#and it IS difficult. but you know what resonates more with me than ignoring it. acknowledgement and accommodation.

[neon-wool]

Short answer: Buy them yourself or ask your dad, either should be fine. Asking your mum to buy something for your dad’s house sounds more likely to cause drama in an already tense situation.

Long answer: Anon, it sounds like you’ve had a difficult upbringing, and I feel for you. Obviously I don’t know you, so take everything I'm about to write with a big pinch of salt... take anything that resonates and ignore the rest.

It sounds like you’ve formed some pretty intense anxiety around relationships that's affecting your daily life. For most people, buying posters for their room would be a very simple issue that requires almost no thought. They'd never think to ask permission for something they were paying for, and there would be no pressure to open up about liking the tv show in advance, just in case a parent's feelings were hurt. They'd talk about the show if they happened to feel like it, or not, without thinking much of it.

However for you it sounds like there's a strong fear of judgement from your dad if you admit to liking the show, but on the flipside you worry not telling him in advance could somehow hurt him, make him feel betrayed, or undermine your relationship. Most people wouldn't have these worries at all. Has he given you a reason to think he's that judgemental or fragile? Or is it possible you're catastrophising?

Looking at the level of intensity you’re applying to the situation, it seems to me this isn’t really about the tv show or the poster at all. Perhaps the strong emotions are about how you’d like to connect more with your dad and feel closer to him. There may also be some amount of underlying trauma from your upbringing, which sounds like it had some significant issues.

My advice is: be kind to yourself, and try to take the pressure off for now. Your dad is very unlikely to be hurt by you buying a poster. What’s important is finding ways to connect to your loved-ones and feel cared for, and exploring complicated emotions about your childhood. That takes time.

From what you wrote, it sounds like your dad does actually take an interest in your hobbies when you bring them up, and you generally do feel he’s quite supportive. That’s a good thing, and more than some people have with their parents. The main problem you have right now is that he doesn’t approach you first, and he doesn’t open up about himself much either. You also feel he has an outdated view of you and still sees you as a child.

Sometimes it takes active communication to shift your relationships forward in the direction you want them to go. Sometimes parents have their own issues, or just lack social skills, so they may not realise how their words and actions are affecting you. If you think his view of you is stuck in the past, and you want him to see you as who you are now, then you're going to need to have the courage to assert yourself as who you are now.

If talking to him about this show is causing a lot of anxiety I won't push you to do that immediately. But I would suggest you look again at that fear. You said in the past he's been supportive when you talked about your interests, and you know the idea of him thinking the show is too weird/violent is unlikely since he already enjoys that kind of show himself. Putting that together it's hard to see why you're so afraid of mentioning this to him, perhaps this fear is a result of the chronic overthinking you mentioned.

Let's play out the worst-case scenario: you tell him, and he says "oh that's a pretty violent show, it's not for me" or he just doesn't understand why you like it... why is that such a problem? It's ok for him to see that you are an adult with your own taste, which might not always match his. Doesn't sound like there's anything seriously problematic about the show. How would it feel to just sit with the fact that you like it, and he might not like it, and that's ok? Having different taste in tv shows isn't going to mean he stops liking you as a person.

If this whole subject causes you intense stress, and you have anxiety about the relationship being damaged by small things like this, I think that's something you need to take note of, and perhaps get some outside support for.

However if you feel able to, I’d recommend taking a deep breath and just telling him about the show, in a casual way, just for the sake of opening up. It sounds like the odds of him enjoying it too are pretty decent! And if he isn't into it, maybe you could be ok with that. I'd also recommend the idea (when you feel ready) of just telling him, in a positive way, that you enjoy talking to him about your interests, you want to learn more about his interests too, and you’d like to have a good friendship and get to know him more as you become an adult.

Eventually, if you feel closer to him over time, you might feel able to open up about the distance and ‘privacy’ your parents kept in childhood, and how this has affected you. There might be some difficult emotions to process there. Parents have their own baggage, and can be very stuck in their own perspective. If you continue building on the relationship and trust you have with him now, there might be more space for him to reflect on those issues in the future, in a way that would be healing for both of you.

Navigating family relationships can be very complicated. Sometimes you feel someone has hurt you, but it wasn’t intentional, so what do you do with that hurt? Do they even realise they hurt you? Perhaps they do love you and do make an effort, but is that enough? Could they have done more? Will they ever see or acknowledge or make amends for the hurt they caused? Perhaps you wish you could be closer, and perhaps you really wish they would be the one to reach out first, you really wish they would just ‘get it’ and grow of their own accord… but wishing won’t change the situation. Maybe you'll be the one who has to set things in motion and push for growth, even though you didn't cause the situation. Life is messy. Growth is messy. It can be hard to know exactly what you want, or how to achieve it. But there's time, it doesn't all need to happen straight away.

I can’t answer any of these questions, or even know if they're the right questions for you. Finding a healthy balance can be hard. It’s up to each individual to judge their own situation, their own sense of fairness and hurt, and how much effort is worth putting into a relationship. Of course, parents hold the responsibility of forming healthy relationships with their children as they grow up, not the other way round. Sometimes they really fail at that job. Other times it’s a complex mixture of good and bad. Even with genuine effort there are many things which hold people back, people have their own traumas, everyone has their own narrow perspective. You can have sympathy for your parents’ limitations, and be willing to work with them and have patience, but simultaneously accept that you've always deserved to feel loved and safe and supported, and maybe you didn't always get that. The sacrifices and effort shouldn’t all be on your side.

As you become an adult, you have more choices about how you interact with your parents, and more agency in how you handle the relationship. Again, without knowing your situation I can’t say for sure, but just from what you’ve written here… my advice would be to take it slow, and try not to over-analyse every little thing. Don't try to come up with all the answers straight away. Instead, step back and look at the big picture of your upbringing and parental relationships, both the good and the bad.

Maybe start writing a journal about it, just noting down any thoughts that come up and letting yourself vent. A well-hidden private journal is great because it gives you space to try out lots of random thoughts and ideas, and see what actually makes sense. You don’t have to judge what you write, or draw any conclusions. You can write whatever pops into your head, and then ask “is this really what I feel? Does this make sense to me?” Then you can re-read it months later, suddenly see something you didn’t before, and a new piece clicks into place.

Good luck anon, I hope you find a way forward over time, and I hope you enjoy the posters!

This is not a yes/no poll but I don’t know who else to consult.

My parents and I are not close. I'm closer with my dad, but he doesn't know about any of my interests due to the way me and my sister were taught about 'privacy' growing up. I am not close with my mum at all and I only talk to her when I have to.

When me and my sister were growing up, we were not told any of our parents' interests/hobbies, and were always told not to look at what people were doing. I think this is what led us to both be so hidden(?) from our parents, and is why this problem exists in the first place.

My dad doesn’t really buy anything for me, nor does he try to learn about my interests (but he will listen when he does learn about them. He likes that I like stuff, he just doesn’t actively seek that information out). My mum is the one who will buy me things, but it’s gotten to the point where she is just buying me junk for the sake of trying to keep a relationship with me and then holding that fact over my head (I have told her to stop, she hasn’t).

I want to buy a few posters for my favourite show for my bedroom at my dads house (my parents are divorced). I currently do not have a credit/debit card as I lost it a few months ago, however I am going to go get a new one on the 18th of this month, but I would preferably like to place the order before school starts again (for reference, all these options are online orders).

I have a few options on how to acquire the posters, and I’m not sure how to go about it.

Ask my mum to buy them for me.

She will buy me things I don’t want related to this show for the next 10 years, even after I inevitably lose interest in it. She’ll also be extremely upset that I’m putting them up at my dad’s house, and not hers. However I don’t care about her opinion on my interests as much.

Ask my dad to buy them for me.

I do not want to do this one, purely because of the completely irrational fear I have that he’ll think the show is weird, or violent (again, completely irrational. He is the biggest nerd you’ll meet, he’s probably even watched the show before and enjoyed it. It’ll just be awkward and I’m an overthinker). His opinion means a lot to me, and although he’s supportive of me in every sense, I think he still views me as a little kid (I’m 18), hence why I’m worried to tell him about my interests. I do want him to know about my interests in the long term though, and I want to be able to tell him things about me and not be scared about it, but I’m not sure if diving headfirst into this is the right way to go about it (for my own sake).

Wait until the 18th and buy them myself.

This one would be fine, but I’m a little worried that my dad will be confused when they show up for me. He would also have to find out about the posters/my interests in a surprise! Kind of way, which is a little awkward and it might hurt his feelings that he wasn’t asked. This will also be after school starts again, which I would prefer to get them before then. However I think this is the option that’ll give me the least anxiety in the short-term, but probably more as I wait for them to arrive.

I have consulted my sister and she is no help whatsoever.

Thank you for reading this behemoth of an ask, and thank you for any advice you might have (and I understand if this is not submitted to the public as it's not a yes/no question).

[blueish-bird]

a character that can’t directly touch others without hurting them can be something so personal

[luckykiwiii101]

HOW TO ENTER THE VOID STATE WITHOUT VOID CONCEPT!!! (Guaranteed) ❦❦❦❦❦❦❦

(Warning!!!Long post ahead)

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🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

I know some people will heavily disagree with me about this. But I really believe there is a way to enter the void without having to have a good void concept.

All you need is to believe in the void state. That’s it.

The technique:

- Get into a comfortable position.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- Clear your mind with a meditation or something. Maybe by breathing etc, whatever works for you. I really recommend DMT waves to calm your mind. Know that it is important to feel calm physically and mentally. Although it is not completely necessary if you are experienced.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- Once you feel relaxed and have a clear mind, start to affirm your affs for the void state. E.g. “I am pure consciousness” “I am void” “I am in the void state” (You don’t need to affirm, just do anything that distracts you from the 3D, like focusing on your breath, or focusing on the darkness behind your eyes. Anything is alright as long as it doesn’t lead to you falling asleep or paying attention to the 3D).🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- Acknowledge that you do not need to completely block out the 3D. What i mean by “block out” is that you may still be able to hear and feel the 3D. Just don’t focus your attention onto it. Your attention should be on your affirmations or whatever else you chose to focus on (doesn’t have to be affirmations). Also if you get an itch, ignore it, but if it’s too unbearable and it’s completely ruining your focus, there’s no harm in scratching it. You may ask “but why can i scratch it? I have to stay still or i won’t enter the void.” The thing is, this technique does not require you to turn off your left brain as you will normally start to feel symptoms within 2-5 minutes within doing so, and it takes 15-20 minutes to turn off your left brain. Of course you can turn off your left brain by relaxing whilst staying still for 15-20 minutes if that is what you resonate with better. Know that scratching an itch, or shuffling around does not stop you from entering the void. It does not “ruin your progress” either. That is impossible. The void is within you, you cannot run from yourself. YOU ARE THE VOID!🖤🖤🖤

- Know that you do not have to feel symptoms like floating. This is a big misconception. Ofcourse symptoms are very common, but not everyone experiences them. People feel like they can’t enter the void because the symptoms aren’t there to “tell them” that they are “doing it right”. As long as you are not focused on the 3D, you ARE doing it right. Stop stressing. You are supposed to feel relaxed. Stressing is the opposite of relaxation.🖤🖤🖤🖤

- This process will probably take you around 5 minutes. Ofcourse it depends on you as a person. Like how long it takes you to clear your mind. Or how long it takes you to feel comfortable. This should not take more than 1-10 minutes. Most likely will take 2-5 minutes. But don’t worry if it takes longer than that. Erase the stress and anxiety from your mind because you know for a fact that you are going to enter the void. I promise that this cannot fail you. It is literally impossible. It is not based on assumption. It doesn’t matter whether you believe it’s difficult to enter the void state. Just know that you are going to enter the void very quickly because there is no other outcome after doing this. There is no “failure”. 🖤🖤🖤🖤

- You will most likely start to feel floating symptoms etc. Spinning, falling (If you are someone who doesn’t usually feel symptoms, that is fine). When things get more intense the floating feeling might make you feel like you are “panicking”. But don’t worry, just focus and relax. 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

- THIS IS A VERY CRUCIAL PART!!! Do not focus on your symptoms. Of course you can feel them, but do not pay attention to them. Do not focus on them. There you go. You are in the void.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

See how easy it is. Try it for yourself and watch how failure doesn’t exist. I don’t care what your void concept is like. I don’t care whether you think you can’t do it. You have no choice when doing this method. This has been used for years and years. It is literally just detachment from the 3D. It is not difficult.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

BIG MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE:

Some people make some really silly mistakes and then complain about “not being able to enter the void.”🖤🖤🖤

MISTAKE NUMBER 1:

- Anticipating entering the void. Your goal should be to relax. Of course to eventually enter the void, but if you are anticipating by thinking “When am i going to enter the void?!” “When am i going to start feeling symptoms?” then you are just going to stress yourself out. Do not do this! When you are clearing your mind, set the intention of entering the void and just relax and know that you are going to enter.🖤🖤🖤

MISTAKE NUMBER 2:

- Thinking that movement is not allowed. You ARE allowed to move around and adjust your position. It doesn’t “slow you down” or “ruin your progress”. It doesn’t stop you from entering. So stop stressing. Moving around only matters when you are turning your left brain off, but this method does not require that. I’ve moved around plenty of times and i’ve seen many success stories of people who have moved around whilst literally having a terrible void concept on top of that.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

MISTAKE NUMBER 3:

- When people start to feel the symptoms, they drift their attention to the 3D and how their physical body feels. DO NOT DO THIS!! Just keep focusing on what you were focusing on before, then you will enter the void in a few seconds. Literally. I always used to do this and just yesterday i stopped letting the symptoms get the best of me and get distracted by them, i kept persisting in my affirmations whilst affirming to enter the void and i felt myself entering but since i didn’t want to enter (because i am a dumbass), i woke myself up. But it’s TOO easy. Okay. Ignoring symptoms are ridiculously easy.

WHAT TO DO IF I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO IGNORE SYMPTOMS?

There are many ways you can ignore symptoms:

For mild focus (when you don’t feel symptoms yet):

- Focus on breathing and breathing only.

- Focus on affirming and affirming only.

- Focus on the darkness behind eyes only

For when you start to feel symptoms but they aren’t that intense:

- Focus on breathing and affirming only.

- Focus on breathing and darkness only.

- Focus on affirming and darkness only.

For when symptoms start to get really intense and you can feel yourself entering the void:

- Focus on all three simultaneously.

If you still find it easy to focus on ONE thing when things get intense (which they might not) then that’s fine. You don’t have to focus on more than one thing. That’s just a solution for people who can’t. Also i just have examples of what to focus on. Ofc you can focus on random thoughts or anything detached from the 3D. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable.🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

See how easy it is. Go enter the void rn and have fun whether you just wanted peace or to manifest something!!!🖤🖤🖤

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🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Sincerely, - Gossip Girl 💋💋💋

[helslastangel]

Moon Conjunct Venus + Moon Trine Ascendant Synastry

Based on My Personal Experiences 🔞

This may not resonate for everyone, so if it doesn't hit, please let it miss. There are 18+ topics included this so minors, do not interact. 🔞

Their Moon conjunct your Venus

This aspect is wonderful if you're both feeling each other. They can and will read you like a book without even needing to turn the first page. If you've ever seen or been in one of those couples where the one person knew exactly what the other one wanted or needed, without ever discussing it, even once?

Yeah, those are the vibes here.

You will be loved exactly the way you want to be loved and if things don't work out, there is a good chance the breakup could leave you feeling destroyed for quite some time, even if you were never in a relationship.

This aspect can make it very difficult to be "just friends" if either person wants more from the connection.

But even platonic friends with this synastry aspect can be amazing. These are the kinds of friend that you give the spare keys to, can call at 4 in the morning whether for an emergency or just to sob about something stupid.

They are the ones you who can come over without calling first. In fact, you welcome it and aren't surprised to come home and find them asleep on your couch. Like this is the friend that you're more like family with if you're not in a romantic connection.

If you ever get in a mood and start talking about "everyone this" and "people always/never that," they aren't offended because it doesn't even cross their mind to think they're included in that pile.

There is no guarantee that things will always be perfect or work out with this placement, obviously it depends on factors in the whole chart and other things like time, place, circumstance, and so on.

Of course, anyone who can read you accurately has the ability to use that to manipulate and harm rather than help and support you, but that's a risk of life in general. All I'm saying is: with this aspect, when it's good, it's DAMN GOOD.

To give you an example, I had this synastry with a Scorpio moon several years ago (I'm a Scorpio Venus). We met at an event and hit it off so well that we were talking outside the venue for nearly 4 hours, annoying his friends and mine. Ended up bringing him home with me and I fully expected him to disappear into a cloud of dust the next day, but he didn't.

We didn't end up working out beyond friends with benefits, but he's NEVER been rude or unkind to me once. Extremely patient, always calm no matter what and very sweet to me whenever we run into each other somewhere in the city every couple of years.

The way he handled me emotionally was just beautiful, I can't think of another way to put it. Most of my friends at the time would ignore anything I did creatively - not him, he found one of my books and posted it on his story with a cute caption saying how much he loved intelligence and that he was proud of me. The type to show up in the rain and keep me company when I was sick (back when I lived alone), even though he had class, work and practice all that day. The first time we hooked up, I was getting my laundry together and wondering why he hadn't left yet. He picked up the bags talking about, "Nah I got 'em, lead the way to the laundromat, why would I leave you to do this by yourself."

TMI / TW (mentions of sexual activities, body fluids, menstruation/periods) so again, minors, get out of here and the rest of you proceed with caution or skip to the next paragraph.

He was very much empathetic and also body positive-absolutely nothing seemed to gross him out. I have so many examples, but let's go with something both extreme and spicy. I was bundled up, laying on his shoulder and trying to deal with menstrual cramps while we were watching a show and him going, "Oh you know I read somewhere that orgasms can ease those, may I?" I'm there like, may you what? sure?? I'm curious?? Next thing I know, he's got a towel down, yeets the tampon and dives in head first talking about "a period ain't stop nothing but a sentence." And, well? All I'll say is.. at least ONE man knows where the clit is! ibuprofen, who? where? 😂😈

Obviously that's a bit much if you're a vanilla type (but a Scorpio moon + Scorpio venus? baby we was freaks, what can I say? lmfao) but this is just an example I mention because the important part is not once did he bring up getting off himself. No hinting for a quickie or a BJ like you might expect. I even offered because I was used to guys doing seemingly selfless gestures only to be guilt-tripped shortly after, and he was just like, "Sorry, what? No, you're not feeling well, I wanted you to feel better, plus I don't need to get off all the time, I read it's healthy to ignore the urges sometimes." (Idk if you could tell, but he REALLY likes to read, loll).

That's what I'm talking about with the Moon-Venus conjunction. This kind of synastry will vary in the specific ways it's expressed of course, but all other things being equal, someone with their moon conjunct your venus will intuitively know what you want and need to feel loved, and it works because it blends very well with their own emotional needs. If the moon person tells you they enjoy doing something for you or with you without expecting anything in return, believe it. It sounds like a lie because of the types of people who would lie about that, but with this aspect, chances are they meant that shit.

Not only that, but you'll feel like you've known them for a long time. That's because you'll also understand their emotional expression on an intuitive level. This isn't as one-way as it could sound. Oh, no, not at all. You will feel like you've met before and find yourself making time and space, and finding energy for them even out of thin air. You could live in a tiny studio that you'd never share with anyone and then find yourself cleaning out your closet on a Sunday afternoon to "make a little space" for their extra work uniform or even as tiny as keeping an extra toothbrush, clearing a hook in the bathroom, keeping their favorite snacks in the fridge, stuff like that. You'll generally feel at home with each other and trust can build VERY quickly. Others could even wonder if you're okay, especially if you're normally a paranoid person.

With Scorpio moon guy, he accidentally left his wallet the first time he left my place and I called him when I found it. His response was "Oh I left it at yours? Oh good, that's okay then, I'll come get it at some point this week, let me know what days you'll be home". He knew me for less than 24 hours at the time, lol. 3 months later he had the door code to my place and there were two toothbrushes and two towels instead of one LOL, trust was never an issue and it certainly wasn't the reason we didn't work out either! We basically just couldn't really keep pace with each other because... we had a 6 year age gap. Completely different life stages. I have a feeling if we both were a lot older, it would have worked out. Literally nothing else was wrong with us.

Now, that was with me being the Venus (and Ascendant-see below) person. I'll be honest, as a Capricorn moon, I'm curious about how it would be if I meet a Capricorn venus romantically. I wonder how that would play out all the time, and I think I'll let that remain a mystery until it happens, then I'll hopefully still be blogging then and come back and tell yall about that too. THAT BEING SAID... I do have this aspect (as the moon person this time) with a platonic Capricorn venus friend I had for nearly 13 years. We would literally be in each other's houses (and hair and business lol) all the time. We had yearly festivals we always went to together, talked almost everyday, knew how each other was feeling before the other one would even say anything. Mopped each other up off the floor when going through shit. She punched a guy I was dating who cheated on me, and I introduced her to a mutual friend who I thought she might like to date, and then cussed the hell out of him when he didn't pull his weight like I thought he would. Things like that.

The friendship ended nearly 7 years ago but I miss her every day. I remember what happened, but in hindsight, it seems so foolish now and I miss her every single day. We would have been friends for 20 years by now and I don't have a lot of regrets in life, but that is one of them. She hurt me but I handled it so poorly both before and after she reached out to talk that it just destroyed the entire foundation of our friendship. I haven't even tried to get over it because I don't want to. To me, that would be just disrespectful, I feel like it's something I need to carry with me as a reminder to do better next time. I'm sure you see by now that this is a quite an intense and dynamic placement!

Bonus Observation:

Moon Trine Ascendant Synastry

If someone with their moon conjunct your venus ALSO has their moon trine your ascendant, WHEW that is hot. Not only will the emotional connection be strong, but they will find everything about you on the outside just as enticing as the inside.

They genuinely enjoy the way you express yourself and can have a lot of patience for any shenanigans you might get up to. These people will watch you from across a crowded room all evening and suddenly appear by your side just before you leave to tell you they think you're attractive and want to get to know the rest of you beneath the surface. And it's rarely ever creepy. They'll know just how to approach you. I've had this synastry aspect a few times and it's always been like that. Genuinely charming. Perfect rizz.

This kind of synastry, as I said earlier, will leave you in absolute shambles if things don't work out, especially if you don't encounter this synastry often in your connections. Personally, I'd consider this one of those aspects where one or both of you can feel like the other was a soulmate, or "the one that got away," and end up being celibate or single (if romantic), or becoming asocial (if platonic) for a long time after splitting up. That or cycling through a series of awful relationship and friendship rebounds in an attempt to find them in another person.

Not too much on me for this, but there's a country song by Colt Fold that I'd loved for half a decade now called 4 Lane Gone. I'm sure there are other songs out there that would capture this better, but this is the one that stuck with me.

Something about the way this artist captures the feeling. Wistful, you can tell dude is acting strong, but knows damn well a good thing just got royally fucked up. Maybe I'm just melodramatic (I'm water dominant after all), but have a listen and see if you get what I'm talking about.

Idk. From my experiences with these aspects (been lucky enough to experience it with more than one person), I'd say it gives a pretty good idea of how either side could feel when it ends. Probably more so the Moon person, though, as they're likely to react like this to either a) being the one to end the relationship prematurely and regret it, or b) being blindsided by the Venus/Ascendant person up and leaving, and taking so long to process and recover from the shock, that by the time they chase after them...they're...well...four lanes gone. Lol.

Lyrics

[Verse 1]

Been raining for three days

On the fast track to the highway

Trying to save a little time

Lord I never should have tried

Taking this back road shortcut

Now I’m way stuck, so sunk

I’ll never catch her now

So I just put the tailgate down

She’s probably somewhere doing 95

I got nothing but this cooler and time

[Chorus]

I cracked one waiting on a ride

Two or three just to pass the time

While she’s headed to a new town

And I’m too lost to be found

She probably thinks that I don’t care

Stuck in the rut in the middle of nowhere

And just my luck I’ll be here all night long

Man, I’m bummed out back road buzzed

And she’s four lane gone

Yeah she’s four lane gone

[Verse 2]

Every empty beer can makes me

Miss her like hell, man I can kick myself

For the place and the shape I’m in holding me back

Yeah my wheels keep on spinning

And she’s ticked off blacktop fast

[Chorus] x 1

[Bridge]

While I’m stuck here all alone

With a midnight natty light

One more chance I’ve blown

[Chorus] x 1

[Outro]

I’m out here all alone

Yeah she’s four lane gone

She’s four lane, four lane gone

Yeah she’s four lane gone

She’s four lane gone

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

still fucked up? here's a pick a pile reading.

pile 1. pile 2. pile 3.

a pick a pile reading inspired on sundays being the longest and most tedious day of the week. i never know what to do on a sunday other than overthinking and feeling sort of gloomy.

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.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · Pile 1 · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Honestly, I really dig this combination of cards. I feel like this Page of Wands is asking you to take a different approach when thinking of success. It's clear that you value material and spiritual achievements equally, but you see them as something that's too far away from your reality. I think that it is very important to recognize that you are guarded by energies that match your ambitions, and you are doing things right to become the person you wish to be. 

Other than that, it is also relevant to think of the dissonances and miscommunications that can cause you trouble when trying to face any obstacles in your journey. The Emperor and The High Priestess are both equally strong in their own ways. Both of these energies are present in your life, and they happen to be complete polar opposites, the peak of male energy and the peak of female energy. Balancing both with every step you take is difficult, therefore it's understandable if you choose to focus on one or another depending on the moment. Ideally, these two should be able to communicate with one another, so you don't betray the nature of one taking actions more suitable to the other. 

In order to do this, I'd say that it's a great moment to look at the world with child-like eyes; allow yourself to be amused and ruled by curiosity, enrich your life with first time experiences and find joy in spaces where your creativity is nurtured. Don't assume that your learning years are over. 

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · Pile 2 · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Okay, this is a tough one. Stay strong bestie. So… Clearly that Ten of Swords is about something in your head that has caused major negative impacts on your life. I wouldn't say it's mostly about emotional distress by itself, but instead I think it's more about the prevalence of dysfunctional thought processing patterns that are being ignored or mishandled in the social and emotional parts of your life. It seems that a deep understanding of your own sensitivity hasn't been enough to cope with this. 

But, it's not all bad, as the presence of both Kings, Wands and Cups, show me that the maturity and strength is there, what's lacking tho, is a more solid sense of trust on the logic presented by sources outside your own head. Feeling trapped and buried by your own thoughts, it's common enough that you can share them with trusted ones surrounding you in order to appease feelings of doubt and desperation. 

This combination of cards shows me that you have the capacity to move from this thought provoked stagnation, to move from a mental eco chamber of negativity. To accomplish this you should aim to build more solid relations based on nurturing each other's potential and emotional strength. Don't be doubtful when taking the first steps towards what you already know you can do for bettering yourself and others. Stop being confident in negative thoughts and begin being confident in positive ones, even if you need help beginning to do so. 

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · Pile 3 · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Well, one is not bad but it’s not that good either. I think the main topic of this spread is to remain cautious when material success is achieved, in order to not cause yourself emotional and spiritual harm. Sometimes our material achievements can be directly related to spiritual growth, yet, we can not deny that the energy we spend on creating success for ourselves is just as valuable as the energy we spend on our spiritual journeys. In this case, the Seven of Pentacles shows me that your sense of purpose, in resonance with patience and determination, will bring great satisfaction as long as you take time to reflect and rest from the hard work. 

Nonetheless, be careful with who you choose to be generous with. There’s nothing wrong with providing a helping hand, but make sure that those who receive it understand the value of your hard work and are not there to deceit you by playing victims. Keep an eye on anything that is causing you doubts on your enterprises, and do not fool yourself with ideas and proposals that come from unrealistic perspectives. This is a great moment to reflect on the ways your energy is being received by others. The main priority should be your well being and your stability first. You can’t give to others if you can’t provide for yourself.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ – • · FIN · • – ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

hey there, im gigi i did this tarot thing, hii. hope this was at least fun to read i guess? im just chilling with the cards and writing. thinking about making a introduction post but then idk... like i love this blog and i love tumblr so im like ayyy i get to practice my english and get back into tarot? slay. like i swear

im kinda rusty with tarot's rn but hopefully eventually I'll get back on it like i used to so i guess that if someone wants to follow me in case i open my questions inbox to answer questions with the cards and stuff that could be nice.

ugh and im also putting together a nicer space for the readings, my desk is full of paint stains (my normal job is art related lol) and there's always a university thing peaking from the side of my desk, it's like my notes are watching me while i kinda ignore them...

anyways i got like 40 notes on my first post, soooo thaaaanks omg i was so like nervous about it i hate that im this kinda shy to post tarot content anynomously like wtf how can i be like that when im posting nasty thirst traps on my personal instagram with no context?? the duality of women i guess. okay this is too much venting

bye thanks for reading, stay bad, stay focused, might post a card of the week PAC reading later seee yaaaa love yaaa

｡ ﾟ ꒰ঌ ✦MASTERPOST & PAID SERVICES ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

[capymosey]

on meljayvik & that bomb tinkering scene

i made a lil comment on this but i wanted to expand on it here since there’s no hard character limit

so, yeah, there’s a lot of what i would consider bs discourse on mel ignoring viktor etc and jayce and manipulation etc whatever blahblahblah i hate that shite because it really isn’t satisfying since it feels like people making claims on very little objective data

mel knows jayce couldnt take the bomb apart and she brings up this hot topic when viktor is in the middle of doing delicate, dangerous work. sure, he stops during it but she isn’t worried at all. she trusts him, jayce trusts him - they know he’s competent and brilliant and works well under pressure (“the resonance will stabilize it. trust me.”) so they are all ok to have this difficult convo during a very dangerous task

i did see some people stating viktor was also considering letting jayce and him die, whick is uhhhh something all right. viktor isn’t a fighter. he’s a scientist. he’s gentle, kind, quirky, but also a risk-taker. he isn’t someone who would hurt others, though. so as fun as that train of thought could be, i don’t buy it since it isn’t in line with who viktor is. i cant believe the same people who advocate for “there is always a choice”!viktor, and other such things about his character would even consider this line of thinking but whatever. it’s fandom 🤷‍♂️

i do think there is some great misunderstanding to characters because of ships and limited screen time to anyone who isn’t violet or jinx but i see the trio as a group who understand each other and work well together. yes, mel didnt realize how close jayce and viktor were before viktor got hospitalized, but she knows his mind and contributions. mel isnt an idiot. she knows shite. she researches and strategizes and she also knows viktor and jayce. just look back at any convo you might have with friends or family in groups of more than 2 people and this is like one glimpse into how the trio might talk to each other at any given time over any topic. not everyone always agrees with each other and sometimes you can tell when you can influence, for example, your dad over your mom regarding getting a pony. viktor’s name isnt on hextech public records so mel knows viktor has given up having a majority say on it (maybe because viktor is all about being behind the scenes, esp as his health continues to spiral, and jayce could also be at fault for not treating viktor like the partner he claims viktor is). sure, there’s some societal issues going on, too, but at this point - whether mel is still influenced by this piltover attitude or not - she cares about jayce enough at this point to value what he values, and one of those big things is viktor (which she undoubtedly knows coz he keeps going to her about him 😅). and when viktor strongly objects she looks at him like someone who wishes she didn’t have to suggest what she’s suggesting since her feelings about her mom/upbringing could be a factor she’s considering.

another big holy shit moment in this scene is mel bringing up heimer and showing he doesn’t always have the sway with jayce that she now does. heimer may have been neglectful of zaun, but now mel seems against zaun, too, and jayce is appearing to be agree with it (and he does, until the prep for the finale battle in s2)

like this scene is also more of a tie with the a bridge scene in showing jayce and viktor not sticking together. viktor is seeing jayce consider him less and less and seeing people from zaun as subhuman. jayce “understanding” grows less and less in his mind and viktor becomes more isolated. how can he trust jayce when jayce may not trust him (“they’re dangerous!” and “i need to think [about this on my own, without further convo with you, viktor, who i claim is my partner]” “defend your people”) and who can he depend on to help zaun if he’s dead and jayce is using hextech to take lives? he’s gotta take the risks. but sky’s death and the hexcore sentiently taking away the use of his leg show him the error of the path he starts and he just accepts death (not that he wants to die) as something that will happen irregardless of what happens after he’s gone. (too bad he just dies and we never see viktor in s2 until his theme comes up at the end when jayce gives him the cosmic hug)

also mel gives viktor another look before telling jayce the choice is his. i think she wishes he was on board coz then they might have come up with another solution but the show is written in a way where hextech is always the answer (i.e., weapons, etc) and not like…personal and political manouvering 😅

plus the trio smile at each other when an alternate option is approved by the council before jinx blows it all up. there’s some kind of dynamic going on here

anyway

my brain doesnt work this hard this long

i think fortiche should unleash their meljayvik vault of fics and help fandom out since they often partake and enjoy fanworks to help meljayvik out 🤣

p.s. can we instead focus on how hardcore viktor is in the end? not even a sigh of relief or anything showing stress. man is a well-oiled machine when it comes to how confident he in his choices. he already figured out the bomb and made a choice after getting distracted/frustrated with jayce

[pascaloverx]

BORN TO DIE

Summary: In a tense political setting, a Targaryen bastard working as a prostitute is summoned by Prince Aemond to the Red Keep. Aemond wants her to approach his dragon, Vhagar, as a test of her worth. Although he plans for her to claim another dragon in the future, her immediate challenge is to survive Prince Aemond demands while trying to stay alive.

Author’s Note: This work is set in the world created by George R.R. Martin, as depicted in his book Fire & Blood, and none of the characters belong to me. The story will follow some events from the series House of the Dragon (2022), but with changes to fit the fanfiction narrative. Therefore, it will not adhere strictly to the series' storyline. This fanfiction is a work of fiction and may contain inappropriate language, adult content, and violence. Readers be warned. I hope you enjoy the story and interact with it. I apologize if there are any errors in the High Valyrian sections; I used a translator and am unsure of its accuracy. Thank you and happy reading.

ONE THREE (+18)

TWO

Your wrists ache as you struggle to undo the knot Prince Aemond used to bind you to him. The damned knot is expertly tied, making it a challenge to free yourself without drawing his attention. The prince remains intensely focused on the path ahead. If only you could reach the likely Valyrian dagger at his waist, you might be able to use it to cut yourself free.

“If that naive little mind of yours is considering anything more creative than the foolishness you've been trying the entire way to free yourself from the rope binding your wrists, having your hands tied to me will be the least of your worries." The Prince’s voice, resonating close to your ear as he leans down slightly toward you, sends a shiver through your body.

"Tying me up won’t gain you any advantage. Do you plan to keep me bound to you when you’re forcing me to mount a dragon and fight by your side, all to secure your brother’s claim to the throne?" Your frustration over the pain in your wrists spills out before you can restrain yourself, the words slipping from your lips as if you weren’t speaking to a prince who could dispose of you as easily as he mounts a dragon.

"Understand this, gundjabo, you clearly have no idea what my plans are. The fact remains, I do not trust you. And I suggest that when you address me, you do so properly. I am the Prince of the Seven Kingdoms, not your client." Prince Aemond's tone is formal, yet there's a clear undercurrent of irritation. He continues guiding the horse while your hands grasp tightly onto the rope, as holding onto his waist is not a viable option.

"I apologize for my impertinence, Ñuha Dārilaros. I will cease to trouble Your Highness with my ignorance," you reply, your tone dripping with cynicism. Prince Aemond lets out a low hum, as if murmuring "hm…" in response to your insincere apology. However, he appears to ignore your sarcasm, redirecting his attention to the path ahead. As you travel along the rarely used path, the journey is proving difficult. Your discomfort grows as the hours pass, and you’re painfully aware that your strength is waning. The thought of wrapping your arms around Prince Aemond for support crosses your mind, but you hesitate, knowing that he might push you off the horse or, worse, take pleasure in dragging you along the ground. The tension between you and Aemond remains palpable, adding to the strain of the journey.

"A servant who does not make her company pleasant must definitely be a useless servant. I wondered why I had never seen you in the brothel before, but now I have my answer." Prince Aemond says after a while, as if wanting to provoke you. You sigh, looking at the landscape, thinking about how to respond to his provocation.

"In reality, Ñuha DāRilaros, a good servant ensures that the finest clients desire her exclusively. If you never crossed paths with me at the brothel, it's because until I was taken by your guards, I was quite useful to someone." Your tone carries a hint of mystery, suggesting that someone more important than Prince Aemond Targaryen once valued your service.

"Vaogenka ābra. I could tear out your tongue for what you just said. But since you seem to enjoy deluding yourself with lies, do tell me—who could possibly stand above Prince Aemond Targaryen?" Despite the clear irritation in his voice, you can’t resist the urge to smile. Normally, you'd tread carefully to avoid bruising the ego of a one-eyed, arrogant prince, but considering he likely wouldn't kill you before feeding you to some random dragon, you allow yourself a small victory. Prince Aemond turns slowly, fixing his one-eyed gaze on you. You hesitate to speak further, realizing you may have gone too far. Instead, you direct your attention to the horizon, where you spot three men dressed in ragged clothes, their smiles malevolent.

"Unbind me, Your Grace," you say as the men draw closer. It's clear they intend to exploit the situation, and if Prince Aemond reacts poorly, it could mean the end for both of you.

"Pāsagon nyke, gundjabo."Prince Aemond murmurs forcefully as he dismounts from the horse. His confidence is unsettling, filling you with concern. If these men realize that Prince Aemond is heading towards Dragonstone while a war looms, it could spell disaster. You cannot let that happen.

"Who are you?" the men speak almost in unison, two of them eyeing you with a disturbing eagerness, likely lusting for a quick conquest. The third man, however, has his gaze locked on Aemond, suspicion growing in his eyes as he begins to piece together who stands before him. The rope binding your wrists bites painfully into your skin, worsening as it is pulled tighter while Aemond remains beside the horse. The tension in the air thickens, and you realize that it won't be long before they recognize his Highness.

"This good man is taking me to Queen Rhaenyra," you quickly interject, cutting off any chance for Prince Aemond to speak. "She’s been seeking bastards to try and claim dragons." You can tell that Aemond is deliberately keeping his hood low, trying to avoid recognition. You keep your hands as still as possible, careful not to reveal the rope that binds you to him. The tension between you and the prince is palpable, but you know that you need to maintain the ruse for both your sakes.

"Do you let a whore speak for you? Not man enough to explain yourself?" the most observant of the men sneers as he steps closer to Prince Aemond, his tone laced with contempt. The other two men begin to circle you and the horse, their intentions clear in their predatory gazes. You feel the tension in the air thickening, the situation teetering on a dangerous edge.

"I'll show you what kind of man I am," Prince Aemond declares, his voice cold and commanding. With a swift motion, he removes his hood, revealing his striking features and the unmistakable silver hair which falls perfectly into place despite the hood. The sight alone causes the men to falter, recognizing the power and danger they now face. Aemond then draws a beautiful, ornately crafted dagger from the sleeve of his cloak, its blade gleaming menacingly in the dim light. Aemond attacks the man in front of him, plunging the dagger into the man's eye. Prince Aemond pulls his dagger from the man's eye. The man screams in pain, as blood from his eye gushes onto the ground. Then the man falls in front of Aemond who wastes no time, leans over the man and he thrusts the dagger back into the man on the ground, stabbing him in the brain. Prince Aemond is swiftly kicked by one of the men standing near you. It happens so quickly that you only realize it when the rope pulls you down. The third man tries to grab you from the ground, but you swing your bound hands toward his face. A light laugh escapes you as you see blood starting to drip from his face.

You try to get up, but the rope holds you back, fueling your hatred for the One-Eyed Prince who tied you to him. The man, enraged, storms toward you, shouting slurs and threats like "Whore" and "You'll pay for this." Desperately, you crawl as quickly as you can toward Aemond, who appears to be gaining the upper hand against the second man, though the horse obstructs your view.

"Open your eyes, gundjabo. You do not have my permission to die. Ao issi ñuhon, and everything that belongs to me must not be touched by others," Prince Aemond murmurs as he approaches you. The body of the third man lies on the ground, Aemond's dagger embedded in his face. You remain stunned, standing near the horse, as Aemond's single eye fixes on you. It's as if you lack the strength to respond.

"He… he…" you murmur with a trembling voice, weak and looking down. Your hands ache, and your gaze is lowered. Then you feel Aemond’s cold hands touch your face, lifting it up to meet his gaze. His eyes lock onto yours as if he’s trying to analyze your soul, and you look back at him, perhaps in your most vulnerable state.

"He met the end he deserved for attempting to harm what belongs to me. I consider myself merciful in this regard. You are permitted to die only by my hand or by dragonfire. Remember that." Prince Aemond says, wiping a bit of the blood from the man’s face away from yours. The proximity between you is such that you can feel his warm breath against your face. He smells of blood and wine. There is something so primal in his gaze that makes you almost want to taste his lips. Yet, all you do is nod in understanding of what the one-eyed prince has just conveyed.

"I understand, Your Highness. I will only die by your hand or by dragonfire," you say, meeting Aemond's gaze. He gives a half-smile, then crouches to retrieve the bloodied dagger from the body of the third man. Rising, he firmly holds your hands and cuts the rope, freeing you.

[kimvante2013]

『𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬』 변우석

summary: The feelings between you and your best friend are far from over.

Genre: best friends to lovers,little bit of angst,Byeon Woo Seok x fem!reader,drabble

author notes: After months I came back, today I bring you a drabble about the love of my life, also because I saw "Lovely runner" and I liked it a lot so I got a little inspiration from there, well I hope you enjoy this and later I will bring more about Sun Jae and Woo seok since I don't see many people writing about them, take care and good night :)

Word count: 1089k

The soft ping of my phone broke the quiet hum of my apartment. A message from Woo-seok.

“Hey y/n, do you want to come to my house later? I need to write some lines for my new drama, “Lovely Runner”. You know, the usual, being my personal script coach and all that stuff.”

I smiled, imagining Woo-seok's signature goofy smile. It was almost endearing how he never seemed to take his acting career seriously, even though he was on the verge of becoming a major star. He was still the same goofy, clumsy boy he'd known in high school, the one who always made me laugh.

“Sure, I'll be there in an hour. "What time are you free?" I replied and let the tea sit while he prepared it for me.

An hour later, I found myself outside Woo-seok's elegant apartment building, the imposing structure a stark contrast to the cozy, modest apartment we used to share as roommates in college.

He greeted me with a wide, welcoming smile and a playful push, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the hallway. "You're late," he teased, pushing me inside.

"Traffic," I lied, my cheeks heating up under his gaze. Despite knowing him for years, my heart still pounded when he looked at me like that. He always had this way of making me feel seen, like I was the only person in the room.

His apartment was a testament to his success, modern and elegant, with a wide view of the city skyline. But I still felt at home, filled with the familiar warmth of his presence.

"Let's go to my room," he said, leading me to a well-lit space filled with scripts, props, and a comfortable chair.

"Okay, so this scene is where I first meet my love interest, played by the beautiful, talented, and incredibly charming Ryu Sun-jae," Woo-seok began, his voice dropping to a playful whisper.

I couldn't help but laugh. He was very dramatic, even when he talked about his own work. But his enthusiasm was infectious and I found myself immersed in the story. He ran through the lines, his voice shifting seamlessly between playful banter and sincere emotion.

He was good, really good. He poured his heart and soul into every word, into every gesture, making me forget that he was just watching a friend rehearse.

And this is where I'm supposed to make a grand entrance, you know, like a knight in shining armor. "But I think he's too exaggerated," he muttered, pulling a crumpled script from the table.

"No, I think he's perfect," I said, surprised by my own conviction. "He is your character, it is what makes him unique."

Woo-seok looked at me with a flash of surprise in his eyes. 'Actually? So you think?

"Yes," I nodded, trying to ignore the way his gaze lingered on me. There was an unspoken connection between us, a bond forged over years of shared laughter, dreams, and late-night chats.

'What do you think he should do here?' He asked, pointing to a particularly difficult line.

'Hmm, maybe try it with a little more vulnerability?' I suggested, my voice softening as I realized how closely I was studying his face.

He nodded, frowning in concentration. He walked the line again, this time with a raw emotion that resonated deeply within me.

"Wow," I sighed, genuinely impressed. 'That's perfect. You captured the uncertainty, the fear, the longing for acceptance. It is brilliant.'

Woo-seok's smile was brighter than the city lights outside. 'You're the best, Y/n. You always know how to make me feel better about my work.

We continued rehearsing until the sun began to set, casting long shadows across the room. As we worked, it felt like we were falling back into the comfortable rhythm of our old college days, time blurring into a cozy, shared memory.

"I think I'm a little hungry," Woo-seok said, breaking the silence. 'How about we order some food?'

"Sounds good to me," I agreed, feeling a warmth spread through me.

While we waited for our food, we sat on the floor and flipped through old photo albums. Laughter filled the room as we recalled silly moments from our past, each image a window into our shared history.

The delivery boy arrived, bringing with him the aroma of spicy noodles and sizzling dumplings. We ate in comfortable silence, enjoying the food and the company.

Later, while we were cleaning, Woo-seok turned to me and his eyes met mine. 'You know, Y/n, I'm so lucky to have you in my life. You have always been there for me, through thick and thin.

I smiled, my heart swelled with warmth. 'Me too, Woo-seok. You are my best friend and I will always be there for you.

He reached out and took my hand, his touch sending a shiver down my spine. "I know," he said, his voice low and sincere. "And I'm grateful for that."

For a moment, we stood there, hands clasped and the silence filled with unexpressed emotions. The city outside glowed like a distant dream, but all he could see was Woo-seok, his eyes containing a depth that he knew he couldn't ignore forever.

“I should probably head home,” I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded and his gaze stopped on my face. "Yeah, I guess you should."

I pulled away, my heart aching with a mix of longing and apprehension.

"I'll see you around, Woo-seok," I said, forcing a smile.

"Yes, definitely," he replied, his voice laced with a hint of disappointment.

When I left his apartment, I couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed between us. The line between friendship and something more had blurred, and I wasn't sure I was ready to cross it.

I had always valued our friendship and the thought of risking it for something uncertain made me sick to my stomach. But the warmth of his touch, the intensity of his gaze, and the way he made me feel so seen had awakened a longing inside me that I couldn't ignore.

The lights of the city blur as I walked, my mind replaying the events of the night. I knew I needed time to process everything, to discover my feelings. But one thing was certain: the bond between Woo-seok and I was deeper than simple friendship, and I knew, with a certainty that made my heart ache, that our story was far from over.

[scificrows]

i like to make fun of murderbot for being all "i hate everyone, i don't care about anything or anyone, fuck off" while simultaneously caring very much about the people around it and the situations it finds itself in. i love how it "accidentally" ends up caring quite a lot about the friends it makes along the way. but i think something that i tend to forget is that murderbot actively decides to care - at least at some point in its story.

idk, as a person that struggles with depression, this paragraph from artificial condition really resonates with me. prior to all systems red, murderbot had contracts. it had routine and it had protocols. it knew what it had to do to just get by, how to perform so no one would notice it had disabled its governor module. it was deeply depressed, yes, but it was functioning (for lack of a better word). in artificial condition, murderbot's routine is gone. it cannot go on in that state of numbly going-from-contract-to-contract, putting in as little effort as possible, consuming media to cope. that option is gone because it escaped (and note that escaping the company was not an active choice, it kinda happened to it). murderbot has two options now: it can either gather all its energy; actively do something new and difficult and distressing; change something in its life and try. or it can let the numbness and the emptiness take over and stop trying. if murderbot wants to survive as a rogue secunit, it has to try. no matter how difficult that is. the wording in that paragraph really hits home for me. the way the non-caring sees an opportunity to slip in and to take over. does murderbot even care? does anything really matter? is anything really worth the hassle? wouldn't it be so much easier to just let your mind slip away a little, to go numb, to be passive, to watch media and wait for things to happen to you? wouldn't it be nice to stop thinking and struggling and feeling complicated things? to stop making an effort? you've been dealing with a lot lately and maybe it's time to just shut down. maybe you'll just take a little break. just slip deeper into this chair and start the show. time flies when you're not paying attention. trying is exhausting. who cares if you don't do the things you wanted to do, you were supposed to do. it'll be fine. let's just ignore those things for now. just let the non-caring take over. just stop thinking. you can deal with the aftermath later. just watch your shows. who cares. but murderbot cares. it decides to care. it decides to fight with all it has and i think that is so brave. and i think in the later books caring is less of an active decision for murderbot. once you start caring, it's easier to keep going than to stop; and murderbot, for all its "i'm a grumpy rogue secunit, leave me alone" behavior, knows just how important caring is. so it's not that it doesn't know what's happening; rather, it lets itself care. tl;dr: caring is not the default for murderbot, it's just the more difficult of two options. and it decides not to take the soft option. it decides to struggle. it decides to care. and so it does.

[simplymarr]

Chapter three.

warnings: none. just some angst at the end.

Since that very first day, everything just flowed naturally.

I saw Vincent two days a week for weekly classes; tuesdays and thursdays. Two-hour classes in which it felt like a convesation between the two of us. He seemed excited about my enthusiasm and i was astonished about his intelligence. The way he carried himself, the ideas and visions he had just resonated with me.

Then after class and almost religiously, he waited for me inside his car with a cigarette on his mouth and drove me to the bus stop. We never spoke explicitly about this agreement, nor we questioned it. It just felt natural, like gasping for air or falling in love.

We both knew these rides were just an excuse to keep talking about everything we couldn't inside the classroom. Not only about my thesis and his corrections, but book recommendations, law philosophy, even music and art.

And we laughed. We laughed a lot.

"So, is it really as difficult as it seems?" I asked, gasping for air between laughs and taking more of a serene tone.

He turned his head and looked at me. Both hands on the steering wheel.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, being a lawyer. How do you know you're doing the right thing? That you're not fucking it all up?"

The question lingered in the air for a moment. Perhaps it wasn't just about being a lawyer.

He took a breath before answering.

"Well, that's the thing, non? you never know." He said. His gaze meeting the pavement in front of him as he drove. "Like all aspects of life, sometimes you need to guess". This last line pronounced as he looked at me softly, like someone who's hiding a secret.

Silence between the both of us until he broke it again.

"Well, of course it gets easier once your fucking thesis is done" He joked to lighten up the mood and we laughed once again.

The bus stop made it's presence again, and each time we arrived i still felt like it wasn't supposed to be there that quickly.

I looked at him with a strange nostalgia; like something else was supposed to happen, like i wanted him to give me an answer to a question i hadn't yet made.

I smiled at him weakly and he reciprocated, but his smile was filled with kindness, with mercy. His blue eyes pierced into mine for what i thought it was an eternity, but it didn't felt awkward at all. It seemed like he, also, didn't want me to leave the car.

Suddenly a loud horn from the street broke the tension and he quickly lowered his gaze. I stepped out of the car and waved at him as he looked at me through the window.

"Goodbye, y/n".

"Au revoir, Vincent".

-------------------

From there, that one final interaction, the river that made our chemistry started to get motionless. My innocent question became something darker, premonitory.

As the next week arrived and found me, once again, in the classroom i noticed something strange in Vincent. Although i was standing quite far away from him it was the first time he didn't look at me, not even once. Maybe an occasional glance that he amended by looking away almost instantly, like he was just trying to make sure i was still there.

His hands moved with more fervor than usual, his tone quite hessitant. He asked a question and, as usually, i raised my hand, trying to ignore the now awkward tension between us. He looked at me quickly but then pointed at someone else to answer.

Strange, i thought to myself. I mean, it was okay. After all there was a room full of people, i wasn't the only one, wasn't i? Besides, we could discuss everything we wanted later in the car. I didn't have to worry about anything.

The class ended a couple of minutes earlier. I waited until everyone left so i could reach to him. I wanted to ask him a couple of questions about the remarks he emailed me last week, and maybe we could talk. To be honest, perhaps i just wanted to talk to him about anything.

"Vincent, hi. I hope you don't mind me asking about the remarks but-"

He stopped me mid sentence.

"We can discuss about it on Thursday, during class schedule". He said, with a firm voice, almost trying to sound convincing.

"Oh, i'm sorry, i thought there was no problem".

"If you're concerned about something you can email it to me and i will answer you whenever i can". He barely looked at me and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear as he turned away to reach his books.

I hessitated and left in silence. My face pale and a total confusion on my mind.

We still had the car. Right?

The world, as it was used to, once again proved me wrong. When i stepped out of the big, cold building no one was there. Well, at least no one waiting for me. I looked at the empty parking lot where the dark-green chevy was missing, and even if he never agreed explicitly to wait for me, i found myself feeling betrayed.

"Oh, for fucks sake, he's just your professor. Nothing else." I thought to myself, trying to make sense.

The walk home, for the first time in weeks, felt incredibly lonely. I looked at the bus stop from far away and i felt like it was laughing at me.

Head resting in the dirty window and my earphones on, i wondered:

"Was it something i said?"

"Did i just fucked it all up?"

next chapter soon

[thefoxtherapist]

Hello! I hope you are doing well <3

This is a different experience for me as I don’t really request much.. let me know if this is disrespectful or not! but I was hoping to request Jiyan x male/gn reader (i have no preference) angst?

Jiyan has so much angst potential, especially in his story/companion quest! My idea was centered around the reader death (long before this plot) with Jiyan who is still coping about their death. During the retroact rain tacet discords are mimicking their s/o calling out to him like they are still alive. They poke and prod at his vulnerability, with Jiyan having this inner turmoil of how to overcome this.

Thank you for your time! Whether that be indulging in my thoughts or for just reading this request, I appreciate it <3 Take care!

Hi thank you! I'm okay ^^ I hope you are well.

This isn't disrespectful at all don't worry! You did great for a new requester :)

This was quite a sad concept poor Jiyan, giving him hugs.

I hope you still like this even though it doesn't 100% follow the request! Sorry about that, sometimes writing has its own mind without my input..

Jiyan’s grip tightened on his lance after Geshu Lin’s phantom disappeared from sight. No longer haunted by his previous General, he took a deep breath. He turned inwards to the building, he had things to prepare for the coming battle. He had an army to lead and a city to protect. He couldn’t hesitate now.

And yet that was exactly what he did.

Golden eyes moved to the left as he heard a familiar voice. His breath caught in his throat and his heart twisted in an uncomfortable manner. No. He couldn’t listen, he couldn’t falter. Jiyan looked forward, head held high. 

He walked forward, ignoring the voice he sorely missed. 

Every action he took, accompanied by that familiar voice, that missed pitch, the yearning frequency. It was all a trick. Jiyan knew that, he was aware, he wasn’t stupid. Geshu Lin had been difficult to deal with, but he stuck to his knowledge.

But it was different this time, and the General knew that.

You were dead.

Every breath he took was accompanied by the pained beating of his heart. His head swam. Grief. His mother was always so insistent on his grief. That it was something he needed to face, needed to conquer, cope with. But Jiyan always brushed it off. There was no time was his excuse. But he knew better. He knew better, he just cared too much.

He stepped away, finding a barren spot where he could be alone with his thoughts. Jiyan crossed his arms over his chest as he looked out from the small hill he stood on. Clawed fingers of his gauntlet dug into his opposing arm as your voice once more infiltrated his ears, his mind.

The old General wasn’t the only loss three years prior and it was a guilt that Jiyan struggled with. 

Jinzhou was a battlefield.

The Resonator looked up, watching as the rain fell upwards. His face still wet as the rain caressed his skin as it floated upwards above him. He uncrossed his arms, lifting his hand to follow the path of the rain. 

He’d been a medic back then, but your life was not one he could save.

The General’s hand closed in a tight fist, arm dropping back down to his side. Even with the antidote against the rain, he could still hear you calling out to him after all these years. But he was left with a lingering fear that if he turned around he’d be faced with the tacet discords that similarly used Geshu Lin against him.

Geshu Lin had obtained an infamous reputation for his choice to stand strong, blamed for the loss of their soldiers.

And you.

Jiyan’s eyebrows furrowed as he closed his eyes, unable to take the soft whimpers of his name, you hadn’t even cried for help, you simply told him to push on, to leave you behind. Was that how he knew the phantom behind him was nothing more than a mimic? Perhaps. Or your phantom was influenced by his own regret.

Huanglong did not know of the sacrifice you made to send him forward. 

“You’ll come back for me, Jiyan. You always do.”

He turned his head away, chewing the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood on his tongue. No positive outcomes that day could ever wash away the reality of it all. He’d lost a lover, he’d lost a friend. One forgotten, one cast as a villain. 

“Jiyan.. My love? Is it really that bad? Oh don’t look at me like that!”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’ll be okay, really!”

Jiyan opened his eyes.

All he had done was retreat.

[fallininlust]

( I ) DECEMBER SECOND

♱ — SUNSHINE ON MY LIFE [ PT. ONE ] !

pair. nick x m!reader genre. fluff w a bit of nostalgia

word count : [ 2k ]

description : snowflakes / fingerless gloves / flickering lampposts / crescent moon / tall snow / lingering children on the streets / snow angels / pink, sniffling noses / white clouds overhead / long walks / snow clinging to eyelashes / melancholic nostalgia / childish wonder / saddening memories / and frost bite

Your presence will be sun in winter.

Alfred Lord Tennyson, To The Rev F.D. Maurice !

Winter was always your favorite season.

It reminded you so deeply of your childhood, of the innocence you once carried when the white would fall and the cold would tint your nose a shade pinker with its bite of frost. The melancholic nostalgia that followed the snow was a resonating one, felt by everyone it touched.

And you were one of those people.

You were quick to stuff your gloved hands in your pockets after adjusting your camouflage beanie. You sniffled every now and then, kicking flakes of snow with the toe of your Timberland boots. Your AirPods were sitting comfortably in your ears, softly listening to Seasons by 6lack and Khalid, and letting your mind wander to all the memories you held with snow — with the cold. All the glimpses you got of your little self running around all bundled up for the freezing season, a time where you were constantly happy with little to no care in the world.

It was funny how things changed and time flew.

How years seem to fly by and, before you know it, the things you loved become things you cannot stand and vice versa. How blissful ignorance became anxiety over every little thing that crossed your mind. Time was an interesting thing.

But the more interesting idea was how someone never knew what they’d lost until it was gone. How you wouldn’t understand how difficult life would be until you’ve reached that point of growing up and wished upon every star that you could go back to when you hadn’t cared for anything and nothing genuinely mattered.

So deeply lost in the thought of life, you hadn’t noticed your boyfriend peeking out from his childhood home’s living room window or how your steps were slowing because of how deeply you were thinking. You completely forgot about your boyfriend’s impatient nature, and you didn’t notice how he came barreling toward you — capturing you in a tight hug. Your first instinct was to tense and push the person away from you, but the familiar scent of your love allowed you to lean into his touch, melting into his warmth.

With the heat that radiated off of him, it was easy to forget just how harshly the cold was biting at the exposed skin of your face. Your hands left your pockets with haste, wrapping your arms around his waist, and pulling him closer to you. You wanted to be as close to him as inhumanly possible. His arms were locked around the back of your neck, burying his head in the juncture between your shoulder and your neck, nuzzling as closely as he could. His breathing was steady but blowing directly on your skin, sending a shudder down your spine due to the difference of his breathing and the air outside with the pair of you.

Nick pulled back slowly, a slow and soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he stared fondly at your frostbitten nose. “Hi, baby.” He greeted you officially, a wider grin enveloping his features when you tugged him closer again. “Ya’ cold, huh?”

“I was freezing,” you retorted with the smallest attitude that lost any of its bite with your next words, “then you hugged me, and I forgot what season it was.”

His cheeks flushed, tinting brighter than that of the tip of your nose and it was all because of your words. He slapped your shoulder, albeit playfully. “You can’t jus’ say things like that!”

Your lips quirked up in an amused smirk at his faux outrage. “Why not?”

“Because!” He huffed out, but left the playful disagreement alone after that. “Now, get ya’ ass inside the house before we both get hypothermia from this.”

“Yes, sir.” You murmured quietly, feeling sick with all the love and warmth he gave to you with a few touches and his hold. You pressed a soft and lingering kiss to his forehead, chuckling when his ears burned the same color as his face.

When he continued to complain about your overly sweet gestures, you shook your head in amusement. He thought his words would stop you from expressing your love for him.

He was very wrong.

One of your hands that’d been resting on his hip bone reached up to grasp his jaw tenderly. He was quieted by your lips slotting with his smoothly. Your eyes had fluttered shut, feeling the warmth of his body overtake your body temperature. The kiss was soft and tentative, slow with every move of your lips and slip of your tongues.

You reluctantly pulled away from his lips first, looking at him softly. His lips were still parted and his eyes were still fluttered shut.

“Shut me up like that forever,” he mumbled breathlessly, “please.”

“Whatever you want.” You knew the gentle smile on your face was audible with every word that left you. You waited for his eyes to open back up, falling in love with the color of his eyes all over again. “I’ll never get over how pretty you are.”

His eyes immediately darted away from your intense gaze. “Stop it.”

Your hand that remained on his jaw slowly moved upward. Your fingers carefully tracing every slope and plane of skin along his cheekbone, running the back of your knuckles along the growing stubble of his jaw. “What if I don’t wanna’?”

“Ya’ too sweet t’me.”

“I think I’m the perfect amount of sweet t’ya’, angel.”

His breath came out shaky. “Nuh-uh,” he tried to argue against the feeling of your tentative fingers on his face, “too … too sweet.”

Your lips pulled back into a smirk, removing your hand away from where it had cradled his face to cup his waist again, pulling him closer into your body. “Think I’ll have to spoil you a lil’ more today if that’s what ya’ really think, sweetheart.”

“Please?” His eyes had rounded, pupils expanding the tiniest bit.

“Whatever you want.”

♱

The difference between the outside chilled, frost biting air and the warmth of the heater in the house was felt immediately.

Your body was being tugged along by Nick, who’s grip on your hand was tight and he was pulling you along quite quickly — much to your ever growing amusement.

You stopped his relentless tugging when the pair of you had reached the living room of his childhood family home. He whined under his breath, nearly stomping one of his feet when he turned to see what you were doing. You raised an eyebrow, smiling at his needy nature.

To make him all the more impatient, you purposefully took off your fingerless gloves at the slowest pace possible. You toed out of your Timberlands, shedding the layered hoodie (of which made your shirt underneath rise the slightest bit to expose your hip bones, making Nick eye you eagerly) and jacket you adorned — followed by the removal of your beanie. You were left in a white T-Shirt, gray sweatpants, and black socks. You took out your AirPods to put them in the case you kept in your pocket.

He grabbed ahold of your hand again, pulling you with him despite your chuckles. When you passed the kitchen, you saw his family sitting together around the kitchen’s island. You stopped following Nick, planting your feet against their floors. He huffed at your lack of need. You sent him a wink, freeing yourself from his tight grip and wandering over to greet his family in the polite manner you’d been taught once upon a time.

“Hey, fam’, how are we?” You grinned when all eyes turned to you.

Everyone cheered your name with an amount of joy that made your heart swell, they all stood from their stools and approached you.

Mary-Lou was the first to, wrapping her arms around your middle, and squeezing tightly when your arms embraced her shoulders. “How are you, sweet boy?”

Your smile softened at her tone, she was so maternal it made your chest ache. “I’m doin’ alright, Mama Mary. How’ve you been?”

“Even better now that my home has the entire family in it.” She beamed up at you when she pulled back from the hug, reaching up to cradle your face between her soft hands. “You have to come around more often, you hear me?”

Your eyes had to have been twinkling with the amount of happiness that surrounded you. “Yes, ma’am.” You nodded, leaning into her hands. Your eyes crinkled with the strength of your smile when she pulled your head down to plant a kiss your forehead.

The second she backed away, Jimmy placed a firm hand on your shoulder, pulling you into his strong embrace. Your arm closest to his body reached up to wrap around his shoulders, chuckling when he shook you playfully. “It’s good to see you, kiddo.” He smiled at you, squeezing your shoulder for reassurance.

“You, too, Jimmy.” You grinned at him brightly, nearly eye-to-eye with the tall man.

Justin was next in line when Jimmy stepped away. He stared at you blankly, making your eyebrow arch expectantly. He burst out laughing at the silence he’d caused, wrapping his arms around you quickly. “Nice to see ya’, man.”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded before pushing him off you to punch his shoulder playfully, “better be nice to see me.” He grinned at your cheeky nature, bumping his arm with yours as he walked to sit next to his mother.

That was when the other two thirds of the triplets approached you warmly, dapping you up individually and pulling you into one-armed hugs in sequence.

“We missed ya’, man.” Matt greeted you, still a little shy and quiet, but more welcoming than he had been the previous times.

“Yeah, kid, you gotta come ‘round more often.” Chris agreed with his brother, a grin stretching across his face that only grew when he noticed Nick behind everyone.

Nick had his arms crossed, a pout of sorts on his lips, but his eyes were incredibly soft as he looked at everyone in his family interacting warmly with his boyfriend. The look in his eyes was quick to change when gazes turned to him. He started looking around at everyone expectantly, tapping his sock-clad foot silently against the flooring.

“Can I have my boyfriend back now?” He sassed them, pressing his lips together to stop himself from laughing along with everyone else that had started snickering at his clinginess. You, on the other hand, were looking at him lovingly.

“Don’t stay up there too long, boys.” Mary-Lou looked between them sternly. “I want to have dinner with everyone here.”

“Of course, mom.” Nick agreed with her quickly to get back to his task, reaching out to grab your hand again, and pulling you toward the stairs that would lead you to his room.

Before leaving entirely, you saw the mischievous look in Chris’ eyes — a gaze he shared with Justin as he smirked. “Don’t forget to use protection!” He called out to the pair of you.

“Oh, my god!” Nick froze at the call out, groaning in complete embarrassment. “Stop talkin’ forever, Chris. Jesus Christ.” He picked up the pace, dragging your figure that was shaking with laughter from Chris’ comment. “Ignore him, please!” He begged his family loudly before slamming the door shut as soon as you were both in his room.

Your eyebrows were raised as you looked at him silently, knowingly.

He groaned again. “Don’t start!”

Your hands shot up, demonstrating your alleged innocence in the situation. But the smirk on your lips gave your intentions away.

You approached him slowly then, your hands lowering to rest at his hips in hopes of getting him to calm down. You moved the fabric of the sweater he was wearing, rubbing small circles on the skin overtop his bones.

He sighed silently, relaxing into your touch, and wrapping his arms around your neck.

“What was that I said about spoilin’ you?” You murmured against his mouth, your breath caressing his lips quietly. The pair of you were close enough to kiss, but you kept yourself just out of reach to tease him.

“Oh, please?”

icarus inquires . . .

since i didn’t do a kinktober / flufftober, figured i’d do something for december. so welcome to my twelve days of christmas where i post a fic every other day until ( my ) christmas ( dec. 24 ) !

tags . . .

@mattsfavoritestar / @peiivnao / @joopsworlx

[dufferpuffer]

It's really unfortunate that people look at Lycanthropy in Harry Potter and go "It's super yucky the author said she based it on HIV"... ...and then that's the extent they consider it as disability representation: A failure. An insult. The HIV shoe doesn't fit, so it's bad and should be ignored.

A comment from the Author outside of the books has so thoroughly coloured what is seen inside of the books in the dumbest way. When has a fantasy illness EVER worn the shoe of a real disability and had it fit...? Just because authors can be dumb idiot fucks doesn't mean the depth of experience they write doesn't have any merit, consciously or subconsciously - for better or for worse.

It's our job to be smart enough to pick the bones from the blorbo's we are fed - and to be delusional enough to treat them as if they are analogous to real experience, to chew out as much as we can from his narrative. That's the point of fiction. B^)

+ Remus has an invisible disability. (That alone is rare to see) + For multiple days a month he gets visibly unwell - Pale, peaky, weary... he feels off-colour. It heralds his worst symptoms. + Every month he experiences excruciating pain, the humiliation of losing control of his body, the terror of losing grip on his thoughts. Sometimes he self harms in this state. + For multiple days after - he is fatigued. All day laying down. Can't even sit at the table for Christmas lunch or do things he enjoys. + He struggles to keep weight on because of it. Any weight be puts on through the month is lost, leaving him thin and ragged again. ~~~ + The only treatment for his symptoms doesn't help much - and is deeply unpleasant (and a bit degrading) to take. + It's also expensive and difficult to get - he has to see very particular practitioners and jump through hoops to even have a chance for it, in a society that is hostile to his disability. + Even when treated - his condition prevents him from working to a schedule. He needs special facilities and support just to manage. + His poor health may lead him to run late on his work tasks, even when treated and supported adequately. + His disability makes him unemployable. He will not be hired BECAUSE of stigma against his specific condition. + His illness is contagious, which complicates how he lives his life and how he see's himself - as well as how others treat him. + There is rampant misinformation on his condition, probably equal or more than accurate education. Everyone has wrong assumptions and will cling to them tooth and nail.

Like this is is GOOD!!! These symptoms and situations aren't representative of any one disability but I bet most disabled people have at least SOMETHING they will strongly resonate with.

That's not even getting into the fact his mental health is bad BECAUSE of having to live with a disability without support - in rich ways that are allowed to be messy and complicated, that aren't trying to pander to able-bodied people so they don't feel uncomfortable... that don't smooth over the horrors of being unwell and knowing you will never get better and nobody will understand you.

Disability in media most of the time is just "This person lost an arm and the memories make him sad :^( don't worry though his robot arm is better than a normal one :^)" and "I use a wheelchair, and sometimes it can be hard - but all my friends don't mind :^) It rarely ever gets in the way, and when it does, everyone comes together to help me! btw I play a sport" And that's it. Oh sorry I forgot "Blind person but they have super senses"

Those tropes can be done well. But to get anything outside of them is so, SO fucking rare... so it is weird that when Remus has existed for over two decades as a disabled character with depth and nuance... He isn't discussed as he is a poor representation of a single diagnosis.

[strawberrystepmom]

hello kendy! hope you're having a wonderful day! i love reading your selfship posts so much, it's so refreshing to see someone loving themselves and others the way you do!

i have a bit of lack of confidence when it comes to my body, sometimes i'm self conscious that i'm bigger than my f/os and i'm shy to even share stuff about it, how do you get past that? i would like to be more confident in myself😭

hello friend <333 thank you so much the sweet words. i'm a certified lover girl it's the only thing besides breathing i'm naturally good at so it's very affirming that the behavior resonates with someone somewhere lmao

so this is a complex feeling and i understand. it's really easy for me to sit here and say "just imagine that you're beautiful and believe it <3" but that is like distinctly unhelpful even though it is advice that i think everyone should take to heart. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. there is no one way to be beautiful but the most surefire way is to start with appreciating the stuff you're made of. your heart, soul, and mind. that's where love radiates from.

but i will say as far as physical beauty goes, it's difficult sometimes when you're in a head space of thinking like man i'm not good enough for this person, they wouldn't want me, etc. it hurts but i want you to, every time you think that, to imagine saying that aloud about yourself to your fav - a person who loves you. imagine saying i'm too x. i'm ugly. i'm stupid. i'm lame. imagine their reaction to that, how upset they'd be to hear it. a person who loves you will never ever ever want to hear you say that about you because they'd never believe it no matter how you look. we are always far more cruel towards ourselves than we deserve and someone who cares about you is going to love all of you and not zero in on the flaws you see as unable to be ignored.

your fav loves your smile. your cheeks. your arms and legs and lips. the way you sigh when you're bored, the way you style your hair. the way you dress, smell, and make yourself feel beautiful when you need the boost. they see the things about you that you take for granted - the way your eyes sparkle and you gnaw your lip and even something as small as the way you pop your fingers.

you wanna know how i know that? because you love those things about them too. that's what love is. seeing every little thing about someone and helping them embrace it enough to love it too.

[grlsbstshot]

Join us for the next chapter of NEON LIGHTS premiering Wednesday

(Don’t miss updates every Wednesday & Saturday for NEON LIGHTS, an original character fanfic. Chapters & Special Extras found on the masterlist.)

IMANI INVITES YOU TO READ HER DIARY By: Vanessa Lawton JAN. 2026

It’s been a year since Imani St. Cirie, the sultry and enigmatic singer-songwriter, made headlines for her surprise EP release, Diary. In the following months, she became an awards show darling. Winning Billboard, AMAs, and even a BRIT Award. It all culminated in a Grammy win in Best R&B Song for the top ten Billboard hit, Kitchen. But since then? Nothing. We sit down with the superstar to find out exactly what's on the horizen.

Exuding a quiet confidence, Imani sits opposite me in the PAPER magazine headquarters. It's a simple interview, one that shouldn't take more than an hour or so but she makes herself comfortable. Imani, dressed in a HOESMAD cropped tee, baggy cargo jeans, and black and white pair of Bathing Apes, there’s a softness to her demeanor that suggests it's been a long year for the superstar. "It's been a year of unexpected successes. I really didn't expect for Diary to be that successful, but I'm grateful. I think it did what it needed to do."

From the heartbreak that inspired her latest EP to the unexpected that has helped her heal, she’s unflinchingly honest. "Love is tough. It's complicated. I don't think it's meant to be easy, but whatever is real, you'll fight for it. No matter what."

This is a different Imani—one who’s no longer defined by her past but empowered by it. And as she prepares to step back into the spotlight, it’s clear that she’s not just reclaiming her voice—she’s rewriting her story.

VL: Diary was a huge success last year. How did it feel to see it resonate so deeply with your fans? Imani: “It’s so crazy because I just released that EP to let all these emotions I felt out. I never thought that so many people would like it. Like damn, y’all really fuck with me.”

VL: Your lyrics often feel deeply personal. Do you find it difficult to share so much of yourself through your music?

Imani: “No. Music is a release for me. I use my songwriting as a way to get everything out. The hardest part for me is releasing it to the world because like you said it is deeply personal.”

VL: What’s been the most rewarding moment in your career over the past year?

Imani: “When I won a Grammy for ‘Kitchen,’ like wow. I’m still in shock about that.”

VL: Fans have speculated about the themes of Diary. Was it inspired by personal experiences?

Imani: “Yes, but all my art is. Where else am I supposed to draw inspiration from?”

VL: You and James Lucas have a shared history in music. Do you think you’ll ever collaborate?

Imani: “I don’t know…that’s a question he should probably answer.” 

VL: What’s next for you musically? Can fans expect a full album soon?

Imani: “I wouldn’t say soon! I’ve been so busy with videos and promo for Diary that I haven’t gotten a chance to go to the studio but I’m always writing and I want to release something next year.” 

VL: You’ve been linked to several high-profile individuals this year. How do you handle the constant media scrutiny of your personal life?

Imani: “I try to ignore it because the media tends to think they know everything about Imani but I promise you they don’t know even know a quarter of me. So I try not to let it bother me.” 

VL: You’ve been very private about your relationships lately. Is that intentional?

Imani: “Yes, because it’s no one’s business but my own. After my relationship with my ex, I think I’m owed some privacy.”

VL: What’s been the biggest lesson you’ve learned about yourself in the past year?

Imani: “That it’s okay to sit in your sorrow sometimes. No matter how much you try, you can’t run from it. You can’t hide from it. So it’s okay to sit and wallow for a little bit.” 

VL: You’ve spoken before about the importance of self-care. What does that look like for you now?

Imani: “Right now? It looks like a day off with sleeping in, a bubble bath with a seaweed face mask, some pasta and a marathon of Sex and the City. I know that ain’t y’all ideal self-care but it’s mine.” 

VL: What role has your family or close friends played in supporting you this year? 

Imani: “My aunt has been the most vital part to Diary’s rollout. I told her what I wanted to do and what publications I wanted to. She handled it all for me.” 

VL: Are there any misconceptions about you that you’d like to clear up?

Imani: “Nah, take what you heard about me and double that shit!” 

VL: What’s one thing fans would be surprised to learn about you?

Imani: “That I’m really a happy person. They always coming up to me, asking me if I’m okay because they heard such-and-such song and are concerned but guys, I promise y’all I’m fine.” 

VL: How do you handle creative blocks or moments of doubt in your career?

Imani: “I try to write through it. Like even if the lyric is trash as fuck, I write it out just so I can get it out of my head.” 

VL: If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be?

Imani: “Everything will be okay. I know things are looking bleak right now but you will be fine! Crashing out all the time ain’t worth it, girl.” 

The late afternoon sun was starting to set but a few rays spilled through the wide windows of Jameson’s New York brownstone, casting golden streaks across the hardwood floors. He sat at his kitchen table, the picture of comfort. T-shirt, jogging pants, no socks. The room was quiet, except for the occasional hum of the city outside. A glass of water sat untouched on the table beside him. His phone lay in his hand, the screen glowing with the headline of an article he hadn’t been prepared to see.

Imani Invites You to Read Her Diary

He stared at the cover for a long moment, his thumb hovering over the link. She looked gorgeous, the picture of perfection. Her eyes carried a calm he hadn’t seen in them before. Maybe he was imagining it but she looked...like she was thriving without him. He felt his chest tighten. It had been a full, agonizing year since he’d seen her. Since she’d walked out of his life. And now, here she was, staring back at him from his screen like a ghost that refused to stay buried.

He finally tapped the link, the words unfolding before him like a slow unraveling of a wound he thought had begun to heal.

"After my relationship with my ex, I think I'm owed some privacy." she’d said. He read those words over and over, the simplicity of them cutting deeper than he expected but she was right. They were high profile in the best ways but also in some of the worst ways. She deserved to keep her cards close to her chest. It didn't stop the blogs from talking about her...and Amir. And Vivienne. He'd seen photographic proof that she had moved on. It seemed that space had finally evolved to over for her.

His eyes scanned the article, taking in her reflections on the past year. She spoke of growth, of self-care, of understanding herself. There was a brief mention of him but she didn't dwell. Part of him was proud of her.

Jameson leaned back against the chair and waited for deep mournful pain to hit him. It always did when he imagined the rest of his life without her...but remarkably, it didn't come. He felt hurt when she had moved on. He drank and closed himself off, eventually began therapy when his grief had taken a worrying turn, and even moved across the country to get away from his feelings for her. After a year of pouring his emotions into his music and six months into some semblance of a relationship with Camille -- Jameson had finally stopped grieving.

He still loved her, that much was clear. But he had finally accepted that their lives wouldn't merge again. He could read the article about her, feel the pain, and then...simply trust in the knowledge that she was happy.

His doorbell rang and the sound startled him, pulling him from his thoughts. He set the phone down, the screen dimming as he stood. For a brief moment, he considered not answering, but the ringing came again.

He hadn't been expecting anyone. Still, he got up and tried to leave thoughts of Imani in his kitchen -- and was met by the image of a pretty brunette on his front stoop.

Camille Lefevre.

Her long, brown hair was pulled up into a topknot, her usual style when she wasn't strutting down runways or covering magazines. If you passed her on the street, her beauty would be obvious and you'd immediately know she was a supermodel.

They met at an afterparty, amid his emotional spiraling. Imani was on her second new relationship in six months. He watched with envy, a sick gnawing in his gut. He hadn’t been able to escape updates. It ate him up to see her move on when he seemed stuck in a rut. His mother had been so concerned that she damn near moved into his home until he moved to New York. To stop her from coming with him, he promised to start therapy. He started going out more -- though he didn't enjoy it.

Camille had seen through his disgruntled demeanor. She made him laugh at a time when people didn’t even get to see him smile. She was bold, kind, driven. She wanted him and she was going to have him. Casual sex, late-night conversations, and dinner dates followed over the next few months when either of them had the time. They didn’t give it a name but it was something.

Jameson opened the door to find her holding a bag of takeout and wearing that bright, effortless smile he’d grown to appreciate. She was a steady presence in his life, a warm light that had helped guide him through some of his darkest moments. But right now, standing in front of her, he felt the weight of the article still pressing on his chest.

"Hey," she said, stepping inside and leaning up to kiss his cheek. "I figured you probably forgot to eat, so I brought reinforcements."

Jameson forced a smile. "That's cute. She came to feed me."

"Well, someone has to." She tossed over her shoulder before heading into the kitchen. She set the bag on the counter and began unpacking containers, chattering away about the upcoming party for his album, excitement evident in her voice. Jameson tried to focus, nodding and murmuring responses where appropriate, but his mind kept drifting back to Imani’s words.

Camille turned to him, her brows furrowing slightly. "You okay? You seem...distracted."

Jameson hesitated, the truth caught somewhere between his chest and his throat. His first instinct was to lie to her but he heard his therapist clear in his mind. 'Is this lie protecting you, or is it holding you back?' He sighed and told her the truth. "I read an article today. About Imani."

He looked at her then, really looked at her. She was kind, patient, and always there when he needed her. She deserved his honesty, but he wasn’t sure how to give it to her without hurting her.

Camille’s expression softened, though a flicker of something unreadable passed through her eyes. "Oh."

She knew about him and Imani. Who didn't. When they first began, he tried to disconnect from Camille -- knowing he was still caught up on Imani but she let him know that she understood. She was taking a risk with him. It gave him the courage to take the same risk.

"It...caught me off guard," he continued, setting his chopsticks down. “I didn’t expect to see her face, to read about her life like that. I...It stung a little."

Camille nodded slowly, her hand resting on his. "It’s okay to feel that way, you know. You love her. That doesn’t just disappear overnight."

Jameson took a good look at her, lifting his hand from the counter and reaching up to brush a few tendrils of hair from her face. "It stung but it didn't...it didn't hurt me like I thought it would. I want her to be happy. Even if that's not with me. And I want to be happy with you."

Camille was quiet for a moment before she tilted her head, leaning against his hand. "You don't have to say that. It took a lot for you to get here. You've made a lot of progress. Feeling things for her doesn't erase that progress."

He wished she was a little less understanding. He wanted her to yell at him for feeling something for anyone other than her. That felt normal. But her simple acceptance of everything he was made him want to be more for her. Nothing he said or did would be good enough because he knew...she would always deserve more. She was getting half of a man. Why couldn't he just give her everything?

"I'm okay." "You are?" "Mhm. If I'm not, I will be. I'm with you. I'm good."

He watched her melt and felt proud that at least he'd gotten that right for her. Camille leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "I'm here for you, okay? Whatever you need."

"I know." he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm grateful."

As Camille returned to her food, Jameson’s gaze drifted to his phone on the counter. He turned it face down, trying to push Imani out of his mind once again. But deep down, he knew it wasn’t that simple. She was a part of him, no matter how much time passed or how far apart they were. And that realization was both comforting and excruciating.

[sabo-has-my-heart]

I Found You Again

3. Spoiler alert! Chapter 1044/Episode 1071 Spoilers!!!!!!

"Nika!Luffy and fem!reader where reader is the moon goddess. In the legends, the moon goddess and the sun god Nika were lovers that seperated to help humanity. Before Luffy is awakened, he feels a strange bond toward reader and so does she. Reader always loves being by his side, even in battle, which leads to her joing the crew. After the battle with Kaidou, Luffy was seriously injured. However, Luffy's awakening also trigger reader's awakening. Reader turns into goddess form that helps healing Luffy. Seeing reader in that form, Luffy laughs and pulls her in for a kiss, saying that he now knows why he is attracted to her, she was his, all this time. Reader, crying as now finally reunited with him, returns his kiss."

Warnings: Chapter 1044/Episode 1071 Spoilers!!!!

Word Count: 1180

     Nika gave his beloved a smile, though his eyes were brimming with tears. He really didn’t want to separate, much less like this.

     “I love you Nika and I know we’ll find each other again. One as untamable and restless as you? I have no doubt you’ll look for me. Just be careful. The humans are more fragile than we are.” the goddess said, giving her white haired lover a kiss.

     “I love you too G/n, I promise I’ll find you. You’re the only one who I would be willing to be chained by and the one I trust most not to do so. Don’t worry, I’ll be careful. Besides, we’ll be making them strong, then they won’t be as fragile.” Nika gave her his usual sunny smile, followed by his little ‘shishishi’ laugh that always made her smile. She gave him one last kiss, before touching her forehead to his as they disappeared, heading to the earth below.

     He’d always felt close to you, from the moment he saw you, he felt something for you. Granted, he didn’t know what he felt for you, only that it was something. Almost immediately, he’d asked you to join his crew. No reason given, just ‘join my crew!’. The others hadn’t been sure what to make of it. Most of them had joined for a reason, but you weren’t a navigator, a sniper, a first mate, a cook, or a musician. You weren’t an archaeologist, a shipwright, or a doctor. You were a devil fruit user on an island they stopped by. Okay, sure, you wanted to go out to sea, you said you were searching for… something. You’d told them it was a meaning, a purpose to your life, but you still weren’t like the others. Sure, you were strong, and yeah, you could fight, but Luffy hadn’t even known that in the beginning. Just, ‘join my crew’. Of course Luffy loved being around you constantly once you’d joined. Whether it was playing games on the deck, talking about beetles or something one of you found interesting, sitting next to you during meals, or even just laying on the grass together in silence. Where one was, the other could be found. Fights were much the same unless Luffy was fighting a particularly difficult opponent, you were by his side and had each other’s backs. That being said, he always made sure your safety was a priority. Meaning if he thought the fight would be too much for you, he got you out of harm's way.

     Looking up at the top of the skull that made up Onigashima, you couldn’t help the horror that filled you. Luffy… you couldn’t hear him anymore. Couldn’t hear his heart. Tears ran down your cheeks, your beloved was gone. You didn’t even notice the sudden pounding that resonated throughout your body. He couldn’t be gone, yet there was nothing coming from the rooftop. Another pulse ran through your body as your eyes changed color. Even in your pain induced trance, you noticed the strange pulsing that resonated throughout your body. Not that you cared, not until the sound of drums reached your ears. Your hair began to float slightly as it lengthened, turning a silvery white like the moon. The drums seemed to pick up in beat and volume as you smiled. Somehow, he wasn’t dead, ignoring Kaido, you shot up to the roof, your new found powers sending you flying through the air as you smiled, landing beside a rather different Luffy. His hair and clothes were white and though he was still wounded, he smiled at you. Placing a hand on his cheek, you smiled. Your touch was cool but pleasant as his wounds stitched themselves closed, his smile widening. As soon as he was healed enough to move, he was tackling you and pulling you into a kiss.

     “Shishishi, I found you, G/n! Told you I would!” Luffy said with a wide grin, though he wasn’t entirely certain as to what he was saying. Your name was Y/n, not G/n and he’d never promised to find you to the best of his knowledge, but the words left his mouth before he could think about them, not that he would have anyway.

     “I suppose you did. Now if only I could convince you to be careful for once!” you teased, taking his face in your hands. Luffy could only give you his signature little laugh as he smiled at you.

     “I was careful, promise! Besides, you’re here so now I’ll always be okay! You always make me feel better!” he said, pulling you into an embrace. His eyes suddenly widened as he pulled away, remembering what was happening below, “Oh! I forgot about Kaido! Hang on! I need to finish my fight!” he said excitedly, making you laugh.

     “You are absolutely not doing this without me this time!” you said as Luffy reached down to grab Kaido. Though Luffy’s sudden transformation seemed to surprise the others, you found yourself oddly unphased by his new look and abilities as you stayed on the roof with him. You wouldn’t jump in unless he needed it, Nika had never needed your aid before. Your brow furrowed as you shook your head. Luffy, Luffy had never needed your help in a fight before. Where had Nika come from? The ‘fight’ didn’t take long, Luffy easily defeating Kaido before stretching his arms and pulling you close again, giving you that same sunny smile he always gave you.

     The both of you seemed to return to ‘normal’ as you stood atop Onigashima together, though it was clear Luffy was feeling rather drained.

     “Rest, my sunlight. You’d been through a lot tonight. Just as the moon watches over those who slumber away, I’ll watch over you as you sleep.” you said softly, gently lowering him to the ground and lightly forcing his head into your lap. It wasn’t even 5 seconds later that his snores filled the air, letting you watch over and protect him as he rested. Though you’d healed some of his injuries, he would still need a great deal of rest. Picking him up and putting him on your back, you carried him back down to the others, smiling when they gave you odd looks.

     “There’s no way to explain anything without sounding insane, just trust me that Luffy and I are alright and there’s no need for concern. He’ll need a few days of rest though. Awakening a devil fruit like his is… a strain on his body.” you said, as you all headed off of the ‘island’ that now sat not far from the flower capital. Turning your head, you smiled at your sleeping love. You were finally reunited, truly reunited. Though you still didn’t understand why your mind kept calling him Nika or why you felt like you’d just reunited when you’d been fighting your way up to the top together, you could figure it out later, all that mattered right now was that you were together and he was alive.