#and its my own fault but i dont know wtf to do about it

[oddinry]

i wish i didnt have the worlds worst social anxiety

[norrizzandpia]

This Is About Oscar?! (OP81)

Summary: Y/n’s new song exposes a side of Oscar no one knew about.

Warnings: the whole thing is basically just about sex, language

y/nnn Surprise! 34+35 out tonight 💗

Comments:

oscarpiastri i think its pretty good

- y/nnn you only think that for one reason and we both know it

Liked by oscarpiastri

oscpastry guys… 34+35= 69……..

- mclarensgirly i fear we are getting the WHOLE story

- pieasstree YOU FEAR??? I WANNA KNOW

- mclarensgirly I MEAN ME TOO BUT HOW WILL WE LOOK BABY OSCAR IN THE EYE AFTER???

landonorris im scared oscar hasnt stopped smiling all day

- oscarpiastri what can i say? Its not everyday your girlfriend writes a song about you

- y/nnn babe youve heard the song im not sure you want to go broadcasting it that its abt you

- oscarpiastri are you kidding????? Of course i do

—

y/nnn 34+35 out now (oscar wanted me to make it known the song is about him 🤦🏼‍♀️)

Comments:

oscpastry THIS SONG??????? IS ABOUT?????? OSCAR PIASTRI?????? THE RACING DRIVER??????? FOR MCLAREN???

- mclarensgirly YEAH WTF ARE WE MISSING SOMETHING

- pieasstree “you drink it just like water, you say it taste like candy” WHO IS THIS MAN

oscarpiastri this is the best day of my life

- pastry81 i dont know who you even are anymore

- f1butmore-mclaren how did mclaren even sign off on this

- y/nnn its my music i choose what i release all that mattered was if oscar was comfortable (he was comfortable to a degree that was concerning)

- oscarpiastri real

landonorris most recent google search: “how to erase your memory and ability to hear and see” i can never look either of you in the eye anymore

- y/nnn I TOLD YOU NOT TO LISTEN TO IT

- landonorris I DIDNT THINK YOU WERE GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY TEAMMATE THAT GRAPHICALLY

- y/nnn thats your own fault then

—

Twitter Thread

pieasstree youre gonna tell me 34 35 is abt this man.

- oscpastry “even though im wifey you can hit it like a side chick” is dick whipped the correct term for this???

- mclarensgirly plz never say dick whipped again but yeah i believe so

- pieasstree WE ARE MOVING AWAY FROM THE MAIN TOPIC OF CONVO. HOW IS THIS ABOUT HIM. IT JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSE.

- oscarsmyfav i dont know what i was expecting from that song but “i know all your favorite spots, we can take it from the top, youre such a dream come true, make a bitch wanna hit snooze” WAS NOT IT.

- hisrookieseason “i dont wanna keep you up, but show me can you keep it up cause then ill have to keep it up” I HEARD THAT AND IT ALL MADE SENSE

- oscpastry YEAH LIKE NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY HES SO MELLOW ALL THE TIME ITS BC HES TIRED

- oscarpiastri never too tired tho

- pieasstree WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

- oscpastry AM I IN A DREAM THIS IS NOT THE OSCAR I KNOW???????

- y/nnn its the oscar i know…

- mclarensgirly WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON HERE

- oscpastry im so scared rn but also SO intrigued

- pieasstree its the way theyre probably sitting next to each other and laughing at all of us distraught fans

- y/nnn hes very pleased with himself (👇🏻)

- pieasstree i rlly just dont understand how that man THAT BOY could cause an earthquake in bed as y/n said

- y/nnn trust me he could.

- oscarpiastri trust me i can and i have.

[damagedcoda6669]

this is stupid

lets talk about this dumb ask for a minute. (leaving them anonymous so they dont get SLAUGHTERED)

ive gotten a handful of comments on my youtube video accusing me of the exact same things, so im gonna use this as an opportunity to teach you HOW NOT TO ACT TOWARDS CREATORS ONLINE. first of all, my financial situation is NONE of your business. i will establish that i pay rent, i have an income, i help synni out financially, but i dont owe you ANY of that information. making an assumption about my private life and then using said assumption to demonize me is exactly the kind of behavior exhibited by the internet growing up which ruined my childhood. you are making an assumption about me and using it to victimize synni and demonize me, two people who you have NEVER MET and in reality you know next to NOTHING about. stop making me out to be the bad guy in every situation, it goes to show that you have learned nothing from my video and are continuing the cycle of birdie hate for no good reason.

second of all, this is fucking ableist. assuming im mooching off of my best friend and being lazy because i happen to be disabled and mentally ill? fuck off. there is no "you need to get your act together" youre not my fucking parent, and also??? i need to get my act together??? you mean stop being disabled??? wtf are you on about??? synni chooses to vent about her financial situation, but i choose to keep that part of my life private. me and synni are in the exact same boat. you know NOTHING about me. for all you know i could be working a 9 to 5 like everybody else, but you never considered that possibility because im disabled. i did say in my video "fuck work" but guess what? people who have jobs also dont like working. synni has expressed the same "fuck work" rhetoric but instead of treating her as manipulative and evil in this situation you make her out to be a victim. we all know why youre talking about me the way that you are.

third of all, its not my fault synni is working 24/7??? its not my fault we're poor??? did you ever consider the economic climate rn??? or think to blame capitalism for making us need to work all of our lives only leaving us with a few hours to ourselves, barely surviving and scraping by? but of course, you dont want a rational answer to why synni and i are suffering financially. the internet always wants somebody to throw under the bus, and it will always be me because you will always see me as a mentally ill dangerous freak. think for yourself, unpack your own ableism. its exhausting.

OKAY BACK 2 NORMAL JACK MODE srry 4 writing a whole bible abt this, i feel VRY strongly abt this. my disabilities have been effecting me so badly ive been considering getting a wheelchair. (dont forget im physically disabled as well!!!) its not FUN 2 not be able 2 do the same things every1 else can (and it certainly isnt fun 2 have 2 explain that 2 ppl who dont care enough 2 understand) but i will never stop advocating 4 myself, becuz i never had any1 2 do that 4 me when i was a kid

[chlobliviate]

Wolfstar Microfics - Crack Fic

Words: 986 😅

@wolfstarmicrofic

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Moony

(13:47) Sirius, I’m going to fucking murder you in your sleep. 😌

Padfoot

(13:48) you can try

(13:48) but

(13:48) i’ve been awake for hours

Prongs

(13:48) What did he do now?/

Moony

(13:48) He knows what he did.

(13:49) I said I shouldn’t go out last night.

Padfoot

(13:49) and yet out you went

Moony

(13:49) And yet, out I went. 😔

Prongs

(13:50) Pretty sure I just heard Moony sigh through the wall.

(13:50) So what did Pads do?

Padfoot

(13:55) O NO

(13:55) o nooooooooo 😬😬😬😬

Wormtail

(13:56) ???

Padfoot

(13:56) i may have given us all personalised ringtones on moonsss phone

Prongs

(13:57) 😂😂😂😂😂😂WHAT WS MNE?!??!!?

(13:57) Moony don’t bang on my wall to punish me for shoddy spelling when Sirius hasn’t used a capital letter since 2008.

(13:57) BUT WHAT WAS MINE

Padfoot

(13:58) do-re-mi from the sound of music

Prongs

(13:58) I am less excied about this now.

Padfoot

(13:59) naturally pete’s was rat-a-tat-tat by fall out boy and courtney love (absolute banger btw)

Prongs

(13:59) Nvm I’m back on board!

(13:59) What about yours?

Moony

(14:00) You Belong with Me.

Wormtail

(14:02) Ah. 🙃

Moony

(14:04) So Benjy suggested we ‘take a break’

Padfoot

(14:04) fuck im so sorry moons

(14:05) i can text him and tell him it was a joke

Moony

(14:06) Nah, it’s ok. I care a lot less than I thought I would tbh.

(14:10) James. Your headphones are unplugged.

Prongs

(14:10) SORRY SORRY FUCK ITS NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE

Padfoot

(14:10) wow moony’s having a crisis and you’re having a wank

(14:11) harsh

Moony

(14:12) I’m not having a crisis. I’m fine. That’s probably not a great comment on my relationship though?

(14:12) JAMES! HEADPHONES!

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Wormtail

(20:27) Lads, 😱😱 I think Benjy’s on a date

(20:28) Just showed up here with some guy

Padfoot

(20:28) moony sleeping 🤫 wtf we need details

Prongs

(20:29) Nvm, Sirius woke him when he yelled wtf

Moony

(20:40) Yeah, I bet that's David. He’s on Benjy’s course and he may have come up a few times.

(20:41) He didn’t even give it 8 hours. Wow. What a prick. I’m not surprised though, which probably also speaks volumes.

(20:41) Fuck. 😂

Padfoot

(20:41) you have four minutes to make yourself presentable moons then we’re coming in with tea and chocolate and a movie

(20:42) three minutes

Moony

(20:42) 👀👀👀 What’s happening next door?

Padfoot

(20:43) TWO MINUTES dont change the subject

(20:43) new neighbours

(20:43) all girls

(20:43) james is in love already 😂

Prongs

(20:43) I AN NOT

(20:44) BAD PADFOOT

Moony

(20:44) When did you meet them?

Padfoot

(20:44) one minute moony moon also we did not meet them but james spent a lot of time peeking out of his windoe this morning

(20:44) winDOE AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂

(20:44) let the record state that i was assaulted with a wooden spoon 😔

Moony

(20:44) 😏😏😏

🌙✨🌙✨🌙

Moony

(10:01) Just met the neighbours.

(10:01) They asked what James’ ‘deal’ is.

(10:01) You were not slick at all. 😂

(10:02) They invited us over for drinks tonight, though.

Prongs

(10:02) It’s not my fault they were so loud moving in that I had to see what the commotion was.

(10:02) There was Beyonce and shrieking. I was merely a CONCERNED citizen. 😌

Moony

(10:02) That’s your story and you’re sticking to it?

(10:03) Benjy and David are already Facebook official. Wow.

Prongs

(10:04) Moony. He is a massive twat. You have terrible taste in partners.

Moony

(10:05) That is not at all reassuring.

(10:06) I’m going to drink so much tonight. 🙃🙃🙃

Prongs

(10:07) oh yeeeeah? Anyone from next door ccatch your eye?

Padfoot

(10:07) moonys only got eyes for me thank you very much 😤😤

Moony

(10:08) Don’t get me wrong, they’re all pretty, but no.

(10:08) Plus, I CLEARLY only have eyes for Pads.

Prongs

(10:17) So… whats her nameeee? 🫠

Moony

(10:18) Who?

Prongs

(10:18) YOU KNOW WHO

Moony

(10:19) Drawing a real blank here.

Padfoot

(10:20) hes just giggling at his phone

Moony

(10:20) Traitor.

Padfoot

(10:20) MOONY EHY MuST YOU WOUND ME SO

Wormtail

(10:20) Did you two sleep together again?

Prongs

(10:21) I mean the red headed, fiery goddess who lives next door and laughs like a witch.

(10:22) Ooooooooooh? 👀👀

Moony

(10:22) Emphasis on the word SLEEP. Yes.

(10:23) No homo.

(10:23) I mean, partially homo, I guess. 😂

Padfoot

(10:23) FULL HOMO BIG HOMO ENERGY IN THIS ROOM ;)

(10:23) get over it wormy

Wormtail

(10:23) I didn;t mean it like that!!!! It’s fine if you want to do that!

(10:24) I only request that you do it in Remus’ room, bc Sirius is next to me and I don’t need to hear his cum noise.

Padfoot

(10:25) let the record state that moonbeam laughed so hard at ‘cum noise’ that he banged his head on the wall and dropped his phone down the side of his bed 💀💀💀

Prongs

(10:25) Is his hed made of lead? That was so loud fuck.

(10:26) That means your cum noise is gonna be loud too. Ew no. go fuk by Pete.

Moony

(10:27) We’re not fucking, wow.

(10:27) We’re all very aware that I’m not Sirius’ type.

Padfoot

(10:28) what is my type

(10:28) fite me

Prongs

(10:28) dumb, obscenely pretty, easy.

Moony

(10:29) One out of three. Damn. 🙃

(10:29) Also you misspelled *bite. 😌

Padfoot

(10:30) which one what moony what wait what 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

[akascow]

tua4 spoilers as i rant about it like everyone else bc wtf was that

its like the writers got knocked in the head and forgor everything that had to do with the comics and former seasons and instead of trying to relearn it all they just looked at a picture of the characters and a vague description of their powers and wrote a script around it held together by a used bandage and a dried out elmers glue stick

dude i havent even finished watching it yet but no fucking way they all die at the end (if i read that correctly)

ur telling me after fighting to save the world on 3 separate occasions they dont even get a happy ending ?? what

not even mentioning the whole victim blaming line of "your trauma is your own fault because you shouldve never existed in the first place" aYO?????? wHAT ?!? that makes me so mad like highkey what

i havent gotten to it yet but i know theres a whole thing with lila and five now too which fucking sucks because ew? huh

they literally ruined everyones relationship because why did ray walk out on allison and claire?? the fuck ? ray from s2 would punch side mention s4 ray in the dick

jennifer was a stupid plot point okay why the fuck was she in a squid howd she get there whered it come from and why does she have such a visceral reaction to it years later

as an AVID no1 klaus lover they really nerfed the best character in the show he literally only got shot so allison could get peer pressured into resuscitating a dnr patient basically bc they couldnt find another way to write in how he got his powers back,, and they completely threw away the part from last season that he can choose to stay in purgatory(?) if he wanted to so thats that i guess :/

also lila w laser eyes? lmao girl where did that come from (NOT how her powers work)

and last thing everyones already saying this i was so happy luther finally got his normal human body back (i cannot stand looking at that ape body ive hated it since s1 lmao) and he gets his SUPER STRENGTH back and suddenly hes hairy again ?? WHYYYY??? THATS NOT HOW HIS POWERS WORK

i will admit tho that one scene with diego flipping into gunfire and redirecting the bullets back at them was sick as fuck i smiled hard at that

anyway i wasnt expecting viktor to be my fave character this season but elliot page was like so good this season (also his voice is so yummy) i mean he was great in every other season but he stuck out to me the most this time lol. i like that he has more teasing and jokes and hes a lot more confident,, not that it matters now but whatever it was nice while it lasted

[httpiastri]

im the BIGGEST mclaren fan and oscar fan in the world ever and i dont even have the energy to celebrate oscar's first win (yes bc of the fucked up way mclaren did it but wtv not getting into that) bc of how devastated i am about paul. i just want to give him the biggest hug in the world and tell him its ok and that we all still love him. i hope he knows how much support he has and that making mistakes is ok, its only his rookie season no one expects him to be schumacher or senna or whoever, we just want you to be a happy paul aron :(

seeing him banging his head and looking out into the distance after the crash omfg i will jump off a cliff i swear. hes so hard on himself and i was legit sobbing thinking about how much harder he is on himself (probably) this year after what happened w merc and prema. he deserves so much more omg. the fact that kimi ended up winning the race just made me think of the lacy edits too and omfg i cannot. i love kimi dont get me wrong but what are the chances that paul's win became kimi's instead? i js cant.

and dont get me started on that fucking penalty. he already dnf'd i don't understand the point of them punishing him any further did u not see how mad he was at himself?? fuck you fia fuck. you. cz WHY WHAT WAS THE REASON??? i feel like ive never seen them do that to a driver, usually they cause a collision and dnf they just get time penalties but a TEN PLACE GRID PENALTY?? FOR THE NEXT RACE?? THIS LATE IN THE SEASON?? it just seems SO unfair and so harsh. not agreeing w the grid penalties at all esp when the driver alr suffered from their mistakes but the crash w maloney fine i can kind of understand, but ollie's? sorry but i didnt even see them crash that hard? (or was i half asleep? idk i js literally do not remember seeing it) seriously tho wtf.

i hope his friends, family and team gave him the biggest hug ever. he'll come back stronger ik it! we'll get thru this u guys:(

paul nation family group hug 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

-🧸

this is very valid :(( it wouldve been easier to celebrate if it had been better with the team and whatever, but now it was so easily overshadowed by everything that happened in f2 and i just 😶

to me, most of my pain is based on (just like u said) the fact that i think he's hard on himself, and wants to prove so much after everything that has happened. i just hope he sees the reality; that he's doing super well, in his rookie season nonetheless, and we're all so proud of him. mistakes is okay, shit happens, even max verstappen made a bunch of mistakes yesterday!!

i didnt wanna look at the clips of him in the car nor hear his radio (ive seen the screenshot of him admitting that it was his fault tho) and i saw the clip of him after getting out of the car and i just...... nope. and esp w kimi winning aaaa it made me so happy but-

god i dont understand the penalties like. yes he made a mistake but zane was also going very very slow (on the slower tyres also) so it was hard for him to tell what zane was going to do. like these things happen within even a fraction of a second and you need to trust your instinct and sometimes it doesn't work out? like obvs i cant compare it to any personal experiences in racing but in my own sport i know the feeling of getting a bad pass etc, and something tiny can mess up the entire timing and feeling and everything? so zane just going slower makes a lot of difference :// it's not common that they do this but ive seen it sometimes but this is just so.... gAH!! esp with the thing with ollie because they didn't even show it, so it can't have been THAT important, right?? so stupid

pls everyone gather around for a group hug! with paul in the middle bcs he deserves all of the love!!!!!!! <3<3<3

(oh and just so you know. "we just want you to be a happy paul aron :("........... you actually broke me with that one, i hope you're happy that im crying bcs of you 😭)

[phantaloon]

okay fuck

ngl it was... i dont want to say disappointing, bc it wasn't, but it was surprising i think

like i get some things have to be rushed, hopefully s2 will have a bigger budget and they'll have more time or more episodes, but one thing im not digging a lot is the cuts in this episode is particular, like when percy tells annabeth what he talked with hermes, but they dont show that conversation, its a bit weird, but not too off throwing

also! not sure how to feel about the introduction of may castellan so early on, but not much was said enough for it to truly matter or change anything, so im just not gonna mind

also didn’t think hermes's presence was necessary in the first place, and i didn’t think lin's acting was as interesting as ares or dionysus or haephestus

but having said that, i actually really liked the vibes of this episode, especially since the show has been more character and plot driven rather than action driven

it was slow, yes, but it was fitting, and i think it was a nice break from the rush of the last two episodes, and i loved seeing percy and annabeth work together like that, and i LOVE how much they're showing grover's dedication to finding pan

also the wise girl, and percy driving the taxi were fucking highlights

and like, two things really caught my eye and have me insanely excited for an explanation

one is the flashback hermes shows percy, like wtf is going on there, i see young percy in the car on his own in front of a house, and given the conversation all i can think is it has smth to do with sally, possibly with gabe, possibly hinting at the abuse she went through, possibly hinting at how much it cost her to do everything to keep percy safe, of what it was for her to love poseidon and know he loves her and know they can't be together, and i really hope we get an explanation

the second is the FOUR PEARLS, like we KNOW sally doesn't leave the underworld, not only bc that's in the books, but bc shes not there in the preview for next episode, and fuck am i antsy to see just how they're going to lose the fourth pearl, will it be luke's fault when grover gets almost dragged to kronos? will it be on their way to hades? what makes him lose the pearl?

and ohhhh, it was one thing to leave sally bc he didn't have a way to bring her with them, it's completely another thing to have to leave her behind bc he lost the way to get her, and i can't wait to see his ANGER, god fuck i want to see a completely feral percy fight ares

so yeah, not my favorite episode, especially back to back to how fucking amazing last episode was, but im really excited for the things to come and how its changed some things that leave us, the book readers, in the dark as well

really looking forward to next week :)

edit lmao i forgot the ONE change that really upset me: what the fuck do you mean they missed the deadline? like now what lmao? richard whY?

[ellecdc]

every single remus version you have written so far is about to catch these hands cause wtf.

I MEAN COME ON JUST FUCKING BE HAPPY ITS NOT THAT HARD??

anyways loved the new chap and i love rem being a stupid fucken doofus AND SIRIUS PUTTING HIM IN HIS PLACE YES BABY

also i feel as though amelia is gonna be a big fucking problem for my whim baby. i swear if she hurts her im going to riot. pitch forks and torches.

i want more sirius putting people in their places (shit is hot 🤭🤭) hoping it’s amelia next🫣

(i do feel a little bad though, it’s either she’s going to be a problem or she’s going to be extremely hurt AND I DONT LIKE SEEING GIRLS HURT NO NO)

anyways i think the reason why your stories work so well is because you mesh ALL the characters into the story, it’s never just r and said character ITS A WHOLE PRODUCTION AND A HALF👏👏

ohhh i can’t wait for the angst between james, sirius, and rem and then heart wrenching angst between rem and my whimsical baby😮‍💨😮‍💨

(also a little note i saw u post abt the drink snob: if you are willing to finish the story (which is fully up to you, no one can force you to do anything) i think you can start it off with r finally starting work in the restaurant! i think the interview process with rem’s parents would be so cute, while she learns stuff abt him cuz his mom is adorable and won’t stop talking abt her kids (all of them) maybe she gets a little peak -fully accidental- abt what it is rem and the little gang is actually doing. just a few ideas for you lovely, it’s all up to you and what you feel comfortable in doing! 🫶💗)

YES YES YES THERE YOU ARE - everytime I post a new chapter/piece I literally sit at the computer like:

….waiting to see what frostooo has to say 💃🏻

I know rem is such a dumb dumb it was getting hard to write cuz he was pissing me off so much (even tho it’s my own damn fault??)

I was like, okay, someone’s gotta humble this man, and who better than my fellow November Scorpio??????

I think someone needs to look at Amelia and be like “………babes…..why u letting this mans treat you like this????………….be better” like which friends of hers are letting her hopelessly pine over this dumpster fire of a man rn???? Bad friends, she needs new friends.

Also, I’m the kind of person who like, the thing I’m most proud of/what I brag about to people is my relationships. Like my relationship with my friends I’ve known since I was 4, being an aunt & godmama like these things are the coolest thing about me so I wouldn’t be who I am without my friends AND THATS HOW OUR BABIES ARE?!?!? Sirius is who he is cuz of his friends, and James, and Remus etc etc - they are integral to the story because they’re integral to the characters!!!

I’m going to mood board about drink snob - usually I have an idea of how I want a story to end before I write it (I knew the ending of CBBH and of AMWAP before I knew what happened in the middle), so it feels weird to write without a plan. (Omg, a plan, I sound like Remus)

Okay bye love you drink lots of water today 🫶

[pesterloglog]

Gamzee Makara, John Egbert, Roxy Lalonde, Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Jake English, Jade Harley

Candy, page 15

GAMZEE: OoOpS mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

JOHN: oops???

ROXY: its fine gamz

ROXY: accidents happen

ROXY: um

ROXY: hey thx everyone for joining me today

ROXY: wow now that im up here its like

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i have no idea what to say

ROXY: and i guess thats cuz there IS nothing to say

ROXY: theres no words to describe how i felt about dirk strider

ROXY: and even tho he left a note that had hella words in it

ROXY: they might as well have been sayin nothing

ROXY: which is just like dirk i guess

ROXY: to leave us with a load of bullshit and no idea why he did what he did

ROXY: so im just gonna say that

ROXY: im glad that he was in my life

ROXY: and give it over to someone whos way more eloquent than me

DAVE: hey guys

DAVE: wanna apologize in advance cuz this is about to get a lil real

DAVE: realer than that three quarters of a corpse im standing about two feet from right now

DAVE: i mean i totally hate to ruin everyones mood on a day where weve gathered to think deep thoughts about how one of us just went and fucking offed themselves

DAVE: not like were gonna be stumbling through our lives constantly experiencing intrusive thoughts about this specific event or anything

DAVE: hey remember what our good pal dirk looked like with no head

DAVE: p hard to forget since getting decapitated was like his third favorite hobby

DAVE: so its not so much the body thats the problem but the sorta

DAVE: existential realization of finality i guess

DAVE: though i aint gonna lie the bodys starting to stink

DAVE: sorry all that shit i just said was a load of absolute bull meant to deflect from the fact that im pretty shook about this

DAVE: i used to do that a lot

DAVE: like basically every time i opened my mouth

DAVE: most of you know this but i had a kinda shitty childhood

DAVE: not gonna go into details but

DAVE: long story short it was technically my good ol bro-dad heres fault

DAVE: not this specific version of him

DAVE: the one i grew up with was a

DAVE: a

DAVE: he was

DAVE: he was just an absolute bastard no offense to the dead

DAVE: yeah ok sure he taught me a ton of shit that if were being generous was in theory useful

DAVE: but he didnt give a single solitary shit about raising a well adjusted kid

DAVE: or

DAVE: raising a kid in general

DAVE: i was more like his disciple

DAVE: and all that mattered was his grand design or wtf ever

DAVE: and i know dirk struggled with

DAVE: you know

DAVE: the idea that he could eventually become that kind of person

DAVE: or even worse that he was somehow cosmically fated to become that person no matter what he wanted or did to prevent it

DAVE: thats prolly how he managed to off himself in the first place considering how the mechanics of god tier works

DAVE: maybe hed been struggling with that the whole time weve been here on earth c

DAVE: who knows with him

DAVE: he was always so inside his own head i cant even imagine what insane train of thought led him to decide that this was his only option

DAVE: but i dont think hed want us beating ourselves up about it

DAVE: or torturing ourselves trying to figure out what it fucking meant

DAVE: esp jake jane and roxy

DAVE: he loved you guys and wouldnt do anything to hurt you

DAVE: well not intentionally i mean

DAVE: anyway all that shit about my bro

DAVE: im over that

DAVE: like as much as you can get over it

DAVE: theres a subconscious response to certain stimuli you cant exactly rewire

DAVE: but the conscious part of my brain is all like

DAVE: shit dude

DAVE: i feel great

DAVE: wtf is hypervigilance??

DAVE: i love being alive and having all these friends who care about me and dont beat the shit out of me every day of my life

DAVE: etc

DAVE: and part of thats cause i got to be friends with dirk

DAVE: it was great getting to know this rad version of my childhood guardian who wasnt completely batshit insane

DAVE: and like just chill with him

DAVE: shoot the shit and freestyle or debate dumb crap without it being a federal fucking issue

DAVE: and more than that he treated me like i was on the level with him

DAVE: he let me give him shit for being a pretentious blowhard every day of his life

DAVE: which i did

DAVE: but despite that i

DAVE: i looked up to him

DAVE: the way i always felt like i should have been looking up to my bro

DAVE: the way i WANTED to look up to my bro but couldnt

DAVE: dirk taught me so much shit i didnt know i needed from him

DAVE: i mean picking up dirks opinions was unavoidable if you ever hung out with him considering he never shut his fucking mouth

DAVE: but im glad he didnt

DAVE: he taught me about combat

DAVE: philosophy

DAVE: life

DAVE: and im sure had he not killed himself the literal day i was finally gonna ask him romantic advice

DAVE: he wouldve taught me about love too

DAVE: so in the end

DAVE: i really got no idea how the fuck im supposed to feel right now

DAVE: but thats probably ok right

DAVE: like its ok

DAVE: to not know how to feel when someone dies

DAVE: its ok to not have all the answers

DAVE: i wish dirk were still alive so i could tell him that

DAVE: but hes not

DAVE: so

DAVE: i guess thats all i got to say about that

ROXY: anyone else have a eulogy theyd like to give

ROXY: i think the best way we can honor dirks memory at this point

ROXY: is to spew an untold number of words into the void

ROXY: as many as we fuckin can

GAMZEE: WhAt’S uP oN tHiS mOsT rIgHtEoUs AnD fRoWnY Of DaYs My BiTcHeS. :’o(

KARKAT: OH MY GOD

KARKAT: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY, GAMZEE.

GAMZEE: HaHaHaHa YoU sTiLl GoT iT bRoThEr.

GAMZEE: mY mOtHeRfUcKeR oF cOmEdY’s In ThA pRaYbLoCk! ThAt MiRtHfUl NoIsE yOu HoLlEr StIlL sLaPs My MaNg.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT A FUCKING JOKE.

GAMZEE: NiNjAs AnD gEnTlEhOeS!

GAMZEE: We GaThEr Up At ThIs ShRiNe Of WoRsHiP tO wHaTeVeR fAlSe IdOlS oR mEsSiAhS tHeSe HoMiEs GeT tHeIr DeVoTiOn On FoR.

GAMZEE: BuT tHaT’s Ok, BeCaUsE wE’rE mOtHeRfUcKiN uNiFiEd ToDaY, nO mAtTeR wHaT oUr BaD aNd DiFfErEnT bElIeFs SaY aT uS tO oUr PiEtY pAnS.

GAMZEE: We CoMe In CeLeBrAtIoN oF tHe LiFe! :o)

GAMZEE: aNd DeAtH. :o(

GAMZEE: Of ThE oNe AnD oNlY, a TrUlY cHoIcE pIeCe Of MaN-bItCh WhAt WhOm I hArDlY eVeR kNeW:

GAMZEE: tHe DiRkStEr.

KARKAT: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

GAMZEE: ThEn, YoU mIgHt Be Up AnD wOnDeRiNg, WhAt PlAcE hAvE i GoT aLl OrAtInG oN tHe SuBjEcT oF tHe LeGeNd Of ThIs FiNe FeLlOw?

GAMZEE: tHaT’s A gOoD qUeStIoN mY mIrThFuL bRoThErS.

GAMZEE: i MaY nOt Be AlL uP aNd LeArNeD aBoUt HiS lIfE, bUt I’vE gOt DeEp SpIrItAl CoNnEcTiOnS tO hIs DeAtH.

GAMZEE: It JuSt So HaPpEnEd ThAt FaTe BrOuGhT mE tO hIs DoOrStEp On ThE vErY dAy ThAt He WeNt AnD mOtHeRfUcKiNg ChOkEd It OfF aT tHe NeCk.

GAMZEE: oNe Of ThE mOsT sPiRiTuAlLy AwAkEnInG mOmEnTs In My LiFe...

GAMZEE: In SuCh A sHoRt TiMe He TaUgHt Me So MuCh.

GAMZEE: ThIs WaS nO cOiNcIdEnCe. It WaS a HiGhEr PoWeR gUiDiNg My PaTh.

GAMZEE: tHeSe PoWeRs MaDe SuRe ThAt I wOuLd Be ThErE, tO rEcEiVe A gReAt WaRrIoR’s FiNaL mEsSaGe, AnD rElAy It To YoU oN tHiS dArK aNd DrEaRy DaY oF dEaTh.

GAMZEE: HoNk!

GAMZEE: AwWw, ShIzZ. i GuEsS i’Ve GoT tO uP aNd WiNg It!

GAMZEE: YoU eVeR wAkE uP aNd SiT dOwN tO dRoP a FaT oNe In ThE lOaD gApEr, BuT yOuR fLeSh BoDy JuSt AiN’t ReAdY tO gO aNd DoOk It OuT yEt?

GAMZEE: tHaT’s WhAt LiFe WaS lIkE fOr ThE d-MaN.

GAMZEE: A mAn BoRn WiTh A pUrPoSe. A pLaN.

GAMZEE: bUt ThE wIcKeD wAyS oF tHiS wOrLd StOlE tHaT aWaY fRoM hIm...

ROXY: WOW WASNT THAT GREAT FOLKS!

ROXY: WOW JUST WOW I KNEW THIS GUY WOULDNT LET US DOWN

ROXY: BRAVO!!! DAMN I FEEL LIKE IF I NEVER HEARD ANOTHER WORD THIS GUY EVER SAID THATD BE FINE BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL JUST SO *PERFECT*

ROXY: ANYTHING MORE WOULD ONLY DAMPEN THIS PERFECT MEMORY HE GAVE US!

ROXY: TAKE A BOW GAMZEE AND THEN OH YEAH THE EXITS THAT WAY!

GAMZEE: hOoOoOoOoOnK.

ROXY: (hey dude can u get up there and say somethin as like...)

ROXY: (a palate cleanser?)

JAKE: Gulp! Uh...

ROXY: (he was your best bro! come on man surely u got somethin in ur heart to say)

JAKE: Oh... Okay.

ROXY: hay everybody its jakes turn!

ROXY: hes got a few words hed like to say about our dear departed buddy

JOHN: (oh for fuck’s sake.)

JOHN: uhh, hi guys!

DAVE: hey

KARKAT: I SEE THAT EVEN YOU COULDN’T BEAR GAMZEE’S ASININE, BRUTAL AND 100% NONCONSENSUAL ASSAULT ON YOUR LISTEN CRATERS, AND ALSO THE BASIC DECENCY WHICH SAPIENT BEINGS APPARENTLY OWE TO ONE ANOTHER ON THIS PLANET.

JOHN: no, um, actually i listened to the entire thing.

JOHN: i have no idea why i did that. now i have this whole memory in my head that i could have definitely lived without.

JOHN: i was just worried... because you didn’t come back.

JOHN: dave, are you ok?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: well no

DAVE: but its ok to not be ok about this specific thing i think

DAVE: so for once i think im having like

DAVE: a totally unironically normal emotional reaction to a thing

DAVE: which loops around back to being ok

DAVE: in fact im probs the okayest ive ever been objectively

JOHN: are you SURE?

KARKAT: THAT WAS HALF A HUNDRED WORDS TO EXPRESS A THREE LETTER SENTIMENT.

KARKAT: I’D SAY HE’S DOING FINE.

JOHN: hmm.

JOHN: because i was thinking...

JOHN: do you... want me to go back?

DAVE: go

DAVE: back??

JOHN: with my retcon powers.

JOHN: i could go back and stop him.

DAVE: dude

KARKAT: JOHN!

JOHN: what!

KARKAT: DO YOU NOT HAVE AN INCH OF GODDAMN SENSE IN THAT THICK FUCKING SKULL OF YOURS?

JOHN: what!!!

DAVE: john

DAVE: come on what are my powers

JOHN: ummm... time travel?

DAVE: so you dont think i wouldve already done that if i thought it was a good idea

JOHN: well ok yeah, obviously.

JOHN: but if you DID do it we wouldn’t even know right now because it would’ve just made a new timeline where dirk didn’t kill himself. that’s how time travel works, right?

DAVE: ehhh well actually

JOHN: but!

JOHN: if i retcon it...

JOHN: then it’s like it never even happened!

JOHN: we wouldn’t have had this horrible funeral at all.

DAVE: i dunno dude thats

DAVE: a little fucked up actually

JOHN: you think so?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: dirk was a complicated guy

DAVE: dude obviously had reasons for doing what he did

DAVE: if you go back and just rewrite his decision

DAVE: thats like denying him his personal autonomy

JOHN: huh. i... didn’t think about it that way.

JADE: dave!!! roxys wondering where you are

DAVE: oh yeah be right there

JADE: what about you karkat? you coming??

KARKAT: YES! GOD!

KARKAT: CAN’T A MAN STAND ON A MOIST AND DREARY PIECE OF RELIGIOUS PROPERTY TO HELP CONSOLE HIS MAIN BRO?!

KARKAT: JESUS FUCK, GOD FORBID WE UPSET THE CAREFULLY ORCHESTRATED FUNERAL PROGRAMMING WHICH JUST FEATURED A SEGMENT WHEREIN A DEEPLY UNPOPULAR CLOWN PISSED HIMSELF IN FRONT OF THE CLAMORING PAPARAZZI!

JADE: oh lord... you dumb baby

JADE: karkat it looks to ME like youre the one third wheeling dave and johns poignant brotimes

JADE: so why dont you get your butt on over here???

KARKAT: ARGH... FINE!

DAVE: john

DAVE: i get what you were trying to do

DAVE: but

DAVE: its ok dude

DAVE: im ok

JOHN: that’s weird...

JOHN: it was working just the other day.

ROXY: lmao john its just me

ROXY: doin ok up there b?

JOHN: i’m fine!!!

JOHN: wait. b?

ROXY: yea like short for babe

ROXY: cuz ur my babe b

JOHN: oh, haha. right.

ROXY: is dave ok?

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: ...

JOHN: are YOU okay?

ROXY: yea

ROXY: yea

ROXY: actually

ROXY: im more than ok

ROXY: cause ive been thinking

JOHN: oh?

ROXY: about you n me

ROXY: and this

ROXY: hey john

ROXY: we should get hitched

JOHN: ummmmmm...

JOHN: um...

JOHN: ...what???

ROXY: um what WHAT?

ROXY: john cmon

ROXY: marry me

JOHN: like...

JOHN: right NOW?

ROXY: lmao totes

ROXY: were already at the church n everything

JOHN: o-oh my god.

JOHN: oh my god!

ROXY: john

JOHN: oh my god, are you serious??

ROXY: no LOL

ROXY: john u take everything so literally

ROXY: its fuckin adorbs

JOHN: is that... why you want to marry me?

ROXY: yea

ROXY: im off the charts with all my jokes n shit

ROXY: and i gotta even all that out

ROXY: with this like HUGE helping of clueless nerd :)

JOHN: roxy...

ROXY: ok but lets be serious here moment

ROXY: i actually do love that youre so earnest

ROXY: its cute as fuck and also

ROXY: i always know where i stand with you

JOHN: roxy...

ROXY: sides this whole

ROXY: THING with dirk

ROXY: its made me realize that even though were immortal

ROXY: were not necessarily gonna live forever

ROXY: lifes too short not to spend every moment with the one u love

JOHN: you...

JOHN: LOVE me??

ROXY: yea john i love you

ROXY: wanna marry u and spend the rest of my life with u and pop out a bunch of cute lil buck toothed babies with you

JOHN: oh, uh. haha, wow. roxy that’s um.

JOHN: that’s a LOT.

ROXY: well you dont gotta answer rn

ROXY: just know its on the table

JOHN: i...

JOHN: i...

JOHN: ok.

JOHN: ok, let’s... let’s do it!

ROXY: ooo u want to do it??

JOHN: yeah!

JOHN: er... i mean...

JOHN: um, yeah. that too.

JOHN: but i meant...

JOHN: about the getting married thing.

JOHN: let’s... do that!

JOHN: let’s totally get married!!

ROXY: omg

ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!

[eternalera]

some things that annoy me in writing

when a character endlessly trauma dumps on someone especially their lover.

i mostly dont like this trope because one, why and two GET A THERAPIST. THAT SHIT IS THEIR JOB. not to say that their partner cant comfort them but sometimes it does come to a point where that character is ENDLESSLY relying on their significant other for 'validation' or for 'therapy' and then they get mad at themselves or at their partner if they cant provide it. this drops a lot on the other significant other because now theyre worried about their own problems, their partners, and whatever else the hell is going on with their life. and when i say theyre worried about their partners i mean theyre worried worried like its constantly plagues them and the partner AINT HELPING. like they miss a date and all of the sudden it 'where were you?' 'i needed you!' 'you know whats going on with me right now how could you!' like no. stop it. they can love you but they aint your goddamn therapist. get someone else.

2. the whole 'i dont deserve you argument'

yes its fluffy, angsty and practically perfect in nearly every damn way but god. its hardly ever done right. like everything feels forced, the reasons feel forced and i can never actually hear someone saying that. i can hear someone going 'you shouldnt be here' as in 'i dont deserve you' or in some other way. if the whole 'i dont deserve you' argument is underlying then its fine but when its upright in an 'emotional scene' the whole 'i dont deserve you' just makes me go 'ugh' mostly because it just feels so goddamn unrealistic. not to mention it takes all that emotional tension and instead of adding to it, it just fucking plummets it in my opinion. it feels anticlimactic like it was gonna be the climax but it failed. kinda like you save what you think is gonna be the best firework for last but turns out its a dud so now youre sitting their like 'well wtf was that'

3. when characters are actively being pressured by the cast to move on

like shut up, it takes the average person 4 years to grieve and then some. just because it was a really long time ago doesnt mean that it didnt hurt. chances are that it hurt A LOT. not to mention its usually like 'we/you cant do anything about it, move on from it' this is usually over traumatic experiences and im sorry but this just isnt healthy. not saying that you have to be stuck in that moment forever but you cant just go 'welp i couldnt do anything, sucks to suck buh-byeeee' like no, thats not how it works. you need to come to terms with what happened and what you did. not endlessly blame yourself or just say that it wasnt your fault even partially. thats not coming to terms with things thats denying the truth. never do this

4. when sad backstories supposedly make up for everything

suck it up. yeah no suck it up. you can have trauma from those experiences but it doesnt make up for what you did in the SLIGHTEST. its basically saying 'sir i only killed that man because my parents never loved me :((((' like honey there is no correlation. stop

5. unnecessary descriptions to describe a character. like when theyre lovesick, sure. thats FINE. but when youre just meeting them like slow your roll. im trying to process so many things at once already, i got the dialog their personality, what was currently going on in the scene. not to mention sometimes i dont like overly descriptive dialog because it takes away the room for imagination which kinda sucks because if i saw them wearing a skirt but now youre saying theyre wearing jeans it kinda fucks with my mind more

these are all just my opinion :)

[hinacu-arts]

Actually typing on my computer for once so I'm able to use the read more lol. I need you guys to tell me if you want this in

BBC - The Fic

which would either be as its own chapter or Casey reading it. Theres also the option of it becoming a short little companion story/fic, and im also considering writing a final battle deal but I'm not sure I want both in BBC. Here's the first part of it, I cant really write more until the actual fic is written unless I got more technical on the How Do We Solve This Problem line of convo.

Reminder that this is a group chat on all of 2012's phones, that's why their names are there. Debating on whether or not to change that. The first section is copy and pasted from the section that was in Chp 2. I tried to space it out like actual texting, but tumblr was fighting me so thats why there are random "."s in there

Key Donnie = in 1987 (the first TV show) Mikey = in 1990 (the first live action movies from 90,91, and 93) April = in 2003 (the second TV show) Leo = in 2007 (the CGI animated movie) Raph = in 2014 (the second live action movies from 2014 and 2016) Casey = in 2018 (rottmnt)

LEO: anyone copy?

.

APRIL: copy

.

RAPH: hallelujah. Get me out of this hell

.

LEO: not yet. Donnie says he needs a response by everyone before he can track your locations

LEO: hi other versions of us -Mikey

.

DONNIE: the tech i have to work with here is ancient i hate it. No computer needs to be this chunky

.

MIKEY: mikey is asleep but his phone is receiving -Donnie

.

CASEY: fucking finally. Do you know how many frequencies i had to try to get these messages to come in. not to mention how i had to pry the phone out of Leo's hands so i could take it apart

CASEY: anyways happy to report we haven't gotten him killed yet

CASEY: for the record he came to us bruised that was not our fault

APRIL: great. We can start narrowing down locations now -Don

CASEY: spoke too soon Casey found out about your Casey and she's demanding a fight to the death. Casey might be coming home in pieces

RAPH: wtf

CASEY: do you want him in a box or can i send him in a crate?

RAPH: wtf -Donnie

CASEY: youre right, if he's bleeding the blood will ooze out

.

MIKEY: wtf -everyone here

LEO: wtf -Donnie

DONNIE: i dont know to respond to this -both Donnies

RAPH: damn. put him in a cooler, those are water tight -April

RAPH: please do not listen to her and please dont let any maiming occur -Donnie

----------------------------------------------------------------------

RAPH: by any chance has anyone done the calculations for their own universe? I did ours a couple years ago and its Universe 2-0-1-4 -Donnie

DONNIE: Donnie says this universe is 1-9-8-7. Our home universe is 2-0-1-2

ARPIL: Don says this one is 2003

LEO: Donnie says this is Earth 2,007

RAPH: great. We just cut down a lot of time trying to figure that out. Now we just need to track and calculate your Mikey and Casey’s locations

APRIL: their Dons have probably already done the work themselves. @Mikey @Casey -Don

.

DONNIE: they aren’t answering. Either they can’t get to the computer or they’re sleeping. Lets just begin the math ourselves. Me and Donnie will get started on Mikey. Who wants to track Casey?

LEO: I’ve been collecting data the whole time, I’ll take Casey. The universe he landed in sounds hardcore, if that Donnie wasn’t exaggerating. Casey’s hardcore but we should get him out of there as soon as possible -Donnie

LEO: I think he’s somewhere between 2010 and 2030. Mikey might be in the 1990s -Donnie

RAPH: I don’t know about you guys, but interdimensional travel is not a norm here -Donnie

LEO: Same. Its happened before but I wasn’t prepared to collect data -Donnie

CASEY: @Leo close. We’re Universe 2-0-1-8. And inta-dimensional travel and inter-dimensional travel is a norm here, but not inter-universe travel

.

MIKEY: Donnie says this is universe 19 90

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

CASEY: lmao look at this touch starved fool [5 attachments: couchcuddling.png]

CASEY: I didn’t know humans could turn that red -Mike

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

CASEY: WHATS UP BITCHES NEON LEON IS HERE

CASEY: forgive my brother he is easily excitable -D

CASEY: SO I HEARD YOU NEED PORTAL HELP -L

CASEY: Leo I swear to pizza supreme I will take away your caps feature -D

CASEY: boo no fun. You know we could be in the same room and not have to confuse everyone with two people talking from the same server -L

CASEY: I knew giving you access would be a mistake -D

CASEY: Just send that update video you and Mikey put together for their Casey’s friends -D

CASEY: [attachment: weekoneupdate.mp4] thought you all might like proof of life since Donnie is a horrible texter. Don’t worry about that last part I took care of it. -L

APRIL: the video quality is all corrupted and the only sound I hear is the words “it’s a hard knock life for us” on repeat -Don

RAPH: why is Casey on fire?

CASEY: I told you I took care of it -L

CASEY: he was trying to show off -D

MIKEY: the file won’t download

CASEY: rip -L

CASEY: I will boot you -D

CASEY: but I want to say hi -Mike

CASEY: and Raph wants everyone to know that he’s trying his best to keep Casey alive but that Casey is giving him gray scales -Mike LEO: Can we agree to keep this chat for getting you all back home data and planning only? -Donnie

LEO: how on earth did you get Casey to agree to a spa day?

CASEY: we have girls night once every two weeks. He either had to join or vacate the premises -D

CASEY: he really enjoyed himself! -Mike

CASEY: anyways I agree lets keep this /emergency chat/ open for data and updates only. Hey Leo -D

CASEY: Yes? -L

CASEY: Adios bitch -D

-------- CASEY HAS BEEN BLOCKED FOR 24 HOURS --------

MIKEY: you can block people!?!?!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

CASEY: [attachment: lakeprank.mp4]

RAPH: Donnie’s mad that wasn’t a emergency “im dying” video because he nearly had a heart attack when the whole lair alerted us but the rest of us are laughing so hard. Your April has a great reporter voice. RIP Casey Jones, for his dignity died today. -April

RAPH: also Donnie thinks its fascinating you all look so different/are different turtles. -April

.

LEO: I want to be mad because that also gave me a heart attack but that was funny af. Even through all the grainy quality -Donnie

DONNIE: well both us Donnies are pissed because the video can’t display on these ancient computers and we thought someone died since this is a /emergency/ chat

DONNIE: Leo when did you have the time to teach him 2010s text slang?

LEO: he’s standing next to me rn and telling me what to say -Donnie

.

CASEY: You are all the same turtle species? man your Draxums must be boring. At least ours has some class. Some finesse. Appreciates the art of presentation. What did yours do? Go to the pet store and buy the first four turtles he saw for his experiments? -L

APRIL: we don’t have a Draxum and April says her universe doesn’t either -Don

MIKEY: Never heard of the guy -Donnie

LEO: No draxum and we were never apart of any experiments.

CASEY: so you guys WERENT created through genetic engineering for the sole purpose of being a bioweapon/supersoliders meant to lead armies to wipe out humanity? -L

MIKEY: We were mutated on accident

RAPH: wtf

APRIL: I don’t know how to respond to this, but no we were not -Don

.

LEO: I told you their world was hardcore -Donnie

CASEY: really? Case Man says its pretty chill compared to his. Like he doesn’t have Run Of The Mill but he does have evil aliens so -L

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw: cocsa, incest, SA

I don't remember much when I was much but I remember I did get groped by my brother around 10. Before that I used to get chronic uits as a child, I came across corn early on, I saw things around the house and on the computer and we both used to watch it. I've had dreams now as an adult that we engaged in certain stuff sexually but I don't seem to remember. I had a lot of inappropriate behaviour as a child and instead of asking I just got shamed for it and looked down upon, I even did things with my other brother which I ended up remembering and I feel so guilty. But with my older brother I felt way more attachment than normal, even jealousy which i found odd.

I had his laptop once and I was trying to find my file and ended up coming across his porn, it was full of step sis and sis content which shocked me after having those dreams, what I found even shocking was how similar the girls would look to me..

After that i remembered I ended up getting weirdly turned on and hyper, I felt like spiral for 3 days straight.

I also got sa at 11 by my neighbour. Theu didn't know, During this time I was acting inappropriate and my parents shamed me for it and said I'm disgusting, it was just me and a friend during school drawing and writing dicks n stuff. They banned me from watching my favourite shows because of it.

Another thing I had a dream of my dad, just once. I dont remember anything but when I was 14, I went to put food on table and he spanked my ass, so harshly. I do have a big ass and idk It felt really disgusting bc it wasn't gentle but it wasn't even a good touch in my head, just bad. Since then I feel awkward around him, he's commented a few times on me and my body. I know he has a thing for girls around my age bc he got obsessed once with this one in a show and yeah its wasn't nice but she's literally my age... I found he searched explicit scenes or pics of her once. Idk if he ever did anything with me bc I don't remember anything. But when he takes pics of me I do feel uncomfortable, because I know he's a perv and idk maybe he's thinking thoughts like that with me? I even tell him to delete and he never does.

I remember around 20 we had an argument over clothes, apparently i can't even wear simple things because of my body 🙃 and they mentioned well people will look and an uncle had commented on my body at 14. Saying how I'm pretty thick and how my body shows... I was covered btw because it was during a wedding. What my parents did instead of blame me, as I've always gotten blamed. To the point, I feel like I'm so disgusting and shameful. I hate how I get turned on when I shouldn't be, me getting hyper.

I just feel gaslight half of the time and what makes it worse is when it was during the school when me and a friend was writing about a male teacher as jokes, my mom switched up like 3 years ago saying I'm disgusting because I wrote that stuff about my own dad! Wtf! I can't believe she would even say that to me bc I'm very well aware of what is being wrote. I'm not even kidding when I say shes probably jealous of me at this point.

No one cared or bothered to know why I was acting like that at young, when I spoke sexual things n what not, what I came across, instead I get shamed, its my fault and I'm a horrible person. I hate how I always had to do something sexual in order to feel a release.

Hi anon.

I'm so sorry about what you went through.

It sounds like not only your brother but both your parents held attitudes that enabled sexual abuse, through victim-blaming, gaslighting, and excusing each other's behavior. It's possible that there may be a history of that, as they seem to normalize that kind of behavior.

It sounds like, as a result of your experiences, you may have developed what is known as hypersexuality, which for you has stirred up a lot of feelings of shame and disgust. Please know that it's quite common for assault survivors to experience hypersexuality.

None of what happened is your fault. You're not a horrible person. You're a survivor.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[ravenkinnie]

I really liked the nimona movie (mostly because I sometimes really really enjoy the turn off your brain movies and the characters were likeable enough) and a few themes spoke to me on a personal level HOWEVER that scene where the director kills the fake ambrosius was SOOO BAD FR!! I was watching it literally like wtf is going on in this house right now?

Overall it was a pretty stereotypical and predictable story. I honestly think without the queer characters it wouldn’t have blown up the way it did.

I think it would have worked better as a series so they could have fleshed out Nimona a lot more. The theme of loneliness/queerphobia and becoming a monster because other people didn’t give you a chance is pretty compelling on its own but the movie was way too short to deliver that on any level even close to atspv or arcane. (That said atspv did do it in a Movie so…)

That said I hope my one post where I called nimona, jinx, Gwen and toph (atla) lonely little trans girl didn’t contribute to your high expectations lol…though I’m almost sure you never saw that one 😂

Ok I’m done now. Sorry I just wanted to agree about the whole ambrosius scene but then I had more thoughts 😅

No need to answer (publically or at all) in case you dont want to invite any discourse

I would probably enjoy it more if I didn't find nimona so annoying and didn't have high expectations from people comparing it to spiderverse and stuff </3 i didn't see your post so you're safe but my mutuals who told me nimona wasn't an annoying child are on thin fucking ice

that scene was so bad me and my gf were sitting there silently just watching it because we couldn't believe this is what they chose to do like girl.... whole team and nobody watched this and said hey this is ass

I know it blew up because it's an animated movie with queer themes and people lole stevensons writing in general, plus the novel has a lot of fans but saying it's one of best animated movies of the year is being full on delulu like maybe if the last animated movie you watched was boss baby or sth. I know there was a lot of production issues so unsure what is the fault of that and what is just bad choices, I do think 2 hours would be perfectly fine to wrap up the storyline and themes they just chose to spend those two hours on dumb shit. it needed someone to tighten up the story and make it more coherent

[jrueships]

top 5 movies

OOOO OKAY so i actually hate doing top tens because i overthink everything and constantly switch things around SOO... im just gonna do a collection of five things bee likes SORRY FOR THE FALSE ADVERTISING 😭

1 City of God

i hate telling people this is one of my fav movies cus I don't wanna seem like that pretentious person who only watches foreign films for the sake of watching foreign films. This is literally my favorite movie because it's my favorite movie. I don't really watch a lot of movies and this just happened to be one i found and happened to like! I read the book first (dont. By the way. It kinda sucks partly because it got translated poorly so not it's fault but mainly because it's violence for the sake of violence. Like if the movie went just by book, i wouldn't like it. But it doesn't so <3 )

think of the movie and the book like No Country For Old Men. The book goes for shock and suspense and the movie goes to make it Art. It's a really pretty film and you kinda value it more knowing like. None of the actors went anywhere. They did their piece for the film then that's pretty much all. It's a good film of a bad film that made it good film? Like what happens is bad, but the bad doesn't happen just to happen and be Bad. IDK man !

Next is

YEAH SO. LMAO um 😭 let's get this clear i hate b*ll i hated him from the beginning righteous prick and i always skipped his parts in the show or used it to do homework when i was lil. I JUST REALLY LOVED THE ANIMATION!! the show and the movie is ass tho. BUT IT'S THE KINDA ASS... you Enjoy 😈. All intentions possible. I love love LOVE watching this movie with friends so we can make fun of it and point out the terrible writing, not in a 'we're better sense' but a 'LMFAO WTF WAS THAT????'

it's a very WTF WAS THAT movie and i love it 😭. Weird Harold, Rudy, and Otis (yall don't even know any of these people but especially Otis. All u gotta know is he's the best) carried. Dumb Donald has a great design cartoon wise but he got on my nerves. He's alright tho

the harder they fall's soundtrack is SO good. It's so cool, it's just a COOL movie. It's an action movie so some of the characters could've been written better (especially some of the women. They werent written horrible but they had more potential that you can feel wasnt justly reached), but the characters they spent time on, you could tell. From their stories and personalities and dialogue and interactions, very cool!!! Sometimes an almost anime-esque kind of movie? Sometimes shot like Scott pilgrim? Sometimes sphagetti western.. Sometimes action.. Sometimes comedy! It's a COOL movie that you can think about a little bit but not cramp yourself over. It's not a complete turn your brain off though. It's engaging in what it is! Which is a lot of things, so it's very engaging!!!

Blade!!!!!! The patron Saint of joth gf!! my first!!! my beloved!! my EVERYTHING!!!!! the movie's writing shows its time in only having personality in 'crazy side villain who dies' 'clever quip when someone dies' 'sad for short time when someone dies'. Maybe the new blade movie wouldn't be in such a fumbling state if i was in the writer's room with my divine, lifesaving advice of 'just make blade more babygirl'. Literally. That's all you have to do. It's not that difficult. ANYWAYS yeah he and the flash and hawkman were my 3 only childhood 'superhero' heroes. This is more of a personal childhood attachment thing like Albert than being a.. Good movie. BUT it DOES have its cinematography! You can feel the wuxia inspiration in some scenes

these two can sit in the same space because they're both childhood films as well. Boyz was better at leaning into characters as human (which i value a lot) and menace was better at showing the edge of what life can do to characters. They're both good films in their own right! Check em out! I liked menace way more than the other when i was younger but growing up im leaning more toward the other but they're AGAIN theyre both super snazzy

Some honorable mentions... to make up for the lack of a ranking system:

- New Jack City: NEWWW JACK! CIIIITYYY (NEW JACK CITYY 🎶 !!) older blaxplotation movie so cheesy, cheap, but like? Cool??? cut out the cheesy old cop crud and you get an entertaining villain with an entertaining mob. Also there's one death in the movie that's a brutal one, and it's offscreen. You just see a glimpse of the desecrated aftermath. Those are like the best deaths in a movie tbh. The imagination being our biggest friend and our biggest enemy. Love it love it!

- dead presidents: WAR IS TRAUMATIZING!!!

- mean girls: the Brutus speech about Cesar.. no essay can compare. Shakespeare shut the fuck up bitch

- clueless: 🥰

- little shop of horrors: open up here i come

- in the wood: STACY!!!!!!!

- Rocky: Apollo slayed and then he died

- sky high + high school musical: Disney peaked with these characters then never again

- FRIDAY + Friday 2: loved the 'you don't need a weapon' moral trying to be taught then using a weapon (brick) in the end. Seamless

- ratatouille: the wii game ratatouille was my red dead redemption

- baby jody: all manchilds need to watch this. It's hilarious and it's true. Don't be a manchild. Grow up. OH also the mom has a little garden and it's really cute. And she's super buff. People try to plant shit in her garden. Makes me so mad. We can never have nice things!!!

- coraline: the movie was so cool.. the video game on the wii scared me so bad i had nightmares from the bad game over screens. But the designs were great the elements the songs the using good characters abilities into their bad character abilities UGH it was SO cool!!! i hate people that like coraline though... it's like.. idk how to describe it. there's like two types of theater people... either really really nice or seems really nice, actually a huge usually passive aggressive or control freak holier than thou smart ass who thinks they're the stem of theater because their personality is loving hamilton (i fucking hate hamilto

- hot boyz: this movie is straight ass

- king of New york: this one kinda sucked too but the secondary villain was gay and awesome

- Good Burger: i watched a blossoming boy romance in a place that sells burgers. Good burgers.

- Monster House

they survived because they had sex

-Kung fu panda all of them except maybe not the 3rd: just gorgeous gorgeous movies. The animation is stunning

- Hustle & flow: Ludacris !!!!!!!!! Acts!! He gets his ass kicked but that's ok. I think in another film he also gets his ass kicked? I can't remember tho. He loves losing

- Se7en: themed kills that play with unique abilities 🥰🥰 i don't have the patience for a murder mystery so i don't remember who did it or what was in the box and i don't cool. Seven deadly sins awesome

- Barbershop: mollusk man and preppy man should've had sex. Hate sex specifically

- that one movie? 9?: i watched it when i was little and alone. The Bara fucking dies

- Johnny English Reborn aka THE MR BEAN X DANIEL KALUUYA MOVIE IM TELLING YOU THEY HAD S*X!!!!!!@ it's actually a mainly unfunny movie with some funny parts like most older comedies but it's gay so it's ok

- encanto: i don't like encanto like Some people like encanto but it was the first movie that made me upset, I can't even Identify why?? It got me in my feelings and i don't even know!! How!! Or what!!!! I wouldn't say it's my favorite movie in terms of i want to see it again because i Like it, but it IS a good movie!! Like objectively it's great

- night at the museum: gay

- white chicks: the dancing scene? Monster high wishes it could

- cars: the purple car was so hot

- mo' better blues: so much could be solved if hate sex...

- remember the titans: football polycule and mean man

- fences: father issues . The Movie.

- into the spiderverse: yes.

- the players club: her boyfriend's name was Lance who tf is called Lance who is real? Like a real person? Lance is for GTA Lance Vance who likes to Dance. He cheated because he was always fake. Like Lance armstrong.. they are not. Real people.

- NOPE: the spectacle idea is SOOOOO

- glory road: gay people gay people gay basketball people gay

- space jam: i thought this was the coolest shit when i was little but the part where Michael's manager got flattened gave me nightmares.

Let It Shine: lord of Da Bling.....

-space jam 2: robot dame is still hot

- Get Out: I liked reading the script a lot for this one!! Also gay. Loving gay couple who survived crazy white people and coparent a tiny dog very well. A well deserved happiness

- jump in: this movie is like fat albert to me

- white men can't jump: gay couple school the system (love wins)

- Jason takes manhattan: my favorite character is on watchmojo top ten best Jason kills 😭😭 Julius gaw you should've won and i stand by that. Should've donkeykicked him in the stomach ROLL CREDITS!!!!

[moon-mage]

Just some venting about being a working adult because I have no other outlet feel free to ignore! :3

why WHY DID YOU IDIOT HIRE ME WHEN Y'ALL DONT HAVE YOUR OWN SHIT TOGETHER WHAT THE HELL

these assholes had the NERVE to hire me and after that tell me the doctor will be out for a month so I wont be starting until a month later which I was like okay, sure! And my nice ass didn't see the red flag and was actually honestly excited to start this job and kill it but the first day I'm sitting there like a lump because no one had my passwords to access anything and there's no patients because the doctor is out. There's no use teaching me anything when there's not even patients and I cant access the systems....oh yeah and there was no desk for me to sit. I was the fourth hire and they had no space for me. Not even an extra laptop to use which is very common as an MA anyway. So like what The next day its so fucking busy no one has time to even break it all down for me. So I'm just following and smiling like wtf. Oh yeah and the trainer is not also the daughter of one of my mom's friends she's the most crabby and grouchy person EVEERRRRR. So shes just spending most of the time talking shit on the other MAs and low key quizzing me to see if I know my shit. Oh and I got my logins now. Day three is hell incarnated because they had my trainer going to another site so I'm with only one of the MAs that work there while two are there from another site and its OVERWHEMLING because they think because I have my logins that I know exactly what to say and do and I'm like whAT??? and I already have a perfectionist personality so even though I know this ain't my fault, I still feel like a failure for not grasping everything in DAY THREE. I literally had to excuse myself to go outside and cool off because I was PISSED. That's never happened in a NEW FUCKING JOB WHAT THE HELL. Fourth day is still as hectic and crazy with no fucking direction because the trainer was busy and yatta yatta...and I'm like....brah this ain't fucking SHIT. Then trainer is like 'yeah I have two weeks to train you' and I'm like...COOL. Considering you have yet to truly train me on DAY FOUR. I refuse to put my energy into an already established mess that seems to want to make itself messier. I have spent most of my career coming into messes and tidying them up and now....I don't wanna anymore. Fuck that. I don't have the patience for it anymore...but I guess that's what happens after going through a the most deep depressive episode of my entire life. At first I felt guilty like I can't handle it...but I actually sat down and evaluated this and went wait...IM NOT THE WRONG ONE HERE. IT'S THEM. THEY'RE FUCKED!!!!

im pissed I wasted valuable time and I'm pissed I was excited to work for them but there's nothing I can do but move on. I need money but I also need my fucking sanity...because I woke up dreading it...how do you wake up dreading the FOURTH DAY OF WORK? kjdsnkdsnkdskjndskn what the hell man. Working ain't fucking shit.

yatta yatta one door closes another one opens my I guess

[3dayweeknd]

men do not care about respecting anyone’s boundaries (aka my father)

tbh i might be overreacting but also maybe not because boundaries

ok likee. my dad is very physically affectionate which is like whatever its not his fault and i know he misses me when im not home i just. need some space bro. like hugs are whatever if u ask but like. the other day i was eating dinner and he came and sat next to me but the problem wasnt the sitting net to me its that he put his plate like literally in my space like imagine if there was imaginary lines for everyone for like where your own plates and stuff go like im saying he put it in my space and then scooted like right next to me and faced towards me and talked into the side of my face and like all i asked was can i have some space and he was so fucking offended like actually taken aback. its not even the first time i expressed that i needed space. and immediately he was like “no”. what the fuck do you mean “no” you’re going to violate my boundaries and invade my personal space out of spite because i hurt your feelings by having boundaries and by not wanting you breathing down my neck??? i wasnt even like mean about it i just wanted to eat in peace. that actually made me mad because if youre saying u  just miss me and want to be near me but dont respect my own boundaries then you dont really give a fuck about what i think and what i want then. this is all about you then and you only care what YOU want. its actually baffling the audacity of men. and then today all 4 of us went to church and nobody wanted to sit next time him but he always manspreads into our space so they made me sit next to him. and he wanted to hold my hand which im usually fine with but today i just really didnt want to and i kept like NOT holding his hand and then he literally picked up my sleeve to move my arm into his space. wtf.  and i tried not to let him sit on literally the same chair as i was on and i put my purse between us and spread my feet and he crossed his legs into my space and his shoe was literally on me. and like i KNOW he’s getting the signal but he doesnt give a fuck. and then i put my hands in my pocket and then he just started rubbing me knee. I literally fucking cant like when i get irritated my senses are heightened/sensitive and any sort of touching like that makes me so fucking mad. and then when we were standing my hands were still in my pockets and he put his OWN HAND INTO MY POCKET. like ACTUALLY what the fuck. and then he held my arm in between his hands so i couldnt even move like i was itchy and i couldnt move to get it. he literally knows i dont want to be touched he just doesnt fucking care and then whenever i verbalize it hes all butthurt like im deliberately not allowing it to hurt him. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU ITS LITERALLY NOT ABOUT U