#and last summer i was so fucking happy and productive and content w my life bc. it was Warm and Sunny

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

Everytime i listen to jorts storm theres a small ebbing pain inside that is missing last summer

[spiffysixxsense]

Hello annoying best friend here to fulfill my duty by asking you to answer all of the cute asks

angel; do you have a nickname?

not really. my name is already short and I don't have a prominent quality to nickname me after. The only person who refers to me as anything other than my name is my boyfriend, but I don't think “babe/baby” really counts as a nickname lol

awe; how old are you?

24

baby; favorite color?

dark teal (blue-green? I've never found a good name for my favorite color)

bloop; spirit animal?

so because I didn't have a good answer for this, I decided to google a quiz to find out, lol. My answer was a deer. here's why;

When you have the deer as spirit animal, you are highly sensitive and have a strong intuition. By affinity with this animal, you have the power to deal with challenges with grace. You master the art of being both determined and gentle in your approach.

The deer totem wisdom imparts those with a special connection with this animal with the ability to be vigilant, move quickly, and trust their instincts to get out the trickiest situations

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

i don't really have a favorite book, i don't read much outside of school (I wish i did)

movie: A Beautiful Mind

song: oh dear lord i cannot pick just one, but all-time favorite band of mine is Shinedown

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

a little stuffed dog that looked like Kipper from the TV show, I still have him :)

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

lmao what came to mind was when i pledged to never drink, smoke, or say bad words. two out of fucking three ain't bad i guess. 

bright; mermaids or fairies?

(honestly neither but) fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

given the asker, i would say yes :) also i am lame and my boyfriend is also my best friend 

buttercup; showers or baths?

S H O W E R S. hate baths!

butterfly; dream destination?

I've never had a huge desire to travel honestly. like sure i could say Italy or Greece look beautiful, but the actual act of traveling overseas really stresses me out lol. so i would have to say more like upper midwest, like Maine, in the fall time for all the pretty trees.

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

i am neither

calm; favorite scent?

anything fruity - pineapple, mango, berries, apples. at least in terms of what candles i like lol.

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

i do not remember anything from last night - the last dream i remember involved my boyfriend, dad and i being lost up north lol

charming; have you ever been in love?

currently 

cozy; eye/hair color?

hazel / brunette 

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

the 1970′s for the fashion

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

love me a good succulent

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

well this last birthday was amidst quarantine, so I got some candles and granola (my boyfriend knows me well lol)

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

i have no idea? what an odd question? probably some stuffed animal?

cutsie; what makes you happy?

picnics, alone time, my boyfriend, my cat choosing to cuddle with me.

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

I really cant think of a time I've ever felt truly free. maybe when i drove myself to school earlier this year & didn't have to wait for someone to pick me up? 

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

as a light in others lives. happy, bubbly. things i currently am not

daylight; favorite album of all time?

gosh these dang music questions. well, Nickelback - All the Right Reasons was the first album i ever bought myself. then maybe Shinedown - The Sound of Madness (i cant pick one OKAY)

dear; zodiac sign?

Taurus 

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes? this question makes me feel old, lol. 

dobby; dream job?

criminologist. some way to be reducing the mass incarceration rate in the US. 

doll; how do you like to dress?

comfy, v necks and leggings. As i have gotten older i have slowly wanted to be more feminine i think, because i really want some sundresses for summer lol

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

one! when i was 12ish, i swear i saw a reflection of a uniformed man (like old school soldier uniform - blue blazer with gold cufflinks) behind me in the glass of my snakes tank at the time. it was weird because the only reason i even looked that way was because my snake started shaking his tail against the glass, something that corn snakes do when they are scared, but also something that in his entire life had never done unprompted ever. 

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

want yes, have no

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

100%. no way we are alone in this universe

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

he makes my days so much better :)

fairy; do you have a pet?

I have one little old kitty :)

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

to vacation, ocean. to live, mountain

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the secretary of state? lol

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

I've never owned a plant lol

garden; how many languages do you know?

one :(

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

@cy-ne-fin 

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

sepia photography/old books that have yellowed into sepia. or fresh greenery on white marble. 

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i don't really get any anymore, but as long as they are nice or just questions/venting, im down. don't be offended if i never answer though, for some reason i never get Tumblr notifications lol

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

im compassionate

im empathetic (which is similar but im struggling to get to 5 lol)

im goal-oriented

im determined (once i have said goal. again, related lol) 

i guess i like my lips/lip shape

heart; silk or lace?

lace

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

tea. iced, black or green really, with sugar. 

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

bird watching because it means i am probably alone and in nature as opposed to somewhere in a crowd of people. and i wont feel creepy for watching the birds lol

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

white noise, a fan running. if that's not enough, i enjoy asmr. if i am really struggling/having anxiety, i will look up sleep stories from the headspace app on youtube (life hack to not have to pay for the app lol)

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

to be outside, i enjoy just warm enough to be comfy in pants and a t-shirt (so like 65F-ish) and sunny.To be inside, i love when it is cooler (like 50F?) and raining. I love the look, sound, and smell of rain but it is usually just inconvenient to be in. 

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

well now all days are the same for me, #quarantine, so the same thing i do every day, just about nothing, lol

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

i guess laugh loudly because i am a loud person in general. i have a deep voice

kinky; do you blush easily?

i don't think so, my embarrassment turns into sweat, not blush, lmao

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

i guess being proposed to someday? but i don't have a certain dream way of it happening, just the fact that its happening is enough for me lol. id enjoy if someone (cough Elle or also maybe Michael lol) were secretly filming and/or taking photos of it? I am not sure how you'd manage that though

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

late at night when everything is quiet

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

old school three days grace (one-x album in particular)

love; what is your favorite season and why?

i always gravitate to fall for the leaves and pumpkin patches. but honestly, i think my favorite season is spring. i love the newly budding trees and flowers, the feeling of renewal, the release from the horrible Michigan winter lol, but most importantly, spring time for my whole life as of yet has always meant that school is over for the semester! as opposed to the fall when the semester starts. this is very long winded but spring final answer lol

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

I've never had a macaron and blue moon ice cream 

magic; what are five flaws you have?

ooooo boy

im short tempered/angry too much 

im unmotivated (which is confusing maybe because i said i am determined earlier. you see, once i HAVE a goal i feel determined to finish it. but i am unmotivated to create said goals, lol) 

im nonconfrontational to a fault where i always put others’ feelings before my own

i let fear of change stop me from ever taking risks/ am anxious

i am stubborn and sometimes have a hard time admitting i am wrong

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

this depends - screw pastels. warm neutrals for makeup purposes, but cool darks for aesthetic or decor purposes

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

someone who feels like home. I am not entirely sure how else to explain that. you just feel peace and content with them. 

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

something that allows you to only be with your date - so like a picnic or hike or just a walk even. my boyfriend and i liked to walk around in the fall for me to take pictures of leaves while he played pokemon go (man i miss the pokemon go summer and i have never even PLAYED it, it was just so fun to be with him while he played)

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on youtube usually

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. if your family is toxic for whatever reason, you do not owe them your time strictly because they are family. 

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook, im not super into sweets & i want to enjoy the final product

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

normal? like its legible but its not pretty or cute

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

no:( wish i could play bass or drums

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

i don't :)

i really don't have an answer other than solving whatever is stressing me out, lol. i wish i had more mechanisms to calm me down but nothing i have tried has ever really worked

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

you know these favorites questions are hard for me lol. right now, i am loving watermelon, but i also love most fruits. kiwis! vegetable, i feel like i have to say potato lol

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

lol the last thing i read had to be some academic text, so that's boring

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

meeting Alex i guess, it changes my whole life path to have someone you want to do life with 

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

quarantine? lol

shine; art or music?

music is art.

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

i think so. Elle’s dog griffin loves me for some reason lol

smitten; do you collect anything?

not really

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

4

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

jolly ranchers 

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

nope

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

nope

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

Spongebob probably. unless we are talking like really tiny, toddler age, then Winnie the pooh

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

i live in a 2 bedroom apartment, there arent any spots. lol. my bed i guess

soothe; digital or vinyl?

i mean digital for convenience but vinyl for aesthetic 

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

i mean the only person i really actively miss ever is Alex. @cy-ne-fin sometimes, but i have also grown used to living away from each other

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty, honesty, & humor

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

if i must pick, practical. 

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

absolutely not. i feel like a burden with my feelings even though i shouldn't 

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

honestly not really. am on the fence still about ever having any 

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

not really

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

i am as average as they come man, nothing is unique about me lol

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

like a background friend? like i am not very social, so we do not have to talk every day to be friends. so like im here if you need me, but i enjoy alone time. 

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

the way my boyfriend looks at me, & as i was working on this my cat came to cuddle, which i gave as an answer earlier before he jumped up here :)

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owlllllll

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

the power to heal those who are hurting (including myself)

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

not anymore, i did in high school/early college years. not I've stopped caring

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy? kinda in the middle really. 

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

my state, sure. my city in particular is definitely pretty boring

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

I've never seen one :(

[amoebo-id]

a o t d !!!

no more than 1 release per artist to keep it interesting. selection and ranking is arbitrary and would prob be wildly different if i did this tomorrow. also i only went down to #42 cause everything after that didn’t feel like real aotd status - at least as far as the specific relationships i built over the past 10 yrs with the music i was listening to

#1 laurel halo quarantine

nobody did machine-body dialectic like laurel halo in 2012. i loved everything else from her this decade too but every time i listened to Carcass it made me leave my body physically. absolutely unreal album art too

https://laurelhalo.bandcamp.com/track/carcass-2

#2 e+e the light that you gave me to see you

2012 was a good year. pop/ambient/noise/radio-dj-tag sound collage ascended to spiritual intensity. makes you feel like a child experiencing awe. also fire-gut used to have probably my favorite music video ever but i think it’s gone now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p-SSuwW9cw

#3 ilovemakonnen 5

not to be confused with Drink More Water 5, this one’s from 2010 during his mostly-forgotten diy outsider-pop phase. off-key singing and amateur beats and the sheer absolute joy of making cool songs. all 5 are perfect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORKpg_-z0Mk

#4 macintosh plus floral shoppe

would’ve made top 10 on album art alone. music, aesthetics, and cultural impact are inseparable here but going back to the album reminded me just how engaging its 2010s-updated chopped-and-screwed sound is, musically not just conceptually

https://vektroid.bandcamp.com/track/420

#5 jason lescalleet this is what i do 17

hard to pick a favorite from jason lescalleet’s semi-monthly document of his electroacoustic / field recording / tape loop practice but i’ve cried to multiple tracks on tiwid 17 so it gets the nod. couldn’t find any of them online so here’s something else of his

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t33x8OOm68E

#6 barrio sur बड़ा शोक (heart break)

dedekind cut guy’s weird one-off side project ended up being my favorite thing to come out of the last few years’ obsession w cowboy/western/country music/aesthetics. pure mystery

https://soundcloud.com/user-366783613/redemption-7inch

#7 cities aviv come to life

i think maybe people thought cities aviv was just another no-flow pseudo-”conscious rap” type rapper in 2014 but actually this album is nuts. hyper-energetic vaporwave rap? what if death grips were happy? idk

https://citiesaviv.bandcamp.com/track/url-irl-2

#8 beach boys the smile sessions

this cool fresh 1960s rock myth arrived fully formed and way more fun than the other ones. brian wilson’s concepts and songwriting got so unwieldy we had to wait 50 years to hear the sessions. i don’t care about conversations about his genius or whatever these songs kick ass

https://oldmasterpainter.bandcamp.com/track/surfs-up

#9 mindspring memories & intl. debris international memories

did this really only come out in 2017? i feel like i’ve been listening to it since i was born. tangential lateral kind of wormhole out of vaporwave into two meditative spiritual infinite-feeling loops that perfectly complement each other

https://noproblematapes.bandcamp.com/track/sad-horizons

#10 nyege nyege tapes sounds of sisso

absolutely obnoxiously insanely high energy high pitch high bpm dance music. i can’t believe this isn’t what people mean when they say future bass. set me down the path of historical and contemporary non-”global north” ideas about dance/rhythm/bass which i’m still on

https://nyegenyegetapes.bandcamp.com/track/mshamba-video-mster

#11 blithe field face always toward the sun

the most gorgeous implementation of the sorta-ambient guitar-looping vignette aesthetic. is this a real trope or did i listen to this album so much i convinced myself it was a thing? for me this is the sound of what its like to feel completely content with life and at ease in the moment

https://blithefield.bandcamp.com/track/zen-den

#12 anohni hopelessness

listening to this album and singing along while driving my car made me feel absolutely disgusting. unbelievable hooks, grossly hi fi sound design, and overblown drama add up to imo a scary effective type of explicitly political or ‘protest’ music

https://anohni.bandcamp.com/track/drone-bomb-me

#13 21 savage, offset, & metro boomin without warning

why is these 3 pop stars’ vaguely halloween-themed one-off collab my favorite trap album? 21 savage, offset, and metro boomin were all wildly corny in different ways but everything was perfectly balanced. i hope metro boomin makes like one seriously ambient album next decade

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWv-bR_X-VM&list=PLC1uUM4twa8i6zsD_Sn1LRUq4vhl_PLCx&index=11&t=0s

#14 laura les big summer jams 2018

‘crying in the club’ type bangers with no fear of ugliness and no fear of beauty and no fear of wildly unfashionable tropes like skrillex-y dubstep and guitar solos. so much input from other trans/queer artists it felt like a big t4t party

https://osno1.bandcamp.com/track/the-river-feat-scum-yung-skrrt-and-99jakes

#15 triad god nxb

the other triad god tape from 7 years later is just as good. what was this man doing in the intervening time? i just imagine him riding london public transit while it rains or something. i love knowing that most of his cantonese spoken-word/rap parts are insults and jokes rather than like, melancholy observations

https://soundcloud.com/hipposintanks/triad-god-remand

#16 dj koze knock knock

what if pop music sounded like this? somehow every song on here is wildly danceable, wildly sing-alongable, and also wildly detail-oriented. feels like a transmission from an alternate present where things are okay

https://djkoze.bandcamp.com/track/club-der-ewigkeiten

#17  ocora world of traditional music

box set of “world music” recordings from the label that french electronic composer pierre schaeffer started in the 1950s as a project to teach people in rural west africa how to dj. ethnography can be a fucked up idea but afaik ocora is one of the good ones and if you can sorta try to disengage from the tropes/cliches that get imposed on it, the music is phenomenal. hard to find a track specific to this box set but here’s another from the label

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJm8rn6gW5I

#18 oneohtrix point never replica

opn feels like an artist i’ve ‘grown out of’ i guess but samples never felt more alive or more dead than they did on replica. set a template for the kind of melancholy ‘soundscape’-y vibe that i spent years trying to find more of after

https://oneohtrixpointnever1.bandcamp.com/track/power-of-persuasion

#19 rihanna anti

the most perfect imaginable pop album. i keep trying to move it higher up. i almost put club chai vol 1 on this list purely cause of the Woo remix but then i remembered the original is better

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dDCUKElEwk

#20 colleen a flame my love a frequency

colleen’s ultra deadpan singing and wriggly rhythmic synth put me in a trance. everything sounded dry as hell even though it was covered in reverb. i think maybe some people were put off by the corny song names and lyrics

https://colleencolleen.bandcamp.com/track/separating

#21 dj paypal drake edits

back when drake seemed like a sorta-shitty dude rather than seriously creepy, dj paypal used the power of footwork to expose both the melancholy-ambient modality and the serious-bass-music modality latent in his voice and beats

https://mallmusicinc.com/track/brand-new

#22 huerco s. for those of you who have never (and also those who have)

not really as ambient as it first seems imo, but rather like a really intense focus on what we mean when we describe things as ‘static’ or ‘dynamic’. i know it’s corny but i wanna say these tracks are fully both and fully neither

https://brianleeds.bandcamp.com/track/promises-of-fertility

#23 girls rituals reddishness

for a track so deliberately shitty-sounding I Know had no right to be so fucking danceable. persona and production synthesized into the only ‘singer-songwriter’ music i could really get into

https://temporaryenjoyment.bandcamp.com/track/i-know

#24 chromatics kill for love

fakeass 80s retro melancholia digitized and pushed so far past pastiche it turned into pure slime. the phone call in There’s A Light Out On The Horizon came straight from the void

https://soundcloud.com/johnnyjewel/chromatics-kill-for-love-album

#25 actress ghettoville

the only genuinely post-apocalyptic music. specifically the postapocalypse in wall-e but if there was no wall-e to clean it up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcCPdfUFq6k

#26 playboi carti die lit

every beat on this album was reducible to a 4-second loop that perpetually demanded its own repetition and playboi carti somehow knew exactly what to do with them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2pjiKmhlAI

#27 charli xcx vroom vroom

the charli xcx that came after this was fun, but there was black hole levels of power compacted into when she said vroom vroom on Vroom Vroom

https://soundcloud.com/vroomvroomrecordings/charli-xcx-vroom-vroom

#28 pacific breeze: japanese city pop, aor & boogie 1976-1986

it’s kind of amazing to think that this compilation only exists because vaporwave aesthetics made ‘japanese grocery-store kitsch from the 80s’ a marketable thing in the us. anyway every single one of these is an absolute bop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl91bvEKj20

#29 young thug barter 6

i can’t get enough of listening to young thug’s voice. i’ve seen his rhythmic-melodic-textural sensibility described as virtuosic and i don’t know really if that term means anything but it feels right to me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg9ZxQKSDuw

#30 magic eye babylon

smeared dreamy lo-fi guitar music w wistful buried melodies pushed to an extreme. every song sounded the same and i wish there was more than the one cassette

https://magiceye.bandcamp.com/track/flame

#31 tirzah devotion

you could say this was ‘stripped down’ r&b but i think more accurately what separated it was that every sound stood exactly and only for itself

https://tirzah.bandcamp.com/track/basic-need

#32 mount eerie clear moon

it’s amazing how well mount eerie navigated the move from a lo-fi sound/mode/affect to a hi-fi sound/mode/affect. clear moon wasn’t his first attempt but it was the one that most embodied the feeling of the new possilibities that had been opened up

https://pwelverumandsun.bandcamp.com/track/through-the-trees-pt-2

#33 kelela aquaphoria

this mix was such a good idea it immediately seemed shocking nobody else had tried afaik. and kelela executed it so well you forgot the tracks already existed in other contexts

https://soundcloud.com/kelelam/aquaphoria

#34 james ferraro skid row

not sure what it means that the only james ferraro i really love is also the one i think of as the least abstract/conceptual. his recited lyrics had a rare spoken-word-poetic power

https://breakworldrecords.bandcamp.com/track/to-live-and-die-in-la

#35 salyu x salyu s(o)un(d)beams

absolutely unbounded sense of joy and creativity and possibility hovering between bangers-lite and ‘soundscape’-y electronic manipulation

https://soundcloud.com/snouu/salyu-x-salyu-s-o-un-d-beams

#36 dj rashad just a taste vol 1

double cup got all the press but it was so smoothed-over it could never have done something as absurdly beautiful as Ghost or even Go Crazy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZuHPAbte9U

#37 yves tumor serpent music

i’m sorta put off by the high-gloss sheen of music like this but serpent music somehow had the right combination of total cohesion and a ridiculous density of impactful moments

https://soundcloud.com/pan_hq/yves-tumor-the-feeling-when-you-walk-away-pan-73?in=pan_hq/sets/yves-tumor-serpent-music-pan

#38 maral mahur club

lo-fi beat collage elevated to something that could actually genuinely be called world music

https://astralplanerecordings.bandcamp.com/track/avesta-khani-reggaeton

#39 lucki ecks watch my back

did not expect this super low-stakes sadboy trap to end up on this list but i love his min-effort flow and somehow every beat is exactly the vibe even when the tracks aren’t volume balanced

https://soundcloud.com/boob7/leave-wit-you-prod-plu2o-nash-clams-casino?in=boob7/sets/watch-my-back

#40 arca stretch 2

not sure why i get more out of arca’s nonsense broken-beat non-rap than any of her later projects

https://unonyc.bandcamp.com/track/tapped-in

#41 klein only

a new way to do fucked up noise w pop leanings. ‘audacitycore’

https://klein1997.bandcamp.com/track/pretty-black-2

#42 city arcadia

another mysterious transmission, this time w lots of harp

https://soundcloud.com/halcyon-veil/city-arcadia

[st0ned-butch-blues]

new year, new me (for real this time)

2017 was absolutely the worst year of my life. But I have this weirdly strong gut feeling that 2018 will be a pivotal moment for me, and honestly I’ve never gone into a new year with this much optimism and willingness to grow and change. Here’s a long ass post for me to list out all the shit I want to work on and to just get all the clutter out of my head. This is the first time I’ve really set new year’s resolutions so yay me.

~2018 Resolutions~

1. Be healthier physically and mentally

Try to go to bed 1 am at the latest or get at least 7 hours of sleep.

No more binge eating vending machine snacks to replace meals.

tbh exercise is not realistic, but at least try not to be sitting 24/7 aka get off yo ass!!

Work on self-love. Put in the effort to dress nice so you feel more confident about yourself. Take more photos and maybe even post them on social media instead of being so hypercritical of your body.

But also it’s okay to be ugly?? Your worth is not tied to your beauty, and fuck a society that pressures women to be “beautiful” 24/7.

Remove the internalized shame you have against being sexually active (with yourself and with others), esp as a woman. You probably won’t be ready for the idea of casual sex. So first work on confronting your sexual trauma, getting over your trust issues, and trying to love your body the way it is. Maybe try masturbation as a solution towards healing your unhealthy relationship with sex??

Be better about self-reflection and capturing memories both good and bad (maybe actually commit to journaling for once) Allow yourself to feel things and talk about your emotions with others.

Develop healthier coping mechanisms when you’re having bad mental health days.

Animals give you so much sheer joy, so find a way to reintroduce animals in your life now that Izzie is gone. Maybe volunteer at the Humane Society. Being around animals will do wonders for your mental health.

2. Improve your social life

Be more involved SOCIALLY in clubs. Yes, you have a bunch of board positions and help w logistics and programming, but actually make an effort to socialize with the people in your clubs.

Tell your social anxiety to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. People don’t hate you. Branch out and make friends.

But also be a better friend to the ones you do have. Also stop being such a passive friend. Ask your friends to hang out, facetime, grab a meal, watch a movie, etc. Make a list of fun activities to do with friends!!

Fuck. Cishet. Boys. They are the biggest reason you’re as fucked up as you are right now, so you really need to take a break. Stop seeking validation from them and love your-fucking-self.

Instead, be more gay!! #happy20gayteen

But actually tho. You finally having the freedom to explore your queer identity. You’re not tied down by an unhealthy relationship and you’re an out and proud bi girl (at least in college). Find your queer community because THOSE ARE YOUR PEOPLE.

Stop obsessing over the idea of being in a relationship. That’s been your unhealthy security blanket for 3-4 fucking years and you need to learn how to love yourself independent of being in a relationship. Plus, you’re in such a shitty shape that it just wouldn’t be fair for anyone to date you rn. Stop being a hot mess and then just let a relationship come to you. If it happens it happens, and if it doesn’t, wait till there’s actually a decent dating pool when you move back to the west coast LOL.

3. Get your academic shit together. Plan for your future career/life.

Officially decided not to transfer. But be careful about falling into periods of depression. Try to not just survive, but find ways to be genuinely happy at Colby. Be productive, but in a healthy way.

Fuck grades. Learn for the sake of learning.

But also learn how to be a good student just to build good work habits. (buy the Forest study app since you’re highly motivated to help others and the planet more than you are helping yourself lmao... fight climate change while studying to fight climate change!!!!)

On that note, don’t skip class. It only makes you fall behind and anxious about your teachers hating you. (newsflash: they don’t!!)

Develop better relationships with teachers, don’t be afraid to interact with them just because they’re an authority figure.

Be the good student that you know you are. Don’t be afraid of failure or looking dumb. Participate in class! Ask those stupid questions! Get help when you need it!

Get back into reading and then take notes on significant findings/quotes cause you know your ADHD brain will forget. You got a nook and made a book list on goodreads, so that’s a good first step!

Create more content (photos, videos, documentaries, podcasts, make a list of projects you want to work on)

Watch more content (documentaries, maybe podcasts, and also tv shows/movies for fun)

Also clean up your personal blog, your tag system is a hOt mEsS

Continue learning more about environmental justice, sustainable agriculture, and food sovereignty.

Last year you definitely avoided red meat, but this year commit to 100% cutting out red meat and reducing your consumption of meat in general (esp when it is not responsibly sourced). Instead, eat sustainable seafood whenever possible.

Pay more attention to where you’re spending money and think about who you’re choosing to support with your dollar (maybe log your purchases and also learn how to budget?)

Continue reconnecting with your korean heritage. Learn the history, listen to korean music, possibly even learn the language. Keep talking about korean shit w korean ppl.

Don’t forget to apply for internships/summer programs, because you don’t want to be stuck with your family again for the entire summer. Maybe try to live in a city by yourself, or get away from your family/hometown in general.

[popwasabi]

Some 2019 movies that were...fine.

 I watch a lot of movies every year and I try my best to make time to review all of them, not just because I like to write and to keep my blog running with relevant content but because it’s also just good practice.

I need to find creative ways to express myself and dissecting all the ways a movie does and doesn’t work is a great mental exercise for me. The great movies can be all about the complex writing highlighting the directorial shot design and thematic storytelling and vice versa while the bad films can be an autopsy of what exactly killed the whole production.

But there are some movies I just don’t get around to saying much of anything about because well…they evoke no strong feelings bad or good for me after watching them. They’re…fine for a lack of a better word and there’s nothing wrong with that; I’ve watched a ton of ok films that I forget about within days and I’m still pretty happy I got to see them.

I did want to talk a little about the ones I saw this year though because while I had no strong feelings about them I did have a few thoughts and I feel they are worth mentioning here. So, without further ado some “fine” films of 2019:

 The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

The first “Lego Movie” was a delightful smash hit back in 2014. A comedic meta-commentary on pop culture, Legos, and consumerism while a thoughtful look at family and imagination, the movie was better than it had any right to be and helped kickstart two more Lego film spinoffs before its eventual 2019 sequel.

Anchored again by its star-studded cast there’s a lot of good humor once again in this film and it’s a fun family comedy from start to finish. The thing is it doesn’t say anything particularly new and feels like a rehash of much of the same themes and closer to a “Direct to DVD” sequel in terms of imagination.

There’s a by the numbers feel to the plot compared to the more organically creative ideas that went into the first movie and it's just not as fun of a ride this time around. This said it’s still a fun one and kids and families alike more than likely will and have enjoyed it.

All in all, not a bad movie and worth a watch if you liked the first, perhaps on a long flight back from Honolulu like I did this summer.

 Shazam!

I love Shazam. I think he’s one of the most fun characters in the DC superhero gallery and a character more than worthy of a big-screen film. He finally got one back in April 2019 and it’s frankly, a perfect take on a classic comic book character fit for the whole family to enjoy.

So why was it just fine for me?

Well, while I do like Shazam and his movie quite a bit there really isn’t a whole lot there beyond it being just that. It’s a superhero film that doesn’t take itself too seriously and the story, for the most part, doesn’t do so either with nothing truly profound to say. There’s a nice found family theme going on in it and the cast of child actors are shockingly great and when they all (SPOILER) eventually transform into their adult counterparts they play up their silly child-like demeanor perfectly. Zachary Levi is of course perfect but it’s Jack Dylan-Grazer who steals the show as Billy Batson’s foster brother delivering plenty of great quips and good humor throughout. But again, there’s not much beyond that than just being a fun superhero romp.

This is a great movie to introduce small children to the genre of superheroes and if I had kids this would definitely be a movie I would take them to see. I’m sure children of all ages probably enjoyed the hell out of it and though it’s no “Dark Knight” or “Endgame,” of course, that’s apples to oranges and frankly who cares? It did what it was supposed to do, which was deliver a nice friendly alternative to the brooding darker superhero takes of Hollywood and frankly I’m more than interested in watching more of Shazam in the future.

 John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum

The first two “John Wick” films are, for the most part, perfect action shoot’em ups. Stylish, creatively violent, and a perfect antithesis to the lazy, unimaginative, explosive-heavy movies that Hollywood normally churns out, the “John Wick” films are the smooth glass of chardonnay to other actions movie jitter-inducing Rockstar energy drink style of film-making.

Chapter 3 is still several notches higher than the average Hollywood action flick and Keanu Reeves is still delightfully dry and deadpan as the hyper-focused killer that is John Wick but as far as the bar set by the first two films “Parabellum” is a few steps below the standard they set.

For one, it’s more or less the same story as the last one. Wick breaks some law set by the underworld of crime and now every assassin, hitman/woman, thug, etc is out to kill him. There are still some fun as hell choreographed gun-kata sequences in this film and plenty of gnarly deaths but the story ultimately doesn’t advance much. Wick films aren’t known for their compelling narratives of course but Chapter 2 at least expanded upon what the first film started; Chapter 3 is content to keep much of the story arcs where they were before only seeming to go a new direction at the very, very end.

This said it’s still a fun movie and a worthy alternative to much of the action schlock Hollywood normally churns out but as far as a John Wick film goes it’s disappointing.

 Always be my Maybe

Ali Wong has been on a comedic tear for a few years now. Her two Netflix stand-up specials are great where she talks about the realities of pregnancy, being Asian American, and of course “trappin’ his ass!” and she has even more on the way.

The “Fresh off the Boat” writer is quickly becoming more and more mainstream and her first major starring role came this summer in the form of Netflix’s “Always be my Maybe” alongside the highly underappreciated Randall Park. “Always be my Maybe” is a perfectly fine romantic comedy that fans of the genre will surely enjoy, with enough of a good sense of humor to keep even those who aren’t entertained from start to finish. Keanu Reeves’ cameo as an overly eccentric version of himself is of course the best part of the movie and worth the stream on that alone but the movie doesn’t lend much of anything truly memorable beyond that.

It’s a fairly by the numbers rom-com and offers few real surprises.

This said it does continue Hollywood’s new and long overdue upward trend of Asian American representation and certainly helped moved the needle in the right direction to make critical darlings such as “The Farewell” possible. In the past, a movie like this would need to be extraordinarily good to make Asian America feel relevant but if anything its greatest accomplishment is that it shows that Asian American can have a perfectly “fine,” average romantic comedy like any other white centric film in the genre before it and for that I’m grateful.

 Fast & Furious: Hobbs & Shaw

When the trailers came out for this I was really hoping this would be the kind of fun, over the top bad that films like “XXX” and other “Fast & Furious” films in the cool cars, hot chicks, and guns genre have been about for decades but instead, I got a mildly entertaining, decent dose of macho escapism for two hours with only some fun bad moments.

Many have discussed before how “The Rock” is in dire need of having his charismatic skills used alongside more talented directors and a film like this perfectly encapsulates how he has limited himself to these boring, one-dimensional, macho, stoic types over and over again. Jason Statham isn’t much better and frankly an actor who should do comedy more often as his early Guy Ritchie roles showed the guy can do a lot more than just scowl and throw some fancy martial arts at the screen over and over again.

My biggest problem though is the movie doesn’t go nearly far enough in being ridiculous and takes itself just seriously enough to make it a fairly mundane and uneventful action flick instead of being ridiculous, over the top schlock as it should be. This is a movie that features shirtless Samoans doing the Haka before fighting black suited, well-armed mercenaries using war clubs and yet still isn’t nearly as crazy as it should be.

This all said, it’s another “fine” movie for what it is and a decent escape from the doldrums of work life that you can turn your brain off to on a Friday night. You could do waaay worse than “Hobbs & Shaw” even if you’re only interested in the “so bad it’s good” camp of the genre but man, this could have been much more fun in the worst way.

 Uncut Gems

This will probably be my most controversial choice on this list and perhaps it was my somewhat bloated expectations going in or maybe I’m just not too big of a fan of the “owe the mob money” genre but I just didn’t get a lot out of watching this movie.

For one there is not so much dialogue in this movie as there is just YELLING! So. Much. YELLING! Every line seems to be screeched at one another with a couple hundred expletives for good measure added for extra edge and its rather grating. A lot was made about it being a bareknuckle thriller that holds your captivation from start to finish but honestly, the best parts, for me at least, were when they slowed down and the characters spoke plainly without screaming at one another.

The film needed more moments where the story was allowed to stew and we got the characters to reflect on everything. These moments in the movie are more uncomfortable (in a good way) than the violence that chases the main characters around throughout the story. It just sprints from start to finish giving very little time to really understand the psyche behind Sandler’s character beyond he’s a fuck up who can’t stop making one more horrible mistake.

This said Sandler really is pretty sharp in this movie and showcases a bit of range that he’s been capable of for more than a while and the music in the film is great and plays greatly alongside each scene. A stylish 80s techno beat that highlights the criminal opulence of what’s going on around the characters, it’s almost hypnotic at times. The cinematography highlights this well with a great use of neon light and colors that make each scene truly pop in the best way.

It’s not a bad movie despite my issues, Sandler is, at worst, deserving of an acting nomination for this role and worth a watch if you get a chance to see it but “Best Picture” material as some viewers have stated? I don’t know about that.

  So, there you have it some…fine movies of 2019 that are perfectly passable and worth at least one watch if you happen to enjoy any of these various genres. I think as audience members and people of an increasingly divisive society we like to see things in only two categories; very good or very bad. Explosive arguments seem to ensue anytime someone expresses an opinion that doesn’t fit neatly on one end of the spectrum or the other and it’s a shame because our digestion of art should be a lot more diverse than it being simply binary.

This isn’t to say you should be a centrist on everything or that every middling opinion is a good take (it definitely isn’t) but be open to the idea that some people are just not going to feel super strong about one thing or another sometimes.

Just because someone thinks a film you loved is just “ok” doesn’t mean they have no taste and certainly if someone thinks a movie you hated is “not that bad” doesn’t mean they have no standards either. Sometimes our pop culture yields no strong reactions and that’s ok. Fans, film-goers, and general people alike just need to be more ok with that because at the end of the day it’s not that big of a deal.

 TL:DR be an adult. Just liking or being apathetic about a movie is fine and you should be fine with others feeling that way too.

 Happy New Year, y’all!

 *Begins typing long-winded dissection of “Cats”* (stay tuned)

[abiteofnat]

THE SUBWAY CAN’T STOP ME FROM HAVIN A GOOD TIME...

Even though my “sea legs” are a little shaky when I’m a billion feet underground and shuttling through the space-time continuum. I love public transit and rely on it to live my life, but the NYC subway is it’s own Narnia of transport. After my family left me for the rats in NYC I was to backpack between Brooklyn and the Upper East Side where two of my best and most beautiful friends recently moved to, each of them very different people and therefore providing me with a week of amazing, diverse experiences and quality #bff time. While I panicked about not having enough to do to keep us occupied I quickly realized I am naive and that NYC is definitely not lacking in things to do, anytime, ever. AND THEY DON’T LACK THINGS TO EAT! 

The first couple days were spent with a dear pal Sophia, my crossfit queen and wine connoisseur, and her boyfriend in Brooklyn where the bagels were plenty and we ate a lot of them. Bagel World is where you can find the famous Rainbow Bagel which I believe is an egg bagel with some food coloring stirred in, and with a little plain cream cheese smeared on there it’s the perfect #hangoverhelper and puts a smile on your face. The best thing about NYC bagel delis is the fact they have TUBS of cream cheese for your choosing, and you better believe there are a half a dozen flavors minimum that make the salty & sweet or savory & salty or sweet & sweet conundrum all the harder to decide. I’m a fan of a salty bagel and a sweet cream cheese, i.e. sea salt bagels with strawberry cream cheese (which I tried at Pick A Bagel -pictured below- later on that week) but that rainbow bagel realllyyyy swooned me. And, being a dumbo with caffeine-free brain, I forgot to take pics and just consumed it out of pure glee. May it live on forever in my heart.

I also went to a bombfreaking.com bagel place in the Financial District while Soph was off doing important things, and lemme tell you I absolutely adore that area of Manhattan. While it does feel very “Wolf of Wall Street” and everyone is a business person rushing around under these tall, gray buildings it’s also near the water and feels like a whole new city of it’s own. There are a ton of tiny cafes and coffee shops, bars and mini patios, and a shocking amount of flower shops. I wouldn’t make it a destination area itself but if you’re checking out the One World Trade Center (which is entirely worth seeing, it’s humbling and very breathtaking) you could walk over for a snack and a think. My find of the day was Leo’s Bagels, where I got a poppyseed and chive cream cheese bagel that blew my fucking mind. This bagel was the essential NYC bagel, broiled to chewy perfection and toasted to a golden brown and then SMOTHERED WITH CHIVE CREAM CHEESE THAT I COULD EAT WITH A SPOON FOREVER. I read a book, “The Couple Next Door”, and noshed on my bagel while watching the rain fall on the brick streets crowded with people running underneath newspapers to protect their fancy hair. It was pretty damn perfect. 

Outside of bagels, we checked out where to get sangria pitchers and talk about the trials of millennial living which lead us to Barraca, a picture-perfect corner spot in a bustling part of Greenwich. Their happy hour menu was poppin’ and we ordered pitchers of multiple types of sangria, garlic-marinated olives, pan con tomate, and expected menu items such as patatas bravas that were deep fried and topped with a glorious aioli, and then threw in some manchego cheese with grilled toast and jam. It was tasty little bites of tapas classes in a rustic yet modern setting, great people watching, and ideal lounge-forever-and-drink vibes. 

We were quite content here and should you want a casual, 5-hour European meal this is your place! Plus Greenwich is a mecca of little bars and late night restaurants, walk a little far to the Meat Packing District to the clubs and fancy pants bars, and the world is your $15 cocktail. Voila! 

The last leg of my trip was spent with my oldest and most vegan friend Lolo who went above and beyond to show me an authentic day in the life of her and her huge, beautiful friend group which led us to some pretty cool and totally veggie-friendly spots. Lolo being the wonder she is also let me stop for bagels at any moment and for that she wins an award seeing as she doesn’t even eat bagels! And I’m so indecisive with them! 

One of the first places we went to was the food court in The Plaza as it’s a staple for her and I had never been. We woke up ~hella~ early with the world on a Saturday to scamper to Central Park and sit in line for 5 hours to get Shakespeare in the Park tickets for A Midsummer Night’s Dream, as it’s free Broadway theater that is packed every single night of the summer, and after scoring four beautiful tickets our eyes were glazed over and my stomach was screaming “FUCK THE ARTS I NEED FOOD”. So we headed to The Plaza, went underneath the elite hotel section to the similarly elite yet casual eatery, and I was shell shocked. I don’t know what I expected, but this food court felt like the most glorious spread of gourmet foods offered to raggedy people like us in baseball caps and tennis shoes. 

Lolo led me to the coffee that to this minute of my life is still the best iced coffee I’ve ever had, and with a splash of almond milk and simple syrup I couldn’t quite believe that coffee from a French stand in a food court was changing my entire life. It’s called Epicerie Boulud, and you should go N O W. 

We also stopped and got sushi from the sushi stand which would be a running trend of the weekend (little did I know). One of the things I love about my girl is she is an avid sushi fan even though it’s just veggies and rice all wrapped up because she’s meat free, and I can eat sushi for ever single meal without turning into an actual piece of tuna and be happy. It was VERY VERY good sushi, and the men making it were so happy to be rolling up some rolls for the line of people sitting along the prep station and watching. Nothing like live theater, no matter what kind it is. 

After this meal we went to Central Park with some goodies from Whole Foods and picnicked until the show started, and my oh MY free Shakespeare was remarkable. The set, the costumes, alllllll of it was so extra and not to mention you’re watching it in the middle of Central Park with Manhattan lighting up all around you! 

The last meal spent in NYC was at ~drum roll please~ Chelsea Market, a spot I had never gotten to and was so eager to see. IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT! Within this old, brick + steel building there are a billion little shops and curiosity stalls, one at which I bought an ancient postcard of Lady Liberty that I’m obsessed with. This was also the first trip I went out on the river to see Lady Liberty and I think I fell in love a little bit. That statue made me so damn emotional and I kind of can’t wait to go back and wander Ellis Island for a bit. Plus, the boat had a bar on board, and who doesn’t love a Blue Moon while cruising on the Hudson?

At the Chelsea Market we went to Lolo’s favorite place which is called Beyond Sushi and it’s completely vegan and grassy sushi + other sides that SHOOK ME. TO THE CORE. First off, the rice was purple. Second of all, the side of kimchi was so good that I ate it like salad all on it’s own and almost forgot to eat the other aspects of my meal. Try any and all things on the menu; it is all so fresh and delicately made that you don’t even realize there’s no fish/dairy/animal product in them. I’m the first to scoff at sushi that’s devoid of the most insane amount of tobiko/ahi tuna/octopus, but this was legitimately crunch and full of flavor and a remarkable balance of flavor. 

Yep. It’s unreal. Yep. See those test tubes of sauce? The plum sauce is best on EVERYTHING. HOW HELPFUL IS THAT. 

Right next door to Beyond Sushi is Pineapple Express, the glorious spot where the nicest woman in the world stayed open to make me one of the Insta-famous pineapples filled with pineapple soft serve and topped with fresh fruit, coconut shavings, and an umbrella. Also vegan, this makes the most luscious dessert to end a salty meal with and is perfect for sharing as long as you don’t mind accidental spoon wars. O.M.G. it was so good! And tip this woman well, she loves her job makin’ pretty fruits. 

WOWZA AM I RIGHT? Although the Chelsea Market closes relatively early, it is so worth going for a bite to eat and a wander about. You never know what treasures you’re going to find! 

Thanks for reading through my NYC adventures, I promise I also have fun Chicago spots to try and that I’m not leaving annyyy time soon. Ok? Ok. 

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie

[becumsh]

Top 5 worst fics you ever read + Top 5 small pleasures you like the most in life

Top 5 (+1) small pleasures I like most in life

Perfectly brewed tea with the perfect milk totea ratio. A perfect cup of tea can save the day. The most important andfundamental little pleasure in my life.

Being atthe right time and at the right place. To me, it happened a couple of weeksago. I was on a terrible date, but the date and I sat on the bench. And fromour spot you could see a panorama of St. Petersburg across the river Neva. Thesun was warm, the weather was pleasant and a light breeze was soft on my skin.I felt grounded, calm and just happy, because I happened to be there, to see mybeautiful city at the exact time I was there.

Bedtimereading to my 3 years old cousin. He’s a pain in the back for the majority oftime, and I have no idea where he gets all the energy from for all the runningand screaming. He’s a handful but can be a great fun sometimes too.

Re-readinga favourite book. Feels like meeting a friend after a long time apart.

Earlymorning routine. Wake up early on my own accord. Drink a glass of water firstday in the morning, do a 10-15 minutes yoga session to stretch sleepy musclesand get the juices flowing. Do some household chores. Make either an avocadotoast or a tofu scramble for breakfast.

Pulling a productive all-nighter during the summer. I’m an ‘all-nighter’ sort of writer/vidder. But I don’t do it often because it disrupts my already screwed up sleeping pattern. But I love it. We have White Nights in St. Petersburg during the summer, the night is quiet and some really good ideas come to mind. This is when I get the majority of work done.

top 5 worstfics (bottom 5?)

I’ve readmy fair share of bad fanfiction, but I can’t really say that I remember them all.You know, the definition of ‘bad fanfiction’ is very loose. It’s either notyour kink, not your cup of tea, the fandom characterisation you don’t agreewith, or you just avoid it altogether because fics like these are very easy tospot. However, I do have a few fics that come to mind.

Out ofrespect to writers (because despite my poor opinion on their works, it doesn’tmean that I should point the fingers at) I am not going to name anytitles/usernames. If you have a hunch what this fic might be, pat yourself onthe back, but I’m not giving out any names.

Whouffaldi massive (90k-ish) fic, pre-s8. I think it was posted on ff.net?Basically, as far as I remember (I did read it quite a while back, late 2014 Ithink). The sole reason why I read it was because back then there were like… 5whouffaldi fics? And it was one of the biggest? I mean, I was desperate, okay. Iremember that the first 10 or so chapters were readable and I didn’t skip alot. It wasn’t especially entertaining but it wasn’t too bad and satisfied mycraving for whouffaldi content. But after that. Oh, man, AFTER THAT. Clara getsa screwdriver, okay, I concede. Clara gets pregnant because the fucking TARDIShas been feeding her something? I dare ask what exactly could she possibly feedClara with? Digestible sperm? And then, to top it off, Clara becomes a TimeLady? How. H O W. I mean, if it was explained and wrapped up into a near andentertaining plot, I could’ve lived with that, however crazy this shit mightbe. But the plot was boring, felt fake and the language was basic af. No. Ididn’t like it. I don’t think I even finished the last couple of chapters,because that’s where my sanity ran out.

Johnlock omega!verse. Ok, hear me out. I don’t like omega verse, but I do read it fromtime to time. I found it accidentally, on a general AO3 Johnlock tag and decidedto give it a go. It was Jane Eyre AU or something. And literally, all my senseswere screaming that this shit is W R O N G, but I can’t just drop a fic withoutreading it all, can I. Basically, Sherlock was a young male nanny to John’sson. John was that hunky, athletic, a child of all Hemsworth brothers and ChrisEvans, a generic wet dream. The writer literally RELISHED in describing John’sform and build. Sherlock was a shy, beautiful, fragile omega, literally, bringme the bin, I want to vomit. And so many things are so Wrong? Sherlock goesinto ‘heat’ and John and he have sex? Without, you know, actual sober consent?The fuck? Sherlock is a stand-in for a stereotypical swooning female with allthat descriptive language of a damsel in distress? Idk, each to their own, butI felt fucking icky after reading it.

The post-s4 Johnlock fic of one of the writers that I don’t like. They arewidely known, incredibly popular, but I don’t like their writing. I read theirworks from time to time because many people recommend their fics, but I justdon’t get the hype. The majority of their works are ‘post s3 fix-its’. Ialready have a very bad relationship with these ‘fix-its’ for a number ofreasons. But their works? I just don’t know. There’s a hefty number of them ( Imay not like their works, but jesus, I fucking worship the writer for suchprolific productivity). They are long. And they are all fucking same. They arepractically identical. Now back to the fic. I understand that the majority ofJohnlock shippers LOATHE Rosie/The Baby™ because it’s Mary’s spawn but… This isa little bit extreme for John to treat his own child like that? And it’s notonly Rosie, and I concede that I might be biased (I fucking love that child,okay), it’s the characterisation of both John and Sherlock. Taking fundamentalqualities of the characters and changing them just so the OTP would happen orfor narrative purposes or for the couple to be cute… it’s. I don’t know. Imean, fanfiction is meant to be indulgent, but changing the characters to thepoint I recognize them only because they call each other ‘John’ and ‘Sherlock’kind of erases the whole point of fanfiction. But the writer is super popular,so it’s just me and the author’s writing being not my cup of tea.

McCoy/Chekov Russian fanfiction. I don’t remember much of it, it was aboutspace pirates, I think. Chekov was the criminal mastermind and McCoy was heldhostage on his ship. Fic was boring but long McChekov fics in Russian are hardto come by. But uuugh. So pointless. So out of character. So boring. So messy,I have zero clue what the fuck is going on. After a lot of pointless dialogue,attempts at interesting plot, it all ends with Chekov being the space HarryPotter who has to sacrifice himself in order to save the world. Also, some sortof God or Jesus is the villain? I don’t mind epic plots in fanfiction as longas they are well written. This one though. I don’t actually know what’s thepoint of this fic. Characters were so out of it, I had to scroll back and checkthat I was still reading a Star Trek fanfiction with Chekov and McCoy.

I don’tactually know if it’s a fanfic or a series or completely different works. Butthere’s an omega!verse WIP in trevilieu tag on AO3 that keeps updating. And itannoys the fuck out of me. I understand it’s just a matter of my ownpreferences and my taste but I’m so fucking tired of checking my dear ol’trevilieu tag, seeing the fic/update, seeing ‘omega!verse’ slapped in the tagsand thinking ‘ugh, not again’. I remember that a while ago there was a veryhuge omega!verse fic that kept popping in the trevilieu tag becauseRichelieu/Treville was a secondary ship. And I read about 5-10 chapters of it.And man. I hated pretty much everything, but the world-building and plot andstorytelling were so fucking great! The plot was so interesting and I was actuallysurprised that I was so captivated by it. The one that keeps reappearing now,though… Has no redeeming qualities. I mean, now I’m just bitching aboutunimportant thing, but seriously though. I concede that each to their own,everyone has their own cup of tea and such and such. But I’m just peeved thattrevilieu is such an interesting relationship, such a complex one, but fuck no,let’s write about self-lubricating anuses. I swear to god, awhile backomega!verse fanfiction in trevilieu tag outnumbered any other category. Butagain, that’s just me and my preferences.