#was also feeling very nauseous
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i am restricting myself from googling my medical ailments bc of my hypochondria and obsession with it but i have questions i need answered and dont want to pay a copay just to ask my doctor so my last resort is typing it here i guess .
#is there such thing as like withdrawal/hangover from a prescription steroid?? bc i am feeling fatigue and exhaustion after taking#and finishing my dose from a severe sinus infection#was also feeling very nauseous#plus i think i have an ear infection that started after taking it but thats unrelated i think.#whatever. i always think there’s something wrong with me and my doctor said everything was fine but then this happened#personal#drugs tw
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How long until you heal enough for tummy rubs to be safe?
i think actually i need tummy rubs right now more than ever
#sci speaks#i've been rubbing my tumby so much.#there are some funny lumps underneath my bandages but i'm not allowed to take them off yet.#i'm meant to stay bandaged for two weeks. im only meant to replace them if they get wet.#i'm not meant to get wet.#i want to know what's underneath them. i want to know.#i want to see my weird little scars. i know they probably won't last very long.#but also the thought of seeing my gross little scars makes me feel nauseous.#but i want to see them#but maybe not on a full stomach.#but i want to see them!!
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wow I didn’t think reblogging that tea post and then seeing people’s tags would deal me such strong psychic damage. come over I can fix you I can find a tea you will like. “I don’t like tea” how can you say that as a blanket statement when there are so many vastly different kinds of tea. head in hands
#‘it’s like coffee but not good’#while a cup of black tea does have a great deal less caffeine in it than coffee#it also has a stimulant called l-theanine which is NOT found in coffee#and the more complex combination of the two stimulants hit your system much more slowly#which is why tea doesn’t give you jitters like coffee does#anyone who’s like wow I need my coffee to survive but I hate that it makes me nauseous and gives me heart palpitations and bad breath#to you I say. wean yourself off coffee and onto tea!!!!!!!#but WAIT I can keep going. nauseous? ginger tea. sore throat? peppermint contains menthol which works as a numbing agent#green and black teas are both very high in antioxidants#chamomile and lavender do both have a calming affect#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TASTE I hear you say#IT TASTES LIKE GRASS. try a floral tea or a black tea or chai or Thai tea#ITS SO BITTER you’re either steeping it for too long or the water you’re using is too hot#not to sound like I’m fucking uncle iroh or something I just apparnerlt have strong thoughts and feelings about tea#I can’t handle ppl going ugh I hate tea and it’s like. overbrewed lipton in microwaved tap water.#anyway MY favorites are jasmine and lavender earl grey#and currently I’m really into this corn silk tea my brother bought me at h mart#it’s like gen mai cha but even more#congrats for making it this far into my tea rant tags. if you comment your tastes I can give you a personalized tea recommendation
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Wally and the Colour RED
Wally and the colour Red have an interesting relationship in Welcome Home. This is a rambling/analysis of different things I've found that makes me believe it's an important detail moving forwards with the Welcome Home Mystery!
First! Why do I think this matters?
There's a few reasons why I think this matters! First, while all the members of the cast seem to be tied to a colour, none is as focused or as consistent as Wally and the colour red! The two primary examples I'll use to cover this is one that we've had for a while, and two that we got in this update. Those being the signatures at the bottom of the guestbook, the interactable telephone, and the name graphics on the transcript page!
Interestingly, all of the cast are directly tied to a specific colour! The signatures at the bottom of the Guestpage and the colours of the "calls" on the telephone are the same for each character. This being pink for Julie, orange for Sally, yellow for Frank, green for Poppy, turquoise for Howdy, blue for Barnaby, purple for Eddie, and red for Wally. This is consistent (and possibly something to pay attention for in the future?)
Notably however, Home is signed by Wally, while the audio file for Wally's "call" recording is also called "duet" when you open it in another tab. Audio files with "duet" is a sign that Home is present. This means that red is not strictly a Wally colour, but also the colour for Home!
(if you're curious, the other audio called "duet" is Wally's little song he sings)
This is interesting, because Wally and Home are often treated as a duo, moreso than any other characters of Welcome Home. I would also like to point out another detail, one that I think ties into this tie between Wally, Home and the colour red.
The Records
All the records from Wally's hidden message ("I will help you understand neighbor, I will find a way soon.") are red! Sure, some are glitched, but they are all red. As is this record with the strange audio (has anyone decoded this yet?). This audio is directly tied to Wally, as it's called "(DRAWING?) WITH WALLY DARLING".
However the hidden one's may not just be Wally. Though they are all name the tab "answer" when opened, I'm tempted to say that "answer" is wally prompting us to answer (or, alternatively, Wally is trying to answer us, however he perceives us).
I believe that Home is there too in the audio. If you listen to all of them in a row, turning up the audio will reveal that there is a heart beat in the background. This, I want to say, is Home and not Wally, as Wally does not seem to register them. It peaks about halfway through with Neighbor, coincidentally the audio that is both glitching and is made of a series of clicks rather than voice lines.
I have seen people say that this is "Help Me" or "Hello" in morse code. I do not know which is the agreed translation is (to me it sounds like "…. . ..-.. .. -.. ---", which translates to "HEĘIDO", which is not a word. However it most resembles "…. . .-.. .-.. ---" which translates to "HELLO")
Regardless of what Home may be saying, it shows that the hidden recordings can be put together into a timeline that sounds like one recording, which means it's most likely all recorded at the same place. Ergo, Home is in the hidden recordings as well!
Other spots where red is brought up
There are other instances of red being tied to Wally. Some are obvious, like his love of apples (red ones specifically), the Wally prints/finger paint on the bottom of the guestbook, the background of the "i <3 Wally" gif/sticker in the sticker section of the site (also shared with Home. Wally's character description is also shared by home!), Wally himself in the "so-below" page, among other things. Such as the Wally themed telephone being red, despite his more iconic blue swirled hair (or blue and yellow-trimed sweater), his clothing in multiple official artworks, the Wally cereal box, and more.
(Like something I've noticed, which is that Home is the only house that's a solid colour (red!) without any pattern breaking it up, plus the most "standout" red that Wally typically wears being tied around his neck (symbolism?). Plus the "W" of Welcome Home is red! That's fun too!
There's also some... stranger ones. Such as this hidden piece of morse code found by this person, which spells out ".. -- .-. . -..", or "IM RED" when translated to english.
And more hidden ones too, that tie into the hidden staff page (I have a post breaking that down that you can find here!! I cover everything I could find plus went through the website code, if you want to know everything about the secret staff site check it out!)
There is the red safe, which has in WHRP universe lore!! I delve into this in my other post, just know that it is something that exists both in the secret website (it is what introduces you to the hidden website!) AND it exists in the WHRP world, both written about in printed emails and as a physical object seen within The Room:tm:. You may also notice everyone is represented by their original colours, except for home, who is now white (or blank?).
There's also scrap pieces of red paper spilled on the ground in The Room:tm: (that have drawn spirals), a red clock in the style of Wally's red car, a red painting of some sort on the wall of The Room:tm: (that we never get a good look at, though it may have a drawn yellow eye in the upper center), a red apple, and most importantly of all, this:
The Red Notebook
This is no ordinary notebook. This here is the notebook that the WHRP team have "loaned" the Question Answerer, also known as the Head Curator of Question Answer! according to the printed emails. This book is very important because there are multiple signs that it was written by Wally. Inside is a sketchpad attached to the lefthand interior bookcase with little paintings and a handprint suspiciously similar to that on the bottom of the GuestBook page and doodles in the styles Wally has used (spirals, finger paint smiley face, the drawn apple, etc).
(by the way, if you're interested in what the note says the most accurate translation I've found is by Tumblr user truckfreaks
"Hello,
My name doesn't matter. I am here to catalogue something I'm not sure is fully real. But it must be. I'm holding all the evidence in my hands. Pictures. Characters. Text I can barely read. It's called "Welcome Home" and it looks like it might've been a children's book? Like I said, I can't tell.
It was sopping wet when I found it. When I first reached into one of the brightly colored envelopes, my hand was already covered in some gross, [unknown - possibly “oozing”] material. It feels like antiques are always covered in some kind of grime. I'm trying to clean up what I have and do a little more digging.
There's only one name I can make out right now... Wally. Probably important, but like I said, I'll keep looking.
XOXO"
The wrap up (don't want to make this too long!)
Regardless of what you make of this, it shows that there is even more proof of Wally, not just the character but the Wally ""haunting"" the website and the Wally within the WHRP universe, all being tied to the colour red. (Quick clarification: The Wally we see in branding, clips of the show, etc are all Wally, however he isn't current Wally. He is the Wally of the past, the original Wally, the base Wallly, whatever you want to call him. Therefore I separate him from the "now" Wally. It's unconfirmed whether the Wally that's seemingly trying to communicate with us through the website is the same as the Wally that seems to be related to all the objects being sent to Question Answerer, who is the same Wally that is constantly calling them. If so, then there is only one "now" Wally. If they are separate, then there are two, possibly one in the website itself and one focusing on Question Answerer. Please note, this is all speculation).
While it's true that red is Wally's favourite colour, I believe that it's far more than just that tying Wally and the color red together. Going forwards, anything red that isn't immediately branded as a Wally related object should be considered important, at least I think so.
As for the connection between Wally and Home, both sharing the colour Red? I think this primarily is a display of how the two characters either rely on each other or are, in the vaguest of ways, tied together by fate.
Good bye for now!
#welcome home#wally darling#welcome home analysis#wh home#i have... so many thoughts!! so much I wish to ramble on!! but I shall leave it with this#hopefully it makes sense! if not I will re-read it later and maybe make it more comprehensive#but summary: red and wally!! important!! this is important!!#also question answerer... you and me we're buds from another universe @:)#the reason why question answerer is mentioned is because their part of the story is VERY important when analyzing#the background WHRP-universe happenings. The objects are heavily implied to be coming straight from the Welcome Home world#(though covered in a black ooze. The same ooze mentioned in the letter BESIDE the notebook tied to Wally AND the same ooze growing on#growing on the walls of The Room:tm:)#Other objects appearing in The Room:tm: also have this black ooze. AND!!#this black ooze is known not just by Question Answerer (who seems to be the main restorer of the Welcome Home media)#but also by the WHRP team.. who directly tells Question Answerer that if they feel nauseous#dizzy sick or otherwise unwell around the stuff.. to just ignore it!#denial TRULY is the BEST medication folks /it is not please take care of yourselves!!#however the emails (printed? which is suspicious?) between the WHRP team and Question Answerer are... odd#very odd. An oddness that goes beyond a simple company acting in corporate interest over employee safety#maybe I should cover that?#hmmmm so many things!! so many thoughts!!#Alas my habit of writing much in the tags cannot be stopped. anyways thank you very much for reading!!#I encourage you to share thoughts (if you wish! No pressure of course!)#syncrovoid.txt
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just received +25 psychic damage by relating song lyrics to the treatment of demigods in pjo
#coffins by misterwives#when i tell yall i made myself nauseous#i heard the lyrics “how do you soften the thought of carrying coffins? we were so alive only to see us wither and die” and i thought of#lester carrying jasons coffin to camp jupiter#this entire song feels like demigods who once had faith in the gods. but just can't anymore after being used for so long#god what i could do if i could edit videos still#lyrics “your ego swallowed you and from there you fled so far away could not find your way back”#SO lester coded#OH FUCK IT GETS WORSE#“i shook your ears tried to make you hear my call but you were long gone. no hope in a sunless dawn”#tell me thats not piper when shes holding jasons body#oh my GOD I SHOULD BE SLEEPING RN BUT SDJFKSLNFJSKLNJK im inflicting the damage on myself at this point#trials of apollo#the burning maze#toa spoilers#tbm spoilers#jason grace#lester papadopoulos#piper mclean#percy jackson#pjo#oh my GOD upon further analysis#it could also be very much thalia @ luke coded#about his corruption and turning his back on demigods#ohhhhhh this song is going to be the death of me
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also i hate to admit it and i swear i DO understand the importance of them but fellas i fear i may be steadily morphing into a humanities hater
#the lack of required humanities teaching is likely directly related to why things are so fucked up stupid right now and they are SO crucial#but it is a fact that now every time i think about writing an essay i get slightly nauseous#specifically avoided taking any humanities classes this semester & ONE of my classes has an essay and im genuinely nervous abt it#i'm not a math whiz but at least it's more justifiable to be bad and hateful of numbers. shit has me- the chronic rambler- scared of words#im so. so sick of final projects. just give me a fucking bubble sheet i'm so serious it is significantly less stress and effort#why do professors act like writing a 5 page essay for 4 different classes is easier than filling out a piece of paper & leaving in an hour#and why does it feel like most of my peers AGREE. WHY WOULD YOU PREFER THAT#I GET THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE GET TEST ANXIETY BUT THAT IS LIKE TWO HOURS OF STRESS VS TWO WEEKS TO A MONTH OF STRESS I DONT GET IT#this is not a tangent because humanities classes will almost always have an essay instead of a test and it will almost always be an essay.#eye twitch. but as long as everyone else is happy about not having to circle things on a piece of paper i guess. its okay. its fine#anyway my other reasonings are that shit really is boring im sorry i cant. i cannot get into it i really do try my best#and also all the classes are annoyingly early which just really does not help their association in my brain#sigh. the humanities play a very important role in education and society as a whole and they deserve to be mandatory. get them away from me
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it's almost time. when? idk, when i stop being a coward LOL
#would be kinda funny if i waited to post it on 4/20 like haha happy bday curt *lights blunt*#genuinely can't bring myself to hit post tho been staring at it all day#it's so much scarier than posting a oneshot i want to do this right and i want to do the way i see them in my head justice#posting my writing never gets less nervewracking for me#like oh hello strangers and friends i just poured my heart out onto a page and now i'm offering it up with shaking hands#and i'm trying very hard to be normal about it because it's not that deep but also i care very much SJDGJK#but i think i'll post it before tonight i just feel NAUSEOUS#still need to write an end note anyway#i'm fr just yapping to stall atp LMAO#dog coded bucky fic#johnslittlespoon yaps#i'm also like what if it doesn't live up to expectations. LIKE YEAH WHAT IF. the world goes on. but i will be so hard on myself bruh
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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Katelyn Mackenzie/Aaron Minyard Characters: Neil Josten, Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick, Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Renee Walker (All For The Game), Allison Reynolds (All For The Game), Kevin Day, David Wymack, Matt Boyd, Aaron Minyard Additional Tags: this is a theater kid au, we will get andreil eventually because they are my life, canon divergence - no exy, this is my first real fic so please bear with me, costume technician neil josten, set designer andrew minyard, actor kevin day, director nicky hemmick Summary:
What if Neil's touchstone was not exy, but....theater? Growing up in community productions, being in a children's choir, helping out with painting sets and going over scripts. What if instead of a striker, he was a costume technician? Sewing and patching and disguises are great skills to have while on the run, y'all.
#hello its my first fic#please enjoy#and share if you like it <3#i feel nauseous posting this lol#but also so excited!!#i loved being a theater kid#and i wanted the foxes to get some of that fun#also theater is very gay so it tracks#neil josten#mir writes#andrew minyard#aftg#aftg fanfic#mine#all for the game#fan fic
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i bought one of those menstrual cups just to give it a try and i ordered the small size but this shit is still big as fuck like are you fr???
#rambles.#cw periods#sorry tmi but i'm??#am i genuinely just small-coochied or what??? or does it feel like this to everyone?#i mean i got it in but it lowkey felt like it was in my fucking throat bro#also idk what i was thinking in the first place because my cervix is generally not a very happy camper#but i wasn't expected the material to be so hard 😭#now i'm nauseous and cramping. i'm not even at the end of my pill pack i just decided to try it out but i regret it now lmao
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still feel so vindicated by tpatd. i dont rly have proof of it but i always wanted tlq to be a bit of a strange beast but i was worried it conflicted w canon (the wraith in particular, and the lack of a visible mouth in his appearances) so i scrapped some ideas i had to make him more beastly so tpatd was such an incredible and welcome surprise
#stp spoilers#i know theres the whole 'fuck canon' thing and i support that but i tend to try rly hard to make my works as canon compliant as possible#it bothers me if i dont#which prob sounds strange from someone who draws objects w animal limbs#but that feels more like artistic interpretation of simple designs than contradictory#and i also just sorta felt like everyone else must be onto smth or know smth i dont so seeing the popular general design for tlq#made me think that it mustve been intended for him to be so humanlike#being wrong made me so excited i got nauseous when i got to see tpatd#love that the guy has a huge beak and a creepy smile#i love a character who acts very normal and personality wise is generally just Some Guy#but is actually a weird guy who is a little scary#ill post some of my art of him in a bit after i get some food#actually art too lol not just joke stuff#i gotta start populating this blog w art ive been making since i got back into the game#maybe even my animation wip.... gotta work on that#AND i gotta get my voice designs posted bc theyre not that out there but im happy w them and had fun making them!
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chat i am sooo cooked
#my ear has been sealed shut for . three? hours now?#roommate gave me hydrogen peroxide to try to rinse it. been doing that repeatedly for at least an hour and a half#very little effect. uhhhh#maybe i'll let it 'dry out' and try again later...??#i'm. really tired#and also really nauseous !! my ears are messed up !! everything feels dizzy and bad !!#hngfndjgndgnd#pho.posts#i'm fine i'll be fine. promise#if anyone has advice i will gladly take it btw
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i think that, compared to the memories we see of him being so much larger than life, so bombastic, so terrifying, compared to even the last episode where louis builds up his return as this great imposing moment, lestat slinking in the shadows as he inches closer and louis intones about how He's Coming only to be revealed with a great flourish, it's very interesting that the first time we see lestat, the real lestat, devoid of bias from anyone's memories, seeing him through our own eyes for the first time, he's anything but. we see him for the first time and he's fragile and, in spite of his nature, very human.
#personal#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#is this anything? who's to say i slept like ass and i've been nauseous all day#but there's such an interesting contrast in lestat's return in 2x07#where again it's this moment that's built up with so much anticipation and this glorious return (in spite of the circumstances)#but the first time we ourselves see lestat it's not at all like that#there's no flourish there's no grandiosity#just this fragile all too human man who feels so very normal#like the personality is there and whatnot but the energy is different#and part of that is circumstances and grief and all of that but it's also just#he is still a person at the end of the day and a lot of what we saw from him in louis and armand's memories was almost that of an idea#the intangible Essence of lestat rather than lestat himself#whereas here there's no biases or illusions to come into play and muddy the narrative it's just lestat#anyway sam reid's performance was godtier
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not sure if its gonna continue forever but the past couple nights theyve started turnjng half the lights off at work when its closing time and besides the environmental impact, as a certified Big Light Hater im loving this change
#fuck the big light all my homies hate the big lihht#(thats not true its mostly only me and it drives me insane sitting in a room feeling nauseous bc theres a big ass light on and no one cares)#actually if a lot of other lights are on its less bad#we used to have just one really bad overhead light in the living room#and halfway into dnd id literally feel so much dread#but the dm who was very controlling and vindictive would get upset as hell if i turned the lamp on#iirc she also would get upset at me having a lamp on in the living room which was basically my bedroom at the time#fun times#anyway
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hi everyone :’) i havent been on tumblr much lately because i am 1) not watching anything and 2) still dealing with the effects of a bunch of fun medical stuff! i am doing ok but my body hates me so so so much lately. i have the energy and ability(?) to do only a few very specific things right now (play elden ring, let youtube forcefeed me kpop videos, languish) and that does not include watch show or make gif or even write no matter how much i might want to. so. this is how it is haha. miss u guys
#it feels silly to make a post like this when im still on here nearly every day but i Feel disconnected. yknow#like i rb something once a day. i hardly talk to my mutuals. idk#i post vaguely often about my Medical Situation but. i think it might be good if i clarify so#this year since april ive been dealing with a sudden and long-term resurgence of pain that ive had before#originally we thought it was ovarian cysts (which ive been troubled by before)#but that got ruled out mostly. so#my doctor ‘diagnosed’ it as endometriosis (note quotes; it’s apparently not possible to diagnose endo without a surgery which i havent had)#(and so this is just an educated guess on her part and on mine. but a decent one)#i went on hormone meds for that which dont seen to be working for the endo but do regulate other things#but that significantly worsened my depression#so im on ssris now#theres also some other issues with me i dont care to disclose here#and its really just been A Lot#right now the ssris are on a very low dose but they are making me brutally dizzy and nauseous also.#i keep trying to be optimistic and then i get dunked on. but i will keep hoping#it will pass but fuck could it pass faster#rowan chatter#i have actually managed to write some despite all this. but show watching has fallen to the wayside
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-- Poorly Constructed Enchanted Tool --
A small tool carved from a fruit tree seed. Energy to power the enchantment has seemingly run-out long ago, and the method of recharging is unknown - but, based on the appearance, it's very likely that this was once used for detecting magic. Usually, looking through the glass center would highlight areas of higher magical energy concentration present in the viewer's environment, even if they were otherwise obscured to the naked eye. While this form of enchantment itself is highly advanced, the craftsmanship of the item is far less neat or complex than what might be typically seen in similar devices. It may have been made as part of training/practice, or as a hasty replacement for a previous tool that had broken.
#written from the perspective of some fantasy traveler who checks all of the local thrift-stores and lost & found places for every#town they visit - looking for interesting items and documenting them or something#In reality - just another one of my goofy little avocado pit carvings lol. Still working on inlaying little stones in them and stuff#I don't really have the tools to make super intricate stuff but doing little plain swirly patterns is still fine enough lol.#WORKING ON NEW POLL ADVENTURE also I know I know it's been months.. I have been Busy and struck by the evils of summer#But like I mentioned in the previous one I do want to at LEAST finish the quest with the egg lol#ANYWAY.#Things like this would plausibly exist in Nanyevimi (my fantasy world) but wouldn't be very common as - like mentioned- this would be an#extremely advanced enchantment. REALLY advanced mages could sense magic around them (to varying degrees of pinpoint accuracy of location#) without even having to use any external device. But for a majority of people there's really no way to know someone is using magic near#you unless you either see visual proof or if it's strong enough to feel effects from it (since magic is kind of like radiation in that the#higher energy/more of it youre exposed to the more it damages you/can make you sick/etc.) and even then most people would just be like#'hmm why do I feel so nauseous and bad out of nowhere?' likely wouldn't directly think to link it to magic. Thus the only really reliable w#way isto just hone your senses over like 500 years as you become an expert mage - OR use enchantments like these. But a 'sense magic' encha#ntment is not as common as a just 'magic is not allowed here' enchantment. If you wanted to prevent magic from being usedin a space#it's easier to just put up a broad barrier enchantment around that space than to have some sort of Magic Sensor to pick out if it's being#done and then handle each individual case of it . etc. etc. These sort of things can have their uses (especially for people investigating#things or trying to be secretive about detecting something etc.) but are less common - especially in this form (where visuals are used. itd#be more likely to jsut have like 'piece of metal that gets warm or cool depending on magic nearby'.) ANWAY so this is why it's a notable#object. Though a majority of the realm is not very magic literate - if you were a researcher or a mage and found this at a pawn shop you'd#definitely be like 'oohhh!! :0 inch resting... ' if not you might just be like 'oh cool necklace!' lol#also love the quick 2min ''costume'' for the image of it being used. literally just 'wrap yourself in scarves from the waist up' and slap o#a wig and ears lol#on this blog I guess since it's worldbuilding related and technically art.. maybe more like crafting? I should have a crafts tag lol.. hmm
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my last week, a visual demonstration
#Robin processes emotions on main#hi yes I came back early. it's in order to process. I needed to like.... spill my guts on the dashboard tonight#IM STRUGGLING..#I have GOT to get a job#just one (1) more visit to a friend this summer and then I will be APPLYING for things again#also I'm having the very devil of a time trying to get myself to contribute to this household. I hate it#I hate that helping out makes me feel like I'm losing my agency—losing myself—like I'm dying every time. I want to be BETTER than this#but I also need to feel like an adult with agency but also I need to BEHAVE like an adult but even just saying that makes me feel nauseous#I need. something. to change. I hate this. I feel selfish and cowardly and I hate feeling selfish and cowardly#I need to . communicate. work something out with my mother so that I stop feeling perpetually behind and ashamed#if I could manage to feel good about chores and not just like I'm scrambling to keep up..... that would..... be... more... motivational#the problem is that I feel unsafe/unstable right now and my instinctive response is to close myself off to all demands#WHICH AS YOU CAN IMAGINE IS NOT CONDUCIVE TO BECOMING MORE STABLE.#demand avoidance makes me bad at contributing to the household AND terrified of applying to jobs and AUGH... AUGH.#I DO BETTER WHEN I LIVE ON MY OWN#living on my own‚ I don't have to deal with the whole soul-crushing horrorshow of negotiating my own emotions about doing chores#chores are GOOD and ENJOYABLE when they're for ME. they're only psychological torture when they're things I do as part of my ''rent''#ok. bedtime. I've sufficiently spilled my dang guts all over the place. it will get better eventually I think#I'm just having a horrible time Right Now#I'll figure this out though dangit#I KNOW the answer is to just Do the stuff and face fears and communicate and whatever I KNOW. but if anyone tells me that I'm going to bite#ok I'm done thank you and sorry to anyone reading this far <3 it really will be all right
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