#and last time i had to go to hospital | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ganondoodle · 2 months ago

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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #ganondoodles rants #sorta #suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw #theres some construction stuff on our house going on #and my father is extremely stressed about it #he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed #my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi #to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself #which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee #and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her #to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life #BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her #without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears #and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains #but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being #always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold #but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings

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caramellles · 2 months ago

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"as time passed, we gradually began to feel that the worst was over. we still had to heal our physical and mental wounds, but we really started to come back to life."

#don’t even know where to start!👀#(1) i finally upgraded keith's hairstyle a bit since his hair should have grown enough by now #and i really like it!!! i could not find anything suitable for a long time #(2) i really love the dynamic between keith and ida #they are like in eternal conflict but still they can always rely on each other #i don't know how good i am at showing this in my posts but that’s how it is😅#(3) the proposal!!! i’m just very happy for my babies!#unfortunately this whole situation is not the last test on their way (is it spoiler?)#but now they're just happy ❤️‍🩹#(4) after this accident ernest had a scar on his face which we saw on him when he first appeared on my blog 👀#(5) the next post will end the series of hospital posts and i am very happy about this #all this uncertainty weighed on me even though i knew how the situation would end #i can’t say that it will be easier for me to go on but at least i’ll be able to say goodbye to the hospital (and you too)#i think i’ve written too much here hehe #it just seemed inappropriate for me to share my thoughts under previous posts😅#the sims 4 #ts4 simblr #ts4 story #the sims 4 story #along the oasis extra #keith ian stonsberg #devin barkley #ida iris stonsberg #ernest lawson #nina lawson

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 9 months ago

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If y’all could pray for my friend T, I’d appreciate it. They got in a car crash yesterday while working; nobody was hurt on either side, but they’re scared they’re gonna lose their job (their job requires a lot of driving). Additionally, they already have PTSD from a previous car crash, and when I last saw them, they weren’t doing so well. I’d appreciate some prayers for them.

#blue chatter #prayer request #I’m rly worried bc last time I saw them dissociating this bad they were doing rly poorly mentally #like. had-to-go-to-the-hospital poorly #they’ve had a history of dissociation and such but their episodes are usually v short and infrequent by now #but I came over yesterday and they were clocked out for like. several consecutive minutes. and then started dissociating again shortly after #regaining awareness. which is not their baseline around me or their roommate (he was also there)

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queerdiazs · 7 months ago

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inspiration saturday 🫧

hi, sorry i've been mia my brother is having casual heart attacks so we're in the hospital with him but everything is okay!

i had a chuckle last night thinking about nun marisol and since eddie's embracing his silliness this season, i decided it means i have to, too, so here's what i've been dabbling in since 2 am last night!

tagged by @monsterrae1, @tizniz, @loserdiaz, and @honestlydarkprincess, mwah

tagging @spagheddiediaz, @goforkinard, @neverevan, @actualalligator, @rogerzsteven, @wikiangela, @watchyourbuck, @exhuastedpigeon, and @eddiebabygirldiaz if any of you feel like sharing something!

#tumblr ALWAYS eats the quality of everything i make but that's okay because graphic design is NOT my passion #had a good giggle laughing on the way home from the er last night and had to get this down before i passed out #(please know everything is okay my brother is going to have a procedure done and we're just having a time in the hospital rn)#anyway this is. this is going to be so funny i have to wait till the end of the season to properly write it but god. goD. it's so funny!#tag games

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catsinmugs · 4 months ago

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got to play for 30 minutes at 6am today WE R SO BACK!

#ts4 gameplay #ts4 screenshots #ts4 legacy #ts4 family #current #reshade #sasaki household #ts4 #kibo household #guys im so excited #i am seeing the boyz tonight i think i might be marrying changmin idk #last time tbz came to atl q had to go to the hospital n eric was on hiatus so this concert will be the first time they perform here all tgt #will cry

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runawaymun · 7 months ago

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#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags #cw personal #once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says #THEY don't #they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government??????????????#so there's still some kind of payment???#anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated #like will she take my insurance or not who's right here #anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now #why the hell is this so hard man #the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain #once again no one knows what they're talking about #like can y'all not communicate and figure this out?#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds #and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover #*contracted #not retyping all of that #and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim #and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart #and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that>#UGH #like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles #the bureaucracy is INSANE #i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second #and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on'#uGH #literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times #like not on the phone after I hung up obvs

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tj-crochets · 4 months ago

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The exact anniversary of it went past without me noticing, but this month marks five years since I last had to go to an ER or urgent care!!! :D

Still don't know what exactly is wrong with me health-wise, but I am doing so much better than I used to be it's a little ridiculous. I was in an urgent care or ER every summer for severe allergic reactions for years, and now I hit that late June/early July mark and don't even notice

#the person behind the yarn #hospital mention #okay this isn't quiiiite true #I did have to go to an urgent care last year or the year before #but that was not for allergies or severe dehydration #that was because I had to get my potassium levels checked and my primary care doctor didn't have the ability to do bloodwork on the weekend #but five years!! oh my gosh five years!!#I had a doctor visit today that basically boiled down to 'something is wrong with you. don't know what though. definitely not RA'#which on the one hand is good news! I do not have an autoimmune disease that will get worse over time!#but on the other hand means I'm back at square one. again.#but oh my gosh FIVE YEARS of no hospital #sometimes it feels like I am making no progress towards a diagnosis #but realizations like this really help. five years! five years. I am getting better #I might have moments where I don't feel well and downward slumps but I have to remember #I am doing so much better healthwise than I was in 2019 even on my worst days now

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simplepotatofarmer · 4 months ago

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-bangs on the door- dreblr funds time? or fic commissions with flexible completion times if you feel like you want to earn it. $10 for 100 words!!

there's an issue with getting money for writing fanfic so i definitely don't want to cross that line and i really love writing for people so i wouldn't want to ask anything for that!

but thank you for the thought, i really appreciate it <3 <3

#loyal answers things #in general i struggle with asking for help #last time i did it was for dandelion's surgery #but then her other leg started having problems and we had to put her down #so like. i just feel weird about it overall.#every since my partner was hospitalized for so long. things have just been a bit rough.#i know it'll get better eventually i just hate how close things are to being okay #i'm going to call the energy company again and try to explain that i should be able to pay the next bill a day late #but thank you again <3 <3 <3

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esleep · 3 months ago

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I'm speaking as someone who had a really bad burnout a handful of years ago. You need to give your brain a break. Usually for adhd folks more asleep helps a ton with the brain fog. Adding stimulants will just have your body draw from an already empty well. If you're having trouble with rest or other forms of self-care doctors can help and so can some of the online resources out there. Supplements are wonderful too. Take care of yourself and good luck. You can do it.

thanks so much you sweet anon <3 creating my prior post actually did prompt me to call my doc about upping the wellbutrin because i'm on a low dose rn and i think i need some more mental stability at the moment. but i think you are right about the exhaustion, which increasing the adderall would probably make worse. im gonna see if the doc also has any input on how to help me sleep better because i think that's also a big factor. thank you angel 💕💕💕💕

#for some additional context: about a month ago my grandpa very suddenly lost the ability to walk #he was hospitalized and not doing well. i had to drop everything and drive a few states over because we thought he may not make it.#while i was there (staying with my parents who i don't get along great with) he was diagnosed with cancer and given between 6 months - 3 yr #to live depending on whether or not he wanted to do chemo. it was also determined he will probably never walk again.#i had to come home after a week and a half because i have to work for a living. after i got home they found nodular cirrhosis in his liver #which is causing confusion and hallucinations.#there's a lot of family baggage going on at the same time that i am trying to manage that is too personal and complex to try to explain #but trust there are a lot of mixed emotions going on for everyone and that is making everything even harder.#anyway. that's not even everything but that was kinda the kickoff event of the last few miserable weeks and ever since then stuff just kind #keeps happening and i just want to lay down.#and also scream.#sorry for mopeyposting on the silly website i promise this isn't all my blog is now but sometimes you just have to talk to the rubber ducky #you know?

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cosmic-ships · 5 months ago

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There, sorted out all my clothes and only keeping enough out for the next 19 days- I'm already exhausted and I still have to do laundry x.x Maybe I'll do it tomorrow morning.

#Laundry is stressful for me lol and right now I have stress on top of stress (Moving + Court in the same month)#I am going later to a friends place to review my recallings of the first time I reported to the police and the last time when I had to go t #the hospital :/ I really dont want to but I know those two jackasses and their lawyers are gonna be all over me trying to cross examine and #shit so I want to be as prepared as I possibly can be and its good if I remember specific dates- I want to be as thorough as possible #I want a big hug from one of my f/os T_T I'm stressed and I'm tired. This month sucks so much lol #venting.tw #tw vent

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scarecrowgolem · 8 months ago

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There is a very specific sort of antisemitism that is seemingly common in mental health facilities and its fucking terrifying