#and its not even about the exams
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Guys btw its exam szn for me so i don’t know how active im gonna be on here,
Read a whole bunch of smut on my behalf while I'm away,
Love ya very very much❤️
#also a bitch’s anxiety is anxieting#like#like the heart races and insomnia are making a comeback#and its not even about the exams#its just me#I wish I could be a normal gal#i need to get into meditation or smth
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his problem now
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#dirk strider#admin draws#fanart#drew this real quicj before i forced myself to work. exam on wednesaday im just about ready to end it all#im tired constantly and so fucking bad at sleeping during the day. i just cannot. i cant. its impossible#even if i get into a completely dark room and comfy unless im about to get sick or slept 5ish hours for many consecutive days#theres about a 80% chance the nap will fail catastrophically and i wotn fall asleep at all
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bringing the new fledgling home^^ (after you got his sire killed)
#i forgot to add them in imagine sluuur sound effects next to every panel#vtm#vampire the masquerade#vtmb#/elias#toreador#artists on tumblr#/diamila#vampire#comic#oc comic#pretend its a masterpiece i gave up on an exam to finish this as quickly as possible#5 pages took 5 hours i do naut envy comic artists#but i am happy about this^^ im glad i stuck w it its my first comic and im proud of it#even though im grimacing rn looking at some panels. mein gott#art#ventrue#scarabocchi
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Percy Jackson and The Titan's Curse- Rick Riordan // Doctor Who S1 Ep9: The Empty Child // Anne Carson: An Oresteia- Sophokles: Elektra // A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Vile Village- Lemony Snicket // James Coates // Song of The Insensible- Andrew Kozma // Percy Jackson and The Titan's Curse- Rick Riordan
#im so sorry yall nancy in that doctor who episode seriously reminded me of bianca#also even if you know jack shit about dr who go watch that episode its quite possible my all time fave dr who episode its brilliant#i am so sorry its nearly midnight i have an exam tomorrow and im crying over the di angelo siblings#why am i like this#bianca di angelo#nico di angelo#di angelo siblings#percy jackson#pjo
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puppycat roommates au ♡♡ if shirt not left out for mu qing to steal then why shirt comfortable and warm and perfectly cosy for a nap....
#feng xins clothes as perfect nesting material#yeah the ribbons . yeah they think theyre so slick but both of them are just oblivious as fuck about everything#theyre alr together here !#but . but shy about it#theyre silly :3 its cute#dancing around each other still even after theyve moved in together . hualian are done with their bullshit#i need to draw them more i just never get them to look how i want them to oTL#anyway scribble between exams im dying .#art tag#tgcf#mu qing#feng xin#fengqing
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I am really tired of a situation rn.
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet!#anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine#can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 !#why am i getting your insurance company calling me today !#also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp#and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene#so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth#literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic#i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck!#im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like#bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved#cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered#idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy#got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam#and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified#there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them#and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious#its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it
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together in every universe. or something
#bojan cvjetićanin#kris guštin#joker out#im neglecting schoolwork to draw this but that seems like the norm at this point#hoping if i get it all out of my system now i'll be normal during exam szn (in like. a week 😨)#<<sorry if i keep talking about school btw (semi age reveal ahead) gcses are fucking killing me uuaghhgshhahhhaj#i actually quite like this since i started drawing on a whim this afternoon and its only ten now#i dont even mind the lineart (DONT LOOK AT BOJANS HAND OR ILL JUMP OUT A WINDOW)#only a one storey one tho 💗💗💗 can't die without seeing bokris irl <<pipe dream as im too embarrassed to go to a concert#NO because bumping into jo in london would be my worst fucking nightmare 😭😭😭#what do i even fucking say 'hey are you jan from jo--' NO id combust on the spot#and what if im bothering them uknow 😭😭 idk but i used to live in an asian city where none of my idols from the west would ever visit#(except safiya love you safiya) so keeping the real life person and fictiinalized versions apart in my brain and/or at arms length was easy#but now that i live in the uk and the chances of seeing them irl are non-zero? and presented with the chance to#actively seek them out and you know go to a concert#im just too scared and awkward to do it#maybe i'll bully my friend into going with me#i feel safer revealing age more in the fucking depths of these tags but another thing that makes me feel awkward about going is age#like ik lots of jo fans are younger than me and there's no shame at all in bringing your parents i just feel so embarrassed?? to???#like i'd rather go with my friends#but that would require at least us riding the train alone and i am a small east asian girl who never looks up from the floor ever#sooooo#not happening any time soon#maybe next yr?? but probably not#unless i suddenly get a lot more independant and cool#i doubt anyone's read this much of my tags but if you have 😭😭 hope you like the art i guess#at the time of me writing i want to draw more but i'll see#(you will know since it will have been posted)#a tag previously used to say 'queueing to post at school' this is false as i am now in fact nauseous at home#my art
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As An IzuOcha Shipper…
…them not ending up together isn’t the problem.
Horikoshi taking the “leave it up to interpretation” approach and then proceeding to COMPLETELY AVOID ADDRESSING their relationship status is the problem.
Horikoshi failing to tie up that one last loose end for Uraraka’s character arc (not closing off her feelings) is the problem.
Again, I ship IzuOcha. Still do, because I’m stubborn. Would I have liked for them to end up together, even if it was only a somewhat blatant implication that could be handwaved? Obviously. But you know what? Maybe I would be upset if the story went out of its way to explicitly de-confirm any chance of Midoriya and Uraraka being a romantic pairing, but I’d at least respect it and understand it a lot more if the story let Midoriya and Uraraka actually talk about this, or at the very least SHOWED US them talking about this. I’d understand if Uraraka completed her character arc by having a heart to heart with Midoriya and telling him that her feelings have changed, her priorities have changed, and Midoriya understands and they remain good friends. Let’s be real, romance isn’t Horikoshi’s strong suit, despite his many attempts to leave romantic implications throughout the series. I’d completely understand if he just had Midoriya and Uraraka talk and they didn’t end up together, because at least then it still provides both of their characters with closure.
But no, that’s too simple. Let’s just “leave it up to interpretation,” because it clearly wasn’t that important, right?
Well, as many people on the internet have already brought up, if it wasn’t so important, why did you spend so much time putting emphasis on it? Why did you have Uraraka, up until the FINAL WAR, have her crush on Midoriya be a crucial part of her character (it wasn’t her only character trait, mind you, but it was still important)? Why did the penultimate chapter have the class come to comfort Uraraka and tell her that they can talk to her… and then come the next chapter, Uraraka apparently hasn’t done anything regarding her supposed crush on Midoriya? For literal YEARS!?
…see, this isn’t even a shipping problem anymore. This is a character problem.
Horikoshi, for whatever reason, chose not to include a romance for the main character and his supposed love interest. And again, that’s fine, not every story needs to be a romance. Two problems with it here though (well, one problem and an observation):
1) Choosing to not at least address the romantic subplot with a “I think we’re better off as friends” encounter, thus actually concluding the subplot and providing a sense of closure, not only leaves the result feeling underwhelming and frustrating, but also actively damages Uraraka’s character arc. We can have her address the problem that caused people like Toga to exist, but heaven forbid she talks about romance with Midoriya.
2) Despite his supposed aversion to romance, Horikoshi still went out of his way to give Gentle and La Brava wedding rings… he’s willing to establish a side romantic pairing without bringing too much attention to it, but he can’t be bothered to do something similar for the arguable MAIN pairing? It’s the “Togata has special clothes so he doesn’t end up buck naked, but Hagakure’s still gotta go commando” debacle again…
I’ma go ahead and wrap this up ‘cause I don’t wanna keep y’all much longer, but like… being optimistic, this ending was… functional. I’ve got my problems with it, obviously, I don’t think it was BAD bad… but it certainly wasn’t good. It works. Barely. And it’s ‘cause of stuff like this.
Midoriya and Uraraka didn’t need to end up together, truly. All Horikoshi had to do was put the smallest amount of effort and give us something of substance, something with closure. Instead, we got what we got.
I get that he was exhausted and wanted the manga to be over… but that excuse only holds up for so long.
#14 August 2024#bnha critical#mha critical#bnha 430#mha 430#bnha spoiler#mha spoiler#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#should I put this in the main tag?#...screw it#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#i'm pretty basic/casual when it comes to how i consume media but like...#this was NOT it chief#horikoshi decided to not put in the work (even if it was somewhat understandable) and that backfired. HARD.#midoriya doesn't get to be a hero? well at least he's a respectable teacher at an accredited academic institution!#...except the story frames that as all midoriya was doing for that time period. no consulting on hero work. no helping with investigations.#just teaching. which is all well and good... if all of the teachers/mentor figures throughout the series weren't various levels of garbage.#that's a different discussion tho#or how about this new development in hero society will mean the heroes will finally have some serious free time... except they don't.#even with the lowering villain count they're all still too busy to have more than a few of them get together at a time.#at least actually reading makes it clear they didn't outright ghost Midoriya but like... something about that feels wrong.#“bUt It'S rEaLiStIc” AFO was defeated after a second resurrection by the power of friendship and other ghosts#edgeshot bakugo and gran torino survived despite all the fatal hits they took. this series doesn't know its stance on realism.#bakugo's finally got some serious character development! except y'know... he's still okay with telling off civilians.#y'know... the same thing that caused him to fail the provisional license exams? something he should have really figured out YEARS later?#at this point I can't even take him leading the charge on the power suit project seriously... it feels less like natural growth for
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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Excuse the YouTuber in the corner I'm too lazy to switch to a different video but, it's probably a pretty easy conclusion to come to that KH might function off a somewhat stable time loop but nothing has really made it feel blatantly obvious than realizing that actually, since Ansem SoD sent Young Xehanort to Scala, that would mean there would have to be a starting timeline where the first SoD went back to start the loop, meaning there has to be a timeline where Xehanort never left Destiny Islands MEANING there has to be a timeline where SoD never existed, and as such neither did Xemnas and Terranort never happened along with basically everything else. So are we in fact confirming that KH does indeed function off a stable timeloop that never truly "started" somewhere and has just always been this way, or what in the world could have happened to still lead Xehanort to Scala without interference? Cuz now I have to wonder, if we're going by stable timeloop, then either Sora creates the tear in time every loop effectively creating endless ones over and over which could lead to a bigger problem(or not a problem at all if it's supposed to happen??) OR this is somehow the first deviation, which doesn't feel likely considering obviously Quadratum and Srelitizia being there seems to be decidedly factored into the equation here, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it hasn't been. Or maybe the problem is that Sora's genuinely not supposed to be there. Idk where I'm going anymore, but basically if time started somewhere and it hasn't always been a loop, how did we get HERE to the point in the screenshot where SoD/practically everything was able to exist to "create itself" essentially??? And I don't think that's possible without outside intervention, so it's gotta be a stable timeloop!
#(and heres how i can prove MoM is future Sora from the past cuz time loops back around!!!) no i dont wanna make it about that even tho i do#but also now i wonder how MoM meeting young nort even factors into anything when it feels like dark road is the reason he went down his path#like. what further push could meeting MoM have possibly given him that dark road didnt???#especially since its before the exam#granted imo nort seemed so absent emotions wise from everything happening in DR that i feel like it didnt really affect him at all#i think some interal dialogue from him would have helped tremendously cuz hes just so blank during the whole story#like it does fit his personality as the quiet guy but like. it makes it look like he doesnt care about anything happening#so i mean. if he kinda didnt then yeah maybe the MoM meeting did help push him along#granted i dont remember half the dialogue and ive barely started the video the screenshot is from so like. let me cook before you correct me#i'll correct myself when i get there and remember all the dialogue lol
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fandom should be More insane about daisira and smokey eyes. I am just saying
#exam tomorrow and I am here at 10pm to talk about gay people podcast on tumblr dot com#figures though HAHA#daisira toxic doomed huntercop yuri so good one of them kills the other#agnes/gertrude old lady yuri so good they mirror each other in everything they do and both die before the series even starts#chat please I love them#daisy tonner#basira hussain#gertrude robinson#agnes montague#daisira#I miss them :(#every time a piece of tma! gertrude/agnes art makes it onto the internet an angel gains its wings btw
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i miss stupid rafaela
#why is exam season always missing the worst people alive who probably havent thought of me in months hours#and i have been banned from texting her but i want to scream so i will do what she'd caricature of me and be immature#and scream about it here#you were supposed to be my sister i genuinely loved you like one what is wrong with you why do i still love you deep down#whatever.#btw i've known about your new blog since basically the day after you made it. im just choosing to try to have some self respect for once in#my life and not contact you because you dont want me to#i guess a part of me will always love you. because i take sisterhood seriously and cant just unlearn that i saw you that way#even if ive mostly moved on#the relapses still fucking suck#but yeah. that part will always hope we can reconnect some day. i know its pathetic but i guess that's me#when i tell someone i will always love them i mean it with my whole heart. ik if you asked id forgive you in a heartbeat#but i also kind of hate you now. and i dont think about you most days. but every so often the universe will remind me of how deeply i loved#you and that sucks#you're pretty much the grudge by olivia rodrigo to me#not the first person i associate with that song but it does describe how i feel about you a little too well#rafaela 🎶#blatantposting
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mental illness speedrun
#I feel so ill about those episodes that I can't even post about them#text#I finished the show by the way. those are the fastest 177 episodes I have ever watched. during exam season of all things sadkjfhsdfhskg.#my final verdict is that the show fucks severely until season 7 1/2 after which it kind of sucks. it also loses its track somewhat post#s6 1/2 and starts repeating rehashing and contradicting its messages but otherwise it isn't Bad or Mediocre the way those last episodes are#anyway. media embracing absurdism and committing to the bit are catnip to me and house md/tlt/disco elysium really hit that sweet spot <3#do you know what they also have in common? gay people / discussions of love sex and power that make you insane / maladjusted protagonists -#- failing to succeed under exploitative systems / and most importantly gothic hauntings and entrapment.#house md
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youtube
I randomly felt like watching this edit again and ohh ... the feelings😭😭 This video basically carried me through my last semester and final exams at high school, I literally watched it multiple times every day (I swear a couple hundred views are from me alone), on the bus ride to school in the morning, when I got home again, before going to bed, just in between because I felt like it ... Internally I wasn't doing that well at the time, and it just brought me so much comfort. Also I'm pretty sure it plays a significant role in how I fell more and more in love with 2nd Dimension Heinz💕 This edit just means so much to me and I love it so much <3
#actually funny that I dug it out after some time of not watching it just now when the end of my study programme is around the corner#and I'm once again stressed as hell#but who knows maybe it works its magic and I'll ace all projects and exams and such again now#but even with out all that it's just really beautiful <3#the text makes me think of kind of a darker AU where Heinz being genuinely evil is a bigger plot point and Selina is worried about him#because he's becoming more unpredictable and extreme and she's torn because she wants neither him nor others to be hurt#but she also just loves him too much and feels herself drawn to him more and more and she can't help it😭#or something like that idk I'm just rambling incoherent stuff here#f/o: 🚂#2nd dimension doofenshmirtz#Youtube
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I do try hard to be brave about being an adult but just when I think I may get the hang of it at last I get one mildly not great phone call that makes me so anxious I want to throw up so perhaps I should reconsider becoming a strange hermit in the woods that gives unsolicited advice to travellers
#like its not even definitive news about anything#just a potential scheduling conflict at the place i may get a fuckin. minimum work job at#but just the implication by a stranger I may have done something Wrong or Bad flips a switch in my brain#and all i want to do is to hide in a hole for the next seven years under a pile of blankets#I wanted to study more for my exam but I couldnt focus for nearly 2 hours because my brain chemistry is just broken i think#how tf am i gonna get a career like this lol#my stuff#ok to rb
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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