#and it all feels so big and i am very small

[tobioapple]

BABY JUST MAKE ME CUM, AND DON’T MAKE A SOUND! ; ur fav + videotaping

notes: hi!! apple here, this is a short drabble before i post something longer im working on, i hope you can forgive any mistakes since i'm not a fluent english speaker, just a gooner with a dream. Reblog and like if you enjoy! I got a lil lazy at the end sorry and also I couldn't wait for my beta reader I just wanted to publish this so m sorry

C.W: blowjobs, fem!reader, creampies, breeding kink, raw sex, pet-naming, dubcon (if you squint)

Guys that tape your faces as they’re fucking your throat, balls crashing onto your chin while the most obscene of noises fill the place, echoing within the four walls of your shared bedroom. He loves to pinch at your nose, making you choke and gag around his cock, stealing groans from his lips. 

He’s so sure there is nothing more beautiful than your face all covered in tears and spit, eyes glossy and makeup all messed up due to how his tip hits at the very back of your throat, bruising it harshly. He has to capture this; it would be a shame not to when you’re looking all pretty for him. He reaches for his phone, focusing the lens just right to capture every single part of you.

You look at the camera, half-lidded doe eyes. as you pull away from him, a small smirk tugs at your face, your head tilting to the right as if asking him what was on his mind.

“What? Can’t a man frame his girl taking it like a dumb cockwhore?” He is clearly having the time of his life, and you can’t help but rub your thighs together to his words. You were a slut for him. “Might as well just send this to those boys that hover around you like dogs in heat lookin’ for a fleshlight to put their dicks in. Would you like that?” You shake your head in disagreement and he just nods “Then, be good and make me finish, will ya?”

So, with nothing but pliancy you take a breath and mouth his girth, obeying his command. It doesn’t take long until he's panting, and so you remain still, letting him mouthfuck you to his liking, only existing to pleasure him. His fingers grip at your hair harshly, his motions becoming more deliberate, desperate to get rid of the gnawing sensation plaguing his throbbing member. Finally, after a few, you can feel the thick liquid spilling all over your tongue. His hand seizes your jaw dominantly, tilting it enough to make you face the camera, “Show ‘em, love” he mutters– with that singular demand, you shamelessly extend your tongue, displaying his spill to the camera, letting the world see the filthy remnants of your actions.

 “You might be even nastier than I am.”

TSUKISHIMA, noya, ATSUMU, shoyo, matsukawa, Keishin, TOJI, shiu kong, todo, megumi, EREN, bertholdt. °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Men who focus the way he stretches you out, sure that, at the right angle, he will catch your belly bulging from taking him. He’d choke some cries out of you, insisting that he is not that big to make you whine like that, but still, everytime the tip of his cock crashes against your bruised cervix you cannot do anything else but moan and beg him to go easier. He never complies – At least not until you mutter your safe word, of course. –

He enjoys grinding the head of his cock against your clit, getting you all wet so he can easily slide in, the feeling of his thick girth smashing your walls making you back arch in ecstasy. You’re so tight, and so hungry for him, it’s like your cunt wants to swallow him all. 

He slows down, thrusting way deeper into you, every hit of his balls on your aching sex stealing soft whines out of your lips and when you turn your face to him and smile into the camera, fucked stupid, he can’t help the way he twitches inside of you, pumping every drop of his sperm in your pussy.

“such a good girl, taking it like a champ, look at the camera. Will ya?” so you fix your half lidded eyes onto the lens, obeying orders, he asks. “You like this, don’t you? acting like a whore on video?” and so you nod. You were his own camgirl, and he loved every second of it. 

Daichi, OIKAWA, kuroo, USHIJIMA, semi, IWAIZUMI, kyotani, GOJO, higurama, sukuna, jean, CONNIE, levi. °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Loves to flip you over, on all fours, your hips up as he reaches for the camera of his phone, focusing on the way his discharge pumps out of you, leaving the soft skin around your thighs wet and sticky.

“Aw, you’re so full.” He mumbles, you nod. “We cannot let it all go to waste, right? You wouldn’t want that, wanna have a belly full of my babies, don’t you, doll?” He doesn’t need you to reply, the clenching of your folds telling him everything he needs to know.

His index finger teases your entrance slowly, playing with his own seed before pushing it inside you, making sure not one drop of him escapes. He can swear that just the sight of you, trembling and crying from the overstimulation, will make him burst again, but once again the idea of finishing anywhere else that is not you stops him.

“There you go, angel, all yours.”

ATSUMU, tobio, sugawara, asahi, tendo, lev, GETO, nanami, choso, itadori, ARMIN, ERWIN. °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[tbposting]

I always saw Cloud's affected personality as a sort of messed up mixture of Zack and Sephiroth, with probably a lot more weight towards Sephiroth than Zack, initially.

Like, Cloud's behaviour on the first reactor mission? I think that's him projecting pure Sephiroth - cool, disaffected, brooding, introspective, his "I am better than what I'm doing and I'm better than everyone here" projection reads to me very much like how Cloud must have perceived Sephiroth's morose standoffishness at Nibelheim.

I don't think the Zack part of his fake personality really comes out... until he meets Aerith. I think that's the thing that makes him remember Zack less as Cool SOLDIER Big Brother and more as the cheerful, pleasant, slightly goofy person that he actually was. And I think the Zack persona is brought out in no small part because Aerith's total refusal to buy or be put off his tough guy mercenary act forces him to switch gears. Cloud is forming his identity at this point almost entirely off of what he intuitively feels like will project the right kind of SOLDIER masculinity towards whoever he's talking to. Being an edgy jackass with Barrett helps keep a protective, alienating wall up with him, but he struggles to do it with Tifa, who can consistently cut through to his heart and his actual personality screaming underneath it all.

And Aerith? She 1) plays along with his nonsense, but specifically she plays along, clearly understanding that it is nonsense, and 2) absolutely refuses to allow his nonsense to erect an actual barrier between them. Cloud absolutely cannot control her emotional engagement with him the same way he can with Barrett, or halfway can with Tifa. So he pivots to Zack's easy charm instead, and Aerith, understandably, is charmed by it.

And it's all just so achingly tragic, because literally everyone that Cloud pretends to be either Zack or Sephiroth Lite with would absolutely adore the real him if he would just let them meet him... and Aerith is going to pass away before she gets the chance to really do that.

I mean, she knows, long before Cloud does, and she makes her decision to leave the party in no small part because she knows and wants to do what she can to protect Cloud from himself. But... god, it really does hurt that Cloud never gets a chance to truly show himself to her.

Cloud actually did a very bad job emulating Zack's persona, because the defining trait of Cloud-as-Zack is "cool", and Zack wasn't actually cool but he was to Cloud. Zack views Cloud getting to live as a relief and Cloud views it as a curse. Zack thinks saving Cloud was his One Good Thing and Cloud thinks of Zack as the ideal hero and himself as the Mistake. Zack would probably been overjoyed when Cloud recovered his memories because up until his death Zack never really came to terms with The Concept Of Zack Fair, but we know he loved The Person That Is Cloud Strife.

[sambitez]

Here is the post that everyone is waiting for regarding Killerbait/kat/kit. 

I just want to preface by saying, if this blog gets confusing at any point, I am willing to answer questions that anyone has. I will NOT be exposing her real name or identity to the public. As there are pedophiles that interacted with her and could potentially cause harm if they became obsessive enough. I am all too familiar with the way that the online-world works and I do not wish any form of physical harm on her. After all, I knew Kat & loved her for nearly four years. 

I’m going to try to keep this as simple as I can so everyone can understand. But breaking down almost four years of details will get complicated. 

So let’s start from the beginning:

I met Kat during my sophomore year of high school. I was 15 at the time and she was 15 as well. We are the same age, I am just a few months older than her. Which makes us BOTH currently the age of 17. We are both still minors. We became friends very quickly and connected over TLOU because we both made edits of the game and met through TikTok which is how we even became associated with each other. I had a girlfriend at the time, but we both had (unstated) feelings for each other than didn’t get acted on until late into my junior year. In the mean time, she had a different girlfriend after realizing that I wasn’t “available.” We remained friends throughout this entire period of time, there were instances where we didn’t speak as much just because I have a very busy life and so did she. Towards the end of her and her ex girlfriend’s relationship, we got close again, and I even got close with her ex girlfriend. We had a group chat together and we all spoke everyday for a couple of weeks until eventually, her and her girlfriend’s relationship came to an end. Which brings me into the next chapter of Kat and I’s life “together.” 

Me and Kat started dating in December of 2023. And we broke up as of this Tuesday. We were together for a year and three months. Our relationship was completely okay up until around August/September. We started fighting over things but they always got resolved and things would be fine, until inevitably they weren’t. And I have just found out yesterday, that she had actually reached out to her ex girlfriend- claiming I was “aggressive” and that there were “other girls.” Both of which are false allegations against me and the person that I am. I would never have considered cheating on Kat, even when she started treating me like I was less than a person to her. 

Here is the proof of her and her ex girlfriends conversation about me with time stamps: 

This all happened in August, as you can see. We later broke up once in December almost directly after we had hit our one year. I broke up with her because of the mistreatment and then a small miscommunication that was genuinely just the last straw for me. I wish I would’ve kept things that way. But she insisted that we stayed friends and still spoke afterwards, we kept each other on social media, and we both made the mistakes of staying in contact after the break up- which inevitably led to us getting back together after three days.  

After that it just never got better. It was another draining 3-4 months of begging to be treated like a person. I begged her to love me, I begged her to care about my successes, I begged her to care about my problems when I had them, I just begged. I did a LOT of begging. And she could typically only give me the words “I’ll try to do better” or “I’m sorry.” Occasionally though, she would give a genuine apology. Occasionally. 

On Monday, March 10th of 2025, I asked her if we could call once or twice a month. As we barely ever called. I never even FaceTimed this girl. She never wanted to and would refuse. Calling is very important to me because quality time is one of my verrryyy big love languages. So It really meant something when I got to call her, I truly cherished every moment with her. But she would deny my request almost every time. Which is why I proposed  the idea of calling 1-2 times a month. To which she said “I can try” and when I was upset and started texting dryly, she did not respond. She just asked if she could go to sleep. To which I said yes, and then later that evening before I went to bed- I sent her a text telling her “if you don’t love me anymore, it’s okay. You can leave and I won’t stop you.” That morning when I woke up, I saw her response and she told me that she “no longer saw me as a girlfriend, and loved me more as a friend.” And when I asked her if we could fix it, she told me “I hope so.” Which is when I knew it was over. And I told her we should probably break up. 

Here is the proof of that conversation as well: 

The SS below is the second convo we had that day. Where I asked her if she had me blocked on tumblr. Because last time we broke up she posted about me, but nothing to this extent. I admit I was gonna look if she did, as any ex normally would lol… but I never expected to see the things she posted this time around.

After all of this. Things only got worse, as all of you guys know. Whether you are fans, haters, or neutral on her as a person. We all saw her account go “downhill” as most sane people would say. She started posting her nudes on the Internet and publicly sexting potential adults and minors, as well as saying that they could rape her. 

This is all while she is also a minor. She is 17 years old. Seven. teen. 

Here is the proof I can provide of that:

Killerbait enabling rape:

And her admitting to it, knowing that it is wrong, since some of you guys are saying that she “might not know better.”:

Proof that Killerbait is a minor:

This is a conversation between me and her mother. I’m keeping it cropped because I want NO part in any form of doxxing or harm towards her family. Or her, for that matter. Which is a big reason why I’m even doing this in the first place. I am SPREADING AWARENESS….:

This is a birthday post I made for her, the date is at the top of the post: 

And to provide more proof that she is a habitual liar, here is her lying about texting her ex-girlfriend about me “cheating.” Saying that she “never did that.”: 

This is proven to be a lie, as in the screenshots I uploaded above in this blog, show that she OBVIOUSLY messaged her ex girlfriend- claiming I cheated on her, as well as saying I was “aggressive.”  

I think that is all. This is all the proof that I have. If there are any questions please feel free to ask. I know I said this was solely about revenge, as I am very angry and hurt. I was molested from ages 6-11 by my own family member. The fact that she is capitalizing off of this kind of topic is sickening. And the fact that she is exposing herself online to potential predators, is sickening as well. I am with everyone when they say that they hope she gets the help that she needs. I genuinely hope that she stays safe and she recovers from everything that she has gone through/is going through. But she needs to stay off of the internet. There will always be creeps lurking, preying on girls just like her. I want to put an end to this.

Thank you to everyone who spent their time reading this and trying to understand the situation. I do not care about “sides” being taken. I just want her to be safe. 

(I also want to note that, after knowing her for four years. She never once mentioned having any trauma regarding rape. So throw that excuse for her behavior out the window.)

[ticklygiggles]

A future together | Kyle Du Vilteon x Joe Heart Rotais

Commissioned by @dirtpie39 | PPYMIA COMCO

A/N: Second Collab with wonderful @ppystkposts always lovely to work together with you~ ❤️ big thanks to our kind commissioner! We hope you enjoy it!

Summary: "You already think of me as your husband?!"

Or, the one where Kyle misunderstands and Joe is a little shit about it.

Words: 3k

The way Kyle's face fell was nothing short of comical, his expression transforming from flustered, (face turned a deep shape of crimson, brow furrowed in distress, eyes widened in embarrassment), to utterly bewildered in a split second. The tension that had once filled the meeting room had long since dissipated, leaving the two of them, lost in their own little world. Kyle was still sitting at the head of the massive table, his current attitude nothing compared to the intimidating emperor-like demeanor he had displayed just a few minutes before. Joe standing right beside him like the loyal knight she was. 

But she blinked and tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing slightly as she studied Kyle's reaction. 

The Deloah situation was certainly a big deal, but what was his deal? 

“We- we are in love with each other…,” Kyle said, grumbling almost under his breath, his voice trembling in disbelief. “Am- Am I not part of your family yet, honey?" Joe’s eyes widened. Kyle’s flushed face was not the only thing that was making her heart race, but also his words. Did he really just ask that? 

Didn't he know that she wanted him like someone from her family even from the beginning? When he hadn't even started to have feelings for her? When they didn't even exist in the same timeline? 

A soft, tender smile spread across Joe's face, her heart overflowing with warmth and her eyes brimming with love. Kyle's adorableness was a never-ending source of delight for her, growing more pronounced with each passing day. She felt incredibly fortunate to be able to bask in his loveliness every hour, every minute, every second of fhe

Letting out a small laugh, she closed the distance between her and Kyle who was still sitting, and gently pinched his blushing cheeks. “Is that so? Did Kyle think he was already part of my family?” She teased with a bright grin, nearly laughing out loud when she saw Kyle's eyes widen, his mouth drop. 

“Are- Are we not?!” He asked scandalized, looking at Joe with almost desperation. “I thought- w-well… I thought you already… looked at me… like your husband…” 

ACK! Joe nearly collapsed right there and then. That blow was critical! How was Kyle so cute?! Saying that kind of thing like it was nothing, unaware of the way his every word made Joe feel inside: heart skipping beats, butterflies filling her tummy, her imagination going wild!

But she remained with that teasing grin, hoping Kyle wouldn't notice the blush creeping up her cheeks with how flustered he was at the moment. 

Joe chuckled softly. “My husband?” she asked, humming softly as she lifted her hand, curiously looking at her left fingers. “I… don't see a ring here?” She said, showing her ring finger to him. “Do you, honey?” She wiggled her finger and nearly laughed her head off when Kyle grabbed her hand and intently looked at her finger, as if he was stunned by the fact that there was no ring there.

“I- I… do you want to get married now?!” He asked with concern in his voice, and Joe bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. Oh, goodness, Kyle was always so easy to tease! 

“Hmm… well, aren't you the one telling me to see you as my family?” she purred, her finger gently tracing his jawline, making him tremble. “Don't tell me… did you imagine us with kids and all? How many? Three?” she chuckled softly as Kyle's cheeks turned bright red.

She had seen right through him, huh? He was simply too cute and teasable for his own good. 

“Oh, Kyle…” she cooed, cupping his cheeks and shaking his head a little. “Are our imaginary kids in your head very cute, lovely? How many of them have your hair? And mine? What do you think would be the combination of our hair colors? I hope you imagined them with your nose~” Joe laughed softly as Kyle covered his flushed face with his hands, refusing to meet her eye.

“What is the matter, honey?” she purred, trying to gently pry Kyle's hands away from his face. “Are you embarrassed right now?” 

“I just thought… you meant…” Kyle began and Joe smiled with a mischievous grin. 

“‘She came after my family’,” Joe repeated her early words with a grin. “You thought I was talking about you?” Kyle nodded his head. “Aw, Kyle~ you're so naughty~” 

“Huh?!” He raised his face from between his hands, quickly finding Joe's eyes. “I’m not!” he exclaimed and Joe giggled. 

“You are! Are you even aware of how babies are made~?” 

Kyle's face turned even redder. His eyes went wide, Joe almost worried they would pop out of his sockets. He looked away, trying to compose himself, but Joe hadn't finished, she had actually just started. She gently poked his red cheeks, making Kyle growl. 

“What is the matter, Your Majesty?” She purred. “I cannot know what you want and need if you don't use your words. Please tell me, are you aware of how babies are made?” 

Joe could see the irritation growing in Kyle's expression, but she wasn't one to gauge danger. Many would say her survival instinct was flawed, but she thought that as long as it was Kyle, the word 'enough' didn't exist. 

Even if it might get her into trouble.

Chuckling to herself, Joe pinched Kyle's blushing cheeks and continued to tease him. “Cat got your tongue, Kyle? Tell me more about that wild imagination of yours,” she said, grinning. “Did you see each other getting married as well? What about growing old together?” 

She didn't really know when to stop until it was too late. Kyle reached out to catch her hand, trying to stop her teasing. But Joe was too quick and she turned with a laugh, dodging his grasp. She tried to run towards the huge wooden doors and escape anything Kyle could do to her, but the emperor stood from his chair and his hand easily closed around her side instead, giving it a squeeze while trying to stop her, and Joe let out a high-pitched squeal.

Both of them froze: Joe taking a step toward the exit and Kyle with his hand clinging to Joe's side. She turned around slowly, her lips trembling as she tried to come up with a poor excuse, something that would distract Kyle long enough to actually make her escape, but when she saw Kyle's expression morphing from surprise to a sly look, she knew she was doomed. 

“Kyle, I- ahahaha! N-No, wait- wahahait! Ahahaha!” He began tickling her, seeking revenge for her endless teasing. 

Joe laughed and squirmed, trying to push the emperor's hand off her side, but he was holding onto her firmly, his other hand latching to her other side, making her shriek and dissolve into louder laughter. 

“Kyle, wahahait!” she laughed, desperately pushing at Kyle's hands, but it was all useless– he was too strong and very determined to punish her and Joe was simply weakened by the sudden tickle attack. 

From all things possible, he had to choose tickling! She didn't know if she should feel grateful for it or not, but while Kyle wrapped a strong arm around her waist, pulling her close to her body as his free hand tickled up and down her side, spidering and squeezing, she knew she was going to suffer a long tickle torture under the emperor's hands. 

“Ohoho, Kyle!” she laughed, her cheeks blushing, because of the laughter or the proximity, she wasn't sure. “Why ahahare- are you huhugging me lihihike this?” she teased between laughter. “C-Could it be thahahat you want to start mahahaking kihihids- AHAHAHA! Hohold on!” she let out a burst of laughter that echoed in the whole meeting room as Kyle's fingers found her ribs, digging into the soft nerves and muscles between them, making Joe shriek and squirm. 

“Even while laughing your head off,” Kyle talked too close to her ear, making her shiver and giggle, “you still are a teasing little girl, huh?” 

Joe giggled brightly, jerking and squirming with her back pressed flush against Kyle's firm chest as much as his arm around her waist allowed, which wasn't much. She tried to run, push his hands away, catch them, simply escape, but Kyle easily lifted her a little off the ground, making her squeal. 

“Y-Yohohou’re so strohohong, Kyle~ AHAHAHA! Plehehase, stohohop tickling me theehehe-! Thehere!” she laughed, her legs kicking out as Kyle's fingers found her hip and dug gently into it, squeezing and pinching the little bone as if his life depended on it. “Kyle! Yohohour Mahahajesty! Why are you dohihing this? Weren't you the ohohone having weird thohohoughts- AHAHAHA! Plehehease!” 

“Stop teasing me!” Kyle whined pitifully, his cheeks flushed bright red and Joe groaned internally, hating the fact she couldn't she the color tinting his fair cheeks for the tickling barely allowed her to function like a proper human being. “I just- just… it's your fault for not speaking properly!” 

“I wahahas talking ahahabout my grahahandpa! Y-You and Ihihi aren't even m-mahahahaha-” She was unable to form any more words when Kyle's fingers reached her stomach, clawing around her belly button. “Stahahap! Plehehease!”

“Say you're sorry and I'll stop,” Kyle commanded, or at least he tried, his voice didn't sound as confident.

Joe didn't feel the slightest bit guilty. She'd reveled in Kyle's embarrassment, and she knew she'd never apologize, mainly because she loved seeing him blush with humiliation. No matter how much he tickled her, she wouldn't apologize.

She shook his head, refusing to give him the satisfaction as she squirmed and laughed while her stomach was mercilessly tickled. Her cheeks were bright red and they were starting to hurt as the tickling continued. 

Her laughter was already starting to sound a little odd to her own ears, a strange combination of loud giggles, squeals, and perhaps a little snort here and there that actually made her feel a bit too embarrassed.

“Why wohohould I behehe sorry? You wehehere the ohohone- no, wahahait!” 

The strong arms embracing her suddenly transformed into a trap, crossing over her chest and allowing Kyle's fingers to dig deep into her armpits, triggering a fit of almost hysterical laughter from Joe, whose legs flailed wildly and accidentally struck Kyle's shin, causing him to grunt in discomfort and lose his footing.

Joe felt Kyle's arm wrap tightly around her waist as he absorbed the impact, dropping to his knees and gently lowering her to the ground. Still reeling from the tickling, her mind foggy and her senses dulled, she was caught off guard when Kyle settled onto her hips, still tickling her sides and armpits. 

Joe cackled, trying to push Kyle off her with one arm, the other trying to prop herself up, but Kyle’s hands suddenly closed around both her wrists and lifted them high above her head, gently pushing her back against the floor. 

She widened her eyes, her lips trembling into a silly, uncontrollable smile as she gazed up at Kyle's adorably flustered expression, his face scrunched up in a pout that made her heart skip a beat.

Joe giggled, her eyes warmly staring at Kyle, “oh, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle~ my beloved emperor, would you mind explaining what this position is now?” she asked as if she wasn't having difficulty catching her breath. “You really want to make those babies? Right now? Right here? You're so inappropriate. Can’t you wait until- AHAHAHA! Nohohohot thehere, plehehease!” she started to beg as Kyle used his free hand to tickle every single spot he could find. 

Joe shrieked with laughter when those wiggly fingers found her very unprotected underarms, digging into that sensitive nerve that nearly made her see her stars. 

Her laughter turned rather hysterical when Kyle clawed at the back of her ribs, going straight for that ridiculous sensitive spot on the lower set of ribs that had her arching her back off the floor. Every touch there sent an electrifying sensation through her whole spine as if Kyle was playing with a major never over there. 

Her waist was not safe either. His hand sneaked under her clothes and his hand latched to the curve of her waist, spidering and poking repeatedly at hee soft, warm and sensitive skin, making her shriek and squeal like a little girl. 

“Ahahaha! Hehehey- h-hey! Hahands out! I'm not reheheady~ AHAHAHA!” 

Joe heard a soft grow over her laughter, but she couldn't do anything else besides squirming like a fish out of water as Kyle's hand spidered across her tummy to the other side of her waist. She jerked away, but either way, she couldn't move much with Kyle straddling her hips and pinning her arms. 

She was at his mercy and she was in ticklish hell, almost going insane, and yet, she refused to apologize. She refused to even acknowledge that she was just teasing Kyle and instead, insisted on riling up the emperor even more, causing his tickles to be more relentless and fast.

She tried to babble out another tease, but even Kyle had trouble understanding what she was saying between all that hysterical laughter, not that he even tried to listen to her. Joe screamed with laughter as the tickles continued, making her think she was going to be tickled forever. Her face was just as red as Kyle's, her cheeks wet with tears and her body growing weak as she kicked and pulled at her trapped arms. 

“Kyle! K-Kyle, y-you're gohohing to be a widohohower before we even get maahaharried! Spahahare your future wife- GAHAHA!” She cackled as he clawed at her tummy under her shirt.

“D-Dohohon't treheahat your children's hohohouse lihihike thihihis!” she tried to nag between bouts of laughter. “Leheheave my tuhuhummy alohohone! Plehehease!” 

That actually made Kyle laugh and his hand faltered a little as he ducked his head down to hide his smile. 

“I m-mahahade you lahahaugh!” she yelled, “now s-stoho- AHAHAHA! Wait! WAHAHAIT!” 

She shook her head in desperation as his thumb dug and rubbed circles back against her hip bone, pinching her skin gently, but firmly. The hysterics from before were nothing compared to the ones when he attacked her hip. She was as sensitive in that spot just as Kyle was, but, if she had to be honest, much to her embarrassment, she was way more ticklish than he was– and he was plenty ticklish. 

Since when did he know where all her ticklish spots were? According to Joe, she was always the one tickling Kyle until the emperor could barely breathe. She didn't remember Kyle ever being so ruthless with her, he barely dared to give her a small poke on the side and he was already dying of embarrassment. 

But he seemed to know exactly where and how to tickle her to make her laugh until her stomach muscles ached and tears fell down her cheeks. Even in places she didn't even know were so sensitive. 

One would say that was definitely torture for Joe, but if that was the case… she wouldn't be trying to keep teasing Kyle even if she couldn't form any coherent words. 

Kyle let out a huff, shaking his head with a soft smile. “You would rather die laughing than simply stop teasing me, huh?” 

Joe tried to answer, but she was nearly losing her mind as Kyle's fingers kept playing with her hip, so she simply nodded slightly, silent laughter making her body tremble. Kyle sighed, shaking his head again as he stopped for a moment. 

Joe went limp against the floor, giggling as she tried to calm down. She was gasping for air, a light sheen of sweat covering her forehead and an embarrassing little string of drool falling from the corner of her mouth. To add to her embarrassment, Kyle gently wiped it away with his thumb. 

“Are you alright?” He asked with a soft expression in his eyes, his smile as gentle as it could be. “Did I hurt you?” 

Even when he was trying to be evil, Kyle cared for Joe until the very end and her heart skipped a beat ah the fact. She looked up at him, a little blurry from the tears wetting her eyelashes, and smiled brightly, giggling lightly at the phantom tickles on her hip– and all over her body, really.

“Oh, Kyle~” she said tenderly. “All of this because you wouldn't admit you were thinking about our kids in you- AHAHAHAHA! Plehehease, anyahaha- anywhere b-buhut thehehere!” she begged as Kyle's finger resumed that maddening ticking against her hip bone. 

His thumb dug with the eight amount of pleasure right against the hollow of her hip, hooking slightly to rub at the bone, making her shriek with hysterical cackles that probably everyone in the palace could hear. She didn't even have the energy to try to fight anymore, she simply took the tickling, jolting and shrieking when he moved from one hip to the other, having her guessing when the next change was going to be. 

Kyle chuckled, “ah,” he made a short pause, almost as if he was making sure Joe was listening to him, and even though she was losing her sanity, she was, of course, listening attentively to his every word. “I clearly remember someone tickling me right here the other day,” he said in a low, teasing voice and Joe's heart fluttered. He sounded so evilly cute! 

Kyle! Let me see your face! She begged internally for she really couldn't even talk as he tickled her mercilessly

“She was so mercilessly, but I remember she was actually using both hands…” Joe let out the loudest shriek of laughter yet as her hands were suddenly freed and both band hips were under attack but both Kyle's hands: pinching, digging, squeezing, vibrating and just every little technique Joe so happily used on him many times before, never imagining the tables would turn on her. 

“That must be really ticklish, huh?” He said, chuckling and Joe wasn't even sure she was laughing anymore– the sound coming from his mouth was horrendous to her ears. Kyle chuckled again. “You look adorable.” 

The tickling suddenly stopped and Joe collapsed to the ground once more, still laughing and trying to calm her breathing. When she was finally able to open her eyes, after wiping her tears with the sleeves of her shirt, she could see that Kyle's eyes were shining with a mixture of amusement and tenderness. He leaned forward, his face just inches away from hers, and whispered, "I love you, Joe." 

Joe smiled widely, her arms wrapping around Kyle's neck, her eyes filled with love and adoration. "And I love you, Kyle."

[lostinlovingrevery]

I loved lonely!reader, you write angst so good, she was so vulnerable. Can you write a reader with a sad past? Also lonely but add abusive parents who gave her the silent treatment, who took her childhood away. And now she is with Oldman!Logan, in a healthy and beautiful relationship where she can free her inner child, maybe he’s a little old to keep up with her but he comforts her, helps her do her hair all pretty with the bows she always wanted as a kid… you can change anything you want, your writing is amazing

Pretty Bows and Pretty Dresses

Old Man Logan X F! Reader

The teddy bear plush is a little too big.

A/N: Thank you!! Also this didn't come out as angsty, but it's implied so I hope that's okay! God Logan is so yummy...I love the idea of him becoming so soft and romantic when he's got someone. Maybe life is rough but he has you <3 Hope you like this!

Warnings: Fluff! mention of past abuse, Logan being a softie and supportive, reader seems to have a lil anxiety, random woman mistakes your relationship, but you reassure Logan, just supportiveness and love in general.

"Looking beautiful doll."

He admired you from the doorway, arms crossed and leaned against the frame. You smiled at him in the mirror, as you fluffed out your new dress a bit more.

"Yeah? It's not too much?"

His eyes trailed up and down your figure, admiring the dress and more. A faint, tired smile across his face, as he shakes his head. The dress was pretty, with a ruffled skirt that reaches your knees and hugs your waist, a floral pattern painted of baby's breath flowers, and the dress in your favorite color.

"It's perfect on you." He says, pushing himself up from the door frame. You turned your head to smile at him directly; a smile that makes his old heart skip a beat, before looking back at the mirror as you kept fiddling with the dress.

"I don't know, maybe it's too much." You shook your head, as you bring your hands together, slowly picking at your nails.

"Hey." He speaks up gently, now at your side, he gently takes your hand- stopping you from picking your freshly manicured nails. Also painted with your favorite color. "It's beautiful. You're beautiful." He reassures, bringing your hand up to kiss the back of it as he looks into your eyes.

You chew on your lip and look at it in the mirror again. "I just saw it at the store today and I thought it was so pretty and I...Bought it. On impulse. I didn't even think."

"Nothing to think about if you like it." He says, and you glanced back to him. "Fits ya nicely, color suits ya." He lifts your arm, encouraging your to twirl. You obliged, a shy smile spreading across your face. Sensing your amusement, he has you do it again. "There we go. Very nice." He nods with approval.

You giggled, as he then begins to play with the fabric, tugging at the sleeves and collar, his hand sliding down over your hip as he feels how the dress fits onto your body. He hums appreciatively, as he now looks up at the area of your bosom.

"Yeah....very nice."

"Lo-" You giggled, playfully hitting him and he smirks. "You're supporting my bad habits-"

"Bad habit? No no sweetheart." He put an arm around your waist, pulling you close. "I, am the definition of bad habits. This...Is just you getting something you like. Ain't nothing bad about that."

Your expression turned into something softer. "Really?"

"Yeah." He says with sincerity. "You saw something, liked it, and got it. Ain't nothing wrong with that....I mean, I did the same thing when I saw you."

You giggled, your face scrunching into joy as heat bloomed in your cheeks. You turned your face away from him, but he gently put a finger under your chin, pushing you to look back at him. He quirked a brow, waiting, and you leaned up to give him a peck on the lips, a small giggle escaping you as his salt-and-pepper beard tickled your skin.

"Mm." He hums from the kiss, he smacked his lips, brows creasing as he tipped his chin back examining you. "You wearing the strawberry flavored chapstick today?"

"Strawberry Shortcake, technically." You correct him, he opens his mouth in realization before nodding in understanding. He leaned forward to kiss you again, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as you stood up on your tiptoes. You continued speaking when you parted "It's one amongst the other things I bought on my little...spree I guess."

"Oh yeah? Let's see what you got."

Your eyes lightened at his comment, and you stepped away from him to grab the shopping bag that rest on your bed. You opened it and dug out a few things. A pack of chapstick with different flavors- and some kind of cartoon characters he wasn't familiar with, a pack of bows, various colors and sizes, a pair of earrings, a candle, some makeup, and finally a small journal paired with multi-set glitter pens.

He stepped over to the bed, observing the items, and his hand rested on your back. A small smile,

"Doll, you call this a spree?"

"What?" You looked up at him in confusion. He chuckled, pulling you closer into his side.

"This is a treat, not a spree."

"Wha-" You stammered. "I spent 30 bucks! Not including this dress."

He chuckled. "You deserve much more. As nice as this stuff is. The bows?" He reached out grabbing the pack, and observing them. Embarrassment became evident on your face.

"I...Thought they would look cute in my hair." You say, leaning into his side, turning your head to bury in his shirt, he put an arm around your shoulders, his hand gently squeezing your bicep.

"Yeah? They would." He grins, his thumb rubbing over the satin fabric of the bows.

"I always wanted them. When I was little." You looked up at him. "For my hair. I thought they were so pretty. I mean maybe it's silly-"

"it's not." He says firmly. "They'll suit you." He turned to look at your other stuff.

"What about the journal?"

"I...." You moved your head to look at the journal. "I thought about starting to journal. I never was able to before, not a lot of privacy growing up..."

"Not a lot of respect more like it..." He mutters, as he recalls all the things that you opened up to him about in your childhood. The isolation, the guilt-tripping, the immaturity of people who were supposed to be responsible, role models, caretakers.

Logan may not already have the patience of the saint, but your folks better pray they never meet him.

Since you've been together, he watched you open up from being reserved and quiet, to being someone confident and thoughtful and full of compassion. It was always there, you just needed the right thing to give you the room to bloom. Since then, you've been exploring the things you wanted from you childhood- and Logan encouraged it every step.

"Logan."

"Hm." He grumbles, squeezing you a little tighter, . "I think it's great doll. Y'know you can always talk to me too, if you want or..need it."

"I know." You nodded. "I think I'm just...Wanting to try it. Since I never felt safe enough to do it before."

Logan considers himself a lot of things, but he never considered him self safe.

Then you came along and that's exactly what he wants to be. Safe, for you. He wanted to make you smile, laugh, and blush. He wanted you to feel completely safe around him, without shame, without worry; and you did the same for him.

He counted himself as the most cursed man alive before he met you, now? He couldn't be luckier. Everything else was just noise.

He nods, turning his body to face you, his arms wrapping completely around your waists and pulling you closer to him. He pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose, a gentle affection he finds himself committing with you a lot.

"What time do you have to go to work?" You ask, leaning up to rest your forehead against his, your noses brushing against each other gently.

"7. Got any plans?" He asks.

"No." You say, your voice a bit dejected. "There's this festival going on, down on Main street, but I don't really want to go there alone." You say stepping back, your hands sliding down his collared shirt as you fiddled with one of the buttons. "I'll probably just change into something comfy and order in."

He frowns at that, his thumb rubbing circles into your hip as he considered what you said. You turned away to put the stuff back in the bag and he watched you.

"Hey. Give me a minute." He says, pulling his phone out, you looked at him in confusion, as he tapped away on it- a small smile growing on your face as he tipped his head back, squinting his eyes at the screen.

"You need your glasses."

"Don't start." He mumbles with a shake of his head, making you laugh. He exhales, sticking his phone back in his pocket. He glanced around your bedroom, before looking at you. "You want to go to the festival tonight?"

You blinked. "You just said-"

He quirked a brow, and realization dawned on you.

"Baby!" You laughed. "You didn't have to do that!"

"No, I wanted too." He says, he glanced over at the bag. "You wanna try out those bows?"

It took awhile- because Logan had no idea what he was doing. He helped you put a row of bows going down your hair in a pretty and neat style.

Start with large to small, he clipped them neatly from the top, before helping you add a few small braids into your hair. His hands, scared, a tad shaky as he twirled the strands together- following your movements. Yeah, he had no clue what he was doing- over his head with this; but your bright smile made the confusion completely worth it.

The bows complimented your dress - and you were pretty as a picture.

You were filled with barely contained excitement in the passengers seat as he drove the both of you to the festival. Practically bouncing in your seat and he couldn't find it any more cuter.

"You know I never actually been to one of these before?" You tell him, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I always see them, driving past them or whatever but never...Been to one."

His brows creased, and he reached his hand out to grab yours. "Well...Glad I get to be the one to take you then."

Your smile told him you were glad for that too.

He was out of breath as you dragged him through the festival. His bones ached, feet screaming at him to sit down. The crowds of people pissed him off, and the smell was a awful mix of sweat and corndogs.

He'd never complain though. He'd do this for hours and hours, and days upon days, and weeks and eternity if it meant your smile shot his way.

Your hand never left his. You wanted to check out every booth, every game, you wanted to try the cotton candy, funnel cake, and every fried, or sweet food in the place that gave Logan a stomach ache just looking at it.

Despite what he may normally complain about, he found himself enjoying it- the first time in a long time. Only because your excitement was so infectious.

He was hypnotized by the way the bows in your hair bounced with your movements. The way your dress swished as you turned around, a big smile on your face, as the string lights strung above glowed in your eyes.

He won you the biggest plush in the festival. It was nearly bigger than you- and he offered to carry it , but you refused- too giddy to let go of the giant stuffed teddy bear. A small part of him regrets it- only because he wonders if you're going to snuggle the bear instead of him tonight.

"Aw, what a lovely father daughter duo." A woman approached the two of you, smile on her face as she observed you both- eyes lingering on Logan.

Logan's face dropped, and you noticed.

"Oh- Uh..." You laughed, your arm reaching around his waist, your free arm just barely holding the large teddy from the ground. "We're together. Like..Romantically." You say, before giving Logan an adoring smile. "He's amazing."

"Oh! Sorry." The woman laughed. You and the lady politely chatted, while Logan stood there awkwardly. She finally left, and you let out an awkward laugh.

"That was weird." You shook your head. "You okay? You looked like a ghost when she said that."

He let out a sigh, and urge to smoke creeping up, enough to make his hand twitch. "Yeah, just...Just reminds me of my age." He grumbles.

"Mhm."

"Doesn't it bother you?" He looks at you, brows creasing. Pretty one like you, he often wonders if he's being selfish.

"Do my bows bother you?"

He smiled, leaning in to kiss you on the forehead. "Point taken." He puts an arm around your shoulder.

"Listen, Lo, your age doesn't bother me. You...Are the most important person in my life." You say, attempting to adjust the heavy plush in your arms. "You support me and...Let me be myself. You talk to me and....I mean you're very handsome too sooo...." You shrug with a bashful smile.

His expression softened, and a faint smile appear. He nodded to the plush. "Want me to hold the bear now?"

"Nah. I got it." You beamed, clearly proud of it. "I got to show it off!"

"Yeah? Well I want to show you off, the damn thing is covering you. It looks i'm on a date with a sports mascot than a lady."

You giggled, relenting and handing him the bear, and intertwining your fingers with his free hand. "Better?"

He stopped, lifting your hand up and twirling you once again, watching your pretty dress swish, and your pretty bows bounce.

"Much." He smiles.

[alovelyfrenchworld]

Your Neighborly Orc Part 4

Tomorrow arrived too soon.

You had spent the entire day stressing and preparing for your dinner with Gûruk.

It's not romantic, you kept telling yourself, but did you really believe that?

In the morning when you awoke, you did everything you could to prep yourself. Ever since settling your quaint homestead, you haven't had guests. You had more or less moved far away to be isolated from the cacophany which came with mass amounts of people. However, this wasn't a mass amount of people coming over. This was one person, Gûruk.

For some reason that made it feel all the more different.

You chopped various vegetables you had - some carrots, onions, and potatoes - to add to your, hopefully filling, stew for an orc. If you had the time, you would have gone into town and seen if the little library by the town square had any information on orcs. What does Gûruk eat normally? You've seen him hunting, so you know he must eat meat. Sadly, you didn't have that much, but you added what rabbit meat you could spare, hoping the taste of the tender meat would come through to his inhuman tastebuds.

Four hours you had let the stew simmer. Every so often, you'd taste it nervously. Were the vegetables soft enough? Was the meat cooked all the way through? Was there enough bone broth? Was there too much seasoning? Not enough?

Amidst your cuisine worries, you also had to figure out what to wear. Clothing was not in abundance but did the blue dress look odd? Was the green too on the nose? You eventually settled for a deep teal colored dress with a simple brown leather belt about your waste. You wore simple wooden beaded earrings with your hair pulled hack with a hair pick. It wasn't perfect or graceful, but you felt nice enough. With a berry paste, you gave yourself a little rouge and lip tint to accentuate your features (not that those would matter…right?).

Before you knew it, the sun was beginning to set. The golden light of the approaching night was almost like an alarm as almost immediately, there was a rapping at your door.

Shaken from your worried state, you rushed to the door. On the other side was the big, burly Gûruk. Wearing a fur wrap around his shoulders, polished silver septum ring, and fresh clothing. Too fresh. As if they'd hardly been worn. He was a pleasant sight.

"Hi," you said nervously. "You're here."

"Good evening, Y/N," he responded, gruffly. "I said I would be. Why wouldn't I show?"

At first you thought he was picking, but his expression showed he watch genuinely asking.

"Oh!," you blushed, feeling a little odd for possibly implying he wouldn't come. "No, no, it's not that I didn't think you'd arrive. Only...I am happy you are here."

He returned your smile. It looked odd in contrast to his rough features. A scarred, green face, with a dashing smile. How contradictory.

You invited him in, but he would only enter your home after you.

"It is your space, only when you inhabit it will I feel comfortable being in it." he had said.

Apparently, it is an orcish tradition. Whenever one is invited to a space, you give the host room to move about show them that you are not a threat, but are there for company. You leave your weaponry at the door and then enter behind the host.

Gûruk did not have much on him, except for his recognizable bow and an insanely massize axe that was almost the heighth of your front door.

"I would not have thought orcs had so many traditions when it comes to house visits," you said in a surprised tone. Gûruk was very diligent with place everything by the front door inside.

"Not many people would," he straightened up to his full heighth. Your cottage was quaint at best and having an orc of around 7 feet standing in your living quarters made you hyper aware of how small the space was. "So, what's for supper?"

You led him to the small dining table, now wondering if your chair was too small for him to sit in, and then passed him a bowl of your stew.

Gûruk's large frame looked a bit silly as the chair was so small, but he made no comment. He simply accepted the bowl of stew. Once you had sit down across from him and got ready to eat is when he took his first bite of your home cooking. He let out a low grunt, almost in contemplation.

Shit, is it not good? I think it tastes okay...is my tongue wrong? Am I ill? Did I posion myself and now cannot taste properly? You asked yourself.

"Y/N," Gûruk said. Shit, shit, shit. "You may have to come to the orc encampment and cook now. I cannot taste something this good and go back to my people's cooking."

Flattered, you giggled. A hot blush quickly covered your cheeks. No doubt, did Gûruk notice. At least, if he had, he made no mention.

"Truly?" You asked.

"Honest. I would never lie about food. This is wonderful."

"Thank you, Gûruk. If I am being honest, I spent the whole day stressing about it. I was worried it would not be up to your standards."

Gûruk was visibly taken aback by this.

"When your people live as mine do, there is more focus on survival and less on culinary mastery. Some of my men would love to try this."

Your eyes widened at the mention of it. It sounded so taboo, although feeding local armies are not uncommon...at least, for humans anyway. Orcs are another matter entirely. Sensing your momentary discomfort, Gûruk immediately apologized.

"I did not mean to frighten you! Only that I would feel to selfish to keep this kind of delicacy to myself. I think hearty food is meant to be shared." His own nerves got the better of him, then. Gûruk had cleared the bowl you had offered and in his own nervousness, he twirled the spoon between his fingers. He focused on that repetitive motion for a few silent breaths.

Finally, you were brave enough to speak up.

"I made plenty. Truthfully, I don't know how much orcs eat and I was worried you would be hungry." You got up and showed him the giant pot of stew, not even half empty from what you had served.

Gûruk put his hands on yours, making you lower the pot slightly.

"It is a great kindness, Y/N, but I would not take so much food from you. You need to eat as well." His eyes softened at his last words.

"I eat," you said matter-of-factly. "This is just too much for me to eat before it is spoiled. You set the pot down and showed him your array of jarred foods and edible plants you gathered and shared plans for a bread starter in the upcoming days.

"It still isn't enough." Gûruk chuckled.

"How is it not?" You said, gesturing to everything you just presented.

"You need meat, warm foods, what about those?" He teased. "Or have you been resting because of that nasty fall?"

You playfully smacked his large, rather muscular, arm.

"Not funny! That really hurt..." you teased back, feigning sadness.

His demeanor changed in a flash, concern washing over him.

"Are you bruised at all?"

"Only a little, a hot bath eases the pain some."

"That's good," he smiled. "It would probably be best for you to rest indoors for a few days more."

Hands on your hips, you questioned him.

"Are you telling me what to do?" An eyebrow raised at himw as enough to make him squirm for a second. He stood up to his fool height in order to defend himself.

"No, I only mean to advise," he smirked. "Hunting in these conditions can be treacherous."

"Oh, I understand," you giggled. "Treacherous? How ever will a maiden like me survive the harsh winter?" You pretended to faint, nearly tripping over your cat who was sneaking to the table to steal some food.

The sound of his 'meow' was enough to make you jump, falling into Gûruk at the shock. He caught by the waist, almost instinctually. The sudden closeness made your heart race. Looking up at him meant leaning your head back as far as it went. You apologized profusely to which he said there was no need.

"See? You've proven my point." He laughed.

"You're rigjt," you laughed in return. "Maybe inside is my safest option. However, I still need to hunt. My meat supply is running very low and I need to savour those last bits for my little baby over there."

You pointed to your mischevious cat that was now staring back at the two of you as if he didn't just cause an almost-accident. No thoughts in his mind, just staring into the abyss.

Gûruk realized he had not yet released you and slowly let you go as he spoke.

"If I may return tomorrow morning, I can bring you some more meat. There is an overabundance at camp. It would be a waste for it to rot."

Not stepping back from where he had let you go, you stood in place, firmly.

"I wouldn't want to put more work on you." You replied, apologetically.

"Nonsense," he brushed off the thought. "I do not like food waste. Besides, we cannot let your poor kitty starve."

"Not at all." You grinned.

***

You and Gûruk spent the next couple of hours talking about the weather and asking about each other. He stoked the fire as it was dwindling because, as he put it, "the cat will freeze in these conditions".

You told him about moving out here and how you had found your cat abandoned and starving. He told you about how the orcs have had to relocate and are trying to keep the peace with the humans. He explained how he is hoping that their settlement will be far more permanent than it has been in past years. You agreed, saying you'd hope permanence meant seeing him more.

"I would like that very much." Gûruk's face was very close to yours. You two ended up on your setee across from your armchair, sitting closely to one another by the fire. Your cat took advantage of the empty chair, purring in his sleep as the fire crackled like a lullaby. The closeness to Gûruk allowed you to see his features more carefully in comparison to yours. Everything about him was larger than the average man. His tusks were intimidating in daylight, but by this firelight, they were adorned with a yellow glow that almost made them feel magical.

Unintentionally on both your parts, your conversation slowly faded out as you both leaned into one another. Far more carefully than you would have imagined was possible for such a burly orc, one of Gûruk's hands held your chin up towards him as gave you lightest kiss you'd ever received. Gûruk pulled back and hovered his hand by your face, the loss of contact saddening you.

"I hope that was alright." he muttered, soundign frightened by what your response could be.

"It was more than alright," This time, you initiated a kiss, but with a little more pressure. Nothing agrressive, just more contact. Five more seconds of bliss. "I hope that was alright."

Gûruk blushed, visibly. The pink spreading across his green skin made his cheeks look ignited by an internal fire. "More than so."

"It is getting late." You stated with disappointment. Outside your window, you could see nothing in the pitch black, but could hear the faint sounds of the nocturnal fauna awakening.

"I have to get back. I am sure I have worried my people being gone so long." Gûruk got up in a hurry, grabbing his dear by the door.

You followed suit, anxiety washing over you.

"I am sorry if I have caused trouble, I did not mean to keep you." Your eyes slowly began to well with unwanted tears. You blinked them away quickly, trying not to let Gûruk know of your feelings in the moment.

He took your hand firmly and assured you.

"You have not kept me, I was here of my own free-will. I just have others in my care that need me."

You led him out the door. Once you both were on the porch, he turned to you, making intense eye contact that worried you.

"Would another kiss before I go be overstepping?" He asked.

Rather than replying, you placed a hand on his chest and stood on your tip toes. He understood your meaning and leaned down to meet your lips. A quick peck was all he needed for a smile to return to his face. Lifting a hand of yours to kiss it, he bade you farewell.

"Tomorrow, Y/N, do not forget." he said.

"I won't" you promised.

"Goodnight." He said as he backed away and turned towards his home.

"Goodnight." You replied, the cold winter wind carrying your words to his attentive ears, unbeknownst to you.

TAGLIST:

@silverclawz @beaniebaneenie @jar0fhoney @yourlittlehoe @lem-hhn @apuddleonthelivingroomfloor @graveblanketgreen @blushycadaver @adriennepoison @sunndust

[butchreg]

caregiver jinx headcanons !! ⤷ featuring : big sis ! jinx 𓈒 middle reader 𓈒 healing together 𓈒

requested by 🪶 ! i cannot believe i've never posted jinx headcanons before !! i have so many jinx agere thoughts (i am literally her fur real 𓈒) find my arcane masterlist here & my upcoming list here 𓈒

jinx is a big sister caregiver rather than a mama or parental cg ! she is very adamant about this , teasing vi and sevika for being more parental cgs because it means they're "ooold" 𓈒 jinx absolutely melts when you call her sis or sissy , giving your nose a playful boop and giggling brightly 𓈒

jinx can be a bit bossy , as most big sisters can be but she means well 𓈒 she loves telling you what to do , at times getting a big head , looking down expectantly at you with her hands on her hips 𓈒 you don't dare defy her when she gets that serious look on her face 𓈒

jinx who loves messing around and playing with you ! she's always tickling you when you least expect it , crowing delightedly when you squirm unable to hold in giggles of your own𓈒 she'll leave little notes and trinkets around for you to find as well𓈒 she's always down to rough house & play fight , though there are times she'll struggle when you're feeling more vulnerable𓈒

jinx who makes you special custom gear ! she's always in her workshop welding something , or wildly painting another masterpiece for her little sib , ending up covered in brightly colored splotches𓈒 you think her protective gear is sooo awesome ! she gets you your own little welding goggles so you can be just like her although she doesn't want you using her tools and getting hurt𓈒 your favorite thing she's made you is your mobile !

jinx's hair is very important to her as you know𓈒 typically she's not fond of others touching it but she allows you to play with and style it if you're having a hard day𓈒 you're always begging her to braid yours just like hers which makes her smile delightedly , tousling your shorter hair with a snort laugh𓈒

you who attempts to resist haircuts , wanting yours to grow out as long as hers𓈒 jinx'll have to chase you , coaxing and pestering you about it despite your fussing𓈒 she's very determined always finding a way to bribe you into letting her cut it𓈒 you'll grump and attempt to evade the scissors making your cut choppy but she's quite proud of her handiwork𓈒

jinx is always dying your hair wild colors ! you wanted to have blue hair just like her𓈒 although you were a little shy to tell her at first she thinks it's awesome and is super eager to help , telling you how cool you look when it's done𓈒

not big on rules𓈒 she doesn't mind if you're messy or feel the need to police what time you go to bed𓈒 she's your cool older sister , if you need to be scolded vi or cait will step in𓈒

jinx loves doing crafts with you ! you two make friendship bracelets & kandi all the time together , making matching bracelets and you showing jinx how to make all the complex patterns𓈒

she's always calling you silly nicknames like "goober" and "gremlin" , making silly faces at you to make you laugh and challenging you to staring contests 𓈒 she takes them super seriously and is always trying to play dirty to get you to break first𓈒

tagging with jinx & getting covered in spray paint despite your weak attempts not to get messy𓈒 she helps guide your small hand with the can , adding your own touch to her elaborate tag𓈒

jinx is not good with super young regressors like babies or toddlers given the amount of responsibility and strict rules that type of caretaking comes with𓈒 she's a bit tentative about taking care of you at first , anxious she won't be capable enough or good enough to take on a big sister role𓈒 she knows she has a reputation and for good reason aside from her trouble with discussing and regulating her emotions but over time your regression proves to be a healing experience for both of you𓈒

[wei-ying-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those of you who don’t know, I decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus, which is comprised of 9 units. I have completed four of the units (here is my queer cinema syllabus round up post with all the films I’ve watched and written about so far). It is time for me to make my way through Unit 6- Gems, which includes the following films: Big Eden, Shelter, Weekend, Private Romeo, Were the World Mine, The Birdcage, Make the Yuletide Gay, The Sum of Us, Boy Erased, Boys, Summer Storm, C.R.A.Z.Y., North Sea Texas, Saturday Church, Boy Meets Girl, The Adventers of Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Too Wong Foo Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar.

Today I will be watching:

Big Eden (2000) dir. Thomas Bezucha

[Run Time: 1h 58m, Language: English]

Summary: A thirty-something gay guy, Henry Hart, returns to his childhood Montana home to confront his unrequited passion for his high school best friend.

Cast: - Arye Gross as Henry Hart - Eric Schweig as Pike Dexter - Tim DeKay as Dean Stewart - George Coe as Sam "Sampa" Hart

IT WAS BIG EDEN DAY Y’ALL!!!!! DON'T LET THE STARS GET IN YOUR EYES, DON'T LET THE MOON BREAK YOUR HEART!!!!

When I saw this was on Ben’s syllabus I was so fucking excited because this is one of my favorite movies of all time. Listen, I have watched plenty of movies plenty of times, but this is one of the few films that I have seen where I legitimately watched it back to back. Like, fully the first time that I watched it I immediately started it back over because this film is a drug to me. 

Simply put this is a kind film that is just packed full of love and I am so grateful that we have some stories set in a very small town where homophobia is not a concern. We talk about the bubble in BL a lot and this film is kinda like a bubble show, but Henry’s very clear hesitation to tell Sampa that he is queer is a good way to still hint at the fact that homophobia does exist in this world and that Big Eden just doesn’t really do that. In this day and age with the current political climate being what it is, it is just comforting to be able to see a bunch of older cishet white men get thoroughly invested in helping Pike get his man. 

I LOVE THIS FILM. 

gif by @ballumville

It is really hard to talk about this film because every time I think about it legitimately I just get heart eyes and cease to put on an analytical brain about it. But now that I have to write about it, I gotta try to get some level of coherent thought out of it. 

The dichotomy between Dean and Pike is such a fascinating part of this film for me because Dean is straight and thus more openly affectionate with Henry and Pike is queer and therefore ready to run away every chance he gets when the boy he likes is in the room. I love this exploration Dean has around his own sexuality insofar as it is clear that he deeply loves Henry, but that that love is at the end of the day platonic and familial. But Dean kisses Henry in this movie. Like he tries so hard to give Henry what he wants because he knows how much Henry has been suffering from the two-decade crush Henry has had on him. It is one of my favorite aspects of this film. Whenever I sit down to watch it, I never feel like Dean is queer and just scared to pursue it, I feel like he is straight and is trying to pursue queerness because of how much he cares for Henry.

gif by @ober-affen-geil

But he just can’t. And that is heartbreaking to watch because Henry and Dean both know it from the start, but Dean is trying desperately to do whatever he can to keep Henry in his life, and to give him comfort. Thinking of this film in the context of this syllabus which is a lead up to BL, so many BLs have the general trope of “straight except for you” and though this film is not BL it could have very easily fallen in to that same category of Dean actually being queer by the end of the film, and I am really glad that they still allowed his straightness to exist.

Pike on the other hand, is very aware that he is queer, and he also deeply loves Henry, but in the romantic sense. And Pike is just a generally quiet and shy person compared to Dean. But whenever he and Henry are in the same room it looks like he is in physical pain being there, and that is so fucking fun to watch. This man is down bad. This man learns to cook and doesn’t tell Henry about it because he is just 6’2” of unadulterated devotion. I love whenever a story employs the concept of “food as love” and to see Pike work on continuously more complex dishes as his love for Henry continues to escalate just makes me want to scream. I love this man so much. I love him so much and I am so glad that he gets the guy at the end, because though I am not the biggest fan of Henry myself, all I could ever hope for in the history of the world is Pike’s happiness. 

gif by @ballumville

God there are just so many incredible relationship dynamics in this film. The way that Sampa knows that Henry is queer and is just waiting for him to tell him, the way that Sampa tries on multiple occasions to open the door and allow Henry space to come out. As someone whose parent confronted me about my own queerness and forced a conversation that neither of us was ready to have, I have such intense respect for the way that Sampa handled the last conversation he and Henry had about it. The way that he let Henry know that he knows and he is okay with it without coming right out to say it, without forcing the conversation, and honestly in my opinion, absolving Henry of the need to come out to him if he was too scared to do so. I know Henry still regrets not telling Sampa he is gay before Sam passed, but I also know at that point he didn’t have to. 

And I just have to give a shout out to Jim. Jim really is just sitting there holding Pike’s hand the whole way through trying to nudge him along until he gets what he wants. He knows that Pike is shy and he knows that Pike is scared, and is going to do whatever he can to get Pike to take the bigger risks. All the beloved old farts that park themselves in front of the general store every day are not so subtly, subtly push these two together. 

And of course, I just have to give a shout out to Widow Thayer for how she lets Henry know that she knows that he’s gay by inviting a fuck ton of gay men in to Henry’s home for a social gathering. The look on Henry’s face when he realizes what is happening is absolutely priceless.

All this to say, the film is a warm hug and everyone should watch it.

Favorite Moment 

Okay so the thing is there are a ton of great moments in the film, and before I talk about my absolute favorite one, I need to shout out the Thanksgiving fight between Dean and Henry because it is so good and so devastating “Screw you Henry Hart, I do know what love is. You. You are my family.” HELLO???????????????? Stabbing me in the chest would hurt less. 

gif by @tvandfilm

BUT. I think the award of WYKA’s favorite Big Eden scene is Jim’s conversation with Pike. The way he already bodied Pike in the “I’m just cooking food here.” “If only that were true.” conversation was excellent. But this is fundamentally a film about loving and being loved, and so my favorite scene is the one where Jim is trying to get Pike to stop delivering his love to Henry anonymously. The conversation Jim and Pike have where Pike is still vehemently trying to deny that he has feelings for Henry by telling Jim “I just want things to be nice for him,” Which? DEVASTATING. THAT LINE IS A GUT PUNCH EVERY FUCKING TIME I HEAR IT. To have Jim’s response be “The thing is Pike, we want things to be nice for you too, buddy.” It is so clear to me how important Pike is to the community, but to Jim and the rest of his posse especially. I just love that Jim takes the time to try to remind Pike that taking care of Henry quietly from the sidelines is just going to leave Pike continuously hurt, because how is Henry supposed to know that Pike cares about him when he is constantly fleeing the room whenever they are in the same space and when he lets Henry think that Widow Thayer is the one that is making all that food for him. 

Have I mentioned that I love Pike Dexter?

Favorite Quote

“Did I teach you shame? Did I teach you that? Cause it would break my heart if I had.” 

Sampa loves Henry and he wants Henry to know that he is a safe person to talk to, that he knows Henry is queer and keeping it from him, and that he wants Henry to tell him. This line also makes me so sad all the time because I know that it’s not true. That Sampa did not teach Henry shame, and I feel so badly that Henry’s (very reasonable) fear of coming out to the only living family member that he has left has placed Sampa in a position where he is worried that he has failed to make Henry feel safe and secure in who he is. 

gif by @thegirlbehindthegasmask

Score 

10/10

Is this actually a perfect movie? Fuck no. There are plenty of things I could nitpick with it, including the fact that I genuinely do not like Henry all that much as far as characters go. BUT. Every single time I watch this movie I am just overflowing with joy, and thus I will not be objective about the quality of the film. 

THIS FILM IS PERFECT BECAUSE PIKE DEXTER IS IN IT AND YOU WILL NEVER CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE!!

gif by @fred-erick-frankenstein

[eldritchmochi]

as an aspec erotic novelist, i second this, this is a great approach. have some additional notes:

loving a person makes that person feel like home

its the little things: remembering how they like their coffee, joking about stealing all the blankets, adjusting your routine to line up with theirs. in jokes and a sense of comfort, where you can be YOURSELF, even if you fear it. knowing what you got yourself into in regards to your love interests quirks and habits, for better or worse. relying on the other person for small things but big things too

being vulnerable, even if its scary as fuck

i write a LOT of aspec characters in my fics, because i am aspec and i honestly really love re-exploring the "wait is THIS what its like to fall in love?" from slightly different angles. i also definitely do it this way to incorporate my slightly disjointed understanding of romantic love as part of my writing style. its been a hit so far lmao

so: for stories specifically focused on romance, i do things like:

- focus on the small things. the electric feel of a calculated "casual" touch of hands or shoulders or maybe knees. the way their face lights up when they catch sight of u. the butterflies when u think of them (which can be largely understandable if u just use "butterflies" to describe it lmao)

- have a magnetic feel. what about the love interest attracts your pov character? BEYOND looks lmao. are they brilliant and your pov character just wants to listen to them talk forever? do they have a skill or trade theyre experienced with? it can honestly be anything, depending on the characters

- wax poetic. doesnt have to be the full purple prose but the romos tend to make your love interest shine like the sun, golden warmth that your pov character cant live without, making the rest of their life feel sunny and bright. the quintessential poem is the love poem for a reason. the beauty of love transcends simple exposition

- dont be afraid to amp up the intensity. its fiction. romance is SUPPOSED to be wish fulfillment. write the kind of romance you think will be fun, whether its the overwhelmed "i have never known love like this" soulmate or the "youre my best friend and i cant live without you" found family or the "your my mirror and my foil and i hate how you see me (please never look away)" enemies to lovers tragedy. if its cheesy and over the top, good, its romance, its supposed to be. if its slow and subtle, good, its romance, its supposed to be. if its awkward and unsure and exploratory, good, its romance, its supposed to be. there's no wrong way to go experience love, and theres no wrong way to PORTRAY love (tho mind the fact that you will never appeal to everyone and you shouldn't try to, so be prepared to brush off butthurt reviews)

this feels very scattered lmao, but im trying not to just completely rehash skyscrib's points, theyre very good points, i just lov talking about The Process :>

hi, skyscribbles!

as an aroace writer myself, i struggle a lot with writing romance. how am i supposed to describe something so foreign to me?

i love how you've written your romances, so i guess what I'm trying to ask is - any tips? help?

Never fear, I have one easy trick that will solve all your romance problems (okay, that's an exaggeration, but it has been a massive help to me):

Just make them influence each other's character growth.

Here's the thing. I truly believe that we don't need to describe romance. We can sit here all day trying to imagine the sensation of romantic attraction, and we can try to capture it in words, but will that make the readers actually care about the pairing? We can say 'A was attracted to B, and it felt like this,' but can that alone convince a reader that A and B have a satisfying narrative to tell together?

We need to structure the story so that it feels as if everything is leading to these characters being together. We need the audience to feel that every interaction between them has payoff. We want them to crave more interactions. We want them to believe that these characters are better together than apart.

So how do we do this? We make each character shape the other one's growth. The result? At the end, each character is a different person to the one they were in the beginning, and it is because the other character was around.

Congratulations! Now these characters are inextricable. They are made from what they learned from each other.

Here are some of my favourite ways to do this:

They push the other character to grow past their flaws. Let's say Character A's flaw is that they struggle to stand up for themself. Have Character B be someone with a strong sense of justice who is horrified by how A lets other people push them around. Thanks to them, A realises they deserve better.

They correct false beliefs about the world that the other character has. For example: have Character A be someone who's been through some shit and thinks the world is universally harsh and cruel. Have Character B be unconditionally kind. Watch Character A go '???' and reconsider their whole worldbiew.

Make the characters have something in common, and then hit them with some good ol' 'learning to love yourself by loving your mirror.' Let's say both characters have done some messed-up things. Character A thinks they could never be forgiven. But hold on - they think B could be forgiven, and if B is just like them... oh no! This means they might not be beyond redemption after all!*

You don't need to describe the feeling of romantic attraction. If you make these characters change each other, the romance will write itself. Because there'll be interesting emotional conflict in how they challenge each other. Because there'll be satisfying narrative payoff in watching them grow past their flaws.

Make the important beats in their personal growth also be important beats in their relationship. Make the growth of the romance plot be inseparable from the growth of them as individuals. Not soulmates as in 'bound by fate', but soulmates as in 'our stories are intertwined, and I would not be myself without you.'

And one last thing: trust yourself. Seriously. As aroace people, we are not missing out on any crucial thing we need to be able to write romance. Think of the people you love most. Think of how they have changed and shaped you. Think of the phrases you started using because they said them; the hobbies and fandoms they introduced you to. Think of what you've learned from them. Think of the memories you share with them.

Think of how you've grown as a person because of them. Think of all the pieces of your loved ones that you have welcomed into your sense of self.

Trust me: you understand love.

—

*Yes, this is just Shadowgast. I'm predictable like that.

[anxiousthoughts365]

Acorn

All ages, everybody lives.

'Bilbo?'

'Mmm?' Bilbo hummed, not looking away from his page. He was entrenched in some old ledgers that Ori had salvaged from the wreckage of the library, and Bilbo had instantly been fascinated by the detailed records that Thorin's forebears had kept about their trading agreements and proposals. It was giving him lots of good ideas.

'Amrâlimê.' Thorin's voice was more insistent this time, coupled with a somewhat impatient squeeze to the Hobbit's hand, which Bilbo had quite forgotten that the King was holding. It made Bilbo drag his eyes away from the meticulous columns of numbers, and he tilted his head to the side when he found his Dwarf looking at him nervously.

'Sorry, my love. What is it?'

'I wonder, do you still have that acorn that Beorn gifted you?'

The question instantly set Bilbo on edge. Of course he still had the acorn - it was tucked away safely in the drawer of his bedside table. When he'd been given it, he had made it quite clear that he intended to plant that acorn back home, in Bag End. But since then, he'd fallen in love with a Dwarrow King, and had made quite a nice, cosy home for himself within a mountain. Thorin's question felt oddly loaded, and Bilbo did not enjoy uncertainty.

'Yes,' he said slowly, cautiously. 'Why?'

'How would you feel ...' Thorin paused, and looked down at Bilbo's hand, which he was now toying with between both of his huge, rough hands. Hands that were often surprising with how gently they could touch. The King swallowed, then asked without looking up, 'How would you feel about planting it here? In Erebor?'

'You know that it would need soil and sunlight, and that it will grow into a very large tree, yes?' Bilbo murmured, not unkindly. His heart leapt at the thought of an oak tree near the mountain - he'd toyed with the idea himself for some time. But Thorin was making it sound as though he planned to plant it ... Inside the mountain?

'I am aware,' Thorin rumbled, finally meeting Bilbo's gaze to flash him a wry smirk. The expression faltered slightly as he pressed on, 'I know that you had planned to plant it in the Shire. And if you still wish to do so, then I would be more than happy to escort you there. But if you are amenable, I wondered if we might dig a space for it here, perhaps in the centre of the mountain? We could transport in the soil, and reflect in the sunlight with the mirrors. And -'

'Alright, I hear that you've clearly thought this through,' Bilbo soothed, laying his hand over Thorin's to still them from their near frantic movements. He smiled a little when the King's shoulders released some tension at his touch before he asked, 'I hear your plan to make this happen, but I have not yet heard why you would want to do it.'

'I feel that it would hold great significance,' Thorin murmured, his eyes finding Bilbo's again. 'For many reasons. I was named for bearing an oaken branch for a shield into battle. And we know that from tiny acorns grow big trees over time, which is how it feels to be growing the popluation of my people here. And then, of course, there's you.'

'Me?'

'You.' Thorin leaned forward, over the small gap between their armchairs positioned side by side in front of the fire, and tucked a curl behind Bilbo's pointed ear. 'You, who carried and cared for such a small thing over such a long, harrowing journey, until it would find its final resting place. You, who helped us to reclaim our mountain, despite being the smallest and most unsuspecting of us. You, Bilbo Baggins, who are, at least in my eyes, the very heart of this mountain.'

Bilbo had to swallow hard against the lump that had risen in his throat before he was able to choke out, 'Let's plant a tree under a mountain, Thorin Oakenshield.'

[liliasenbyhusband]

Play stupid games

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanne x reader (company, f!Bobbie)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, use of strong language, smut, a bit of awkwardness.. that’s it I think?

Tags: smut, angst and fluff, J riding r thigh, fingering (r receiving), switch!Joanne, switch!reader, hickeys, love confessions, domestic fluff, cuddling

Notes: I have to start out by thanking @imorynn once again for beta reading this, listening to my rants about this chapter, and for giving me life with her live comments 🙂‍↕️ thank you so much, my friend, I appreciate you very much 🫂🫶🏻

Secondly, I still am not the greatest smut writer, so I hope it is still an enjoyable read. I also want to take a second to thank everyone who has taken their time to read this series and an extra thanks to the people that have left comments, they truly always make my day 🫶🏻🥰

Now on to the fic!

Words: ~6.8K

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 5: Change the prophecy

You anxiously waited in front of Joanne’s door, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. Today had been incredibly strange and had left you feeling so many emotions that you could barely keep up. Especially your phone call with Joanne.. you still didn’t really understand what had happened. You had gone from relieved and hopeful when you had seen her name flash across your screen, to confused when she hadn’t said a word, to angry and heartbroken when she refused to answer a simple question, making you fear that you already knew the answer and it wasn’t the one you had hoped it would be, and then back to worried and confused at Joanne’s strange behaviour.

And now you were standing in front of her door, your mind coming up with every worst case scenario, telling you she definitely regretted last night and had asked you to come over so she could tell you that it all had been one big mistake and that she hoped you both could forget it. Before you could continue to spiral the door opened and your eyes landed on Joanne’s form, she looked like she was even more anxious than you.. if that was even possible.

She stepped aside to let you in without saying a word, the tension in the air was palpable and you feared it would crush you under its weight if either of you didn’t speak up soon. The feelings whirling inside you made it difficult for you to stay grounded and in the present. You walked inside and automatically made your way over to your usual spot on the couch.

Your anxiety only grew worse as the silence continued to put its unbearable weight on your chest, there was so much you wanted to say, to ask, but you couldn’t bring yourself to, not before you heard what Joanne had to say. You could already guess it was nothing positive… she rarely was this serious and by the way she had acted during your phone call you knew something was wrong. The anger, sadness and hurt you had felt earlier were still very much present but they were currently overtaken by worry.

Joanne finally spoke up, her voice cutting through your thoughts, her eyes flitting from the floor to the wall and behind you to the door, looking anywhere but at you. She sounded scared and small, like she was standing face to face with a large predator. A frown made its way to your face as your worry grew and you fought the urge to reach out to her, to hold her hand in your own. No matter how much she had hurt you, seeing her like this made you want to do whatever you could to comfort her.

“I shouldn’t have left.. this morning… I..I just..”

A groan fell from her lips, you could tell she was starting to get frustrated.. with what or whom you weren’t entirely sure. You could hear the genuine regret in her voice, though that did little to calm your nerves. You began to wonder whether she regretted leaving or the fact that she had woken up in your bed in the first place.

“I thought it would be for the better… then I wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of my own actions..”

Your heart sank as you heard her speak those words, tears filling your eyes but you refused to shed them. Had she really regretted last night that much? Had she hated yesterday so much that she couldn’t bear to face reality.. couldn’t bear to face you the next morning? You wanted to speak, to ask her, but you couldn’t get anything past the lump in your throat so you just let her continue. You watched her as her hands nervously fiddled with the hem of her skirt, while you fought the tears that threatened to spill.

“I realise now that it was unfair to you… and that it left us both with more questions than answers.. so.. I.. I want to rectify that and explain myself.”

Joanne’s voice shook as she talked, she was rambling, like this was a speech she had learned by heart and needed to get out now, before she forgot the words.. or lost the courage to say them. Your frown deepened as you studied her features, trying to find any clue as to what she was about to say next, so you could prepare yourself, your heart, for the inevitable devastating blow that was about to follow.

“Yesterday was…”

‘A mistake, wrong, a one time thing’ your mind unhelpfully finished Joanne’s sentence for her. You bit your lip harshly to try and stop yourself from crying, while you tried your best to focus on Joanne’s words. You looked at the floor, you couldn’t bear to look at her while she would undoubtedly crush all your hopes and dreams.

“perfect.. and then this morning I woke up and all I could think about was how I would inevitably ruin it… like I always do.”

You looked up, shock clearly written all over your features. For the first time since you had arrived Joanne’s eyes met your own. The intensity of the emotions whirling behind those beautiful brown eyes knocked the wind out of you. Never before had she let her eyes display her emotions so openly. You could see hurt, regret, fear and anxiety swirl behind those eyes.. and there was something else, something fighting to make itself known but still being pushed down by the woman in front of you.

“So I left… fled before I could hurt you... before you could regret everything…I’m sorry but I just couldn’t risk tainting you with my baggage.”

She stopped for a moment, she seemed to be mulling something over, uncertainty now joining the many other emotions you could see behind those eyes. Your own emotions became more turbulent, part of you was worried, she had just apologised for the second time in the span of an hour… you had never seen this side of Joanne before, so scared, so small.. you barely even recognized her. You took Joanne’s hand in your own, giving it a gentle squeeze, hoping to be able to give her some sort of comfort.

It looked like she wanted to say something else, but she stopped herself and was now looking at you expectantly. And suddenly it hit you that it was your turn to speak.. you weren’t sure what to say.. you were still trying to make sense of everything Joanne had said.

You weren’t quite sure how you felt.. you had your own internal war waging. Part of you understood, you knew Joanne… or well you had thought you did… you had been aware of her more self conscious side.. but you had no idea it plagued her this badly. Had she really thought this lowly of herself all along? Was she truly convinced that she could only ever ruin you? Your heart broke for her and you wished she could see herself through your eyes. Then she would see the caring, funny and beautiful woman you saw when she allowed you to peer through the cracks in her walls. But part of you was still hurt, wanted more answers, needed to know what this meant for you two in the future. Her words still didn’t make complete sense to you.

You had so much to say, so much to ask, but you couldn’t find the words, nothing felt right. You wanted to soothe the ache she was so clearly feeling but didn’t know how.. Joanne had been right.. this was complicated. You were about to start speaking, unsure of what to say but no longer able to bear this silence, but before your first word could make it past your lips, Joanne began to speak again, seemingly surprising herself.

“Do you regret it.. spending the night with me?”

She blurted the question out, her voice wavering near the end of her sentence. It took you by surprise, you hadn’t expected her to speak again, and you definitely hadn’t expected this question. You could see even more fear and worry fill her captivating eyes, drowning out most other emotions, except for the one that she had been repressing this entire time.. the one you couldn’t put a name on.

“No. Not even a little.”

Your voice came out steadier and stronger than you felt, but you wanted to make sure that she believed you when you told her. You would do it all over again, even if you knew that she would leave the next morning. You had never felt as whole as you did when Joanne had been in your arms, and you would give anything to feel that whole again.. even if it would be ripped away again the next morning.

Joanne seemed to be searching your eyes for something else, something more… or maybe she was just trying to check if you were speaking the truth.. you didn’t dare say anything with certainty anymore. You followed up your statement with a question of your own.

“Do you?”

Your voice was void of any of the strength it held previously. You weren’t sure what you would do if she said she regretted it.. could you even remain friends after that? Your heart was racing inside your chest as you awaited her answer.

“No. I only regret not staying.”

You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, feeling relief wash over you, though confusion soon followed. You were unsure of what her earlier words had meant… you had thought she was telling you that she regretted the evening and couldn’t bear to face the consequences of the night you had spent together. You studied Joanne’s features and tried to make sense of the situation but failed completely.

Joanne’s lower lip wobbled a little and you could see the frustration grow on her features as her brow furrowed. She took a deep breath, her voice a little steadier as she asked the next question, although her eyes betrayed the growing terror inside her.

“Was it just a way to blow off some steam for you?”

You were a little shocked by the question, you thought you had been quite obvious last night… but then again you also thought that Joanne had basically admitted to liking you back last night, only for her to disappear the next day so.. maybe you should stop making assumptions.

Your heart hammered inside your chest as your rational side told you to lie, told you to take the safe path.. that way if Joanne wanted it to be a one night stand, you could go back to being friends and nothing had to change. But you couldn’t lie to her, not when it came to something as important as this.. not when you could potentially hurt the woman in front of you, when she had been brave enough to ask the questions that you hadn’t been able to voice.

“No, no of course not! I.. had wanted to do that for a long time and then when you were so clearly jealous I…well.. I assumed we felt the same.. and I thought I had been quite obvious last night when we… that it was more than just lust and desire. I-”

You stopped yourself from rambling on and let go of Joanne’s hand. You began fidgeting with your fingers, looking down at your hands, unable to continue looking at the woman in front of you. You had just basically handed her your heart on a silver platter. Sure you were being vague, but even with these simple sentences you had given her the power to smash your already battered heart into a million bits and pieces. Your anxiety spiked so much that you felt nauseous, and your head was reeling with all the possible ways this could go horribly wrong.

The silence dragged on for what felt like an eternity, your mind convinced you that this silence wasn’t a good sign. You were about to tell Joanne to just forget everything you said when she finally spoke up. Her voice was hurried, like she was trying to get the words out before she could change her mind.

“I love you... I’m in love with you.. and it scares me. But we can never happen, because once you get to really know me, you will end up hating me and I will lose you completely and I can’t.. I can’t lose you.”

You looked up at her after the first three words and saw the conflicting emotions in her eyes. The sadness, the hurt, the fear and then the feeling you hadn’t been able to figure out… love… it was so obvious now.. how had you not realised it sooner? The happiness you felt at her confession, at knowing she felt the same way, was quickly erased when she continued. You could hear the terror in her voice, the pain behind her words and it ached.. ached to see her so fearful, so sure that nothing good could ever come from loving or being loved by her.

You watched as a tear made its way past her defenses, so you gently cupped her cheek and wiped it away with your thumb as you looked at her with nothing but love, understanding and care in your eyes. Your own pain was forgotten, the only thing that mattered now was to somehow make the woman in front of you understand that even if her hands disintegrated your heart by simply touching it, you would still gladly hand it over, it was already hers anyway.

Joanne leaned into your touch and looked up at you with unshed tears in her eyes and you could tell she was fighting to not raise up her walls once again, to defend her heart and never let anyone in, ever again.

When you spoke, your voice was soft yet steady, you made sure to look into her eyes so she could see the care and love you felt for her clearly displayed in your own.

“You could never lose me, I have been yours for longer than I care to admit and nothing you do could change that. No matter what happens after today, no matter what we decide to do, my heart will remain here with you, in its rightful place, your beautiful hands.”

You took her hands in your own once again and lifted them up to your mouth, gently kissing them both as you looked into her eyes before continuing.

“What you choose to do with it is up to you, it’s yours now. Whether you tear it up to pieces or treat it as a precious artifact, it doesn’t matter. I know you, I have seen the real Joanne, and it’s that Joanne that I have fallen madly and irrevocably in love with.”

Earlier your fear may have made you doubt whether you knew her at all, but knowing what you did now, after having been allowed to look past her defenses and into her heart, you were more certain than ever that you knew her, that you had gotten to see the real woman behind the façade that she had created to protect herself.

Joanne stared up at you, the whirlwind behind her eyes intensified, your words of devotion stirring something deep within her. Terror and love seemed to be battling one another as she tried to find the words to respond to you.

You waited patiently, despite your words and the steadiness of your voice, you weren’t as calm as you seemed. Your heart was hammering inside your chest, it had taken all of your strength and courage to speak so openly about your feelings, and that courage and strength were now being tested as silence had once again filled the air.

“If you’re willing to risk your heart.. then.. then so am I.”

Your heart skipped a beat as her words reached your ears, you could barely believe this was actually happening, this definitely wasn’t how you expected this to go, but you weren’t complaining. You couldn’t stop the smile that made its way to your face as you watched the corners of Joanne’s mouth twitch into a small and timid smile of her own.

As you looked into her eyes you could see the war she had been fighting earlier still seemed to be waging beneath the surface. Though it was clear that one side was winning, luckily for you it was the side you were rooting for.

“So what do we do now? … You’d think I’d be better at this after three marriages..”

The laugh that followed was filled with both joy and anxiety. You knew what she was doing, trying to diffuse the situation with a joke, trying to hide how terrified she really was, but you saw right through it, you didn’t even need to peer through the cracks in her walls anymore, because her walls had come down, and you could see her clear as day now.

“Now you let me take you out on a proper date.”

You sounded confident and determined, and although you might still feel a little nervous, those nerves were overshadowed by the happiness and disbelief you were currently feeling. Although those in turn couldn’t compare to the intensity of the love you currently felt for Joanne.

“I’m free tomorrow.”

You didn’t miss the mischievous glint in her eyes as she spoke. You raised your eyebrow questioningly, you had expected her to demand you take her on a date right this second.. keeping yesterday’s impatience and the clear eagerness in her voice in mind. But before you could question her on it, she continued.

“Today we’re spending the rest of the day in here. I have some making up to do.”

You laughed, completely shocked at how she had suddenly turned into her bossy self again. Normally you would have rolled your eyes at her demands and teased her a little before giving in, but right now you were just too happy to see Joanne regain some of her confidence, without her putting her walls back up.

“And what kind of making up did you have in mind, exactly, darling?”

You asked as innocently as you could, while you felt your heart slowly starting to repair itself… no.. no it wasn’t healing itself… it was being healed by the woman in front of you. She looked at you with such adoration in her eyes, even when that mischievous glint shone in those brown hues, that looking into them felt like she was applying a soothing balm on your aching wound. There was a healing property in the way her lips twitched into a playful smirk as she thought of all the lude ways she could respond. And the trust she displayed in you, by letting her feelings be so clearly seen, by not immediately putting her walls back up, by letting you, and only you, see this side of her, bandaged your heart up with such care and love that you might just forget it had been hurt in the first place.

Joanne straddled your lap, her skirt hiking up just a little to make the movement possible, and threw her arms around your neck.

“I have an idea or two in mind… but why don’t you tell me how you would like me to.. make amends.”

You rested your hands on her hips and found that they fit perfectly like two puzzle pieces finally connecting, like your bodies had been molded for one another. Your eyes traveled back up to her own and chuckled lowly when you saw desire take over those captivating brown eyes. Leave it to Joanne to somehow turn this situation into something filthy.

“You could start by kissing me. I missed having your lips on mine.”

You didn’t miss the little smile gracing Joanne’s face before she captured your lips with her own. You had expected her to kiss you like she had last night, hungry, full of need and desire, her lust barely concealed. So when she kissed you and poured all of her feelings into it, when the kiss was soft, loving and tender, you had been surprised to say the least. Sure there was want and need there.. but it was like those feelings no longer mattered, they didn’t have the upper hand. She wasn’t kissing you to get you into bed, she was kissing you to express her love and care for you.

You kissed her back with that same intensity, pouring every single thing you felt for her into the kiss, your thumbs softly caressing her clothed hips, as if you needed something to ground yourself, to remind you that this was real, that she really was here, you could feel her, right here in your hands.

When Joanne pulled back, in need of air, she rested her forehead against yours, her nose lightly nuzzling yours as she tried to catch her breath. Her hand came up to ever so gently wipe away a tear that had made its way down your cheek. You hadn’t even been aware of its journey till the back of Joanne’s fingers carefully brushed it away. She ever so gently pressed a kiss to your cheek, as if to soothe the spot where your tear had just fallen.

“Oh baby…”

Her voice was soft, warm and full of concern, a frown made its way to her face, and she was about to continue talking when you interrupted her.

“A happy tear, my love, I never thought I’d get to experience this.”

You sent her a reassuring smile and a chuckle while you softly squeezed her hips to emphasise your words. Joanne searched your eyes, you assumed she was looking to see if you were telling the truth, when she seemed to be pleased with the answer you had given her, her eyes drifted to your neck, the marks she had left the night before clearly visible. Her fingers slowly and carefully began to trace them, as if she was entranced by them.

“You really did a number on me.”

You said teasingly, a triumphant smile appearing on your lips when the slightest hint of a blush appeared on Joanne’s cheeks. Her eyes met yours again as she raised her eyebrow questioningly, before playfully responding.

“You’re one to talk. Have you seen the battlefield you left behind?”

Now it was your turn to blush, which had Joanne looking entirely too pleased with herself. You rolled your eyes while trying your best to make the blush disappear.

You were about to answer when a stomach growl interrupted you. The playfulness that hung in the air slowly dissipated and concern laced itself within your features.

“Have you eaten anything today?”

Your voice filled with care and a tinge of worry as you asked the question, you didn’t need a response to know the answer, the guilty look on her face betrayed her. You looked at your phone to check the time, 5 pm, you looked back up at her disapprovingly before speaking again, not waiting for an answer.

“Let me see if you have anything in that kitchen of yours.”

You lightly patted her hips, as a sign for her to get off, so you could search her fridge and pantries in the hopes of finding anything edible. As Joanne climbed off of your lap and back onto the couch, your own stomach grumbled… maybe you had been a little bit of a hypocrite. Joanne crossed her arms and tilted her head, matching the look you had given her earlier. You shot her a sheepish grin before getting up and walking to the kitchen, starting your quest for food.

You had to admit you already missed having Joanne in your lap, you liked having her that close, her scent invading your senses, feeling her weight on you, having her ass and tits both in groping distance. You quickly tried to rid yourself of that last thought as you opened Joanne’s pantries.

You grabbed all the ingredients you’d need for a decent pasta sauce and began working on making dinner. This definitely wasn’t the first time you’d cooked for Joanne at her place, but it was the first time you’d cook for her as her.. well what were you? You sure as hell were much more than just friends now… problems for another time, you decided as you continued working on the food.

You suddenly felt two arms wrap around your waist, followed by gentle kisses being placed on the side of your neck. You instinctively leaned into her touch before turning your head a little. You chuckled as you saw Joanne stand on her tippy toes to be able to reach your neck better.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur of domestic bliss. After a while Joanne had moved from hugging you from behind, to sitting on the kitchen counter, stealing kisses whenever she could. She had demanded to taste the sauce and had playfully given you directions on how to make it better.

During dinner the air had been filled with light banter and teasing remarks. Joanne’s foot had made its way up your calf more than once, but whenever she drew a reaction from you she stopped and with every frustrated huff you let out, her smirk grew. Once you had both finished eating, her hand reached out over the table for yours and you intertwined your fingers with hers. Her thumb softly stroked the back of your hand as you talked for.. well you weren’t sure for how long… it had felt like time stood still in that moment, the only thing that mattered was Joanne and you in this very moment.

After cleaning up the kitchen together, you went back to Joanne’s comfortable couch and turned on the television. Joanne clearly wanted to be close to you, but still was too proud to actually admit it, so she had sat down next to you without cuddling up to you. You internally rolled your eyes and pulled her into your side. Her fake protest soon faltered as her head found its way to your shoulder while she curled up into your side, tugging her legs beneath her while wrapping her arms around you.

It didn’t take long before Joanne had apparently decided that you were far more interesting than whatever show she had put on. She began by placing soft and innocent kisses on the marks on your neck that she had left yesterday, those kisses were soon replaced by more hungry ones as she sought out places she had previously left unmarked and began to add new hickeys to the already large collection. As you were about to complain about her being a tease, she turned off the tv and muttered against your neck.

“I still have some making up to do.”

You chuckled lowly as you pulled her back into your lap, her teasing had left you impatient and ready to tear off her clothes. You somehow managed to control yourself and with a raspy voice whispered in her ear.

“I’m going to make you earn it, darling.”

You placed a kiss behind her ear, drawing a soft moan from Joanne, while you hiked her skirt up over her ass before you roughly squeezed it. You pulled back a little and watched as her eyes filled with lust. You kissed her hungrily and passionately, a contrast to the kiss from earlier.

She didn’t waste a second and kissed you back with the same amount of need and want as you had displayed. With the way she was positioned in your lap, you could feel the effect your words and the kiss had had on her, which caused you to smirk against her mouth.

You gently bit her bottom lip, which caused her to gasp out a moan and whine against your mouth, which made it easier for your tongue to push past her lips. Your tongue explored her mouth and teased her tongue until there was no air left in your lungs. You pulled back reluctantly and rested your forehead against hers before rasping out.

“If I knew this is how today was going to turn out I would have brought my strap, I bet you would look so pretty riding it.”

The thought seemed to appeal to Joanne because you could feel the way her pussy throbbed at the thought. She bit her lip and her pupils dilated and you had to admit you enjoyed seeing the bossy woman turn into a needy mess, just at the thought of riding your strap.

“For now my thigh will have to do.”

Joanne didn’t need any other directions as she placed one knee in between your legs and the other on the left side of your leg, positioning her center right on your thigh. You made her lift her hips a little so you could hike your own dress up to your hips, wanting to feel the woman on top of you grind herself against your bare skin. You pushed her back down on your thigh again and gasped a little when you felt just how soaked she was, which caused Joanne’s cheeks to be painted in the faintest shade of red.

You pushed her skirt up over her hips so she could move easier, before getting rid of her shirt and bra, your hands quickly replacing the fabric. You began to massage her voluptuous breasts before crashing your lips against Joanne’s once again.

When she didn’t continue to grind against your thigh, your hands moved to her hips, pushing her down harder against your thigh, before slowly beginning to move them for her, hoping she would get the message. Joanne seemed to understand because seconds later she began to ride your thigh on her own accord.

Your hands moved to her ass, giving it a harder squeeze, which caused her to groan against your mouth before pulling back in need of air. You massaged her ass roughly while your mouth found its way to her boobs, hungrily sucking, biting and licking any skin it could reach.

The sounds that spilled out of Joanne’s mouth as her head fell back and the way her underwear grew more and more soaked by the second, only fuelled your actions, making sure to give both boobs the same amount of attention while your nails dug into the ample flesh of her ass. Joanne arched her back and pushed her breasts harder against your mouth as her breathing became ragged and her movements became more erratic. Her hands had landed on your shoulders, holding them tightly as if she were trying to ground herself by holding on to you.

Your hands moved to her hips and you began to guide her hips, helping her to keep a steady rhythm. You flexed your thigh while reluctantly pulling your mouth away from her boobs.

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart. You look absolutely divine like this.”

You whispered as you looked up at her. You meant every word, she looked absolutely stunning. Her skin was gleaming from sweating and had gained a few new marks, her brows were knitted together, her chest heaved up and down as her breathing became shallow, and her mouth hung open as she let every filthy sound escape from between her lips.

“Are you going to ruin those panties for me, hmmm? Are you going to cum just from riding my thigh?”

Your words came out hurried as you were making a mess of your own underwear, as you watched Joanne try and fail to come up with a witty response, instead losing herself in chasing her own high. You had half the mind to tease her for it, but you were too lost in watching her hump your thigh while you guided her hips.

You watched as she toppled over the edge, moaning your name while her nails dug into your shoulders almost painfully. Her rhythm slowed and you helped her ride through her orgasm as you whispered praises in her ear before she collapsed into you. You gently stroked her back and placed a gentle kiss on her temple.

When her breathing evened out you carefully picked her up, which caused her to yelp and you to chuckle, and carried her to her bedroom. You gently placed her on the bed as she murmured something about being able to walk, before you crawled on top of her.

“After that little performance, you deserve to lay back and relax.”

You smirked as you got rid of her skirt while placing butterfly kisses all over her naked front and belly. After discarding her skirt, you planned to get rid of the panties she had ruined earlier, but were interrupted when Joanne spoke up.

“No, wait…”

You stopped immediately, concern visible in your eyes as you searched her desire filled ones for any sign of discomfort.

“I want to make you feel good.. show me how.”

There was a touch of vulnerability in the way she commanded you, something softer in the way she asked, it was subtle, but it was there. She looked up at you with her pleading eyes, her hands softly tugging at your dress. How could you deny her anything when she looked up at you with those big brown eyes?

“Yes ma’am.”

You answered teasingly before you let her take off your dress and watched as her eyes roamed your body. Her hands made light work of your bra and tossed it across the room, you got up and sent your panties flying after it, before crawling back on top of her. Joanne’s hands landed on your hips and before you even properly realized what she was doing, she had switched your positions. You were now laid on your back, looking up at the woman who mere seconds ago was laying beneath you. She was acting more confident than she actually felt though, you could tell by the look in her eyes and the slight hesitancy when she reached out to touch your chest. You were quick to reassure her.

“I’ll tell you what feels good, honey, just think of what you like when you touch yourself and we’ll start from there.”

You rasped out as you gently took her wrists in your hands and guided her hands to your chest. Your encouragement seemed to give her more confidence as she slowly massaged your boobs, her thumbs teasingly caressing your nipples. You let out a soft moan and were about to encourage her when she surged forward to capture your lips with hers. Her thumbs began to circle your nipples, which caused you to push your chest against her hands and to moan against her mouth.

Her mouth travelled to your sternum, the kisses she left on her way there were soft at first but quickly turned into sucking at biting at the skin as she reached her destination. Clearly she had decided it was her turn to leave some marks. You moaned out her name along with some praises as one of your hands tangled in her hair. Once your nipples hardened she flicked them with her thumb, causing you to whine.

After watching Joanne fuck herself on your thigh, you were already soaked, and you really needed Joanne to take care of the mess she had created.. and was currently creating. So with the hand that was still holding her wrist, you slowly guided her hand down to where you needed her most, which caused Joanne to pause her assault on your chest. You gave her time enough to protest and closely watched her reaction as you guided her hand.

She seemed eager but nervous so you voiced how you were feeling, hoping to help her get out of her own head a little.

“I need you, baby, I’m soaked. You’ve made quite the mess. Do you wanna feel?”

You paused your descent on top of your mound and watched as her pupils dilated with desire. She hoarsely managed to mumble a “yes” while her hand began to move of her own accord. Her gaze remained trained on you while she carefully slid two of her fingers between your folds, a gasp falling from her mouth when she felt just how wet you were for her.

“All for you.”

You moaned out as her fingers slowly and carefully made their way up and down your slit. You pulled her in for a kiss, your tongue sliding over her bottom lip as you moaned against her mouth. Those moans turned into whines when Joanne’s fingers found your clit. Her free hand continued its work on your boob, massaging it a little rougher and pinching your nipple every once in a while.

She pulled back from the kiss and tentatively circled your clit, you could feel her eyes on you, watching any reaction closely, looking for reassurance. You let out every filthy sound that bubbled its way to the surface, which made Joanne more sure in her movements. She applied a little more pressure to your clit and rubbed tighter circles as she picked up speed.

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart.”

You managed to get out in between moans, praises falling freely from your lips. Your hands settled in the sheets beneath you as you felt your walls flutter around nothing. You desperately needed her fingers inside you, you had waited for this moment for a long while and your patience was running thin.

“I need you inside me.”

You breathed out, the need clear in your words as you looked up at those hungry eyes. Joanne didn’t need to be told twice and slowly pushed her two fingers inside you, which caused you to moan Joanne’s name. You growled a curse when she began moving her fingers in and out of you, slowly and tentatively at first, but your whines spurred her on and soon she started picking up her pace and moving her fingers with more certainty.

“Fuck! Just like that, Joanne….”

You gasped when she found the perfect rhythm, you moved your hips to try and meet it. You could feel your thighs begin to shake as your orgasm neared. You incoherently mumbled something about being close as you grasped the sheets beneath you tightly.

“Cum for me, baby.”

She whispered into your ears, her voice low and sultry, though barely hiding the desire to watch you come undone by her own hands. That little sentence in combination with Joanne continuing her efforts and beginning to circle your clit with her thumb, was all it took to send you over the edge. You came all over her fingers, gasping her name as you threw your head back in pleasure.

You came back down to earth, your chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath, letting go of the sheets and whining when Joanne gently pulled her fingers out, looking mighty proud of herself. She wrapped her lips around her fingers and licked and sucked them clean, moaning at your taste, while never looking away from you. You let out something between a moan and a groan as you watched her, this woman was going to drive you insane.

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

You chuckled breathlessly as you watched Joanne get rid of her ruined underwear before laying down next to you and pulling you closer to her.

“You’re so dramatic.”

She teased, playfully rolling her eyes. You watched as the last bit of tension finally left her body as your head found its place on her chest. You listened to her heartbeat as she played with your hair, placing soft and loving kisses on the skin you could reach.

You could feel yourself growing sleepy when the negative thoughts began to swarm your mind, the fear of her once again disappearing before you woke, settled into your chest. So you broke the comfortable silence, the confidence you had previously displayed now completely gone and replaced by uncertainty and anxiety.

“Please don’t leave.”

You knew you were at her place and that the fear wasn’t logical, but you couldn’t help the terror that had settled deep within you. You felt her movements still for a moment, which caused you to worry that you may have ruined the moment completely. But before you could spiral you felt Joanne place the softest kiss on the top of your head before speaking in a soft voice.

“I’ll be right here in the morning.”

Her voice was steady and reassuring and clearly conveyed the seriousness and honesty of her message. So you decided to trust her and let sleep wash over you while you listened to Joanne’s heartbeat.

The next morning when you awoke, you felt the heat of Joanne’s body beneath you and could hear her soft snores above you. You couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across your lips as you opened your eyes, looked up and saw an adorable, sleeping Joanne, snoring softly.

[wyervan]

Heyy, I really wanted to say how obsessed I'd been with your DCA Slasher Au! I LOVE the designs, the little things you tell us about them and all of that. It's really really cool. I also like A LOT your art style🫂

Also I wanted to share from here some doodles I'd been doing because I'm really embarrassed to share them in my blog but whateverr. As I say.. loved the designs and obviously I had to draw them with my baby (He has seen the horrors)

Also I'm not really sure if you already answered this (feel free to ignore it if so) but..

- Are you planning to make it a fic? Like in Ao3 or some sort of. Or maybe comics or short chapters?

- Are you telling us/showing us more of The Glamrocks in the story?

- What is the relation between Vanessa and Star/y/n?? Friends, It is casual? I really really like Vanessa and if you are ok with it could you tell us what does she thinks of Sun and Moon?

Anyways thank youu you are so cool yay people cheered🫂🫂👏💚

omg you like my style?? No I like your style dude. It’s feels so down to earth? Genuine? You got some great gesture happening in your lines. And you make me laugh 😝

I am planning on doing a fic! But I don’t have the full plot figured out 🤔. I have this fear that if I start writing and publishing chapters without knowing all the details, later on I’ll find out there’s a big plot hole. And then I sweep the rug out from people by going back and needing to change what I’ve already written.

I know though that my own perfectionism often holds me back so I should probably just slap myself on the ass and get to writing at least the first two chapters. I have a very clear idea of how they’ll go.

Yes it would be going on AO3 (as soon as i figure out the tagging culture over there). I will ofc be continuing to do short comics and illustrations alongside any writing.

I’m actually in the middle of doing some design exploration with the Glamrocks rn! Hopefully I’ll be able to share some sketches with you guys by the end of the weekend~~ They are side characters but I want them to be more than just fluff or cameos, ya kno what I mean?

Ahh~~ and Vanessa, nobody’s asked about her yet :3c. I do in fact see her and y/n Star as becoming aquatinted, perhaps to the surprise of both of them!

Vanessa is a cop! Disappearances around town have put a lot of pressure on her small department and she’s had to pay the arcade a visit more than once to take routine statements on a couple of the missing people.

Her presence around the arcade puts Smoon on edge for obvious reasons, though she has no idea why. For now she chalks it up to the general anxiety people get around police and… they’re just… strange men.

[oneforthemunny]

i’m back and feeling better. not great but better.

i’m going on a rant and i’m sorry in advanced. i can’t get into a therapy appointment, so you guys will have to hear it lol.

i’m just going through a lot and need to get it out. i’ve tried to keep it in bc i don’t want to burden my friends bc i feel annoying and they don’t understand.

this one really effected me but let me just say this, and i know this will shock a lot of you:

i didn’t dog cuss this man. or berate him, like old evie would have done. and maybe that’s me being too forgiving, but i’m proud of myself. i stood up for myself when he was being weird and showing red flags and put a stop to it in a mature way.

he didn’t react well, which i’m not shocked, because he has his own healing. and i know deep down, i did the best thing for both of us. i was kind to him throughout our interactions, and maybe i shouldn’t have been, but for me, i’m glad i was.

i’ve been working very hard on being kinder and no one talks about how fucking hard it is. how there’s a fine line between being kind and being walked all over. and people have no problem stomping all over that line.

but for me, i had a friend, who unfairly isn’t here anymore, who showed me kindness when i really fucking needed it. and i didn’t deserve her, or anyone’s, kindness at the time, but yet she gave it to me. so freely and effortlessly and it changed my life. my whole fucking life. i would not be here if it wasn’t for that.

when she passed, it was so easy for me to be bitter and to be angry. i could have easily been vile and mean to everyone i met, a lot of them i could have rationalized that they deserved it. because she was so kind and wasn’t here, and there were so many who should have, myself at the top of that list, been taken instead.

but i was stuck with the haunting thought that if she can’t be here, and she loved life so fucking much, that i owed her the effort to try and love it as much as she did. to treat others the way she did, the way she treated me. her impact on me, i can’t put into words. i just hope she knows.

i’m saying all of this, putting it out here into the void or universe or whatever, because her death anniversary is fastly approaching. it’s a big one, and though i feel i should be used to it by now, i can’t help but feel every emotions more severely than it’s been before.

i miss her everyday. and when i started talking to this guy, i was excited. and that excitement brought me small, temporary happiness that masked emotions that were hidden underneath.

i think what hurts me most of all is i wanted to talk to her about it. about anything and everything. and i can’t.

but i feel in my heart, in my soul, that she was looking out for me. that she’d be proud of my growth, of my confidence, and most of all that i’m fighting every fucking day to be kinder.

i know it wasn’t him. he was just a fucking guy, and one, quite honestly, i know wouldn’t be good for me. i’ve taken up using the phrase “my future husband would never” and i stand by it (we know my hubby mafia!eddie would fucking never and he’s the standard).

all of this stupid fucking rant to say, i’m just hurting right now. and all of you have shown me such kindness, and i really can’t thank you enough because i am at a low i haven’t been at in a while.

i have no idea what i’m doing with my life. I’m just trying to be kind, and be and do better in every way.

i’m being really vulnerable, because i know many of you think i’m a confident cunt (and i usually am) but even confident cunts have really bad spells too. i’m actually very sensitive under all of this, and i know someone out there feels the same way and i hope you know you’re not alone. and i want to thank you all for making me feel like i’m not alone.

[ducktracy]

> online animation community wants 2d animation to make a comeback in theatres > mainstream 2d animated film currently in theatres > barely see online animation community talking about it > ?????

Should I be worried? I really want this film to do good… (love the new banner btw <3)

i agree that hypocrisy is often extremely prevalent in online animation communities, but i don't like putting the blame on consumers (or, at least, people going "YOU ARE ACTIVELY HURTING THE LIVELIHOODS OF THE ANIMATORS IF YOU DO NOT SEE AND SUPPORT THIS FILM RIGHT NOW", ESPECIALLY when people working in animation spread that message--which, nobody has been doing for this film, but i do see it sometimes.) it's just going to turn people away even more and turns the moviegoing experience into an obligation, which should never be the case (perhaps in contrast to my own excessive advertising of the film!). there are certainly people who could benefit to own up to their word, but, ultimately, it's not the consumer's fault that the film has essentially been set-up for failure by nearly being written off and sent off to a very small distributor. the public is not responsible for the irresponsibility of the higher ups. i can't get too mad at people not knowing about the film because.. well, it's by design.

personally, i'm avoiding all talks or acknowledgement of the box office. this film has been through the wringer and back and it's amazing that it's even released at all, much less theatrically. its existence is a win in itself. it would be wonderful to even see it break a profit--i'll be realistic and say i personally am not sure if that'll be the case, but i would love to be wrong! but i think it's just a genuine miracle that this film has survived, much less even been made at all. it really feels like it shouldn't have. but it has, and its survived against all odds.

and while i'm keeping expectations realistic about box office numbers, i still think it's incredibly important to try anyway. this probably won't make a huge turnaround. try anyway. yes, it's a miracle that the movie exists in itself, and that is worth celebrating alone. convince anyone and everyone you know to go see it anyway. people working on the film themselves are saying that your--our--support makes a difference. even if it feels "redundant", try anyway.

so, no, i wouldn't essentially be "worried". encourage your friends to see it, go see it yourself, patronize it in any way you can. instead of getting mad at people not talking about it, pick up the slack yourself and spark a domino effect of difference. i've been so overjoyed to hear how many people i've convinced to see the film. please keep it coming! i wouldn't have done it if i wasn't persistent about it, likely to a degree of annoyance haha! i think, genuinely, much of the problem is that people simply don't know about it. it's not out of spite or willful ignorance. it's because WB doesn't want people to know about it. it has literally been set-up for failure. that's not the fault of the consumer. so just do what you can, spread the message and use positive reinforcement instead of shaming people (not saying you are!! but just in general), and, most importantly, ENJOY IT!! enjoy the novelty of seeing 2D animation on the big-screen. enjoy the novelty of seeing a funny, gorgeous and heartwarming movie. enjoy a very welcome distraction from The Horrors (this has been the carrot dangling over my head to get out of bad times for years, and now i'm kind of falling into a depression that it's "over" haha). spread the news and spread the love

and THANK YOU!!!! i'm always so hesitant to change my theme, but i just HAD to.. it's the cutest thing i've ever seen and just feels right at home here. gifs that radiate happiness. i'm happy you like it!!

[fridayyy-13th]

y'all i'm like. so tired and overwhelmed right now. dare i even say sad.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]