#and its just not enough
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what kinda bad ending we tb….. cuz i’m kinda curious
consider: falling out of love with gojo
#asks!#like the bitter kind where u do everything right#but it just doesnt feel the same#but hes trying so hard#so so hard#and its just not enough#not because hes not enough#but hes just not what u need anymore
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im fucking trying...
#i try and try and try until im exhausted and unable to think straight and its not enough#its fucking never enough#nothing is ever enough#im just fucking trying#im trying my fucking hardest#and its just not enough#others can put in little to no effort and get good grades and a job and shit and me trying my best gets me 100 missing assignments...#whats wrong with me#i promise im trying#i really am#im trying so hard#but its not good enough#nothing i do is good enough#im just trying to make it through each day without killing myself and others can do such amazing things so easily?#what the fuck is wrong with me#am i broken? or defective?#prolly both#idfk
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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.
#katniss everdeen#the hunger games trilogy#the hunger games#primrose everdeen#hunger games#batcavescolony reads the hunger games#suzanne collins#'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl#and this isn't negative just bffr girl#your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is#old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU#...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in#CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the#reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously#shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent#so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to#district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie#and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give#them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like#some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12#cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact#that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good#these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the#hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to#comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but#of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.
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more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gf nevermind all that#is this really for that? no but if its post canon bill on earth then it may as well be. makes it nice and easy to find later too#reread tbob because we just got our own (nicely water damaged) copy and i was like. i dont draw him cute enough#i will continue trying to do better#anyways stanley you are a butch woman. stanley transition now you dont even have to do anything youre already perfect#its just about the intent#every time i drew him for the last one all i could think was oohhhhhh my god you are a dyke. to me. please#in other news are there any burned out pushing-30s out there who havent drawn in years? i gotta say. i really gotta say.#get mentally ill about something its great. preferably alongside a few other people that you can use to create a perpetual cycle of insanit#gets you drawing again in no time and it feels great
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being a student during peak pandemic was so fucking surreal like. "it's not an excuse to fall behind" I cannot stress enough to you how much A Worldwide Plague Upending Life As We Know It is literally one of The Top Three Reasons to fall behind
#you go upstairs to hear the news talk about the death toll hitting 100k. you get some frozen waffles bc its all you've got stocked up#and you wont risk going to get groceries or takeout. you go back downstairs because you have a 3 page essay due.#you stare at your word doc with lofi playing and wonder why you can't just buckle down and work like normal.#or really. you pretend to wonder#because you know the reason you cant work like normal#you just refuse to allow yourself to believe its reason enough#mine#academia#covid mention
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Today I saw a pic of a baby cowbird next 2 its nest "parent" and it was so much bigger!!!!! Which is the sort of thing that gets normal people upset about the injustice of nest parasitism but makes *me* worry if baby cowbirds get bird dysmorphia
#they are SO MUCH BIGGER its just like. do you think they get confused by the whole thing?#... maybe thats enough birds for today#animal friends
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the 'all marriage is gay as far as im concerned' except its me watching a man and woman character in a show i like and accidentally saying 'theyre so gay' because i literally forget thats not the word for romance because to me all romance is gay
#normally i find the way m/f pairings are written to be really frustrating#not because its like 'i hate straight people' or whatever i literally just want them to actually like each other and communicate#or have an interesting enough dynamic i can stay invested#also i am bisexual and m/f pairings can be nice. but liek they actually have to Be Nice and like eachother or be funny at the very least#txt#scratchpost
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reflection
#anyways so i think samus has major survivors guilt and is a super perfectionist. The type of girl who reimagines scenarios in her mind#And thinks about how she could have done better. like ‘if i had woken up sooner maybe i could have saved everyone in prime 3’#so i think she says she doesnt know anything about herself because shes so hypercritical of her actions she doesnt see herself as a person#while also her hyper critical-ness shows how she says she wants to ignore herself but she literally cant because she has so many criticisms#oh i wanted to include the ppl from the prime 2 manga in that one shot but was like ‘i dont think ppl will recognize them’.#also lol the existence of dark samus would fuck her up SOOOO bad like it only exists bc she exists & its responsible for the gang’s deaths#okay im done rambling tldr MENTAL ILLNESS.#metroid#samus aran#loneart#metroid dread#metroid prime#super metroid#metroid series#i dont wanna tag all the games. There just those games is enough#hall of fame#gray voice
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"Why did I do that?"
close up
#transformers one#transformers#megatron#bumblebee#b 127#maccadam#megatron the terrible and his son B127#geniunly it would be so horrible if megatron ends up being the one to rip out bees voice box#like HES the one who found him in sub level 50#he knows#why would he do that to him#its geniunly so sad that they gave bee this backstory and that hes going to lose his voice#especially since they were once friends#well#i mean dee was bees best friend but bee was just the yellow thing dee tolerated LOOL#but still#it makes me so sad to think about#i would like to think that the smallest part of megatron cares even a little#not enough though
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only you.
#alt versions under the cut!#my art#arcane#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#these two have infested my brain like mold#oh god its yooouuuuuu that i liieeeeee wiiiiiith#sweat this out of myself in the brief three days i spent home (want to go backkkkk im tired im nauseous im in my hate everyone era againn)#i just want to feel better!!!!!!!!!#letting myself go a little bonkers with this helped a little but the guilt over not progressing with my thesis film is going to consume me#anyway. enough of using the tags as a confessional. bone apple teeth
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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Still thinking about none houses left grief, and while I understand where people are coming from, "it took me out of the world" is just... Really not a relevant criticism here. Like, that line is SUPPOSED to be jarring. It is supposed to be kind of darkly funny, but the point isnt for you to laugh. Its not trying to be a punchline. The point of that line IS to "take you out of the world" because the point is that *this world isn't what you thought it was.*
#if it startled you that something so irreverant and lowbrow would come up in a high fantasy serious world#...then maybe ask yourself if this is really a serious high fantasy world#also i do think its just elitist that everyone complains about the tumblr references and not the word for word bible quotes#like maybe the author was trying to make a point about why you accept that catholicism is a cultural constant but not memes?#maybe take a step back and ask yourself what kind of cultural artifacts you think are important enough to be worth mentioning#tlt#htn#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#tlt spoilers
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if you have reasons not to self harm or die, i could really use those today
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charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️
#WOW WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT THEYD BE MY FAVORITES. THIS TOTALLY WASNT EXPECTED. NOT AT ALL.#i have lots of persona art its just uncolored dw#doing the shujin trio next i miss them so bad☹️☹️ also i need pegoryu content to stay sane and alive#anyway they're like. actually fucking insane 💀💀💀💀#like lawlight level toxic yaoi its so absurd#like i was like damn soukoku is intense WHO ARE THESE FREAKS#WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY LIKE THIS.#ACTUALLY FUCKING INSANE. LIKE EXTREMELY MENTAL AND SICK IN THE HEAD.#AKECHI IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH#god they actually make me so fucking AUAUAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH#i NEED to finish royal shidos palace GUTTED ME#they were initially so funny to me bc right off the bat you can tell how much of a FREAK akechi is just paraphrasing hegel#and being so ferevently obsessed with ren its like bro why is this guy straightup dickriding us for telling him we like our eggs well done#ANYWAY their dynamic always felt so sad to me bc it was akechi just desperately clawing for what ren had the entire time ☹️#and the more he realized how worthless he was in comparison the more mentally unhinged he became until he actually broke#me when the trope is “the love was there but it wasn't enough to save them” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (FUCKING DEVASTATING)#ermmm anyway yea they're neat. ig#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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Hey if people are thinking of 'stockpiling HRT' and you are doing it with Testosterone, be aware that is a controlled substance and doing this WILL GET YOU A FELONY CHARGE IF YOU ARE CAUGHT (and it would be very easy for this to happen through the way those posts reccomend).
Its your decision if you want to risk imprisonment (and then definitely losing hrt access), but be aware of the serious consequences- especially if you are recommending this to people!
If you do this with E, you get a slap on the wrist. If you do this with T its a felony. A felony charge deeply effects everything you do. Its not just hard to DYI T, its MANY TIMES LEGALLY RISKIER AND HARDER.
#'dyi hrt its fine anyone can'. Tell me you dont know or care doing that with T will get you time in prison and a permanent criminal record#stop passing posts saying to do this without this warning on it. This kind of charge ruins lives and monkey business CANNOT be relied on#'just trust that they are overworked enough to not check they filled it out right and that they will buy your lie'#the second they catch on you are FUCKED. The consequence is not 'uwu you just wont get more extra' its a court date and a cop up your ass#it is NOT fearmongering to say this. do not fuck around with controlled substances when there is a PAPER TRAIL??? HELLO?#do you want access to meds permanently revoked? A mark like that is how you get doctors to not want to give them to you Forever#wayward rambling#rebloggable but clowning will get the post locked
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Is this my best comic ever?? Nope. Do I think I characterized either of these two particularly well in this comic?? Not really. Did I spend an unreasonable amount of time on it to the point that it would be a waste to not post it?? Yes, yes I did.
I really committed to this one, spent a lot of time on those backgrounds and treated myself to ample suffering with the perspective, which is not my strong suit but I am happy with how it ultimately looks. Yay perspective and background practice!!
(Tbh I shouldn't talk like I think this one sucks, I think I've just been staring at it for so long that my brain has decided it's not good and it's actually way better than I think it is, and honestly I am quite happy with it. The artistic process really is something, isn't it?)
The inspiration was basically me reminding... myself... to take breaks sometimes... by drawing for several hour stints during my only little bits of free time. Which totally tracks. Probably. But I've been rolling around in my brain this idea that Lambert is a very uptight people pleaser and anxious workaholic, but Narinder, at least since adjusting himself to the circumstances (which probably took at least a century, maybe two) has discovered the joys of self care, and has made an active effort to chill tf out. This has not made him any less terrifying to the cultists (save for Lambert's closest disciples), nor has it made him friendlier to really anyone but Lambert (and maybe his siblings), but he sure has found some serious peace of mind. That said, I can't place what his motivations are here. Perhaps he is secretly concerned about Lambert's sanity, because he doesn't want them to turn into what he was, or maybe he's just trying to steal away some quality time with his one and only friend, but regardless of the reason, I spent too much time on this for nobody to see it, dang it.
That said. Enjoy this silly little comic that I spent way too much time on, and I hope this silly comic brings you some joy today.
#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl#cotl fanart#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl narilamb#narilamb#(like honestly narilamb is a qpr to me specifically and i intend this as such but this can easily be read as romantic as well tbh)#also we get some bonus jalala and rinor in this one!! and some bonus... implied leshycat. technically#not gonna tag those individually cuz there's just like. not enough of it for me to feel like those tags have any meaning#but they're here as a bonus. also jalala and rinor are fun to draw maybe i should make a mini comic just about them sometime#rambles aside pls enjoy this ridiculous comic that i spent an unreasonable amount of time on it was a joy to work on#and even tho its not my best comic ever i do love how it turned out it was such a good time#the yet untitled qpr narilamb au
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