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sacrificialmutt · 2 months

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i was so confident that my bsf and i would never end bc we never fight- i never accounted for simply drifting. oops 😋😋

#┈ ✴ ﹙rambling﹚#im scared lowkey #like what do i do we are talking about my everything for the past 5 years #she doesnt even reply to my damn texts anymore #but she can text my fucking sister an essay ig #thats unrelated. thats whatever.#i *have* been walking on eggshells for the greater part of this relationship #and making new friends thru college orientation *has* felt like a breath of fresh air in terms of basic human interaction #first time in a really really long time that ive spoken about being trans or my interests or my opinions or even my day #(u get the picture)#without fear of being belittled #but like i love her and another reason im scared is bc shes lowkey all i've known for the past 5 years #but like im just so uncomfortable around her all the time #being abused by ur bsf for a year will do that to u ig lmao #and this is just me venting a lil. not saying im gonna like fully cut her off or anything bc like why would i do that #but the relationship is so obviously fizzling out and like im just sitting here watching it burn out #it was already hard bc if i tried to say something about my interests or myself in general #she would mock me or change the subject to be about her #and ignore me flat out if neither of those options worked #but now she goes for hours and doesnt say shit #ugh whatever its whatever

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munchboxart · 8 months

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Can I ask if you guys have any official Kirby pet peeves. Mine is the 30 million official renditions of Green Greens. I love Kirby, I get that it's his theme, I just don't think there needs to be like 500 of them in the Kirby Cafe vinyls. I think we can go a long way if they made more songs based on like... actual BGM from single stages rather than making Green Greens #24

#IM TIRED OF GREEN GRESNS CAN WE GET SOMETHING ELSE #i like the songs where they use a couple samples of older soundfonts esp from dl3 #dl 3 grass 3 sounds rlly earthboundy (ik hal worked on earthbound too) sorry thats unrelated #etc #also i hate sand levels we need to get rid of those. but ik its like. removing an element of nature so whatever

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stefisdoingthings · 23 days

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idk if ive ever posted abt it but i reeeeally really dont like how much studio orange made sure we remember vash is nai's little brother and nai is the older one (even if thats not even the case, because theyre twins.) its so overplayed and feels incestuous, considering the common theme in anime with the sexualised 'onii-chan' bullshit. idk. as far as i remember in trimax vash is referred to as the little brother ONCE by knives and a few times by elendira who obviously makes fun of it, and it's like orange took advantage of the fact that it's canon and fed into it a little too much. it also adds to the power imbalance narrative that fandoms love so much and gives people a chance to make vash helpless in a sexual context. uhhh end rant before i forget my point which is that it feels weird

#and it's deliberate. they *want* the incest under(?)tones because it attracts people but by doing so #they change vash and knives' whole relationship #and im not saying you cant read their relationship in trimax as incest if thats what floats your boat #but i dont feel like the implications are really there the same way theyre in tristamp #whatever #also make nai wear clothes or be completely naked pls choose what is this bodysuit situation\#<- unrelated but forever true #trigun #vash the stampede #trigun maximum #millions knives #shut up stef #trigun stampede

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harvestmoth · 3 months

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what do we think about pet store workers team xen

#for the pet thing i had a bit ago #neved doesnt work with them hes just a delivery driver for some of their supplies. he mostly helps out with his wifes orphanage #idk if clear kieran and eden are around too or not though im not thinking that hard about it #jenner used to work there too but he quit and works for something at home #hes like a stay at home dad now or something #cassandra is either part of corporate or shes just the evil mayor of gdc still and has no affiliation to them idk #she still has something going on with madelis no matter what though #eli and sharon work part time and ren is like the guy who gets them coffee or something. runs delivery too maybe #regina comes in sometimes too to flirt with nastasia when she can but thats like a side thing and completely unrelated #btw zepto is like a clay figure zetta made and is either alive or just a figure. you decide #sorry i was trying to think of something rejuv related to draw and ended up thinking a little too hard about the pet thing. my bad #pokemon rejuvenation #if you have no idea what im talking about with the pet thing its just rejuv but they have weird looking pets instead of pokemon #and i guess technically a modern au. whatever. melia still has the power of god and anime in her. dont worry about it #zetta isnt a clone though hes just a guy. idk where he comes from but hes jenners son and melias older brother #im not drawing madame x im sorry. but know she really does show up to her store wearing all that and never takes it off. + the uniform #oh and nastasia still just straight up has deoxys. dw about it

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piquuroblox · 1 month

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i want to draw the dandys world ocs ive seen lately but i am Too scared to ask anybody to…….

#THEYRE ALL SO UNIQUE….#i saw a love letter and a robot once Man they were so cute i hate my stupid anxiety baka life Whatever…#id love if people just asked me to draw their ocs insteadCome find me. Please. id draw them all in a heartbeat. I love all you dw ocs….#i had the confidence to ask to draw somebodys oc on tumblr once Thats it. Its gone now #Anyways cosmo and sprout have taken over my soul I love them so bad #<- completely unrelated

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zymstarz · 4 months

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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out

#zymart #zymtalk #rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st #the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL #i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board #bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route #and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week #then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly #in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized #after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly #SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it #oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi #i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie #[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now #idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim #but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it #anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying 🫶#you are not safe #edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j

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jonsaslove · 8 months

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one day i know i’ll write jonsa for the last time but today i’m amazed that nearly five years after the show has ended i opened up 2 new google docs to begin some new stories

#jonsa #🥰🤭#lord of the rings elf!sansa and dwarf!jon au will be happening after thinking about it for years now #that wont be too long of a fic but im excited #and then i have a unique canon divergence/post s8 au which will be an angst fest and might end up longer than i kinda initially thought lol #in other news i also want to write another jacegon fic and have been waiting to finish castling the king so thats also in the works #also unrelated to asoiaf have any of u watched ahsoka cause i cannot stop thinking about shin/sabine lol i do think i want to write for them #finishing castling the king has given me this huge feeling of freedom to start whatever i like

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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months

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#oh lads. its not looking good for my genomics exam on Thursday. its all fucked #i dunno. its just been a weird day. bc one of my lab mates is getting ready to go to the astr0biology science conference #and its just so wild how i got here. into the perfect position. i have a great advisor. a great phd project. a committee member who is super #integrated with n4sa astr0biology projects. and so many of the instructors are amazing. my genomics prof is terrifyingly smart #so is my advisor and his wife. and the program is great. ecology and Evolution. its perfect. its all perfect #and yet. and yet. it just feels like its all falling apart. ive lost that compulsive thing thats always set in my chest #and now all i want to do is lay on the floor and cry and sleep and not do anything. why am i so tired?#its just so frustrating. and im sure ive got the most wretched vibes bc im constantly like 1 comment away from bursting into tears #like 2 weeks and its done. then im off to find a summer job. and find a long term job. and consider throwing away everything ive ever worked #toward. just let it all burn. im so tired. and i dont get to see my therapist until Monday. thats gonna b fun #hi. hello. since last i saw you my life has crumbled into pieces. ugh. i just dont wanna fail this genomics exam but it looks like that's #where we're headed. maybe i should have just dipped out of these last 3 weeks. but no. i didnt want to leave the lady i ta for 100 lab #reports to unexpectedly have to grade 4 days before grades are due. ugh. itll b fine. i mean it wont but whatever #unrelated

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alex-just-vibing · 5 months

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i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism

#im not a woman i just love that phrase so much #anyways sorry i havent been posting like at all ive been literally just playing botw #this is the ideal body structure for a man yall just haters #also whatever gender link has. thats me. i want that.#and honest to god its so much fun ive been having a blast. most of the time #some puzzles do suck dick and balls tho #and like. 10k rupees for a great fairy? jesus christ miss. what the scallop #but overall 10/10 experience cant wait to get to totk #unrelated to sidon but vaguely related to the post #me and my friends were going back and forth at lunch w sum fictional hear me outs #(no one wanted to hear me out for sidon (💔💔💔 theyre just haters))#we alll agreed that live action rodrick heffley (from the first two movies) is the ideal man. idc what yall say #one of them did say smth like oh you cant just put eyeliner on a man and call him hot #when like that's literally the rules?? sorry man i dont make them i just enforce em #but like thats written in lgbt law???#smh chat #anyways #im tired #my stuff #oh god that was a ramble #im so normal chat

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bmpmp3 · 5 months

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i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!

#usually i only see that from people who havent actually listened to any vsynth music from the past 15 years so i understand why they got to #that conclusion. and also usually theyre people who didnt listen to much vsynth music in the first place LOL they just dont know #but it is still a little funny. brother there are things beyond your wildest dreams if u just look #like some personal highlights: the stuff by rinri - particularly their use of the meika girlies #dont carry our memories away is LIFECHANGING the whispers. the spoken parts. the BELTS #plus the haunting and unrelenting instrumentation. fantastic song #and naisho no pierced's propose + birthday + gift sort of trilogy of songs. gift especially has been unreal #again the dynamics of soft intimate whispers to belts but also those fuller high notes with edges of growlyness.#plus the songs just generally rock. and those LYRICS. absolutely intense like physically painful and frightening like #yearning and codependency and possession. and the tuning and production just amps it up more #OH and slave.v.v.r has been doing crazy things for even longer but i only started getting into his stuff recently and holy shit #love eater is like. the scariest vocaloid song ive ever heard not because of the lyrics. but because of the tuning #im like. scared. i cant stop listening to it. the heavy synthesized breathy main vocals and whispered harmonies plus the VOCAL FRY #i didnt realized vocaloid5? i think? has a vocal fry option built in i heard? thats crazy #but specifically in love eater the fry and growl is amped up so deep and loud and clear compared to everything else it like #emphasizes the artificiality of the voice while also amping up the expressiveness #its awesome. and on the older slave.v.v.r songs i heard i will hit you 8759632145 times with this piano. also so fucking cool #addicted to that song. 1) its a great jazzy rocky piano tune with this piano flourish at the end of each phrase that sounds fantastic #but also 2) the lyrics are insane. using kanji to write english??????#people are doing wild ass things with vocal synths rn you guys #this isnt even getting into some of the really unique synths themselves too. adachi rei is awesome i love that shes just like #the perfect inbetween of sample based and reconstruction based vocals. shes a sample based synth #but her samples were drawn by hand LOL shes like dectalks granddaughter to me.....#a really good use of adachi rei is iyowa's heat abnormal/heat anomaly/whatever its called ITS AWESOME thats what it is hjrkfdgfd #i think the fact that vocal synths can be so realistic and clean and noiseless out the gate now has made people really stop worrying #about like. realism all together and looking more into expressiveness. omg vocal synth modernist movement

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kirexa · 5 months

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Third years playing monster seeking monster

Leona as the vengeful ghost

So basically when the vengeful ghost asks someone out and is rejected, the person who rejected them loses a heart bcuz. The ghost is vengeful.

So Leona as vengeful ghost. Every night he idk leads sm1 one but then he selects to ask out malleus. Why? Because malleus won't select Leona to ask out, and so every night malleus loses a heart so malleus can't win. Leona can't either but he literally doesn't care, and he thinks this is funny as hell, because frankly it is.

#the only way this can go wrong is if Malleus is the two faced creep ABSHSBSBS #(the two faced creep gains an extra heart every time they reject someone. so it neutralizes the vengeful ghost)#unrelated but imagine if ur the monster hunter (has to go on a date w/ a specific monster to get an extra point) and youre hunting the #serial killer (after two dates with the serial killer they take two of your hearts) THATS SO FUNNY BECAUSE IT WOULD BE SO UNFORTUNATE 😭😭😭#uhhhhgggrnnn #i could majntag this #sure whatever #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #twst #twisted wonderland #twst hcs #kirexas twst

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wr0ngwarp · 1 year

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music box

#jet set radio #jsr beat #uhh hm do i put this in the zero beat tag. might as well #zero beat #beat jsr #beat jet set radio #eyestrain #ask to tag #goig back to my roots a liddle bit and drawed something Vaguely Gekidan Inu Curry Inspired.. definitely not an actual style attempt tho #get sillyweird immediately boy.#anyway this art i feel like i got kind of lost and wandered away from my original intention with it but thats ok bc i think it still cool #in uhh me and my sibling's au/headcanons we decided to just go with the ''gouji is beat's dad'' theory #(we did it as a joke but then started thinking abt it seriously :/ kirby fandom era me would be so disappointed in me)#anyway this art was going to be more directly about that and then it was only KIND OF about that. well whatever LMAO #anyway unrelated (mostly) to all that. never let your vaguely egotistical n smug protags near me. i will give them full blown COMPLEXES #i'll make them fucking unbearable. i'll make them think theyre the specialest little guys EVER. Without Remorse.#Are You Paying Attention To Him Yet. ARE YOU.#also like side note but. i think im literally incapable of not making a zero beat look like just the silliest little guy ever #i need to pick one up. and carry him around like a plushie. (would get maimed if i tried to do this)#wait i just looked at my sibling's response wehn i first showed this art to them and part of their reply was ''Beature come and see him;!''#and now i just have fin fin come and see him stuck in my head but with ''finfin'' find+replaced with Beature #Beature come and see him... love and we'll believe him... always and forever Hes your best friend!!!!#closes the music box and puts it in a shipping package. and addresses it to be sent to planet teo. I dont give a fuck #Beat. The Real Computer Beature.#oh my god these tags are like. even more tangential and incoherent than usual for my art blog.#i am just going to click the post now button and free this post from its purgatory.

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glitchven · 1 month

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Its really late but i just keep thinking about how Deena never interacts with her siblings in the entirety of both the nexomon games

Like-WE WERE ROBBED!!!!!!

SO YOUR TELLING ME-everytime the MC encounters one of the Champions with Deena around they DIDNT NOTICE HER??????

NOT EVEN A PASSING GLANCE OR GREETING??????

BLASHEMY

No heres MY personal crackpot headcannon

So during the War between Humans and Nexomon when Deena began to sympathise with humanity Omnicron began to notice and got angry (ObViOuSlY) and actually kicked her out of the group and disowned her, and then made everyone else reject her as well-OR EVEN BETTER tricked them to think she left of her own volition

And because most of the champions are just being revived in N1 thats why they act like they dont know her

#fuck you im gonna fill in canon myself #AND ALSO GRUNDA Or ULRICH was the ONLY ONE WHO DIDNT WANT TO COMPLETELY CUT CONTACT WITH HER #And after N1 they would get in contact again♡ somehow #and around that time he decides to work for that orphanage caring for kids #AND ALSO #i also have a theory-more like a headcanon honestly #that Metta was made directly after Nara was run out by the champions cause i think its funny #like he doesnt even KNOW he has a sister-and thats why he never makes any attempts to make her join the champions during N1 #like-dont you think he would try to harness her power to help resurrect omnicron? AND THAT MEANS THAT OMNICRON WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH STRONGER #IF SHE ALSO GAVE UP HER POWER >:]#<- that last point is unrelated to whatever im talking abt i just like making badguys stronger :>#AND ALSO THE CHAMPIONS WERE REALLY HURT BY HER LEAVING cause they used to be close♡#and when she left they stopped talking about her cause it hurt too bad andALSO THATS ANOTHER REASON AS TO WHY METTA WOULDNT TRY TO RECRUTE H #<- sorry guys im kinda going insane #nexomon #nexomon deena #nexomon nara #My Headcanons♡#not art

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first-blight · 3 months

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google search how to get hrt without the humiliating process of going thru several docs and having to explain urself over and over again when u don't have informed consent anywhere near you

#agony. agony #cas.txt #cw medical #?#spent the morning reading thru a leaflet on how to get hrt here #and yknow general info about it. side effects risks etc #most i knew already of course #and idk some part of me is like hm well. thats achievable. dysphoria isnsure to be diagnosed #but another part of me is like. theyre not gonna believe me and im gonna get treated like im sick in the head #which i am for unrelated reasons of course #sighs deeply whatever whatever idk #one of these days i'll try. i'll try.#i wish i wasnt so unsure of every decision i make in my entire life #i need to watch that film about. the tv glow. whatever #wish i could find a dvd of it #. incoherently skipping from one sentence to the next like a rock on water then sinking <- me just now

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the-acid-pear · 4 months

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Mental illness is insane I'm just having dinner w my father eating this a little too spicy pasta enjoying the Yeowch on my throat and the silence and suddenly I'm like yeah I'd kill myself.

#luly talks #i mean it came from out of nowhere grieving but it's so bizarre #like i just got hit by this very heavy rock in my skull this overwhelming and genuine urge for a second that yeah that'd be ok #that's the correct path to take and there's no physical changes i just kept on chewing on my all too spicy bc he used the wrong condiments #pasta. like sure i was a little zoned out maybe if you paid close attention you'd have seen my eye getting lazy or something but like. thats #it. and i always in zoning out #like this wasn't even an intrusive thought those come out of nowhere and just are echoing chambers of fear and shame #this was a calm resolution like yeah. that's the way to go alright.#y'know kind of unrelated but i always wish i had someone to talk about some mental health things i cant w my therapist #more on the speculative diagnosis thing. if you dont know what i mean shame on you for not keeping up with the Luly lore /silly #it's really hard being neurodivergent and im not talking about autism rn that i can manage but gestures vaguely its hard when it's #a group project. it's hard when everything is so fuzzy #because sometimes i tell myself i only think of this bc im all day alone and thinking but like #what. am i supposed to be getting non stop stimuli 24/7 least i realize i hsve something in my skull going on?#i blame my mother for that one she always made me ashamed of being sick or whatever acting like it was my fault #like me noticing symptoms was equivalent to me making them real #as if that wasn't just absurd like. the symptoms are here you twat. I'm not placebo effecting myself w shit #even the ppl who do like. the symptoms are real.#aaahhh siiiiigh yet another common L #brain stuff

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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months

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#aaaand thats a 3rd doctor. a psychiatrist. who listened to me ans thought: mm sounds like bip0lar lol #me: wow its so easy to get diagnosed as bip0lar. thats bc u r exhibiting lots of depression and a limit amount of mood elevation. that's #like. thats what bip0lar is. she was like yea ppl with bip0lar 2 spend like 75% of time being depressed and a lil elevated mood... which #sounds like what u r describing. me:#...yeah. but again its complicated by the 0cd and spectrum issues. but she independently brought up 4dhd. just when i was like no its all #0cd. here we r again. stuck back in the messy overlap. but whatever i got proscribed bip0lar medicine. lam1ctal. we'll see #bc everyone i talk to is like. we need to control the mood 1st. like so u dont die. and im like hm yeah good call lol #she seems super cool tho. like i would love to just talk to her. ugh. she wants to get a handle on the mood and then maybe add a stimulant #bc shes had it happen in thr past where someone comes in with debiltating 0cd and got treated with lam1ctol and a stimulant and the #obsessive rumination stopped. so well see. idk if ill actually qualify as 4dhd enough. well see. fingers crossed #my mood is a lil elevated rn so its all fun. well see if we tip off a cliff bc im getting less sleep and go go going #unrelated #ugh im scared to start the medine tho bc the ssri i got proscribed fucked me up so much. which is also an indicator of bip0lar #god dammit. if this works im gonna have to actually accept the idea of being bip0lar. i mean. it makes sense being on that spectrum #is just sounds insane and i was not expecting it despite my fucking obsession with understanding wtf my deal is #idk. whatever. doesnt matter

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