#and im still on it for the most part
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little tidbits of Ragh, Porter, Jace, and Kalina lore from the past two seasons that you probably forgot about
SPOILERS for freshman & sophomore year obvs, as well as up to ep 16 of junior year [which is when I am writing this so if shit changes that's why]
Ragh got the Kalina disease from Porter
Kalina said Lydia Barkrock's name in FHSY - she says "I'm going to go kill Lydia Barkrock"
(source: 2:18:52 of ep 6 of FHSY)
What Ragh saw on prom night freshman year that made him a threat to Kalina: Jace and Arianwen talking to a third, invisible person. Then Porter steps in and does a type of barbarian healing spell that involves blood transfer, infecting Ragh. Then, as Ragh is walking home, Kalina threatens him, as he can see her now. So. BOTH JACE AND PORTER ARE AND HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY SUSPICIOUS INDIVIDUALS FROM THE START.
(source: 49:53 of ep 4 of FHSY)
We have never properly addressed the fact that Fig (and Emily Axford) did not start hating Porter completely out of nowhere. The triggering event was the Corn Cuties Incident at the very beginning of freshman year. In the immediate aftermath, after they go get Vice Principal Goldenrod (aka Kalvaxus), he orders Jace and Porter to keep watch over the crime scene. Fig rolled an insight check to see how Porter was reacting to the whole situation (Jace immediately started screaming at the sight of all the corn and blood and bodies). Brennan tells her 'Porter doesn't look all that surprised'. This is the spark of the Porter distrust.
(source: ep 3 of fantasy high, 20:49 for the insight roll, 32:30 for Jace & Porter going through the crime scene while Riz is hiding and observing)
will update with anything we learn, no guarantees on when tho
speculations meta under the cut
now i hear you screaming crying throwing up saying that Porter has actually been kind of cool lately, and I understand. personally i have not forgiven him for not signing gorgug's mcat in the first place, but i can see gorgug has, and thus many of you have. he does have some good things to say about the importance of anger and being able to channel your aggression.
however, I thought Vice Principal Goldenhoard was kind of cool before the finale of season 1, and I thought A Certain Frosting-haired Motherfucker was kind of cool before ep 9 of acoc - Brennan is excellent at making you trust people you should not be trusting. Also, although we know Porter wasn't in on the palimpsest plan [he gets sucked into one], that doesn't mean he wasn't in contact with Kalina at all.
there's one scenario I can think of in which Porter would be innocent, which I consider to be unlikely but possible.
We're post-Prompocalypse.
Jace has to be evil for this to work. imo Jace is demonstrably some level of evil (the talk w Kalina and Arianwen) but just in case you're on the fence. He also has to know that Porter is infected.
Porter is there, and does not know that he is infected.
If he hasn't been collaborating with Kalina, why would he? It's established that the Shadowcat Plague has no symptoms other than "you can see Kalina", and was spread far beyond just Fallinel.
[e.g. in fhsy, they do a livestream of Kalina, and responses are mixed between people who can see her and people who can't (1:11:38 ep 17)] so he could just have it by happenstance.
Alternately, it's possible that Jace infected Porter at some point over the course of the school year. I'm not saying they fucked (I mean they could've but I don't think that's what happened). It's established that spit can do it too - in the nightmare forest, Kalina tries to get Kristen to bite Riz to reinfect him (20:44 ep 17). Sharing a cup, a bottle, a fork, a whistle, anything your mouth goes on could've done it. Or Porter could've done the blood-sharing healing spell to Jace at some point.
Regardless, Kalina tells Jace that Ragh needs to be infected, Jace tells Porter to go heal Ragh, keeping himself uninvolved.
otherwise it is just too coincidental that Ragh is infected exactly when Kalina needs him to be. Either Porter's in on it, or was manipulated by Jace.
and then Fig's dirty 20 insight check to see that he doesn't look surprised would have to just be him going 'yeah it makes sense that arthur aguefort would do something this batshit, just another day at aguefort adventury academy'
#dimension 20#d20#dimension 20 spoilers#d20 spoilers#fhjy spoilers#fhjy#fhsy#fhsy spoilers#fantasy high#fantasy high spoilers#original post#look i've been on fig's side since day one#and im still on it for the most part#ref
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playing with my rose design.......... maybe not so much yurification happening here as much as an attempt to detwinkify
#idk if you squint you can still see her as a yaoi protagonist probably#maybe thats my special skill#homestuck#rose lalonde#art#doodling#bed time now#idk WHAT im going to do with kanaya probably only tweak her design a bit cuz i do rly like how i draw her for the most part??#but i am feeling this rose more than my prior roses
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good ol days
#arcane#viktor#jayce#jayvik#vikjayce#admin draws#fanart#forgot to post this (cause i wasnt happy with it) but i might as well.#before the new season drops fucking TOMORROW.#is everyone ready. im not.#doublepost tonight bc i forgot and because well its been kind of dry lately hasnt it huh. uni kicking my ass#so funny how the part im most happy with in this is still jayces hand on the left lololol#i loooove mixing a thin brush and a thick blotty one its so fun. even if you cant see it that much here as u can in some other ones
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This is part 1 of a continuation for my other post where LL Megatron gets trapped in the G1 universe, I was thinking about how someone would go insane in this cartoon world and thought "what if Megatron had someone else to accompany him" so, I gave Starscream an existential crisis
Edit: pt 2 here
#guys i cant continue this comic I'll get too attached to the “oh its g1 animation errors excuse”#“this has great potential to be hilarious” makes angst instead#starscream i love you but your shoulder spike thingies are annoying to draw#theres only two parts but i wanted to keep my streak of posting art daily#DO NOT BE FOOLED BY HIS CUTE FACE HES STILL EVIL hes just having alot of thoughts right now#sorry if my handwriting is hard to read at the end#i print when i can but i... unironicly write in cursive#transformers#megastar#megascream#megatron#starscream#megatron x starscream#transformers fanart#transformers g1#tf idw#transformers au#ok looking at this a day later i realize how bad the flow is#note to self draw just make comics on the same canvas in the future#i will say though Ive never made comics before its pretty good for character angle practice! I need to do more of these#also use a character ref sheet!!! I gotta look at refs if im gonna do this cause its kinda obvious most of my drawings are from memory#G1 x LL AU
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the only woman ever actually
design ramblings below
plus a blackfire and starfire side by side i might ramble in the tags
#sorry ive been ignoring my tumblr i accidentally got obsessed with sonic.#anyway yes ive had a komand'r design in my wips for a bit... for .. something else im working on but i just never got around to it.#im not the happiest with it? i still want to add more details to it later on just because im noticing things i forgot#same with kori i want to keep the same vibe she has in NNT#but its not the most to work with?#so i added more armour elements#mostly with the boots and the little hip details#it kinda slipped my mind about adding more of the green detailing below the chest#kori the only yhing i added is the little rip in the thigh part to kinda be the same as the opening in the sides#also i did draw these with symmetry on... i was lazy#starfire#blackfire#koriand'r#komand’r#ash's doodlings#dc fanart#new teen titans#teen titans
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lmaoooo the kuroken is strong with the crunchyroll subs
#im too tired to find the manga panel rn to double check what the og translation is#but i dont think this was the exact wording lmao#kuroken#overall the crunchyroll subs are the best ive seen between the formats ive watched#i only have a few complaints so far#(why wont they give me 'devour every scrap of their bones'??? and sighhh 'man who walks ahead of me/hes always one step ahead of me' doesnt#hit the same in any of the subs ive seen but meh)#both my american and japanese theater experiences had subtitles that i literally couldnt understand what was supposed to be#happening at parts lmao#just like there was no context given or it was too literal or just actually wrong at times#so this version has been MILES better#everything is understandable and the jokes are actually funny lol#(i still dont get why they dont just copy the manga translations for the most part. iirc the actual japanese is the same across both so why#not make the translation the same too)#garbage dump#x
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Fed love from silver spoons, reasons to be grateful… 🥄ᯓ★
#your origin#theo wood#fiona frost#so. im losing my mind cuz these lyrics hits too close to home man.#THIS 🗣️ IS 🗣️ THEIR 🗣️ SONG 🗣️ YA 🗣️ HEAR🗣️#heavy on the mother & their differences part RJWGAGA#fav song after famine lane tho.#silver spoon freaking nepobaby gal facing a guy who has a famous father but neglected and yet.#these two individuals be having the most insane character conflict I ever made ‘cause if you see#theo freakin envy fiona-still a future event this post-but ITS FUCKING CRAZY#BUT THIS IS LIKE THE FIRST TIME THEO ACTUALLY DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO FEEL#uugh.#ts4#sims 4#simblr#my sims#ts4 edit#sims 4 edit#maybe this considers a pre-valentine post no? kinda edgy whats wrong w me
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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.
-Shrimp Anon
The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.
Get ready cause this is a yap session:
Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.
I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.
The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.
This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.
Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...
These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.
I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.
Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.
It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.
I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.
It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.
There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.
End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.
#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces#regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary#but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful#and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to#explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen#in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what#is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit#from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line#in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue#that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t#upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do#something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those#two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example#or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the#fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically#violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out#in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game#but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of#rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se#how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is#concerned about with Jimmy#and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy#instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste#which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab#complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post#on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if#you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make#the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions
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Hey, prof. How are your classes? My new first-year students are quite behaved this year.
post-nrc yuusha brain worms are getting to me,,,,
anyways i finally figured it out- i want her to start working as the art professor at nrc probably a short time after graduation 👀
(so not really post-nrc since she's still there 💀)
#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twst#twisted wonderland#twst yuusona#twst yuu#(💜) yuusha#postnrc💜#-✦—]#i'm still playing around what her outfit would be so this may be changed---#i was looking at stereotypical art teacher/professor fits#and uh a lot of them are loose cardigans#and yknow what-#that's already her style for the most part i think ;;;#im also debating if i want her to learn how to use magic or stay magicless post-nrc#and if i want her and grim to stay a “package deal”#HMMMMMM#i'll be thinking about it -
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God, I'm (yet again) exhausted. What a show. I will say, flaws and all, it's still one of the best animated series I've watched. Ever. No, I don't think it deserves the vitriol it's getting on social media.
I have a LOT of emotions right now. I don't think I'm even thinking straight after watching through everything once. It definitely needs to be re-watched multiple times. No, I'm not offering any kind of insights or anything like that. I think I'm just too emotional seeing my favorite show end.
I really wanna thank the writers, directors, artists, animators, producers, and everyone else who worked on this show for this work of art. It was beautiful, and it's why I love making gifs of this show.
And just because this show has ended, doesn't mean I'll stop making things. There's two whole seasons to work with now. I hope I can have enough free time to post regularly. I still need to make some 8k wallpapers and a ton of gifs haha.
I'll take a break and sleep for now. I'll see what I can make when I wake up tomorrow. I have so many things I want to do, but I also feel like crap and I too, have a life LMAO.
Oh, and I'm still looking forward to the next stories that they tell us! Runeterra truly has amazing lore. Excited to see what's next!
Thank you for all the likes, reblogs, and support you guys give to my lil sideblog! I appreciate you guys so much <3
#personal tag#its arcane.... not everything will be happy fr but gah my heart hurts#ive also allowed replies for now in all gifsets and posts but piss me off and i will block you and close it again#i havent rlly processed everything bc ive been making gifs#but yeah im in fuckin shambles idk what to feel honestly#it rlly hurts to see ppl totally shit on the show you love but i suppose its a sign not to look at social media in general#criticisms are fine but some of them take it a bit too far#the first season was so good (and most ppl watched it with 0 expectations in mind) that the second season had too much to live up to#for what it's worth i still very much enjoyed it even with a few gripes#my grade is like 9.5/10 for s2 while s1 gets like a 11/10 haha#i have a feeling that when i rewatch the show i’ll appreciate it more since im less emotional haha the score will prolly go higher#thank you to everyone who was a part of this show <3#anyways its 2am goodnight my goal for the next coming days is a gifset or two a day#thank you everyone ily <3
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yall ever think Shen Yuan went through like, internet withdrawal after being transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu? Like, he's canonically a NEET shut-in who did nothing but spend his time online, you can't tell me that for the first week or first few weeks of being SQQ he wasn't twitchy.
Like, reaching instinctively to his pockets for a phone that wasn't there, having an obsessive itch in the back of his mind that he should check and see if X or Y novel or webcomic has updated -- only to realize he can't anymore and being irritated by it. Wanting to go and see if there's new posts about this or that, but again realizing that he can't.
When he's bored or uncomfortable or just feels like wanting to escape he tries to go for his phone to distract himself, but oops! Not there anymore, and now he has to find a new and different way to distract himself from his feelings. And going through system notifications, quests, etc only does so much.
And there's that Tetris Effect too. SQQ makes a mistake while writing and instinctively goes to backspace on it except hey-ho that's not a keyboard and now he just dipped his pinkie into a bottle of ink or on a still-drying letter.
With him scrambling to fix his reputation and learn how to be a peak lord, I think his abrupt cold-turkey from all things internet would just be another straw on the camel's back that he promptly Ignores until it goes away on its own after he acclimates to his new surroundings.
#svsss#mxtx svsss#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#i think him learning how to be a peak lord and cultivation and everything else would help distract him from the internet withdrawal for the#most part. but the moment there's a lull in the day and his mind wanders or he becomes bored or stressed and he instinctively reaches back#for his phone and realizes it isn't there it just sends a spike of panic/frustration/irritation through him because its a familiar comfort#and now its gone. like this is all based off my own experiences from being Chronically Online but i just think its neat to think about#in that same vein i think it also pushes him into getting into the arts on QJP. Like as the peak lord naturally he would be doing this kind#of stuff but hes NOT the peak lord but to keep up appearances he has to know how to do this stuff. and finds it??? actually quite rewarding#even more than getting into an argument online or getting a new merch item. he's making or doing this stuff. he starts drawing and finishes#a piece and regardless of its skill level he feels something unclog in his chest. like sediment being scraped off the bottom of a creek and#being washed downstream. a weight that's been slogging through his veins suddenly untangled. physical proof of his efforts that feels great#starry is incapable of NOT giving her favorite blorbos more hobbies. starry is incapable of not giving her favorites artsy hobbies#this is probably NOT a new or original thought whatsoever but im throwing it out there anyways bc it fascinates me. i love transmigration#and albeit i've only read isekai manhwa/manhua there's a common theme of the people there assimilating into their new lives relatively quic#which i know is for ease of transition and getting to the rest of the story. but WHAT IF.#i have still not read svsss yet and idk when i'll be able to BUT have some thoughts anyways
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part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ... |
and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!
if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd
go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3
#hlvrai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#frenrey#carrots au#<- gotta remember to tag the other ones as well#yippie im so excited to finally start sharing these with people!!!#there will be at least 5 parts in total maybe more idk#i just wanted to illustrate this little snippet of the first fic#maybe i'll draw more of these if i get another vision#i am still trying to work on the animatic so that would probs include most of my visions anyway#i think im gonna post a wip sometime soon just in case i lose interest#also i crave validation and reading people's tags and comments makes me so so so happy!!!><#btw it kinda feels nice posting something like. after a while#cos it's been quite a bit since i finished this first.. part? page? thingy#and it's nice to finally stay out of the whole instant gratification thing#please do still go crazy in the tags tho? if u want?#mkay enough rambling for today i've got things to do#like be cozy n read fanfics n drink water n stuff yk?#all the important thingz#and who knows maybe i'll even make some progress on.. whatever it is that piques my interest today#bye for now!!! take care and have a very orange day <3#art tag or whatever
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harry with a tramp stamp has just been simmering on my brain’s back burner for weeks thank you @httpsawesome for the wonderful concept
#jeans just a hater harry. youre killing it (the spirit of grammar that is)#disco elysium#de fanart#disco elysium fanart#fanart#de#shitpost#my art#harry du bois#jean vicquemare#i mean… he makes an appearance!#these were supposed to be thumbnails then. they just turned into panels. oops#also supposed to be colored but! art block still goin strong! so im declaring this finished#if any of this looks wonky it probably is! i didnt really bother w references for the most part tehe 😅#except for the last panel which was mostly eyeballing pics w similar angles… n e ways
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If I Lead (pt1)
"You have to be fucking kidding me..."
He really thought the whole Isu shit was behind him. The world burned and his job was done. Nearly all of 7 billion people dead, but at least not under an evil Godesses whim as slaves. He was doing as he was told, he was leading the people out of the doom he inflicted upon them and helping them rebuild.
His job with all the Apples and Isu bullshit should be done! So why did his eyes open in the sanctuary of Monteriggioni out of all the fucking places.
"That's what I get for touching that damn shit!"
He should have left it fucking alone, it was perfectly fine where it was! Hidden under rubbles and sand in a half-collapsed cave Desmond ventured in to map out to see if there was any underground water source.
He had found a gorgeous cenote in the depths of the cave with fresh water, which was all fun till he noticed an all too familiar golden sheen at the bottom of it.
He should have turned around and left the place, fuck the Isu's, fuck the apples fuck everything.
"FUCK!"
He kicked the base of one of the statues. His voice echoed in the stone room.
He just had to dive in and get it, didn't he. He was conditioned like a dog. Like a Pavlovian itch, he swam into the depths just to touch it.
"Because why not huh, maybe it can help us, maybe I can learn something from it" He mumbled to himself in a mocking voice "God I am so fucking stupid! I should have left it alone."
He knew nothing good came out of any Isu artifact! He knew it yet he still touched it and now he was here after the all too familiar light show he experienced.
He squatted on his knees, holding his head in his hands. "I am way too old for this"
He raised his head and took a look around. This place did not change at all. Even in his forties, this place was always fresh in Desmond's mind like a second home and nothing had changed at all.
He wiped his face with a palm and shook his head. Alright...He was in Italy now.
He had to figure out how to get back.
Thankfully Shaun and Rebecca could perfectly handle the camp while he was away but he was already a month late from his exploration and now who knows how long it would take for him to get back. Few months with a boat? That is if he could find one.
"Good job Desmond, you fucked up once again" he sighed and got up, hearing his knees crack.
He scratched his beard and looked toward the stairs that led to the main exit. "Let's hope the fires and the rubble didn't block the exit, again"
He did not want to do the parkour thru the caves again. Especially the part where he had to swim in that slimy water.
But this place looked fine, even better than the last he remembered which did surprise him but maybe it was that well built.
He looked at Altaïr's statue, not one crack showed on his whole build. The Master Mentor of all standing proudly as always, he laughed painfully. "Things were weirdly simpler back then huh... You probably would not have failed."
He pursed his lips in a thin line and turned back to the stairs to try the door. His hands found the mechanism easily enough, just as he was wondering if the mechanism inside survived the heat, the door slid open smoothly.
Way too smoothly.
The hair on his arms stood up as Desmond's eyes met with the Monteriggioni villa in the night air. No destruction in sight.
"No..."
He walked through the door as his boots met with the polished tiles underneath. His hands touched the soft fabric of the curtains. He saw the desk in the study littered with papers like someone was going to come back to it come morning.
His head turned to the right to see the codex wall... Some pages already pinned down onto the board, more than half incomplete but on the right track.
Desmond felt the sweat drip down his back, he breathed in harshly.
"What the fuck..."
He really should not have touched that devil's orb.
—-------
Once the reality actually sank in, he could not have run out of the villa faster.
He opened the window closest to him (the glass was still intact) and hopped out to the courtyard (the healthy grass under his boots squished) and booked it. He ran into the woods (there were trees!) till his breath ran out then he ran some more.
This had to be a joke, no matter what, he had to be seeing a vision or something. Maybe his bleeding hit him hard this time and he was hallucinating this whole thing... He had to be.
Desmond slowed down to stop at the forest once he came to the hill edge. He choked a shocked sob.
There in all its glory, the village of Monteriggioni stood in front of him. All the buildings standing up with no rubble nor the damage of the flare around.
The sun, like a big fuck you to him only, was making its way out of the peak of the mountains slowly as torches around the buildings were illuminating the dark roads in between houses the light had yet to reach
Desmond crouched down activating his sight. Hundreds of grey figures came into his view, many of them asleep in their bed and Desmond couldn't hold his eyes from watering. He listened intently to hear some drunkards walk the street blabbering and singing to themselves as they went home. He heard the merchants and workers shuffle around their homes getting ready for the day.
He let out a shakey breath and fisted the grass under his hand. It has been a while since he saw this...
It used to feel like such a small place when he first reached this town, the village in contrast to New York seemed like nothing…
Now, after the flare. It was insane to see this many people in one place like this again.
A boat was not going to be enough to take him back home.
—-------------------
Desmond had to be quick before the town really woke up, he was already scouting the rooftops and wires people hung their clothes on to for stuff that would suit his frame. Hopping one rooftop to another he was biting his cheek to stop himself from the slight grin that wanted to get out of him.
He had missed this.
There were no rooftops left to climb after the flare, no buildings to scale. No points to jump off of not even trees. It had all burned away and dammit his body has missed this.
He snatched a few garments that looked roughly his size from the wires he crossed by and hopped into a rooftop garden.
He needed to wipe the smirk off of his face...
He would have killed to be able to visit Ezio’s time before, to run these streets again, but now all he could think was; how fucked it was that he was finding a sliver of joy in this while people back at home were probably battling to stay alive as always.
He was supposed to lead them, he was too much of a pussy to save them all before the least he could do was rebuild them as well as he could as they have told him to.
And now he was gone. All because this time he couldn't keep his hand to himself.
He sat in the rooftop garden looking through the clothes he picked and judged their size. Truth be told at this point they were in better condition than the clothes he had on at the moment.
He took off the scarf and the threadbare jacket and sat with his hoodie on… He could not get rid of that damn thing no matter what. It had way too many memories to him, especially after the flare where it was one of the only things left from before.
He was attached to the damn thing even if it was holding together mostly with patches these days, stitches jutting out of the clean hems of the cloth where it had gotten town again and again.
He took it off but stuffed it down his backpack Rebecca had found in a surviving underground bunker and gifted it to him for his 30th birthday. It was faux leather so it would not look that much out of place he decided.
He shed his shirt and pants next, shivering from the chilly air. Quickly putting on the doublet and the vest then he fumbled with the pants for quite a while…
“I need to figure out better shoes” He had grabbed a pair he saw sitting outside on a windowsill, probably the owner had left them to dry out overnight, thinking it was high up enough for anyone to not be able to steal.
But they were too small for comfort, a week in these and his feet would be ruined. He threw on his backpack and gathered his pants, shoes and shirt in his arms. He had to burn these somewhere.
He jumped out of the garden and made his way to the outside gates before the town started its routine.
—----------
As he made it to the clearing just outside of the walls, Desmond breathed in the clean air. No smell of char reached his nose. It was wild… after twenty years of inhaling the slight burnt smell of the world, all he smelled now was the fresh air.
He found a less grassy spot and piled the clothes on, retrieved his flint from his backpack pocket.
As the fire burned the only clothes he had for a while he listened to the birds chirp. Those were gone as well, as most of the animals were. Only the ones lucky enough to be near an artifact at the time had survived. Shaun had come up with the theory.
Once again the sense of peace he felt was quickly replaced by his guilt. He rubbed his chest, it ached with every memory. He didn't deserve to see all of this. Not when he was the sole cause of that madness people back home were subjected to daily.
Twenty-plus fucking years he tried to make up for his mistake. He found whoever he could and took them back to their camp. He gathered whatever he could, and used every bit of the knowledge he gained from the apple to lead what was left into a better place, and now he was gone.
Abandoned them to their fates on a random weekday.
Because he could not keep his hands to himself.
He rose up from where he stood and kicked in the dirt to smother the ambers. Watching them sizzle down.
He had to find a way to get back… If a piece of Eden took him here, it could and should take him back.
—----
He needed to figure out what year it was first, and where Ezio was.
Not to meet him of course, If all went well he would never see the man and no one here would know he even took a step in this time.
But he needed to know where Ezio was so he could know where the apple was.
Since Monteriggioni was standing perfectly intact, it was before he embarked to Rome. The codex pages were just starting to get collected so he would have been quite young. This meant the apple was barely even on his way to Venice on a ship…
“Shit, he must be what… 25-27 at best?”
God…. Thats so young, was he even officially initiated yet? If the age he guessed is right Ezio should be in Venice, either with the thieves or the courtesans… he needed to know the date to be sure.
Ezio did not even know of the apple's existence yet probobly.
He so wished he could just go where the ship was right this very moment and get to the apple but truth be told his memory of Ezio’s life after 20 years of apocalypse wasn't too fresh on his mind… So even if he knew the date It wasn’t like he could sail on a vessel and interrupt the ship alone.
Which meant Desmond had to track the apple at the same time as Ezio.
—-------------
Desmond sat on top of one of the watchtowers near the walls, watching the town come alive as people went about their day. It was overwhelming yet he couldn't tear his eyes away.
To think he lived in one of the most populated cities before, and now seeing 500 or less people in one spot made him nauseous with awe. So many mouths to feed, so many resources to find….
He looked away,
these people weren't his commune. He wasn't responsible for them but he couldn't shut his mind up.
It felt unreal, like in any moment he was going to blink and this was going to reveal itself to be a one extreme bleeding episode.
He did still have those, but he knew they were never like this.
After decades of living with it, he knew what a bleed felt like. They rarely caught him off guard nowadays unless he was having particularly bad days.
But this wasn't one.
#title is from Kiltro-If I lead#fanfic#young ezio x older desmond so we got age gap in this#this isnt betad(as always) so it will have mistakes lmao#survival guilt is strong in this one#as always Idk if I will continue or finish it#I mostly do one shots or stand alones and this plot feels like it would be a long slow burn#but Ill try to write to the part when they meet atleast#Desmond if 42-43#Ezio is 25-27#the apple is still eighter in ottoman or on his way in a ship that will take 2 years to arrive so desmond will have to sit around for a bit#assassin's creed#ezio auditore#desmond miles#please tell me what yall think#and if anyone wants to beta#Im open to it :p but Ill most likely yolo#if I lead
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sometimes i think about how nendo, kaido, saiki, (and sometimes kuboyasu but usually only when associated with them) are canonically the losers of PK and people actively dislike them, talk bad about them, make rumors about them, etc.
#which is crazy because theyre known to be besties with teruhashi and hairo#literally like. the most popular people at school ?#which like. i also get that this is even part of the reason saiki is disliked#but people dislike and even straught up bully him even before he and teru are known to be friends#but nobody ever thinks 'hey maybe theyre chill!' since the most loved people in school love them?#im so sorry saiki lmao#idk i just feel like people dont talk enough about the fact that even though he tries his fucking best to be so average and unnoticed-#he still gets fucking BULLIED ? like that is so depressing lol#anime onlys dont get to see it as much</3#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#kaido shun#nendo riki#meows post
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Uhh something something the way armand broke out of whatever character he was doing when daniel started genuinely sobbing and breaking down something something the way armand immediately comforted older daniel when he teared up about the proposal to "alice" something something that's the love of his existence something something
#like i know he probably did that first one bc he didn't want daniel to break out of the mindset he was trying to put him in but uhhhhh#something something the way he got daniel all worked up after that still but daniel stopped sobbing for the most part (until armand left)#theres a certain type of distress armand doesnt like to see in daniel but im not totally sure what it is#armandaniel#devils minion#daniel molloy#armand#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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