#and its really hard to articulate

[florida3exclamationpoints]

"You wanted me to be a better man, and you've done that. But if you want me to be a different man, I'm sorry. This is who I am." He's actually right about that and Belle should've accepted it way sooner. I wish they had spoken about this more when Rumple did get his redemption. "You weren't always" // "yes I was. Even when I was a coward I craved power." Number one I do not like calling him a coward bc its not true. But yes of course a man with no power or authority who had been beaten around by everyone in his life would crave power. That's normal. The difference isn't that now he has it, it's that he's addicted to it. And addiction does not make him a bad person. "I won't let it go. Not again." THATS the overkill addiction talking now. He didn't have to make himself the dark one again to have the kind of agency in his life that he needs. He needed magic to get the power he's addicted to. Saying he won't let it go, no one's asking him to be the village coward again, but he equates that to not having his magic which is what he needed to get over. "Falling in love with the man behind the beast isn't really what happened to you. You fell in love with me because there was a man and a beast. Neither exists without the other." BARS!!! absolutely correct. Because no one is all good or all bad. And the man was always fed by the beast with the craving power OVER others and needing to prove himself as Better. The beast was fed by the man by always convincing himself that everything he did was necessary. The truly Bad part of him is the part that enjoyed seeing other people in pain/suffering because of him, but again that comes from how he was always treated by other people. But he didn't admit to liking it all the time, he didn't always lean into it, and he NEVER killed someone just for fun. (Maybe if you strip the layers back, he did, but that's not how he thought about it.) He always rationalized. He kills people because they did X to deserve it, because it's necessary for the plan to get Bae back, etc. Just a few episodes before he said he didn't enjoy killing Milah (the second time) and he would never do anything like that again. He meant that.

He is both. He was always both. He always stayed both. Belle always loved both. His redemption didn't change him at his core. He had to reject his addiction to all consuming power and realize he couldn't have everything and he shouldn't expect to have everything or for everything to go his way. But he had the power he really needed, and he realized the difference. He doesn't have to hurt people to have power. He has the power to make his own choices to not be like his father and to work to deserve Belle's love and to accept her love without being told he wasn't good enough.

[ef-1]

to the holes in my butterfly wings

[copepods]

i alwys get annoyed when i see fanon depictions of artificer being affectionate with five pebbles because in my mind artificer has complicated feelings towards him that lean towards dislike and they see him more as a weird alien creature-machine who carries a great deal of knowledge and talks to arti for lack of anything better to do, and artificer brings him pearls to stave off crushing hopelessness and loneliness but like i dont think artificer actually likes him. i think theyd find him off-putting and unpleasant. of course that's just headcanon in my mind though which is why its a little funny that alternate depictions annoy me so much. we are all making this shit up

[starryalpacasstuff]

Knock Knock Boys: A Queer Asian Lens

I didn't watch Knock Knock Boys as it was airing, because it didn't really seem like the kind of show I'd be into. However, this post by @lurkingshan and @waitmyturtles' enthusiastic recommendation convinced me to give it a shot. Having binged the entirety of the series in a day, I can say that the show was an absolute delight to watch.

I've seen plenty of people talking about how wonderfully sex positive the show was, so I'm not going to bother with going too much into it, but I will say that the drama clearly showed the kind of sex education and awareness that is desperately needed around the world. I also really liked how Lukpeach and Latte were the ones responsible for pretty much all of the sex education in the show. It was very realistic in that, in my experience, it's extremely common for teenagers and young adults to get a majority of their knowledge about sex from their friends and the internet. The show had a very clear message about the importance of talking freely about sex with younger generations, because the taboo on the topic only harms teenagers in the long run.

Now, besides that, there was one more issue that I thought the show did wonderfully: it showed how asian kids are often hesitant to discuss things with their parents because they assume the worst in the beginning. I'm having some trouble articulating this, because it's such an abstract, ingrained concept to me, so forgive me if this is incoherent. I'm also generalizing my experience as an Indian, so please do correct me if I'm wrong here. That being said, having been raised in a society that values respect and listening to elders without question, discussing alternate ideas with parents can be a very difficult thing for most of us. It's easy to assume what parents would say to an idea and decide that trying to convince them otherwise is a task that is either futile or requires too much energy.

The best way I can describe is that the mindset becomes "It's better to ask for forgiveness if you get caught instead of asking for permission straight away". For example, had Almond asked his mother if he could stay with three other guys, she would've most definitely flat out refused, since she would've had a lot of preconceived notions about the idea. But, because Almond is able to show her that he's happy as he was, she was perfectly fine with him continuing to stay with the others. I think that's the hallmark of most asian parents, they want us to be happy but they're convinced that they know what kind of life will make us happy. They did something similar with Peak and his father, but my feelings on that are a little more complex, so we'll come back to this.

Peak and Thanwa, man. I loved Latte and Almond but these two just stole the show for me. I know some people felt frustrated with Peak's dallying and hesitance, but I just felt so sad for him, and something about his situation just hit very close to home. And Seng, the actor that he is. One particular moment that stuck with me was the scene when he leaned against the door while Jumper attacked Max. I must've rewatched that moment half a dozen times, because his acting was impeccable. I will say, I wish that they'd given us a better resolution on the arc after Max, but those are mostly minor quibbles. What I really wanted to talk about was the arc with Peak's father. Peak gathering the courage to tell his father with the support from his found family was beautiful. The scene at Knock Knock House the day before Peak left was one of the most magnificent, emotionally charged scenes I've seen in asian ql in a while. Coming from a societ wherein arranged marriage is the norm, the storyline hit hard in all the right places.

But. I did not love the resolution of the arc. I think we've had some conversation about how some shows try to be both in the bubble and out of the bubble simultaneously, and the last two episodes of the show felt a little like that. From what we knew about the father, it felt almost too easy for him to simply accept everything right away. There should have been some struggle for reconciliation. I know that the show has a theme of assumptions and lack of communication disrupting parent-child relationships, but in this case how fast they move on just seems unrealistic. My cynicism aside, even if we assume that the father wasn't homophobic, there should've been more of a conversation on the breaking of the engagement! The social implications, the father asking him why he didn't say anything for so long, Jane's involvement (how did the father know that she knew about this?). The only argument I can see against this is that the father, while initially put off by the revelation, chose to act otherwise to support his son. But then, he most likely wouldn't have insisted they take his car. And there still should've been some sort of a conversation about the engagement. Arranged marriages have a purpose; it's to provide financial and social security. I find it extremely hard to believe that a father who arranged a marriage for his son wouldn't have so much as discuss the implications of being gay with him. They tried to have the engagement have consequences with the wedding banquet, but the resolution for that really only made it worse. This is cynical of me, but I simply cannot suspend my disbelief enough to believe that the entire wedding party was perfectly happy with the turn of events. This whole resolution just seemed out of place in a show that was otherwise so wonderfully grounded in reality while still being absolutely hilarious. I think, if the show had done something a little more similar to GAP, it would've felt more realistic.

All of that aside, I really did enjoy watching the show. It was hilarious and heartwarming, and the characters were absolutely wonderful. The resolution of the final arc did drag it down a little, but I would be lying if I said that watching two queer couples get to celebrate their relationships with their community didn't warm my heart at all (Also, side note- Jane having a girlfriend was a brilliant subversion). All in all, it's a great series. It definitely felt like something new and fresh compared to the kind of qls that I've been watching lately.

[aropride]

i think theres a lot to be said about how marginalized men are oppressed based on both their marginalized identity alone as well as how their manhood and masculinity (or lack of masculinity) interact w it, & there's something to be said for how harmful radical-feminist hating men can be & how harmful anti-masculiity can be, and absolutely none of it is being said by using the word "misandry" and implying men are marginalized systemically based on their manhood alone

[legofemme]

Other people w adhd . Do you guys also just... Suck really bad at one on one conversations. I always feel bad about talking to people one on one because i genuinely dont know how to navigate talking without feeling like im needlessly infodumping. It makes me feel guilty when i see my other friends talking about how much they talk to people, because it then feels like my inability to talk is a moral failing, and not something inherent to my particular neuroses.

[jazzzzzzhands]

Ok FOR REAL Theory Time!!! Gonna be massive spoilers plus mention of bugs/fungus! So I'm calling this the Mold Theory And what is the Mold? It's the black stuff under Home! (Mold under a house is very suiting, right?) The Mold has contaminated Every single thing that the Restoration team has found! The team talks about the envelopes, the antiques, and the artwork found for Welcome Home and how it is alwasys Wet and covered in Grime. The stuff that is "Growing" all over the found items... Staff must wear gloves or they will get covered in it

You can see it all over the gloves, the Walls, and even the Website Itself! It's also been shown on the restored art prior to the update. But one unfortunate person seems to have touched it. and that is.. The Question Answerer! (The head person of the Restoration team is also most likely infected) Now what this Mold does is, It seems to have an effect of the person's mental state. Causing them to see and hear things, as well as having lucid nightmares and an overwhelming urge to draw spirals. From the very moment of contact, it seems to have effect "When I Unwrapped the first letter, I felt it. I heard it. Open Open Open. I want it out, I'm Going to get it Out" Instant Hallucinations and Obsession! Now I'm going to be Comparing this Mold to a Real fungus called Cordyceps, or the Zombie-Ant Fungus. It is a fungus that can control BUGS (familar themes right?) and take over their minds, forcing them to act unnaturally and wander far in order to spread itself! ~Similarily~ this Mold can take control of the Host's mind as well. The "Spores" that it is trying to spread are the drawings of the spirals/eyes. And the more eyes are Drawn, the more Wally can SEE. Wally has made it truly apparent that he can see us through any rendition of his eyes. "I've seen you every time you've looked into my eyes" "I have more eyes than I did before, you know how to draw eyes You draw mine, many times. I know it is thanks to you, Neighbor.. That I can see.. but it is still.. I can't see" He is giving us instructions.. "You have work to do" -Giving us instrustions on how to draw an eye... "Please Open, Let me In" Now I find this last instruction very funny He doesn't say "Let me Out" No... He says "Let me IN" Into What? What are we Opening? Our doors?Our EYES? our Mind? our Heart?? I think that could be exactly it!!! Letting him.... into You!!! (The collective You) Isn't that Funny? A Funny little thought?! The Puppet becoming the Puppeteer! ooh hee hee hoo hoo I think I'm very clever about that! But there are so many themes of Strings/Control/Scripts That I simply couldn't help myself! Now does that mean I think Wally is Evil? Absolutely NOT I LOVE Wally, and hey, what's a bit of mind control between Neighbors? <333 I'll borrow a cup of sugar and you can borrow my sanity! That's what Neighbors are for! <3 Jokes aside, No I Do NOT think Wally is Evil!! No, he might become a Puppeteer over the Real world... (and It might be for good reason, to save his friends and himself) but he is still very much a Puppet himself. Literally and Figuratively, And the Real Mastermind behind the strings is... Home!

Afterall? Isn't that where the Mold is coming from? From Down Below? Below Home?

This image gives me BIG TIME Obediance vibes Reporting/Worship/Subjugation I very much see Wally as the Lure of a very big Angler Fish.. The bait, the perfect little puppet that has captured our hearts and led us by the hand into Welcome Home. Isn't that very much how it has gone in real life? (Oh I KNOW I got the Mold BAD!!! ahahaha) (I can't stop drawing himmm!!! :3c ) But this is where my rambling stops, Until Next Time! I will just say that: The Relationship between Home and Wally (And by extension, YOU) Is a Strange one for sure! And I cant wait to see it further! And Just one more extra note on this whole Fungus thing.. Did you know that the BIGGEST Organism on the entire Earth.. Is a Mushroom? It is because they are connected through their Roots... (Down Below) and Houses kinda are shaped like musrooms... I will Leave it at That! Ahahahaha!

[snailcubezz]

i think bugsnax is the one fandom where i cannot give a shit about any ship except the canon ones but like queerplatonic wiggle/gramble is so real to me . in my heart. they're both aroace but so so affection starved and kind of idiots about it so they mistake it for romance Do you see my vision

[dreadfutures]

.

I love Solas, and I love Solavellan, because I find the character and story so compelling, but sometimes I feel like a fake Solavellan

to me Ixchel and Solas has kind of always been about two friends who both suffer from the same affliction and they are the only two people who can ever understand it, the affliction being outside (duty, responsibility, guilt) and inside (inherent fatalism in philosophy, viewing the self as unworthy, haunted by despair) and though

they can't at first forgive themselves or find the strength within them to stay out of their dark spirals, they can do it for the other. and how important that is. that's love. the smooching and everything is on top. the knowing what dark predators haunt the other person's psyche and saying I'll be there with you when the wolves come, we'll survive together. the I know exactly who you are and how ugly it is and I love you for it and I see the beauty still. the I will never get tired of you even if youre never "fixed." that's love right. that's Ixchel and Solas to me.

so like yeah they have been Together for about like 170+ chapters. they're not being tested about being pulled apart by duty or fear anymore, they're testing the strength of that bond in those dark ugly moments that come for us all. and mostly theyre good. mostly they're just on an adventure together.

somehow it feels like I'm a fake Solavellan 🥲 like early dpdf captured something and... getting together, having truths revealed, this *aftermath* is like I left that behind somehow. like it's beyond what Solavellans want. idk. I think about other fics that are post- truth coming out and staying together and they're very different vibes, I think, you know?

I like my action/adventure fic, I like them together, I like having moments where they find that there is still a dark corner they haven't swept out into the light yet and the way it's still scary for someone to want to know those ugly parts of you that they maybe haven't seen yet. I like having them be mostly utterly confident in each others competency. I like them united against the unknown together. but like did everything about them peak in Here Lies the Abyss, you know? or maybe Wycome? I'm so nervous about everything in TBG :'( it's just hard for me RN in my heart idk to feel confident of like. where it Fits into fandom besides "blue loves lore and wants to explore metaphysics with Ixchel (new perspective) and Solas (wise, experienced guide)"

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[sapphorror]

oh

[13eyond13]

One of the main things I dislike about book 2 Lestat vs book 1 Lestat is it just takes away a lot of the interesting mystery about his character in the first book to have him definitively answer everything like: "oh actually I WAS hiding a bunch of secrets of the vampire universe and rules and hierarchy and history from you the entire time, and actually I WAS also filthy rich secretly the entire time due to a treasure left to me by my maker and didn't actually need you for your money at all, and also I wasn't a bit insecure about my lower class upbringing and poorer education and trying to compensate for that by being both showy and secretive about myself I was actually a noble, and also I CAN do a bunch of other vampire things that I never taught you to do or did in front of you even though we lived together in the same house as a family for like 70 years, and yes I DO hate following rules and doing what I'm told and keeping secrets but I did it because Marius said your fragile minds couldn't handle the truth if I DID tell you anything else, and also I DIDN'T want any revenge on Claudia or blame her for attempting to murder me or think I maybe should undo what I did by making her one bit, I was just being forced by the even EVILLER vampire to have her condemned to death, and also almost everything questionable or problematic or cruel that I did within the first book was either a lie told by Louis or secretly actually a kind and heroic thing I did because I cared about someone other than myself, IN FACT I SECRETLY THE ENTIRE TIME HAD A STRICT MORAL CODE I WAS FOLLOWING every time I casually killed an innocent npc in the first book, and whenever you watched on in horror at my cruelty and toying with my victims I was actually only killing scummy evildoers and Louis was just too dumb and romanticizing of humans to ever see it etc..." like FINE WHATEVER, I GUESS hahaha but I actually kind of liked you better when you were a bit meaner and a bit petty and a bit imperfect and a bit lame

[onejellyfishplease]

I am all about constructive criticism. I mean, how am I supposed to get better at writing/drawing if people won't be honest with me and give me tips to get better. I personally think that people who can't take constructive criticism aren't very bright. How are they supposed to get better at things if they don't listen to others who are just trying to guide them?

Also, I would love some more tips on how to make the shell better. If you are willing, of course. :)

I am horrible at drawing. I usually have to trace things to get a decent drawing. (For instance, I traced like five different things to make Mikey a pony.)

I'm so much better at coloring than I am at drawing. My writing needs work, too, but I'm getting better.

First of all, can I just say that you shouldnt worry about tracing art to improve your own (as long as u aren't posting it as soley your own but thats a whole other rabbit hole) I did too! It helps build ground work for a good understanding of anatomy and poses.

However there are a few holes in tracing. Forst of all it is quite limiting in the outcome of your work, as your art is stuck static in one pose. this can alkost hinder your ability to see things in '3D' and visualise objects for multiple angles. it can also lead to 'skin wrapping' , which i think is the hole you fell into here (and also a term i just made up now)

with the shell, you only coloured it within Mikey's trace lines - this caused the shell to loose a lot of its mass - making it look, quite frankly, not like a shell.

a way to improve on this is to look at more references of Mikey's shell in the show and its shape from different angles. this can help you get a good idea of how it should look, and it is a good idea to practice drawing it from these angles. this will improve your ability to think in a 3D space, (which is so darn hard, but seriously useful)

however, and you may have noticed this yourself, when you add new additions to the figure, the line art just doesnt line up! the line quality is different!

This is because the line you have done for the addition is Your Line. And we love your line.

so lets make the rest of the traced lineart fit into your style, instead of you fitting yours into theirs okay?

You may notice that when you trace art, the line work is just not the same, the lines are shakier than the original and it just doesn't look as good. this is not a reflection of your skill.

It is because, usually, (at least when I did it) you follow the original line so closely that it turns out shaky, probably taking your pen off the page a few times to take a break from the oen stroke. while the original artist did that line in one sweeping stroke.

a way to fix this, and make the line arr cleaner and more you, is to instead use the drawing as a very close reference. for example:

instead of tracing the exact lines of the art, merely trace the general shapes of the art. not only then do you add your own flair and gesture to the drawing, you are then more free to add more shapes to this sketch.

You can still use the reference drawing as closly as you want, but try to focus less on getting the exact lines copied, and more on the general shape. you linework wont be perfect the first time, it might be really messy compared to your usual tracing, and thats fine! you should see some of my sketches before i refine them!

But these will be your lines, theyll be smoother and more gestural, and overtime you will get better control over your penstrokes doing this.

Okay I cant really think of anymore to add here, I hope this helps! i think this was just one big word vomit lol. Keep drawing!! cause no matter what you do, as long as you are actively drawing you are always improving! dont be afraid to push yourself out of you comfort zone! who cares if it doesnt turn out the way you wanted it to? Its your art, You Created That with your Own Hands, and I think that is amazing.

<3

[pencap]

.

[dysaniadisorder]

watching adventure time as a teenager really is

[yourlocalnpd]

you know sometimes people ask me why I'm pro self diagnosis and there's a couple reasons

Knowing that I had anxiety and depression as a child protected me from gaslighting because I knew I wasn't "just overreacting." I got diagnosed a few years later and was told I should've received treatment much sooner.

The first psychologist I saw told me that I didn't have ADHD, just really intense anxiety. I disagreed and followed up with a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me, my sister, and my dad with ADHD, and all of us got medication that made life far more manageable. None of us would have that aid if I hadn't done research and pressed doctors for actual help

Having a name for what I was experiencing let me research resources for self help, and my mother has done the same thing to treat her anxiety when seeing a doctor wasn't viable. Since then she's attended mental health sessions at public community centers and has been able to work on her anxiety

Psychologists and psychiatrists see a lot of people every day for relatively brief sessions, and they don't know everything about your brain after talking for an hour once a month. Of course, trust experts, but your lived experiences are also very important sources and it's important to seek second opinions if you feel you need help.

[skybristle]

How do you go about picking colors for your characters? They're all so vibrant and good!

it depends!

usually i'll pick one color as the main color, this can either be a neutral color [typically gray/black or brown] OR especially for iterators another vibrant color. then i'll pick a large vareity of values of this color [within roughly the same saturation family] and color the majority of the character with that.

then i will pick one or two colors that contrast it heavily [ie, sparks main color pallete is gold/orange/red, so the lime green contrasts it a lot] and sprinkle it in key areas as accents [like buttons, eyes, symbols, or , in her case, the bright electrical arcs littering her body]. usually these colors will be either VERY bright or pale to contrast the main color well. generally speaking ill pair cool and warm colors for this

i also stress a lot the importance of balancing out your pallete. there should be matching dark and light values on both the top and bottom of the design, as well as sprinkling about the accents mostly evenly [this is why i often put symbol marks on the hands and feet]. and. uhm. yeah!