#and it always comes back. i cant be myself because of the topic. it always comes back.

[todayisafridaynight]

plane scene is so funny cause why is mine a sleeper agent that wakes up whenever daigo is mentioned

can’t wait to see it in dragon engine :3

mine has been the winner for Funniest Character Imaginable for 15 consecutive years and i have yet to see anyone come close i fear

[chiisana-lion]

hm

[calpalsworld]

I really want to find some way to fix the problem but that desire is my compulsion (?) and it never actually fixes the problem. I tell myself to drop it and focus on other things like my art, but I just wish I could fix it now. The only way I can fix it is through ignoring it. And that will take time. (but also it feels unsafe to ignore it, because i feel like it is a real issue even though its probably not a real issue).

[crushedsweets]

What if Toby was the older sibling instead of Lyra....

And he's tryna get money for a apartment so they both can move out but then the crash happens.... -💀

anon do you understand what this just did to me. CW for grief and briefly implied abuse

i just got off of work n its getting late so its pretty messy and incoherent and mostly just me thinking to myself . . . also i end up talking about normal/younger brother toby for half of this anyway cuz no self control or direction.

i imagine younger brother toby already feels a ton of guilt from the crash. i cant remember if this was canon, but i HC he blames himself for a ton of reasons. she was driving him home from a doctor appointment, he thinks slendy mightve been involved cuz of him, he just cant remember if maybe he had a tic and thats what startled her, if it all comes down to him, if he just asked mom to pick him up instead, if he got a damn bus, anything else

so the idea that he's older. HE'S THE ONE DRIVING COME ONNN. he's driving her to school or something. man.

obviously tobys a protective person, but i imagine it comes tenfold towards a little sister. and it would fucking KILL him that 1. he couldnt always protect her at home because he was trying to work enough to get them out of there 2. his own driving is what took her life.

this is half on topic to your ask but. in my AU, around age 13 toby started being a menace and incredibly unfairly cruel to lyra (needless insults, taking her stuff, arguing with her) because he had so much pent up rage. and lyra always tried to give back kindness, and eventually (a yr or so later) toby calmed down and got close with her again .

so. realistically, if toby were older, he'd still have an asshole phase. but i like to think its more in the like. "leave me the fuck alone" way rather than trying to have some power. and he'd eventually get over it and realize he's gotta pull it together for her because she's even more scared and powerless than him and it sucks and she needs someone to be there for her .

however, i think after her death, the guilt he'd feel from even having that sorta asshole phase with her would EAT HIM ALIVE.

i dunno. this entire dynamic hurts my soul. please give the rogers siblings joy for once.

[volturiprincess]

Rain

Demetri Volturi x human mate reader

Summary: Reader gets overwhelmed with stress and he's there to support her Warnings: mentions of an anxiety attack, but mostly fluff A/N: Omg someone stop me😁, another one-shot post?? I had to write this because as I was taking my breaks I would work on this, its not proofread but the idea of Demetri calling the reader Spanish nicknames is a must have but throw rainy weather into the topic and muah *chefs kiss*. Enjoy and there will be a second A/N in the end. A little translation for my non-Spanish speakers: Mi cariño: dear or darling Mi vida: My life Princessa: princess Mi amado hermoso: My beautiful lover

(I cant believe it took me a while to write a Demetri one-shot)

I burst through our shared room in a panic state and I saw my lovely mate on his special chair. Before I could even react he was already wrapping his arms around me and cuddling me into his chest. I felt the build up tears I was holding back cascade down my cheeks. Demetri was rubbing my back in comfort and I heard him mumble

“Mi cariño, let it all out, I know you need this”

I sure did need this, all of today I was working on a project for a class and I ended up deleting about half of it and couldn't recover it at all. I always threw my computer out the window but instead I stared at the blank page that was staring back at me with what I could assume was mockery. I did manage to remember a good amount of what I had done and it's back to how it is, but I spent a while in a state of shock and denial.

Suddenly I felt myself shaking physically, my heart increase in palpitation and worst of all I could feel my breath becoming shorter. Demetri picked up right away that I was dealing with an anxiety attack and he guided me toward the balcony to the fresh air and the light rain. 

“Mi vida, look its raining, you love the rain, hey look at how pretty it looks”

I turn my head to be able to face the scenery instead of his very well built chest to see how soft and calming it is currently. I told Demetri before that I love the rain, it's my personal safe haven other than his arms. I felt my trembling and shaking diminished slightly, my heart rate started to slow down to a more reasonable way but my breathing was still a problem.

I felt him tilt my head up so I was looking at him and my breath for a minute hitch, he looked breathtaking right now. There were small droplets of rain running down his face which caused his hair to stick to his forehead and his eyes were full of adoration. He looked beautiful at that moment, well he always looks beautiful, I heard him one time arguing with Felix and he ended the conversation with “Dont hate me because im beautiful”. 

I smiled at the memory and soon enough he had a look of curiosity with a matching smile

“What's got you smiling like that princessa?”

“I was just think about your statement to end an argument with Felix, the don't hate because i'm beautiful”

His laughter filled the gloomy atmosphere that the rain created, his laugh sounding like music to my ears. One of his hands started to caress my cheek gently, his coldness immediately sending a small shiver down my spine but also somehow started to steady my breathing.

“Look at you princessa, your doing so good in breathing, such a good girl”

I blush at the praise which he never fails to miss, he knows what praises from him does to me, many thoughts come to mind but I push them away for now since I am still recovering from the earlier events.

“Do you want to talk about it/”

“My computer decided to throw me a whole 360 today”

“A whole 360? Im sorry cariño, but you need to explain that to me”

I giggled at his dumbfounded look, it's always fun to be able to still catch a vampire as old as him off guard with my modern language “Right forgot your like a million years old, I was working on a project today for one of my classes on my computer and I accidentally deleted like half of it but like I barely started it so it was no big deal because I remember what I had so far but it was just so frustrating you know”

He continued to caress my cheek as he nods along to my explanation 

“And it just so stressful in thinking I have so much to do still before this week ends and I feel like I have done what I needed to do but its not enough still and and—”

He placed his finger on my lips to silence me and I tiled my head to the side from curiosity, this is new. His signature smirk spread onto his face at my reaction

“Sorry love, but you started to spiral into chaos and as much as adore to hear you ramble, I started to feel stress myself from your stress”

I looked down in embarrassment but he tilted my head up once again 

“Hey don't be embarrassed cara, it's good for you to talk about what stresses you out, better out and in you know?”

“Your right metri”

“Now care to have a dance with me in the rain then?”

Whining at his request, even if that has secretly been a dream of mine to do “Demi you know i'm not even a good dancer, heck I don't even know how to”

“But that's the fun part princessa, I can teach you and we will be dancing in your favorite type of weather”

“Fair point”

As the rain intensified slightly, he guided my moves with such elegance that I almost felt like I myself am an expert to begin with. The rain at that moment was not a bother, my main focus was my casanova of a vampire that I call mi amado hermoso.

A/N: You know I don't know why I haven't added any Spanish nicknames to my writings, but I will in future (I feel like Demetri would just know all of the most romantic languages). I know I mentioned this in my Alec one-shot but I am working on a Caius one, its a work in progress indeed maybe in the end of this week I might have part one done, who knows?

[prettyinpurplelights]

kylian mbappe headcanons on what it would be like to date him?

Dating Kylian

(speaking from first hand experience of course 🤭) (Also i literally cant help myself i had to do a “how did you start dating”)

You meet Kylian at your distant cousin’s wedding, you weren’t even supposed to be there, but your mum had come down with something last minute and forced you to attend in her place

You’re at the bar at the reception with a caramel apple martini mocktail planning your escape when a handsome guy comes up to the bar orders the exact same drink

“I think you’re the first guy today to order that.” You say as he’s about to leave

He turns to you with a raised eyebrow

god he’s so handsome

“Not a dark liquor type of guy?” You ask

“Ew” He scrunches his face. “Definitely not, I like sweet things.”

“Ditto.” You raise your glass at him, nodding

And with that interaction, you find yourself in his car 30 minutes later headed back to the city, which is a whole 3 hour drive

He’d also been looking for an excuse to leave so he offered you a ride

You didn’t know this man or why he was being so generous but you were so desperate to get out, you hated weddings, especially when you know almost no one, so you took him up on it

Off topic: Mbappe driving…🧎‍♀️

You figure out who he was 2 hours into the drive when “Ramenez a la coupe de la maison” blares out through the speaker and you gasp so loudly when you realise he laughs

“My brother is going to lose his SHIT when he finds out THEE Mbappe drove me home.”

“Give me your phone.” He says when you finally reach your apartment. He punches his number into it

“Proof for your brother.” He winks, and suddenly you feel shy under his gaze

Fast forward to 4 days later and Mbappe is definitely sure you’re ghosting him

He’s venting to Neymar who just laughs at him because finally Kylian couldn’t bag a chick he wanted and Achraf being the voice of reason saying perhaps you were busy

It’s not for another week until he gets a text from you

“It’s Y/N’s brother. Prove you’re Mbappe and call her.”

He wastes no time ringing and the first thing he sees is you screaming at your brother to give the phone back

“Holy shit Y/N, you weren’t lying.” Your brother says

“You owe me 20 euros, dickhead.” Your face comes into view and you’re flushed and looking frustrated

“Hi.” You say to him. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Kylian laughs. “I’m glad your brother called, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Oh.” You blush

2 weeks later you’re going on your first date and for some reason Kylian is nervous

Kylian is confident, he knows what he wants and how to get it, never sweaty, never shy, never nervous but for some reason he wanted to impress you so much he works himself up over it

He picks you up with a bouquet of roses in his sweaty hand and you greet him with a kiss on the cheek which drives him slightly insane

Your date goes very well and you have another, and another and before you know it you’re his girlfriend

OKAY NOW TO THE DATING AKSHJSKSJS SORRY

KYLIAN IS A GOLDEN RETRIEVER/SUNSHINE BOYFRIEND AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL (my king of aeygo 🫶🏿)

Whenever you hang out at his or your place he’s basically on your leg like a koala

You can’t leave or enter the room without giving him a kiss first or he’ll pout and whine until you do

He absolutely loves cuddling, he’s the big spoon always (Alexa play cuffing season by sza)

Hugs from behind >>> he’ll just randomly wrap his arms around your waist and place his chin in the crook of your neck or pepper kisses across your neck instead

He also likes lying his head on your lap so you can give him head massages, he’s loves them a lot

Kylian spoils you way too much

“Hey babe remember that necklace we saw last week in the window you said you liked”

“Kylian that was just a passing comment please don’t tell me you-“

And he always presents the gifts with the cutest smile on his face, both his dimples shining so you can’t be mad at him

He knows you can’t be mad at him when he smiles like that and you know he won’t return anything you ask him to

He’s even worse on your birthday and valentine’s

You absolutely don’t know how he rents out the entire louvre for your first valentine’s together but he somehow does

“Baby, I’m Kylian Mbappe.”

Cocky little shit.

It’s the best date you’ve ever had, a candlelit picnic set up on the floor of the museum

You both hate fancy dinners however so your regular dates are always fun things like amusement parks, or roller skating, visiting new cities when he has the time and arcades

He’s a TERRIBLE loser btw kylian absolutely does not like to lose grumpy boy

You kicked his ass at fifa once and he gave you the silent treatment for a few hours

It never lasts longer than that because he’s missing you then he’s all over you again

Kylian loves kissing you, ik that boy is a phenomenal kisser i know it

Horny as fuck too.

He cannot keep his hands to himself however hard he tries, especially in public when you’re trying to not look obvious

He’ll put his hand in your back pocket, he’ll pull you into an alley and kiss you senseless, he’ll whisper in your ear for absolutely no reason because he likes seeing you hot and bothered

Your relationship is still private so he makes sure he pays you a lot of attention behind closed doors

He always makes sure you’re pleased first, he loves the way you moan his name and the sounds you make

Your lucky day is anytime he scores a hatrick, he makes sure you reach at least 7 big O’s in honour of his jersey number

You in his jersey - drives him CRAZY

You wearing his clothes in general, his favourite thing to see, especially first thing in the morning

You don’t argue a lot, but it happens, and you’re both stubborn af

He’s always the first to apologise though, especially if it’s when he’s come from a bad game or training session and that’s what causes the argument

As mentioned, Kylian doesn’t take loses very well, and sometimes he takes it out on you, but he doesn’t mean to

You do your best to be there for him in those times

There was a particularly bad argument because of a tabloid post and you went 4 days without a word to each other and he thought he was going to die

The make up sex is- *call drops*

He always holds you extra tight after

Your family absolutely love him, your mum especially

“You and Kylian are coming over this weekend? Is his favourite food still _____? I must go shopping.”

He always gifts your brother tickets to his games, you’ve gone a couple of times together and Kylian will always look up in the stands for you with a smile

Of course no one knows who he’s looking for

Until they do

The day your relationship is leaked was probably the worst day of your life, you had to take a few days off work because the paps wouldn’t leave you alone it was an absolute nightmare

Kylian was there for you the whole time, assuring you, loving you, making sure you knew he wasn’t going anywhere

Once the media moved onto someone else, the relief of not having to hide anymore felt great

Especially for Kylian because he could now hold you hand and kiss you wherever he wanted, which he made sure he definitely did

He’s not possessive but he’s absolutely jealous, he knows you’re stunning and people look at you whenever you’re out

Makes a point of PDA when he notices someone staring

“Kyky they’re probably staring at you, not me.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

Now you’re in public relationship, you can sit with the other wags at his games so he know exactly where to find you when he wants to dedicate a goal to you

Champions league games and international friendlies are the worst when he had to travel and you can’t always go with him

He’d always call you before the game, he claims you’re his “porte bonheur” (good luck charm) or something of the sort

He comes straight to your apartment from the airport every time

His favourite days are lazy mornings with you when he doesn’t have training

He likes to cook for you sometimes, but he mostly steers clear of the kitchen

Especially after the time he almost burnt it down trying to make tacos

Also boy can he eat

You’re both big foodies, you have a spontaneous date night every week where you pick random restaurants or food truck places to try out

You’re sat on a bench at 11pm, 6 months into the two of you dating, with mouthfuls of food from a place you’d seen on tiktok when he asks you to move him with him

You’re hesitant at first because you do enjoy having your own space but you agree to it, you were over there a lot anyways, would be easier

And he said you can convert one of the spare bedrooms into your own safe space

Kylian is a huge romantic, corny too so he’ll leave little notes around the house for you

“You’re the straw to my berry” you find this in the fruit bowl

“You’re so sweet, I get a toothache just looking at you.” this was on the mirror above your bathroom sink

Stupid nicknames

“Kyks if you call me “your little avocado” or “your cheeky cotton bud” one more time, I’m calling you Donatello next time we have sex.”

He sticks to ma cherie or mon amour from then on

Living together means domestic things like cooking together and negatives like Kylian stealing your skin care products

And he absolutely has to do a face mask also everytime you do one

“Kylian this shit isn’t cheap keep your hands off!”

Next time you open your bathroom cabinet, there’s 6 of every product with a note: “I know something else that would be great for your skin, I’ll show you tonight.”

You’re very glad that night Kylian’s apartment is sound proof

Movie marathons together

Marvel and Disney especially, he’s team Iron Man 👎🏿

You absolutely cannot stand horror movies, but he loves them, you think it’s mostly because you always end up in his arms with your face in his neck to avoid watching them

Becoming really close with the other wags, especially Achraf’s wife Hiba, she becomes like a sister to you

Joking Kylian and Achraf were going to leave the two of you for each other

You and Kylian going to support Ethan at his games and babysitting his neice and nephew, he loves seeing you with him

So much so he asks you one night how you feel about having kids with him

“NOW??”

“Of course not now Y/N. Just at some point.”

You say yes

So he proposes 2 months later, he doesn’t care you’re young or have only been dating 15 months, he loves you and can’t see himself with anyone else

You say yes

2 years after your wedding you welcome your first child together, a baby girl the spitting image of Kylian and he’s never felt so content with life and how everything has turned out for him

——-

I hope this is okay 😭 I’m terrible with headcanons bc i always end up wanting to just write a fully fledged fic instead 😵‍💫

[rontra]

My hand never seems to actually translate the ideas that are spinning up in my brain. how do you get it all out? any advice? just draw more? do i need to use more references? your art is just so beatiful you are one of my top inspos.

ah first of all thank you very much! i'm honored! 😳

(long post incoming lol)

to answer the question though, i don't think i sufficiently translate what's in my mind and i frequently let myself down! but it's important not to let that Stop you. i think overall it's sort of multifaceted and different for everyone--theres no single answer i can give you that will guaranteed work for you--but for me personally i think it mainly comes down to Derangement, DISCRETION!!, Discipline, & Diet

before i say anything more though it's important also to remember that making visual art (in our case drawings/comics) is training like 2 or 3 separate skills (depending on how you divide them). the HAND represents your current drawing ability & technique; what your drawing hand is physically able to produce when you set pen to paper. the BRAIN is the creative engine that cooks up your ideas and thinks of ways to assemble them. and the EYE represents your ability to recognize what art looks like and how it "should" look. when your brain is thinking of ideas and your hand can't capture them, that is not because you're "bad" at it: it means your eye skill is currently outpacing your hand skill. your ability to discern art, to see things like proportions and anatomy and composition and whatever else is going on, is currently stronger than your ability to draw them yourself. this is not a flaw. this is not a flaw. this is not a flaw!!!! but it does mean your hands' ability to capture what your brain has imagined will let your eyes down until your hands catch up. once they do--by studying, practicing your technique, using references, and gaining confidence--your eye skill will then begin to outpace it again. this cycle, the dance between the two skills, is why you might sometimes feel yourself suddenly "getting good" at art, then just as suddenly plateauing or "getting worse"; you are training different parts of what makes art happen. there is nothing wrong with this. you are improving even when it doesnt feel like it--even when it feels like THE LITERAL OPPOSITE is happening. because you're improving different skills!

(and of course as your eye skill develops you will look back at previous stages of development and go "HOW COULD I NOT SEE HOW BAD THIS LOOKS!"--and yeah. that's the thing; you probably, rather literally, couldn't see it! you only think it looks bad now because you've improved your "eye" skill. you should try to be proud of that feeling, even though it also likely sucks and is embarrassing to you at the same time. there's posts, even recent ones, that i go "i cant believe i thought that looked OK enough to post PUBLICLY" and it is embarrassing for me! but all it means is that i'm better at what i do now...so it doesn't get me down too badly. you gotta shrug that stuff off.)

with that out of the way, my four evil councilmen are as follows:

DERANGEMENT: find something you are not normal about. this can be anything (whether it's a topic that interests you, The Character, a medium, a damn color palette...anything!), as long as it captures your mind and motivates you to create. your brain should be spinning up ideas like crazy and your only choice is to draw them. because once you have Derangement the only thing that feels worse than Making Something Subpar is sitting around Not Making Anything At All. you should be interested in what you draw. you should ideally love it, even if you don't love your own art yet. once you know what motivates you, let that simmer until you have no choice but to draw even if you're scared it'll turn out bad. and hey--there will probably (unless you become some kind of Art God) always be parts you think should've turned out better in some way, however:

DISCRETION!!: realistically nobody NEEDS to know what parts of a piece you're unhappy with. it's valuable to have friends/art partners/mentors/whatever that you can comfortably check in with and go "i dont like [part], what do you think" and get feedback, but that's for YOU. for the audience at large, maybe people will notice, maybe they won't, but as an artist you are constantly growing and you will very likely be constantly looking back at past pieces (even just days or hours old sometimes) and going "what the hell was i thinking? how did i not see [error/s], or why didn't i go for [different idea/finish/color palette/etc]?". getting hung up on this will probably either light a fire under you or demotivate you completely depending on your particular brain soup. for me it can go either way depending on where i'm at in my current hand/eye development phase. but i try not to fixate on it. it's enough to observe it and take notes for next time. every drawing is part of your growth and you have to make wonky art in order to occasionally make something that satisfies your eyes. in the meantime, don't beat yourself up or put yourself down. you are gaining experience and technical know-how, and spotting things you'd like to work on for next time; especially if you're sharing this work and other people are telling you they like what you made, there's no need to undercut this by dwelling on the rough parts so much that you can't enjoy it. the important thing is that you made it.

DISCIPLINE: you made it, it's done, now make something new. do it again from the top! you're right: Drawing A Lot is absolutely the key to Drawing Better. it is also usually an evil curse that reveals How Bad You Drew 3 Months Ago. but you have no choice, if you want to hone your skills and improve the Brain Image -> Art Image translation. you have to do it even when it sucks. do it bored, do it scared, but you have to do it or you'll never get anywhere. when improving yourself, you have to draw a lot to see change, and this is the part that sucks, right? feeling like you're not really getting anywhere or like you'll never capture what's in your mind. you can do studies where you collect references and focus in on ironing out something that's bothering you (such as, like, specific objects, perspectives, clothing details, anatomy pieces, light and shadow, etc etc); this can help crack the malaise for sure... learning how to use references is good, as well as whatever tools are available to you (in your medium/software). How To Do This is sort of a different post, but it does help (and sometimes annoyingly so; there's been rare but very annoying moments in my career where i will be simply looking at a picture and idly make an observation that cracks a style/anatomy problem i've had for Years and im always like COME ON!!! hahaha--but yes looking at references and studying them "like an artist" definitely helps, even when it's not as miraculous as that). overall work smarter and nail down the stuff you're unsure about, then incorporate what you've learned into your art style until it looks a way you like. you will likely have to just grind it out sometimes, and often this grind will not feel particularly fun. but you can Dog Medication Salami Pocket yourself into it if you're drawing something you're sufficiently Deranged about. <- this is what diesel is always doing with those women (LOL)

also, Output. you do have to Be Making Stuff in order to finish stuff. for example for comic projects like adastra or failteacher au, if i can draw ~1 page a day, the update will be complete in no time. but i have to draw that 1 page every day to make it happen, even if i feel off or lack confidence about what i'm making. of course i'm not saying you shouldn't take breaks; you NEED to take breaks, set your goals to your own level, and listen to yourself (and don't get some kind of wrist problem like me please). but the point im trying to make is that if you can make yourself sit down and do it even though you're scared it'll turn out bad, (or, hell, even if this part of your project is Simply Boring), then you can do it anytime. this is important too. but you will probably still sometimes feel stuck if you try to work and grind all the time.

DIET: regularly, but especially when you're stuck in a rut, step away from your craft and enrich your diet. you have to play just as much as you have to work. for example, i am always ALWAYS reading comics. at any given time i probably have 1-4 (sometimes more) tabs open of different comics i am simultaneously reading!!!! i read webcomics, webtoons, manga, DC--any demographic or genre, i take random recs from people and just go read them. whatever medium you're in, you have to take in what other people are doing with it, you have to let them teach and inspire you. you have to branch out and look at genres and styles you usually don't. unwind and look at comics, at illustrations, at design, at animation, at video games. enjoy them as an audience, but look at them like an artist too. when you like something, pause and examine (as both an artist and audience) why you like it. (vice versa: if you don't like something, you can try to figure out why that is!) let other people's ideas and habits flow over you. you have to relax and enrich your mind, to refresh your creativity and motivation. this is crucial. when you come back, you'll feel refreshed and ready to go, and your big brain cauldron of tools + ideas + techniques will be all shiny and bubbling. it's just as important to experience art as it is to make it. i really can't stress that enough!!!!

i talk about comics specifically here because right now obviously i am making a lot of comics (adastra, failteachers). i often feel like i get stuck in boring page layouts and can't think of how to panel something. and honestly sometimes a basic layout that just Gets Through The Scene is simply sufficient (after all, not everything has to be a Groundbreaking New Masterpiece; we would all get fatigued by that!)--or otherwise a "boring layout" is just what i have to put down in order to put down anything at all. but in both cases, reading comics and taking in what people are doing with their layouts makes me feel refreshed and i can return to my own work all rested and bright-eyed. everything we read and watch and take in is added to our "mental library" for the brain to reference when it's time to create something. it is just as enriching and important to experience someone else's art and perspective, and to enjoy a diverse range of impressions. you are always learning and observing, so try to pay attention--it's feeding your brain... :j

(and now, hopefully, your enriched Diet has added fertilizer for your Derangement, and the entire council can take their turn again from the top of the order. HDFHBJFS)

hmm...

well, overall, like i said at the top, there's no One Solution or really Single Piece Of Advice i can offer you. but i hope maybe you got something out of it anyway. everyone's a bit different and everyone's ideal workflow and journey is different too. but don't give up, keep at it, and...GOOD LUCK!!! 🫡🫡🫡

& always remember: in the end, making something YOU like, that looks good to YOU and fulfills YOUR goals, is more important than making something "perfect" (if such a thing even exists). as long as YOU'RE enjoying making your art (yes, even when making the art is hell and sucks!), that's all that matters. 🤝

[equallyshaw]

So I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love | trevor zegras.

based off olivia rodrigo's song- scared of my guitar!

trevor x singer nameless oc!

not too sure if i wanna do gif's or pictures like that above..trying something new out (:

word count: 2.3k+

warnings: tbh, she's toxic...pls dont be like her.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

◦

Perfect, easy, so good to me So why's there a pit in my gut in the shape of you? Distract myself, say it's somethin' else Maybe I'm just overwhelmed, maybe I'm confused

◦

for around 11 months it was pure bliss...the two of them everywhere and anywhere. onlookers looked on with smiles and hushed whispers about how 'in love' they were. the two of them moved quickly in their relationship, but nobody found anything weird with it based on how their friends watched them and how they spoke about one another in the media when asked. trevor loved bringing home flowers whenever he came back from a roadie, or just because he felt like it. he showered her with gifts from the get-go as her own life was beginning to fill with riches, as her music career took off.

but once the 1 year mark was coming closer and closer, she began to feel a sense of dread. a sense of anxiety and fear, she hadn't had before. whenever she heard his name in passing or whenever somebody asked her about him, she'd freeze and stutter; not sure what to exactly say. or what was weirder, was that she spent more and more time at her apartment in la and not at his newport house...claiming that the record label was hounding her for an album and she was working day and night, like a dog. she did whatever she could in order to not think about him may it be hanging with friends, driving up and down the coast to san diego to visit family and taking spur of the moment trips with her friends. and when people asked her what was wrong or what she was thinking about, she'd always say 'work' and every white lie that came with that topic.

but when she see's trevor sporadically, she understands why she fell in love with him in the first place. he's charming, relentlessly nerdy, incredibly kind and respectful; all of which she adores. and while basking in that feeling for a bit of time, she feels guilty about how her feelings change when she's not with him. she then chalks it up to work, and how much pressure the label is giving her. so maybe just maybe, she'll stick it out with trevor.

◦

Barely sleep when you sleep next to me

But I keep thinkin' I'll find a cure

I say that I'm fine, I tell you all the time

I've never felt so happy and sure

◦

shortly after their one year, as she stays with trevor about once or twice a week, she can't help but toss and turn all night. claiming she's just stressed and overly exhausted, and he buys it all. he buys all her, "I've never been happier" or "I've never felt so sure about something in my entire life". he buys the, "once im done with the album ill move in with you." too, yet she knows they wont last. that sickening and dreadful feeling that keeps her up at night.

she goes to all of these lengths just to keep her heart from collapsing and her conscious from crumbling above her, and yet she knows right from wrong. she know's that the one that would be hurt the most is him.

◦

But I'm so scared of my guitar'

Cause it cuts right through to the heart

Yeah, it knows me too well so I got no excuse

I can't lie to it the same way that I lie to you

◦

but then when she sits down to write and come up with the chords for a song, she cant help but cry. everything becoming too much for her, her closest friends and producer seeing right through her. her music speaking the words, she can't help but think but not say. she knows that if she lies in a song, she'd be betraying her heart and her soul. her music being her lifelong love and escape, would truly affect her relationship with it.

◦

So I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love

◦

around a year and five months, she stopped writing. she stopped playing her guitar until the early morning hours. she stopped recording, citing that she was dealing with some personal issue. once the acknowledgment of 'oh shit, i need to break things off- soon' hit her mind one day during a writing session, she knew she couldn't write or sing until she did just that. and so she made her way down the coast to newport to do just that, but when she walked inside she saw a doe-eyed and blissful trevor in her midst. she crumbled right then and there, allowing him to make their way to the bedroom. she laid in his arms, not being able to fall asleep once again; and reminding herself that she loved trevor .. or at least needed to remind herself more. was it though? at least on her part?

◦

I was ravin', no boy like you I had the nerve to just stop stringin' you all along But I'm not half as decent as you I'd rather be tied to someone, even if they're wrong

◦

trevor was the guy, she thought when they first met. she thought that they were end game and would go to the absolute ends of the galaxy to believe that, to show and make people believe it too. and after some point, she felt guilty about stringing him along and talking about their future plans together. another morning she stopped by abruptly on her way from san diego, she knew she had to break things off with him. yet when she arrived at his place, she found him making breakfast and the brightest smile she hadn't seen in awhile. he went along and continued with his breakfast but not before making a cup of coffee for her and a extra serving of his breakfast for her. before leading her over to the dining room table and held her hand as they ate. guilt crept up her spine as she looked at him, talking about something that had happened on a road trip and she felt a pang in her heart. she was a coward. rather than break the band aid and say what she'd wanted to say for months now...she let him continue to speak.

he was a better person than she was, she thought. he would have ended things a long time ago if he'd felt what she'd felt or thought. he wouldn't have continued to string her along. he was a good person like that. but her? she was half the person he was, he was a good person with good intentions. the culprit?

she didn't want to be alone.

◦

I make excuses, my friends know the truth is I'm not as alright as I claim I say that I'm fine, I tell them all the time As they watch all the life fade away

◦

the life was draining from her and her friends watched as it did. she was hiding herself away in her los angeles apartment, shortly after she stopped writing. they were all rightfully concerned with her mental health and wouldn't take the 'im fine's!" she hurled at them time and time again. they even reached out to trevor and even he could not get her to come out of her shell. though, he never got the full story of why she was like that. he dropped around unannounced before and after practice, sometimes staying the night but most times slipping out after she'd fallen asleep. but not without a soft kiss to her temple, and tiptoeing out. his family and friends grew concerned when he opted to stay in newport for the offseason. by the offseason, she'd gone back into the studio and pushed through. the studio eating up whatever she had written, and loved it all.

◦

I pretend that it's love, love

'Cause what if I never find anything better? The doubt always creeps through my mind So we'll stay together 'cause how could I ever Trade somethin' that's good for what's right?

◦

with no end in sight, she continued to push through with the relationship, trying to get back to how things were before when she was without a doubt, happy and in love. when trevor does finally leave the sunshine state to go visit family and friends, she stays up thinking about her and trevor's future. would she find anybody better than him? would she find the love that they shared early in their relationship? would she find somebody almost as arrogantly confident? somebody with an infinite passion for what they do? their (affectionately) dumb friends who adored her? and somebody with a zest for life? her journals filled to the brim that summer with what had been eating her up inside.

when trevor comes back right before the season begins, he take's her out to malibu one early morning before the sunrise. she was groggy and tired from the night before, and so when she was awoken abruptly she groaned; trying to desperately to go back to bed. trevor said that he wanted to go for a sunrise and she hummed, thinking he'd go by himself. but instead, he tickled her enough to wake her up and she dreaded getting out of bed. they drove up to malibu that September 2nd, and held one another as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. he bit the inside of his cheek, body filled with nerves and anxiety. he whispered her name to begin with, and in the most trevor and most un trevor way, he proposed. she turned around to see him with tears in his eyes and visible anxiety washed over his features. she smiled softly feeling the inside of her scream to say no and beg her to leave the life she grown used to the past mere months. her smile grew wider and faker, as she said yes. trevor had gotten her dream ring from new york, and she gushed as he pulled it out. tears swelled her eyes as she felt her heart tug at the effort he'd made for her. she was going to show him the same effort as well, even if it hurt her to no end.

◦

her record label demanded an ep of some new songs they knew she undoubtedly had written after she got engaged. her album release was a massive success, going #1 and platinum in many countries. her career was reaching new heights and she was engaged? she was the it girl everybody wanted to be. yet she felt so very far from it, but kept that signature smile on at all times.

she felt herself buy into the idea of marrying trevor when she saw how excited her family was when they showed up to a private dinner the very evening of her album released. they gushed and gushed over the ring and endless possibilities her and trevor could have together. she saw how good both of their families bonded and got along with one another. she could feel the pride and gratitude that oozed off of trevor that night. he loved - no absolutely adored this life the universe had bespoked upon him. the singer was just another addition. he thought he had everything before they met, but when he saw her get absolutely hammered at a party they were both invited to; he was enamored. the grace she carried herself with when dancing, talking, singing and most importantly; the love she oozed for her friends was intoxicating. he could not and never wanted to get enough of it.

the look he gave her that night was one she'd never, ever forget in this lifetime. it was how all girls wished to be looked at. the one that would spare nothing to make their partner happy. the one where you know they'd go to the ends of the earth for you and with you. it was as if she hung the moon and the stars for him.

who would pass that up?

◦

I let the thought in, it's already done

◦

she brought into the idea of going through with the wedding after the release party and found herself immersed in wedding planning. she found herself non stop traveling with trevor that summer, after a serious playoff run. she found herself thinking of their future together because lets be honest, it was there. and she couldn't help but get excited just a bit when trevor had said, that she was going to be most beautiful bride and future mom to ever grace this planet. she looked at him through the mirror and again that look, captivated and brought her in.

◦ But I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love Yeah, I lay in your arms and pretend it's enough

◦

their wedding was a dream. an absolute dream. hollywood and hockey royalty showed up and showed out. the wedding of all weddings. they danced the night away to taylor swift. then as a surprise, trevor and his groomesman shamelessly, did a group dance to one of her upbeat songs as she sat there blushing like a fool, covering her face in embarrassment. they spent the night basking in everybody's presence, the singer not having a second to spare a second thought about what was going to be coming in the next few months. she knew that the world and everybody in their lives would be asking about kids and what not. yet, she pushed that towards the back of her mind. she played the role of a loving and adoring newlywed. she smiled to the camera's as if there was no tomorrow. her friends actually believing that she was happy and that she had found her way back to trevor. and in a way, that was true. she felt stuck with no way out.

the couple retreated back to the ritz carlton new york hotel suite, with a bottle of very expensive champagne, thin slice pizza and new york cheesecake. after stuffing their faces in between making out, the two fell asleep. or at least trevor did. the singer looked up at the ceiling, wide awake and unable to sleep. she had played the part this long...what was another ten?

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

umm....sorry about that! part two is coming at some point because i wanna hurt myself even more lmao...

please like and reblog if you did and id love to hear your thoughts too!

tags: @cuttergauthier @zegrasbabyyy @hockeyboysarehot @slafgoalskybaby @sc0tters @sweetestdesire @jayda12 @starshine-hockey-girl @cellythefloshie

[lluvllimoo]

You could’ve just told me! Pt1

Hi this is my first fic so please be nice. Also English isn’t my first language so there might be mistakes.

My inspiration is @itzsana-kiddingmenow i love her fics so much. I always wanted to write i just didn’t have the motivation but here we go.

Lee!jisung

Ler!Lee Know

This is a tickle fic if its not something you’re interested in you can scroll 🤍

Jisung was in his room, thinking again. This was actually starting to happen quite often these days. Well, what was he thinking about? Well, Jisung was in a lee mood, and he was thinking about how to tell his members that. But he could never tell the members that because he thought they would judge him for that. I mean, could you blame him? He couldn’t even say the word out loud.

This went on for days. Jisung would go to practice,come home, eat, and then go to his room, staring at the ceiling for hours. He would make up tickling stories in his mind, but that would just make his mood worse. He also tried to read fics, and just as expected, it only made it worse for the poor little Lee.

While Jisung was busy staring at the ceiling once again, he didn’t notice a member coming into his room. When he realized someone was there, it was too late to cover up his thinking face. He was zoned out, and he probably had a frown on his face. He looked up and saw what his favorite Hyung Lee know. Lee Know was staring at him with a worried look.

“Jisungie whats wrong.”

“O-oh nothing hyung.”

He hated himself for stuttering.

“Come on Jisung im not a kid i can tell you are lying.”

“Tell me whats wrong Ji.”

Lee Know came closer to Jisung and sat next to him.

With that, Jisung couldn’t hold it anymore. Tears spilled out.

Jisung hated how he was crying about something so stupid.

“No baby whats wrong please don’t cry.”

“H-hyung”

He was looking into Lee Know’s eyes, which made it harder to tell him, but it was now or never. He knew he could trust Lee Know, but telling him about this topic was just hard for Jisung.

“Jisung you can tell me anything you know i would never judge you.”

How did he know?

Lee Know grabbed jisungs face and looked into his teary eyes.

“I-i.”

Jisung sighed.

“I hate how im crying about something so stupid i cant even believe myself.”

“You now what.”

“Lets pretend this never happened and you never saw me crying”

“No”

“You are going to tell me whats wrong”

“I can clearly tell this has been bothering you.”

“And no its not stupid”

“If you just tell me whats wrong you now i can help you”

Jisung took a deep breath

“W-well”

“D-do you know what a l-l.”

“L-.”

“I cant do it”

Jisung looked down at his feet.

“A lee?”

When he heard the he immediately looked at Lee know.

“H-how do you know that?”

“Ohhh sweet little Jisungie was this what you were trying to say baby hmm?~”

“W-well yes.”

Jisung looked back at his feet because could swear his face was red as a tomato.

Lee know garbbed Jisungs face and forced him to look at him. Lee know cooed at jisungs little red face.

“Awww is my baby flustered.~”

“Does my baby need me to take care of his little lee mood hmm.~”

Jisung hit his arm in a playful manner.

“Owww that hurt”

“Oh come on hyung i didn’t even hit hard.”

“I think i need to punish you for that.”

As he said this he wiggled his eyebrows while jisungs face turned into 50 shades of red.

Lee Know didn’t waste another second and pounced on Jisung. He took off his jacket and used that to tie Jisung arms to the headboard.

“Hmmm where should i tickle my baby?”

“Do you want to help your hyung out and tell me your most ticklish spot hm?~”

As he said that a sad expression appeared on Jisungs face.

“I-i actually don’t know”

“Wait what?”

“I’ve never been tickled before.”

“I don’t even know if im ticklish or not. All i now is every time i think of tickling i just want someone to tickle me.”

“Aww my poor baby probably suffered a lot.”

“Well im here to help you now.”

With that Lee Know slowly started to tickle Jisungs belly.

“Is this belly ticklish hmm.~”

Jisung giggled at the sensation. It felt weird but so good.

“Hyuhuhng dohont tehehease”

“You want me to go rougher?”

“P-please.”

Lee Know lifted Jisungs shirt up reveal his little bellybutton.

“Aww what a cute bellybutton.”

“Will you turn into a little giggle bug for me if i tickle you right here.~”

He sticked one of his finger in Jisungs bellybutton without any warnings.

“HyuHAHAHAHANG”

“Ooooohh i think i found a good spot.”

“Im not even moving it and ur already laughing your heart out.”

“I CAHAHAHNT HEHEHEHHEHELP IHIHIHIHTT.”

He tugged at his arms but nothing happened he couldn’t move them he was stuck.

“Trying to escape?”

“I already taught of this. You cant go anywhere baby.~”

Jisung knew he was fucked. I mean not really because he was enjoying it a little too much but he would never say that out loud.

Lee Know lifted Jisungs shirt a little more to reveal his ribs

“How about we try here.”

“Actually…”

“Ji do you know how many ribs you have?”

“N-no i don’t”

Lee Know slowly put his fingers on Hannies ribs started to count them.

“Onee.”

“Phhlheheahahse”

“Twooo”

“Ugh you’re not reacting like how i want you to react”

Lee Know put his hands on the lowest rib and started to tickle Jisung like crazy.

“OMHAHAGAGAGAG HAHHAHAHHAHAHA IHIHIHIH IHIHITHTS THOHOHO MUHUHUCH”

“There we go.There is my giggle bug”

“STAGAGHAHAHAHHAP”

Even tho Jisung begged for Lee Know to stop probably about 100 times he did not listen and he just kept on going rougher and rougher. Soon Hannies laughter became silent and that was a sign for Lee Know to stop and give Jisung a little breather. Jisung was panting hard trying to inhale air as much as possible.

“Did you enjoy it baby?”

“Should we continue? I feel like i haven’t gotten the spot yet.”

“Can we stop? Im tired. Can we continue this later?”

Lee Know giggled because Hannie looked so cute so tiny. Even tho Lee Know wanted to continue he did not want to make Jisung uncomfortable so he got up and started to untie the jacket.

“Of course we can continue another day Jisungie.”

After Lee Know untied his wrist he got up and grabbed a bottle of lotion to put on Jisungs wrist. All of that tugging made Jisungs wrists a little red. After putting on the lotion he layed down next to Jisung and snuggled him.

“You know if you just told me from the start i would have tickled you ever time you wanted but you made yourself suffer.”

“We would never judge you for anything.”

“Thank you hyung.”

“I-i”

“I-i love you”

“i love you too baby.”

I tried my best. I also wrote this on the plane my mom asked me who was i texting😭 I will try to write the second part but my lazy ass will probably take long.

[ttaibhse]

i need to start up running again i haven't been in ages and i feel shitty about it but i still just don't really want to. especially now it's getting colder lol i like running in cool weather but when it's actually cold not as much. i was getting so bored of it idrk why i guess because i was running out of new routes to do... i hate running along the road and the thought of adding more distance which basically would mean adding more time on the road or just mindless loops of the parks wasn't really motivating lol. and i felt like i stopped making progress. and then i got sick and the pain in my back/hips came back for a while. and to be honest i was/am just disappointed that i wasn't losing any weight at least not perceptibly and obviously i was lying when i said the goal of it wasn't to lose weight lol. like not the only goal i did/do also want to just be a fitter and more active person and not let my bones crumble into dust by middle age whatever but ultimately i want to lose weight and it just wasn't happening. even though i wasn't intentionally eating much more to make up for the extra activity but i probably was doing it without meaning to. like admittedly there were definitely times i would be like oh i can have a bit more i did a big run today. not all the time but enough i guess. i feel like shit i hate being this size & shape i miss being skinny and the more time passes with me not being skinny it gets harder to remember the negatives that came with it. like i look back now and i know i was always cold and exhausted and obsessed with food and my whole life revolved around it like i know all that but i looked so much better -_- my clothes looked nicer. if someone took a photo of me i only had to worry about hating my face not my body as well. or not as much at least lol i always hated it i guess. but omfg my face even looks worse now because its just doughy. i cant stand it. i cant believe how fucked up i look lol

i hate writing posts like this i sound so cookie cutter stereotypical ED girl. it's so so embarrassing i can't stop feeling like this at nearly 28. im 28 in like 10 days and the first time i remember consciously deciding to stop eating to lose weight i was 10 or 11. my mum still seems to have genuinely blocked out the memories of it like any of it even though we talked about it at several different points in time when i was a teenager and i said to her what was going on and she was so angry with me like furious with me. and then again when i was an adult and just said outright because i knew i had put on weight over lockdown and i knew she thought i had just lost control of myself because she said so to my sister

so i said to her like look i was only really thin in uni because i was in like a 1.5k calorie deficit every single day. there were days i would stand up at the end of a lecture and almost black out lol so i said all that maybe 3 or 4 years ago was the last time i brought it up icr but still if the topic of eating disorders or similar comes up she will say things like "i hope youve never felt that way" LMFAO like full sincerity i swear to fucking god i dont understand. but anyway its not a great feeling knowing she thinks im fat because i just dont take care of myself. even though it is true i suppose. and every time i see my granny she comments on my weight. so anyway all that to say that's how i know it's true and it's not just in my head

like i can acknowledge that back in the day when i was something like 55kg and still thought i was huge that was some kind of dysmorphia involved. but not any more and it's just kind of a blow because i had finally started accepting this idea that i wasn't as big as i thought and now i am it's like i don't know like going backwards. like a nightmare come true or something it's literally all the bad thoughts i would have about myself are true now. i am that fat or even worse because i think i've been deluding myself i think i'm actually now bigger than i think i am. and i am lazy and eat badly and it still feels like my options are total lack of control or the tightest rein possible. theres no good middle ground i dont know how people find a middle ground. how do you eat normally lol. ive only ever been thin when i was barely eating + walking miles and miles every day AND on testosterone. i tried to do eating normally and now im so huge and i dont know what to do like logically i know there are people out there who have got it right so why cant i get it right

[medicinal-doll]

Midnight perversion

Title: Midnight Perversion

Pairing: Werewolf!Henry! x reader

Words: 2K

Warning: Dub-con/Non-con, Hint at A/B/O,animal play,blood,guns,fear,p in v sex,teasing,mind-break,breeding kink

Summary: Somethings amiss with your boyfriend henry but you try not to let that ruin your wilderness retreat

A/N: Went A little crazy with the plot, And did not intend for him to be a werewolf when I started this..but I still had fun writing it!

*Please don't repost without permission If you use my writing as inspiration please ask first and credit me

.......

The rain pats against the front window like A broken metronome as the only sound in the car is the windshield wipers, and the low hum of the radio playing some obscure oldschool station. Your hands grip the wheel tighter because they've been threatening to slip off for the past hour. the reason for this is your boyfriend Henry's gaze fixed on you.

Henry's always been the sweetest boyfriend. you met when you got a flat tire on your way to leave town for A trip and he was the only one to help you "Need A hand darling?" He said in that sultry British accent and those words have always stuck with you ever since. When you accidentally cut yourself while cooking, when you cant reach something on a tall shelf, when your wifi keeps on crashing and you can't figure out why. There he is your big strong doting boyfriend to ask if you need his assistance.

But right now he's kind of scaring the shit out of you. and maybe you're overreacting but he's never looked at you this way before. the first time you looked at him was 40 minutes ago into the drive. With A smile on your face you innocently turned to ask him "Hey do you want Chinese or Mexican for din-..." you meet his eyes and halt your sentence dead in its tracks "Geez Hen why the serious look?"you say before pushing his chest playfully laughing nervously at the end hoping to lighten up the mood.

Nothing... not a word not a reaction. "Okay then...well I'll just assume you're in a mood then" that's the last thing you said, and up until now you can only feel his eyes on you and see his head facing towards you in your peripheral vision.

............

"Do you like dogs honey?"

Henry breaks the silence with his monotone voice. and you breathe out A heavy sigh at the normalcy and curse the times you told him to be quiet because you needed to focus. even though the conversation topic is a little random you're grateful nonetheless.

"Dogs are fine but I'm more of A cat person myself" "What about you babe?" You glance at him and you thought his face couldn't get any scarier. the expression of his eyes are equivalent to the likes of A dead fish. cold, unfeeling, and unmoving. His blue eyes you swear have changed color are A glowing hazel. but maybe it's just the street lights his eye bags are prominent despite him getting his full 8 hours of sleep. and his lips are pulled taut only opening and closing to utter a sentence before returning to their original stance.

"Cats, nasty selfish creatures. they hold no loyalty" he sneers "But dogs however are the epitome of loyalty, hopelessly devoted and caring to their owners with unconditional love"

"Uhm... that's really cool hen I didnt kno-".

"Did you know that if A dogs owner leaves while it's still a pup, and comes back when it's an elder. the dog will still recognize and love its owner....fascinating"

You dont respond back or even look at him you dont know what to say. you speed up the car hoping to reach your destination sooner you dont think henry would ever lay a hand on you but his behavior right now is quite unsettling

"You see honey, Me and dogs are more similar than you think" he places a firm hand on your thigh, and a light poking sensation surrounds the area of contact. but you brush it off not daring to look down.

"Henry you're kind of scaring me right now" "How about we talk about something more fun hm?" You say in a last ditch effort to save your sanity. henry withdraws his hand from your thigh and picks at his nails "Of course dear my apologies" And you detect a faint smile from the corner of your eye. Thank god your body language relaxes, ready for the change away from all the awkwardness hotboxing the car.

Henry let's out a small laugh then it fades A little to slowly "How about we discuss me popping your tire" your laugh that's a tad bit too loud fills the car "Henry..?"

"That day when you were heading out of town I slashed your tire"

The car stops and you pull the key out of the ignition. Your brain barely registering anything "What?..."

"Oh! Look honey we're here and just when our chat was starting to get good, what a shame" henry beams gleefully before hopping out of the car and popping the trunk "Cmon honey lighten up you've been waiting for this trip for weeks" he shouts to you while gathering your luggage"

Yeah, you have been waiting for this trip... just you, and henry. hundreds of miles away from town, and any civilization, alone in the wilderness with no service...alone with him...Maybe you should leave the trip destinations to someone with a brain.

You wipe your eyes and blank out the last hour from your mind, blaming it on you both being a little stir crazy and car sick "Hey! let me help you with that babe it's heavy" you say going to help your mountain of a boyfriend who could probably carry you and the luggage in one go.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You're at the campfire, beautiful glowing embers eminating off of it. and right across from you sits henry. he's eating the last of the hotdogs you brought "I guess we should've brought more food " you Joke as he downs the last bit in one bite smirking at you while he chews "Well..If we did run out.." "would you prefer being rotisseried or stewed" you go over and hit him lightly on the shoulder and he smiles and laughs at you.

"You know you really did scare me when we were in the car" you lean against his warm body grabbing his big hand holding it close to your lap "I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to scare you like that honest" he rests his head against yours "it's okay it kind of turned me on A little" you giggle drunk off the warmth of the fire and him "Oh really.." "Well then maybe I should tell you that the blue sweater you had on before you left would've been A better option" "it's a shame you changed it, would've been better suited for the wilderness"

You lean your head up looking at him quizzically "Okay.. How the hell do you know what I was going to wear?"

"Well it's my job to know you are my mate after all" and he mutters your first middle and last name under his breathe sarcastically, but he doesn't or shouldn't know your middle name you never told him....

Your body tenses up, and that chill from the car comes back all over again. and even the heat from the fire and henry combined can't stop you from feeling ice cold.

"It was hard work you know" he expresses "following you all those months getting your routine down" "hell the easiest part was getting you on this trip, all I had to do was search up foresty locations on your laptop so you would get targeted ads" "And you immediately took the bait" he chuckles to himself before looking down at your stiff composure "Oh I'm sorry honey..Am I scaring you again?" He goes to brush your hair and you jolt up sprinting in the direction of the road. Henry rolls his eyes and sighs to himself "good job idiot now the poor thing is gonna get her clothes all dirtied up" he grunts before lifting his heavy frame from the cozy log and stalking in the direction you ran off in.

You run frantically and your lungs burn as they absorb the coldness of mother nature.

You close your eyes sobbing to yourself. and when you open them bright white beams blind you and you throw your hands up into the air. you hear an ear peircing screeching noise and you dare not open your eyes in the fear that you might be dead. Until you hear an angry door open and slam loudly "What the hell is your problem lady!Are you trying to be roadkill!"

You try to gain your composure and go to open your mouth. But strong firm hands harshly grip your shoulders and your back meets A muscular hard chest "I'm so sorry for the trouble sir, my girlfriend here had a bit too much to drink but I'll get her tucked into bed right now" he emphasized the last 2 words of that sentence, and his grip hardened into your shoulders starting to hurt.

Now, you can't be quiet. if you miss this opportunity he could do whatever he wanted and no one would be there to heed your screams. You cock your head forward before throwing it back crashing into Henry's face. He's caught off guard by your new found boldness and is knocked back, stunned for the time being. and you run to the trucker "Please Sir!! Help me! hes trying to kill me!" You run behind the stranger and hide your face as henry recovers from the hit. Blood runs from his nose and he wipes it with the sleeve of his sweater before glaring at the trucker with murderous eyes before glancing back to you.

"Honey don't do this you're drunk. Now why dont you knock it off upsetting this poor man, and come on back with me" he reaches his hand out hand goes to take a few steps towards you but then A gun clicks "Now listen here boy!you leave this lady here alone!" Henry tilts his head and takes a step closer "Boy! Dont you come one step closer or I'll blast you into next week" henry smiles eerily before lunging at the man and A gunshot rings out. your head shoots up, and you see your boyfriend's burly frame crash into the road head first.

"No!" You cry out dropping to your knees and grab Henry's head cradling it in your arms. he's been good to you until tonight. And even though you wanted to get as far away from him as possible. you didn't want to see him die. you sob and the man gently pulls you back "C'mon miss, dont you go worrying about him. He's in the devils hands now...".

"No...." you whisper softly through your tear stained face as you let yourself be pulled away. he leads you into the passenger seat of the truck and helps you in "Now you stay right here miss I'm gonna make A call to the sherriff about what went on here, you just close your eyes and rest" "lord knows you've been through enough for the night...." the man turns and heads to the back of the truck to grab something presumably his cellphone.

You try to close your eyes but you can't, not after what happened. you drift your eyes to the road still in disbelief that henry was really gone......

Wait...where the hell is his body.

"AaaAH!!!" A blood curdling yell sounds from the back of the truck, and you swing your head around to peer through the small window. but theres nothing there you turn your head back to face the front window, then the driver door, then turn to the passenger door and your heart drops out of your chest. Henry's bloodly face is pressed against the window slightly fogging it up with his heavy breathing both palms flat against the glass.

How is he still alive should be your first question but his appearance plagues your eyes. Canines sharp enough to tear flesh and bone. Ears pointed up towards the sky.And you thought he couldn't get any bigger. but if he was 6'1 and 200 pounds before. he was at least 7'1 and 300 pounds now. he's horribly hunched over just to look into the window, plus hes way hairier than before. the bush of chesthair peaking through his torn sweater. but the most captivating feature is his eyes. pupils that were formerly circular black now pointed into animalistic slits, and irises glowing A bright hazel just like in the car. his nails long and sharp, must've been what you felt in the car.

The door to the truck is ripped from its hinges. tossed away at the road like scrap metal. henry places A death grip around your waist dragging you from the seat. kicking and screaming you claw at the leather of the truck fighting to stay in but he's too strong. with one last tug he rips you from the safety of the truck, throwing you over his shoulder. And without A word he trudges back toward your campsite.

"Henry No!-Put me down!" You bang your fists against his hard back. but henry continues forward unfazed by your feeble attempts of fighting him. you reach the campsite fire now gone out from being neglected. Henry makes a sharp right turn unzipping and entering into your tent. He tosses your body on the sleeping bags and turns to zip the tent. you pop back up and try to attack him,hit his face claw at him, anything to get the hell out of here. but he holds you at bay with one arm swatting away your attempts, as if your nothing but A fly.

When henry finishes zipping the tent you watch as he snaps the end of the zipper off and puts it in his pocket. he then turns his eyes to you and grabs a hold of your neck, his large hand wrapping entirely around it like fresh kill from a successful hunt.

He forces your head down, holding your neck until your face is flush against the sleeping bag. you thrash your body violently and try to resist, but pause when the sound of A belt unbuckling fills your ears.

"Now you may think the scariest part about this whole thing is the dead trucker, my changed appearance, or the fact that I'm about to take you right here and there's nothing you can do about it"

He grabs your pants and panties on both sides and harshly tugs them down to your mid thigh.

"But what I think the scary part is.." "Is the fact that I've been swapping your birth control pills for placebos this past week"

Your eyes widen filled with shock, but it doesn't quite set in with you until you feel his hands caress your tummy slowly.

"I'd always thought you'd make such A beautiful mommy" he kisses your back. And you fucking lose it "Henry-!No Dont!!" you kick your legs at him trying to wiggle out of his grasp, but his hand is unyielding around your neck you feel his tip brush your entrance "No.." you whimper and bury your head into the sleeping bag reluctantly accepting your fate.

You feel his huge throbbing cock sheath into your tight pussy, going deeper and deeper until its flush against your cervix. And his large balls rest roughly against your clit. You scream into the pillow with a mix of pleasure and pain, And henry let's out A low groan. He hasn't even moved yet, but you still feel as though you'll break into a million pieces "No Henry take it out please!!"

Henry ignores your pleas. And starts slamming into your small opening grabbing you by the hips to keep you crashing down on his girthy cock over and over again. you scream at the top of your lungs "Henry!!!!" Tears stream from your face "it hurts...no..Take it out please..."broken sobs leave your mouth.

Henry moans out in pleasure "Almost there sweetie I promise it'll feel better soon" he let's go of your neck and places both large hands your hips "Open up for me hun" He says before slamming your body's together in unison. A jolt of pain rocks you to your core and you open your mouth agape in a silent scream, while you feel the stretch of his knot entering your slick walls. then a wave of pleasure comes over you. This causes you to clamp down hard on his cock. and your body shakes from the intense rush then goes limp.

"mine already..." he let's out a faint growl "Your body was made just for me" he pumps into your pussy, and you grip onto the sleeping bag for dear life. eyes rolling to the back of your head and mouth wide open, tongue flopping out like a lost little pup.

Strangled moans drip from your salivated lips "Henryy!" You call his name over and over like it's the only thing you can think of "fuck baby I'm close" he slaps your ass and your walls tighten around him "Mhmmm... That's right baby fucking milk me" "milk the cum from your owners cock" you whine at his words as he fucks every last bit of resistance out of you "Henry more!breed me up good!" tears leak from your blurry eyes "please give me A baby just one please!..." you cry into your weak wrists.

"Aw baby Have I fucked you dumb already?" He laughs at you "dont worry baby I'll knock you up with A family of pups" "you just keep squeezing me nice and good okay baby?" "AAaah...!" You yell as your 4th orgasm washes over you like A tsunami and Henry bucks his knot into you further, fat thick heavy balls slapping against your clit with each thrust.

Henry let's out A primal moan with his hands on your hips glueing you both together, as he paints your walls white and floods your fertile womb with his spawn. His chest rises heavily up and down before he flops to the side still inside you.

You weakly try to crawl away but he pulls you to his sweaty hairy chest and kisses you all over your face "Not yet baby we gotta make sure your womb takes" he snuggles into you, and your defenses are gone. With your mind unable to form one coherent thought, you nod in agreement and give into his comfort whilst you drift off to sleep in his arms.

[proshippers-against-censorship]

Same anon that first expressed the para stuff- I cant, Find the post where it felt you were implying pro-c is under the umbrella of pro-para, and I'm genuinely unsure if you deleted it after getting my ask or if I just can't find it, I wanted to start from there so it's kindof hard to if I cannot find it, apologies.

And genuinely I apologize, I was a lot more harsh in that ask than I remember, I felt hurt and frustrated but I shouldn't have let it be so loud so instantly.

💬< this for if/when I remember to come back if I am allowed, so that I don't have to go "hey I'm ____ anon"

It's still there, I try not to delete stuff. I personally see doing that as hiding my tracks instead of acknowledging stuff, and I'm big on acknowledging and fixing my wrongs (and after you sent that ask, I did actually ask for feedback from paraphiles on my discord, though I should have done that here as well). I post a LOT on here, though, so it's probably just a bit buried.

I did imply that, but I think I could have worded it a bit better. I personally perceive being pro-para as being vehemently for all paraphilias regardless of contact stance, and while others don't, because of that perception I find it more comfortable to mark myself as neutral as well as putting a separate contact stance. That being said, though, it has been brought to my attention that marking para-health may be a better choice, and I will change that in my bio soon.

You are completely welcome to be here, and even if you didn't word things how you should have, I also don't always word things as I should have, and regardless, I appreciate you bringing the topic up to my attention in the first place. It's important to me that everyone (so long as they don't intend on hurting living beings) feels welcome here, and I can't do that without feedback.

You're wholly forgiven, rest assured, and I apologize on my own behalf for anything I've said that has inadvertently been insulting. I will do my best to keep from that in the future, and don't hesitate to point out if I slip up.

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

My favorite is when Yuu is from America (If they refer to it as USA Crowley might think it was some other academy) especially when it's combined with the great 7 parents, and once the great seven are in Yuu's head for a while and they start to feel protective of this strange child, and Yuu slowly sharing their horrible experiences all non-chalant because "this is really normal where I come from??"

Like if Yuu was from a northern state with air and water quality issues:

Yuu: Whoa, Look at at all the stars you can see out here! I don't think I've ever been able to see this many before!

Hades: ???... Ummm, Kid, Why are you acting like the stars aren't in the sky literally every night?

Yuu: Oh, Well back in my world there's so much light pollution that some people can go their whole lives without seeing any, in the city I lived in though you could see a couple if the air was good enough.

Ursula: The.. air?

Yuu: Well yeah, sometimes the air was filled with to much exhaust and smog and they would send out warnings to not travel and stuff, it was really boring -__-

And it would be so funny if when they get the sevens powers it's really because they won't seek medical attention

Yuu: *putting duct tape on their gashed cheek* See? Told I could fix it myself!

Jafar: No-

I could go on about this au forever I love it sm, I would love to see more with it, sorry i don't want to ramble ur work is amazing!

Nonono you don't understand this is my shit. I always think about how yuu would be from out world. Like I say this a lot but like imagine telling the octotrio about the pollution of our world.

Imagine telling malleus you have never seen stars before

Imagine telling Idia about the elephants foot??

Can you imagine when Lilia tells you stories of bloody history you fore back with things arguably worse like Unit 731*? Maybe even joking about horrible historical events?

Imagine the stories of fairies and cryptids both fascinating and insulting Sebek

Explaing to ruggie that animals from your woukd cannot talk nor be understood in the same way they can here

Explaining to any royal how most monarchies are down and frowned upon??

And depending on where you from can you imagine having to tell them to boil or check your water?? To watch the air for chemicals? To be cautious of radiation? Hell maybe even running from ambulances cause Yuu cant afford that right now! (It's like 10k in the US to give birth). Or even ask about attacks on schools?? Would probably be so alien to them

*an extremely fucked up experiment with extremely triggering topics, please use caution when researching it

[todayisafridaynight]

I largely keep to myself in fandoms, only picking up the odd friend here-and-there or joining a group chat if I'm feeling brave enough. But all of this Twitter talk is making me want to try engage with folks on the platform too! My only gripe isn't even surrounding the community, since you can curate your space like you said, it's the lack of organisation and the dreaded infinite scroll on pages. I adore Tumblr for how easy you can come back to a particular post you reblogged a long time ago, or venture through the tags on somebody's page... but it feels as though that's not possible on Twitter with how it operates. Are there any ways to get around this? 🤔

tl;dr - if you're trying to find a specific topic on someone's page, type 'topic (from:@Username)'

example: minedai (from:@Snapperoni)

if you're trying to save a post to look at later, you can either use twitter's own bookmark feature, or you can use your browser's bookmark feature

long ass unnecessary winded edition below the cut

twitter's less organized than tumblr since tumblr's meant for proper organizational blogging instead of status-update-type posts like twitter (even if its blog tag search system only decides to work depending on the phase of the moon on tumblr), so fundamentally its going to be a little more awkward with organization. there's some things you can do though, and it's not impossible: it's just a little extra work

in my experience it's a lot easier to just 'run into' new accounts and posts once your algorithm knows what you like and i prefer to use twitter that way for finding art or discussions im interested in. trusting the wind and all and the wind's done me well to show me excellent art.

you can help curate your algorithm by going into your Settings -> Privacy And Safety -> Content You See. you cant manually type in topics to add (you CAN save searches though if that's anything: it just means you dont have to type in the thing you want to search when you go to the search bar), but again once you start liking posts it'll start to recommend topics like 'Yakuza' that you can add. you can also remove topics you dont like once they show up in the list under Content You See -> Interests

another way around is to just search your interest (i.e. 'baseball') and just start liking/retweeting a bunch of posts and the algorithm will do the rest for your For You page. following accounts posting the topic you like also helps (obviouslylol)); searching terms on twitter is a fine way to see people post about a thing you like. its like tumblr in that it'll only show you posts that have the tagged word (i.e. 'minedai) in the actual post (i.e. 'if i think about minedai for more than three seconds im going to eat gravel')

at most for coming back to a post you like, you can use the bookmark feature: ive used it. A Lot. and True it gets harder to find older bookmarks as time goes on but for what it is it's been nifty for me. i dont exactly look at bookmarks any older than maybe a month at this point, so it doees its job fine for my needs. if you're on desktop and you really want to save a post without using twitter's bookmark feature, then you can always use your browser's own bookmark feature (i do that with tumblr posts sometimes. it's definitely easier to organize things that way but i also can see how it might appear cumbersome)

trying to find a specific post or type of post from someone's 50/50 though, like tumblr (because i repeat its tagging system is only so reliable sometimes). unless they use tags or you remember a particular phrase they put in the post (you can search specific terms, that including tags) then you just have to scroll i fear. other than that, if you search the term you want and the account youre trying to look through (i.e. minedai (from:@Snapperoni) then it should show up: if anything, twitter's more reliable in actually showing you the post you're looking for so long as you have the term typed correctly

and ermmmm yeah i think thats all i got LOL. best of luck to using twitter

[ask--eggman]

hey, im sorry if this is a sensitive topic but i cant stop thinking about it, do you recal your attempted suicide bombing in station square? do you recall what drove you to suicide? it must have been somthing awful if it pushed somone as brave and as strong as you to take your own life.. did anyone at all try to reach out? i doubt any of those so-called "herros" tryed to offer suport to somone undergoing sutch agony, again, you dont have to respond if you dont want to, but i truly want to know, and im shure the whole empire will suport you in whatever you were or are going through :)

I'm never one to lose hope and determination and give into defeat but that was just a time when it all got to me. I work so hard to accomplish my goals and put so much time, effort and passion into my plans but something comes along and ruins it, again and again. On that particular day, I'd finally reached my capacity for the disappointment, anger and stress. Not just for that day but for my entire lifetime.

Anyone else inferior and weaker than me would be broken down by failure much more often and much sooner, than the one time it pushed me too far. It wasn't really a conscious decision more than something that hit me in the spur of the moment. At first I just thought I'd at least blow Station Square up if nothing else. There would be some catharsis in that blue pest still not succeeding in saving their pathetic lives.

Oh but then of course the missile had to be a dud. Of course even that couldn't go right. So I just thought "Oh, fuck it all", and went to detonate it by hand. I knew I was going to die and I was going to happily take the whole city with me. Once I'd made my mind up, I felt happy, I had a blast trying to race Tails to that missile. I found myself begging for him to wait for me when he was ahead.

It was something to be determined to accomplish again, one I was sure nobody could ruin this time. One last glimmer of hope to succeed in something, one last thrill racing across the city in my Egg Mobile onward to destruction, then I'd be free from ever having to experience failure again. I'd go out having accomplished one part my plan of destroying Station Square, even if I didn't get to build the empire I always dreamed of.

I was tired of being the one who it all ended in destruction for, I wanted others to experience that devastation. For once, I wanted it to end with their destruction and my success and it seemed like the only way. But I obviously lost that race because here I am today. Well, that snapped me out of it and so I went back to trying to kill the little pest Tails who stopped me, since he's the one that actually deserves death really.

Nobody reached out to me and I didn't expect them to. They're used to breaking down everything I build and waiting for the next time I get back up to try to bring me down again and the cycle repeats. It's always just me alone to pick myself up and keep fighting in the end. But I don't need anyone else. I know if I keep at it, I'll succeed. So I try my hardest to fight to accomplish my dreams and not let my mind slip back into that place.

Anyway, enough about that.

The way I still came back from that and have only become stronger and more successful and determined over time just further proves my power! It's another of the many reasons why I deserve to have all of your support, admiration and praise and be your mighty emperor! So that's to be expected, you wouldn't have a choice either way, hehe~

[svechnikovvv]

moving forward

pairing: trevor zegras x fem!reader

warnings: profanity, shitty father

summary: new beginnings

a/n: can we all appreciate this gif of z? but holy fucking shit. we reached 400 followers??? already???

gif creds: @mattymartin

masterlist: here

my dad was one of those dads where dating was forbidden for me. if i even mentioned the topic of dating, he’d shut me down immediately.

so when he found the polaroid of trevor and i in my room, he was livid.

***

i was walking around campus, enjoying the scenery when i get a string of messages from my dad.

where are you?

get home

right now.

i was freaking out. i don’t know what i did this time. it’s always like this with him. constantly walking on egg shells because he’s so hard to please. nothing i do satisfies him. he’ll always find something to be mad about with me.

i rush home, because i know if i don’t get there in record time, my ass is screwed. luckily, campus was ten minutes from home, so my drive is short and quick.

i head inside the house, scared for what’s to come.

“dad?” i call out and i walk into the living room and see him sitting on the couch, staring at the coffee table in front of him.

“sit down” i take a seat on one of the recliners and i’m looking at him, anxiously waiting.

“mind telling me what this is?” he nods his head at the coffee table and i see a polaroid picture. but not just any picture. it’s a picture i took of trevor and i where he’s kissing my cheek.

“how’d you get that?”

“answer my question first.” his tone raises and i scoff, which throws him for a loop. i wasn’t one to really fight back with my father because i know how awful he can get when angry, but my room is my room.

“no. my room is my privacy. you shouldn’t be in there in the first place.”

“what have i told you about dating?”

“you can’t constantly control every aspect of my life. you’ve done that for the past 20 years and i hate it.”

“then leave.”

“i cant! i have a savings account for college that you won’t let me access. i could be living on fucking campus right now, but noooo, i have to live here with you! you just can’t stand not being in control, can you?” i scoff and grab the picture, heading up to my room.

***

i‘ve locked myself in my room and i’ve been in here just sitting on my bed for the past hour. staring at the ceiling wondering why i have to put up with this everyday. i then hear three taps on my window. i get up and walk over to it, opening my blinds and seeing trevor standing on my little balcony i had. i open the window, looking around frantically. i usher him inside and tell him to be quiet.

“you shouldn’t be here.” he places a hand over his heart and gasps.

“that’s no way to greet your boyfriend.” i sniffle and shake my head.

“seriously, trev. i don’t want something to happen to you.” his demeanor changes and he cups my face with his hands.

“babe, hey, talk to me. what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” he’s looking at me intently and i just shake my head.

“dad found out about you and i.” he pulls me into a hug and cradles me to him.

“it shouldn’t matter what he says, right? he’s a prick and his first marriage didn’t last. so who is he to judge us?” he then pulls apart and wipes away the tears from under my eyes. “listen to what i’m about to say, okay?” i nod

“i don’t care what your dad thinks of me or us. i want you. all of you. the highs and the lows. i’m in it for the long haul. so screw what he thinks. he’s breaking you, baby. and it hurts my heart to see it. you’re this ray of sunshine and i can see you’re slowly starting to dull. for that, i resent him. i love you so much.”

i stare at trevor and wonder what i ever did to deserve him.

“move in with me.” he says and my eyes widen

“won’t that mess with your hockey career?” i sniffle and he quietly laughs and shakes his head.

“you could never mess with me. it’d be more encouragement, actually. because then, i’d have someone to look forward to coming home to. it’s not even a home, actually. not without you.” i smile and he smiles back.

“yeah.” he perks up

“yeah?” i nod and he picks me up, spinning me around. he gently places me back on the ground and gives me a deep kiss. then we pull apart and just stare at one another for a second.

“now, i believe we have some packing to do?”

tags: @goldenbrokenheart @woodruff-edwards @hockeyboysarehot @ajbird2010 @hughesx3 @hannahh01938 @theywantedplayer @k1ttyt3ar

a/n: we could all use a trevor