#and it does effect which ones i do end up choosing in game

[bunniesbearsandadventures]

Alright I've decided to make a Pokemon starter tier list.

THIS IS BASED ON DESIGN AND HOW MUCH I LIKE THERE LOOK ONLY

D does not mean I hate it is just have meh opinions on it

C means its okay

B is solid

A is good

And S is obviously my favorite

I just wanted to do this for fun! :3

Also none if them are in any particular order. There are all just lumped together.

(Also note i haven't played scarlet and violet yet but i still wanted to put them here because i really like fuecoco)

[inbarfink]

I think a lot about the Concept of ‘choices that matter’ in video games. Like, in terms of what it is that makes a choice ‘really matter’, what do we perceive as a choice that matters or has a consequence, how do different games with different amounts of branching or non-branching storylines play with those ideas…  Especially because Undertale is one of my favorite games of all time, and it has often been hyped as ‘a game where your choices REALLY matter’ and… honestly, I dunno if all of this hype was fully conducive to Undertale.  Because the way it handles the concept of Video Game Choices is actually a lot more interesting and complex than that simplistic descriptor makes it seem.

Because Undertale actually has a lot of choices that ‘don’t really matter’! Lots of dialogue choices and silly little decisions that on a first playthrough seem like they’re some sort of moral choice or a branching plotline but end up always leading to basically the same result regardless of what you do!

And the game doesn’t really try to hide the fact that these choices are kinda 'Fake'. I mean, on a first playthrough a player might assume there’s gonna be some Massive Consequences for picking the ‘wrong’ drink on Undyne’s date, but the game’s narrative expects for there to be multiple playthroughs and pretty much every Choice that Doesn’t Matter is peppered with that Undertale brand of wacky character-focused humor that inherently makes the moment memorable. Papyrus leading Undyne straight to you no matter what you do is basically a cross-timeline running gag.

On some level I see this as a sort of gag that serves as meta-commentary about the expectations around Choices That Matter in Video Games. As in, a lot of games have their Moral Choices happen in clearly easily marked ‘this is a Moral Choice!’ moments within the story, while the actual gameplay (and any violence the player might cause as part of said gameplay) is basically entirely divorced from any element of narrative-branching and doesn't effect the story at all. Undertale basically entirely inverts this dynamic; the most important factor for which Route you’re own is how you handle your FIGHTs, and what seems like clearly-marked and obvious Moral Choices are just goofy insubstantial minor changes in dialogue. 

But also… there is also a level where you must ask yourself ‘what does it mean when we say that these choices Don’t Matter’. I mean, it’s not like they didn't change anything about the game, the Player still made the character say that other thing, the choice probably led to an alternate piece of dialogue, probably a joke with a call-back at the end of the game… The line between a one-off joke and an actual story-changing moment can be a little blurry if you look at it too deeply.

For example, near the end of the Waterfall part of the game, the Player is given the choice to save Monster Kid even at the risk of having to face down Undyne.

Pretty much anyone who isn’t deliberately trying to be an asshole is going to rush to save them and obviously that includes the Pacifist Route Players. But you can actually leave Monster Kid to die without it 'mattering' in the sense that it wouldn't divert you from the Pacifist Route. Undyne saves them instead of you, and ends up with slightly less HP for her battle (which might Matter for Runs when you try and FIGHT her but obviously not in Pacifist Runs) and… by the end of the game, during the extremely happy True Pacifist Ending, they still clearly remember that you abandoned them and are upset by it.

So… does saving Monster Kid ‘matter’ or not? On one hand, choosing not to save them mostly just changes a few lines of dialogue but… these lines of dialogue kinda recontextualize this happy ending and the Player’s actions in general. Despite the True Pacifist Ending otherwise portraying the Player/Frisk as a kind-hearted and brave hero... they still did this undeniably cowardly (and perhaps even cruel) act to one of their friends .

Was running away and leaving Monster Kid to die a brief but significant moment of weakness that the Player regrets and has cost them what could’ve been the start of a lovely friendship? Or is that simply that being a True Pacifist was always more of a matter of pragmatism rather than ideals? Were they only acting as a Pacifist to get that promised 'Best Ending', and only Monster Kid has an inkling they are not as heroic or kind as everyone thinks they are?

And then there’s the Snowman ‘quest’.

A free healing item given early in the game, with your mission being to carry it along in your inventory for as long as you can without ever consuming it. The only reward you will ever see from it is a few lines of dialogue…

But for many, it is more than enough of an incentive to preserve the Snowman’s Piece. You can do whatever you want with the Snowman without it ‘mattering’ in terms of Ending or consequences. You could carry it through all of your adventures with care and kindness... or you could eat it while he can’t see you and then go back to him and tell him that you ‘lost’ it and then get another piece and eat that as well, you could eat it right in front of his face, horrifying him. 

And much like with Monster Kid, you can STILL get the True Pacifist Ending after doing that, all that would change is a few optional pieces of dialogue from the Snowman… 

And a total recontextualization of the Player’s behavior and the ending. The Snowman sees the Player as a cruel and heartless person who is just pretending to be good so they can be liked - the way they acted with this immobile, powerless Snowman who could do nothing for them and their reputation reveals their true self. And he says their friends will realize that too one day...

Doing a True Reset on the Pacifist Ending is, by definition, a (almost) consequence-free action and yet it changes future Pacifist Routes immeasurably. Turning the Player into a Hypocrite doing the exact same thing they were trying to stop Flowey/Asriel from doing - trapping all of their friends into a time-loop so they can play with them forever while never actually letting them to enjoy freedom on the surface, simply because they are not willing to move on or put their friends' wishes and agency above their own. Nothing in the game actually changes, not one character can even suspect that you did something like that, and yet for the Player - this choice makes the entire Meaning of the game flip on its head. 

Even the most famous and heavily-toted Big Consequence in the whole game - selling your soul to Chara after completing a Murder Route… mostly what it does is just… recontextualize the ending of the Game.

As a game, ‘Undertale’ is very much about the ways in which a Player engages with a game can radically recontextualize it. The huge chasm of difference between the Pacifist and Muder Routes is just the most literal example of it. But, in a way, even the tiny little Dialogue Options - where the lack of real choice and consequences is Obviously a Joke - matter. Because of the way they can recontextualize the Player Character’s behavior.

(Okay, maybe not this one, but hear me out…)

Do you trust Papyrus to not betray you, even after you spied on him with Undyne?

Do you have the integrity to admit you forgot something or got it wrong even when there’s no consequences for just lying about it?

Are you a hypocrite for trying to get Alphys to be truthful with Undyne only to then immediately turn around and lie to Undyne yourself?  

None of these choices matter for the ending, some of them don’t even get, like, a call-back joke or anything, but… if you are engaged in this story as a narrative, if you are invested in these characters as if they were people, if you are honestly trying to be the best person you can be, if you are trying to self-reflect at the way you approach this game… even the silliest little dialogue option can suddenly be imbued with deep implications and you can make them matter. 

Undertale is one of the best demonstrations of this concept, but this is absolutely not exclusive to it. For example….

‘Ace Attorney’ is pretty much as far away as you can get from a ‘branching narrative’ within the video game sphere. It is a heavily-linear Visual Novel where 70% of the time it won’t even let you talk to random characters at anything but the exact order it expects you to and any ‘Bad Endings’ are basically just glorified Game Over Screens. (... because this is the Internet and something something piss on the poor, I should probably specify that I am talking about ‘Ace Attorney’ because I love Ace Attorney and these are neutral descriptions of the game and not complaints. There’s nothing wrong with a game being linear.) 

If there’s any Dialogue Choice in AA, it’s generally a very basic ‘right answer-wrong answer’ choice between Progress and a Penalty, or a total non-choice that just gets you to the same final result regardless. Except… Well… as we just talked about, getting to the same final result doesn’t necessarily mean a choice is ‘meaningless’, does it?

There’s actually a lot of great storytelling moments where Ace Attorney, despite its otherwise strict linearity, uses this exact sort of recontextualizing mindset I’ve talked about with Undertale to make choices with some really powerful emotional impact…. Even if technically, the ending is the same ending. It can be something as basic as ‘even if picking this Wrong Answer doesn’t get me a penalty, it still embarrassed my character and disappointed my friends/rivals and thus I feel bad for picking it’. Consequences as recontextualizing your character as more incompetent than they should’ve come across at that moment.

And then there’s moments like the iconic ending of ‘Justice for All’. That moment before Franziska bursts into the Courtroom with the case-making evidence and saves the day. The moment where it seems like Phoenix really is gonna have to pick between protecting his best friend and carrying out a rightful sentence.

The player gets to pick between the two options, but Phoenix never gets to say his choice out loud before Franziska comes running in... and yet… he, and the player, still made that choice. Even if no one ever has to experience the consequences of your choice, even if the rest of the world has no idea what Phoenix Wright would’ve chosen if the Miracle hadn’t happened, we know what we picked and that knowledge of the choice matters. Because of how we feel about this choice and what it says about our interpretation of Phoenix… and about us.

There’s also a bit of this ludonarrative device in ‘The Great Ace Attorney: Adventures’. During “The Adventures of the Runaway Room”, when you investigate the Omnibus for the second time and start finding things that… don’t quite fit together. When you’re finally starting to make progress with proving McGilded’s innocence, while also maybe starting to notice that something is… wrong with these pieces of evidence. 

The unchanging linear narrative of the game is that Ryunosuke does eventually realizes McGilded's trickery, puts truth ahead of victory in court and yet, despite his effort and good intentions - the case still ends with a false Not Guilty verdict. And yet, the Player has the choice to... tweak the details.

There are several points where Ryunosuke can object, where he can call out the inconsistencies even though they help his case, where he can support Van Zieks in his accusations of tempered evidence... or he can not. Not necessarily intentionally misleading the Court as much as subconsciously trying to ignore the inconsistencies in the name of trusting his client.

And yet… in the end it doesn’t matter. Maybe Susato calls out the inconsistency instead of him, maybe Van Zieks does, maybe it remains uncontested but... no matter what you do, the case will end with a Not Guilty verdict (I mean, I guess you can deliberately fail the game but that will not progress the plot), McGilded doesn’t seem like he held a grudge (in the few minutes he had left to live), and a few cases later - Ryunosuke would always be punished for his part at this false verdict.

So it doesn’t really matter what Ryunosuke did back then? Does it matter if he did his best and called out every single inconsistencies or if he kinda half-assed it until he (and the Player) had to? He’s still going to suffer the same consequences down the line. And yet….

And yet, I think there’s something so powerful about giving us that option. About knowing that Ryunosuke, and we, did try and do something about McGilded's dirty tricks- even if it didn’t work. Or alternative, knowing that there was more that Ryunosuke and us could’ve done even if it was not nearly enough. Even if in the eyes of the game and the British Justice system there is no difference, the fact that we know what did and what we could’ve done can radically change the way the player feels about all of the later scenes concerning the truth about McGilded’s trial. It can radically change the way the player interpret Ryunosuke’s feelings about it as well.

Because even though the game itself keeps playing along with the same script regardless, that trial had irrevocable consequences for the Player.

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

So like, it's okay to be good and nobody is born evil and anyone can change the path they're on, yadda yadda yadda, but I actually think one of the biggest lessons Megamind learns over the course of the film is the shocking revelation that actions have consequences.

I'm not even kidding. When you put aside the whole 'evil' thing, one of Megamind's biggest flaws is his entirely screwed up notion of cause and effect.

Like, the whole reason the plot happens is because it apparently never occurred to Megamind that 'carrying out elaborate plots to kill Metroman' could ever result in 'dead Metroman'. Nor that creating a new hero with the specific motivation of defeating him, Megamind, could lead to negative consequences for him, Megamind. Or that riling said hero up into a murderous rage could have the unforeseen consequence of that hero raging around murderously.

Dude spent at least a few years kidnapping Roxanne, threatening her with alligators and lasers and various other villainous knick-knacks, only to disguise himself as somebody else and lie to her until she fell in love with this fake identity he'd created and is genuinely shocked when she is upset upon finding this out.

Not just that she did find out, but that post-her finding out he is unable to talk her into continuing the relationship.

“We don't judge a book by its cover or a person by their appearance… we judge them based on their actions.”

“Seems kinda petty, don't you think?”

Megamind may be a genius when it comes to inventions and evil plans, but he's a fucking idiot when it comes to predicting and anticipating the obvious results of his actions.

And thing is, it makes total sense why he would be like that.

He spent his childhood being consistently punished by the adults in his life, often for no reason that he could understand or even for no reason at all. As a result, he stops viewing punishment as a consequence of his behaviour and starts seeing it as a consequence of him being 'evil', which of course leads to him leaning into his evil persona and eventually becoming a supervillain.

And, as a supervillain, ironically enough, he's completely sheltered from consequence by his greatest enemy, Metroman.

Megamind doesn't need to worry about his evil plans hurting any citizens, because Metroman will use his powers to save them. Megamind doesn't have to worry about the damage he does to the city, because Metroman can fix it.

Megamind does in theory have to worry about social consequences for his behaviour, but the social consequences are being locked in prison and having everybody hate him which is like, the default status quo of his existence since he was a baby.

He literally calls the prison as 'home', a word he does not use to refer to his Evil Lair or indeed anywhere else in the film barring his home planet. Going there is an inconvenience, maybe, but it's not really a punishment. It's where he lives.

Metroman's 'death' changes all that.

Not only does one of Megamind's evil plans finally destroy something that (seemingly) can't be fixed, but he's then turned loose on the city with no superhero to run around after him cleaning up his mess.

Now, if he steals all the artwork in the gallery, then Metro City will no longer have artwork in it's gallery, and people (Roxanne) will miss it and be upset. If he doesn't take care to clean the streets then the streets… will be dirty, and people (Roxanne) will be negatively affected.

If he gives a random, unstable, person superpowers and then goes out of his way to piss that person off, then that person can't be guaranteed upon to “play the game” just because that's what Metroman did, and people (Megamind… then everybody else) will be negatively affected.

And the flipside of this is that, by the end of the film, he wins the battle because he realises "hey, I can change this". If his negative actions have negative consequences then he can choose to do the positive thing instead and save the city.

[drakorn]

Rewriting Veilguard Part 3 - The Grey Wardens

Rewriting Veilguard Part 2 - The Shadow Dragons

Disclaimer: I don't hate the game, I actually think it's quite great given the development hell Bioware went through in those 10 years. This is more of a hypothetical universe where there was less of that behind the scenes drama. Just a fun writing exercise.

Writing an Origin Story Mission for the Grey Wardens

So before we start, I would like to notify you of three minor changes I made to my previous blog entry regarding the Shadow Dragons:

Varric no longer tells us about Solas straight away. I believe that’s a bomb that would be more effective when dropped later, otherwise poor Rook might just be a tad overwhelmed.

Neve stays in Minrathous rather than accompanying Rook and Varric. Yeah, as much as I like the idea of your chosen faction determining your first companion, I don’t think it’s really doable given the circumstances a few other companions find themselves in at the start of the game.

The Dreadwolf title card does not appear just yet. I found a better spot to use it later.

Now that we have dealt with the Shadow Dragon origin story, let us move on to the Grey Wardens. And here, we are going to have some fun because boy do I have ideas for this one.

The Grey Wardens were kinda the faction I wasn’t necessarily looking forward to playing at first and there’s a reason for that. You see, we already played a Grey Warden in DAO, and I actually like each game’s protagonist being someone very different. However, when I think about it now, there is some narrative logic to it. If DAV truly is the last Dragon Age game (which is very up in the air right now), it makes total sense to have this choice to bookend the story. You started as a Grey Warden, and now you’ll finish as one. Plus, with the Blight giving us its last hoorah in this one, it only makes sense to put the Wardens in a more prominent position once again.

So, without further ado, let us jump into the Grey Warden origin story!

Creating Rook

We start a new game, Varric gives his opening narration about the overall state of Northern Thedas, and this time, we click on the Grey Warden origin. The little blurb reads as follows:

“You are a Grey Warden. An ancient military order sworn to battle the ever-present threat of the Darkspawn, the Wardens undergo secret, unbreakable rites that grant them supernatural powers against the Taint. As the last surviving member of the Dornen outlaws, you joined the order after a passing Senior Warden invoked the Right of Conscription at your execution and gave you the chance to fight another day. But what you will do with it, that is up to you.”

Right there, we have a great canvas to paint with when it comes to sheer roleplay. We are a former criminal, the last survivor of a group known as the Dornen. Our group wasn’t, like, evil, but we were enough of a presence in the area in and around Hossberg to cause some proper trouble. The Anderfels is a dangerous land, the most dangerous one in Thedas. People don’t live, they survive. This means that many turn to unlawful ways to make ends meet. But being a former outlaw beautifully lines up with the theme of second chances the Order gives to so many people.

In DAV, our Warden’s name is Thorne. “Dornen” is the German words for “Thorns”. The Anderfels’ linguistic and etymological side is mostly based on German (“Anderfels” meaning “Other Rock” or “Weisshaupt” meaning “White Head”). So wouldn’t it be a fun idea if “Thorne” isn’t really the Warden’s last name but just the name they ended up going with? They arguably never knew their family name and the Dornen were as close to one as they could have gotten.

Unlike Mercar, your racial choice won’t really have that much of an impact here as the Wardens accept everyone into their ranks, as long as they can fight. However, if you choose to be a Qunari, it will add a few unique dialogue lines about how few Qunari there are in the order. You are probably one of the only ones.

For this hypothetical playthrough, we shall pick a dwarf warrior, and I’m giving him a big ginger beard. Just going full Lord of the Rings here.

Alright, so we just generated our Thorne, and now we get to hear Varric’s continued narration. We get a series of those beautiful tarot-styled illustrations with Varric’s voice telling us what’s been happening with the Wardens for the last decade. The Wardens in the North specifically have been all gradually returning to Weisshaupt Fortress, by order of the First Warden. They have become much more reclusive and secretive than they already were and are sharing practically nothing with the outside world. Something’s definitely going on. And Varric thinks it might be part of something larger.

Weisshaupt Fortress

And now, for the first time ever, we get to see Weisshaupt Fortress in all its glory, a gigantic fortress carved into the very mountains, the great headquarters of the Grey Wardens that withstood for over a thousand years.

I really like the way Weisshaupt is portrayed in DAV, my only gripe is that we never get to actually properly explore it. I was…surprised by that, actually. So what better way to explore Weisshaupt than have it be part of the Grey Warden origin?

This is place filled with such incredibly rich history. Just imagine, this place has existed since the First Blight, an event older than Andraste. This is an absolute field day for lore enthusiasts such as myself.

As soon as Weisshaupt appears, we get a grand reprise of Inon Zur’s DAO main theme, establishing it as the Warden leitmotif. Now that we are able to properly play as a Grey Warden again, we are just eased back into that feeling. We might not be playing the Hero of Ferelden anymore, but we can definitely bring back the nostalgia. Music is such an important part of storytelling, it’s insane how much a well-chosen theme can do.

Meeting High Constable Janos

Thorne arrives at Weisshaupt after a recent patrol through the mountains and we are greeted by High Constable Janos, the second-in-command to the First Warden. For some reason that rank never comes up in DAV, so we’re just going to include that here.

Here we’re going to establish that Janos was the Warden-Commander who invoked the Right of Conscription during our execution all the way back in Hossberg a few years ago. But why would the Right of Conscription even work in a time without the Blight? Well, this is a fair question for any other nation than the Anderfels. But the Anderfels is constantly threatened by darkspawn incursions, making it the only nation where the Right of Conscription still holds weight without a Blight. Given how the First Warden is often seen as an advisor to the King/Queen, one can also say that the Wardens’ whole “no politics” spiel doesn’t really apply in the Anderfels, either.

Janos informs us of an upcoming mission, assigned by the First Warden himself. Thorne is to meet him, Janos, and a few others in the war room later that day. It is something quite urgent.

NOTE: Throughout the prologue, Rook is still referred to as Thorne, given that “Rook” as a nickname does not exist yet.

Exploring Weisshaupt

Before we head off to the war room, we get a chance to properly explore Weisshaupt for the first time. And there are some interesting things to be done here:

Thorne can walk in on a recruit training session hosted by Davrin. Yep, if we’re a Grey Warden, we get to meet Davrin a little earlier than every other origin. We won’t know anything about his secret griffon mission yet, so for now we just meet him as a trainer. We learn that Davrin and Thorne joined the Wardens at roughly the same time and initially disliked each other due to their different pasts. But over the years, they grew to a mutual understanding since that’s just what being part of the order does to you. In this encounter, we get to train the recruits with Davrin for a short while, even do a sparring session between the two of us.

We come across a few recruits who are yet to undergo the Joining. From here, we learn that there hasn’t really been a great influx of Wardens recently as people just don’t see the necessity. And while the Right of Conscription applies in the Anderfels outside a Blight, it does so only when the alternative is a crime verdict. The recruits know about the Joining already, so we can either reassure or prepare them for the possibility of dying.

We learn from the general chatter as we traverse Weisshaupt that many of the older Wardens are getting ready for their Calling. Since there’s such an unusually high number this time, they are organising something akin to a massive group exodus into the Deep Roads. From the same chatter, we also learn that there has been a staggeringly smaller amount of recruits every year. Some of the older Wardens are worried.

We can enter the library and meet Valya from the Last Flight novel. Instead of just leaving the Wardens for an unspecified reason like in DAV, here she stayed, survived her Joining, and has since been promoted to Chamberlain of the Grey, the order’s chief archivist after her predecessor embarked on his Calling. Her role in rediscovering the griffons had a huge part to play here, but we don’t know that yet. She has also entered a relationship with Caronel who has been promoted to Warden-Commander of the Anderfels. From Valya, who is also in charge with gathering reports from Wardens all around the world, we learn how the Wardens in the South are doing, and it’s quite something. Nathaniel Howe is now the Warden-Commander of Ferelden and operates from Vigil’s Keep. Yes, all Wardens have been ordered to return to Weisshaupt, but Ferelden is an exception to this summon as the First Warden deems Amaranthine  being an actual Arling and two Grey Wardens ruling the country as too valuable of an asset to just drop. The same can’t be said for Orlais, though, as we learn that the Orlesian Wardens, currently led by Stroud and Thom Rainier, have fortified the Warden stronghold outside Montsimmard and are currently acting as peacekeepers. In addition, Bethany is currently overseeing the still-standing Griffon Wing Keep. The First Warden looks at them with disdain for refusing to obey his orders, but he also can’t, in good conscience, declare war upon them as every Warden is valuable.

NOTE: Here we see some of our World State shine through. In this playthrough, Hawke was left behind in the Fade, allowing Stroud to be a force for good among the Wardens. Blackwall took back his original name of Thom Rainier and became a proper Grey Warden. Since Hawke took Bethany and Anders to the Deep Roads in DA2, Bethany was made a Grey Warden. Nathaniel Howe was recruited and both Vigil’s Keep and Amaranthine were defended properly, allowing the Wardens to once again maintain a strong presence in Ferelden. As mentioned in the previous post, Alistair and Cousland currently rule Ferelden. And, as we're about to see, Avernus has been left alive and allowed to ethically continue his research.

While still in the library, we get to read a few letters sent to Valya. One of them is from Cousland, dating back a few years now, stating that she is close to making progress on how to stop the Calling but that this is the last letter she’ll be able to send as she’s embarking to places where communication just isn’t possible. Another is from Stroud, stating his regret for how things turned out. Here we get some hints as to what happened when he came to Weisshaupt during DAI. Apparently him and the First Warden clashed on ideals, the First Warden insisting on staying distant and secretive and Stroud being in favour of change. The third letter is from Ramesh, the Warden from Tevinter Nights who discovered one of Ghilan’nains labs and is now searching for the other eleven. The fourth and final letter is a report from Avernus and concerns the progress of his superior Joining ritual. All of these are just codex entries as I doubt we'd get to see this publicly.

Meeting the First Warden

After exploring Weisshaupt, we enter the war room, where Jowin Glastrum, the First Warden himself, awaits us. Joining us in the meeting are High Constable Janos and Warden-Commander Caronel.

Now, let me make something very clear about the First Warden. I like that he’s old-fashioned and traditionalist in DAV, I think it was very in-character of him to act distant and dismissive towards people outside the order. However, he is also a Grey Warden first and foremost at heart, he has Thedas’ best interest in mind. He isn’t here just because of status and standing, no, he clawed his way up the ranks through valiant deeds. We know that many Wardens in the Anderfels come from noble lines and still have ties to those. While the First Warden is of a noble house, he doesn’t use that as something to flaunt over the Wardens. His idea of having ties to noble families is a strictly pragmatic one: the more ties, the more aid, the more recruits. While he might not get along with outsiders, he absolutely respects the Wardens under his command and, while not always agreeable, would never meaninglessly sacrifice them. He’s harsh, strict, often an asshole, but still a Warden at heart.

The First Warden briefs us on a mission: A strange crack into the Deep Roads has opened near the village of Lavendel and a darkspawn horde is gathering for a full assault. Wardens Evka and Antoine are already on-site, preparing the defences.

The First Warden orders us to take charge of the village’s defences alongside Caronel. Under no circumstances are we to abandon post. High Constable Janos will arrive with reinforcements to secure our victory. The idea is to lure the bulk of the horde out of the Deep Roads so that we can slay most of them.

We can inquire why Thorne was chosen for this, since our presence alongside the First Warden, the High Constable, and the Warden-Commander is pretty insignificant, to which the First Warden answers that we are very much due to becoming Senior Wardens ourselves, it’s just this one last assignment left until our promotion.

After the briefing, we leave the war room and encounter Davrin again, with whom you can share in your either excitement or humbleness. In any case, Davrin congratulates us on the soon-to-be promotion, claiming how deserving of it we are and how he would have never thought so upon our first meeting all those years ago.

If we wonder why Davrin wasn’t chosen to head to Lavendel, he’ll tease that he has something else going on, equally important, but won’t tell us what it is just yet as it’s top secret (wink wink caw caw).

Reaching Lavendel

We depart Weisshaupt and leave for Lavendel, a small but significant village not far away from Hossberg. We take a few newly joined Wardens with us, a group consisting of the recruits we met earlier at Weisshaupt.

Upon entering Lavendel, we are approached by Evka and Antoine, who have been busy preparing the defences. From the ensuing conversation we gather that Thorne is very well-acquainted with them, similar to Davrin, having shared in many patrols across the Anderfels with them.

While Caronel takes charge of the mission, he trusts your judgment on matters as it is your time to prove yourself further in the eyes of Weisshaupt. High Constable Janos leaves you be now and heads off to prepare the reinforcements on the other side of the hills.

In the distance, a faint dark red cloud indicates the approaching darkspawn.

Preparing for Battle

Before the darkspawn assault begins, we have the chance to explore Lavendel a little and engage in its defences. During this short segment, we have a few encounters to experience:

Naturally, we can talk to Evka and Antoine and reflect on some of our past adventures together.

We can speak to the new Wardens we’re supposed to co-lead with Caronel, either inspiring them or telling them to be realistic and not too hasty. It’s obvious many of them joined because of the heroic notion surrounding being a member of the order.

We can encounter Mila and her father, Lavendel’s blacksmith. Yeah, I haven’t made them occupants of Weisshaupt just yet, you’ll see why in a bit.

We can inspect the defences, which boil down to barricades, a few ballistae, and, of course, the Warden stronghold just outside the village. If we explore enough, we see a very large and lose rock on a jagged edge right next to Lavendel. Maybe this will be useful later? Since we took the extra time to look around, we can now have that in the back of our head. We can also spot a crack in the stronghold’s basement and encourage quick repairments to be made.

We can speak to Caronel and share in thoughts about the coming fight. All of us Wardens can sense the approaching darkspawn. Caronel isn’t too worried as it’s just a minor skirmish, albeit with a larger-than-usual horde. And why worry? We’ve got Janos swooping in with reinforcements, anyway. We can talk about Caronel’s promotion to Warden-Commander, which was very recent. It is surprising how one so young climbed the ladder so fast, to which Caronel responds that it’s really not so uncommon anymore, given how Ferelden’s Warden-Commander got the title only a year after joining. Well, granted, she took down the Archdemon and somehow lived to tell the tale, but the point stands.

Before we commence the battle, there is one big choice to be made about our position and that of the villagers. While Evka and Antoine suggest to pull all Wardens and villagers into the stronghold and brave the storm there, Caronel would rather only keep the villagers in there while us Wardens head out into the open and prevent the darkspawn from getting to them in the first place. We don’t really have enough Wardens to divide, so we must make that choice now.

Send both the Wardens and the villagers into the stronghold and fight on close and narrow ground. The villagers are at risk from getting into the heat of battle, but the Wardens will be close by to defend them.

Send the villagers into the stronghold and let the Wardens fight in the village itself. While the villagers will be more vulnerable in terms of sheer distance away from the Wardens, the darkspawn is less likely to even get near them.

For the sake of this playthrough, we choose to evacuate the village, and ourselves, into the stronghold. We feel confident but would rather keep our charges close to us. Being a former outlaw in the Anderfels has taught us how one should never leave their goal out of sight. Our aim is to defend, not to gloriously destroy. This shows us that Thorne is willing to cast the pride of glory aside and choose an arguably safer path.

An Old Friend

Our decision made, we deliver a short speech to the villagers, instructing them to head into the Warden stronghold. We shall follow suite immediately and position ourselves on the walls and in the courtyard. Since we’re familiar with the darkspawn’s habit of digging tunnels, we’ll make sure the basement is accounted for as well.

Once the villagers and Wardens head to the keep, we are approached by a most familiar face: Varric Tethras. This is certainly a surprise. While we’ve never met him in person, we’ve certainly heard and read about him. Varric says he was passing through on an errand of his own and figured he might as well aid Lavendel’s defences with Bianca. While we can question the sincerity of this statement, we can use any help we get.

Varric comments how many Wardens would seek out the more daring and glorious path and is pleased to see that we’re not one of them.

The Battle of Lavendel

Right so we’re all hunched up in the fortress, and the atmosphere is intense. Now, all of us sense the evil just outside our doorstep. The dark red cloud is directly above us. Everyone looks to Thorne and Caronel for leadership while Evka and Antoine keep morale up. Varric, while being easy-going, is very much battle-ready now.

The darkspawn slowly creep through the village like a dark carpet of disease and corruption. We hear the deafening screeches of shrieks in the distance and see various hurlocks and genlocks make their way between the buildings. At this point, a thought comes to us, one we share with Caronel. Holy shit, that’s a lot of darkspawn. And no sign of Janos yet. Where is he? Where are the other Wardens? Surely this can’t be less than the bulk of the horde yet. This is almost like a new Blight.

A horrifying thought grips us and we quickly sense into the Taint for any signs of an Archdemon’s song. To our relief, we hear nothing. The relief is short-lived, however, as the darkspawn reach the stronghold and send in a wave of shrieks to scale the walls.

We engage in a properly gritty fight against the darkspawn and can make use of several ballistae on the battlements. But we quickly realise that this place is just not at all well-prepared. Evka and Antoine’s pre-defences, alongside our inspection, are all that’s keeping this place from being overrun. Why is this in such a shoddy condition?

We then hear fighting from the basement. Ah, so the darkspawn did attempt to dig through. Good that we halted their progress by mending that crack, giving us time to respond.

We head into the basement and confront some hurlocks and genlocks. After the skirmish, we sent several grenades into the tunnel below, causing it to collapse without damaging our infrastructure too much.

Returning to the courtyard, we see something strange. A few of the shrieks have reached a group of villagers, but instead of slaying them, they’re trying to abduct them alive. While this wouldn’t be strange if all villagers were female, given that darkspawn need broodmothers to multiply, they are taking the men, too. What…?

We make short work of the darkspawn, and at this point, some of our newly joined Wardens have fallen, but only the Wardens. Now would be a really good time for Janos to show up.

At this moment, we hear loud dum, dum, dum. Huge footsteps approach. We look at each other and have all the same reaction: Ah shit.

The gates to the courtyard break down and a huge ogre walks in. Oh boy, here we go. Now would be a really good time for Janos to show up!

We take down the ogre with great difficulty and see that another large influx of darkspawn follows. After dealing with those, the fighting ceases for a moment.

We head to the battlements and see another group on the outskirts of the village. Then we remember the huge loose rock. Oh yeah, baby.

We quickly load up a ballista and aim across the village, towards the jagged cliff. It takes three shots for the edge to become lose enough, but it works. The huge rock collapses upon the newly approaching darkspawn horde, squashing them all beneath, but taking some of Lavendel’s houses with it.

The relief is short-lived, however, as we can still sense the Taint in our heads. Further away, past the outskirts of the village, we can already see a new horde of darkspawn amassing. And still no sign of Janos.

We gather a quick emergency meeting between the Wardens, and some start speculating that…Janos might not be showing up. Evka and Antoine are of the same belief, while Caronel holds on to the hope that reinforcements are on their way. Why wouldn’t they be? Wardens stick together.

But what about us? What do we believe? Janos personally recruited us all those years ago, he personally saw to our training. Why would he…but where is he then? Why isn’t he coming? Maybe he was held up? But by what? Was there another darkspawn horde on the other side of the hills? But why can’t we sense them? In fact…why can’t we sense any other Wardens in the immediate vicinity aside from us?

Wherever Janos might be, we have to hold out on our own. But if the darkspawn keep coming, we won’t hold out at all eventually. And if the Wardens die, the villagers will be…what exactly? Killed? Or taken? No villager has died so far. Why is that? What’s going on here?

Eventually, Thorne concludes that if we are to survive, we must seal that damn entrance ourselves.

But how will we go about this? Do we take all Wardens with us, or just a few?

Take all Wardens to the Deep Roads entrance. The villagers are exposed but the darkspawn may be largely drawn to us given that they haven’t even as much as injured anyone else yet.

Take Evka and Antoine and leave Caronel and the other Wardens with the villagers.

No matter what we choose, we are going against the First Warden’s orders to not leave Lavendel under any circumstances until reinforcements arrive. And at this point, if we are to survive, we have no other choice. We tell Caronel and the other Wardens to secure the villagers’ retreat from Lavendel, while Thorne, Evka and Antoine head off to seal the entrance to the Deep Roads. Caronel is hesitant at first but comes to agree with you. In Death, sacrifice, true, but the sacrifice has to mean something. Varric offers to accompany us but since he’s no Warden, we refuse. He’s more useful with protecting the villagers without risking getting instantly blighted.

Approaching the Crack

With Evka and Antoine at our side, along with several grenades from the stronghold, we head across the dark hills. A few darkspawn break off from the main horde and try to stop us, but we make short work of them.

After a few short skirmishes, we reach the entrance to the Deep Roads, a very steep crack located between two rocky hills. It is guarded by two ogres. The rest of the horde have already departed for Lavendel. It’s now or never. We might be fewer but two ogres…we can take them. Maybe.

We throw ourselves into a fight with the two giants and slay them after exchanging some fierce blows.

Now that we have a short breathing moment, we must quickly go about sealing that entrance. However, looking at it reveals that we can only collapse it by doing so from below. No use doing it from up here. But this action would cause the Warden who does it to be trapped.

We look at Evka and Antoine and order them to give us the grenades. They initially refuse but we remind them that as Warden Thorne, we have been given charge of this mission. It’s either us or no-one. We take the grenades and bid farewell to our favourite Warden couple, ordering them to return to the others. We then recite the oath of the Grey Wardens between us. “In Peace, Vigilance,” says Antoine. “In War, Victory,” says Evka. “In Death, Sacrifice,” says Thorne.

The Deep Roads

We descent into the cavern and find ourselves immediately struck by an overwhelming sense of the Taint. There are more darkspawn here, and they are coming.

We quickly go about preparing the grenades, when we are suddenly stricken by a strange sense. It is similar to the Taint, but also different, almost…purer. Suddenly, we become incredibly aware of the cavern around us. We can sense each layer, each type, each consistency. We can sense hidden passages, the tunnels the Darkspawn are digging right now. And we feel…whole, strangely so. And this is only something we experience if we picked a dwarven Thorne, for we are experiencing Stone Sense.

At this moment, a figure approaches us from the dark, followed by darkspawn. We look up and see a tall, cloaked being, wearing dark armour that we can’t recognise. We can definitely sense the Blight in it, but it’s…weirdly different in a way we can’t describe. The figure has veins of lyrium writhing all around its form, red lyrium.

It speaks to us, but we can only hear its voice in our head. It asks us to stop, to let be done what must be done. When we ask who and what this thing is, it simply refers to itself as “The Emissary”. While the Emissary won’t tell us exactly why it wants the villagers, it hints at a great and regrettable mistake that has to be rectified before it’s all too late.

Being the Warden we are, we attempt to still go through with our grenade plan, but the Emissary casts a spell of pure, raw magic on us, causing us to be knocked against a wall. But we refuse to go down fighting and challenge the Emissary to a one on one.

Similar with Laskaris in the Shadow Dragon origin, the Emissary is a fight we aren’t meant to win. But if we lower its HP to 0, the cutscene will be a little different.

In our seemingly dying breath, we hurl the grenades against the weakest parts of the crack, which we can clearly determine due to our Stone Sense. The Emissary howls in fury as the rocks descend upon us, sealing the Deep Roads off of Lavendel for good. All turns black around us.

Saved

But strangely enough, this isn’t the end. We wake up back in Lavendel and see Varric. He says he followed us in secret as he had a feeling we might be needing assistance. When Evka and Antoine showed up without us, he increased his pace and the three made it just in time. Varric climbed down and found us in the rubble, saving us from certain death.

Evka and Antoine join us and profusely apologise for leaving our side, despite us ordering them to do so. Well, it seems the Wardens in general have a feeling for disobedience as of lately.

When we inquire about Lavendel, we are told that everyone is save and none have been taken. This is because of the time we took to explore the place before the battle. By sealing the basement and collapsing the great rock, the darkspawns’ numbers were too few for what came next.

But…what came next? We find out the moment we walk outside.

A whole entourage of Wardens hurry about Lavendel. The reinforcements arrived after all. Or so we think.

High Constable Janos and the First Warden approach us. When we remark on the lateness of the reinforcements, the First Warden orders us imprisoned. What? Why? For disobedience, of course. We see that Janos is uncomfortably silent during this exchange.

But we saved Lavendel. We repelled the darkspawn horde and sealed the entrance to the Deep Roads. What could he possibly be so mad about? It can’t just be about disobedience, right?

Well…as we slowly, horrifyingly learn from the conversation, Lavendel wasn’t meant to survive. All who were there, Wardens and villagers alike, were supposed to fall to the darkspawn.

Here we get the context: the Calling has been manifesting in more and more older Wardens. At the same time, Weisshaupt is receiving fewer and fewer recruits. This combination will eventually have the effect of the order facing extinction. And outside the Anderfels, the Right of Conscription means less than nothing now. The world has grown complacent in a world without the Blight, even though the recent one has only been twenty years ago. And the Anderfels doesn’t have a large enough population to feed the ranks on its own.

By using this abnormally large darkspawn horde, letting it consume villagers and Wardens alike, the First Warden hoped to convince the nobility to encourage greater recruitment again. It can’t be a coincidence that the Calling has been manifesting increasingly more frequent now.

But Thorne has been a thorn in this plan’s side and ensured that the First Warden’s plan backfired spectacularly.

Shocked, we turn to Janos and ask him if he was aware of this. Yes, he was. In Death, Sacrifice. In War, Victory. And the war isn’t over as long as Razikale and Lusacan still slumber beneath the surface.

Caronel has been stripped off his rank as Warden-Commander of the Anderfels and Evka and Antoine will be assigned to very far-away duties for the foreseeable future. Thorne, however, as the instigator of this chaos, is to be tried for disobedience and treason.

This is where we can lash out, accusing the First Warden of having lost his way. We can also add that Lavendel’s villagers wouldn’t have died anyway as the Emissary wanted to collect them. When we tell the Wardens of what we saw beneath the surface, the First Warden, as we would assume, does not believe us, assuming we’re using this as a convenient excuse to paint ourselves in a more heroic image. Janos, however, knows us, so he isn’t so sure.

At this point, Varric chimes in and argues against trial and imprisonment, stating it as just a waste of effort. Instead, he offers to take Thorne away for a matter of great importance. The First Warden objects, stating that Weisshaupt’s affairs are to remain its own. Janos, however, in a change of tone, takes Varric’s side. Whatever Thorne’s reasonings are, one can’t deny that we are a true Warden. NO matter the disobedience, we fought against the Blight and won. There will be other opportunities to gather more recruits, but we do not deserve a trial for doing what we joined the order for.

The First Warden eventually relents. Remember, he is still a Grey Warden, with Thedas’ best interest at heart. Him doing this whole Lavendel thing was him acting out of desperation to keep the order alive in the long run. The morality is incredibly questionable, he’s definitely an asshole, but he is not heartless. Rather than putting us in chains, the First Warden suspends us from all Weisshaupt duties and instead tasks us with travelling the lands, searching for new recruits until further notice. Dismissed.

Leaving Lavendel

When the First Warden leaves, Janos makes an attempt at conversing with us, apologising for sending us into death. We can be either understanding, or angry, or just hurt. Despite our rough exterior, we are hurt because Janos was the one who saved us from another execution in the first place. Janos definitely feels bad about it, but orders were orders. Yeah…orders were orders, we respond.

Varric approaches us and confesses that he’s not here by accident. He’s looking for someone among the Wardens to accompany him on a very special mission of the utmost importance. He heard from some of his contacts that Lavendel would have fitting candidates. And he is certain he just found the one. What exactly are we doing, now that we’re stuck with him? Varric promises to reveal everything in good time. Now, he would very much like to get out of this place. We can either go immediately or have some final conversations. Being the completionists we are, we of course choose the latter.

We can talk to Evka and Antoine and just be glad that we’re all still alive, despite being given rather shitty jobs now. Well, that’s a no on the promotion for now, right? But we’re confident we’ll see each other sooner rather than later.

Caronel honestly doesn’t even care about his demotion. He’s just glad he survived and is now able to return to Valya. But if he were still Warden-Commander, he would make us Senior Warden in a heartbeat. Sometimes, one simply has to defy orders.

We can talk to Mila, who excitedly announces that her father has taken Janos’ offer to be Weisshaupt’s new blacksmith, given that the fortress desperately needs one again.

The Wardens who were under our command during the battle look up to us in awe and call us a hero and inspiration, no matter what the First Warden says. They actually pretty much despise him now as he was so willing to just let them die.

Once all of this is done, we head to Varric and and half-enthusiastically announce our readiness to depart. Varric smiles and welcomes us to the team. What team? Oh, we’ll see. But he recommends us going by another name for the foreseeable future as the First Warden might just be petty enough to make our life more difficult by telling foreign Wardens or members of the nobility about our streak of disobedience and conspiracy theories. Well, that’s easy enough, we say, back in the Dornen, the others used to call us “Rook” for that one time we headed straight in and brought down a very well-connected Hossberg nobleman. “The strongest piece on the chessboard,” Varric chuckles. “I like it.”

Now going by Rook once again, we head off with Varric. As Lavendel is nearly out of sight, we turn around and look at the gathered Wardens one last time. This…is not how we pictured leaving the order one day. But no, we haven’t left it. We’re just…taking a vacation. With a heavy heart, we turn back to Varric and follow him into the unknown.

And that’s it for this one! Now we have our Grey Warden Rook origin story. It’s a lot, I know, but the Wardens have a lot of material to work with. And the whole plot surrounding the Emissary will make sense later, I promise.

Next time we shall be heading off into Arlathan Forest to draft a potential Veil Jumper origin story! Stay tuned!

Rewriting Veilguard Part 4 - The Veil Jumpers

[jozlyn-moon]

The Cipher Twins

Ford’s Journal Entry:

(It’s long! And one of the first Journal Entries I’ve gone fully into making!)

“How and Why that devil managed to “conceive”, and I use this term loosely, is beyond me. Especially when it’s taken in mind how careful with planning he chooses to be. But the outcome of two children that share such gains of his power is.. well- reckless, but that does give us a view that he isn’t as on his game as much as he once was, which in my eyes shows as a beacon of hope. Continuing though-

These two have been an eye opening pain in the ass to deal with in all the years that they’ve had to be in my life… and that’s saying quite a bit. From the oddities that sprout from their father’s genes to the oddities that come from each of their unique personalities that stem from their own special quirks, to study them has been an experience. Though, if I shouldn’t lie.. I may have chosen a favorite of the two for one reason or another and even if either manages to get a hand on my writing their opinion would not much matter in the end.

To begin on the first, Lily Cipher, a rambunctious but albeit pleasant kid to be around. An attribute which I could only give thanks to in the mother’s raising of both of the twins which I presumed had fortunately been enough to quell any evil nature that may have been held in her soul. Along with the fact that there had been no contact with the father in her and her sibling’s upbringing. Ignoring that fact- She can be described as a great help around the lab, seeing as age and stress have worn down my ability to keep steady with my motor and cognitive skills… she comes in handy as a shockingly fast learner, but to no surprise really as much as I don’t want to point the praise at where the origin of the ability may have come from, I do have my guesses to who it was passed down from.

She is a very curious and hyperactive child as well, being quite fascinated in the little things and anything that moves, she could only remind me of Mabel in her younger years in the most bitter sweet way possible. I pray for the moment that she’s alright.. but besides that point-

I find that she’s been a large help in also understanding, if not, being able to decrypt the genetics of my enemy, with her ability to shape shift into a form similar to the beings of Bill’s late home dimension, flatlanders as they’re called, she has given key samples of skin and DNA that have properties no normal being can handle nor have. I believe she and her brother are direct keys in Bill’s downfall. And while I wish to be optimistic to the outcomes of their existence at the current time, I do hold dread for whats to come. As while I may have positive outcomes with the more sweet hearted sibling… I have trouble describing the short tempered and snide one as such. Liam is another whole pile of bones to dissect but i’ll get to his summary soon enough.

Lily, and what baffles me the most about her, is how something so, well giddy and sweet by nature, can come out of such a creature that can be so, by choice, dangerously and maliciously evil. But then again, that damn triangle had always had his charms at his hand, so it wouldn’t be a complete surprise if that had passed along to his spawn.

And as much as I want to be paranoid of my enemy’s daughter, seeing first hand her grow up with no influence of her father’s morals and presence due to her mother separating from that devil before either of the twins were born- it lets me ponder on the thought of the nature vs nurture theory and how whether or not natures of the parents pass down to the kin and how much it actual effects their psyche.

Albeit with Lily, she works on her own will with a good moral stand point and natural urge to uplift others in sometimes slightly odd but endearing ways. Though i’m afraid that it’s her brother that leaves me still questioning the nature vs. nurture stand point, as I couldn’t say the same completely for her twin.

Liam Cipher, a more reserved kid but leaning on socially aloof by choice, is one who leaves me sleeping with one eye open. Literally. Seemingly gained the temper of his father along with a slew of other worrying traits that I would rather not be in the presence of while someone has lit his fuse. He is the sole reason why I had to ban or at the least limit the use of both of their magic to the mundane and simple party tricks after an incident with him that cost me half my sight with a fit he threw when he was younger.

Though as his mother insists to me greatly, it’s not the child’s fault for the traits he was born with, he can’t help himself she claims. And while true to some extents I can’t help but feel the dread towards the thought of another Bill like being sprouting due to the “freak accident” of them being somehow made into existence. From the personality to even the damn voice that the kid shares with himself and his devil of a father, I can’t just shake off the feeling of a tense shiver that always crawls up my back when thinking of him growing older.

The only saving grace, and what calms my already paranoid nerves falls upon the ones I could think have a good hand in quelling those unsavory traits, the one’s I label the family buffers. I.e his mother, sister, and at times the cousins that are there to talk him down out of a potential blow out. I couldn’t even dare muster the thoughts to wonder what he’d turn to if his mother nor his “siblings”, if I could even loosely consider the cousins as such, weren’t there to quell his snappy nature. But for the sake of my cortisol levels, I can’t let those scenarios overcome my already racing thoughts because I have enough to deal with now in taking care of both of the twins that have been enough of a hassle on my growing age.

Liam for the most part has made it clear that he has a distaste for me, I believe sprouting from my coldness towards his mother for being deceptive at the beginning of our begrudging guardianship over the kids. And he places it as if I have no good reason, if it wasn’t clear that I have some bother that hiding the children of that damned demon under my nose with what current family I have left wasn’t something to not be chastised for. Not to mention that her withholding from the implicit truth had allowed me and my great great niece and nephew to harbor an attachment to the twins which if I had known before hand their origin… would not have ended well for her.

But I am not heartless, I do understand the fears that may have accompanied the weight of telling the truth at the time. And I’ve learnt that I shouldn’t be one to not swallow my pride and say I know I would have probably acted rashly. But as someone who freshly lost what family they had left at the time I feel as if it would’ve been just.

I don’t hate either of them, even while one may be more a pain in the ass than the other. I do believe I care for them in some sense. Liam is a help to me greatly, I won’t downplay that factor at all, he’s the one that helps me draw in the newer journal entries and goes out to scout with Chloe to do some cartography of the surrounding landscape. A quirk he seems to be great at with a sense of great direction and keen eyesight, something even younger me couldn’t get down right away. My body can only do so much these days as I’ve already made my point earlier that my hands and even now legs can’t do what they did often like they used to.

He’s smart, more smart than he gives himself props for, he knows how to channel a certain charisma and silver tongue that lets him find the best supplies, of course if it isn’t the case that he had stole them in the first place. And like his sister, there is no second thought to where he got that ability from, but it’s better to not dwell on it, just for my sake at least.

Both are a handful in their own ways, but they have grown on me- and they do hold insight in how we may be able to stop weirdmaggedon once and for all.

And I pray that it can be in time.”

(If you made it down here thanks for reading it! I want to make sure I have Ford’s characterization down to some extent 😭 My grammar may not be all that great but I tried lol)

[1moreff-creator]

hey! do you have any theories on the escape plan teruko mentioned to veronika in ch 2 episode 7? teruko said she'll reveal it after the next murder, so maybe we'll find out next episode, but i'm curious if there are any clues that could suggest what it will be.

Hey! Well, as far as I can tell, there haven't been any explicit hints, beyond Teruko believing her plan to be a plan with high risk and high failure rate, and that she doesn't want to escape, just to end the killing game. She also says, right after mentioning her plan:

"I might as well wait for someone to commit murder. That's right. If a person decides to do something as terrible as taking a life, then they should bear the brunt of the consequences."

So it can be inferred her plan could be helped in some way if someone commits murder, and possibly having something to do with justice? It’s very little to go of, but I’ve come up with four possibilities (of vastly varying quality), out of which I imagine all are wrong lol. But here they are!

Spoilers up to CH2 EP15 and DR:THH. CW: Murder, execution, mentions of fire

Though I should probably mention that Teruko’s already stated some kind of plan to possibly escape, all the way in CH1 EP1. She brought up to Charles while investigating the elevator that the lack of stairs was a fire hazard, so if there was a fire, MonoTV would be forced to give them an emergency escape and they’d be able to leave.

I don’t think this is what she’s referring to when she speaks to Veronika, though, because by the time CH2 starts, Teruko doesn’t want to escape, rather, she just wants to end the killing game. So here are some options to achieve that!

-Mastermind Gambit: Teruko picks whichever character she believes to be the mastermind, and tries to kill them in front of the entire cast with her knife. That's somewhat related to the idea of “if someone decides to take a life, they should face the consequences,” right? The MM decided to put them in the killing game, they should face justice.

The idea is that, of course, if she's right and the mastermind dies, it's possible the game ends right then and there, and there's no trial.

But what if she’s wrong? This is why she has to do it in front of the rest, because if she chooses the wrong person, Teruko's luck will save both their lives. Think about it; if the victim dies, there’ll be a trial, and because Teruko killed them in front of everyone else, she’ll die. However, it’s been implied Teruko’s luck makes her effectively immortal. So to avoid Teruko’s execution, her luck would kick in and save the life of whoever got attacked, preventing the trial altogether. This is why it's worth waiting for a murder; it narrows down the suspects, and guarantees that everyone will be gathered to see her do it.

Still high risk, because she's relying on her luck to save her if she chooses the wrong person, which is particularly likely given... well, she's unlucky usually. It’s really hard to imagine her just... guessing the MM.

This is, to be clear, a very stupid idea. But would you believe me if I told you it’s not even as stupid as…?

-Complete Breakdown of the Luckster’s Execution: Basically, Teruko kills someone random and gets voted out in trial. However, her luck has to kick in, and Teruko hopes that whatever her luck does to save her from her execution has the side effect of completely shutting down the killing game one way or another. For example, if the only way for her to survive is that MonoTV irreparably malfunctions, that will happen due to her luck, and the killing game will end.

The reason she’d have to wait for someone to commit murder is that she doesn’t want to kill an innocent. I mean, that’d be pretty bad. But if a blackened is already about to get executed, why not kill them herself to try to pull this off? In this case, she’d try to kill Ace before he gets sent off.

To be absolutely clear, I don’t consider either of these first options likely in the slightest, especially given we don’t really know the extent to which Teruko is willing to literally push her luck, but oh well. Since I’m probably not going to get it right anyways, might as well throw everything I have out there :v

The next two are slightly better, but they’re still pretty wild.

-Blackened’s Blaze of Glory: Teruko has some kind of plan that happens to break one or several of the rules (eg: breaking cameras, tearing apart MonoTV to reprogram it, etc), so she doesn’t want to do it herself. Instead, once someone becomes a blackened, she’ll ask them to “bear the brunt of the consequences” by enacting whatever plan she has.

They’d probably get executed mid-attempt, but if they’re already about to get executed anyways after losing the trial, they might be willing to try one last hail mary for survival by trying to shut down the killing game. The plan is high risk for those who attempt it, and presumably has high failure rate, but that doesn’t really matter to someone on death’s door.

Ace boutta come in clutch?!?!

This one’s more plausible, in fact it may be the most plausible of these four options, and I can see it being a good send off for Ace’s character in particular given his motive was the desire to live (even if the dev’s comments seem to imply a regular execution, it’s possible the “blaze of glory” is followed by a regular execution so that’s a moot point). Unfortunately, I can’t 100% figure out what Teruko would have him try.

-Gamebreaking Gambit: Teruko does something that permanently prevents one or more of the game's rules to be fulfilled. For example, she may try to prevent the execution of the blackened (rule 3), or break the elevator so no new floor opens after the trial (rule 12).

The idea is that if MonoTV is unable to properly run the game because certain rules can't be followed, it will "break" and the game will be aborted. Obviously running interference like this is highly risky, since Teruko might get executed, and high failure rate, since there could be plenty of countermeasures against this idea from the mastermind's side, but it could work.

And the idea of preventing the blackened from being executed in particular could tie into that quote I put in the beginning. “Those who take a life should face consequences,” so if she prevents that, she’s causing things to go wrong in a way that could break the game.

This is a pretty insane plan, but something that makes it a bit more plausible in my mind is that it's been implied Teruko may remember some things about the THH killing game. And in that game, the sixth trial begins because Kirigiri managed to force the mastermind into breaking the rules of the killing game. If Teruko remembers that (unlikely as her memories seem pretty vague, but possible), she might try to replicate Kirigiri's plan. Seems really early to be pulling moves like that, but y'know.

Also allows Ace copers some hope I guess? Root for my girl, she might (try to) save your mans!

…

And that’s it! I'm out of ideas. We just have way too little context to make any more educated guesses, and there's very few plans I can come up with in general that Teruko might believe would end the killing game.

Thanks for the ask, this was fun to think about! Can’t wait to be proven completely wrong in about a week (if this really gets answered next episode)!

[elodieunderglass]

🎀

Fanfic ask game: https://www.tumblr.com/elodieunderglass/769295248269705216?source=share

“🎀 how do you decide when something is done?”

That’s such a good question, thank you! I know where I’m going with my (recent) fics because they’re all mechanisms.

They’re like a little clockwork item that I hand to you, and when you wind it up, it Does Something. It opens up to show you something inside, or it unfolds to be something else. Or it’s a puzzle box with something exciting. Sometimes it mostly just shows you how it’s made. Sometimes it’s a jack-in-the-box and the surprise is just that it goes “pop” and makes you laugh.

It’s important that the construction be witty. In addition to the overall mechanism working properly, it’s important to me that it be done in a stylish way. Even if I don’t pull this off, I know it’s done if it’s managed to meet the goal of the mechanism and also be a bit collectible and stylish.

This is how the jokes are supposed to go off in your brain:

Anyway, I know they’re done when the mechanism works!

Sharpe’s Daemon is a very quick character study set up so the last line hits like a punch: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58673878 It’s supposed to be satisfying and funny and make you go OH NO. I knew it was done because it does this! All the writing before the punchline is there to make the punchline happen. It was written with the ending in mind: once the ending was achieved, the fic was done, and ready to be served!

The absurdly ambitious Strange Pilgrims (Good Omens) is many things, but one of them is “two interlocking spirals, one black and one white. It is about how the universe, the depicted ship, and all the small things are also in this shape - the love between the characters being the same geometry as the underpinning physics of the galaxy etc etc etc” https://archiveofourown.org/works/19368694/chapters/46082842 so it SLIGHTLY bothers me that the earlier-written chapters are weaker and unbalanced it! Also, when they announced there was going to be a Good Omens season 2, I was so disgusted that I had to scramble madly to finish the damned thing early ( it initially had a shape that could support the development of a sequel. They would have been very pretty next to each other but MY 123k baby is a Pratchett love letter, not advertisement for some other guy.) that’s why it has the absolutely unhinged Choose Your Own Adventure multiple-ending mechanism, where you select a glitchy tarot card to get “your” ending, and you can choose to stop there or interlock it further. I have not seen that done before and I CAN SEE WHY PEOPLE DONT DO IT.

His Delicious Materials (Dungeon Meshi) https://archiveofourown.org/works/56658973/chapters/144024799 is a work in progress and actually has me puzzled because the intention of the mechanism may have changed! It was scoped as a gift, but - I am so touched by this - other people like it too, and I may have to do one route for the original recipient and another for the other readers. Like the person it’s for would enjoy a cuckoo clock, but the people reading it are going “oh this is a GREAT music box” and I’m like oh dang, it WOULD be a very effective music box.

Weasel Heart in Defiance (Dungeon Meshi but as an argument with Tolkien) https://archiveofourown.org/works/60074548/chapters/153284221 is going to be 125k in order to set up an ending scene in which - having spent 125k with these idiots in their silly world - you cry. And you go THANK YOU ELODIE I GET IT. And it sets off a Halfling Revolution in your heart. That scene’s already written, and the rest of it is just colouring in. That one is already done, basically.

[sanjisprincesswifey]

obvious ⋆ trafalgar law x reader

summary: in hindsight it was sort of obvious

♡: awkward law content. female reader. 1,000+ words. sfw content.

you step outside, the bright warm sun hugging your body as you stretch out your tired limbs. it had been weeks since the polar tang broke surface, it was nice to get a calm breath of fresh air. 

that is, until three boys rambunctious laughter immediately breaks the peace you had so desperately desired. you shoot ugly looks to shachi, penguin, and bepo who were enjoying the weather on the deck. 

at first, they didn’t notice you were there, but as soon as they did, they shut right up. though, their giggles resumed as you laid down in a sun chair on deck. 

although your eyes were closed from enjoying the sun, you could still feel the three, who seemed to be playing a card game, who kept peeking over at you and giggling like school boys. 

“what?” you grittingly ask. 

the secretive laughter had been going on for days now and it grew tiring very quickly. 

“oh, nothinggg,” penguin says dragging out the last syllable. “it’s just…” he then cracks up in even more fits of giggles unable to finish his sentence. 

“i know someone who likes you,” he sing-songs, teasing like the twelve year olds they appeared to be. 

you roll your eyes. “i’m out of your league, sorry.” 

shachi and bepo burst out laughing, clutching their sides in pain. 

penguin’s face turns red as he frowns, “it’s not me!” 

you sit up in your chair, shrugging your shoulders at the three of them until shachi can finally calm down. “it’s captain! captain has a crush on you!” 

now it’s your turn to laugh, but instead you just stare at him as if he had lost his mind. 

you wanted to blame the sun for the burning sensation that covers your cheeks but you can’t, nor can you blame it for the intensity of the warmth emanating either. 

“what’re you talking about? no he doesn’t. why would you think that? did he tell you that?” you interrogate, stammering over your own words. 

“he definitely does,” bepo agrees, ignoring your curiosity as the three all nod along together. 

you groan, slumping back down in your chair. “why would i believe you idiots anyway?” you wonder aloud, closing your eyes again to hopefully regain some tranquility and a nice tan. 

“you don’t have to believe us…” penguin says, holding his hands up in defense. 

“i don’t.“ 

“…but who do you think put the chair out here for you?” 

your eyes shoot open as you process what he had just said. the polar tang was submerged not even two hours ago. 

“that doesn’t mean he—“

“he knew you’d come out here, just like you do every time,” shachi explains. 

“so what? he puts a chair out for me, that doesn’t mean he likes me,” you gawk, annoyed this was effecting you the way that it was. 

“he always cuts the crusts off your sandwhiches.”

“even if he’s not the one who made it,” bepo chimes in. 

you try to keep your cool the best you can, but it was clear what the only thing on your mind was.

all the unnecessary but minuscule doting that law would do seemed to brush over your head completely up until this moment. 

you glance back over to the boys who have seem to drop the subject and return to their card game. 

as you stand and head for the inside of the polar tang, you try your hardest to not look back as their giggles resume when they realize what you’re doing. 

your steps echo against the metal as you beeline for his study room which was supposed to remain undisturbed, but you figure he wouldn’t mind if you were the one who came in. 

when you’re face to face with the door, there’s a sign posted on the metal that read “studying, do not disturb,” but you ignore it as you knock harsher than normal. 

there’s no noise on the other side and you assume it’s law choosing to ignore the call. but you persist, you knocking again, this time with more force. 

“busy,” law shouts, surely hoping to end the incessant knocking. 

annoyed, you open the door regardless of his protest to do so. as soon as the door is open enough for you to enter, you slip in seeing law spin in his chair with an unamused stare.

his face falters for a couple seconds when he realizes that it’s you, but resumes it’s unforgiving disposition seconds later. “hey! i said i’m busy, did you not see—“ 

“you like me,” you bluntly state, leaning against another one of his desks with your arms crossed.

his face drops, glancing between you and every other object in the room. his cold, off-putting demeanor disappears and what replaces it is an awkward, stuttering mess of a man. 

“wh—what do you mean? of course, i, uh, like you. you’re a good asset to this team and—“ when law realizes that was certainly not what you meant, his head falls in his hands. “…yes, i…like you,” he admits. 

his voice is muffled so you can barely hear him, but you’re glad you did and nod with a soft smile. so those idiots weren’t fucking with you, for once. 

when he notices that you haven’t left, he sits up slightly, “do you,uh,” he dryly coughs, “like…me too?”

the slight blush that tints his tanned cheeks is almost comical, you’ve never seen him look so vulnerable before.

“yeah, i like you.” you smile.

law tries his hardest to not show the extent of his excitement, but the smile that forces its way on his face as he looks away is a dead giveaway. 

“so…does this mean you’re my girlfriend now?” the hopeful tone in his voice makes your heart skip a beat. you’d always known his hard-boiled personality was a facade, it was pretty obvious, but you didn’t think you, of all people, would see what was underneath.

“how about a date first?” you offer, walking over to him and placing a kiss on his cheek. 

his eyes widen, the blush from before now spreading to his entire face as he hastily nods his head, “right, right. that sounds better.”

you giggle, tousling his dark hair. 

“was it obvious?” he questions, still cringing at his own behavior. 

you think back to the three boys on the sun deck who were surely having the time of their lives right now. ”yes, yes it was.” 

like, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated! (✿◠‿◠)

[rambyol]

Analysis - The Joker’s cards for Bruce and what they suggest:

We shouldn’t take Handwriting psychology literally as it’s very subjective but it’s definitely fascinating what we can learn or pull from a characters penmanship.

1. The Card from the Church

Between the two cards, this one is my favourite because it has the most personality in it.

This card shows up after the events at Wayne Tower where Joker and Harley unleash the Virus (Gas Bomb) and during Batman, Iman, and Tiffany’s search for the next Bomb.

Right off the bat, the penmanship on this card is messy. The letters are jagged, some misaligned, and some have varying degrees of pressure to them.

Writing with a lot of pressure can be a sign of attention seeking behaviour and Joker is trying to get Batman’s attention, obviously, but more notably the pressure on the letters mimic Johns/Jokers speech. John has a habit of subverting and exaggerating certain words in his speech. For instance when talking about Harley potentially setting off the bombs on the bridge (if you choose to trust John), John describes that hypothetical as ‘exciting’. It’s no surprise that writing can reflect our speech but as I mention below it’s a sign of being unfiltered.

It’s evident that Joker isn’t dwelling on presentation here, much like his fashion sense, there’s a disheveled appearance to his writing.

The scribble in the bottom left corner where you can see Joker was checking to see if the pen was still working is kind of endearing since this letter was intended for Batman and the scribble indicated a lack of filter, as is observed through Villain Jokers personality. V Joker is arguably the least filtered out of all 3 in my opinion and naturally that would reflect in every facet of him down to his writing. I mean even his attempt to scribble out the joke at the end seems half hearted, because we can still see it clearly.

In addition we’ve got the doodles of a heart and a mystery doodle which Batman has his thumb covering (I wonder what it is 0_o). Doodles display playfulness and of course that childish is pretty consistent to Johns character regardless if he goes down the Vigilante or Villain route.

Jokers handwriting here is relatively ‘bad’ but without going into detail (I want to wrap this one up) we can see that theres a struggle for consistency in his lettering and strokes, which mirrors his personality in way. John was/and Joker is very muddled at times because his motives are all over place and it’s hard to determine what he wants. Now sometimes I think people see inconsistency in characters as ‘bad writing’ but I see it as making them more believable/complex. So yes, ‘unstable’ writing comes as no surprise.

2. The Card from Joker’s Funhouse

Now this one’s shorter but it’s much more presentable. The lettering is mostly level and although there’s the mix between capital and lower case letters within the same word it’s overall more thought out. Even the doodles of the diamonds (?) on top of the ‘i’ are consistent. There’s a bluntness to this that otherwise isn’t seen in the first letter, the sentence are short and concise almost as if Joker has more control here. And he does, Bruce sees this letter after being shocked unconscious by Joker. He’s not in his Batsuit and he’s being led towards the games that Joker is going to force him to play before ‘dinner’.

I know this is written with a different pen, clearly a marker and that can effect penmanship, I know I write better with a certain type of pen (thicker ball points) but I like to think there’s more certainty in Joker at this point in the story about what he’s doing, since before this, John was a part of other peoples plans.

Also this one reads more intimately than the other for obvious reasons like with the use of the term ‘our secret’ and the domestic connotations of ‘dinner’ but that of course goes into the bigger scheme of this being presented as a dinner party. What I think is most important in this letter is how the heart ❤️ has no arrow in it. Unlike the first card which did;

According to Google:

A heart symbol pierced with an arrow, symbolizing romantic love (being lovestruck, or the pain of lovesickness) A typical depiction of the Sacred Heart (often shown with other attributes, e.g. surmounted by a cross, pierced by nails or swords, etc.)

Okay maybe the first one was more intimate?

But from what I could find about a plain heart and what it could potentially mean, the closest I could really find was ‘unromantic but sincere love’. And with what we know about Joker’s determination and certainty that he is the ‘villain’ of Batmans/Bruces dreams (a term could definitely be a stand in for other things) I think that certainty comes off here too. Bruce never questions or entertains the thought that Joker would have taken his suit off in front of others or had his henchmen do it, it’s clearly implied with how committed Joker is to not exposing Batmans identity that it was HIM who removed the batsuit off Bruce’s unconscious body. Point is, there’s this mutual/unspoken assuredness between them that this is in fact THEIR secret.

End!

Phew! Idk if this made sense or even coherent but I just found the letters really cool and wanted to talk about them. Let me know if I should go into more detail or pls add to this in the notes I’d love to hear your ideas!

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hey I just got my first period and I'm so fucking dysphoric about it what do I do I'm so confused I feel like shit and my dysphoria is through the roof

Lee says:

I would start off by exploring your menstrual product options which can make it easier to cope with having your period.

Period underwear is probably the easiest product to use because you already know how to wear underwear so you don't have to worry about putting it on wrong. Period underwear has built-in absorbent layers and is reusable and discreet to wear, but some people might feel self-conscious about washing them at the end of the day if they aren't used to washing their own underwear and don't have a private bathroom, or they might have dysphoria about washing them. You will likely need more than one pair (at least 2 pairs) even if you wash them daily because they need to dry, so there's a bit of an up-front cost but then since they're reusable it can be cheaper than pads and tampons in the long run.

The step below period underwear in terms of usability is probably pads. They tend to be pretty easy to use and also don't require insertion into the body, but if you don't place them right sometimes blood can leak around the edges where the pad isn't. Another placement issue might come up if you wear some styles of men's underwear, like boxers, it can be hard to use pads unless you wear a different type of underwear underneath which can feel bulky. Similarly to period underwear, blood on pads might feel more noticeable than internal options, which might increase dysphoria for some. You will need to buy pads over and over, so even they aren't that expensive to buy, the cost of buying them can add up. If your family buys the pads for you or you can get them at school for free then that isn't a big of a deal, but it does matter for some people.

Some trans people swear by menstrual cups because they're reusable and cost-effective. Once inserted correctly, they can be worn for up to 12 hours depending on flow, and the feeling of the blood can be less noticeable than pads or period underwear since it's not coming out. It can also be useful if you like swimming or have swimming classes, and/or if you're in a situation where you're stealth and have access to a private bathroom to wash the menstrual cup but don't feel like you can hide a whole package of pads in your stuff. But it can be hard to find the right size/model sometimes, so it can require multiple different brands and sizes to get the one that works best for you. Some people find the feeling of wearing one uncomfortable, have a hard time with the insertion, worry it'll affect their IUD, etc.

Tampons and menstrual discs have similar pros and cons as menstrual cups, although tampons are not reusable and some menstrual discs are. In all three cases, the process of insertion can be dysphoria-inducing for some trans individuals, but you also have the benefits of not having to feel the blood. You will also have more security to avoid leaks since you could choose to wear a tampon/menstrual cup/menstrual disc and then also wear a pad or menstrual underwear as backup.

After you've figured out what products work for you, I'd switch gears to the long game which is trying to stop your period in a healthy way. If you're out as trans, talk to your guardians and doctors about trying puberty blockers or using birth control to stop your period.

If you're not out as trans, you can still try convincing your parents to take you to the doctor to discuss the use of birth control in stopping your period without mentioning gender dysphoria:

You could say you have a heavy flow and starting birth control will make it lighter

It can help with anemia because you aren’t losing any iron through your period blood if you don’t get your period

You could say your friend/s have done it and it helped them

To stop period related cramping and pain

You could say you have gross period side-effects (like diarrhea and more farting) for the week of your period

It can make your periods more regular (or make it so you can control when it happens so you’re not caught off guard)

Helps with PMSing so you don’t have to deal with any of that

It’s more convenient and you don’t have to remember to change your pad/tampon

If you’re disabled, it can help save spoons and effort and make your week easier

You may not be able to change your pads regularly if you’re disabled and that’s kinda unsanitary and the pads can break so stopping your period can help with that type of stress

Save money on pads/tampons

Save time having to use pads/tampons and keep visiting the bathroom during class

It can help with migraines if you get headaches or migraines near your period

It can help with PCOS, PMDD, and endometriosis if you have any of those conditions

It might lower your risk of ovarian and endometrial cancer (but increase your risk of breast cancer) so that's something to discuss with a doctor based on your family history and personal risk factor

If you swim, it’s better to not have your period (And it’s inconvenient for athletes in general)

It can help regulate your mood (especially if you’re mentally ill and find mood fluctuations around your period hard to handle)

Why have a period when you can not have one? Some people feel there are no positive things about having a period because they feel it is inconvenient/[insert personal adjectives]

It’s pretty safe and many people do it, and if your doctor prescribes it and monitors you then there’s not a big risk in it

How do I talk about birth control with my dad?

Here’s a NY Times article called “For the Teen Who No Longer Wants a Period”, I’d start the conversation by sending them that link then if they ask more, give them the excuses above!

Finally, there are coping strategies that you can explore to manage the feelings of dysphoria that you may experience when you have your period-- this post has more info on that.

Followers, any advice for anon?

[maximoffwitch]

I love johanna mason, could you do something like reader was In the hunger games before her and they met when Johanna won, and they got close like close and then the 75th hunger games come and both of them get pick to go in. You can choose which districts she from, but maybe just her and johanna In the arena together. (Sorry, it's a lot)

The Calm in the Storm

pairing: johanna mason x reader

warnings: blood, canon typical violence, slight mention of ptsd

word count: 1.6k

summary: You have an effect on Johanna that no one else does. In other words, Katniss should thank you for saving her life from the rage of your girlfriend.

a/n: thanks anon for sending this request in!! this is my first time writing for johanna and the hunger games so it might be a little ooc or rough lol, but i hope u all enjoy this lil story :))

“Someone’s here,” Katniss alerted, immediately drawing an arrow from her quiver.

You stayed behind the younger girl, barely peeking over her shoulder as Finnick looked on through the leaves.

When Finnick had first approached you about the alliance with the District 12 tributes, you were hesitant. But as he further explained Plutarch’s plan, the more willing you became.

Despite being the same age as you, Finnick was your mentor when you won your games, so you trusted his gut. After all, he was a big reason you were still alive.

“Johanna,” you barely heard him mutter. Before you could even register the three distant figures, Finnick took over running. “Johanna!”

“Finnick!” Johanna’s voice echoed across the beach, piercing through your foggy thoughts.

“Johanna?” you whispered to yourself before you pushed past Katniss and took off running behind Finnick, leaving a bewildered pair of victors behind you.

As you got closer, you noticed she was covered in blood and you felt your chest tighten. “Johanna,” you swallowed the knot in your throat, fearing the possibility she had been severely injured.

“It’s not mine,” she reassured, and you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. You saw her guard soften for a brief second before shooting right back up as Peeta and Katniss approached.

“Well, I got them out,” Johanna turned back towards Finnick. “We were all the way deep into the jungle, where I thought it was gonna be safe.

“That’s when the rain started. I thought it was water. Turned out to be blood,” she explained as Wiress continued to repeat “tick tock” over and over again.

“Hot, thick blood,” Johanna moved the older woman out of her way, clearly not wanting to be touched. “It was coming down. It was choking us. We were stumbling around, gagging on it, blind.”

You took a few steps towards her with the hopes of trying to calm her down. Wiress continued to mutter the same two words, starting to irk even you.

“That’s when Blight hit the force field,” Johanna took a deep breath, and you tentatively put your hand on the small of her back. She visibly calmed for a moment, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. “He wasn’t much, but he was from home.”

“Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock,” Wiress put a hand on Johanna’s shoulder, and you could see the annoyance written across Johanna’s face; her patience was wearing thin.

“What’s wrong with her?” Katniss furrowed her brows.

“She’s in shock,” Beetee explained from the water. “Dehydration isn’t helping. Do you have fresh water?”

“We can get some,” Katniss answered.

Wiress braced both hands on Johanna’s shoulders, desperately pleading, “Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.”

Backing up from the pair, you watched as Johanna threw the older woman to the sand.

“Hey! Get off her!” Katniss yelled, moving quickly to push Johanna. Your eyes widened. You knew this could end dangerously for both women if the situation wasn’t deescalated. Quickly, you shot Finnick a glance, urging him to do something, to which he gave you a small nod.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Johanna protested, as she tried to defend herself.

Before more shoves could be thrown, or before weapons could be drawn, Finnick stepped in separating the two, “Hey, hey, hey,” he pulled away a screaming Johanna, moving her towards you.

“I got them out for you!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Finnick murmured, his arms still wrapped around her.

“Let me go, Finnick!” she yelled, trying to shrug him off.

This time, it was his turn to shoot you a glance over her head, telling you it was your turn to take over.

“Let me go,” Johanna ordered, and you raised your eyebrows at Finnick, who relented, releasing her, “I’m fine.”

“Jo,” you held out your hand with the smallest of smiles, “come on.”

As she looked down at your hand, you saw a wave of tension leave Johanna’s body. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed your hand and let you pull her towards the water.

“Let’s get you washed off,” you suggested, the two of you already waist deep in the water. “Lie back.”

Johanna rolled her eyes childishly and grumbled, “I’m not a child, (Y/N).”

“I know, Johanna,” you agreed with a hum, running your thumb across the back of her hand you still held. “Just let me take care of you.”

Johanna visibly softened, squeezing your hand as an apology. You were the only person who put her as their first priority. Even Finnick, though he had a huge heart of gold, had Annie. But you, you always looked out for her.

The two of you met the year after Johanna won her games when you were both mentors. Though many were put off by her abrasiveness and sarcasm, you knew that it was all just a facade. You, too, had spent the years after your games and during your mentoring creating a persona for the capitol.

You were drawn to Johanna’s intelligence and strength, not to mention her beauty of course, so you made the effort to get to know her, the real Johanna.

While she was wary of you at the first, cautious of your charm and outgoing nature, Johanna realized that that was your own coping mechanism for dealing with your trauma.

As both of you let your walls down for each other, you became closer and closer, realizing what you had was beyond friendship. You loved her, and she loved you.

You were the one to comfort her after she woke up screaming from nightmares, or to train with her in the late hours when she couldn’t sleep. And you always listened and validated her feelings, even when they were being yelled and cursed aloud.

And Johanna, she was the one to protect you from anything and everything, even Finnick, when he pinned you during sparring. She was the one who held you when you cried, soothingly whispering calming words. And Johanna, no matter what, always said ‘I love you’ before the day ended.

In a world that didn’t care, the two of you found solace in each other.

Johanna followed your order and lied back in the water so she was floating, your hand offering support on the small of her back.

“Close,” you hummed as Johanna shut her eyes. Carefully, you splashed water over her face and cleaned off the blood that coated her skin. “Open.”

Opening her eyes, Johanna was met with the sight of you and she swore she could cry.

Despite cuts and dirt littering your face and sweat clinging to your hair, she swore you looked more beautiful than ever. You wore an endearing smile as you looked down at her, gently guiding her head back so her hair was soaked in the water.

As you ran your hand through her hair, watching the blood dye the blue water, Johanna hummed.

“Penny for your thoughts?” you lightly scratched her scalp.

“My thoughts are worth a lot more than that, (Y/N/N),” Johanna smirked, causing you to chuckle and roll your eyes.

“Do you think it’ll be worth it?” Her voice became more solemn and her lips pursed together.

“What?”

“Saving Katniss,” she let out a dry laugh as she moved to stand up right in the water. “This whole Mockingjay rebellion.”

You stayed quiet for a moment, her question raising all the doubts you had when Finnick originally proposed this plan to you.

“I hope so,” you whispered, pulling her closer by her waist so you were nearly hugging. “I’m done being a piece in their games, aren’t you?”

Johanna nodded but didn’t say anything. Furrowing your brows, you used the pad of your thumb to wipe a streak of blood that was still on her cheek.

“Love?” you prodded.

“Do you ever wonder why one of us wasn’t the Mockingjay?”

“Johanna,” you sighed, trailing off.

“I mean I get why not me,” she continued. “Nobody likes me. But you…?”

“Hey!” you protested, wrapping your arms around her neck. “I like you.”

Johanna bit back a genuine smile. “Thank god for that,” she cupped your cheek and connected your lips. Despite the saltiness from the water and the faint metallic taste lingering from the blood rain, you could still taste the pine from the District 7 Johanna carried everywhere – one more thing from home.

“Hey, lovebirds,” Finnick shouted from the beach, causing the two of you to break apart, and you rested your forehead against hers. “Katniss has something!”

Johanna sighed before pecking your lips quickly, wanting to savor the moment.

“Come on,” you took her hand as the two of you waded towards the shore. “It sounds important.”

As you reached the dry sand, Johanna pulled you back before you could reach the others. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” you turned back around, concern laced in your voice.

“I love you,” she stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You grinned, wrapping her in a tight hug. “I love you too,” you whispered into the crook of her neck.

“Let’s go see what the girl on fire wants,” Johanna teased as you separated.

You could only roll your eyes as she smirked, the two of you rejoining the group.

As Katniss explained that the arena was some sort of clock, you remained close by Johanna’s side, basking in the warmth she radiated. Listening to the explanation, you felt everything to click into place, only causing your anxiety to heighten. Johanna, being able to read you like a book, discretely interlaced your fingers with hers and gave your hand a quick squeeze, helping ease your nerves slightly.

Amidst the chaos and brutality of the games, you were grateful to have her to ground you; and for Johanna, you were the calm in the storm.

[corviiids]

customary sparknotes for chapter 10

nobody asked this time i just got shit to say. don't read this post unless you've read chapter 10 of my akechi palace au fic "as you like it" because it will make 0 sense forever. here we go

the code for this part took way longer than i want to admit for it being so simple because it just kept breaking in really stupid ways and then it didn't work on mobile. it's fine. it's fine now. tell me if it's broken. don't tell me

i had this dream sequence part drafted back when i posted chapter 9. the thing that took so long was the action sequence, which is ALWAYS the thing that takes so long. i finished my first draft of this chapter about a month ago sitting in a hotel bar, and i got it to where it is now a few days ago sitting in the same hotel bar, so, thanks to that hotel bar and its fantastic jalapeno cocktail and very patient staff for sponsoring this chapter. not sponsoring actually the cocktails are expensive i sponsored myself. anyway

end of dumb preamble? beginning of dumb amble

this first bit takes place in ren's mind as a dream sequence after he gets hit with the sleep effect, basically. parts of it are laid out in a sort of mockup of a stageplay script, although obviously this isn't how you'd write a real script haha. i wanted to play with, like... akechi's palace is a theatre, but he and ren have a lot in common. in his own way, ren is a performer, too.

the scenes with the phantom thieves are all in past tense, which is how the flashbacks in this fic have been written. the recurring motif is how the phantom thieves interact with ren, mostly via his glasses, generally along the theme of how they see him. i didn't really make this explicit, but in all of these scenes, none of the thieves look him directly in the eye.

in the game, ren usually has two or three dialogue options. his narration in this moments are the options he didn't choose. he always chooses the one which is the least direct and the most deflective, because in these moments he is feeling vulnerable and being honest is too overwhelming. by the way, "don't look at me like that" is text that appears in one of p5's menus:

which i just find interesting.

the scenes with akechi, by contrast, are told in present tense. they're also rife with unreality. the setting changes as though it's a dream, which of course it is. it's unclear whether these scenes are an amalgam of things that happened that ren is mixing and remembering oddly, or if he's conjured them.

ok let's look at the script scenes as well. they're basically all retellings of ren's run-in with shido.

the idea is that in tokyo, ren spends a lot of time lying in bed replaying those moments in his head, wondering how else it could have gone. no matter how many times he plays it out, no matter how he thinks about regretting what he did, walking away, making a different call,

he always makes the same choice.

do you ever think about how disproportionate that trumped up assault charge was? ren, frustrated and bitter, has to wonder - if he was just going to get pulled up on assault anyway, what difference would it have made if he'd actually just fucking done it? at least gotten to do the thing he got busted for. for catharsis, or whatever.

unlike the phantom thieves, akechi DOES look ren in the eye

he doesn't let ren get away with dodging his questions, and he repeatedly asks ren what he actually thinks

and with akechi, ren is able to say what he's really thinking.

ok now the rest of the amble

i love writing a fic which has akechi's name plastered all over it and then repeatedly going SURPRISE! this is about ren. it's about ren.

ren's been really struggling with this whole hero thing a lot. i think this battle is where it really comes to a head, because all the shit akechi was giving him in the last chapter about the ethics of stealing a heart is really getting to him. he's wondering whether he's really doing this for akechi or if it's for his own satisfaction, plus the burden of being the leader of the phantom thieves weighs heavier and heavier because if he's not doing this for akechi then that means he's doing it for himself, which means he can't play this as self-sacrificial or selfless, which means his team is putting themselves at risk for him. he's disoriented and he gets put out of commission for his trouble, which just puts his team further at risk while he spirals and tries to do right by everyone. it's a chance for the phantom thieves to step up and save him - as their friend, not their leader. i love the phantom thieves and their dorky power of friendship.

i also really liked coming up with cognitive joker. the idea of the VIP Box being inhabited solely by shido and joker was super fun to me. shido is gone from akechi's cognition, which begs the question of why the box still exists if it was allegedly only there to seat the VIP, the person at the centre of akechi's struggles - obviously it's because the distortion has grown far beyond shido, who is no longer the only person akechi performs for. joker isn't there as a guest. he broke in, and he's unkillable. by the way, his hair is based on the persona super live key art from 2019:

look at his swoopy hair. isn't he cute? i wanna squish his cheeks.

how about that awakening

okay, here's a fun fact about the fucking awakening. here's a FEW fun facts.

1. i came up with the idea of fusing robin hood and loki into a third persona before i had even published chapter 1 (way back in 2019), which means i had that idea long before persona 5 royal was ever announced.

when p5r's marketing started up and was like "we're gonna fuse everyone's first and second personae for a third persona!" i was like (throws a chair at the wall)

2. my first idea for the third persona, back at that point, was for akechi's third persona to be adraestia. she was a greek goddess who later became identified with nemesis/rhamnousia, the goddess of retribution for hubris.

then fire emblem three houses came out, and i realised adraestia was only going to call to mind the black eagles. lol. i was like ok, that's fine, it doesn't really matter, and if it bothers me a lot, i can switch to naming her rhamnousia or something.

then THIS YEAR, i decided to check whether nemesis/rhamnousia existed in smt lore as a shadow already. and as it turns OUT, i had forgotten a VERY KEY FACT ABOUT PERSONA 3.

SHE'S TAKEN. BY A DIFFERENT JUSTICE KID. so i had to change tacks again.

this really left me floundering for a second i gotta say. and then i remembered that last year, i'd written a scene in a fit of pure self-indulgence in which akechi starts telling ren all about the iliad. (this scene appears in chapter 8.) when i wrote that scene, i hadn't really been thinking that hard about how it was going to affect the plot. i just thought achilles and akechi had some interesting similarities, and also, i wanted to talk about the iliad, so i wrote the scene and figured i could cut it if it stuck out too much. anyway, i remembered that scene and was like, holy shit hang on, i have an entire thing already set up for a mythological figure who represents akechi's soul. and it actually works way better than rhamnousia, whose connection with akechi's struggle here is pretty surface-level in comparison. here's a line from my planning doc:

pretty cool how in royal he literally does have twin fates: short and blazing or long and unremarkable

so that's how akhilleus became akechi's third persona. wow! what a happy accident! i mean im a genius and it was all planned from the start obviously. it just goes to show that sometimes you go on a stupid little infodump and it ends up solving a plot problem you didn't foresee an entire year later. fixation works.

akhilleus himself is really cool to me. if i had a persona, achilles would be mine, so i hope akechi fucking appreciates that i've donated him to the goro akechi cause. idk if any artists are keen on doing character designs for personae but of the suite of art i daydream about commissioning for this fic, key art for akhilleus is definitely up there. the woman hovering behind him is his mother, obviously - and akechi's.

this other thing

i also just wanted to mention this

i usually don't outline or plan fics very well, as you can probably fucking tell from the above. im just really short sighted when it comes to outlines and i usually can't see more than a few chapters in advance except for either vague shapes or VERY SPECIFIC SCENES, so doing this kind of intricate planning is a real challenge for me.

the goho-m thing is such a small detail, but im really pleased with it just because it is one of the things i actually did very deliberately plan and set up in advance. it first appears in chapter 6 when ren and makoto go to the zoo - ren gives all his goho-ms to makoto as a show of trust, to demonstrate that he trusts her to get him and their friends home safely after they resolve his fear and resentment for her plan almost getting him killed. i did that to wrap makoto's arc, but it also served a very important plot purpose in chapter 8: ren is stranded in the courtyard with akechi's "shadow" self, and he has no easy way of getting out of the palace because he gave all of his goho-ms to queen. oh no, ren trusted his friends so much it's gonna get him killed. unless?

(this is a plot hole p5 the game just never bothers to fill or else they wouldn't get dramatic anime scenes of the phantom thieves sprinting out of the palaces as they explode and im at peace with that but i still think it's funny and also i wanted to fill the plot hole myself.)

so then it finally gets to come back in chapter 10, when ren finally falls from being their fearless heroic leader and gives his friends a chance to step up and save him for once. makoto still has the goho-ms, and when ren is occupied and out of commission, she steps up and saves them like he trusted her to do. guys! i planned something that spanned five whole chapters. wow! wow i did it.

LONG POST. VERy LONG POST. god. HEY this is it the palace is destroyed. there are still two chapters to go and a lot left to get through, but palace-wise this was the climax, which is why it took so god damn long because it's terrifying to write something so pivotal. but thank you so much for reading the fic! and this if you read it! i wrote this mostly for me again. but if you read it i love you.

[sirfrogsworth]

The Death of Physical Media

I keep seeing this concern around all of my home theater circles. Ever since Best Buy decided to abandon physical media there has been a call to arms to save it.

Chris Stuckman did a great video on his love of physical media.

I admire and share his passion.

That said, I think there is nothing to stop physical media from being scaled back. At best, it will end up like vinyl and only a few select titles will still be pressed.

Which is why I think saving physical media is the wrong fight.

There is a much larger fight that encompasses more than just blu-ray discs...

(I'm going to use really big letters for dramatic effect so don't get startled.)

DATA OWNERSHIP!

(Imagine a long trailing echo when reading that in your mind.)

(Sorry, I probably should have included those instructions in the previous parenthetical. So go back and read "data ownership" again with the proper gusto.)

(Did you do it?)

(Was it cool?)

(Cool.)

A blu-ray is just data.

The disc does not positively affect the visuals or the sounds. It's just 1s and 0s coded into microscopic pits. You can put that data on a hard drive. You can put it on an SD Card. You can put it on a thumb drive and wear it on a necklace.

You can even use WinRAR to break it up into little 1.44 megabyte chunks and save it to floppy disks.

Another 40 more cases of floppies and you've got Avatar preserved for life!

The medium is not important.

The *data* is important.

And as everything turns into a subscription we are losing out on ways to own data. Beyond that, people aren't yet seeing the value of owning data. If renting a digital download is cheaper, they are almost always going to choose that option.

So the fight is two-fold.

We need to fight for the right to parrrrrty own data.

We need to convince the populace of the value of owning data.

This can apply to software, movies, video games. Hell, I don't even own my damn doorbell videos. There is no way to download all of the footage. I'd have to do each video one at a time. And if I don't keep my subscription, I will no longer have access to that data as it will soon be deleted.

We would need a platform similar to Steam—though it isn't the perfect data ownership solution. Many titles require internet connectivity and DRM verification. What happens to our media when a company goes out of business and the infrastructure to verify the DRM over the internet is gone?

So that would need to be addressed. Perhaps a new form of DRM linked to our digital identity that can be verified locally.

I mean, I'd love to get rid of DRM, but that is probably not realistic.

I think the best avenue is probably a congressional law.

"The Own Your Own Data Act"

TOYODA?

We can workshop the name later.

In conclusion, we don't need to save blu-rays. We need the option to buy data and actually own it in perpetuity.

Meaning if a streaming service deletes a movie or a movie studio goes belly up, our data doesn't disintegrate along with it. We cannot let our favorite shows go extinct. We need to be part of preserving that history. Not to mention discs have a shelf life. But data can be transferred to new mediums indefinitely.

My house is just going to be wall to wall floppy disks.

[nerdkiller]

Can I ask what you took out of Clara’s ending? I have a hard time viewing it in a more positive light

I can understand why people feel that way about Clara's ending. There is, of course, the issue of the "human sacrifice" that the Humble ending seemingly requires, which is the main thing I think turns people off to it. I am curious about how Pathologic 3 and the future (fingers crossed) Changeling route sequel, as they've continued to lean into this question, just in a different way. I say this because I think that perhaps the underdevelopment of the Changeling route leads to many people not seeing the beauty in it. People are generally not convinced by IPL's portrayal of this ending as the final, conclusive statement of their game.

From what I've seen of fandom, it's easier to argue in favor of the Termite ending than the Utopian ending, so in my argument in favor of the Humble ending/Clara's solution, I spend most of my time countering that one instead. Besides the fact that Clara's solution as a better solution than what we get out of the Termite ending, Clara's ending also responds to Pathologic Classic HD's thematic issue of agency and how it can exist in a scripted universe.

The main argument *against* the Termite ending is that 1) Artemy becomes a false Warden like Oyun and is destined to be overthrown by Notkin, according to Capella's plan. Remember that the Kin/Bos Turokh do not recognize Artemy as legitimate (which is probably why Taya suggests he won't immediately rise to power) unless he makes the correct, proportional sacrifice—this is outright stated in his entry for the Final Proceedings on Day 12. This is because he fails to sacrifice Aglaya by choosing either the Utopian or Humble plan, who, despite claiming to want to stop the Sand Pest, is actually on its side in a way—Aglaya is there to administer a return to following the Law, the path of logic, the Law of Inevitability, and the Sand Pest is wrought out as a consequence of those Laws' existing (see the Day 7 Pantomime). And the Law, by the way, is what dehumanizes everyone in the game including the player, and forces us to make these sacrifices to survive from the moment we start to the final day in the Cathedral. The Law tricks the player, who is the only figure in the game that actually has agency, to fear the Sand Pest, because of the magic circle (by which I mean Huizinga's)—the suspension of disbelief we have to do to participate in the game, which attempts to dehumanize us, to turn us into its puppets. Clara recognizes that the world she is in, the character that she is, all of that isn't real. Only the player is real.

2)There's no guarantee that the outbreak won't return. He thinks it could and expresses as much to the Bachelor during the Bachelor's Day 12, but assumes there will be enough panacea to stop it. If we understand solving the problem of the Sand Pest in the town as not just a problem of creating panaceas or vaccines but rather a problem of not, as a player, recognizing the power of our own agency, then Artemy condemns himself to be a puppet for the fantasy that his Bound can become real Humans and make the settlement into something new. He's a content puppet, perhaps. It's not a terrible ending, but it is ultimately futile. You, as the player, never can actually see these Termites grow up, never see what they do with the Town. And they aren't real either, making it effectively pointless. Pathologic deliberately calls attention to this fact—you have only 12 days in this world, and the world does not truly exist beyond or before you arrive. Remember that this town was built for you as a puzzle to solve.

Finally, Clara's solution seems horrible because of the sacrifice of the Humbles, but because the world doesn't exist past Day 12, I like to argue that the Humbles never truly do get sacrificed. There are several hints to this conclusion. First of all, when Block asks Clara for her solution in the Cathedral, she can either tell him that she's "giving Simon back to this town," referring to the Humbles' sacrifice in metaphor, but even then, when she poses the question, "Would you like to know how I'm going to do it?" he doesn't care to hear her response. Or, when he prompts her to explain if she "really know[s] a way to preserve this town," she can respond, "What if I said no?" to which he still replies that he'll just have to deal with it and will still make the choice to retreat.

Then there's this branch of dialogue between Rubin and the Changeling (I think either Day 10 or Day 12) on that which further suggests that the Humble sacrifice may be a farce:

15. Stanislav Rubin: I don't think once will be enough [referring to Clara laying on her hands]. And you'll have to do it in public, to avoid rumours and speculations. At any rate, I'll make the extracts and see what happens. We'll try this and that. 16.Changeling: Ugh! That sounds a bit too… mechanical, for lack of a better word… 17.Stanislav Rubin: Your role in this is a mechanical one. Ask the masked Executors. They're already excitedly sharing details with each other. 18.Changeling: What's that supposed to mean? My 'role'? What role? 18.Changeling: I'd like to avoid that. Miracles and mechanics don't mix very well, do they? 19.Stanislav Rubin: I don't know. That's up to you. 20.Changeling: Yes, it's up to me… And that points my thoughts in a certain direction… 20.Changeling: …So we've gone full circle?

Which I also like to consider in context of this conversation between Saburov and Clara on Day 12:

9.Alexander Saburov: They will not let us build our life the way it was intended. The brittle magic of our community will be trampled underfoot. Our erstwhile blissful existence will be irrevocably gone. Everything will be completely different. New people will arrive, and the deadening power of the state will lay down its own Law here! Do not let that happen… as we didn't let it happen before. 10.Changeling: Will I be able to do it? 11.Alexander Saburov: You'll do fine! You'll devote yourself to other things; you'll be spinning your yarn… While your chosen regent must be cunning. He must learn to mislead them… to mask our distinctiveness… he must not let them redevelop the North-East Line any further east than the Gorkhon estuary… He must be cautious! 12.Changeling: I understand, father. You're tired. You need some rest now. 12.Changeling: I know what to do. Those who favour hard logic and direct action are bound to be misguided. But I can work miracles. And my hands are untied.

The last line from Clara, of course, is from the Theater prologue. What both Saburov and Rubin have in common is that they both fail to see beyond the veil; Saburov, the administrator, is too wrapped up in his life's work of managing this fictional town. He imagines Clara adopting a role a Mistress and finding a husband and Ruler, following the same societal structure he is familiar with, in order to maintain the precarious position the town is in, in limbo between the Law and miracles.

Rubin is similarly convinced: though he notes the Executor's laughter, he doesn't understand their irony. He expects her to play a particular "role," "mechanical" in nature, but in the end has to concede that it's "up to [Clara]." She then can signal to her audience that that "points [her] thoughts in a certain direction," suggesting that she knows a possible alternative to Rubin's explanation.

Characters who are more aware, such as the self-professed "criminal" Yulia (Day 12, Changeling Route) note the distinctive lack of people in the street (and for that matter, the plague) on Day 12, telling her, "Didn't you see everyone disappear? You won't see anything but raw vectors now, lines along which your effort may be applied."

Lastly, the Humble ending animation has just 3 sacrifices, all the generic, male, wandering NPCs, all bowing to the sandbox and dying. Sure, one can believe this is because we get to choose which of our Bound are sacrificed, and rather than animate all possible options, Ice Pick Lodge decided to represent them with just the puppet-faced NPCs. I'm of the belief that such shortcuts are also thematically relevant and meaningful regardless, whether they were intended by Ice Pick Lodge or not, as truth does not lie solely with the creator.

So, if Clara's Humbles never get sacrificed, then what is still the point? It still doesn't feel good to make the choice to sacrifice them. I would say that at least these choices are made with willing participants, whatever their reasons are, whatever their "will" means, rather than making the choice of sacrificing the Polyhedron and knowing that will entrench the town's fate in the Law with no escape. And really, the choice to sacrifice the Polyhedron, the settlement, or neither of those things/just the Humbles is less about the effect these choices have on the world, but the effect these have on us, the player. What kind of person do you become when you choose to sacrifice the Polyhedron, or the settlement, or the third option?

Now, does this lead to viewing the Humble ending in a "positive light," as you say? Maybe not, so I am sorry to disappoint. In fandom, we like to play with our toys; they are beloved to us and we want them to live forever. This interpretation of Clara's Humble ending makes it very difficult to entertain ourselves in that way. The Termite ending is not a terrible ending, but it's an ending where we ultimately live with the lie, in my opinion. In Clara's ending, there is victory in being embroiled in this world, with its devastating rules and conditions, and yet still retain our sense of Humanity and agency.

On a final note, I will say that Pathologic is one of those games where I am never done mining it for its mysteries, so I try to keep an open mind regarding details I have missed or not considered in light of other details, so I welcome discussion on this topic

[pianokantzart]

Something I love about the Mario movie is how is basically squashed any kind of ideas of Luigi being jealous of Mario from the get go that fans have come up/theorized throughout the years.

The whole “Luigi is jealous and tired of living in Mario’s shadow” has no leg to stand on when it comes to this movie.

In fact, Luigi is actively the one singing praises towards Mario, he knows that his brother dreams big and has a big heart, he knows his brother is amazing and he loves him for that.

Does he have low self esteem? Absolutely. But there is absolutely not a single bit of jealousy/envy towards Mario, Luigi loves and adores him far too much to ever be jealous and angry at Mario, someone who means the absolute world to him.

Oh don't you get me started.

Too late, I’ve gotten started. YOU ARE SO RIGHT. The movie did to theories that Luigi's “bitter and jealous” what it did to theories that Mario’s an antisocial asshat.

There are two things I can point to that are to blame for the theories that Luigi is bitter and jealous:

The description of his Negative Zone final smash from Super Smash Bros. Brawl:

"Luigi's final smash. As exotic music plays, he performs a dance befitting a sorcerous incantation. A barrier envelopes him, negatively impacting all in his area. Random effects include getting launched, sleeping, moving in slow motion, tripping, fainting, and losing attack power. This technique is a reflection of the dark side he embraced in his brother's shadow."

2. His characterization in Paper Mario

But there’s like… almost 40 years of games to glean from. You can literally pick and choose whatever you want to form any sort of theory (like a certain internet man did when arguing that Mario is an animal abusing sociopath). But 99% of the games show about as much evidence that Luigi is bitter as they do that Mario is a bad person– none at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.

As for Paper Mario, it's the only time Luigi is directly characterized as envious... NOT jealous. He still loves his brother and sees him as worthy of the praise he gets, but he feels bad being stuck at home, and desperately wants to be brought along for the adventure– to have his opportunity in the limelight. But Paper Mario is kind of its own thing, established to be a separate universe from the mainline Mario games. In the Super Mario Brothers RPGs– which delve deeper into the bros character while remaining more aligned with the classic "canon"– the dynamic is quite the opposite! Mario dives headfirst into danger while Luigi desperately avoids it unless there is no other choice. In Super Mario Brothers Superstar Saga he tries his darndest to not be taken along for the adventure, confident that his brother can handle the task.

But one consistent across the Mario games is Luigi being the underdog of all underdogs; unlucky and clumsy, the butt of the joke, and constantly undermined. Naturally this causes people to get defensive of him– get angry for him, and project their feelings onto the character himself.

But tHEN WE HAVE THE MOVIE!!!!

Nintendo is given a chance to craft Mario and Luigi into fully fleshed-out characters with motivations and backstories, not just plucky videogame personalities for people to project themselves into, and boy oh BOY did they knock it out of the park.

While Mario is still a headstrong hero with a never-say-die attitude and a heart of gold, everything he does is for his brother. Mario has insecurities about feeling small and wants to prove himself to his father, but in the end his love for Luigi is his main motivator. Mario can handle being threatened, made fun of, and told he’s crazy, but if you want to truly hurt him, tell him his actions are hurting his brother. Try hurting Luigi directly, and Mario will tear you a new one.

In return, everything Luigi does is for Mario! Lu’s not the willful ball of determination and gusto that his brother is– he has always been nervous, softhearted, and sensitive, which is why he lets his brother lead the way. Luigi’s not living in Mario’s shadow, he’s thriving off of his confidence! He recognizes Mario as his best friend and greatest source of strength, and will follow him absolutely anywhere.

There is no sense of Mario being treated like the beloved star of the show while Luigi gets the short end of the stick. They are both downtrodden, both learning, and both dependent on each other. It's not just Super Mario, it's the Super Mario Brothers, who equally inspire each other to be the best version of themselves.