#nothing is ever enough
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im fucking trying...
#i try and try and try until im exhausted and unable to think straight and its not enough#its fucking never enough#nothing is ever enough#im just fucking trying#im trying my fucking hardest#and its just not enough#others can put in little to no effort and get good grades and a job and shit and me trying my best gets me 100 missing assignments...#whats wrong with me#i promise im trying#i really am#im trying so hard#but its not good enough#nothing i do is good enough#im just trying to make it through each day without killing myself and others can do such amazing things so easily?#what the fuck is wrong with me#am i broken? or defective?#prolly both#idfk
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I need perfect songs. I -
#won't continue the post cause it's just spiraling#but yeah...#nothing is ever enough#musicblogging#ink.post#mentally ill posting
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man really needed a fucking shoulder now ngl lol
#wintspeak#so tired of killing myself with work and school and still being treated as a disappointment#nothing is ever enough#and it's not gonna be
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I'm at my breaking point
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I just realized it'll take the eng server almost a year to reach the 3D Cheka T pose model :' ) we're at book 7 part 6, and we get a new main story update every 2 to 3 months..
Anyway, do you wanna share some fun, spoiler-free shenanigans that happened in jp's server.? Just to have some crumbs to lick off the table until we get our own sandwich (my heart is empty and my soul is crying)
spoiler-free is pretty hard, especially considering. the, uhhh, particular turn that things take directly after 6. (like, the fact that the other characters are showing up probably counts on its own?) and I do think that if you can avoid getting spoiled, most of it is definitely better as a surprise! some of the genuinely best Twst moments are waiting for you. :D
if I may, however, present one of my favorite little throwaway bits with absolutely no context:
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 10 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 10 spoilers#i've been thinking about 10 in particular lately. idk.#been sort of obsessed with the fact that azul calls his parents mama and papa#maybe it was only in the dream but i choose to believe this is just true of him because it's adorable#nothing more delightful than azul getting harassed by the twins and impotently shrieking about how his papa is a LAWYER he'll SUE them!!!!#azul your papa is a divorce attorney#i'm not sure he's ready to take on the literal ocean mafia#geeze though. y'all on eng have my deepest sympathies.#i have a hard enough time waiting between parts#(7-12 is coming for us next week and i'm already DYING of impatience 😭)#i cannot imagine also trying to dodge all the spoilers like a master thief in a hallway of laser beams#you all are stronger than i will ever be#that said i am VERY much enjoying vicariously reliving 6 via my activity page#rip meleanor...how i miss you...#man. i gotta draw more meleanor.#(to be fair this is true of me at any given moment)
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I woke up from a good dream, sweetly cuddled up next to my husband this morning only to see he was already awake and looking at naked pictures of other women on Reddit. Instantly sent me into a silent spiral of self hatred.
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#kms#gorl .#deep breath. god heaus#literally $100+ short on rent !!!!!! LMAO#i actually lowkey want to die in my sleep hehe#like okay maybe that’s slightly dramatic#but i feel financially hopeless all the time#nothing is ever enough#it makes me want to HAVE nothing#get rid of this fucking apartment and car and shit and kick it#idk#i want to have fun tomorrow. i want to make a friend. i don’t want to cry.
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some thoughts wrt the two established "romances" in severance so far (burt/irving and helly/mark) inspired by @figmentof who pointed out how irving had to find out mark and helly kissed from the corporate video in s2 e1 and how he must have felt seeing his co-workers' love affair like portrayed like that, and how it ties into the queer narrative at play here which uses workplace dynamics and policies as very clear analogues for real-life prejudice against queer couples. I mean, just look at this:
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it's not just documented, but celebrated. used as propaganda for how the conditions on the severance floor have improved. proof that the severed workers are happy. and how even though he is unaware of the sociopolitical meaning of all this, lumon is very not-subtly telling him that what he had with burt is inherently lower and less valuable than this.
irving doesn't even know homophobia exists and yet he is still affected by it, it still seeps into every corner of the way his and burt's romance progresses. burt is positioned as an unacceptable love interest from the jump. irv is actively discouraged at every turn from pursuing it. their friendship is viewed with disgust and apprehension from their coworkers. burt working in a different department that's hated by MDR. dylan himself not being homophobic in the sense he opposes their relationship because they're both men but his attempts to keep them apart still has a parallel sort of prejudice behind it and still ultimately has the same effect as if it WERE driven by homophobia. irving is made to feel perverse for wanting contact with burt. he's told this is for his own good.
and then, just as they manage to overcome that immediate resistance from their peers and escape to a place where they can explore this blossoming romance on their own terms, burt retires. for all it matters to irv, he's dead. and then irving is given the option to live the rest of his life with grief that will never heal, or kill himself too, because there is no reality where they get to be together. that's just the way things are. of course they wouldn't get to be together. he was unreasonable and childish for ever hoping that could happen. this is just the way it goes for innies. he's told to get ahold of himself and not make a scene.
but the thing is, the standards are not the same for all. a heterosexual romance gets upheld as the shining example of success and fulfilment for the severed employees, whilst a homosexual romance is ridiculed and invalidated, and written off as something that was simply never meant to be. and even more importantly to irving, a heterosexual romance is APPROVED OF by lumon, and by extension, by kier. irv held back from allowing himself to even call his and burt's relationship a romance, because his god had told him it was wrong, he followed the handbook, thinking this was what kier wanted, and then finding out after suffering the worst heartbreak imaginable because of it, that this WASN'T EVEN TRUE. it's simply just that someone like HIM doesn't get to have something like this. his love is not the kind of love god wants. he does not approve of irv's love. cynical and manipulative though that approval may be (even within the context of the corporate video, the helly/mark romance is only being celebrated to further the narrative that lumon care for their workers, but the point still remains that it was THEIR romance specifically used to suit this end), when your entire life has been in pursuit of that approval, it must be devastating to learn it was never on the cards for you.
he and burt even used the fact kier met and fell in love with his wife in the same circumstances as them to justify this to each other - and they were RIGHT, god does approve of falling in love with your coworkers - this simply just doesn't apply to them specifically. and if irving needed any more proof that he no longer has a place at lumon, that he's better off not existing at all than existing with this pain that cannot be remedied, pain that won't even be acknowledged for what it is, a symptom of a sickness which plagues the entire severance system, pain that he is simply expected to choke down and get over - this is that proof.
and that's the POINT. they're TELLING us that this is unjust, and there's a double standard. they're using the ways the innies experience romance and the difference in lumon's reaction (lumon being the collective of all the management we've seen, lumon as a singular entity) to burt/irving vs helly/mark to comment on how queer people are not afforded the same level of respect or validation IN REAL LIFE, for their attachments, their love, their pain, their suffering. it is NOT just incidental that irving's romance is with a man. it would not WORK if his love interest was a woman. the POINT is that they are both men and how that puts them at a disadvantage, even if they aren't aware of the prejudices of the outside world, even if they don't TECHNICALLY apply on the severance floor, there are very clear analogues which still end up oppressing them in equivalent ways that they would be suffering if this were a normal workplace in the outside world.
it genuinely sickens me to my stomach that even in a world so divorced from reality and the sensibilities of regular society, a queer couple is still made to suffer and feel inferior in a way that perfectly mirrors their real-life counterparts. how they will never, EVER be allowed to exist in a world where their love could thrive freely and uninhibited - they never get to taste the joy our world has to offer people like them, but they are still somehow subjected to all the pain it has to offer them regardless. it's such horrifically devastating writing. it makes my skin crawl. I can't stop thinking about it
#TO BE CLEAR i am not trying to claim that lumon do genuinely want helly and mark to be a couple#they very begrudgingly co-opted this display of affection and camaraderie to suit their own ends#like i say. the approval is cynical. its purely utilitarian.#however the fact it CAN be used to further their narrative that severance is a good thing#whilst severance itself has brought nothing but pain to irv and his romantic endeavours#is very telling. its very fucking telling#especially from irvs perspective specifically here. this is how HE'D see it#as someone who puts so much stock in what kier would think of him. someone who based his entire identity#on following his doctrine to the letter. how he would see the one real true thing hes ever experienced written off like this#whilst another couple is inexplicably celebrated. i mean just look at his dead eyed stare in that sc.#this broke him. this was his final straw#anyways im not nearly intelligent or well read enough to do a thorough analysis on exactly how#religion plays into irvs mindset and his character arc#these are just thoughts on the hypocrisy shown by lumon on the romance thing specifically#clocking into writing meta for this show like its a 9-5. its so serious.#severance#severance spoilers#severance season 2#meta tag#wails from the abyss#irving bailiff#burt x irving
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okay other ships are great but there is truly nothing that can stand against watching a being as old as time with the angelic power of the cosmos reach out and rest a healing hand against the face of the man he loves and breaking through every order and every command that’s been inside him for millennia. like you mean to tell me that there is anything more romantic than that ??? anything more than castiel, a being of unfathomable power, choosing to reach out and use touch and feel dean to heal him over and over again even when we know it’s not necessary ??? i will never get over it and i will never be sane because there is nothing that even comes close to that in other ships im sorry but like the very touch of him corrupts and from that first second he was lost and he fell in love with humanity because he fell in love with dean and with every gentle and healing touch made with a soldiers hands he pours that love into deans skin and hmmnnngnng
#destiel#castiel#dean winchester#supernatural#and how dean kneels and looks up and places his life in cas’ hands#time and time again#trusting in ways that we know he does not with anyone else#always reaching back always trying to offer his own comfort#‘i need you’ ‘cursed or not’#and how he deprives himself of castiels grace and healing when he doesn’t feel worthy of it despite nothing he does being enough#to ever stop cas from loving him#to ever stop cas from offering it#other ship did it first this and other ship did it as well that#there’s no other ship out there doing it like dean and cas
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When in doubt, Soup it out.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan.#wei wuxian#Yes I am skipping over LWJ's panic at WWX joking about giving birth to A-Yuan. It's funny bit but there are many more to come!#The last time these two sat down together the tensions were so high. The peace is nothing more than a layer of cold fat on the surface.#It's not 'really' them coming to see eye to eye. It's them not having the energy to say what they really want anymore.#LWJ is very defined by his jealousy and the conflict it creates with his need to put his feelings aside for the perceived greater good.#To live a life where you are always second and never ever allowing yourself to be first...#If other people can be at peace and happy - it has to be worth it right?#If he orders a plate of food that he will struggle to eat but is the favourite thing of the person sitting across from him#Is it not worth the sacrifice?#But remember! You can't take anything for yourself ever. No matter how much you want it.#He did it once before and he regrets it so much. So all he can do is accommodate.#And WWX? Well. You can't let anyone in if there isn't enough water to splash around in.#Keep things shallow and they just move on. Even if you'll miss them when they go - this is just how things are now.#No more teasing and trying to pull a reaction from LWJ anymore. You'll never be more than someone he can't stand so what's the point.
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#im just trying my damn hardest#im trying#im trying so fucking hard#im just trying#but trying isnt enough#nothing is ever enough#im trying...im fucking trying but its never enough#i have to try harder but if i do im going to end up more burnt out than i already am#and im burnt out enough to have constant panic attacks and the inability to get out of bed#idfk anymore#i know it doesnt look like it to anybody but im trying so fucking hard to not fail#i just want someone irl to acknowledge that im trying...#im trying im trying im trying im trying im trying im trying im trying im trying im trying im trying im trying im trying im trying im trying#IM FUCKING TRYING#but my best is never enough is it?#i think im just going to eat nothing until someone praises me irl#i dont think anybody has told me that i did a good job in like a year#im just so fucking tired#i just wanna go to sleep and wake up and have everything be ok...#anyways cute gloomy bear gif up there being just like me fr#doing nothing
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
#red said#it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong#this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT#because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION#i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered#but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances#then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING#i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened#because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman#b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening#c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much#it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'
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Prompt 162
“So,” Danny drawled from where he was sitting, legs kicking slightly. Really, what a fun reincarnation. A world with heroes and villains where he didn’t have to do shit in and could just vibe with Ellie.
“So,” Tim responded from where he was typing on his computer, mostly in civilian clothes save for his gauntlets and boots. The Red Robin outfit was haphazardly dropped across the couch and his pole leaning against the end.
“Technically there’s proper procedures for clones…” Danny motioned to both himself and Ellie from where they sat on the counter, snacking on a plateful of scones. From Alfred, he was certain.
“Technically, yes… but do we want to actually do that?”
All three of them smiled, something almost feral in the motion. Of course not. They all had the same memories after all, and Bruce had just returned from the past, from exactly where and when Tim had said he was. Despite no one believing him, hence why they were in his boathouse, and not in the apartment or manor.
“Think we can pull it off?” Ellie took a sip of tea, mischief swirling in her eyes.
“Of course we can.” Both Danny and Tim spoke at once, one pulling up a new doc and the other pulling the whiteboard out from under a curtain.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#danny fenton#ellie fenton#tim drake#Ras: *Makes Tim Clones*#Danny & Ellie: Lmao we’re gonna blow up this place and go- buh-bye now~#All three of them are salty about the whole time-travelling thing#Tim: Why is one of my clones a girl?#Ellie: Idk man but I’m not changing#Tim: Fair enough do u want me to make you guys proper IDs#They’re going to do mischief and make the Batfam think they’ve always been triplets#They have the paper trail to prove that the Drakes had triplets#Neither Danny or Ellie have powers but that isn’t going to stop them#Nothing can go wrong ever they’re sure#Why yes this is inspired by the Ao3 fic Twincognito Mode#Why YES Bruce does in fact think he somehow adjusted the timeline#And Yes Clockwork does do a little nudge to make their IDs & history *pretty* solid#He's back in Long Now eating popcorn and watching his new favorite show
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Obsessed with Miles absolutely melting while thinking about Gwen and creating art while she's bottling up her feelings for him and violating the drums. They're both experiencing the same feeling, reacting completely differently to it and expressing it through art in different ways. Obsessed with how his montage feels calmer than hers, hers quickly turns agressive especially towards the end.
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#no matter how much appreciation this movie gets it's not enough nothing will ever be#anyways ship gwiles you're gonna go nuts like i did but it's worth it#miles morales#gwen stacy#gwiles#ghostflower#spider man across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse#spiderverse
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Could you believe this didn't fix me? I, too, am shocked.
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Sir wanted to control my Sync O while I was working and well…one thing led to another and I had to take a short break.
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Wrought Iron ✢ Handmade Choker The design was inspired by gothic wrought iron fences. I tea dyed both the lace and cotton twill backing to match the cream needlepoint thread ^^
#I am planning on headdresses with this sort of design but its going to take me a long time to get those done lol#i would like to try making more designs like this though in addition to the text needlepoints ^^ i think it turned out quite cute#also ignore the weirdest coord ever in the product photos lol ive been so tired and i wanted to pair it with that vm dress but#couldnt find a matching blouse with a high enough collar lmaaooo#and i would prefer to keep the chokers and whatnot off of my skin as much as possible since theyre being sold#anyways long explanation for nothing. i think this choker turned out very cute#textile
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