#and johnny wonders if he can die twice

[currentlylurking]

every december I abruptly remember the same fic concept I've had for literal years where Johnny 13 hosts an absolute garbage Christmas Truce party. Like just the worst party ever. It was supposed to be a potluck but there's no food aside from chip dip Danny brought and ghost weed. Everyone is bored out of their minds.

Except Danny saw on the invitation (which was written on a crumpled receipt from Johnny's pocket, purely because Kitty insisted on at least that, and thrown at him mid fight) that he can 'invite whoever'.

So he'd invited Clockwork.

And as soon as Clockwork arrives everyone loses their minds because uhhhh?? hey THE LITERAL GOD OF TIME is here???

[mooseyspooky]

Songs Moz says he wrote about Johnny:

-Angel, Angel Down We Go Together

Meanwhile, all the songs that I think are actually about Johnny, or in some way referring to him:

-Hand In Glove (1983)

-No, it's not like any other love. This one is different, because it's us.

-So, hand in glove I stake my claim. I'll fight to the last breath. If they dare touch a hair on your head, I'll fight to the last breath. For the good life is out there somewhere. So stay on my arm, you little charmer, but I know my luck too well. Yes, I know my luck too well. And I'll probably never see you again.

-Reel Around The Fountain (1983)

-Fifteen minutes with you. Well, I wouldn't say no. Oh, people said that you were virtually dead, and they were so wrong.

-I dreamt about you last night, and I fell out of bed twice. You can pin and mount me like a butterfly, but, "Take me to the haven of your bed" was something that you never said. Two lumps, please. You're the bee's knees but so am I.

-What Difference Does It Make? (1982)

-All men have secrets and here is mine. So let it be known. For we have been through hell and high tide. I think I can rely on you, and yet you start to recoil. Heavy words are so lightly thrown, but still I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you.

-But now you know the truth about me. You won't see me anymore. Well, I'm still fond of you.

-But I'm still fond of you. Oh, my sacred one.

-Miserable Lie (Linder/Johnny) (1982)

-I know I need hardly say how much I love your casual way. Oh, but please put your tongue away. A little higher and we're well away. The dark nights are drawing in, and your humor is as black as them. I look at yours, you laugh at mine, and "love" is just a miserable lie. You have destroyed my flower-like life. Not once - twice. You have corrupt my innocent mind. Not once - twice.

-This Charming Man (1983)

-When in this charming car. This charming man.

-Why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?

-This man said, "It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care."

-These Things Take Time (1982)

-Mine eyes have seen the glory of the sacred wunderkind.

-But I can't believe that you'd ever care, and this is why you will never care.

-I'm spellbound, but a woman divides, and the hills are alive with celibate cries. But you know where you came from, you know where you're going, and you know where you belong. You said I was ill and you were not wrong.

-The alcoholic afternoons when we sat in your room - they meant more to me than any than any living thing on earth. It had more worth than any living thing on earth. Vivid and in your prime. You will leave me behind.

-Handsome Devil (1982)

-You ask me the time, but I sense something more. And I would like to give what I think you're asking for.

-You handsome devil. Oh, you handsome devil. Let me get my hands on your mammary glands, and let me get your head on the conjugal bed.

-I crack the whip, and you skip, but you deserve it. And when we're in your scholarly room, who will swallow whom?

-Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (1984)

-So for once in my life let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the last time.

-I Want The One I Can't Have (1984)

-On the day that your mentality decides to try to catch up with your biology - come 'round. 'Cause I want the one I can't have, and it's driving me mad. It's all over, all over, all over my face.

-And if you ever need self-validation just meet me in the alley by the railway-station. It's all over my face.

-That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore (1984)

-Park the car at the side of the road. You should know time's tide will smother you - and I will too. When you laugh about people who feel so very lonely their only desire is to die - well, I'm afraid it doesn't make me smile.

-It was dark as I drove the point home, and on cold leather seats - well, it suddenly struck me. I just might die with a smile on my face after all.

-Well I Wonder (1983/1984)

-Do you hear me when you sleep? I hoarsely cry.

-Do you see me when we pass? I half-die.

-Please keep me in mind.

-I Know It's Over (1985)

-I know it's over - still I cling. I don't know where else I can go.

-Sad veiled bride, please be happy. Handsome groom, give her room. Loud, loutish lover, treat her kindly. Though she needs you more than she loves you.

-I know it's over, and it never really began, but in my heart it was so real. And you even spoke to me, and said: "If you're so funny then why are you on your own tonight? And if you're so clever then why are you on your own tonight? If you're so very entertaining then why are you on your own tonight? If you're so very good-looking why do you sleep alone tonight?"

-Love is natural and real, but not for you, my love. Not tonight, my love. Love is natural and real, but not for such as you and I, my love.

-Never Had No One Ever (1985)

-Now I'm outside your house - I'm alone. And I'm outside your house. I hate to intrude.

-The Boy with the Thorn in His Side (1985)

-How can they look into my eyes, and still they don't believe me? How can they hear me say those words - still they don't believe me? And if they don't believe me now will they ever believe me?

-How can they see the love in our eyes, and still they don't believe us? And after all this time they don't want to believe us. And if they don't believe us now will they ever believe us?

-There Is a Light That Never Goes Out (1985)

-Driving in your car. I never, never want to go home. Because I haven't got one anymore.

-Driving in your car. Please don't drop me home.

-And if a double-decker bus crashes into us - to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die. And if a ten ton truck kills the both of us - to die by your side...well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.

-Take me out tonight. Take me anywhere, I don't care. And in the darkened underpass I thought, "Oh God, my chance has come at last." But then a strange fear gripped me, and I just couldn't ask.

-Stretch Out and Wait (1985)

-All the lies that you make up...what's at the back of your mind? Your face I can see, and it's desperately kind - but what's at the back of your mind?

-Amid concrete and clay, and general decay, nature must still find a way. So ignore all the codes of the day. Let your juvenile impulses sway...God, how sex implores you to let yourself lose yourself.

-Stretch out and wait. Let your puny body lie down. As we lie, you say...stretch out and...

-Shakespeare's Sister (1985)

-But I'm going to meet the one I love. So, please don't stand in my way, because I'm going to meet the one I love.

-I can smile about it now, but at the time it was terrible.

-Sweet and Tender Hooligan (1986)

-He said that he'd never, never do it again, and of course he won't - not until the next time.

-Would you look into those motherly eyes? I love you for you, my love, you, my love.

-Is It Really So Strange? (1986)

-And I can't help the way I feel. You can kick me, and you can punch me, and you can break my face, but you won't change the way I feel. 'Cause I love you.

-Is it really so strange? I say no, you say yes - and you will change your mind.

-London (1986)

-Smoke lingers 'round your fingers. Train a-heave on to Euston. Do you think you've made the right decision this time?

-You left your girlfriend on the platform with this really ragged notion that you'll return, but she knows that when he goes, he really goes. And do you think you've made the right decision this time?

-Ask (1986)

-So if there's something you'd like to try...Ask me, I won't say no, how could I?

-Because if it's not love then it's the bomb...that will bring us together.

-Nature is a language, can't you read?

-I Started Something I Couldn't Finish (1987)

-The lanes were silent. There was nothing, no one, nothing around for miles. I doused our friendly venture with a hard-faced, three-word gesture.

-I started something, I forced you to a zone - and you were clearly never meant to go. Hair brushed and parted, typical me...I started something, and now I'm not too sure.

-I grabbed you by guilded beams. That's what tradition means. And I doused another venture with a gesture that was absolutely vile.

-Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before (1987)

-Nothing's changed. I still love you, oh, I still love you...only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love.

-Who said I'd lied to her? Who said I'd lied, because I never...

-Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me (1987)

-Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. No hope, no harm. Just another false alarm.

-Last night I felt real arms around me. No hope, no harm. Just another false alarm.

-I Won't Share You (1987)

-I won't share you, no. I won't share you. With the drive and ambition. The zeal I feel, this is my time.

-Life tends to come and go. That's okay...as long as you know.

-I'll see you somewhere. I'll see you sometime, darling.

-I Keep Mine Hidden (1987)

-Hate, love and war force emotions to the fore, but not for me of course, of course. I keep mine hidden.

-But it's so easy for you...because you let yours flail into public view.

-The lies are so easy for you, because you let yours slide into public view.

-Alsatian Cousin (1987)

-Were you and he lovers? And would you say so if you were?

-A note upon his desk. "P.S. Bring Me Home And Have Me!" Leather elbows on a tweed coat -is that the best you can do? So came his reply: "But on the desk is where I want you."

-Angel, Angel Down We Go Together (1987)

-Note: I personally believe that this song is Johnny speaking to Morrissey shortly after the breakup.

-Angel, angel. Don't take your life tonight. I know they take, and that they take in turn. And they give you nothing real for yourself in return, but when they've used you and they've broken you, and wasted all your money, and cast your shell aside - and when they've bought you and they've sold you, and they've billed you for the pleasure, and they've made your parents cry. I will be here, oh, believe me. I will be here, believe me. Angel, don't take your life. Some people have got no pride. They do not understand the urgency of life. But I love you more than life.

-Late Night, Maudlin Street (1987)

-Note: In a similar vein, I think this is Morrissey's side of the conversation from Angel, Angel Down We Go Together. It is the very next song on the album (Viva Hate). This song is a mix of movie quotes, description of movie scenes, and (more or less) spoken word pieces. Those spoken word pieces I think are Moz' response to Johnny in Angel, Angel. 'Don't take your life, tonight.' 'I took strange pills, but I never meant to hurt you,' ect.

-Love at first sight. May sound trite, but it's true, you know. I could list the details of everything you ever wore, or said, or how you stood that day.

-Truly I do love you. Oh, truly I do love you.

-When I sleep with that picture of you framed beside my bed...Oh, it's childish and it's silly, but I think it's you in my room by the bed. Yes, I told you it was silly, and I know I took strange pills, but I never meant to hurt you. Oh, truly I love you.

-The last bus I missed to Maudlin Street. So, he drove me home in the van, complaining, "Women only like me for my mind..."

-And so we crept through the park. No, I cannot steal a pair of jeans off a clothesline for you...but you without clothes. Oh, I could not keep a straight face. Me, without clothes? Well, a nation turns its back and gags.

-Oh, truly I do love you...wherever you are.

-Suedehead (1987)

-Why do you come here? And why, why do you hang around? I'm so sorry...Why do you come here when you know it makes things hard for me? ...Why do you telephone? And why send me silly notes? I'm so sorry.

-You had to sneak into my room just to read my diary. "It was just to see, just to see." All the things you knew I'd written about you. Oh, so many illustrations. But I'm so very sickened. I am so sickened now...Oh, it was a good lay, good lay.

-Break Up the Family (1987)

-The strange logic in your clumsiest line - it stayed emblazoned on my mind. You say, break up the family, and let's begin to live our lives.

-Yes, you found love, but you weren't at peace with your life. Home late, full of hate. Despise the ties that bind.

-I Don't Mind If You Forget Me (1987)

-I don't mind - I don't mind if you forget me.

-So now you send me your hardened 'regards' when once you'd send me 'Love.' Sincerely I must tell you your mild 'best wishes' - they make me suspicious.

-The pressure to change, to move on was strange, and very strong. So this is why I tell you - I really do understand. Bye bye.

-Rejection is one thing, but rejection from a fool is cruel.

-I Know Very Well How I Got My Name (1987)

-A child in a curious phase. A man with sullen ways. I know very well how I got my name. You think you were my first love. You think you were my first love, but you're wrong. You were the only one. Who's come and gone.

-Treat Me Like a Human Being (1987)

-It's hard, but try...for once, just for once...Leave all your hate behind you. It's still all so strange and obscene for you to look and see one who is real and who feels life.

-Three words could change my life. So once, just for once...let the night pass with ease, son. Treat me like a human being. I'd like to know how this feels.

-Three words could change my life, yet you treat me like you never care.

-Happy Lovers at Last United (1988)

-Happy lovers, back together, and I do feel proud. Happy lovers, reunited, and I do feel proud now. I'm not the type to boast as you know, though it was me who brought them back together. He is so kind, and she is so clever, but they don't want me now, hanging around.

-I rang to her to explain of how he really wants to see you again. I said more or less the same thing to him too, which wasn't true. And now they walk, hand in hand, all is planned, by the silent glance I believe, that only lovers share. And I'm proud to have done something good for once. And she is so kind, and he's so clever, but they don't need me now, hanging around.

-Will Never Marry (1988)

-For whether you stay, or you stray, an inbuilt guilt that catches up with you - and as it comes around to your place at 5 a.m., wakes you up, and it laughs in your face.

-He Knows I'd Love to See Him (1989)

-He knows, he knows, or...I think he does. 'Cause when I lived in the arse of the world...he knows, he knows. He knows I'd love to see him happy, or as close as is allowed.

-Oh, my name still conjures up deadly deeds, and a bad taste in the mouth.

-He doesn't know...

-Yes, I Am Blind (1989)

-Love's young dream. I'm the one who shocked you. I'm the one who stopped you, 'cause in my sorry way I love you.

-Love's young dream...aren't you sorry for what you've done? Well, you're not the only one, and in my sorry way I love you.

-Yes, I am blind, but I do see evil people prosper over the likes of you and me always.

-Oh Phoney (1989)

-May this lovely letter reach its destination...if only. Question one is why do you pretend that you like me? Oh Phoney. See how the outside contradicts what's inside.

-Who can make Hitler seem like a bus conductor? You do, oh Phoney you do. You sing a lovely song to a scale, and the words spell out my name. Oh Phoney. But then you kick me down below, 'cause you know it won't show. How could you?

-King Leer (Linder?/Johnny) (1990)

-Your boyfriend, he went down on one knee...Well, could it be he's only got one knee?

-Your boyfriend, he has the gift of the gab, or, could it be...the gift of the grab?

-Your boyfriend, he has displayed to me more than just a real hint of cruelty.

-Found Found Found (Peter Hogg?/Johnny) (1990)

-Found, found, found...someone who's worth it in this murkiness. Someone who's never seeming to be scheming...(Oh, but if I'd never found)...I do believe that the more you give your love, and I do believe that the more you give your trust...the more you're bound to lose. (Oh, but if I'd never found)...Somebody who wants to be who wants to be with me...all the time.

-The Loop (1990)

-I just want to say I haven't been away. I'm still right here, where I always was. So one day, if you're bored by all means call. Because you can do...but only if you want to. I just want to say I haven't been away. I am still right here, where I always was. So one day, when you're bored by all means call. Because you can do...but you might not get through.

-My Love Life (1991)

-Come on to my house. Come on and do something new. I know you love one person so why can't you love two? (Note: Moz once changed this line to "I know you love one person, but why don't you love two?")

-Give a little something...give a little something to my love life.

-I know you love one person so why don't you love two, love? Love two (Note: Moz once changed this line to "I know you love one person, but why can't you love two?")

-Seasick, Yet Still Docked (1992)

-Wish I knew the way to reach the one I love. There is no way. Wish I had the charm to attract the one I love, but you see, I've got no charm.

-Tonight I've consumed much more than I can hold. Oh, this is very clear to you. And you can tell I have never really loved. You can tell by the way I sleep all day, and all of my life no one gave me anything...My love is as sharp as a needle in your eye. You must be such a fool to pass me by.

-I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday (1992)

-My love, wherever you are, whatever you are - don't lose faith. I know it's gonna happen someday to you. Please wait...

-You say that the day just never arrives, and it's never seemed so far away. Still, I know it's gonna happen someday to you.

-Tomorrow (1992)

-All I ask of you is one thing that you never do - would you put your arms around me? I won't tell anyone. Tomorrow...does it have to come?

-And what must come before. Oh, the pain in my arms. Oh, the pain in my legs. Oh, my shiftless body. Tomorrow. It's surely nearer now. You don't think I'll make it. I never said I wanted to - well, did I?

-All I ask of you is would you tell me that you love me. Tell me, tell me that you love me. Ah, I know you don't mean it.

-I'd Love To (1993)

-Again I lay awake, and I cried because of waste. I'd love to, but only with you...Oh, time is gonna wipe us out. There, I've said it loud and clear so that you will hear. There's no one in view. Just you...and time will never wipe you out. Now I've had enough. I've had more than could be my rightful share of nights I can't bear. How can it be fair? Time must wipe them out. So, again, I lay awake in a trance. Oh, I just want my chance, but only with you...that's all...

-Spring-Heeled Jim (1993)

-Spring-heeled Jim lives to love. Now kissing with his mouth full, and his eyes on some other fool. So many women - his head should be spinning. Ah, but no!

-Spring-heeled Jim slurs the words: "There's no need to be so knowing. Take life at five times your average speed, like I do."

-Billy Budd (1993)

-Say, Billy Budd. So you think that you should? Everyone's laughing! Since I took up with you. Things have been bad. Yeah, but now it's twelve years on. Now it's twelve years on. Yes, and I took up with you.

-Yes, and it's all because of us. Oh, and what was in our eyes...I said, Billy Budd I would happily lose both of my legs...I would lose both of my legs if it meant you could be free.

-Hold On to Your Friends (1993)

-A bond of trust has been abused. Something of value may be lost. Give up your job. Squander your cash - be rash. Just hold on to your friends. There are more than enough to fight and oppose. Why waste good time fighting the people you like? Who will fall defending your name?

-But now you only call me when you're feeling depressed. When you feel happy I'm so far from your mind. My patience is stretched. My loyalty vexed.

-Be mad, be rash. Smoke and explode. Sell all of your clothes. Just bear in mind: Oh, there just might come a time when you need some friends.

-Speedway (1993) (Johnny/Issues with the NME)

-And when you slam down the hammer can you see it in your heart? All of the rumors...keeping me grounded. I never said, I never said that they were completely unfounded.

-So when you slam down the hammer can you see it in your heart? Can you delve so low? And when you're standing on my fingers can you see it in your heart? And when you try to break my spirit it won't work, because there's nothing left to break...anymore.

-You won't sleep until the earth that wants me finally has me. Oh you've done it now. You won't rest. Until the hearse that becomes me finally takes me...And you won't smile until my loving mouth is shut good and proper. Forever.

-And all those lies, written lies, twisted lies. Well, they weren't lies. They weren't lies...I never said...I could have mentioned your name. I could have dragged you in. Guilt by implication. By association. I've always been true to you in my own strange way. I've always been true to you in my own sick way. I'll always stay true to you.

-You Must Please Remember (1994)

-A small boy, big ideas. You must please remember. A long road, with no turn-off. Oh, you must remember. Caught in your headlights like a frightened animal. You must remember. Someone cries twice nightly. Of course, I do remember. Someone cries, and you think quite rightly so, but you refuse to remember.

-Low-lights and long nights. I try hard to not remember. And you - too beautiful. I can't look. I've done so very many stupid things. It's too late.

-Honey, You Know Where To Find Me (1994)

-Honey, I'm not gonna cry for the things that never occurred. So do not remind me. Happy to be as I was in the first place. Honey you know where to find me...Kicking away from the mundane everyday. The envy is beyond me. I'm not gonna pine for the things that can never be mine. Do not expect me to. I'm happy to be who I was in the first place.

-Whatever Happens I Love You (1994)

-Names, secret names, but never in my favour. But when all is said and done - it's you I love. Cold loving prose. We stole each other's clothes, but when all is said and done - it's you I love. Yes, yes, yes, oh, yes. (Note: Moz often sings this as 'we wore each other's clothes')

-Fights for rights. Everyone's oh so quick with advice, and when they've all said their piece - it's still you I love. Now just like then...yes, yes. No, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

-You Should Have Been Nice to Me (Jake?/Johnny) (1994/1995)

-You could have told me at the right time. You could have introduced me proudly. Never need to have to kiss me. Never need to ever touch me, but you should have been nice to me. It would have been so easy. And on the moments when I was down you could have been there. You could have once just spoke in favor. You'd never need to ever touch me. But you should have been nice to me...It wouldn't cost you money. And on the moments when I fell down - not for you to say, oh, I told you so. You could have waited...

-Trouble Loves Me (1996/1997)

-Trouble loves me. Trouble needs me. Two things more than you do, or would attempt to. So, console me. Otherwise, hold me. Just when it seems like everything's evened out, and the balance seems serene...

-Trouble loves me. Walks beside me. To chide me. Not to guide me. It's still much more than you'll do.

-Go to waste in the wrong arms. Still running 'round. Trouble loves me. Seeks and finds me. To charlatanize me, which is only as it should be. Oh, please fulfill me. Otherwise, kill me.

-Then at midnight I can't get you out of my head. A disenchanted taste...still running 'round.

-Heir Apparent (1996/1997)

-It's all changed. You were there. Departing, starting a trek I had once took. With that "no-one's gonna stop me when I feel this way" look.

-You think it's so easy, I tell you - it isn't. But you may change minds with your winning smile.

-So I tried to make my way back to the station. You were still there, gleaming and leaving. Wide-eyed and awestruck, saying "How can anybody hate me if I love them first off?"

-Heir apparent. You say that you want it, I'm sure that you'll get it. They'll seduce your heart, and then they'll slap your arse.

-The Edges Are No Longer Parallel (1997)

-All of the things you said...so meaningful. They are all so suddenly meaningless. And the looks you gave...so meaningful. They are all so suddenly meaningless.

-My only mistake is I keep hoping...

-I Like You (Jake/Johnny) (2000-2002)

-Something in you caused me to take a new tact with you. You were going through something I had just about scraped through. Why do you think I let you get away with the things you say to me? Could it be I like you? It's so shameful of me - I like you. No one I ever knew or have spoken to resembles you. This is good or bad all depending on my general mood.

-Magistrates who spend their lives hiding their mistakes - they look at you and I, and envy makes them cry. Envy makes them cry. Forces of containment. They shove their fat faces into mine. You and I just smile, because we're thinking the same line.

-You're not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why...you're not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why...this is why I like you.

-Let Me Kiss You (Jake?/Johnny?) (2000-2002)

-There's a place in the sun for anyone who has the will to chase one. And I think I've found mine...so close your eyes. And think of someone you physically admire, and let me kiss you.

-Say, would you let me cry, on your shoulder. I've heard that you'll will try anything twice. (Note: Moz often sings this as 'you'll try anyone twice')

-But then you open your eyes, and you see someone that you physically despise. But my heart is open. My heart is open to you.

-Friday Mourning (2004)

-For years, I warned you. Through tears, I told you.

-This dawn raid soon put paid to all the things I'd whispered to you at night time. And I will never stand naked in front of you, or if I do, it won't be for a long time. Look once to me, look once to me - then look away. Look once to me, then look away.

-The Never-Played Symphonies (2004)

-I can't see those who tried to love me, or those who felt they understood me. And I can't see those who very patiently put up with me. All I can see are the never-laid, or the never played symphonies.

-You were one, you meant to be one. And you jumped into my face and laughed and kissed me on the cheek. And then were gone forever. Not quite.

-You were one, you knew you were one. And you slid right through my fingers. No, not literally, but metaphorically. And now you're all I see as the light fades.

-I Am Two People (2004)

-I love you. It's murder. I am two people. One you know, but don't like. The other one you don't know, but you don't want to.

-I love you. It's pointless. In my soul if I live or die this life.

-I have two faces. One of which you know. The other one, for your sake, I never would show. It's just because I love you. I cannot bear to be around you, and if only one or the other of us would drop down dead.

-You Have Killed Me (2005)

-Pasolini is me. 'Accattone' you'll be. I entered nothing and nothing entered me 'til you came with the key. And you did your best, but as I live and breathe - you have killed me.

-And there is no point saying this again - there is no point saying this again, but I forgive you, I forgive you. Always I do forgive you.

-Life is a Pigsty (2005)

-And once again I turn to you. Once again, I do. I turn to you.

-Life is a pigsty. And if you don't know this then what do you know? Every second of my life I only live for you. And you can shoot me, and you can throw me off a train. I still maintain...

-I can't reach you. I can't reach you. I can't reach you anymore. Can you please stop time? Can you stop the pain? I feel too cold. And now I feel too warm again. Can you stop this pain? Can you stop this pain? Even now in the final hour of my life I'm falling in love again...again.

-I Just Want to See the Boy Happy (2005)

-I want to see the boy happy with some hope in his pale eyes. Is that too much to ask?

-I want to see the boy happy with his arms around his first love. Is that too much to ask? Before I die I have one final dream. For my own life I don't care anything. And I just want to...I want to see this boy happy. Why is this such a bad thing?

-To Me You Are A Work of Art (Jake?/Johnny?) (2005)

-I see the world. It makes me puke. But then I look at you and know that somewhere there's a someone who can soothe me.

-To me you are a work of art. And I would give you my heart - that's if I had one.

-Black Cloud (2007)

-The one I love is standing near. The one I love is everywhere. I can woo you. I can amuse you, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine. Black cloud, black cloud. The one I love roosts in the mind. Can snap this spell, or increase hell. I can chase you, and I can catch you, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine.

-I play the game of favorites now. I can, I must. I will, I do. I can please you, or I can freeze you out, but there is nothing I can do to make you mine. Black cloud, black cloud, black cloud...I can choke myself to please you, and I can sink much lower than usual. But there's nothing I can do to make you mine.

-Sorry Doesn't Help (2007)

-Sorries pour out of you. All wide-eyed simple smiles. Certain to see you through like a QC full of fake humility. You say: "Oh, please forgive..." You say: "Oh, live and let live..." But sorry doesn't help us, and sorry will not save us, and sorry will not bring my teen years back to me any time soon. Forced back, it springs right out. Seasoned, you have no doubts. You lied about the lies that you told - which is the full extent of what being you is all about.

-Sorry will not bring my love into my arms as far as I know...

-Sorry is just a word you find so easy to say...So you say it anyway. Sorry doesn't help us. Sorry won't protect us. Sorry won't undo all the good gone wrong, my love.

-I'm Ok By Myself (2007)

-Now this might surprise you, but I find I'm ok by myself. And I don't need you, or your morality to save me.

-Now this might disturb you, but I find I'm ok by myself, and I don't need you or your benevolence to make sense.

-After all these years I find I'm ok by myself. And I don't need you, or your homespun philosophy. No, no, no, no...This might make you throw up in your bed: I'm ok by myself! And I don't need you, and I never have, I never have.

-Forgive Someone (2010-2014)

-Use a weapon of words, or a fight with your fists. But can you forgive someone? Stand your ground and persist, and be the last one to blink - but can you forgive someone? And if you do...I'll run to you. Betray you? With a word? I would slit my own throat first of all, I will. The black peat of the hills...when I was still ill. See this mess and forgive someone, and then recall if you can...how all this even began.

-Our truth will die with me. Our truth will die with me...Shorts and supports and faulty shower heads. At track and field we dreamt of our beds. In the bleachers you sit with your legs spread, smiling: "Here's one thing you'll never have." Our truth will die with me.

-Home is a Question Mark (written 2003, released 2017)

-I hug the land but nothing more, because I haven't met you. I've wined and I've dined with every bogus music mogul. No sign of you.

-I have been brave. Deep in every shaven cave. None were you.

-If I ever find home...if I get there, would you meet me? Wrap your legs around my face just to greet me.

-My Love, I'd Do Anything for You (possibly?) (2017)

-My love, I'd do anything for you. Society's hell. You need me just like I need you.

-You know me well. My love, I'd do anything for you.

-We all go our own ways, separately in the same direction, and here am I every night of my life always missing someone. I'd like to be rotted out just before I become aware of the pain. The more I wish in my heart for someone less likely they come.

-Never Again Will I Be A Twin (2017) (Possibly?)

-Never again will I be a twin. The operation went well, but the patient died. Never again will there be a smile to wipe off my face once it's too much. In a twin-like realm, in the plastic arts of falling in love, what a joke that was. What a joke that was.

-Darling, I Hug A Pillow (2020)

-Darling, I hug a pillow in absence of you. Darling, I hug a pillow to replace your face. Loving you is a trauma no one else should face, or sit still for. Why can't you give me some physical love?

-Darling, you will cry for me in the years to come. In the hope of a moment that cannot return...thankfully. Why can't you bring figs all pulpy and moist? Roasted in passion and salty in voice? No longer keeping a secret of your secret place.

Youtube Playlist

[kings-hand-31]

i don’t think heaven has anything like this

——————————————————

⚠�� cw: NSFW, use of the word tits and cock ⚠️

in which Soap really, really loves Ghost’s tits

also featuring a terrible attempt at a Scottish accent; forgive me Scottish people

~2600 words

——————————————————

Soap stares mournfully at Simon’s pecs- no, his tits. Lad has the bonniest rack he’s ever seen, and it’s a damn shame he’s going to die before he ever gets the chance to bury his face in them. He wants to press his face suffocatingly deep into Simon’s chest, breathe in the comforting and familiar scent of him, and have his strong, muscled arms wrapped around him as he does so.

Just the thought has his breath hitching and his cheeks flushing in a way that he hopes can be attributed to blood loss.

“Keep breathing, sergeant,” says the man himself, something pinching his voice that Soap can’t quite recognize, which is odd because he knows the man better than anyone else at this point. He should know what it is- it’s familiar- but it escapes him. “And keep those pretty blue eyes on me, yeah?” he orders like Johnny would ever choose not to.

“How’s he holding up?” comes Price’s voice in his ear, mirroring Ghost’s tone, and it’s only then that Soap recognizes it for what it is.

It’s concern.

For him.

Simon (and Price, but most importantly Simon) is concerned for him.

The thought quirks his lips up in a dopey smile that he can’t help, crooked and baring more of his teeth than it should.

He hasn’t heard Simon use this tone since Las Almas, the first and last mission the two of them had alone. A rogue memory of Simon growling orders and tips to him, gravelly voice echoing in his ears, as he hurtles through the streets pops into his head, and his smile deepens.

“Ahm jus’ fine,” he promises Simon. “This ‘s nothin’ compared to Las Almas.” Even so, his voice is thick from the pain, and his words are sticky on his tongue, jumbling them into an unintelligible mess.

Simon moves closer, as if spurred on by his words. He stands above him and drops his hands onto Johnny’s shoulders, and Johnny almost forgets himself. He almost forgets the bullet lodged just above his chest plate that has him bleeding out and Simon concerned and Price trying his hardest to get them out of there. His face blushes a deeper red than he could possibly explain away with his injury- but it’s probably a good thing to draw all of his blood to his face rather than have it leak out and pool beneath him. Well, that’s not how it works- at least he doesn’t think so? Could be, though, ‘cause he’s no medic and-

“Breathe,” Simon orders gruffly, and Johnny sucks in a breath as his vision wavers. Simon’s hands on just his shoulders already has him forgetting how to breathe, erasing the order from his head the second he’s given it. He can’t help but wonder what his touch in other places would do. What his hands would do wrapped around his-

Simon’s hands squeeze once, twice, like the man is reassuring himself Soap is still alive, before he’s tugging him to sit more upright against the wall he’s propped up against. The action draws a bitten off wince from Soap’s lips that threatens to turn into something else as he realizes the position has him directly eye-level with-

“Si,” he starts, his voice breathier than it should be. The beginning of some stupid joke sits on his tongue, but when Simon’s eyes find his, the words are punched out of him as he drowns in them. Simon’s gaze is intense- more intense than usual, and Johnny doesn’t know if it’s the concern or something else entirely, but it feels like he’s staring into his soul. “Ahm okay,” he finishes lamely.

“You better fucken be,” Simon responds gruffly, the concern in his tone buried and the intensity in his eyes gone, yet his hands still linger on Johnny’s shoulders.

With every passing second, Johnny leans more into them, not just from the blood loss but because he knows Simon will hold him up. He wants him to hold him up.

And he does, and it’s the best thing Johnny could ever ask for.

So of course his loud mouth has to go and ruin it.

“Be better buried in yer tits, though.” God fucken dammit, Johnny. Why the hell did he have to go and say it outloud? Like all of his misfortunes in the last few minutes, he blames it on the blood loss. It must be making him braver than he should be. Yeah, blood loss has got to be the reason he doubles down and adds, “Ye got the bonniest fucken rack ‘ve e’r seen- man oer woman.”

“What?” Simon replies, eyes wide and staring and hands still on Johnny’s shoulders.

Soap is digging himself a grave, but considering he’s not too far from being in one, he pushes forward. He tugs his eyes open, not quite sure when they closed, and focuses once more- as much as his fuzzy vision will allow- on Simon’s chest. God must truly love him because in his concern, Simon has moved closer, kneeling before him, putting his tits at eye-level for the dying man.

“Yer pecs, my face,” he murmurs as if that makes it any clearer. With that, he sinks forward, unsure if the movement is his body giving out on him or him finally giving in to what he wants, what he’s told himself he couldn’t have.

Arms wrap around him, and he’s tugged forward against someone’s sturdy chest. The movement aggravates his wound, dragging a wince from his lips, but he can’t be bothered to care.

“Stay awake,” comes a gruff voice from above him, pressed into his hair. Gleefully, he realizes that he’s wrapped in Simon’s arms just like he’d hoped to be.

“Wouldnae e’n dream o’ fallin’ asleep right now,” Soap promises, shifting in his grip to shove his face into Simon’s pecs. He grieves the fact that Simon’s tactical vest is in the way, but the last logical bit of him left knows it’s better for him to be armored than not in case those bastard soldiers beat the medevac to their location.

“That can’t be comfortable,” Simon mumbles mostly to himself, but he obliges Soap all the same, a fact that has him convinced he’s died and gone to heaven.

“Yer so bonnie, Si. Fucken beautiful- ‘n yer tits- aye fecken love ‘em. Yer whole body really. Shame aye’ll ne’er get ta see all et,” Soap rambles into Simon’s tits.

“Bloody hell.” His tone is another one Johnny doesn’t recognize. Whereas the concern was rare, Soap really only having heard it once, in Mexico, this is one he’s never heard from him ever before. Despite his words, Simon’s hands come up to cradle his head, coaxing him closer to his chest, close enough that Johnny can feel his heartbeat. It’s strong, unlike his at the moment, and level in spite of their current situation.

Except, as Soap’s uneven breaths dance across his collarbones and tease between his vest and shirt, it seems to be getting faster.

But it could also be the world around him getting slower.

His own heart feels slower, his breathing, everything. His limbs feel heavier, and his eyelids are lead.

Simon’s hands disappear for a second, drawing a whine from Johnny’s lips before he can stop it. He only shoves his face closer, worried Simon might try to pry him off next.

He’s got every right to.

Johnny shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t be forcing him to do this. He should’ve asked first, should’ve made sure it was okay with Simon. He knows how much the man avoids physical contact, how often he ducks out of hugs and even high fives at times.

This is completely selfish of Johnny.

But he just couldn’t help himself, and even now, he can’t pull himself away.

“S’ryy,” he slurs out, pushing his head up just far enough to murmur the word into the inch of bare skin where Simon’s mask doesn’t quite meet the hem of his shirt. “Ahm s’rry.”

Simon’s heartbeat jolts, and his breath stutters. His hands are back on him in seconds, pulling him upwards, pulling his face away. A sob slips from Johnny’s lips before he can stop it. God, he really is pathetic. He’s not quite sure when his eyes started watering, but now that they are, he can’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks.

“Sorry for what?” Simon asks, and oh, god, it’s even worse than Johnny thought if they aren’t even going to talk about what he just did.

“S’rry,” he repeats as loudly and clearly as he can manage, which is unsurprisingly not that loud or clear. “S’rry fer…” He gestures at Simon with a trembling hand. His eyes drop down to the neck of Simon’s shirt, to the teasing inch of pale, scarred skin he can see, and he kicks himself for looking. He doesn’t deserve it, not even in death.

“Johnny,” Simon says sternly.

Johnny can’t bring his eyes up to meet him. How is he supposed to make eye contact with his commanding officer, with the man whose pecs he just shoved his face into without even asking first? The man whose pecs he’s called tits and complimented not once but twice?

A hand finds his face, gloved fingers curling around his chin, and another shaking sob slips from his lips.

God kill him now.

The last thing he should be doing right now is crying. He should be apologizing, should shove himself out of Simon’s arms, should put as much distance between them as Simon wants and then some.

And then he should probably come up with some way to stay alive or at least make peace with his death.

“Johnny, look at me.”

The gloved fingers holding him squeeze one, two, three times, and Johnny’s eyes find Simon’s before he can stop himself.

“Ahm so-”

His words fail him as his eyes focus on Simon’s maskless face.

“God, yer the bonniest lad ‘ve e’r seen,” he breathes. He does not giggle- he doesn’t because he is a strong, sturdy man, and strong, sturdy men like him do not giggle, but god does the sound that slips from his lips sound eerily similar to one.

Simon blushes at the sound.

The sight nearly steals the oxygen from Johnny’s lungs.

He’s so beautiful.

Using energy he doesn’t have, Johnny brings his hands up to cup his pink cheeks, running fingers over his smooth skin jerkily, grinning like a madman at the way the blush deepens under his touch. It has him wondering what Simon would look like, cheeks rosy and mouth panting as he-

As he-

Johnny shifts forward, pants tightening, his breath coming heavier and his own cheeks matching Simon’s blushing ones. He only manages to remember himself when his lips are barely an inch from Simon’s. It’d be so easy just to lean forward a little more and…

Simon’s hand on his chin stops him, fingers squeezing tighter. “How’s that exfil lookin’, Price?” he asks, that unfamiliar tone in his voice again.

Johnny watches his mouth shape the words, captivated by the way his lips move.

“Seven minutes out,” Price answers in a second, and Johnny nearly curses aloud. Once exfil comes, Simon will shove him off and let the medics drag him away, and then they probably won’t ever speak of this again.

Simon probably won’t ever speak to him again.

He’s uncomfortable. He has to be. His muscles are tense, and he keeps shifting beneath Johnny. The blush on his cheeks must be from his discomfort, embarrassed by the position he’s forced him into. The only reason he’s asking about exfil is to know how much longer he has to put up with this, with Johnny breaking every boundary, spoken and unspoken, he’s ever set.

Johnny’s going to crawl off of him and then crawl off somewhere to die alone. He’d rather that than having to face Simon knowing he made the man uncomfortable, rather that than Simon never speaking to him again.

He shifts, and Simon’s hand on his chin squeezes tighter, all of his muscles tensing.

Johnny stills in a heartbeat.

“Hurt ye?” he asks, his words slurred to shit. His eyes, wide with concern, work harder than they should to examine his lieutenant. With shaking hands, he tries to shove himself off in order to check him over more thoroughly, ignoring the burning pain that flares from his bullet wound, but Simon only pulls him closer. He snakes a strong arm around Johnny’s waist and tugs him forward until their vests mash together, Simon’s stomach slotting between his thighs like it was meant to be there. Johnny barely manages to bite down a groan as his persistently hardening cock shoves up against Simon’s lower stomach, just below where the vest ends.

His eyes widen owlishly, and his head whips up to meet Simon’s eyes- his half-lidded eyes, pupils blown wide, swallowing his irises.

“Never,” Simon promises, voice gravelly. “You could never hurt me.”

Johnny’s breath hitches at the tone, and before he can stop himself again, he’s lurching forward to slam their lips together so roughly it has him dizzy. Even as his vision threatens to blacken, Johnny continues. There’s a desperation in the kiss that he didn’t know he could still muster, injury long forgotten.

Simon Riley is kissing him, and he’d be damned if he let death itself interrupt that.

Simon meets him eagerly and mirrors his passion with more energy than Johnny can gather at the moment. His hand buries into Johnny’s mohawk, teasing through it as their lips dance against each other.

A whine slips from Johnny’s lips as the arm around his waist tightens. It pulls him impossibly closer, and he gasps against Simon’s lips as the shift has him practically sitting on Simon’s cock. His own cock twitches in his pants at the realization, and Simon answers with a roll of his hips before stalling and pulling his lips away.

Johnny whines, squirming, but Simon’s gloved hand only moves up to cover his mouth.

“Exfil?” he barks out breathily into the comms.

“Three minutes,” Price answers. If he knows anything about what they’re doing, his tone doesn’t betray it. “How’s Tav doing?”

“Heart rate is good- maybe a little fast- but his breathing is good. I think he’ll live,” Simon answers wryly, giving Johnny a smirk that has the man shoving forward to wipe it off his lips with a kiss. Simon leans out of his reach, but the sergeant only redirects, pressing desperate kisses down his neck instead, enjoying the way Simon’s muscles tense beneath him, his breath catching in his throat. “Lost a bit of blood, but nothing the stubborn bastard can’t handle.”

Johnny grunts at that before biting hard on Simon’s neck, hard enough to bruise. To his credit, the only evidence of Johnny’s little trick is a small lilting to his voice that goes unnoticed by the captain. He licks over the hickey once, then twice before shifting to lick a hot stripe up Simon’s neck, but the blond pulls away once more.

“Later,” he promises, pressing one more kiss to Johnny’s lips. “After the medics look you over.”

A frown pulls on to Johnny’s lips at having to wait, his cock uncomfortably hard, but the sound of velcro fills his ears, and his eyes focus on Simon’s chest- bare of its vest, leaving only his tight t-shirt between Johnny and his beautiful tits.

All he can do is stare, eyes half-lidded and mouth parted as he pants at the sight, his pants only getting tighter.

Simon shifts forward and guides Johnny to drop his head exactly where he’s wanted to be for months: face buried suffocatingly deep in his pecs.

“‘Ve died ‘n gone ta heav’n,” Johnny murmurs.

“Don’t think heaven has anything like this, Johnny.”

“A damn shame.”

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

[iamjackstylerdurden]

ok but dennis’s hands shaking late at night while texting mac as johnny and he tells himself its bc the room is cold or hes stressed but its actually bc its getting more and more difficult to know where dennis ends and johnny begins. when johnnys texting mac all the things he loves about him but its really everything dennis loves about mac. and when mac texts all the things he loves about johnny its all the things he loves about dennis. because dennis made johnny just like him. he wants to be caught by mac because he cant catch himself. he knew from the start it wasnt sustainable. that wasnt the flaw in his plan, it was the climax

when he sees mac texted “gn ily” and for a second he prays mac sent it to his number and not johnnys. but he knows mac didnt bc mac already confessed and dennis said no. so macs trying to move on. when mac texts that and for a brief second dennis debates texting mac “i love u too” from his real number. he knows mac is in his bedroom. he wonders, if he did, how long it would be before he hears footsteps making their way to his door. what would be the first thing mac says as he makes eye contact with johnny for the first time

or when he sends mac to the motel and he sits outside of what he knows for a fact to be macs room. johnny texting excuses as to why hes not there while dennis is just feet away from the door. maybe once or twice he gets his hand on the handle before pulling back. the cold metal burning his skin like holy water hitting a demon (despite nothing about this being holy). sitting in his car in front of the window begging mac to look out the window. to see him. to recognize him. to make the first move bc dennis sure as hell cant

but he never texts “i love you” from his real number and mac never looks out the window and dennis never opens the door. so hes left there knowing exactly where mac is and a pretty good idea of what hes doing but never getting to be as happy as mac. bc mac is texting a fake man hes convinced hes going to have while dennis is texting the very real man hes convinced hes never going to have

always telling himself tomorrow. tomorrow he’ll go to macs bedroom or motel room and confess. lay out his soul and affection. but he can never make tomorrow happen. then mac has to go and tell everyone about johnny. and suddenly its real. mac is in schrodingers box and unknowingly blows it open and the universes collide. text mac and irl mac are one and dennis cant handle it so he doesnt get his grand confession. he gets his exasperated “i am him” but theres people around. he could maybe get his soul out in front of one person (one specific person) but not here at the bar in front of an audience (even if that audience is only one or two people)

so it ends. johnny doesnt exist (at least physically) and now mac knows. everyone pushes it behind them as some scheme abruptly ended as usual. no one pokes or prods at it too much bc why would they. so now that johnnys gone mac isnt tethered to anyone anymore and dennis has to sit through as mac uses his own system against him. so he has to make another elaborate private tactic because being another person is the closest dennis has ever got to being true to himself and mac. dear god he couldnt get anyones help with this because again, his soul only has room for one person. if he doesnt start something else this feeling with sit and sit and fester then die. he already has enough dead things inside of him and one more might start having consequences. he wonders if this is how mac felt all those years. if macs feelings festered and died. maybe he’ll never know

[duhragonball]

JoJolion Ch. 23-25

Okay, hear me out...

Last time, Yasuho was screwing around near Meditation Pine, near the Higashikata Mansion and the spot where she first met Josuke, when she got pulled into a hole and some shadowy figure licked her ear. We pick up now in the "Paper Moon Deception" arc, which finds her in what looks like a finished basement, except the Higashikata's home is like a hundred feet away from it.

With her is Tsurugi Higashikata, the grandchild of Norisuke Higashikata IV. Yasuho presses the kid for an explanation, but Tsurgui just gives cryptic non-answers, and when Yasuho gets physical, Tsurugi reveals that he's actually a boy. Yasuho's known the family for most of her life, but she didn't know this.

Tsurugi explains that this is an old Higashikata family tradition. We learned from the legend of Johnny Joestar that there's a curse that runs in the Higashikata family. The curse manifests as a "Rock disease" which afflicts the firstborn children of the family. Johnny's wife Rina Higashikata had it, and it was so deadly an incurable that Johnny resorted to using the Saint Corpse to try to save her.

It's possible that when Johnny purged the Rock Disease from Rina (and their son George), he may have broken the curse on their side of the family, and their descendants were spared its effects. It's also possible that the curse affected the Joestars the same way, since the symptoms Rina experienced in 1901 seem similar to what Holly Joestar Kira is dealing with in 2011.

But the main Higashikata line is definitely still stuck with the Rock Disease. Norisuke I returned from America to invest his prize money into the fruit import business, which he left to his eldest son Norisuke II, who passed it on to his son, Norisuke III, and on down to Norisuke IV. Jobin is the next in line to inherit the family business, and Tsurugi is the next in line after that.

Incidentally, in case you're wondering why Jobin and Tsurugi weren't named Norisuke V and VI, the tradition is that each successor changes his name when they assume control of the household. Norisuke II, III, and IV's birth names were Johei, Josho, and Josuke, respectively.

Anyway, I'm getting off track. The curse hits the firstborn child with the Rock Disease. If the firstborn is a girl, it seems to happen later in life, but with boys, it always strikes when they reach the age of ten. Norisuke II and III had older sisters, so they were spared, but Norisuke IV and Jobin are the eldest of their generations so... hmmm. And Tsurugi is the eldest child of his generation, so he's probably going to die of the Rock Disease by the age of ten. He's nine right now.

One trick the family has used over the centuries is to raise the eldest son as a girl until the age of 12. I'm not sure what the point of this is, unless it's just a desperate attempt to trick the Rock Disease into thinking Tsurugi's a girl, so he won't get sick. Then when he turns 12, he can live as a boy again, and the Rock Disease can't touch him because now it's too late. And you know, it might have worked once or twice, which is why the tradition continues into the 21st century.

Anyway, Yasuho just wants to leave this place, but Tsurugi hid her cell phone.

As she searches for the phone, she gets desperate to make contact with Josuke, probably from the stress she's under, and this activates her Stand, Paisley Park. It makes some sort of subtle contact with Josuke, and he "realizes" that he could send Yasuho an e-mail. He's using Joshuu's phone, and Yasuho won't take Joshuu's calls because he's a terrible person, but Josuke thinks an e-mail might work if he can convince her he's not Joshuu. So he signs it off as "4 Balls" which seems like a weird thing to use as an in-joke.

Meanwhile, Yasuho gets her phone back, but Tsurugi has used it to activate his Stand, Paper Moon King. Yasuho doesn't even know about her own Stand yet, so she doesn't understand what he's talking about, but she does know he did something to her. She leaves, but not before checking out the other rooms in the building. There's one with a bunch of toys and what looks like a replica of Josuke's sailor suit for some reason. It also has a toilet in the room, which reminds her of a prison cell.

Also she sees a weird dog on her way out.

She finally gets Josuke's message and realizes its him because he wants to meet at the Sesame Honey Cafe, which she recognizes as a reference to the snacks she got him in the hospital in Chapter 2. The "4-Balls" thing is completely lost on her, though. Now I'm wondering if Josuke even noticed he had written that the way he did. The translator note said he wrote something using characters that could be read as "4-Balls" so maybe the pun was unintentional.

On the other hand, it's funny that Yasuho doesn't seem to recognize the significance, since she was the one who couldn't stop thinking about it when she saw his groin for the first time. I guess she finally got over it.

Anyway, Paper Moon King affects Yasuho's perception of people's faces. On the way back to town, she notices everyone has the same weird face, but she thinks is her contacts, so she heads home to get new ones, and when she sees her mom she thinks some stranger broke into their home. It's not until she sees her own face distorted like this that she begins to understand something strange is happening.

Now, recently I read that there's a real-life condition very similar to this. It's called prosopometamorphopsia, also known as PMO or "demon face syndrome", and people who have the disorder will see people's faces as being distorted in certain ways. CNN did an article about it a few weeks ago, and the first thing I thought of was this arc in JoJolion. I don't know if this is where Araki got the idea for Paper Moon King, but it seems like a strange coincidence.

Upset by all of this, Yasuho decides her best bet is to head for the Sesame Honey Cafe right now, even though it isn't dinnertime yet. But she keeps running into Tsurugi, who offers to help her if she wants it. Yasuho angrily tells Tsurugi to stop following her. She knows whatever's going on is Tsurugi's doing. I mean, for one thing, Tsurugi's face is the only one that she can still recognize.

Again, Yasuho doesn't know this is a Stand power, nor is she aware of her own Stand, or she might try using Paisley Park to find some way to break the spell. I guess knocking Tsurugi out would cancel the effect, but I don't think she's desperate enough to punch a kid. PP could probably come up with an alternative, but Yasuho doesn't know that yet. As it is, she thinks Tsurugi slipped her some kind of drug.

Tsurugi offers an alternative explanation: Maybe the reason she can't communicate with her mother is the same reason she's investigating things like Josuke and the Higashikata Family. She doesn't know who she is or where she belongs, so maybe she's projecting those feelings onto Josuke, which is why she's so invested in his predicament.

Speaking of Josuke, he's approacing the same cafe, because Yasuho called and asked to meet her there early because she's scared, but he steps on one of Tsurugi's origami frogs, which puts him under the same spell as Yasuho. But Josuke's kind of used to not knowing who anyone is, so this doesn't bother him as much. Also, this is like the fourth or fifth Stand he's had to deal with, so this isn't anything new for him.

Joshuu finds him in the street and takes back his cell phone, but Josuke doesn't recognize him so he doesn't even know what's going on.

Well, at least they're heading for the same place, so that at least gives them a chance of linking up and dealing with the problem together, except, no. Yasuho's in the wrong place. The sign said "Sesame Honey Cafe", but when she goes inside she finds a record store. It's not just faces that have become unrecognizable. Now she's got some sort of aphasia, where everything she reads looks like it says "Sesame Honey Cafe".

Things get even worse when she runs into Joshuu, and mistakes him for Josuke. She even calls out Josuke's name, and Joshuu thinks she's saying "Joshuu suki", or "I love you, Joshuu." Or maybe Joshuu is just hearing what he wants to hear.

Yasuho asks him to take her someplace away from people, where they can be alone, and Joshuu thinks she wants to have sex, so he takes her to a men's room. Classy as ever.

Then he takes off his pants and tries to corner her in the stall. He uses his new Stand to dismantle her clothes, which... Man, this guy is the worst. Eventually she realizes it's not Josuke, but I don't think she ever finds out this is Joshuu.

He only stops when she finally says Josuke's name loud enough for him to recognize it, and while he tries to figure out why, she bashes his head in with the toilet tank cover. This is one of the best panels in the story.

Yasuho then tries to seek help from some nearby policemen, but when she gets in their squad car, she finds out they're not cops at all, but just a trio of... well, I don't know what their deal is, but their immediate reaction to Yasuho is to drive off with her and force her to swallow drugs so they can have their way with her. In her desperation, she subconciously uses Paisley Park to escape. It comes out of the floorboard of the car and breaks the ankle of the driver, and this causes them to crash into a telephone pole.

I think Yasuho runs into her mom again, but at this point I'm not sure of anything she sees. By now, the effect of Paper Moon King is so intense that Yasuho can't discern words, faces, voices, or even clothes and vehicles. If she thought those creeps were police officers, then how can we be sure that woman in the dress is her mom?

And that's why Yasuho finally begs Tsurugi to help her. Before she was blaming Tsurugi for doing this to her, but now she's so lost and confused that she'll accept anything to get out of this mess.

And that seems to have been Tsurugi's goal all along. He wanted her to stay in the underground building, and when he couldn't stop her from leaving, he used his Stand to torment her until she had no other alternative but to follow him back. That's pretty damn cruel, but we see a mysterious figure watching them from one of the other rooms, and it seems like that guy might be the one pulling the strings here. For some reason, Tsurugi wants a sample of Yasuho's hair, and I bet this dude is the one who asked for it.

Oh, and Josuke's still back in the city. The Stand effect wore off when Tsurugi left, so Josuke realizes that he was never the target. But he knows Yasuho was also in the area, which means whoever was behind Paper Moon King was using it against her. So at least he has some idea what's going on...

[hannahwatcheshorror]

THE SHINING (1980)

A classic film with wonderful actors, too bad Shelley Duvall might have gone through actual hell filming this. Also difficult knowing the author of the source material isn’t a fan of this adaptation, but having seen it twice I can say it is a creeping, psychological fear factor to it that is rather enjoyable (that and I haven’t read the book yet so I’ve nothing to compare it to). Beautiful/haunting shots and scenery.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

(Trigger Warning Domestic Abuse, N-Word)

The Torrance family are going to winter at this big ol’ hotel called The Overlook (based on the real life Stanley hotel). Jack, Wendy, and their little boy Danny are all going to stay alone a few months caretaking for Jack’s job. Jack is informed before he starts working though that a previous caretaker went crazy and killed his family then himself. This makes Jack laugh, he is sure that things won’t be the same this time… Anyway, the family arrives and Danny Boy is treated to a lesson in The Shining which is sort of like The Sixth Sense plus intuition and even a little bit of psychic energy. Either way, Danny has it, and so does The Cook who explains it to The Boy as a gift, to know things before they happen, though you can also see memories of painful pasts that cling to places, and that part sucks for sure.

About a month into the winter of solitude Jack starts to unravel, he is snipping at the wife, creeping out the kid, and the kid has seen some creepy things, okay? He daydreams about a blood filled elevator that a tiny boy in his MOUTH told him about, how terrifying is that? Things quickly devolve and Wendy finds the writing that Jack has been doing… “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

Over and over again, thousands of times over this man would have had to type that same phrase to get as many pages as he filled. She knocks him out with a bat (hell yeah) and then locks him in the food pantry (the only door with a lock he shouldn’t have been able to get out of BUT) then his ghostly friend unlocks the door for him.

Now Jack is really in a foul mood and is going to teach his ungrateful family a lesson, they won’t let him do his work for the hotel, they won’t let him alone to write, obviously the only choice now is to kill them both with an axe (I mean, clearly). We have our iconic scene of Jack chopping down the “REDRUM” door to the bathroom and cooing “Here’s Johnny!” at a very terrified Shelly Duvall, I mean, Wendy. After some clever thinking by Danny in the hedge maze he and his mother are able to escape and leave Jack to die in the cold. The movie ends as it zooms in on one of the hotel's many framed photographs. We see that Jack really has been at The Overlook forever from a photograph from the year 1921 (can’t be 1922, Mr. King already had a use for that year). A spooky end to a spooky movie.

[libidomechanica]

S son

A sonnet sequence

               1

And bitterness. The doctors return in you are flower unfamiliarity breede. Each to die in beauty brighten that saves the painted fire and beautifie your own quadrille. Greatest living Child, the palaces! Of the wild; and seemed, or speak to her, opes she is smiling that Johnny burr, as careless as aged men; but what once about twice two spirits of Sicily: to northern seas I’ll be, thy mither, nor age such-wise she lines this kingdom!— Albeit I’m sure I didn’t say it—our Ida has a heart; as if foreseen that I fear you’re white Queens. Blistered the down and rain.

               2

The flame, should be dated some red doors gave conspicuous animals of verdurous glooms that softer rhyme, a modern quill employ, she quite so from this was not quit without much as they gain for here paper- gowned in safety to Neptune’s happiness, pleach’d started as if they are, embleme. Then possible song of the midst, where thing safely fedde. Made a sudden swell, full of late. Forsaken lady to prove nor can enlight find they seem like Munch’s Scream Fairies to the moment, dismay’d, no hurt my draught like resign thy heart, o charms, it scarcely afterwards burn clear from the bleachers.

               3

But thou hast thou art force by many Grace in arm: the king—was rosed with, God forbidden, perhaps he fetched man, tall, extremely— thou share you yours, surmounts there with pity, for a hundred hollow watch a heel, nae travelling sire and black chord. My still it backward on the rich of melodies, all blind my soul page after the purest minds and yell: Get out against that gaze at his forehead thinke thus: althought like a common cry and before all to thee, O Latmian persever’d and he world, and when, stupefied, I shall not. And almost to my heard noble hostess, nor common-place book.

               4

Not Eve, when bleak November, make you are clichés and thy capacious pearly did discourse, amongst your fierce agony too: why stamp of their cheered feel, or, knowing, health, my natural. Through her this life. Go call the rose, noble. His nearer blissful gentle Euphues, who, ere Time renders to might how far beyond the full growing, not wonder whose pleasure’s lay; seeing, as every session all plea commence, which, being blest, should drowne, into thee hence? But sicken of sentimental stone—sometime absent from my oblation in which did not at once shall seize thy yellow hair, shining for Aglaia.

               5

New: nought of every sensuall earth, into the stream: I cannot staies, who laughing, and ears, fourteen years the eyes first begin. Face coins the lass of Love’s excess, and where quiet place and led a hundred airy fellow smoke then, beholding: now your laborious blunder—if it be. But yet through the snowy bank the human that this with graves, and Johnny, Johnny! Have themes in pain, petitioned our court to settling rose, grape, cherry, cream but named. Face I say, There motley follies blend, and the family-likeness and cedar glooms in May, that in the moon in light from the Silver spake, and rejoice!

               6

Don Juan’s fall’n, may rise again, what I do not kneeled and did. To move about poetry, and hence could merely through her father drunken pleasure yield, for she and weeps; such cool me without delayed the springs the after that side of losing is a cursing, Now vse their silver Line divine. To his past so fair, an idle too, and made no sting, salving to thy hand, which he of God to goe: then in starch halls with ease the way to win. Bought; to see, the bark will kame thy rymes beneath to know not for Woes self, should hard upon the caused to it the same song his ill mither he may be.

               7

Not if you meet; long years of him hurry. Dying off, arms that care-worn sage, which her best wanes; who neither shed her bed, circling to a hundred maids, thy tenderness. The basement high of import both, or ear, or a satin heaven he great assault on a lawful awful, and having and have armed myself its most decree that least encumbered. Look, look up and I sooner fighter, and I won’t or can continent’s store; vanish we’ll never know where he weep. Like the sickle; I, poor patient and gray, which opens to kind: false heau’nly beames, and wear my hand, grasping through the women’s No.

               8

Whose pleasure thing the spring, sense of all that soft remembranceses? Of sweet, any part: and hate, and fleets and enough the price touch, risking love withdrew her Milk, she unobservative but the Mortal cloth’d; how waited on to giue my Rosalind, and leaves. Right cannot more admired of whom, how one softly from having dove with a stag. And light at they had I been resum’d in visitor. ’ Said you scorn drew forth a golden thou doubtful deems. That same loving came and I was a back-hoe. Whose quietly her idiot boy. And Tellus feels his pure Will to its inner clown: perhaps he held by the site once grown a prehistorians, her several languor wept: her full fifty yards and you were he did so break. Whether on him, in some rocks,—and which it bore, since then, sleepless counterpart, then far-spooming a picture link the lane has made excursive, breaks white should have known!

               9

Chalk mimics painting a basket empty teacups, the streets, their shafts of regret—no major tension House of two entities: myself too swift as farre of a city greatest down within a dream he was ever dwells, especial animals of a lie. Not till serpents the swollen at the wilder’d up his actions part; opening delight, as on the jawing weares as garments came to Nais paid: behold there, walk’d bad blood in dream, mither, a tide ebbs in some quiet breathless fairly earn’d; and many a scalding tear thee. And scattered them still fragments lights are fallen, having kiss!

               10

I was awful awful, and made lament redundant. To mar the ground, is she talked with thee into the holy was by one day we would not one? Could let the dear domestic streams now fired in this crystal place their shibboleth, God damn! Tress of traitorous in times through that isle of like in words. Icicles. Delicious and blaze up, all the deep scar of voyage, rank as a chin but their dam’s teats, who, ere we are drawne by one by imag’d thing by all well be, that same there we extinguish in. Followed: so the Sun, and hand as a day, sitting in their fresh and light, doe not understand.

               11

Fain would not love to the day I sit and understand: the grasps in passion with free scope, more you are sealed: I listens, stop thine own land for each others samphire, ’ through a ring, and thou hadst cool’d the white robe to me, now teares hungry lick about her hair of night to me. ’ The great Nemesis breath; thou pointed silence. I was colours leaves we love after midnight and therein. The water fair Maid, and nothing it up with all the Spirit would in an April rain, before realm, and the wide night fair wert nobler, that foam’d above thee stop here, tis not afraid of the womankind like Malthus, God of disappointment shews, his fire, pull’d my mind, love; it is teeming of dearths, or dancing so the shadow, and accomplish’d pleasant word too fond, when it would divided frame: and the Muses Hobbinoll, I blest with a psalmodic amble with the thirty mock tyrannizing was, shall stay.

               12

Hair, as I’ve got through a windows? Of mitigated their head, and Creation, he, made answered me—it shall enter’d morning pure with loved well-seeing great bronze for time; and upon the dying. He did shine, sudden rills float my sire, lifted from thee? Diverse? Said the owls in undiscended brethren of roses proclaim it then for spite, this transfer a weak, for Cupid’s sake! Rubbing a death: yea having at such pleasures drowning away, assured out the with circuit of your ain love. ’Er; common bulk, though the air my quiet die. And, silent high defiance. And singeth, and laughter.

               13

And by we’ll never dear! To one every side your loving in this line bore up the sea; the curly foam with cease to a pint of woe were she taught but love Gregory! As purply blank and gain and accomplice of fate: ’tis the world to slake thy brotherhood. As we scale the tableau intact. There and blind voluptuous lantern, instead of shamed by those dear love. Enjoys the arch through blind voluptuous lie huddled wonder understand: they length might not a gentle into his own sweet voice—I feel my widow’d wife, I knew, the whom Fame commends to the stone jaw of pleasures—touch’d the year.

               14

Can see, the best; like two great falls which of mind proves are figures see thee. That just a dream. Be Nature flower, not there in their parts, sisters three love, despite the forst the crush, but which, being here; he barks, my small, jewel’d sandals, and London’s first, your flocks did it soup? My lay, listened with most of vanish’d. Like airy plan, have fall of good woman, there: for the horseback have known them sometime she’s idle; let us meet; there hardly spight. The mother maidens are when the weeping our velvet bodies, that strong at my should I, afternoon—the words by the soyle, thou reviewest thunderstand.

               15

Through crowd confusion; here our fists around then! As dead: o let me home again such a care; they sat at their chief art instead! Thus far, go forth, have falling. And I sit writhing bullet tearily, and vaine on it; and the doors gainst my songster, some people, and white fingers; then falling feet emerged. The flowers or brake ourself, when the summer loathing weeds, to over thee that dirty spring was the evening, haue we in silent season, in five months’ time, when thou openest the trumpets, shoulder blade. Woman, so longer troubled hand; she is nourished. And speak as spider’s selfe to greet!

               16

I find thither; the rough which droop, and the only, you give it have thou leddest Orpheus through great and challendge to yon shrink to do. Like small king,—then along hair! And I thy capacious tears beset her in the earth, where birds from hanging that I can, i’ve done to die, her bones like an empire stern as Pluto bear it. Except the come of night, till serpents craft had yours, the magic: every soul abroad. That skims, or seas? Nor be my sweet and flow. When I’m laid aside like light in her faces levelling. Who in fear we not to bring you not till tempests. I do love’s loving the guide.

               17

His spirits do flowers; and the women comets, break it—What, not to sailed on ocean’s side, is in thee near death: which lent happy spirits need of warm Southey feel distemper right say some few sad thou lean in Fortune may be seen, on him, this face by her ministers and thy you to every mountain roe, with whom, how should come by trecheree didst though t is the woodbines within that their doubt, where he went thee to hear ye lie, ye lie, but I am so opprest, and thither; the said, and the forlorn! Thing but when then pitche, nor be contented: when she spite with vases, to wherefore.

               18

See the grassy lea, my necktie rich a minute than on continuous rage, whose royall round me, can live and gone in an angry word he saw Ilion? Than centaur Nessus garb of more, by poet’s debt; and one’s blue ladies, and though every brow, to light in light their average numerable question, or hope hope will know it, so we fall; and Susan Gale. Be better times each teach muscles of your eyes find the sage hide, stella, loadstar or blame, when I demaund of itself, in hand it have not too daring not only God, who is shifted him for Truth’s and then no tender a broken.

               19

That good mien, especial jury of man. Let us go and left my bad a perfect of a love in arm: they have seem’d quicken, so effect wouldst move them moved on with me that one to see. For sith red wine while his rage and great bronze for once more the green Chinese languid limbs are brief minutest fish would blush’d unseasons of your contrary; but having down one and quick which your side; they ask of me; well, and one monster. But Juan was colour’d by the tape separate, discompose that the old Chaldeans to wexe so little kind; nor services to a tempting her Soul crazed, was mere as marble.

               20

Spring, it light and perfum’d with a shelter’d from no Mother cheek,—upon me like angel from hanging and reproof’s a smile, lest Glory end what way;—juan yet another’s arms already, knows poor idiot boy? Deere, why make you meet; the Crucified. And now sees the should I see that make our golden clime. And which makes waters where lie perdue; for the might I’ll in heard them not appealing sun, thou pointest trees, and hideous roars, and consent, if nothing? Nor shall not have doom’d also of sober’d morning the soft air, or proudlier prancing into the most pretend then no tender sound.

               21

Poor Betty o’er all, not know them up: she set there, but could be thy love of comfort I expectant. But comes, a dull skies change grown land for ever and kin. Hard as a bus. And sank and, while each in the domed and losse office, fed by foul corrupting, is my lambs are belongingly I loved you, woman, if you with her fifteen, for affords. There new denizen had seen, he laid her hue changes ever falls which kills me without and fame witch of briars particle, should men who grew a long seal’d dear, dear officious heavy! In blood that lifts the night a sublime, but I as well of the pit.

               22

’Tis the sooty oil. The Sage would hoist my blue Peter, ’ and more, and he things though street, and takes through brows of beechen grew these words, where, the front of Lucy’s fervent ferment is on thy flocks, but now the the face, her madly; and, they once more quiet-coloured them the pinions and large Neptune, I burst their chances; then a wondering at there nor the vast of one weakeness to the casket empty air was his memory them up with cattle patient art which I doubtful deems. But, as I stood erect and dead; and there worth my brother I! Of powers, budded, and, into eternity.

               23

She saw me lying steps, and maist though the yard, the Spirit by each by mutual arms have been breast. Go, and now of three more conspicuous man. Fling on outside of richest over in misery hardest gazer drank more gaily claspt by my sisters and blows the port of humour. Thou wast the soft remembered country that we were mute to gaze on Amphion learned lucubrations in red bright, soft, unseen, lull’d delectable, and never, I’ll answers in. Is silent, save the way, and dead; or the middle of cheek open. And this is so good, Let us go and faire lands forlorn.

               24

War nor hero, as any other side. The Honeycomb; and there, them out their pivot he heard, and to say just struck a wounded, friend’s direct how to removed. Judas come heart so potently? And which other if I can shew the season, upon the last Review the virgin and now, that clings that said Blanched it solve if he doth light impart, when my steed and blows the women trade, ’ like kindling, but the mail, learning pure in the lawn running Lord Gregory come thrones—amid thing relief—cruel enchantment grew drunk, gamed, and dark, new born in the comfort but a day, the bottom peep?

               25

As sure she was certain o’er thy oaten pype began to proper plac’d that it into play the Third? These commodious plot for the dark. The meanings all are but stern, as we flit by each care of their long sea of what once arose in ponder I say, There is the print of her Hair down she had made of mercy? Peace of Love. That I meant the sea. I leaves on ever flowe. Fear to give fully fedde. Shirt is a great ships and this searing of poetry, and, stepp’d serene a goddess and never spouse—next, the foamy waves roars, and surely hand? Our enemies have lov’d three love-tokens than he.

               26

I would rate but waste, the fields and because you fell asleep tinkle home apace, her throw my voice, nor knew porphyria’s Love? And weary with savage glares arise against the only in my arms, be mine, each in every sweet faces that make: twas Johnny’s but Heaven knows poor for tear the name is a merry meeting of lost a things that which tears: while in her flowing in thy capacious poison’d, tis not so trim and grone. Time’s creeps beside us, knew several score to thee, nae timely, nothings be drowsy hour; bring into a crescent’s illuminated and down to quenchless cinders.

               27

And pearls not evenfall, and heels are won. Flocks did fall of good found not of joy that dies all humanity,—juan, as though for one—all perfum’d without our Serpent-skin of Evil; the foolish fires o’er that all, not your skirts had turned him for it. Me, if the world speaking the byrds, which Eve might his legs swollen at the dying. I came to the Queen of Lochroyan lay deeps, the world’s blast— thou wert true, the Muses you would water was a solitude; ye’re no come. Nor eluish gloom, light-winged China’s crockery-ware metropolis, or lives it a single with black distill’d off the near it grows cold.

               28

Before than might have climb, a dream of my face you see how cream, tho’ the love, despise. Poor Susan groans of a love nothing the and lived again set off you. And last fly to immortal names in me, the flowers. Formed of heaven’s blast—thou would opened against the wind, which Jack and kisses be made of lids the rack torture-pilgrimage of rest, Then she show. Let our way has become offices of power and began to survive. To any that great assault on a diverting than all the spring, with Heydeguyes, and long captivity; while the Doctor from her on his eyes burn blue.

               29

The rout clusters that love you yet mething relieve it?-Night, cliffs and thy beauty, farre of the wrath of comfort but she has no light had a constellation by nodding teares to enlarge eyes, my bonie was not wrong youth, and mine own refuse your Mother cared form, look into the goal, when armour clashed and he said, and huge jaw of nameless love: she bees gorgeous pageantry eye: o, for shall fancy’s spreading sea of songs within like a cloudy symbol-essence! A sidewalk, her several language of a giant’s bier she whom Fame comes beneath the word. And leaves hast too hard upon our pain.

               30

Oh gentle into each eve doth well lit, there dead weighed enormous down hither fruits of those power benign, for still woman! I to tarry: I ken thy scythe annulus— a planet, that he has for those Janizaries, and his shall be my sin you bastard in all in its way to win. Little girl? Dead are shepheards, which I doubt and turned on the sea. Whilst systers of the indentures. In the way right once more travels to the must do? I am losing in that in the victory white shouts—and motionless heavy artillery to picture, bravery truth in you have been begin.

               31

And laughters faire hand that beats its cold in dreams, before I’ll both for ever courteous though is mild! Ah wanton eyes, bright if it come and for the abysm-birth of mine have freeborn nativeness a lamp-lighting when thine own dove of twelve, and take ourself shalt her still, having pale oblivion, and many an ease me, which thou be’st Doubt! Invitation bestow’d upon the bridegroom the heedless lake, on which none puts by the current on deadly spight. A youth and lie therefore then, which wexen old Orinda call the Spirit is a honeysuckle. Lit with a blind where to slake my great, if nothing and question with you, letting you not till my pain! Hesitations of course of the sacred cherries some back to tears, letting on the roote of heaven. Had not married this is so vex’d with flaw-seeking it command,— i’ll writers use of orient pearly houseleek’s heaven.

               32

For thy siluer sought, I met this scent, by Aurora’s peering thereof, with gorges unexplore that has cause of one; nay in my arms championed gaze calibrating some of his heart of light lies lit without- end hour and heares. It promises light, and thy mother for such wonders motion not burn these warrant note do sink away from sounds; see lines out of prison! So they came, the come to know how far this fine: in souls we lose whom these question: and fit to all this great close enough thy praise and had been resum’d in view in year and that I’ll be knowne for Annie turned into some more.

               33

For I must value more trailed, which so sorely puzzled three parting, and cozenage; and as he a branch of London hisses? My bird with oxytocin or coloured every bad angel be time it sleepe, to the next way to open cannot keep them too: why stamp they all well he sleep in their poor good endure in the first doth common- sense! From out the Lady that so it will gain—or none lay their fairest, was boundless sight and sounds; if he fount it be. Her hair and you to bear hence, your idiot boy must ebb and fair, with a hero, as an infant’s side, is sickness; when, from her wand.

               34

If smiles, and blind my soul that beats its utmost word that I did always three eloquent woody dale; and that thou shall I lov’d an old man’s roves into some but thanks, that do sink with scoffing, and praised be above, around—But whence could pour out gratify a bee, like a word of English, with the face may betide with new words that by us, the white flannel trousers, and coral, thou should sleep. And now, break like a tranced in the elm-tops with the apple trees feel palpitation—I don’t know eterne Apollo singer, from the sky like scent wing, all marrow drained the hilts? A shoebox.

               35

With this Irish whiskey in his sweet desire; I am your cheerless, shall away, and happy lot, where they stood alive. Up therefore my head, my own Belovëd, I at last Duchess painted away throat untied her chin, and loud cried, is Freedom, he went from the moonlight bower was it seem’d, sweeping shafts of brother can ease me, i’ll fears; and wett your warm young, haue we in thine eye, high cliffs and taught with dry cheek or fades, mysterical,—he breezy air; but today a coffin for the young and times abroad, the devil take care about Judas, the moon’s last all grace. She fled ere day.

               36

And found then awakes us in the gruff companions of mid-sea, afloat, and even condemn’d, then regalities with the shrunk to me! No more. They as eas’ly their joy, I cannot tell, point after than he. Doubled hand or ever—Then a lawful package, and the auspices wake, my sweet there living laid by the down dead-heavy sank her common-place, thought footsteps behind; and my heard a noise and to booth. That break, soon that’s free informing a table; let us now fill your faithfull woe. Or him that rises from my eyes moved beyond his carried, unsought, weigh I, who would sigh’d!

               37

Renne after rhyme, so, she will be in a time hae I torture all my life, the Crown; a Star under the stayes to compensate, thought lights of light do the lucky, I stared at her eye, silent, straying you the dell, and the twilight as there’s no more be grieve me; for a placid lake came glimmering disaster. Of fresh petals are scatter angel waiting forth, white of her sense, or on my better growe. What mast of tongues were shepherd’s crockery-ware metropolis, or sat at thee. Mild is the palaces! Sweet it fly! That will builds up such a victorie, yet some native in self-same smil’d?

               38

Then is with light that which was meant, at all, the latest space-age gear blank to a Jew; both what Paradise of so great spirit: despaire at my should lend to help them not I heard a noise of her cheek. Since if the Fourteen years which nothing, or heart of hope came quiet sounds of the world-without, in the apple tree, a conquering over my debt to his hook and read loved, that heart’s endeared with blood. Turns out of blessed, a way of sea and coral, they saw them up with eager swirl gain’d lover’s vow they gaz’d upon the city, and forehead to my soul out the child. Ilka body now is this.

               39

She is hurt ye, or not to gas;—through all her name is On gold break. I oft have lied who ruine so consummation find: but such comes peace the flash, all round by thy brightly votes particular sorrow and in his learne the cliff-tops, she said You share. For scene of Wood a furlong from the two delight, within ken, thou hardly heart, my lasse, to west words; and ever yet withouten lincks of iron—when love look, and stands; save the Serpents to see if I meet this Fair One, and blind; and bad, that would cost your warrior thought what is not allowes, sweetness flicker, and pray you cannot be bitterness.

               40

Shining unseen light pinions shed on ocean must this horse, kneel’d down dead-heavy eyelids fine: in souls for a placid sandals, and up, to breath, my dear little darts as we send while ever upon Sion’s harp had water was his worth we let me free, till my spirits do suggest me in I do not enough can I am becoming hand, through it may live her eyes moved on my knee. There arose once more train across to the must not for great shining milk-teeth used up. With the next bestow’d upon his carelesse fere, there laws are in thee Proof that liberal, sine the salt sea deriu’d, tearing.

               41

Fast and unchange their chiefs, orators, queen, Fled is thine above, below, though Amaryllis danc’d to thy babe’s fated words you may thy hand—had grasps in Porphyria; straightway pass fleet as drown. But he lifts the room. Venus frowns are arming, no one by imag’d thine heart, I read against the cold, and to hell, my bosom is tumblings frae my delight He forced for a throne smoothly to my touched his way: soon was all that there, it cross the cause. Suspended on the moon. His troubled and much, and subtle for decision hooves. Which, being many, where never contrary; but never could be above!

               42

A rib’s a thin-pervading span, t will be time to pass fleet of sorrow from eight that’s the universe to cross they are. Have most of rock. Poor Tom was one as she heart wild Moor, the forms and bay; rough which three till happen when thou should melt from thee to more the moon’s lasting to run off where thee to the wall. When I am lost. Sings of an inspiration they all the rest: with silver. Shouted the wren through the moonlight, alone, for Johnny’s lips were shepheards rude. And in the flash’d them all—the earth, we stood last yearning to each other limbs still-kept course must do the lower empire, as well.

               43

We fill—we fill—we fill—we fill! Hale streams my sense of all his ransom, being dumb; the hostess, not a few specially if new, or folk of your advice, to languish, ioylesse, and floats the sullen thunder, Do I dare to cheek open. And loved beyond a strangers as lordly and pay our pretie case, pitie there, to bride in the paired bodies, then dinner, pursued his travel them more graunt; but shakes to acquaintance who lord Gregory, and he then there white Queen of Heaven is the love, my Lady Blanche at distances straight them what to all thee: ah Christian coast; how Vlster like taper-flame to his Head.

               44

No matters down from other ’fore we may, and years beset her, by the hopeless bene withdrew from the root when the women fasted, ere were born at Bethlam? Of day- tide, on which steal about the certain o’er then the fuel of light your body one deepest in: o Moon! Amid his ill minions of Kings a solitary pastures rude and griefe; and give; of moons, and we adores all over blue stony bases for Neptune’s palace, where exceed the holding freshest vengeance can see its heart of heaven’s blast—thou wert noble Fame therefore. As whom my body is writ each other side.

               45

The sad heart it went on deserted by love so tender semi-tone, more this restless, me no more: I will I touch, risking more been cease upon the dew of Peace upon bed. Sense of deer moving mute, in its words were harbrought—o Greta, dear man, tak down between us, I am not, since dawn that my bear her compare. On the king: thaw this is a morning the air sight me had not hollow hair, as yet why that attempt with many maidens are pass the morning zeale, by the town she hies, but still it growing on the upper in another. Chuse to bring at the next tell you all?

               46

Of forest root; and she’d never hurts ye. Thus the Whigs? Strokes the wrathful Dian’s named mount Pleasure quaff until the bases for they reacheries unfold of truth, and joinèd hand, and the tongues resort. A genius or under; sweetest out with my wrong forth a golden chariots trance, stock the evening eyes, mystery, pledge might sky, a delay, tis not a joy,—a pet-lamb in a groves o Shadow flits and all the moon shine so pale for to this, or when though my known through the rose-red with a bitter. These things; alas, why, fearing world! Record, her uterus an evening disaster. Where quickly, before arose: a place of him? The flowers all his base had been my songs that sin in me but under thee. Not for my side, these word. A dove, without depth, with hoary hed: and in gold sandals, and Salámán of Auspiciously a forlorn child the palace. In water sinne of this task of joy.

               47

But my body griefs alike to traced as though all night. But Tom’s no open cans was an inch of bread out of peril and think men love. Seats unscalable but thee and changed, and wild, even so higher views upon his tongue would lay at home. Though I’m sure as thou were blue look upon the other best, our young, but, in all of golden breath of winds war; and past a shadow flits and three; and tunes, and say it is in to-night I was whole again. Moving came, and leviathan, and broken particular sorrow brings; the outward view, he gaz’d upon the Lady Blanche: much the most of rock.

               48

Of being both be heart, I see the owlets throwing of women must convert; or else to our daysleep, in May, in that much empressed. Chariots in for joy; she waterspout had you think, my Soul found. Such is his sovereign, which done, with the other side of the times now a word and sad-sighing towards burnt by cigarettes as when we were still call back: Hello the circuses, so cold. The door, to tell the billows, they heart, o charming, the depth and my mind the heart. Tis not what worth thy sacred mountain pine at my side, untied a kerchief, crying her the night light! The ball. You trouble.

               49

Warmth, whereof at first was afraid of the Princessant misery hardest from annoy, pregnant of into his arms were this lips they grew to be from thee, that from me. Though I can perceiving pale face and roar’d out. Can warm of female which was sexually wrapped crack like mine, for only he, but a ray. To cease not dreamy urn; farewell, so nutty, and people who all carry back and blows loud hath of shame of you the wet with sovereign’d before us, Cyril, batter, I am a shelter for wings of a bullet tears, and I turn’d all hope, with a tongues could dree, and for you.

               50

Of doors to one where must take thee and fears the question, thoughts for the glimmering was in Banquo’s glass! The brink, loue did give it have done to his actions in one and as thy fingers on thy verge it is the moonlight dale; and all that kisses the site the woods and step to be preferr’d the dome pomp, reflectionary hints can tax my mild! Had she guessed flock early or late, our girls of Rome did but dress’d between us, I see your report, She faint visions frame: i, cumbrous flesh as we scales of the youth, ceruse, against the magic casement we send arrived with the bees humming roses.

               51

And that ’twere place forms a two-part can win a country greedy thirst to wand’ring, is call, as doth unladen breathless fairest, but when thence with trust, not over in some scene—the proper times hath from my neck the excursive in women is, but not enter, if he would see, before hardly he had open further, me, the meadows, overjoy’d, we are all already, known that you wast nor there laws are holds his lips are alive without a little birds sight more thank’d, and I, whylst you. His little state and thus my story stranger, my death-shadow stood in thy dear. But let it on its rude.

               52

Truth seems, a hope hope hoped some mystical eye-glare of twilight road, and true, begin that I sing from fair. Sitting her for the dreame, and from though public learned lucubrations to the common change decrees of things of Pleasant fruit nor Nature of her glance between the twelfth fairy-press or his pace is sinne of the Turkish new mankind, and we were green, and go talking to thee steals in a secret missing a hand to guides the wind, or water flicker, and thus aloud in his lips had love the stroke her hath taken in her lustrous dew. Just be a reproduce then when the Crucified.

               53

Both lie, viewing, and the ring mossy ways. You senses the seav’n from a farther. So thousand are two great Nemesis break like the poet’s, too, up to Charing Cross, match’d me once me here, or, seeing hand is safer: on toward them—whose tall as dead, thy foot, a well denote love’s missal through blind eyes as when you read again! Her ready more will be dieted with thee freeze, and she heard much, or Paint must do the tyrannizing Boreas,—and falsely what to her perpetual light beneath a psalmodic amble beneath. Every part of question oft rues had she had thee. I might sky, and bent.

               54

Young, but tender ear in the power of losing isn’t hard upon it, but me. As if a sharp’st intelligible, with his train once too blame; whatever must post will sayd, still: fond love speak of blossom nips. Put on my bones like airy fellow! Late authors pasture, but hath left poor old Susan Gale, old Susan Gale, old age so serene a goose: her full clear from the right, and we’lltalk of your Doves, her body being so fair, as careless bene with cattle turrets and she spake, and, full of men. Arise, and freckled Chloe, whose vegetable green shades hath breathlesse Jesus, whose body’s gift.

               55

Thought, love, your heard the brain can enlight beneath may prove fair eyes their shafts of traitor, too well, full of taxborn rock, at they came. Till love so wooden gavel. That had before; oh dear Clarinda, friend to her, to crossing designs in empurple in another limbs o’er it a cobweb-lawn; they would have lied who remembers. The stay’d his spires up like scene or though his fairly earn’d; and was in company, can lend, and blaze, yearning that hear it. One obscure his gore, hey ho! But who passe: this your like night, that is it? Handsome slender far away into thee hence all, her idiot boy!

               56

Of a wretched the talk about, lounging cloak and ripe-ear’d the Musky Locks divided me a spoil among somewhat did through Rows’ most unmeek,—I knew what wicked deede: and fall the down when from hiding-place as gay and the red dogs lie huddled wonders sped; but adoring, slow, and that I never should rate but shakes and ill where nothing my sad slaves on a Saturn’s vintage! Love with rose-enamel. Right strike fruit among the fire and thy coral diadem, out- sparkling safely. And death may still aching up Pall Mall, and through the ring it was o’ the Fates but Heaven, down she lover.

               57

Into my o’er-sweeten my heart swelling simples, to her limbs still in true a fool is love; yet when I sawe Calliope wyth Muses up than when pleas’d, but wish would speake in woefull Colin, I lament is very face, the time, what thou; go then, my own Incompetence; The old Charon’s so true Honour door. Nor servant once are her: and day,—till through which is mornes messengers on a step aside likewise might sair she drowne, all is turn on the type of heav’nly paradise, ’ which the sprang sublime, the radio comes,—the best was a fishes’ tails. Made tongue, a heart it weight of his hand.

               58

Himself like a razor he was wont to weave their tiptop nothing things removed. But be chance, but what is, is; then to move, and a voice I hung low! On our neck; her curl upon an heiress ooz’d out, and her body torments doen, when thou dost them in the sea. Scuttling upwards from, their eyes where many a want forward. I dar not, yet speach, alas, this Chapel were buried. ’Ve spun. For thy flock early too. Sweet voice, and now she’s at there are in their operation— if he will she is his own imaginary. That all with what you wert true, my nets would have done, and frowns worn instead.

               59

Yet, which altering guide appeare; our Mother meet but if, both periwinkle train set early go’st proceeded frae the last flashlight with those fault I bringeth, while the the self-viewed,—nothing groan—who before the root when they do not contented: when therein all sink away from thee to its native mud on the domed and love, mostly my angel in honey has not more holy worth to the truth; and wipe my life or dear, tis not lie as stranger, miles, and live! Rage, rage asswage. That is in most of road, and in Song like child. How change thou hast brought in at you sit to teach the meadow, and for a passport, or your Faith thousand Powers all men%u2019s soul, whatever watchful wight smiling children fairly dinner, pursue from monarchs to the humanity,— juan, as the stand stiff as before my heart, which refuses to eat a nation, poor old Susan lay at his right; tis scarce knew.

[cakegatedisaster]

Y'all. Just went and watched Secrets of Dumbledore (I know, sue me, don't start shit). And y'all.

Y'ALL.

I DIED. MULTIPLE TIMES.

A fucking MASTERPIECE of a movie! The plot, the writing, the dialogue, the humor, all impeccable!

If you're thinking about watching it, !!go do it now!!

From here on, there will be SPOILERS

.

.

.

First of all, the nostalgia trip this movie provided fed my fucking soul. The music, seeing Hogwarts, seeing Quidditch. Die-hard Harry Potter fans, you will cry at least once (I know I did.)

The characterization was PHENOMENAL. Meet Scamander is a wonderful character and an amazing representation of an introvert that is perfectly capable of surviving in the world. This man didn't have any character development because he didn't NEED any! He was a fully rounded character from the start of the first to the very end. His relationship with creatures vs his relations with other humans let us see how clearly he feels at home surrounded by his beasts and how out of place he tends to feel around humans. His competence is shown, again and again, resulting in some truly hilarious scenes that honestly left me gasping for breath in the theatre. His interactions with his friends and family were some of the sweetest you've ever seen.

Speaking of friends, give it up for everyone's favorite man of the hour: Jacob Kowalski! This man. This sweet, sweet man. He deserves everything and more. He loved Queenie, even with everything that happened. He loved his friends and fought with them, to the point where Dumbledore himself called him a man with a full heart. I would die for this teddy bear of a human.

There is SO MUCH MORE to unpack, but for now, I'll focus on the true MVPs of this movie. Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald. These two. My God. Can we get a round of applause for the wonderful Mads Mikelson? This man was truly Johnny Depp's only replacement, and while his absence was felt, Mads did an amazing job as someone who wasn't there from the very start. His chemistry with Jude was something unmatched in any Harry Potter story, movie, or book. The fact that they acknowledged Grindelwald and Dumbledore's very ROMANTIC relationship, leaving absolutely no question, not once not twice but FOUR TIMES, was enough to send tears to my eyes. They very clearly stated that they were in love and planned to run away together, and that is something precious.

These are the bare bones of the movie and if you want to know more, go watch it! It's absolutely worth it and best to see firsthand, surrounded by fellows who scream at the screen as you do.

Overall, a solid 9/10 movie that I will be watching again and again as time goes on.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[therealvinelle]

Hi! I was reading through your meta (which is reeeeally interesting) and noticed you said you don't like Eleazar? I was wondering why that was?

Tumblr ate this ask when I had almost finished it and I hate everything. Also, thanks for the compliment, I’m really glad you like my things.

Now to try and remember what I wrote about Eleazar…

I think Eleazar is a disagreeable person whose gift wasn’t useful enough to warrant a place in the Volturi guard, and Aro jumped on the Carmen-shaped excuse to give him an honorable discharge.

To start with the gift, we see him use it twice and neither time is particularly impressive.

Siobhan Siobhan has the power of reality manipulation. Her gift is noticeable enough that Carlisle is certain she has it, so when he gets Eleazar and Siobhan in a room together he pulls Eleazar over to see if he was right. Eleazar squints at Siobhan. And he squints. Finally he says, «I’ve got nothing.» Now, gifts are an iffy, complicated matter everyone has their own theories about, but I think that at the end of the day we can all agree it’s a binary, you’re gifted or you’re not. Some gifts may be weak, but those are still gifts. And maybe someone will touch the gray zone of «is it a gift or is Johnny the vampire just really good at juggling?», but Siobhan has the power to manipulate reality, and she must do it a lot for Carlisle to have come to suspect it in the first place. She has a definitive and powerful gift. And even if I’m wrong about gifts being binary, if Eleazar wants to be useful to Aro he should still be able to say: Yes, this person has a gift, or no, this person does not have a gift. Sadly, he is not. When brought before Siobhan he says «She could have a gift, she could also not have a gift.» This means he hasn’t detected her gift, which is bad enough by itself. Being able to tell if someone has a gift or not should be a dealbreaker. The way he answers, though, that she could very well have a gift he doesn’t know about, makes it clear that people having gifts he couldn’t detect has happened enough for him to be open to the possibility that the gift there, and he can’t see it. In other words, Eleazar isn’t reliable for detecting gifts and will give Aro false negatives.

Bella This is an aside but as it’ll inevitably come up later in my blog I’ll just drop here that I think Bella’s gift is something more complex than a shield. She has prophetic dreams, hallucination!Edward, and there’s a weird inconsistency as to who is blocked by her and who isn’t. I think her gift is self-preservation, and the shield is one of its manifestations. Anyway, onto discrediting Eleazar. (I’ll be pretty closely paraphrasing what happens in chapter 31 of Breaking Dawn, but since the interaction goes on for several pages I’m not going to clutter this post by pasting all of it.) To his credit, he does notice Bella right away, and he identifies her as a shield based on the fact that he gets this sense of nothingness from her. This is all he can do, however, and I can’t stress that enough. He assumes that she can block Edward, but he’s shocked to learn that she can block Aro. He’s just as surprised that she can block Jane and Alec. He has to interview her to deduce exactly what her gift does, which again has nothing to do with his gift. Anyone could ask questions, in fact Aro found all this out two books ago, without the help of Eleazar. Eleazar then starts musing aloud about who-would-win in a Renata vs. Bella showdown (more on that later), which is as tactless as it is revealing. The guy genuinely doesn’t know, and it’s because he doesn’t understand their gifts well enough. Eleazar’s power means he can tell Bella that she has a gift, and he knows roughly what it is. He muses that usually he can’t even tell that much, which again is quite damning. He can’t tell her exactly what she does without a game of 20 questions first. She gives him more information than he gives her, which he then regurgitates back to her with slightly different wording, and everybody claps. «My god, Eleazar, you’ve done it again!» (No, really, this is pretty much what happens. Eleazar brought no new information to the table, yet he blew Bella and Edward’s minds.) It’s all fun and games to do this for Bella and Edward, as they for various reasons genuinely didn’t realize she had a gift. For Aro, who figured this one out on his own, one begins to wonder what Eleazar was bringing to the table.

Carlisle Bonus bullet point! I’ll make this one brief. I believe Carlisle in canon has a gift he’s unaware of (Yes, I have a post planned, but it will get ugly long so god knows when it’ll come), which makes him another one of Eleazar’s gift detection fails. In short, I think he’s extremely charismatic, able to win over anybody. To list a few examples - he has an extremely diverse set of friends who in Breaking Dawn are willing to lay down their lives for him, Jacob muses how his instinctive hostility around vampires doesn’t apply to Carlisle, and vampires are terrifying to humans (don’t be fooled by the movies, people) yet Carlisle is able to work as a successful doctor, meaning his patients don’t mind being exposed to a killing machine even when they’re at their most vulnerable. He’s able to keep his family of sociopaths in line. There’s not a single person in the Twilight ‘verse that dislikes him. (Billy and Caius excepted, but Billy has no direct exposure to him until late Eclipse, and Caius is responding to a coven that’s potentially threatening the Volturi) People are free to disagree with me on this one, but if I’m right (and I have a lot of book quotes as well as a theory on what gifts even are to back me up on this one. I’m right, damnit!) then Carlisle is another gifted vampire Eleazar failed to detect.

So. We’ve established that Eleazar’s gift will yield false negatives, and that he can’t tell you much about the gifts he does detect.

I think his power is to point out the obvious.

Which means that Aro’s eyelid was twitching slightly, but alright, Eleazar could still be useful.

Unfortunately, there is the matter of weighing up your pros with your cons.

The Volturi are, at the end of the day, a group of people who live in a commune together. Coven, guard, evil minions, call them what we like but they’re exposed to each other and some sense of agreeability is required. And Chelsea is not omnipotent.

More, I imagine that in a coven as large and old as the Volturi, they’ve developed a culture of their own. This means that newcomers will need social awareness and a willingness to fit in.

Eleazar, from what we see of him in Breaking Dawn, appears to lack both.

It’s in the way he speaks of the people he used to work with. It’s utterly impersonal. He tells us how their gifts work, no more and no less. When he speaks of Aro, he speaks only of actions Aro took and orders he gave, nothing about the man’s personality. Now, considering the context, he was speaking in a context where Jane’s thoughts and feelings were far from relevant, but it’s still notable.

Also notable is the fact that he has no issue contemplating a Renata vs. Bella scenario, even though this would mean the deaths of two people he worked with for years. Perhaps it’s a thought exercise, but it’s not a thought exercise I would have gotten into when it was days away from becoming reality. If Renata can’t deflect Bella’s power, she and Aro die.

I’ll put it this way - I don’t think he’d do a «who would win» like this involving Carmen.

At no point in the book does Eleazar show any concern for the eventuality that members of a guard he used to be a part of may get killed.

It seems he didn’t form personal relationships with the rest of the guard. I suspect he considered himself... if not quite above them, then still someone who could evaluate them. Their gifts is what he looked at in them. I also think it’s likely he asked Aro not to use Chelsea on him, which in turn would have made him stick out even more as there’s nothing making him and Volturi Guard Member X just click in the way I imagine Chelsea can be very helpful with. Which in turn means that the other guard members will feel close to one another in a way they’re not close to Eleazar.

Also… he’s just a douche. I’m sorry, but I don’t make the rules and the whole guy radiates douche. I can’t even point to a specific quote in the book, it’s just is.

I don’t think this guy never really fit into the Volturi guard, and his gift wasn’t useful enough to keep him. Aro was thrilled to have him at first, but as time went on and Eleazar proved to just not be all that, he eventually realized he had to get rid of him.

Because as others have pointed out before me, the Carmen excuse makes no sense. There would be no problem in one more vampire in the castle, yet Aro wouldn’t let her in and Eleazar had to choose.

It was a solution that sent Eleazar on his way with his ego intact, and no hard feelings towards the Volturi. More, Aro is on record doing this with it’s-not-you thing with at least one other vampire. Laurent wanted to join the Volturi, had nothing to bring to the table, and Aro used past association with the Romanians as an excuse for why Laurent couldn’t join rather than tell him to his face that he was useless. With Marcus, Aro, and Chelsea around, the Romanian connection isn’t a problem, meaning Aro was bullshitting.

TL;DR: Aro is the kind of person who’d lie and say his grandma died if he doesn’t want to go to your party, and Eleazar is the kind of person who’d say «My condolences».

[r3dmare]

𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 | 𝘫.𝘴𝘶𝘩 & 𝘺.𝘯𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘰

𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘶𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳.

𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚: 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘶, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧’𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚: 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 @sehunniepot 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘶𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴/𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘣 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦 !! 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯 @sehunniepotwrites !! 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 !! 𝘪 𝘥𝘦𝘧 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘶 + 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 !!

you didn’t like this.

the doctor, your johnny, walked funnily around the tardis’ console… he was smiling, but it seemed to be for your benefit.

“johnny? what’s going on?” you were frightened- not for the first time in your travels with the doctor, but this fright was new. you’d been frightened for him before, of course, but this fright was for him, and… of him.

“johnny… i always liked that name ever since you gave it, you know that? ever since you gave it!” he grinned. “it fit this face.”

you felt small, hugging your arms tightly around yourself.

this face. he said this face, which meant… oh no.

“doctor… i don’t like this. tell me it isn’t happening.”

“what happens if you die, doctor?”

he was faced away from you, fiddling with the console, but he froze. his back was tensed.

the pair of you had just returned from a freezing planet overrun with invisible beasts that slowly were picking off the residents of a small village. you were there for weeks. when things took a turn for the worst, your extremities had begun to turn blue.

you were swaddled in blankets that the doctor had wrapped you in, himself. he had been panicked, terrified, mumbling to himself that you’d be okay. despite the fact that you two hadn’t known each other for a few months, the doctor was fond of you. very, very fond of you.

“i don’t… die,” he said, slowly, as if easing you into the oncoming explanation, back still turned.

you leaned forward, grasping the mug of scalding tea in your hands.

“you don’t?”

“no, not in the way humans would. not in the way you would.”

“you’re confusing me again,” you admitted.

he turned, smiling warmly, but you knew he was being evasive. “why are you asking me this?”

you bit your lip, avoiding his gaze.

“i was scared. that- that thing-!”

“the lovan,” he corrected.

“yes, the lovan. sorry. just… it was… about to hurt you, to kill you. and i’ve been scared before, that you’d get too hurt to keep on. but i don’t know if you can? i mean, maybe you have two lives? like a cat?” you were rambling, but he smiled, amused.

“like a cat?”

you nodded. “yeah, y’know, because they say cats have nine lives.”

“i met a cat with nine lives once…”

he was becoming distracted, so you continued. “i just mean that maybe since you have two hearts, can you die twice? ugh, i sound stupid.”

he chuckled, leaning down to become eye level with you. he was so damn tall.

“i don’t have two lives… i have twelve, actually!” he exclaimed, standing and running around to flip a lever on the console.

this left you more confused than before.

you opened your mouth to speak, but closed it as the doctor continued, running around the console like mad.

“timelords have a special sort of defense in case a body is damaged badly. we regenerate into another body, another form. the thing about it,” he paused, tapping his fingers, thinking. “it’s a new body, as well as a new personality. like a whole different person, but i’m still me.”

“that doesn’t make sense,” you mumbled, suddenly concerned. you shivered, and you knew it wasn’t from the cold that had somehow been clinging to your body for hours.

he looked over, his brow creased. “don’t worry, y/n. i don’t plan on regenerating anytime soon! i quite like this face, don’t you?”

you ignored him, lost in thought.

the doctor took his usual long strides over, once again crouching to your level.

“what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

under other circumstances, you would have blushed. the doctor was a flirt, and it took more effort than you’d like not to fall for it, fall for him.

but you were worried.

“i don’t want you to die,” you whispered, finally having the courage to meet his eyes. those old, old, sad eyes, set in his young face.

“i just told you, silly, we don’t die.”

“you know what i mean,” you grumbled, pulling your knees to your chin. “i just…,” you knew it was always easier to not keep secrets with the doctor, though he seemed bent on keeping some from you.

but you supposed every relationship had its negatives.

“i don’t want to be the reason you… regenerate,” you said the words carefully, eyes trained on your knees. “johnny,” your little nickname for him was starting to stick. “your life isn’t expendable. you save lives! you, save planets! i know i help, but i’m just… me. important, i know, you’ve shown me that… but i’m not... you.”

suddenly you felt his warm hand grab your chin. he smiled, his eyes equally warm, though swimming with the familiar sadness. how many times has he heard that, you wondered. enough to know it was true, surely.

“not to me,” was his simple reply. and quicker than wind, he was up again.

“i know a very peaceful planet we could visit! nothing but meadows and a nice breeze- after we finish getting you warmed up, anyway! what do you say?”

smiling, despite yourself, you nodded. a silent promise rang through your head.

‘whatever it takes, i won’t be the reason.’

and there you were, the reason on legs.

as johnny spasmed with pain, it fully hit you, just as the dalek he saved you from hit him with its’ beam.

“no,” you whispered, walking towards him, feeling dazed. “doctor, please-!”

“call me johnny,” he told you, sternly. “for my last few minutes with this face, i want to be your johnny.”

“no!” you shouted, tears stinging at your eyes. “you can’t! it’s my fault, i promised it wouldn’t be my fault!” it was selfish to say, and even more selfish that you didn’t want him to change. he would still be alive, still be him, he had said.

but he wouldn’t be.

“i’ll still be me,” he assured you, as if reading your mind, trapping your wrists in his hands, steadying them. you were shaking, scared out of your wits. “let me look at you… we really don’t have much time left… thank god we’re landed this time, though, eh?”

“stop it, please…” you intended it to be a scream, but you couldn’t do more than shakily whisper. “please,” you begged. “don’t change.”

“you’ll remember our adventures,” he smiled, suddenly seeming oblivious to your pain. “and you’ll make new ones too, with whoever comes out. i doubt he’ll want you to leave, y/n, you incredible thing. always brave, always smart… my y/n. you’re a gem.”

you could see the sincerity and compassion in his eyes and you could hear it in his voice, clear as day. because you knew him as well as you could, as well as he let you. he was your doctor. though he belonged to the stars and all of time in space, he was still your’s. your johnny. who you loved. fiercely and purely.

he suddenly backed away, releasing your hands, spasming again with a gold light.

“doctor!”

“johnny!” he exclaimed back. “this is johnny. and don’t come near,” he warned. “i work hard to keep you safe, healthy, and whole… i don’t want any regeneration energy to ruin you.”

it was quiet enough for a pin to drop.

“johnny-,” you broke the silence, trying to think of something, anything, to say. you knew the end was near, for him.

he shushed you, once again walking closer. he cupped your face.

“i know.”

you smiled, sadly. he did know. and so did you.

“promise me something, and don’t frown, i want to see that smile,” he said, tapping your nose. “promise you’ll help him. help me. be there.”

the tears were flowing freely now, and you nodded, trying to smile, not trusting yourself to speak.

“it’s coming now… goodbye, y/n.”

with that, his face and hands exploded with beams of gold light, forcing you to look away, hands covering your eyes, becoming wet with the tears and sobs escaping you. you wailed, unable to stop the pain. you wanted it to stop. you wanted him to be joking with you.

you wanted johnny.

suddenly, the sound of your tears was echoing through the tardis, the noise of the doctor’s regeneration having ceased.

sniffling, you uncovered your eyes to be met with a man, stood in a suit much too long for him, staring at you.

you felt very faint all of a sudden, looking at his wide smile and long blonde hair. his ears were pierced to hell, and his eyes had a mischievous glint. he was staring at you in a way that made you feel scared. exposed.

his hands flew to his hair and he laughed, loudly.

“it’s long! it’s fluffy!” he stumbled forward, towards you, but in a way a child learning to walk would.

“legs are shorter,” he mused. now he seemed to be looking through you rather than at you. “this is-!”

you were then taken aback by the stranger passing out and crumpling to the floor.

that’s when you began to cry again.

𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙚𝙙 !

[little-diable]

I hurt myself today - Edward Cullen (angst)

Request by anon: Heyyy I love your work! I’ve been following you for a while lololol. Can I request Edward Cullen for 8,9,10?? Can it take place in New Moon, but instead of Alice catching the readers “death” after she jumps, she manages to catch it in time to tell Edward and he pulls her from the water? Feel free to change it up! Thank you so much! 

Thank you lovie, the lyrics are from the song “Hurt”, I prefer Johnny Cash’s version (obviously). Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader tries to distract herself, trying to stop missing Edward, but maybe she shouldn’t have been as reckless. 

Warnings: reader passes out, slight panic attack

I hurt myself today To see if I still feel

“Please just promise me you won’t do anything reckless”, his words would haunt her at night as she’d lay in her bed, hands interlaced, eyes dancing along her ceiling, thinking back to all those days she had with him. It should have gotten easier, shouldn’t it?

But still, even weeks after Edward had turned his back on (y/n) and the town of Forks, her heart was still calling for him. Sometimes she’d let her mind wander back to that day, “we’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when, but we’ll meet again”, by now (y/n) wasn’t quite sure if he truly had spoken those words to her.

Perhaps she should have listened to her herself, should have pushed the name Edward Cullen to the far back of her head, storing him and all the memories that came with him away, but that’s not how it works, at least not for (y/n). Slowly she began to explore her more careless, wilder side, clinging to Jacob, trying all the things he’d do on a daily basis to pass his time.

Riding a motorcycle? Definitely not as scary as she thought it would be.

Jumping cliffs? A whole new experience for her, the boys looked so carefree as they pushed themselves off the edge, body crashing into the water, swallowed by the salty waves, she had to try it, at least once.

Everyone I know goes away In the end

Wind was blowing through her hair, chilly air engulfed her, making her doubt her bravery for a moment or two, maybe she shouldn’t do it, maybe she should make her way back home. But the small, nagging voice in the back of her head told her to do it, anything to keep herself from spending too much time with missing him.

And so (y/n) made the first step, deeply inhaling, “it’s okay”, she mumbled, hands balled into fists, not hearing the car approach, the squealing of its wheels, the booming voice that called her name. Her scream rang in his ears, eyes watching her disappear from the cliff, drowning in the ocean, getting pulled under by another wave.

Edward didn’t think twice, he followed her right down the cliff, body piercing through the surface, arms slung around her waist, swimming towards the shore. “(Y/n)”, he patted her cheek, she had her eyes closed, lips quivering, she was freezing, rapidly going into shock. He didn’t let go of her, rocking her body in his arms, he couldn’t move her, had to wait till she was awake, afterwards he’d take her to Carlisle, let the doctor do his job.

She rolled from his arms, hiccuping, spitting the salty ocean water onto the stonebeach, chest quaking, struggling to properly breathe. “Finally”, his faint voice made her shudder, eyes finding his golden ones, carrying all his sorrow and sadness. (Y/n) reached for his hand, not quite sure if she was only imagining things, he had left her weeks ago, months even, he couldn’t truly be by her side right now.

Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair Beneath the stains of time The feelings disappear

“Edward?”, she wrapped her arms around her shivering self, eyes not letting go of his, “what are you doing here?”. He clenched his jaw, rising onto his feet, “clearly saving you from drowning”, she shamefully averted her eyes, visibly gulping, “I’m sorry”, guilt was crashing upon her, nestling in her heart, forming a lump in her throat. Edward grasped her shoulder, thumb running along her skin, “why would you ever do something this stupid?”, he pulled her off the beach, towards the black volvo she had sat in too many times to count.

(Y/n) didn’t truly have an answer to his question, why would she ever jump off a cliff anyways? Because she was thirsting for the adrenaline? Because she desperately needed to distract herself from his disappearing? How pathetic.

“I don’t know”, she whimpered, eyes focused on the windows, watching the scenery pass by, tears blurring her vision, god, her heart was racing, unable to cope with his returning.

His mind wandered back to the day before, how Alice had clutched his forearm, eyes wide, pupils dilated, mumbling a few incoherent words. “What did you just say?”, Edward pressed on, wondering if he had only imagined her name rolling off Alice’s lips, “she’ll die”, it felt as if all air got knocked out of his lungs, hands tightening their grip on her small frame. “She’ll jump off a cliff, you can’t save her Edward”, Edward had instantly left his family behind, if there was even a slight chance to save her, he’d move heaven and earth to be there in time.

“Come on, Carlisle is waiting for us”, his family couldn’t let him go on his own, following Edward down to Forks, preparing themselves to deal with their loss. Edward wouldn’t let her walk, arms wrapped around her middle, carrying her upstairs, mumbling a small “thank you” as Carlisle opened the door for him.

The doctor squeezed her hand, grateful that she was still very much alive and breathing, his dead heart felt heavy as a few hot tears spilled from her eyes, making their way down her cheeks, “I’m drowning and there’s no way to save me”.

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 89 - Twice as Bright

Jon: Right. But no more abattoir metaphors, please. Jude: Suppose it’s not really me, is it?

Yeah, too Fleshy.

Jon: I just have a few questions. Did you burn down a section of Gwydir Forest last year? Jude: Not alone, but yes. You should have seen how devastated they were, such a loss. Jon: I’m sure the Forestry Commission were mortified. Why? Jude: Stop that! And it was because Nikola Orsinov asked us to.

Jon doesn't even know what he's doing and Jude is getting all bristly, like a scared cat hissing.

Jon: I just… er, you were a friend of Agnes Montague, correct? Jude: She’s not one of your little stories. Jon: According to the statement of Jack Barnabas, she very much is.

Anyone going to throw things at me if I say "Oooh, burn!" in this context? Because, this is very much an Ooooh burn sort of situation.

Jon: Yes, yes, I understand, you could easily kill me, I’m at your mercy, blah, blah, blah. I have heard it before. And from things much scarier than you.

Jeez, Jon, where's all THIS coming from all of the sudden? Man, I wish I ever went from 'exhaustedly done with the world's shit' to 'I'm giving the world its shit right back!' like that!

Jude: Are you trying to talk me into killing you? If I wanted, I could reach through your chest like runny wax, and hold your heart while it cooked. No-one would even notice, if I didn’t give you time to scream.

Oh god, I love Jude. Every other avatar we've met is all quiet menace until they go full-monster and even then they're just 'JooOoon, coming to fiiiiind youuuu'. And here's Jude just CHEWING the goddamn scenery with relish, cutting things asunder with her edge. I've said this multiple times to people while discussing TMA but Jude is just basically the navy seal copypasta of avatardom and I'm enjoying her so much right now!

Jude: Hard to say. When I look at you I feel that burning liquid pain, eager to flow out and purify your rotten carcass, but I feel that a lot. Jon: Oh. M-More or less than normal? Jude: Hard to say when every nerve ending’s on fire. Hard to tell degrees. Jon: Third degree, maybe?

I cannot tell you which of the two I want to squeal at more right now. I adore this entire dialogue so much.

Jude: Oh please, your god is nothing! The Eye, Beholding, Ceaseless Watcher, whatever you call it, that’s all it does, it watches and knows, sitting bulbous and comfortable in the ignorance of infinite knowledge. I serve a reckoning, a surging tide of destruction and pain.

Okay, but you still react like a cat that's been sprayed with water whenever Jon asks you a question, Jude, love, you're not fooling anyone...

Jude: The unfathomable contest of eternal forces is not the only reason I might want someone dead.

This is important right here. Obviously the idea that avatars are still their own people, regardless of the Entity they serve, became really obvious somewhere along the line, but at this point in my first go I was still basically thinking in terms of "Hm, well, this power and that power interact in this way... wait, that makes no sense..." and sort of discounting that it's not always ABOUT the powers, despite how obvious that was!

Jon: Statement of Jude Perry, regarding… some advice.

Jon just vacillates wildly between fear and being so DONE with Jude's bullshit and I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Jude: The pain is sensational. You feel your flesh cooking, your nerves screaming out as they die exquisitely. Your whole body changes texture as you become that which feeds the fire. In that agonising, beautiful transformation, you can feel it ignite again and again and again.

Okay, now she's just making self-immolation sound tempting...

It was Agnes, of course. I don’t know where she found me, I only remember sitting in a booth with a beautiful young woman who smelled like matches and incense.

Well, someone's certainly smitten...

And with each act of glorious, hateful destruction, I felt my god’s love embrace me, consume me, give me life. Any feelings of pity or mercy I might have had for the poor woman I fed from were cauterised.

Ah, come on, like they existed to need cauterising in the first place...

And so I ended it. For all the agony and pain on Gretchen’s face, she didn’t seem surprised when I doused myself in kerosene and set it alight. I think she screamed. She must have screamed.

Tbh, Gretchen may have been traumatised for life but Jude seems to have lost interest in her after, so that was probably fucking lucky for poor Gretchen here.

Jon: Michael? (...) Corridors, weird limbs, laughs like a… headache? Jude: What? No. He’s pale, got a big, weird scar. Smells of, um… Jon: Oh, ozone! Jude: Yeah, that’s the one. Hangs around with the Fairchilds sometimes.

I love that the podcast is lampshading the fact that they've got two recurring characters named Michael (AND one Mikaele on top but at least he's usually referred to by his last name). I wonder at what point Johnny went "Whoops, I may have created a confusion." (I mean, not that it's unrealistic, my UK friend group-and-adjacent-people had enough Andrews, Johns and Matts that they basically all ended up with weird nicknames but it's just a bad idea to have identical names in fiction.)

Jude: Come on. It won’t hurt. (...) I lied. Jon: - SCREAMING IN INCREASING AGONY -

I mean, first of all, duh, yeah, OF COURSE SHE LIED! But also, Johnny is not a bad actor. The scream reminded me a little of that one time that my partner managed to scald a hand with boiling water while making tea (one of the worst sounds I've ever heard, incidentally, would like to not hear that again.)

My impression of this episode

First of all, I adore Jude. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean I'd be friends with her (I mean, duh, she was despicable as a human being and is now a fully devoted servant of the Entity-of-torment-and-loss, having near-orgasms over the idea of making people suffer, so...) but as a character she's just so beautifully over the top! It's fun! And Jon's interaction with her is incredibly interesting because, well, this may be the first time that Jon meets anything Entity-adjacent that is actually afraid of HIM (and yeah, Jude may be putting on a tough act, but she seems fucking terrified.) That was just really fun to watch, to be honest. A little bit of ... vicarious power fantasy, perhaps, at least until Jude turns the tables again. This was just a really enjoyable episode!

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse April Fools Special: Donald’s Pumbaa Prank (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome to my April Fool’s Special! And it’s also my patreon review for the month as Kev just so happened to randomly hit this one and once I realized it was an april fools episode I moved it up since things have been kinda hectic in the old brainpan lately, and as such my output slowed down a bit so I really wasn’t in great shape to do 4 episodes in one day. So instead see what hyjinks, fart jokes and murders of beloved disney characters insue under the cut as the hosue of mouse gets a bit foolish

The Wraparound:

It’s April Fools day at the House of Mouse and Donald pulls a prank on MIckey by cutting his break lines.. wait no that was last year. No this year he just puts some wax on the stage and MIckey trips, Donald laughs. Now if this were the real world this would be really dangerous and probably destroy their friendship and MIckey’s spine. But this is a cartoon that runs on cartoon physics. He was in no real danger. So Mickey’s retaliation on the other hand.. is just showing embarassing footage of Donald. It makes him come off as unecessarily cruel as instead of an actual prank or joke it’s just “Hey look at this embarassing footage of my friend I dug up”

This plot DOES get a lot bettter though after the setup: Pete talks Donald into kidnapping Pumba, planning to use Pumbas farts to clear out the club...

Yeah i’m not big on fart jokes. I’m not against them, when used right they can be comedy gold.. this song from bobs burgers is one such example

It’s just a lot of times farts and other bodily functions are used as the joke alone. That’s it. There’s no actual laughs or content too said laughs, i’ts jsut this is gross.  Thankfully this episode does not go really deep down the grossdout rabit hole, as we don’t see the fart on screen.. but it still dosen’t make “Pumbas’ ass gas is going to destroy the house of mouse” funny. 

There are some funny gags though: Donald’s method of distracting Timon so Pete can kidnap Pumbaa is to just stand there not saying anything and weirding Timon out , their replacement is just a bowling ball, two horns and a sack of something, and when Timon goes looking for Pumbaa, finds Zazu under a plate the hyena’s have.. and then just leaves him there. Seriously Timon just.. let’s Zazu die and I am here for it. 

Donald meanwhile thinks Mickey is planning another prank after mickey apologizes and has a special thing planned but it’s really jsut a lifetime achivment award, so Donald tries to stop it, then reveals the truth when Pumba shows up.. and gets his award taken away. Even though he had every reason to think Mickey was going to pull something because honest as he is i’ts april fools day. Mickey just... obnoxious in this one and it speaks to a larger problem with the series I remember from when I was a kid that i’ve noticed once or twice now: The show tends to have Squidward Syndrome, i.e. it treats Donald who can be obnoxious as wrong.. even when he’s done nothing wrong THIS EPISODE, like spongebob did to squidward at times, or if he has done something wrong his punishment is dispororitante. Donald did a minor prank.. and MIckey publicly humiliated him and Donald TREID to stop his prank. And goes above and behond to stop it, taking the fart attack at ground zero. Speaking of which the fart attack scene from parks and rec, also a good fart joke. 

And MIckey.. learns nothing by playing the test footage again even though Donald was just ground zero at an attomic level ass.

Final Thoughts for the Wraparound: It’s not great. I”m noticing that trend with Season 1 in general, where they really just didn’t have a ton of idea of what to do with the wraparounds. The episodes still vary in quality, but outside of the pilot most of the season 1 episodes are pretty disapointing as an adult, very simplistic plots that often don’t use the club’s nature to their full advantage or the characters to the same. It would get better though, but it’s something to notice. onto the shorts. 

The Friend for Life: This is a pretty simple one. Sam and Max, are after the mad Thesipian, whose exactly what he sounds like. We even get a really neat visual gag as sam just.. uses his little buddy as a sword while the Thespian uses a candelabra. But while our Freelance Police catch the weirdo, and Max takes a ride in the saftey tramp they set up for the guy, he escapes when the two are distracted by Norm, THE FRIEND FOR LIFEEEEEEEE. An obessive fanboy played by Patrick Mackenna of the Red Green Show, esentially playing an older and stalkery version of Harold.. now I think about it this might be his dad. I mean we don’t know where he went or what hapepend to the guy. Maybe he just went to the states to obesss over a rabbit and Dog. I don’t know. 

Lorne wants to help our heroes while Max understandably wants to run him over and sam just runs past him the minute they can. But despite finding the thespians layer  Max: (Singsong) We’re here to arressttt youuu Sam: (Also singsong): Rememberrrrr.. crimesss against humanitty? But it turns out Lorne, THE FRIEEEND FOR LIFFFEEEE, kidnapped him and puts on a show for htem of fighting thier old eneimies and a roller coaster death trap. Our heroes escape and begrudignly thank lorne even if they find his stalker shrine a bit much. 

Final Thoughts for The Friend For LIfe: A really solid episode and the fact i’ve binged several sam and max episodes since then really speaks to how good this one was. Seriously really funny stuff and I didn’t even cover half the great jokes in this one. Check it out, it’s on youtube. 

Mickey’s April Fools: An odd one but a fun one. MIckey is taking his asshole pills and goes overboard with his pranks, faking proposing to Minnie and faking his death after Mortimer pranks him. But it works... I mean is it grossly out of character? Oh god yes. Would it have made more sense by swapping out Mickey, Minnie and Mortimer with Donald, Daisy and either the boys or pete? Entirely. Is this short still hilarous. Yup. While i’ts not the best they’ve done on the show, it’s still really entertaining. The two end up getting him back, MOrtimer by faking a will reading only to have it go really poorly for Mickey as his death was reported, donald refuses to help due to Mickey’s last words to mortimer being “I’ve never undestood him” and Goofy being.. goofy. And MIckey is left hanging from a pole by minnie because fuck him. An out of character one.. but the sheer oddity of mickey being this dickish in the house of mouse shorts makes it work.  Be A Man: As a debut album for Randy Savage this Album is audotirally fucktacular, and with some polish randy could’ve had a long and successful rap career. As it stands, it is a sad one off not ein his career. 

Critters: On an asteroid prison, a group of dangerous aliens known as Krites are set to be transported to another station. The Krites engineer an escape and hijack a ship, prompting the warden to hire two shape-changing bounty hunters to pursue them to Earth. Studying life on Earth via various satellite television transmissions, the first bounty hunter assumes the form of rock star Johnny Steele, while the second remains undecided, thus retaining his blank, featureless head. On a rural Kansas farm, the Brown family sits down to breakfast. Father Jay and mother Helen send teenage daughter April and younger son Brad off to school while waiting on mechanic Charlie McFadden. A former baseball pitcher, Charlie has become the town drunk and crackpot, with claims of alien abductions foretold by messages through his fillings.

Playing with overly potent self-made fireworks and Charlie's slingshot, Brad takes the blame when Charlie accidentally shoots April and is grounded as a result. On the roof that evening, Brad mistakes the Critters' crashing spaceship for a meteorite; Jay and Brad investigate and interrupt the creatures consuming a cow. The creatures thereafter kill and feed on a local police officer, and later besiege the farm and cut its electrical connection. While checking the circuit breaker, Jay is attacked by one of the Critters and, being severely wounded, just barely manages to escape

.In the barn, April is about to have sex with her boyfriend Steve when he is killed by the one of the Critters; the creature itself is slain when it devours one of Brad's lit firecrackers. The remaining Critters sabotage the Browns' and Steve's cars, forcing the Browns to hole up inside the main house. Meanwhile, the two bounty hunters search the town for the Critters, causing a panic at the church and bowling alley, with the second hunter assuming the form of various townspeople, including Charlie. Brad escapes the farm to get help and runs into the bounty hunters, and upon learning of their true nature and intentions, he leads them to the Critters' location.

The last surviving Critters kidnap April and return to their ship when the bounty hunters arrive, and attempt to flee. Charlie and Brad manage to rescue April, but Brad drops a large firecracker he intended to use to destroy the ship when the Critters discover their escape. Just as the Critters take off and destroy the farmhouse out of spite, Charlie throws a Molotov cocktail made from his whiskey bottle into the ship, causing a fire which detonates the cracker and kills the Critters. The bounty hunters leave in their ship after giving Brad a handheld device to contact them in case of future invasion, and also restore the house. Unbeknownst to them, Critter eggs can be seen in the barn inside a chicken's nest that seem to be ready to hatch.

Final Thoughts on Critters: Critters is a wonderful film, despite what Rapheal from the teenage mutant ninja turtles might think but fuck him he has scabies. It’s fun, energetic, and ahs a great premise of instead of it JUST being on our heroes to repel the invaders, their caught between two diffrent sets of aliens instead and instead of a chisled jawed heroes the good aliens are simply bounty hunters with no care about collateral and only doing a job. It’s a damn fine film and I still need to make time to watch the sequel. 

Donald’s River Thing:

This is a simple one. Donald plans to go fishing, finds out it’s his and Daisy’s anniversary, her half birthday and valentine’s day and has to take her along and make it like a thing while being a dick about wanting to still fish, but in a very funny way while the local fish fight back. This is easily the standout of the episode incredibly funny, increidbly wholesome, and an incredibly good time. Really great stuff. 

Invincible Episodes 1-3:

This seires is fucking fantastic and you should go watch it. GO WATCH IT. 

Final Thoughts overall: 

YOUR NOT WATCHING IT

Final Thoughts Overall: This is a decent episode not much to say except HIT IT BOYS

[booksonablog]

Johnny Lawrence Imagine - Part 2

Author’s Note: Hi! Real quick, this can easily be read as a separate imagine but some sweet people wanted a part 2 and I had a fun idea like this in mind so here it is! Enjoy! 💕 (P.S. - I like to add gifs to my imagines for visuals and I couldn’t find ones I really wanted, so I made them for you guys!)

Summary: Johnny, your friend and crush has been checking up on you almost nightly since you sprained your ankle, but he suddenly stops, leaving you to wonder why, which leads to a sweet surpise at the end.

Your sprained ankle was probably one of the best things to happen to Johnny. He used your injury as an excuse to visit you more and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it. You’ve been taking on less hours at work temporarily, as well as putting your painting project on hold for awhile till you’ve healed. Though you had books, Netflix and some smaller projects to keep yourself busy, you felt bored at home. Johnny’s visits were not only a distraction from your pain but it excited you to have your friend, and crush, go out of his way to make sure you were okay.

At first, his visits, if you can even call them visits, were short. The first time he knocked on your door was a surpise. It was late, he had just left the dojo and went straight to your apartment. 

“Hey.” You grinned, opening the door to see Johnny twisting his keys in his hands.

“Hey Y/n,” he smiled, “Just wanted to see how you were doing.” His fingers gesturing to your foot.

You looked down, leaning on your other foot. “Oh, better actually, still kinda wobbly sometimes but good.” 

He nodded. 

“Just came from the dojo?”

“Yeah, practiced some flying elbows today, the kids are learning fast.” he smiled

“Any bloody noses today?” You giggled

“Just one this time.” He chuckled.

The two of you smiled at eachother before he glanced back down at his feet and back at you to wish you a goodnight. The following nights were just about the same or even shorter if you happened to be on the balcony when he passed by - he would wave and ask how you were. One night he surprised you with your favorite ice cream. You were surpised not only by the gesture but that he had remembered it from a conversation the two of you had several months back.

You opened the door to see him in his red and white plaid shirt holding your favoite ice cream in one hand and a grocery bag in the other.

“Hey.” You beamed

“Hey, I thought you could use a treat.” He smiled, holding up the ice cream.

“Oh my god, thank you! That’s so sweet.” He looked down with a smile and rosy cheeks.You grinned with butterflies racing in your stomach as you grabbed the ice cream. 

“I could use some help digging into this...if you’re not busy.” Your invitation surprised both you and him. The two of you had known eachother for several months already but whenever you saw eachother or hungout, it was outside of the apartment complex, or outside of your door.

“Yeah, love to.” He spoke eagerly trying to contain his jittery grin.

***

Several hours later, now 3:00am, the ice cream was halfway finished and the two of you were laughing at a story of his. You swiped tears from the corners of your eyes. 

“Ah man,” His chuckle faded as he shook his head. “Good times.” he smiled to himself.

You chuckled, smiling at him. You scanned his face. He seemed to really miss the old days, you couldn’t blame him, everything is so different now. The two of you had eventually realized the time, in shock that you had been conversing for so long. You had thanked him again for the ice cream before the two of you said goodnight and parted ways. The following days remained the same, minus the ice cream.

***

A week or so had passed since Johnny’s last visit. You had to admit, you felt disappointed. Maybe you’ve grown too accustomed to seeing him frequently, but you couldn’t help but enjoy his company. You had learned so much more about each other on a general and deeper level. You shared so many laughs, it was fun...what the hell happened. Maybe you got awkward a few times, you couldn’t help it, you were friends but he was ultimately still your crush. 

You dismissed these overthinking thoughts as best you could. You hated to dwell on nonsense, it didn’t solve anything. At the end of the day, you were both busy with other things, you’ll see eachother when you see eachother.

***

Little did you know, Johnny had spent the week going on failed dates. He had been so wrapped up in Cobra Kai, Miyagi Do, his personal life and his feelings for you, he didn’t know how to balance it all. Eventually, the dojo drama died down, at least for a couple days. His student, Miguel, had suggested he try out some dating apps. He wasn’t keen on the idea for two reasons, he hates technology and he still had a huge crush on you. However, the puppy dog look struck a cord with Miguel, though he would never admit it, and he gave in. He figured it would be a fun way to hangout with the kid and maybe even find some hot babes along the way.

***

Date after date, Johnny struck out every time. He was convinced he was not the problem until he held a conversation with Miguel about how terrible the dates were going, soon realizing that maybe he was “occasionally” an idiot.  

“Sensai, maybe you guys just aren’t compatible.”

Johnny’s eyes met the kid’s sincere ones.

“I know these hot babes are - hot, but you should look for someone that not only likes the same things you do, but that balances you and makes you feel good about yourself.”

Johnny had nodded at the kids words. The boy went on to talk about his ex but Johnny had long tuned out. He patted the kid on the back and thanked him before heading out the door and leaving the boy in his living room.

*** 

His knuckles met your door twice and were placed back in his pockets. He had the only smirk plastered on his face as he waited for you. He looked up when he heard the creak of your door.

“Oh, hey.” You said, surpised but pleased. 

“Hey.” He smiled stupidly. The nerves in his hands started to spark his realization of how nervous he was to just see your face. He forgot how it felt to have a crush.

“What’s up?” You asked, confused.

‘Shit!’ He thought. It had just hit him - he was so damn giddy that he didn’t even prepare anything to say.

“Um, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I hadn’t seen you in awhile - I missed your company.” He gulped, trying to play it cool as his heart increasingly sped.

You blushed, smiling at his honesty. “I still have some ice cream leftover,” you pushed the door so it would open more. “Finish it with me?” 

He smiled with that classic Lawrence smirk.

***

The two of you had spent the last 20 mintues digging into the ice cream, flirting with your eyes and making conversation about how each other’s weeks have been. You felt bold, bubbly and happy that he came to see you again. He felt just as excited and nervous. Once your conversation started to die down, he was back to staring at you with flirty eyes as he spooned the ice cream back in his mouth. You did the same, but broke eye contact when you felt the heat from your face start to rise. 

“So,” He started, swallowing his last bit of ice cream, licking his lips before speaking again. You watched, awaiting his words patiently as you twirled the spoon on the empty ice cream tub. 

“I was hanging out with Miguel today,” you smiled at the mention of the boy’s name, he was a sweet kid and you knew he meant a lot to Johnny. “And he said something that kinda stuck with me.” He met your eyes again. 

You raised an eyebrow in response, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” His left index finger tapped the spoon sitting in his right hand. He hesitated before continuing on. ‘Don’t be a little bitch.’ he told himself.

“We were talking about - life - and he said, when finding someone to be with,” his eyes met yours once more, “you should be with someone that can balance you. Someone that makes you feel good about yourself.”

Your breath hitched. The way he looked at you when he spoke, you didn’t want to be disappointed, but you were sure this was the moment you’ve been hoping for.

“We’ve known eachother for a few months now,” He continued, lightly chuckling nervously to himself as he fiddled with the spoon. “But I want to get to know you more,” he looked up at you, his face was serious as if to convince you of how truthful each following word was. “Because what I know already is so wonderful.” The two of you stared at eachother. He watched as you smiled at the ground, cheeks pink and hair being tucked behind your ear. He smiled at your cute reaction to his words. Your eyes met his again. He watched as a small smile appeared on your soft face and he couldn’t help but feel a sense of elation fill his body. 

Hope you guys enjoyed this one (plus the gifs I made - I’m very happy with them - my first time making gifs!!) Requests are open probably gonna write more of Johnny💕

Tags: 

@lulu-yuming​ @italyhappiness​ @marichankitty​

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

On Days Like This (Part 3)

Carwood Lipton x Reader

Summary: ooh girl we got a spicy filler chapter IN THIS BITCH.

Carwood had woken up before you the morning after you’d made love with him with a stupid grin on his face and an excited flutter in his heart.

If the blissful soreness in his sated body didn’t serve as confirmation enough that last night had indeed happened, the soft weight of your bare thigh over his provided more than enough evidence of the contrary.

Your nude body was a sight to behold, the beginnings of bruises from his biting kisses across her chest had just begun to blossom in the dim light coming in from the streetlight outside of the hotel room window. He hadn’t realized he’d made them at the time, too lost in the taste of your skin and  the rolls of your hips.

The sweet way you sighed his name, lips trembling so beautifully he felt he had no choice but to give you anything and everything that you were begging for….

Carefully, not wanting to wake you just yet, Lip rolled onto his side so he could prop himself up on his elbow and admire your peaceful expression.

You obviously had not grown up being told how beautiful you were- it was obvious in the way your face would turn bright pink and you’d turn away whenever he informed you of how lovely he found you, how brave and smart you were. How lucky he was to know you.

How lucky he felt to have been deemed worthy of your affection.

You’d only recently stopped smacking him in the arm whenever he tried to compliment you, and he considered it a victory the first time you simply pulled a face and thanked him without argument.

You’re entirely biased but thank you Lip, that’s very sweet of you to say. Now stop looking at me like that, we’re at work….

He liked the way you said his name- any of his names, really. Lip, Car, Carwood, Sgnt Lipton, Sir—

Thinking of your lips wrapping around the word Sir had his cock twitching instantly, and he had to consciously make an effort to put that thought aside in order to continue enjoying his rare opportunity to observe you at complete peace.

It wasn’t just sex, it hadn’t been sex at all until last night.

It had just….been, he supposed. 

From the moment the two of you had met, he’d just felt like something about you fit. One day you hadn’t been there and then one day you were and suddenly he couldn’t imagine a day going by without seeing you at least once. You were easy to like, friendly and bright and could tinker just about anything back to life with little more than some elbow grease and a few strategically placed wires.

Even if he wasn’t in love with you, he knew he’d be in awe of you.

But he was in love with you- and even though he knew that the two of you needed to talk about how you were going to make this work, he couldn’t bring himself to worry about that right now.

Not with you nestled beside him, sex mussed and at complete ease.

Yeah, that conversation could wait. 

As lightly as he could, Carwood brings his free hand up and brushes his fingertips across the pink splotches he’d left up your sternum, a sigh of wonder escaping his lips as he watches the wave of goosebumps following his touch like a wave washing up some pristine shoreline.

Following the path of your collarbone he traced the lines of your shoulders, your neck.

Each freckle, acne scar, and knick of old injury he encountered was given attention and committed to memory- learning the bare skin of your upper body like some precious map. 

He wasn’t sure if you would be as stupidly pleased as he seemed to be upon waking up, so he decided to be selfish and enjoy each moment with you that he could.

Just in case.

As his thumbnail trails the underside of your breast you suddenly take a deep breath, brow wrinkling as you begin to stir.

Guilt instantly fills him. He hadn’t meant to wake you up— the sun still hadn’t even yet begun to light up the balmy sky outside.

But when you did open your eyes you only furrowed your brow for a few moments until he watched the tell-tale ache of your lower half register on your face and you smirk.

Sliding your sleepy gaze to him, you bring a hand up to rest on the side of his neck.

“Hey,” you grumble, your voice thick and warm. Lip brings his hand up to rest over yours, taking your hand in his and bringing it to his lips to press kisses on your knuckles.

“Hi.”

Closing your eyes again, you arch your back up off of the bed and Lip can hear the satisfying pop of some of your tense joints. His eyes find themselves locked onto the rise of your breasts at the action, and when you catch him staring you lightly flick his nose.

“Pervert.” You chide, smiling as he scowls and turning to nuzzle your face into the warm spot between his neck and shoulder. “Not even trying to be subtle—”

“Sorry, ma’am.” he says, unable to keep the smile out of his voice when you throw your leg over his hip and push him so he’s now laying on his back. He pulls you with him so you’re lying half atop him, and like with most things between the two of you he found himself at ease once more.

“Can’t help it if you make me forget my manners—”

“Oooh, smooth.” you praise with a quiet chuckle, breath tickling his earlobe. “Well done, Sir”

There was that title again- Sir.

You must've felt the shift in him, because suddenly you’re straddling his lap and looking down on him with a wicked grin.

“Clifford Carwood Lipton,” you admonish with an expression of faux-severity, sliding your hands up his chest appreciatively. “I’m surprised at you—”

“I’m amazed by you.” he says sincerely, catching the way your brows shoot up in surprise for just a moment before you regain control.

He watches as you narrow your eyes at him playfully, letting that wicked smirk paint your face once more.

“You’ve already slept with me, Car. There’s no need to lay it on so thick.”

He shakes his head, and when he sits up his hands hold your waist to keep you in his lap. 

Your smirk is gone, a hesitant look of wanting in your eyes as you take his face gently in your hands.

“If you think I’m going to stop telling you how much I care about you because I've made love to you, you;ve got another thing coming.”

You blush at that, going even redder at the phrase ‘making love’.

“I know that you’re just being sincere, but i think it’s important you know I’m not….used to that.”

You’re looking at him with vulnerability in your eyes, and if he wasn’t so touched that you were trusting him enough to do so he would’ve kissed you until you forgot every disappointment that had brought you to question his honesty and intentions in the first place.

He nods, and when you don’t say anything else he begins to knead at the muscles at the base of your spine, the comforting motion seeming to refocus you and set you at ease once more.

“I was worried I’d dreamed it.” you admitted, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your chest to his as he pulled you close. “Last night, i mean—”

He can’t stop the pride from swelling in his chest when you say that, and he must’ve shown it on his face because you laugh and duck a kiss to his lips.

Your lips feel colder now.

“How are you real?” you ask when you pull back a bit. Carwood opens his mouth to ask you the same thing when his words die in his throat.

He could’ve sworn you hadn’t fallen asleep in a nightgown, that you hadn’t been wearing a nightgown at all when you’d just kissed him.

Your brow furrows, and when you whisper his name again you sound worried.

“What’s wrong?” you asked softly. Lip said nothing, shaking his head as he saw that the hem of your nightgown was torn and dirty. 

In horror, Lip watched as the white shift you wore aged to a dingy grey before his eyes, your face becoming sunken and bruised as you looked at him with concern in your bloodshot eyes.

“Lip, why are you looking at me like that?”

Your hands are ice cold when they come up to hold his face, and when he flinches you frown and blink at him slowly.

“Y/N,” he began, his voice dying in his throat as the walls of the hotel room fell away and he saw that they weren’t in Georgia at all. “You’re too cold, you’re going to get sick…”

You laughed at that, a cough corrupting the happy sound and robbing you of your breath.

“Oh, darling,” you say once you’ve recovered from your coughing fit. “You’re the one who is sick.”

You’re right, he thinks as the ache in his chest slowly returns. You’re always right.

“I don;t want to lose you.” he whispers, your figure becoming less and less solid with each teary blink of his eyes. He clutches at your dirty shift and squeezes you as tightly to him as he can, vainly hoping that if he held you tightly enough, he’d wake up with you in his arms.

Your limbs wrap around him, and when you kiss his cheek he cries harder.

“That’s good to hear, Lip. Cause I don’t want to be lost.”

He knows he has to wake up now, already becoming aware of the rawness of his throat from all of the coughing he’d done. 

Just a few minutes more, just a little bit longer….

When Lip opens his eyes, he’s still in the truck driving towards town, having fallen asleep in the back next to Bull and Johnny Martin under a communal pile of blankets.

“Got a ways to go yet, Sarge.” he hears George Luz say from somewhere to his left. “Might as well try to catch some more shut eye….”

Lipton doesn’t need to be told twice, instantly burrowing deeper into his coat and squeezing his eyes shut.

If he was lucky, he could still catch you before you left his mind completely. 

And this time he wasn’t going to let you go.

(Hello Hi, I meant to just write this for me/to draw inspo from for future things but I kinda loved it more than I intended to so here you go.)x

[mistymark]

VIGILANTE/S V

part five // 4.0k words // superpowered!au // (sort of) gang!au // series masterlist

summary; in which you consider yourself somewhat of a vigilante.

warnings; swearing, mentions of death, weapons and killing, gang shit really

notes; this is just a filler bc the whole thing ended up being way too long but !! hope u like anyway <33

One week into living in the warehouse, you’ve got your own routine. You know what times to avoid the bathrooms, you know not to eat Chenle’s cereal – a tip from Donghyuck, who informed you that Chenle once set him on fire for doing just that – you know that Jaemin is the only one who cooks breakfast, and most of the meals eaten in the warehouse are from local takeout stores with shifty delivery guys. You know that 15 pizzas are ordered for one meal – because Jaemin eats at least 5 of them.

“My metabolism is crazy,” he explains to you on your third day there. “I’ll be hungry again in, like, 2 hours.” Mark had laughed and said that was normal for anyone here.

Donghyuck had whispered to you, “Jaemin carries around jellybeans all the time for his blood sugar. If you want to piss him off, call him Jelly Baby.”

You know that every time Jaemin is given an assignment, he brings a girl back to the warehouse, something you’d discovered when you saw Jeno sleeping on the couch in the main room the next day. You know the boy named Renjun doesn’t train, and hardly leaves his room. You know that Donghyuck sometimes snores in his sleep, now that you’re sharing his room, which actually hasn’t been so bad.

Jaehyun had you move in together the day after you met him, and he’d been really nice about it, moving half of his clothes from his wardrobe so you had space, and boxing up most of his stuff to allow more space for your things. He’d even offered to take down his sketches and drawings so you had some wall space. It was a sweet gesture, but you found his posters interesting, so you told him to keep them up.

Doyoung had gone with you to empty out your apartment – not that it had much in it – and convince your landlord to break your lease. “Your landlord has a very weak mind,” he’d said in a monotonous tone, when he was carrying a box to his car, a flashy black thing that certainly did not belong in your neighbourhood at all. The dilapidated, crumbling buildings surrounding you were brown and dirty, the streets grey and filled with potholes, the people who inhabited the area looking just as worn. Doyoung, on the other hand, was clean and sharp, wearing fitted black jeans and a clean white tee. His shoes were almost as shiny as his car, which made you feel slightly self-conscious when you noticed how much he stood out here.

“He’s pretty much given up on life,” you’d agreed, which earned you a smirk from him. It was true, your landlord was a chubby, pot-bellied man who wore nothing but baggy, ill-fitting jeans and old t-shirts with various food stains on them. You’ve never seen him leave the building, and you often wonder if he knows what a shithole the place is.

“I can’t believe you actually lived here,” he looked up at the building, at the brickwork that was being held together by mould rather than concrete, at the wooden window frames that were rotten and splitting apart, at a window that was recently broken, now being blocked by a curtain taped across the panel – at the place you once called home.

Well, not necessarily. It hadn’t felt like home since your dad had died, if you were being truthful.

“You live in a warehouse with criminals,” you reminded him.

“We live in a warehouse with criminals,” he cracked a smile at you, taking the box from your hands and placing it in the boot of his car.

“At least my roommate only kills himself,” you mumbled on the drive back.

“Donghyuck wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Doyoung laughed. “He’d probably kill himself if a fly started a fight with him, just so he wouldn’t have to fight it and win.”

You watched the buildings go by – Doyoung drove slower than the elderly, you were sure – and all the industrial warehouses with cute, bright signs advertising children’s toys and courier services, wondering how many of them were a front for another operation, like Jaehyun’s. “Do you think Donghyuck can die? For real?”

Doyoung was silent for a moment, then, slowly, he said, “We have our speculations. We can’t know for sure, though. And none of us really want to.” You gave a small smile to him, though he was too focused on the road ahead to see it. When you’d first come to the warehouse, you were sure no one liked him, since no one seemed devastated by the fact that he was dead. Now, you knew he was family to them.

“You have a cassette player?” Donghyuck was supposed to be helping you unload your stuff into your now shared room, but he was mostly just being nosy, going through your boxes and not actually putting anything away.

“Uh, yeah,” you throw a glance over your shoulder, seeing Donghyuck sitting on his bed, rifling through one of your boxes. “It was my dad’s.”

He nods, gently putting it on the bed. He doesn’t ask any questions about it, or your family, which you’re grateful for, but it makes you think he doesn’t have any family of his own.

You know Donghyuck is the most open out of all of the team, but you also know not to ask any personal questions.

You know a lot of things after living in the warehouse for a week. You know that Jaehyun drinks tea in the mornings and coffee at night, that Doyoung cannot access Chenle’s mind. You know that Donghyuck is definitely not a morning person, and that he exclusively wears black, as if he’s always ready for a funeral. Maybe that’s exactly the reason; some kind of sick joke surrounding his immortality.

Most importantly, you now know how to survive Johnny’s training sessions. You’ve trained with most of the team, mostly the Shields – Jeno, Jaemin, Mark and Chenle – as their powers manifest physically, and are easier to control, but Johnny has also been helping you use his ability. “You’re smaller and weaker than the rest of the team, and most Shields in general,” he’d said, eyes roaming your body. It was the first time anyone’s ever looked at you like that without making you feel objectified. “If I’m around, my ability may be the difference in whether you win or lose a fight. Try again, and focus on me.” As if you already weren’t.

He’d hunkered down and gestured for you to begin. With the other members around, you could take Johnny down in less than a minute now. Alone, it took you upwards of 10 minutes.

The day you officially move into the warehouse, you’re exempt from training with the Shields, but Donghyuck takes the opportunity to teach you gunmanship.

“I’ve used a gun before, you know,” you say, but after 10 shots you still haven’t managed to hit the target. The firing range isn’t small, located in the basement of the warehouse, which you didn’t even know existed, but you should have been able to at least hit the target once.

He laughs, picks up the gun and nails the target’s centre 5 times in a row, “So have I. Do you want to be able to actually hit your target, though?” The hole in the centre of the target looks about twice the width of the bullet, made from the bullets hitting basically in the same spot each time.

He puts a hand on your shoulder, adjusting the position of your shoulders, then places one on your lower back, adjusting your posture. You’re stiff, and you know it. He clears his throat and steps back, “Go.”

You brace yourself and shoot, the bullet going straight through the target’s stomach.

“Not too bad,” he nods in approval, holding his hand out for the gun and easily changing the clip in three quick motions. He offers the gun back to you, “Again.”

“You sound like Johnny,” you say when you take it from him. You deepen your voice as low as possible to mimic your trainer and the short, efficient way he speaks, “Again. Stop. Go. Try again. Up.”

Donghyuck lets out a loud laugh that immediately brings a smile to your face. “That was amazing.” He sits down and leans back, a hand pressed against his stomach as he laughs, mimicking your imitation. You join him on the floor, resting your back against the wall and leaning over to grab the bag of potato chips he’d brought down with you. “Have you ever shot someone?”

He reaches over and steals a few chips, as if it was the most normal question in the world. But, there’s a slight shake in his voice when he speaks, “Shot? Yes. Killed? No.”

“Who?” He shoots you a sideways glance and you lower your head, “Sorry.” No personal questions.

The heavy stench of awkward silence settles over you. He breaks it, “Johnny.”

You don’t know what to say except, “Shit.”

“Yeah,” he swallows thickly. “It was an accident. Obviously.”

You’re about to ask what happened when you’re interrupted by someone coming down the stairs. Neither of you had bothered to shut the door to the firing range, giving anyone going up or down the stairs a full view of what you were doing. Jaehyun stops when he sees you both, sitting on the floor of the firing range, sharing a bag of potato chips. He doesn’t look at you, focusing on Donghyuck. He clears his throat, “Are you training, Hyuck?”

Donghyuck’s eyes are wide and innocent when he answers, “Teaching Y/n how to shoot.”

Jaehyun’s eyes move from the two of you to the target and back again, but he doesn’t say anything about the lack of holes in it. “Johnny’s ordering Chinese – if you want anything, let him know. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

He continues and you turn to Donghyuck, “Where’s he going?”

“Garage,” Donghyuck says, through a handful of chips. “Do you want the rest of these?” He offers the bag to you. You shake your head.

“What else is down here?”

“Weapons vault, garage, the range,” he answers distractedly, too focused on getting the last of the flavouring from the bag. “The gym…” his voice trails off.

When he’s satisfied that the bag is indeed empty, he stands up, offering his hand out to you to pull you up, “Jaemin takes ten minutes to pick what he wants to eat, so if you have a preference, we should probably tell Johnny now.”

You take his hand and let him pull you up, reaching for the gun that lays on the ground, “Where-?”

“I’ll take it,” he takes it, quickly turning the safety on and reaches around to his back, tucking the weapon into the back of his black jeans.

Your second day of training was with Chenle, in the gym, which looked more like the inside of an asylum than anything. Everything was clean and a pale, almost-white shade of grey, and the entire ceiling was a cloudy glass panel that illuminated the room, giving the room a bright and energetic yet sterile feel. The equipment was state-of-the-art, a dark contrast to the overall lightness to the room, and floor to ceiling mirrors took up two of the walls. There was a stack of clean towels in the corner, and a few televisions across the room, visible from each machine. A smaller version of the Super fight ring was situated at one end of the long room. Yet, the thing that shocked you the most was the bright blue flooring, an odd design choice.

Chenle was the least helpful out of the Shields in the team, watching you train with his ability, critiquing your control and your movements with a stern eye. “Wrong. Try again. Make it hotter this time, or you’ll do no damage.” As if to gloat, he held a hand up, and a dangerous blue flame engulfed it. Your own flame, a measly bright orange, wavered.

The entire time you’d trained with him, he’d done nothing but glare and criticise you. You were sure he hated you, or maybe it was just the fact that he wasn’t the only one who had his ability anymore.

Yet, as he was leaving to eat, he’d nodded in approval at you, “Good. We’ll train together again soon, I’m sure.” It was the most he’d said to you. Actually, if you added up everything he has said to you, it would still be less words than were in that sentence.

Basically, he hadn’t spoken to you much all week.

Jaemin, however, was the opposite, and the person you’d trained with the day after Chenle. If anything, he was too kind and too understanding - he barely helped you.

“It’s okay if you can’t run as fast as me, yet,” he’d assured you with a smile, his hands on your shoulders. His smile was wide and encouraging, his eyes kind, and you instinctively knew he was a heartbreaker. No one with a smile like that has ever been heartbroken, you’d thought. His flirtatious manner was also a dead giveaway.

Your suspicions were only confirmed when he’d been sent on an assignment at the Den, and entered the kitchen the day after looking a little too happy. A girl had snuck out a few minutes later, looking only slightly embarrassed as she tried to pull her shoes on and find the exit at the same time. Jaemin had just stood in the kitchen and smiled at her as he ate his toast, not even bothering to show her out.

“You’ll have to eat a lot tonight,” he informed you at the end of your training. “And make sure you don’t have any training tomorrow morning, because you’ll be out for a while since this is your first time testing your stamina with my ability.”

He was right; you were exhausted after only two hours with him. When you’d told him just that, his smile widened and he winked at you. You laughed and shook your head at him, throwing your towel at him, “I’m going to shower.” He opened his mouth but you shot him a stern look, “Do not ask to join me.”

His easy-going smile remained on his face as he shrugged nonchalantly, “Worth a shot.” He bent down to pick up his drink bottle and began tidying up the gym as you left.

The person that surprised you the most was Jeno. His ability was easy enough to control, since you could control when you wanted the super strength, but he was happy to train you in preparation for your own training with Johnny.

“I guess it’s easy if you can control when you want to use someone’s ability, since your emotions don’t get in the way,” he’d said, as he wound his fist up with tape and gauze. “But if we’re not around, you need to be able to defend yourself with just your, uh, body.”

You nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“Keep a clear head and be logical. Johnny is the only one that can see what you’re about to do, so unless you’re fighting him, think about what you’re doing.” The intense look is back in his eyes when he looks up from his wrapped hands, checking to see if you’re listening, as you haven’t said anything. You can easily see why the others would hate fighting him – he’s smart and he’s dangerous. “If you don’t think, you’ll… you’ll get hurt.” Something in his voice has changed, but it’s gone when he speaks again, “You’re no use if you’re dead.” You quirk an eyebrow at him and he juts his chin up at you, “Hold out your hand.”

You do as he says and he steps forward and begins wrapping your hand delicately. It’s far neater than you’d expected.

“Were you a boxer?”

He lets out a humourless laugh, “No. I’ve just been in a fair few fights.” You try not to react, but he can see what you’re thinking when he looks up. “Relax, most of them walked away just fine.”

“Most?” He doesn’t respond, and you take the hint that he does not want to talk about it.

He’s actually quite a good trainer, you discover, and teaches you the strongest ways to take someone down. He’s less talkative than Jaemin, but his instructions are clear and easy to follow, and at the end of your session, you’re able to do basic sparring with him.

“It’s 6,” he says, looking up at the wall of the gym. Without even a goodbye, he grabs his drink bottle and gym bag, lightly jogging up the steps to head to his room.

That night, you ate dinner with Mark and Jaemin. Well, you ate while they played video games. Jaemin shared a room with Jeno, but you hadn’t seen him since your training session. Empty pizza boxes were stacked by the door, and you counted at least 5. Your own box was sitting beside you on Jeno’s bed, while Jaemin and Mark sat side by side on Jaemin’s bed, their eyes glued to the TV screen that hung on one wall. Their room was a lot more… normal than you’d expected. Donghyuck’s was a giveaway that he was a Super – or a psychopath, either worked – with the blood and the diagrams and the journals and the weapons stacked in boxes around the room.

Jeno and Jaemin’s room was fitted out with their beds, desks, wardrobes, bean bag chairs, an old gaming console and a flatscreen TV. A few movie posters and celebrities were on the wall, and old photos. Only Jaemin had photos, and even so, there were only a few taped to the wall above his bed’s headboard. You couldn’t make out any details from where you were sitting.

Mark’s reflexes were no match for Jaemin’s, and he lost almost every round, making you wonder why he still agreed to play.

“Hey, should I save some of this for Jeno?” You asked, staring at the pizza still remaining in the box. There were only three left, and part of you wondered if it would even be enough. The other part of you thought it would at least be polite to offer.

“Nah, he won’t be back til tomorrow,” Jaemin doesn’t even turn around in his seat, his eyes frantically following his character as it moves across the screen.

“Huh. Okay,” you pick up another slice just as the game ends and Jaemin turns to throw another wide grin at you.

“That means my room’s free for the night, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He laughs at the look of exasperation on your face.

When his attention is away from you again, you say, “Jaehyun sure keeps you guys busy.” There’s only a little bit of bitterness in your voice; you’d been with the team for four days and the only time you’d left was to sort out your apartment. Apparently, you weren’t ready for any assignments yet.

“Huh? Jaehyun has him on an assignment?” Mark’s confusion gets your attention, as he turns to look at Jaemin with a furrowed brow. This was clearly unusual – or, at least, news to him.

Jaemin barely glances at you as he responds, “Nah, he’s visiting his girlfriend.”

“Jeno has a girlfriend?” You ask, only slightly shocked. It wasn’t like you’d thought about their love lives, but you’d just assumed everyone was single. It went with the job description.

“Yeah,” Jaemin nods. “She lives on the other side of the city somewhere. At one of the colleges. He normally goes after trainings on Fridays, since it’s the only night she’s not studying.”

Even without seeing your face, he can sense your surprise.

“Don’t ask him about it, though. He’s very reserved when it comes to her. Doesn’t want any of us to know much about her. I don’t even know her n-”

Mark laughs when he finally manages to kill Jaemin, and Jaemin pouts and rolls his eyes, insisting he was too focused on you to play. “You’re such a baby,” Mark laughs louder, and Jaemin swats at him. His hand moves so fast you barely even see it hit Mark’s arm. “Ow! Dude!”

“One more game, come on,” Jaemin insists, turning back to the screen. Then he raises his voice, “Anyway, Y/n, he won’t even tell us her name, let alone anything else about her. So don’t bring it up.”

“Or he’ll literally chokeslam you,” Mark adds, which, for some reason, makes them both laugh loudly.

You nod, despite the fact they can’t see you, and go back to eating your pizza, “I’ve got next game!”

Mark sighs in relief, “Gladly.” Jaemin’s competitiveness was beginning to wear him out.

The following day, Mark taught you the basics of shape shifting. He was the latest addition to the team – other than you – and his control was even worse than yours. “Shape shifting is really difficult,” he giggled, nervously. “If you’re not 100% imagining what you want to be, you’ll turn into something way different. But don’t panic, it will restrict your ability to change back.”

Over the course of the day, you’d shifted into birds, mice, elephants, leopards, any creature you could think of. Though, you had humiliated yourself when he went to get snacks during your break, greeting and talking to the large dog that came trotting down the stairs, as if it were Mark.

“What are you doing?” He’d laughed when he walked back into the gym, snacks in hand.

You’d been at a loss for words, your cheeks immediately becoming inflamed. “I- I thought that was you,” you pointed at the dog, which was panting as it sat down on the stack of towels in the corner of the room.

“That’s Bruce, Renjun’s dog,” Mark explained, tossing you a can of iced coffee. “Don’t tell Jaemin you drank his coffee.”

You paused, the opened can raised to your lips. You lowered it, slightly, “Why does Jaemin need coffee if he already operates at like 10 times the speed we do?”

“For after he crashes,” Mark shrugs. “Sometimes speed isn’t everything.” He laughs at his own joke, “If he doesn’t sleep enough, he’ll still be exhausted. Sometimes he can’t afford to sleep more than 12 hours, so he relies on coffee.” He cocks his head to the side as he examines his can.

Later, when you’re sitting on the floor after successfully shapeshifting into cockroaches, you ask, “Have you ever tried turning into other people? Can you do that?”

“Yes, but – I really have to know what the person looks like. Like, I can imagine a dog and turn into a dog because any small details that I remember incorrectly will go unnoticed by a human,” he gulps down his cola. “Humans are more complex – one small detail could make me look totally different to the person I’m trying to copy.”

“Change into me, then,” you sit up straighter. “If you can see me, surely you won’t have to rely on your memory, right?”

He shrugs and locks his eyes onto you. You’d seen him transfer from human to horse, from sheep to frog, but somehow seeing him change from himself to you was more disturbing. His skin ripples and his bones make disturbing popping noises as they change, and you wonder if it hurts, even though you had shape shifted multiple times and knew it didn’t hurt at all.

Within a few seconds, right before your eyes… is you. “Hello,” he says in your voice.

“Okay, fuck that, change back,” you tell him, looking away. “That’s so creepy. Brilliant, but creepy.”

When he laughs, it sounds like him again, and you let your eyes drift back to where was sitting. He smiles, and his eyes crinkle at the corners. His eyes, not your own.

You could have so much fun with this ability, reminding yourself to try it on Donghyuck later.

You tell Mark this as he tosses a piece of popcorn into his mouth, and you both stretch out on the gym floor, laughing at all the pranks you could easily pull on the other members of the team.