#and its entirely my fault
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mood for this week
#so much homework#and its entirely my fault#itll be fiiiiine#oo the fi has a ligature in this font#see i am learning things in my classes
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Me after continuously making poor choices and it has consequences 😨
#fucking pain#migraine aaa#and its entirely my fault#why am i so stupid why cant i stop making bad decisione
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if anyone needs help identifying things that can become moral scrupulosity OCD obsessions/compulsions, heres a list of some i've experienced:
rereading your posts/texts over and over
checking your notes and/or followers list frequently to "make sure" bad actors aren't interacting with you
checking OP's blog before interacting with posts
compulsively opening a social media tab to look at your notifs and then closing it, over and over
fearing ways that things you say/do (or don't do) could be taken in bad faith. being anxious that your words/actions will be misconstrued as morally wrong, bigoted, rude, or aggressive
feeling guilty or obsessing over whether you should or shouldn't have reblogged a post
feeling like you aren't "allowed" to disengage from online discourse or unfollow people who post it
fearing you're being stalked, talked about, or called out behind your back. fearing you'll never be forgiven and that people might even celebrate your disappearance or death, even though you havent done anything wrong
searching your own name/username to see if anyone is actually talking about you
imagining defenses you would make against nonexistent heinous accusations or arguments against you, to prove that you didnt do it
feeling like you have to roll over and become a doormat when others are cruel to you, because it could cause strife if you do anything other than grovel or apologize
having trouble enforcing your own boundaries out of fear that they are somehow "wrong" or unethical
ending up surrounded by people who have all the "right opinions" but are super mean and unpleasant, and make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells
fearing that just HAVING moral ocd makes you a bad person somehow (for example, i often fear that having moral ocd is somehow pushing a 'stranger danger' or misanthropist agenda, even though i actually have a lot of faith in my fellow humans)
some of these bullet points are not inherently bad on their own, but if you find yourself having this kind of anxiety very often, that's not normal, and it's time to get offline or even seek professional help if it's impacting your life
this list is catered to how online culture influences moral scrupulosity, it is not indicative of how everybody's moral scrupulosity functions, and it is not exhaustive
#amygdalae#ocd#actually ocd#moral ocd#moral scrupulosity#ive had OCD since as far back as i can remember but it used to be religious and contamination related#i actually started to grow out of my OCD symptoms until i started using social media as a teenager. i had trouble making friends IRL#i ended up in some very emotionally abusive online friend groups that basically trained these behaviors into me like a dog#its not entirely their fault. its something im just biologically predisposed to. and it can latch onto anything!#the wild part about OCD is that it grows and changes with you. for better or for worse
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Crouch
#nottsketches#mha#my hero academia#bnha#boku no hero academia#katsuki bakugo#mha bakugo#boy put a shirt on#i say as its entirely my fault he doesn't have one lol
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Last Unicorn quote stuck out to me so I gave it to Spider-Fox
(the only person willing to be your friend and he didn't show up until long after you already lost all trust in other people)
#i won't post about the movie yet but i WILL post more sonic prime heyooo!! there's no escape!!#sonic prime#sth#nine the fox#miles nine prower#shadow the hedgehog#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#my art#baby fox do do do do do do#poor sonic though: imagine raising a kid like family only to see how the kid would turn out if you were never in his life and its BAD#the guilt that would crush him for not being there for him (even though it wasn't his fault) so he tries to make it up to the kid#by doubling down on affection and praise and trying to let the kid know he's worthy of love#but ultimately he's NOT the same kid; you missed your chance a long time ago and now all you can do is watch as your baby brother#fades into a shadow of pain paranoia and loneliness and everyone keeps saying that the only thing left to do is give up on him entirely#but you CAN'T DO THAT you'd rather die than give up on this kid#but it keeps biting you in the ass because he's NOT YOUR BROTHER and he's hellbent on isolating himself at any cost— even from you#I'M NORMAL ABOUT NINE I SWEAR
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too bad rooster teeths dead atleast they made this guy
idk what possessed me sorry i see a green old man and go insane
also, here's oscar :3
thats all i have 20 hi3/scp wips waiting ...sorry audience
#doodle#sighs#rwby#yeah#ozpin#professor ozpin#oscar pine#what do i even put here#illustration#?#not rlly#not scp#oh by the way#ramadhan mubarak + nyepi to those who celebrate#fanart#teehee#but seriously#i wish all the best to the employees that got laid off#doomed by the narrative? nu uh he doomed the narrative#its not his fault he did irreparable damage to the world as he knows it hes just a girl:333#DONT FOLLOW ME FOR MY MULTIFANDOM STUFF i am almost entirely an scp artist crying emoji
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'thats not his role in the story!' hm i wonder what the point of it is then. hm i wonder what the dead pixel scene means. hm i wonder what wrong organ are trying to say with the context of 'awesome male friendship' and 'corporate hell where the only woman onboard is constantly under ridicule, abused or forcibly forgotten yet is the catalyst' if not this. hm i wonder how curly's physical agony being a direct parallel to anya's mental agony, stripped of voice, agency, just like her, and being forced to watch what happens while not doing jack shit, just like he used to, plays a part in this. i wonder what the moral of him being the final girl says about living with the consequences of your inaction, because of sentimentality, because of status, career and social. hm i wonder whatever the fuck this game was trying to say. hm i wonder what else is on this person's blog Oh Lord there's yaoi penice.
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#sa mention#dont go after this person but i hooooope they rethink. their view of the story.#but god im gonna squeeze lemons in my eyes soon#taking this game away from yall until you unlearn misogyny#ooooh curlys just sooo sweet poor thaaang oh my oh my youre looking sooo far into thissss haaahaaa#its all just a misunderstanding!!!! anya didnt speak clearly enough!!!! noooo its not on my beautiful blue eyed rascal hahaaa#ok look curlys an insane character i love analyzing him and i VERY MUCH dont want people to think im like villanizing the guy#the entire point is that otherwise pretty chill people can fuck up OF THEIR OWN FAULT AND BIAS and then learn. painfully. what not to do.#and by chill i also dont mean holy water pure ok. distinctions.#and id really hate people taking either side of the argument on curlys morality. esp considering his appearance (for both.)#just don't. fucking make baby ass black and white arguments#this game should be behind a childproof lock in the shape of a reading comprehension test abt crime and punishment#im super supportive of people trying to think outside the norm about art like mouthwashing and explaining their own musings#and talking with others and trying to understand how to argument their thoughts which is what the op of the post this was left on was doing#being genuinely curious and open#but brother i draw the line at so merrily denying the main fucking point of the character in the catalyst event#GOOD GOD make this game only accessible to 35+ yo's with no internet access#the contents of their blog were just the cherry on top#unblocking them in hopes they see this ig
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she’s innocent your honour
Ignore my atrocious handwriting
LITTLE DARLIGN IN MY INBOX HELLOOO
#fave#snap chats#PRINCESS ALERT OHHHH lookit her .... never done a wrong thing ever in her entire life#CLEARLY its erik's fault ☝️not my princess's ☝️ erik shoulda invested in sturdier material for his cape 🗣️🗣️🗣️#PLEAASSEE this is so ute thank you so much my friend im obsessed ...... adding this to the fridge collection as we speak ...#i feel like i oughta start tagging art im sent as the fridge colleciton or somethin#i fave a lot of posts and i want these to be easier to find .. they must be lest people miss gems like these .....#thank you again my friend ill be looking at this obsessively while i have lunch (❁´◡`❁)
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taking it hour by hour at this point
#feeling. slightly better. holding on#it’s not entirely the election. but it adds to a growing feeling of things being out of my control#i am an impatient person and i live in the future and the past but never the present. its my biggest fault#but i am trying to breathe and not distasterize over and over again#i skipped class again today. i didn’t have the energy. but im learning its okay sometimes to not overwork myself
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"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?
I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.
And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.
I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.
But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.
Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.
The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.
Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.
Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.
If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.
*: (edit) added for clarity.
**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.
#amc iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv season 2#Loumand#louis du pointe du lac#armand#interview with the vampire#IWTV#Many people are ranting about this but I'm throwing my hat in too#signed someone who went through csa and is close friends with many swers#long rant#noticing spelling errors in this after posting ffff#added note: I'm not saying armand and louis dynamic is without it's flaws or that louis was somehow without his exploitation and faults#while he was a pimp#as a pimp though he certainly wasn't going about it in the same way as what had happened in the brothel or with marius#I more so say that their very actions are of a healthier dynamic than that this is true even if they themselves are not exactly so#all for nuanced and messed up relationships that run everywhere in this show#But I still don't see it as that specific dynamic I wouldn't call it that there's just an amount of that dominence at play#neither want to be tethered to the roles they've been playing previously and they aren't entirely different for it but#are still arriving to this idea of needing something new to define themselves by and something they both want#they're exploring with this companionship that they're still trying to get a feel for#we as an audience might know they never do fully work their shit out and so are doomed but they don't at that point#last thing I guess is that I am not here to start shit it's fictional and not that serious 4 me 2 care enough 2 go after any1#not individually no#These are just my thoughts#I heavily caution using this idea of it being like the pimp 'jumped out' or whatever for reasons above#and its racist implications as others have said more bluntly (I've implied it)
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Remembered Poppy Playtime existed. Binged the entire wikipedia. Colorful cast of animal characters be upon ye.
#its entirely my fault for thinking i could get through a wikipedia binge unscathed#yogart#poppy playtime#smiling critters#poppy playtime catnap#dogday#art#drawing#crafty corn#kickinchicken
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As an attempt at a polite "going forward" comment...
I do not plan to draw for Three Houses or Hopes for a long while. I know a lot of my followers are from the past four years and I appreciate that you followed me at all! But if you are only interested in the art of those characters I wanted to be clear and say you can unfollow me at any point if what i draw no longer aligns with what you want to see.
I might draw for other FEs (like Heroes or 13/14/17) but I do not want to get involved with 3H any more. I do have other interests and across tumblr, twitter (now inactive), and sometimes on discord I've heard enough "I thought it was (FE3H character)".
This is not one person doing it and it is not simply one character being mistaken. I simply want to distance myself from 3H and have unfollowed a few people that reblog art of it because it just leaves a lingering bad taste in my mouth.
Thank you very much for your time and I hope you can find artists who can provide art for topics you like.
#moe talks a lot#not art#again this is NOT the fault of one person its been accumulating for a loooong time#its not even other franchises entirely being labeled as 3h oopsies!#i think one of the most frustrating was a twitter exp where i drew felicia and flora from fates and someone said thought it was marihilda#its just very demotivating and makes me feel like im nothing but a machine for the 3h fans and i want to move past that#i would far prefer no comments or tags than the constant barrage of mistaking a character when i draw for anything else#i know (or rather hope) people who do this are not doing it to be mean! but ! it hurts to put time into something to have it devalued#im sorry to those that really liked my 3h art but i am extremely burnt out on some comments and being asked to justify my doodles#i just want to draw stupid things and it got to the point i had to explain my stupid things#which defeated the stress relief of it being stupid#half of the asks i never replied to were like this so again it is NOT just one person doing this ! its just finally added up#to me needing to be open and clear#i tried to be concise in the main post but it still looks really wordy#opened the ask box again temporarily but not open to anons so we will see how this goes
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come on guys, the criticism that there aren't any girl characters in sonic 3 is not.. a criticism of them not introducing them in THIS movie. This is the third movie. There was a TV show. The SCU could've introduced a single female character earlier, but they didn't. They took the time to develop a cop, they spent the time talking about Sonic's backstory that's only ever used so the movie has one minute of character being sad. The Knuckles show was an empty void to be filled with literally anything, and they still didn't do it. There was time, the only female character is Maddie, who barely does anything because the plot focuses on her cop boyfriend. It's completely valid to criticize this and saying "they can't introduce another character in sonic 3 because there's other things to do" literally does nothing. Why would anyone defend a huge movie franchise having no female characters after all this time
#the GAMES in the 90S were doing better by the point guys#people are complaining about sonic 3 now because everything else has failed but its not this movie's fault it's the fault of the entire scu#and the way it was written#somehow sonic adventure 2 could handle introducing rouge. and it was fine#the plot of the game already has room for another character#this is also like#ignoring literally any movie in existence that introduces an entire cast of characters because it's something new#sonic 3#idk if this is well written its just my frustrations uh well
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can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.
most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.
#this is not about the isr*el thing even tho thats obviously a huge issue rn#its just a pattern ive observed online#im not saying you have to be kind to people who oppress you dont twist my words#but if youre trying to support any cause and you think calling people names is going to help#youre a fucking idiot lol#people call themelves activists and pro-X cause because they called their opposition dirty c*nts online#how the hell is that meant to help anyone? theyre just going to retreat into their propaganda chambers because you proved what the leaders#of those spaces have been telling them#you can obvs block people if you dont want to deal w them but thats a neutral action. sending abuse harms ur cause.#text#like educating ignorant people is hard work! yeah! its also the entire fucking point of activisim#and if you think its too much effort then just stop pretending you give a shit tbh#like my parents managed to change our neighbour's very xenophobic stance on migrants with a calm conversation#some people will listen and some wont and shes not exactly going out to protests for migrants rights but shes not hostile anymore#and a lot of yall think that isnt good enough but let me tell you it IS good because these things take time!#unlearning things is MUCH harder than learning them in the first place and a lot of people grew up in environments that taught them#very discriminatory and conservative views and its actually not their fault. and its hard to educate yourself differently on something you#have no idea is not true. where do you start w that?
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this can be either hilarious or heartbreaking depending on how you take it. i'll admit i was giggling the whole time as i made it though, sorry baldie
#but thats bc baldie's hell of his own making amuses me#i love pep but like you could just call him. at this point.#but no. he'd rather longingly watch from far away and cry every time scaloni and leo hug.#like this isn't a figo situation where its genuinely tragic and not his fault at all. like this is a situation he#entirely created and now COULD fix but he won't. he just talks about leo every occasion he gets and Yearns#instead of picking up that damn phone#he mentions messi every single interview and says 'i need to congratulate him for his copa win!' and then when#people ask him 'so did you congratulate him then?' afterwards hes like '...no'#like ohhhh my godddddd#anyway#messi#pep guardiola#scaloni#futbol#video#hermy posts#olivia rodrigo
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Mind Over Matter
I think it's fucked up that all of the pupils lose their body and/or mind somehow because of Magnificus and his trials. Most of them literally, some metaphorically.
#lonely wizard#pike mage#goobert#james cobb#inscryption#my art#amber lost her body but kept her mind#goobert lost his form and is losing his cool#wiz lost their sense of self in its entirety#james lost both his body and mind#maybe that last one isn't entirely mags's fault but if he didn't throw him away then he wouldn't have#they're all represented by mostly their head (or what's left) and I think that's interesting
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