#and its my responsibility to find it
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#aaanddd now im crying#lovd it here ha!#i have to make dinner and i need to find a fried ricd recipe#i hate the internet its so ficking confusing.#and its my responsibility to find it#i never had a fucking childhood idk how to do this#im not#ready to be 18 im still just a fucking kid#plus like#again i feel like everyone fucking hates me#takes all my self control to not deactive when im like this#dont do it campbell ur just gonna regret it later#kms lol!!#tw sui ideation#<- just in case#fuck my life#vent
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what kind of underwear do you think Erik and Charles wear (i'm not asking this to see them half naked) ((please believe me)) (((PLEASE)))
My Personal Belief is charles is a briefs guy while erik's a trunks guy. trunks/briefs kinda couple because i can
and idk just a lil bonus or somethin. as i do.
#nsft#probably. again A Promotion Would Be In Order From Me Personally but WHATEVER.#cherik#im too tired to tag everything ok this post'll find its people#snap sketches#not too tired for a tag ramble tho eUUGGHHH#i HAVE to post the second bit now or ill be editing it all night and for what. i will live#and my silly ass said i wouldnt draw that reading idea. well guess what im a LIAR who LIES.#i do wanna revisit that proper tho .. at least draw em by the fireplace someday but anyway#i think the funny thing is i had like. plans to draw charles in purple briefs just cause he wore them once and i chortled Unreasonably#so here we are. youll have to forgive me my friend i have a condition called If I Get An Excuse To Draw I Will#it is a very serious condition cause i need to SLEEEEPP truly and honestly locking in later i HAVE to#leaving all of you with this for the next idk twelve hours thats crazy#all i want to do is draw but i feel my eyes . Getting Weird and i have exams so i guess i should be a responsible person and sleep#i actually have a lot i need to catch up on so like. i prob wont be back on until this weekend when im Hopefully more free#'snap didnt you say that last night' I HAVE TO BE SERIOUS THIS TIME i got a lot. so i will see everyone saturday Hopefully#please give me the strength to focus for once thank you#for now good night everyone !!! please enjoy my doodlings from today. yesterday. i must not make any more for now
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i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.
BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.
Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.
Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.
But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.
Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.
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They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.
It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.
If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)
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Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.
They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.
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Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.
One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.
Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.
And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.
She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.
She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?
And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.
(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)
The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.
Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul#its kinda hard to get my thoughts in order bc i am ✨unmedicated✨ rn BUT#this is the gist of it#i could wax poetic about how much sam and tucker adore danny as their friend but alas. the wax is not waxing. it is stuck to the paper#and i am chipping it off with my nail and its getting stuck under it.#ocarina batman has been in my head since friday someone come sedate me. him and pit fighter batman too. who is ALSO a piss poor teenage#bruce wayne who instead of a vigilante and villains is a PIT FIGHTER. he fights blindfolded thats why he's called the bat#ocarina batman's Look is if you combined punk + assassins creed aesthetic together and then gave it an ocarina#the ocarina is because i thought it'd be cool if its how he and robin communicated across long distances bc they didnt have comms#because they are ✨poor✨ and live in a one room apartment in crime alley.#and also the mental image of him sitting on. rooftop ledge in the rain playing 'song of storms' from LoZ was too fantastic to ignore#like bro imagine hearing that as a criminal. you're off doing shady shit with your gang and in the distance you hear the faint and#haunting melody of an ocarina. two of them in a call and response duet. and its getting closer. and you cannot find where#siren type shit fr fr#look he has the assassins creed hood and a long ass coat that has spikes on the end that when flared out looks like the silhouette of a bat#on fucking GOD i am this 👌 close to finding an artist doing commissions to make this for me. i am frothing at the mouth#he is 17-19 years old with his little brother-son Robin. Logically Robin is Dick but in my heart of hearts the first Robin is Jason#and he has perfected the art of getting his older brother to play songs on the pan flute for him. long pitchy whine on his own ocarina#the familiar childlike 'pleeeaaaaaaase?' and he knows he's won when there is a 10s silence on the other end before his brother plays#a lullaby.#look up 'sailor moon - pan flute (relaxing) on youtube' and when there's the thumbnail of two green skinned aliens with long blue and pink#hair. click on it. THAT is the song Bruce plays.#hhhhhhhhhhh frothing at the mouth over this au sooo fucking badly
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~ a little something about Dazai surprising you on your day off ~
Dazai's not by any means an early riser... That is unless he gets to see you that day.
It's 8 AM and he's tapping his fingers against his pant leg lightly, but he's actually really anxious and impatient. He’s waiting for you to open the front door and flash him that life changing smile of yours he’s been coveting for all week. Today’s your day off and he's decided to come over and spend the day with you so he can cherish every single moment, totally not because he’s slacking off work and wants to do the only other thing he does with his life other than avoid his responsibilities: Be the bane of your existence. You also have a nasty little habit of being a workaholic and he's here to break that once and for all. He's completely spaced out now, lips pursed and brows slightly furrowed in thought when suddenly—
You finally open the door. His angel, his everything. He immediately switches his whole demeanor, eyes twinkling as he scans your figure. You’re still in pajamas, and your hair looks messy. You look absolutely delectable for someone who just woke up to 3 missed calls and 10 texts. Dazai smirks as he leans in, wiggling his brows in an exaggerated manner.
"Well look who’s finally awake! What a sleepy little thing you are. Makes me jealous of that stupid bed of yours… Did you get my texts? Come here."
He looms over you in the middle of the doorway, kissing you softly, tenderly and hungrily.
You blink, and before you can catch your bearings you’re interrupted by the softness of his eager lips. If your mouth opens, he’s pouncing. After a few moments of uninterrupted bliss, you pull back, eyes still drowsy and breathing a bit shallow. You yawn, running your fingers through your bedhead.
“Sorry. I, um… was still asleep until now. I was trying to sleep in-”
He gasps, and tilts his head, as if baffled by this.
“Now why would you do that when we have plans today?”
“... We don’t, though?”
Dazai laughs, dismissing your rightful confusion. He knows you guys never discussed plans, he just doesn't care. He lightly pinches your nose in between his fingers.
“We do! It’s why I let you sleep in for a few extra hours before coming over.”
You lazily swat at him, crinkling your nose. He’s swooning! Dazai feels a jolt of electricity through his body upon seeing the way you respond to his doting. Making you flustered is his favorite entertainment, besides suicide of course.
“But it’s 8 AM.”
“Exactly! That’s like half the day."
"... How long have you been up for?”
He rolls his eyes affectionately as he buffs his knuckles on his tan coat, replying with a nonchalant hum.
“Hmm, not important— What’s for breakfast?”
He lets himself into your apartment and you sigh into a defeated smile that somehow still holds affection for this ridiculous man. You follow him as he strides to the kitchen and fold your arms across your chest.
“You know, I’m kinda grumpy right now. It’s too early, Osamu. I need my sleep."
“And might I say you look absolutely stunning when you’re grumpy? How ever did I get this lucky…”
“Keep it up and I’ll get even worse, you goofball.”
Dazai smiles, it’s sly and dangerous. A challenge, he hears? He pretends to think for a moment, his finger placed on his lips as if really contemplating something. He’s just picturing what you’d look like yelling at him. Heavenly, of course. He flashes you a tender smile as if you just said the most romantic thing and curls his arm around your waist, whispering.
“Ooh, then I can’t wait to see worse.~”
You roll your eyes, unable to help the pink hue spreading over your face. Maybe you're still half asleep, maybe you’re just hopelessly in love with him. Either way you’re screwed. You whine with a hint of annoyance.
“Osamuuuu…”
Oh how he loves when you say his name like that. Maybe it’s time for you two to skip breakfast, he already does anyway, but he knows you actually need nutrients to function. He replies in a singsong voice.
“Yeeesss?”
“I’m making pancakes and you are going to sit down and wait.”
You point at the kitchen counter trying to be stern, and of course, failing miserably.
He looks back at the stool and then back at you. He leans within inches of your face, his nose poking yours. He clicks his tongue disapprovingly and winks.
“No can do, cutie~”
You two spend the morning making breakfast, or at least trying to. YOU are trying to, anyway. Everytime you go to gather ingredients, he’s already handing them to you. When your back is turned to him, you feel his arms snaking around you as you flip pancakes unevenly due to the distracting trail of kisses he's leaving down your neck. You secretly smile to yourself whenever you’re not feigning irritation, you know he loves the banter… Why not indulge the poor man?
You serve two plates and sit down, along with two mugs of coffee. Dazai isn’t allowed to have caffeine around you, but once again, you took pity on him today for some reason… or is it his mystifying persuasion manipulation at play here? He takes a sip of his mug and a satisfying ‘Ahh’ releases soon after. He flickers his eyes towards you as you're about to sip yours as well, and it’s like the world stops. His pupils dilate and he watches intently as the rim reaches your lips, resting his chin on his palm as he leans lazily over the counter. He’s like a dog watching its owner adoringly. During his trance-like state, he thinks about how if you lived together this would be his every day routine. He could get used to watching you drink coffee and eat food. You'd wake up next to each other and hold hands as you watch the sun rise. He would tell you how breathtaking you look with bedhead and make you late for work after failing to keep his hands to himself. Maybe then you wouldn't think he's such an impenetrable wall of secrets. He wonders if there's a future where all of that happens... He snaps out of it, and murmurs.
“Can I have a taste?”
You perk up and look over, tilting your head to the side, amused.
“What, the coffee? You have your own.”
He’s so focused now, staring at your full lips, thinking of a proper answer. He wants to tell you that he's never had intimate moments like these with anyone else and he doesn’t know how long it’ll last before his luck with you runs out, that he’s afraid you’ll see right through his one dimensional facade and leave him for good. That you won’t follow him to his untimely demise should he ever fall, so he has to capture every second of it so he can keep you in his mind forever. He has to lock you up in his heart and throw away the key, otherwise becoming a man of virtue loses all its meaning.
Instead, he opts for the less complicated route, the corners of his lips curling up into a coy smile as he places a gentle hand on your thigh.
“No, your lips, dummy. I want to taste the coffee off of your lips.”
There are no words for the audacity of Osamu Dazai and the feelings thrashing inside you when he says things like that. You smile bashfully and look away, unable to accept his shameless flirting.
“You’re so weird, Osamu…”
“Mm, I'm so yours. No takesies backsies.~"
You slowly meet his gaze, his watchful eyes that ooze devotion practically holding yours hostage… God, you are so beautiful to him. Before you can even register it, Dazai scoops you up bridal style and carries you to the living room, laying you down on the soft couch. His eyes darken as he looks down at you, his fingers tracing the outline of your lips. As soon as you show him the look of love that gives him the consent he’s looking for, he doesn’t think twice about it. He grabs your chin and pulls you into a messy kiss. He kisses you rough, his tongue almost immediately sliding into your mouth as he moans into you. His moans turn into whimpers, like he's been starved of touch for far too long and you're satiating the hunger. He needs to taste the coffee you just drank, and he wants you to know exactly how much he's been aching for this moment. For your much needed day off. For you.
He keeps his hand at your chin, pressing you down deeper into the couch with his hips grinding against yours as he tastes the acidity of the coffee along with the honey you sweetened it with.
Finally, when you literally cannot breathe, you pull away with your dazed and blissed out expression, all red in the face just like he loves. You mumble in between pants.
“Wait— So... What exactly was the plan for today?”
He looks up from running his tongue along your jawline and flashes you that infamously deceptive smile he perpetually keeps on his face, tapping his index finger on your cheek. His voice comes out in a breathy whisper.
“Breakfast.”
“.. But we already had breakfast.”
He sighs deeply and his finger ghosts its way from your cheek down to the waistband of your pajama bottoms as he needily mumbles in your ear.
“Still hungry.. I’m a growing boy, you know.~”
You let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head.
"You're going to tire me, Osamu.. Work wears me out enough as is-"
He wiggles a finger at you, face full of sickening desire as he carefully lowers his head down by your stomach, resting his cheek on your soft flesh. He murmurs in that soft pleading way that drives you insane when he combos it with his reverent touch.
"Listen to me, please. No more work talk... No more stressing out your pretty self, okay? I haaaaate demanding jobs. It only takes you away from me."
You look down and simply nod, your eyes trained on the way he looks at you from under his lashes and the soft brown hair that frames his face. Your heart races with anticipation as a smile slowly creeps up onto your lips. You don't need words for what comes next.
For the rest of the day, he makes sure you have the best time off, it's the least he can do as your incredibly attentive and not selfish at all boyfriend! A day where you can shut out all thoughts of work... along with literally anything else that doesn't relate to him.
Unfortunately for you, there is no resting involved on said day. Fortunately for Dazai, you look so cute as you writhe under him for hours on end. That'll get it through your pretty little skull not to work so much.
#god i just love needy obsessive dazai who cannot fathom that u have responsibilities#he's like i don't care abt mine! and u shouldn't either!#silly boy silly DOG#he hates when u work so much he needs to take care of youuuuuuuu#he's just like...... waking up plotting scheming#at his core dazai wants touch and intimacy more than anything and when he finds that in you its a whole new world for him#he loves u he wants u he NEEDS u#if u dont learn your lesson he will teach it to u#patheticzai my husband#he tires u out becayse the man is rabid and has the stamina of a demon#bungou stray dogs#dazai x reader#osamu dazai#bsd dazai#dazai x you#osamu dazai x reader#bsd x reader#dazai imagines#yandere dazai#ada dazai#yandere#gn reader#dazai#bungo stray dogs#osamu dazai fluff#dazai fluff
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Seeing all these posts on the DCA's bday and the 21st of September got me making this thing.
*sensibly chuckles to self*
Happy Reveal-versary to Sun & Moon and happy 21st Sept!
@crabsnpersimmons , thank you for the advice!
#shitpost#rlly just a silly idea. dont know anyone else will find it funny; ppl irl call me weird and old for making such jokes and references#got that song in my head#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf dca#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#dca fandom#fnaf memes#wanted to do a doodle but too tired#aaaahhhhh#arina makes#<- lame ass tag ill find a better one#hope its not disrespectful. putting the bois over his face like that#edit: decided to post it. thx Crabs for the advice. the cake analogy rlly helped#although its pretty lame... dont think its what ppl expected when i sent that ask...#scheduled post#<- so that i wont sit and stare at my laptop to see responses
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itll be alright
#it actually wont#💔#but hes just a baby. and she is his everything#the 3rd ep hurt me.....#but also thinking about how during the earlier times on the ark when he was much much younger#maria would be the only solace he would have#between the scientists treating him like a test and subjecting him to painful experiments just because he cant die#and the scorn of anyone else#the only place he can find warmth and love is in her light#shadow confused and lost not knowing his purpose well yet as hes forced to face all of it. like a scared animal#i know gerald would be decent to him but its never going to be more than firm kindness that wont ever take priority over his responsibility#they gave him his rings but in the early days they probably wouldnt be bothered to dress him and just let him go from the lab as is#hes doing it all for her but hes just small#god#im feeling a lot#shadow the hedgehog#maria robotnik#my art#shadria#not romantic in this case. just his most important person. taisetsuna hito. etc. they need to make a tag for them pls
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TUMBLR PHANNIES
hey everyone!! ive created a survey to compare/contrast phandom experiences by platform....and i really want to hear from you!
its abt a 5-15 min time commitment depending on your answers, but your feedback is invaluable and it's completely anonymous!! (i hope it doesn't need saying but this survey is run without platform bias and the last thing i want to do is pit people against each other! i just need a bigger sample size!)
thank you <3
#if i get a large enough sample size ill write a paper with the findings#bc its always been so interesting to me#but i cant make sweeping generalizations without having data to back it up yk#so if u filled it out ill give u a live turkey and my hand in marriage#please#dan and phil#dan and phil games#phandom#dnp#amazingphil#danisnotonfire#daniel howell#phandom survey#hate begging for retweets but if i get 2 responses from tumblr and 20 from twitter it would be so skewed#so i rly want to make sure i get a relatively even spread#thank you thank you thank you
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911: Lone Star | Carlos "I Don't Avoid" Reyes
#911 lone star#911lsedit#carlos reyes#tk strand#andrea reyes#full disclosure the andrea laughing gif is out of context. she doesnt laugh in response to that line. even tho she should have 100%#its more-so a representation of ME laughing uncontrollably while making this set#this set is me lovingly dragging his ass because that line was out of control hilarious given *gestures wildly above*#honestly there are probs some other ones I could have included somehow I just couldn't find a way to make them work smoothly#we love one (1) insanely repressed man who avoids all confrontation outside of his work and its carlos reyes#my gifs#911ls parallel#episode: s04e12 swipe left#episode: s02e02 2100°#episode: s02e04 friends with benefits#episode: s03e11 prince albert in a can#episode: s03e13 riddle of the sphynx#episode: s04e01 the new hotness#my faves
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kitty kitty kitty
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#listen ok hear me out ok there is a wonderful duo i know online#who have a lovely orange cat named ferdinand and i love him and this is ONLY a problem#because i now have a funky lil orange kitten boy myself and his name is Caramel Latte and i keep#almost calling him the wrong name and im so embarrassed w myself#but after spending a year looking at someone elses cat via photo spams when i can its like#aha thats the name of a Cat#anyway i love my lil fella my lil guy#and we adopted him and his mama and they were basically living upstairs in the guest room to be Safe and Sound#bc i am the only resident upstairs and so its quieter#and so for a week the mom would come to my room and just MEOW at 4am#and id be like ope my turn#and then i would leave my room and go to the guest room and play with Caramel Latte and his 4am zoomies#im designated other parent and its truly an honor ok#my dad would be like oh no cant find the lil guy and im like ohyeah ? bet? and he would RUN ON OUT and sit on my foot#Latte loves me a lot...te.....#and i showed a lil video of him to someone on discord and her response was#his ears are too big for his lil head#and its true he has huge ears and i wuv him and he will grow into them eventually its fine he is hardly just over a month old#anyway kittens my beloved
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& he forgives you dogs are like that so loyal dead dogs are just happy you're here Let Dead Dogs Lie, Silas Denver Melvin (from Grit)
〔You grit your teeth so hard that they shatter into fangs.〕
#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat#isat spoilers#isat sprite edit#sprite edit#isabeau isat#of stitches in sequence#basil paints#does this actually. count as spoilers actually? eh.#NEEDED to get some good sharp smiles in there.#the original caption was a different poem (one that starts with 'i love you like a rotten dog') but i couldnt find a source for it.#i think this one works pretty well though.#grit is a poetry collection and its inherently queer. silias denver melvin is trans masculine.#the entire collection is online in pdf form for free!!! i really recommend it if you enjoy poetry!!!!!#in response to 'when you have children' is another one of my favorites from it.#SORRY. for the poetry ramble on my silly osis post.
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here's an update for all the "tOuRiSm iS fOr ThE pEoPlE" fucks. always remember that the second anyone steps foot on that land in the name of "tourism" or any other haole institution, that is colonizing&that person is a fucking explicit modern colonizer who made the conscious decision to be one and has spent a lot of fucking money on that trip to get their title. only that kine want more of their kin there-- don't pretend that shit is for anyone else.
drop dead of spontaneous combustion specifically, not even the sharks would want that pīlau fucking meat.
#video footage of haole families already in burnt wasteland is so fucking dystopic its almost funny#'funny' in the way of 'i might have rabies bc im foaming at the mouth lol'. bc fuck if i wouldnt literally#rip these ppl to fucking shreds. god bless whoever took the pics&vids bc i couldnt havd held my tongue.#you know we're all fucked when the governor is holding private back-chamber business-only meetings#to decide to open a fire wasteland two months after 1000+ ppl were killed&where ppl are still looking for remains to tourism#&it honestly seems so much less disgusting bc theres literally footage of haole families already disregarding any form of boundaries.#like this is what we've come to lmao.#i have so. much. violence. in me&no where to put it lmao. i want to go home. i miss home so bad. i am so fucking homesick.#i think the next person who responds to finding out im from hawaii w anecdotes of their trip there will probably get knocked out.#like i dont actually think i should be held responsible for that first hit. anything after is fair game tho i guess.#undescribed
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Love Laudna wanting Orym to be the one to cut her down if need be because she feels he can make hard choices, and Travis like "uh hello? What about Chetney? You want to put Orym through that anguish? I am right here" like damn, he right tho
#chet is 400+. his relationship with grief is very different from orym who is 6 years into being a widow and being retraumatised each day#chetney is big picture#he doesnt have that same level of responsibility for the others safety and protection that someone like orym has#not to say he doesnt care. he very much does. its just different#for him sometimes caring means putting your dog down when they are suffering#orym would see having to hurt his friends as a personal failing#like how he saw himself dying as a failure#i do find it funny whenever the team is like 'what if i hurt one of you when i lose control? i couldnt live with myself :('#'anyway orym i want you to kill me on purpose'#and orym just like :/ because what is he going to do? say no?#set boundaries and take his own future mental state into account?#nope. if it helps the others then he will commit an unforgivable act and barely be able to live with the guilt after#love that the halfling has been weaponised#this sounds sarcastic. i mean it. its juicy storytelling#the hells need to take chetney into account more. this man is pop pop. he cares in the way a dad friend would#gentle and sweet at times. an empathetic listener#but also willing to smack the shit out of you if you do some fuckshit#he would be so gentle with taking them out#would immortalize them through his woodwork after to remember them#critical role#cr3#orym#chetney#text post#4sd spoilers#my posts#idk if thats a needed tag#sorry for my wall of text tags but i ramble
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out of curiosity, would you consider yourself butch?
used to be a blonde underweight twink and now I'm a based jock still got the chanel bag and the sick albeit matured mind of a suckpig to prove it so I'm gonna let you decide whether you wanna call me that word just cuz I got a pussy and short hair. I promise you that there have been enough advancements made in the art of lesbian sexual dynamics in the past 50 years to broaden the vocabulary used to describe the plethora of types of masculine females.
#being called butch just reminds me of how much males have the freedom to navigate between male archetypes and how people pay attention to#the distinguishing features of these varying masculinities#but when a female is seen as masculine it all gets lumped under the “butch” category#her masculinity is seen as unnatural and therefore incapable of being considered genuine or taken at face value as it is with males.#its always brought into question instead of taken in consideration with the rest of the woman's life and experiences and her particularities#Hence... Butch is still being treated as though its a huge lesbian cultural phenomena instead of a specific niche thing#also i dont mean to invite the “you dont pass!!” anons again bc that idiot is missing my point entirely (which is that im truly not trying)#but the fact is that for the past 3 years i have found myself increasingly navigating the male social world#and discovering what it means to me as a female to have access to the ability to take my “masculinity” for granted... relax#forget about it#etc#i think thats entirely antithetical to the Butch thing which seems to rest on the tension of other peoples expectations of her#people broadly are more surprised to find out that im interested in women just as much as they're surprised that im a gym queen iykwim...#ive worked hard for this and now that ive gotten the Woman Social Role thing pretty much entirely out of the way i am living the dream#i think a large part of that is learning as a dyke to appropriate the language of gay men theres a reason their terminology had#staying power even when their scene was *literally* dying meanwhile all that seemed to survive from dyke spaces was butch n femme ??#its because theirs didnt necessitate the building and maintenance of a scene in order for the subculture to hold its head above water#their labels *largely* weren't predicated on their relationships to gender roles and its telling that for dykes it was#their labels rested on the need to simply show up anonymous n be able to easily flag whether they were looking to fuck or be fucked#alongside the set of circumstances under which they would be fucking or getting fucked or what have you#it all comes back to the restrictions of female social blah blah blah and i think the sooner we collectively set down what we see as our#responsibility as lesbians and as feminists to Be A Woman the sooner we can step outside of that#n start thinking clearly about our individual circumstances and the necessity of putting on your own oxygen mask first before helping others
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Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.
Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen
A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death
#hellsing#alucard#kouta hirano#translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent#fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online#i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443'#but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands#the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake#anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool#if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first#and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf#i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia#then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point#but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page#and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. ....#i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh#the hellsing brainrot runs deep#also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491#except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo#the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002#which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out??#i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch#sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less#it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was#maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'
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i'm approaching my 70th star wars fic on ao3 (incredible amazing mind boggling ive been doing this for forever and also only three years) and i thought that it would be really fun to do something i haven't done yet: a fic giveaway!!
i've created this google form to collect prompts/scenarios that you would like to see me write and am asking for no more than 2 from one person (though i do remember the rampant cheating of google form responses for the christmas fic debacle of 2022 🤨)
they can be as vague as "stewjoni obi-wan, any rating, no DNWs" or as specific as "stewjon is a living and breathing haunted house!planet and when obi-wan and anakin crash land on it, it has no intention of letting one of its own go again. not when its child has been so kind as to return to its lands. rating: M preferred, DNW: cannibalism, married anidala, any fucking mention of the fucking ocean i'm fucking serious kit"
the form will close august 30 and i'll randomly select a prompt to complete on the 31st!! the fic is going to be a one shot, from 5k-15k words and i'm aiming to have it be published in time to be my 70th star wars fic (so, published before my big bang fic, probably around end of november)
let me know if you have any questions!! this is NOT a commission or anything - no money will be made from this and it is not expected at all. just something fun i really wanna try if you guys want to try it too!
#obikin#kit's fics#i wrote on the form that i will be sad if people submit a response that's just like#'the next chapter of insert wip'#chappell roan voice: you're no fuUuUUUNNNNN#i will accept a form response that is requesting an ao3 fic of one of my tumblr aus#especially if you specify whatever scene you want to see from the au#but tbh im in a phase of battling my brain where im tired of all my ideas#i'll also pin this post to the top of my blog for a while#so its easy to find
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Headcanon: Chilchuck and his Bad Takes on Literature
i think chilchuck would be like my mom in the sense that he wouldnt like sad stories. dont get me wrong, cautionary tales? absolutely fine. they serve a purpose to him which is to tell people "dont be an idiot and do this or else something bad will happen"
generally sad or angsty stories though? no point to him, and in his perspective its really confusing how people just read things that make them sad. like whats the use of reading something if its just gonna make you sad. whats the lesson? its not even real so it doesnt help anyone.
whats the point in making yourself cry when you could just avoid that entirely by not reading it at all?
but the one of the biggest reasons why sad stories exist is to let you release all the built up grief in you. to send you something to let out all your emotions in a healthy way. catharsis. empathy.
even when i dont relate to the tragic experiences in some stories, several ones ive read have lead me to realize that im in a bad situation or that im following in the footsteps of the character suffering. its like a wake up call.
and making yourself cry isnt inherently a bad thing. if crying allows you to let go of building pressure and tension in you then thats good!
but chil wouldnt see that. of course he wouldnt, hes avoidant of most situations that would allow him to release emotion, and fearful of letting his mature (read: repressed) persona slip.
hes someone that runs away to quick comforts and distractions at the earliest sign of issue. hes already been in too many horrifying situations, dealing with another is a pain. and he knows denying everything and refusing to look at the situation doesnt help, but it definitely provides a quick and easy happiness in the comfort of ignorance.
because of this, reading something made to make one empathize with and confront these bad emotions is defeating the point of his cowering. if he faces his issues, even if only through the perspective of a story, he'd have to deal with acknowledging that things are bad and need fixing, and he'd feel terrible and guilty in the moment - which of course is the worst thing that could happen to a person (his thought, not mine).
which is why i find the concept of him being/becoming a tragedy himself at the same time as this headcanon soooo interesting. imagine the irony of him bashing on the protagonists of tragic stories for acting on emotion and impulse rather than logic, when he himself has fallen victim to irrational thinking while in grief.
cause... thats what people do when they grieve. they lash out, make bad decisions, ruin themselves, ruin others.
for a tragedy to be prevented, the protagonists would have to change fundamental parts of themselves, and act perfectly rational when under extreme stress. and chilchuck holds himself to these kinds of unrealistic standards because he unwittingly believes he can handle it all.
he cant, obviously. we see it for ourselves in his relationship with his wife. they were doomed from the beginning by chils already-established avoidance and lack of emotional vulnerabiltiy (and whatever else his wife had going on).
this is all just to say that if you told him about orpheus and eurydice, he'd probably be one of those idiots trying to point out the "plot hole" that he couldve "just not looked back" and "just trusted her"
i dont understand. whats the point in reading tragedies? the protagonist is stupid, anyways. why would you take bitter medicine? why subject yourself to that?
i think its just a bad story.
#EDIT : SORRY THAT THERES NO PICTURES BY THE WAY I COULDNT BE BOTHERED TO LOOK FOR APPROPRIATE ONES IM SORRY!!!#hi. i wrote meta on accident#THIS WAS MEANT TO BE PART OF A JOKE BUT THEN I JUST KEPT GOING AND GOING AND I FORGOT TO MAKE THE JOKE PART OF IT SO NOW ITS 100% SERIOUS#to be fair i was always serious but i intended for it to be presented as a joke#this took me like 3 hours to write god help me#i did this instead of doing my homework. im toast#anyways. hi yes. chilchuck is a hypocrite#feel free to discuss about this cause i find it really interesting. theres layers to this mans hypocrisy HHSDHASHDDH#my fascination with chils avoidance like ive talked about above is the main motivation for tragedy au actually#imagine a world where he gets what he wants. he can change the narrative change himself and prevent anything that could possibly go wrong#and dream up a fantasy world where he can let go of all responsibility and his avoidant behavior has no consequences#id talk more about it but also im really sleepy and should be working so ill leave you with this for now#im... i gotta tag this man i worked too hard on it#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#yeagh. yeah!
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