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COLORFUL & BRIGHT — A Harry Styles Calendar · 1/12
please, do not repost
#stylesnews#hlupdate#hlcreators#harry styles#fine line#harry's house#i really created a whole calendar#and didn't show the designs on tumblr#can't believe i'm calling myself an independent artist :')))#ANYHOW!#i created a harry styles inspired calendar#i'm selling it on etsy too#and it's one of the projects i'm the most proud of#can't believe i did THAT myself you know#*#hs#my letters#my shop#my calendar
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My page for @kairizine. It was such a huge honor to be part of this wonderful book with everyone, I had so much fun!
[id in alt!]
#kingdom hearts#kh#kh kairi#kh xion#kh namine#i don't really feel proud of my own stuff usually but#i really think this is the drawing i'm most proud of from this past year!! it made me think 'oh maybe i can draw' haha#i'm still kinda bad with colors but something clicked with this one. and i feel like i got the sentimental feeling i wanted!#ooh but this project's about flower symbolism so ramble incoming:#protea symbolizes resilience transformation and diversity; hollyhock means 'please remember me.'#so my general theme was finding a sense of self.#these 3 have struggled with finding their own identity; they tend to get left behind both in-universe and in general plotwise#and naminé and xion both resemble kairi and were overshadowed by her memory. but i feel like all 3 have transformed into their own people#xion and naminé have their faces covered partially by hollyhock to show their wish to be remembered for who they are-#instead of the parts that they share with someone else#and the protea bouquets show how they each held on and resiliently grew into their own person despite it all#i put a little swervy path on the hill behind kairi to give that hopeful sense of growth and moving forward. it's a little hard to see#hopefully that makes sense! i really love symbolism but i think in visuals so i'm really bad with words#but gosh working with everyone on this project was so fun. it was like impossible not to get swept up by the team's hype for this zine#i need to hunt down everybody's work and rb it#ohh and everybody's flowers are so crisply drawn it's insane!! i think if i lined all these flowers and leaves i'd die haha#fan art#my art#project stuff
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Pokemon Legends Arceus fan comic, where Jirou has disappeared and Volo has complicated feelings about it. (And maybe figures out that there's a bit of a God in that little phone of Jirou's)
#pokemon#volo#adaman#irida#sabi#pokemon legends arceus#original character#ocs#Jirou#fanart#mine#tagging all the characters because I caaaaaan#hhrhhghhg#I've been sitting on this idea for a while ever since I noticed in one playthrough that NPCs acknowledge quest markers on the Arc phone#And I thought about how Volo might want his hands on that#I had a week off from work and what I did with that time was Draw A Lot#I didn't expect this to turn into an 18 page monstrosity#I expected like 8 or 10 at most#but I got to draw Volo a lot. And Jirou. It was fun#this has been brewing for a while and I finally did something with it#Kinda proud about that#Finished a big project!#Now I'm mortified about showing it to people! oh well!#I only watched House MD while drawing and I got to the end of Season 3#that's a lot of hours spent drawing
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tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.
please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.
also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.
anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!
1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR
i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!
in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.
these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.
FORGETFULNESS
i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.
EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT
while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.
in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.
oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)
he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.
LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER
this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.
does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.
update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.
DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET
while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)
tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.
and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.
(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)
if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.
IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER
again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.
it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.
another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.
INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS
if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.
other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.
so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.
from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.
however, there is obviously one more thing...
HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST
obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.
is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.
i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.
2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL
those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).
of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.
won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)
THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET
besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).
other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.
TONDEMO-WONDERZ
since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.
from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.
88 SHOOTING STARS
another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.
aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.
you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.
tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.
MR SHOWTIME
mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff
there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.
also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.
from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.
i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.
oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.
to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.
i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.
3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS
listen, i know how it sounds.
i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.
for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...
he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.
and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.
(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)
and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.
nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.
tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?
if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?
and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.
however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.
aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!
is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.
feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao
...i hate ending analyses.
#i spent too much time on this. this is the most important thing i've ever written. if this flops i'm gonna do very bad things to myself.#/JOKE but seriously skdkshd if this does bad i'll be very sad#i'm way too passionate about this headcanon hehehehe#also don't mind the cover photo i just didn't want to put read more when it was still so empty#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#puroseka#prosekai#colorful stage#tsukasa tenma#tenma tsukasa#wonderlands x showtime#tsukasa wxs#wxs tsukasa#tsukasa pjsk#pjsk tsukasa#tsukasa project sekai#project sekai tsukasa#putting more tags on this one because i'm sorta proud of it#if i actually messed up something very bad you'll never hear from me again#ri says things the tag
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Ain't nothing come easy / No, nothing comes quick / But I want for you this, that you are well / I want for us this, that we are well...
Another illustration of Temeraire-crossover fic — this time, James Norrington and Tempest, from @boltlightning's delightful Pirates of the Caribbean crossover 'windfall / landfall'.
#em draws stuff#em is posting about temeraire#temeraire#pirates of the caribbean#james norrington#temeraire worldbuilding collection#<- since it is a similar sort of Temeraireverse Sidequest to the rest of the drawings in the project#once again drawing off tumblr user travellingdragon's incredible fanart-cataloguing work (as well as anglewing butterflies)#to figure out the look of anglewings for tempest here!#this particular pose was referenced off of jon dxppercxdxver's beautiful babycat for the Most possible kittybaby energy#he would like to show you One Single Paw.#I'm most pleased with the wings tho' -- I often really struggle with wing shapes and I'm So very proud of that partial fold there#also I have Plans for future further art for these fics but for Now they deserve a nice nap on the beach :)#caption lyrics are from 'theseus' by the oh hellos (which has probably been my primary norrington song for Years now...)
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Actually you know what, I'm gonna post this. Check it out, I'm fiddling with this PMV. Spoils the whole game ofc. And the name of the song is pure imagination by Fiona Apple!
Also I'm apparently a big fan of drawing moon laying down 😂 total count including scrapped drawings is 5 (technically 6)
#rain world#animation#video#wip#Pmv#Yeah I busted most of this out yesterday in one 9 hour long tunnel-visioned drawing sesh#(new meds)#LMFAO but yeah at this point I put aboutttt 16 hours into this and I'm quite proud of how it's come out so far#I had a lot of trouble with Arti's design. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do for the longest time#Then I got to the shot of her screaming and was like yeah. Max floof. Momma bear arti. Yesss#God forbid I ever use the same design twice#On that note I have no idea where that sexy saint design came from. I love it. It just came out of me#There were a few things I wanted to fix before uploading but literally whatever#I'm gonna redraw so much it doesn't even matter#The ending is on its way too. I already have it roughly planned out; classic double twist ending ✨#But I decided to scope creep by making it full color so who knows if it'll get finished#I'll sketch it in gold just in case#Love that this is the first thing I do upon finally getting some energy back. My projects? No. Talk to friends? Nah#Make an entire pmv? Bingo#Coughs. Anyways
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You ever just have a silly idea and then take it to its final form?
#⭐ Star's Art ⭐#Shovel Knight#Mole of Moling#Mole Knight#Mole Knight Shovel Knight#Order of No Quarter#OoNQ#Medibang Paint Pro#Coolness#When the world needed it most... Mole of Moling returned!#With the announcement of Shovel of Hope DX I've found myself returning to my Shovel Knight roots from 2020#And what better way to jump right back into the world of shovelry than with the long-running Mole of Moling joke?#You can consider this a teaser for an upcoming voice project that I will be reblogging tomorrow...#... the long-awaited sequel to the Mole of Moling voicework!#It ended up being one of my longest voice projects yet and I can't wait for everyone to get to hear it#I also drew the artwork for the Mole of Moling logo within a very quick timeframe in a little over an hour!#For one of my best Mole Knight drawings yet I'm quite proud of such a feat#Also massive shoutout to gvgkid on YouTube for his remix of Mole Knight's theme used in the video showcased in this post#It was all I listened to when drawing Mole Knight! 🏳️⚧️✨
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there she is!!!
#ONE MORE SKETCH DONE 😤#admittedly I haven't worked on these in awhile.... my goal is to be done sketching and inking all of them by the start of september 😭#sketching is the hardest part tho because it's the step that involves the actual execution of the concept and composition#as well as like... the skill to actually Draw everything#inking is probably the easiest and fastest step#and painting is incredibly time consuming and often tedious but with a project like this I can sort of do all of it together#all the backgrounds and skin and fabric etc etc can happen for all of the cards can happen at once#but its also the most stressful#because its the easiest and worst to fuck up with watercolors#one wrong color or wonky blending improperly mixed shade can ruin the whole thing#but its also rlly exciting to see it all coming together#I'm just going to have to work rlly hard to pace myself#because otherwise I'll get fed up and 'give up' on parts and end up with a product I'm not proud of#ghost posts#my art#jyl#jl#cql tarot
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wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.
#vent#for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode#like constantly#from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived#to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week#and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally#not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic#and now someone died in my family#not someone very close but i liked them#and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing#because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter#so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with#because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter..#i'd just want a week where nothing happens#and like the writing is weighing heavy on me#because i miss it#also i wish i could finish something#i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off#also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit#i bought new furniture#because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly#which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself#just because i was too burnt out to write#and i wanted something nice to happen to me#like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice#and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns#and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken#because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid#yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job#long pathetic whine and overshare over
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Daily Writing
so I'm doing a thing where I write daily and around the last week of December I compiled 31 one 1-5 word prompts and NOW ITS ALMOST DONE
For one, this is a testament to my self-proclaimed 'I can't commit to shit' and now I CAN HAHA IN YOUR FACE PAST ME
But the bad part is now I'm almost out lmao I don't really wanna take prompts from like, Febuwhump cause I just wanna do whatever the hell I want without a ton of constraits (atm cause idk if I'd be able to keep this up if I limited myself) (see: last summer where I tried to write daily and make it at least a word longer than the previous day) (It crashed and burned cause I was like "lmao no wdym you can't commit to shit LOSER)
anyways if people has a 1-5 word prompt they feel like sharing go ahead :D It can be put into dialogue, a concept, a setting, whatever you feel like
okie ty <3
#writing ideas#writing prompt#creative writing#guh#tbh I'm kinda proud of myself#this entire thing started from last semester#cause I took a creative writing class and we did daily journals#I had the option to take it this semester but chose not to#mostly cause I felt like projects were a smidge too rushed#also I'm not the most coherent writer#probably one of my bigger insecurities#so if I were to share any writing I'd probably get it proofed#a lot#but anyways I've been doing the writing thingies for a fair amount of time#ofc not proper writing#more imagining#but I super love creative writing as an art#and I'm all about the fine arts#idc if it's technically like english or something#WHATEVER#the arts are how we express our souls#or something like that#cough anyways I should be done rambling in the tags#I feel I adequently tagged this so people outside of who follow me could see this?#idk#oh well it's not a big deal lol
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someone just followed my fanfiction.net account (which i have not used since i was thirteen) and subscribed to the one fanfic i have on there (which, again, has not been updated since i was thirteen) and i completely forgot it existed so now i'm like oh i'm so sorry fanfiction.net user in 2023 that fic is never getting an update but i appreciate that someone still enjoys this random fic i put out into the universe
#i fully forgot that i'd even published anything on fanfiction.net. like i knew i wrote something for it but i have no idea how far it got#truly the only people winning who became fans of my old unfinished fanfics are the people who followed me on wattpad#bc i had a series i was writing on there from like 2015-2017 which was never finished but then in summer 2019 i revisited it#and i didn't write the 3 books i originally planned to close out all the plot lines but i did write an 8 chapter final adventure#that was this cool meta-commentary about the characters picking up the pieces after their story ended without warning#and yeah most of my original readers were just as inactive as i'd been but i had like 4 of my original fans celebrate the finale#and it was so much fun getting to close out the era even if we all kind of went our separate ways after that#ngl that wattpad thing is still one of the projects i'm most proud of specifically because of that ending#i'm not sure how much the original shit i wrote holds up bc i was literally in middle school#but i still am really proud of how i gave it a cool ending after abandoning the project for years
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ao3 stats game
tagged by @malcolm-f-tucker, ty!!
Rules: Give us the links to your wonderful words with the most hits, most kudos, most comments, most bookmarks, most words, and fewest words.
expect this to be skewed towards d20 bc while i haven't written much for that in a while it is easily the biggest fandom i've written anything for
Most hits: The Disappearance of Adaine Abernant - dimension 20 (fantasy high), 2,637 hits
Most kudos: ^, 193 kudos
Most comments: Extra Credit - dimension 20 (fantasy high), 73 comments
Most bookmarks: ^, 54 bookmarks
Most words: Starlight - oklahoma!, currently sitting at 34,091 words.
Fewest words: The Symphony of Hadestown - hadesotwn, 191 words. my first posted fic ever! look at her, she's so tiny, lol. my next shortest clocks in at exactly 400 words longer; even when i'm trying to be brief i tend to go on a bit, haha
i shall tag @tragedyposting @theresa-of-liechtenstein @kingfisherkink @grasslandgirl and @druid-for-hire! idk who else of my mutuals really uses ao3 at all so i'll just leave it there lol
#sasha speaks#let the poet bless this round#tag game#tagged for me#malcolm-f-tucker#ty!#starlight. man#i stubbornly refuse to abandon this one despite not updating it in over a year#i think it somehow has even less of an audience than any of my niche ass opera shit but i don't even care#it is my pet project and i have the whole thing planned out meticulously still#just gotta actually write it someday. i would estimate its current length is about a third of the hypothetical final thing#making it easily my longest and most ambitious work ever. extra credit is my next longest which sits completed at about 31k#my current don g wip. well i am hoping it won't get that long but who knows. i'm just at the start of it all still#also. man remember when i wrote for an Actual Fandom? lol#i still really like my fantasy high fics tbh i'm really proud of how they turned out and how much people have responded to them#even if i've more or less moved on from d20 at this point#if junior year ever drops i will be all over that shit once again but until then i've mostly set it aside#maybe i'll get back to spelling bee though. bugs me that it's unfinished and i know it still has some kind of audience that wants to see
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and with that, the published version of blp broke 50k words !!!
#rae.txt#i've written a novel at this point.#idk im just proud of myself ! it's the most i've ever written for one project so im just happy that i'm finally like. Doing Something#and also that people like it ! which is wild to me !!#but i am thankful nonetheless <3#fic talk: best laid plans
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After meticulously sifting through my lair, I finally managed to put together a wishlist! Or, well, just all the items I need for all of my projects together. It counts, I think!
I'll be adding a link to my pinned and clan bio :3 There's lots of cheap treasure apparel on the list too that I can get myself, but I added it anyway because it all really adds up, and also just so that I keep track of what I have gotten already and not.
#flight rising#fr wishlist#i even added my inanimate insanity projects in there despite not being interested in the show or the fandragons anymore#bc I'm kinda proud of how they were going to turn out#I'll most likely get rid of the OC fandragons one day though#so I didn't put any of their items on the list#I might change those from a stickman OC dragons page to a parames dragons page!#Just bc I don't wanna get rid of Nova and so that I could make Jacque too.......#Jack will stay in MCYT page tho
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I'm happy to announce that this month I was finally able to buy Pirlouit a proper packsaddle! Doesn't he look very professional? And handsome. He receives a lot of compliments every time a visitor sees him all dressed up.
If he looks a bit wary in this photo it's because it was the first time I added the baskets, and as he'd never seen such large baskets before he wasn't sure they weren't about to eat him. His nervousness only took the form of twitchy ears though, there was no drama. (And he can be very melodramatic, so really he's been very stoical and self-possessed in the process of getting used to the packsaddle.)
He can also sulk for days if I make him do something he doesn't like (e.g. hoof care, which he seems to interpret as pointless torture), so I find it gratifying that every time we've used the packsaddle so far, he didn't try to avoid me the next day but came to greet me—he makes it very obvious when he is offended by an activity, and I'm glad that he seems to enjoy being asked to help carry things :).
When I bought the packsaddle I was a bit concerned about the girth being too small, because Pirou refused to let me measure his circumference beforehand (and I was pretty sure having to resort to some sort of girth extender would embarrass him) (but he does have a very round belly...)
But no; I was able to fasten all the straps—though I spared him the crupper strap at first.
I had to have two tall trees felled in the pasture (because of a project I will talk about in another post), and I also cut a couple of storm-damaged trees in my woods, so I spent a lot of time this year cutting & splitting logs. I now have several stacks quite far from my house, in places that can't be reached with a wheelbarrow, and my donkey's help is very appreciated to carry everything to the woodshed. Plus, the people who visit me are usually more into doing stuff with the llamas, so this allows me to give attention to Pirlouit too, while doing something useful.
Aren't you proud to be now in my Top 3 Most Useful Animals, Pirou?
... wait he's still grumbling about that one comment.
#crawling along#i wanted to wait until my woodshed was full before i made this post so i could show the before / after pics#and say look it's all thanks to pirlouit's hard work!#but after the donkey contest i feel he deserves his minute of glory#he's been very active and helpful lately!
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THE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT I FEEL OFF MY SHOULDERS RN.
#・ ˖ ✦ ⋄ . AUTHOR OF THE STARS ❝ ooc. ❞#after a long journey I finally handed off one of my longest and most tedious projects of the year#its been a long time coming and I'm super proud I did it but ohhhhh my god it's tired me out sm
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