#and it spiralled out of control from there lmao
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It's my 13 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
How the hell have I been on this blue hellsite for 13 years?????
#13 year tumblrversary#tumblr milestone#ill keep those tags lol#i still remember i made this account to follow the official Legend of Korra account and keep up with show news#and it spiralled out of control from there lmao#ive made some of my best friends on tumblr so im happy really
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favourite scenes from pacific rim 3 💙
#please don't look at me i spent WAY too much time on these......#also really hoping i don't accidentally give anyone false hope since tragically pacrim 3 only exists in my head#you can definitely tell which scenes were drawn first lmao#because it started as just a fun exercise before spiraling out of control#anyway. enjoy i guess. don't look too closely#maybe you'll even be able to extract my post-uprising-fic-tropes-greatest-hits plot from these#pacific rim#newton geiszler#hermann gottlieb#newmann#my art#fanart
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tbh “people hear about legitimate dream fuckups and it colors their worldview to exaggerate and misconstrue harm in everything he does” is just the opposite side of the coin to “fans hear about dream being legitimately fucked over and treated badly and it raises their defenses to react to every perceived slight like a personal betrayal” literally nobody is capable of being normal about that man
#bella talks#while the former is worse on twitter i think the latter is worse here#because we’re so close knit and self contained so one person getting (maybe reasonably) upset about something#can spiral into the whole dash dooming#and i’m not saying it’s never warranted— while the q hate spiraled a little out of control i think it was mostly proportional#but then we also get things like karl dropping the panel#(in fairness from what *i* saw it wasn’t as bad as how i see people acting but maybe my dash is just well curated#and i have a higher tolerance for d.tblr shenanigans than most people i think)#like i really don’t mind if people get a little rowdy LMAO it doesn’t bother me but it does make the overall environment more toxic
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And here is the cute sleeping baby dragon sculpture! It will be fired soon, and then glazed.
I’m quite proud of it.
#dragon#dragon art#dragon sculpture#my art#I based this off and old drawing of mine#cute dragon#cute dragon art#clay sculpture#im excited to see it fired and paint/glaze it#It was a beginners project I started to get used to the clay that spiraled out of control lol#And if it doesn’t survive the kiln I’m less going to be sad and more end up on the national news /j#Seriously I worked really hard on this little guy#People kept putting thing diRECTLY ON THE HORNS HOW HARD IS IT TO SEE THROUGH A CLEAR PLASTIC BAG-#So he got moved to the top shelf#I have decided he is my son and I love him very much#The wings made it look a lot better because the joints for the legs looked so weird from above lmao#Also he kind of looks like a sleeping puppy. Which kind of makes sense. I used a reference image of a dog for the back legs position#This was in a clay club run by the local high school which is why there’s all that stuff in the background.#He was originally made because I didn’t want to use the wheel the day of club photos and get clay on me so I started sculpting#and then I made his head and over several meetings the rest of him was made
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You ever have an awful idea at 1 am and then get committed to doodling it
I’m so sorry for this
#this is a joke#I am ashamed for what I’ve done /j#i’m not I am cringe but I am free#I hate that this is simultaneously in and out of character for all of them#I was fucking rolling the whole time while drawing this#everyone pity my friend for having to watch me draw these#team flare lysandre#lysandre pokemon#professor sycamore#professor sycamore Pokémon#diantha pokemon#champion diantha#Emma’s there too but idk what to tag her as#all I wanted to do was draw Sycamore as wet cat core and then it just spiraled out of control from there#happy 10 year anniversary x and y#glad I can contribute#can I tag this as PerfectWorld shipping cause the undertones are there lmao#yeah this is inspired by that one time twitter put all the tumblr/twitter sexymans as Steven universe
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lou’s character work is always incredible but his choices for deli are so interesting and only work in this setting with this timeskipping plotline. starting out as this idealistic and driven young man who’s also a little inexperienced and naive and turning him gradually into a bloodthirsty warlord completely consumed by his own ambition to the point where he’s lost himself completely and the only way he can weather his transformation is by finding a savage joy in it is so appropriate for the ravening war setting its a tragedy but its inevitable that war turn him into this and the worst part is that he’s not even special. this is happening all over the world to all kinds of people because there are forces bigger than them that they desperately want to control and some of them, like amethar, are forced into it rather than following their ambition into that despair, but plenty of people, likely including belizabeth, focaccia, basha, and definitely karna in a different (although maybe more fucked up) way are following that exact same path
#love the difference between young and old (as in fully adult) pcs#amangeaux and raphaniel are falling apart everything theyve ever worked for is unraveling and theyre spiraling out of control#raphaniel in a way that’s manic and in denial and amangeaux just quietly resigned#also amangeaux’s LIFE is not ruined like raphaniels bc she’s not as consumed but her political situation absolutely is tanked for good#she went from QUEEN OF A NATION to a soldier in a minor noble’s army#meanwhile deli and karna are blasting full speed towards their own destruction#but they still have the energy and potential of youth enough to not even realize theyre heading toward ruin#anyway. colin is the only pc who will survive (physically or mentally lmao)#and he’s the softest! he’s choosing to be soft and weak by others’ standards and it will get him the farthest#the ravening war
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Spoilers for Alan Wake/Control games and DLCs: one of the things I really like in Alan Wake 2 is the confirmation that, no, Alan can’t create something out of nothing. There were implications in-story that supported that, but it was good to have that be a big part in the sequel. The AWE control dlc easily made it seem like Alan himself had a role in the events of the game and the formation of the FBC, and, personally, seeing it through that lens cheapened a lot of the game and Jesse’s story. Instead, having his writing influence the Hiss and try to manipulate (even out of desperation) Jesse/the FBC to end Hartman and get help, fit right into plot and conflicts of Alan Wake 2, with Alan being sympathetic, but also an asshole for trying to change and control people’s lives in his writing.
#since the awe dlc dropped I was slightly worried that it was going the meta route of Alan writing everything in control#but since Alan wake 2 I’ve been. thank god that wasn’t the case 😭#this way makes everything more complicated and mysterious. which I appreciate. makes everything creepier#will say. it’s still wild how much Alan can influence the narrative.#light spoilers for the final draft but—> makes me think of the writers room video where he doesn’t know what he’ll be at the spirals end#like I don’t think he’ll be Evil or anything. but it’s unnerving#might delete#Alan Wake 2 my beloved#so many times in that game it could’ve gone a direction that would’ve lessened or soured the story but somehow it didn’t lmao#more game spoilers but for ex: Alice coming back at the end instead of leaving it with her demise in the documentary#when I first saw that it was devastating. but also wasn’t sure what to feel if that’s how she’s gone from the story#having her actually manipulate her photos. become art to make Alan think she died. go to the dark place and help him and saga#that last video left me Speechless it was so good.#esp after how much I disliked Control (spoilers here) for quickly ending with Dylan in a coma and not much else.#could not be happier with how the AW2 ending played out and the clear love for all its characters#REALLY hope that Control 2 ends in a good or interesting place. give dylan some focus!#not tagging this bc I’m just yelling my thoughts. but knowing tumblr it will somehow be seen on every tag 😵💫
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I haven't touched life after in like 2 weeks but also in that time I've finished a 20pg comic for summer of lawlu so also I think I'm gonna stop being precious with life after and doing quicker pages cuz I did 31 pages of it in 2 months being precious which is.......so much longer than this comic took me lmao
#i keep feeling like oh no ive drawn nothing!!!#because all 20 pages of this are in 3 procreate files#and im not really just doodlin#cuz when i feel like not comic-ing im mostly going thru my ask box and pulling from there#also it's summer so im depressed and i write more so sorry for all the fic lmao#anyway im stuck in the tunnel omw to work#did u know that there is only one way for every new jersey transit train to get into nyc#so when one bungles up we all end up in a line waiting to get in#anyway what im saying is i finished my lawlu month comic that spiraled out of control#its literally one prompt#today theres a 6pg comic separate of the one im talking abt#shrug hi happy Thursday
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🔥 meet Basquiat 🔥
most excellent, self-proclaimed champion of fake it til you make it.
aesthetic details: color: bronze-copper - a bit flashy, malleable but strong; bronze is also a common artistic medium for statues plant: autumncrocus - symbol of rebirth and new beginnings creature: copper dragon - something of a direct relation scent: Lord of Misrule - patchouli, black pepper, and vanilla song: King of Swords (Reversed) by The Dear Hunter spell: eldritch blast - learnt from Wyll and flavored by their own hellish heritage
first two templates by the lovely @arcandoria!
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 tav#bg3 Basquiat#em writes#meet the blorbo!#i started making a whole thing explaining their backstory but uh. it spiraled out of control#next time y'all#eldritch blast is literally the thing i use the most#as soon as i picked up spell sniper as a feat it's like. that's the cantrip#i absolutely backwrote the thing about learning it from wyll for a lore reason lmao#headcanon that all eldritch blasts carry some *flavor* from the source of the user's power#and since Bas has no patron except themselves. welp#the power is inside you all along bby
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finally writing my fic about rafe taking sam to new orleans after bailing him out of prison to see What Happened to nate and sam being equally devastated and infuriated and betrayed by the fact that nate is off living his ~normal life and then having a lot of complicated emotions about how he can't possibly fit into this domestic caricature and how can he possibly convince nate to get back in the game so of course he begrudgingly decides to partner with rafe (all the while intending to bail the second he has a compelling lead bc rafe was always a means to an end)
#sam drake#samuel drake#rafe adler#uncharted#shut up miyou#possibly will include vignettes from the 2 years he partnered with rafe#but let me be clear this is NOT a ship fic lmao#i just love a good character exploration#and sam is 100% thinking about his exit strategy the entire time#bc avery is His Thing it's a Drake Thing not a drake rafe shoreline thing#sam and nadine meeting for the first time would also be smth fun to explore#anyway my plan right now is just writing the new orleans bit and then we'll see where it goes from there#knowing me it will probably spiral wildly out of my control#(yes i know i need to finish my nateharry fic but all in good time)
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ngl all the ventureposting on my dash as of late is making me kinda tempted to share my venture bros / postal crossover ideas
#maka mumbles#it originally started out as me thinking 'hey what if hank and dean got stranded in paradise and dude had to watch out for them?'#and then it kinda spiraled out of control from there LMAO
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(a love story in five parts:)
"You could do anything to me, and I'd let you. ... Tell me you love me, at least. Please. I need to know somebody does."
"I always think of a passage from the Symposium, this allegory about people who started off as two halves of a whole, but then something cut them apart and they spend their whole lives looking for the other half so they can fit themselves back together. And that's how it feels. It hurts. It's like I lost you before I was born."
"I know why you fuck me like you wish you could kill me. I know everything that gets you off, you can't help but show me. There's no part of you that I can't see."
"Because it wasn't as if they'd never hurt each other before-- between them, it was a kind of tenderness, writing themselves onto each other's bodies with every mark they left. It was a promise: I'm here, I've always been here. Pain was a necessary consequence, but that was all it was."
"All they were-- all they had ever been-- was a pair of sunflowers who each believed the other was the sun."
x. "These Violent Delights", Micah Nemerever
#These Violent Delights#Micah Nemerever#📚#i have been waiting for this book for AGES. i got the rec forever agoooo&it was so worth the wait im clawing out of my skin LMAO.#the way that song of achilles invoked feelings uncomfortably close to my love at what would arguably be its best#there were scenes in this book that made me need to put it down&decompress bc they were uncomfortably close#to actual experiences i had in my actual marriage lmao.#it was actually... fascinating. seeing this story from the pov of someone whos thought processes reminded me so much of#one of the most profoundly abusive ppl i have ever had the misfortune of being involved w LMAO.#it was incredibly written. so much so that when the narrative would devolve into stints that were obviously&heavily unreliable--#i had to. stop. for a sec. lmao.#paul would spiral out of control while dissecting julian&the tone. the way-- even in his own head-- there was nothing julian could#do or say to make him believe that he loved him or cared about him or wasnt manipulating him. it was. intense. lmao.#so obviously i am fucking OBSESSED 💘💘💘#this came at such a good time-- 'if itll keep my heart soft break my heart every day'. :')♡
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#part two omg <333#u can tell i originally was gonna tweet this and then it spiralled out of control to the point it got too long for tumblr tags. anyway#sometimes i just think about things and i get sooo mad lmao . i knew i was trans probably since i was like 11#meanwhile was so fucked up about this i just ignored it and slowly let it eat me alive for years and years until i hit my brink .#makes me so mad how the few like 'tolerant' and 'accepting' people around here act where theyre like#oh you can be that way but just ignore it <3 dont act on it <3' . you people would rather me go back to#being a suicidal 12 year old instead of actually existing and being happy. you people who know shit all about what i go through#its insanely funny to me too like compared to a large amount of people i am like extremely religious . i have#so much of the quran mf MEMORIZED. A SOLID CHUNK OF THIS ENTIRE BOOK. MEMORIZED#I CAN RECITE THE VERSES FROM IT IN PROPER FORM. i know more than my own dad does and yet.#everyone around me who isnt this at all is like oh yes we know sooo much about everything and this is#soooo gross and disgusting and perverted and sick and evil right maryam. yeah it sure fucking is besties <3#i can be everyones token poster child of having Envious amounts of knowledge and a role model for every future hafidha .#and yet you all only like me because you have to and youd all hate me if you knew anything about me#if you read all this my bad i am just crazy and angry and insane#i will go back to normal later i just need to be insane for a minute lollll#sometimes im like 'why am i so angry. why do i have ptsd' and then i remember how everyone around me is#vent#part two !!!!! wao <333
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Diluc as a child was definitely rowdy ASF or the sleepiest lil bab, there was NO in between
#hc; diluc#//Bro was up and about causing riots and chaos#//Then fucken conked out and slept like the dead#//He wishes he could still do that#//But sleep is rather hard for him to come by nowadays#//He wishes he could go back to things being simple and nice#//But for that to happen; he needs the two people who’ve left him to come back#//And both seem just as impossible at the rate things are going#//Wont stop him from trying when he can work up the nerve and has the chance#//But yeah#//Too many things spiraled way out of control too quickly then so the more normalcy he can manage now; the easier things will be for him#//Whoops veered lmao#//Anywho yeah; dude was a bit of a hellion growing up#//That various sports and training deffo helped keep hin busy but yeah lol#//He could straight up nap anywhere back then#//Stables; desk; the floor; he once fell asleep leaning up on his claymore and fucken falling tf over#//Stressed tf outta Kae when he just kept on sleeping#//And only woke up Immediately bc of the distress rising in Kae’s voice#//Snapped him right awake in an INSTANT
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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Last line challenge!
Rules: In a new post, show the last line you wrote or drew and tag some people.
Tagged by @solisaureus <3
So the actual last line I wrote is the last line from this cabin 7 fic I posted yesterday:
“Yeah,” she said as the truck disappeared into the horizon, “but I think I’ll be okay.”
But I feel like the spirit of the challenge is to post something from a wip, not a published fic you can read right now lol, so here's the last line I wrote in one of the longer fics I like to work on for fun in between oneshots:
“Nico is the child of the prophecy.”
:)
I tag whoever wants to do this! If you haven't been tagged yet but want to participate, then do it and tag me lol I want to see what you all are writing 👀
#my fic#seeing the complete lack of subtlety that line has when taken out of context is making me laugh so hard#it really is just a baldly stated fact with no bells or whistles huh#I can't even be coy about the premise of that fic because it's clearly stated RIGHT THERE#(well. half of the premise anyway)#anyway. nobody get too excited because that au spiralled WAY out of control and I'm not confident in my ability to finish it#it is simply too long and I have other things I need to be working on lmao#but I'm having a good time writing it and I love the au dearly <3#maybe I'll do this again in a few days/weeks/whenever I start my next oneshot so I can give you a line from a fic I actually intend to post#but for now you all can ruminate on that one I guess lol#also read the fic I posted yesterday I'm proud of how it turned it out <3
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