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leoascendente · 1 year ago

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PAC/ Major blessings of the new year ✨️

Hi my loves! Welcome back to another pick a card, this time focused into the new year and what will be the major blessings this new year has in store for you. As always, take a deep breath and take a moment to choose your pile, I suggest you to pick the one that makes you smile the most.

I wish you the best year possible, may peace, happiness and love be always by your side every day of this new year ❤️

Decks: Woodland wardens oracle, Raider Waite tarot and astrodices

For private readings click here / 2024 readings are open

My blog in Spanish here

All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners

Pile 1/ pile 2/ pile 3

Pile 4/ pile 5/ pile 6

Pile 1:

This new year will be your year of preparation, there's something huge coming into your life at some point but first you need to learn some new skills to get and keep the success you are looking for. Universe is giving you extra time to prepare what you really want to achieve, it's like a period for trying new things and tests what works best for you, especially in matters of career and money because you'll be very lucky in these areas. If you are thinking into opening your own bussiness and be an enterpreneour, this year will be a lucky year for you but the cards wants you to focus on burocracy and legal matters too, you'll have it easy but there are some things you'll need to learn before, like paying taxes on time or investing money wisely

Your areas of luck will be about starting projects and trying new things it's all about taking the lead without fearing risk, whenever you follow your inner compass you'll find yourself attracting more abundance than what you expected. You'll also be very lucky when it comes to gain wealth and what will play the most at your favor is your knowledge about burocracy or legal matters, not only for this year but the years ahead where you'll be managing big amounts of money.

This year will be filled by happiness and meaningful changes, sometimes change can be overwhelming but for you this feels like something you've been waiting for a long time, a desired transformation of your reality. You are the group that got more major arcana, so this 2024 will be an end of a cycle where your life will take a 180-degree turn, there's also this energy of getting out of your head so much and starting focusing on your present moment. With the empress and the magician cards, I see you'll feel a lot more grounded and, for what I'm feeling, this will help you attract money easilly, you'll be a literal money magnet this new year. These two cards are also indicators of a good year of prosperity with work and money, the empress also indicates a huge physical glow up and a boost in your confidence, you'll feel super empowered during the new year ahead :)

Pile 2:

This new year brings you balance and stability, you'll feel a lot more supported and certain about the path you are taking in life, things will feel more peaceful for you this new year. If you deal with anxiety or something of that sort that involves your mental health, I see a big relief over 2024, you'll be making a lot of progress in this area. The major word I channel is balance, on your outside circumstances but mostly when it comes to yourself and your inner wellbeing, I feel my heart rushing and a knot in my stomach that are slowling relieving, this year might also involve some kind of spiritual or emotional healing too. If you have difficulties dealing with stressful situations this year will also bring you clarity to discern what's best for you and where to invest your precious energy.

You'll be lucky when it comes to find new ways to develop your passion or how you share it with the world, you'll be very lucky if you use some kind of social media or technologies to promote it too, especially if you are an artist. Your intuition will be improving too, if you follow it you'll find sucess at the end of the road, your guides will also be taking relevance in your life. Btw, blue will be your lucky color during the year

This new year will end up some conflicts you were dealing with, the feeling that you needed to constantly fight will dissipate in a very natural way, it will happen progressively in a time where you'll feel like you can finally sit and relax, you might feel extra tired sometimes but it will be because your nervous system will get out of survival mode. You end up a karmic cycle of your life that will allow you to focus on your finances and being productive at work because you got the ace and the 8 of pentacles right after the card of the world, so working and seeing progress will be a major theme of your year ahead, if you are into handcraft of some sort you can get extra income with it. You'll be also getting out of your comfort zone more often to find beautiful things outside of what's known to you, this will be a year of adventures that you'll live with peace in your heart.

Pile 3:

There's an improvement on your energy levels and your home life, you'll feel a lot more healthy and vital during the new year, I don't usually talk about health in any of my readings but your pile deserves it because your body is regenerating positively somehow, whatever you are doing to take care of it just know it's working and will give you proofs of it this new year. There's also a major message about your home life and how it will be taking a more important role in your life, maybe it's something as simple as to be able to decorate it the way you like or it's something more relevant like making a renovation of pipes or fixing leaks, whatever it is, it's something you've been wishing for a long time, It could also be that you'll finally be moving to the house of your dreams.

Your lucky areas talk about health again with virgo in the dices, I see trying to have healthier habits will help you in this aspect of your wellbeing, maybe create a healthier routine or something that sort (it will be different for each of you reading this), always do what's most aligned with yourself. You also got pluto and the third house so this year will be good for you to transform yourself, maybe stepping out of what's known for you and try new practices, it could also be that you are re-learning some things after an important spiritual awakening. For a little amount of you this could mean taking a different approach when it comes to your physical health and needs.

Uhhh things got interesting with your tarot cards! There's a lot of love entering your life my dear :), you got so many beautiful cards that I had to take a minute to channel and summarize all the info. After a period of healing and purification all your dreams will start to come true, the healing process might seem too intense because you'll be getting a lot of channelings in a short period of time but suddently everything will start happening for you, it will happen in the most unexpected way at the mostt unexpected time, you won't see all the happiness coming, even if you receive signs you won't be paying that much attention. You got the star, 10 of cups, ace of cups and the empress, if this is not an omen of your true love entering your life I don't know what it is lol, maybe the message about the home means that you finally meet the person you are going to create a home with because you got the king and knight of pentacles at the bottom of the deck so this person is arriving with commitment, peace and stability. Congratulations my dear, you'll be discovering love in many different aspects of your life during this new year.

Pile 4:

Your major blessing is some kind of dharma, it's something that will make you gain hope in Universe's protection over you, this will come through other people that will communicate things to you that will feel like an eureka moment where everything starts to make sense. Honestly, this feels like making amends with the past, do you know when you see the bully of your high school after 10 years and all the rage dissapears because that person is having a nightmare of a life?, it's not about being happy about other people's suffering, it is more the feeling of there's someone up there watching everything we do and no one leaves without paying their karma.

Your area of luck is about the people that will enter your life, I see you reuniting with your soul tribe this year and finding lovely people that will treat you with the love, respect and admiration you deserve. If you are someone that has dealt with the worst aspect of human nature, this year will be a proof from Universe of all the good traits humans have, it's like Universe wants to compensate you for the battles you have gone through in the past, you'll find your place and your people in this world.

With the tarot cards I'm seeing that you'll be meeting the most lighthearted and positive aspect of life, there's happiness, support and love entering your life to stay. You'll be moving on from a lot of mental patterns that were holding you back, it's like you have learnt the theory and you are finally dealing with the practice that you thought it would be supper difficult and challenging and will ressult into being the most easy and peacefull process ever, like you don't even have to make any effort because everything will be moving at your same pace, like Universe is adapting to you. Between all the new positive people entering your life, there are a lot of chances to find a romantic soulmate there, because of the cards you got I see an unblock in your heart chakra that will unblock your love life too, especially for those that have been single for a while. At the bottom of the deck you got the 6 of swords and the wheel of fortune so this new year will be a shift in your luck to the positive aspects of life, you'll also be feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

Pile 5

Your pile is the only one that has one extra oracle card and it's because that card wanted to fly and land on the opposite side of the room, not to give you spoilers but it was the card of romance. This new year will bring you a lot of different blessings, I see 3 major ones at least, romace is very prominent through all your spread so this year you will meet your true love and will start your life together as a couple. Another blessing I see here is some sort of independence (it will be different for each of you so take only what resonates), it can be moving alone to a new place, working by yourself or releasing emotional attachments, whatever independence means to you is what you'll be getting this new year. I also see admiration from people when they look up to you, you'll be receiving adoration from others, like getting a fan club or something like that, it feels like people being devoted to you, so you might get viral or achieve some level of fame throught the new year

Your lucky areas will be taking care of yourself and your beauty on the inside and the outside, if you've been thinking about changing your style, this year will be very favorable for you in this aspect, also for beauty treatments or anything related to your image and appearance. Another lucky area will be your drive and inner power, you can rely on this aspects whenever you need a boost of confidence, remind yourself your talents and keep moving, you are your most powerful lucky charm <3

Ohhh Divine counterparts energy here in your tarot cards, the hierophant and the high priestess and the king and queen of cups, so you'll be finding a person so in tune with you that it gives me goosebumps all over my spine, you'll understand what a twin flame connection is after this person enters your life, btw, it's someone completely new, no one from the past. Your overall message about this new year is success and moving on from what no longer serves you, this new year you'll be aligning with your happiest and most successful version and honestly, I feel like you won't have to do that much because Universe is pampering you during the whole year

Pile 6

Your oracle card's literal is happiness, so honey, happy days are here again for you, I see even see you crying of joy a few times during the year. You are my spiritual pile and my dear, this year you'll be having magical moments with your spirituality, you'll see miracles happening in front of you, I'm literally hearing 'a glitch in the matrix' so you'll be seeing and undestanding Universe in such a deeper level. You'll be nourishing your soul during this new year, you'll be more in tune with your inner child and you'll be focused into what's best for you and your happiness, life will also be very gentle with you.

Your lucky areas have something to do with your soul mission, especially if you are the kind of person that loves helping others and would like to dedicate your life into a major service for people. It's something related to healing, it can be your own or this might be more related of a soul mission that involves helping others, whatever it be, you'll be receiving rewards because of this so don'tdoubt to help those who need it. Another lucky area will be the people that will enter your life, you'll have an amazing support system in the people you will know this year.

You'll be knowing a soul mate this year! You got 2 and 10 of cups and a lot of major arcana, so I see a major connection with a romantic soulmate but also there are a lot of soul mates that will enter your life to align you with your soul mission, every person will come with a lot of knowledge that will make you feel fullfiled on a soul level. There's also a shift in your luck but it will be mostly driven by your own mentality, you'll feel stronger and more confident in whatever your passions are, you'll be also having some sort of realization about what you want to do with your life and will plan how to make it true, Universe will be favoring you in this aspect.

#witchblr #leoascendente #divination witch #tarot #tarotblr #pac reading #pick a pile #tarot reading

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theresattrpgforthat · 5 months ago

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I'm looking for TTRPGs that have... for lack of a better way of putting it, mechanics where like, your character is under a profound amount of stress, and if they don't manage it and additional stress that comes in, they'll break or snap and do something horrible and then have to deal with the consequences. So something that mechanically 'forces' your character to do something they'd normally never do due to external stressors.

THEME: Stress Clocks.

Oh this is my shit. Get ready for a Hall of Fame style of recommendations from me this week (as well as a bit of self-advertising)!

Also a note: this was (mostly) a chance for me to get very excited about a number of games that have specifically inspired me, and I am aware that it means that I’ve kind of neglected certain houses of design as a result. For this post especially, I encourage anyone who can think of a game that fits this request that isn’t listed here to give it a shout out in the reblog and the replies!

Mothership, by Tuesday Knight Games.

Mothership is a sci-fi horror roleplaying game where you and your crew try to survive in the most inhospitable environment in the universe: outer space! You'll excavate dangerous derelict spacecraft, explore strange unknown worlds, exterminate hostile alien life, and examine the horrors that encroach upon your every move.

Mothership inflicts Stress upon you with every failure, and hitting your Stress cap reduces your most relevant Stat or Save, thereby consistency reducing your chances of success with every roll. That’s not all though - your Stress cap also makes it harder and harder to stop your character from panicking, by representing the threshold you must beat every time you make a Panic Check. If you roll less than or equal to your current Stress rating, you must take on a new Panic condition.

You make Panic checks whenever you roll a critical failure, but also whenever you witness something traumatic. These conditions don’t necessarily force your character to do anything, but they represent the toll that being in a constantly hostile environment takes on your mind and body. You have to work harder and harder to prevent your character from attacking allies, giving in to the demands of whatever is haunting their psyche, or going straight-up catatonic.

You can also try to mitigate this stress and panic by resting and doing something that helps relieve the pressure - having sex, taking drugs, praying, etc. There’s even a Shore Leave mechanic for long-term games that allow your character to turn their stress into a character improvement.

In some respect, these conditions remind me of the Morality and Clarity tracks of Chronicles of Darkness and Changeling: the Lost, but with less of the errant language around mental health. The dice rolls also make the consequences much less predictable, so if you want to be surprised by what exactly causes your character to snap, I recommend Mothership.

Urban Shadows, by Magpie Games.

The streets bleed shadows as the supernatural politics of the city threaten to swallow you whole. Will you die a hero—a savior for those who have never had enough—or live long enough to become the villain? Will you fight the darkness…or give in for power?

The choice is yours.

Urban Shadows is an urban fantasy tabletop roleplaying game in which mortals and monsters vie for control of a modern-day city, a political battleground layered just under the reality we think we know. Vampires, faeries, hunters, and wizards fight to carve out a piece of the streets and skyscrapers, ready to make deals with all those who have something to offer.

The ‘consequences’ track for Urban Shadows is called Corruption. Each character playbook in this game has a couple of special moves called Corruption Moves, and when you start playing, you start with two Drama Moves the tie into this. The Drama Moves describe specific situations in which your character must mark Corruption. If you fill your Corruption track, you take a Corruption Move. Corruption moves give you special powers that are super-effective, but fill up your Corruption track faster. You can only fill your Corruption track so many times - fill it one too many and your character must be retired, because they’ve just become an antagonist.

I really like how this feels like a slow descent that speeds up the more you lean into it. Your character is consistently tempted to give into their darker sides in order to keep themselves afloat in this unforgiving city - but lean too far and they become exactly the kind of person they were hoping to stop.

Antiquarian Adventures, by acegiak.

Antiquarian Adventures is a pulpy tomb raiding and treasure hunting Blades In The Dark hack in the style of Tomb Raider, Indiana Jones, National Treasure, and The Mummy.

So Antiquarian Adventures is a pulp game. It’s not grim dark in any sense of the word, but I think it introduces a unique use of the Blades’ Stress mechanic in a special “ability” that happens when your character uses up all of their Composure (this is the “Stress” of this gam). Once you’ve used up all of your Composure, you cannot resist anything that comes your way and your dice pools are reduce to 0 until you do something (specific to your playbook) that usually invites a new consequence.

For example, The Veteran’s version of this is called “Not As Quick As I Used To Be,” which hamstrings the character until the player allows themself to be left behind or separated from their comrades. This kind of mechanic has directly inspired one of the projects that I’m working on, and I think that if you tweak the amount of Composure your character has, or makes the reaction harsher, you could absolutely make it work for a game that’s a bit grittier than Antiquarian Adventures.

Last Fleet, by Black Armada Games

The last of humanity are fleeing across space, pursued by the implacable inhuman adversary that destroyed their civilisation. They're outnumbered and outgunned. Supplies are running low. The actions of a brave few could be all that stands between humanity and extinction.

Welcome to the Last Fleet.

Last Fleet is a PBTA tabletop roleplaying game where you play brave pilots, officers, engineers, politicians and journalists struggling to hold the human race - and themselves - together under unbelievable pressure. The game focuses on action, intrigue and drama in this high-stakes situation. You'll fight space battles, search for enemy infiltrators, tackle supply shortages and navigate faction politics. You'll strive against your own self-doubt and sometimes crack under the stress.

Last Fleet has something called a Pressure Mechanic, which can be used as a player resource, but also activates when you take weather harm or get called out on your shit. Hit your cap? Clear your Pressure and take a Breaking Point action, which often puts you at odds with the other characters, making the situation worse. The whole situation is a designed to act as a pressure cooker, making the situation harder and harder to bear until you finally pop. I love it, and it’s also a direct influence on one of my games.

Apocalypse Keys, by Rae Nedjadi (@temporalhiccup)

Unmask your feelings, uncage your ruination… The Doomsday Clock is ticking down and emotions run high as you and your team of DIVISION agents struggle to find the Keys before the villainous Harbingers unlock the Doors of Power and bring about the apocalypse.

As an Omen class monster, you are the only thing capable of holding back the apocalypse. Combat occult threats and investigate supernatural phenomena alongside your team of supernatural agents working for the shadowy DIVISION. But in a world that shuns monsters like you, only your deepest, most heartfelt bonds can grant you the power to stop those who seek to unlock Doom’s Door.

Taking cues from Urban Shadows, Apocalypse Keys gives you a Ruin track to follow as your monsters try to stop the world from ending. The Ruin track gives you a Ruin advance every time you fill it, unlocking Ruin Moves, permanently marking character conditions, and eventually forcing your character to turn into a Harbinger if you let it. Your Ruin moves are powerful and dark, generating even more Ruin when you use them, and in some cases (like with the Hungry’s "Only Hunger Remains" move), your character can actually halt the current mystery as they get close enough to becoming a Harbinger that the entire party will have to work together to stop you from ripping the world apart.

Protect the Child, by Mint-Rabbit (that’s me!).

Humans have always been protective of their young, sometimes overly so. Humans have also always feared that which might make their young strange or different, and so insist that only humans can raise their own young. Monsters cannot raise human young. This is known.

You have a human baby. You cannot find its parents. What is even worse, is that this child has powers, powers that others covet, and so everyone wants it. If you want to prove that you’re not the heartless monster that everyone says you are, that means you’ll have to raise it, at least until you find someone who is better suited to it than you.

You are creatures of fur, scales and fangs. You have claws that can rend flesh, faces that can crack mirrors, howls that can cause ears to bleed.

And your charge wants a blankie.

Protect the Child is a Forged in the Dark game about monsters caring for a young human, a human who contains strange and mystical powers that make them a valuable asset in any monster crew. The setting and factions present in this game are flexible: you might be aliens in a far-flung future galaxy, fantasy monsters from rival kingdoms, or even everyday wild animals that fear human society.

Alright, so this is my baby and I can tell you exactly how to push your character towards some really unhealthy coping mechanisms. In Protect the Child, your character is constantly battling the stress of being a parent. Stress, like in other Forged in the Dark games, is a player resource, but it’s also inflicted on you when you resist consequences, and when the kid has an emotional breakdown.

Should your stress clock fill up, you’ll have to take a reaction from the list attached to your playbook before you can take more Stress, and these reactions range from doing something for selfish gains to lashing out to your fellow monsters to being fully monstrous at exactly the worst time. Your tools to manage this stress are also limited - you have to be willing to confront your fellow monsters and be honest about your relationships with each-other if you want to stop your emotional kettle from whistling all of the time. If you want a game where building relationships is the only way to deal with the pressures of monster-parenting, then check out Protect the Child!

#stress clocks #tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #game recommendations #dnd #asks #indie ttrpg #protect the child

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trippinsorrows · 3 months ago

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ltye + leya

authors note: no idea where this came from. but, we here.

no tags. if it ends up on your dash, twas meant to be lmao

words: 1.2k // warnings: mental health topics and roman being an ass to literally anyone not his child.

Children get sick.

It's a normal thing that happens from time to time, or more, depending on immune systems, exposure, and other extraneous variables.

However, for Roman and Solana, when one of their girls gets sick, both usually end up with whatever the ailment is before it's all said and done.

It's why they've come up with a system of sorts. Somewhat keeping the girls separated to avoid infection and exposure. It's not foolproof, nor is it liked by their girls who are more or less inseparable, but it saves the parents a ton of late nights with only having one child sick. Or, at least, one child sick at a time.

And to help out a bit, they split up the duties, taking turns with who caters more to the sick child and who caters more to the well child. It's Solana's turn, hence Roman being the one who's currently strapping Leya into her car seat after picking her up from school.

He goes to step back, a bit of a test when Leya's little hand reaches out to stop him. He sighs. "Why don't we just try one time and see what happens?"

It only takes her eyes widening with unspoken fear for him to know that's definitely not happening today.

"Please...." Her voice is soft and pleading and easily drags him over to her side of the fence. Roman proceeds to secure and unsecure her car seat a total of three times, after which her face settles into comfort and satisfaction.

He doesn't say anything, just makes a mental note to tell Solana they need to meet with her therapist again. Leya's OCD doesn't seem to be improving despite almost two months of weekly therapy.

He's just closed the door to the SUV when the single most annoying voice shouts his name. "Oh, Mr. Reigns!" This fucking bitch. "I need to speak with you!"

He doesn't hesitate to dismiss her ass. "Sounds like a personal problem to me." It's never anything important, just her probably trying to bait his ass into donating more money to their already rich ass school. If it doesn't have to do with his girls, and he knows it doesn't, she can fuck off.

Roman finds slight amusement in the way her smile drops off into borderline shock as he hops into the drivers seat and slams the door shut. Also annoying cause when has he ever paid this bitch any mind?

Nevertheless, he's driving home when Leya asks, "is sissy better yet?"

He wishes. It'd be easier on all of them. "Not yet, baby." A glance at her through the rearview mirror reveals her disappointment. Lina really is her best friend and not being able to play with her has to be hard. "You want me to watch that....Brown guy show with you?"

For the life of him, he can never remember the name of that damn show that has a chokehold on all the children.

Leya giggles, and it puts a small smile on his face. He loves hearing his girls laugh. Any of them. "It's Bluey, daddy."

"Yeah, that too." Close enough. "You wanna watch it or not?"

She nods, grabbing and holding her stuffed animal. She doesn't say anything else, and he doesn't really expect her to. She talks when she feels like it, and he respects that. She's like her mom, but she's also like him. Of few words at times.

It's when they're home, and she's changed out of her uniform into something comfortable, he sits down with her as they share their dinner together. Roman making sure to use one of her pink sectional plates to ensure her food doesn't touch.

Cause he knows damn well she won't eat if it does.

And when she asks for ice cream afterwards, Neapolitan, of all flavors, he watches how she uses her spoon to separate all of said flavors.

"What if I just got you the three different flavors instead?" He has to ask. It's probably unhelpful in helping her learn to manage her compulsions, but it seems at least a bit more efficient than her current routine.

However, she shakes her head, explaining in her cute little voice, "it's not the same...."

Roman sighs. "Leya...." Might not be the best time but between the car seat, her needing to see him lock the car and the front door three times, her completing all of her homework yet again instead of doing some there at school and some at home, and now the ice cream, he has to say something. "You know we've gotta work on some of these things."

He doesn't need to say what said things are. She already knows.

Her gaze drops to the bowl of perfectly partitioned ice cream. "It's my brain."

He frowns. "What?"

She lazily moves her spoon around the bowl, explaining, "Tracy at school said my brain is bad and stupid, and that's why i have bad thoughts."

There's never a shortage of people on Roman's hit list. It grows and changes around every day. But, this lil Tracy bitch just made her way to the top of the fucking list.

Kid or no kid.

"Who's Tracy?" He's mindful of his tone, not wanting her to think his simmering anger is any way directed toward her. Like her mom, she can be very sensitive at times.

"She's in my class....." Was in her class, cause this little bitch with the old ass name of Tracy just earned herself an expulsion from the school. "I just don't want bad things to happen."

Her eyes watering is enough to have Roman get up from his own bar stool as he moves to lift her up, takes her seat and settles her onto his lap.

"Nothing bad is going to happen, okay?" He moves his thumb to her eyes, gently wiping her tears. "Daddy's always going to protect you, your sister, and your mom. I promise you that." With every part of his being, every fiber of his soul. "I know it's hard for you, but your mom and I are gonna help you."

And some of that help might include Roman having to set aside his pride and reservations about medicating Leya. The minute her therapist brought it up, he wanted to cuss her out. She's 7. That's too damn young to be on some mental health medication. But seeing and hearing in her own words how she views herself because of her OCD, it's more than enough to have him at least hear out her pediatrician.

He's pleased to see and even feel her spirits lifted a little, prompting him to take it a step further. "Can you smile for me?" She bites down on her bottom lip just like Solana, clearly suppressing said smile. "I know it's in there." His hand is barely on her stomach, tickling her when she bursts out into giggles, moving against him. Roman keeps his arm firm around her to keep her from falling. And he always will. "There it is...." Her smile is also Solana's. Through and through.

Leya presses her body into his chest. "Thank you, daddy."

He kisses the top of her head. Anything. Anything she needs or will ever need, he's got her. For life. "I love you, Cataleya."

#arisnotebook #ltye things

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creature-wizard · 1 year ago

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I need people to understand that when you're dealing with anxiety, depression, irritability, whatever, anything that puts you into a competitive mindset can Fuck You Up.

Affirmations like "I'm an it girl, I'm so gorgeous I turn heads everywhere I go, people can't stop thinking about me" put you in a competitive mindset because you're defining your worth by how much popularity you have; basically, you're programming yourself to think that the only way you can be happy and have worth is if you're more popular than others.

Every time you stop and think about how you don't have all that popularity, your mental health is going to take a hit because right now, you feel like a worthless, unlovable loser. You might totally spiral into some very dangerous territory, psychologically speaking.

Being in a competitive mindset makes you a meaner person because you see people who are more popular and successful than you (or at least seem to be more popular and successful) as your enemy. You feel like you have to defeat them to get ahead. And if you can't take that urge out on them, you're probably going to redirect it somewhere else - on someone else - because displaced aggression is a thing.

This is also why the Law of Assumption is so dangerous. Being an early 20th century form of capitalist mysticism, it frames your personal success as a simple matter of belief and willpower. Today, it lures people in with the promise that you can become a "high value person" if you just put your mind to it.

If high value people exist, then it also follows that there must be low value people. If you are not a high value person, then you are a low value person - and therefore unworthy and unlovable. This is psychological poison, especially to those who already struggle with their self-image.

The solution to self-esteem problems isn't to try and lifehack your way to the top of the hierarchy. Not only is highly unlikely it'll work, but it wouldn't even make you happy if it did. Look at Donald Trump and Elon Musk; they have billions of dollars and loads of fame, and yet they're both miserable and insecure.

The solution is to get yourself out of competition mentality. Instead of saying affirmations like "I'm so beautiful that I turn heads everywhere I go," try "I deserve love and respect no matter how I look." Instead of "I'm an it girl," try "I am capable of learning and growing." Instead of "I'm a high value person," try "I deserve happiness and fulfillment."

Get yourself out of the competition mindset, and you'll very likely find your mental health improving quite a lot.

#mental health #mental illness #affirmations #it girl #law of assumption #loa #loassumption #loablr #loa community #anxiety #depression #competition mentality

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13timesihavedonethis · 6 months ago

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Indulge - Viktor x reader drabble

Some Viktor fluff because working on the long angst fic has been bringing me down.

Warnings: Viktor not taking care of himself, rushed and not really proofread

Word count: 642

Desc.: Viktor likes to indulge in your care

Even in the early days of Hextech, it was a fight to get Viktor to rest even when he overworked himself into sickness. You would have to coax him with kisses and sweet nothings. Your voice always beckoned him back to bed each morning. Though, there was just so much for him and Jayce to learn about the Arcane and how to use it for good. They had just figured out how to create portals around the world to improve imports and exports! They couldn’t stop there. There were so many more projects to get done.

However, when you would look at him with a small pout telling him how he needs to take better care of himself, he felt a bit bad for making you worry. He also loved to indulge in your care. Maybe it was selfish of him to enjoy how you fussed over his health; he was happy to know for sure that you did care about him. You never let him feel unworthy or unseen when he was in your arms. So he let you pamper him every once in a while even if he had a mountain of work waiting for him at the lab.

On stormy days where his leg felt the worst, he would hold onto you for longer in the morning. Viktor would breathe you in and pepper kisses all over your face to wake you up. If that didn’t do the trick, he would call out to you using a dozen cute nicknames until you finally stirred. The way you look and the way your voice sounds in the morning never fails to get his heart racing. Upon hearing the crack of thunder, you would pull him down so his head was resting on your chest, and your heartbeat would lull him back to sleep.

When he woke up again, you would help him over to the dining area where you’d have food and a warm cup of tea for him. It was your turn to cover his face in kisses while you went on and on about how handsome he is. The soft smile and blush he wore never left his face.Jayce always jokingly pestered him on those days—if you even let him leave the apartment—for being such a softie with you.

When his health got drastically worse, it took a lot more effort on your part to get him to even take a long enough break to eat lunch and drink water. There wasn’t much time left for him to get his work done, and he told you that. You just didn’t seem to understand. He thought himself immune to your tactics to get him to rest, but he wasn’t prepared for you to come into the lab crying. Even worse, Jayce got up and left the two of you alone in the lab the very second you walked in.

“I know you keep telling me you’re fine, but I know you’re not” you hiccupped. “Jayce and Heimerdinger and Sky have all kept me up to date with how you’re doing. Please, please take an off day with me again. You will have even less time if you refuse to take care of yourself.”

A massive wave of guilt hit him hard at your words and tears. He’s known you really do care about him, but he didn’t realize how him not caring for himself would affect you. Viktor stood up supporting himself with a hand on his desk, and you rushed towards him enveloping him in a hug. He nuzzled his face into your neck and breathed you in for the first time in way too long. With you by his side, he went back to the apartment and let you pamper him. It truly had been far too long since he let himself indulge in your care.

Note: If there are any mistakes, please let me know! I am still working on the longer fic, but because it handles darker themes such as drug addiction and mental health disorders, I am making sure I am doing my best to accurately portray those things. Probably expect more of these small cute things while I work on that one :)

#arcane #arcane viktor #viktor x reader #arcane viktor x reader #arcane fluff #viktor fluff #I wish I could cuddle this man

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candlelitvamp · 13 days ago

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When it’s Dark, Look for Stars

bf!xdinary heroes’ reactions when you’re going through a hard time

tags/warnings: fluff, slight angst (mental health issues somewhat implied, no specifics), suggestive in seungmin’s, hurt/comfort (way more comfort than hurt i swear), gender neutral reader

a/n: another post omg… ngl this is so self indulgent cuz bitches r going through it lately (i’m bitches)

Gunil: just the sweetest. brings you sunflowers to brighten up your home. he may be a yapper but he is also a damn good listener. gives the best advice, and helps you make a whole plan to address whatever is upsetting you so much, whether it be a long-term plan for improving your mental health in general or a shorter term plan for addressing a bad situation. if you need to cry he’ll hold your face so tenderly and wipe away your tears with his thumbs and look at you with just the Most loving eyes, taking exaggerated deep breaths to help you calm your own breathing. when you go to bed he’d encourage you to lay your head on his chest so you can listen to his heartbeat while you drift off… 🥹🥲

Jungsu: not afraid to ask if you want to talk about it, but won’t force the subject if you’re not ready. very adaptable to your needs, and will suggest different things to see what you feel like doing or what will help you the most. if you need to cry, he gives the Best hugs and doesn’t care if you get his shirt wet with tears or anything, just holds you close on his lap and pets your hair as you let all your feelings out for as long as you need. tries to take big slow breaths to encourage you to slow your breathing too. gets you into bed to fall asleep in his arms, putting his hand under your shirt (if you’re comfortable with it ofc) so he can absently trace his fingers over the bare skin of your back and lull you to sleep. Will hum/sing you a lullaby too. cleans your room/home for you while you nap/sleep, partly cuz he’s worried ahout your wellbeing and is a stress-cleaner but mostly because he knows a chaotic space can lead to a chaotic mind, and really just wants to Help you.

Jiseok: tries his best not to show it but boy is STRESSED for you. knowing his beloved is struggling throws his whole system out of homeostasis, and this techie boy knows the best way to reset a system is to turn it off and on again. knows that a nap (or just going to bed early) holding each other will not only help you relax physically and mentally, but also believes that your mood will be better when you wake up. he always Insists on cuddling, and when you ask why you expect a lecture on oxytocin, but instead he says “so i can protect you from bad dreams while you sleep with the power of love, duh!” like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. no matter how rational and scientific his mind can be at times, he can’t just help but feel cheesy and poetic when it comes to you 💚

Seungmin: feels like the least he can do is help you relax at the end of the day, especially if it’s a hard one. you text him you’re having a bad day/week(/month…) and as soon as you’re home for the evening he’s there with a sweet treat, microwave popcorn, and an extra hoodie (so he can change when he gives u the one he’s currently wearing 🥰). you’re ordering pizza and having a cozy night in! watching a comfort movie, snacking on yummy food, and cuddling on the couch. he treats u to some at-home spa treatments as well, doing a face mask together and taking a bath with you (with a bath bomb ofc) before giving you a massage to really relax any tension left in your body so you can sleep well. (and while it’s not his intention, if that Happens gets you more excited than relaxed… he knows other ways to release your tension so you can sleep well ;))

Hyeongjun: wants to do anything possible to make you feel better, but worries abt accidentally making u feel guilty for feeling down. happy to listen to you talk/vent and sympathize or offer advice, but won’t make u talk about it unless you want to. acts of service KING tho. ur too tired to cook? he’ll cook your favorite meal for you both (or at least order it). having a hard time sleeping? you’re listening to asmr together and you now have a new weighted blanket with built in heating! (it’s just him lying directly on top of you.) literally anything you complain about or need he’s immediately doing or getting for you. like jungsu, i think he’s very adaptable to your needs. although physical affection and words of affirmation don’t come as naturally to him as acts of service, he’d be more than happy to wrap his arms around your waist to hold your back close to his chest and whisper every single thing that he loves about you into your ear if that’s what you need from him and will make you feel better (insists on spooning tho, so you can’t see and tease him for how his ears turn red when he’s telling you how much you mean to him)

Jooyeon: it truly hurts his heart to see you sad. if you want to vent, he’s there to listen, though admittedly his responses may be a bit… unorthodox. by which i mean he’s making threats of gratuitous violence against anyone who’s mistreating you. or any Thing really. your job/school is stressing you out? he’s threatening to blow up the building. your boss/teacher is being an asshole? “i’m gonna run them over with my car” “joo you don’t have a car” “i’ll use seungmin’s” “you also can’t drive” “exactly that’ll be my defense in court” “JOOYEON” basically he’s gonna make you laugh to lift your spirits as best he can. if you don’t want to talk, he might feel a little awkward cuz even tho he Knows he can’t magically fix your problems and it may just take time, he wants to make you feel better NOW! extra clingy and does everything he can to make you feel comforted. hope you’re ready to get cozy in bed All Night cuz he’s setting u up there and not letting u lift a Finger!

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oceane4loveu · 1 year ago

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☾𝕄𝕆𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕀𝔾ℍ𝕋 BEAUTY ☾: 1 week to glow up

I really need a quick and simple glow up because I'm starting my job soon so I created a program to glow up in 1 week and really get to know myself and improve myself physically and mentally. You can do this program in 2 weeks or more if you want.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day 1: lunar preparation

★shadow work: It’s time to work on yourself, answer their questions to get to know yourself better.

1. What did my childhood need most?

2. What am I avoiding?

3. What am I addicted to?

4. What secrets am I hiding and why?

5. Am I honest with myself and others?

6. What are my biggest misconceptions about myself?

7. What are my biggest fears?

8. What should I give up?

9. Am I a victim of trauma? Have I done enough to heal?

10. What do I need to forgive myself for?

11. What lessons do I still need to learn?

12. What do I want most in this life?

13. What are the first signs you notice and know that your mental health is deteriorating?

14. Do I try to hide parts of myself from others? Why ?

15. What was I like when I was a child?

16. What's the worst way someone could describe you?

★moodboard: makes a Moodboard that reflects your aspirations and your inspirations that you can look at every morning; you can put it as a wallpaper or hang it on the wall.

★ Do a major cleaning: tidy your room, delete numbers, sort through your phone, sort through your series and films, social media and my playlist, cut off toxic people.

★make a list of all your goals, choose 4 big goals in your life and separate them into smaller goals to make them easier to achieve.

★create a morning and night routine: you can copy that of someone who inspires you or simply create your own.

★do 1 hour of sport per day

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day2:inner radiance

★ start Journaling: write down your thoughts, your emotions, your thoughts for the day and also positive affirmations.

★make a list of things you like about yourself

★become softer:

1. When someone calls you, first turn to the person and smile: This helps you to be gentler and more polite towards the person you are talking to and after smiling it gives you the opportunity to speak in a kinder tone.

2. think before you speak: this is very important when learning to speak softer because it gives you time to pay attention to the tone of your voice and also be careful with the things you say.

3. Avoid yelling at others out of frustration: Yelling is the most important thing you should avoid when trying to speak softer. When you're frustrated or going through a tough time, try doing something you enjoy to calm yourself down like music, drawing, etc. instead of taking it out on others. if someone tries to make you angry, politely tell them to stop and don't let your anger control you.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day3:educational brilliance

-listen to a podcast: I only listen to podcasts in French but if you don't like listening to podcasts you can watch videos from tam kaur, thewizardliz, simonesquared and more

-read a book: I recommend atomic habit, ikigai, the why cafe, the other books that I read are in French.

-learn a new language: on YouTube there are plenty of videos that you can find on the language of your choice.

-learn another skill: I chose to improve my computer skills but you can choose any skill it can be drawing, cooking whatever you want.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day4:celestial radiance

-work on self-love

-work on self-esteem

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day5:lunar dream

-spa day at home

-meditation

-listen to your favorite music

-watch your favorite series or films

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day6: lunar flight

-find your ikigai: that is to say your reason for being, explore your passions, your values and your talents to really find what motivates you here is an example:

-Black Swan mindset: the Black Swan mindset is about knowing your value and not letting others tell you your value, it is a mindset of trust and knowledge of your value.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚day7:moonlight beauty

become more feminine

1-have good posture: gives you more elegance, you seem taller and more confident.

2-smell good have a characteristic scent: could remind someone of you, smell good shows that you care about your hygiene.

3-Getting Your Nails Done: Getting your nails done could make you look confident and well-groomed.

4-style your hair: hair is a key point of your appearance and a good hairstyle could automatically make you even more beautiful.

5-wear jewelry: simple jewelry can enhance your outfit a lot and bring out your features.

things to do every day

☆ Workout

☆ Learn a new skill

☆ Listen to subliminals

☆ Meditate

☆ Read a book

☆ Do Journaling

☆ Listen to Podcasts

I'm going to start tomorrow and to stay organized and always have an idea of what I have to do I created a simple Notion if you want it's right here જ⁀➴

𝕄𝕆𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕀𝔾ℍ𝕋 BEAUTY

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elicathebunny · 8 months ago

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HOW TO REDUCE MALADAPTIVE DREAMING.

(suggestion post)

I have actually experienced this since the age of around 9 or 10 years and only managed to reduce and basically almost get rid of it after 5 or 6 years. I am no doctor or professional, so all of this is just by experience mixed with online research.

WHAT IS MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING?

Maladaptive daydreaming is a mental health issue that causes a person to lose themselves in complex daydreams. These daydreams are usually a coping mechanism for other mental health conditions or circumstances. It's common — but not required — for people who have this to have a history of childhood trauma or abuse.

SYMPTOMS:

Extensive, sometimes compulsive, absorption in fantasy for several hours a day

Inability to stop daydreaming

Having very detailed fantasies, including plot lines and characters

Having real-life reactions to fantasies, like facial expressions, body movements, or verbalizations

Difficulty concentrating or focusing on other things

Sleep problems (especially falling asleep)

Replacing human interaction

The urge to continue fantasizing when interrupted

In some cases, maladaptive daydreaming can also be characterized by the need for additional stimulation, which can be expressed through extensive book-reading, watching films, or gaming.

TRIGGERS:

some of the triggers may include listening to music on headphones, watching movies, and hearing specific conversation topics.

In addition to processing trauma, other causes of maladaptive daydreaming include:

Wish fulfillment

Entertainment (regulating boredom or isolation)

Regulating distress

MY EXPERIENCE: I would spend hours upon hours with storylines that I have had for years. Those stories gave me comfort and I would get lost in the experience of daydreaming. I would even put on music to put myself deeper in my thoughts and would get irritated if someone ruined my thought process by speaking to me. I realised it was a problem when I began to randomly fall into my daydreams without much control. Simple thinking turned into detailed storylines and I would constantly seem lost in thought and lose track of time. This obviously isn't helpful when you have important things to do when you need to focus. I would try to stop daydreaming but would always catch myself doing it because it become normal to me. All the characters and scenarios in my head represented me parts of me that I wish I was in real life, or even things I wanted to happen in my life. Sometimes the dreams happened so frequently that I couldn't differentiate between my memories and dreams. Before I acknowledged it as a problem I never actually wanted to get rid of it, such a big part of me would be lost. I had been daydreaming for such a long time that I became emotionally attached to the characters I had made.

WHAT HELPED ME:

Doing things that take up a lot of brain power and time: e.g. Doing a workout, Dancing, or Solving a difficult equation.

This gives you 0 time to even think about anything, let alone daydream. Go out with your friends, and force yourself into situations that require you to use your full attention. Because I never really went out much or did anything frequent enough to take up my day, I had too much time to myself and became stuck in my own head. Doing things and picking up extracurriculars, ANYTHING will help.

Because I am no longer at home as much as I used to and interact/learn new skills much more than I did before. I simply do not have time to be in my own head, I forced myself to learn to get out of my head and achieve the things I would daydream about.

I am now engaging in improving myself instead of dreaming about the version of myself/life I wanted so badly. Those dreams and characters were just glamorised versions of deep-rooted emotions I had left without facing them. Uncovering the true meaning of why I daydream and the details of the things I was daydreaming about will help you get out of the daze.

NOTES I'VE FOUND ON QUORA:

ONE:

Open up. Speak about it to others. Express yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You need not share your daydreams, just share that you daydream. It's okay.

Write your daydreams down, or type them out… whatever. Get them out of you to have a better look. They are trying to tell you something about yourself. Have you ever noticed that you can't completely control your daydreams? And when you do try to change something critical in your plot it just doesn't “feel right”?

Boil them down to mere feelings. Strip away all the illusory layers of good looks, grand mansions, heroic acts and so on. The truth lies in key moments where the characters feel something deeply for each other. Find those feelings, and question the difference between you and your characters. Ask what is blocking you from experiencing them for yourself.

Realize that you are the reality, not your characters. If you imagine a nobleman or a beautiful girl, it is your nobility and beauty that you impart to those. All your characters are merely objects animated by the light of your imagination and feelings.

Understand that all your daydreams have nothing to do with others, and everything to do with you, and your relationship with yourself. When you realize this, you stop comparing them with your real-world relationships and start relating them to various aspects of yourself.

Know that when you successfully come out of this, you will actually not lose the ability to daydream or run out of feelings to pour into your imagination. It is just that their purpose will have been served, and you will not resort to daydreaming again out of lack or compulsion. You may at any point daydream again and even use it as a tool to know what your Soul is trying to tell you. Yet, you will realize that a moment of self-awareness is more rewarding than a lifetime of daydreams.

TWO:

Here are some serious tips to avoid them:

First of all, make sure you really want to get rid of this, because a lot of MDers get emotionally attached to their imaginary characters.

Disable /avoid the triggers. Block YouTube if you have to. Those websites you visit. The images saved on your computer - delete them. Plenty of apps for that.

This might be rude, but start avoiding the topics or the friends who keep discussing these topics.

Get busy doing something else - take up a hobby, meet new people. Try to stay in public places or with other people. Plenty to do in life other than dreaming.

Avoid that one music/ song that acts as a trigger.

DO I STILL MD? Yea sometimes, but now It is an okay amount. It doesn't consume my life anymore.

#self improvement #maladaptive daydreaming #self growth #self help #self healing #self care #self awareness

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kaija-rayne-author · 1 month ago

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Some thoughts on Dragon Age Veilguard a couple weeks after playing/reviewing it.

Obligatory disclaimer, feel free to skip to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Note: My reviews for DA and my blog posts about DAV in particular aren't edited. I don't have the time, energy, or heart to edit them properly.

It's been 16 days since I finished DAV.

And sadly, my opinion still hasn't changed. Especially after learning about Joplin from my friend's artbook. (Joplin is the original concept and art concepts for the game. It had so much we were all really desperate to see. It was gorgeous. And they scrapped it.)

I don't know why they scrapped it, it was exactly what so many of us wanted.

Honestly? I don't care why. I'm sick of all the excuses people keep making for BioWare turning out such a shitty game.

Were there reasons and difficulties I don't know and will never know about? There usually are.

But those things are honestly irrelevant when it comes to producing a quality product.

I work my ever loving ass off to make sure my books are good. And I don't have a team to help me and a 250 million dollar budget. I do everything myself because I have to.

Indie studios turn out fantastic games with cool worlds, good fighting systems, and interesting monsters all the time. With some help and some budget, sure. But not likely on the scale of what they had for DAV.

I'm both a creator and an editor. When you're making a product for sale, it's incredibly foolish to change a series title too much from what worked before. Sure, fix problems, streamline stuff, but people generally don't play RPGs for anything past the worldbuilding, writing, story, and characters. There's action RPGs, sure. I'm playing one now and loving it (Greedfall).

It's a solid RPG that feels like an RPG. (DAV did not.) The fighting system works. The companions are actually useful. They kill bad guys all by themselves! It's quite refreshing tbh.

When you're creating something for fun, sure, do what the fuck ever you want as long as it isn't harmful to someone else. (Don’t put words in my mouth. By harmful, I mean specifically things like racism, sexism, ableism etc. Not whether someone dislikes the colour green and thinks the word 'triggered' means unhappy or uncomfortable. It doesn't. It's specifically a needed mental health term.)

When you're creating a product for sale, you make decisions. IE. I chose to write a reverse harem series. That's a choice influenced by the business reality that my queer books hardly sell at all.

I still love the characters and world I built, still love the plot etc. But it was still a decision on my part. Because my work of words is my only income. I'm disabled and recovering from a pulmonary embolism. My partner is recovering from a broken back and has at least one, possibly two more surgeries to go. We don't get very much help from anywhere. Money is so tight it squeaks. I'm hoping with the decision to write m/f reverse harem, my sales will improve (They already have with only two books out. Third before end of year.)

So. No. No more excuses for BioWare. They've always, from rumour, had a lot of control over the games they make, even if EA does pollute the studio by owning it.

Someone made the choices that resulted in such a shitty game. Someone approved the terrible (in some cases, racist, sexist, and ableist) writing. Someone thought the editing was just fine (it really really is not).

Someone (likely Epler given what he's said in interviews) decided that it was a good idea to Disney-fie the most recent addition to an adult, dark fantasy game that has historically delivered a lot of horror elements. While somehow condescending to kids at the same time.

Someone decided to remove so many of those dark fantasy elements. It's especially obvious in the not-fucking-darkspawn. They made them goofy, not scary and vaguely horror inspiring. But it's all throughout the game.

Someone made decisions. Those decisions made an awful game.

Someone decided tying your companions' skill points acquisition to their level of bond with you was a good idea. Maybe it looked good on paper. I don’t honestly care. It made it nigh impossible to get them high enough to be actually useful. Meaning your OP character always has aggro. Fine, I guess, if you're a tank player, but what about the rest of us?

Someone decided to remove blood splatter from a freaking BioWare game.

Someone decided to go with that wretched art style.

Someone decided nerfing the rogue class was a good idea. Why even have them? They're just light skirmishers, not rogues. Without, y'know, the rogue skills that make a rogue.

It was a decision, each and every time.

Someone decided everything about that game.

So miss me with the excuses.

I would like actual reasons, but I highly doubt we'll ever get them.

Someone made unwise and often foolish decisions during development of DAV. The results are clear.

Simply by the fact they aren't releasing sales numbers... that indicates it's probably not doing well. Larian basically called their earnings for BG3 out weekly.

It mostly just makes me sad now. DAV could've been fantastic. Because of decisions human beings in positions of power made, DAV, while having some good parts, just sucks.

#dragon age #solas #dragon age veilguard #solavellan #veilguard #da veilguard #dragonage #bioware critical #DAV

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xjulixred45x · 1 year ago

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Satoru Gojo/Suguru Geto x Carrie White like-Reader PLATONIC VER.

Genre: long Headcanons/Drabbles

Reader: female

Warnings: LONG POST, Reader has a Personalilty and background like Carrie White (of Stephen King) so, is very shy, quiet, kind but has traumas with BULLYING,kinda Religion themes, Gojo at first is kinda a Bad brother but changes, Reader has telekinesis/mental Powers, Angst/comfort, Fluff.

Thank you very much to @trancylovecraft and @thecuriousquest for the support in this idea!

Satoru Gojo

You and Satoru are sibilings with a little age gap, around 3-4 years.

I'll be honest, at the beginning of your life Satoru would hardly be present, but at least you always had someone taking care of you, whether it was your parents or servants of the Clan, you didn't miss his presence so much. that's what you thought until you were conscious enough to realize that the Gojo Clan only cares about your brother, and of course, the Six Eyes. You could understand it, your Ritual technique was good, but compared to Satoru, everything was at a very high bar. and at some point you could only depend on your parents, since the servants saw no point in taking care of you, the so-called "leftover" of the Clan. That was much more painful than your brother's lack of presence. although he eventually changed his focus to you.

Satoru would eventually get close to you and become sort of an annoying older brother. Although of course, due to the type of different upbringings they had (him being completely spoiled and you almost forgotten by the family) sometimes you felt that he was being very insensitive to you. It wasn't on purpose! Satoru simply took it for granted that you had been pampered like him. but it took him a while to realize that NO, you guys definitely didn't have the same kind of childhood. One way he tried to get closer to you was to just bother you a little, hoping that you would laugh with him or at least get a laugh out of you, but the only thing he managed to do was make you cringe at his words. Now understand that you probably took these jokes seriously rather than ironically. Then more signs appeared. Whether it was because of how unaccustomed you were to him (and he to you), your shy and reserved attitude, your few social skills-- although the final blow of reality came one day when he saw you sewing your own Kimonos/clothes. He thought at first it was a Hobby, but then he realized that he never saw you go shopping for clothes, or another member of the clan doing so. When he asked you directly you only answered what seemed most obvious to you "the clan should not spend money on someone like you."

It was somewhat of a turning point for Satoru. Yes, he was still somewhat annoying, but more present, more affectionate. He offered to train with you several times to improve your management of cursed energy, thanks to the 6 eyes, he could see that you had a lot of accumulated energy, and that could be something with a lot of potential or something very dangerous. He wanted to make sure it came first. and he was definitely quite worried when he saw you using them on your own. How come no one realized the destructive potential your ritual had? How dangerous it would be for you? Although he never blamed you. After this type of sessions the two of them would go together to eat sweets, according to him "it would help you stimulate your brain" and in a way it was, although it was also to prevent you from being so thin. It was his way of making up for his absence for so long. to be the brother you needed. Satoru is bad with emotions during his school days, but he definitely cares about you and your mental health. Thanks to this, he probably thought it would be better if you went to a normal school, with non-sorcerers. He thought you would be fine.

And at first, you were. It was nice to go a place where you weren't the shadow of your brother, and you some kind feel special.

but then the intimidation started. At first it was simply isolation, not inviting you to do jobs or eat with other colleagues, it was fine, you had gone through something similar with the clan, you could handle this. but it soon evolved into gossip and talking behind your back when I saw that you wouldn't do anything against the isolation and that no one was on your side. Still you were willing to put up with it. partly because you didn't want to bother Satoru with these kinds of "unimportant" problems as the adults made him out to be. Besides, they were Non-Sorcerers, it's not like you could do anything against that. and it was especially difficult when they moved on to direct attacks. attacking your desk, throwing your things in the trash, making you trip and having a bad time in PE-- There was a time when you got your period in the showers and you didn't bring towels, and your classmates started throwing tampons at you while they laughed. It was so horrible and you had so many repressed emotions that you blew out several light bulbs. The intern saved you that day and called your house. Satoru was furious, not with you, with your classmates. And when did you have to tell him about all the bullying of the year? oh he would be LIVID WITH ANGER. So he would decide that you would not return to that school, no sir, if necessary you would go alone to Jujutsu Tech when you are old enough, but with those people? no way.

He would also make sure that your classmates would be AT LEAST suspended for the rest of the year, AT THE VERY LEAST(he would probably make the School to expel them)

If we talk about your relationship with him today, he is much more open in his affection towards you, calling you nicknames, giving you physical signs of affection, etc. After all the trauma, he's not willing to let you think you don't deserve affection. (If there were to be a "bloody bath" incident...god, Satoru wouldn't just go after the students, HE WOULD GO AFTER THE ENTIRE DAMN INSTITUTION. and then get you a new dress, food and let you do whatever you want the rest of the time of the night, whether it's crying or eating, it's okay.) I can see him paying you therapy. Likewise, he is quite willing to teach you if you want to learn Wizardry but don't want to go to the academy, he will probably give you the same strange training as Yuji.

If there is a greater age difference between you that allows Gojo to be your teacher, don't hesitate that he will take the opportunity! Try not to be a favorite, seriously, but it's almost impossible.

If it is the case above, you will most likely live with him until you are older, try to act like a father, even if he is not that good, he is doing the best he can. If you don't want to be a Sorcerer and you prefer to have a more normal type of life, he supports it 100%, only he would have some conditions due to all the enemies he has, but apart from that, he can even pay for your college! or get you any job you want. (He would also even be calmer in this case if you seal your cursed ritual, the possibility of you having a stroke is so high it's scary). I don't think he'll like any partner you introduce him to unless they're a walking green flag, but he tolerates them as long as they're decent people and make you happy. (and he will definitely DESTROY any partner who lays a hand on you in any way, be it insults, raising a hand, any sign of abuse will be an instant NO and a free pass to get them out of your life.) You continue training your powers with him, at least now they are much more refined and controlled. Satoru makes it very clear, he is proud of the progress you have made :3

Satoru definitely cut off contact with the Gojo clan members who neglected you, and forced them to apologize to you. You even tell yourself that you are fine with them, it tastes better. He sees the consequences that his carelessness did to your vision of yourself, he will do whatever it takes to remedy it, including admitting that he was partly to blame too. I would take you to meet his students! especially Itadori, he believes that you could connect better with him due to several similarities they have. Megumi respects you much, much more than he could respect Gojo, and he definitely acts as an intimidating guard dog when you go out together. Rest assured that sometimes he has mistakenly called you "mom" but that is another topic. NOBARA ABSOLUTELY LOVES THE CLOTHES YOU MAKE!!! and when you tell him that it is not bought and that it is homemade, he is shocked and they have a very long talk about fashion and fabrics. it is very entertaining. The higher ups KNOW not to mess with you, Satoru made it very clear to them that any attempt to use you as a weapon would end with their heads on spears, or at the very least, they would lose two very important assets (you and him) so they stay at a distance. safe. In general, Satoru learned over the years to be the brother you deserve, he regrets not having been from the beginning, but he will spend his entire life making up for it and giving you what he KNOWS you deserve.

Suguru Geto

You are more younger than him, 4-5 years to say something.

From moment one, Suguru was a decent brother who became better the more you grew. He thought his parents would never fully understand his battles with seeing the curses, but he was happy that at least in your "childhood innocence" you believed him and supported him. The problem was that it was not childish innocence. He realized when you were 4-5 years old and he was 11. He saw you talking with a curse that he swore you had invented. but not. He ate it quickly (causing you to cry) and had the realization that you were just like him. From then on Suguru was the best brother imaginable in a way. You two were the only ones who understood each other at home, so Suguru was determined that you would NEVER have to endure the same kind of anguish that he went through because of his parents' honest ignorance. He always believed you when you told him about a curse (which 99% of the time was really there) and in general he tried to make everything less scary for you.

Thanks to this you have a very bright personality, you are very pretty, you loved learning things like sewing, combing your hair (with the help of Suguru), in general you wanted to be the best version of yourself. You even managed to learn how to use your ritual technique in a basic way! Suguru helped a lot with that, although when he went to Jujustu Tech, he was home a lot less, but you still managed to learn more on your own. It was when you entered high school that everything went to shit. You were so excited to have a new environment, but you also wanted to help. So on one of your first days you barely performed a ritual to exorcise a curse in your Classroom and caught another one. and apparently several colleagues saw it. and the rumors did not wait. "crazy", "lunatic", "schizophrenic" were some of your classmates' favorites, but you could handle it, you thought, because it was doing something good for them even if they didn't realize it. be good, be good, be good--

then the shower incident happened.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. They're just jokes, they're just jokes. you can handle this--

They began to corner you in the hallways, in the bathrooms, they made rounds to push you and pull your hair (half an hour of preparation to the pipe), they wrote things in your cabinet--

Every day it was harder to contain yourself, every day it was harder to pretend that you were doing things "right." and your classmates' comments repeated in your head like a loop. Your personality little by little faded more and more, that internal beauty was destroyed by external cruelty. and Suguru noticed this. Even if you tried to pretend otherwise at home, I could see something was wrong. but every time he wanted to talk about it with you you just said the same thing "Non-Sorcerers are complicated." and partly he thought that since schools are plagued with curses and you're very sensitive, that's probably the problem (and the fact that your classmates can't see them doesn't help).

but everything comes to a breaking point this year for both of us, even though you went first. There were several school crossover events, and you met a boy you got along with. very good. and the final event was a dance between both schools. He asked you if you wanted to go with him. You accepted. That week was when Suguru saw you the most cheerful in a long time, you insisted on making your own dress (even though he could buy it) but you asked him to make you a pretty hairstyle. He did the best he could and even helped you put on your makeup. You looked completely beautiful (your mother even took a photo). and your date was a nice guy! Suguru doesn't usually like any boy you bring home, but this one? He even brought you a very nice hair accessory, he was polite and above all he looked VERY happy to see you. He could tolerate it. Your father left them and your night was very good! They danced, they talked, they told stories, they ate something, they had a good time. but then they were called to the stage. You must have thought something was wrong. but you were so happy and radiant when they gave you the bouquet and the crown-- and then they threw what you wanted to believe was red paint at you. and the only thing you remember after that is LAUGHTER, shrill, hurtful, painful LAUGHTER. everything went blank in your mind. You shouldn't be here, you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't--- Your partner ran you off the stage and took you to a bathroom to help you clean yourself up a little. He even grabbed towels from the men's bathroom for you, but nothing was saved from turning red, not even the gift he gave you. Your makeup was ruined, your hair was ruined, your hair stank (that wasn't paint), your dress was stained, you were a mess... You called Suguru to go look for you, as soon as you hiccuped, he was ready to go with the rainbow dragons to kill your date, imagine his surprise when he arrived and found him giving you his jacket so you wouldn't be cold from the "painting" ( If it weren't the worst possible time and his growing hatred for Non-Sorcerers, Suguru would be planning your wedding with him).

When you two get home, you run to your room and refuse to get out or let Someone get in for the rest of the night. Suguru could feel his heart CRUSH when he heard you crying your eyes out and wondering WHY why they hate you so much?

Suguru knows why. Because the Non-Sorcerers would never understand people like you or him, that you are blessed, they are jelous, and they can't have what You have. He would console you, say that they're are just ungreatfull people who don't understand how lucky they were to have You.

If we are talking about your current relationship with him, is pretty good. Even thoug all the things he does.

Mimiko and Nanako LOVE you, the same as Geto nothing less, and are REALLY protective when it comes to You, they specially love when you go out with them or when You make them clothes(they will use them until the fabric rots). All the Family see you as a second in command, the Right hand woman, the rightfull to lead in case Geto is no around.

If You can, they will ask You to make them float with your Powers, is very fun for them, and absolutly LOVE see You in battle, they Say You're a complete Badass. And the rest of the family thinks the same, but try to make you not use them that often.

You and Suguru are still close, although of course, it's a little strange now. you love your brother so much and believe absolutely everything he tells you, even turning a blind eye to the fact that he killed YOU TWO's parents, but you want to believe it's for the greater good. other than that he is still a loving brother. It encourages you to talk to him and the family about your trauma and thus be able to overcome it more easily, and even leave alive some people in your circle of friends who can see curses.

(honestly the only Non-Sorcerer he would leave alive would be your date from the "bloody bath" incident) he keeps doing your hair! but now they are even more intricate and beautiful, he has the help of Mimiko and Nanako for that. Apart from the fact that it greatly encourages your hobby of making clothes (it is likely that you made the twins' clothes at the beginning and they will thank you for life). Now you have quality fabrics to work with and several extra hands (IMAGINE MAKING CLOTHES FOR GETO OR FAMILY MEMBERS). Even Geto has several "disciples" of the cult work as your assistants and servants exclusively. (to say that he will cut out their tongues if they do anything remotely bad against you is an understatement)

In general he gives you all the control you could want, almost at the level of his own, even things like your food, your clothes (traditional too), your room, everything has the same quality and care as Geto receives and everyone knows it, they must treat you the same as him, with fear, submission and devotion.

Geto can't help but feel great pride very time you go to fight and show your most brutal side. He makes sure to clean the monkey blood off of you when you get home and tell you that, how proud he is of you. Unlike Gojo, he makes sure that you have your abilities as an extension of yourself, not only so that you generate immunity to side effects, but to show you more directly his point of view. Do you see how you, him and the family are Superior to the monkeys? Do you see the difference your blessing makes? In general, he is a loving brother who, now that he has the resources, will create the perfect world for the family, for the Sorcerers and, above all, for you. It's the least you deserve after all.

Thank you for reading ❤️

Ahhhhh the Exams are KICKING MY ASS!! But i have a few ideas ti work with. Love ya❣️

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cashandprizes · 8 months ago

Text

The Boring CBT Final for the Fun CBT King - By Lexi Moon aka CashAndPrizes

Okay! People asked and I fought tumblr to deliver!

Hi, I'm CashAndPrizes also known as Lexi Moon, and I am a doctoral student studying clinical psychology. I wrote about Redacted (specifically Lasko) for my final for Cognitive Behavioral Therapies. Here's the paper.

Shout out to my beloved friends in the WhoreHome and W.A.R. for keeping me going through this paper. I love you dearly.

Words of warning:

I am a clinician in training. I am still being supervised. I have not been graded on this final yet. (I'll update when I get it!) And I am definitely not an expert. Take everything here with a grain of salt.

I am not a licensed therapist but even if I was I am not your therapist. I'm play acting as Lasko's therapist for a class. Take everything here with a grain of salt. If you read any of this and think "It's a bit loud in here" do not assume this is absolutely you. If you have the means, please try finding your own mental health professionals and if you don't, please do a lot of research on these subjects. Don't use this as a diagnosis please, I'm just a guy.

I filled in a lot of Lasko's backstory based on my experiences with patients and my beloved Lasko kinnies who were instrumental to the writing of this paper. (I won't tag you and call you out, but you know who you are an I love you.) Your headcanons might be different - that's cool. I'm not claiming canon over most of this - but I did use the transcripts and timeline very heavily.

If you don't like the idea of pansexual, transgender, Indo-Caribbean/Trinidadian child of immigrants Lasko - pookie this might not be for you. If that sounds like your jam though - come on in, the water's fine.

Without further ado. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Mambo Number Five. Here's Lasky. I can, in fact, fix him.

Case Summary

This case conceptualization addresses the hypothetical course of treatment for Lasko Moore, a character in a modern-fantasy audio narrative. Lasko Moore presented to treatment as a 30-year-old pansexual and transgender Indo-Caribbean man working as an administrator and adjunct professor at Dahlia Academy for Magical Novices for persistent anxiety symptoms. Upon intake, Lasko reported experiencing near constant racing thoughts that he was unable to “turn off”, panic attacks, and increased anxiety about social interactions at his work. He described spending a significant amount of mental energy preparing for and reviewing social interactions with colleagues such that he often avoids his colleagues in an effort to minimize his anxiety. Lasko reported that the anticipation around coworker interactions (meetings, socials, etc.) becomes quickly overwhelming as he becomes preoccupied with what he will say and do in an effort to try and minimize his tendency to become hyperverbal and overshare information as well as stuttering. He described this process as starting with embarrassment over previous interactions which leads to critical thoughts like “I shouldn’t be so anxious” which leads to rehearsal of potential outcomes of interactions. However, in the moment of social interactions he becomes so anxious as there “aren’t any objectives [or] any specific roles” to the conversations that he “word vomits” and becomes tangential and overshares until he runs out of breath and stops himself from talking due to his own critical thoughts and begins to isolate himself.

Lasko was initially diagnosed with Panic Disorder (F41.0) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder (F41.1) to capture his persistent anxious state with occasional intense bouts of extreme anxiety and panic. An initial long-term goal was collaboratively set as improving his coping strategies and tolerance of anxious affect to better network and create relationships. As this was Lasko’s first time utilizing mental health services, treatment began with inhibitory learning in combination with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in order to facilitate willingness to experience interoceptive cues and extinguish avoidance due to fear of negative consequences. This was able to reduce his panic attacks as he felt more able to tolerate overwhelming anxious affect. Despite his clear engagement with treatment through attendance, homework, and skills practice, Lasko continued to struggle with critical thoughts and avoidance of coworkers which he identified as a major barrier to his continued professional development and potential non-academic relationships. Through collaborative exploration, a persistent early maladaptive schema relating to his critical thoughts emerged and treatment shifted to a goal of starting dialogue between schema modes to facilitate the use of coping strategies to build interpersonal effectiveness. Lasko was born as the human-born child of Trinidadian immigrants who moved the southern California in the early 1990s due to political unrest. From an early age Lasko faced high academic expectations from his parents who desired upward mobility for their child and a “piece of the American Dream.” His mother was emotionally labile to the point of explosive outbursts where his father was more passive and spent significant energy working and caring for his wife. This experience started Lasko’s early maladaptive schema regarding rigid standards with no support, which only became worse when Lasko’s elemental powers began developing at thirteen and his parents expected perfect control (and perfect suppression) of his powers with no training and a highly critical environment. This led to Lasko isolating himself at home as much as possible to hide his lack of control but left him with an environment that created a positive feedback loop where his lack of control led to increased yelling and criticism which led to worsening outbursts of his powers. This culminated in a final traumatic event when Lasko was seventeen and lost control of his powers, leading to his mother “calling [him] everything she could think of […] she was so loud and I just wanted her to stop” to the point that Lasko accidentally sucked all of the air out of the room and almost suffocated his mother. Though Lasko was able to find support with the Department of Uniform Magical Practices and become emancipated from his parents, these experiences developed a maladaptive pattern of hypercritical thinking about himself, especially in the context of social relationships.

Research

Avelino Cardoso et al. (2023) pose potential ways to modify and apply Schema Therapy to sexual and gender minorities. This work focuses on understanding how of harmful implicit and explicit messages about gender and sexuality contribute to early maladaptive schemas based on consideration of the minority stress model, and how Schema Therapy interventions can be applied to sexual and gender minorities. One area of particular relevance from this article is the conceptualization of an inner critic mode that specifically represents stereotypes and prejudice that are naturalized by society. When applying these principles to the case of Lasko, the environment of his childhood can be understood as an essential aspect of the treatment. Though Lasko did not present to treatment looking to discuss the impact of his pansexuality and transgender identity, potentially because of the clinician’s own advertised identities, the impacts of systemic oppression against sexual and gender minorities can be woven into treatment for his hypercritical early maladaptive schema. Based on the suggestions of Avelino Cardoso et al. (2023), it may be worth examining his secondary schemas around shame and social isolation as also being shaped by his experience as a gender and sexual minority and how that may contribute to his predominant hypercritical schema.

A major concern for this section of the paper is the lack of research modifying second and third wave cognitive behavioral therapies for sexual and gender minorities. Results for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with LGBTQ+ individuals only revealed one article about group therapy and a study proposal; results for Schema Therapy with LGBTQ+ individuals only provided Avelino Cardoso et al.’s (2023) theoretical essay. There does not appear to be much research and what research exists is extremely limited with no randomized control trials. This makes it clear that evaluating the efficacy of treatment for sexual and gender minorities is not a priority, which leads to a major critique of Avelino Cardoso et al.’s work. Though the article is useful for considering how to address systemic change in the room, it seems to attribute lived experiences of sexual and gender minorities to a schema rather than ongoing threats in a world where hate crimes and discrimination against LGBTQ+ individuals is on the rise. The abandonment and violence that these individuals may face is not imagined and it can be seen in the lack of interest in research.

ADDRESSING Model

When considering the case of Lasko, it is important to remember that psychology does not develop in the vacuum of individual experiences – psychology develops based on the global environment, which includes the social, political, economic, and cultural contexts as well as individual context. Utilizing Hays (2022) ADDRESSING Model, the impact of Lasko’s intersecting identities can be understood to have a major impact on his current symptom presentation and the development of early maladaptive schemas and schema modes. Lasko was born to first generation immigrants from Trinidad with strong Indo-Caribbean and Catholic roots – and he was assigned female sex at birth. Using a systems-focused lens, Lasko’s current symptoms can also be understood within the larger context of living in a world where several aspects of his identity are under intense scrutiny and political debate. As a child of immigrants and as someone Indo-Caribbean, Lasko likely faced explicit and implicit messages about his intellectual capabilities, his body, and his work ethic. While Lasko directly experienced his mother as extremely critical and never satisfied with his performance, it is just as likely that he received messages as a child about needing to work harder than many of his same aged peers for equal amounts of recognition based on his racial, ethnic, and sex assigned at birth. There is also the element of the disconnect between his sex assigned at birth and his gender presentation, and the messages he received about being transgender from his Catholic, Trinidadian immigrant parents as well as the American culture – which were likely discouraging at best and hostile at worst.

Keeping all of this in mind, Lasko’s hypercritical, social isolated, and emotional deprived schemas can be understood as also being a direct result of the intersection of his identities – and this does not even cover the added layer of being an empowered human-born. In a variety of ways, Lasko has had very different experiences than his peers by virtue of being a transgender, pansexual, child of unempowered human immigrants. When Lasko describes feeling different from the people around him growing up and when he entered the empowered world, this is a real experience based on the multiple identity intersections – it is not hard to believe that he did not have many friends or family members between the late 1990s and late 2000s that had similar experiences to him. This left him with the acute sense that he was fundamentally different and needed to work much harder than those around him, and also that to get validation he needed to sacrifice his needs (or identities) for those of others.

Methodology

The initial treatment approach for Lasko was a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and inhibitory learning with interoceptive and in vivo exposure, which was successful in decreasing his panic symptoms but not generalized anxiety symptoms. Lasko reported that he experienced sudden panic attacks that seemed random and included symptoms such as accelerated heart rate, tightness in his chest, hyperventilation, feeling that he would lose control, sweaty palms, and loss of control over his magic. At the time of treatment, he reported that he had been having at least one panic attack every other month since he was a teenager and that they would occur more frequently when he was in periods of intense stress. After exploration, Lasko was able to determine that he often had panic attacks related when he spends time ruminating in anticipation of social interactions. Lasko explained that during panic attacks he tends to seek quiet, dark places to hide and “ride out” the panic attack and that he has thoughts like “I’m going to mess this up” or “I can’t do this.”

Treatment started with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and inhibitory learning as an evidence-based approach for treating panic attacks and generalized anxiety to address his symptoms and reduce further panic attacks as well as his anxious thought patterns (Barlow, 2021; Ruiz et al, 2020). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a therapeutic practice that focuses on improving psychological flexibility and understanding the function of behavioral patterns (Gordon & Borushok, 2017). Much of early treatment with Lasko consisted of psychoeducation around the therapeutic process, behavioral therapy, and mindfulness. He took easily to ACT and benefited from understanding how avoiding social interactions was negatively reinforced by decreasing his anxiety while keeping him from creating connection. Inhibitory learning through multiple types of exposure (in-vivo and interoceptive) was able to make him more comfortable with feeling panicked, effectively reducing his panic attacks (Ramnero & Törneke, 2008). However, his baseline anxious affect and negative thoughts did not ease despite the use of ACT, so treatment shifted towards understanding the function of his persistent negative thoughts through Schema Therapy.

Lasko’s symptom presentation after several sessions of ACT and inhibitory learning was a persistent anxious affect and worry (especially around social situations) that felt uncontrollable and critical ruminative thoughts. As it seemed treatment had plateaued, the content of sessions moved towards a deeper understanding of his critical thoughts based on an indication of deeply held early maladaptive schemas. Barlow defines early maladaptive schemas as persistent behavioral, cognitive, and relational themes developed in early childhood that are reinforced throughout lifetime and that cause significant disruption and dysfunction (2021). Schemas are often viewed as truths about the self and others and are difficult to challenge because of the deep affective component and lifetime of reinforcement (Barlow, 2021). Movement towards schema work started with psychoeducation which involved discussing how schemas are reinforced through modeling (in this case by his mother’s critical comments about his performance) and how people can often act in ways that reconfirm schemas into adulthood. Lasko then completed the Young Schema Questionnaire - Revised and received high scores on schemas related to emotional deprivation, social isolation, and unrelenting standards (Rijkeboer, 2015). During the debriefing and explanation of the results, Lasko reported that when he was completing the questionnaire he felt “really seen” in a way that was uncomfortable but also validating to his experiences in childhood and as a queer person of color living in America.

The topic of sessions then moved towards further psychoeducation about the process of schema work, including delving into his schemas and determining schema modes with the goal of improving his understanding of schemas and working towards healthier integration of modes and coping strategies (Barlow, 2021). Lasko was committed to treatment but apprehensive about “what would come up,” speaking to his concerns about dredging up uncomfortable memories and feelings. In response, he was encouraged to revisit his understanding of ACT and his core values as a reminder of why he wanted to continue treatment and work through feelings of discomfort and grief. The next session started proper schema work, starting with Lasko explaining his understanding of schemas and how they were currently impacting him. He aptly summarized that his childhood experience of feeling intense pressure to do well academically and conform to socially and religiously defined gender roles left him feeling isolated from his peers and that he always needed to work harder and do more, while also feeling as though he had no support or anyone who truly understood him – this led to the development of schemas related to emotional unrelenting standards, social isolation, and emotional deprivation.

The first step of schema work was to identify schema modes as recommended by Barlow (2021). Lasko completed the Young Schema Mode Inventory (YSMI) as homework (along with his regular thought and feeling records) and scored highly in the following modes: vulnerable child, compliant surrenderer, detached self-soother, punitive parent, and demanding parent (Lobbestael, 2015). With this in mind, the next session started with reviewing his thought and emotion records as a baseline for identifying schema modes. Lasko was able to sort different thoughts and feelings into categories that broadly resembled the categories for child modes, coping modes, and parent modes, but he struggled to come up with names for them. He eventually decided on “Young Lasko” to describe his vulnerable child mode, “The Doormat” to describe his compliant surrenderer mode, and “The Critic” to describe his punitive and demanding parent modes with suggestions from the therapist based on his results on the YSMI. Lasko was overwhelmed with sadness and fear during this session, describing how hard it was to name and admit these schemas out loud and how scared and vulnerable he felt. He reported a heavy weight on his chest and how badly he wanted to hide from the therapist and his own internal experience, and his wavering control over his powers was evident by the rustling of papers in the room. The second half of the session was dedicated to using ACT and mindfulness techniques to sit with the almost intolerable affect without judgement. The session closed with a discussion of how he could focus on his value of self-care after the session and he decided that he had plans to meet with his friend group the next day and try to talk with them about his feelings as a form of self-care and confirming his acceptance in his friend group.

The following session he reported that his conversation with his friend group had gone “really well, better than [he] expected” and the session started by discussing how this did not conform to his expectations as a way to integrate the initial phase of inhibitory learning into the present. The conversation then moved to re-introducing the names for his schema modes and utilizing a combination of mindfulness skills and reaffirmation of his core values to give a voice to those modes and their needs by recommendation of Barlow (2021). Lasko explored that “Little Lasko” felt “awful, awful all the time” and was a sad little boy trapped in a girl’s body who “[held] onto all the bad stuff” including feelings of being completely isolated from others and deep sadness. Lasko further explored that “The Doormat” was a representation of how he had worked so hard in school and at home to make everyone else happy and that by avoiding his own needs and wants (for self-expression, acceptance, nurturance, joy, etc.) he thought he would get his needs met. At this point in treatment, discussing “The Critic” was still too affectively laden so discussion started with the first two with the goal of working up to “The Critic.” Based on guidelines from Barlow (2021), the next few sessions focused on identifying the ways these schemas had developed within his childhood and how they had once been adaptive and essential for his survival. Lasko’s homework between these sessions was to read handouts given by the therapist about schema modes and the ways they are internalized throughout childhood. Lasko was also willing to try journaling once a week from the perspective of either “Little Lasko” or “The Doormat” to better understand how integral they had been to his survival.

Session Description

This transcript describes the first part of the schema work, where Lasko began to identify and label schemas with prompting from the therapist. Rather than just using the terms from the YSMI, Lasko was encouraged to create his own meaning to better represent his own understanding of the schema modes based on evidence-based methods from Barlow (2021). The goal of this session was to help Lasko observe the schema modes based on his thought and feeling record from the previous week and start thinking of the modes as parts of him that were observable separate from himself.

Therapist: You’ve summed up schemas and how they work, and I don’t even have anything else to add. Lasko: I really, um, want to make sure you know I’m serious about this. I want to get better, I want to be better. Therapist: It feels like it’s really important for you to feel like I know how hard you’re working right now. Lasko: Yeah, well… Yeah, I don’t want you to think I’m not doing the work. Therapist: It’s interesting because you’re the one paying for sessions, you know? While I’m glad that we are working together towards your goals, what you get out of this is really up to you. Can we talk more about how you want to make sure I know you’re working hard? I think that’s really tied to this whole schema thing I’m trying to sell you on. Lasko: I’m already sold on it! Therapist: [Hm] Lasko: … That’s… that’s what you mean, isn’t it? Therapist: [Affirmative hm] Lasko: Fuck – sorry – shit! I um… I feel like I need to prove to you that I’m listening and trying really hard. Therapist: What will happen if I think you aren’t trying? Lasko: Well, you won’t take me seriously – at all. You’ll think I’m wasting your time and that I should – I need to be doing more and taking it seriously. Therapist: And how would I be feeling with you? Lasko: Angry, because I’m wasting your time – but I’m not, or I don’t want to. I don’t want to waste your time, you have so many other patients you could be seeing and if I’m not doing what I should be doing then I’m just- I’m taking up space someone else could be using and they probably need it more than me. I mean, I’m fine you know, I’m anxious but I can survive, right? There’re people out there who need your time more than me and I’m wasting it – or I would be. I’m not – I don’t think I’m wasting your time right now except I keep rambling. Therapist: There’s a through-line in there that I want to pull. You feel like you need to do what I expect you to do, right? Lasko: Yeah, I mean you’re the therapist. You’re the expert with – all the experience and degrees. So yeah, I should be doing what you expect. Therapist: It sounds like there’s some part of you that feels like you need to be doing what I say you should do, even if you don’t want to or have something else to say – like your “rambling” – and that if you don’t, you’re wasting my time. Does that feel right?

Lasko: I want to do this, I do. But um, yeah. That feels right. Therapist: And you do what I say you should do because if you don’t…? Lasko: Well I’m wasting your time. And then you’ll – I mean you probably won’t, you’re a really nice person and you’re so helpful but I just… I have this thought that you’ll get mad at me. Therapist: I would be mad at you. What would I do if I was mad at you? Lasko: You would um… Well I know you wouldn’t, because you just – you’re not like that but like my mom would start screaming at me. She would just… she would just yell and tell me that I was wasting their money because I wasn’t doing well enough at the school they paid for me to go to you know? Or I messed up the nice clothes they paid for. Or I just – anything like that really, I was wasting money and time and I was a waste of space and… Fuck – sorry – wait, um. This is hard to talk about and I don’t want to cry. Therapist: This is really hard, I’m really putting you through it already today, aren’t I? Lasko: [Affirmative hm] Therapist: I want to take what you just said and kind of summarize, kind of explain, is that okay? So, it sounds like you have these thoughts that you aren’t trying hard enough – or at least that I don’t think you’re trying hard enough, right? And these thoughts serve to make sure that you show me how hard you’re working so that I believe you, because if I don’t, I might think you’re wasting my time and become angry and yell at you. Lasko: That’s a really succinct way to put it, but yeah. Therapist: So what I think is happening here, is that there’s a part of you that is so terrified that I will become angry and yell at you and make you feel just awful about yourself. And to deal with that, there’s another part of you that works really hard to try and anticipate and meet my needs so I won’t become angry with you. And then there’s also this third part of you, this part that is so critical and reminds you of how scary I could become if I got angry with you and kind of beats me to the punch by being mean first. And all three of these parts were working together in those last few minutes. Lasko: Wow… yeah, that um… you hit the nail right on the head. That feels right. It’s not – um, it’s not really great for me, though. Therapist: What I’d like to do is start by giving a voice to these parts of you, just letting them speak. Do you think we could do that? Lasko: That… That sounds really awful. But, yeah we can… we can do that. Therapist: And here I am, asking you to do these terrible things you don’t want to do and you’re doing them with me anyway. Lasko: That’s the um.. that part of me that tries to meet your needs, right? That’s what you said? Therapist: I think so. I really want to hear more from that part of you.

At this point in the transcript, the therapist was using a combination of techniques to try and get closer to the schemas that were indicated in Lasko’s dialogue. There was a mix of rephrasing/restating what Lasko had said with the dual purpose of making sure the therapist understood and phrasing things in a way that would lead to more dialogue about schemas. The therapist in this section also started outlining the core schema modes operating at the moment in broad terms to gauge Lasko’s ability to tolerate and explore them further with the intention of eventually moving towards labeling schema modes. In this section, it is becoming clear that Lasko’s persistent anxiety about the therapy (proving he is engaged enough) is a result of active schema modes that attempt to anticipate and meet the therapist’s needs to prevent criticism and anger on the part of the therapist. This insight from the conversation can be broadened to potentially explain the utility of Lasko’s critical thoughts and anxiety around social interactions – he spends so much time preparing and planning for these interactions to try and anticipate and meet the needs of others to prevent criticism and anger from his peers, the mere idea of which causes deep feelings of fear and sadness, by criticizing himself first.

Therapist: I think so. I really want to hear more from that part of you. Lasko: I mean – geez, what should I say? Therapist: Maybe we could start with what that feels like…? Lasko: It feels like I’m always guessing, trying to figure it out. I feel like I have to do everything right, try harder, do more…I feel like I always need to be doing more, doing it better. Therapist: What emotions does this part of you have? Lasko: Um, I don’t – I don’t know. Therapist: Do you think I should bring out your old friend the feelings wheel? Lasko: Yeah that might – might help. You know how much I love the wheel. Yeah – um, I guess I feel… inadequate? Maybe… Therapist: Can I suggest something that I’m sensing in you? Lasko: Please, you’re way better at this than me. Therapist: I’m wondering if this part of you feels desperate. Lasko: Yes, desperate. Therapist: Desperate… it feels like there’s more to that. Desperate for what, do you think? Lasko: Desperate… desperate to please – desperate to get it right. Therapist: Wow… desperate to please feels really powerful. I see you rubbing your chest right now, what are you feeling? Lasko: It’s like… my chest feels tight – a little like when I have panic attacks. Therapist: That connection feels really important. What do you make of that? Lasko: I feel – I’ve felt desperate when I’ve had panic attacks before. Like desperate for air, which is just – it’s funny as an air elemental you know, well not funny-funny, but it’s just – anyway, it’s like desperate for air but it’s also like I’m desperate for… I don’t know how to phrase it…? For it to stop, yeah, but also like I… I want to do things right when I talk to people but I always fuck it up – sorry – wait, don’t apologize Lasko. Sorry, I – sorry – fuck. I just- I want to have better interactions with people! I want things to go better and to communicate better so people like me and – I don’t know. Therapist: So people like you… do you think that’s what this part of you wants? Lasko: Yes – so badly… So badly it hurts. Therapist: It hurts in your chest, right there? Lasko: Yeah… it’s tight and heavy and then I start crying because I’m just – I’m a mess. Therapist: You’re feeling so much right now, and you’re doing it because I said we should. Lasko: Well… yeah, it’s um – it sucks but you know better than me. Therapist: That seems to be a thought you have a lot, we’ve talked about it before on your thought and emotion records – and I think it’s really tied to this part of you. Lasko: I mean… maybe, yeah. Therapist: What do you think you could name this part? How do you think we could refer to it? Lasko: Like a name? What kind of name…? Therapist: It’s really up to you, I think it’ll be more helpful to use whatever you think is the best way to describe it rather than my clinical-ese jargon. Lasko: I don’t… I don’t really know. I’m not good at this kind of thing. Can’t you – you can just name it, right? Therapist: I could, but I feel like if I name it we’re staying in this pattern where you just acquiesce to my demands. Lasko: Which is like – the whole point of this, yeah. Therapist: Exactly. What feels hard about thinking of a name? Lasko: I don’t – I don’t want to pick some stupid name that I have to use, and you’ll think “wow that was a really stupid name choice, I should have picked it.” Therapist: [Hm] Lasko: Yeah, you don’t have to say anything, I hear it. Also, I just… naming it feels so real, you know? Then it’s a real thing. Therapist: And there’s something about it being “a real thing” then? Lasko: Then I’d… I’d have to talk about – acknowledging all of it – that feels really awful. I feel like I can’t breathe right now. Therapist: I can feel the air becoming thin too. Why don’t we take a few moments and just notice how you’re feeling and breathe through it?

This section of the transcript starts to explore and move towards labeling the schema mode of the Compliant Surrenderer. This mode attempts to anticipate and meet the needs of his hypercritical Punitive and Demanding Parent mode to protect his Vulnerable Child mode, which becomes clear in the transcript as he verbalizes that this part of himself is desperate to do well (whatever that may look like) so that others will like him. Just sitting with this part of himself causes Lasko almost intolerable feelings of desperation and panic, likely due to his fear of his Punitive and Demanding Parent mode as well as a fear of criticism and rejection from the therapist.

Closing Thoughts

I really enjoyed this case and this paper. While I didn't choose a current patient, I feel that I got a lot out of this assignment. It was really interesting to think formally about a character and work through a treatment plan and focus on a specific element of treatment. I managed to pick a case where I got to implement schema therapy, which is one of the forms of CBT that I find most interesting in addition to ACT. Despite this being a fictional character, I have certainly had previous patients who have similar struggles – and I also felt that I was able to use the media (and my previous experience to fill in gaps) to make the most of this assignment for my learning.

As I was working on this case, it occurred to me that though I felt like I was able to portray this character as accurately as possible I felt like so much was missing or unaccounted for. Because I was working from a CBT rather than psychodynamic lens, I felt like there were clear points where I would have ideally worked more relationally to address resistance or spoken more about the therapeutic relationship. There are always a million different things you could pick out of a patient’s response to respond to, and it was challenging to focus more on the schemas rather than talk about the relationship. I also felt like because of the limits of this paper, I did not have enough space to talk in the methodology or transcript session about how I felt his identities played a part in the development of his schemas. In this example, it was very clear to me that Lasko’s experiences of his parents were only part of the equation as development does not exist in a vacuum – there is a reality that his identity as a pansexual, transgender, Indo-Caribbean, second-generation immigrant and his experiences of xenophobia, racism, heterosexism, and transphobia would have also impacted his feelings of isolation/difference from others and internalized pressure to present and perform well. I also think that this would have been something I discussed in subsequent sessions as I believe this is another function of his schemas – to protect and prepare himself from his experiences of a hostile, sometimes violent world.

References

Avelino Cardoso, B. L., Paim, K., Figueiredo Catelan, R., & Liebross, E. H. (2023). Minority stress and the inner critic/oppressive sociocultural schema mode among sexual and gender minorities. Current Psychology, 42(23), 19991–19999. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-022-03086-y

Barlow, D. H. (2021). Clinical handbook of psychological disorders: a step-by-step treatment manual. Sixth edition. New York, The Guilford Press.

Hays, P. A. (2022). Addressing Cultural Complexities in Counseling and Clinical Practice: An Intersectional Approach. Fourth edition. Washington DC: American Psychological Association.

Lobbestael, J. (2015). Validation of the Schema Mode Inventory. In M. van Vreeswijk, J. Broersen, & M. Nadort (Eds.), The Wiley‐Blackwell Handbook of Schema Therapy: Theory, Research, and Practice (pp. 541–552). Wiley-Blackwell.

Ramnero, J., & Törneke, N. (2008). ABCs of human behavior: Behavioral principles for the practicing clinician. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger & Reno, NV: Context Press.

Rijkeboer, Marleen (2015). Validation of the Young Schema Questionnaire. In M. van Vreeswijk, J. Broersen, & M. Nadort (Eds.), The Wiley‐Blackwell Handbook of Schema Therapy: Theory, Research, and Practice (pp. 531-540). Wiley-Blackwell.

Ruiz, F. J., Luciano, C., Flórez, C. L., Suárez-Falcón, J. C., & Cardona-Betancourt, V. (2020). A multiple-baseline evaluation of acceptance and commitment therapy focused on repetitive negative thinking for comorbid generalized anxiety disorder and depression. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00356

Home. (n.d.). Redacted Audio. Retrieved May 5, 2024, from https://redacted-audio.com/

Appendix

Character and Media Primer

Redacted Audio is an urban-fantasy audio narrative on YouTube that centers around the fictional city of Dahlia in southern California and its inhabitants (“Home”, n.d.). In this urban-fantasy world, people are separated into four categories: unempowered humans; empowered humans, which can be further broken down into elementals and energetics (people with control over the four elements, gravity, sound waves, magnetics, psychokinesis, telepathy, seers, or a jack of all trades) and shifters (e.g.: werewolves); vampires, who are turned unempowered or empowered humans that feed on blood to survive, have superhuman speed and senses, and cannot go out in the sun; and demons, beings of pure magic that are not necessarily evil or good. The character I have chosen is an empowered human who was born to unempowered human parents – a human-born – which is a rare kind of person who often faces discrimination and barriers to learning how to control their magic. Lasko is an administrator and adjunct faculty member at the Dahlia Academy of Magical Novices, which is essentially magical community college where students (of any age) can learn mastery over either their specialty or all aspects of empowered human magic. The Dahlia Academy of Magical Novices operates as a school under the larger Department of Uniform Magical Practices, which oversees magical practices, ethics, and maintains the covert status of magic. Lasko specifically has natural control over the element of air, giving him an increased lung capacity and control over air (making wind currents, taking air out of the room, making tornados, etc. – think air benders in Avatar: The Last Airbender if you are familiar), but chose to complete his full certification at The Dahlia Academy of Magical Novices to have a better understanding of all types of magic. He teaches an introductory class on magic for incoming students as a way to provide a less discriminatory experience for other human born students.

ACT Hexaflex

YSQ-R Table

YSMI Table

That's all, folks!

#speed run #redacted #redactedasmr #redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted lasko

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