#and it's not even done yet!
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inside my pond there is an old enamel sink that's been used as a planter for various things over the years at my house. i find it endlessly fascinating to watch things over periods of time - i completed a year-long video project in february where i recorded clips of my garden each month, trying to catch the same plants at all the stages of a year-long cycle, and i'm several months into a second year-long project where i take a photo from the same window of the cherry trees that grow outside. Part of the reason that I've wanted to make a pond for ages is that I wanted to both just observe it and also mess with it to see what happens. (The other parts are that my garden space was too big for me to maintain so filling it with pond was a great way to get rid of grass-encroached soil, and also how desperately I want to watch frogspawn develop into tadpoles and then froglets.) I 'finished' planting this pond in 18th April, and since then the main three things I've taken note of are how quickly the water became clear, how quickly things colonised it (fly/mosquito larvae within days, various sizes of water beetles within weeks - today I saw the largest beetle yet at probably 1cm!), and the unexpected presence of this algae/sediment that's settled around the top of the sink. Then I was surprised that has begun to disappear! I wonder if it was to do with the water levels - I noticed that it had begun to clear after a spate of very hot days and about a week without rain! The above photos were taking on 18th April, 20th April, 29th April, 7th May, 11th May, 12th May, and today 15th May. I can't wait to see what changes next (: And I have a lot more planned for the surrounding area!
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remember when this blog was created as a sideblog for my writing? pepperidge farm remembers.
anyways, it’s been two hundred years but my story finally got updated.
tldr; let me introduce you to tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow - a s1 jack/sawyer fic told from sawyer’s pov covering episodes 1.03, 1.08, 1.11, 1.16, and 1.19 with some changes to canon along the way. (1700+ words, 4/6 chapters completed)
check it out if you want! or don't! i’ll be back to my regularly scheduled lost shitposting after this message.
#the chapter count used to be five but uh. outlaws was running extremely long#so now you get six!#this is also now my longest story#and it's not even done yet!#i'm proud ok lol#story: tomorrow and tomorrow and tommorrow
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oops, still feral over pre-war Dead End Dratchet
(drift: you're rusting at every joint gasket: but isn't that doctor chummy with the cops? we're literal thieves??)
started with the headcanon that drift hung around the clinic like a feral wet cat for a while, then halfway through shading these, I started thinking, what if deadlock was an especially reliable assassin because he knew what kind of damage would make sure that even the best of the best couldn't bring you back
#couple million years later#ratchet is performing autopsies and very determinedly not thinking about teaching that one kid which energon lines are most volatile#you ever get this image in your head of a guy lurking around the guy who saved his life and then think#guess i need to design a clinic#but because your dumb brain needs context you think i guess i need to design the surroundings so you start a daytime wide shot too#and then an even dumber part of your brain is like let's do it all in that fake etching style that you haven't totally worked out yet#and then you also get sad about gasket so you stick him in too#they're done at least we achieved something aaaaaaa????#transformers idw#maccadam#tf drift#dratchet#tf ratchet#ratchet#gasket#drift#mtmte#my art
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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You have 90 minutes to complete. (original poem: r.a.)
In participation of the MCYT Recursive Exchange 2024 hosted by @mcytrecursive!
Inspired by know that all my love will be your breath (i will save you when your lights go out)
[text under cut]
1. Have you ever been in love? (Please circle your answer.) a. It's me and him b. Our hearts beat in sync c. Our lives intertwined
2. Do you understand what you’ve done? (Please circle your answer.) a. I couldn't do anything b. I lost my balance c. I doomed us both
3. It's been god knows how long since you felt phantom hands on your neck and there is no one in sight. If you were soul-bound to him and both of you died at the same time then why are you still waiting in the void? Please answer clearly, in full sentences. (Not a correct answer:I just wanted to see him one more time).
4. Define two (2): Fate | The feeling of his forehead against yours Curse | The moment you realise he isn't linked to you anymore
5. True or False: i. It was your fault. ii. You wish you had met him under different circumstances. iii. You can’t regret a single moment that you had him. iv. You would do it all over again if you could. v. It ended long before either of you said anything.
thumbnails:
sketch cover thing for imgur link:
#team ranchers#team rancher#rancher duo#jimmy solidarity#tangotek#trafficshipping#mcyt recursive exchange#events#fic fanart#my art#“canary has butterfly-shaped wings it cant do a dramatic spread like that” watch me. (draws dramatic wings) (sorry)#“you have 90 minutes” have been rattling in my brain for so long ever since i suddenly remembering a web weave using it (yes the beeduo one#very glad i can release it (using it in art) from its confines (my mind)#hm i suppose the title would be more in theme if its abt limited life ranchers#← havnt watched limlife yet#but! happy with what i come up with. lil bit proud even#had so much trouble with the panelling and layers in p2 cause it looks too busy (explodes)#also punching the floor bc i only noticed the “yes-no” pair(?) in the original poem when im already half-done w/ the comic#me when making silly comic makes you do poem analysis#i dont even go there ← does not have enough poetic braincells
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here's the WIP of the first minute-ish of the dave animation <3
#homestuck#dave strider#chris animates#i'm on the grind with this guy#not even halfway done yet technically but im getting there#the song is slow motion by luke wild!
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I apparently have an affinity for drawing grizzled old men and their psychopathic exes
#I've never drawn Stanford Pines before#except for when I was in middle school I think. I don't know#has someone done this already? who knows#if they have please send it to me#I just find this meme so fucking funny man I couldn't resist#I haven't even read Bill Cipher's new little diary yet#I just knew in my bones. I had to draw something#stanford pines#ford pines#grunkle ford#bill cipher#gravity falls#my art#digital art#meme#billford#I suppose#fanart#gravity falls fanart#the book of bill#the book of bill fanart#artists on tumblr
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thinking a little too much abt durge/orin sibling relationship rn. 🩸ft. my durge (briar, they/them)
#not me referencing an arcane quote ‼️#i love that line from arcane i think abt it all the time. couldn't help but draw some similarities to orin here. im unwell#I HAVEN'T DONE THE ORIN FIGHT YET !!!!!!!!!! but im being emotional abt it even though i HEARD it was lackluster#im rlly enjoying these mspaint doodles lately they're actually so so fun. very nice vacation from csp rn it's so therapeutic#my art#art#illustration#drawing#artists on tumblr#digital art#my ocs#oc#ocs#original character#bg3#baldurs gate 3#blood cw#blood tw#orin#orin the red#durge#the dark urge#briar
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class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhfy#fhsy#fhjy#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#my class swap stuff! oh yeah I think I got a tag for that I'll call that#fh class quangle#gna slowly go back and get that tag on relevant posts too. for organization's sake#even tho I didnt really intend this blog to be that kinda blog lmao. we were all just gonna be out here dealin with that at our own pace#anyways uh! they! u know all the lore for the designs already I put em in tags. but otherwise this also collects like the#color keys kind of for these. mostly the things that change between designs#doing this did make me realise half of these are a Lot more consistent in color keys than the other half lol#like kristen's palette stays pretty much the same. and fabian's. the hit's mostly in the construction#a lot of this is overall like an exercise in remembering what high schoolers would actually wear and how to work in Costume pieces#on this point at least I straight up have No relevant recollection lmao all the basic education establishments I went to have uniforms#and outside of school I was. well kind of a shorts and tee guy. so#on that topic I feel like fabian's is the furthest stretch lmao. like if a guy in high school wears the same bright yellow raincoat#to school every day that's like. people would Not like that guy. fabian really is saved by being cute and a rogue#he will still have stans when he's deep in his fishing arc in junior year he's the manic pixie dream bf#anyways uh. things to do! stuff to get done. sleep first tho. have a good night lads#I have not caught new nsbu yet! seems I mostly catch them like two to three days late nowadays.#so please uhh. don't reply on my posts with nsbu spoilers? we are all excited and having fun but that's rude#ok thank u. signing off for the day have a good night#!!
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Loss.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#If you include the 11 bonus comics I've done; this is the 200th comic of PD-MDZS B*)#Thank you all for your patience and support as I have honed my skills and pressed on with uploading my comics.#Even when I have gone through turbulent moments and struggled with stress and grief -#-I've been so thankful to have something that reminds me that I have the capacity to create and bring about joy into this world.#This community has some of the biggest hearts I've ever seen. Thank you for everything.#I can't believe I've done 200 comics for this series. And it isn't over yet! Keep rooting for me and I'll keep on drawing! Lets do this!#“OP are you not going to comment on this scene?” No. I'll let this one simmer <3
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herbology class 🌹🌿 (from chap 2 of my fic!)
#his alliteration/pun combo is even more lame in the actual chap bc seb holds up a dittany seed as he says this#bro had the dad jokes before he even became a dad😔👌#alliterations are just how they flirt.....losers...and i notice them EVERYWHERE now too. ive cursed myself#also MY ONESHOT IS LIKE 70-80% DONE I THINK?? im 30k words in but i might end up making it 2 chaps instead#idk im still deciding..itll depend on if i find a cutoff point that im happy with. cuz right now i dont like splitting it anywhere LOL#but maybe ill do it and release the first part just so that i can get it out and then finish the latter half later...decisions decisions#also now that im done my fic i also wanna draw a bunch of the earlier scenes i never did like this one#so weird drawing seb and clora not together yet tho LOL esp for seb. like damn there was a time u COULDNT just smooch clora?? nightmare....#i also almost drew clora wearing her hairclip SO many times by mistake LOL. thats the plus side of pre-seblora tho. dont gotta draw it🤪#hogwarts legacy#hphl#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#clora clemons#sebastian x mc#choccyart#mirabel garlick#hogwarts legacy fanfiction
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wondering if any of the “ferrari were so disrespectful to carlos” crowd have anything to say about how williams not only treated logan like shit and actually sabotaged his performance and ability to succeed but also did this to him lol
#let’s just go on record to say that Williams were forced into an early announcement by a leak#WERE **NOT***#fuck Williams very much for what they’ve done to Logan. honestly#don’t think Logan has even posted yet????#I hate it here my poor pookie#logan sargeant#williams racing#fuck u JV#f1
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The show isn't even out yet and I've made a fully rendered piece of this paranoid man- I love him he's my favorite of the bunch
he only has two lines in the promotional videos and they consist of him screaming (also there's a quick interpretation of what he actually looked like before the whole "trapped inside the digital circus" thing happens- it came out kinda wonky)
Kinger belongs to @gooseworx
#kinger#the amazing digital circus#the amazing digital circus kinger#tadc fanart#tadc kinger#ibispaintx#my two neurons can only think of this guy#AND THE SHOW ISN'T EVEN OUT YET#Gooseworx what have you done to me
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animation exercise with ayase !
#dandadan#dandadan fanart#fan animation#momo ayase#momo ayase fanart#ayase dandadan#flash warning#just in case#rameiixo#i love her and i love how much she reminds me of myself#comfy bralette for u!!!!#i think i finished this too fast . because i feel like i didnt even make it and i cant quite feel proud yet#i gotta wait a day or two for it to sink in..#im practicing hair specifically for a special bebop animation i want to get done before christmas#im not sure i WILL but .. i’ll always have time eventually
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People when a character is aromantic or aromantic coded: Wowie! They’re aroACE! Because they aren’t interested in romance! Look at how aroace they are!
People when a character is aroace or aroace coded: Isn’t it cool that this character is asexual? Asexual icon! They’re such great asexual representation :)
#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#alloaro#it feels like there’s this weird mindset of#if a character is aro then they MUST be ace too#and if they’re aroace then the ace part is all that matters!#and of course aplatonicism is never even mentioned as a possibility in fandom spaces (even with characters like Saiki who is apl coded af)#hell. even with real life people who have come out as aromantic#if someone comes out as aromantic they’re assumed to be asexual as well#and if someone is openly aroace it’s very common that people emphasize the ace part over the aro part#and while I get that some people do talk more about their asexuality than their aromanticism#it’s still weird to me that like#for example#Yasmin Benoit is one of the most prolific aromantic activists AND one of the most prolific asexual activists#yet I rarely ever see people mention that she’s aromantic or aroace. Everyone always just says “oh she’s asexual” and leaves it at that#her aromantic activism seems to just get ignored even with how much of it she’s done#when trying to find news sources talking about aromanticism for a research project about half of them were interviews#with Yasmin Benoit! she’s done so much work for the aromantic community#yet even in her Wikipedia article which describes her as an “asexual and aromantic activist” in the very first sentence#the section on her activism doesn’t include the words aromantic or aromanticism even ONCE.#like. yeah she does emphasize her asexuality a lot more than her aromanticism. but her aromantic activism should be acknowledged too
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I think Robin and Batgirl frequently accompany Battinson to crime scenes, and the first time they actually manage to draw a laugh out of him in public, the room goes silent. All the cops look more spooked than they have in hours with the dead body on the floor, while Jim tells the other cops to give them some room and seriously asks Batman if he's doing okay.
#Battinson lectures them the entire drive back in the Batmobile while Barbara laughs herself silly requoting her dad and Martinez (who made#the sign of the cross and shot Batman the filthiest look yet)#Robin keeps repeating the joke while a slightly panicked and highly outraged Battinson tries telling Alfred what happened and Alfred starts#laughing (it's not even half as funny as Bruce's reaction)and Bruce is done with all of them#and logs onto a 36 hour straight patrol to cope#batman#battinson#batgirl#robin#dick grayson#the batman 3#coming to theatres near you in 75 years#personal#bruce wayne#batfamily
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