fuck," you muttered, knowing you had to get back to work. You smiled at your patients and let them take their time picking out stickers all afternoon. You cleaned and disinfected the exam rooms. You entered all of the information into the electronic charts while you answered questions for parents. You did it all without freaking out like you wanted to. 

When you were dismissed, you grabbed your things and rushed to your car to make it to the daycare in time to get Noah. Tears already stung your eyes, because you just knew you'd feel so much better when you got to see him and get a hug. You were still trying to decide if it was better or worse if Casey was still here as you parked and headed inside. Then her eyes locked with yours as soon as you entered the small lobby, and she still looked so smug in her cute outfit. But at least this meant she wasn't with Bradley. 

"Oh, it's you again," she said pleasantly as you walked to the counter. 

You put your hand out for the clipboard and said, "Yep. It's me. Told you I wasn't going anywhere. Could you please bring Noah out?"

"I will," she replied, reaching into that fucking blue box and pulling out a crown shaped donut. She nibbled on the end before setting it down again and handing you the clipboard. "You're the last one to arrive for pickup, which actually makes sense when I think about it. Bradley has you running all over the place for him, doesn't he?"

You ground your molars together to keep your mouth shut and signed your name as she took another bite of the donut. 

"I guess that's what babysitters do though. But it's funny that he didn't mention you at all when he and I were at the bakery yesterday."

Your eyes snapped up to meet her self satisfied gaze, and you wanted to rip that pretty donut out of her hand. "Just go get Noah."

"Gladly," she replied, heading for the classroom door. "You're holding me up right now anyway. I need to get back to Sweet Dreams to meet up with someone who looks damn good in a pair of aviator sunglasses. It's so nice having the best bakery in the city right in my neighborhood. It's a great spot to meet up with people."

If Bradley came home with another blue pastry box and claimed he was at work late again, you were going to throw the box back in his pretty face. 

"Mommy!" Noah called as he streaked across the lobby to you a second later. "I painted a purple dog for you!" He was holding up a painting of a purple blob with eyes and a nose, and you couldn't hold back your smile. 

"I love it," you whispered as you picked him up and kissed his chubby cheek. You made the decision to completely ignore Casey as you turned and walked out to the parking lot. "Hey, we need to stop and get groceries, so how about you pick what you want for dinner tonight."

He looked at you with those brown eyes that were identical to his dad's, except that these ones didn't have to try to look innocent, they just were. "Probably mac and cheese and ants on logs."

"Sounds perfect."

Once you and he got inside the grocery store, you were feeling extra ridiculous. You thought about making it a point to run up Bradley's credit card bill as high as you could by selecting imported exotic fruits and a bottle of champagne, but you just couldn't waste the money. You did buy yourself some expensive chocolate that you ate on the drive home though as you wondered just how late he was going to be tonight. 

You were kind of shocked as you pulled down the block with Noah and a trunk full of groceries to see the Bronco parked in the driveway. It was 6:45, so he must have arrived just before you, and you couldn't wait to put him on the spot. You slammed your door before unbuckling Noah from his seat in the back, and you really did feel like the fucking babysitter again right now. 

"Let's go, sweet Noah," you told him, leaving the groceries where they were for now. Hand in hand, the two of you walked up to the porch while he told you how many raisins he wanted on his carrots, but you barely heard him. When you opened the front door, Bradley was standing right there in the middle of the living room with a stupid smile on his face. He was holding another blue pastry box. 

"Hi," he said, leaning down to kiss you, but you backed away. His face scrunched in concern. "Everything okay?"

Noah was already bugging to see what was in the box this time, and you noticed Bradley had his other hand tucked behind his broad back. 

"I mean... no, not really," you said, slightly embarrassed by the way your voice shook. "Did you see Casey at the bakery again today? Just like last night?"

He looked completely taken aback. "How did you know I saw Casey last night?"

You crossed your arms over your chest and whispered, "Why do you keep lying to me about coming home late?"

Bradley sighed and pressed his lips together. "Look, I didn't want to have to lie to you, okay? That wasn't really my original plan, but then things got a little out of hand, and I didn't really see any other option."

"Just say it," you whispered, ready to reach for the box as your hands shook.

"I just wanted it to be a surprise," he said blandly as he pulled his hand out from behind his back. You gasped, and Noah immediately gave up on his mission to get something sweet out of the blue box.

"A dog!" Noah shouted as you looked at the tiny little Yorkshire terrier that Bradley was holding around the middle with one hand. It had a purple bow on top of its head and one leg in a cast, and it was honestly one of the cutest things you'd ever seen in your life. "A dog! A dog!" 

Bradley dropped down to kneel so Noah could get a closer look, but he kept his eyes on you as he said, "I adopted her from the shelter across town. It's on the same block as that fancy bakery. She has a broken leg, so we need to be really gentle with her while she's healing, okay?" He set the box down on the floor and sat with Noah, and now you were feeling pretty embarrassed. You still wanted to know what Casey was doing, but you tentatively sat down on the floor as well. 

When Bradley held his other arm out, you crawled in to give him a huge while Noah petted the little brown bundle of fur. He was showing how gently he could be, and the dog started licking his hands. You kissed Bradley's cheek, but he looked a little stern as he softly said, "You know I did this for you, right? You and Noah."

You didn't know what else to say, so you simply said, "Thank you."

He sighed and kissed your lips. "I saw Casey for like five minutes while I waited in line to buy your crown donut, okay? The guy from the shelter needed to interview me about getting a dog with an injury, so he and I sat in the bakery for a while and talked. I dropped off a check this afternoon, because they don't accept app payments, and I stopped at the bakery again for you. Then the guy from the shelter came by and did a quick inspection of the house and our backyard like an hour ago. And he left the dog with me. That's all."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and whispered, "I love you, and I love the dog. And I'm happy you got to use your checkbook without anyone laughing at you."

Bradley chuckled as you ran your fingers through the dog's fur. She looked up at you with brown eyes that you swore perfectly matched those of the Bradshaw boys. 

"What's her name?" Noah asked as he got his face licked.

"Whatever you want it to be," Bradley replied. "She doesn't have one yet."

You and Noah made eye contact and both smiled brightly. "Skittles!"

Bradley groaned and laid back on the area rug right next to the snag, and he plopped Skittles down on his chest. "You already had a name picked out? And it's Skittles?"

"Yes!" Noah replied, also laying on Bradley's chest to get better access to his new pet.

"We picked a name that could work for a boy dog or a girl dog," you told Bradley, your heart feeling lighter than it had for the past day. "She's so adorable," you crooned as you ran your dand down her back. "Hi, Skittles. You're precious." Her brown eyes were transfixed on your face as you scratched just the right spot behind her ear. "Why is she in a cast?"

Bradley propped his hands behind his head, and the pup carefully walked up to lick his neck and face as you took a few pictures. "Hit by a car. She was abandoned down near Imperial Beach and someone dropped her at the shelter last week. I mentioned I was looking for a small puppy or younger dog that didn't shed, and Bob found her on the shelter website."

"You were left all alone? You sweet thing," you whispered, getting close enough for a lick across your nose. "She's darling!"

"Can she sleep with me in my bed?" Noah asked as Skittles climbed carefully onto Bradley's bicep and then onto the rug. She sniffed around the pastry box before plopping down bedside Bradley with her broken leg sticking out in front of her. 

"Maybe after her cast comes off, Bub."

Noah tried his best to pout, but you saw right through it, and a few seconds later he was smiling again. "Noah, what do you say to Daddy?" you reminded him. Then he was in Bradley's arms saying thank you a million times in a row.

------------------------

While Bradley unloaded the groceries, you and Noah played on the living room floor with Skittles. He shook his head as he locked your car. "Skittles," he muttered, hauling the last few bags inside. "You've got to be shitting me." He chuckled to himself. You'd come into his life with your candy and your glossy lips and your sweetness and upended everything. He owned a fucking dog now, and you'd named it after your favorite snack. He even had a reminder in his phone to pay off his credit card balance so he could start shopping for a ring next month.

You smiled up at him from the floor as Noah squeaked a toy and held it out to the dog. Damn it, she was actually adorable. And the shelter gave her a little purple bow when he asked for that color. And she definitely had the puppy eyes down pat, because Bradley couldn't even walk through the room without stopping to pet her. 

He ended up carrying Skittles around the house for the rest of the night after you made mac and cheese for dinner. The dog was already trained to go to the bathroom outside, but he needed to be careful with her cast. The staff from the animal shelter had absolutely grilled him for information before they even came out to inspect whether or not the house and yard were safe for her. 

"Yeah, this is your yard now," he whispered to the dog as he carried her outside in one hand. She licked his cheek before he set her down and watched her sniff around as it got darker outside. She was only a year or two old, which is what he wanted. This way Noah and potentially his younger sibling could have more time with her as the dog grew older. 

"Come here," Bradley called, and Skittles moved as quickly as her little casted leg would allow her to. She stopped at his feet and looked up at him. "Fuck. You really are cute. And I'm going to look like an asshole when I take you for walks." But he was smiling as he picked her up again. When he turned, you were standing in the open doorway.

"You won't look like an asshole, Daddy. You'll look as adorable as Skittles does."

He kissed your forehead and asked, "Is Noah in bed?"

"Yeah. He wants you to go in and say goodnight. And may I please hold the dog for a few minutes?" you asked with a little pout. 

"Nope," he replied, kissing your cheek. "Gotta let Noah say goodnight to her, too."

"Then can I play with her?"

Bradley held the dog's face up to his ear. "What's that, Skittles? You said you like me the best and want me to keep holding you? That's what I thought."

"Hey!" you complained, playfully hitting his arm as the pup licked his ear. You looked happier right now than you had earlier, but Bradley knew he needed to have a conversation about Casey. He couldn't understand what set you off so much earlier. 

As he carried Skittles toward Noah's room, he replayed the events from yesterday in his mind. He'd been sitting in the bakery for about an hour before he finished talking to the representative from the animal shelter, and when he stood up, Casey was already there. And yeah, she was a nuisance as usual. She put her hand on Bradley's forearm and mentioned that she liked his uniform, but she always tried to do that shit. Then she waited in line like she was with him instead of behind or in front of him, and she went on and on about how she lived right around the corner.

When he finally managed to leave with the bakery box and your cute donut, he was exhausted. And he'd only had to listen to her for a few minutes. Then she stood next to the Bronco with him like she expected a ride home or something, which was ridiculous since she told him so many times that she lived around the corner. 

He sighed and kissed Skittles on the head as he carried her in to say goodnight to Noah. "I love her," his son said as Bradley held her so she could lick his face. "I'll be really careful so she can sleep in here with me," he pleaded. 

Bradley kissed his cheek. "Not tonight, Bub. I already told you, she needs to heal up first."

Noah reached out to pet her before rolling onto his side with a little scowl, but he was already asleep by the time Bradley left the room. And then he went into his bedroom which always smelled like wildflowers and found you on the bed wearing that sexy little purple nightie you bought online. For a brief second he wondered if you were wearing your plug, but then he remembered he needed to have a conversation with you. 

You held your hands out to Skittles, but Bradley just shook his head and carried her to the little plush bed he set up in the corner and set her there. She walked in a delicate circle before plopping down and yawning. "How are you this cute?" he asked the animal before turning back to where you were sitting with your arms crossed.

"Why won't you let me hold Skittles?"

"Because we need to talk," he replied immediately. You flopped back against the pillows as Bradley climbed in bed with you. "Come here," he whispered, patting his chest, and sure enough, you crawled over and snuggled against him. "Tell me what's bothering you."

You draped your arm across his abs and said, "You won't let me hold Skittles!"

"That's not what I'm talking about," he murmured, kissing the top of your head. He didn't want to have to be the one to say it, so he stroked your bare arm and waited. 

You sighed softly and said, "Casey always tries to bait me when I see her at daycare dropoff or pick up. I'm sorry I came in hot with you today. But you should hear what she says."

Bradley thought he'd made it clear that he wasn't interested in her after he returned from his last deployment. He made no secret of grabbing at you and kissing you in front of Casey. He knew it was probably because you and she were the same age, and Casey definitely saw the way he doted on you. "She's probably just jealous, because I like to spoil you."

You snorted. "She's jealous, because you're hot, Daddy."

Bradley could feel his cheeks flush with heat as you shifted slightly and looked up at him. "What did she say to you today?" he asked.

Your eyes fluttered closed in embarrassment, and you looked bashful as you whispered, "She made it seem like she met you at the bakery. Like it was something you and she planned ahead of time. And she had a blue bakery box and a princess crown donut, and she ate it in front of me. And now I'm starting to realize how ridiculous this sounds, because I trust you."

"I know you do, Princess," he replied as he looked at your purple crown on the bedpost. "And I trust you. But I just can't believe she did that." He studied your gorgeous face and ran his knuckles along your cheek. "I'm sorry I lied to you about staying at work late. That was shitty. I just wanted you and Noah both to be surprised since you've both been bugging for a dog. I just wanted to get you something special."

"Apology accepted. And dog accepted, too," you whispered as he stroked the soft skin of your neck.

"Listen. I'm not interested in Casey. I'm never going to be interested in Casey. I saw her for five or ten minutes at the bakery, and she asked why I was on that side of town. I told her the other guy was from the shelter and I was thinking about getting a dog. She waited with me in line and practically gave me a migraine from how much she talks. I didn't pay attention to what she bought, so if she had a princess crown donut, then she bought it herself."

You smiled up at him. "Those donuts are so good. Pissed me off that she had one and tried to rub it in my face. She must have heard what you ordered."

He smirked. "Yeah well, you're the one getting cream filled donuts and a cream filled pussy anytime you want."

"Daddy!" you gasped. "That's fucking naughty."

"Get up here," he whispered, and then you moved up his body until your lips met his. "I love you. You're Noah's mommy. You're my Princess. I want to be with you. Don't worry about Casey." But he knew he'd have to have another conversation tomorrow, which he was more than happy to do for you. 

You pressed soft kisses to his mustache as he ran his hand up your thigh, curious if you were wearing panties. You were not. "You know what I really want, Daddy?"

"Tell me, and I'll give it to you."

You gently bit his bottom lip before releasing it and giggling. "I want to play with Skittles."

Bradley groaned as you scrambled off of his semi hard cock and climbed out of bed. He got a delicious view of your bare ass as you bent to pick the dog up and carry her back to bed. "You're the cutest little girl! Look at you in your purple bow! Oh, I just love you!"

Then he watched as you climbed back onto the bed with all the care in the world and had the pup cradled against you. When he chuckled and left the room, you didn't even seem to notice. He used the bathroom and went to the kitchen in search of the blue pastry box while he planned out what he'd say to Casey. He wasn't about to tolerate someone intentionally making you uncomfortable, especially when it came to him. 

He grabbed a plate and the fresh princess crown donut, wondering if he could get the bakery to make one that looked like a wedding ring. Then he carried the plate back to the bedroom where Skittles was laying on her back while you tickled her tummy. Bradley just stood there and held the plate as he watched you play and listened to you laugh. You kissed the dog and said, "I'm going to buy you a purple collar and leash with Daddy's credit card. And when your cast comes off, Noah and I will take you for hikes around the block. And Daddy is so big, he's going to look so hot walking such a tiny dog. Either that, or he'll look like an asshole."

"I'm standing right here." 

You smirked when you looked at him. "I know," you said, scratching Skittles on her belly as she squirmed around. "Is it okay if I order her a leash and some snacks?"

"Get whatever you want," he said, handing you the plate and kissing you before he stole the dog from your grasp.

"Hey!" you complained with a laugh.

"It's time for Skittles to go to bed. Eat your princess donut, and then I'll fill you with cream if you're in the mood for it."

You just looked at him coyly as you nibbled on the donut, and he put the pup in her little bed once again.

-----------------------

The next morning, Bradley let you sleep in a little later than usual while he got Noah ready and packed you a sandwich for your lunch. He'd kept you up pretty late, fucking you slow and steady until he got a shaking orgasm out of you. Then he took his time as you babbled and kissed him sweetly, finally filling you up with his cum. He called you his little donut as you fell asleep. 

"Fuck," he grunted as he thought about it, starting to get hard in his flight suit as he made your peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

"Morning," you sang as you strolled into the kitchen in your scrubs. You kissed his cheek and then pet Skittles where she sat looking up at the sandwich, hoping some would fall on the floor. Then you sat down next to Noah as he ate his cereal and told you that he loved Skittles even more than dinosaurs.

"More than dinosaurs?" you asked, brushing his hair back from his forehead as he dipped his spoon back into his bowl. "That's a whole lot."

"Yep," he agreed. "I love Skittles almost as much as I love you and Daddy."

Bradley watched you kiss his son on the cheek before you got your own bowl of cereal ready. "Should we thank Daddy again for bringing her home?"

"Thanks, Daddy," you and Noah sang out in unison. 

Bradley just smiled and said, "You're welcome. Noah, finish eating so we're not late. Princess, can you put Skittles in her crate before you leave?"

"Yes," you told him between bites of breakfast. "And I'll order her leash and stuff later today."

He kissed you hard before bringing you coffee in the mug that said Noah's Daddy. Then he scooped Noah up and carried him off to get his shoes on. It was getting seriously late at this point, and he knew he'd be in the daycare for an extra minute or two this morning. "I love you, Baby," he called out, rushing back into the kitchen for a second when he was finally ready to leave. 

You gave him and Noah one last kiss apiece, and then Noah hugged Skittles. "We gotta go," Bradley told him, rushing him out to the Bronco. It only took a few minutes to get to the daycare, and Bradley had a good idea what he wanted to say. He found himself hoping that Casey was at the front desk this morning, not wanting to draw this shit out any longer. 

When he walked Noah inside, hand in hand, Bradley saw her right away. She looked up at him with parted lips and a little smile as he tugged his aviators off. Then she looked at his son and said, "Good morning, Noah!" Her eyes darted back up as she added in a softer voice, "And Bradley."

He watched her walk Noah into the classroom before he signed his name on the clipboard. When Casey walked back toward him, there was nobody else in the lobby. He held out the clipboard for her and said, "I'd actually prefer it if you called me Lieutenant Bradshaw."

She giggled as if she was being treated to something even better than use of his first name, and Bradley had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. "Okay, Lieutenant Bradshaw," she whispered, tossing her hair over her shoulder. 

He cleared his throat. "Can we chat for a minute?"

Casey set the clipboard down and came to stand alarmingly close to him. This was every bit as bad as you had claimed, and frankly he was more than a little bit surprised by how bold she was. Bradley took a step away and shook his head. "Look Casey, this is never going to happen."

She froze on the spot, and her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. "Oh."

"Right. And I really don't want to have to go to your boss, so I need you to just knock it off, okay? My girl and I don't keep secrets from each other, so I know about how you talk to her, and I don't appreciate it at all. She's as good as being Noah's mom and my wife."

Now her cheeks were a deeper shade of red, and she was rushing back around to the other side of the desk. "Okay," she whispered. "I'm just surprised she said something to you about it."

"Don't be. Like I said, we talk about everything. And if you pull some more shit, I'll hear about that, too. Promise."

He stood his ground until she looked up at him. All she said was, "Okay," and then Bradley put his aviators back on as he turned toward the door. 

"You have a great day."

-----------------------------

Casey, you literal nightmare. She'd be delighted if she broke them up. Can't wait to see her next time Princess shows up. And Daddy shouldn't even try to be sneaky. Just no, Daddy. But welcome, Skittles! Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 41

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[rowanfalls]

No joke, I think dungeon meshi has seriously impacted my desire to be healthy for the better. A very long and heartfelt (but spoiler free) essay is under the cut.

I have Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. Because of my OCD, some foods are safe and some are not and I would literally rather starve than eat an unsafe food (i know because it happened once on a trip to Switzerland). This means I mostly eat chicken nuggets, buttered noodles, donuts, soda, the like. The only vegetable I can eat is cooked broccoli and the only fruit I can eat is apples (smoothies not withstanding).

I'm also physically disabled in a way that makes it hard for me to exercise or do physical activity, not to mention how my ADHD and Depression fuck with that as well. I'm 'lucky'* in that I have a genetic disposition towards being very thin and probably will stay that way until I'm in my 40s (my dad was exactly the same at my age).

So I eat mostly junk food and I sit at my computer all day every day and for a long time, I've been happy with that. When I tell people about my Eating Disorder, they usually say "oh, is there a way to fix it?" and my answer is always "why would I want to?" Its not like an allergy or a medical dietary restriction. I don't LIKE any of the foods I can't eat. I don't have any reason to want to learn how to eat them.

Besides health reasons of course. I know in my head that not eating any vegetables isn't good for me but I also know that I don't really want to eat them and, for most of my adulthood, I've lived with the mindset that I think a lot of people my age have where they hear so many people say 'just eat well and exercise!' as a solution to every problem and so they tend to hate the idea of doing that. The health industry is full of too many people who are fatphobic assholes or who think a green smoothie can cure your depression for good or who just want your money or whatever and I hate that. And so I've kind of felt above exercise and nutrition.

But then I read Dungeon Meshi.

Even in the beginning, the manga was super inspiring. The way Senshi talks about taking care of your body so you can go on adventures makes it sound like something I might want to do. So much of today's health advice is shame based and, as someone who grew up in and left a high demand control group, I work hard not to tolerate shame in my life. But Dungeon Meshi posits a new view of health and nutrition, one that is centered in love for the self, love for your friends, and love for your food. It resonated with me in a way that I really wasn't expecting it to.

Over the last few years, I've been working really hard to become a compassionate person. This year, my new goal is learning to turn that compassion inward and I've been trying to do that in several different ways. When I finished reading Dungeon Meshi I knew that one of those ways was going to have to be improving my diet and exercise.

I want to be able to go on adventures (as tame and simple as they may be). I want to live as long as possible to spend time with my loved ones. I want to be able to walk around and exist without pain for as much of that time as I can. I want to love my body and act accordingly, making sure it is well fed and cared for. Hell, I've always loved the idea of cooking but haven't had the energy to really learn, especially since I can't eat most foods, but now the idea of taking the time to cultivate a skill like that, one that I can be proud of and that can be used to care for my friends, fills me with a sense of hope and excitement.

So thank you Dungeon Meshi, and thank you Ryoko Kui. If you haven't read the manga, I highly recommend that you do.

*by lucky I mean that my diet hasn't forced me to deal with the stigma that comes with being fat. I have no idea what kinds of problems it's been causing that I just can't see. I am not saying that it would be bad if I were fat, just that not being thin would mean I faced a lot more stigma and discrimination in my life, which is bad.

[nerdragenewvegas]

I am on my hands and knees begging people to remember that media is media at the end of the day and none of it actually matters. You can turn off your computer. You can press the 'x'. I used to hate being told that but I also didn't used to live in a world where climate change was going to kill us all and I wasn't bearing witness every single day to children being murdered en masse in Palestine. If your biggest problem is something relating to a video game or TV series or book you like or whatever, you are an incredibly lucky person. No one's life is perfect, we all have struggles and some of us are subject to aggressions or abuse or oppression that others aren't -- but if your biggest problem today is that someone tagged a fanfiction with the wrong ship or someone said something mean about a character you like? Sounds like you're having a pretty good day compared to people who's biggest problem is making sure they have shelter or making sure their kids can eat that day.

You can be upset about things, of course. Your feelings, no matter what, are valid. We're human beings and emotions are emotions and part of the human experience. I'm not saying 'don't be mad,' I'm saying you should probably take five minutes and evaluate if the thing you're upset about is really worth the fight you're about to get into about it. What's worse, getting upset about fanart? Or getting upset about fanart and spending the rest of the day arguing with a stranger about it online and wasting an entire day of the cruelly short time we get on this earth?

Death is sudden and quick and cold. It's not always growing old. It's not always reaching 50 or even 40. Some people just drop dead in the middle of a conversation. Someone else hears a thud in the next room and that's it. Time is so fucking finite. I am begging you to not waste the extremely valuable time you have arguing about stupid shit on the internet, because it's not something you'll be remembered for. Go and create or be kind or literally anything productive. You are so lucky to have the opportunity to do that, lots of people don't. EDIT: Also, because apparently you have to say everything incredibly literally on this website because it's become twitter in terms of 'you said you like bagels??? WHY DO YOU HATE DONUTS???' -- obviously it's a little different if you're, say, calling out racism or genuinely harmful shit. I'm not talking about that here.

[mamabearwonders]

I haven't slept. But I got to have a call with my little fox 🦊 and talk to some very close friends. Worth it.⭐ All of our sleep schedules have been so off not that we really had one in the first place.

I've been sicker than usual and now I got a cough. I feel like me being stuck inside is not helping. I have some energy today so I'm going to go to the movies and watch Wonka. It's a $5 cinema. It's a nice 40 minute bus ride there, I like the ride. I can think. Peaceful. Usually being in my own head is not peaceful, but it's different on a bus for whatever reason.

Also right next to a thrift store and a little shopping center like a mini mall. Yeah those still exist lol, but I like it. I'll see if I have the strength to walk around a bit.

It's a cute little cinema. I've been craving movie theater popcorn and I'm like I spend so much money on comfort fast food why not take the cost of what I would spend at a place I always go to and just treat myself to a movie and something I've been craving?

Plus I want to check out the thrift shop next door to the theater. I haven't been there in forever and it's really nice. They employ a lot of folks with down syndrome well as folks all across the developmental and intellectual spectrum.

It's a really cool thrift store. Last time I was in there I found a rainbow brite DVD still sealed from the 1980s (the gif). 🦄

I'm going to buy myself a little box of donuts on my way. I got some for some special close friends of mine whom I love very dearly and May always take care of me. They showed me the ropes on stardew valley today and patient with me and cracking me up despite me knowing nothing lol.

They also inspired me to start looking for jobs that I can do. Applied for some that would be working among my communities instead of people in power (like doctors who often don't listen) doing like caregiving sort of jobs (like what they do). And looking into a hair and skin care routine which is long overdue.

The movie starts at 7 p. m. I wish that it started at like 5:00 p.m. but it's okay. I just am not familiar with the area and just kind of want to get home.

I love my friend family. They truly keep me going. 🌈 ⛈️

[deaddee-anime-brownfanlady]

I swear I can't fucking stand the fact that within this modern day and age is that you'll still have certain manga artists and anime creators that still can't properly do black character designs.

I get so sick of seeing donut lips on some black characters within both anime and manga, although I'm seeing far better black characters designs in newer anime now. But it's something I still notice within some manga or certain black characters in anime.

Seriously!? It isn't that difficult to draw black people without invoking racist blackface minstrel shows caricatures from the 1920s and 40s.

I hate how you always have some white anime fans that always make up some kind of bullshit excuses for this crap or try to double down on their own racial ignorance and not even listening why said design has awful historical connotations tied to it.

Or how some act like Japanese creators can't be criticized for some strange reason. How some have this weird mentality thinking that Japanese creators within anime and manga are incapable of criticism of any kind, especially in terms of design choices for black characters.

It's has always been one of my top issues with anime and manga, which I still deeply love... but I feel there's shouldn't be excuses to not properly draw black people in this day & age.

I've seen many highly skilled and talented black artists on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, etc, that can do black characters' designs in all kinds of different anime styles, and guess what? They don't look like bad blackface minstrels.

Hell! Manga artist Shirahama Kamome is able to do black characters extremely well.

Shinchiro Watanabe, an anime creator who've had well-done black characters in Cowboy Bebop that weren't drawn with donut lips or looked like bad caricatures, that was during the 90s!

Like, come on! There's shouldn't be any excuses for this type of crap when it comes to black characters' designs in manga and anime.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3602

today i went for lunch with my mom and we went to ocean state for a bunch of stuff, none of which im completely convinced we needed. but we got new lawn chairs which are actually camp chairs bc we use them for cookouts and stuff and we need to actually be able to get up out of them with a plate of food and stuff.

we stopped for lemonades and pie and snacks, and it was just as we were leaving walgreens with snacks that the funniest part of the day occurred.

mom handed me her debit card to put back in her purse after paying, so i went to grab her little wallet to put it back, but the purse was so stuffed by something it was hard to deal with and honestly hard to get into at all - the bag is kind of big, so the fact that it felt so cramped was really weird. so i find the offending pocket, and i seek out what's making it make the bag feel so goddamn cramped. i reach in and i find a spray can of poo pourri or whatever it's called, and for a moment i thought i found the issue, but the pocket was still too stuffed of something for that single can to make a difference like this. so i stick my hand further into the pocket, and i come across something smooth, which is squishy and vaguely squelchy. which is a weird thing to have in a pocket that usually has makeup in it, and for a moment i thought it could've been one of those blender sponges for foundation, but my mom doesn't use those. so i grab the thing and pull it out.

it's a significantly over-ripened banana.

holding it up, i look at my mom and say, "care to explain this?" mom looked a little confused, and cashier was completely unfazed. definitely not the weirdest thing someone has pulled from their purse in that store.

when we get to the car she explains that last wednesday she'd grabbed a banana to eat for breakfast and put it in her purse as she went to the grocery store. she promptly forgot about it. she went grocery shopping, and she kept thinking about bananas. she went to dunks after, and put her bagel in the purse and ate the donut. since she kept thinking about bananas, she figured it was because she wanted to get some banana nut muffins, so she went back to the grocery store to get some.

she later remembered the bagel, but she's been thinking about bananas since wednesday. she's also been thinking her purse smelled like bananas, but she figured that was because she was thinking about bananas. but no. there was in fact a banana in her purse.

just before she explains this, she reaches into the bag of things we just got and pulls something out to give to me.

it's a squishmallow. a banana squishmallow.

her name is junie, and the combination of events which led to our walgreens trip having a net-zero sum of bananas was the funniest thing i could've imagined happening today.

anyway. after that, we came home and watched the flash until i made dinner and then we watched some more until about 10pm.

joel texted me today asking what i was up to. i said i was watching tv, and i asked him what was up. he said "not much," and that was about it. i'm sure he was doing something; he's always doing something. he has so many projects running at once that it's a wonder he has any time and creativity left for anything else.

but now it's almost 00:40 and i have a headache and i am so tired.

[silverstudios]

lethal company borrower and Acorn head cannons

As the title says- this is just me throwing in a collection of head cannons I had about how Borrowers as a species works in the lethal company universe and a handful of head cannons about my oc Acorn.

Common names-Borrower Scientific name: Homo Micro 

Borrowers appear to be humanoid but at an incredibly smaller size. The tallest borrower on record was 12 inches tall. 

The average age of a borrower is between 50-60 and they reach mental and physical maturity around age 18-19. The oldest recorded borrower was 66. 

Despite the small size, borrowers are nearly identical to homo sapiens, with a few differences here and there. 

Borrowers appear to be surprisingly strong- the nearest species comparison to their strength is how ants can lift something 10X its weight. Borrowers, in turn, have proven to be able to lift roughly 10-15X their body weight, and this strength is also used in self defense, scaling tall objects and general physical activities. 

Due to the borrower's small size, the amount of air they require to function is very little, and the oxygen amount they need is lesser than a humans. It is due to this that a borrower can survive without an oxygen tank on moons, although doing so does lead to distress if the borrower is not used to it.

A negative and positive trait is that a borrower’s dark vision is significantly better than humans. This addition has helped the species survival for many years, as borrowers would collect resources during the twilight to midnight range. This has the unfortunate side effect of borrowers being very sensitive to bright lights and prone to visual overstimulation when not in a dark location. 

Sadly, after the wars, borrower populations dropped significantly and are now considered an endangered species. Despite the large hit to their population, Borrowers continue to live on in the new universe. 

Society: 

Due to the state of the species, Multiple collectors and species preservation groups have taken to buying families of borrowers. This buying process has multiple different ways it can go. The buyer could offer to give the money directly to the borrower family is a potential option, but the most successful has been offering the borrower family a permanent home, a constant supply of resources and money, educational and medical insurance and many other add-ons.

 This process of buying off borrower families has led to small cities of borrowers within the land of the buyer, which have been called “Borrower settlements” or “Fairy towns”, and have been given a high level of protections. 

There are still borrowers outside of fairy towns, still living in the old ways of their species, if not a little less secretive than they used to be. If a housing complex has a borrower family or group, the occupations are made well aware of it. These buildings normally prevent pets of any kind, alongside a lack of automatic machines (like rumbas). Most occupations would merely leave out bowls of things a borrower would enjoy, sugar cubes, tissues, for their small neighbors to take as they need. 

Borrowers who live within fairy towns are less likely to ever make human contact, as all their needs are provided for by the owner of the settlement. The owner must give the borrowers five different bowls of whatever is required by the town- given to the owner in a list- everyday to ensure all the inhabitants can get what they need. 

Harming a borrower is illegal and punishable by 40 years of jail time or being placed onto company duty for the next 10 years, And if you kill a borrower you are placed either into death row Or sent to spend the rest of your life working for the company. 

Acorn head cannons: 

Acorn is the youngest of her 10 siblings at 18 years old. 

She and her family live in the fairy town “Melody” on Lua, the largest borrower settlement. 

Her favorite color is brown, her favorite food is sugar coated donuts and she got her trusty acorn hat from the large acorn tree outside Melody’s walls. 

Acorn decided she wanted to join the company when she was around 10 when the owner of the settlement’s second to youngest came back from his department to the company, telling all kinds of tales about his adventures. The excitement, the adventure, the potential danger, it all thrilled the young borrower. 

She waited until her 18th birthday to apply to work for the company- but was quickly denied due to the fact borrower’s are endangered .She wasn’t completely denied- she had the knowledge to pass all the questions about the dangers of the moons, which scrap is the best to grab and the like to even get her to the background check, so instead she was redirected toward multiple other job opportunities within her fairy town that could use a good worker like her- and even multiple online jobs. 

She was frustrated and slightly insulted, and so did what anyone would do in this situation- made herself a suit to protect her eyes and other vitals, snuck out of her home and snuck onto the nearest prison bus heading to Gordion, where she then hopped onto a company ship. 

And that’s where her story begins…

[acanvasofabillionsuns]

ik i like always say this but quick list tonight it is late and i Was going to do a puzzle but now i don't think i have time (and i would have to do it on my floor and then it'd be in the way in the morning so i can't really start and then pause in the middle)

v nice day today though!!!

went to the post office and got a gift for my friend mailed and it's actually?? projected to deliver like RIGHT on time?? which i was like 'agh i'm probably sending it too late' but maybe not?? which is exciting alksdfja

speaking of gifts then i was scrolling a buzzfeed list of like 'great gifts under $25' and i actually found a good half dozen or so that i think would make neat gifts so :] i'll sort through them tomorrow and pick which i'd want to get and which can be set aside for later possibilities

so like ofc my outfit was cute and fun today BUT especially cute and fun then i wore my teal green dragonfly socks :D

my sister bought everyone donuts and i was not expecting to get any but i did actually get a half!! 'twas v tasty

i think i mentioned those marshmallow treats the other day? had another few of those 👌

cold water??? slaps SO hard

so i looked around a bit on a few different things and wasn't super productive for it bc it was stressing me out (and i rabbitholed a bit, just went from one to the other instead of finishing researching anything) but i came back to one of them later and actually got a bit of progress in looking?? and tomorrow i'm planning to do more 👍

watched tadc with max!!!! v intriguing, bubbles is my favorite and also maybe ragatha <3

got!!!! a bookshelf!!!! this has been an issue for me but now i have one and hopefully it will hold all my books alkdjfal;sdkfa it is a nice red :]

oh add it onto the productivity list i did some dishes

absolutely VIBED to it's raining men, that's such a fun song <33

played minecraft with rac a bit!!!! i thought i'd missed my chance but nope :D

made $40 for the second time and it went better than last time !!

i actually backed into a car a little bit as i was leaving ^ but the people were SO nice about it?? they were literally so kind i'm 🥺

there's a discord emoji that better suits the emotion but this is not discord so.

a handyman came and fixed some stuff that was minor but annoying and next week another guy is going to come and fix our fridge so that we get fridge water??? we win these !!!!!

[zephyrlass]

1. Are you a morning or night person? Night

2. Are you afraid of the dark? No

3. Are you an extrovert or introvert? Introvert

4. Are you double jointed? No

5. Are you left or right handed? Right

6. Are you more of a tidy person or a messy one? Very tidy

7. Are you on time or always late? Always on time

8. Are you ticklish? A little

9. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

10. Can you ice skate? Yes pretty well actually

11. Can you wiggle your ears? No

12. Coffee or tea? Tea always

13. Cookies, cake or donuts? Cake

14. Did you ever participate in a talent show? Yes

15. Did you go to prom? I went to formal, I think it’s similar

16. Did you like school? Overall yes

17. Do you believe in ghosts? Not at all

18. Do you bite your nails? Never

19. Do you consider yourself a good cook? Yes

20. Do you enjoy dancing? Yes

21. Do you enjoy DIY or crafts? Yes

22. Do you forgive easily? No definitely a grudge holder :/

23. Do you have a nickname? Too many

24. Do you have any allergies? Yes, dust and grass

25. Do you have any phobias? Yes, all kinds of rodents. Hate them

26. Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Yes, x3 small tattoos and just my ears pierced

27. Do you have children? No

28. Do you have pets? Yes a dog

29. Do you have siblings? Yes a brother

30. Do you prefer dogs or cats? Dogs 100%

31. Do you prefer Mac or PC? Mac

32. Do you prefer the beach or the mountains? Both. But probably beach.

33. Do you prefer to bath or shower? Shower

34. Do you sing in the shower? No

35. Do you smoke? No

36. Do you speak any different languages? French and a bit of Danish and Japanese

37. Do you still have your wisdom teeth? Nope all four removed

38. Do you still watch cartoons? No

39. Do you/have you played any sports? Netball, football, AFL, surfing, skiing, swimming, volleyball and tennis.

40. Does your name have a special meaning? Great grandmothers name

41. Have you ever been hospitalized? Yes three times

42. Have you ever been on a diet? No

43. Have you ever been to a concert? Many

51. If money were no object what would you get for your next birthday? A house

52. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Copenhagen or Kiama

53. Were you ever a scout or a brownie? what is a brownie?

54. What city were you born in? Richmond

55. What did you last eat? Fish, potatoes and broccoli

56. What did you want to be when you were younger? An architect

57. What do you do on a typical Friday night? Go for a beer with some friends

58. What is one food that you refuse to eat? Pâté

59. What is one item on your bucket list? Go to an AFL game at the MCG

60. What is one item you can’t live without? toothbrush

61. What is your shoe size? 40

62. What movie have you watched repeatedly? Lol probably Mean Girls

63. What phone do you have (Apple or Android)? Apple iPhone 13

64. What should you be doing right now? Stretching

65. What’s one goal you would like to accomplish this year? Australia win the World Cup

66. What’s one of your pet peeves? People who talk at the cinema

67. What’s the last song you’ve listened to? Hide & Seek by Stormzy

68. What’s the most expensive item of clothing that you own? Probably my North Face puffer jacket

69. What’s the thing you can’t leave the house without? Lip balm and my glasses

70. What’s your best physical feature? My legs

71. What’s your Chinese sign? Tiger

72. What’s your current obsession? Formula 1

73. What’s your dream car? Aston Martin DB5

74. What’s your favourite animal? Wombats, penguins and orangutans

75. What’s your favourite book? Not sure I have a favourite

76. What’s your favourite colour? Blue and yellow

77. What’s your favourite dessert? Lava cake

78. What’s your favourite drink? Ginger beer

79. What’s your favourite food? Modern bay bug roll or cheese

80. What’s your favourite foreign food? Eastern Mediterranean, Japanese and Indian

81. What’s your favourite gadget? I like those robotic vacuums

82. What’s your favourite hobby? Skiing

83. What’s your favourite movie? Almost famous

84. What’s your favourite restaurant? Rick shores

85. What’s your favourite sandwich? Brie and cranberry or sauerkraut, Gouda and prosciutto

86. What’s your favourite season? Spring

87. What’s your favourite series? SKAM

88. What’s your favourite snack? Cheese and bread

89. What’s your favourite sport to watch? AFL or football

90. What’s your favourite thing to have for breakfast? Proper Australian breakfast with poached eggs, Kim chi, avocado, sour dough and halloumi

[bigender-cowboy]

oh boy I think I saw this once but didn’t know what the fuck snogging was so let’s go!!!!!

1: Uhm. With my father. DEFINITELY NOT THE OTHER THOUGH!!!!!

2: My friend

3: not really actually. I’ve fully accepted everything I’ve ever done that I could actually regret.

4: nah. like the last thing I’ve embraced it all.

5: I have a partner and he’s VERY silly

6: for a good cause. preferably quick, but it doesn’t have to be.

7: uhhhh pasta with ketchup and sugar on it

8: hockey and ig if you count it archery. some people don’t though so. nothing professional.

9: Yes but not out of anxiety. ITS BECAUSE I ALWAYS BREAK THEM AND THEY GET UNEVEN

10: uhhhh idk some time this summer. last few months.

11: guys I might like my partner im not sure though

12: yeah and I’ve stayed up later than that. its not the hardest.

13: oh. yes. many people. its actually hard to get on that list but im autistic and people no no my things when i say them

14: yeah

15: three fish two cats

16: incredibly bored although I am getting amused by silly things

17: no why the fuck would I go in the bathroom to make out that is a stupid fucking spot

18: AAAAAAAAAA

19: NO!!!!!!!!!

20: bed (also it wasn’t sexual we were confused what the hype was about. we’re still confused what the hype is about)

21: me and my partner are in Maine rn with his family so probably rest because I get back to his place Saturday and im probably going home Sunday

22: no. IM ALREADY FATHER/SIBLING FIGURE TO LIKE 5 DIFFERENT PEOPLE IM DONE WITH THAT

23: no I used to have 3 on both ears and they all got ripped out/horribly damaged in different ways that all led to hospital trips

24: History. My teacher said I knew more than he did once. So.

25: not really. If it’s IN the past my mom but not her present form.

26: hot chocolate and powdered donuts

27: bi girls love me or something (yes)

28: nope

29: uhm. no? yeah? idk.

30: my partners rats keep attacking each other.

31: yaya

32: Maroon or burgundy. Wine color.

33: ehh. yeah. kind of.

34: uhhhhh I think I watched my partner fall off a building before turning into a bird. idk.

35: my partner but not in a actually serious way. the last person I did that in-front of was my father (in relief/joy)

36: no. im very stubborn. grudge holder.

37: neither??? ig forgive???

38: I thought not and then I thought about it and honestly maybe. not counting being a little kid, JUST maybe.

39: fuck. when I got with my partner so like…1 1/2 years ago? age isn’t being dropped though.

40: once but I really needed to check something and I had NO time for clothes

51: lemons or fettuccine with shrimp and breadsticks or garlic bread

52: not really because idgaf about it its just whatever happens happens it doesn’t matter who you are because it’ll just happen

53: threw the leech bottle and had to find out where the leech went because the bottle opened

54: no.

55: I mean im pretty nice but im also pretty snappy and defensive so at times im definitely mean but not always

56: uhm. i don’t know. dude i used to live in a trailer park where knives were pulled on you so a lot of fucking people???? i don’t know???

57: no

58: light drizzle or heavy snow

59: yes, I don’t think you’ve completed life until you’ve tied a sled to the back of a truck and gotten dragged across snow covered roads.

60: no, I hate marriage. Although I did promise my friend I would marry him for taxes if needed.

61: SHDBDBBSBS NO I HATE THE WORD BABY SO MUCH SHDND

62: a lot of things? my partner? friends? fandoms? idk

63: uhh. I already did just not to anyone but my friends and social media. legally? sure

64: nope. it was my partner.

65: tell them that I don’t like them because I have a partner and keep hanging out with them after

66: uhhh I don’t know how close I am with any cis guys. only trans guys. actually ONE guy. yes.

67: my partner’s mom’s boyfriend I think

68: my friend

69: not really

70: yeah

Open tags

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[the-screwfly-solution]

10.4.2024

Dear Katya,

It is so rainy here. As I sit on my bed typing this letter, I think about how much Kuska would hate it. That said, there are lots of other dogs here, so maybe I am wrong. Maybe she would make so many friends that she would love it in spite of the weather. Or maybe she would like it anyway if she discovered arepas. 

Anyway, it is a nice city. Actually, nice isn't the word. Cool is a better one. It is cool here. Literally, the temperatures haven't gotten higher than the 70s or dipped below the 60s. But also in the sense of the mist, the incredible green that is everywhere like a jungle canopy inside the concrete, and the way crossing the street isn't quite a free-for-all, but it isn't exactly not that either (for me, this is great). There are restaurants roughly every two feet, and the intervening feet are occupied by carts selling arepas, or skewers (I think) or candy, or fruits and juices, or whatever else. There were also, in the more central area I went to today, lots of llamas that people had taken there so they could charge tourists to take photos with them. Business seemed brisk. 

Today, I decided I wanted to talk to people more than I had (the last two days were my arrival and lots of work on Thursday). So when I left my apartment and walked toward the climbing gym I had decided to try, I stopped by a bookshop. After I had been nosing around for a few minutes, one of the bookstore employees, an older and slightly intense looking man with light gray hair, recommended me a book that, based on what I told him I was comfortable reading in Spanish, he thought was a good fit. Then I decided, since I had already talked to someone, I might as well talk more. I asked the other people in the bookshop, who all seemed to either work there or be friends with someone who worked there, what they would recommend I do in Bogotá. They were very friendly. One of them, a boy a bit younger than me, showed me an Instagram page for events in the city. Another, a girl this time about the same age as the boy,  listened to my museum plans, approved, and recommended an additional museum. A third, a handsome man in his thirties who looked like, if he was not a writer, he might be the captain of a ship, recommended me some contemporary Colombian literature. All in all, I left pleased with myself and more optimistic about the city. 

I then walked to the climbing gym. This took me about 40 minutes. Or maybe an hour, actually, because I stopped for coffee and a donut. As I walked into the neighborhood I would soon learn was Teusaquillo, the city became greener, if that was possible. I felt I was in an anime city – that is how dreamily green it was. I kept looking for the sort of warehouse structure that usually signals a climbing gym, but I couldn't find it. After some detouring, I realized this warehouse did not exist, and the climbing gym was in more of a normal building. I signed up for a day pass, for which I needed my passport number, and got to work. It is always disconcerting to go to a new gym. You recognize everything, but it is all a little off – the setting is different, maybe the grading is different, maybe the scale is even different, or the type of holds used. Here, it was all of that and a bit more. After an hour, I had not grasped the grading system. There were reds and yellows (I cannot remember which of these should have been harder than the other) that were extremely difficult, and there were others that should have fallen in the "Bebé" range they listed in their rating scale (an American gym would never risk offending like this – I loved it!). The last interesting thing I'll say about the routes, setting and those nerdy things is that, to compensate for the relative shortness of the walls, many of the climbs went diagonally – I enjoyed this. 

I did not only go to the gym to climb, though. I also went there to meet people. And I think I found a good place to do this – the people seemed like the kind of nice young people I want to get to know during my stay here. I was especially interested by the girl at the front desk. She had an exceptionally calm, cool, and collected air to her – her eyes, especially, were calm. She also wore a sick purple jacket. On my way out, I asked her if she had any recommendations for me, any bars or places I should go to see music. She did, so I plan to see a show tonight. 

As I was walking to the Botero museum, it started to rain. This began with a drizzle. But then the rain was coming down in buckets. I huddled under some sort of bizarre metal canopy structure associated with Bancocolombia, but which also had a supermarket and lots of blue-uniformed security guards who would not crack a smile. I delved into the books I had bought at a different bookstore, one on my way from the climbing gym. These were a promising anthology of contemporary Colombian writers, a book of drawings of important sites in Bogotá (it could make a good gift), and a cyberpunk short story collection, which seemed kind of cheesy. 

Then the rain vanished as quickly as it had appeared. After a stopover that lasted far too long at the Claro store to get myself a SIM card, and following an excellent lunch of soup, I made it to the Botero Museum. With the limited time I had before my student, I soaked in Botero's paintings of georgeously, extravagantly fat figures, his luscious still lives, and his sculptures of yet more fat figures, which were sometimes erotic (my favorite: a fat woman fucking a swan). 

Then, after a winding, dizzying Uber home, I sat down to tutor. 

How are YOU?

Much love,

David

[pwblogarchive]

July 2003

July 3, 2003

12:30 pm

happy fourth of july, we're spending it alone

being in a band means missing out on all the good things you meant to not miss out on by not having a regular job which is why you wanted to be in a band in the first place.

July 6, 2003

3:17 am

the secret order of badboys

yeah you wish you were in it. we're in texas. i feel done for. i miss my friends. but i'm doing what i always wanted. the kids are so awesome. we set our sails against the wind. we don't need you. spent the day soaking my pen in spite- you'll read about it soon. oh yeah, i want to read the new harry potter book "order of the phoenix" unfortunately it is not available to me. if you are my best friend you could bring it to me on july 17 or anytime before. i will trade you lots of worthless stuff like FOB merch and my love. peteccentric

spend most of my time trying to write hits- with the constant weight of worry that they'll all miss.

Current Music: bright eyes "fever and mirrors"

July 12, 2003

12:38 pm

need you like i need water in my lungs

we are in california again. finally i can breathe. slowing my heartbeat trying to remember every show, every face. tonight rootbeer and 80's movies. don't you wish you were me.

i hope you don't.

July 12, 2003

12:40 pm

need you like i need water in my lungs.

california. i can breathe again. i'd like to explain it all but it won't make any sense. root beer. 80's movies. tonight. stars are different in the desert. don't you wish you were me?

cause even i don't.

July 17, 2003

2:27 pm

status report:

drank iced hot chocolate in the hustler store with this girl. she told me i smelled like baby sweat. swoon. played shows in the desert. it was hot. met julie from the real world new orleans. she's pretty rad. kind of cliche. word. see you tonight chicago.

July 22, 2003

12:25 pm

"why do you come here when you know it makes it hard for me"

okay so the livejournal is out of control again. someone is writing as me and asking how i know anonymous people. pretty radical. i am in town but i am gonna sleep and watch movies and waste it on some stupid drama. we leave again next week. if you see me, remind me to smile cause it's not that bad.

July 25, 2003

“Snitches And Talkers Get Stitches And Walkers”

ordered a bunch of new merch today. its gonna be bad ass. sitting around writing made me come to many realizations: life with busey is one of the funniest shows around. the new american nightmare is gonna smoke whatever music you write. every girl i have ever dated but one has cheated on me. my dad and me had dinner tonight and talked about my band. my family is the greatest. i’ll talk to you guys soon,

love peter

July 27, 2003

5:09 pm

i'll hold this pen over your head

grocery shopping today:

count chocula

cocoa puffs

donuts

hotpockets

ibc rootbeer

i win. it made me think about how someday i am gonna be living with a girl and stuff. i think it will maybe be rad. if anyone wants to practice with me so i will be ready when the time comes let me know. no sex or kissing but lots of arguments and hangout.

July 30, 2003

12:01 am

“You Should Try Saying No Once In Awhile”

the show tonight with Gob was amazing. its crazy how much kids know the words. i am doing what i love. thank you. i am truly completely happy with that part of my life and completely unhappy with the rest of my life.

Dear, don’t bother try to make it cute or charming cause you’re not. It’s last call- finish your drink so you don’t feel a thing. “don’t worry, I’m in a better place” or whatever I have to say so you’ll let me in. I got one foot in the door and the other in your bed. “with friends like you who needs friends”. Your sheets have the scent of how convenient it is to have me three thousand miles away.

July 30, 2003

2:46 am

staying alive is as good as it gets.

if you want to know then ask me otherwise keep your mouth shut. stalk me you couldn't pick a better subject. i like this girl from california alot. me and her are gonna have 10,000 babies. do you want to find a cure and save the world or just fall in love and fuck?

you should try saying no once in awhile.

July 31, 2003

3:07 am

“I’m Wreckless. This Love Is Mayhem.”

woo. last night in toledo was pretty amazing. its such a shock that kids actually believe in the words we wrote and sing them back. it means so much. Stuhby came out and sang Saturday with us. do you want to take me to Bend It Like Beckham? it’s easy all you have to do is ask. i promise i’ll go. good times had some kids come up and talk to me about soccer at the past couple of shows. pretty much soccer is one of the best things in the world. tommorrow i’m gonna get to see some friends bands, pretty excited about that. to get to just sit in the crowd and relax. for what it’s worth it makes me happy to know you are out there breathing and laughing even if i am not on your mind.

July 31, 2003

6:04 pm

“for the record you did hurt my feelings.”

you shut off the light and i am a moth in the dark begging for more.

as much as i wish you would just drop dead- a part of me is happy you are still breathing and laughing even if i am not on your mind.

[formeryelpers]

Mochinut, 3756 W Ave 40, Ste 2A, Los Angeles (Glassell Park), CA 90065

My first Korean hot dog of the year. It’s been over a year since I visited a Mochinut. The Mochinut in Glassell Park has mochi doughnuts, Korean hot dogs, Groundwork organic coffee, and boba drinks. They had over 12 kinds of mochi doughnuts ($4 each). For the Korean dogs, you choose the outside (e.g., ramen, potato), then the inside (sausage, mozzarella, or half & half) and the sauce. The original hot dog is $5. The Korean dog places I went to in the past let you add your own sauce.

Mochi donuts are made with sweet glutinous rice flour, so they are chewier than your typical donut. They’re have a ring of balls shape. The base donut is the same but they add different glazes and sugar coatings. I’ve had glazed ones in the past and they’re too sweet.

Powdered sugar mochi donut ($4): still a little warm…the donut was better (chewier and crispier) than I remembered. It’s really like eating fried crispy mochi.

Hot Cheetos Korean dog with ½ mozz, ½ sausage: The flavor is in the batter. The sausage didn’t have much flavor. The Korean dog is like a crispy corn dog – lots of batter, very crunchy. The mozz had lots of long cheese pulls. The sweetness of the batter with the saltiness and spiciness of the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos was heaven.

The Korean dogs are made to order and take about 6 minutes. Parking was easy to find in the strip mall. The shop was cute and had areas meant for nice social media backdrops.

4 out of 5 stars

By Lolia S.

[bilyana-bang]

I loooooveeeee these😍 okayyyy ....

Sun - I give space for people to be themselves, I love deeply and uncondionally, I can see people's highest potential and most amazing qualities, I fight for people's dreams and fight for them to believe in themselves.

Moon - neveeerrrr in relationships, I can't hide my feelings, I can't lie, I can't manipulate. I hate all those things. I want complete honesty and nothing else. 💯 even if someone tries to supress their feelings I make sure to ask and stay with the person so they open up.

Mercury - yes 🤣🤣🤣

Venus - physically affectionate, affectionate with their words, touchy, gentleman, classy, hot , sexy 🤣 has divine Masculine traits. A lover boy.

Mars- well it depends if I need to approach anyone, if so I will, but usually others approach me first.

Jupiter - oh I consider myself extremely lucky

Saturn - umm I think some adhd symptoms, so for example, can't focus on something unless it's interesting, forgetfulness lol can't wait for things !! 🤣 but I actually don't have the majority of the symptoms, like I'm not hyperactive at all nor am I disorganised or indicise.

Uranus - education , education should be individualistic, meaning give children incredible amounts of inspiration when they're young so they can see what they like and not like. Not 18 years of maths, science etc for all. In the current education system, only the academic child succeeds. In the future our peak will begin at 20 not at the current 40. Its not coincidental that everyone is lost after they leave school. That's the first time people find themselves. I believe that if you've been through the current education system you have been intellectually abused. Only 1/100 will go onto Academia, therefore we would have all failed in school at some point and felt bad for no reason. Or got scolded by a parent for no reason. This system will vanish. I hate that I wasted 23 years of my life on it. Gatekeeping information. For what. It's going to end soon.

Neptune - intuitive af

Pluto - haha.... twin flame awakening and discovering your twin flame.

Ascendant- YES

IC - 50/50, my childhood was primarily with mum, grandma and auntie and siblings cause dad was always working and tbh I don't remember much of him in childhood. I used to think I was so rich because I loved everyone and that's what I thought being rich meant🤣

Descendant- Friends : extremely, extremely kind. Guys: really hot 🤣

MC - no idea

Aries - yes because of my ADHD but I've recently been less so

Taurus - oh gosh, so before I went mainly raw vegan it was lasagne, donuts, pizza, anything chocolate, cake, wraps, fried cheese block ( non vegan days), Muffins, Cupcake, brownie, Bueno. After I went raw vegan, its Banana Slushie, Orange Juice, Any kind of fruit juice, smoothies, any raw food, I love trying out new food, mango, peach. Any fruit. I love Everything I eat ! My favourite food used to be Bulgarias' most famous salad. Shopska Salata. Tomatoes, cucumber, onion, ( Cirene - Bulgarian White Feta cheese) salt, vinegar, oil, lemon. Everyone used to know me as salad girl 🤣 because of how salads were my favourite. I still have some cooked food when I desire it. Like Love Raw, I've stopped eating processed sugar foods because I get my sugar kick from the fruit but damn that is one good vegan Bueno. I wrapped one in a pancake once, oh my days 🤤🤤🤤🤤

LoveRaw and Oreos are THE top tier of vegan food.

Gemini - yes ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Cancer - oh yes I really do!!!!! And that starts with a guy . My dream has always only been one dream my whole life, it's to have a lover I really love, because that's who I see as a family first. I've been single my whole life because I've never found that. In fact, that's why I initially wanted to be an actress. Because I used to really like the boys in the movies and thought, I'm drawn to them for some reason, I want to act with them to see why. (Later, when I discovered my twin flame, I understood why. But that's a story for another time haha). If I don't have extreme passionate love in my most direct relationship, that's just so scary to me. A future I don't want 10000%. I think I'd like 3 children. I really want to be a mum, to love someone all the time, for them to look to you for their self esteem and for you to only love them unconditionally and see what person they are in this world. To share the love for your children with a husband and to see your husband and children playing together ❤️ to expand your family with someone you are in love with. To see your lover in them. I've always played around with what kind of upbringing I want them to have, I used to really like the surfing lifestyle in the sun and water whilst eating fruit, or imagine if they grow up in a city or somewhere cosmopolitan with a beach at the back of the house. Goodness this all depends on who I marry really. I have no idea what their career will be? A surfer ? A business man? Your life literally depends on your partners' job and your own job. If I want to be an actress in America, then realistically I will end up with a business man who works in New York, so I might end up with the city lifestyle. I just know that I don't want a man who's really busy though. I wouldn't like to not see them or be with them. I don't want that relationship where you need space from each other or where you need to both be working so you miss each other or only see each other for the nights. Or where you have fights (I never want to fight with my lover). Or where your life is majorly focused on your job. I can't do that. I need a lover. I need a lover lifestyle. I need someone to think about 24/7 😅. I need someone's body to daydream about. I need someone's eyes to look into all the time and feel pure unconditional love between each other. I need someone that feels like only you and them exist. I need someone to love ❤️ nurture and support. 🥰

Leo - I am okay with whatever life gives me, so if that is unnoticed or being the centre of attention. I am okay with both. I don't choose to have a preference because I can not know what another person will think of me or how they will treat me. That's why I don't react if someone disrespects me, if that is how they chose to see me, I accept it. And if someone is nice to me, I treasure it so much. Plus there are pros and cons to both. Being unnoticed for a celebrity may be bliss, being the centre of attention of someone who's been ignored their whole life would be bliss. I like to hear people's opinions and thoughts, I'm very curious about other people's worlds simply because everyone has such different likes, that you're bound to meet people who like things you don't and I love to change my opinion to the positive, I love to be shown a light I previously couldn't see, plus I think most people don't receive a lot of praise and don't feel seen or heard enough, because I realised that the only reason I am strong and confident is because my mum always listens to me, my sister always validates me and so does my brother. I am strong because I am nurtured. Therefore, I like to nurture people that way because that's how I see them, with joy. I think when you are the centre of attention people don't speak up because they're focusing you or they may feel invisible or less than. And if they get to a point where they brake down, that means you were a part of the accumulation of them feeling bad, and I can't imagine someone secretly feeling bad whilst at the same time you're feeling good because of the attention. I don't like the unawareness, blindness and selfishness of that situation. The quote " If you can only be tall when someone else is on their knees" by Toni Morrison really captures it. Plus how can you be happy, when the person next to you is sad. Also, I like to go into their world because I already know mine, any new knowledge from theirs can help me discover new areas of mine too. I don't think I'm drawn to being the centre of attention for the sake of it, however, on the occasion when someone offers it to me, I respectfully receive as it is always nice when someone is nice to you and makes you feel special too. It's a nice gesture :)

Virgo - perfectionists are stereotypically unhappy, however I think that their aims are nothing short of admirable. For someone to dedicate their whole being into success. I like that. It shows they care about their work, which really means that they are respectful to the person recieving their work. The problem is that there is a lot of guilt and shame and attack which comes from self hate. Once you have a high self-esteem and love yourself you realise that you can be happy perfectionist. I am that.

Libra - I'd love to! 1 million percent!!

Scorpio - sure

Sagittarius - New York ! I've always thought that New York was my type of city. But I want to see the world with people I love!

Capricorn - Playing Elektra for Marvel.

Aquarius- social, I like spending time with people I love, hate being alone. I can't do things by myself and not even that but I get in accidents so much and hurt myself by accident so much that I need someone to watch me 🤣

Pisces - I like to try all and I enjoy all.

1H - Classy, Elegant, Feminine, Sensual

2H - no, I don't think I attach to physical things, however physical things do bring back memories of people. I attach to people though. Once I'm attached to you, I'm in love with you forever haha

3H - the movie industry

4H - I'm close with all

5H - reading, but anything will become my hobby at one point haha

6H - Yes and no.

7H - Being vegan is a green flag for me, I can't date a non-vegan nor someone who wants pets. I think those are deal breakers me.

8H- workaholics. No thank you. A lover for me always comes first.

9H - all of them ;)

10H - I am inevitable 🤣

11H - Kind, Attentive, Caring

12H - not having a lover I love. My life hope is that.

Astrology ask game ☄️

sun ⇢ name 5 things you like about yourself?

moon ⇢ do you suppress your feelings?

mercury ⇢ are you a talkative person?

venus ⇢ describe your ideal type

mars ⇢ are you the type to approach others first or do you like others to do that instead?

jupiter ⇢ do you consider yourself a lucky or unlucky person?

saturn ⇢ what are the things you consider you struggle the most?

uranus ⇢ what things do you think should change in society?

neptune ⇢ are you a rational or intuitive person?

pluto ⇢ tell something supernatural that happened to you

ascendant ⇢ do you believe in love at first sight?

IC ⇢ do you think you had a good childhood?

descendant ⇢ what kind of people do you usually attract?

MC ⇢ what kind of reputation do you think you have?

aries ⇢ are you an impulsive person?

taurus ⇢ what's your favorite food?

gemini ⇢ do you have a good relationship with your siblings? if you're an only child, would you like to have siblings? how many?

cancer ⇢ do you want to start a family in the future? how many children would you like to have?

leo ⇢ do you like being the center of attention or do you prefer to go unnoticed?

virgo ⇢ do you consider yourself a perfectionist?

libra ⇢ would you like to get married in the future?

scorpio ⇢ do you feel comfortable talking about taboo things?

sagittarius ⇢ what places would you like to travel in the future?

capricorn ⇢ what's your ideal job?

aquarius ⇢ do you consider yourself an antisocial or social person?

pisces ⇢ what kind of art are you good at? (painting, dancing, singing, etc.)

1H ⇢ describe your style

2H ⇢ do you have any object that you like a little too much? what is it and why?

3H ⇢ what are some of the topics you like to talk about the most?

4H ⇢ which relatives are you the closest with?

5H ⇢ do you have a hobby? which one(s)?

6H ⇢ do you consider yourself a workaholic?

7H ⇢ what do you consider green flags in a relationship?

8H ⇢ what do you consider red flags in a relationship?

9H ⇢ what languages ​​would you like to learn?

10H ⇢ how do you want people to remember you?

11H ⇢ describe your friends in 3 words

12H ⇢ which is/are your biggest fear(s)?

[parker-d-bloodrose]

Adventures in Bike Commuting 12/14/22

[Note: I can’t get the alt-text to work when posting this from the text post editor, though I can usually get it to work from the image post editor so I will be including an image description written in the body of the blog.]

Today’s a short post so I won’t really do a TL;DR.

Ghoulie needed a tune up, and I needed a donut of employment because I am starting a new job soon! So, I went to my donut shop and had coffee and then took Ghoulie up to my local bike shop. I mentioned this already, but I found out that we have some cool local anti-fascists who are willing to cover up fascist propaganda. The mechanic was like “oh yeah this’ll only take about 30 minutes” to do the basic tune up. It took actually closer to like, 40 minutes but that was fine. Dude did a damn good job of fixing her up. There were two small hiccups. The first was that I dropped Ghoulie and broke her bell, so I am currently bell-less and will need to replace it soonish. The second was that the mechanic accidentally unplugged my throttle, but once we identified the problem, he fixed it and I was on my way. 

This was probably the coldest ride I’ve done, which brings me to some gear updates. Yesterday I grabbed a snowboarding helmet to better secure my goggles, as well as a new pair of goggles because the old ones had a disintegrating liner. The snowboarding helmet is less than ideal for what I am doing with it because it is by nature, a helmet for a different sport. However, it is keeping me warm and giving me a place to store my goggles when I’m not using them. If I had the money for it, I’d probably manufacture something similar for bicycles specifically. I don’t like the mountain bike/ down hill helmets for the kind of riding I do. Those helmets draw heavily from dirt bikes because you experience similar terrain, but wearing one for commuting just seems... kind of weird. Anyway that’s all for commuting. I hope more people do bicycle commuting because I’ve been enjoying it and I want other folks to enjoy it, which is why I post these blogs even though they’re different from my other content.

[Image Description: A picture of a chocolate covered donut sitting on a paper plate with a paper cup of coffee on a small wooden table next to it.]