#and its weird to be all like that after A Months
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Day 23: Party
Momose x Shirosaki
[Miya & Mia’s Tickletober 2023] - Another niche tktober 2023 fic I'm fishing out of its grave muhahaha. I realize this is actually up there with my fav anime and pairings EVER. I'll go down with this ship!
Word Count: 1.1K
Momose felt moved. Never had he seen such a thing. The office was decorated, a tray of cupcakes was on his desk, music was playing, and everyone in the department welcomed him with applause.
“Happy birthday, Momose,” Shirosaki said, and he and a few colleagues fired confetti at him. They all started singing. Woah!
“Happy birthday!”
Momose blushed and awkwardly wiped the confetti from his head. He then bowed deeply, his hands gripping his pants.
“T-t-thank you very much!” he said, trying hard not to cry. At his previous job, no one had ever done something this considerate for him, let alone his boss.
The only thing was…. Today was actually not his birthday!
He could understand how his goofy boss mixed up the dates and accidentally swapped the day and month numbers.
“Today is your first birthday since you started working here. I wanted to celebrate in style,” Shirosaki explained fondly. Aah, so cute. Momose would rather take this day as his new official birthday than admit to his sweet boss that he got the date wrong.
“Thank you, manager… What about work, though?” Momose tried to say casually as he wiped away a tear from the happy emotion, and he looked around, amazed to see everyone in the office was having fun. People were relaxing, eating cupcakes, chatting, watching MyTube and laughing together. It really was a party, on a plain Monday morning at the Planning and Sales department of Minette.
“We will resume work after lunch. Right now, we will enjoy the surprise party,” Shirosaki said. Momose felt so guilty that everyone was making time for him when it wasn’t even his real birthday, but he couldn’t help but feel happy and honored too, and he thanked Shirosaki again.
“Thank you so much!”
Aoyama suddenly stood by their side and he proudly munched on a cupcake. “You became a fine boss, Shirosaki-kun, even remembering what to do on your employee’s first birthday at the office.”
Shirosaki thanked him with a humble nod. “Section Chief, thank you. You taught me well.”
"But… aren’t you forgetting something?” Aoyama added, looking very suspicious all of a sudden.
Momose cocked his head, but Shirosaki seemed to understand and nodded. “Ah, right.”
To Momose’s surprise, Shirosaki stepped towards him, and Momose’s initial reflex was to flinch - his former boss had been quite the intimidating figure and he wasn’t over it yet.
However, what happened next was anything but scary. More like… weird?!
“Huhuhuh? W-whahahat, mahahanager!” Momose felt embarrassed to suddenly be tickled on his sides, and he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around his middle, dancing awkwardly in response to the random tickles.
“Happy birthday tickles,” Shirosaki announced dryly.
“Whahat? Hehehehe thahat’s s-sohoho suddehehen!” Momose laughed, shaking his head and trying his best not to jump away too fast since Shirosaki seemed so eager to tickle him.
“A-aren’t Manager and Section Chief the only ones upholding this tradition?” a female colleague asked, but Aoyama hissed “Sshh don’t tell him!” while Shirosaki tickled Momose playfully.
Momose couldn’t believe he was getting dragged in a weird little birthday tickle tradition (?) between the two of them, and it surely was a little humiliating to laugh like this in front of everyone.. but Shirosaki looked like he was having so much fun.
And in return, Momose felt a kind of joy he hadn’t felt in a long while. All of his remaining past work trauma was about to disappear with the magic of Shirosaki’s gentle tickles.
“It tihihickles! Hehehe mahaha-manageheher!” Momose giggled, squirming and wiggling as Shirosaki continued to tickle his sides.
Shirosaki nodded. “Yes. It should tickle.” Hehe! So serious!
Other employees slowly distanced themselves from their awkward tickle party, leaving Momose with only Shirosaki, and Section Chief Aoyama who stuck around too.
“A little bit here too,” Aoyama said, suddenly joining in by poking Momose between the ribs. Momose twitched between them and yelped as they both tickled him.
“Hehehe nohoho!” he whined. Both men tickled him a little more, but not too much. Though embarrassed, Momose truly felt happy after genuinely laughing like that, and he caught his breath with a smile on his face.
“This is for you,” Shirosaki finally said, handing him a wrapped gift. “From me,” he added, blushing adorably.
Momose was glad he already had tears from laughter in his eyes, or he would start crying new tears all over again because of how cute his manager was.
“You even got me a gift!” he whined thankfully, and he opened it after Shirosaki’s encouragement.
“Ah - t-this is…” Momose admired the cute keychain with on one side a photo of Hakutou the cute kitty, and on the other side a photo of Momose and Shirosaki together - a photo that was taken of them when they were at the amusement park.
“You can put it on the house key I gave you. Or… on something else, of course,” Shirosaki said with a cute blush.
Momose’s eyed widened, and he could hear the nervous bursts of laughter from some colleagues behind them.
“A family picture?”
“Are they a married couple?”
“That’s right - didn’t he propose to him the other day? They are moving fast!”
“They even named the cat ‘Hakutou’ after themselves!” they gossiped.
Shirosaki blushed when he overheard them just like Momose, but Momose giggled and held the gift with both hands.
“Manager, thank you so much. I love it,” he said with teary eyes. Shirosaki smiled gently.
“I’m glad,” he said, and he walked away. He showed his cute and goofy side when it appeared he didn’t remember where he was walking off to, so he turned around again and returned to Momose’s side.
“Momose? I wanted to ask. If… Well, if you do not have any birthday plans today… You are free to visit Hakutou and me. I have some drinks too, a-and Hakutou will be pleased to meow you happy birthday,” Shirosaki offered shyly.
Momose blushed. So cute! Of course he did not have plans since it was not his birthday, and he nodded.
“I would love that!”
“Great. Also, I apologize,” Shirosaki said. Momose frowned.
“For what?”
“I realized I should have asked you first… if you wanted happy birthday tickles. My boss gave them to me on my first birthday at the office, and it took me by surprise. I ended up doing the same to you.”
Pfft!! Momose threw his head back and laughed. God, he loved it here.
“That’s alright, ahaha!” he laughed.
My abusive boss gave me mental stress and an ulcer, so I switched jobs. My new boss is the goofiest and cutest person I have ever met. He threw me a birthday party on the wrong date, gave me happy birthday tickles, and invited me to his home!
#queue#atarashii joushi wa do tennen#my new boss is goofy#momose x shirosaki#momose#shirosaki#tickling#tickle fic#tickletober#tickletober 2023#otomiya!writes
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aaand here's deadlands! it didnt take seven months this time, who cheered?
i'll probably do another post grouping all of my line-ups together, but that's gonna wait for when i do the wyrdwood PCs as well :] more thorough design thoughts/smaller details will be under the cut, but im putting this here so that everybody has to know: their eye shines are all different card suits, except for nate, who gets J for the joker card :]
oxventurers guild | the hobby horses
unlike my other designs where i let everyone have individual colors/palettes, i tried to keep colors more consistent across these designs! the oxventurers guild has the fantasy element and theyre all very different, so the wide mishmash of colors are fine, and the hobby horses all have a lot of dark colors so that keeps them looking consistent together. but for these guys, i wanted a more consistent feel, so i tried my best to reuse colors between each design (especially between delacy and nate ^-^)
silas - ough. my boy. i wanted him to be broad with a strong build, and i hope i pulled that off :D i had so much trouble with his hat that i almost just didnt give him one, but eventually i decided it was better to just. give up and rock with it, even if he looks a bit like a mountie hbjgfjhd and he is wearing cowboy boots, theyre just tucked into his pants because he doesnt feel the need to flash them (looking at delacy, lol). he has spurs on his boots, even though he doesnt ride horses, because he likes the way they jangle <3
garnet - people really liked it when i gave garnet dark roots, so i have decided to always give her dark roots. i like how it looks hehehe and i also like to give her freckles!!! i think theyre cute!!! for the vest, i struggled for a while trying to capture the vibe of jane's vest, because its so so strange and specific in a way that makes it impossible for me to picture garnet without it. i'm pretty happy with where i landed with it, especially the pattern, since i've never tried to make a pattern like that before :3 i dont know why ive been loving patterns so much lately LOL but i will keep riding this wave and regret it later when drawing the designs again
edie - definitely the furthest departure from canon outfits, though still in the right wheelhouse. i just don't like drawing multiple layers of ruffled skirt. i didn't like how my sketches kept looking. i wanted to give her a skirt slit, especially after my friend reminded me about her thigh rifle holster. so today, i stared at a bunch of victorian ballgowns and party city costumes, and then completely redesigned her skirt before i lined these XD and i think it was worth it!! i love the layers and the way her rifle peeks out, and it meant i could show off more of her boots and give them a pretty design :]
delacy - my main thought going into drawing delacy was just. "i need to malnourish this boy" LMAO i refuse to believe that he is eating properly, i just know that he is not. otherwise, i mostly just stuck to the campaign art but scuffed up his clothes a bit. as implied on silas's notes, i very purposefully had his boots be Big. he's overcompensating a little bit :] also sorry i did not want to draw rooster so he just gets a generic handgun. i didnt feel like drawing complicated guns, and i wanted it to be a smaller handgun so that he could be poorly copying edie :') he has no trigger discipline but neither does edie so its fine
nate - that's just nate, baby!!! i think, canonically, he's meant to be a bit. emaciated. but i cant help but just picture him being a bigger guy, i think it fits his vibe better and its more fun for me to draw that way. i like having variety in body shapes, and garnet and delacy already have the rail thin thing down for this line-up. let my old man be fat !!! also. he has a weird nipple because he is transgender. heart emoji
#oxventure#oxventure deadlands#silas flint#garnet munro#edie valentine#delacy oxventure#nate janssen#'travis you forgot the buttons on a few of the shirts-' SHHH SHHHHHHHHHH DONT LOOK AT THAT IM TIRED#i just wanna move onto wyrdwood im done with these bhjgfhjdbghjd#i am super happy with how this came out though :3#okay time for sleep i have a friend visiting tomorrow and its past my bedtime
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#the way that ive known my boyfriend not even for two whole months and weve been officially together for a month only#but ive already been invited to two weddings and a birthday party#its wild to me#and its also sooooo so nice#bc all his friends are genuinely so happy for him#and everyone ive met so far has been so nice and welcoming and open to me#and like i havent even met the guy who invited me along to the birthday party#also just in general.#life is really really good right now#like i finally feel like im finding some inner peace and have the time and space to calm down and just live life#the past 5ish years have been hell and so stressfull and anxious and full of isolation and panic and one prolonged crisis that were all#the final exams of my 8 1/2 years of lawschool and becoming a lawyer#and now its all just. Good.#and he is a big part of it#he showed up just at the right time#and its weird to be all like that after A Months#but its a if you know you know kinda thing#And i know he feels the same#because he keeps telling me how he feels and thats how he feels and aaaahhh#im all mushy about this#i wont see him for 4 whole days bc im gone for a long weekend and thats actually the longest amount of days we havent seen each other#since our first date#it was 3 whole days between date 1 and 2#and i dont think we even had that again since then#personal#i am genuinely so happy and in peace and its just the nicest feeling#okay anyway thanks for tuning in#bye
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moon n ballora
#my art#daycare attendant#dca fandom#moondrop#ballora#sorry to all the sl fans who r sick of hearing about the daycare attendant HFJSJGKDJG#anyway its real funny how i can draw the dca at a side view fairly well but ballora? fucking impossible#i wanted to keep it more in line w/ her canon design bc then otherwise moon would look weird but UGHHH i did NOT draw her well#this drawing is like. roughly a month old by now? but i wanted to post something#i havent been drawing as much bc of art block hell!!!!!! so if posts r slower thats why#i did go through my hundreds of drafts to put some posts in the queue though so those will be going for roughly 2 months at the current rat#theres still... a lot of posts in my drafts though... oops#also. did you guys hear that theyre making a whole ass dca pin set#the dca is like the perfect cash cow of merch now. pisses me off a little ngl HFJZJFKSJG#gonna be fun to see them release product after product as the masses go crazy over it again and again#im being kind of negative i know but. god#im honestly just posting this as an excuse to rant about it without making a whole post for it HFKZJFKD#i fucking knew this was gonna happen but man! it still sucks#anyway uhh if youre gonna buy merch buy fanmade stuff and bootlegs instead!#be aware of where your money is going!#... that's all i'll say about it
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 3#yakuza series#yakuza 3#yoshitaka mine#snap sketches#i was thinking about all the weird mine variants that exist and theres more than i thought there was#i JUST wanted to do suit variants tho none of the extra okinawa and new year rggo cards. and a bare variant#because i can ...... also cause i needed to exercise the knowledge that his plushie's undies are white SOMEHOW#funny enough the only time i like properly assembled mines colors was on my kirin mine sheet so yay for a semiproper color sheet#anyway. the grey suit's inspo'd from the date scene in y3- that shot with him and kanda#i chose a brown tie to act as an in-between transition from blue tie to gold tie#the rggo cards are forever funny to me but while i was drawing these i remembered that for some reason#with the newest card mine's sleeve is. white ???????? its white .#i only realized this after posting these to twitter so if you saw this there first and are like 'girl his sleeve changed color'#Thats Why <- literally no one is thinking that#ok i have nothing else to say probably im gonna eat one more bowl of pasta then go to bed#i keep mentioning kirin mine so maybe ill doodle one of my things with that tomorrow ..#if not i have stuff i wanna draw tomorrow so if im not tired after grocery shopping Theres That To Look To#ok bye its pasta time <- has decided to make pasta my personality for june#oh my god wait its june now jesus christ. yeah happy pride month ive finally drawn mine again#ok bye bye pasta's calling my name
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ugly baby rivers is gonna be in my brain forever
its not his fault..... newborns are just ugly
(i did some rambling in the tags if u wanna look at it lol)
#species swap au#ss descent#ss rivers#ss fire#theyre so weird. puppies. i think ancients used to have....... litters. i guess. of two to three babies#but they began to evolve to have less#and now its like. twins are pretty common but more often than not you have one#lots of people are opposed to having kids at all because its viewed as cruel to introduce someone to a cycle where they are so aware of-#-their entrapment#i dont think either pregnancy was intentional but fire was probably more welcome#they didnt know she was pregnant with rivers until shed already been for a couple months- and then he was born.... probably like 7 or 8-#-weeks early#fire wasnt on purpose either but they knew earlier and didnt have any complications#they were probably recommended not to go through with fires pregnancy since rivers birth was so hard on her and he was so sick#but i think now that shed had a kid and come to like the idea shed probably be happy to have another baby#i think they have fire mmmmmmmmmm three years after rivers (this is the same gap as me and my sibling. easy to remember)#takes your ask as an excuse to babypost#druid draw
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Theory: The Clone X was not Cody like some people think or even Fives (I know he's been dead for a very long time but so was Boba Fett and look where we are. Plus, Echo was supposed to be certainly dead too; making him Winter Soldier-esque storyline wouldn't be that surprising) or not even Slick.
((Also, now that we've seen his face devoid of any tattoos or scars I think first two takes are definitely not applicable anymore; they wouldn't put that much effort to make him unrecognizable))
Back to the point: In my opinion, The Clone X was none other than...
Fox.
Now let me explain.
Who else, other than X, was loyal to the law and justice dictated by it over any moral or ethic code?
Fox.
Who else was portrayed with such single-minded focus on hunting down traitors of the government he served, regardless of what it was?
Fox.
Who else could know not only Coruscant so well but also identify Rex like they knew each other?
He already was a remarkably successful tracker of traitors, why not make him more efficient by pointing them out for him?
Good soldiers follow orders, after all.
#clone assassin#commander fox#star wars tbb#i know that hes got killed really early after Order in comics but i would honestly prefer him to die this way#the bad batch spoilers#tbb#cc 2224#commander cody#arc trooper fives#ct 5555#tcw slick#cc 1010#star wars#sw tbb#sw the bad batch#the bad batch season 3#tbb theory#we dont even know for sure how fox looks like cause in one moment we see corries without helmets all of them have standard paintjob#there are 3 clones behind fox when hes shown and then the one taking off his helmet stands beside 2 others so it may actualy be it???#my point is: outside of one page incomic that can be at any point made noncanon or recontextualized theres no evidence that it cant be him#they already retconed more important things. why not this?#and as rogue said in coments X is a 10 in roman numerals so...#i think its likely that in case im right we can assume that all named corries were made into CloneX#none of them appeared yet despite how much of action happens on coruscant#and only thorn died on screen; in a way preventing him from being viable option nonetheless#three hits point blank months before Order seem unlikely but theyve done weirder things so him returning wouldnt be THAT weird so uhh idk#but yeah cx-02 is tech#winter soldiering doesnt stop#i mean THIS could be fox/other corrie but it being tech is way too cliche oportunity to waste it on them (derogatory towards disney)#pls disney let corries hunt down traitors like they used to pls
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I have one more thing I want to work on before I get back into updating 2AL regularly, but until then......
#I was going to do a poptart mindscape introduction comic next but like#idk how necessary that is???#I am assuming by this point we all know how the mindscape works right?#> can share memories#> can manipulate what you look like#> and can manipulate surroundings/summon whatever you want at will#I am assuming we know these things????? yeah?#2 arms left#and like! ah#gosh that animation project is scary#the last 2 options are build up comics for it that I am *probably* going to have to make at some point anyways#another part of me entirely is debating scrapping the animation project and just doing that update in comic form instead of animated form#YKNOW LIKE A NORMAL PERSON#idk#rambling#I am at a really weird part of the storyline for 2al where I know what happens next#but its going to be hard to visualize it? if that makes sense?#what do you MEAN these story points cant just get#beamed out of my head and into everyone elses heads#anyways hello thanks for reading this far into the tags#augh ive been very busy!#to whatever wins this poll I may not get to it till the end of the month#or after since the rest of this month is going to be pretty stressful#this is also assuming the animation option doesnt win#I dont know how long thats going to take me......#assuming I even have the guts to finish it
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Hello!
If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?
There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?
OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts
No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:
This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.
Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning
Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.
And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!
Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)
This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that
#not art#admin answers#paranatural#pnat#richard spender#pts-fic-notes-and-blog#before i continue on with tag ramble i just want to say tysm for leaving an ask!#none of my friends read this so ive been stewing on these thoughts for some months and i loved finally sharing them#this isn't exactly proof but the hijack possession seemingly being the final nail in the coffin for his and isabel's relationship.#idk it feels significant to me. thats one more tether to support kinda gone. someone who knows him well enough to know he's unwell#he seems not exactly content but fr incapable of not burning bridges as he is now. and considering how rashly he acts he REALLY needs those#to not do stupid shit all the god damn time with no buffer other than Lucifer. who for his measured approach to rick's hotheadedness#has honestly shown himself to be pretty lenient and kinda bad at controlling spender's more (self) destructive tendencies? so he dont count#to be clear i love spender to bits but he is dumb as rocks and has all the self preservation of a fruit fly. it needs to be said#also the lightning man... idk its WEIRD like especially on the reread its the thing that most consistently threatens him! it repeats#sure he gets chewed by a bat and banged up by forge but?? he somehow always comes back to lightning. catnine has it out for him#its something i didnt even really put together until i continued reading the flashback chapter AFTER getting this ask and went OHHHGNHF#which the only reason lightning is such a non issue is lucifer's powers. which belong to his sunglasses and not to the spirit in him#so its not like they can't be taken away he's just got a really good excuse for having those on all the time#TAGS GETTING SO LONG. ANYWAYS. i hope this is comprehensible lol
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dandelion is indeed the worst but if he’s not present in the next book i would legitimately be sorrowful as the whole thing will become a slog . you basically cannot have the “short stories” era-of-the-timeline iteration of geralt without dandelion, it would be like eating unbuttered bread.
though it’s not like season of storms did them dirty, i wasn’t disappointed with it (… with regards to them), but since it’s literally been over 20 years since the saga was finished i’m trying to prepare for any potential reality
#however i will accept an absence of dandelion IN THE CASE OF we get to see geralt and yennefer living together in vengerberg#but if it’s regular geralt day in the life then if dandelion’s not there it’s gonna suuuuuccckk#i mean as in geralt’s life sucks without him. badly#and it also? sucks with him. good-ly.#it’s august and we don’t have a title yetttt 🥲 and they said 2024 … hmhm sure#i just feel like rupaul ‘and don’t fuck it up’.gif#like i’m excited but also wtf? new witcher book? are we on punk’d?#it’s not going to be the best but i’m hoping it will be at least as good as season of storms. not a high bar ok!#this from the person who was optimistic about the n*tflix show. don’t trust me i like to believe in the future#i was going to say ‘and i trust sapkowski more than i trust n*tflix’ and then i laughed.#i don’t trust him—i don’t even trust the version of him from the 90s and 00s!#one side of me can’t believe i’m still here after the guardswomen of kerack. and the ‘well i’m only gay for clout’ villain motivations#the other side of me is intensely curious wtf geralt will get up to this time and how witcher could maybe even denigrate further#but season of storms ending was actually good and = well it’s not like sapkowski forgot what it was about#then again it’s been 10 years and a bad adaptation since then so im biting my nails#all i ask : please stick with the naming convention of the other books. i don’t want to write an absurdly long or short name or acronym out#sooooo weird that in a few months i will be saying: there are 9 witcher books.#actually rn i just say there’s 7 and discount season of storms as a legitimate heir but mention it as footnote lol#i just hope i can survive until this new book and until its translation LOLLLL#they said translation in 2025 but you know the track record#new book: *releases winter 2024* | english translation: coming 2045!#jk i think they finally figured out that witcher is a money printer so they will be eager to translate it now and not waffle around#they kicked their butts into gear with the hussite trilogy so ! and they made new hardcovers.#the elbow-high diaries#new book 2024
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Erin, to her crush: You're a dick
Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -
#my characters#its so sad that all of erins character development and kindness is on paper and nothing digital to show her growth#she picks on mason for many reasons and she kinda narrows her eyes at him but its more to squint than to glare#because she watches him from a distance when hes off laughing with others#though they are united on peter being worse than mason at least they can agree no matter what peter is worse#but also masons right arm is metal and she thinks its fascinating bc theres so many high tech prosthetics#why is he using the equivalent of a trash can ? is it some weird flex to not needing advanced stuff?#and its just he was from a poor family and was born with one full arm and then a stump#and he lived a lot of his youth with just one arm so once he got a second arm (installed basically) he went cheap#since he only wanted the other arm to get better jobs cause not many people would hire him with one arm#and he never really cared much about her comments because her lil verbal pokes of#so rogers whod you piss off? the mafia? is actually nicer than stuff he heard as a kid without the fake arm#so he tells her the only reason he has a metal limb is because god knew hed be two strong if born with two arms#and shes like uh huh sure thing rogers#and yeeeeah eventually something happens where mason is injured and erin is panicking#and hes acting like its okay to die because hes a dick remember TRYING to make light of it and she gets so sad#and after hes recovering and better he feels guilty making her so sad and hes talking to her#and she says that she doesnt have a lot of friends and she didnt want to lose one of the few people she liked#and hes just oh.......................... ididntthinkthatwouldbeme#so he starts to be super friendly to her and enforcing the crush that she doesnt wanna own up to#and then she does eventually confess and mason is baffled as to since when and shes like day one? and he just#erin you have got to be kidding me you were glaring at me for months#and shes just i have bad eye sight and im shy what did you expect#he isnt super smart or super stupid hes just exceedingly average
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#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day#is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into#spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill#keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else#and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late#to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a#job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place#but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human#level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker#unrelated
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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anyways the "something has to be physically constant and forever to matter" doesn't sit right with me because that has never been the case with literally anything in life! in the smallest sense to the largest things matter no matter how quick they pass us and through THAT maybe is a form of forever.
But I remember a passing compliment I got from a stranger just the same as one of the stories my late dad told me 100 times. Nobody's impact ceases to exist the second they are out of your sight or life.
#anyways sorry to be THINKING a lot tonight. its august (my weird month) after all.#anyways this can obviously be both good and bad but i've heard 'they arent in your life anymore why do think abt them' a lot#and im like do you just stop thinking about everyone the second theyre out of sight? UGHH
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semester is almost over. im dying
#my oc#rune#mori#i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing#even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED#i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately#trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day#and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt.#and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom#a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere#and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man#i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH#but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week#this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail#and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont#i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i#how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project#my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that#so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work#because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it#but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO#anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again
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dating an art student was so crazy I'm just thinking abt that one birthday I had where my ex got me stickers from the etsy of the person they were cheating on me with....
#they made them address the thank you note to me and everything ajskfjfkfb. i didnt know they were cheating at the time but wow...#every time i break out my sticker collection and see them im reminded of it. but i cant throw out the stickers theyre deltarune ones 😭#like they were a rly cool artist.... just unfortunate that happened 💀#the drama was insane. my ex only wanted to sleep with them but they (other person) wanted them to break up with me so they could date#but my ex dumped them rly harshly for suggesting that i guess 'romantic' cheating was a step too far even for them lmaooo#i heard abt their breakup secondhand and god could they be cruel sometimes. they made fun of the sex theyd had w them#to all their mutual friends n everything i actually felt so bad for the other person when i found out. at least our breakup wasnt that bad#i only finally got that cruel side of them directed towards me like a year after when they wanted us to stop being friends#but yeah. its also funny in a way bc my ex only suggested i had adhd bc the other person did too + struggled a lot with rsd#which i guess they found out when they broke up with them. and then looked at that and thought huh my gf is kind of similar...#and this was like. 2 years before i even considered i had adhd myself and sought diagnosis ahdkfidjcjdjfjfjfkdbfnf#this made me go look the other persons art page up on instagram + then i recognised some of their friends/flatmates art pages and i found#their (my exs that is) grad year film which is still being shown at animation festivals... good for them good for them#i dont think they have an art page themselves tho cuz they were always v shy and weird abt sharing art on social media#like everyone else except them is tagged on things... shame i wouldve liked to see what they were making now. even if we're not friends#also one of their old roommates made some REALLY similar squid game fanart to mine like a month after i posted it huh..#not mad abt it or anything i think its cool i just didnt realise they showed my art to their friends. thats cute#ah this was years ago anyway. getting my head out of the rabbit hole#im gonna go play some elden ring and then maybe do smth fun in my sketchbook we shall seeee#.diaries
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