#and it doesn't sound like i'm missing out on anything.
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darling2411 · 1 day ago
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Her Shadow
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Jason Todd x reader
1.8K
*:・✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You were confused. It's been nearly a week since you last saw your shadow. Was he gone? Did you scare him off when you called out for him? Or did something happen?
Why did you even care? It wasn't like you knew him. But you missed the feeling of safety his closeness gave you. Yes you never saw him,but you always sensed his presence, and you missed him now that you didn't.
You stopped feeling alone as soon as your shadow entered your life because you weren't. No matter where you went, you could always rely on him to be there. 
Jason longed to be with you, but he had to stay away until he recovered from a mission gone wrong.
He had to lay low for a while after you saw him anyway. But the week he had to spend away from you was one of the hardest things he ever had to do.
His entire being begged to be with you. To keep an eye on you and make sure everything was okay. He had even gone so far as to think about asking his brother to come see how you were doing and find out whether everything was okay, but he decided against it. Jason wanted to keep you all to himself. And to be fair he doesn't even really have you. Yes he knows as much about you as he could figure out without really breaking every sense of your privacy. But you don't know him. And he had to change that as soon as possible. Jason wanted to get to know you, but he didn’t know how he could achieve that.
Like a gift sent from heaven the solution to his most pressing problem came in the form of yourself. 
Other than a few scratches on his face Jason was all healed, but he hasn't seen you in 10 days and he missed you.
He was on his way back to his apartment when he unexpectedly saw you. His heart started beating faster and he could swear that if it could his heart would jump out of his chest and intertwine with yours.
However, all of his optimistic thoughts vanished when he realizes in what situation you are in and instead his head is filled with rage.
A man was pressing you against the brick wall of a building and you were screaming at him to let you go. You were making it clear that you didn’t want this, that he was making you incredibly uncomfortable, but the guy wouldn't let you go. 
Jason was fuming and before he himself could realize what he was doing he pulled the man off you and started beating him.
You were able to breathe again as soon as the man was shoved away from you and after taking a few deep breaths you noticed that the man who pushed the creep of you was still beating him. You heard a sickening crunch and you knew it was the sound of bones breaking. 
"Hey!" you exclaimed, "please stop." And as soon as your voice reached Jason's ears he stopped immediately, his sole focus on you.
"Are you alright?" His breathing was irregular as he asked.“Did he hurt you?”
You shake your head no “ Other than being a creep you stepped in before anything bad could happen.”
“Don't do that” Jason said, his gaze still full of rage, “That he even put his hand on you without you giving him permission is to much”
You flushed and shrugged your shoulders, saying, "I know, but it wasn't like he assaulted me." 
“He did!” Why were you so adamant on telling him that nothing happened?
“Perhaps, but it makes no difference. You stopped him and nothing really happened. And I'm not gonna say anything anyway.” you rolled your eyes.
Jason was baffled “What do you mean you won't say anything? You have to report him.” He looked at you expectantly.
"Report him?I will either get fired or no one will believe me if I report him, Mister-huge-bicep.” You say being unable not to notice his shirt pressing against the bulging muscles in his arms. You turned to the creep who unfortunately happened to be your boss or rather professor. You were his assistant and most of the time he behaved himself but lately more often than not he made weird jokes and sexual comments. But you needed the money, the job in the little supermarket on the corner didn't cover all your expenses. And you really like your little apartment. If not for your job as a teaching assistant you would have to move back in with your mother and that was something you really don't want to do. 
Mr. Huge Bicep? Jason was overcome with male pride, but he was unable to concentrate on it at the moment. There were more pressing matters. “Is he your boss?” He took a step towards you, saying, “Yn. I asked if he is your boss”
Hold on, did he just say your name? Did you tell him? You must have but when?
“How do you know my name? I didn't tell you, did i?”
Shit, he fucked up” That doesnt matter right now, Is he your boss or not?”
"Yes, he is. He is my professor and also my boss. I’ m his teaching assistant and I really need that job”
“Alright this is what we’re going to do now. First of all I'm gonna walk you home and make sure nothing else happens to you. Then we are going to talk about what you plan to do with your professor and after that I'm gonna explain to you why I know your name, alright ?”
“That sounds good and I'm gonna make us a little something to eat and don't you even try to say no. It's the least I can do after you literally saved me.” you smiled up at him kindly.
How could he ever say no to you in any way? He was totally smitten with you and he never even really talked to you until today.
“Alright” You already turned away from him and didn't see the slight smile on his face after he accepted your invitation.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
The two of you made your way over to your apartment. If you noticed that he led the way there without you telling him where to go you didn't say anything. 
You opened the door when you arrived and let him inside. 
Your apartment is a pure reflection of yourself. It is plaid out in your favourite colours and all your little hyperfixation are displayed all over the place. It was so unapologetically you and Jason immediately felt at peace. Just like he usually did when he was following you around as your shadow and was in your mere presence .
“Nice place” he muttered as you ushered him into your little kitchen. 
“Thanks, I love it” you beamed.
Yeah he could see that. “Is that why you don't want to tell anyone about your boss?” he asked, his voice soft.
“Yes,” you answered silently.” If I want to keep this place and I really do, then I also have to keep that job.” You just got your shot at independence and you weren't going to let it slip through your fingers without a fight.
“Okay then.”, Jason sighed, ”Has he ever done anything similar ?” he asked, his fist clenched tight. The simple thought of you being in a situation like this before without him there was making him want to punch the professor all over again. Additionally he was extremely mad at himself because how could he not know that you had a second job and that your professor was a fucking creep? If he had known about this he would have helped you sooner. Jason hoped that your boss would still be where he left him later so he could give him another beating for even thinking about you inappropriately.
“No, not really. I mean he always made little comments but he has never been physical with me before. I think it is my fault. I was really nice to him this morning and said that we could meet up to mark the next exams after the lectures were finished and I think he misunderstood me.” your voice got more unsure the more you tried to explain yourself.
“This was definitely not your fault. He is stupid and heard what he wanted to hear. Nothing that happened had anything to do with what you said or how you behaved. This is not your fault, sweetheart” Jason squeezed your shoulders reassuringly.
You looked at him sheepishly, his fingers now drawing little patterns into your skin calming you down. “ I know that I'm supposed to feel like that, but I can't help but feel guilty. I know that the guilt has to change sides but the victims almost always gets all the blame and it’s so deep ingrained in us that even I as a woman sometimes think that it is my fault and that is so messed up.” You sigh heavily.
“Yes it is that is why you have to report him” Jason says trying to persuade you to do the thing he thinks is right.”Nothing will change if you don’t try.”
“You really think that it will help?” you ask, still unsure if anything will change if you report your professor.
“If I come with you yes” Jason says extremely sure of himself.
“What is that supposed to mean?” you ask perplexed.
“Well I uhm” he trailed off , not quite sure what to say. Should he already tell you about his connection to Bruce? “I mean I saw what happened so im sure they have to believe you if  you have a witness.” 
“You're right I will report him first thing in the morning. I hope you know that you have to come with me. You are the witness after all.” Now it is your time to look at him expectantly.
He did know and the possibility of spending more time with you made him all giddy inside.
“Yeah, no problem.” He looked at you intensely, finally being able to really look at you without as much distance between you as when he was keeping an eye on you from far away. You are the most magnificent thing Jason has ever laid his eyes upon. And if he could he would never stop looking at you.
“You said you would tell me how you know my name?”,that got Jason's attention and he stopped staring at your perfectly kissable lips and focused on your eyes instead.
“Yes but how about we eat something before I tell you?” He asked, trying to delay the conversation as long as he could before he has to tell you everything and you wouldn’t want to see him ever again.
He hopes you won't hate him when he confesses to being your shadow.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
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peapodbond · 2 days ago
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that was us part eight
aka fuck it friday
tagged by @leashybebes
skipping ahead a few parts because i can and i want to. aka 7x05 as seen through the lens of the former fiancee/current besties abbysaltommy text thread
abby texting, tommy texting, sal texting
so, how was the first date?
turns out evan is not out to anyone.
it was his first 'date with a dude', but he's an ally.
sounds like a train wreck. (sorry, abby)
that part was oddly okay? it was adorable.
his best friend showed up at the same restaurant on a date with his girlfriend. evan said that we were 'going to pick up hot chicks later'.
i ducked out of going to the movie and just went straight home after dinner.
sal, cue us up a grindr best of lineup.
wait, i want to know what tommy said about the hot chicks.
not proud of it but i made a closet joke. the friend's girlfriend is moving in so it wasn't out of nowhere. i don't think any of them caught it, actually. but it made me feel a little better.
that's my boy!
you're a menace, sal. at least it was on the first date, tommy? it could have been worse.
mm. this feels like a sign that i should take a break from dating.
as opposed to the absolute bevy of dates you've been on recently?
sal, don't be mean. when was the last time you went on a date?
all right you two, no infighting. as fun as it is to watch you argue, i'm here for some moral support.
we can do that. hey, at least you can use the helicopter rescue to land dudes.
helicopter rescue? what helicopter rescue?
it's not a big deal.
tommy flew into a fucking hurricane and found a capsized cruise ship.
oh my god. days like this i miss la. nothing like this ever happens in phoenix.
i'm lucky i didn't get fired, okay? and we are not doing a grindr lineup. one bad date is not going to get me back on the apps.
you get one week to mope and then we're going for drinks and you're flirting with someone at the bar.
that's not a bad plan, sal. i approve.
at what point do i get a say in this?
you don't.
you don't.
their text thread sits quiet for a few days and abby debates asking tommy for more details. between jordan and marcus he hasn't had much to smile about, and even though he'd only met evan two weeks ago, the way that he'd talked about him… she'd really thought that tommy's luck was about to turn around.
they're driving tess to tucson for a college tour when she finally has enough time to text tommy separately.
it was one bad date abby, i'm fine.
yeah, but you liked him. like, really liked him.
i've really liked a few guys. and i've survived. we didn't even know each other for a full month. he'll just be a great kiss and a fun evening and that's the end of it.
a great kiss, huh?
i already told you that.
let's talk once we're back from the college tour? it's been a while.
sure, but you're signing up for a party viewing of love, actually.
double feature with die hard?
…evan just texted me.
what did he say?
do you want me to go fight him.
he wants to meet for coffee.
you should do it!
hm. at least you get a free cup of coffee. he is buying, right?
sal. yes, he's buying. i really liked him, you know? up until the hot chicks it was the best date i'd been on in… a while.
definitely go, tommy. you haven't said you had the best anything in a long time. abby thinks the last time she heard tommy say something was the best he'd ever had it was when she still lived in la (but after they broke up). if it's not great, it's just coffee. it's only going to be an hour or so.
i feel like someone should play devil's advocate but abby's got a point.
sal, how about i text you if i need you to fake an emergency and leave?
no, don't approach this like it's going to go badly!
works for me. i've always got you on speed dial, buddy.
you can hide any pitchforks the two of you might have found.
so it went well?
the question is how well it went.
sal.
sal.
what? just because he's not out doesn't mean they couldn't have some fun.
he actually did come out? to his best friend and his sister. we're going to try again and go on another date.
where's he taking you?
better be somewhere fancy.
i am not telling either one of you where it is. one of the delucas would try and pop up to spy on us.
i'm in pheonix, you can tell me separately.
it would be gina. definitely. she's small and sneaky.
they're not even denying it. you can find out where we're going after he's actually out to everyone.
sal, don't ruin this for us.
what? i'm being supportive.
so where's the date?
i'm not telling you.
why not?
because you'll tell gina and gina will tell sal and someone's going to pop up like a demented jack in the box.
i resent that implication.
because it's true?
see if i watch another romcom with you, tommy kinard.
that's a dirty lie, abby clark. listen, if we survive the second date then maybe i'll tell you two snoops more about him.
i'll let gina know ;)
i always regret introducing you two.
me and gina or me and sal?
all three of you.
here's hoping date number two is better than date one.
your lips, god's ears, etc etc.
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softshuji · 2 days ago
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"Are you trying to get me drunk ran Haitani?" You say, vaguely eyeing the champagne flute he's holding out to you by the stem. The faint bubbles are still popping as they curl to the surface and you sense the sharpness of crisp apples on the air.
He snorts, open and carefree and warm. "Wow seen right through me haven't you? But no, I'm not."
You eye him shrewdly, and suppress a shiver when a particular cold kiss of wind blows in through the window left ajar and he turns to close it with his elbow before delicately placing the flute between your fingers and lounging beside you on the L shaped sofa that curls around the fire in his office.
"That sounds like something that someone who's trying to get me drunk would say." And despite your resistance, you take the glass happily, and kick off your heels under the coffee table, your neck leaning on the end of the sofa, a small sign sneaking past your lips that you hope he misses.
He's quick to laugh, quick to smile, a grin that's all teeth and warmth, the ends of his canines sharp and dazzling even now that it's dark and only the faint orange glow of the burning embers lights up the otherwise shadowy office. "True," he says. "But maybe I'm just enjoying your company. Can't I do that?"
You give him another look, one that's knowing, one that he reads easily. "You can but I know it's always something with you."
A hand flies to his chest in mock indignation. "I'm rather offended by that. You should learn how to take some things at face value you know. Sometimes people do like to just hang out with you."
You take a sip of the champagne and it's chilled, as sharp as you expected, a slight fizzle on your tongue that washes refreshingly down. "I take nothing at face value, especially when it has a face like yours."
And it's a little clipped, laced with a bite and a venomous coating and he doesn't take the bait, just let's the warm boyish smile tighten around the edges, the faint smile lines twitching. "They weren't lying when they said you were mean huh?"
And this time you're indignant, the champagne suddenly sour on your tongue as you sit up in defense of yourself. "Who said I'm mean?"
He raises a hand in surrender, the other placing the flute on the coffee table. "not mean as such, just cold, a bit distant."
"Who said that exactly?"
And he returns the shrewd look, a fox toying with prey, like he knows something you don't. "That's on a need to know basis. More importantly however, it's unfortunate that you think I'm just humouring you like this."
You huff, avoiding his eyes, avoiding the slice of moonlight that has the lilac shimmering almost translucent. "You are. You know you are."
He can't help it, the slight edge to his words then. "Don't tell me what I know and don't know." And then regrets it immediately when you seem to cower and shrink against the edge of the sofa, your champagne glass halted and suspended in the air.
Then, to soften the blow, to soften it all. "I like to be around you. Not for any particular purpose, but just because I do. I wish you'd let me without thinking there's some ulterior motive."
And it's warm, curling with love and your heart falls, drops off the edge of the cliff into your stomach. You don't respond, don't do anything but flick your eyes to his and take a sip from the flute and the silence is heavy, thick with anticipation, the firelight too close.
"You wouldn't do that, not with me. And you don't have to lie, it's okay. I know there's much better out there to spend time with," you say eventually , tongue thick, sticking to the roof of your mouth as you make the concerted effort to avoid the outline of him next to you.
He laughs, without Mirth, tight and withdrawn. "Whatever you say princess." He drains his flute and makes to stand, shrugging his jacket on as he does so, the entirety of him now wired and distant, a coldness seeping from his bones that you sense as he turns from you to the door.
"well, have a good night, I'll see you tomorrow," he says, the holster now back in his dress pants, car keys and wallet thrown haphazardly into his pockets and avoiding you and the thunderous boom of your heart you swear he can hear.
"You're going?" You say, a little needy despite yourself, leaning forward against your wishes to his back, your hand almost reaching for him against your volition. "already?"
"Hm, yeah, busy. Got a job to do before I go back. Lock the door on the way out." Then, as an afterthought, voice hushed, and worried, slight undertone of upset laced in his words. "Think about what I said. Goodnight princess."
And the door opens and closes as he slips out, the firelight dancing on the walls as his steps get further and further away, and you, staring at the door, as if your want could make him come back, could make it any better.
Or make you any less you.
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itty-bitty-sunshine · 3 days ago
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THAT'S SO COOL I LOVE THAT YOU COLOR CODED IT
And i think you were spot on with the characters too!!
Guys whats one song you associate my au
I'm bored, lets make a playlist
#i love you fish im baking a whole cake and giving it to you as we speak#i need to make an animatic to this SO bad#HOW COME I NEVER HEARD THIS SONG ITS SO COOL#I LOVE the vocals are a little robot sounding#and i love that (personally for me cuz my hearing is crap) when it gets close to the chorus is gets even harder to make out what the voice-#-is saying#as if a voice box glitching if you will#tumblr why are you mean about colors#but yeah no the characters are very on point#though i think the “I know I'm struggling to fit the role/ Isn't there anything to make me whole?/ And I can stomach it or so I'm told/#-But promise me you'll hold me so I'll live through the night“ can be applied to sun as well as moon#he feels alone and like a piece of him is missing as he has been disconnected to moon for safety reasons he can't understand#the anxiety and tension eating away at him makes him slip more on his ideal persona causing the “struggle to fit the role”#can also be interpreted as his struggle to fit in the role of a reliable friend he wants to be in#hes so sure he can stomach whatever the truth is. that he can deal with it. that he can help.#but every night is uncertain to him. hold him so he will get through this night where he has no control and no knowledge whatsoever of whats#- going on. every night something happens and everyday he wakes up to it with the unshakable feeling that something is so inherently wrong#but he just can't tell what it is#but it also fits moon. he knows theres something wrong with him but he doesn't know what or the extent of it. he can't talk to sun.#kids have been more careful than normal around him as if he's sick and they are responsible for taking care of him and being mindful of his-#-condition. his other half is missing. theres a whole in his chest and a buzzing on his head.#memories are missing and he can't put the pieces together. asking about it gets him nowhere. his friend flinches at the mere sight of him-#-and he doesn't know why. something at the back of his minds says that maybe it's better this way.#maybe he gets told that hes just more prone to lashing out and the fuzzy memories are from those moments. the truth diluted for him-#-to stomach while not being enough to shake his whole being. also while not exposing a truth about his friend#hold me so we can get through this night. me and you both. no matter what happens. so we will be together. so we can live. so this can work#sorry i got carried away KHSHJSJW#loved that song thank you fish
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stripedtabbycat · 6 days ago
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i am also aware that my standards for "bad movies" are perhaps exceedingly generous, such that i could never declare any of the films i have seen as "the worst", and for this reason i can never look at the notes or comments of any "what's the worst movie you've ever seen" post because i know it'll be full of people who do not have my standards and have also not seen very many movies
#movies#like i don't really like most marvel or star wars films#but i could never list any of them as “worst movie i've ever seen”. they're FINE. they're Competent.#that's more than you could say about many films.#for the record: i enjoyed the star wars original trilogy when i watched it around 2015-2016 when the new movies were coming out#not really my thing but i was glad to have that pop cultural knowledge gap filled and i think they're well-made movies#sequel trilogy didn't make that much of an impression on me although i did appreciate some cool visuals and concepts#and i very much empathize with everyone who saw the excellent potential for so many of these characters and plot threads#and were forced to watch the films just do...nothing with them#i did actually think rise of skywalker was quite bad when i saw it in the theater. that's the only one where i walked out thinking#“yeah that was Bad. no one is going to be happy with this”#and was proven mostly right.#my favorite is still rogue one. i did enjoy that as a mostly standalone story with a good contained arc#i have since realized that i don't care enough about star wars to seek out any more content for it though and that's fine#and as for the mcu i have enjoyed the few films i've seen from it but by the time the big infinity war and endgame event movies happened#i had also realized i don't care enough about those either#and it doesn't sound like i'm missing out on anything.#also that was around the time when i was no longer just going to see whatever movies my brothers were in the theaters.#i was in college i had WAY more movies to watch on my own time and i was beginning to develop a superiority complex about not watching#the populist disney-owned slop of the day#(and also like. my own tastes)
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was watching my mum responding to text after text getting frustrated because she wanted to make lunch but people wouldn't stop texting her
and i was like just. ignore them? just ignore the texts? i will ignore texts for hours until i feel like responding sometimes it's fine?
anyway my dad called me shallow for that one lmaoooo
#bruh#just because i'm TECHNICALLY available 24/7 doesn't mean i have to act like it#sometimes i will put my phone on charge for a day and forget about it#and then come back to several messages#normally there is none but sometimes i'm like oh i missed something huh#using this example because idk when i put my phone on charge today but i only just remembered it existed#i'll grab it tomorrow or something it's fine#sometimes i will see a message preview from someone and go oh. not urgent. i'll respond once i finish what i'm doing#or god forbid i'll respond when i feel like being available again#IF someone says ANYTHING implying they'll text me soon and want an answer then YES OBVIOUSLY I WILL RESPOND RIGHT AWAY#if i see a message preview that sounds time sensitive THEN YES I WILL RESPOND RIGHT AWAY#NORMALLY I DO RESPOND AS SOON AS I HAVE A MOMENT IN FACT#BUT HAVING A MOMENT IS NOT JUST WHEN I TECHNICALLY HAVE FREE HANDS#if i'm making lunch it can wait. if i'm hanging washing out it can wait. if i'm reading a book i can finish my page. etc etc etc#unless. i'm expecting. an urgent. text. it. can. wait. until. i finish. what. i'm. doing.#technically in any of those examples i can reply immediately my hands and brain can be free in 1 second#bUT I'LL DIE ON THE HILL THAT I CAN FINISH WHAT I'M DOING#admittedly. sometimes i forget by the time i'm done. that's on me. but still#9 times out of 10 i don't reply right away because i don't have my device on me/in front of me anyway#i don't plan on changing that one my bad
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t-lostinworlds · 5 months ago
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the cons, for me, as a picky reader as well as being a writer when it comes to reading fics as bedtime (i.e. 1am) stories is: a. the fic is so good I can't stop thinking about it which will then inspire me to continue a WIP or create a new idea entirely OR b. the fic isn't written well or is just not the best (again: for me, miss picky reader) which would then inspire me to continue a WIP or create a new idea entirely. Either way, I'm not getting any sleep so the term "bedtime story" is lost on me bc I'm more wired than ever before
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sudokuplayer · 9 months ago
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i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#maybe it is a bit of pms#📓
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leftoversludge · 2 months ago
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DEVASTATING: teen discovers their problems are shared by millions, yet the horrors persist
#it's me#i'm the teen#i have to stop mentally diagnosing myself and everyone around me with ocd i wish i never even heard of it dude it's bad#but yk it's cool 🤪 it's whatever 😜 it's groovy 😋#but like do you ever have that moment where you're like everything sucks and it's all my fault and i've made everything so much worse throug#h my inaction?? bc apparently fixating on the death of myself and others isn't just a me thingggg and everybody worries the world is going#collapse in on itself at any moment#i recognize my issues are all mental and i know they're silly and stupid so like why is it still there??? why can't i stop dwelling????#i also feel like i'm making bigger issues for myself by faking thoughts and idk how to explain this bc i know it's sounds crazy but i keep#forcing thoughts and making myself think about it for a solid moment before letting myself replace it with literally anything else or#disctracting myself with television and writing and social media#and i keep over analyzing every thought i have and everything other people say to me and dissect through the lense of what ive read about#ocd on official looking cites and i feel rude and wrong and disrespectful because of it and i just want to be present but the whole time im#having to think about how i am being present#and i think this problem could be solved if i just made friends and hung out with them or whatever but i feel like ive either missed that#boat or that everybody's already busy and doesn't want to talk to me and all of my friends actually have other friends that they primarily#talk to like i'm on everyone's back burner which is fine they should worry about their own shit but it's like i want to be someone's primary#friend#and in actuality what i really need to do is to stop thinking and this can only be done if someone were to give me a horse tranquilizer but#everyone thinks i'm joking when i say i want to be sedated#they're just “haha yea anxiety sucks” and i'm quivering and shaking like a freshly born lamb bc i cannot stand the state of the kitchen#knock me over the head with a 2x4 please please omigod please#but it's fine it's actually so cool and as long as i keep saying it's groovy everything will keep turning up roses so it's fine#god i need to get over myself#someone please tell me exactly how like step by step and preferably a free option as having to spend my mothers money gives me a panic attac#k#thank you 😘
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moonlight-at-dawn · 4 months ago
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a strange thing to say as a 90s kid, but I miss when we could have fun without being assholes
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fragglerockopinions · 6 months ago
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#Someone help me I can't inject my T physically I cannot break the skin why help#I keep searching how to help but it just makes me more panicked bc#Lots of recommended searches are like 'i missed a day and a half of testosterone and im freaking out!!!' :( I've missed months help#I didn't know it was that dire everyone says when they miss a day they KNOW maybe no t is why I've been useless for months#Help I can't do it#I just randomly got my period last night and my voice is so miraculously girly and high today genuinely#I feel like I'm turning into a werefemale I feel like I deserve this and it's meant to happen because it's happening#Because my parents every day keep telling me to stop taking hrt and also all medicines.#My sibling bragging about their fucking happy trail as if they haven't been illegally using my testosterone gel for more than three weeks#I am choking so so bad trying not to cry because it's going to sound so feminine and I can't do it anymore#I sat there from 2am to 7am just trying to inject myself. what is wrong with me.#I am so. fucking stupid. Why#I'm literally not scared of the pain I'm pressing so hard but it's like my needles are too dull no matter what#I even tried a tiny tiny insulin needle and it got in but breaking through to I think just the skin layer under the epidermis#Was incredibly painful like not supposed to be that painful#I'm just going to let this happen it's been a long since I've had a good panic attack sincerely#What is wrong with me. Genuinely how am i this stupid#I can never do anything on time I always finally get my ass in gear right when it's too late and I never get that opportunity again#I'm going to finally be able to stick the needle in by the time i turn into a girl again and my dick shrinks and my hair falls off#And then my parents will say they told me. and that will be my worthless fucking transition journey in a dumbfuck useless circle#My hair is so too long and it feels like spiders are in my ears every ten seconds and I have a spider visual hallucination also#which doesn't help#I am so genuinely fucking scared and angry at myself
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anaalnathrakhs · 10 months ago
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hjgjhggjgjgh forgot i can't even go to the psych ward if there was magically room for my non urgent case. my mom's birthday is this weekend, and my aunt and grandma stay at our house for the following week. i need to be there for the birthday, and then i have to seem normal and present at normal hours. AND THEN IT'S THE HOLIDAYS.
#i don't want to be alive holy shit#i wanna say they're probs not gonna hospitalize me no matter how much i'd need it#so i can call and ask for an appointment or smth anything#but what if they actually CAN hospitalize me#i can't say no. but i can't say yes.#i guess i'll try something during the holidays#but in the meantime i'm missing everything im missing classes im missing homework im missing my exams#im supposed to be preparing my graduation exam and instead i rot at home because ''we're not a healthcare facility''#i don't think i'm ever gonna change lmao once this phase is gone i fucking hope it'll go away it's just gonna turn into another problem#and i'll cycle through unlivable shit forever#like i've always done#i don't even know what to do. drop out maybe but i don't have the balls to. wait until they kick me out for good i think.#and then. idk. am i really cut out for the workforce lmao. school is safe and cozy and there's reasons im still there#bc everything else is scary and unpredictable and you have to earn your place there#i know im the problem. i know anything i do always leads to more problems.#yadda yadda yadda everybody deserves a place. but when i get kicked out of somewhere because i'm unbearable to deal with#i don't think im supposed to force my way in again#i don't know what to do. i know the way to get out of there is to force myself to do things.#but what does ''out of there'' even looks like?#no really. i don't think i've ever experienced an ''out of there''#unless i try to go back to being a toddler which doesn't sound like the play here#everything i do always lead to more pain and that's fully because im a killjoy who can't handle two weeks of normal human life#what's the point#broadcasting my misery#vent
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nightingale-prompts · 5 months ago
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Danny lives in a horror movie-DC x DP prompt
Based on my favorite book series "tales from the gas station"
It's not every day that a mission requires the league to travel to middle America in a bid to obtain a highly cursed artifact but it certainly is today.
Locating the Seal of Silent Ashes was a task usually given to Justice League Dark but Constantine was currently busy. So that meant it was left to the poster boys to get this done. They dressed in civilian attire to investigate the last location of the seal starting with the first building on the edge of town. A small dusty gas station near the woods.
The inside had an awful smell, like death and cleaning fluid. The lights gave off a greenish-blue tint. Rats could be seen out of the corner of your eyes. Most of the chips were offbrand and crappy.
Behind the counter was the teenage boy chewing gum. He looked up at the group before going back to reading his book. He had clearly seen better days but didn't show signs of caring about the state of his hair or bags under his eyes. He drank his coffee.
The air felt off.
"Hey kiddo, do you mind giving us directions?" Clark started.
The kid narrowed his eyes as he popped his gum.
"You're not from here. That or you're from that cult in the woods. Listen I'm not joining. Seriously, cosmic nihilism and fatalism sounds doomed. Hey wait-" the teen checked his notes " No, the cult killed themselves in that mass suicide 2 weeks ago. I forgot, sorry."
The teen didn't say anything else as he went back to his book.
The horrified look of the adults shared was almost hilarious. At least to the teen if he looked up.
"Oh, and stay out of the woods. I don't want the police to come back and ask about who saw you last. Seriously if whatever is in there tears you apart I won't feel bad. I put those signs out forever ago and if I get one more girl covered in blood running in here screaming about her dead friends I'll get a headache." The teen shrugged turning the page.
"What do you mean?! Why would-?! Who's killing people?!" Barry asked frantically as Bruce serched for more reports of missing people in the area.
"I don't know. Why would I know? If you want to go in the cursed forest go ahead. I mean that's how they all die. It isn't my job to stop you. My job is to sit here and watch this store." The teen huffed in annoyance.
Before anymore questions were asked the signal of the radio was disrupted and a demonic howl screeched through the radio.
"God damnit. That cunt is back. Stay here." The teen growled as he grabbed his bat from under the counter and walked out the back door. "String bean! Get off the fucking roof you bastard! You know that radio is all I have here!"
A chattering laugh like a death rattle was heard and the sound of 2 sets of feet was heard on the roof then they lept down.
"Come here so I can beat you to death!" The teen ran around the building towards the front of the gas station chasing-what the fuck is that!
It was like a human that was twisted to crabwalk on all fours backwards. Its face was contorted into a black stretched-out smile with no teeth. It had no eyes just black sockets. All its limbs were stretched out to an extra meter in length. It was a skinwalker of some kind with chalk-white skin. It was skittering away from the teen who was swinging his bat at its head.
"Stop running! I told you before what would happen if I found you fucking with me again!" The boy meant it as he finally landed a hit and began wacking it over and over it.
The skin walker screeched and tried to run for its life but couldn't.
After reducing the monster into a black puddle the black-stained teen came back inside to sit back down not paying anymore to the monster blood he was covered in.
"Sorry about that. Most of the freaks around here have learned to stay away from this place. That one is new and he doesn't listen. You'd think they'd learn but Sting Bean thinks he can torment me. Petty bastard." The teen sighed "anyways are going to buy anything or are you going to waste what oxygen we get in here with this shitty ventilation.
Diana couldn't help but admire the boldness of the boy. He had no hesitation or fear against the beasts of this area even if was crude.
"Does Constantine have a cousin or something? Just a more angry one" Barry whispered to Hal.
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buckyalpine · 6 months ago
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18+ Minors dni. I'm currently obsessed with the thought of Bucky making his pretty girl take it. I'm talking him keeping you caged under him with your legs wrapped around his waist while his arm are wrapped tightly around your body. This type of energy comes out when he's pissed. Stressed. Jealous. He's going to remind you exactly who you belong to and my favourite thing about this is imagine you didn't even know what happened. Maybe he overheard some agents talking about how irresistible you are. So cute and pretty and they'd give anything to-
Nope. The thought alone of anytone touching what's his has him storming off, hauling you over to mark you in the most primal way possible. Remind everyone who you belong to. He plucks you up from whatever you're doing and carries you over his shoulder like a beast; you're naked on his bed seconds later. He plows into you, hips slamming his cock into your very soaked cunt, unapologetically fucking you with the deepest moans. He sounds so feral. He is feral.
"Feels-so-good, such a good girl, letting me put my big dick in you"
Those grunts and groans he lets out show just how selfish he's being because he's focused on how fucking good you're making his dick feel. You're so soft but you make his cock so hard. You're such an angel for him, spreading your legs for him the second he set you down. He'd been torn between wanting to ravish you immediately or taking a second to throw his clothes off. He decides he needs you to fucking smell like him when this is all over, have every bit of his scent covering your skin. He wants to feel every bit of you all over him.
No one else would ever get to have you like this. Feel your naked breasts on their chest. Feel your soft tummy press against theirs. Feel the plushness of your thighs squeezing their waist. Feel your silky walls squeeze and milk their cocks till they're all soft and sensitive.
They'd hear you though.
They'd hear every moan and Bucky would make sure of that.
"Whose cock is making you scream baby, tell me" He growls, your combined arousal making a mess on the bed.
"Y-OURS-" You hiccup, choking back a sob as he snakes his had to wrap around your throat. Damn right. His fucking cock. His dick in your pussy. Not the stupid little boys who think they have a chance to even breathe the same air. His pretty, pink, fat fucking cock destroying you to his heart's content, stretching you open as much as he wants. "J-JAMES"
"That's right, say my name baby, say the name of your man who fucks you this good, let everyone hear" He's already turned off all the sound proofing and maybe he left his door a crack open. Maybe.
"Jaamesss" You sound so gone, cockdrunk over the way the spongy head of his dick kisses that sensitive spot that makes you squirt cream with each of his thrusts. "Don't st-stop, please-fuck-me-Jamie" Your voices slurs and turns into a whine as your eyes roll back. For such a sweet princess, you sound like an absolute slut when he's inside you and he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Mhphhm, sound so pretty, gonna make me blow, let me empty my balls in you" He starts to fuck you faster causing the headboard to shake, the whole bed creaking with his movements. "M'gonna cum angel-oh shittt-"
He nearly whimpers when he feels your doe eyes looking up at him with your ankles locked around his waist; he knows exactly what that means.
"You want it inside you huh, want my cum in you baby, s'that it?"
"Want-it-please, can't hold it" you cling onto him tighter and Bucky can't last any longer.
"Cum with me, together, c'mon angel, cum with me, yes, fuck yes, can feel you-fuck-" He begs, needing those little boys who spoke about you to hear exactly what they're missing out on, "OH GOD, FUCKKK" He doesn't hold back as he gives into his orgasm, your name dripping of his lips while you sob and squeal.
I want him to give you the softest aftercare. Tell you what a good girl you were for him. How much he loves and adores you, how special you are to him.
I want him to have the most smug expression on his face when he goes back down. He's such a little shit. He passes by a cackling Tony and a wheezing Sam. Not one agent dares look him in the eye. Steve may be blushing but he'll give credit where credit is due. His best friend sent a very clear message. Bucky is a possessive, loving, horny little shit and I need it.
Need it now.
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fanged-fanfics · 2 months ago
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☆ "You Can Have My Last Name" — Zaunites x GN Reader ☆
Genre: Fluff || they/them pronouns for reader || No warnings needed
A/N: I'm pretty sure this idea is like. Everywhere by now. But people from Zaun/the Undercity don't really have surnames so plot is basically what if Reader offered up theirs. Simple and cute type stuff idk I wanted some fluff
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──────.𖥔 ݁ ˖˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ──────
Viktor
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 Mentioned the nature of his lack of a surname rather casually, while venting about how Piltover kept trying to say his paperwork was 'invalid' for lacking one. He explained to you that it was common for anyone in the Undercity, and that most from there didn't have one at all
ᯓᡣ𐭩 More confused than anything when you offer yours, or he at least pretends to be. The truth is the idea flustered him coming from you so casually, so to cope he acted like he didn't know what you were implying
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Thinks about it for several weeks afterwards, subconsciously mulls over how your name would sound paired with his in his mind. He writes it down a few times too, just to test it out. Finds out pretty quickly that he likes the sound of it
Vi
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 Doesn't miss the implications a bit, as a matter of fact she IMMEDIATELY flirts back by asking if you'd really give your precious name to any pretty face you come across
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Teases you about the idea relentlessly any time the subject of names is brought up, or in any way she can really. Often makes jokes that she's gonna make a fool out of the name
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Secretly actually very honored that you'd offer it up to her but she doesn't feel like admitting that yet, you're gonna have to deal with jokey teasing for a good while first
Jinx
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 Snarkily says she wouldn't be a good fit for your name to hide the fact that she really doesn't think she deserves to be considered a part of your life
ᯓᡣ𐭩 "Ohh, you might be crazy too if you're gonna give it to someone like me"
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Feels kinda bad that she wouldn't have anything like that to offer you in return. She loves the idea of having a family to belong to again, but her own self doubt gets in the way of admitting that to herself
Ekko
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 "Oh- uh- what??"
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Genuinely very caught off guard. Not at all in a bad way, he just doesn't know how to respond to such a sudden and blatant flirt. Quickly tries to think of something to say as you're chuckling and reassuring him it's okay
ᯓᡣ𐭩 He ends up telling you through his fluster that it's not really gonna bring you any good to proudly announce a Zaunite as part of your family name. But in the end, he gives you a soft smile and says it's a nice thought he isn't against
Sevika
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 "Is that so?"
ᯓᡣ𐭩 More keen on the idea than you'd might think- tells you it wouldn't be such a bad idea, but you'd have to prove it's a name worth adopting first, teasingly daring you to make it a name you'd both be proud to wear
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Tells you to reconsider once or twice, but mostly because she loves seeing how determined you get when defending her right to bear your name
Silco
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 Doesn't pick up on what you're implying at first at all, simply tells you that isn't how that works and you're talking nonsense
ᯓᡣ𐭩 You have to prod into the implications a little more to get him to finally register what you're actually trying to say. It takes him a moment, but when he catches on he falls silent for a while
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Ends up mildly tripping over his words while telling you he's not really someone to give such an important thing to, and that you should get a better head on your shoulders and keep focused (largely to hide the fact that the offer genuinely caught him off guard. He's never gonna stop thinking about it)
Vander
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ᯓᡣ𐭩 Actually not against the idea. Seems to chuckle it off at first, but once he realizes you're being serious he fondly mulls over the idea with you while cleaning up for the night
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Recognizes the idea might not be very feasible, but hey, what's wrong with having hope? Everyone's allowed to have dreams to chase, right? No harm in chasing this one together, then
ᯓᡣ𐭩 Promises that once things are settled down enough that he'll try to make it happen with you. As long as the kids he takes in are all alright with you, of course
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writersdrug · 5 months ago
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Price getting reader a step stool cause she keeps asking Bartender!Ghost to reach stuff for her. Simon obviously brakes it when no ones looking. 👀🤭
LOL
"Is this your way of insulting me?" You ask, holding the colorful, children's stepstool in your hands. You're grimacing at it, a look that has Price chuckling as he folds up the bag from the store.
"I figured you could use it - now ya don't have to wait for Simon to grab anything for you." He says, patting you on the shoulder.
"I don't mind the wait..." You mumble under your breath. The stool feels as decorative as a clowns nose as you tuck it under your arm and head towards the stairs. "I'm keeping it upstairs, I don't need customers laughing at me when I pull this out. Might take it home and spray paint it."
"Suit yourself." Price calls as you bound up the stairs. He heads over to the bar, where Simon is currently polishing the glasses you convinced him to order for the Halloween drink.
"Got a problem with me helpin' 'er?" Simon says, thick fingers rubbing the glass with a rag. He doesn't mean to sound defensive... but he can't help the bite in his tone.
Price smirks, picking up on the jealousy laced into Simon's words. "Thought you might like it. Makes your life easier, and 'ers." He pops open the register and starts filtering through the bills, replacing the larger value ones with smaller ones.
"You don't think I'm capable of runnin' a bar and helping you waitress at the same time?"
"No, but I think you'd be better off if you didn't have to run so much. She's brought in so much business as it is, your workload's gotten heavier."
Simon huffs. "Ya just want to separate us, hm? Want 'er all to yourself." He jokes, grabbing another glass and buffing it.
Price shrugs. "And if I am?" He says, giving him a side glance.
Ghost slows his ministrations, turning his head to his captain. They both stare at each other for a moment, Simon with his slightly angry, slightly questioning glare, and Price with his unwavering eyes. Simon wants to tell him to back down, that you're his - but he can't say that, because you aren't his. He wants you to be. But he doesn't know how to make it happen without letting his walls down.
Price chuckles, turning back to the register to continue swapping bills. "Y'know, if you want to say somethin' you'd best say it." He comments, snapping the drawer shut. "Missed opportunities often come from miscommunication."
He leaves Simon at the bar, heading towards the stairs with his money folder. You jog down the steps and nearly crash into him - he quickly grabs your shoulders and spins you out of the way before you can collide with him. You throw a "sorry!" over your shoulder as you carry an armful of various fruits, leaving Price chuckling as he ascends the stairs to the office.
"The oranges up there aren't looking too great." You chirp, dumping the fruit onto his workspace. A few lemons and limes roll onto the floor, and you bend down to chase them. Simon watches you, a bit miffed at how unaware you were of the situation. What do you think of Price? Do you like him? Would you flirt with him as much as you do with Simon?
You return with the escaped fruit. "I can run to Sevvy's store and grab some for tonight, if you want? The ones upstairs are looking a bit pruney."
"Are you actually gonna use that thing?"
"Huh?" You look at him with confusion written on your face. "What thing?"
"The stool." He looks down at you, his expression unreadable. "'S a bit demeaning, don'tcha think?"
You paused, watching him move the fruit to the side and grab a plastic cutting board. "I mean... he bought it, and I wouldn't have to bug you so much. If I spray paint it black or something, it won't look that ridiculous."
He nods. "Hm."
"I used it to grab the fruit."
"That's interestin'." He mumbles, slicing through an orange. You were right, they have seen better days.
He turns to pop open the register and hands you some bills. "Go get a few oranges, no more than ten. Order should be comin' in tomorrow."
You smile and take the money, stuffing it in your back pocket. With a few hours remaining before the restaurant opens, you go through the kitchen, grab your jacket, and head out the back.
Simon's back to chopping fruit and dumping it into a small bin, bitterly thinking over what Price had said. It's a stool. Price got it to help you and himself. It was a thoughtful purchase. But it's not just that. However unserious this is to Price, he's trying to rile Simon up. He's treating you like the last slice of cake in the tin - Price would like to have it, but he knows Simon's groveling for it. He's forcing Simon to ask for what he wants, and the bartender doesn't like that one bit. Normally, it wouldn't be something that irks him so easily - but this is you we're talking about. Not just anything. You. He wants to grab Price by the collar and throw him into next week with how he's trying to wedge between you and Simon - but he doesn't like having a weakness. He'll keep his cool for now. He'll make a move... eventually.
For now, the only aggressive side he'll present is passive.
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Price leaves late that night, somewhere between two and three in the morning. He's beat, spending most of the night between helping you run food and drinks, and fifo-ing the pantry and overflow rooms. He's planning for a day off - of course, after he goes to the bank and comes back here to pay everyone. He's jealous of Simon, who's already upstairs for the night - he wishes he only had a short trip to the third floor before he could crash into his bed. Rather, he has to trek a hefty number of blocks home through the dark streets. He's more worried about going to bed at a decent hour than walking around at night with a bag full of money - people usually steer clear of him when they see his stature.
He locks the back door behind him, puffing out a foggy breath into the frigid air. It's only getting colder - he'll have to break out his gloves and scarf soon. The beanie won't be enough. He shoves one hand into his pocket, the other holding a small bag of trash from the office. He mentally ticks off what he needs to do this week as he grabs the garbage bins, dragging them behind him and towards the street for the trucks to empty in the morning. He pushes them against the store front, taking the lid off and dropping the light trash bag inside.
The loud thunk makes him do a double take. Did he throw away something important? He lifts the bag once again, and a disappointed expression falls upon his face. The colorful kiddie stool he bought for you is there, pieces snapped apart and shoved deep into the bin. Simon didn't even try to hide it underneath the other bags. It's almost like he left it there for Price to catch.
He sighs, dropping the bag and placing the lid back. He trudged down the sidewalk towards his home - he's not too upset by it. He had a feeling Ghost was sinking his teeth into you, and frankly, it's gotten to the point where Price is afraid of what the man might do if someone else tries to take you away. But damn, if his ex-lieutenant's going to make a move, he'd better make a fucking move. For your sake, if not his own.
He pulls his phone from his pocked and shoots Simon a quick, blunt message.
You're paying me back for that.
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