#and its no college essay so its like whatever
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i dont think he's shadow's best va but i think david humphrey definitely suits his character best (at least my version of how canon shadow should act). he has the ability to sound menacing but isn't overly aggressive; he can be gentle when needs be.
i particularly like his more monotone performance adds to it because it isnt so far as to sound unenthusiastic (as an actor) but it gives off the feeling that he's uninterested to those who don't know him, portraying the misunderstood side well. at the same time this adds to shadow being easy to view as autistic, which is obviously going to please me, an autistic person, and help me relate.
im glad he's not the exclusive VA for shadow, because i dont think he would have thrived in his more "edgy" mischaracterisations later (NOT counting shth because even if it is ridiculously edgy at times THE WHOLE! POINT! OF THAT GAME! IS THAT THE PLAYER! DECIDES! SHADOW'S! MOTIVES!). even when shadow is portrayed in a more nuanced light, eg 06, prime, it isn't quite the same way as he was in sa2 and heroes. neither have a major focus on maria or anything to do with the ark in shadow's story, and while heroes doesn't either, i think with the general tone of the game (and also with it being aimed at a younger demographic) shadow does get to express himself way differently through the level dialogue, a more informal way of communicating character, than in cutscene dialogue.
to be fair i have never played 06 so i dont know the level dialogue in that!!! but also out of the 3 iterations i just listed that one has the oldest target audience (heroes is PEGI 3, prime would probably be PEGI 7 and 06 is PEGI 12). and obviously theres no level dialogue in prime lol.
anyway hope you enjoyed my yapping about david humphrey shadow 👉👈
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lesbegays · 8 months ago
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sometimes i remember the time that a professor told me my essay was the most interesting and insightful in the class and then i started skipping that class and couldn’t bring myself to turn in any more essays to her and i’m like damn i should go back to therapy and deal with that
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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sacrificialmutt · 3 months ago
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i was so confident that my bsf and i would never end bc we never fight- i never accounted for simply drifting. oops 😋😋
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awrkive · 1 year ago
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[DRABBLE] COLD NIGHTS & BLURRED LINES (m) — JJK.
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you were used to jungkook making the first move every single time but this particular night, you couldn't help but change things up a little bit.
PAIRING jungkook x (fem) reader
GENRE r18+ (minors dni pls)
WORD COUNT 4.1k (this is def not a drabble anymore but its like 70% smut anyway saur 🤷🏼‍♀️)
WARNINGS/MISC jk in grey tracksuit 😢 oc is not a procrastinator everybody booed. kinda domestic vibes everyone wants to have what they have including ms delusional me !! this is my literally me fic kinda (this is literally just oc thirsting over jungkook OEBDIDHSJEB) also imagine 3D jungkook guys.... 🙏🏼 smut warnings: oral s*x (m&f receiving, 69 position), penetrative s*x, multiple positions, overst*mulation, creampies, unprotected s*x (dont fls 🙏🏼)
NOTES heyyy so i reread cnbl last night and scrolled thru unanswered messages on my inbox and found these 2 (amongst many IEBDIDHSHD) drabble reqs for cnbl and decided to write it bcs i love and miss them!! unfortunately i lost my ao3 password and i have nowhere to post this so whatever im gonna start posting here again LMFAOOOO. anyway, i hope u guys enjoy this 💗 this is most esp dedicated to the second anon i hate college as well i hope this drabble brings you joy ☺️
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‼️CN&BL FULL FIC CAN BE READ HERE
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You missed who you were thirty minutes ago.
Before Jungkook arrived, you were extremely focused on the essay you've been stalling to get done since last week.
You were set on finishing the paper tonight, determined to submit it a day prior to the deadline – which is two days from now. You've never been a procrastinator and you wouldn't dare start now. But ever since Jungkook called, arriving a little over five minutes after your conversation on the phone and entering your dorm room, you have never been the same. Gone was your will to finish your essay; it yeeted out the window the moment he came in.
It wasn't that he was doing anything wrong, per se. He wasn't pestering you or doing anything to distract you from doing whatever it was you were doing. During the phone call, Jungkook told you he just wanted to hang around and you were in on it. "As long as I finish this essay without you doing anything funny" – that, was what you said. Joking, a little pointed, when he came barging in your door, socks on and hair still slightly wet from the shower he most probably had at his own apartment.
When you said those words, the goof just wiggled his brows, smirking with a look of mischief written all over his face, and then kissed you in such an unnecessarily passionate way that had you internally keening when he broke away. That gave you an initial idea that he would, indeed, do some funny business. If you were honest to yourself, you wouldn't have really minded that at all.
That was thirty minutes ago. Jungkook surprisingly hasn't tried to touch you at all for the past thirty minutes. In the present, he is just sprawled on your bed watching something on your stupid iPad, airpods plugged in both ears, letting you work in peace on your laptop.
Thirty minutes ago, that would've been fine. Because ultimately, you could focus on your essay and finish it then pass it way before the deadline but no, your problem right this moment does not lie on phonology, it lies on why does Jungkook have to lean his back on the headboard, thick eyebrows meeting each other every now and then as he watched his movies, and put that white t-shirt and grey sweatpants on himself?
You've been having an internal battle with yourself trying to fight the urge to look over your shoulders for him every three damn minutes, groaning quietly as you thought about how Jungkook looked so ridiculously hot doing the bare minimum. Literally nothing. He was doing absolutely nothing. And he was making you feel weird in your belly!
Wait. Is it your period? It ended two weeks ago, though, so that is definitely not that. Maybe you are ovulating? You'd have to check your flow app.
Absent-mindedly, you let out the begrudging moan you've been trying to hide.
"God."
As if alarmed, Jungkook suddenly shoots up and speaks after what felt like centuries.
"You okay? Am I bothering you here?" He said, voice dripping with honey and face full of concern. You got even hornier.
Oh my god. You wanted to cry.
You send him a tight-lipped smile. "I'm fine. And uh, no. You're good."
Jungkook doesn't pry further and goes back to his binge. Meanwhile, you force yourself to think of something.
Another long five minutes later, and you are still halfway done with your essay. The unfinished document only seems to taunt you. So, you let out another sigh, quite quiet this time so you don't make Jungkook think he was being an inconvenience. You made up your mind and just decided to give in to your urges.
You shut your laptop down instead of pressing sleep as you are sure there is no way you can do any more work tonight.
Standing up from your seat, you approach Jungkook on your bed.
He looks up at you the moment you hovered over him, taking his eyes off the iPad. When the mattress dips from your weight, Jungkook's lips stretch into a cute smile.
Your horniness dissipates a little over his adorable face.
"Done?" He asks, lifting a hand over your face to tuck a strand of hair away that you didn't even notice. You shake your head. Jungkook leans down to kiss your cheek. "So, tired?"
You scrunch your nose. "Kinda."
He kisses your mouth when a pout forms there.
"Eaten anything yet?" Jungkook scoots over to the side to make room on the bed for you. You fit yourself in the space, albeit tight (this was a dorm room, alright), and Jungkook is quick to slide his arm under your neck while he still holds the iPad on the other.
"Just reheated some leftover pasta from last night." You cringe over your last meal. It didn't taste good at all but you were way too hungry and delivery took forever to your dorm.
Jungkook seems to know that that pasta was shit, but he doesn't comment on that. Just hums and kisses the side of your head.
Ugh.
"Wanna order something in? Thai?" He suggests, looking at you.
But right now, eating Thai or whatever is the last thing on your mind. Though you would like to eat something else.
You tell him so. Except the last part, of course. Please. You have decorum.
"Uhm, no. I think I'll pass on that. Unless you haven't eaten." you say, playfully pointing a finger to his chest.
"Nah, Taehyung cooked dinner. I'm pretty full." Jungkook says, chuckling.
You had a smart remark on your tongue, something along the lines of, "Then why'd you offer to eat if you already have, weirdo" but to be honest with yourself, you already knew why. Jungkook liked seeing you eat. Dude practically buys most of your meals, now that you think about it.
But your still horny-adled brain went to go and tell your hand to search for his bare stomach under his shirt. And so it did. Forget about having decorum, shame is out the door when you press your palm to the flat surface of his stomach.
"Doesn't feel full at all." You commented, feeling the hard ridges of his abs. You hate them right now. But you would also really, really, like to see them.
Jungkook only chuckles at that. Before he can say anything, you ask him, "Hey, quick question."
"Hm?"
"Can I suck your dick?"
"Huh?" Jungkook, ever the man he is, put the iPad away for the first time since he's been here. Confused, but still, you could not have mistaken the look of pure interest in his face the moment you asked him that.
"I want to suck your dick, if you let me." You say, clearing yourself up. You are putting on a brave face, but internally, you are screaming.
So what if this thing between you has been happening for like… ten months now, almost a year? Jungkook was usually the one to always initiate sex and blowjobs were almost a rare occurrence in your sex life because you told him it hurt your knees but the real reason was because you didn't think you were very good at it. Jungkook never asks for it either, and sometimes you feel bad for only reciprocating handjobs during oral sex quickies but! He never says anything about it so maybe that was fine? Anyway, it's not like this is gonna be your first time sucking him. It's just the first time you initiated with your own words.
"Oh, you're serious?" Jungkook scoots over to his side and lays sideways to prop himself up. "Really?" He has an excited smile on, and you know that because of the way his eyes crinkle.
"Don't make me repeat it." You say pointedly, pushing him a little bit. Jungkook doesn't even budge at the slight attack, only holds your hands in his.
"No, I just… I thought you said no fooling around tonight." He says.
You shrug. "Yeah, well."
You don't expect him to tug you closer to him using his hold on you, and you were thankful you managed to suppress a loud squeal when he laid on his back and caught your whole body on top of his.
"I guess you can't resist my charm, after all." Jungkook says, grabbing a handful of your ass.
"Jungkook, please, you're scaring my lady boner off." You roll your eyes as you adjust yourself on top of him to get more comfortable.
"Take care of my gentleman boner then, baby." He counters and just because of that you avoid the kiss he was about to give you.
"Don't ever say gentleman boner ever again." You pinch his nipple and he let out a laugh at your petty retort. You knew he was sensitive there. But even then, you were starting to feel the growing need concealed under his sweats, and you were set on giving him the blowjob of his life tonight for some reason.
"I have a suggestion to make," Jungkook says suddenly, stopping you from crawling down to his body. You arch your brow at him, he continues, "I don't think we've ever tried sixty-nine, yet, haven't we? Because I also really want to eat you out right now."
"Oh, well, yeah…" you nod. You find yourself heating up at the way he casually tells you the last part.
"So…?"
You haven't really tried that either, and not just with him, but also with your other sex partners that only really summed up to less than four people, and that's including Jungkook. Anyway, the sixty-nine position sounded interesting.
"Okay, sure." You shrug.
"Fuck, you're the best."
This time, you give in to the kiss he gives you and pretty much after that it turns into a heavy make-out session with Jungkook fondling your boobs underneath your overused highschool PE shirt while you ground down against his erection that only kept growing harder as seconds passed.
You are panting when you break away, a string of saliva in between your lips, breathing for some air. Jungkook kisses his way down your neck, suckling on your skin and soothing it with his tongue.
"Take your shirt off," you say, already impatiently tugging at the hem of his clothing.
Without a word, Jungkook frees himself from the fabric. "You too, and your panties. Please."
You chuckle at the "please" but nonetheless straddle him to take your shirt off. Jungkook looks up at you with hooded eyes, massaging the bare skin of your waist as you wriggle your hair out of the neckline. He grips your waist as you lift your bum off his stomach, pulling your panties and shorts down in one go one leg to another.
"Shit," Jungkook hissed at the sight of your glistening pussy that has gotten wet overtime, hands roaming all over your body like he doesn't really know where to touch. Always fascinated and in awe with what you show him, always so eager, so touchy. And you always love his undivided attention. Makes you feel like a princess for some reason. Doesn't help that he calls you that sometimes, too.
"Oh, fuuck," he groaned when you sat on his stomach. You couldn't help but let out a quiet moan, too, feeling his hot skin and your cold pussy touching together. "Angel, fuck, come here, let me kiss you."
You lean down to kiss him and he quickly reciprocates, his tongue entering your parted mouth, swirling and licking inside, taking your breath away. You could feel yourself smearing your wet mess on his abs but you couldn't really care less, not when Jungkook looked like he couldn't, too, squeezing every inch of you he could get his hands on. And they were everywhere, alright. Your breasts, your waist, hips, ass, his thumb on the inside of your thighs, all the while kissing you like he was hungry for it.
Jungkook jostles you a little when he lifts himself up a little to slide down the grey sweatpants you have a love and hate relationship with, his dick shooting up his abdomen and touching your ass as a result.
He stops kissing you.
"Alright, one more minute of you grinding against me will make me nut. Sit on my face now, baby."
Blood shoots up your cheeks, making you feel hot. A little funny, given what you are doing right now. But he can't just be so casual about it! He was asking you to sit on his face like he was telling you the grass is green. Regardless, you kiss him one last time.
"Don't suffocate." You warned him, already reversing your position as easily as you can so that your back is facing him.
You hear Jungkook chuckling from behind. "Please, I'll die happily suffocating in this pussy."
"Please don't talk about dying." You deflect, already feeling so shy about the whole thing. Indeed it was your first time to try this position, and you quite didn't know how to act. You wonder if he's done this already in the past, but found yourself irritated at the thought of him doing this with anybody else. You'd have to assess what that feeling of irritation means later.
"Hmm," Jungkook hums, grabbing the globes of your ass and fondling them before you could even properly place your knees on both sides of his head. With his hold on the flesh, he pulls you closer to him until you feel his breath on your core. "Ah, shit, will never get tired of this pussy, baby. Fuck, you're so wet."
You try to focus your attention on his hard dick against his stomach, veiny and rigid, red at the tip and shining with pre-cum. Wrapping your fingers around the base, you lean down a little more so that you can begin teasing him.
But Jungkook beats you down to it as he licks a long stripe across your pussy. It has you keening and stumbling a little over, feeling so good at the contact of his tongue against your sex. You hear him hiss before he says, "Come on, pretty, sit on my face, don't hover."
You hesitate before giving in, and Jungkook is quick to continue the ministrations of his tongue on your pussy. The position was so new to you but you couldn't help but think it was so good, feeling him this way, albeit still a little conscious about cutting off his air supply. But as Jungkook starts licking and sucking, you remember his cock in your hand and it prompts you to stroke him up and down; slow, because your mind is cloudy from the way you could hear the slick of your pussy from Jungkook's licking.
Leaning down, you kiss the head of his cock, licking his pre-cum off the top. There was Jungkook's groan again, and you thought that was a good sign, then continued to suck his tip a little just to see it getting even redder.
Jungkook suddenly gets more aggressive in the ministrations of his tongue, from his slow yet precise strokes, he starts increasing speed, fingers getting tighter on your asscheeks, the tip of his tongue prodding at your entrance giving you a taste of being full.
It prompted you to whimper, Jungkook only humming, seemingly pleased with himself. Letting out a shaky breath, you resume stroking his cock, twisting your fingers around the base. Soon, you lean even closer so that you can wrap your lips around the head.
Jungkook's groan was a pure sinful sound of pleasure as you did so. Nevermind that he was having his own feast on your pussy, you were determined to make him cum. And to do that was to suck on the tip gently at first, swirling your tongue on the cum that's building up on it. You joined the motion of it with your hand stroking the shaft up and down, cheeks hollowed and sucking the air in your mouth to create a suction that has Jungkook slightly jolting in his position.
"Oh, fuck yeah, baby, that's it, you're so good at this… shit," He says behind you, moving his mouth off your pussy and replacing it with two fingers. Jungkook slides them in easily, the squelching sound so apparent it cannot be mistaken for anything else if there was anybody but you two in the room. "You like this, baby? Hm? You're taking my fingers and my cock so well."
You moaned around his cock, heat starting to spread all over your body as Jungkook began to join his digits with his own mouth, devouring your pussy like he always does when he goes down. You start losing your rhythm on his cock, choking on it a third time now as you haven't really managed to fit it all in your mouth. You've always tried to, but he's always been a little too big for you. If it was a skill issue, you didn't care, Jungkook enjoys it just as much as you do.
When Jungkook rubs your clit, that's when you start shaking on your knees, threatening to crumble down.
As if he knew what was coming, Jungkook suddenly says, "Don't come yet, baby, not now." and you swear you would have actually cried.
What you didn't expect is Jungkook suddenly sitting up, his hands gripping your hips so that you don't jostle on top of him. You let go of his dick as he slides you off his body, and you let him manhandle you into sitting on his cock that slides in too easily like your pussy was fine silk. You now sit on top of him in what seems to be like a reverse cowgirl position, except that you aren't the one in control of your own movements.
"Oh, K-kook – Jungkook!" you yelped as he bounced you on his rigid dick, your body melting against his.
"Shh, take my cock, angel. You can do that for me, right? You're so pretty right now, I wish you could see yourself." Jungkook whispers against your hair, and you pathetically nod, craning your neck up at him to seek for his mouth. He smiles at you, the gentle nature of it so contrasting to the way he was controlling your hips, bouncing you in and out of his cock. "My pretty little angel."
He kisses you passionately, and as seconds passed his hands began to travel upwards to cup your breast, fondling it in his hand and pinching your nipple. You also started to initiate your pwn movements, meeting Jungkook's thrusts from below you, all the whole moaning in his mouth at the pleasure of his cock touching every crevice of your pussy.
The feeling of this never gets old even if you've done it exclusively and quite constantly with each other for the past ten months. Sex with Jungkook is always just so intense it always keeps you on your toes.
"K-kook, I'm cumming," you gasped in his mouth, feeling that build up in your belly
"Hm," Jungkook leaves your boob in favor of your pussy. Kissing you one last time on the mouth, he leans against your shoulder to watch as he spreads your nether lips. You look down to his hand there, fingers spreading the lips apart witnessing your own hole getting split open by his engorged cock. The sight was so lewd and obscene you couldn't help your moan. Then, Jungkook begins rubbing your clit again, fast and with a purpose, this time to make you finish. And he finally gives you the green light to do so. "You can cum now, baby."
And as if prompted by his simple words, you came, feeling a gush of wetness coming out of your pussy. You watch the way Jungkook kept his fingers in there, massaging your hole and kissing your neck.
"Jungkook…" you bury your face into the crook of his neck as you come down from your high, pussy throbbing and spasming from the intense feeling of cumming. He did edge you from when he ate you out.
"Good girl."
And again, Jungkook changes your position. From sitting up, you are now laid against the bed again, with him switching your positions so now he's the one hovering and you underneath him. He grabs your hips up and enters your pussy once again, sliding his cock in and out to chase his own orgasm. Your moans only encourage him to go faster, his grunts filling the room.
"Oh, that's it, Kook, you come for me too." You say, reaching for his stomach with one hand and fondling your own boob with other for his own consumption. Jungkook always liked seeing you play with them.
"Yeah, you're so sexy like that," he says, even picking up his speed higher.
Soon, he was cumming with a pained groan, and you didn't expect to cum a second time the same time he did.
Another gush of slickness slides down your pussy while Jungkook pulled out completely. But he was putting it in again a second later, rubbing his dick against your core. You sigh, partly at the sensitivity but also how pleasurable it all still felt even though you've come twice now in the span of almost what? – thirty minutes? Maybe an hour?
"Pretty fucking pussy you've got here, baby," Jungkook says before pushing his cum back into you, making you cry out. "Never gonna get enough of this. Of you."
You whimpered, clinging to his forearms as he continued his actions.
"Cum for me one more time?" He asks, staring deeply into your eyes.
And you couldn't possibly do that. Coming twice was not at all what you envisioned your night to be, thrice was a heart attack. But at the same time, you couldn't really resist his pleading eyes and his deep voice and his still hard cock pushing his creampie deeper into you.
So you nod your head, and Jungkook leans down to swipe the strand of hairs that sprouted all over your face overtime, wet on the hairline from your sweat, just before he slides his cock all the way in again, repeating that in and out routine, the slamming and the bottoming out, the quickening oh his pace and your toes curling once again that impeded your orgasm for the third time that night.
When you finished, exhausted and spent the fuck out, Jungkook laid on your boobs and kissed all over, playing with one of your nipples in his other hand. You were flat on the bed, dead weight, looking up at the ceiling and closing your eyes to cool yourself from what had just happened.
"Okay, that's enough, Kook, we gotta clean up." You say, massaging the soft curls on the top of his head.
He only let out a non-committal hum.
"Jungkook."
"Yes, baby?"
"Enough sex. I'm fried." You say, pulling his hair slightly to make him look up at you. But that was a bad decision of course 'cause he only seemed to enjoy the teasing.
"Just saying hello to these amazing boobs of yours." You rolled your eyes at his retort, nonetheless accepting it.
"Thanks, I guess."
Eventually, Jungkook stopped being clingy and finally found the will to fetch a wet rag from the bathroom. He cleaned you up and and you didn't bother dressing up except the panties you asked him to get for you. Soon after that, you cuddle together in bed.
"Hey," Jungkook suddenly whispers behind you, fingers massaging your hip, mouth press to your head. You hum. "I think we should do that more."
You try to look over your shoulder. "What? The sex?" you say, chuckling.
Jungkook pinches your hip. "Yeah, I told you we should have sex everyday. But that's not the point, I meant the sixty-nine."
"Well, first of all, having sex everyday is physically not possible," you roll your eyes though he couldn't see. "Second, I enjoyed that position, too. A little bit distracting, but definitely really enjoyable."
Jungkook agrees. "I think you just gave me the best blowjob of my life, if you wanna know."
"Really?" you confirmed, smiling up at him.
"Almost nutted when you sucked my head."
You chuckle, slapping his chest and roll your eyes again for how many times now?
"No but seriously…" Jungkook suddenly turns, indeed, serious. But he's still smiling, though, just a little less playful with his tone. "What was with you tonight? Did you finish that essay?"
Oh god, your essay. Right.
You feel your cheeks heat up a little remembering how you were basically thirsting over him him a while ago. And for no reason too.
Despite cringing internally, you shrug. "No, not really, but submission's two days from now and I just wanted to kiss you, I guess."
That made Jungkook's smile even bigger. He doesn't say anything more but only scoots even closer to your neck, kissing your hair.
"Hm, I always wanna kiss you too, and I do. But I love it when you ask for it."
You think you'll start doing it more, too.
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fursasaida · 1 year ago
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Hi! Just wanted to ask. How can I give my students assignments that are chat-gpt proof? Or that they won't just copy the answer without at least doing some editing?
Hi! So, I don't think anything is ChatGPT-proof. You fundamentally cannot stop people from using it to take a shortcut. You can't even stop them from copying the answer without editing it. However, I think you can work with this reality. So, you can do three things:
Don't be a cop about it.
If you make your objective "stop the children from using the thing to cheat," you are focusing on the wrong thing. You will be constantly scrutinizing every submission with suspicion, you will be accusing people of cheating--and some of them will not have cheated, and they will remember this forever--and you will be aiming at enforcement (which is trying to hold back the sea) instead of on inviting and supporting learning whenever and wherever possible. (I'll come back to this under item 2.)
Regarding why enforcement is holding back the sea: It is fundamentally rational for them to do this. We, who "love learning" (i.e. are good at what our academic system sees as learning, for various reasons have built our lives around that, happen to enjoy these activities), see everything they might cheat themselves of by doing it, because we know what we got out of doing this type of work. Many students, however--especially at the kind of school I teach at--are there to get the piece of paper that might, if they're lucky, allow them access to a relatively livable and stable income. The things that are wrong with this fact are structural and nothing to do with students' failings as people, or (tfuh) laziness, or whatever. We cannot make this not true (we can certainly try to push against it in certain ways, but that only goes so far). More pragmatically, chatgpt and similar are going to keep getting better, and detecting them is going to get harder, and your relationships with your students will be further and further damaged as you are forced to hound them more, suspect them more, falsely accuse more people, while also looking like an idiot because plenty of them will get away with it. A productive classroom requires trust. The trust goes both ways. Being a cop about this will destroy it in both directions.
So the first thing you have to do is really, truly accept that some of them are going to use it and you are not always going to know when they do. And when I say accept this, I mean you actually need to be ok with it. I find it helps to remember that the fact that a bot can produce writing to a standard that makes teachers worry means we have been teaching people to be shitty writers. I don't know that so much is lost if we devalue the 5-paragraph SAT essay and its brethren.
So the reason my policy is to say it's ok to use chatgpt or similar as long as you tell me so and give me some thinking about what you got from using it is that a) I am dropping the charade that we don't all know what's going on and thereby making it (pedagogical term) chill; b) I am modeling/suggesting that if you use it, it's a good idea to be critical about what it tells you (which I desperately want everyone to know in general, not just my students in a classroom); c) I am providing an invitation to learn from using chatgpt, rather than avoid learning by using it. Plenty of them won't take me up on that. That's fine (see item 3 below).
So ok, we have at least established the goal of coming at it from acceptance. Then what do you do at that point?
Think about what is unique to your class and your students and build assignments around that.
Assignments, of course, don't have to be simply "what did Author mean by Term" or "list the significant thingies." A prof I used to TA under gave students the option of interviewing a family member or friend about their experiences with public housing in the week we taught public housing. Someone I know who teaches a college biology class has an illustration-based assignment to draw in the artsier students who are in her class against their will. I used to have an extra-credit question that asked them to pick anything in the city that they thought might be some kind of clue about the past in that place, do some research about it, and tell me what they found out and how. (And that's how I learned how Canal St. got its name! Learning something you didn't know from a student's work is one of the greatest feelings there is.) One prompt I intend to use in this class will be something to the effect of, "Do you own anything--a t-shirt, a mug, a phone case--that has the outline of your city, state, or country on it? Why? How did you get it, and what does having this item with this symbol on it mean to you? Whether you personally have one or not, why do you think so many people own items like this?" (This is for political geography week, if anyone's wondering.)
These are all things that target students' personal interests and capabilities, the environments they live in, and their relationships within their communities. Chatgpt can fake that stuff, but not very well. My advisor intends to use prompts that refer directly to things he said in class or conversations that were had in class, rather than to a given reading, in hopes that that will also make it harder for chatgpt to fake well because it won't have the context. The more your class is designed around the specific institution you teach at and student body you serve, the easier that is to do. (Obviously, how possible that is is going to vary based on what you're teaching. When I taught Urban Studies using the city we all lived in as the example all through the semester, it was so easy to make everything very tailored to the students I had in that class that semester. That's not the same--or it doesn't work the same way--if you're teaching Shakespeare. But I know someone who performs monologues from the plays in class and has his students direct him and give him notes as a way of drawing them into the speech and its niceties of meaning. Chatgpt is never going to know what stage directions were given in that room. There are possibilities.) This is all, I guess, a long way of saying that you'll have a better time constructing assignments chatgpt will be bad at if you view your class as a particular situation, occurring only once (these people, this year), which is a situation that has the purpose of encouraging thought--rather than as an information-transfer mechanism. Of course information transfer happens, but that is not what I and my students are doing together here.
Now, they absolutely can plug this type of prompt into chatgpt. I've tried it myself. I asked it to give me a personal essay about the political geography prompt and a critical personal essay about the same thing. (I recommend doing this with your own prospective assignments! See what they'd get and whether it's something you'd grade highly. If it is, then change either the goal of the assignment or at least the prompt.) Both of them were decent if you are grading the miserable 5-paragraph essay. Both of them were garbage if you are looking for evidence of a person turning their attention for the first time to something they have taken for granted all their lives. Chatgpt has neither personality nor experiences, so it makes incredibly vague, general statements in the first person that are dull as dishwater and simply do not engage with what the prompt is really asking for. I already graded on "tell me what you think of this/how this relates to your life" in addition to "did you understand the reading," because what I care about is whether they're thinking. So students absolutely can and will plug that prompt into chatgpt and simply c/p the output. They just won't get high marks for it.
If they're fine with not getting high marks, then okay. For a lot of them this is an elective they're taking essentially at random to get that piece of paper; I'm not gonna knock the hustle, and (see item 1) I couldn't stop them if I wanted to. What I can do is try to make class time engaging, build relationships with them that make them feel good about telling me their thoughts, and present them with a variety of assignments that create opportunities for different strengths, points of interest, and ways into the material, in hopes of hooking as many different people in as many different ways as I can.
This brings me back to what I said about inviting learning. Because I have never yet in my life taught a course that was for people majoring in the subject, I long ago accepted that I cannot get everyone to engage with every concept, subject, or idea (or even most of them). All I can do is invite them to get interested in the thing at hand in every class, in every assignment, in every choice of reading, in every question I ask them. How frequently each person accepts these invitations (and which ones) is going to vary hugely. But I also accept that people often need to be invited more than once, and even if they don't want to go through the door I'm holding open for them right now, the fact that they were invited this time might make it more likely for them to go through it the next time it comes up, or the time after that. I'll never know what will come of all of these invitations, and that's great, actually. I don't want to make them care about everything I care about, or know everything I know. All I want is to offer them new ways to be curious.
Therefore: if they use chatgpt to refuse an invitation this week, fine. That would probably have happened anyway in a lot of cases even without chatgpt. But, just as before, I can snag some of those people's attention on one part of this module in class tomorrow. Some of them I'll get next time with a different type of assignment. Some of them I'll hook for a moment with a joke. I don't take the times that doesn't happen as failures. But the times that it does are all wins that are not diminished by the times it doesn't.
Actually try to think of ways to use chatgpt to promote learning.
I DREAM of the day I'm teaching something where it makes sense to have students edit an AI-written text. Editing is an incredible way to get better at writing. I could generate one in class and we could do it all together. I could give them a prompt, ask them to feed it into chatgpt, and ask them to turn in both what they got and some notes on how they think it could be better. I could give them a pretty traditional "In Text, Author says Thing. What did Author mean by that?" prompt, have them get an answer from chatgpt, and then ask them to fact-check it. Etc. All of these get them thinking about written communication and, incidentally, demonstrate the tool's limitations.
I'm sure there are and will be tons of much more creative ideas for how to incorporate chatgpt rather than fight it. (Once upon a time, the idea of letting students use calculators in math class was also scandalous to many teachers.) I have some geography-specific ideas for how to use image generation as well. When it comes specifically to teaching, I think it's a waste of time for us to be handwringing instead of applying ourselves to this question. I am well aware of the political and ethical problems with chatgpt, and that's something to discuss with, probably, more advanced students in a seminar setting. But we won't (per item 1) get very far simply insisting that Thing Bad and Thing Stupid. So how do we use it to invite learning? That's the question I'm interested in.
Finally, because tangential to your question: I think there's nothing wrong with bringing back more in-class writing and even oral exams (along with take-home assignments that appeal to strengths and interests other than expository writing as mentioned above). These assessments play to different strengths than written take-homes. For some students, that means they'll be harder or scarier; by the same token, for other students they'll be easier and more confidence-building. (Plus, "being able to think on your feet" is also a very good ~real-world skill~ to teach.) In the spirit of trying to offer as many ways in as possible, I think that kind of diversification in assignments is a perfectly good idea.
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caramelloss · 8 days ago
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please like or reblog if you'd like to be tagged!
hey guys! me again, i have a lilia x reader fic done! or at least the first part. this will be sort of long, tons of smut included, eventually. its a non-magic au, based on a student/professor dynamic. for the run down; lilia calderu is your philosophical study teacher in college. you skip class for the first few weeks, not really interested in a class with a bunch of university freshman, because the class was taken by mostly them. when you finally do decide to show up, your professor calls you out in front of the class, and tells you to stay after. she tells you she wants to see you in the class, and you notice some things about her that intrigue you. she assumes you're a stupid young adult, just doing whatever you want, but you're determined to show her you're much smarter than she thinks. you start going to every class she has, taking no notes, which seemed to annoy her. what seemed to surprise, aggravate, and maybe even impress lilia even more was how well you did on all of her assignments. they were all based on background research. just to spite you, to win this understood yet unspoken battle between the two of you, she assigns an essay based around creating your own philosophy for a construct of society. you, starting to find yourself thinking of your professor, always wondering what she was doing, if she thought of you, if you got under her skin as much as she got under yours, choose "competition", as your construct. the things you write are about her, about how she enrages but fuels you, and how competition can shape attraction and desire. she reads it, and she feels this desire for you. lilia had commented on everyone else's submissions in class besides yours, and you decide to ask about it one day after class, when you're alone with her. it's dangerous, mostly because the pull between you two is becoming too much to ignore. she tells you your construct and philosophy don't go together, and you become frustrated. you demand her to tell you why, so desperate for her to admit she thinks highly of you. she sits in her chair behind her desk, and asks you to leave. you don't accept it, and you try and get her to look at you. when she doesn't, you turn her chair, and you make her look at you. you expected to tell her off, because usually you would in this situation.. but something else happens. instead, you kiss her. one thing leads to another, and you find yourself in her bed. the rest of the fanfic just explores the power dynamic and sexual/romantic connection between lilia and yourself.
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outofconcheol · 4 months ago
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bloodline (JWW x F!Reader) - Teaser
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pairing: vampire professor!wonwoo x TA!reader
genres/aus/rating: romance, angst, smut, fantasy au, 18+
summary: Cursed to a solitary existence, Wonwoo seeks a cure for his condition - enlisting the help of his diligent teacher's assistant. However, you refuse to let Professor Jeon go through with the cure without first teaching him the wonders of having something worth living for. When your tired souls find solace in your shared loneliness, friendship (and something more) blooms. But what happens when that isn’t enough? When the secrets that both you and Wonwoo have been harboring finally catch up to you? Will you and Wonwoo make the most of every moment, or will the aftermath of his quest leave you both even lonelier than before?
warnings (to be updated with final fic): tw: this fic deals with Wonwoo being tired of his vampirism and essentially wanting to end his life as a vampire (whatever that may entail - stay tuned), mentions blood, Wonwoo has dark and depressing thoughts, that's all for now but just know we are in for a ride :)
word count: 619 for the teaser, TBD for final fic
a/n: I've been thinking about this for a long time, and with me wanting to write more for SVT, I decided it was finally time to take the plunge! Please note that this is going to be an angsty journey, with lots of inspiration from pieces such as Thirst (2009), Only Lovers Left Alive (2013), and the Vampire Tapestry by Suzie McKee Charnas. As always, if these themes are not for you, please take care of yourself (your wellbeing comes first always). Also, thank you to the lovely sèvn (@aaagustd/@xscoupsx) for the banner. I hope you enjoy!
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The bust sits in the corner of the office, nestled away in an alcove by the window. On sunnier days, when the light would hit it, the marble would reflect brilliantly, its ivory tones taking the appearance of an angel, a silent guardian watching over Wonwoo while he worked. Most of the time, it loomed in the shadows, its unsettling presence doing nothing more than to serve as a reminder that despite his physical appearance, Wonwoo was closer to the cold, unfeeling marble than he was to any of the human peers he’d encountered through the centuries.
Wonwoo can’t recall when in his travels he’d come across the statue, eight hundred years blurring together into a muddle, countless memories fading into oblivion, delicate threads disappearing in the intricate fabric of his mind. Maybe at one point it’d been a gift from a dear friend, or maybe even a lover, but Wonwoo simply couldn’t remember any of it at all. A lifetime of indulgence and hedonism meant that seeking pleasure had long lost its charm.
What more was there to study when Wonwoo had studied it all? From stepping into battle during the middle ages, joining the height of enlightenment during the Renaissance, and witnessing the advent of modern technology in the past century or so, Wonwoo had lingered in the background, slipping easily into the folds of human society. And it all lead him here, to this room that felt more like a box than an office, sifting through countless essays from a batch of college students who were as disinterested in learning about anthropology as Wonwoo had become with his own life.
Even now, he casts his gaze over to his faint reflection in the window, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, lean and lonely-looking. To the untrained eye, professor Jeon Wonwoo was the picture of innocence, milking the image of a solitary bachelor devoted to pursuing a lifetime of knowledge, much to the chagrin of many of his pupils. But Wonwoo saw what no one else did - the faint tinge of red in his eyes, a sign that he’d gone hungry for too long, the needle-like barb under his tongue that had known the taste of blood too many times. All signs of the monster that layed within. 
The efforts of concealing his true nature had finally caught up to him - the mask that he’d put on, feigning interest in human art, science, and culture finally slipping from his face. Simply put, Wonwoo was tired - restless from years of fighting the hunger, pretending that he cared for this life he’d crafted for himself. In reality, it was all a farce. Wonwoo had given up human blood long ago, but feasting on animals wasn’t enough to quell the burning inside him. 
In the end, he craved. Wonwoo was a thief, because he craved the one thing that was a lifesource for humans - their anima, their joie de vivre. He craved it because he didn’t have one of his own, nothing that drove him, that fueled him to keep going. Humans felt things - they felt happiness, sadness, anger and love. Emotions were so intertwined into the mesh of their lives that they craved any experiences that would give them more - from weddings and parties for families and friends, to random hook-ups, to even the thrill of dangerous situations. 
He’d read the essays his students had written - some of them talking about how humanity loved the society they’d crafted so much, that science was constantly coming up with new ways to prolong life, to keep on living. And yet, it didn’t move him. Wonwoo was tired of living just to live. Which is why he’d chosen to die.
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a/n pt. 2: if you'd like to be tagged, please let me know! I work a pretty busy job, so I'm not sure when the anticipated release date, will be, but I'm going to try to work on this as much as I can. As always, any comments or feedback are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi <3
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schoenpepper · 3 months ago
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Chivalry Should Die!
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Intro: Or, how to kill chivalry in five steps, featuring Idia Shroud!
Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread I got lazyyyy, mentions of hentai lmao, reader is not yuu, idia highkey being a loser
A/N: This is a request from an anon. Not sure if this is actually what they wanted, but if you're reading this I hope you like it. Kinda short idk I was really busy with that Jade songfic.
Masterlist
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Opening the door
As the heir of a kingdom, you've long since been trained to be respectful, etiquette and decorum seared into your flesh and carved into your bones. Perhaps with such an upbringing, Royal Sword Academy would have been for you.
But the invitation is black.
Your first day in Night Raven College is nothing too interesting. You're sorted into Ignihyde (ha!), your housewarden is a floating tablet, and some magicless folk with a rabid cat crashed orientation, starting off the year with a literal bang! You're unphased, a polite smile on your lips as you gather your things and your wits and line up to head to the dorm. You go through the mirror and up the stone stairs that led to the building in its weird mishmash of ancient architecture and blue triangles and holograms.
You, being the very kind person you are, open the door for the tablet.
It stops in mid-air.
"What...? Did you just open the door for a tablet? Lolz! Wtf you're such a weird freshie lmao. Imagine being that person, idk couldn't be me ig."
You keep on smiling.
(But the urge to punt the tablet all the way back to the hall of mirrors is strong.)
Carrying items
"Oh, let me help you, senpai."
"Huh? No, I'm okay..."
You glance at the large box, clearly heavy and stuffed to the brim by whatever was inside it and your senior slash housewarden who was doing his best to lug it up the stairs as he panted. "Are you sure? You look like you're having trouble." You watch him carry it to the second step.
"Totally fine, yep, nothing weird here, nope, nuh uh, I don't need help."
Idia avoids your eyes. The tips of his hair are turning a faint pink, and the fact that Ortho wasn't the one doing the heavy lifting was really the very first giveaway that something was wrong.
You narrow your eyes and step back.
"If you say so, Idia senpai. But why don't you just use—" he accidentally drops the box back onto the ground, watching, horrified, as its contents spilled out, "—magic to...carry it..."
"No, Y/N, don't look!"
You pick up a thick book from the pile on the ground to help him gather it all. Manga, was it? Upon accidentally reading the title, you give him the most disgusted look you could ever muster.
Idia screams until Ortho comes by to help him put his hentai manga back into the box.
Always be on time
You and Idia had agreed; 4 p.m. Not too early, not too late to work on that essay you needed to pass by tomorrow. He's a good friend and upperclassman if nothing else, so he offered to help you with the topic, which was included in his wide range of expertise. The catch is that you had to do it in his room.
You knock on the door at exactly 4.
No answer.
You take out your phone and send him a quick message. When he doesn't immediately answer, you call Ortho instead.
"Hello, Y/N!"
"Hey Ortho, do you know where Idia is? He promised to help me with an essay and he's not in his room."
"Older brother and I are in the Shaftlands!"
You smile (instead of cracking your phone into pieces). "Really? And when did you leave?"
"We left this morning because there's a comic convention that brother wanted to go to."
"I see. Thank you, Ortho."
Help getting down from a carriage
You hop down the carriage and hold out a hand to Idia. He looks at your hand weirdly, hair pink as he murmurs something you couldn't quite understand (you just know it's something annoying though). He gingerly puts his hand on yours and carefully descends from the carriage.
And by carefully, you mean, of course, that he lets go of your hand halfway and trips on the stairs before faceplanting into the dirt.
You sigh and carry him in your arms.
"Eek! Is this a limited edition SSR CG?!"
"What?"
"I mean, where are you taking me?"
You look at him dead in the eye and press on his left ankle.
"Ouch! Oh...okay..."
Paying for a date
First date! You don't know how, but you managed to convince Idia to eat out in a fancy restaurant with you (if only because you know that he will never agree to anything like this ever again). The food is nice and the ambience is tolerable even though the two of you are in a public space (you chose a private room but to Idia it's still a public space apparently). At the end of the night, the waiter puts the bill on the table and leaves.
"I'll take the—" When your hand reaches for the check, Idia grasps onto your wrist.
"No."
"No?"
He shakes his head.
"I'll pay for it because...you asked me out so...it's only fair..."
"No, it's unbecoming of a royal to not even pay for their partner's food."
He is weirdly competitive about this.
Anyway, at the end of the night, the check accidentally rips in half (the waiter wonders why) and you successfully pay for the full meal.
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blossom-hwa · 3 months ago
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in the absence of heartbeats | k.th
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pairing: Taehyun x gender neutral!reader genre: angst, fluff, vampire!taehyun, medium!reader warnings: violence word count: 4.8k notes: — been thinking of this idea for a while but the idea of writing a whole fic for it is very tiring so I decided to just write out this scene lol — for some clarification, my definition of a "medium" is just someone who can see and speak to ghosts! nothing more than that :) After a harrowing night, you find comfort in the cold arms of one with no heartbeat, but much warmth in his heart. 
TXT Masterlist
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It's close to two in the morning when you finally decide to leave the library. Your eyes are burning from the light of your computer and there's an ache in your neck from hunching over a desk for way too long, so even though you're not quite done with your essay you end up calling it quits. You haven't written anything substantial in the last half hour anyway. 
All the while you're packing up, a prickle of unease won't stop rippling up and down your spine. It doesn't stop when you leave the room, footsteps echoing loudly in the halls, nor does it stop when you actually exit the library and step into the cool night air. A light wind breezes past your face, but it doesn't soothe you like it normally does after hours spent cramped in one of the quiet study rooms. You find yourself tensing up instead.
Experience tells you not to ignore the feeling. If the hair on your neck is standing up, it means something. What it could mean right now, you aren't sure—you've left the library late and made the short trek back to your apartment many times without issue—but something is wrong. 
You look out at your dark campus, its sidewalks lit only by lamps and the moon. You look back at the library and its windows full of warm light. Almost unconsciously, you find yourself drawing the silver knife you always keep tucked away. You feel a little safer with the blade in your hand, but the prickle of unease doesn't fade away.
It's just so...empty. So quiet. Which shouldn't be that weird—it's nearly two in the morning, of course campus is going to be empty and quiet—but something about tonight's silence still feels unsettling. You glance around the expanse of campus again, and then it hits you. 
There are no ghosts. 
Instantly all of your exhaustion disappears, replaced by a heightened wariness at the situation. There aren't many ghosts who linger at your university—not compared to other places, at least—but there are usually a few hanging around. In fact, you've never been in an open place where there no ghosts, period. As you scan the campus perimeter again, your heart begins to race when you confirm that there are indeed no ghosts around, not even one trailing morosely over the quad.
Ghosts go where they wish. They usually tend to linger around their place of death or somewhere important to them when they were alive, but that's by their own choice. They're not bound to any one place like so many people believe. For them all to be avoiding your campus...
What—or who—could have chased them all away?
You swallow. Whoever they are, whatever they are, you don't want to meet them. Which means you need to get out of here as soon as possible.
So you hurry down the library steps, then start speed walking back to your apartment as fast as you can. It's just fifteen minutes away. You'll be fine. 
Except, five minutes in, you realize that you haven't left the strange absence of ghosts behind. 
In fact, it might just be following you. 
You fight the urge to look back. Someone or something must be following you, but who the fuck would follow you from the library back to your apartment? Why the fuck would anyone want to? As far as anyone except a select group of people knows, you're just a regular college student struggling through finals week like the rest of them. The people who know you can see ghosts, or who at least know that something about you is linked to the supernatural, have no reason to follow you home. 
Except...
Except one.
Your heart drops. Sanya. The guy who's been pestering you for weeks—the guy who asked you once if you could see ghosts, and who kept trying to catch you unawares to ask over and over and over again. Each time you said no. Each time you asked if he was feeling alright in the head. You're a good actor and you know it, but he just wasn't buying it for whatever reason until a couple weeks ago when you finally blew up on him and told him to stop invading your damn space. He hasn't bothered you since then, so you thought he finally believed you, or at least got the message to leave you alone.
Maybe not, though. You didn't think he was unhinged enough to have chased away all ghosts by virtue of his presence, but right now you have to consider all possibilities. Desperation can make people do crazy things. Talking to ghosts...you should know that.
You should've stayed back at the library with its warm glow and well-lit rooms. At least there was a security guard there. But you didn't know, and it's too late to go back. All you can do is keep going and hope you make it back to your apartment before Sanya—or whatever it is that's following you—gets you first.
...The streets are really quiet right now.
The sick taste of fear rises in your throat. You're already walking as fast as you can but you try to go a little faster, all the while clenching your knife so tightly your knuckles feel like they might split. With shaking hands, you also pull out your phone and dial a number as fast as you can with numb fingers. Answer, you pray. Please answer, please, please please—
The call goes through. 
"Hey, Kai," you say as normally as you can. Thank god, thank god, thank god—Kai won't ask questions, and he'll catch on easily. "Where are you? I'm just ten minutes away—"
"Y/N?"
That's not Kai. 
That's Taehyun. Taehyun who always felt a little strange to you, a bit like a ghost but physical and solid and real. Taehyun who has no heartbeat. Taehyun who laughed when you confronted him about it, and challenged you to figure out what kind of supernatural creature he is without him telling you. Taehyun who found you talking to a ghost and asked what kind of supernatural ties you have, which birthed the stupid little bet between you two about who would figure out the other's identity first. Taehyun who is infuriating. Taehyun who is kind.
Taehyun, who is a friend and can still help.
"Oh, hey Taehyun," you say, praying your voice stays steady. "Kai's not there?"
"He went to the convenience store and left his phone," Taehyun replies. "Did you need him? He'll be back in a few."
"No, I—just letting you all know that I'll be at his place in ten minutes," you say. "I'm at 117th, was just heading back from the library. Sorry—" And here your voice catches, like an idiot—"Sorry I'm so late, I just got caught up with an essay."
Taehyun remains silent for a second. Then—
"Y/N, are you okay?"
A sob almost bursts out of your mouth, catching you by surprise. You're so scared—your heart is racing faster with every street you pass that is still devoid of ghosts—you hadn't realized it until he asked that simple question, are you okay, but you're scared. So scared. 
"No," you say lowly. "I think someone, or something, is following me." You swallow hard around the fear rising in your throat. "There—there aren't any ghosts."
"Ghosts?"
"I'll explain later," you say, panic creeping into your voice. "I don't know who or what is fucked up enough to have them all avoiding the area, but I think it's following me and I'm still like ten minutes away from the apartment and I'm freaking out—"
All the hairs on your neck stand up. 
MOVE.
You don't even think before flinging yourself to the side just as something—someone—barrels into the space you just occupied. 
You're back on your feet in a second but so is the figure that jumped out at you. Adrenaline rushes through your veins and you start sprinting, clutching your knife like a lifeline—and all the while Taehyun's yelling into the phone, asking what's going on, but between the running and the adrenaline you don't have enough breath to answer except with sharp gasps—
Something lands heavily on your back. You go tumbling down and your knee explodes in pain. Your phone skitters onto the street but you still have your knife, which you swing wildly until it connects with flesh and the mass pinning you down lets go, if only slightly, with a sharp yell. Kicking out your good leg, you manage to pull yourself free, ignoring the sick squelch of flesh as you drag the knife out with you. 
You force yourself to stand. A streetlamp illuminates an unpleasantly familiar face contorted in pain as he also rises, blood flowing freely down one arm. 
"Y/N," Sanya says, and you take a step backward even as your knee screams. "Y/N, I just wanted to talk to you—"
"What the fuck?" you snarl. Your hands are shaking so much you wonder how the knife hasn't fallen to the ground yet. "You want to talk, so you follow me home from the library and try to attack me—"
"You wouldn't talk to me otherwise!"
"Because you keep asking me about ghosts, ghost, fucking ghosts—where the fuck did you get the idea that I can talk to them? Where did you even get the idea that they were real?" You point your knife at him, praying that he doesn't see how badly you're shaking. "I've told you so many times to just leave me the fuck alone—"
"I saw you talking to one," he interrupts, lips curling in a snarl. "I saw you—don't deny it! You were talking to one after class, I heard you call it by name. Lilia." Sanya takes a deep breath. "Lilia Taylor. Committed suicide almost thirty years ago. She's dead, and you were talking to her. Don't fucking deny it!"
You can't say anything. Your voice isn't working. You can only stand there in horror, because there is a ghost named Lilia and you've definitely spoken to her before, even if you can't quite remember the specific occasion he's talking about. 
You're fucked. So fucked. In the past ten years, you've only made the mistake of being caught talking to a ghost twice. You learned that lesson from childhood. Taehyun thankfully ended up being harmless. But Sanya—
He must take your silence for affirmation, because his voice turns desperate, more pleading than anything, and it breaks your heart. "Please, Y/N," he begs. "I just—I just want to talk to my mother. One more time. I didn't—didn't get to say goodbye before she died, it was too fast, I just want to talk to her one more time—"
You shake your head. "I can't do that," you say roughly. "That's—that's not how it works. I only see ghosts. I can speak to them but I can't command them to talk to me. I can't even speak to a specific one if I don't know where to find them first, and that's assuming they're here. That they haven't passed on." You swallow. "I'm sorry. I couldn't speak to your mother for you even if I tried."
For a long moment, Sanya remains silent, his head bowed. You hold your breath. He'll understand. He has to. He can't—can't force you to do something you can't do in the first place. Right?
Slowly, he lifts his head. You take a deep breath, ready to continue soothing, until you see the glimmer of menace in his eyes. 
"You're lying," he snarls. "You're lying."
"I am not lying," you snap, anger and adrenaline powering your voice. "I can't do it. If there even is a way, which I doubt, I don't know it—"
"YOU'RE LYING!"
This time you don't manage to dodge. Your fucked up knee buckles and the full force of his weight knocks you straight to the ground. Your knife clatters on concrete. Your head smacks the sidewalk and pain explodes in your skull but Sanya doesn't even seem to register the blood running down your face as he jerks your head back up. "You're lying," he hisses, staring straight into your eyes. "You fucking liar. You know you can, you have to—"
"I can't," you snarl back through the pain. "I can't! And no matter how much you fuck me up, you can't make me do something I do not know how to do!"
"You can see ghosts!" His voice is rising, hysteria coating every word. "You can talk to them! You have to be able to do this, you have to—"
"I can't!" you scream. "I can't fucking do it! What else do you want me to say, Sanya, what the fuck else?"
"I want you to STOP LYING!"
For a moment, there's just the night air, the silence, your heavy breaths snarling through the air. You blink blood out of your eyes, silver flashing in the corner of your vision. Your knife. If you stretch just a little, maybe you can get to it.
You try to focus on Sanya, even though two of him are starting to swim in your vision. "You're crazy," you say quietly, stretching out your fingers. "You're crazy—crazy enough that even ghosts avoid you. You can't force me to do something that I just can't do. You can't bring your mother back." Almost there—you can feel the handle at your fingertips. "You don't even know if she's still here! She's probably already passed on!"
"Shut up!" he screams, and your head hits the sidewalk again with a sickening crunch that echoes in your ears. There goes the knife, you think vaguely. "Shut up, shut up—you're lying, you're fucking lying—"
He raises your head again, and you brace yourself for another hit. But just as you feel yourself going down again, all of Sanya's weight leaves you at once. 
Body numb, vision blurring, you manage to lift yourself up just enough to see Sanya splayed out on the street, a familiar figure standing over him. Your hands aren't cooperating much so you can't wipe the blood out of your eyes, but from this angle it looks like...
Taehyun?
The figure turns just enough for lamplight to fall on its face and your breath catches in your throat. It's Taehyun, but it—it's not. Taehyun doesn't have gold eyes that glimmer in the moonlight. Taehyun doesn't have fangs that extend past his lips, shimmering white against the night. Taehyun doesn't move that fast, doesn't have nails that shred right through skin, doesn't have a voice that could produce that deep snarl from his chest as he stands over Sanya's prone body like a predator in the night.
Out of the muddled mess of your mind, one word emerges. Vampire. 
Of all the times to figure it out, why now?
Your weak lungs heave out something like a laugh. Taehyun's head jerks towards you and then all in a second, you're being gathered up in strong, familiar arms. The fangs have disappeared but his eyes remain a glittering gold, mesmerizing, and your aching head just wants you to sink into them forever but Taehyun's talking and he keeps on talking and it's really hard to just let your eyes close and relax when his voice is so distracting—
"Y/N. Y/N!" He's shaking you now, and fuck that hurts. You must make some sound of protest because he stops, thankfully, but then those gold eyes are suddenly so close to yours and he's talking again. "Y/N, stay awake. You can't go to sleep. Stay awake, don't close your eyes—"
Thinking is so hard right now. So is keeping your eyes open, especially when the world keeps blinking in and out of sight. Why can't you just sleep? You're trying to keep them open, you really are, but it's so easy to just not, and when your eyes flutter shut yet again you hear what sounds like a panicked curse before suddenly you're being lifted up and then you're moving. The night air is cold and so is Taehyun but with the last vestiges of your energy you burrow into his chest, chasing a comfort you never thought you'd find in the absence of a heartbeat.
No heartbeat. That stirs something in the depths of your mind, and then you remember something that, to your muddled brain, is very, very important.
"Taehyun."
Your name comes out in a panicked gasp. "Y/N?"  
You blink again with immense difficulty. Gold eyes, fangs, no heartbeat. "Vampire," you get out.
He snorts, though you don't miss the panicked edge to it. "That's what you're worried about?"
Worried? Why would you be worried? Taehyun would never hurt you. But that train of thought is too difficult to chase down, so instead you focus on what you were going to say in the first place. "...Did I win?" you mumble into his shirt.
"Stop talking," he hisses, something like a half-hysterical laugh rising in his throat. "Stop fucking talking, and don't close your eyes—"
Of course, that's when your eyelids decide to fall shut, and you hear no more.
. . . . .
Your dreams are filled with ghosts, pain, and mesmerizing gold eyes. You're woken up several times and each time is just as annoying as the last—lots of hushed voices telling you to keep your eyes open, things poking you in different places, and at some point someone is shoving something at your mouth and you think it might be someone's wrist? Which is stupid, because why would anyone be shoving their wrist at you, but then something tangy and metallic starts entering your mouth and even though the taste is terrible a voice that sounds a lot like Taehyun's is whispering for you to swallow, please, please, please so you do, even though it's fucking gross. 
When you finally wake up for good, it's to a dim room, lit only by a small lamp in the corner. Your head feels like it's been filled with cotton, your eyes are crusty, and your mouth tastes like something died in it. You try to speak but all that comes out of your parched throat is a dry croak. 
"Y/N?"
You turn your head to the sound of the voice and come to three conclusions.
One: Moving your head hurts a lot less than you thought it would. 
Two: Someone is sitting by your bed. 
Three: Taehyun is sitting by your bed, holding your hand. 
"...Taehyun?"
Relief cracks across his face. "Oh, thank god, you're awake." He turns to a nearby nightstand that holds a pitcher and an empty glass. "Are you thirsty?"
You do your best to nod. The glass of water that Taehyun pours you tastes like heaven. 
Several glasses later, you aren't so thirsty anymore, and your mind feels a little more focused. You look around the little room, then at Taehyun. 
"...Your eyes aren't gold anymore."
"What? Oh." He blinks. "Yeah. That only happens when I'm...in my other form."
"As a vampire."
He nods, a little smile curving his lips. "Yeah. And before you ask again, yes, you did win our bet."
Fuck yeah. You beam up at him. "Sick." Then you frown. "Wait, have you not figured out what I am? I thought the ghosts gave it away."
"There were still a few options, even with that hint," he says, taking your hand again almost absentmindedly. You glance down but decide not to say anything. It feels nice, anyway. "Necromancer. Medium. Witch, maybe."
It would be funny to keep him in the dark, but that's also a little cruel. "I'm a medium," you admit. "I talk to ghosts. Can't really do much else, though."
"So you weren't just talking to yourself the day I caught you," he says with a little snicker. You snort, but he's not done. "Did that guy find out? That's why he was after you, wasn't it?"
The room suddenly feels cold. You shiver underneath your blanket, hand squeezing Taehyun's almost involuntarily. His skin is also cold, but the pressure of his palm against yours comforts you more than the thin warmth of the blanket. 
"Yeah," you get out. "Yeah, he...he'd been bothering me for a while. Asking if I could see ghosts and whatever. I lied, obviously, and at some point I thought he got the message to leave me alone. But he saw me talking to one of them. I didn't know." You take a deep breath. "He thought I'd be able to help him talk to his mom. I told him I don't know how to summon specific ghosts. I don't even know if it's possible, at least for me. But, uh." You try to smile, but it fails. "He didn't really like that."
Something like a snarl sounds in the back of Taehyun's throat. "I could tell," he says, and there's no mirth in that statement. 
A blurry memory comes to the forefront of your mind. Sanya lying in the street, arms and legs splayed at strange angles, Taehyun standing over him. "He's...is he dead?" you ask, mouth dry. You're not sure if you want to hear the answer. 
"No." Taehyun spits out the word bitterly, like he almost wishes the opposite were true. "No, he's not. I didn't kill him." He looks at you almost hopefully. "But if you want me to, I can finish it."
You swallow. Relief and fear do a strange little dance in your chest. "No, I don't think I want him to be," you reply, and Taehyun nods, albeit a little disappointedly. "But I don't really want him coming after me again, either."
"Don't worry. Kai said he would take care of that, if you decided you wanted him alive." Taehyun gives you a half smile. "One of our friends is a witch. Memory alteration spells can go a long way."
Most of the fear dissipates, and you let out a sigh of relief. "That's...good." You stare at the blanket. "He just wanted to talk to his mother. Grief can drive even the sanest of people mad."
"...I know."
A little silence falls. "Where am I, by the way?" you finally ask. "Your apartment?"
"Yeah. It was closer." Taehyun shrugs. "Also, I hope you don't mind, but I called my witch friend over to take a look at you earlier. His name's Soobin."
Hm. You vaguely recognize that name from your intermittent wakings. Which brings back the memory of something else, a tangy and metallic liquid in your mouth. Instinctively you wrinkle your nose. 
"Is something wrong?"
"Oh, I just remembered a dream I had." You shake your head. "I was drinking something really weird. It tasted bad."
Taehyun's face turns a little sheepish. 
"...Not a dream, I guess," you get out. Right, in dreams you can't taste anything. How did you forget? "What was it?"
Taehyun raises his wrist, revealing two fading marks against his skin. "Vampire blood has healing properties," he says guiltily. "It was the only thing we could think of without sending you to the hospital. You had a major concussion and your knee was pretty busted, too."
You stare at his wrist, at the marks that seem to be fading before your eyes. "I drank blood. From your wrist."
"...Sorry?"
"No, no, don't be sorry." You pinch the bridge of your nose for a second. "I...appreciate it? It kept me alive. I'm just trying to process things." Then you realize something. "God, I haven't even thanked you for saving me." All at once you remember the fear, the terror, the pain, and then it hits you, really hits you, just how close to death you came. "Thank you, Taehyun," you say in a much smaller voice. "I...I really owe you my life."
Taehyun clasps your hand between both of his and looks at you, his dark eyes deep and serious. "You don't owe me anything, Y/N," he says quietly. "I came because I was worried. Because I didn't know what was happening, and I was scared for you. It was my choice to come," he says, voice brooking no argument. "I don't believe in exchanging lives. I'm just glad that you were okay, in the end."
That does it. Just like his simple question when you were walking home—Y/N, are you okay? His words release the floodgates and all the tears start falling, the full terror of the moment hitting you like a truck—but he's holding you, cradling you close, and you're curling into him again as you soak his shirt with tears, finding comfort in his voice, in his arms, in the absence of a heartbeat in his broad chest. 
By the time you're cried out, you're exhausted again, but you don't really want to go to sleep just yet. So instead you stay curled up against Taehyun, his arms holding you close, and take in shaky breaths until you feel a little steadier. "Sorry for crying," you mumble, even though you make no effort to pull away. "Your shirt's going to be gross."
"I don't care about the shirt," Taehyun says sharply, though his voice softens when you look up, startled. "Sorry. I just meant that...I can replace the shirt, Y/N." He takes a breath, and you notice he looks a little nervous. "But I can't replace you."
His words strike a chord deep within your heart, bringing a sort of funny feeling to the front of your chest. "Damn right you can't," you try to joke, but it falls a little flat. 
"I'm serious." And then he's pushing you away a little, but only so that you have the space to look him in the eyes. "I'm serious," he repeats, large eyes dark and somber. "You almost died, Y/N. And if you...if you did die..." He swallows. "You know why I agreed to that stupid bet?"
You blink. "...For fun?"
"No. Well, yes." He huffs a little. "Y/N, I wanted an excuse to talk to you more."
A little warmth curls in your chest, spreading slowly outwards to the rest of your body. You don't say anything, though.
"You're a fun person to be around, Y/N," Taehyun says, and he's smiling a little in a way that's more mesmerizing than his golden eyes. "I liked you. I wanted to be around you more, and talk to you more. I'll admit, I was definitely curious about what exactly you were, but I didn't care about that as much as I pretended to." He leans in a little, and you don't flinch away. "I like you a lot, Y/N. And before you have—I don't know, some other near death experience—I wanted to tell you that." The smile slips away. "If you died, I never would have told you. And I would have regretted not telling you for a very long time."
He's looking at you in a way that warms you, even though his hands are cold, even though there's no heartbeat in his chest. So you let the quiet warmth of his gaze spread through your body, let yourself lean into him a little more before you press your lips softly to his. 
Taehyun kisses back firmly but gently, never pushing, never yielding, as steady as his arms holding you against him. You don't kiss for very long, but when you do break away, you're warm all over, and you can't stop smiling even with eyes still sticky from crying. 
"I'll tell you that I absolutely cared about this bet as much as you thought I did," you say, and his laugh only makes you smile more. "But I can't lie, Taehyun, I liked you a lot too. I tried to dislike you on principle. You were so fucking annoying about it," you emphasize, eliciting another lovely laugh from his lips. "But I couldn't, because you were sweet, and kind, and even though you teased me all the time, you were still always there. Even when I almost died."
His eyes on yours, dark and sweet. Like the lamp glowing softly in the corner, gentle and quiet. 
"You may not have a heartbeat, but mine can beat for both of us," you say quietly. "If you'll let it. If you'll let me."
Taehyun kisses your forehead, your nose, your lips. All feather soft, like butterflies lighting on your skin. "Is that answer enough?" he asks.
You smile back in reply and curl back into his chest. Taehyun's arms close around you again, his head coming to rest on top of yours, and there you sit, and breathe. 
One heart beating for two, two breaths sounding as one.
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Reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed this, and have a lovely day :)
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niconebula · 1 year ago
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I’m currently writing a college essay on the representation of Witches (and all Magical Girls) in Madoka Magica; I don’t know if I will be able to include this within the limits of the project so I wanted to share to Tumblr instead. It does not seem to be widely understood how much yonic imagery there is in the series and how important that is to the intended message.
For starters Kyubey is a walking uterus. The name of his species is literally Incubator (an enclosed apparatus providing a controlled environment for the care and protection of premature or unusually small babies; an apparatus used to hatch eggs or grow microorganisms under controlled conditions). He creates egg-shaped Soul Gems, and deposits the Grief Seeds back into his little receptacle. Why does he have such a weird design with two sets of ears? The lower ‘ears’ with the separated ends are actually modelled off of what Fallopian Tubes look like.
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(Funny diagram but. It’s true! I’ll come back to this point at the end).
So then take this scene (thank god someone reuploaded it to YouTube):
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“And you think a shit-for-brains hoe is going to be making that much in ten years? That body ain’t gonna last forever, you know.” “And then you dump ‘em, and they get all whiny!”
These two men are talking about the short term relationships they have with women, using them for their bodies and treating them like shit, and then dumping them immediately after - not understanding or caring as to how this upsets them.
It consistently baffles me how many people will completely throw out feminist readings of Madoka Magica. ‘Readings’ shouldn’t even be used - this is the main text of the goddamn show! You are free to argue that it failed at its message, or that the application was problematic, but for this scene in particular to fly over your head makes me discount opinions immediately.
Anyway, where have we heard this rhetoric before? “That body ain’t gonna last forever” - a young Magical Girl is always destined to turn into the Wicked Witch. “When you dump em’, they get all whiny!” - it is a Magical Girl at the peak of her despair who turns into a Witch, and Kyubey cannot and does not care for their human emotion.
The men cycle through their ‘hoes’ like Kyubey cycles through Magical Girls to get whatever his species supposedly needs to continue the universe.
I’m going to cut a break here for TW discussions of metaphorical rape and pregnancy involving minors, but this portion of the post is important.
Kyubey completely violates the concept of informed consent when he creates his magical girls - though he always argues that he did ask, and it’s in fact their fault (as fourteen year old girls) to not ask further questions.
Taking his form as a uterus alongside the yonic imagery of the show, it is implied that Kyubey has in some way ‘raped’ the girls. This is most evident in Sayaka’s arc; her insistence that becoming a Magical Girl has made her spoiled and that Kyousuke wouldn’t want to even kiss a girl like her.
Their transformations into witches further the idea that they have been ‘spoiled’, but also symbolize their transformation into adult women. Women who are ‘too adult’, and whose bodies are no longer attractive or useful to create babies anymore.
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Goddess Madoka is even depicted as pregnant in the full Magia ending.
I feel like you could reason within all this symbolism that there’s a metaphor for specifically the coerced pregnancy and mothership of women. Something often considered the ‘ideal state’ for women and as you will see many conservatives argue, the necessary thing to continue society. In their minds, the subjugation of anyone they assign as women to these roles is necessary for society as they know it to continue for the imaginary people of the future who do not even exist yet.
Kyubey refers to the Magical Girls as cattle. He is there to help incubate and hatch the witch, and then throw the magical girl to the dust afterwards as she dies no longer useful. These girls are sacrifices to a far-off future that Kyubey promises them, he tells them that if no Magical Girls existed to hatch into Witches, humanity would not last long enough to see itself to the stars.
The incubator and his design, the soul gems and grief seeds, the pregnant madoka, the discussions about men liking their eggs a particular way by their homeroom teacher, it’s all very consistent. I’m not sure if my prospective readers have ever considered this within Madoka Magica - but try seeing it from this angle.
I didn’t find a way to work this into the post, but in addition: take the ancient myth of the wandering womb. This was the belief that so called over-emotional women were suffering from a condition where their uterus was moving in ways all across their bodies. It morphed into the more modern usage of female hysteria; hysteria coming from hystera- the Greek word for uterus. Kyubey thinks of the girls as constantly overreacting and overemotional. Hysterical.
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greedystevie · 4 months ago
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WARM ME UP
not as it seems part two
college!steve x college!fem oc
summary: you and steve are doing homework but you cant seem to concentrate
cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) cock warming
word count: 1k
18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+
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authors note: okay this is actually a little bit of a novel i've been working on but i named one of the main character's steve so now i just keep thinking about steve harrington whenever i write for it so this is not a y/n insert but i don't describe the fem!main character in any specific way so go and imagine yourself :) but also don't be surprised if this disappears in the future
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Thomasina was impatiently waiting for Steve to be done with his essay. She herself had given up on working for the night when she heard the string of curses drip from his mouth. It had turned her on so feverishly that now she was pacing around the perimeter of the living room. She was actually slightly surprised that he hadn’t popped his head up to wonder what she was doing, but he was so focused at the island in the kitchen why should he.
The glow of his laptop, the buzzing from the red bull through her veins. It was becoming too much. She needed him. She needed him now. Chewing on the inside of her lip Thomasina silently moved towards him. Swaying back and forth when she didn’t dare come any closer. Legs stiff as boards, trying not to rub them together and feed the temptation without him. Reaching out to touch his shoulder, hand hovering over it for a few seconds before crash landing on its surface.
Jumping up startled Steve pulled out his earphones, big eyes staring into her needy ones. “What is it?” He asked, concerned. Hand coming to wrap around her thigh. Sending shivers through her body.
“I really need you baby,” she dragged out. Biting her bottom lip.
Steve knew she was serious because she never calls him baby- ever. “You can’t wait?”
Thomasina shook her head no.
“Shit Tom cat,” he sighed heavily. “I’m in the final stretch,” Thomasina mewed when he said those words. “Really? You’re that horny?” She nodded in return. “Fuck. Come here.”
Steve pulled Thomasina by the hip to between his legs. Gently he brushed his hand across the front of her thigh towards her pussy, before his fingers even reached it he could feel how wet her underwear had become. “Oh baby,” he whined. “You really need me.”
Thomasina hummed as her body started to vibrate from his touch. “Whoa calm down baby,” Steve chuckled. Removing his hand from her sensitivity. She pouted, yearning for his return. “Be patient my love.”
“I’m trying,” Thomasina whined.
“Well try harder,” he said, getting off the barstool. Pulling down his sweatpants and boxer briefs in one go. Sitting back on the stool he motioned for Thomasina to come closer. “You ready Tom cat?”
“For what?”
“You ready to be taken care of?” He said through a few breathy gasps as he pumped himself enough to get hard.
“Always.”
Steve took action, taking her clothing away from her hips and down to her ankles. She stepped through the holes in her garments ready for whatever surprise he had in store for her. “Alright babygirl come here,” Steve picked her up off of the floor. Hovering over his semi-hard member he set her down on top of him. Sliding into her perfectly like a puzzle piece.
Before she had the chance to react Steve brought his warm finger to her mouth, “are you going to be a good girl and wait until I am done?”
“Yes sir,” Thomasina nodded softly into his hand. Leaning into his chest as she wrapped his arms around him for balance.
Pulling his laptop towards him Steve feverishly worked to finish while Thomasina was cooing into his ear. Every once in a while he would bring a hand up, rubbing along her spine. It drove her absolutely crazy. Vaginal walls pulsating around his cock causing him to moan loudly. “Shit,” Thomasina whispered in his ear. Breathing heavily, “I’m sorry baby.”
“No babes, it’s my fault for torturing both of us. I should’ve known how you would react,” he breathed in sharply. Tapping at the keys on the laptop one more time before closing it for the night.
When she heard the snap of the laptop close Thomasina moved to look at Steve’s face. “Did you finish?”
“No.”
“Am I that distracting?” Thomasina pouted.
“Yup,” Steve nodded. Digging the pads of his fingers into the sides of her hips so hard he left his fingerprints indented in her skin. Lifting her off of him and gently setting her back on the floor. Getting out of the seat, leaving his pants under its legs. Grabbing Thomasina’s hand dragging her to the bedroom.
Ripping open the drawer to the bedside table picking out a condom. Opening it, rolling the rubber onto his erection and sitting down on the plushy mattress. Patting his lap ready for Thomasina to ride him once more.
Sliding her knees onto the mattress, one on either side of his legs. Steve massaged his cock back into the comfortable blanket that was Thomasina’s pussy, still warm from his last visit. “Oh fuck,” he moaned into her ear when she started to grind her hips against him. “You are going to kill me one of these days.”
“Only if you don’t kill me first,” she whispered into his neck. Letting the sensation of pleasure completely overtake her senses.
Humping his lap harder, faster nails digging into his back. Voice growing ever higher pitched with every new sound that erupts from her lungs. Steve repaid the sentiment by tightening his grip on her hips. Guiding her the way he wanted her, not that she always took direction.
“Stevie,” Thomasina panted.
“Yeah baby?”
“Stevie,” she surprised him by pushing him back onto the bed. Practically screaming as she took her new freedom to bounce faster on top of him.
“Woah Tom cat,” Steve found his grip on her hips again. “Don’t have too much fun without me,” he chuckled. Finding a more comfortable position for the both of them.
“Pussy,” she smacked his chest lightly. “You could’ve finished with your ass hanging off the bed. You could’ve finished if we fell onto the floor. I know you, nothing could ever possibly stop you,” she smirked down at him.
“Ugh,” he moaned loudly. “You are such a dirty girl, I love it.” He moved his hand up Thomasina’s torso, sending shivers up and down her spine. Rubbing circles at her sides that made her weak in the knees.
“You bitch,” she breathed. Vagina pulsating around his cock, ready to cum all over it. “I’m gonna-“
“Me too baby.”
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anika-ann · 11 months ago
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Thirty-Three Minutes (S.R.)
Type: Modern-college-professor AU - part of Attached series or a standalone
Pairing: professor Steve Rogers x reader   Word count: 1700
Summary: Giving your fiancé a nice gift was all you intended.
You receive back more than you bargained for.
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Warnings: 18+, NSFW, smut (light bondage, light D/s, edging, oversimulation, hand kink (?), term ‘babygirl’ (no daddy kink), hints of dacryphilia, mirror kink and professor kink (if you squint)), language
A/N: Either a standalone (because it’s just a prof Steve, established relationship and filth) or a part of the Attached series. Figures that I'll return to Prof Rogers for filth. Sorry?
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The sound falling from your lips was unhuman – a sob, a mewl, a plea – but you had no capacity to feel truly embarrassed. No time.
It was too much – so much and yet not enough – your body set on fire and yet standing too far from its satisfying heat.
And that bastard knew it. He knew it and you knew he did, because even though your vision blurred, starting to swim in tears, you could feel his intent gaze on you, his smile, so deliciously dark, his low voice whispering the filthiest praise as you tried to buck into the soft teasing touch of his fingertips.
It was all your fault, you were aware.
But how could you have known? You had just wanted to give him a present worthy of his standing and age. You had been saving so meticulously, barely keeping it secret from him, only to be rewarded by his utter awe when he opened his only gift for his fortieth birthday. A new quality watch; not a Rolex, but expensive and luxurious enough. He showed you exactly how much he appreciated it shortly after inspecting the watch and lid them carefully back in the box to put on later.
You had not expected the present to backfire like this. You had not expected the things done to your gut, to your poor core, to your hindbrain, sending indecent thoughts about how damn well his hands looked, adorned with a piece of practical jewellery.
You had no damn idea what it was what had you squirming; the testament to his position? The testament to power he might not hold over half the world like some fancy CEO would, but certainly over you? The way the leather bound his wrist so gently and perfectly, like a second skin, contrasting with the beautifully raised veins on the back of his hands?
It didn’t matter. What did matter was that he was doing something so awfully mundane like grading essays at his desk while you were supposed to be working on your thesis and… and you were staring. You couldn’t-- you couldn’t possibly form a single coherent thought about history of literature or whatever the topic of our thesis was when he hadn’t even changed from his shirt, only rolled out the sleeves, and sat there like this in your view. His fingers held the pen so elegantly, his other hand laid by the paper, the soft glint of the watch catching your eye every time he moved, drawing your gaze to his hands like a magnet.
Those damn hands. Soft and gentle. Large and strong. So sinfully talented. He could have you fall apart for him in a matter of minutes just by teasing you with those long dextrous fingers; and the image your mind had conjured, the image of your juices straining those elegant fingers on the very hand wearing those watch was just-
“Babygirl, you keep watching me like that and I’ll have to do something about it,” he said light-heartedly, unaware of your panties being shamefully soaked already, core weeping at the emptiness and acute need to be filled.
But Steve had a sharp mind; he understood soon enough. And he understood what precisely it had been that riled you up so much and way too fast, a smirk curling up those plump lips, hand cupping your chin to steal your breath with a filthy kiss, his free hand pushing your laptop aside and pulling you to your feet just to kiss you over and over as he walked you back to the mirror.
Fuck, the filthy gorgeous picture. Possessive hands sprawled over your stomach, over your pubic bone, as his fingers slipped under your leggings to tease you; pulling them down so you could watch as he dipped his fingers in your slick.
“My girl’s making such a mess for me, look at that, babygirl, isn’t that a sight…”
Coming almost untouched, a tingly feeling spreading to your toes as his arm wrapped around your waist to keep you upright and press you firmly to his front, to let you feel what you were doing to him. He had you on a bed so fast afterwards, propped up on the headboard so you could watch, with your hands tied so you had to take whatever he was giving, legs spread wide so he could fit his broad shoulders between them and lick an indulgent stripe all from your opening to your clit, beard burning against your sensitive flesh, only to return to work with his hands.
That gorgeous smart bastard, having you all figured out. Using his new watch, a gift from you, to time you, to time how fast he could push you over the edge for the second time. And then again, trying faster. And again.
And now. Fuck--- now. Now was the real torture.
“Steve, please-“ you whispered, voice hoarse, cunt clenching around nothing as he withdrew his fingers again, all but a fingertip petting your slick swollen petals, your thighs trembling with exertion.
“Shh, love…” he hummed soothingly, free hand pushing your hips down to keep you still, taking away his touch altogether to turn his wrist and look at the watch pointedly, his fingers coated in your slick glistening in the low light on the nightlamp, causing to try and fight against his hold. More. You needed more, you needed it right now. “It’s only been twenty-three minutes, babygirl. You can hold on for a little bit while longer.”
“No! Steve, please, please, pretty please-“ you babbled, word slurring, because gods, you could not. You needed him to make you come again, for the last time, your body was strung so tight, like a string on a violin the menace of your fiancé knew how to play all too well.  
“Oh sweetheart, you beg so prettily. Such a good girl for me, aren’t you…”
The praise washed over you like a tide wave, a shiver running down your spine, a tingle in your lower belly.
He released your hips, only to grab your thighs, spreading them further, tasting you again, tongue circling your clit and sending your head spinning, the tug at your insides almost violent, causing you to pull at the binds around your hands on instinct – you were so so close now, if he could only-
“No!” you your cried out breathlessly as he stopped and rested his forehead under your heaving breasts instead, placing a torturously soft kiss above your belly button.
Your thoughts were a never-ending spiral of please, please, please, Steve, love, please, I need to cum, I need to--- I need you to fuck me, please, please, PLEASE, I need it and there was no way out, no way out but through your safeword, but you wouldn’t, no, he called you his good girl and you were so close, your whole body burning and if he could only do one thing, if he could just--- Please, please, your fingers, your mouth, your-
Then, a sudden clarity, a deep inhale and exhale. You licked your lips.
“Professor, please-“
His fingers dug into the flesh of your thighs, sending a thrill and a sparkle of hope through your veins. He looked up from his spot, eyes impossibly dark, traces of your juices on his lips, on his beard. His mouth curled in a smirk, your racing heart stumbling in your chest.
“Oh babygirl…” he whispered, his thumbs petting the junction of your thighs, bringing the sweet sweet relief closer to your reach. His lips traced a line over the swell of your breast, teeth grazing your flesh, a breathy chuckle warming your already burning skin and you let your head lull back, revelling in the sensation. “That’s playing dirty. Naughty girl…”
Two fingers entered you without warning, but with a fabulous sensation of bliss, aiming straight for your g-spot, stretching you deep, over and over, curling and hitting an even better spot, his mouth ghosting over your collarbone, over your jaw and you panted.
“Yes, yes-“
Your chant was cut off by Steve’s lips, swallowing your sounds of pleasure and letting you taste your own, bringing you rapidly to the brink of a white-hot orgasm—
Only to pull away from your lips with a wet pop, his fingers stilling.
You snapped your eyes open to find Steve with a downright menacing smile on his kiss-swollen lips, horrible realization washing over you and causing your vision to blur anew.
“Steve-“
“So naughty…” he mused, pulling his fingers out as he retreated, admiring his hand – the very image you had daydreamed about, slick-coated long fingers of the hand where his new watch remained seated comfortably – before he used your juices like a paint, tracing a pattern on your inner thigh and you knew. You realized your terrible misstep, which would only prolong your most delightful torture. “I think you deserve another ten minutes as punishment, what do you say?”
You never got the chance to answer, soft fingertips having returned to their teasing, hungry lips stealing any words of protest from your lips.
By the time a few tears actually rolled down your cheek, your ten minutes clearly having passed, Steve had you boneless and soaking his hand and the sheets alike. Your release, coming with releasing your hands as well and letting you lie breathless and without a single coherent thought in your mind, came with Steve’s release as well, when he spooned you from behind, taking what was rightfully his with all but wordless encouragement from your side.
He held you close, chaining kiss after kiss wherever his lips could reach, the most tender of praises whispered to your skin lulling you to sleep.
Perhaps your choice of a gift was the best decision you had ever made, was your last thought. The best, right after sending the wrong attachment and saying yes to not only a date, but eventually, to Steve’s proposal as well.
Seeing what a damn watch on Steve’s hand had done to you, you were both wondering what a sight of a wedding band on his ring finger would do. But you still had some time before you’d figure that out…
⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰
Series masterlist
S.R. masterlist
⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰
Thank you for reading 💕 and potentially for your feedback 🥰
Really, blame @murdock-and-the-sea and this pic sent in the wrong/good time 🤐
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sammygender · 5 months ago
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saw your post about fic rec lists. do you have any spn fic recs? 5 spn fics to read before you die? or sam-centric fics, especially set in the first 5 seasons/pre-canon? (that last is just me telling on my own preferences, lol)
literally 95% of the supernatural fic i read is pre-canon and almost all of it is, if not sam-centric, then sam-heavy. so. not all of the fics r necessarily 100% my interpretation, especially in regards to john takes, but theyre all really excellent
The Very First Stone by road_rhythm. LOVE this one so much. read if you want excellent characterisation of all 3 winchesters, gorgeous writing and a genuinely gripping narrative. set one summer when sam and dean are teenagers, feels the most like an actual novel of any of the fics on this list. also really like the john in this
Run Aground by themegalosaurus. devastatingly good casefic set just before sam leaves for stanford
Ways We Stay Alive by yet_intrepid. read if you dont mind a particularly awful john - this ones emotionally tough, heed tags. training exercise fic!
Emergency On Planet Earth by EudociaCovert. SO obsessed with this concept and little kid sammy. tldr sam is worried john's a serial killer
is it cheating if i rec my own fics? whatever, i will anyway - my fic series is all precanon and often sam-centric, the most sam-centric ones are probably waiting for the day they escape, a perfect body, a perfect soul, and my personal favourite something soon, where sam keeps having dreams about patricide.
im also really fond of
8 early drafts of Sam Winchester's college application essay and the one he sent to Stanford (the sweet little blonde jam) . oneshot, is what it says on the tin. love their relationship in this
Wound and Unwound by fascra - love this fic soo much. if you want to get into the mind of fucked up teenage sam, this is for you. careful on the tws on this one it delves into eating disorders very heavily
No Child Left Behind by Zeke21 - more dean-centric but has really excellent sam too, beautifully written and feels very real and grounded, heed tags though.
Terrible Liars by panfriedeggs. stanford era jess pov, dean comes to stay.
Nickel and Dime by Linden - outsider pov, CPS gets called on the winchesters. love this one. tagged sam/dean but its just gen
The Prettiest Princess - set after its a very spn christmas (the precanon part). both very cute and very upsetting, perfect recipe for precanon
MRSA . Dean's cut gets badly infected.
and, cheating, because this is an AU and therefore not technically pre-canon, but i loooove it: the body and the boneyard by hellsreluctantheir
may add more if i think of them later.. i read a lot of fic. feel free to send asks for anything more specific!!!
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adrian-sheppy · 1 year ago
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Sorry if this is completely wrong igore if it is LMAO but I noticed you seem to have different hcs for how mind lost his eye!!! Like in Seattles Going Under it was lost in a vague fight or something, but in art w/ the resonance cascade he lost it prolly during the ambush? I was wondering if you had info to share on it/infodump abt or if its just whatever makes the art more fun!
hehe youre observant and actually right on the money. yup!  so essentially i just have different eye trauma head canons for whichever version of freemind im drawing; since he doesnt actually lose his eye in canon, its up to everyone to fil in the blanks if they wanna use the popular headcanon. i wrote .  a good chunk of stuff .  so i put it under the cut . but heres a picture to be like a . tldr
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I sorta like his eye already being gone before the resonance cascade (in a non-freemanverse scenario). he does verbally say something like "my eyes" in the series, indicating he has two, BUT . well.  its a headcanon. so we can have fun with it . my eye loss pre-rescas freemind stems from my original freemind design (before i ever started posting half-life on the internet) where he had short hair, but i needed a way to distinguish him from og gordon, so I used thr popular one eye headcanon. then I realized him losing his eye bc of the military goes perfectly with martini losing an arm. that bothered me for a while until i realized i could just have multiple freemind designs + headcanons. if theres different variations of Gordon  and martini, why can't there be some of Freemind as well? grins grins
i left it open ended in my SGU because people have their own headcanons and I thought anyone could just fill in their own. if I did every make a canon eyeloss event prequel thing, he would've lost his eye during college in some sort of either freak accident (like tripping on something and injuring himself bad; I like this one because he'll lie and say he was in a fight) or, like u said, a fight . for SGU, college was a low point in his life of him struggling with freedom from his parents for the firsr time, but them and their ideals still holding him hostage. he is simultaneously more repressed and more emotionally volatile than present!gordon. then, when his parents die, hes just given a clusterfuck of emotions. so why dont we add physical trauma? whatever the sgu canon event eye loss was, it was definitely related to substance abuse issues. whether that be he was high/drunk and got into an accident, or fought someone... not sure! yet. the only thing that i can say was that no fire or chemicals were involved, since his tearduct is (unfortunately for him) wholly in tact!
but for freemanverse!freemind, he should lose his eye during the rescas since its like thematic and stuff if (almost) every Gordon Loses Something. also, angst. whenever I draw freemanverse (even in a domestic setting) in my head, i always think of them surviving the rescas together! i have. convoluted freemanverse headcanons. the eye loss is an important freemanverae event because, like martini, it gives him a valid reason to REALLY dislike benrey (but in my au, benrey isnt the big bad, so he "redeems" himself kinda sorta) . and then it ALSO opens up freemind to be upset and vulnerable, which allows him to bond with his fellow freemen.
...
also I want barmey to tend to his wounds and call his scar(s) badass. im not immune to buttermind and i never was.
honorable mention: sims freemind, who has both eyes physically but only can see from one. this is due to me unable to properly texture a glasses + eyepatch combo, that and i have no experience with 3d modelling (I did try!).
i hope this is a satisfying enough infodump!! I'm sorry if it's a bit vague; a lot of my ideas tend to be fluid. i also like taking inspiration from what other people think! some of you guys are way super smart and have awesome ideas. i am not immune to well articulated essays and thought out headcanons
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nerves-nebula · 1 year ago
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Emotional neglect/abuse is so tricky cause what do you even say. My parents never said they loved me? That’s not true. They hit me? Also not necessarily true. They didn’t care about our education or future? They probably cared more about me getting into college than any other part of my life. They wanted me to succeed, they would brag about our achievements and my mom loved posting online whenever one of us got accepted to a college or got a scholarship.
It’s easier to talk about the physical stuff. show pictures of the conditions we lived in, tell stories about how my mom never gave us medicine when we were in pain, or how she let our brother terrorize and abuse us. How I would starve myself all day because I couldn’t stomach anything, and she’d just glare and get annoyed when I mentioned that I hadn’t eaten.
It’s easier to explain what’s wrong there.
It’s harder to explain that she used to kiss us goodnight, and tuck us in, and sing to us, and that none of that was enough. How do I explain that what hurts even more is that she did say she loved me, it just wasn’t true. She probably thinks she loves me. And what an awful kid I am, to not believe her when she says it.
But I’ve trusted her before, I’ve trusted her over and over thinking “surely this time she’ll see how serious I’m being. This time she won’t laugh, or say it’s stupid, or just something I should get over. She’s insisting that I tell her, so she won’t laugh this time. She can’t. She wants to know what’s wrong. This time it’ll be serious enough. This time.”
The most succinct way I can put it is that she loves her child. The idea of someone who is her kid. Not me, though, never me. Never a real person.
I think I was 12 when I figured it out. I figured out what love meant to me, and respect was key. Without it, any stalker on the street or abusive husband could claim that their love was the real deal, and I didn’t want that. Of course that made me realize that I couldn’t give my parents a pass on this one. They didn’t love me, they loved me in their own screwed up ways sure, but if I validated that as real love then a stalker or possessive boyfriends love would be just as valid. It hurt, and I was small, but it didn’t hurt that much worse than anything else and I was already in pain.
How do I explain that she went through all the motions a good parent should, that she hugged me when I cried about how I’d wanted to kill myself (forced me to hug her, wouldn’t let me go until I hugged her, I still remember trying to pull away three times before giving up- something about that is biblical I think. I still remember feeling like an animal was dying on its way down my throat, halfway lodged in my chest, when I realized the hug was about her and not me. It was about her feeling better, giving herself closure. Making herself feel like a better mom. “You knew I wanted to kill myself? and you never did anything?” “What was I supposed to do, you were always in your room.” I still hate being touched. Hugs are difficult, no matter how much I want them.)
It takes an essay to explain it. My parents are ghosts to me. Ghosts that text me nonsense every now and then and ask for updates. I give them the bits and pieces they’re asking for, because I can’t bring myself to be as cruel to them as they were to me.
meeting them face to face make me sweat. I shut down. I feel tired immediately. (aren’t you always tired?) I’m not safe with them (ok, but you’re not safe anywhere) I can’t rely on them. They will lash out if they don’t get what they want. They’ll twist anything they can. They’ll shout and badger and laugh and mock.
They’re the ones who told me not to be stupid, because if I’m stupid then I deserve whatever happens to me. They’re the ones who fueled my agoraphobia (everyone will kill you given the chance, if only you could stop being so strange) and blame me for never leaving the house.
I buried any idea of them being there for me, being people I could rely on, when I was 13. because I knew they would kill me if I didn’t.
My parents are ghosts who text me, or monsters using the faces of my dead protectors to torment me, or two very dysfunctional very disappointing people who should never have gotten married or had kids.
God I wish parents were real.
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