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yourfavoritewriter69 · 1 year ago

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Unhealthy Obsession

a/n hi everyone I think this chapter will be more intriguing than the first one but other than that I hope you enjoy chapter two also again i apologize there are any grammar mistakes lmaoo okayyy enjoyyyyy :)

part one

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Tw: sexual content, kissing

and adult language if there is anything else lemme know :))

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Part two: I need you

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It was the next morning you had gotten all ready for your first day at a new school. You received a text from Kirby saying she was five minutes away. You looked in the mirror once more before grabbing your bag, phone, and keys and heading out the door your aunt Luna said

“have a wonderful day at school honey text me if you need any” she smiles at you “Thank you Luna I love you” she replies “I love you too sweetheart also don't worry ill lock it behind you” She gestures to the door.

You walked outside and see Kirby sitting in her car waiting for you. You walk over and get in the car smiling at Kirby. “hi y/n how are you? are you ready for your first day?” she says in an enthusiastic tone. You reply “I'm ready just very nervous” You get in the car and buckle your seat belt. “I completely get that but I've got you Don't worry I’ll introduce you to some of my friends and you can sit with me at lunch if you would like” You smiled and just processed what she said for a second hoping she would introduce you to Charlie.

You apologize for getting lost in thought and say “Thank you Kirby it's nice to know I'm not alone I think today is gonna go well hopefully” You guys just made small talk the rest of the ride. Once you got there you and Kirby were a little early so there weren't too many people she showed you to the office so you could pick up your schedule and while she was walking you to your first-period class you were reading the paper while walking and you bump into someone and drop your paper and phone.

You bent down to grab your stuff and before you, you even have time to be upset you hear a voice say “Oh my god I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where I was going” You look up to see a curly-haired boy with big blue eyes looking at you apologetically.

You smiled and reassured him it was okay. Kirby looked at Charlie and told him to watch where he was going and not to freakin take you out literally within the first few minutes of you being here. You look at Kirby and then Charlie almost waiting for an introduction. Kirby caught on and said “Oh yeah my bad this is Y/n she just moved back to Woodsboro” She smiled “and y/n this is charlie walker you know the boy we were talking about yesterday”

You felt your cheeks start to get hot and turned pink in embarrassment. Charlie speaks up and reaches his hand out “It's good to meet you y/n” You reached your hand out to shake his and say “It's good to meet you, Charlie”.

“so what class do you have a first period” “Biology how about you?” “omg me too what room number?” you responded “Uhh room 609” Kirby butted in “Hey y/n I gotta get to my first period I’ll see you at lunch okay? and charlie why don't u offer to walk her to class him?” she said it in a kinda bitchy smart ass way but it made u laugh. he said “well y/n can I walk you to class” he gave a nervous smile “I would like that thank you charlie”

He showed you to room 609. You guys walk in to only see the teacher sitting at his desk he looks up and gives you a friendly smile “You must new your y/n, right?” you said yes. And told him it was good to meet him.

You asked if there was any schoolwork you had to catch up on since it was your first day and everything and it was the middle of the semester “No I don’t think there’s anything that you have to do we got you covered and if it’s all right with you, I’m gonna make charlie you are the partner for this rest of semester” you smiled “that would be great” you look over and make eye contact with charlie. You both smiled.

The rest of the day flew by at lunch you sat with Kirby and a girl named Jill. It was now the last period of the day and Kirby and Charlie both had the same class it was English.

You were sitting in the back of the class with both Kirby and Charlie, whispering to each other giggling, but try not to cost too much of a scene by the end of the class you and Kirby couldn’t stop laughing you almost pissed her pants the bell rang. You grabbed your stuff instead up.

Kirby offered to walk you out when Charlie talk to you on the shoulder and said “Would you wanna go to the cinema club meeting you don’t have to join the club, but what do you wanna at least go to one to see if you’d like it?” you smiled at him you wanted too but you were so tired and wanted to go home you responded to him.

“I would love to Charlie but I really wanna go home” his face turned to disappointment and he said “Oh okay it's okay I understand maybe another day” You felt kinda bad “Okay maybe I can go what time does it end and ill go under one condition..”

“And what is that?” he said curiously “You have to drive me home after” He agreed and you guys started walking to the cinema club. Your hands brushed together while walking and he nervously pulled his hand away. you look at him and admire his beautiful face thinking how cute he is when he is nervous.

He looks over and down at you “What?” he asks “Nothing you just have really beautiful eyes” You smile while he starts to blush “T-thank you y/n” he stuttered because you made him all flustered You guys made it to the classroom and walked in to only see his best friend Robbie. Charlie had told you a little bit about him and the weird glasses he wore that had a camera live-streaming everything. Robbie looked over smiled and said “My omg you must be y/n im so happy you could make it”

oh my god. Robbie knew who you were and he was glad you made it bro. That means Charlie has been talking about you. “oh yeah of course I'm glad I was able to come too Charlie invited me” you say with a smile. you look over at Charlie who is lightly blushing and you guys make eye contact in that moment you wanted to kiss him you looked at his lips and then back up to his eyes. it was that feeling you felt when you first saw him. it felt like the stop had slowed. As soon as you felt as if the moment was over Charlie cleared his throat.

The rest of the meeting went go you just talked about the stab movies and all their theories now. as Charlie had promised before he was gonna give you a ride home. You and Charlie walked out of the school side by side. You guys made it to his car and with your back to the car and him reaching to grab the handle of the door he almost had you pinned there.

your heart rate speed up as did your breathing. you were so close to him that he looked and your lips and at that moment you needed him. He moved closer to you causing your breath to hitch you leaned in and he did the same before your lips touched he asked if he could kiss you. “yes Charlie please I need you”

Not a second later he kissed you and the kiss got more intense your breathing was heavy and he pulled away and said “I need to take you home” You whined pleading with him to kiss you again because you didn't want this moment to end.

#rory culkin #charlie walker #i need him #long hair boys #charlie walker fanfic #charlie walker smut #husband #on my knees rn #rory culkin is so fine #rory is so fine #unhealthy obsession #y/n x charlie walker

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blindingdutchy · 4 years ago

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lamentation | TWO

{peter parker x fem!reader AU}

based on All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

SERIES MASTERLIST

word count: 3,495

warnings: depression, anxiety, mental illness! angst, fluff if you squint really hard

18+!!! minors stay away

Peter Parker was relentless, insufferable, and extremely annoying. It all started the morning after what you'd decided to call The Encounter, and it had been unending ever since. Nearly a week had passed since that fateful night, and you'd yet to see a day at school where Peter didn't try his hardest to get under your skin.

On Monday he sat next to you in Calculus, and no matter how blatantly you ignored him for the entire class, he continued to whisper facts about himself and stupid little jokes to you. You wished you could say you hadn't listened, but ever since that morning you'd been unable to forget that his favorite color was red, his Aunt packed him a lunch every day that he threw away because she couldn't cook, and his middle name was Benjamin. Why he thought you needed or even wanted to know such things you weren't sure, but even more befuddling was the fact that you couldn't un-learn them.

When Tuesday rolled around he stepped it up a notch, much to your dismay. He sat with you during Calculus and insisted on jogging with you during gym class, feigning that he was out of breath despite your slow pace and the fact that you were certain he could run for miles without getting winded. He told you more jokes then, too. One of which you begrudgingly found yourself exhaling a little harder over whenever it popped into your head; what did one stranger say to the other? Nothing. They didn't know each other.

Wednesday was the worst, because Peter made a scene. You came into calculus late and the teacher scolded you in front of the class, at which point you got flustered and tripped over your untied shoe laces. Your books spilled to the floor and you tumbled to your knees in front of everyone, and the whole class laughed. But Peter? Peter just had to be the hero, and your blood boiled at his actions.

He'd dramatically swept all his books off of his desk, feigning surprise at the loud clatter as if he hadn't done it intentionally. When the teacher scolded him, too, he just apologized and made a show of picking up each of his things one by one. "Why did you do that?" you'd hissed as you sat down, scowling at the brown-eyed boy who just blinked at you innocently.

"Do what?"

He'd ran with you in gym class again, and he'd even followed you to your locker afterwards. In all the years you'd known of Peter, you had never known him to be much of a talker. In fact, he seemed like a rather shy boy who didn't like to branch out much. With you, though, that was far from the case. Silence was a pipe dream with him around.

On Thursday he sat next to you in Calculus, ran with you in gym, walked you to your locker, and went so far as to sit with you at lunch. You'd put your earbuds in and blasted music as loud as you could without hurting yourself too much, but every time you looked up you could see he was still talking. Part of you wondered why he was being so relentless, but you didn't want to ask. If you asked he would think you cared, and you didn't. You didn't care at all, and the sooner he figured that out, the sooner he would leave you alone.

Or, at least you hoped so. As you walked into school on Friday morning, you groaned at the sight of Peter waiting patiently beside your locker. "What do you want, Parker?" you gritted out, glaring at him as you twisted the dial to enter your combination.

He grinned in spite of your glare, "I'm walking you to Calculus today, obviously. How was your night, (Y/N)? Do anything fun?"

"What part of I don't need friends did you not understand?" you demanded, giving him a stale look as you swung the metal door open with a clang. Peter blinked at you, clearly not used to you actually speaking back to him, and further uncomfortable with your hostility. What did he expect? Did he expect for you to suddenly be happy? To not be completely fucked up anymore just because he started talking to you?

He replaced his lazy smile and shrugged, retorting, "You know my secret and I know yours. That makes us friends."

You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to shout, yell, stomp your feet, and throw a tantrum fit for a child. Friends were not something you wanted or needed, and you certainly didn't want to be friends with Peter Parker. You didn't want to be friends with someone just because they were worried you'd spill their dirty little secret, or because they pitied the girl who wanted to die.

The black hole in your chest was worse than ever that day, and it sucked away all the fight you had in you. So, with a roll of your eyes, you stuffed your earbuds in your ears and tuned him out once more. Just like he had at lunch, Peter continued to ramble even though he knew you weren't listening, and you pretended you didn't see his lips moving at the speed of light.

For once, at the very least, he at least shut up in class. You were thankful for the break from his incessant chatter, the endless monologue you couldn't escape from when you were stuck in a desk while Mr. Tinley droned on and on. Calculus was far from interesting, but you found yourself beyond relieved to finally be able to pay any sort of attention to the lesson.

Friday was steadily continuing along the same path every other day had since The Encounter. Peter thankfully parted ways with you after Calculus, but quickly rejoined you two classes later in Gym. From Gym he was glued to your side through lunch until you escaped to your Spanish class, which you thankfully didn't share with him, but the solitude was short lived. Your last class of the day was one you also shared with Peter, and prior to that day he had remained seated with his friends.

That day, though, he plopped down in the seat beside you with a cheerful smile. "Ready for our new project?" he asked, skipping the greeting he knew you wouldn't return.

"Huh?" you asked, blinking at him in bewilderment. New project? Our? What was he talking about?

Peter beamed back at you, clearly pleased that you hadn't snapped at him for once. "Our new project! Didn't you see the list on the door? We're partners." he explained, and you stiffened.

It was too big of a coincidence to truly be happenstance. All week Peter had been pestering you, perpetually following you around and talking your ear off, and now he just happened to be assigned as your partner for the final Speech project? He did something. That was the only logical conclusion.

Your eyes narrowed as you stared at him with as much intensity as you could muster. "Peter, what did you do?" you growled.

Peter's eyes widened at your tone, and he shifted in his seat nervously with a sheepish smile. "What do you mean?" he questioned coyly, and you scowled at him fiercely. "I didn't do anything, (Y/N)."

"Bullshit." you snapped, "I find it hard to believe that we just happened to be assigned partners after how obsessively you've been harassing me all week."

He gaped at you, "Harassed? What?" he stammered, "(Y/N), let's calm down--I haven't... I haven't been harassing you. I just want you to know I really do want to be your friend."

You scoffed at his excuse, "Shut up, Peter. Just leave me alone! I don't want to be your friend, okay? My lips are sealed. I won't tell anyone your secret, just leave me alone!"

With one finally glare, you lurched out of your seat and stomped to one far away from the still aghast boy. As you settled into your new seat, ignoring the strange looks from your classmates who witnessed your outburst, you wrinkled your nose and picked at your nails angrily. As much as you were angry with Peter, you were also angry with yourself.

You were angry that he'd stopped you, and you'd let him. You were angry at the world for letting your sister die. You were angry at your sister for saving you when she should have saved herself. Most of all, though, you were angry with yourself for how you were acting. Even though she wasn't there, you could almost hear your sister scolding you for how you'd treated Peter.

She always was the levelheaded, rational sister. The good sister. The better sister. She would have been ashamed of how you'd been ignoring Peter, ranting to you, "He's just trying to be there for you, idiot. Stop being such a jerk and let him help you. You need to stop being so stubborn..."

You listened eagerly to Ms. Lovell's lesson and instruction for the new project. It wasn't because you were genuinely interested, because you weren't, but it was something to distract you. It was something to drown out the voice of your sister that was echoing through your skull, rattling you to your core as you tried to keep your emotions at bay.

This was the hardest part of losing your sister. She'd been so close to you, so important to you, it was impossible to not think of her in every moment of every day. It was impossible not to think of what she'd have done, instead of what you had done. It was impossible not to think of what she'd have thought of your actions, what she'd have said to you, of what she'd have wanted you to do.

She had been your voice of reason, your confidant, your role model. She'd always been so much better than you, someone you aspired to be like, and now that she was gone the comparisons were so much heavier on your head. Why couldn't it have been you instead of her? She would never have had such a hard time like you were.

For instance, she wouldn't have been so bitter. She wouldn't have been so filled with rage, hatred, or despair. She wouldn't have blamed anyone, not even herself, and she wouldn't have hated the people who had killed you. She always did love a good superhero, and even if you'd have died at the hands of the Avengers like she had, she would have found a reason to still have faith in them. She would have forgiven them.

This project was going to be a tough one, and not just because you were going to have to work with Peter Parker. "This is going to be a persuasive speech, guys, so you're able to pick your stance freely so long as it pertains to the Avengers. For example, you could persuade us that they're bad, if that's how you feel." Ms. Lovell explained, "Just be prepared to face debate from the class. Each group has to face five full minutes of argument from the class and be able to firmly debate their stance."

A project in which you'd have to argue your stance pertaining to the superheroes that had killed your sister, and you were working with Peter-Spiderman-Parker. Great, you thought to yourself, this was going to be a nightmare. There was no way the two of you would agree on what stance to persuade; you hated superheroes, and he was one, for God's sake.

You glanced over at Peter, only to catch him already staring at you. The pair of you quickly looked away from each other, but you noticed the way his cheeks flared red in embarrassment. How long had he been watching you? Was he dreading the project now as much as you were?

He probably didn't know how you felt about the Avengers. Not many people really cared enough to read about what had happened to your sister, and you weren't exactly in the right state of mind to be out protesting the many shortcomings of the superheroes. You wondered, though, how he would react when he found out.

Lying was an option, but there was no way you'd be able to debate in favor of the Avengers without breaking. Could you debate against them without losing it either, though? You weren't entirely sure. It was a sore subject and you were certainly not looking forward to having to dedicate your time to speaking about them.

Peter lingered by his seat after class was dismissed, staring at you awkwardly as he told his friends he would catch up with them later. You could see the strange, weary looks they shot you, but you chose to ignore them. Everyone looked at you a little funny ever since the incident, and you'd long ago grown accustomed to it. This time, though, you couldn't help but think they were looking at you strangely for a reason other than your sister.

You had two options. You could suck it up and talk to Peter right then, or you could continue to ignore him until you were forced to do the project. Catching his warm brown eyes as he timidly watched you, you sighed. It was now or never; maybe if you were nicer he'd back off a little with the obsessive tendencies.

"So," you drawled, approaching him shyly, "how are we gonna do this?"

This was what she would have wanted you to do; that's what you chanted in your head as you forced yourself to at least seem somewhat approachable. "Uh, we could--we could meet up tomorrow? You could come to my apartment." he stuttered, scratching his neck awkwardly and fiddling with his backpack.

He radiated nervous energy, and the black hole inside of you consumed it greedily. You twiddled your thumbs just as nervously as you replied, "Do you, um, do you mind coming to my house instead? My parents are--they're a little weird about me going out because of... yeah."

God, his stutter was rubbing off on you, and you cringed at the way you stumbled over your words like a fool. It had been such a long time since you'd invited anyone to your house, let alone talked to anyone besides your parents and your therapist, and it was stressing you out. The exhaustion of the day was wearing you down rapidly, and having to socialize was making it worse.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course!" he spluttered, "Uh, could I get your number? So I can, like, text you when I'm coming?"

You hoped he didn't notice how much your fingers were shaking as you took his phone, struggling to type in your number as you mistyped multiple times. Once you'd saved your contact into his phone, you sent yourself a text so that you'd have his number too. You didn't exactly answer unknown numbers anymore, though if you were honest, you often didn't answer people you knew either. That was what drove your friends away.

Peter shot you a shy smile as you handed his phone back, and he asked, "Do you want to get started tonight, maybe? I could call you."

Biting your cheek, you paled. Tonight? You were exhausted, and the thought of having to talk for any longer made you nauseous. "No offense, Peter, but I... I really just need a break. This week has been a lot." you mumbled, avoiding his eyes as you stared at your feet.

"Oh, yeah, totally." he acquiesced, "I'll, uh, I'll see you tomorrow."

You didn't reply, only giving him a tight lipped smile that probably looked more like a grimace as you quickly walked away. Once you were out of his sight, your entire body drooped and the numbness steadily washed over you. It had been the longest day, and you were once again grateful for the escape from the overwhelming emotions.

Ever since she died, it was as if all your emotions were on overdrive. There were the many constant ones, like the guilt, shame, and anguish over her death. Along with those were more fleeting ones, like anger, disgust, and fear. Peter, though, he brought about a whole slew of new and equally as intense feelings that drained you.

He made you feel things like anxiety, apprehension, and hope. There was anxiety both due to his wild behavior in regards to you, but also because you feared he might tell people what he'd seen. The apprehension was due to your suspicion he was only so interested because you knew his secret, and was just as fearful that you would tell. But the hope, the stupid anticipation, was the worst.

It was the worst because a stupid part of you hoped he was genuine. You wanted him to really want to be your friend with no ulterior motives because, no matter how much you denied it, you really did need a friend. You wanted a friend. You wanted to let someone in.

You weren't buying it, though, because you were certain you couldn't handle the heartbreak of being wrong about his intentions and discovering he really did only care about his secret. You weren't going to let him hurt you, and if you had to shut yourself off from the world and hurt yourself to prevent it, then so be it. It was easier that way.

Peter Parker: hey i know you said you didn't want to start tonight but that doesn't mean we can't get to know each other

Peter Parker: so if you want, lets play 20 questions! i'll start. what's your favorite movie?

The typing cursor blinked at you tauntingly as you laid on your bed, huddled under the blankets with your thumbs hovering over the keys. That stupid part of you that wanted to make your sister proud begged you to go along with it, to let him be a friend, but you were terrified. You were terrified of the way you actually opened the text and went to reply without hesitation, something you hadn't done since before the incident. You were terrified of the way you wanted to reply, but the only thing that gave you pause was the fact that you didn't have an answer.

Movies weren't something you'd given much thought to in awhile. You knew all of your sister's favorite movies by heart, but your favorite movie? It was as if your brain opened an empty drawer. You didn't know what your favorite movie was.

You: i don't know

Peter Parker: what do you mean you don't know

Peter Parker: do you not like movies?!

You: i just don't know okay

You: i can't remember the last time i watched a movie.

That was a lie. You very well could remember the last time you'd watched a movie, and that was because it was with her. The weekend before she'd died, your sister had dragged you to the theater to watch some cheesy romance film she'd been gushing about for weeks. It was awful, but it was so utterly her that you'd weirdly enjoyed it. You enjoyed it because it made her happy.

Peter Parker: that's crazy wow

Peter Parker: no offense sorry

Peter Parker: it's your turn to ask

You: what's your favorite movie

Peter Parker: star wars but you can't ask the same question!! try again

You: fine

You: what's your favorite food?

Was talking to boys always this hard? You couldn't remember the last time you'd had to get to know someone, but you didn't think it had ever been so nerve wracking. Was something wrong with you? Was everything destined to be this hard now that she was gone?

Peter Parker: anything from Delmar's

Peter Parker: best sandwiches in Queens

Peter Parker: since you got a double and you technically didn't answer my first question, i'm asking you the same but also what's your happiest memory

Everything was always going to be hard. Reading his response, your lungs deflated in your chest and the numbness gave way to the all too familiar sensation of despair. She'd always loved Delmar's, insisting on getting the same sandwich from there every single Friday after school, and it had been your thing.

Would there ever be anything that didn't remind you of her? Remind you of the hole punched in your life where she used to be? It was hard enough dealing with the empty space in your room where her bed used to be, the empty chair at the dinner table where she'd used to sit, all the empty spaces she'd used to fill up. But the little things--the little memories of things she'd used to love--those hurt so much more.

You: i have to go

You: i forgot i'm busy tomorrow so we can't start the project

You: i'm sorry

SERIES TAG-LIST {ask to be added}:

@msmimimerton

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mythiccheroacademia · 5 years ago

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Hey I love you hc so far I was wondering if you could do one if s/n was about to get in a fight with this girl but Aizawa canceled there quirks but that didn’t stop s/n from putting her hand on her and beating her ass. How would Bakugou,Todoroki,Izuku, and Shinsou react to that

that’s so sweet of you, honey bunny! thank you sm for this ask! ive been itching to write something spicy lmao. i hope you like this!

A/N: i hope you don’t mind, but this s/n will be female-identifying just because if they’re going to get physical (and it’s not for hero training), i’d rather it be between two girls. i personally am not comfortable with the idea of a man putting his hands on a woman over something that’s not life or death.

Warnings: lots of cursing and a few punches

PSA: I don’t condone violence! Especially between women. I think us girls need to stick together. However, if someone is coming at you disrespectfully, they need to get checked and that's on period. Just try to use your words rather than your hands hehe

Before I forget, Happy 2020 everyone 💜

Bakugo Katsuki:

y’all know this man is the king of using his fist first and words later

you’re pretty sweet and laid-back and you mind your own business

anyways, there was this girl didn’t like you for some reason

all she did was gossip and talk shit about you

bakugo told you he’d help you jump her but you were trying to the bigger person and told him you’d talk it out

you and the girl met during lunchtime, you took Mina to help mediate

you politely confronted her

she denied it and called you crazy

you pulled out the receipts

her “friends” sent you all the screenshots

“why are you so obsessed with me?” you ask

“who would be obsessed with an ugly bitch like you?”

“sis, who you callin’ a bitch?”

now Mina wants you to throw hands

like why is she calling YOU a bitch when she’s the one that’s talking shit and you don’t even know her???

things start to escalate and you both are screaming at one another and attracting the attention of your friends

she uses her quirk on you and everyone gasps

like, what the hell?

Aizawa immediately uses his scarf and cancels your quirks and orders both of you to the office

but you’re seeing red at this point

“you’re lucky i’m being held back bc i’m not afraid to pull up on a bitch, and that’s on period”

“shut the fuck up you dirty looking rat”

you don’t know if Aizawa loosened his wrappings or not, but you were able to get free and you went in

Mina and Bakugo cheer

the other girl got suspended

you got two days under house arrest, but you thought it was worth it

bakugo was proud and wouldn’t stop bragging about it

“tch. of course my girl beat her ass. she can check that, dumb bit--”

you hit his head, “boys aren’t allowed to call girls bitches, idiot. but thank you baby”

Todoroki Shoto:

you dated some guy from another school who cheated on you with some girl

you were pretty torn up about it

you broke up with him without a second thought and found someone much better :)

you didn’t know the girl or care about her, so you just forgot about her*ladies, remember to check your bf first before the other woman. she’s not in a relationship with you, he is*

but for some reason, she wanted to torment you

you two went to U.A. but were in different classes

you didn’t see her much, but when you did, she’d make sly comments

it got on your nerves, but you just let it go

shoto told you she wasn’t worth the energy

but then she saw you and todoroki at your locker and said,

“probably won’t be long until I fuck her boyfriend again,” she giggled to her friends

you slammed the locker shut, that was the last straw

“if you have something to say, say it to my face”

“i think you heard what i said, bitch”

“what’s your problem with me?”

“you think you’re all that bc you date the hottest guys in school, but they only want you bc you’re a skank”

shoto looks the girl dead in the eye and says, “then what does that make you?”

the girl gets so angry

but at you???, and uses her quirk on you

shoto pulls you out of the way

aizawa comes out of nowhere and cancels all three of your quirks

it’s meant to calm you down, but the girl is trying to go at you

“you’re nothing more than a $5 prostitute and once everyone passes you around like the whore you are, i hope you get an STD and die”

yeah, all bets were off after that

even aizawa was like 😧

shoto put your hair up for you

“fuck her up y/n”

quirk or no quirk, you beat that ass

Midoriya Izuku

*y’all are in your second-year*

izuku is weak for strong-willed women

literally went 😍🤤 when you told him he should ask you out

you spend a lot of time with each other and he knows about the situation with your (equally as strong-willed) ex-best friend

your ex-friend started to spread disgusting rumors about your little sister (who also goes to U.A as a first-year) just because it got out that her crush liked your sister

izuku, trying to be your hero™, thought y’all should talk it out so he brought both of you to the lunch table

bless his heart but this boi don’t know

you both sat in silence before you glared at your boyfriend

“why am i in front of this girl?”

izuku: 😯

“don’t address me like i’m some child” she says

“then stop talking about my sister like some little ass girl, bitch”

“shut the fuck up, bitch! ain’t nobody care about your ugly ass sister!”

“yo izuku, why the fuck did you place me in front of this low down dirty bitch”

izuku again: 😮

he immensely regretted this

izuku tries to calm you two down, but things just get worse

suddenly there are mentions of area codes and he didn't quite understand how they correlated to how well people fight, but he didn't have enough time to think about it

he’s trying to hold you back now

someone called aizawa over because you two started using your quirks

your sister is begging you to chill out but you’re too furious to listen

aizawa cancels your quirks before things go too far

izuku got so scared because he knows the punishment for fighting and he would hate it if you got expelled because of his dumb idea at peacekeeping

“y/n, please calm down! it’s not worth it”

even with your quirks gone, you two are rolling around the ground, punching, scratching, and screaming awful things at each other

yells at bakugo for cheering you on

Hitoshi Shinsou:

you know this man is shady af

you two make snarky comments to each other all the time

he loves the way you hold your head up high

he just loves your confidence, it was one of the things that made you so attractive to him

so it hurts him when you started being insecure and timid

he asks you what was going on, but you just say you’re tired

but after a while, you breakdown to him about some girl that’s been bullying you

he knows how it feels to be demonized, so he comforts you, and offers ways to defend yourself against the bullying

very mature™️, very adult™️

it seems to work for a little bit, but then it gets worse

her words start getting to you and, instead of being sad, you start getting angry

but its that really calm type of angry

shinsou defends you a lot, but one day you tell him it’s okay

then you tell the girl, “next time i see you, it’s on sight baby girl”

it was in a sickly sweet tone that sent shivers down everyone’s spine

on the lowest of keys, it turned shinso on

he’s like: 🥰😏

you and your bully were then paired up for combat training

you two fight each other and you’re going at her with everything you’ve got

shinsou is at the side, cheering you on

he thinks you look hot when you’re angry

also, he’s so ready to see you destroy that girl

for educational purposes

it’s obvious that you two are fighting with ill-intentions and aizawa is forced to cancel your quirks

she doesn’t stop running her mouth though

“you deserved to be picked on”

“oh word?”

“did i stutter?

there was a moment of intense silence as you stared at her

then shinsou yells, “snatch that hoe, y/n!”

and you did just that

you don’t know what happened to her

but you got detention, but your boyfriend gets it too for instigating

so both of you just eat sweets and gossip to each other

#mha #bnha #bnha scenarios #bnha headcanons #bnha x reader #bakugou x reader #midoryia x reader #hitoshi shinso x reader #todoroki x reader #mha x black reader #bnha x black reader #bnha x poc!reader #bnha ask #mha ask

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imagine-loki · 4 years ago

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Hiding In Plain Sight

TITLE: Hiding in Plain Sight

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 10

AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE:Imagine coming from a line of nobility or royalty and being in an arranged marriage with Loki in an attempt to strengthen your kingdom / alliance with Asgard. You’re not entirely on board with the idea but figured that the best you could do was to get to know your fiancé. You form an agreement with Frigga for you to pose as Loki’s personal servant for a few months so you can get to know who Loki really is – beyond the veil of his responsibility to the Asgardian throne, behind all the masks he wears when facing the public, to really know who Loki is behind closed doors as you slowly fall for each other.How long will you keep up the ruse with the God of Lies? RATING: General Audience

NOTE - I finally got my ass in gear and finished something, thank Loki.

Raven gave him a withering look. “Again with the ‘she’ and ‘her’. You are going out of your way to be insulting at this stage.” “But you are Raven? Not ‘Breanna’?” Loki demanded.

“My grandmother called me Breanna. It’s one and the same.” She dismissed.

“You hid yourself as a maid?”

“I did.” “Why?” “I heard so many stories about you, so incredibly conflicting, I wanted to see for myself.” “So you pretended to be a maid? You…” Loki’s eyes widened. “You scrubbed my toilet.” He grimaced at that thought.

“In fairness, whatever else was ever said about you, your hygiene is impeccable.”

“Why?” “I told you.” “But why?”

“I learnt you are intelligent and can understand many languages and are very much able to comprehend the spoken word so I don’t think I need to repeat myself again. I know it is something you also dislike. You told me that the first day I spoke to you.” She walked around a little.

Loki studied her for a moment. Watching how she walked, so obviously well-bred and the manner in which she was speaking showing a significant education. He shook his head slightly as he spoke. “My brother said time and again that the Elven princess was raised in a manner that was meek and subservient. You have been insubordinate since the day you walked in here.”

“How can I be insubordinate to you, we are of equal standing. The extra children of the ruling monarch, merely existing in the slight offchance our older siblings do not make it to taking the throne.” She challenged.

“I think your father would rather a republic than have you on the throne.” Loki pointed out, his tone half of anger, half merely stating fact.

“I think he would too but the law is that I can take it regardless of my gender, I just need all four of my brothers to not get on it and have heirs.” She eyed him with intrigue, watching the glut of emotions swirling around in his face. Anger seemed to be winning as the most notable one. “I suggest airing your anger now. It will make this easier in the long run.”

“Was my mother in on this all along?” “Yes. I wrote to her to get her words on your character. Sadly, she gave the view of a biased and loving mother. So, convinced I would see your personality for myself in other ways by being your maid, she suggested I take Tatianna’s place for a few weeks. I can see you have a good rapport with her, so I can see why she would think that.”

Loki felt his anger rise at his mother’s involvement. “My brother, my father?”

“For the Allfather to know anything, he would have had to have come to your rooms whilst I was here, he never did, ergo, he never knew anything of it. Thor was not part of the plan. What I had not anticipated was that he recalled the few occasions that he met me in passing while talking to my brothers over the centuries, especially in Vanaheim. He confronted me, wanting to know why I was playing such games. He did not agree with it but the Allmother and I convinced him to remain silent.”

Loki’s lip curled in anger at his brother knowing such things but also knowing that he had the excuse of being told to say nothing. Not that it would save him from a few choice words and more than a few spells and hard blows when Loki would be able to inflict such on him again. “You spied on me, and you thought it wise?” He scoffed in disgust. “How did you envisage this little reveal going? Pray, do tell.” “I suppose it’s obvious that I had not thought through that fully. I was hoping the Aesir I was meeting was actually a nice being so I would at least feel guilty.”

Loki’s brow rose at that. “You have the audacity to say such things with all your deceit.”

“You literally are nicknamed the God of Lies, tricks and mischief, I would have thought you would have been impressed if nothing else.” “I am anything but.” He became irate at her answers. “You have no right to speak to me like this, you deceitful wench.” He walked to the bedroom door and opened it. “Get out.”

Raven felt hurt but understood fully and had expected him to react in such a manner, sighing, she walked to the door. “Well, it’s done now anyway.”

“What?” Loki had no inkling as to what she was referring to. “Getting this conflict out of the way. I was getting bothered waiting for it.” She spoke as she walked through the door.

“You anticipated this, really?” He did not believe her.

“I anticipated this, at best. I thought you would fly into a rage and throw me out at worst but then again, I thought you had not arrived for lunch because you had realised who I was and were giving me the very much expected silent treatment. Something I would wager all the ore on Alfheim I am going to be receiving from this point forth. I did not think it would last this long.” “What would last this long?” “This conversation. It lasted far longer than I had expected.” She shrugged as she walked to the door.

“Did you really learn to be a maid for this?” “I hardly knew how to be one before. I had to at least pretend to know what I was doing.” “You were so desperate to try and make a fool of me?” “It was never about making a fool of you, Loki. I told you, I wanted to know what to expect here. I tried to find out by other means but to no avail. Unlike you, I had to move to another realm and live with a man I had not met in almost seven hundred years outside of the briefest of moments.” “So you thought the way to get to know me was to scrub my toilet, that is your thinking of me? That is what you considered in getting to know me? I honestly expected you to have little self-respect with how you were raised, what with it being a misogynistic realm but you really do not have any self-worth with how you acted.” He walked over to the main door of his rooms to open it.

“Well, when your muscles ached and you wanted them relieved and when I neatened your belongings, you did not complain and don’t you ever look down at those who clean your toilet. You would not last five minutes in the real realm without your seidr, you pretentious prick.”

Irate at her venomous words, Loki walked forward towards her but stopped suddenly when she flinched as though expecting to be struck. As much as he wanted to say something as vitriolic back, he refrained. “Your little stunt was nothing more than pathetic and ridiculous and your name calling even more so, but it clearly was futile because if your observations were even the slightest bit accurate, you would know I would never lay a hand on you.”

“I knew that. If anyone will bear any physical brunt of this, it will be Thor.”

Loki had to admit, she did learn something in all of this with that comment. “Yet, you flinched as though expecting me to strike you?” “I am not a warrior, I have not learnt how to not flinch when someone rushes forward. But I know you would not. If you had been a risk to me, I would never have come here alone.” She ensured to look him in the eye as she spoke to show her sincerity.

Loki had to admit, that was a valid excuse and indeed statement regarding her safety. “Good, at least you grasped that much in this.” He opened the door fully and indicated outside.

“I guess the deceitful wench will leave the pretentious prick to his day, then.” She walked towards the door.

“Norns but you have to have the last word, don’t you?” Loki pushed the door shut again with some force. “You’re supposed to be silent.” “You literally said one of the things you were looking forward to least about being married to me was that you loathed the idea of a subservient and silent wife. My father should have had someone warn you, I tend to be too sarcastic for my own good, always have been, but you noticed that already too.” “If I had only known.” Sarcasm dripped heavily from every syllable he spoke. He looked at her for another moment. “How could you possibly have thought that we could even attempt to build anything on this?” “You never wanted to build anything, you spoke terribly of me the whole time I was here. You would not even use my name.” “What is with you and that particular issue? Why does it matter so greatly to you?” Loki snapped. “You are like a dog with a bone.”

“What is your obsession with not using it? You have nothing but contempt for me, both in your actions and your words, and have done so before you even realised it was me and do not think for one second I have forgotten your horrid words to your little friend about me, much less my realms’ people. Whatever damage I have done to the idea of creating a cordial relationship, you clean blasted it off the realm long before.” “I already told you, I do not think such, I was just venting.” “I told you in that very same conversation that I do not suffer fools. And if you think me to believe that statement, you are calling me one also.” “I bear no ill thoughts to the Ljósáfar. I would not have my seidr be so strong but for the ability to wield it perfected on Alfheim. I have nothing but respect for the race, you as an individual, on the other hand, not so much since you decided to try and trick me.” “There was no try, I succeeded in doing so.” There was some smugness to Raven’s smirk.

Loki’s lip curled in anger at that statement.

“I recall that day too that you wished to show me that you have no ill against my race, yet my parents and brothers did not deserve the respect required to welcome them, did they?” She shook her head. “You don’t respect us, you respect no one, not even yourself.” This time, she walked to the door and opened it, not wanting to speak to him any further.

“What comes of this?” Loki asked, not wanting to acknowledge her fairly accurate analysis.

“I do not know. You were adamant before, I am nothing but a duty. As a prince, you will be forced to do such duty. Our parents will not forfeit this agreement. My parents because it ensures I am no longer a burden, yours because, as you so crassly put it before, it solidifies my father’s alliance. So I guess we simply avoid one another outside of required interactions. I will not bother you, and you will ignore me. When this farce is done, I will stay in my rooms, you in yours and since I know Thor is being forced to court soon, we do some form of ritual dance that he has as many children as my father and we will not be required to do such things and you can have your conceited little harpy mistress and be happy.”

Loki was going to spit a comment back at her about the woman in reference but he noticed the genuine hurt and heartache in her features that startled him to silence on that matter. He quickly analysed her words again while she seemingly attempted to recompose herself. He did not know what in her statement caused her to react in such a way but it did startle him. “I am still trying to fathom the reasoning for all of this.”

“I wanted to know the true Loki, the one not putting on a facade for his father, or society, the being I would see every single evening after a long day.” “For what purpose?” “I spent my whole life having to be silent in public and mostly silent in private. I spent it being told how to act and who to speak to and how to speak to them. I wanted to know if I had to do that for the next few thousand years again or if it would be different. That is why I did it. I wanted to know if I could finally have someone to actually care for me as a being and not expect me to be what they want me to be, nothing more than a living doll. Norns, but you are right, had I but known.” And with that, she left the room.

#Loki #others #submission #Submitted fic #Hiding In Plain Sight #chapter 10 #wolfpawn

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bitchapalooza · 3 years ago

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More hetalia highschool AU, 🌟magic team🌟 edition :)

Under the cut bc it is long ❤️

Vladimir is that one kid obsessed with Twilight but only for the vampires; it was his first ever exposure to vampires thanks to his dad thinking Twilight was an appropriate book for a 11 year old. Team Edward going strong for five years, he'd proudly declare like it actually mattered. He tries his best to dress goth at school even though his uniform gets in the way. Fake ear piercings(his parents won't let him pierce them yet), over the top makeup, he's dyed the top half of his shoes black because his parents were concerned about his obsession with black and wouldn't buy him the black tennies he wanted— "mom look, these are marked down for back to school! Can I pleeeease get them???" "....may I know why the black ones specifically?" "They match the ever nothingness of my soul." "Yep! The white ones it is then!" "Mooooooooooom!"— Vladimir has been dubbed the cringy vampire kid of course.

Lukas is into pretty much anything concerning cryptids and magical creatures because they can't be proven to be fake or real, which intrigues him. He carries a book about mushrooms at all times and info dumps on pretty much anyone about identifying poisonous mushrooms and which mushrooms are safe to eat. His backpack is covered in buttons and pins to show off his interests. He keeps an amethyst in the front pocket of his backpack, reason unknown other than to just randomly pull it out and let Mikkel look at it. He's that kid that always wears his hoodie no matter the season, he never takes it off. Under his hoodie is always a crude worded t-shirt that the school would not approve of, much less his parents. He's relatively quiet and because he's quiet he's considered a weird kid.

Arthur can't decide if punk is his style or if goth is. Either way, his way of self expression at school in addition to the uniform is horrible. Checkered black/red shoes his grandma got him with his older brother's hand me down worn out greying socks—"can I PLEASE just have my own clothes???" "we have perfectly good clothes for you in the garage! I can fix them up to fit you better and everything!" "but I want cool NEW clothes!" "those are cool clothes and as far as the other kids know, they're also new. Now get your transformer backpack and get to the car. I put a new patch on it last night so that should hold it for the rest of the year."— Old Pierce the veil shirt, with holes chewed into the collar from his older brother Dillan, peeking out from under his white polo. A black and red choker to match his black and red slowly tearing apart too big flannel on top of a black pull over. A deep blue beanie, the hoodie of his pull over almost constantly on top when outside the school. He dyes a part of his hair a different color every month. He spikes his hair using too much gel and is convinced he looks good. He talks too much about bands and always gets Vlad and Lukas going on and on about fictional creatures he does not FULLY believe in himself. He does, however, believe in magic and loves Harry Potter, more specifically the Weaselys, to bits.

Natalya is a sophomore, a year behind the boys, and she just kinda pushed her way into the friend group until they eventually accepted her into it. They were the only three she knew who liked occult related topics. She's on the baseball team because she wanted an excuse to hit things with another thing and NOT get detention because of it. She wears the khaki uniform skirt and takes full advantage over being able to wear any kind of tights underneath; skull pattern, plain black, blood splatter pattern, fire pattern. Anything that makes her feel like a badass. She's always talking about antiques and forging weapons, more specifically knives. She has a whole collection of fidget toys but her favorite is this pea pod keychain her father gave her. She's always talking about how she'd like to be a medical examiner and to just prove that she's serious, she'll bring up a picture of a human model and point out the difference between a self inflicted fatal wound and a homicide. She puts up a charade of being able to see and talk to ghosts to freak out Alfred, her extended friend first met through Tolys.

They collectively believe they're cool and that other people know this. They're genuinely blind to the obvious snickers sent their way, being called losers and nerds. They're really knowm for like really pathetic things like; Natalya is Ivan's, tallest and most intimidating member of the wrestling team, weird younger sister by a year. Lukas is just the weird quiet kid that reads by the courtyard garden during lunch. Vladimir is not only the vampire goth kid but the kid who's parents believe the teachers are giving his son low grades on purpose and will yell at them for it. And Arthur is just. He's another Kirkland, immediately assumed to be a massive trouble maker because of his now graduated brother Alistair and one grade above him brother Dillan. Everyone loved his eldest brother Darick and sometimes compare him to Darick.

Compared to what others THINK they do, such as witch craft for some odd reason, the four of them do pretty typical teen activities. Like hang out at the mall. Do their honework together. Play video games and D&D when they have the chance. The boys do have sleepovers still as they have since meeting each other in middle school, Nat not really being a fan of sleeping where she doesn't live but comfortable enough to go to their houses and just chill for the day. They have become friends because of their related interests but thats not what they're ALL ABOUT.

Fun facts/stories about these losers I thought about while bored as fuck:

• Lukas, in his freshman year, went on a nature hike field trip with his lit class after reading Into The Wild. And he brought his mushroom book of course. They walked around, looking at the sights, talked about the book. Lukas just stops at one point, falling behind the class. He picks up a mushroom, goes to the teacher and is like "You see this? Its not poisonous." And straight up fucking eats it without warning. The teacher called an ambulance even though Lukas kept telling him he was fine and that that mushroom was 100% okay to eat raw, but for sure better off cooked. Lukas calmly shows the paramedics his book and they're like "yeah that actually was safe to eat, we don't need the book to confirm that, but um. Please don't ever pick something off the ground and eat it again. Just. Please don't do that, son." .....he did it again before leaving to go back to school but this time he didn't tell anyone.

• In elementary school, Natalya brought in a model of the human brain she asked her dad to borrow. He had to say yes because she was his only child genuinely interested, not bored of, his medical profession and he found it very cute and honoring. So she's at show and tell, its her turn right, and she silently goes up to the front of the class and pulls out the model brain. Teacher tries to step in because, hey, these are 6 year olds—AND WHY DOES THIS 6 YEAR OLD HAVE A PLASTIC BRAIN??? But Nat just shooshes her. In surprised shock, the teacher is just quiet as Nat begins to explain parts of the brain and their function— which was all wrong actually. She knew the words and everything but she didn't get the locations right. She sounded confident and smart and she was telling this to a bunch of 6 year olds so they believed her of course. End of the school day, her dad is having a hilarious conference with his youngest's teacher about the brain incident.

• Vladimir loves reading. He's loved it since he began to learn how, even if his dyslexia gives him grief along the way. So since he loves to read he'll always get excited and read ahead in class or in the public library reading club. One summer, the reading club was reading The Giver and it was getting really good. Vlad was loving the story, so much so that Vlad began to read ahead in his own time when he really wasn't supposed to be, the club was reading it together out loud and discussing it. Now he's read enough and worked hard enough to figure out how to help himself focus better and understand each word and sentence without having to reread it all multiple times over or get stuck. But sometimes the meaning and context to what he's reading doesn't ALWAYS process with the words as he's too focused on reading the words right and it passes right over his head. So Vlad is reading ahead and he's getting to the part where The Giver has given Jonas the memory of the sled again. And Vlad just sits there after reading that paragraph. He rereads it. And rereads it again. And then he leaves his book on his bed, goes to the the hall closet and takes out the ironing board. He grabs a plastic container to use as an ill attempt of a helmet and he just. Rockets down the staircase and hits the wall. He screams and cries and his parents rush in from the livingroom. When asked what happened he just says "I wanted to understand the sled scene better! Now I do and I feel really bad for Jonas!" He just couldn't quite grasp WHY the sled accident hurt, never had a broken bone nor sled afterall, and needed to find out. And that's how Vlad got his first broken arm at the age of 12.

• When Alfred and Matthew moved in with Arthur's family, Arthur didn't like it. He was a moody young teen but he was also just tired of the full house. His cousins were loud and nosey. He had to share a room with his four older brothers already and now with Matthew while Kathleen and Alfred got a room to themselves. Arthur thought this was so unfair. So his solution was to run away. He was 13, he needed a place to have some peace and quiet for once. So he texts Francis and Lukas, the only two of his friends living in his neighnorhood. Francis is not on board with helping him run away at first but then Lukas brings literally all his camping gear for Arthur's use and then Francis is on board because he had the feeling Arthur was going to get himself killed somehow. So as the elder one of the group he accompanied Arthur and Lukas out to the short stretch of woods behind the last street of their neighborhood, intending to go to the big clearing before hitting the roads leading to the airport and whatever else buildings. They're out there setting everything up together and they're done by like 4 pm. They sit down and talk, munch on oreos and other snacks Arthur deemed as essential survival foods. Then Francis looks at his cell and remarks "wow its already 6! Ah, Lukas, we should get home. Afterall, neither of us ran away so we still have supper to eat. Come on Lukas, let's go before our parents come looking for us." They exchange goodbyes, Francis trying his best to hide his cocky smirk. So Lukas and Francis start walking off, Arthur crawls into the tent and eats half a cookie before frowning and feeling too alone. He didn't expect to feel alone because all he wanted was to BE ALONE. Before he knows it, he's running out of the tent yelling after his friends to stop and wait up. "Oh whats wrong, Arthur? I thought you wanted to run away." "I— I forgot I hadn't fed my rabbit is all! I'll run away tomorrow! I'm not... Feeling lonely if.. If that's what you think...." Arthur did not run away the next day. Buuuuuut the three plus Vlad made a tree house together in the Kirkland backyard that they still use today!

#if you thought these four would be cool kids in this au then you thought wrong #hetalia #hetalia au #hetalia england #hetalia belarus #hetalia norway #hetalia romania #hetalia magic team #there should be more content of the magic losers + belarus tbh magic team is a bad group name but so fits their collective vibes so well

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naitiaclo960writings · 4 years ago

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Day 8 - Heartless

(Warnings: Past major character’s death and quick mention of disease / grief. It’s an happy ending tho)

September

When Castiel fell asleep in the operating room on the morning of September 14, he was prepared to never wake up again. He had never been a religiously committed man unlike his parents, and yet he knew that he had prayed before closing his eyes.

It has been more than 3 months since he entered the list of organ recipients to replace his heart tired by illness. Unfortunately, he had inherited a heart malformation from birth and had survived to the age of 28 without being too disabled, but the congenital heart disease had caught up with him midyear. After a whole series of tests and a permanent hospitalization, the doctors had been very clear: either he had a heart transplant or he had only a few months left to live.

The hardest part was seeing his friends and family coming to see him every day with a darker face as nothing moved on the side of the organ center. Castiel was aware that he was not a priority among the thousands of people in need of a heart in the United States, but he tried to remain optimistic for the people he loved. His fight was rewarded a few days ago when he was told he had found a match donor.

For medical reasons, Castiel and his family weren’t allowed to know who the donor was. It was obviously not the priority in the eyes of all, but Castiel had insisted on knowing more and he had simply been informed that a heart had become available following a fatal road accident in the nearby city. There was something macabre about celebrating someone’s death, but that person had been generous enough to help other souls struggling to live and he could only salute that gesture.

"Take a deep breath." The nurse intimated, securing a mask on his face.

Thus the day of the fateful operation had arrived and Castiel was terrified. There were so many things to consider, so many factors that could tip the scales one way or the other. After one last thought to his family and, surprisingly, to his donor’s family, Castiel did as he was asked.

* * *

October

The operation was a success. He opened his eyes after said surgery. There was nothing more to say except that Castiel was grateful every day for the new beating heart in his chest. It was with this heart that he could now embrace his loved ones, laugh with his friends and discover a world he thought destined to disappear beyond the doors of this hospital.

Castiel was still in hospital and in the recovery phase, but he was doing well and could be out very soon according to his doctors. He had seen the scar on his chest last week and he couldn’t help but cherish it. This mark was the sign that he had survived. The sign that he had the right to live longer and to continue to build his life away from the health problems that had accompanied him all his life.

He was currently distracted by the television channels in his room — the afternoon programs were truly deplorable — when the nurse came in to serve him his meal.

"Hi Clarence. How’s my hottest patient today?" She exclaimed.

Castiel turned his head towards her with a small awkward smile as usual. He stood up gently in bed.

"Hello Meg." He said politely. "I’m fine, my scar doesn’t even itch anymore."

Meg was definitely his favorite nurse and it seemed to be mutual. She had told him one day that she always arranged to be assigned to his room, for she liked their conversations, and Castiel could only agree with her. Despite her bad girl tease, Meg was now a good friend, always listening and present to support him in addition to being a good caregiver. Her honesty had helped Castiel to carry on in his fight against the disease and during his remission. They sometimes spent long minutes discussing their respective lives before Meg’s pager rang and she was called away. In addition, she sometimes smuggled him chocolate bars to make up for the hospital food and Castiel calling it "a survival aid".

"I hope so!" Meg said, setting up his lunch tray with a small smile." But at least it has the merit of giving you a little adventurous side. Did I ever tell you I have a thing for guys with chest scars?"

Castiel laughed softly, playing the game they both took pleasure in maintaining. Despite everything, it didn’t go any further than that: a game to brighten their days. Both knew how to settle for their already atypical friendship.

"At least twice a day." Castiel joked while leaning in his pillows. "Did anyone leave a message for me today?"

Meg could not help sighing and Castiel pinched his lips with sympathy.

They both knew what that meant. Castiel had insisted on registering on a site that put organ donor families and recipients in contact. However, the process was complex and if the family of his donor did not post any message on this site, then Castiel would have no chance to get in touch with them. Yet he was almost obsessed with this situation. He had this need, no, this irrepressible urge to thank the family of the one who had saved his life. It was something so important and, although he respected the choice of some to remain anonymous, he felt that he would not be able to leave this all behind until he had put a definitive end to this chapter of his life.

"No, Clarence, squat" Meg shook her head. "And even if they did, you know very well that you will not be able to contact them. The site does not allow any personal information or too intimate exchanges between families."

"I know." Castiel replied, abashed while planting his fork in the mashed peas. "But perhaps they will make an exception? I just want to know them and thank them for the gesture of their loved one".

Meg clicked her tongue while pushing the wagon towards the door.

"I know you want to do the right thing, you’re a damn angel with a halo over your head." She gave him a small grin of disgust that made Castiel smile. "But what if they didn’t want to meet you? They are probably—"

"Living a difficult situation and I would only remind them of their loss, yes, I know." Castiel mumbled without being able to help it. "But… Maybe that they also would like to know that the death of their loved one helped other people cope. It’s possible Meg. And maybe they just don’t know how to contact me or-"

Meg shook her head again with a little compassionate pout.

"Even if they knew, handsome, they couldn’t. It’s against the law. Medical confidentiality and all that crap." She sighed before she came to sit on the chair beside him and put her feet on his bed.

Castiel let out a groan of frustration.

"Yes… But there are necessarily registers somewhere, a way to find a contact." Suddenly, something seemed to light up in his eyes and he turned his hopeful face towards Meg.

"Oh no, don’t give me that look." She groaned, knowing that it was not good news.

Castiel ignored her.

"Could you have access to organ donor records? You told me the heart came from the next town."

"And just by doing that, I’ve already told you too much." Meg said, raising an insolent eyebrow.

"You must be able to find an address, right? There must be even a name or maybe a phone number. I mean, if it’s a medical secret then the information has to be somewhere. If I could just put my finger on a semblance of something, it would be…" He moistened his lips, thinking. " It would be incredible."

Meg grumbled again, throwing her head back with exaggeration.

"Let’s say I have access to this information, and I mean maybe. Just giving it to you could cost me my job, Clarence. Why is it so important for you to find the name of a dead guy?" She snapped.

At these words Castiel’s face slumped slightly. He remained silent for a moment, seeking the right answer to this question. Meanwhile, he felt his heart squeeze in his chest and the blood it sent to his brain was enough to formulate his next words.

"Because it is unfair that I survived among so many others." He said." My donor had relatives, maybe siblings, a dog, friends and all lost something too valuable to be replaced in this car accident. Yet that’s how organ donation works. Someone dies and allows others to live. But I know that, if I had died on that operating table, my parents would have liked to know through whom I would have continued to live. I feel responsible Meg."

Castiel took a shaky breath before gently biting his lip while his friend welcomed his words with contemplative silence. Television continued to gossip in the background, but Castiel no longer heard it, lost in his thoughts.

"And yet, you are not." Meg said gently, leaving aside her usual sarcasm this time.

Castiel nodded slowly.

"I know." He sighed again before returning to his plate. "I’m sorry, you’re right. I can’t ask you anything like that anyway, it was selfish of me."

Following this, only the noise of the cutlery against the ceramics as well as the television journalist was heard in the hospital room. Meg didn’t move, didn’t open her mouth either, while each of them thought about their commitments in this story.

Finally, after several minutes of silence, the nurse sighed dramatically.

"What the hell wouldn’t I do for those beautiful blue eyes." She said under her breath. "Okay, I’ll see what I can do about the address." She says while rolling her eyes before standing up.

Castiel turned his head so quickly towards her that he was afraid to break his neck.

"What?" He asked, stunned.

"But I can’t guarantee you anything, Clarence." Meg told him while sighing. "You don’t access their organ donor files like that, but… I may have a couple of people I could contact. But it’s just between us."

She glared at him, and Castiel nodded, mouth open.

"I... of course."

Meg swore softly.

"One more thing." She said." I’ll try everything, but if I don’t find anything, you have to promise me you won’t try to get a name anymore. Do we have a deal?"

Castiel closed his mouth in a discreet snap before taking his friend’s last words into consideration. Finally, he nodded again.

"I promise you." He said seriously.

"Good." Meg sighed. "You’ll owe me one, angel."

A smile appeared again on Castiel’s face, more tender this time, his heart still playing up its own behind the scar of his chest.

"Thank you, Meg." He whispered.

"Shuddup." She grumbled with a wink before her pager rang in the room.

In no time, she waved at him and disappeared in the corridor, taking the empty wagon with her. Castiel went back to his bed with a light smile on his face. Yes, Meg was a good friend.

* * *

November

Meg’s research had still not yielded anything even a month after Castiel left the hospital. Although he was now alone again in his large apartment, there was something exhilarating about being able to live normally as if he had not nearly died a few months ago. Finding a job at the florist in his town had been the first step in his new life as he slowly resumed a normal social life with his friends and family.

His own search had also given nothing and the inbox of the website that could put him in contact with his donor’s family remained hopelessly empty. Nevertheless, Castiel did not get the idea out of his head. He often dreamed of meeting these strangers, of the words he would say to them if they had the chance to do so.

It was during a cold November evening, while he was bundled up in a plaid on his couch in front of a TV show, that Castiel’s cellphone rang. It was not something particularly unusual, but the late hour of the evening immediately gave this call something special. When he reached out to his phone, he could see Meg’s name on the screen.

"Hello?" He said, picking up, his heartbeat accelerating.

"Hi Clarence." Meg, a net of excitement in the voice, hastily replied. "Tell me you’re sitting, handsome, I’d hate to hear you fall on your ass because of what I’m about to tell you."

At this, Castiel straightened up in the sofa, his heart going up his throat.

"I’m sitting." He simply said, his fingers tightening around his phone.

"Okay, because I have something for you!" Meg hummed. "The info cost me at least three boxes of chocolate and the promise of a date to the shady guy in the operating room. You know, the one who keeps wearing Britney Spears t-shirts under his blouses? He’d be doing karaoke parties with the girl from the fourth floor that I wouldn’t even be surprised at-

"Meg." Castiel impatiently cut her off.

"Yes, yes. All this to say that he knows who approved your transplant application. So…" She said with pride, leaving a second of silence to settle her effect. I know where your little heart comes from and how to reach out to the family!"

At once, Castiel felt the air blocked in his throat. These words, he had waited for them for months while everything gradually turned into a crazy and inaccessible hope. Suddenly, through a simple phone call, Meg had just remade his world.

"Are you certain?" He finally asked, with a short breath.

"Oh, Clarence, please! Don’t you trust your favorite nurse anymore?" Meg laughed immediately.

Castiel shook his head, a bit stunned. Meg resumed.

"I sent you everything by e-mail, you must have received it." She said with malice. "But remember: keep it under your hat pretty boy. You don’t know me."

"Yes, I... of course." Castiel stuttered, rising to rush towards his computer.

"Hey." Meg called him through the phone, her voice softer. "I know it’s important to you, but… take the time to assimilate the information, okay? You don’t have to contact them tonight."

Castiel knew she was right, but the excitement was in his chest. However, he took the time to thank Meg warmly and invite her to dinner next week before hanging up. A few minutes later he had his eyes fixed on a brand new e-mail in his inbox. Castiel took a great inspiration. He had waited so long for this moment that, now that he was faced with a fait accompli, he was almost afraid to go for it.

Finally, he found the courage to click on the screen. His eyes quickly passed over her friend’s introductory text before fixating on a name written in bold as well as a lot of personal information listed just below. Reading these few lines, Castiel felt his heart racing again.

Samuel William Winchester

Born: March 2, 1983, in Lawrence, Kansas

Died: September 13, 2006, in Des Moines, Iowa

Cause: Head injury, road accident

Blood type: O negative

Applicant for organ donation: Yes

Organ removed: Heart

The data sheet thus continued in a professional coldness that affected Castiel slightly as he felt his throat tightening. His donor was only 23 when he died. He read every piece of information carefully before he got to the part he was most interested in.

Contact person in case of problem: Dean Winchester

Donor affiliation: older brother

Castiel felt his hands become sweaty as his gaze slid over the address and telephone number of Dean Winchester. A heavy silence filled his apartment, Castiel still unable to detach his gaze from this decisive email.

That’s it. The family of his donor was only a phone call away and he could finally thank the entourage of his savior. However, with this crucial information came a bitter feeling that Castiel had not apprehended. He remained all night pacing in his living room, his eyes regularly returning to the phone number taunting him from the screen of his computer.

* * *

December

Three months. Three long months since his little brother had disappeared in a car accident, leaving him and their parents in the grip of nameless sadness. He could barely breathe most of the time thinking of that youthful face he would never see again.

Dean passed a tired hand over his face as he walked past the windows of an umpteenth shop decorated with trees and garlands. Celebrating Christmas seemed absurd, totally meaningless in such a context. What’s the point if he can’t see Sammy’s jaded face in front of his usual porn magazine that he buys especially for him every year, for the joke? His world has been tasteless for far too long now.

Mary managed to keep her head above water half the time, calling him every day to hear from him, to which Dean responded with as many reassuring words as he could. Everyone knew that most of them sounded empty, but they could only pretend to be okay these past few months. Dean was wondering if the pain would eventually go away. He was told yes. He doubted that. John, on the other hand, drank a little more every day and Dean felt guilty about leaving his mother with him all day, regardless of Mary’s reassuring words.

The ground seemed to collapse under his feet as Dean looked for a way out. The truth is, he didn’t know how to do it without breaking everything around him. His days passed one after the other in a sickly similarity: work, eat, reassure, start again. He no longer had his stupid little brother to listen to his stories, no one to share his Friday night evenings with and who would be there to support him in any situation. He had his friends left, but, honestly, no one could understand him like Sam did for 23 years.

An umpteenth sigh passed through the barrier of his lips when a rock-like music rose out of his pocket. Already worried that it was still his mother, Dean took out his cell phone. Unknown number. He raised an eyebrow and picked up.

"Hello?" He said in a hoarse voice.

The line remained silent and Dean frowned. He could hear a breath at the other end of the line, so he tried again.

"Hello?"

"Oh, uh, yes! Hello, sir, uh, Dean?" An uncertain voice immediately answered with a short breath and tangled words.

Dean raised an eyebrow. Had he given his phone number to anyone recently? Not to his knowledge in any case, he very rarely went outside the garage in which he worked. Curious, Dean turned into a quiet street to concentrate on his interlocutor.

"Who am I speaking with?" He asked with a hint of sarcasm.

The man on the other side of the phone seemed to take a breath before resuming in an equally nervous tone.

"I’m sorry, we don’t really know each other. I am aware that my call may be unwelcome, in fact I hesitated for a long time before contacting you." The man stuttered.

Dean sighed.

"Well, listen, if it’s to sell me something then I’m not interested, thank you."

"No!" The man quickly added. "No, I don’t want to sell you anything. I…" Another inspiration."My name is Castiel Novak. I live in Waterloo. I know this is going to sound weird, but… I received your brother Samuel’s heart."

Dean remained silent for a long time, trying to assimilate each of the words he had just heard. At the sound of Sam’s name, he thought he was dying a bit more. A kind of thud rose in his ears, so that he thought he had fallen into a pool while he was not paying attention to his steps. Besides, Dean wasn’t even sure where he was, now standing still in the middle of the street. Only a deep and sizzling voice gradually emerged from his torpor.

"I am sorry." Castiel went on after a long silence. "I’ve taken the liberty of contacting you, but I can assure you that I don’t want to cause you any more trouble than that." He seemed to be searching for his words for a moment." I know I could never thank Samuel for his gesture, but... your brother saved my life. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I was, even though I couldn’t replace what you lost. If there’s anything I can do to help, it would be my pleasure. However, I also understand that you would never want to hear from me again... But I can assure you that I will take care of his heart. Samuel really did a lot of good in my life and with my loved ones."

Castiel started to mutter, as if he was suddenly deeply embarrassed by this phone call. Dean was convinced that he had to send back the image of a man ravaged by grief right now, his arms swaying and his gaze lost.

"Sam." He finally replied in a trembling voice. Dean took the time to clear his throat before continuing. "He preferred to be called Sam."

"Okay." Castiel said after another moment of hesitation. "Well… Sam really is a hero to me, Dean, I wanted you to know that."

Dean nodded stupidly, no matter how Castiel couldn’t see him. He felt that the sky had just fallen on his head, he felt completely disoriented. Of course Sammy was a hero, the rest of humanity didn’t even know how lucky they were to be around him. Dean knew that Sam had donated his organs, he had even given everything he could, because he was like that. But knowing that the heart was beating in someone else’s body, giving them a chance to continue to live and breathe… It was something he hadn’t really thought about until then.

"I’m going to leave you, I’m sorry I interfered in your life like this." Castiel apologized again. "I will not call this number again, I promise. I hope everything will be all right for your family, sincerely."

Dean’s heart skipped a beat and his muscles began to move, pushing him to almost scream on the phone.

"No, wait!" Realizing that Castiel had still not hung up, Dean quieted down, a shiver in his voice. "I don’t even know how you found this number, but… Well, it doesn’t matter. You’re from Waterloo? Iowa?

"Yes." Castiel said. "I’m about a two-hour drive from Des Moines. I don’t know if you live nearby, but-

"Des Moines, yeah." Dean replied, stunned. How did this guy know so much about Sam, he thought that the organ donation was anonymous? "Would you be available to meet in the week?"

An umpteenth silence answered his question and, frankly, Dean himself did not know why he had asked it. Maybe he was holding on to a ghost, a hopeless, senseless hope of finding something that once belonged to Sam. But what else did he have to lose now?

"… Are you going to punch me in the face if I say yes?" Castiel asked with distrust.

Surprisingly, it snatched a small laugh from Dean who barely recognized the sound of his voice. He hadn’t laughed that easily in weeks now.

"No." He answered. "I just want to talk, if that’s okay?"

He didn’t know what to think of this situation, it was too surreal. Was he angry with this man? No, not really. Sad? Maybe, but nothing new. Curious? Certainly. There were so many questions that now turned in his mind, almost stunning him. Never before had he heard a similar story and, yes, he was driven to the unknown by the despair of that mourn which he had never ended. But to hell with it, he needed to feel Sam’s heart beating against his hand again.

"Okay, I’d love to, then. What’s your schedule?"

Dean felt a piece of his soul warming up.

* * *

January

Their first encounter had definitely been strange and completely atypical. They had arranged to meet in a café halfway between their two cities, and despite a tense start, Dean and Castiel had talking much of the afternoon. Dean had been biting his tongue all along so he wouldn’t ask the fateful question of "excuse me, can we stop talking so I can put my hand against your heart?". But Castiel had finally come to the point by asking him if he could tell him about Sam and things had been done naturally. It was as if someone had opened the floodgates and quickly, Dean was unable to stop the incessant flow of words about his little brother. He told him the most important thing, from his childhood memories to that weird tic that Sam had every time he was upset.

Castiel had then smiled softly at each of his anecdotes and, when Dean had finally been allowed to feel this pulsating heart against his hand, Castiel had not moved. Dean was almost certain that he had let slip a strangled exclamation, but Castiel had just contented himself with that sweet and understanding look. At the end of their appointment, they had agreed to meet again. They both needed it.

The month of February began on another encounter at the park this time, at Des Moines. The winter was still rough and persistent this year, so they had decided to go and enjoy a hot chocolate near the pond. Dean hadn’t told his parents about it, not yet, but this meeting with Castiel did him as much good as the first. When he returned home, he found himself feeling much lighter than before.

They did not wait until the following month to meet again, and their third meeting took place in Waterloo this time. Castiel had invited him to dinner at a restaurant he called "the best in town" and Dean could not possibly say no to the prospect of a good meal.

March hosted their first meeting in a private place. Dean had taken care to clean up the mess from top to bottom before Castiel rang his doorbell and, seeing the huge bouquet of flowers that his friend had brought him, an easy smile spread over his face. Easy. It was the right word to define Castiel. Everything was easy with him, obvious and sweet. He never judged him, no matter what topic of conversation he decided to share with him. Castiel listened and supported and Dean had not felt so free and understood since at least 6 months now. One evening, he even wildly wondered if Sam’s heart had not completely taken possession of Castiel to make him this radiant and exceptional person. Until then, Dean had never known anyone but his brother who could read him like an open book.

In April and several appointments later, however, Dean understood that it was not really a fraternal connection he shared with Castiel. He learned to dwell more on the looks and gestures exchanged. Everything was crazy, insane, but once again, everything had always been crazy between them, and this from the first day.

May marked the beginning of a mental breakdown for Dean. He was definitely falling in love with his now best friend and that terrified him. What if he was wrong? What if the fear of losing sight of the only thing that still connected him to his deceased brother led him to feel faked feelings for Castiel? He had no right to be wrong here, he could not make his friend suffer, for he was too stubborn and miserable to properly analyze his own feelings. His cowardice pushed him away from Castiel — "to avoid making him suffer," he said — and the deep despair that this created in each of them was almost as hard as a second mourning. Almost.

Despite his best efforts not to hurt his best friend, June began with a considerable argument. Castiel felt rightfully unfairly rejected, and Dean could not bring himself to pronounce the words that burned his throat. However, neither of them expressed themselves more when Castiel, after a final overwhelming exclamation, brutally kissed Dean’s lips. The latter greeted him with a sob before deepening their kiss. No, Dean did not only love that beating heart in his chest… He had fallen in love with so much more.

July and August passed at an alarming speed as each of the two men discovered another facet of the other. Castiel had met Dean’s parents and Dean had not seen his mother so happy for a long time now. However, the one-year date of Sam’s accident was fast approaching and Dean could not ignore the weight it added to his shoulders. Little by little, Sam’s heart had become Castiel’s one in his eyes and his boyfriend was gradually filling the void that he felt deep inside him, but this dammed month of September was now taunting him every day on the calendar.

"Would you like to put your head against my chest?" Castiel once proposed as they both prepare to go to bed.

Dean froze, air jammed in his lungs.

"What?" He asked, stunned. He wasn’t sure if he heard correctly.

Castiel smiled softly, as always, before taking his hand in his.

"Just tonight." He replied, as if that explains everything.

And without really understanding how, Dean nodded and lay down with Castiel. Docilely, he had let his companion draw him to himself until his ear rested against the scar of his chest. Some breathing later, Dean was able to discern the beats under the mutilated skin and the world stopped spinning. He remained there for hours, his eyes open but lost in nostalgia and stifling emotion. He was alive and well, determined not to disappear. Not this time. When Dean began to cry silently, Castiel simply hugged him harder to comfort him, without a word. This was so precious to him. It quickly became their favorite position, Dean kissing the scar whenever he could.

September passed by in a bitter sweet atmosphere that neither Dean nor Castiel regretted sharing together. One evening in October, bundled up under the duvet to fight off a new winter, Dean could not take his eyes off the blue gaze smiling back. He thought of what his last months had been, what he had lost, but also what he had found. In front of him, Castiel squeezed the hand on his chest while breathing the same warm air as his partner. Their heart rate was calm and painless.

"I love you." Dean huffed at the bend of another tender smile.

At his words, Dean felt Castiel’s heart miss a beat under his palm and maybe, just maybe, was this the way his brother told him how happy he was for him.

* * * @winchester-reload

I hope you enjoyed it! I would really like to develop other moments like their first meeting or the evolution of their friendship until they become a couple. However, I had only one day to write and I had to make choices :). I am proud of this work but also rather doubtful of the final result so, if you liked it, please take the time to leave me a quick review in the comments. It would mean a lot to me. Thanks again for reading to the end, see you tomorrow!

You can find the whole series on Ao3

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flowerpot112 · 3 years ago

Text

Marauders First kisses

SIRIUS BLACK

"But what was it like?" Asked Peter, his eyes wide. James and Remus were either side of him looking on in admiration.

Sirius for his part was lounging in the armchair by the fire basking in the attention from his best mates, a Cheshire cat grin on his face. He had just sauntered through the portrait hole a hero, announcing to the boys and common room at large that he had just 'snogged' Laura Hayes, a fellow third year in Hufflepuff. He was inordinately proud of this fact, being the first amongst the four of them to kiss a girl.

"Brilliant of course you muppet" Sirius said shoving Peter with his foot "She couldn't get enough of me, then again who could blame her?" He gestured to what he knew was a classically handsome face.

"Awesome…" Peter breathed flopping back into the sofa.

"Poor girl, must have inhaled too many fumes in potions, probably brain damaged…." Remus grinned sitting next to Peter, reopening his book without looking at it.

"Well, if she wasn't before she is now." James sniggered as Sirius now aimed his foot in Remus direction. "So you were good at it then?" He now looked on in apprehension, he knew James would never admit it outloud but it was this fear that held James back from his own first kiss, it wasn't as if he wasn't more popular amongst the girls. James, like Sirius, always made sure he was laughed with, never at.

"What do you mean? 'Course I was good at it!" Sirius expression turned from that of absolute pride to outrage before slowly morphing into one of uncertainty "I mean, I think so… I mean it's not difficult, is it? People do it all the time…. Right?" He was proud of his achievement, but now the ever-present doubt crept in. What if he had one it wrong and now she was laughing with her friends as he was with his.

Sirius prided himself on his carefully crafted image, to the world he was the handsome, charismatic rebel of the Black family and he preferred it that way. His mother had taught him long ago to show emotion was to show weakness, he was still working on forgetting these sentiments. He looked to Remus as he often did when he was uncertain.

"Why are you looking at me you bloody idiot? You're the only one who's done it!"

"Yeah, but you always have the answers Remus, answer me damn it!"

"Well, like Pete said what was is it like?"

Sirius thought for a moment then answered quietly "Weird at first… and a bit awkward, I mean it's a bit strange to have someone else's tongue in your mouth! But, overall, yeah…. Brilliant, she was all pressed against me and smelled good and stuff…" He trailed off a small smile coming to his face. Yeah, he consoled himself, he'd done it right. After all Laura had asked him to Hogsmede afterwards. He liked Laura, she was half blood and her father was a mechanic, whatever that was, it it meant she grew up around motorbikes. Sirius was obsessed.

"Awesome" Peter reiterated.

James, his nerves now soothed (after all like Sirius said people do it all the time, could be too hard), grinned at Remus and moved to ruffle Sirius hair "Our boy's growing up so fast."

Remus mimed wiping a tear from his eye as Sirius foot now swung in the direction of James.

PETER PETTIGREW

"Peter! You absolute legend!" Remus gave Peter a congratulatory smack on the back, accidentally sending the poor boy toppling into a bench in the great hall.

"Snogging Marlene McKinnon, who'd have thought it eh?" Sirius said passing Peter a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Yeah, way to go to old boy" James added his eyes twinkling.

Peter was busy blushing, it was unusual for him to be centre of attention even amongst his closest friends, he often felt he was on the outside looking in. He had been on his way to lunch the previous day, in his own world, grateful it was Friday. His mother had been ill the past week and Peter had been fretting his way through classes, making his usual struggle with spell work an absolute train wreck. This had landed him with three detentions and a stern telling off from McGonagall, followed swiftly by a shortbread biscuit. Marlene McKinnon of all people had stopped him in the halls and, peter noticed in full view of everyone, asked him to Hogsmeade the following day.

"It'll be a laugh…" she had exclaimed bumping him the shoulder. Peter had stammered out his acceptance of her offer through his confusion, feeling as though he was blushing from head to toe.

It wasn't that he didn't like Marlene, he knew her well enough and she was certainly a very pretty witch, it was just that Marlene usually spoke more to James and Sirius than Peter. James had known her well since childhood and the pair had a sibling like bond and Sirius, well Sirius enjoyed flirting.

Still Peter had bade farewell to his grinning friends and joined Marlene to walk down to Hogsmeade making small talk. Once in the Three Broomsticks they had talked about their upcoming plans for Christmas and laughed about the latest pranks he and his friends has played on the Slytherins. This latest escapade had earned the four troublemakers the name 'The Marauders'. They had complained about the ungodly amount of homework the professors had lumped upon them for the holidays whilst shopping in Honeydukes and set back for Hogwarts in silence. Once reaching the door of Hogwarts he had made to tell Marlene goodbye until she has leaned across and pecked Peter on the lips.

Now Peter, thoroughly cheered, had make his way to the great hall where his jokester friends were waiting. As he laughed with them, telling them of his first date and kiss he failed to notice James mouthing his thanks to Marlene, who just nodded and winked back.

JAMES POTTER

James knew objectively girls liked him. He was handsome, funny, athletic, and intelligent. His family's money didn't hurt one bit nor his pure blood status, although any girls interested in that James wouldn't entertain. Now that he was an official member of the Quidditch team it seemed every girl liked him. Well, most girls, he corrected himself thinking of a certain red-haired witch.

He quickly shook himself from that train of thought. He had asked her out, hadn't he? And she'd laughed derisively in his face before shooting a hex his way. Granted Snape was still coughing up soap bubbles from his own hex when he'd asked but he'd been genuine, much to his surprise. No she didn't want anything to do with James. But Clarice Wentworth did.

He brought himself back to the present and threw his most charming grin over his shoulder at her as he made his way across the Gryffindor common room to his fellow trouble makers. The quidditch celebration bash was in full swing, the Prewett brothers having provided all manor of treats and tricks to get the party going.

"Jamie, my boy, having a pleasant time?" Sirius asked, his ecstatic expression betraying his casual tone. After all the whole of Gryffindor house had just witnessed the enthusiastic kiss he'd just shared with Clarice.

"She just planted one on me!" James exclaimed his lips tingling a little at the memory. Which was the truth although he had been a more than willing participant. "Just walked right up and did it."

"Sounds horrific" Peter commented sarcastically.

"Shall we rush you to the hospital wing?" Remus added rolling his eyes. An action James echoed. Remus took a swig of his contraband fire whiskey.

"I'm not complaining," James explained grinning and looking over to where Clarice was giggling with her friends. "Just surprised, I'd not really noticed her properly before." He sure as hell did now.

"Not noticed her! She's bloody fit!" Sirius eyebrows looked to be attempting to join his hairline, Peter nodded vigorously.

"Too busy mooning over, then being hexed by a certain talented witch" James, deciding Remus had had quite enough for one night, snatched the bottle from Remus hands.

"I've no idea what you could possibly mean Remus, my dear friend." Still, he couldn't stop his eyes from flicking to the table where Lily Evans and her friends were sitting. They appeared to be deep in conversation but Lily, sensing James gaze no doubt turned to look at them, he looked away quickly.

Remus and Peter wore identical knowing smiles whilst Sirius just rolled his eyes and leant over to throw an arm around his favourite friends' shoulders. "Never mind Evans, she's a right stick in the mud mate, some birds just don't appreciate perfection when they see it." He shook James a little in his grasp. James appreciated Sirius' flattery, although he wasn't 100% sure his mate wasn't talking about himself.

"It would certainly make my life easier; I'm hoping to make prefect next year and Lily is a shoe in. Don't fancy spending patrols with her ignoring me because you've ticked her off." He threw James a fond but exasperated look "Maybe its best to leave her and Snape alone for a little a while?" He looked quietly hopeful.

James conceded to himself Remus had a point. Whilst it was fun to cause a bit of mayhem with the boys and funnier still seeing Snivellus get what was coming to him, he had recently found himself wanting to impress Evans, wanting to make her smile as Snivellus did, wanting to make her laugh the way Meadows did… wanting it to be her surprising him with a kiss in the common room. He could lay off… for a while at least. Clarice seemed charming and obviously more than welcomed his affections. Maybe spending some time having fun with her wouldn't hurt.

"Agreed."

Sirius scoffed "You're actually gonna let Snivellus get away with that stunt he pulled on Peter last Wednesday? Peters head was 5 times its normal size for hours!"

James tutted "Of course not! What do you take me for?" He threw arm over Sirius in return grinning, whilst Remus groaned "We just cant get caught, that's all"

Now it was Sirius turn to groan, James heard him mutter something about unfairness and credit. James chose to ignore his mates' dramatics. He looked back over to Clarice and said, "If you don't mind lads, we'll pick this up tomorrow, see you in the dorm." He made his way over to her.

REMUS LUPIN

What can only be described as a squeal echoed through Gryffindor tower. The blonde girl rushed past the three laughing Marauders clutching her shirt over her bare chest.

"Manly, Pads, really I'm impressed mate." Said James sarcastically.

"Shut it, Prongs!"

"Yeah Prongs, Sirius is too much of a free soul to be confined by stereotypical gender confines… or at least his vocal cords are" Remus teased as Sirius casually corrected his uniform without a hint of self-consciousness as the boys trooped into their dorm.

They flopped down on their own beds, dumping their bags, and shuffling out of their shoes and jackets, still wet from the storm raging outside.

"Now, Moony my romantically challenged friend, don't be jealous"

"Romantically challenged?" Remus countered, his eyebrows raising "Says the mutt who can't keep a girl past a week!" If Remus was honest with himself, he supposed he was somewhat 'romantically challenged' but he thought of it as more of a side effect of what he became each month. He tried not to mourn the things he couldn't have.

"How dare you!" Sirius clutched his chest in mock indignation as James and Peter guffawed "I'm still finding the right one."

James sniggered even more "And that entail's you snogging you're way through the population of Hogwarts…. How?"

"We can't all pine after Evans now, can we? Simply not enough of her to go around Prongs m'boy"

"She seems to be coming around to you lately James" Peter supplied helpfully defending his friend as he threw a pillow at his grinning friend.

"Thanks Pete, see Black that's good friend!" James said catching the pillow Sirius launched back at his face just in time.

"Yes James your methods of seduction are truly astonishing to behold, I look on in awe." Remus couldn't help but agree with Sirius, the day Lily Evans looked at James Potter with anything other than thinly veiled contempt would be the day Dumbledore showed up to the great hall clean shaven.

He told his dear friend so, to which James replied "Well atleast she knows how I feel! How long have you been mooning over Maeve Mathers now?"

Sirius sniggered at the pun before adding "Ask her out Moony! Join in on the fun!" Remus glared at them, they knew damn well what his worry was. As nice as it was that James was dead certain his condition shouldn't matter Sirius at least should understand Remus' trepidation, growing up in the Black household as he did.

"What we need is a tie!" Peter suddenly announced to his comrades interrupting his thoughts. Three heads swung in his direction, each boy looking at him quizzically.

"Say what?"

Grinning at the realisation he knew something his brilliant friends didn't Peter sat up properly to explain. "I've heard of muggles doing it, if one of them is with a girl in a shared room they put a tie on the door to let the other lads know, you know so they don't have to walk in on one of them half naked twice a week" He gave Sirius a pointed look.

Sirius remained unfazed "See Remus, we'll get a tie…"

"We have ties Padfoot"

"…and you'll have peace and quiet when shacking up with Mathers" Remus sincerely doubted he'd ever have peace again, not with a stag, dog and rat to contend with. But if he was being brutally honest, his 'furry little problem' wasn't the only thing holding him back.

"You have done it haven't you Moony?" Asked James, as usual hitting the nail on the head.

"Done what?" He attempted to evade, knowing he was never that lucky.

"Kissed a girl you loon, snogged, frenched, necked… canoodled?" Sirius supplied helpfully wagging his eyebrows. Peter cackled and fell to his side, meanwhile James looked at Remus his brows furrowing.

He stammered for a second before answering "I'm not interested." He willed them and himself to believe it.

"Yeah right!" Both Sirius and Peter exclaimed.

Peter continued "How do you know? Its like turnips, I used to always say I didn't like them but mum always said how did I know if I didn't try them and she was right, I tried them and now I add them to every roast, they pair excellently with gravy…" He trailed of seeming to realise the other three were looking at him like he'd slobbered on their shoe.

"Don't think girls are like turnips Wormtail."

Siruis looked back to Remus "Although that is the reasoning I had before making out with Stephen Spellings, maybe you could try a bloke Moony." He grinned daringly.

"And on that note, think its time to drop it lads." James said laughing before shooting both boys a look before turning around to get changed. Remus gratefully turned to do the same.

The boys could be incorrigible, but they usually did what James said, Peter certainly did anyway.

It was later that night when Padfoot and Wormtail were in the bathroom brushing their teeth that James plopped himself down beside Remus on his bed.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about you know. Not having been with a girl before."

"I'm not embarrassed! I just have other worries!" He insisted motioning toward the half moon through the window.

"How many times do I have to tell you Remus? That doesn't change who you are, anyone disagrees, you send them my way" James gripped his shoulder. Remus felt the usual twinge of affection, he knew he was lucky to call these three idiot's friends.

Underneath James guileless gaze he could stop it from slipping out "Well, it is a bit weird, isn't it? I'm 15 Prongs and I've never kissed anyone. What kind of girl wouldn't laugh?"

"It's not weird Moony, you're not pushing 30 or anything." He rolled his eyes and paused before a maniacal grin appeared on his face, Remus groaned, that look never led to anything good. "But Moony, you wonderful man you, if that's what you're worried about…" And before Remus could react James lips were pressed against his.

James lips were soft and warm although his nose bumped into Remus' slightly. It was over rather quickly, and James lent back seemingly unfazed.

Remus sat there in shock whilst James patted him on the shoulder, "There you've done it now. If Mathers asked you've been well and truly kissed before. Nothing stopping you from asking her to Hogsmeade now!"

His shock fading Remus broke into a strained laughter "Yeah thanks a lot" He shook his head at his best friend and shoved the laughing teen off his bed. At least he had done it now, he supposed, and it has been sort of nice, though he may have preferred Maeve to James for his first kiss.

Hope you guys enjoyed.... Also on https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13966800/1/First-Kisses

#james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #marauders #harry potter #james & sirius #james & peter & remus & sirius #sirius and james #sirius & remus #marauders headcanon #marauders fanfiction #james x lily #jily love

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takamakisu · 4 years ago

Text

Connected

This is a super indulgent fanfic where Mishima actually gets treated nicely by Akira and Co. so whoooo-

Being the admin of the Phan-Site, while a job of passion, was extremely tiring. Mishima spent many sleepless nights banning trolls, replying to comments, and creating forums. Life became a routine: go to school, do homework, manage the Phan-Site. Visit the shops, manage the Phan-Site. Eat, while managing the Phan-Site. Take a nap. Phan-Site. Phan-Site.

Phan-Site.

His fingers flew like spider's legs over the keyboard of his phone and laptop, determined to carry the little world that he had created on his shoulders like a modern day Atlas. The Phantom Thieves needed him, he HAD to help them, he had to he had to-

Some jerk was going off about how the Phantom Thieves were "immoral" and "a danger to justice. Mishima automatically moved his finger to ban another troublemaker, then squinted at the username.

DetectivePrince???

Mishima blinked once, twice, and belatedly realized that Goro Akechi himself was on his site, wanting to start an argument about the moral ethics of the Phantom Thieves. A ghost of a smile flickered across Yuuki's lips, and instead of banning, he clicked the "reply" button instead. This could be a once in a lifetime opportunity, why not humor it? After letting Akechi have it, an argument between the two ensues. Other users joined the fray and laughed at the detective prince, and Mishima smugly banned the annoying, stuck up guy once he'd had his fun. What a moron. Felt good, to finally be in control.

Unfortunately, Mishima hadn't been paying attention to where he was going, and he bumped into the door of the cafeteria, shaking himself to bring his surroundings to standstill. A mild blush painted itself over his cheeks and he looked around nervously to see if anybody had noticed- and of course they had. They were hiding their mouths behind their hands with shaking shoulders, and Yuuki felt a wave of irritation wash over. "Oh yeah, sure, laugh!" he snapped. "Don't you guys have anything better to do?" In a huff, he entered the cafeteria, then stationed himself at a table in the back, as always. And as always, he kept an eagle eye on the Phan-Site. It was the last thing he checked before sleeping (if he slept at all) and the first thing he looked over in the morning. The days began to blur together, and tired became his neutral state of being. But he kept at it, because they needed him, and he needed to be needed. It was the only thing he had going for him, only thing that made him worth something..

Another day at a table alone in the cafeteria, and Mishima blinked somewhat blearily at his phone, scrolling through threads as words began to blur together. And then suddenly, his device was swiped away, and the boy looked up absolutely flabbergasted into the bespectacled face of Akira Kurusu. "Hey," Yuuki cried when the shock wore off, eyebrows furrowing. "That's mine. Give it back!" He reached for it, but Akira held it up higher, and irritation erupted in Mishima's chest. Shooting up from his chair, he angrily stared the other brunet down and leaped for his phone, clawing at it desperately. "Stop it!!!!!!"

"You are absolutely obsessed with this thing," Kurusu replied calmly, his tenor voice mellow as he kept the phone just out of reach. "Every time I see you, your face is buried in it. When was the last time you slept?" he demanded, eyes narrowing. The anger was shocked away, and Yuuki merely stared, unable to formulate a response. "You don't even remember, do you Mishima?" he frowned. Students were watching them now, mouths and eyes wide open.

"Why do you care?" Yuuki challenged, anger washing over again. "Just give me back my phone. I need it," he hollered, and his voice broke and his vision began to blur as he reached up and up and up but it wasn't enough, it wasn't enough.

"Why do you need it, Mishima?"

"Because I have to run the Phan-Site and if I don't have my phone, I can't do that!!" Yuuki's voice shot up into the higher ranges to the point he was almost shrieking, and hot tears began to leak out of his eyes and he hated it, he hated it so much. Why couldn't people just leave him alone?! "GIVE IT BACK, I SWEAR TO GOD-"

Akira grabbed his shoulders and shook him mildly, grey eyes stormy. "STOP IT." Mishima was stunned into silence, and his chest heaved. "Do you see what this thing-" and he held up the phone- "is DOING to you? You're so consumed with it that it's become like a part of you and you don't even know who you are without it anymore. The Phan-Site is not going to crash and burn if you're not there for one day. It is going to be fine. You, on the other hand, are running yourself into the GROUND. Do you ever take any time to yourself? Outside of this??"

Silence.

"This is an intervention, Mishima," Akira declared. "You are going to take better care of yourself. And I won't take no for an answer." With that, he pocketed the phone, and Yuuki stared hollowly, eyes and cheeks red from tears. "Now, come on."

"Huh? Where are we going?"

"You're coming to sit with me." Whispers began to rise like winds, and Kurusu turned on his heel to go back to his table. Mishima moved to follow him, but his surroundings became hazy and he stumbled, unbalanced. When did everything start moving….?

"Ngh-"

"Mishima?"

He was falling. The next thing he knew he was in Akira's arms, and the whispers had gotten louder. "What's the matter?" Kurusu asked, concern heavy. Yuuki didn't answer. His head felt like somebody had stuffed it full of cotton, and he couldn't think straight. "Okay, um," the taller boy stammered, "let's just..let's go to the nurse, yeah?" Putting Mishima's arm around his shoulder, the duo made their way to the nurse's office. Thankfully Yuuki wasn't ill, merely overtired, and he drifted off after a few minutes. When he came to, Akira was back. "Mornin' sleepyhead. Time to go."

"Go?" Mishima echoed, turning his head towards Akira. "Go where?"

"Home. Classes are over for the day."

The shorter boy shot up like a rocket, eyes huge. "WHAT?! I slept that long!?"

"Sure did. You gotta take better care of yourself," was the calm reply, and Mishima felt a prickle of shame. "And since you passed out before eating lunch, dinner's on me." Through the sea of people they walked to Leblanc, and Akira grabbed two plates of curry, setting one in front of Mishima. "Oh, I almost forgot," he said, "I got your phone still. Eat up, and then you can have it back." Yuuki began to eat quietly, and Akira did as well, comfortable with the silence. After a few minutes, Mishima put his fork down, surroundings blurring again, and bit his lip, burying his face in his arms.

"Woah, hey," the messy haired boy gasped. "What are you crying for? I knew Boss's curry was good, but I didn't know it was that good-"

"Why do you care?" Yuuki choked, scrubbing at his eyes. "Nobody else does. Not my parents, not anybody in the school, so why do- it's my fault your record was leaked it's my fault people hate you, Kurusu!"

"Mishima, that wasn't your fault," Akira said firmly. "Stop taking burdens that aren't yours to carry. I don't hold that against you, okay?"

"I'm sorry," Yuuki muttered, because he didn't know what else to do, or say.

"It's not your fault. And to answer your question, I care because it's what friends do."

"..friends?" Mishima whispered, looking up incredulously.

"Yup, you're my friend now. So you're stuck with me. Whoohoo!" Akira grinned, and in spite of himself, Yuuki grinned back, weakly.

"You're a great guy, you know that?"

"Nah. I'm just doin' the right thing."

"Sounds like something a Phantom Thief would say," Mishima replied with a knowing smile, and Kurusu's eyes widened slightly. "You thought you were subtle? I know that was you. I'll bet Sakamoto and Takamaki are in on it too. But don't worry! I swear not to tell a soul. That's what friends do, yeah?" he nodded, going back to his curry. "They keep‎ secrets." Akira nodded in reply.

"Thanks for being our biggest supporter. Just remember to take care of yourself, too."

After eating, Mishima went home, feeling significantly lighter, and he realized as he stepped inside he'd left his phone with Kurusu.

….oh well. He'd be okay. He had a lot to think about, anyway.

The next day, Yuuki plodded along to school, and during lunchtime began to make his way to his regular seat. But a gentle hand to his wrist stopped him in his tracks. "Hey," a feminine voice said, and he looked up into Ann Takamaki's baby blues.

"Takamaki-san??"

"Come sit with us," she went on, gesturing with her head towards the table with Sakamoto and Kurusu. "Nobody should be sitting alone!"

Mishima blinked twice. "I don't wanna be a bother or anything-"

"You're not. Come on, silly!" Ann chirped, pulling him along to where her friends were gathered. Ryuji grinned at him from ear to ear, toothily.

"Hey man! What's up?"

"I'm...good?" Mishima ventured, hesitantly taking a seat. "Thanks for letting me sit with you guys, Takamaki-san."

"Just call me Ann!" she smiled, and he nodded, slowly.

"Oh, uh- alright."

Lunch was nice, and Mishima felt wanted for once. After it was over, he stood to go, but Ann tapped his shoulder. "Hey."

"What?"

"What's your cell? So we can keep in touch."

"Oh uh..I don't have my phone on me."

"Really?" Ryuji questioned, eyebrows raised. "That thing's so attached to you it's like it's your girlfriend or something," he joked, playfully punching the brunet in the arm. Wordlessly, Akira passed Mishima his device, face set. A beat.

"Wait, why do YOU have-"

"Intervention."

"Ohhh," the blondes chorused, nodding and muttering in understanding. "So, Mishima," Ryuji went on, "I'm thinking about going to the arcade after school. You wanna come with?"

Yuuki's grin is soft but full. "That sounds fun, Sakamoto. I'd love to."

"Ay man no need to be all formal and all that. Jus' call me Ryuji."

"Ah- okay Ryuji."

"Oh, hey!" Ann piped up, pulling out her 3DS, "Almost forgot to check on my town."

"You play Animal Crossing?!" Mishima cried excitedly, then shrank in embarrassment "Ah, sorry. I just- um."

But Ann just grinned at him. "Sure do! Wanna exchange friend codes?"

"What's so excitin' about picking fruit and talkin' to animals, anyways?" Ryuji wondered. "I don't get it."

"It's relaxing!" Ann huffed, puffing up her cheeks. Mishima nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. The guy who created the game actually did so because he missed his family and he wanted the player to experience a sense of community," he explained, moving his hands as he talked. "It's helped a lot of people feel like they had somewhere to belong, if only for a while. You actually get closer to your villagers the more you talk to them too, and- they basically become like your friends!" He's rambling, and Mishima goes quiet, embarrassed again. "Um. Yeah."

"Huh. That's pretty cool," Ryuji nodded, and Yuuki grinned.

Ann exchanged friend codes and phone numbers, and Mishima felt ten pounds lighter for the rest of the day. The arcade was really fun too, and the four of them went out to eat afterwards and by the time it was time to go home, Yuuki was tired, but in the best way.

...he still hadn't checked the Phan-Site. Pulling it up, he was surprised to see that a post had been made by him, with several replies.

Hey guys! I'm not going to be quite as active for a little while, I've been super tired lately. I'll still be here of course, but I need some time to recuperate. ~Admin

To his shock, an overwhelming amount of the replies were positive.

That's OK! Take care of yourself!

Your health comes first man no sweat

get some rest king u deserve it

He's crying again. Maybe people really did care. Maybe he really didn't have to put every waking moment into this.

..but who got into his account? His phone had a password so somebody must've hacked it to-

He'd have to thank Futaba later. For now, he was going to bed. Akira was right. It wouldn't die if he wasn't there 24/7, and he had friends now; people who cared about him. Pulling up the group chat, he sent a text:

hey guys! i had a great time today. thanks for everything.

Three dots appeared, and then Ryuji replied.

[no prob bro]

[we shud hang out more]

Ann was next.

[yw! we had a good time too :)]

And then Akira.

[nbd

im going to bed now gn]

[good night!]

Mishima put his phone away and drifted off, looking forward to school for the first time in a very long time. Life wasn't magically sunshine and rainbows now, but with 3 new friends, it was going to be a lot easier.

#persona 5 #persona 5 royal #yuuki mishima #akira kusuru #ann takamaki #ryuji sakamoto #akechi is here too but he's only mentioned so yeah #i really like how this turned out #i may write more of these cuz i really like writing mishima interactions with the main cast.#📖; jazzy drabbles

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

Text

Please Don’t Take My Crown Just Because You Can (Olivia Lux x Trixie Mattel) - Plastiquedoll

read on ao3 👑

Summary: It was a bad idea. Trixie knew it from the second she signed up for it. Her stomach hadn’t been quiet from that moment on, she could barely get any sleep the previous night and her hands were constantly sweaty. How could she let her mother convince her of entering a beauty pageant? …Another beauty pageant. That was what she thought until she met Olivia and maybe -just maybe- her day got much better.

A/N: hi there! this is my entry for the rare pair fic challenge! I hope you like it <3

my train of thought for this story was the following one: rare pair challenge > 21 Jolene by Dolly Parton > Dolly Parton Trixie Mattel music > Dolly Parton movie Dumplin > Dumplin movie with beauty pageants > (break to remember that one roast joke about Ginger working with Jennifer Anniston) > pageant queens > line of the song about the Jolene’s > Olivia has a beautiful smile > Trixie was kind of obsessed with her on the pit stop > Trixie x Olivia > rare pair > Trixie x Olivia pageant queens au with Jolene somewhere

It was a bad idea.

Trixie knew it from the second she signed up for it. Her stomach hadn’t been quiet from that moment on, she could barely get any sleep the previous night and her hands were constantly sweaty.

How could she let her mother convince her of entering a beauty pageant?

…Another beauty pageant.

Only because her older sister was a pageant queen it didn’t mean she was cut from the same mold.

Even during the prior weeks when she tried that beautiful nightgown covered in sequins that fit her so well, she didn’t feel fully comfortable in it. Even in the talent category –one she was supposed to excel in since she had chosen singing- she wasn’t completely sure of the song she had picked and don’t get her start on the swimsuit category.

It was a nightmare.

Now she had paid the fee it was too late to regret it. She was already in the building, she had signed the damn application form and she had a number assigned –twelve- there was no way out even when all her senses were tingling and her body kept telling her to run away.

She took a deep breath and walked into the dressing room where her fellow competitors were already dolling up. She saw a mother stretching a corset so much the boobs of the girl were in a different color than her face and also a girl with a professional makeup team of three people doing her face, hair, and nails. This was no joke for some of them.

Of course, Trixie had been looked down on the moment she showed up and it was intimidating to walk among those trained pageant girls who whispered and tittered when she passed by their stations. Some of them might have identified her, some of them might be guessing what she was doing there.

Luckily, she found her mirror and hangers to be located in an isolated area near one of the back doors. At least she could get ready in peace.

Her mother walked into the room and it got as quiet as a church. The heads turned and immediately recognized the former Miss USA even after all those years, they also knew Trixie’s sister, Pearl, the current Miss Teen America; with both proud achievements under her arm, her mother solemnly crossed the place to her station with a couple of makeup bags on her hands. She greeted everyone with her fakest smile and then she looked at her daughter.

“Ronan will get your stuff in a moment.” She caressed Trixie’s hair. “Brush your hair, it’s dry.” She said with disdain. “And pinch your cheeks, you look ill.”

Forget that part of getting ready in peace.

Trixie instinctively grabbed a brush while her mother went mingle –and collected information about the other girls.

Suddenly, a voice surprised her.

“Hi!”

Trixie turned around and froze for a moment.

In the contiguous mirror labeled number thirteen, there was a girl with a bathrobe, rollers on her dark brown hair and by far the most beautiful smile Trixie had ever seen, the kind that made people go weak on their knees, with her not being the exception.

She’s beauty and she’s grace, she takes my breath away.

She looked like she had just arrived as well. Her makeup bags were closed and her dresses were in bags.

“It seems we’re going to be neighbors today.” She kept flashing her dazzling smile.

“Yeah… I mean… Hi, I’m Trixie.”

“Olivia, Liv…” She shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, Trixie. If you don’t mind, may I ask you a question?”

Trixie would later find out that was Olivia’s catchphrase.

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Where can I find a plug for my phone?”

“Behind the mirror.”

“Oh, thank you… by the way I love your hair.”

Trixie touched her messy blonde hair she hadn’t even styled yet and wondered if that was a tactic but Olivia seemed genuinely nice. The girl sat on her chair and started doing her makeup, -Trixie needed to do the same but she also wanted to keep talking to her.

But before she could say something else, her mother came back with the bags with her outfits.

“Bad news is that Violet is here but maybe you can beat her in the talent portion, good news is that there was a blizzard and Naomi couldn’t take the flight.” She sounded way too excited about that.

“Jeez, mom…”

“What? Know your competitors.” She stared at Olivia. “And who do we have here? I’m afraid I don’t remember your name, darling.”

“I’m Olivia Lux, Mrs. Mattel. We haven’t met but it’s such an honor.”

Her mother smiled and shook her hand. “Lovely.” She looked at Trixie again. “We have a lot of work to do.”

“I’ll do my makeup.” She began taking her brushes out of the bag.

“Good idea, don’t apply too much the judges didn’t like it last time.”

At that point, Trixie just wanted her mother to be gone for a hot second since that was the only moment she could get to relax while doing something she enjoyed and she couldn’t fully do that under her eagle eye. She was already stressed by the rehearsals and the competition, she didn’t need any more pressure over her shoulders.

As if her thoughts were heard, one of the other mothers called Trixie’s mother’s name and she made a fuss to say hi to her and gossip some more.

“Whoa, your mother is a legend.” Olivia whispered, still a bit thunderstruck.

“I guess…” Trixie sighed. “Sorry you had to hear what she said earlier, she gets a little… in the pageant mood.”

What Trixie wanted to say was «she’s like a shark and pageants are bloodbaths».

Olivia just gestured with her hands downplaying it. “Most mothers here are like that… don’t worry.”

“By the way, where are you from? I don’t think I have seen you here before.”

Way to go, Trixie, what brings you to San Antonio, Texas to this room full of nasty people and ugly hot weather?

“I’m from New Jersey but I think the reason we hadn’t met it’s because… being completely honest, this is my third pageant.”

Trixie almost had a seizure. “What?”

She looked so calm and collected she couldn’t have guessed it was only her third time participating.

Olivia giggled. “The first beauty pageant I participated was as a dare from one of my friends back in New Jersey and I won Miss Polaris… then I tried my luck in the Miss Natural Beauty in New York and also won.” She fidgeted with her rings. “I hadn’t gone this far until now and I’m actually considering going full-time… but I don’t have many references to ask advice from.”

And she wanted to ask Trixie? Out of all girls in that room?

“I have to admit that’s pretty impressive.”

“Thank you.”

“Pageant world is… wow… exhausting? It requires a lot of effort and dedication. My mother put my sister and me in pageants since we were little so we grew up in this environment so we’re used to the viciousness of it.”

Just to think they could’ve made it into Toddlers and Tiaras if it wasn’t canceled a year before their pageant debut.

Olivia looked at her with wide eyes, expectant.

“It is also a nice place to share and form sincere bonds with other girls, like a sisterhood.”

The girl grinned. “That’s wonderful!”

“Yeah…”

“I must admit that the scholarship program of Miss Teen America is also what dragged me here today. I need to gather some more experience before even considering giving it a try and having a good score here could help me to qualify for the nationals.”

“That’s the dream…” Trixie knew about it, she had been prepared all her life to be the following to reign after her sister.

Trixie did her makeup in almost record time, she knew they had counted minutes inside the dressing room and they hadn’t rehearsed the walk or the places on the stage –they barely had some time to try the acoustic and do something similar to a soundcheck before lunch.

She needed a minute away from that place or she was going to have a breakdown. When her mother wasn’t looking, she sneaked out to the emergency stairs that had a «DO NOT CROSS» yellow sign… perfect.

To her surprise, she wasn’t the only person who had had the same idea.

“Hey, Violet.”

The girl with black hair in a purple robe with her name embroidered –she probably had her famous corset underneath- lifted her gaze. She was sitting on the stairs with a cigarette in one hand and her phone in the other.

“Needed a break?”

Trixie nodded. “I swear there’s something inside there that sucks the air of the room.”

“It’s not the air, it’s the former pageant queens sucking the youth out of your body.”

The blonde cackled. “Most likely.”

“Where’s your sister? She won Miss Teen and now she’s too good for an open call pageant?”

“Didn’t you hear? She sprained her ankle skiing a couple of weeks ago…”

“I heard that.” Violet rolled her eyes. “Now tell me what really happened.”

“She sprained her ankle trying to climb the window of her room after she sneaked to go to a college party.”

Ladies, gentlemen, and folks… Miss Teen America!

Violet snickered. “Dumb whore.”

She offered Trixie a smoke but the blonde shook her head.

“It’d fuck my throat for the talent section.”

“Maybe that’s the strategy.” A cloud of smoke came from her lips.

Trixie laughed. Violet had never needed to use a dirty tactic to win. She simply didn’t give a fuck and that was the reason Trixie liked her and the reason they had developed a certain level of camaraderie… it could be even called a friendship. Maybe what she had said to Olivia wasn’t as far from reality as she thought, maybe there was room to bond over the trauma of lost childhood and terrible mothers.

“Are you doing your baton routine?”

The raven-haired girl nodded. “This time, with a spark…” She did jazz hands, ironically.

“They are letting you do the fire thing?”

“God bless Texas or something like that.”

“I thought it was unsafe.”

“Nonsense… I could do it blindfolded… actually…”

“Pyro psychopath.”

“What about you? I saw your guitar in the dressing room. Are you finally going to sing one of your SoundCloud songs?”

Trixie sighed. “I wish… Mrs. Barbara Mattel won’t let me. She says it isn’t appealing to the public like going for a well-known classic.”

“Let me guess, Dolly Parton?”

“Yeah…”

“It’s always «yes» not «yeah», Miss Mattel.” She mocked.

“Fuck off, you skinny bitch.”

“You say it as if it’s something wrong with that.”

“I’m always hoping for you to faint during the run on the stage.”

“Because that’s the only way you could win.”

They laughed at each other. Everything was so ridiculous they needed the laughter to make things lighter.

“Well, you have competition with the singing thing…” Violet commented.

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Who?”

“That new girl from Jersey… the one that looks like she came out from a toothpaste commercial.”

“Olivia?” She asked with disbelief… well, it shouldn’t have been any surprise since she seemed like the type of girl who could do anything anyway.

“And she plays piano too.” Violet dumped the ashes of her cigarette over the stairs but she was also adding fuel to the fire.

Fuck.

Maybe Trixie was very good at singing but the judges always looked with good eyes when someone played a more classical instrument like violin or piano, it made the girls look more sophisticated than an acoustic guitar.

She was truly underestimating Olivia for being the rookie in the room but if she was as good as Violet had said, she might have reasons to be worried.

Back in the dressing room, her mother nagged her for disappearing before getting the curlers on. She had her hair pulled and entangled in the plastic tubes under a pink cap. Some girls had left in rounds to the rehearsal of the talents that couldn’t make it in the morning, Olivia among them.

With her not being there to bright the room a little, Trixie felt alone. She knew she had just met Olivia but there was something so radiant and charming about her that she couldn’t shake off her mind. That… and the fact that Trixie was just being gay as fuck while yearning for a competitor.

To relieve her anxiety, she lulled herself with her autoharp and one of her songs that wouldn’t make it into the program.

“Whoa… that was beautiful.” The voice of the girl woke her from her reverie.

She hadn’t noticed Olivia had returned since she was so mesmerized with the music, closing her eyes and feeling it with her heart.

Olivia clapped and smiled, even brighter than before.

“Is what you’re going to play on today’s talent show?”

Trixie shook her head. “It’s mine, actually. I don’t think the public would respond as you just did.”

“What are you saying? It sounds terrific… I wish I could write songs too, what a great talent.”

“You’re just being polite… pageant polite.”

“I’m not…” Olivia reached for her hand and Trixie felt butterflies flapping on her stomach, no stage fright related. “Your music is wonderful, I mean it.”

She didn’t want to let go of Olivia’s hand but at that moment, there was a commotion in the dressing room that attracted all stares.

It was Alyssa Edwards, the hostess of the pageant and mother of the current Miss Teen Venus. Trixie had overheard her mother calling her things before but the second she walked in, everyone shut up. She didn’t look content at all.

“Miss Atlanta…” She called. “The color one.”

Violet.

“Violet has been disqualified from today’s competition.” She announced, as serious as she could be about it.

“What?!” Trixie looked around, she was nowhere to be seen.

“There has been an accident during the rehearsal of her talent and since the board and the judges consider it to be too dangerous and the lil’ miss refuses to change it… there’s no other choice but to continue without her.” She explained, reading a piece of paper she had in her hands. “Also, Miss Violet argues there had been some type of sabotage involved…”

The word sabotage made the room explode into an uproar. Alyssa was only the messenger but the women assembled in front of her demanding explanations and repeating how nonsensical the accusation was.

“Ladies, ladies…” She tried to get their attention but finally the only way she could do it was whistling loud enough to leave everyone deaf. “Ladies! I know this is a severe accusation but I promise you we’ll be taking action into the matter and proceeding with the corresponding investigation. This is not the image of any Miss Teen Venus and if the allegations turn to be true there will be a prosecution and punishment of such acts.” She shushed a pageant mom that was about to protest. “Margaret, sit your ass down no one wants to hear it.”

Trixie’s mother looked ecstatic. “Yes!” She celebrated in a lower voice.

Trixie just shook her head.

Violet returned to the dressing room wearing what to Violet was pedestrian clothing to pick her things about half an hour later, she looked done with everything and everyone there. She didn’t even mind the stares and whispers –even during rough times she shone for her confidence-, her mother behind her, however, kept ranting about the level of unprofessionalism showed and how they were going to regret it.

Trixie approached her station when things were cooling down a little.

“Hey, what the fuck happened?”

Violet sighed. “I don’t know, there was something wrong with the baton or the kerosene, this has never happened before.” She crossed her arms on her chest. “My mother thinks there’s a conspiracy going on and I just want to sleep on the plane and cuddle my cat back at home.”

“But like… do you really think someone deliberately tried to mess up with your act?”

“I have no clue but… I never make mistakes and that’s not an exaggeration.” She gathered her things. “If someone’s really sabotaging people you should watch your back.” She put a pair of designer sunglasses on.

“…we don’t need this trashy fifth category contest; Violet has a modeling contract…”

“I have to get my mom out of that argument. See you at the nationals I guess.”

“No «break a leg» or something?”

“You don’t need my help with that.” She waved her hair on her way out.

“Bitch…”

Alyssa called them for the runway rehearsal a couple of minutes after.

“Tracy,” She pointed at Trixie. “you go before Peronka.”

Trixie and Priyanka exchanged a look. To be fair, Priyanka was a newbie but still, it was funny that Alyssa confused their names so badly.

“Olivia, you go next.”

Of course, she remembered her name.

They paraded in their robes with curlers and clips on their hair pretending it was the real thing. They had to smile, wave, stuck their stomachs, stretch their shoulders, elongate their necks and look absolutely fabulous while wearing heels.

Olivia, just like the pageant she had won before, was a natural. She gracefully walked upstairs, sashayed all over the stage, and posed like a professional.

Trixie couldn’t keep her eyes off her to the point Priyanka had to elbow her to move.

“It got you hard this time…” She murmured.

“Shut up, Peronka.”

The first round they all had to wear the same simple v-neckline blue dress –not Trixie’s favorite color to wear- with a sad matching pump but it was just one lap to show their charms while playing a corny song about being Miss Teen Venus and all the qualities that came with it –did anyone else notice that it sounded oddly similar to Dancing Queen? Because Trixie did.

They also had a short presentation and because of that reason, Trixie didn’t let her mother rub vaseline on her teeth before stepping out the stage.

“Good evening, everyone. My name is Trixie Mattel, I’m from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I enjoy playing the acoustic guitar and composing my own songs. The people who inspire me the most are Michelle Obama, Dolly Parton, and my mom whom I love very much.” She smiled widely.

The judges nodded and wrote something down.

Alyssa in her all glitter, all glam golden gown and perfect huge blonde hair read the card, and after Trixie was done she commented. “Isn’t she lovely, folks?”

Claps from the audience and then her cue to leave the center of the stage and get in line next to Priyanka –always keeping the poise and the smile.

Olivia was next.

“Miss Olivia Lux.” Alyssa presented.

“Good evening, everyone. My name is Olivia, I’m from Buena, New Jersey. The activities I like the most are performing on a stage, playing the piano, and cooking with my mom and my grandmother. The people who inspire me the most are Malala Yousafzai, Kamala Harris, and Beyoncé Knowles.” She giggled.

“Adorable!” Alyssa said into the microphone.

Oh, she was good-good.

It reminded Trixie of the time Pearl went against Valentina, her smile also charmed the judges effortlessly making her sister lost that pageant.

Okay, the first round was done. The talent portion was next and Trixie hadn’t been that nervous before.

There were twenty –well, nineteen- girls competing that night, and some of them were really good. The swimsuit portion was something Trixie just preferred to ignore it happened; she was embarrassingly looking at one particular lady but she did her best pretending she wasn’t –even when her face was probably as red as her swimsuit-. Next were the talents and they went from juggling, opera singing, gymnastics to some awful singing, uncoordinated tap dancing, and some slips and falls -those that fail were often the most entertaining.

After Priyanka’s interpretative dance, it was Trixie’s turn.

She was on her country pink leather bodysuit with her Texan boots and big brushed hair. She held her pink glittery guitar near to her.

Alyssa was about to announce it when she felt a hand over her shoulder.

It was Olivia.

“Hey, I just wanted to wish you good luck. I’m sure you’re going to kill it.”

Trixie squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”

She took a deep breath before walking onto the stage.

“…here she is, Trixie Mattel!”

“Good night, everyone, how are you doing?” She displayed her white teeth. If something, Trixie felt comfortable in front of an audience when she had her guitar with her. “I hope you all know this one… because if you don’t… ”

She knew the chords by heart, as soon as she plucked the strings she got into character, moving her body and dancing around. The audience recognized the first couple of notes of Jolene right away. They could say she foreshadowed it on her presentation so no one should’ve been surprised at all.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I’m begging of you please don’t take my man

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please don’t take him just because you can

People started clapping along and mouthed the words.

Your beauty is beyond compare

With flaming locks of auburn hair

With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

She was having a great time and then, the lyrics came out of her mouth and her eyes directed to the girl behind the curtains who was still looking at her performance even when she was next.

Your smile is like a breath of spring

Your voice is soft like summer rain

And I cannot compete with you… Jolene

«Your smile is like a breath of spring» that single sentence could be used to describe Olivia perfectly and Trixie didn’t stop staring at her while pronouncing every word.

The rest of the song went even better, she really engaged with the audience. Trixie was very good at impersonating Dolly but she also liked giving it a little twist here and there, letting her personality shine through the music.

She had done a better job than that other girl that attempted to do These Boots Are Made For Walkin’. People gave her a full standing ovation, that was the best feeling in the world.

She was still shaking with adrenaline post-show when she crossed paths with –probably- her biggest competition of the night.

Olivia, who looked polished and gorgeous on a halter aqua short dress, her hair perfectly tight in an up-do and that blinding smile…

“Trixie you were fantastic! I knew you were going to do a great job but you really gave a show out there.”

“Thank you… break a leg… uh…”

“I’m so nervous.” She peeped over the blonde’s shoulder. A member of the staff was setting Olivia’s keyboard in the meantime Alyssa thanked the pageant sponsors.

“Look, the judges already love you so you just have to do your best out there and… have fun.”

Olivia nodded and hugged Trixie tightly before heading to the main stage.

Trixie was out of breath.

She knew her mother was going to go crazy if she was late back in the dressing room to change to her nightgown but it didn’t matter. She wanted to be there, supporting Olivia just like she did.

“Without further delay, Miss Olivia Lux.” Alyssa announced.

Olivia started playing the notes of For Elise on the keyboard and the audience was already fascinated by it but then, she pressed a couple of buttons that added rhythm to the classical symphony and the song became For Albert by Sarah Jackson-Holman. Olivia’s voice was also lovely and it complimented the song very well. She had an amazing stage presence and that was what made her performance stand up.

She guessed that the line «Your voice is soft like summer rain» also applied to Olivia.

Trixie was bewitched watching her leaving it all on the stage and so were the judges. She was surely scoring high with that interpretation. The audience gave her the second standing ovation of the night, well-earned.

Trixie herself was clapping like her biggest fan.

“That was amazing!” She celebrated the other girl.

“Oh my God… you watched it?”

“Yes, I wouldn’t miss it.”

Olivia was about to cry. “Thank you…”

“Hey, hey… save those tears for the end or you’re going to ruin your makeup.”

“Okay…” She sobbed but her face remained dry and her makeup flawless.

Back in the dressing room, Trixie’s mother wasn’t around which was strange since she was the first to boss Trixie around as soon as she put a step in.

She didn’t pay much attention since something else happened in the contiguous station, number thirteen.

“This cannot be happening…” Olivia was on the verge of a panic attack. “It has to be here somewhere.” She sounded so afflicted it made Trixie feel about whatever was going on before even knowing the details.

“What is it?” She asked.

“Oh, Trixie…” She fell into her arms. “It’s terrible, just terrible…” She was trying her best not to cry, Trixie could tell. “My nightgown has disappeared!”

“What?! No, that can’t be. Where was it last time you saw it?”

“In the hanger with my other dresses… It was here before the talent show I just saw it… My mom went to check on the car just in case but… I swear it was here. You have to believe me.”

Trixie stroked Olivia’s back trying to comfort her, even when she wasn’t the most affectionate person and having this type of contact was difficult to her, with that girl it was innate… she felt in need of protecting her.

“I believe you. We’re going to find it, okay? I promise it. We still thirty minutes before our turn.”

“Thank you… you’re a great friend.”

She smiled at Olivia.

Something shady was going on and Trixie was going to find out what it was.

She went out the hallway; neither of the other girls had seen something so if someone really stole Olivia’s dress it had to be while the girls were performing on the stage. Olivia’s mother did what she could to make time but finally decided to tell Alyssa was for the best, the hostess had cursed in her southern accent but assured the lady that they were also going to look for the emerald green nightgown.

Trixie finally found her mother next to the coffee machine with a cigarette in her hand.

“Mom, Olivia’s dress was stolen from the dressing room, where you around it before the talent show?”

She frowned and shook her head, the cigarette hung on her mouth unlighted. “No clue. Kids should be careful with their things.” She looked at Trixie from head to toe. “Why aren’t you dressing up already?”

“I’ll do it in a second. We’re trying to find her dress or she’s not going to make it to the next round.”

“Why do you care? You should be responsible for yourself and yourself only, Patricia. Otherwise, you’re not going to make it far in life…” She rummaged her purse trying to find a box of matches when it fell from her hands. “Shit…” She cursed.

Trixie kneeled on the floor to pick up the purse when she spotted a bottle of kerosene.

She picked the item and looked at it carefully and then she looked at her mother.

“Isn’t this the thing Violet uses for her baton routine?”

“I don’t know, I use it to clean…”

“Mom… What are you doing with this in your purse?”

“Oh, c’mon, Trixie. Give it to me.” She snatched the bottle from her hands and lighted up her cigarette with the matches. “You didn’t see anything.”

It suddenly made sense.

“You were the one who sabotaged Violet’s act, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh my God… you did.” Trixie was speechless. “Did you steal Olivia’s dress too?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, why would I do any of that?”

“Because you don’t think I can win on my own… You’ve been obstructing the competition all day long.”

“Fine, whatever… yes. I don’t think you can win on your own and these little amateurs cannot beat you… you’re a Mattel, do you have an idea what that name represents? The legacy that’s over your shoulders?”

“You got no shame at all, do you? What’s next? Are you going to throw marbles all over the stage?” Trixie felt like she was about to throw up. “Where’s Olivia’s dress?”

Her mother jeered. “Do you really believe I’m going to tell you? Please… Now go back to the dressing room and put some fucking vaseline on your teeth, I didn’t pay for your braces all those years for you to look like a bitter hag.”

“You’re going to regret this.”

Trixie really wanted to yell something at her but a plan was already forming on her mind and if it worked, her mother was going to get what she deserved.

“Any news?” Olivia asked with a spark of hope in her voice.

Trixie’s heart broke in the spot. She shook her head.

“I’m sorry, Liv. I couldn’t find it.”

“Oh no… Alyssa said if I don’t go out in fifteen minutes they’ll have to continue without me and I’ll be disqualified from the category meaning I won’t win in points…” She buried her face in her hands.

“Not necessarily.” Trixie squeezed her shoulder. “Fortunately for you… and because I come from a great tradition of pageant winners, I’ve learned to always go to a competition with a back-up.” She pulled a bag that was previously hanging next to her.

Olivia’s face lit up. “What is it…? Are you serious?”

Trixie nodded. “You can wear this one… now, obviously we’re not the same size but I think it can fit you just well with a couple of quick adjustments.”

“Oh my goodness… Trixie…” She was trying to find the right words. “You’re the best.” She embraced the girl into a hug.

Trixie beamed. “Don’t worry, it’s going to be alright. Text your mom you have a dress and get ready… I need to get a bottle of hairspray I left in the hallway, okay? I’ll see you behind the stage.”

“Okay…” She nodded. “Right. I’ll do that. Thank you, thank you… I cannot express it enough.”

“Hey, that’s what friends are for.”

Olivia held her hands. “You’re a wonderful person, Trixie Mattel.”

She felt a sting of guilt on her stomach. “I am…”

Trixie’s mother was about to enter into cardiac arrest when she found her daughter who was next in line, not ready.

“Trixie, where the hell were you? It’s almost your turn… where’s your dress?”

“I’m not going to walk on that stage, mom. I don’t want to win, not like this at least. It’s not fair.”

Her mother rolled her eyes. “Don’t start with me, Patricia. Do you have an idea of everything I had to do for you to be here tonight?”

“I do… that’s why I’m out of this competition. I already informed Alyssa I’m out.”

“You did what? Spoiled brat… Where is she? I’m going to find her and tell her you’re completely out of your mind… you’re being irrational and complicated and… you’ll see when we get home.”

Trixie’s mother tried in vain to convince Alyssa but she kept repeating “Barbara, please…”

The girls were starting to get in line and Trixie saw that Olivia was looking around trying to find her, when she did, she was highly surprised.

Olivia looked stunning in that shimmering pink-peach dress, the sequins fell over and sparked whenever she moved, she had added some orange accents to her makeup and an orange lily flower on her hair –Trixie was sure she had seen that flower on a vase at the reception but she wasn’t going to discredit her resourcefulness.

“You look so beautiful…” Trixie admired.

“Thank you… But… where’s your dress? Why aren’t you ready?”

“I dropped out.” She confessed. “This competition wasn’t for me so go ahead and kill it as you did before.”

“Wait- Is this?” Alyssa announced the category. “This is the dress you were supposed to wear, isn’t it?”

“It’s okay… It looks amazing on you anyway.”

“Trixie, no… I can’t do it. I can’t accept it…” The girls started walking.

“Listen, Olivia. I have a very good reason to resign but you don’t. This is a gorgeous gown and one of us should wear it tonight… and I’m glad is you.”

Olivia pouted. “Trixie…”

“No tears… no tears… make me proud, okay?”

Olivia held Trixie’s hand until it was her turn and even then, she didn’t let go until her fingers slid from her hand.

To no one’s shock, Olivia nailed the interview round and she truly wore that gown as if it had been made specifically for her. Trixie’s mother kept grumbling on the back and tried to light up another cigarette in the close environment, finally, a guard escorted her out of the venue while she kept repeating do you know who I am? I’m Miss USA!

But Trixie only had eyes for Olivia and that flashing smile of hers…

When she walked out of the stage, she almost overthrew the blonde.

“Trixie! I think there’s a chance I might win this…”

“You’re going to win this.” She assured.

Trixie knew one or two things about pageants and the way the judges reacted to her was more than just good.

After Alyssa announced the top five and Olivia’s name was among them, she knew she was going to win.

“Ladies, gentlemen, folks… it’s time to announce the results of our pageant of Miss Teen Venus 2021… Could the finalists please step forward?”

Trixie had her fingers crossed.

“For the title of second runner-up we have… Miss Priyanka!”

Everyone cheered when the girl in the red gown waved at them, Priyanka was probably just happy that Alyssa caught her name… finally.

“Our first runner-up is… Miss Crystal!”

The red-haired girl that had won the audience over with her personality waved enthusiastically.

“And now… for the title of Miss Teen Venus… let’s welcome my daughter Tiara, the past winner of this pageant who’s ending her reign tonight.”

Trixie sometimes wondered if no one founded it weird that Alyssa’s daughter was named after an object that was so common across the pageant world when she was also… a pageant queen… maybe it was just her.

The soon-to-be-former Miss Teen Venus looked exquisite in a white gown with her big tiara and flower bouquet.

“And now… the moment we all been waiting for… the judges have made their decision… Our new Miss Teen Venus is…”

Drum roll…

“Miss Olivia Lux!”

Trixie cheered as loud as she could, the pageant theme song started playing –really? No one? It was basically a Dancing Queen rip-off…- and there were glitter and confetti canons… Olivia got her sash, her crown, and her flowers. She was now shedding tears of pure joy and the cameras were flashing almost as much as her smile.

She looked jubilant and Trixie was just happy to witness it.

She had to take pictures with her family, with the judges, with the former winner, with Alyssa… it took a good fifteen minutes before she could leave the stage with the hostess wrapping up the event and saying goodnight to everyone.

Trixie was still shaking behind the curtains when Olivia walked down the stage, she opened her hands to hug the winner but instead, Olivia cupped her face and planted a kiss on her lips. Trixie suddenly felt dizzy and that ninety percent of her body was turned into jelly.

“Sorry… I’ve been wanting to do that for a while… maybe it was rushed and without permission I-”

But before she knew it, Trixie was kissing her back.

“Congratulations… Miss Teen Venus.” She said, breathless.

Olivia grinned and looked at her with pure devotion in her eyes.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“You deserve it.”

“This means I can go to the nationals now!” She wiggled with excitement.

“That’s right.”

“And do you know what it means?” She wrapped her arms around Trixie and pulled her closer again.

“That we’re going to meet again?”

She nodded, her crown almost fell out.

“And that next time… we’re going to compete for real.”

“I’d like that.”

“But until then… may I kiss you again?”

She didn’t need to hear the words to get the response to that question.

read on ao3 ✨

#rpdr fanfiction #olivia lux #trixie mattel #olivia x trixie #rare pair #fic challenge #song fic #beauty pageant #lesbian au #jolene by dolly parton #don’t take my crown just because you can #plastiquedoll #concrit welcome

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patandpran · 4 years ago

Text

The Two of Us

Thank you to the anon that requested an angsty OhmFong fic... this is the result! Hope you enjoy!

Still feel like I need to credit @yangkoogan @gaysarawat @earthfluuke for my obsession with OhmFong...

At a distance, always at a distance…

Fong was never more than a text or an arm’s length away and yet the distance between Ohm and Fong was vast.

This was especially the case since Tine had started to hang out with them again. His relationship with Sarawat was finally out in the open despite everyone and their dog knowing it was heading in that direction so Tine had more to talk about than just the broody guitar player that he so obviously had feelings for. Fong had been right at Tine’s side throughout this experience, encouraging his friend to follow his feelings rather than his rational thought and worry about judgment from others.

Before they knew Tine, it had just been Ohm and Fong. They had been friends since Ohm could remember but as soon as Tine entered the picture, their relationship fractured somehow. Ohm saw the way that Fong looked at Tine liked he was something precious that could slip away at any moment. Fong had never looked at Ohm that way and that reality felt like a stab right to Ohm’s gut.

Ohm recalled the first time he saw Fong sitting at the edge of the playground, head buried in a book and glasses slipping down his nose. Ohm instantly wanted to know more about the isolated stranger but it took him a few weeks to work up the courage to approach his future best friend. Ohm had approached Fong silently and slowly sat down next to in his usual reading spot. Fong seemed to sense Ohm’s presence and closed his book, cocking his head to the side and looking at Ohm with a mix of curiosity and confusion. When Ohm didn’t know what to say and the silence began to border on awkward, Fong had reached into his schoolbag and pulled out another book and handed it to Ohm. While Ohm had never been a big reader, the gesture was so sweet and a symbol of an offered friendship that Ohm had spent the rest of the lunch break pretending to read while discretely staring at Fong out of the corner of his eye. The rest was history.

After that day, Ohm and Fong were the best of friends. Their parents always teased them about how much time they spent together but it never bothered either of them. They were happy to have one great friend who accepted them and supported them through both the good and the bad times. Fong helped Ohm when he almost failed Math, Ohm was there to hold Fong closely when Fong’s Grandmother passed away, Fong helped Ohm when his parents announced their divorce and Ohm protected Fong when a few of their schoolmates decided that Fong was the perfect punching bag. They were a dynamic duo and never really made a point of trying to connect with other kids their age. They had one another. That was more than enough.

It had been just Ohm and Fong until high school which is where Tine and Phuak came into the picture. Phuak was a new student and basically forced his friendship on Ohm and Fong but Tine had been a different story. Fong noticed Tine by himself one day during a break in classes, wandering around the hallways looking lost and had made a point of approaching Tine. Ohm remembered the interaction as vividly as if it had occurred yesterday because it was the moment that he felt a rift appear between him and Fong.

Fong fell hard and fast for Tine and while he refused to admit it aloud, Ohm saw his friend’s feelings appear the first time Fong saw Tine. During their high school years, Fong tortured himself by watching Tine cycle through girlfriend after girlfriend. Ohm was always sympathetic to Fong’s random mood swings when Tine would introduce another fling to the gang. He made sure to take Fong out for his favourite ice cream on those days to distract his best friend from the sadness he was experiencing because of Tine’s complete ignorance. Ohm wondered how Tine could not see how Fong looked at him but Ohm also never made a point of sharing the reality of Fong’s feelings with Tine.

Ohm did not know how he would be able to navigate the situation if Fong and Tine ever did end up together. The thought made him sick to his stomach, not because he didn’t want Fong to be happy, but because he was the one who should be making Fong happy, not Tine. This secret burned in Ohm’s mind and though it took him many years to recognize that his own feelings for Fong stretched beyond the realm of friendship, he knew that Fong would never feel the same way.

By the time they reached university, Tine was even more on the prowl than he had been in secondary school. When Green started to follow Tine around, Ohm saw how envious Fong looked of Green: how boldly and publicly he was able to declare how he felt about Tine. Fong also was fiercely protective of Tine so the gang’s sole focus became keeping Tine from Green.

While it had never been Ohm’s intention to have the fake dating plan with Sarawat turn into a real relationship, Ohm was pleasantly surprised how much alone time the whole setup gave him and Fong again. Phuak was ever consumed with his Youtube channel so Ohm and Fong were starting to get back to how they were before Tine disrupted everything. As much as Fong seemed to be in distress watching Tine fall for Sarawat, Ohm was there to quietly and discreetly support his friend through the mourning process. Fong had bounced back quicker than Ohm had expected which made him wonder if Fong’s feelings for Tine were beginning to fade.

But now that Tine and Sarawat’s relationship had settled into their honeymoon phase, Tine had noticed how little time he spent with his friends and made a concerted effort to reconnect with the gang. Ohm cursed this sudden change in Tine’s perception as Tine usually could not see past the end of his own nose and usually operated in a rather selfish manner. His relationship with the campus heartthrob seemed to be doing wonders for Tine’s self growth and Fong was going out of his way to spend as much time with Tine as possible, even if it meant changing plans that he and Ohm had had in place for weeks.

Ohm wondered if he would ever have Fong’s full attention. He knew that his best friend would never look at him the way that Ohm wanted but he was grateful for whatever scraps he could get. It sometimes made him feel ridiculous and desperate but Fong was worth the wait, even if they were never more than just best friends.

As long as they were close, Ohm was fine but recently it seemed like Fong was drifting out of reach…

“Ohm.”

It was a rare occasion where Ohm and Fong found themselves alone. They were studying in Fong’s dorm room, each on one side of Fong’s study desk. Ohm had been zoning out overthinking things as he usually did when Fong called him back to the present.

“Ohm, are you feeling okay?” Fong asked and cocked his head to the side in a way that reminded Ohm of their first meeting. “If you need to take a break from studying, we could go grab something to eat before we got to the show later…Tine and Phuak said they’d meet us there.”

“I think I’ll pass.” Ohm muttered, feeling dejected that Tine had already been brought up in the few moments they had together. “I probably need to get as much studying in as I can or I’ll get an earful from the professor.”

“I can make you a study guide.” Fong expressed with a sympathetic look in his eyes. “That way you can come see the show and still feel okay about your exam.”

Ohm dropped his chin into his hands. “You can go to the show without me. It’s fine.”

“Are you running a fever?” Fong put down the textbook that he had been studying on the table and reached across to press a hand to Ohm’s forehead. He bit his lip and sat back down in his chair, “You’re fine. I don’t get it…. why don’t you want to go? There hasn’t been a time where we’ve managed to get the whole gang together for weeks!”

This made Ohm even less interested in going. “I’m fine, Fong. I just need some alone time. I don’t need to be around the gang always like you do….”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Fong was starting to get frustrated. He only ever got this way when he didn’t understand something, otherwise he was usually able to keep his emotions in check.

Ohm wondered how someone as smart as Fong could be so dense. He felt frustration rising in him as well and blurted out, “I don’t need to be around Tine and Phuak all the time. It was better when it was just the two of us.”

Ohm regretted the words as soon as they passed through his lips but knew he would never be able to take them back. In less than two sentences, Ohm worried that he had ruined everything, especially with the blank stare that Fong was giving him.

“I… what do you mean, Ohm?” Fong practically whispered, searching his friend’s eyes for some further explanation or justification for this sudden outburst.

Ohm hung his head in defeat and moved to stand up. “I think it’s best if I just go…”

He moved toward the door to escape the utter humiliation of his ill-received confession. Just as he was about to put his hand on the doorknob, he felt Fong thread his arms under Ohm’s and pull him into a hug from behind. The unexpected contact caused Fong’s breath to hitch in surprise as he felt Fong’s hot breath dance across his shoulder blades.

Fong nuzzled his head into Ohm’s back and murmured, “You can’t go. You don’t get to just leave me. That’s not how this works.”

Ohm’s fists clenched. He knew that Fong meant losing him as a friend and the internal battle of Ohm’s feelings for Fong was at its peak. Ohm knew that Fong just wanted to his best friend and while Fong did not understand what was going on, he still was willing to fight for Ohm which just felt like another stab to Ohm’s gut.

He took a deep breath and slowly turned maneuvered himself sot hat he was facing Fong. Fong’s arms were still tightly wound around Ohm as if he was terrified that to let Ohm go lest he disappear forever. Ohm looked down at his concerned friend and sighed deeply before muttering, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Fong rested his head against Ohm’s chest and Ohm tried desperately to keep his heart rate in check. “I didn’t know that you wanted to spend more time just the two of us… why didn’t you tell me before?”

Ohm was beyond conflicted. He felt as if he was being tugged in too many directions. This is what we wanted, more time to spend with Fong alone but he was just setting himself up for self-torture.

If he didn’t say it now, he knew he never would so with a deep breath, Ohm shared his truth: “Because I want more than you can give me.”

Ohm gently unwound Fong’s arms from him so there was space between them again. He didn’t dare to look Fong in the eyes and moved once again toward the door to make his escape. The shame and regret he was experiencing was enough to make him break down right then and there but he kept himself in check enough to take his leave from Fong.

“But maybe I can.” Fong cried out and made Ohm freeze in his place. “Maybe that’s what I want too.”

Ohm turned quickly and felt like he was looking at Fong for the first time. Ohm shared, his voice wavering slightly, “You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better, Fong. I’ll get over it… I’ll just need some time and space.”

“No. You’re not hearing me.” Fong closed the distance between them again, clutching Ohm’s hands in his own. “I don’t want space. I don’t want time. I want us.”

Before he could even properly registered Fong’s words, Fong had reached up and pressed his lips to Ohm’s. Ohm instantly melted into the kiss that he had been imagining in his mind for years. It was hard for him to embrace the fact that he was really kissing the very person he loved more than the world.

The kiss stretched on and even though Ohm did not want it to end, he pulled away slowly, wanting to take stock of where Fong was at. Fong’s cheeks were flushed and he had a somewhat distant look in his eyes that Ohm had never seen before.

“Fong, are you okay?” Ohm questioned.

A grin spread across Fong’s lips and he murmured, “I’m great. I’ve just been thinking about doing that for a long time…”

“Seriously?” Ohm asked, in complete shock. It turned out that maybe he was the ignorant one in this whole ordeal. “I never thought… but you never said… or did anything… and Tine… I thought you… huh?”

Fong laughed at Ohm’s stuttering, “I have wanted to be more than your best friend for years. Sure, Tine is a good friend but you are…. you are everything to me.”

Ohm still wondered if he was dreaming. This was everything he had always wanted to hear from Fong but never thought it would be a reality. He pulled Fong into a tight hug and didn’t ever want to let go.

The distance between them had mended. They were no longer two being separated by an unnameable rift. Their feelings were out in the open and Ohm never wanted to go back to how they were before.

“You mean more to me than you can possibly imagine.” Ohm admitted and the words that had so often scared him suddenly put him at ease. “To me, it’s just the two us.”

#ohmfong #ohm x fong #2gether #still 2gether #my writing #gmmtv #thai bl #sarawatine #2gether fanfic

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absolute-barbarism · 4 years ago

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I’d really appreciate a short fic about, like, A n B were barely even friends but had known each other for a while. When A came down with a terrible flu and there wasn’t a frd of A available to be around and look after them. B was called to take this job half because they were told that A was really sick and half because B had always, a big, secret crush on A. Meanwhile they knew A was that kind of person who found it’s difficult to simply accept the help, the embarrassment was being expected..

i may have gotten carried away with this one

“You’re really going to A’s?” C asked in disbelief.

“Yeah,” B replied, packing their briefcase up for the day. “Someone’s got to bring them the latest manuscript. I don’t think they want to be behind when they come back to work.”

“You’re too kind for your own good, kid,” C leaned back in their chair with a grin and shook their head, scoffing. “Well. You’d better bring a bodyguard with you, then. You know how A can be.”

“I’ll...keep that in mind. Thank you,” B mumbled. “But really, I’m only going to hand over the ‘script and leave.”

It was a lie. After ringing A’s doorbell, B stood in front of their room and observed the sparsely decorated hall of their apartment while their heart beat out of their chest. They had no intention of bringing any more work to A while they were sick. It was overworking that had gotten them ill in the first place.

Word around the water cooler was that A had caught that flu bug that was going around, but although they and B weren’t really friends outside of work, B knew A long enough to know the sheer strength of their immune system. Three years of witnessing the bags under A’s eyes, the skipped lunch breaks, the endless hours of overtime, and not so much of a cold came of it. For them to have succumb to the flu, B surmised, they would have had to have been under even more severe amounts of pressure than normal.

B hadn’t realized they were staring sadly down at their shoes until the door opened. Instead of the greeting they practiced in their head a hundred times on the way, they let out a small, unready squeak.

“What are you doing here?”

A’s voice was soft. B felt their cheeks rush with heat. It was the flu, they told themselves, that probably damaged A’s throat and changed their voice a bit. They were partially right.

“I came to bring you this week’s manuscript. Er--No, wait--”

“You have the manuscript?”

“Uh--No, actually I don’t. I, uh...thought I did.”

“You thought you did?”

“No. I mean, yes, there is a manuscript, but I don’t have it with me.”

“So you...didn’t bring it?”

“Not exactly. I mean--” B cleared their throat awkwardly. A stared at them, not sure how to react. “I just came by to make sure you’re okay. If that’s, uh, okay.”

“Ah...” B thought A was making some sound of understanding, but as they leaned their forehead against the cool of the door frame, B noticed that they were just dizzy.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to confuse you--”

“No, it’s all right. Come in. I need to sit down.”

B entered their dingy one-bedroom without a word. It was only then that they noticed the savage toll A’s flu had taken on both them and their surroundings.

Sweat and the odor of unwashed dishes and laundry hung in the air over a floor B couldn’t even see under scattered blankets and garbage. Closer to A’s bed, B found themselves wading through a pool of papers, which they recognized as documents and drafts from their job. Under any other circumstances, B would be elated and nervous to be entering A’s residence for the first time. But like this, they could only feel pity. And slight disgust.

Without the strength to sit upright, A let their head dip over their knees, tangles of sheen-slick hair clinging to edges of their face.

“You can lie down,” B offered, then felt a wave of humiliation telling A they had the permission to lie down in their own home. “You probably should.”

A was surprisingly compliant. They closed their eyes, and for a split second B thought they had actually fallen asleep then and there when they murmured something B had to strain to hear.

“I’m perfectly fine. Is that all you wanted?”

It was B’s turn to stare at them.

“No offense,” they started, “...Okay, full offense. You’re room is filthy and you look like death.”

“‘Preciate it.”

“When’s the last time you ate anything?”

A let out a long, congested sigh. “This morning.”

“How many hours ago?”

“Two?”

“A, it’s 5:30. Do you even know what day it is?”

“It’s...a weekday.”

“Let me make you something to eat.”

To B’s advantage, A was too weak to argue. They turned their back to B and lazily pulled their sheets up over their shoulder, settling with a dissatisfied “mmph” when it slid back down to their bicep.

Just like that, they were out. And just like that B was left standing in the middle of A’s room with no clue what they’d gotten themselves into, and no clue what they should do next. It would be intrusive to go through A’s things, but A had kind of given the okay to do so when they agreed on B making something to eat, hadn’t they? Nodding their head without an ounce of self-confidence, B threw open A’s kitchenette cabinets.

They found nothing. Scratch that, they found ten packs of cup-noodles, but that was less than nothing. B took a step back, stumped. No ingredients, sparse cooking utensils...A was such a collected and commanding person at work, the kind you could go to with any problem and get the right answer. Learning that they kept their home no better than a college student was both surprising and exciting to B. They wondered how many other people got to know this about A. Then again, B doubted anyone else would consider it a privilege the same way they did.

There was just enough in A’s refrigerator for B to scrounge together something basic. As they waited for a pot of water to boil, they unthinkingly began to tidy up the garbage into trash bags, and the laundry at least into one hamper instead of all over the floor. They reached for one of A’s scattered papers and thought for a moment; even wracked with the flu, it was clear A was continuing to work themselves to death. B frowned as they gathered each paper into a neat little pile, then safely stowed them out of sight into one of A’s desk drawers, taking care not to peep at anything inside.

It took twenty minutes, but B had finally succeeded in cleaning up to a livable degree and preparing a small meal. There was just something nice about doing all of this for A, though they knew it wasn’t necessary at all. They went to wake A up, and found them with a rather pitiable expression.

A was sweating like rain, their chest rising and falling with intense labor as they tossed and turned. B didn’t have to feel to know their skin was burning to the touch; from their pallor alone, they looked to be on fire.

“Hey,” B whispered, shaking A’s shoulder. “Hey. Can you drink some water for me?”

A obliged as if on auto-pilot, blindly taking the water bottle B held out to them and guzzling it down. It took several moments for them to open their eyes, and when they did, they needed several more to process their surroundings.

“What did you do?” they choked, coughing feebly into their pillow. B felt a surge of anxiety; they really had gone too far after all, they should have just minded their business. Cleaning up someone else’s room was no doubt a weird thing to do.

“I just...thought I’d pick up a little. T-That’s all.”

“...You didn’t have to.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t scolding you.” A sat up on their elbow, tiredly rubbing their eyes. They still felt like shit, but the disappearance of all that clutter had lifted their spirits a generous amount. It didn’t seem like B noticed that however, so they ruffled their hair with a sigh. “Lift your worrywart little head. I should be sorry for troubling you this much.”

“It’s no trouble, really,” B said. “Oh--food. Here,” They offered up an unspecial little bowl of rice with egg and green onion, and a pair of chopsticks. A took it graciously, soothed by the warmth of the ceramic. “You didn’t have a lot, so...”

“I know,” A sighed. “I wish I could tell you I don’t always live like this.”

“I wish you could too.”

A snorted. B was a shy kid, which was to be expected of their junior, but their dry humor was spot-on. Though A couldn’t taste anything thanks to their sinuses trying to drown them, it satiated them better than any meal they could recently remember. They handed the bowl back to B, who went to set it down in the sink. A noticed that the sink as well was empty--B had gone so far as to do their dishes for them. If their head wasn’t in such a fog, they would be amazed.

“You know, if you took a hot shower, it might make you feel better.”

“You’re not gonna help me bathe too.”

“I didn’t say that!”

“Just messing with you.” A pinched the bridge of their nose, rolling the idea around in their head. They actually weren’t sure they could stand that long, but it had been days. Their sheets were starting to cling to their skin. “All right then. You going home?”

Damn it. B cursed themselves for their misstep. Of course, they did really want A to take a shower for their own health, but they couldn’t very well sit around in A’s place while they did. There was no reason to.

They just...didn’t want to leave them like this.

“Y...Yeah. I should probably eat dinner myself, so...”

“Thank you. For everything,” A said. “I feel like the others have made me out to be some sort of deadline-obsessed demon.”

“Not at all,” B said, replaying in their mind what C told them in before they had left.

“But you came all this way for my sake. I really do appreciate it.”

B quietly nodded their head, flushed with modesty. Having A’s approval--no, their genuine gratitude was overwhelming.

“You promise you’ll be okay if I go?”

“Better than before you got here.”

“Alright,” B began to gather their things. “Um...Try to rest if you can, okay? And call me if you need anything. You have my LINE, so...”

“I’ll text you tomorrow to let you know how I am. Just keep this between you and me though, if you don’t mind.”

B nodded. They were just about to head out the door when A called out to them one more time, stopping them in their tracks.

“B?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself too, alright?”

B smiled, a gentle, warm smile free of his anxieties from before.They looked back at A, taking a step out the door.

“I will.”

#anonymous asks #anon #thank you!#whump #illness/injury #flu #hurt/comfort #caretaking #prompts #writing #ask and you shall receive #the whumpy adventures of a&b #feel like this needs a part 2 #where b gets sick and a returns the favor #anyways #todays theme is salarymen hope you enjoy

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thelaudown · 4 years ago

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hyouka poly slowburn so its like: (post-anime)

satoshi and mayaka are dating all through highschool and houtarou and eru are maybe a little more invested than friends would normally be, and step in when they have problems to a degree that regular people would call a boundary issue.

houtarou and mayaka still give each other shit at every opportunity, but theyre much more outwardly friendly than before, and if she ever argues w satoshi houtarou is the first to say that theres no way its her fault. maybe one time it is and he confronts her abt it in a way that forces her to take him seriously. its the respect and codependency for me.

mayaka and satoshi have functioning eyes and houtarous feelings for eru are completely obvious to them. unfortunately shes a little harder to read, so they never really get further than being very close friends and committing to being together for the foreseeable future, as far as this road will take them - its the same dynamic for the entire friend group, but satoshi starts seriously considering a proposal in third year.

he and mayaka will be seperated through college - she wants to go to art school, he thinks he might like to be a teacher (specifically of like, textiles or language) and he thinks long distance is too much to ask of her. after a serious conversation she agrees and they take a break through college, but they are tentatively engaged, will be keeping in touch, and want to pick things back up once theyre both in the same location again.

mayaka and eru flat in college, bringing up mayakas long buried feelings for her, and theyve always been so touchy, and she has a feeling that erus guilty about something? but she doesnt want to get her hopes up. she gets really frustrated and confides in the only person who knows both satoshi and mayaka and isnt involved - HOUTAROU, who attends a less prestigious college than eru but is taking similar business courses (he hasnt forgotten) and is commuting from home.

hes closer to them than satoshi, but theres still a little distance and they dont meet as often as theyd like, partially bc he doesnt often make the effort - the energy he does have is expended on his classes, bc he has a motivation to do well - if he does, maybe eru will consider him without him even putting himself out there. anyway she still calls him on the phone all the time tho.

he doesnt really have any advice when mayaka speaks to him, but hes quick to reassure her that satoshi wouldnt be bothered by her feelings - "because its eru". functioning adults refer to each other by their first names. it was a super embarassing transition period but theyre used to it now.

so mayaka takes the leap and eru admits that while shes never really been one to dwell on romantic feelings, she reciprocates but is concerned abt satoshi - she loves him too, after all, and he and mayaka were/are/will be a great couple. she ends up confessing this to houtarou, filled w apologies and assurances that he neednt worry abt her personal matters, but he doesnt mind listening. anyway it stings (in a sad way, not a bitter one) that she apparently has interest in both mayaka and satoshi but not him, but he REALLY cant blame her. he tells her that he doesnt know how to advise her and she thanks him for listening, and then he does probably the most meddlesome thing hes ever done and calls satoshi and tells him everything.

satoshi is really cool abt it, and hits him w "lol if theyre dating what if i just take you out to lunch. fairs fair. what do you mean you dont know about my massive crush on you, mr observer didnt pick it up? oh wow okay youre really stupid when it comes to yourself. ill pick you up on friday" and then satoshi calls mayaka and gives her his blessing and assures that he loves them both and wishes them the best and wow they REALLY need to catch up soon. hell bring houtarou and they can compare date notes! and he hangs up.

satoshi is still kind of a petty guy and he probably only confessed to houtarou bc he was taken off guard, but hes not being inauthentic by any means. this is the new improved satoshi 2.0, who is becoming more comfortable w there being things he doesnt like abt himself and working on them and getting his feelings out constructively, rather than pushing them down and refusing to put himself in situations that might turn out badly. he gets his hopes up again, and is happier for it even when hes let down.

eru is shocked to hear abt houtarou and satoshi. mayaka isnt. they talk abt it, interspersed w making out, and are shocked to realise that they like both of them - mayaka is ESPECIALLY taken off guard, both by her own feelings and erus, which shed never noticed before. she almost tells eru abt houtarous 3+ years of pining, but stops herself lest things get messy. shes starting to get an idea, but needs to tread lightly. besides, its not like houtarou wld ever like her. theyre barely even friends. it doesnt all add up as evenly as shed like.

for houtarous part, hes genuinely in wtf mode irt satoshis feelings for him, and hes been in eru chitanda hell for so long that he never considered anything else, but now that he IS.... satoshi isnt so bad. he was always really cute w mayaka, when he wasnt being annoying for fun and profit. sure. okay. so they do some gay double dating through college, but the cross couple pining dont stop. satoshi is absolutely still obsessed w mayaka, but houtarou doesnt mind bc he cant take his eyes off eru whenever they meet up either.

she still calls him on the phone all the time, and when schoolwork picks up he often finds himself calling her w thoughts or questions. they do some more thought exercises, but they dont need to argue as an excuse, and she barely has to badger him anymore. one day he looks at himself and sees a functioning adult who spends a moderate amount of energy on things that arent necessarily necessary, and wants to sigh, but. hes happy.

college ends and they all find themselves back in kamiyama - satoshi is student teaching at their old middle school, eru is hard at work for her family, mayaka is working while she works on her manga debut, and houtarou is working while he figures out what he actually wants.

its clear to all of them that mayaka and satoshi need to have a talk, so they do, and they come up with... poly. its unconventional, but they really are happy, and they really do love each other, and mayaka would love to start wearing her ring again (satoshi never took his off, and she pretended not to notice but she had the biggest lady boner over it).

so now sometimes eru and houtarou are hanging out while their boyfriend and girlfriend are out on dates being engaged, making up for lost time and considering the practicality of marriage while they both have sidepieces, and houtarou and eru are pining BAD, but neither notices the other and he asks how her business is going and maybe kind of offers his assistance platonically.

so now THATS happening, and satoshi and mayaka get to talking one day abt how those two should date, shld we do smth? and if they did then the only pieces missing are mayaka/houtarou and satoshi/eru which is a beautiful dream but wld never happen, what do you mean he/she wld love to date you, wait really, oh my god, what, are we doing this,

and houtarou who has been working himself up to confessing for the past SEVEN YEARS, never gets to bc satoshi and mayaka interrupt while theyre at work and do it for him

#jhkgfjkfjg #hyouka #txt #god i put it in bullets to try and make it legible but im here for suggestions bc this is so much #myfic #sure thats a tag now i dont normally post much of anything but!! i want to be more active so take this #if literally anyone is out there and has poly feelings about these 4 please message me

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ambrossart · 5 years ago

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PAPER MEN

— CHAPTER 6

SUMMARY: All Evelyn Tozier wanted to do was make Derry High School a safer place for her kid brother. Well, somewhere between kissing Patrick Hockstetter and telling the principal to go f*** himself, things got a little off track. Now she’s stuck in the middle of a bizarre love triangle with two of Derry’s most troubled teens while her little brother and his friends hunt down a creepy, child-eating circus clown. This year, summer can’t come fast enough. PAIRINGS: Henry Bowers x Tozier!Sister; Patrick Hockstetter x Tozier!Sister WARNINGS: violence, profanity, sexual content, bullying, sexual assault, physical abuse, emotional abuse, all kinds of abuse, trauma, mental illness, implied/referenced self-harm, child death, angst, lots of angst, recreational drug use, underage drinking, underage sex, love triangles, toxic relationships, slow burn, slow build

WORD COUNT: 3,714

MASTERPOST

MASTERLIST

“Where’s your brother?” Evelyn heard her mother ask for the fifth time.

For the fifth time, Evelyn put down her pencil. Then she sighed. Her math homework would have to wait.

“He’s probably at the arcade,” she said, grasping the first thought that came to her mind. “Got sucked into another battle for some unreachable high score or something.” Street Fighter was her little brother’s latest obsession. He was determined to beat Grant Elmhirst’s top score. Fat chance of that. Grant was a camper. The guy practically lived at the arcade, and his pockets were always stuffed full of brass tokens. “In any case, I’m sure he’ll be home soon.” Richie never missed a homemade meal, even if it was something gross like tuna casserole.

“I hope so…”

Maggie Tozier was elbow-deep in soapsuds while a pot of water boiled on the stove. She leaned back to look at the clock. It was almost six. Strange, it wasn’t like Richie to be so late, not on a school day. He would usually come home around three-thirty and dig through the fridge for a snack, maybe even make himself a ham sandwich if that day’s lunch was especially unappealing. Then he would sit at the table and tell Maggie about his day while she scraped off egg and burnt-on grease from the morning’s dishes. She’d laugh at his jokes, pretend to understand them, and when he was finished, she’d take his dirty plate, and he’d run out the door again.

But he should have been home by now. Something wasn’t right.

Maggie threw down the sponge and rushed to the phone, her hands still dripping with soap. She dialed the Denbroughs’ number.

“Sharon, hi, it’s Maggie.” She twisted her finger around the coiled cord until the tip turned purple. “Hey, my kid isn’t over there, is he…? Oh, no, everything’s fine. He just hasn’t come home yet is all, and I thought he might be… Okay, yeah, I’ll try there next. Thanks. Buh-bye.”

She pushed down the switch and called Sonia Kaspbrak. If Richie wasn’t with Bill, then he was probably with Eddie.

“Hi, Sonia, sorry to bother you while you’re cooking, but I was just wondering if Richie was at your house. He hasn’t come home yet, and I’m starting to get a little concerned… Uh-huh… Okay… Wait, I’m sorry, what…? No, he doesn’t normally do this. He knows better than to… Oh, come on, you can’t be serious. I certainly do not let my kids run wild.”

Steam started seeping out from the pot. Evelyn got up and dumped in the noodles, gave them a stir, and set the timer for eight minutes.

“Look, my kids are perfectly well-behaved, okay? And you know what, I don’t appreciate you telling me how to raise my children. In fact, I don’t think you’re qualified to give anyone parenting advice, you crazy, judgmental bitch!”

Maggie slammed the phone on the hook and clawed through her hair with both hands. “My god, that woman is insufferable! Absolutely insufferable! Did you hear her? She had the nerve to call me a bad mother. Me!” She put her hands on her hips. “You know, Marge, if you didn’t work so much, maybe you’d have a better hold on your kids. Well, I’m sorry I have to work to put food on the table! Unlike you, I don’t get to sit on my ass and watch TV all day!”

Evelyn held in a laugh, but a small giggle escaped anyway. “Wow, let it all out, Mom. Tell us how you really feel.” She set the oven to 425.

“Oh, no.” Maggie sank into the nearest kitchen chair. The guilt was hitting her now, sitting in her stomach like a pound of spoiled beef. She felt like she was about to throw up. “Oh, I can’t believe I called her a bitch.”

“A crazy, judgmental bitch.” And everyone wonders where Richie gets his trashmouth. Her little brother would be so proud.

“Did I really say all of that out loud? Shit.” Maggie dropped her head into her palms. “She’ll never forget that.” Sonia Kaspbrak knew how to harbor a grudge better than anyone. When the boys were in elementary school, she shunned Maggie and Wentworth for a whole year just because Maggie dared to criticize her potato salad at the summer potluck. It was bland and watery, and it made her husband sick, so Maggie refused to apologize for something so silly. “Well, I don’t think Eddie will be allowed over here for a while, if ever.” She lifted her head and said in a pained voice, “Sweetie, can you take the wine out of the fridge, please?”

Evelyn grabbed the leftover chardonnay from Friday night’s dinner and poured her mother a generous glass. It was gone in three big gulps, vanishing before her eyes like one of the magic tricks her brother used to perform in the living room. And, poof, it’s gone, ladies and gentlemen! Have you ever seen anything so amazing?

Evelyn hated seeing her mother like this. “Do you want me to go look for Richie? I will if you want. I’ll go right now. I’m sure he just lost track of time.” Richie didn’t carry a wristwatch. He used to, but he kept breaking it.

“You’re probably right.” Besides, her husband would say, what kidnapper would want our son? Five minutes of his yapping and they’d drop him right back on our doorstep. You know I’m right. Sorry, Mags, looks like we’re stuck with the kid.

Maggie would have laughed if she wasn’t so close to tears. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just… you know, with everything that’s happened…”

“With the Durseys.” Evelyn understood. “You don’t have to apologize.”

It was around this time last year that Gracie Dursey went missing. Evelyn had seen her that afternoon while she was sitting on the porch and lacing up her skates. Gracie had wanted to come with her. (I’m good now, Evie! I almost never fall.) Next time, Evelyn promised. Next time, she and Gracie would do a couple of laps around the neighborhood and then get some ice cream at Barton’s. Mud pies were her favorite.

The kitchen timer beeped. Maggie Tozier got up to drain the pasta.

“I still feel guilty,” Evelyn said. “I know I shouldn’t, but I do. I should have just taken her with me.”

When she got back, Gracie was gone. Her pink tricycle was sitting at the end of the Durseys’ driveway, but Evelyn hadn’t thought much of it. She just assumed Gracie had forgotten to bring it in again.

“You couldn’t have known,” her mother said. “Nobody knew. Nobody thought it could happen here.” Derry was a safe, quiet town. That’s why she and Went decided to move there when Maggie found out she was pregnant. Everyone said it was a great place to raise children.

Raise them for the slaughter.

No. Maggie Tozier pushed that thought away.

“They moved today,” Evelyn said. “I still can’t believe it. Every time I look across the street, I expect to see their car out there. Stevie shooting his basketball. Gracie riding her tricycle, ringing that bell that drove everyone crazy.” (Ting!… ting-ling… Ting!) “Dad wanted to break the darned thing off.”

(Ting!… ting-ling…)

Click.

The front door was opening. Evelyn let out a relieved sigh. “That’s probably Richie.”

“It sure as hell better be.” Maggie closed the oven door and stormed out of the kitchen. Evelyn followed a few steps behind, knowing her little brother was about to get a good ripping. “Richard James Tozier, you had better have a damn good reason for being so—”

Both women gasped when they reached the entryway.

The front door was still open, letting in the evening breeze. Outside, a car engine revved and tires squealed. Richie shut out the sound with a hard slam of the door, throwing all his weight against it. Then he stayed like that for a while, with his forehead pressed against the door, back trembling, shoulders heaving as he panted. When he finally stepped away, a small smear of blood remained on the white paint.

Weird, Evelyn thought, it almost looked too bright to be blood. Was this another one of Richie’s dumb jokes? She was waiting for the punchline.

Her mother put her hand to her mouth. “Richie, what happened?”

His glasses were gone. Funny how that was the first thing Evelyn noticed. His face just didn’t look right without them.

“I, uh, fell off my bike,” he said, squinting. He lifted his chin to show off the scrape. “The chain came off again. Stupid piece of shit.” He choked out a laugh, then winced and clutched the left side of his face. A bruise had already started to form where his hand was, and his bottom lip was swollen and split at the left corner.

“You fell, huh?” Maggie put her hand on her hip. “And, what, the ground punched you?”

Richie nodded, sniffed, and rubbed his bloody nose with his fist.

Maggie Tozier looked like she had more to say, but all that came out was a heavy sigh. “Well, I hope you punched it back.” She put her arm around his shoulders and guided him toward the stairs. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. I think I still have your old glasses in a case somewhere. Sure hope I do, or else you’ll be bumping into walls until we can get you a new pair.”

The stairs creaked as they went up together. Evelyn stayed below, haunted by the red mark on the door. It got bigger and bigger with every blink of her eyes.

“I think I might’ve sprained my wrist,” Richie said quietly.

“All right, we’ll take a look at that, too.” Maggie hugged him close. “I’m just glad you’re okay. You had me worried sick, you know. Did you walk all the way home?”

Evelyn suddenly remembered the car outside, how it had sped off in such a hurry.

“No,” said Richie, “I got a ride.”

David and Tabitha Criss lived five houses down, in a small cape cod with white siding and a glossy red door. It looked the same as when Evelyn was a kid, right down to the flower beds and the basketball hoop that no one ever used. Victor had never taken to sports, but Mr. Criss sure liked the way it looked in the driveway. He thought if he left it there long enough, Vic might one day pick up the ball and decide to give it a try. Eight years later, the ball was still in the garage, half-deflated and tucked in the corner behind the lawnmower that Mr. Criss had yet to fix.

Evelyn felt weird standing in front of the house now. The last time she visited, she wasn’t even tall enough to reach the tiny brass knocker.

This time, she decided to ring the doorbell.

“Just a minute!” Mrs. Criss called from inside. Her voice sounded exactly the same: light, sweet, and melodic. When she was a kid, Evelyn was convinced that Tabitha Criss was secretly a Disney princess. It was her go-to Halloween costume, after all.

But the woman who answered the door looked nothing like the cheerful princess from Evelyn’s memories. She looked exhausted and overworked, ready to pull out her hair at any moment. Mrs. Criss was wearing a dirty kitchen apron over a mustard yellow turtleneck that seemed a size too small for her now-chubby frame. She still wore her hair the same: long and feathered like one of those classic bombshells from the seventies, only now it was thinner and peppered with tiny specks of grey.

“Evelyn,” she said, her tired brown eyes sparking with life. “Wow, what a pleasant surprise! Look at you, all grown up and so tall and beautiful… Gosh, I almost didn’t recognize you!”

She had to say that, Evelyn thought, because that’s what adults did. Her aunt and uncle said something similar at Thanksgiving, and it made her feel a little awkward.

Evelyn forced a smile. “Sorry to bother you, Mrs. Criss—”

“Oh, it’s no bother. I’m just finishing up dinner. I’ve got chicken roasting in the oven and garlic mashed potatoes on the stove.” The smell was wafting out of the kitchen. It made Evelyn’s stomach growl. Mrs. Criss must have heard it because she immediately invited her to stay for dinner. “I made plenty, and we’d be more than happy to have you.”

It was a hard offer to turn down. “Thank you, but I have dinner waiting for me at home, actually. Tuna casserole.” Evelyn cringed a little as she said this. Her mother never was much of a cook. “Anyway, I was just wondering if Victor was home.”

“Oh.” She sounded disappointed. “Yes, actually, he came home just a bit ago. Went right up to his room because that’s what he does now.” She started laughing, but Evelyn didn’t get the joke. “Feel free to head on up. I’m sure you remember the way. Oh, but please take off your shoes before going upstairs. I just shampooed the carpet.”

Evelyn saw Vic’s dirty boots sitting on a rug near the door. “Sure thing, Mrs. Criss. Thanks.” She took off her shoes and placed them next to his before heading upstairs.

The stairway wall was covered with framed family pictures: Mr. and Mrs. Criss on their wedding day, old black-and-whites of long-deceased relatives, and of course, childhood portraits of their only son. Halfway up was a picture of Victor in the second grade. He had a horrendous bowl cut and a gap-toothed smile, but he looked happy, happier than she’d seen him in a long time. Evelyn couldn’t remember the last time she saw a genuine smile from Vic. Now he just always looked annoyed.

She took a left at the top of the stairs and opened the second door.

“Oh, sorry—”

At first, Evelyn thought she had accidentally stumbled into the wrong room. It was as dark as a cave and had this earthy, musky, almost skunky smell that made Evelyn’s nose wrinkle at her first whiff. She covered her nose with her sleeve and poked her head in. The walls were a dingy green and covered haphazardly with posters of bands that Evelyn didn’t recognize, and there was a guitar propped against the wall, but Vic didn’t play the guitar.

At least she didn’t think he did.

Then she noticed the teenage boy hunched over on the side of the bed. A plume of white smoke escaped his mouth as he glanced her way.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me…” Vic threw his head back and sighed. “What do you want, Evelyn?”

Evelyn saw the glass pipe in his hand and scoffed. “Of course you’re a stoner now. Why am I not surprised?”

Vic could hear the disappointment in her voice. On any other day, that might’ve shattered him, but today he simply didn’t care.

He took another hit.

“Does your mom know you smoke?”

“Obviously not.” Vic sounded smug. “What, you gonna tell her?”

“Maybe,” Evelyn threatened, but instead she walked in and closed the door.

Vic stayed on the bed, watching her tiptoe around his room like she was afraid to touch anything. Her arms were tightly crossed over her chest. That made him snicker. He didn’t blame her for being uncomfortable. Hell, I would be, too. He hadn’t been in her room since he was twelve, but now he found himself wondering what it looked like, if she still had that floral bedspread and all those stuffed animals she couldn’t sleep without.

Probably not. Vic had thrown out his toys, too.

He relit his pipe. “Sorry about the mess. If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve tidied up.”

“It’s fine. I won’t stay long.” Evelyn shooed away the smoke when it crept her way. She didn’t want the smell to stick to her clothes.

“You wanna sit?” Vic asked, motioning toward the spot next to him on the bed. Evelyn scrunched up her face like he’d said something crazy. Was that such a weird offer? It wasn’t a problem when they were kids, but maybe it wasn’t appropriate now. Vic scratched his head. “What are you doing here, Evelyn?”

She turned away from the poster she had been staring at. “You know why I’m here. I wanna know what you guys did to my brother. He came home looking like someone beat the shit out of him.” And he got a ride, too. That part bothered her the most.

Vic snuck in a few more puffs before setting his pipe aside. “I’d rather not talk about that.” Not now. Not when he was finally starting to forget.

Evelyn took a step toward him. “Is that why you’re smoking, Vic? Feeling stressed? Maybe a little guilty?”

Her voice was getting louder, too loud for Vic to handle in his current state. He rubbed his forehead and said, “Look, I don’t wanna talk about it right now, Evelyn.” Today had been particularly exhausting. He just wanted a couple of hours to himself before he had to do it all over again tomorrow.

But Evelyn was never one to let things go. “Vic, please tell me you guys didn’t put him in that trunk.”

Vic’s eyes widened and his mouth went dry. “The trunk?”

(You’re gonna go for a little ride, buddy.)

(No! No, please!)

(Unlock the trunk, Belch.)

“Yes, the trunk, Victor!” Evelyn shouted. She was right in front of his face. “Did you guys put my brother in the trunk of your car?”

(No way, man. I’m not driving around with a kid in my trunk. Are you fucking crazy?)

“Did you?”

(I SAID, OPEN THE FUCKIN’ TRUNK!)

“Answer me, Vic!”

“NO!” Vic yelled, pushing himself to his feet. Evelyn staggered back. “I didn’t do anything, okay?”

Vic had tried to leave. He had walked away and left them all behind, but they caught up to him anyway. They pulled up along the side of the road, and Henry made him get back in the car. Vic had no choice but to sit there and listen to Richie Tozier screaming and pounding from inside the trunk. It went on forever, but…

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly.” Evelyn gave him a light shove. “You didn’t do anything, Vic!”

There was a knock at the door. “Victor?” his mom called from outside. “Is everything okay in there? I heard raised voices.”

Vic ran his hand through his hair. “Everything’s fine, Mom.” He tried to sound calm. “Sorry about the noise. We’ll keep it down.”

“You two better not be fighting. Dinner’s almost ready. I made roast chicken!”

Vic rolled his eyes. “Okay, Mom, I’ll be down in a little bit.”

“Okay, okay. Evelyn, are you sure you don’t want to stay? It’s a lot of food for two people.”

Evelyn’s voice broke when she tried to answer. “No, thank you, Mrs. Criss. I gotta be heading home soon.”

“Well, all right…”

They waited for her to leave. Then Vic sat back down on the bed and prepared another bowl.

“I should call the cops,” Evelyn said, glaring at him. “You guys went way too far this time.”

“So go to the cops.” Vic didn’t care anymore. “Go ahead and tell them everything. But you know what’ll happen if you do. Do you really wanna get him into more trouble?”

Vic already knew the answer. The look on her face said it all. He gave his lighter a flick.

“You know, I’m really disappointed in you, Vic. Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”

“That makes two of us.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know what it means.”

“Whatever.”

Evelyn was halfway out the door when Vic spoke again.

“So, do your friends know?” He took a big hit from his pipe while Evelyn stood in the doorway, silent. Vic looked her way and blew out all the smoke. “I’m thinking no, huh? Good call. Don’t think they’d be too happy to hear you’re fucking around with Henry Bowers.”

Evelyn’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

Maybe not, but Vic knew what he saw. He couldn’t get the image out of his head.

“Hey, I’m not judging you. Do what you want, kid, but at least be honest about it, you know? Quit acting so innocent. It’s getting kind of pathetic.”

Pathetic?

“Fuck you,” Evelyn spat, backing away. “I can’t believe I actually thought we could be friends again.”

Vic shrugged. “We were never really friends to begin with. Jimmy’s the one who wanted you around, not me.”

Vic knew that would hurt her, but still, he wasn’t prepared for the shitty feeling that came after she slammed the door.

Mrs. Criss heard Evelyn coming down the stairs. “Evelyn, is that you?”

Evelyn wiped her runny nose on her sleeve. “Yeah, I’m leaving, Mrs. Criss. It was real nice seeing you.”

“It was nice seeing you, too! Hold on, let me give you a proper goodbye.”

“No, I really have to go.” She didn’t want the woman to see her all puffy-eyed and splotchy. “I’ll tell my mom you said hi, okay? Maybe you two can get together soon. Have lunch or something.”

“Oh, that’d be nice! You should all come over for dinner sometime. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Sounds good.” Evelyn shoved her feet into her shoes and reached for the doorknob, but just as she was about to turn it, a terrible yet tempting thought entered her mind. She was too angry to ignore it.

She released the doorknob and walked toward the kitchen. “Hey, Mrs. Criss?”

The woman was busy mashing potatoes by hand while her chicken rested on a cutting board. She stopped when Evelyn came in and smiled. “Did you forget something, sweetie?”

“Yeah, actually.” Evelyn sucked in a breath. “Your, uhh, your son is upstairs smoking pot.”

Mrs. Criss’s smile seemed to have gotten stuck from the shock. It was tight and stretched to the point where it looked uncomfortable. Then, suddenly, her right eye started to twitch.

Evelyn nodded. “Yeah. Thought you’d wanna know.”

_____________________

PREV // CURRENT // NEXT

#it fanfiction #henry bowers #henry bowers fanfiction #patrick hockstetter #patrick hockstetter fanfiction #bowers gang #belch huggins #richie tozier #the losers club #it chapter one #it chapter two #paper men #victor criss

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thefloresgarden · 4 years ago

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Sad tales of a 20 something. -FRIENDS AND WEIRD WAYS TO FIND THEM-

Hello! Back again from a long ass time of taking a break from this site and my 2 followers who don’t even reblog my writings.

Anyway, the reason i’m back is because i actually show this blog to one of my bestestssss friends in the world and encourage me to keep going and well here i am.

So i was thinking, maybe since a friend of mine made me come back, I should write about that. So this is it, an Ode to my friends.

I have always been sort of a friendly character, at least in my mind i am. Even when i was a kid and used to cry a lot and be a bit on the side shy, I always had a lot of friends. I even dare to say I was one of the first girls in my fifth grade class yo have actual good guy friends, not only the “popular” kids that chased girls to see under their skirts. Actual good and close friends that I’m still friends with.

So, I went to the same school from elementary until high school, meaning that i had been with the same people for around 12 years, and damn i was tired of it, not from my friends, not from a lot of people to be honest, but maybe more with myself and my lack of abilities to make new friends.

That leads me to my new found weird way to make friends. It started in college when i started as a music engineer major before switching to media and film. Engineering not always equals to men, in this case i guess it did. Some may say having all guy friends is easier no drama and shit, and is true for some part, I’m still grateful of all the guys of my Music engineering program that adopted me and ate lunch with me every day, not to the rest of engineering students that are “nice guys” by mansplaining anything on the math class board before the teacher (female) started explaining, though not gonna lie i didn’t understand shit, i still didn’t want some greasy hair guy with a weird stain on his shirt,that i pray it was toothpaste, to explain me shit. I can fail this class on my own thank you very much.

My first girl friend in college was a girl on the bus that i knew my cousins was a friend with but never formally met her before and i chatted her ear off in the way home, i was so excited i forgot i could be a chatty bitch when i feel happy. When they left the bus (her and her roommate who is lovely too) I started to replay everything we talked about and was already very much regretting living because i was so cringey. I guess i wasn’t that bad, I got a Facebook friend request and became pretty close after that.

First friend I made in my new major program (who i made before switching because of mutual clases) was a girl that i always saw in my favorite class, “Signs, symbols and significances” she was funny, very friendly and clearly friends with at least three quarters of the class. I decided that was my next mission, i left my guy friends side after an exam in our common class and went literally running towards her and another girl (amazing person too) I asked them in the most awkward way how the exam was for them and even if they thought i was weird they didn’t show it and were so nice with me.

I made a mistake though, I told the girl i had a mission on (to be close to) she seemed familiar outside class and she said i did too but we couldn’t remember where from. Until I realized she was the girl that i met in my first day of school in math class and sat next to her. That, until i didn’t hear my name while checking the list and was told that wasn’t the math class, everyone laughed i stand up and trip and yell “puta madre” so hard everyone laughed again. I then found out that story was so funny to her she actually used it as an ice breaker when meeting new people and started introducing me as the “puta madre” to everyone. At least she got me a lot of new friends, and besides having passed more than 5 years, she still reminds me of it and she still is one of my closest friends.

Another story, I was an exchange student and knew nothing about the culture (only basics, didn’t want to be rude), the language or anyone in this new country. I was so lost I literally was trying hookup apps to meet friends (never works tho, at least on me). It was my second day in Seoul and saw there was a kpop concert of one of the three groups I actually knew and my baby brother was a fan of, i checked and there were some tickets left, bought them, put on a pretty dress and left. Going to a concert alone is not that bad, going to a concert alone in a country you have been for 5 minutes and also understand shit, that is a fucking nightmare.

I met some friendly girls from USA that helped me out to figure the shit out in the venue, they told me they were living in Korea for like 5 years and still couldn’t even read, which i thought wow kinda disrespectful but anyway i wasn’t going to let go of anyone friendly anytime soon. Met some other girls that came to the country only for the concert which wow commitment. And then I was left alone again when taking the seats (standing spots to be exact). The concert was cool even if I didn’t understand shit and I’m 87% sure I even caught eyes with some of the guys in the group a few times. The concert ended and I wish I could say I captivated one of the kpop guys and that is my next friend meeting story but, nope is not and honestly i wouldn’t change it for any of the hot men that were on stage.

Fast forward the first day of school, i was lost and ask a girl for a classroom, she was very nice and told me where it was but that the class was in like 30 more minutes. We made small talk and i sat on a bench in the opposite way of her. The girl next to her was saying she had this next class that sounded kinda familiar, and I realized it was my same class so I told her to go together. Once inside the classroom I saw her phone and she had a familiar face as her screensaver, it clicked, it was one of the guys of the concert! I asked her and she said it was him and that she went to the concert too and we decided to had lunch together. From that day on we became pretty much inseparables, until she got the sleaziest guy in the world as a boyfriend but we don’t talk about shit in my safe space so that is a story for another day. Besides that terrible guy and his best friend who dated me only to dumped me weeks later to play LOL 24/7, I got my baby, my mijita who i love so very much and again, wouldn’t change a bit.

Lastly in this post, not in life nor in place of my heart, is a little blessing (literally) that came to me from heaven! She didn’t even know this, but a semester before she was having her abroad year in my country I was in one my deepest holes in my life. My mind was empty but my eyes always filled with sad tears. That semester before, nothing major changed in routine, in my family, in my life as in general. But somehow it did in my brain, my heart was feeling agitated for no reason, my palms were sweaty and shaking all the time and my brain was as it was shut down. I got the big D, and not as in a big nice dick getting me fucked, but another type of fucked nonetheless. Depression, the kind of weird illness that can’t be seen but oh dude it can be felt, and felt is all i did, i felt sadness, loneliness even with a full house and a full line of friends ready to help me. Sometimes shit just happens.

Took a semester off and when I came back I decided to faked it until i made it, and it was going great. I did cry back at home a few times a week but i could hold it during classes or in front of people, great advance. I decided to focus in what made feel best, dressing in my favorite shit and letting everyone out of my arts and humanities department have a nice view of it. And then I see her, weird to say i still remember how cool she looked, tall as fuck, wearing all black, shaved head and what i got to find out were her trusty black vans. I got obsessed with her fashion style and decided my next mission, be friends with her, or at least for her to acknowledge my presence. I saw her talking to a close friend (another great meet cute story for another day) so i decided it was my moment, I said hi and was introduced to her, we chatted a few minutes and got along pretty well. Her amazing style and bad ass british accent made me feel i was in bad rom-com where we were both straight and platonically soulmates. I saw her again outside the bathroom while i was waiting some friends, we talked for an hour, she invited me to a party and we had dinner first (so romantic, I know) at dinner I thought it was going to be awkward until we both realized our mutual love for SZA and Idris Elba. We never stopped talking after that, she even went back to my hometown for 2 weeks with me, where all my family loved her and strangers treated her like a celebrity. She calls my parents tíos and we talk as much as we can now that she is back at her country.

I miss her everyday and there is not a minute I am not grateful i met her.

These are some of the stories of how I met some of my friends, my closest ones and those that are still with me in every step I take. I can tell you one million more ways of how i met friends i love so dearly, but that is for some other day my hands aren’t hurting for writing only with my thumbs in my phone.

And what I care and love most about all these, is that I would never want to change being the weird girl that catches a hunch and runs towards people that will mean the world for.

FRIENDS I LOVE YOU ALL.

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