#and it fucked with my perception of that period of time

[sand-worms]

I very very very seldom post any of my art here but every year I’m tempted to do an art vs artist post. I don’t have enough art from 2024 I want to post but I might finally cobble together some stuff from the past couple years for the end of year 👉👈

[bobbyjean]

patricia highsmiths final novel where she pulled out all the stops made everyone openly gay and addressed drugs and AIDS

[hkpika07]

What moment in ttte made you shocked?

Idk man ttte isn't a very shocking show. It's incredibly down to earth, if a bit real with some of its stories. While yes some of the earlier episodes and especially the books can branch onto more serious and arguably darker content its nothing that would really shock me per se.

Nothing really shocks me, it just makes me think. Maybe be a bit sad or feel for the characters. But that's what any good story does.

[risfics]

title: you're a star, girl.

pairing: jason todd x reader

characters: jason todd, reader, dick grayson (literally has a small cameo).

tags: smut, facesitting, shaking orgasm, squirting, reader is AFAB, doggystyle, creampie.

summary: jason has you sit on his face and grayson catches something in the manor cameras.

a/n: I cannot believe it's been so long since I've posted on this account, omfg, my bio still had 22 years old on it when I'm now 24. Isn't that crazy? I looked through my drafts to see if there was anything worth finishing and posting, and happened to find this beautiful gem.

A lot has changed since I've been gone, so I'll be updating different things.

Anyways, here's a small treat and I hope y'all enjoy it!

xoxo,

Ri.

Jason sits on the floor of his room, his broad back resting against the border of his bed. He watches you, starving, his green eyes giving a barely perceptible glow inside the darkness of his room-a lasting effect from the Lazarus pit.

Moonlight shines through a big, glass window, and you bathe in it while undoing the button of your jeans; you slide them off, pushing the denim to the side with your foot, and make your way towards the big man in front of you. 

Jason's hands shoot up from his side, massaging your thighs, as he looks up towards your face from where he sits You give him a small smile, and bring your hand towards his face, caressing it gently. He leans into your touch for a moment, closing his eyes while exhaling, relaxing. He brings you closer, and lifts his head to leave chaste bites and kisses on your thighs.

His breath brushes across your skin, raising bumps along the way, and you exhale, your back arching slightly. Jason’s hand makes its way to the center of your thighs, gently caressing your core with his fingers that are rough, but so gentle and careful while touching you. Your hips move involuntarily, searching for more friction from him. He lets out a small sound akin to a laugh.  

“You’re so needy today, aren’t you?” He asks, a mischievous smile overtaking his face. His fingers slip under your panties, feeling your slit and its wetness. He lets out a theatrical gasp. “And you’re so wet for me too, oh.” He lets out a laugh while you let out a sound of frustration.

“Jace, stop teasing me, please. Three weeks ago you were on a mission, and then last week my period happened, and now we’re staying at your dad’s house for a family emergency; I’ve been so patient and so good.” You say, a hint of agitation tainting your voice. He sighs, nodding. 

He knows how frustrated you feel; in fact, he’d seen it. Every time he went on an off-world mission, he would check the apartment cameras during downtime, and it’s safe to say that he found you rubbing your clit, fingering yourself, and even dry humping things mercilessly during some of those check ups. He’d been pent up during that time too, rubbing one or two off, talking to you through the camera's microphone, asking you for certain positions, views, and angles. And while that was fun, it wasn’t the same as fucking each other breathlessly in person. 

“Please, Jace.” You plead a second time, your voice small and whimpery. 

With that, he slides your underwear off immediately, not bothering to take it off completely, just keeping it at your feet. His face dives straight for your cunt, his lips grazing your clit, licking it, before engulfing it completely with his mouth. You let out a small squeal, your toes curling as you feel the warmth of his mouth wrap around your bundle of nerves.

His tongue moves back and forth gently, and you move your hips matching his rhythm. You let out small moans, the sounds of him sucking you filling the room; his saliva and your wetness mingled, staining his chin. His pace picks up, and you feel your stomach tighten; you move closer to the bed, your legs somewhat resting against it for balance, while Jason repositions himself under you, using his arms to hold you from behind.

You begin rutting against his mouth, moving at an almost animalistic pace. Your cunt travels from his mouth, to his nose, and back down. He feels himself wetting his briefs, a dark spot forming against his jeans as he expertly takes breaths in the small moments you relent. His nipples become hard, as his skin rises, and one of his rough hands travels slowly to his pants, kneading his impossibly hard and wet bulge.

Groans leave your mouth, and at some point you grip his hair to keep yourself steady. He lets out muffled moans of his own, drunk in your pleasure; getting you off is one of the things that makes him so hard, it makes him feel satisfied, like the overtly obedient priest to a starving, ravishing god.

Suddenly, the knot in your stomach tightens, until it unfurls itself. You let out a loud sound as you hit your climax, shaking, while a small trickle of liquid squirts out of you. You nearly fall over the bed while riding out your climax, if it hadn’t been for Jason's strong hands keeping his grip on you. 

Jason laps up the water coming from you like a man with an unknowable, unquenchable thirst. He feels his bulge ready to burst, his member unfathomably hard, and he knows that the minute he puts himself inside of you he won't last for five fucking minutes. But then again, that's exactly how you like it whenever he makes you cum first.

After the shaking subsides and you feel yourself calm down, Jason places a small kiss against one of your legs and stands up. He comes up behind you, pressing his hard member against you, his jeans rubbing against your ass cheeks. You let out a small smile, and slowly crawl on to the bed, your head resting against his thick, comfortable pillows. You arch your back, separating your legs, as one of your hands reaches for your cunt, spreading it wide open for him to see.

He stares hard at your entrance, the color, and wetness of it beckoning him closer, pulling at him like undeniable gravity. He unbuckles his belt, and does away with his jeans, barely pulling his underwear down.

Jason wants to descend on you like a mad dog, stick it in and out without a human thought running through his mind, but he's too rational, too gentle. He's aware of his size, his thick girth, and the way it can hurt you if he's too rough too quickly. And Jason doesn't want to hurt his baby, no, he wants to savor her, to have her moaning sweet nothings at him and have her coax him into a mind breaking orgasm.

So he grazes the tip of his member against your cunt, slowly, gently rubbing it up and down your folds. He prods the entrance a bit with his head, and he notices your toes curling in anticipation, a small smile taking place on his face. He slips a small portion of it in, and earns a small, sweet whimper from your lips.

And god if it doesn't take everything in him to not push it in completely, but he doesn't want this to end quickly, he needs it to last, needs it to go on for longer. It's been nearly four weeks since you've fucked, and it would make him terribly upset to have it end in a matter of minutes, you have to understand him, he thinks.

He slips it out, groaning in the process, feeling the edges of his self control slowly slip away. You let out a small whine, as if hurt, and you feel your pussy clenching around nothing. He stares at you, your beautiful back, your pussy, your puckered asshole, and he thinks about what a feast he's been given this night.

After what feels like an eternal minute of nothing, Jason comes back again and fully inserts himself this time. He wins himself a loud, choked gasp from you, your tight cunt clenching around him as you let out a groan. He lets out a controlled breath, and slips out completely again, rubbing his dick against your folds before diving back in fully.

You feel his head connect against your cervix, a familiar, and pleasurable pain when he's being gentle and teasing like this. And each time he does it, you gasp, and ram yourself back into his hips. His balls slap against your cunt, and you bite your lips hard at that feeling. He holds your hips, pacing himself, keeping himself controlled, but lets you play with him a bit.

Your back works against his torso, your ass hitting against his pelvis, giving him that much needed friction, and giving yourself that ecstatic sting you so desire. Doggy style has proven to be a bit painful for you, a bit too deep for your enjoyment due to his largeness, but if you're in control, then you've both found it better and fun. He feels you clenching your cunt, the tightness of it inebriating him. His face is sweating, his mouth is slightly agape, and then he slips out completely again.

His strong hands grip your sides and legs as he gently flips you on to your back. You stare up at him, at his beautiful and scarred face. His green eyes go small as he gives you a closed smile, his cheeks flushed, and his forehead is sweaty. You smile back at him, knowing he craves physical closeness now, that he wants the sweet loving he's been missing.

Your hands reach for his face, bringing him down to yours, and your lips catch his in a passionate kiss. Mouths melting together, tongues dancing fervently against one another as he slips in again effortlessly. You feel your cunt filled, expanding at his girth, and you gasp into his mouth. But it's not painful in this position, it's so much better for you this way.

Jason's eyes stay on yours as he thrusts himself inside of you, his balls slapping against your cunt from how deep he is, and you feel your eyes begin to water at the pleasure, at his face clashing against yours, at the kisses.

"I love you so much, Jason." You speak breathlessly as he rams into you, stickiness and sweat keeping you tethered to him. He looks into your eyes, nodding, and placing a kiss on your lips.

"I love you too, s'much, baby." He says, as his gasps are getting louder now, as his pace quickens.

You grip his hair, and bring your mouth close to his ear.

"Come inside me, please, fill me up and make me feel warm from inside." You whimper, and he groans, his eyes closing, his pants growing quicker.

"M'baby, don't-" He begins to say, shaking his head, but you close your legs around his waist, and he whimpers. "Fuuuck," Jason groans feeling himself deeper, feeling as your cunt closes around him willingly. Your hand sneaks its way between your bodies, finding your clitoris, and you start rubbing it as he thrusts deeper in you.

His mind is blank now, all he wants is to leave his seed inside of you, to fill your cunt up with the one thing he shouldn't, but you asked for it, and for the first time he wants to throw caution to the fucking wind. Screw it if your period comes late, if your belly grows-fuck it-it'll be a permanent marker of your love for each other, of him being your man and you being his woman.

He feels his body start to tremble, his arms shaking impossibly hard, and you start moaning loudly now, feeling yourself nearing your own climax at the ministrations of his hips and your merciless fingers' movements.

He shudders loudly, and then lets out a loud moan as he finally climaxes. You feel your cunt become warm as ropes of his cum fill you, and soon after, you feel that little vase of pleasure finally spill all over, crashing down on you and making your body convulse for the second time.

Jason and you are a mess of moans and pants, and you're full of tears as your second orgasm completely overtakes your emotions. He kisses you gently, wipes away the tears, and reminds you that he's here and that you're alright. He loves you, he says. He loves you so much, and he's happy with you.

As you slowly calm down, you stare at him, and you let out a sheepish laugh; you feel embarrassed, shy at your outburst. But it's not the first time, and Jason is used to it by now, and it's something he loves about you; the innate connection between your mind and body. Often, his mind and his body are at odds, pushing and pulling away from one another.

He smiles, and gives you a kiss on your lips.

In the Batcave

Grayson is bored out of his mind flipping through different security channels, landing once again at the one in the manor. He changes from cameras, looking into different rooms, and then comes upon Jason's room.

His eyes grow wide as he watches your shuddering, trembling climax on his brother's face, liquid darting out of your-

He punches the button to change channels, his face completely flushed and a huge grin overtaking him. He laughs, his belly hurting, and then he feels it. The blood rushing from his main head, to his second one. He lets out a long breath, the memories of an impossibly warm someone flooding him.

He looks at his phone to his right.

"I should call her." He sighs. He's been spending so much time in Gotham, away from the Titans tower, covering for his father while he's on some important JLA business trip, that he also hasn't been able to have any fun for a while.

He grabs his phone and dials her number.

"Hello, boy wonder." A sultry voice answers.

"Hi, baby." He greets her, his voice sounding a little breathier than he intends it to. "I miss my stargirl so much." He says, lightly grazing his bulge. A chuckle comes from the other end.

"I can get there in twenty minutes. Don't finish before then." She teases.

"Without you? Never." He smiles to himself and the call ends quickly.

[thehoneybeestings]

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐰/ 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐦𝐝𝐝

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Word count: 2.8k Content/Warnings: afab reader (no pronouns used), descriptions of PMDD and its symptoms, sevika gets a gnarly wound but nothing graphic, slightly suggestive (for one sentence), acts of service is sooo sevika's love language, this ended up being way longer than your average headcanon i got carried away i'm sorry! A/N: Naturally, my very first post is completely and utterly self-indulgent… I suffer from PMDD and decided one day amid my demise that I wanted some sevika comfort! So here you are, and I hope you enjoy and that this serves as a bit of escape from whatever may be giving you a hard time (and that if you're a fellow PMDD sufferer, you remember to be extra gentle with yourself when you're feeling low. You've got this! You're a superhero in my book!). 

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐁𝐞𝐞 ୨ৎ

──˚₊୨ৎ‧₊˚──

୨ৎ Sevika knows that you have PMDD before you tell her

୨ৎ In fact, she knows before you two are even considered friends, nevertheless together

୨ৎ Sevika is extremely perceptive; it's practically her job to be

୨ৎ Being Silco's second-hand puts her in charge of everyone out on the field, and she is constantly gauging the team's strengths and weaknesses so that she can ensure operations are always running as smoothly as possible

୨ৎ So it goes without saying that when you start working for Silco as an assassin, it doesn't take her long to familiarize herself with the way your disposition ebbs and flows, and seemingly, at the same time every month

୨ৎ This isn't to say that your performance suffers at all- certainly not; you're one of the team's most skilled assassins, and you've always made sure that your disorder doesn't impact your work

୨ৎ But again, it's Sevika's job to be perceptive

୨ৎ She first puts together that around the 6th of every month, you come in looking particularly exhausted

୨ৎ Dark circles can be seen under your heavy eyes, and your feet never seem to stop dragging no matter how many cups of coffee you nurse; and during this time, it's an excessive amount

୨ৎ She also notices that during this time period- which usually lasts about 10 days- your fuse is extremely short

୨ৎ When Ran comes up to tease you at the coffee machine about how "you look like you haven't slept in five years", you turn to give them a look that even she can admit is terrifying

୨ৎ "Yeah?" you begin, cocking an eyebrow at them, “I've got boiling hot coffee in my fucking hand right now, Ran.”

୨ৎ They're quick to throw their hands up in surrender and back away, making the (correct) decision to quit poking the bear

୨ৎ Sevika can't help but crack an amused smile at the interaction from her place across the room

୨ৎ She also can't help but notice that for some reason, you stress to no end about missions that would otherwise be a cakewalk for you during those 10 days

୨ৎ Again, your work never suffers for it, but Sevika knows you're suffering for it

୨ৎ So, she decides that your skills would be better put to use elsewhere for that period of time; and she convinces herself that it isn't an act of kindness, but simply a necessity for the team to perform at its best.

୨ৎ One day, she pulls you into Silco's office to "discuss a change in your involvement on the field," and needless to say, you're shitting yourself

୨ৎ You stand across from her, your heart in your stomach and your hands tucked into your back pockets, because you know if you have access to them, you'll just start biting your fingernails off

୨ৎ "The 6th through the 16th of every month," she begins, sitting on the edge of Silco's desk, “I want you here instead of on the field. No special missions then either, got it?”

୨ৎ At first, your eyebrows knit together in confusion

୨ৎ "The 6th through the...?" You ponder- mostly to yourself- before it hits you like a ton of bricks what those dates are

୨ৎ "Shit, I-I'm so sorry, I can explain; it's just-"

୨ৎ "Woah, woah; slow down," Sevika interrupts, her hand shooting out to signal you to stop, “I didn't say you had anything to explain, and I certainly didn't say you had anything to apologize for.” 

୨ৎ A wave of relief washes over you, but the confusion remains. What was this about then, if not a decrease in performance?

୨ৎ Sevika reads the confusion on your face and begins to answer your unspoken question: “You're always great out there; but on those days, for whatever reason, I can tell it comes at a cost. So from now on, you won't be out there at all when those days roll around. Can't have my best assassin burnt out; it's not an option.”

୨ৎ She casually shrugs with the last part of her explanation as if she hadn't just demonstrated attentiveness and consideration unlike you'd ever experienced

୨ৎ And you're left speechless at the gesture

୨ৎ You only realize your jaw is on the floor when she clears her throat, an amused smirk playing on her lips

୨ৎ "U-Um, sorry," you stutter, shaking your head in an attempt to snap yourself out of the shock, "I, uh... yeah, I do have a harder time then. I didn't know you'd noticed..."

୨ৎ "Pfft," she scoffs, kicking off of the desk to make her way toward a stack of papers on the chaise next to Silco's desk, "When I have ever not noticed something?"

୨ৎ She should have put her foot in her mouth then and there, because she sure didn't notice the massive fucking crush you'd soon start to develop on her

୨ৎ And it sure would've made things a lot easier if she had, because she was falling for you just as quickly

୨ৎ In the coming months, Sevika had made a point to start checking in on you when the 6th rolled around, and you found that when she wasn't on the field, she was lingering near the desk she'd set up for you to take your place at during your hard weeks

୨ৎ You'd come in looking especially tired one morning- in fact, your eyes were swollen and red like you'd just been crying- and her eyes were on you like a hawk as you trudged over to the desk, slumped into the chair, and ran a hand over your face before getting started on the paperwork Silco had assigned to you for the week.

୨ৎ "Rough morning?" She inquired, concern written all over her face

୨ৎ You let out a dry chuckle, recalling the 3 hours of sleep you'd gotten the night before, the orange juice you'd spilled all over your white shirt this morning, and the breakfast you couldn't eat because you were sure that any minute you were going to throw up

୨ৎ Rough morning didn't come close to cutting it

୨ৎ Your eyes began to prick with tears before you could help it

୨ৎ "I'm so sick of this shit," you mumble, burying your head in your heads and pressing your palms into your eyelids

୨ৎ You hear her rummaging around, but pay it no mind until she sets something down in front of you

୨ৎ You move your hands away from your face to see a hot drink in front of you; not coffee, but

୨ৎ "Tea?" You ask, your voice small

୨ৎ " 's better for you than coffee," Sevika shrugs, pulling up a chair to sit in front of the desk

୨ৎ She stares intently at you for a few moments, before finally asking the question she'd been mulling over: "So, by 'this shit', you mean..."

୨ৎ "Oh," you chuckle, "Yeah, I guess I never did explain what my problem is..."

୨ৎ You then go on to explain to Sevika what PMDD is, and what a pain in the ass it can be. She listens attentively, her eyes trained on the paperwork in front of you as you explain the insomnia and the fatigue, the anxiety and the overwhelm, the insecurity and the hopelessness; everything that you have the pleasure of dealing with on a regular basis

୨ৎ "Janna," she replies, rubbing her temples. "And you deal with this shit every month?"

୨ৎ "Like clockwork," you reply.

୨ৎ "Yeah, you're a badass for that."

୨ৎ You let out a loud laugh, and a strange sense of relief floods her system

୨ৎ "Wish I felt more like one, but when something as small as spilling orange juice on my shirt makes me wanna jump out of the nearest window... the last thing I feel like is a badass."

୨ৎ Sevika chuckles at this before giving a nod towards your tea; "Should've gotten you coffee, huh?"

୨ৎ "Oh, no!" you're quick to correct, "Just super nauseous today... probably won't be able to stomach anything until dinner time, and that's if I'm lucky."

୨ৎ Sevika's eyes widen, and she would've demanded that you try your best to eat something before then if it weren't for Jinx barging in to announce that she needed Sevika's help "cleaning up a little mess."

୨ৎ (The "mess" was enforcers chasing her down because she'd decided they were the perfect target for testing out her new paintball gun. "you said I should try out less violent forms of self-expression!" she'd say to Sevika...)

୨ৎ She doesn't forget your conversation, though, and you're snapped out of your shitty reality tv binge-watching session by a knock on your apartment door later that evening

୨ৎ Much to your surprise, it's Sevika

୨ৎ With take-out in hand...?

୨ৎ "You can't go all day without eating," she says, sternly.

୨ৎ You laugh incredulously at the fact that she even remembered your offhand mention of not being able to eat, and at the fact that she'd taken it upon herself to show up to your place to do something about it, but open the door wider and step aside to let her in anyway

୨ৎ You don't miss the quick scan she does of your apartment- littered with trinkets and decorations you'd picked up here and there- and the way her face seems to soften in endearment; of course, only for a split second, before she's back to business

୨ৎ "This is the only thing I can keep down when I'm not feeling well," she deadpans, unpacking the plastic bag and placing a large styrofoam cup on your kitchen counter, "Figured it'd be worth a shot to drop some off if it meant you might be able to stomach something today."

୨ৎ "Sevika... you didn't have to go to all this trouble," you say, walking over to meet her at the counter

୨ৎ She just shrugs, of course. "I know. Where are your bowls?"

୨ৎ And so, here you both were, sharing a bowl of warm chicken noodle soup, trying to ignore how whipped you both were for each other

୨ৎ You'd managed to convince her to join you in your reality tv binge-watching session, and despite how annoyed she was pretending to be, you'd gone through three 45-minute episodes already and she still hadn't left

୨ৎ At one point, she'd even forgotten to keep up the disinterested act: "What?! Why would she pick Sarah over Lily, they have zero chemistry!"

୨ৎ You'd just quirk an eyebrow at her exclamation, staring her down with a smirk until she finally admitted, "Yeah, yeah, whatever- you got me."

୨ৎ And you'd giggle, and her heart would clench, and she'd get way freaked out, and suddenly,

୨ৎ “Shit. I've gotta go. No doubt the kid has already gotten herself into something else…"

୨ৎ You'd just nod, trying your best to conceal the disappointment you felt as you sent her off.

୨ৎ "Hey," you'd call out softly, just as she was turning to leave, "Thank you. Seriously... this was really helpful. You made my night."

୨ৎ Don't say that, she'd think, not unless you want me to start coming home to you.

୨ৎ " 's no big deal. Just looking out. Night, Y/N."

୨ৎ "G'night, Sevika," you'd smile.

୨ৎ And it'd be another three months before either of you had the guts to confess your feelings

୨ৎ But one night, you're waiting for her to show up to your door, take-out in hand- like she'd taken to doing every month from the 6th to the 16th since the first time she came over; and when she doesn't, there's a pit in your stomach that tells you it isn't simply because she forgot

୨ৎ With emotions already high, you're quick to assume the worst as you throw on some sweatpants, a crewneck, and your sneakers before racing down to the only other place she'd be on a Friday night

୨ৎ You walk up to the bartender on duty at The Last Drop, not bothering to conceal the worry in your voice as you ask if he'd seen Sevika around tonight

୨ৎ "Just went upstairs to Silco's office. Rough mission, must've been. She'll have a pretty scar, that's for sure."

୨ৎ You don't respond; you just dash up the stairs with wide eyes, not bothering to knock before bursting into the office, and sighing in relief at the sight of the grey eyes shooting up to meet your own

୨ৎ But when your eyes catch the deep cut trailing down her tricep and the mess of bloody rags in front of her, you find that your relief is short-lived

୨ৎ "What the hell?!" you'd exclaim, rushing over to help, "Why didn't you call me? I was worried sick about you!"

୨ৎ You were worried about her?

୨ৎ Her cheeks would flush, and she'd thank Janna you were too focused on bandaging her arm up to notice

୨ৎ "You don't gotta help me with this shit," she'd protest

୨ৎ "Says the one who feeds me every night my hormones are fucking raging. Like hell I don't have to help, and you fail to consider that maybe I want to."

୨ৎ You're stressed, your adrenaline is pumping, and you've had a killer headache all day, so your words come out harsher than you mean for them to. "I'm sorry," you'd sigh, "I'm not mad at you at all, I'm just-"

୨ৎ You look up to find her smiling down at you, and your heart skips a beat, and you thank your lucky stars she breaks the silence, because you'd completely forgotten what the rest of your sentence was going to be

୨ৎ "Really didn't like this being my first stop after work," she admits, and you don't know why she suddenly sounds so... timid

୨ৎ "I mean... yeah, having to patch yourself up after a mission is never any fun-"

୨ৎ "No, Y/N," she begins, and your eyes shoot up to meet her at the sound of your name on her lips, "I mean... I mean I didn't like that my first stop wasn't you."

୨ৎ And just like it was the last time you'd spoken to her in this office, your heart was in your stomach

୨ৎ "What, you mean you wanted to come home to me or something?" you chuckle nervously, because there's no way in hell that's what she meant

୨ৎ "Yeah, that is what I mean."

୨ৎ Oh.

୨ৎ "You opposed to that or somethin'?"

୨ৎ Absolutely fucking not, says the kiss that you plant on her lips

୨ৎ and the legs thrown over her shoulders later that night (oops)

୨ৎ And now, you thank Janna for the steady presence in your life that is Sevika; especially when you're feeling unsteady

୨ৎ Of course, your symptoms don't just disappear, but it's sure as hell nice to have the support when they make themselves known

୨ৎ When you wake up on the 6th, exhausted and with zero interest in doing anything but laying in bed all day, she'll get the shower running nice and warm, leave a comfy outfit on the counter, and promise that she'll have tea ready when you're done.

୨ৎ She puts herself in charge of meals for the next 10 days, because she knows that your lack of appetite plus your general lack of motivation and energy means you won't end up eating enough if she doesn't make you

୨ৎ When your emotions are high, she's your rock

୨ৎ if you're starting to tear up because you've tried on four outfits already and you "look too bloated in all of them," she'll take your face in her hands, ask you to take a deep breath, and place a kiss on your forehead, reminding you that everything feels a lot bigger than usual right now, and that the only thing you need to worry about is feeling comfortable

୨ৎ If you're getting frustrated because you can't find your damn coat, and your favorite food truck is only in town for another hour, and you snap at her because she dares to suggest that you do, in fact, have other coats, she'll look at you, take a deep breath of her own, and say,

୨ৎ "Okay, baby; what can I do to help?"

୨ৎ And your heart will break, because how is she so good?

୨ৎ You'll apologize-because you always do when you know your emotions got the better of you- and she'll wrap you in a bear hug, and you'll realize that was what you really needed; not your red coat

୨ৎ And you'll make it to the food truck in the nick of time, and you'll probably tear up when you take your first bite, because damn, this cheesesteak is the best thing I've ever tasted, and damn, I don't know what I did to deserve her.

──˚₊ 𝐄𝐍𝐃 ‧₊˚──

[arijackz]

PICK A CARD: The ☆Glow-Up☆ 2024 Has Planned For you

♠︎ “At bottom every man knows well enough that he is a unique being, only once on this earth; and by no extraordinary chance will such a marvelously picturesque piece of diversity in unity as he is, ever be put together a second time.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. 

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

✧ Pile One ✧ (queen of cups, 5oC rev., 10oC, the chariot, the magician, 4oS)

Release.

➣ The central theme of this glow-up is inner fulfillment. You are on a journey of true self-love. The queen of cups is sitting proudly at the front of the spread. Major water energy here. You are unraveling emotional trauma down to your roots and reevaluating past attachments and burdens with the six of cups.

➣ I picture floodgates opening, allowing all of the pent-up emotional turmoil to release and finally free you on a deep psychophysiological level. You released something, an attachment or mindset that was set in motion during your formative years that was hindering your ability to hold compassion for yourself.

➣ Shuffling my music, "Daddy Issues" by the Neighbourhood came on. I also saw the hierophant while shuffling the cards. You experienced a lot of undervaluing and emotional neglect in your home. Emotions in your home were taboo and possibly even punished.

➣ I feel like the people around you growing up, were either always dissatisfied with you in some way or made you feel small. Since this is a group reading, it is hard to word this without excluding a large chunk of the audience, but some of you grew up in a home situation where any form of outward self-love or expression was met with a lot of negativity and ridicule. 

➣ This forced you into hiding your true self which groomed you into a mental space full of self-criticism and doubt. In your mind, you were unwanted or inherently broken in some way and deserved less. The way you were treated created deep emotional wounds in your young psyche which made it hard to feel satisfaction within yourself or with the outer world.

➣ With the five of cups, I get the sense that you had felt you were in a desert and unable to fill any of your cups so to speak. Baby, that’s coming to an end. The ten of cups is at the center of your spread with a big ass RAINBOW touching corner to corner. The drought is over. The dark days are over. The sun is shining and you can taste hope again. 

➣ On this self-love journey, you are currently grieving (releasing) a degraded perception of yourself along with any beliefs that inhibit you from feeling good about your character.

➣ You are realizing just how enough you are and flushing out all of the poison that was crammed in your head about being inadequate. You are freeing yourself from the chains of feeling unworthy of a good life.

➣ You will find true beauty in every corner of you. Beauty in your laugh, beauty in how you dance, beauty in how you take care of yourself, beauty in what you care about, inner beauty that cannot be taken from you or scaled down. You will nurture your inner world, thus adding color to your outer world.

➣ During this major life-changing period, your view of reality will flip in a way you never thought imaginable. Life will feel worth living again. Your music will move you more and the swift pass of wind will invigorate you with new ideas for creative projects that will propel you forward to lifelong prosperity.

➣ I’m hearing 🎵 “… I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so proud of you” from Make Me Proud by Drake. Congratulations babe, you just broke a fucking karmic cycle. 10 of cups, following the 5 of cups??? You have graduated from a dark knight of the soul and are now approaching new, abundant energy.

➣ The universe is proud of you. Your ancestors are proud of you. Your inner child is proud of you. Your God(s) is proud of you. All of the cells in your body are proud of you. You have released something cosmically within you. Please hug yourself and have a good cry because you are doing something you never believed you could. Your hopes and dreams are unfolding.

➣ Get ready to make your daydream your reality.  With the chariot, you’re prepping to TAKE AWWFF BABY. The release of this blockage has raised your energetic vibration and is ushering bountiful opportunities into your life, new passions, new ideas, and new connections. 

➣ Your newfound faith in yourself is going to give you the courage to go out and experience life. Most importantly you will find satisfaction in the mundane. Every frame of your day will be brighter and feel better. You have gone from 5 empty cups to an eternally flowing fountain. Take the time to thank yourself for all of the hard work you put in to get here. 

➣ Advice: Extend yourself grace. During this period, you will have enlightening moments that will unlock pieces of the puzzle surrounding your trauma and a lot more will make sense and become easier to process. 

➣ However, as the flawed humans we are, we tend to make sense of something and then turn around and beat ourselves up for not realizing it sooner. Or, minimizing our pain and criticizing our past selves for not doing more about it because hindsight truly is a dirty dawg. No that is not how it works. 

➣ That’s like when you were in school and the teacher would start bullying you for not understanding a subject. YOU HAVE A DEGREE??? I’m fourteen?? Of course, you can say it's simple when you have already “graduated” and learned from it, not when you’re in the middle of experiencing it.  You gained clarity during this tower moment and can now see the bigger picture and liberate yourself. 

➣ Younger you fought to make your way through the fog and deserves grace because you would not be here today without your younger self’s perseverance. Forgive yourself for the time it took to get here and see the beauty in your evolution throughout the journey.

➣ Also, drink plenty of water and get rest!! It’s Pisces season, and a Pisces new moon is coming too. Most of your trauma will unravel while you’re unconscious. Please get plenty of rest and hydrate. This pile has Cancer/4th house energy written all over it. Mother yourself during this period. Clean your room, make your favorite foods, watch cheesy movies, and splurge on special skin care. Pamper yourself. okay I'm done. KISSES.

"My consciousness has outgrown this vessel"

✧ Pile Two ✧ (4ofS, the tower, the wheel of fortune, the emperor, the lovers, judgment, 7ofW, ace of wands)

Life's gotta always be messing with me (you wanna see the light) Can't they chill and let me be free? (So do I) Can't I take away all this pain? (You wanna see the light) I try to every night, all in vain, in vain

Justice.

➣ I asked for a song to explain the central theme of your reading and I got "Freak on a Leash" by Korn. I get the feel that one of the main struggles of your life path is unfair judgment. People are quick to create a false narrative of you and run off with it.

➣ If you read my last PAC, “What is most alluring about you”, you may have chosen pile 2 or 3. With the seven of wands, you are constantly under attack.

➣ Take what resonates but I see a few scenarios. People may be quick to paint you as a bad person without getting to know you. Your public reputation was heavily influenced by rumors from people who intentionally wanted you to be disliked. People will take something small, blow it out of proportion, and try to impose it as a character flaw. Oh, you don’t eat the crust on your sandwich? How wasteful! There are starving kids out there, you’re so inconsiderate!! and then everyone else in the room who claims to not like you (but are truly your biggest fans) are oooing, ahhing, and egging that hating ass bitch on. 

➣ I’m seeing a bus. You may have been betrayed and thrown under the bus a few times before. This is the pile of my Lilith placements. Your power is your ability to garner attention, both good and bad. You attract a lot of envy. The ugliest emotion, in my opinion. It’s partners in crime with greed. 

➣ For some of you, I am getting the message that all of this underserved hate has sent you into a dark mental space and driven you to take an attempt on your life. And if you like my messages or my readings please believe me when I say this,

 I know you are meant for greatness. I picked up on your energy and you found this reading for a reason. Just like the Universe and everything within it, we go through cycles. And I know this is a long, painful cycle but it will come to an end and you will get out of this darkness. From the bottom of my heart, I feel your importance and I am happy you are here to share this moment with me. Keep swimming, I support you, the Universe supports you. The sun is rising and is offering you a new beginning.

➣ In this dark period in your life, the negative attention may have outweighed the good. I see a theme of being outcasted and isolated. Severe bullying. For some, even abuse. Like pile one, you have gone into hermit mode and isolated yourself from the unfair judgment of the world. 

➣ But head up muffin, the scales are balancing, and the wheel of judgment is turning in your favor. Following the wheel of fortune, you got the fucking emperor!!! You will come out of this on top. The people who kicked you while you were down will have to swallow their pride and kneel to shine your shoes while you sit rightfully on the throne. The public scrutiny you face needs to balance itself out karmically.

➣ Think Megan Thee Stallion. I won’t bring up any of her business, but if you've been keeping up with social media, there is a good chance you are well aware of it. That woman has gone through the unimaginable, one traumatic event following the other all while facing an obscene amount of public scrutiny. She had to go into solitary and off the internet to rebuild her life. But guess what??? MY GIRL STAYS ON TOP>>>>> After all the bullshit she endured, she’s coming out on the top of the charts, brand deals with major conglomerates, she is the people’s princess.

➣ That’s going to be you. You have dealt with a lot of injustice in your life, now you’re coming out of your “rehabilitation” and all of the people who spent the better half of their day attempting to tear you down will have to watch your rise like a phoenix and fucking weep.

➣ People were constantly taking from you , now the universe (whatever you want) is preparing to give you the power to replace what you have lost tenfold. Ace of wands, I see that life is handing you the metaphorical talking stick. The king stick. You are being blessed with a flame in your belly (activated solar plexus chakra) and the chance to completely reinvent yourself. 

➣ There is a lot of king and authority messages here, the ball is in your court. You are being released from the shackles of public perception and these next few months will be filled with inspiration and willpower to prove everybody wrong and showcase your strength.  I feel like a good chunk of this group will get chances to be in positions of authority or importance. 

➣ This is going to sound silly but I got this exaggerated imagery of a mean person calling you poor and ugly but the next year you drive past them in a Bugatti with their sugar boo in the passenger seat. HELLOOOO.

➣ With the lovers, I see you are coming in union with what is rightfully yours. In the grand scheme of cosmic law, you are owed good fortune and it is on its way. With the tower, I see an explosion and people fleeing. You’re going to pop out stronger than ever and that’s going to scare people cause whatever superiority they got from painting you as inferior is going to blow away and their true scummy nature is going to be seen. 

➣ After this, there may even be people who pretend to be your friends and claim they supported you all along. Have faith in your discernment. I have faith in your discernment. It will all be okay pookie.

➣ Advice: Just keep swimmin' my love. <3

"The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth."

✧ Pile Three ✧ (queen of wands, knight of pentacles, 6oC, page of pentacles, 10oW, 3oW, the hermit)

It's in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I'm a woman Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Awaken.

➣ Regardless if you’re a woman, a man, somewhere in between, or none of the above, you are approaching a newfound understanding of your sexuality. For some of you, it is a full-blown sexual awakening. 

➣ Some people here are realizing their sex appeal, others are coming to terms with their lack of sexual attraction, some are learning what they like in sex and what they’re attracted to. Yes bae, all of it; the whole spectrum of sexual exploration is here.

➣ There is an emphasis on attraction to yourself. You will see a huge shift in your physical appearance. Yes, your style will change but the main reason for this glow up is because you shifted the perception of yourself into a higher light. You’re allowing yourself to feel desirable and embracing the aspects of yourself you once shunned. 

➣You will carry yourself in a higher regard and this will open doors for you. Look into the mirror and give yourself a nice smack on the ass. Your self-esteem is sexy.

➣ Pile one is on a watery emotional self-love journey, this pile is all about fire and finding out where sexuality and passionate relations fit into your life. 5th house (flings, passions, hobbies), 8th house (sex and rebirth), 9th house (adventure, connecting with your soul tribe).

➣ I asked for a song to tie up this message in a cute little bow and I got the 639 HZ frequency. This is the frequency of love, radiation, and positive energy. It is the frequency of the heart. The heart chakra is opening significantly during this glow-up.

➣ You are opening yourself to adventure and sending a high vibe out into the ether. I see a sunflower and the queen of wands is decked out in bright yellow, you are stepping into the spotlight and attracting a lot of attention. I would say Venusian attention because the aura here is very romantic and collaborative. It's like the universe is spraying you with extremely magnetic pheromones and having opportunities run at you.

➣ You are going to get a lot of offers. Love offers, career offers, party invitations, you’re going to be involved with exclusive circles. You are realizing your self-worth and now you’re attracting things and people who also see value in you.

➣ This isn’t going to resonate with everyone, but I sense that for a few of you, there is going to be a reconnection with a past lover or a past friend from your childhood (or just the past in general). I also sense a theme of using your attractiveness and people’s attraction to you to your benefit. Somehow monetize your appeal. 

➣ It is like you finally released your ugly duckling mentality and you woke up and went, “WOAH, what can I do with this???” Lmao you discovered you’re an undercover member of the pretty privilege club.

➣ Yeah, with the page of pentacles and the ten of wands, I’m seeing an entire life path open up for you. Your passion and fiery energy will get you places, and you’ll go on adventures exploring your opportunities with that. Some of you will even become spicy content creators or do some risque sex work. Orrrrrr just venture into a career path you weren’t courageous enough to do before. 

➣ You’re a giant magnet energetically right now (I mean c’mon, 639 HZ???) you’re attracting a lot of romantic suitors. But watch out, they’re not all good suitors.

➣ I pulled another card and got Justice in reverse. Some people will try to get over on you. Also, the person on the justice card looked strangely untrustworthy when I flipped it over. Once again, practice your discernment.

➣ Your romantic and passionate life is taking off and it's going to be extremely exciting, especially if you are coming out of a period of stagnancy. However, with the 3 of wands and the hermit, the cards remind you to remain centered and plan bigger. Your passion, attractiveness, and sexuality will amount to more than hookups and shallow relationships if you invest in yourself wisely.

➣ You are unlocking an advantage you have in this lifetime. Open yourself to career endeavors, social networking, and creating a strong foundation for your talents and hobbies. Yes, date and have fun but don’t spend all of your energy in one place. Your attention and your energy are your greatest currencies.

➣ To expand on the hermit, I need to emphasize you are going to be getting a LOT of attention soon (I’m getting Sun-conjunct-Venus energy, is that in your natal chart or is there a transit with Venus right now or something?). You will receive more eyes on you than average and this might overwhelm you and push you into hermit mode.

➣ That is okay, let life flow. During those moments to yourself, dream big because you have the power to pull your dreams into your reality.  You will meet lifelong friends during this period. I am sensing a power trio for some of you. 

➣ Advice: To wrap up, we all know attractiveness is social currency, and you are coming into a great deal of social wealth baby. But please spend it wisely and do not lose yourself in the crowd. Keep up with your self-work and take introspective breaks away from people so you can figure out how to best utilize this awakening for you. 

➣ You look really good in red currently. Red hair. Red lips. Red clothes. Red jewelry. The color red is bringing you a lot of abundance. Okay bye. MUAH. <3

"I said mom, I am a rich man."

✧ Pile Four ✧ (page of swords, knight of cups, wheel of fortune, temperance, 7oP, the devil rev.)

Ascension.

➣ OMG I’m so sorry, I wrote a novel for the other piles but this one is going to be short. Maybe you were drawn to another pile mainly and this is your secondary pile. BUT IT’S SHORT BECAUSE ITS FUCKING AWESOME. 

➣ The song I channeled for you was named “Elniño Prodigo” and I want to say the artist is Love Record but I'm not too sure. This means child prodigy. When I was laying out your cards, I got this sense of anticipation and impatience. Theeeennn BOOM the wheel of fortune, temperance, and the seven of pentacles smack me in the face.

➣ Oh me oh my, you are chilling in the universe’s womb just BAKIN’ being prepped for a complete rebirth. You are a prodigy, you are not meant to live an ordinary life, you are being prepared for a unique journey. I know this is going to sound hard to believe because I feel like with this pile, a large portion of your life was spent in waiting.

➣ Do you feel like you are a late bloomer? If so, trust me, it is for a reason. Whatever you build in this lifetime will be built slowly and have a solid foundation because your legacy is meant to withstand the test of time and last long after you leave this Earth. This period you’ve spent waiting is you getting your ducks in a row and sowing your seeds for the next evolution of you. I said something like this in my last pac, if that's you, heyyyyyyy i’m glad your energy stuck around, i love it.

➣ Do you have Pisces or 12th House placements mixed with Saturn significance? Whatever this glow-up exactly holds for your future is a secret. It’s the universe’s divine surprise to you. I did not get any energy detailing exact events, just something big in the works behind the scenes is making its way to you. 

➣If you’re reading this pick a card there’s a good chance you’re spiritually attuned and can feel this cosmic shift happening. Something about your energy is so excited. I imagine a hyper dog being held back by a leash because it's not quite time yet.

➣ If you’re in a period where you’re not seeing any life progression and it's causing you anxiety, relax, you are on the right track and you are where you need to be. You have not wasted time, time really isn’t even fucking real. Everything is moving slowly for a reason. 

➣In this “boring” period you are meant to tap into your inner world and curate what you want your life to look like. Create vision boards, imagine your future hobbies, involve things that mentally stimulate you, keep the spark of curiosity in your life, and nurture your inner dreamer. 

➣ You are connecting with your sensitivity at this time, finding the sweet spot where your mind and heart meet, and letting it fuel your zeal for life. Get these thoughts on paper. Journal them, draw them, sing it, and call this energy into the 3D. Your life is about to have a complete 180. Maintain faith.

➣ You’re seeing a lot of synchronicities currently. Animal synchronicities and repeating numbers(111,444,222,1144,1414). You’ll find strangely personal messages in music and media. Maybe you’re seeing shapes repetitively pop up around you in your environment, like stars or eyes. 

➣ Patience is a life lesson for this pile, there is a lesson to be learned in the stillness of your life. You are mentally restless right now, slow your body down and try out parasympathetic regulation techniques to calm your racing thoughts. Go swimming, take a class, try out a new hobby. In this “womb” era, enjoy your last moments of stillness because your life turns up a notch. I’m not even getting rebirth, I’m getting BIRTH. No matter your age, your life is truly beginning in this new season.

➣ Advice: I see a lot of clouds. I see angel symbolism. You’re ascending. You’re shedding old skin, letting go of dead weight, and you’re growing wings, getting ready to experience life to the fullest. Maintain hope that your life will pick up pace and become exciting again. 

➣ Find peace in this waiting period. Listen to bird sounds!!! They are going to calm your mind and elevate you emotionally. You’re growing your wings and getting ready to take off like a bird, you should learn from the best. Okay, I love you, the universe loves you, MUAH <3.

"Your sim has gone stir-crazy!"

watching tumblr shit on my images in real time is just...

On a lighter note, I know some of these piles are heavy, I posted my first reading two days ago, and the support I received has brought so much joy into my life. I love doing this, if you like this me doing this, I'll do this forever. I am eternally grateful for all of you likes, reblogs, and comments <3

Also, some of these piles are connected, feel free to poke around and pick up on messages spread out for you. okay, I'm done. kisses! MUAH

[thewisewill80sbyers]

hi umh sorry for asking but im kinda ignorant about this, can you explain why you still support Noah? No hate im just curious cuz i only saw him with the stickers and I was confused...

I'll say it again, I'm not really a fan of anybody, I'm a fan of the characters more than anything else - but the situation and the stuff I've been reading about him is extremely vile, this level of harassment means actively trying to make him kill himself and I don't believe he deserves that because I don't believe he's "evil" as people online wants to depict him, you usually can see it when someone is a vile person that would deserve to be attacked and he is just not that

- While his statements did have problematic things in it in my opinion it was more because of ignorance than actual malice and he needed to be educated and not attacked like that

- He tried apologizing and clarifying what he meant with a video and I believe he's genuine in it

- I know for a fact he has friends who are pro Palestine and he has been learning from them and deconstructing

-The stickers were not made by him, he was used for clout by the people that you see in the video around him and in that period he was hanging out with a 30 year old man that was an actual Zionist from there and was influencing Noah + if you look up the Instagram page affiliated to the "Zionism is sexy" stickers, which I did when this happened and I have the screenshots saved in my pc, you'll find that in that page they were going on posting stuff saying that Zionism only meant that they wanted safety for Jewish people while also living in peace etc etc (which is propaganda!) so the whole problem is that there's a different perception of the MEANING of the word, they believed that meaning while not being aware of the real situation in the region and also believing all the lies that those people try to spread around. At that moment he was literally put in the middle and didn't react appropriately, but if you grow up surrounded by people trying to convince you of that you would probably be acting in the same way

- He stopped supporting Israel and is against what is happening in Gaza

- He donated money to Gazans multiple times in secret because he's not doing it only to be forgiven and didn't brag about it

- I know people who know him and have seen receipts of all of this btw

- I know things about his life that the public doesn't know and I will not share because it would be highly fucked up and evil to do that, but I do have compassion for him also because of this outside of the fact that he's just a kid to me and you should have compassion in general for people and not want them to kill themselves (especially when they are NOT actual trash humans. There are trash humans out there and I am not above wishing for their death, but Noah is not one of them)

- He had to start therapy to deal with all of this

- He was 19 years old and the world is not black and white, people that grow up with the influence of the propaganda are not guilty for believing it, especially when they're young because they're being preyed on by older people the majority of the time

- there's LOTS of people that don't give a fuck about it and are hating on him because they want easy likes not because they care about the genocide. People should start looking at themselves in the mirror and I can't stand the insane hypocrisy I've seen since this started.

Hating on him will not help anybody, and it's not "a call out" it's cruel harassment, suicide instigation, homophobic slurs, rape threats.

In general no one should support the amount of harassment and hate he has been getting because he did not do anything that makes him deserve that, being ignorant and staying neutral by wishing that both Palestinians and Israelis were safe in what you perceived as a conflict because you have a misunderstanding of what is going on because you grew up with people telling you that "it's complicated" and repeating the propaganda around you, doesn't make you a "genocidal maniac" it only makes you ignorant and people should want others to be educated if we want a better world... which he is doing in private for now

I've been on the other side of online harassment myself even if in a way smaller amount thankfully, but some people don't have my character and can't stand this type of pressure mentally, so he is choosing to stay private now with all of this, and honestly it was hard for me too some days it did make me upset that so many people misunderstood my character... so I can't even imagine what receiving the GIANT amount of hate and comments on his appearance and his character is doing to him mentally and I find this extremely fucked up so I don't want to just ignore it even if I could mind my business and be "more popular" like that, it's just morally wrong.

[evieelyzabethh]

a college!jayce oneshot would be sooo goood. I love the way u write and the details u add! angsty,fluff,smut i dont mind. Just anything is fine with me 🤞🤞

be warned, this is incredibly self indulgent because I just finished my exams and desperately need to get dicked down by my slightly pervy husband...anyway

collegeau!Jayce is usually the one requesting the rewards for his "hard work", but being the kind, perceptive boyfriend, he has known exactly what you need in these very trying times. When he realized he couldn't talk you down from your all-nighters, he stayed up with you, mini fridge stocked with energy drinks and his coffee machine on stand-by when you got tired of the cold drinks. He's there with you for your hours long library visits, biding his time by making you good luck origami cranes or listening to you teach him the concepts you're studying for practice. If you need silence, he quieter than a mouse, if you need someone to talk to, he's all ears.

By the time his finals are done, yours aren't. There must some cruel force in the universe that mandated not only exams, but papers, projects, and presentations all be placed into your lap with rather constricting due dates and very short turn-around periods. The struggle was manageable enough when you were both going through it, but now that he's reached the end of the tunnel alone, he misses his girlfriend. Now, he sees you eating sleep for dinner and nearly going cross-eyed from the countless hours you've spent going back and forth between your textbook, your laptop, and your notes.

Any word he'd say would be hypocritical. To try and convince you to take it easy and come back to bed would be hilariously insincere considering that the trenches look identical for the both of you. But now his head is clearer, and he's forced to watch your increasingly slouchy posture and hope your poor heart can stomach the insane amounts of caffeine you've ingested in such a short period of time.

Eventually, all the papers have been turned in and he's waiting anxiously for you outside of the lecture hall where your final final just took place, and you look alive for the first time in weeks, but you're still a bit sluggish. Ain't shit funny til those grades populate, so you find it within yourself to smile but there's still a fragile week ahead of you when you really could cry at any given moment if pushed hard enough.

This just won't do, though!!! collegeau!Jayce believes he has thoroughly failed as a boyfriend as he watches you, sprawled out on his bed, some show mindlessly droning on in the background, continuously refreshing your email and course page. So much so, that he plucks the phone right from his hands and throws it into one of his messy drawers. And you try to grab it, though not making it very far as his long strides catch up to you rather quickly and your being hoisted over his shoulders and thrown back onto his bed, exactly where you belong.

See, besides the obvious torture of watching you torture yourself; Jayce has not gotten off in weeks; he would feel guilty if he wasn't able to be there for you because he's too busy jerking off in the bathroom while you're hard at work. So, he was being the good boyfriend, the one who's pleasure is completely derived from your own and he can't even try to make himself feel good if you aren't. But now, the hard times have passed, and he cannot fathom holding off any longer than he already has.

"Jayce-" And thank fuck you decided to wear a skirt today because if he had to fiddle with jeans, he would've lost his damn mind. "Jay, get off." He looks up at you with the biggest, brownest puppy dog eyes you ever did see, hands held where you could see them. "You really want me to stop?" No, of course you don't. "I wanna see if my grades been posted." He rolls his eyes so deeply you'd think he was searching the very wrinkles of his brain for a fuck to give.

His large hands move over your thighs, hypnotizingly playing with the hem of your skirt, the crotch of your terribly thin panties, rubbing his thumb what he's really been craving for the worst part of these past two weeks. "I really don't care." If he weren't so impatient, he would've been smoother. Maybe kissed you until your head got all fuzzy, gave more attention to your tits, maybe he would've bothered to actually remove any of your clothing.

collegeau!Jayce who is just so messy and couldn't be paid to give a shit as he's eating you out through your panties. It catches you by surprise, the voracious way he plunges in, nose knocking at your clothed entrance as he licks and sucks at the growing wet spot forming. You grab at his hair, which only grows his already painfully hard erection. "Ngh.", is all that comes from his mouth. It was initially meant to be some sort of plea, pull it harder, please, but for his request to be heard, he would've had to pull away. He would rather die than do that before you gushed over his tongue.

He's making out with it, aggressive with the way he pushes himself further and further into you and his canines nick at the fabric until it inevitably tears right through. Both of your moan's echo around his walls along with the squeaking of the bed with the sheer force that he ruts his hips into it. "Sometimes, I really think you hate me." The accusation vibrates straight through your pussy, making your body shake before the words even hit your ears. "No -ah, fuck, I don't." He nods into you. "Only explanation for denying me heaven."

collegeau!Jayce who is a munch before all else, his fingers leaving prints on your thighs that are already wrapped tightly around his head, his other hand pressing down on your waist. You had this annoying habit of squirming away from him, cries about it being too much falling on deaf ears. He is a firm believer there is no such thing as too much of a good thing, only people who don't believe they deserve the abundance of good coming to them.

Jayce is that abundance, sucking on your clit until it becomes too much and you shake in his strong hands, your hips fighting against his calm hands that try to rub soothing circles into your skin. "Quit running from it, baby. Jus' want you to feel better. Don't you wanna feel good? Hm?"And the tears eventually start flowing. Your just overwhelmed, you haven't had your brain properly shut off in months. "Jay, too much." But he's not done yet, instead, he tries to indicate through touch what he would whisper in your ear. You can take it. You deserve a little treat, a nice reward. His pretty girl just needs to be loosened up, just needs to think a little less, and as the best boyfriend in the world, he's going to make that happen.

[fetusbaconegg]

still curious

you say people are disregarding the canon of chara, which you understand as an immoral and fucked up character. right. okay. are you not doing that when shipping brothers together, or even in your recent posts talking about papyrus? from what i could see, you’re weirdly against papyrus finding other skeletons (made to look badass and corny—that’s their appeal) funny because of the violent depictions. however, you gloss over the fact that papyrus set up a trap with spears, fire, etc with full intentions of harming the player. during his fight, his intentions are to harm—not kill—the player. you act as if these are not acts of violence, when they are. he is a grown man, and your arguments seem to have him depicted as someone who knows very little about violence. i’m autistic myself. we’re not completely clueless. making papyrus innocent to violence is a slippery slope into a one-dimensional character and ableism.

no one can stop you from writing incest, but that doesn’t mean they can’t bash you as much as you bash others for enjoying chara and kris as characters. you’re being weirdly preachy and using loose connections to guilt and shame people who are against proshipping (seen as a logical fallacy fyi, which aid in invalidating your arguments). you can’t act like that and then turn around and bash others for enjoying immorally wrong characters, when you yourself are against the censorship of immorally wrong actions.

realism is the act of adding traits real people exhibit to make a character relatable and more than just one dimensional. it’s taking into consideration age, time period, and events to shape how an ACTUAL person could grow and react. that’s what realistic writing is. it’s making 2-dimensional, 3-dimensional, etc, characters. i don’t know if you write or create characters yourself, but understanding that characters are allowed to be both bad and good is crucial. i don’t care for chara or kris, do not believe i’m biased, but i am fully capable in seeing both their bad and good traits, which a lot of people take into their own perspectives (you included). that will lead to canon-divergent interpretations, which i am very sorry to say, happens to describe your perceptions of chara and kris as well.

It ain't my understanding it's what canon says about em and no I am not killing people by shipping two characters from different dimensions who ain't related together. (Although I don't I just used that example I ship my own ocs with both Sans and Swap Papyrus) like are you good mentally to think ship = genocide? And I didn't ask for your opinion of me nor do I care thank you very much someone as stupid as to believe genocide and shipping are the same thing doesn't deserve their opinion heard.

also it's not my fault you are a fascist. Procensorpship is a fascist stance so...yeah. I'm not a proshipper I am an adult with a job that things that whole discourse is idiotic and y'all should touch grass.

also realism still ≠ good writing and pretending an evil murderous demon is a real child and defending them as such won't make your story better.

and you are heavily biased. And stupid too but fascists aren't particularly educated or smart.

[itspheenixbaby]

elephant in the room 🐘

rant about the state of online shifting; "get-it-off my chest" moment

part 1. scripting trauma/ being a bad person in a dr how many people are really doing "bad things" or scripting in trauma in their dr? lets be so fucking for real here. why is it that everytime someone "morally corrupt" it gets exposed months apart and the "culprit" is some small ass account with like ten followers? its not common. and im not saying it never happens. but shiftok is always on about these people and im like...who tf are yall talking about? they find one bad apple and then decide the whole community needs to be reminded how fucked up it is to do xyz.

i mean lets be realistic, how many people are going out of their way to script something traumatic or harmful? the majority of the online community (reddit, tumblr, tiktok) always talks about shifting for their s/o, adventure, frienships, family or a better life in some way. how many people are deliberately scripting to harm themselves or others? and is the number really so much that we need thinkpiece after thinkpiece about it?

aand when others behave immorally or get traumatized in their dr they will experience it. they will see the effects of any bad things they do to others. they will feel the trauma first hand and suffer from what theyve scripted in many ways. we dont need to punish these people. their dr will do it for them.

P. S what about when you shift to a dr like the walking dead? or even mha and keep in the war arc? thats traumatic. hell, even an idol / fame dr can be traumatic and those are hella common! yet nobody bats an eye or reprimands it...odd...

part 2. racebending race doesnt exist. i saw a shiftoker (a white one too??) act like someone was crazy for saying it! the whole concept was created by europeans! white mans burden, race based social classes, and eugenics all seems natural to yall? i mean logically its not odd to anyone that modern racial concepts were made by the same group of people in the same time period...? the time period people needed excuses to kill, rape, steal from and enslave other groups... search up "who created race" and then report back to me..anyways..

name one good thing that splitting people up and assigning them identities based on their background does for us? its caused mocking of those that dont fit the mold their race gives them, harmful views of other because of their racial group(s) and low self esteem from outside perceptions of your race. oh and division among groups on top of everything. so what is the point of holding on to race? abandon it! shift to be white, asian, black, indigenous, do what you want! youre not "changing your race" until you shift to become a different species (and theyres obvi nothing wrong w that!).

and some people say "if you script your another race your downplaying the racism poc face" but not every country has the same type of racism the states has. not every country is even as racist as the states. for example if im shifting to be fully south korean born & raised, and live full time in south korea, its not likely ill experience racism. and even so you can just...script out racism? like what...some people literally hate shifters who dont script out racism and expect everyone to script it out, but then turn to say that they cant change their race because of racism...huh? genuinely dont get that.

P. S im only really preaching abandonment of race so flippantly in regard to shifting. in this reality we're kinda stuck with it at this point lol.

P.S.S and it seems shifters from the usa hate racebending the most! as an american, i wonder how much of that is being intimidated that the concept of a racial hierarchy, that our nation has been built upon for centuries, can be shattered so easily...and therefore obviously proves it as obsolete. food for thought. (half joking here teehee)

[twinkling-moonlillie]

Headcannons for Hawks fluffy but little be suggestive if possibly alright.

~🩷

A/n: Yes yes yes yes, I love this. This isn't super long but I hope you enjoy. Nothing makes me happier than receiving requests!! This was a much needed distraction. I have another request I am almost done with too, so expect that Friday.

Hawks Headcanons Part 2: Fried Chicken Boogaloo

Warnings: Suggestive

Keigo wasn’t a jealous or possessive guy, but he loves being able to mark up your neck with lovebites. Not only was it enjoyable to see you writhe when he had his lips on your neck, but he felt proud knowing that people were aware that you’re his.

Keigo is very perceptive of everything going on around him, which works to his advantage when gift giving is one of his top love languages. He is able to notice the way your eyes linger on a certain necklace or outfit and loves to surprise you with those items later on. He is so keenly aware that he notices when something is bothering you. 

And although sometimes he isn’t able to thoroughly articulate the comfort he desperately wants to give, he DOES conveys it through his actions. 

Hugs are 10x better with his wings; it’s like a second pair of arms keeping you warm. 

One of the things he delights in the most is when you share parts of your normalcy with him. Sharing stories about your day while nuzzled up on the couch, or agonizing over an essay due at midnight, or even going to the grocery store. He adores it all because they are the things he lacked as a child, the things he currently lacks as a hero. Keigo doesn’t care if it’s mundane. 

Keigo has a habit of singing or humming when cooking or doing chores. 

PET NAMES! Oh my god does this man love pet names.  He is particularly fond of calling you his little songbird or lovelark. But he does use regular pet names as well, such as darling and baby. 

He is absolutely smitten over the intimacy of skin-on-skin contact, whether that be through sex or something else. When you two sleep together, he sheds all of his clothes hastily - or if it’s right after sex he makes no move to retrieve his clothes. He is also fairly certain he can keep you warmer than any pesky clothing item you may have. 

This man, this fucking BIRD, loves kissing you. Anywhere will do, just as long as it is somewhere. Sweet little kisses on the forehead after a bad day, steamy kisses as he pins you against the wall, loving kisses when you have to part for a significant period of time (anytime away from you is a significant amount), morning kisses painted with streaks of gold, night kisses memorizing curves of your body, ALL OF THEM. HE NEEDS THEM ALL. 

[rottenpumpkin13]

I'm miserable today so I'll be casting my period cramps upon AGSZC and the Turks. How does that go?

Sephiroth: *curled in fetal position on the floor* "This is manageable. The spasms occur at precise 4.7-minute intervals, meaning I can anticipate and prepare—" *Suddenly, a period cramp electrocutes him like a bolt from Zeus himself. His entire body convulses, limbs flailing as he flops helplessly against the floor like a fish out of water*

Genesis: *sprawled dramatically across the couch, one arm draped over his forehead like a dying opera singer* "Even in the throes of agony, my elegance remains untarnished. My composure, unshaken. This pain—this merciless, soul-rending torment—threatens my very being, a cruel reminder of life's fleeting—" *he gets a cramp* "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK—HOLY SHIT. I AM PERISHING. I AM BEING SMITED BY THE GODDESS HERSELF. THIS IS HOW I DIE. CALL A PRIEST, CALL A SUMMON, CALL MY FUCKING LAWYER—"

Angeal: *pacing the room like a man with somewhere very important to be but no idea where that is, visibly sweating* "I'm fine. Totally fine. This is nothing. This is...just a different kind of honor. Builds character. Toughens the spirit."

Zack: *writhing on the floor* "MAKE IT STOP! HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE LIKE THIS!?" *He reaches for Cloud like he's the holy light at the end of the tunnel* "Cloud, buddy, I'm dying. Tell my mom I fought bravely. Tell Genesis he can have my cool jacket. Tell Kunsel—" *he gasps, clutching at his chest like a tragic protagonist* "—actually, don't tell him anything, he still owes me 500 gil fuck him—"

Cloud: *frantically mixing things in a bowl while doubled over* "Mom always said when the gods curse your gut, you mix honey with hot sauce and vinegar, but it HAS to be bought with your own hard earned money. Then add exactly three and a half crushed potato chips—regular chips summon bad luck, has to be the rippled ones—stir it with a fork that's NEVER touched eggs, and then you—" *Cloud suddenly doubles over, clutching his stomach as the wrath of the gods strike him down* "Oh no. Oh no, they saw me hesitate!"

Reno: *draped over his desk* "This is worse than that time Cissnei tasered me 'cause she thought I was checking out her ass—when really, I was just picking up a gil coin she dropped. Which, now that I think about it, means I technically stole from her. So honestly? She should've tasered me anyway. Yo, Rude! Carry me to the break room! I need like... fifty painkillers and that bottle of sake Tseng thinks we don't know about!"

Tseng: *sits at his desk, spine straight as a ruler, expression unreadable, the very picture of composure—if you ignore the faint sheen of sweat on his forehead and the barely perceptible tremor in his hand as he sips his tea* This is the same man who once reviewed mission reports with both legs in casts. Who attended a board meeting while actively bleeding from a bullet wound. Who once politely asked an enemy combatant to "wait a moment" so he could finish signing off on supply requisitions before engaging in a life-or-death fight.

Rufus: *sprawled out on his office floor like a fallen king* "Cancel all my meetings. Actually, cancel the whole damn week. No, cancel existence. This is worse than getting shot. Worse than the attempted coup. Worse than that time I had to shake hands with that sweaty politician from Junon. Someone bring me the most expensive chocolate money can buy. And fire whoever invented cramps." *A long silence. Then, he turns his head slightly to stare at Tseng* "Why don't you love me?"

[robo-writing]

we’re being horny on main ?? BEAUTIFUL. LETS GO GIRLS (gender neutral)

imagine period sex with Logan, y’all start making out and reader stops him before it goes too far to let him know that it’s shark week. He asks:

“You sayin’ that because you think I’ll find it gross, or because you feel gross and don’t want to fuck right now.”

because sadly men tend to find period sex disgusting and maybe it makes reader feel gross in return. Logan assures them that he’s seen plenty of blood in his lifetime and had plenty on his hands as well, he literally doesnt give a fuck about period blood. he just wants to make his pretty baby feel good, and orgasms help ease cramps too.

….this totally didn’t spawn from Logan laughing and grinning when Wade’s blood splashed in his mouth or anything 👉👈

Between his wandering hands and worshipping touch, there's a growing worry eating at you alive, one that he's able to sense far too well. Almost as soon as it begins, you stop, and it takes one worried look at you before Logan's grilling you for answers.

Something's different this time—you're hiding something. And he's not going to continue until you tell him. "What's on your mind doll?" He says. "Nothing," you lie. "Just don't feel up for it is all." "Okay, there's nothing wrong with that," his hands smooth over your ruffled shirt, his attempt at making you feel a bit more comfortable. "But that's not what I asked." It's times like this where you hate how perceptive he is, how he's so quick to know your tells. He stares you down until you finally relent with a sigh, looking away from him. "I'm on my period." "So?" A pause. "Logan, I'm on my period." "Yeah, you said that already." He answers annoyed. "Your point being?" "Logan, I get that you're a gentleman and I love you for it, but it's okay if you don't want to continue—" "Okay, wait, lemme get this straight," He interrupts you with a shake of his head. "You don't wanna keep going because you're on your period and you think I care?" There's a palpable silence between the both of you, laced with confusion. "Well, don't you?" You don't know how you expected him to react, but laughing wasn't on your list. A real, chest-bursting laugh reaching your ears, immediately followed by his arms around your torso. "Doll, I couldn't give two shits about what time of the month it is, the last thing I'm afraid of is a little blood." His voice is like honey in your ear, a reassurance that sets your mind at ease and causes your body to relax in his hold. You can tell he meant every word, and if you needed any further evidence, you can feel exhibit B currently prodding against your thigh. "Now, since we've cleared that up—lie back and lemme handle the rest."

[capicola323427]

YEE-HAAAAW!!!

Here's the drawing I was working on!!!

I drew this after seeing someone mention a Rootin' Tootin' Gunslingin' Susie and I had to draw her. You know when you see such a great idea that you have to draw it, like you have to. Yeah, that's how I felt... I meant to make a timelapse of this one but I forgot to turn it on. Funnily enough this is one of those drawings where I ended up adding more and more onto it as I continued. Originally it was just going to be Susie hog-tying Meta Knight against a plain background...but... I ended up getting thoughts like...

"Why would Susie be a cowgirl? What if Susie was a sheriff?"

"Oh, remember those exploitative company towns? Haltmann Works would definitely be one of those!"

"Ah, Sheriff Susie would definitely use a some really long ranged revolver!"

"Meta Knight being a Sheriff is fitting but I want to see him be an outlaw on the side of good!!!"

and other such thoughts. Anyways, I've mentioned this before but I loooove period-piece games or games that are stimulatory of another place and time and possibly my numba one in that category is....

RED DEAD REDEMPTION 2

I enjoyed it a lot, Tilly, Lenny, Hosea, and Van Der Linde were my favorite characters! I still play it even after finishing the Epilogue and main campaign just to do shit like play poker, go hunting, and so on. I haven't modded it so once I learn to do that, I'll probably play more of it.

Here is my horse, Mon Doux Petit. Yes, he loves stomping birds to death but I love him anyways.

Here is my other horse who, unlike Mon Doux Petit, is a major fucking PUSSY who runs away at the slightest bit of trouble like the disappointment he is. In cowardice, he makes up with being the fastest.

ANYWAYS. Enough rambling, back to the main topic. I bring up this game to talk about the idea of a Wild West Kirby AU. I know, I fucking KNOW there's a new novel that's exactly that but I haven't read it yet and I probably won't. I would prefer to shift my perception and spend hours imaging a Kirby Wild West AU. I dunno, if a friend reads it I'll ask him about it and compare, the novel is probably waaay better than my ideas.

Anyways...

WILD WEST KIRBY AU IDEAS GO!!!

Meta Knight is the leader of a renegade gang of vigilante mercenary cow boys called the Halberd Gang. They're positively revered as much as they are feared! King Dedede would lead a gang of wild bandits known as the Deadly Dee Despots, Bandana Waddle Dee being his right hand man. Unlike Meta Knight's gang, King Dedede's isn't concerned with being upstanding gentleman! As for Kirby, he's the most powerful warrior and leader of his tribe of other puffballs! Kirby and Meta Knight work together quite frequently to take down the constant growth of industrialization by Haltmann Works Company!

Magolor's a shop-keeper in a little town that Taranza is the mayor of.

...I can't think of other characters....

Here's some extra stuff

[strayflowersstarsandlove]

Kiki's delivery service (bangchan)

Rearranging your legs underneath you for the 5th time, you squish your cheek onto Chan's pectoral, breathing in the delicate scent of his laundry detergent and his cologne. Pain will make you miserable and achy but it won't ruin your Friday night with him. It's imperative.

Chan has usually so little time off you jumped at any occasion to spend a quiet night in forcing him to catch up on Studio Ghibili movies. He needed the culture and you needed the lazy late night cuddles on the couch. Period pain be damned.

"You've been quiet an awful lot tonight...", Chan mumbles softly, not fully averting his eyes from the screen as he leans in to kiss your temple, "is everything okay?", he asks, subtly referencing the fact that you and Jisung had basically ganged up on him and forced him to begin his journey through Miyazaki works of art. And also the fact that you'd usually ended up spoiling every single scene for him cause you needed to explain everything into the tiniest little details.

Also also referencing the fact that you tended to go silent whenever you were suffering. Whether it was mental pain or physical pain, you tried your best to power through it, grit your teeth and stubbornly keep going until you were on the brink of another mental breakdown.

He was always there to pick up your pieces and glue them back together. And you loved him for it, even though you felt bad for making him feel like you were another one of his responsibilities, someone he had to take care of, but you were so grateful for him as well and it wasn't like you could really help it, he had this deeply rooted nurturer in him that made him care for you so effortlessly whether you wanted him to or not.

Chan was also super attentive and perceptive. He picked up on every single one of your little details and quirks and peculiarities. Which meant that he definitely knew you weren't okay at the moment, he was just gently letting you know... without letting you know.

You sigh as another stab of pain hits your lower abdomen and it makes you squeeze your eyes shut and hiss in pain, what a perfect timing to just blatantly lie to your very smart very intuitive boyfriend: "yeah, yeah everything's fine. Just tired".

Chan ponders for a second before deciding to just take the matter into his own hands. By literally doing so. He pauses Kiki's Delivery Service just as Kiki's flying on her broom above the ocean with the seagulls and cradles you in his arms until you're sitting in between his thighs.

Which is very normal behavior for cuddle monster Channie.

Until he just stills for a second, hands hovering over your torso, legs pressed firmly against yours so you can't move. And then he attacks you with tickles.

The air in your lungs is sucked out so fast you're crying laughing one second and gasping and wheezing the next: "PLZEASE CH-CHANAHAHAHAHAH I'M HAHAHA I'M - I'M DYING".

And you're not even exaggerating. Your tummy was already aching and your muscles tense that the added strain and effort of catching your breath makes your stomach do somersaults in between the sharp daggers digging at your uterus.

You try to squirm and thrash out of his grasp to no avail, "hahaha tell me the truth and I'll spare you hahaha, that's your only way out", he laughs and squeaks and if it wasn't for the fact that you're currently focusing all your energies on not passing out from the pain and the laughter you would have already jumped at his neck and kissed him silly because of how cute he sounds: "FIN-AHAHA FINE YOU HAHAHA YOU-AH YOU WIN HAHAHA".

He immediately stops and settles you back down in your former spot, hugging your sides and patting your tummy until you calm down your breathing again. You inhale deeply, grimacing a little from the pain, your hand reflexively reaching for his own as you give it a little squeeze.

"I'm about to get my period. I've been silently crying and screaming at myself for the last couple of hours. And you're fucking perceptive and I can't hide anything from you", you pout, finally spitting out the truth, "okay... And you didn't tell me because?", he goads on, sighing you turn to face him, kind eyes and an encouraging smile on his lips as he holds you close, "because... I feel like you already have so many things to worry about, you're always taking care of me and the boys and working over time and stressing about everything, I don't want to add onto that".

The man with impossibly perfect features sighs right back at you, not in an annoyed manner, more a self assured one:"you're not adding onto anything, y/n. You're the only person I can actually fully relax and just be me, just be Chris with. No idol duties, no leader ones, no big brother or producer or captain of everything ones. I don't HAVE to take care of you, I WANT to. I want you to be happy and well looked after and in a way it's even selfish, cause if you're happy and thriving then I'm happy and thriving, it's like an osmosis thing", he giggles.

You turn in your seat and playfully roll your eyes at him as you cup his cheeks and peck his lips, "there's not an ounce of selfishness in your entire body, babe. And you have a pretty god damn gorgeous body, at that".

He giggles so loudly he starts squeaking again, triggering your cuteness aggression. You kiss him all over his face and nibble at his reddened ears, you only stop once he's gone completely silent laughing, breath hitching, the most perfect pearly whites on full show as he smiles brightly at you and pulls you flush to his chest, "my baby girl", he sighs, his voice barely above a whisper, "I promise you don't stress me out at all, and that I like taking care of you", he insists, leaning in to kiss you, "now, is your tummy hurting really bad? Is there anything I can do to help? Belly rubs? A heating pad? Painkillers? ".

You know you'll never win this battle. You know he'll never stop making you feel alllll the butterflies no matter what he says or does cause it's just second nature to him being this kind and wholesome. You shake your head lightly and stroke his cheek, "I'll be okay. You're my heating pad", you snicker, positioning yourself with your back fully resting against his chest, his arms coming around you in a swift move,warm hands flat on your tummy.

You reprise the movie and for a while everything seems to be going smoothly. The pangs in your guts are still very much present but your boyfriend gentle rubs on your stomach are surprisingly soothing.

Eyelids fluttering almost close, you feel yourself relaxing more and more, progressively loosing focus on Kiki, much to your dismay. Up until Chan's hand start shifting closer and closer to the waistband of your pants. He acts completely nonchalant about it, one palm still rubbing soft circles over your tummy and the other inching down... down.

A tingling sensation crawling all over you, a warm rush to your chest, you swallow down quietly, feeling the muscles in your neck tensing up by the second, perhaps in anticipation. The rooms quiet, or the sound of your fast heartbeat has just drowned out any other sound, you're not sure, but Chan's quiet. He's very quiet even as he stealthily slips one finger, and then two fingers down underneath your pants, he traces small stripes over the fabric of your underwear, slow at first, his wrist barely flicking.

Thin fingers but rough, finger pads, he starts running his fingertips in circle motion over the areas he deems more sensitive, letting the hitch in your breathing guide the intensity of his motion, the speed of it, the direction of it. As soon as he's satisfied with the way you're reacting to him, he picks up his pace just slightly, a low, satisfied chuckle finally emerging from his mouth when your thighs visibly start to twitch, a boost to his ego, means he's doing something right, very right.

It's as if all the blood in your body starts running faster and faster, rushing through your veins at incredible speed only to then concentrate all at once, all of it at your centre, and with the friction generated there, you can't help but whimper, your abs contracting and relaxing almost spasmodically, the daggers of pain alternating with pleasure that comes in a wave that builds up and up and up.

A trickle of sweat down your spine, you clutch Chan's unoccupied wrist and squeeze, jolting upwards in an arch as you feel yourself approaching your high more and more, "i-I-", words come out of your mouth in whimpers, you try to articulate a single thought but manage nothing even remotely intelligible, Chan's hums softly and kisses your cheek, his lips lingering on your dewy skin, "yes, baby girl? don't hold back, don't hold back and come for me", he taunts in a sing songy voice, cooing and breathing softly in your ear.

And that's enough to send you over the edge.

Choking on the strangled noise bursting out of you, release washes over you. No more pain twisting your guts, just pure bliss.

You close your eyes and relax back into the arms that hold you, breathing hard and laboriously while Chan taps his fingers around the wetness, a satisfied snicker rolling off his lips, the very same lips now kissing your shoulder and the side of your neck so tenderly, "good girl, such a good girl for me eh? you're feeling all better?", he asks sweetly, moving a wisp of your hair away from your face with his unused hand, to which you nod and smile bashfully, still feeling oh so wonderfully numb and light and darn good.

The movie paused, yourself and the couch all cleaned up, you settle back on the leathery seat cushion and finish up the last few drops of your glass of water while Chan himself is cleaning up in the washroom, a stupid smile on your face that you just can't wipe off, you adjust in your seat and cross your arms over your tummy that gargles with unholy sounds of hunger and unrest, perhaps.

And then gushing. Warmth. Not the feel good kind, though.

You jump on your feet and immediately spot the enlarging smear of blood on the couch, a frenzy on panic immediately taking over you just as your boyfriend walks right in: "oh my god I'm so sorry oh my god oh my god I'm.. I'm-mortified oh my god", you start rambling and shaking and hurriedly pat around your inner thighs, growing exponentially alarmed when your palms come back pinkish.

"Hey hey it's okay, y/n it's okay, I promise", Chan promptly scrambles to you and cups your cheeks, locking eyes with you and immediately reading the discomfort in them, "I think you left some tampons in the third drawer of my nightstand, go check, and grab any of my clothes to change into,you'll be okay, it's okay, don't worry about a thing", he reassures, patting your head, that wonderful encouraging smile of his taking up his whole face.

"B-but your couch and-oh my god this is so embarrassing this is awfu-", you start but Chan merely giggles and gently shakes your shoulders, "BABE!!", he exclaims firmly, making you snap out of your panic and fall silent, "stop apologising, start washing up, this is absolutely fine, the couch is going to be just fine. Go, I got this", he instructs in a gentler tone, even winking at you reassuringly.

And you swear that's all you needed. That fragment of complicity, reassuring gesture that instantly calms you down.

The fabric of his shorts goes swish swosh around your knees but it's so soft from wear and tear that you kind of love it, you think to yourself, jogging downstairs and into the kitchen where you find Chan steeping some deliciously smelling tea.

"There she is, did you find your stuff? Are the pants okay?", he asks as soon as you step into his arms once again, the hugging machine within him just acting out of instinct: "yeah, yeah everything's fine. Thank you, and I apologise again, I hope the couch isn't stained forever", you reply meekly, looking down at your feet, "the stain came right out with a single swipe, and even if it didn't I'd be more worried over you not feeling this awful over something you cannot even control".

Butterflies. In your belly and in your heart. Yeah they're never ever leaving.

You look up into the kindest gaze and smile, bewildered at your immense luck in having Chan as your partner, "how are you so perfect Chris? Like seriously, you're the perfect mix of loving and kind and funny as hell and empathetic and hot and smart and mature and absolute fucking perfection how do you even exist?", you exclaim dramatically, eyes wide and heart shaped over this very man holding you into his arms, who now giggles loudly and leans in to peck your lips," I don't think I'm the perfect boyfriend yet, but I'm working on it. You make it really easy though, you make it a happy process too", he gushes, kissing your lips first and then the tip of your nose.

"Shall we go back to Kiki and her deliveries now? I made us some tea so it'll keep the cramps at bay if they're still bothering you", he suggests then, lacing his arm around your waist so he can lead you into the living room.

You both settle in your former seat arrangement and you smirk to yourself despise the flush creeping up your cheeks just thinking about what happened there not half an hour ago, "oh those?", you reprise the argument about your cramps, "vanished. Disappeared. Non existent. Your little trick earlier... I think you worked some kind of magic on me I don't know", you declare, and Chan bursts into laughs, the tips of his ears going bright red, pride and flustered giddiness both coexisting in him at the moment, the epitome of a perfectly complex man.

[schizosupport]

kinda frustrated that the culture around delusions is that "you HAVE to break them and they're ALWAYS bad." Because of my personality, I "know", logically, that some of my beliefs are delusions, but I also still believe them. If I were to answer a question about them, I would say "Yes, this is a delusion", but I still act + think as if they weren't. And it is like. Physically painful to acknowledge that it's a delusion for any long periods of time, it feels like a game of tug of war in my brain and it gives me headaches. All that is to say, some of my delusions are harmless, if not helpful, and risking trying to break one entirely just to fit into societal norms of what I should be thinking is at best unnecessary and at worst dangerous.

I agree so much with you on this. I think anti psychotic sentiments mix with general ideas of conformity to create a situation in which even non-harmful and helpful delusions are seen as something bad.

Like I'm not saying people with kin types, or trans people, etc, are delusional, but it's interesting that the way a lot of people react towards these different self perceptions is to say shit like "don't encourage their delusions".. and what they mean is, don't let there be joy and identity in this, this difference in experience is pathological and therefore morally wrong??

Like there's a lot to unpack there..

And psychiatrists frequently will mirror sentiments about how all psychosis is always bad and to be eradicated, even if we must eradicate so much else in a person with increasingly harsher treatment options...

My own psych fucked me up back in the day because I accidentally mentioned my experiences with (helpful) plurality. They saw it as a symptom that I was getting worse. They changed my meds that were previously working well at the dose I was on. And they made me scared of what was once a helpful coping mechanism.

I really think that society needs to get over its fear of people with differences in experience, stat. And doubly so for psychotic people, as the defence for other groups is all too often "well we Are not delusional (implying "so it's okay that we have differences in experience, as opposed to if we really were psychotic, in which case it could not be allowed)"..