#and im not going back and changing it all now

[marauder-misprint]

happy 500 followers i’m so happy for you!!

can you write 62 for the dialogue prompt with remus? maybe she’s james’ sister and a flirt just like him. bc jealous rem ✅✅ they’re dumb for each other but sooo oblivious

Thank you for the request ❤︎

I definitely had a moment writing where I was laughing to myself. You flirt with Remus for years: James has no problem. You say one flirtatious line to Sirius: James asks what's wrong with you.

What you need

Remus Lupin x Potter!reader

2.9k words

cw: fluff, mutual pining, angst

You and James were dual threats. Quidditch stars, academic weapons when you chose to be, friendly, attractive and flirtatious. He had his sights set on Lily and you had yours on Remus. Your methods, however, differed. While James showered Lily with compliments and asked her out daily, you had a more gentle approach. You were drawn to Remus, plenty happy to just sit in his presence. You showered him with compliments as well and made him the center of your world, but you felt that, like Lily, he didn’t reciprocate your feelings. 

You didn’t let it deter you though. You knew he was more reserved than the rest of the Marauders. You decided you would play the long game and wait. He would ask you out. Eventually. 

You collapsed next to Remus on the couch in the common room with an exaggerated sigh. You leaned your head on his shoulder to see what book he was reading.

“The various color changes in the wiggenweld brewing process are essential to the process and without them, the potion will be rendered useless. Substitutions, while appropriate in other potions, will drastically reduce the effectiveness,” you read over his shoulder. “Merlin, Moony, what are you reading? I know Slug didn’t assign this.”

“Just reading up on healing potions. Never know when you’ll need one,” he said.

You hummed and adjusted your body so you were closer to him. 

“Must be something more interesting going on now, though, right?”

“Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail all have detention.”

“I know,” you laughed. “Maybe we could do something! You know, just the two of us!”

You tried to not sound too excited at the idea. It was a rare opportunity that the other three had detention while you and Remus got off scot-free. 

“Oh, well, I was planning on reading…”

“You could read out loud?” you suggested, desperate for some attention from him. “Maybe I’d learn something.”

“No good at reading out loud,” he mumbled.

“It’d be good practice, Moons. You know I won’t judge. Plus, you have a nice voice.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his face turn a pink hue. You nudged him gently. 

“Come on, read to me,” you sang softly. 

Remus, feeling flustered, stood up.

“Please excuse me,” he said, leaving you on the couch alone.

You watched him retreat to his dorm with a frown on your face. Once again, it hadn’t gone as you had hoped. This wasn’t the first time you had alone time with Remus and he left just after you made him blush. You grumpily moved over into the spot he previously occupied. It was warm and faintly smelled of him; it was the second best thing right now. 

It didn’t take long before Lily sat down in the squashy armchair near you. 

“Why the long face Potter?” she asked. “Missing brother dearest and the troubled gang?” 

You made a face at her, earning you a laugh. Oh, how James would’ve smiled and stared if he were here. 

“They aren’t all in detention, Lils,” you told her.

“Well, you’re not. That would be at least one.”

“Ha,” you said dryly. “No, um, Remus is upstairs. Reading.”

“Huh. Doesn’t he usually read down here when they aren’t around?”

“Mhmm.” You took a deep breath. “He was for a bit.”

Lily nodded. “You’re in his spot, aren’t you?”

“Maybeeee,” you replied quietly, turning your face to look at the fire. “Smells like ‘im,” you added in a mumble.

She laughed again. “Potter, you’re doomed.”

You looked back at her so she could see you roll your eyes and then you returned your gaze to the flames. You knew you were doomed. You would follow Remus to the ends of the earth. You sat next to him whenever you could. You knew how he liked his tea and which quill was his favorite. You knew his ranking of tables in the library, the ones best for studying alone, studying in a group and prank planning. You knew which sweater was the comfiest because he wore it after every full moon. You adored him and he couldn’t seem to stand to be alone with you for more than a few minutes. 

“So, what’d you say to him?”

“What?” Your head snapped back to Lily.

“He was reading in that spot and now he’s not. What made him go upstairs?”

“I asked him to read to me.”

“That all?” 

You nodded, with a confused look on your face. If Lily thought it would’ve taken more to chase Remus away, perhaps something was up with Remus that you didn’t know about.

“Bit strange. I thought he would read to you,” she said lightly. Then she pulled out her own book and waved it in front of your face. “I could read to you if you want.”

“Not the same and you know it. But, if I were James…” you teased. 

“If you were James, I’d be up in our dorm avoiding him.”

Like Remus is doing…

“You read. In your head. I’m going to the pitch... I need air.”

---

When you went to the pitch alone, you used it as a time to think, to clear your head. Did you need to practice because Gryffindor was playing Slytherin this week? Yes. But you also need to think. You’ve loved Remus for years and, well, something clicked while you were flying. He just didn’t like you that way and you had to make your peace with that. 

You started small. You didn’t sit next to Remus at breakfast although you still had his tea ready for him when he arrived at the table. A look of confusion passed over his face when he saw you sitting between Sirius and Mary. He didn’t say anything about it, nor did anyone else. 

Your next step was more direct. You sat next to Otto Bagman in your first class instead of Lily. That caught the eye of some people. Even more so when you let your hand linger on his shoulder longer than you should have and flashed him your brilliant smile. You laughed loudly at his lackluster jokes. 

During the next class, you chose Stubby Boardman. And Gildeory Lockhart in the next. And Gideon Prewett. And Bertram Aubrey. Each got your flirtatious treatment. None made you feel like Remus did, but it was nice to have their attention. 

At dinner, you pulled a move that none of them were expecting. You sat between Sirius and Mary like you had at breakfast. But you sat closer to Sirius than you usually did. It was a closeness you reserved solely for Remus. 

The boys were discussing their next prank and determined that they would need to sneak into Slughorn’s private stores first in order to pull it off.

“I think Sirius should be the distraction. He’s got something super captivating about him, don’t cha think?” you said, leaning forward a bit. 

You flashed him a soft smile as you rested your hand on his shoulder. If you hadn’t been looking at Sirius, you would’ve seen the glares that he immediately received from both James and Remus. 

“Don’t know if Slug is particularly captivated by me, love,” Sirius said, looking down at you and matching your soft smile. Then a wicked glint appeared in his eyes as he turned back to the boys. “But, running in yelling about an exploding potion down the corridor? See how fast the old man can run!” 

James’ expression changed in a flash. He slammed his hand down on the table.

“Brilliant, Padfoot!” 

Remus, on the other hand, let his glare hold longer, only dropping it when Peter addressed him, asking him to repeat what they needed to get from storage. You remained close to Sirius for the rest of the meal as you offered your ideas for getting past Slughorn and for the actual prank. When you excused yourself after you finished, James followed you out of the hall and walked with you back to Gryffindor Tower.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” he asked.

“Obviously.”

“So then, what was that back there? What’s going on with you and Sirius?”

You stopped walking in shock. You spend years flirting with Remus and no comments from James, but one comment toward Sirius and now he’s suddenly concerned with your love life? James turned to fully face you and you frowned at the concern on his face.

“Nothing. There’s nothing between me and Sirius,” you said, sounding a bit incredulous. 

“Then what the bloody hell was that comment at dinner? He’s like super captivating, he he he,” he mimicked in a falsetto.

You took a calculated step toward James while reaching for your wand.

“I do not sound like that.”

“What was the comment for then?” he repeated the question for the third time. “You don’t flirt with Padfoot.” 

You clicked your tongue and rolled your eyes. 

“I had… a moment of clarity. Obviously, Moony isn’t right for me and I’ll get over him with whoever I need to.” 

You huffed before stalking away from your brother. He stood there and watched you leave, utterly shocked by what you said. Obviously was a strong word in his opinion. He thought the obvious thing was the effect you had on Remus; Remus was hopelessly in love with but too insecure to do anything and you were waiting for him to make a move. 

You continued to flirt with the boys throughout the rest of the week, with Gideon being the main recipient. Being a fellow Gryffindor and on the quidditch team gave him an easy foot up over the rest. James didn’t say anything more to you, really just being glad it wasn’t Sirius but still showing his concern nonverbally from across the room. 

When he could, Remus would find an excuse to leave whenever you were with Gideon. He couldn’t dismiss how sick it made him feel. Somehow he had been the one receiving your attention for so long that he didn’t realize how much of his day was actually spent with you around, and he didn’t realize how cold he’d feel without your warmth. Instead, he now had to watch Gideon bathe in your compliments and subtle touches. Remus hated it. 

When the weekend came, the whole school descended on the quidditch pitch for an exciting game. Gryffindor versus Slytherin always brought excitement. Every student donned either green or red, even the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. The game was a compilation of incredible plays and dirty moves. In the end, Gryffindor pulled through as your seeker caught the snitch. Usually, after a Gryffindor win, you’d search for Remus’ arms the moment you landed, but this time was different. You immediately found Gideon and let his arms be the ones to wrap around you and spin you around. He pressed a kiss to your forehead. You didn’t mind that it wasn’t Remus; it was nice to be the one receiving the doting for once. 

Gideon’s attention followed you all the way back to the common room for the party that ensued. You knew you had eyes on you - you could feel them. In the past, after a win, you’d have one drink in your hand and you’d nurse it while hanging around the outskirts of the party with Remus. You’d maybe do shots with James because no win was possible without the Potter Twins. This time, however, you were not standing around the edge of the party with Remus. Nor were you nursing a singular drink. 

You were multiple drinks in and dancing with Gideon. His hands were traveling your body and you made no moves to stop him. You just kept moving to the music and taking sips of your drink. 

Remus felt like throwing up at the sight. He had half a mind to walk up to you and tear you away from the ginger. He knew you could do better than Gideon, but if asked who, Remus would want to say himself, but was he better than Gideon? Once again, Remus let his insecurities get the best of him; he retreated to his dorm unable to watch you dance like that with another guy who wasn’t him. 

You finished your drink and felt Gideon lean into your ear. 

“Do you want to celebrate somewhere more… private?” he whispered. 

You smiled at him before saying, “Refill first!” 

James had been keeping an eye on you and Gideon for a while. He didn’t like the way that Gideon was touching you, just as much as he didn’t like how much you were drinking. You were certainly not in your right mind. He intercepted you on your way to the drink table.

“I’m cutting you off,” he said curtly before leading you to the stairs. 

You pouted but allowed yourself to be ushered up to his dorm. In your head, you planned to sneak back down to the party the instant that James left you in his dorm. Once inside, he brought over to his bed and you sat down, crossing your arms. 

“You need to sober up a bit. Um, here’s a water. You know extra blankets are in my trunk. Loo’s over there. Got your wand? Need anything else?” 

You groaned in annoyance. “I’m fine, James,” you slurred. “But you know what I actually need.”

“Hm? What’s that?”

“To get over these damn feelings for Lupin!” you basically spat. “Can’t very well do that if I’m up here, can I? He won’t ask me out, won’t kiss me, can’t stand to be around me. Why you stopping me from moving on?” 

“I-I…” he stuttered, trying not to look over at where Remus was sitting on his own bed with wide eyes. “I’m preventing you from making a decision you might regret.”

“James… James, James, James. I’m fine. Just let me get over being in love with Remus.”

James can’t help it. His eyes flickered to Remus. Yours immediately followed where his went. Remus was staring at you with a faint blush on his cheeks. Because why did you just say that you needed to get over being in love with him?

“Shit,” you muttered, falling back onto James’ bed. “Now I’ve said too much.”

“I’m… going to leave… and let you two… talk,” James said slowly, trying to sound casual and topping it off with snaps and finger guns.

“You’re… in love with me?” Remus asked nervously.

You made a noise that’s a mix of a scoff and laugh.

“Only been bloody head over heels for you for years, you twat.”

“You’ve been,” he muttered, not quite believing you. 

“A girl can only flirt so hard,” you said with a heavy sigh. 

“You were flirting?” 

“With you. For years. Keep up, Lupin.”

There was a slight pause before he said softly, “You don’t call me Lupin.”

“I didn’t when I was in love with you.” 

“Was?”

“Moony, Merlin’s fucking beard,” you exclaimed, propping yourself up on your elbows briefly. “Did you not just hear me tell James that I’m trying to get over you? You clearly don’t like me back so stop making it harder!”

You let yourself fall back onto James’ bed with a ‘humph.’ You stared up at the canopy. Then you felt the bed sink next to you and you don’t need to look over to know that Remus has joined you. 

“You actually like me?” he whispered. 

“If I have to say it one more time, I swear, Moony, I will curse-”

“You like me.” This time it was a statement. Remus doesn’t believe it yet, but he didn’t need you to finish your threat. “And it’s real. Not a prank or cruel joke or anything?”

You rolled onto your side so that you could see him.

“Stop pretending to be dense. It’s been hard enough coming to terms with you not liking me like that.”

“No!” 

You blinked at him with a confused expression.

“Um, I… I do like you. Like that.”

“Remus… don’t tease me right now. You can’t stand to be alone with me for more than a minute.”

“Because I don’t trust myself to not kiss you.” He swallowed and allowed his eyes to flick down to your lips. “It’s easier to control myself when James, or anyone else, is around. But when it’s just you and me, and you say those sweet things… I just…”

“Those sweet things,” you repeated with quiet laughter. “You mean my flirting?”

“Yes. That.”

He stopped talking for a moment. He reached out to caress your face. 

“I just thought you could do better than me.” 

You scoffed at the idea that someone was able to be better than Remus.

“But seeing you with Aubrey, Lockhart, Bagman… Prewett…” Remus sighed. “It was hell.”

“So, what you’re saying is you’d like me to keep flirting with you and only you?” you asked softly before your teasing nature returned. “I don’t know about that, Moony. I might need something in return.” 

“Anything.”

“Ask me out?”

“I… I can do that.” He cleared his throat. “Would you do me the honor of going on a date with me? Hogsmeade, next weekend?”

“Of course, you idiot,” you said before placing a quick kiss on his lips.

“Oh, and one more thing.”

You hummed.

“Never flirt with Prewett again. It was nauseating.” 

You laughed. “Just kiss me until my brother comes back, Moony.”

[gracie-eilish]

the prettiest girl in the whole wide world🥹

this was requested, thank you for the request babydoll☺️

an: this is for all the besties who are letting billies hair grow on them! while i can’t not drool over billie for long, i did in fact cut my own hair recently so that when i blow dried it, it resembled hers specifically🫣 (like i pulled up the oscar’s photo at my appt. and everything😭😂) so i too will mourn the long hair, but likeeeeeee 🤭🤭🤭 billie’s too pwetty for me to mourn for too long!

alsooooo, i’ve been yappppppping about it all weekend on here but in all seriousness, i feel like she’s just really stepping into herself and getting more comfy with that, and if her hair is helping with that, then im the happiest girl in the world for her:) as a fellow 22/23 year old figuring herself out, i feel for her🥹

warnings: reader being a bittttt dramatic, sad billie for like two seconds, allusion to smut🫣, this story is not meant to be hating on her hair‼️ it’s just meant to be silly so pls don’t take it too seriously! not a warning but claudia’s in here! i don’t see enough of her in fics, so future mrs. finneas is here today!

It had been a long night of fun and incredible performances and you and Claudia were buzzing with anticipation waiting for your lovers to come out. Being the true rockstar girlfriends you were, the two of you had been sitting together towards the back in a little VIP section with the other performers families and friends.

“They’re gonna be playing on the same stage as him,” I stated in shock as Sting continued to perform. Claudia laughed at my starstruckness in agreement. Claudia being the vet rockstar girlfriend she is was used to the frequent celebs and living legends, while you on the other hand were still a little starry eyed.

Regardless, the two of you had been having a fun evening. But as their performance drew closer, you both looked nervous. You knew why you were nervous, but why was Claudia?

As Sting himself introduced your girlfriend and her brother, the crowd erupted in cheers, making you giggle in pride as everyone loved on them.

You looked over at Claudia and smiled before turning your attention back to the stage as Billie started to speak. But something caught your eye.

“Claud what’s going on with her bangs?” You asked with a small giggle, figuring it was from your girlfriend was scootering around backstage instead of running a brush through her long hair like you usually would before her tour shows.

Claudia continued singing along, having not heard you, or so you thought. Claudia pretended not to hear because she was one of the first to see Billie earlier today after she cut her hair. She knew I would love it, I was just a little startled at sudden changes no matter how small. And I was in love with her long dark hair, and everyone knew it. I always hand a hand running though it, and I was always the one braiding it before her shows.

As Billie continued to bless the crowd with her vocals on Wildflower, I was distracted for a second by the echoing backing vocals coming from the crowd, making me a bit emotional. But my attention went right back to her hair when I looked back at Billie.

“Claudia… did she cut her hair?!” You bumped her hip and looked at her with wide eyes. She turned to face you and nodded with an ambiguous look in her eyes. Did you love it? Did you hate it? She couldn’t tell.

“When did she do that??” You asked with a giggle, and Claudia sighed out a laugh herself. Of course your first concern was with her schedule. You knew today was a busy, fast paced day and could not imagine Billie having a second to breathe let alone get her hair done.

You looked back over at the siblings as they started their next song but now all you could see was her hair. The once pin straight, long layers, were now a textured mix of waves and shorter layers, with some more framing around her face. As Billie sang her heart out, your mind was conflicted.

You loved the long shiny hair… but this new look… was also kinda hot.

Claudia looked back over at you and saw that thinking look in your eye. She threw an arm around your shoulder and shook it a bit before leaning down to giggle and say,

“It’s just hair babes. And if it makes you feel better, I have zero clue what Finneas has been doing with his lately.” That sent you into a fit of laughter, both of you doubled down cackling. You then threw your own arm around Claudia’s waist as they started “Birds of a Feather”.

“I know, I know. I’m being a little crybaby. But I’m gonna miss the blowout!” You said with a dramatic pout.

The two of you danced around, pointing at Billie and Finneas as you sang along to the infamous song, before you were being escorted backstage by your security.

Your heart was pounding. How were you going to react up close? I mean god she’s so pretty, but what about the new style? You love her always and as her girlfriend love everything she does, so this was a new feeling for you. A normal one, but new.

The two of you flopped down on some couches in her dressing room waiting for the pair to head backstage. The clock on the wall seemed to scream at you with every tick. Your leg bounced and you stomach started to hurt. Why did you feel like this??

The feeling immediately passed the second the door opened, and your pretty girl walked through with a sheepish smile on her face.

“Babyyyyy!!!!” She cried out, walking straight to you with open arms. You giggled as she smothered you in a bear hug while pressing kisses all over your face.

“Hi my love!” You said quietly, leaning back to get a good look at her.

“So.. I cut my hair today.” She said in her infamous little voice, making your nerves dissipate immediately. You sighed with a warm smile at her. Yeah, you couldn’t stay conflicted for long.

“I noticed my love,” You threaded your fingers through the layers, your smile only growing.

“You’re thinking about me at the oscar’s last year aren’t you,” Billie said with a sad smile.

“Maybe! It looked so pretty that night, can you blame me?” You giggled, but your giggles softened when Billie’s giggles didn’t match yours.

“Hey,” you said, sitting her down on the couch, Claudia and Finneas had already went back to his dressing room leaving you alone.

“How did I react when I came home from school one semester to you with blonde hair?” You asked softly.

“You said you missed my green highlighter-ness,” she said with a chuckle. Remembering how silly I was acting. “But then you told me I looked like sleeping beauty,” she said with a blush.

“And how did I react when you chopped it all off?”

“You kinda giggled in shock and pretended to be mad, but you fell asleep with your whole hand stuck in my hair, scratching my scalp.” Her smile was growing now.

“And when you took away my beloved red roots?” You said with a theatrical groan, officially getting Billie’s smile back.

“You moped around for like days about that babe,” She said with a chuckle.

“I did not!!” You softly hit her shoulder, giggling at her very true statement, knowing how much you loved the red.

As her laughter died down, you pushed her bangs out of her eyes and held her cheeks before kissing her nose.

“And what do I always tell you after all that?”

Billie flushed furiously, something only you could do and took great pride in.

“Mmmm I don’t think I remember what you told me…” She said in her little voice, looking around goofily. “I think you need to remind me.”

“Well, I have always told you, and will continue to tell you, no matter what your hair looks like, you my love *cheek kiss* are officially *other cheek kiss* the prettiest *forehead kiss* most beautiful *nose kiss* more perfect *corner of her lips* girl in the whole wide world.”

Billie’s cheeks hurt from the combined flush and from how hard she was smiling.

“So…. you like it?” She said sheepishly.

“Ok duh, you look so fucking hot. You could wear a potato sack and I’d still be on my knees.” Billie cackles at your statement, pulling you onto her lap to hug you.

“Thank you lovey. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was doing this. The opportunity was there and I’ve been wanting to try something new with my hair lately, so I went for it.”

“Baby, you don’t ever have to apologize for something like this. If it makes you happy, and makes you feel good… and it makes you look this fucking hot, I’m all for it sexy girl.” Billie smiled before leaning in to kiss you properly.

Her hand rested on your waist while the other snuck down to your ass, squeezing lightly. Your hands moved from their spot on her shoulder up to her hair, threading through the layers and pulling lightly making Billie groan into the kiss.

She pulled away with a smirk, “Oh so you really like it,” she said before pressing a kiss to your jaw.

“Mmmm hmmmmm.” You nodded biting your lip, a sparkle in your eyes.

“You wanna show me how much you like it mama?” She whispered, her other hand snaking down to your ass.

You didn’t even have to speak, just one look from you going from doe eyes to ravenous and the two of you packed up and ran out of there so fast, where you inevitably spent all night showing her how much you love it.

As the two of you laid in bed later that night, Billie had her head resting on your bare chest, her hand on your tummy. She felt your fingers playing with her hair slow down and your breathing start to even out a bit, and making her smile… and then giggle at the feeling of your hand tangled up in her hair as it always was.

an: if you couldn’t tell, it’s grown on me al lot🫣🤭 she seriously could wear a potato sack and she’d still look so beautiful🤭☺️

[azzifuddfanpage]

Paige catching Azzi masturbating and she doesn’t let it go but instead tease her and join her in helping her cum

Caught

———— thank you for the prompt!!!🫶

ALSO PLEASE GIVE ME UR FEEDBACK AND COMMENTS OR IM NOT DOING ANOTHER PROMPT TN THANK YEW

———-

3.1k words tw: smut

themes: smut like all smut good luck 👍 (hope u sluts are happy 🤷‍♀️)

———— Paige and Azzi had spent the majority of the year attached at the hip. 

When the espys rolled around and Paige had to fly out to Los Angeles, Azzi couldn’t help herself but miss her after spending almost every waking minute together.

“U really have to go?” Azzi asked, her arms connected tightly against Paige's waist, and her face nuzzled into the crook of her neck. 

Paige took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Azzi’s coconut lavender shampoo. 

“I know baby, I have to go, but it’s only for a few days, and I’ll FaceTime you every night.” 

“Better be everyday too.” Azzi pouted. 

Paige's heart warmed seeing her girl all clingy to her, and she tightened her grip around her.

As happy and blessed she was to be given this opportunity, she was sad she couldn’t have her best friend/ girlfriend beside her.

———

Seeing Paige in the suit, her hair pulled back into the low messy bun, her eyes sparkling under the spotlight. Azzi couldn’t hide the nagging heat between her thighs that was desperate to be settled.

Paige was originally supposed to come home 2 days after the espys.

The first day after was filled with parties, and then the second day she had to meet with someone to work on her nil deal with her shoes. 

What Azzi didn’t know was that Paige had changed her flight, and instead of flying out that next morning, she would fly out that afternoon. 

———

Azzi on the other hand had more important things to worry about, more specifically, the evolving heat in her core that had been growing since the day Paige left.

She tried to ignore it, she tried to distract herself by watching frozen (5 times), working on extra skills in the gym (even though there was only so much she could do since her last injury), or even learning how to make baked Mac and cheese from scratch (one of paige’s favorites), but none of it seemed to scratch the itch that was so badly limiting her.

She knew she wouldn’t be able to skip out on watching the espys that night.

So when she clicked on the tv and saw the way Paige's fingers wrapped around the mic, she was already very fragile.

Somehow she managed to hold off that entire night and into the next day.

She continued to keep herself busy like she had done before, going to rehab, focusing on the summer classes she had taken to work through her masters, but by the time that evening rolled around and she opened TikTok she knew she was screwed.

The first video on her for you page was an edit of Paige in her espys fit.

Azzi’s eyes glazed over as she saw the way Paige's nimble fingers grasped the microphone, the level of confidence seeping out of her as she spoke. But what did it for her most was the way her veins popped in her arms the same way they did when her fingers were thrusting in and out of Azzi’s lower stomach, desperate to please her.

Azzi looked at her phone, the ache in her stomach too strong to ignore, she moved her fingers down to her waist band and slipped them into her panties, her clit already sensitive  to the touch as she rubbed against it, collecting her stick from the entrance of her hole.

She moaned at the contact, her eyes focusing on the video of Paige, her Paige, she imagined her fingers were Paige's needy long fingers that could never stay off Azzi.

Azzi didn’t even feel embarrassed at this point, it wasn’t like she had never done it before, when they had been long distance before they had to use similar methods, but now, she wasn’t used to this.

The feeling of her own fingers against her skin, would never match Paige's.

Paige knew her body better then she did, knew what made her whimper, what made her legs shake, what made her white syrup spill as Paige thrusted against her g spot.

As Azzi slugged off her shorts and began to lazily fuck her fingers into herself, she could already feel a release brewing, but it wasn’t the same. She felt as though the release she had was bottled up for so long that it was stuck. 

Azzi fucked herself, transitioning between thrusts in and out of herself, to soft rubs and aggressive rubs on her clit, she went back and forth with this for a while, her orgasim remaining close but still so far.

Azzi let out a frustrated moan, her focus going back to the video, pretending her fingers were Paige's, persistent and begging to be swallowed by Azzi’s needy pussy.

Azzi threw her head back moaning Paige's name.

——-

Paige was honestly tired from her long day of flying, but after 3 days without seeing Azzi, she too not only missed her emotionally, but she also had an ache between her legs that only a curly haired brunette guard from UConn could cure.

Paige walked into the suite and was met with an overwhelming layer of silence. 

She wanted to surprise Azzi. 

When Paige finally pushed open the door, she saw Azzi’s legs spread open, her fingers desperately against herself.

Paige felt her knees buckle at the sight.

The way Azzi was folded over, her body spread out on the bed, a bead of sweat running down her forehead. 

She watched as Azzi’s fingers dip lazily into her hole. 

Paige continued standing there, her eyes unable to leave her girlfriend's vulnerable frame. 

Azzi threw her head back- eyes still shut- as she moaned.

“Paige.” Azzi whimpered, her phone still lying forgotten in front of her. 

Paige smirked hearing Azzi’s breathy whimper of her name.

“Not even locking the door first damn az.” Paige finally spoke, breaking the silence.

Azzi let out a yelp, jumping at the sudden unexpected presence in her room.

Pulling out her fingers she threw the blanket over her.

“JESUS PAIGE WHAT THE FUCK” Azzi said a little out of breath from how startled she was.

“you actually just scared the living fuck out of me.” Azzi continued rubbing her face with her hand (not the one that was just inside of her) 

“Ya literally” Paige snorted, walking closer to her and pulling down the sheets exposing Azzi’s naked frame.

Her nipples were hard from the cold air, and Paige could see how wet she was under the light.

“Really couldn’t wait for me, could you baby?” Paige said, running her finger along Azzi’s abs.

Azzi shuddered under her contact, shaking her head embarrassed.

“I tried- just missed you badly.” Azzi said ashamed, her eyes subconsciously darting to her phone.

Paige looked at Azzi’s phone and then back at her. Both their eyes darted back and forth.

Paige lunged for the phone at the same time as Azzi, beating her there.

Flipping it over she unlocked it and smirked when she saw the edit of her playing on the screen.

Azzi threw a hand to cover her face.

“I’m never gonna hear the end of this am I?” Azzi asked, burying her face in the pillow. 

“Not if you want me to help you baby.” Paige says, putting down her phone with a smirk. 

She pulled Azzi's hand away from her face, using her fingers to tilt her chin towards her. 

“Missed this pretty face so much.” Paige whispered, leaning forward and climbing onto the bed so she was now hovering over Azzi. 

Paige ran her hand along Azzi’s neck, moving it up and tracing along her jaw.

She leaned forward and placed a soft open mouth kiss on the soft skin under her ear.

Azzi let out a whimper, her hips wiggling as Paige adjusted her position, her legs straddling either side of her. 

“So needy baby.” Paige whispered as she sucked a little on Azzi’s skin, releasing it and licking over the reddened skin with her tongue. 

“Please.” Azzi moaned as Paige's tongue licked at her lip, dipping inside.

Paige pulled her tongue away, sitting up slightly so she could look at Azzi’s desperate state underneath her.

“Tell me how much better I am at fucking you.” Paige whispered, as she watched Azzi’s lips pucker in the air, reaching out for Paige's. 

Azzi’s eyes opened as she pouted.

Paige laughed, her finger tugging at her puffy bottom lip. 

“Do u want me to help you finish or should I just let you finish yourself off.” Paige said simply, her finger running back down and connecting with her neck as Paige's lips connected back to Azzi’s.

As their tongues massaged against each other, Paige smirked against her.

Paige softly bit against Azzi’s lip, tugging at it and listening to the soft sigh that left her.

When she finally sat up, Azzi whined. 

“Paigeee.” She whined.

“Fine if your gonna be difficult, you’re gonna keep fucking your sled and we’ll see how far you get.” Paige decided, sliding backwards off Azzi’s bed, and facing her.

Azzi’s face turned red as she watched Paige needily stare at her throbbing pussy. 

“Don’t be shy now baby- all u have to tell me is how much better I am at making you finish.” Paige said with a smirk, her eyes running over her folds. 

Azzi, being the stubborn person she was, refused to let Paige win this.

She rolled her eyes and moved her fingers back down to her pussy, running them through the wetness that had collected near her hole.

She moaned at the much needed contact, and began to rub her fingers in small circles over her clit.

“Look at me while you do it.” Paige said her voice was soft but firm.

Azzi looked up at her slowly, her breath shakily.

When her eyes met Paige's, and she saw how dilated they were-drunk on the sight of her pussy, she almost came right from that.

“You know if I was touching you right now, I would have had you cum by now.” She said confidently, smirking as she watched Azzi crumble under her eye contact.

Azzi blushed even more, looking away from Paige and focusing back on pleasing herself.

Her fingers moved away from her clit, traveling down and dipping into her entrance. 

She inserted two of them gently, thrusting and curling them against herself.

She let out a seductive moan that sent shivers down Paige's spine.

Paige wanted nothing more than to shove Azzi’s hand aside and take her right there, but she was also stubborn.

She watched helplessly as Azzi’s fingers curled into her pussy, thrusting them in and out, speeding up.

Azzi moaned, sitting up on her elbow to give herself a better angle.

As much as Azzi didn’t want to give in, she knew she wouldn’t even have to. She knew paige. 

If Paige wanted to eat, she would eat.

Azzi looked up at her, “Paige.” She moaned, staring at her intently until Paige's eyes- that were entranced by her fingers- found hers.

“Fuck it.” Paige said practically jumping on her, ripping her hand away from herself and diving her mouth into Azzi’s pussy. 

Azzi let out a laugh as Paige tongue tickled her inner thigh.

“Fucking always get ur way don’t u princess.” Paige said as her tongue ran against Azzi’s wetness, spreading it across her pussy.

Azzi moaned loudly, her hand coming and wrapping in Paige's hair tugging her closer to her core.

Paige dipped her tongue into her whole, thrusting it in a couple times as her finger played with her clit.

Azzi let out a whine, needing more stimulation.

Paige brought her tongue up to her clit, exchanging the pressure of her tongue, for her pressure of her fingers, now filling her.

As Paige sucked and pulled on Azzi’s clit, her 3 fingers went to work, thrusting in and out.

Azzi, who had already gotten herself very close before, was now gripping at Paige's scalp, Paige's fingers slamming against her walls.

“Fuck P.” She moaned as paige lapped at her clit. 

Azzi adjusted her position, sitting up on her elbows to watch her as her fingers stilled inside her.

Feeling Azzi’s eyes on her, Paige looked up, still pulling on her clit. 

The sight of Paige's big blue eyes completely drunk off her pussy, the feeling of her fingers thrusting back into her, and her tongue flicking at her clit, was all too much for her.

“Fuck paige I’m gonna cum.” 

Paige smirked as she could feel Azzi’s legs shake.

Her fingers stilted inside her, and she lifted her head to her ear, letting her lips tickle it.

“Tell me how good I am to you.” She paused, pressing her lips to Azzi’s ear. Azzi moaned, the throbbing between her legs, too much for her to take.

“Fuck need you to fuck me paige please.” She whined, giving in as Paige sucked at her neck. 

“Tell me how much better I am at fucking you.” She whispered, her tongue soothing the now purple skin.

Paige moaned into her ear and Azzi caved, “fuck you know my body so well baby. You’re so good, please continue.” Azzi whispered, her hips thrusting up to get some type of friction.

“If you insist.” Paige winked, her three fingers diving back down and fucking into her. 

Azzi moaned, her abs flexing as she hunched over from the pressure of Paige's fingers hitting at her walls.

Azzi moaned, and Paige's fingers dove deeper inside.

Paige’s other hand grabbed Azzi’s stomach, pressing on it to stabilize herself.

Azzi felt her finger brush her g spot, and the band in her stomach snap.

Paige lowered herself down so she was angled at her pussy as she could hear her fingers squelching as Azzi released.

She drank up every bit of liquid that spilled from Azzi’s cunt.

“tastes so good, baby.” “Missed her so bad.” She said as she pulled out her fingers, letting more of Azzi’s cum spill out of her.

Azzi was a pile of moans, and Paige eventually pulled away from her cunt, climbing back up to connect with Azzi’s lips, letting her taste herself.

Paige swallowed Azzi’s moans as their tongues fought together.

After Azzi had caught her breath, she pulled Paige away from her.

“Hey just cuz I gave in and let you fuck me doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own.” Azzi assured, her eyes finding Paige's. 

“Whatever you say baby.” Paige said, snuggling herself into the crook of Azzi’s  arm.

“Wait no.” Azzi said, pushing her off of her.

Paige's head fell onto the bed. 

“What are you talking about Azzi?” Paige sighed.

Azzi climbed on top of Paige so she was straddling her.

“Why don’t you think I could fuck myself as good as you do?” Azzi asked, holding Paige's arms down so she couldn't resist her.

“Nah I know u could, I’m just better.” She replied cheesing. 

Azzi teasingly shoved her face away. 

“Ya we’ll see about that.” Azzi said as Paige's face contorted into a confused look.

Azzi pulled up Paige's shirt, placing soft kisses above her sports bra. 

Paige moaned as her teeth nipped gently at her skin. 

Azzi pulled down her bra, exposing her hardened nipples.

Azzi looked up to find Paige already looking at her with big needy eyes.

Without looking away, Azzi leaned down and wrapped her mouth around Paige's nipple, pulling on it and releasing it with a pop.

She watched as Paige moaned, throwing her head back.

Azzi smirked as she left her bra up, keeping her tits out as she trailed down to Paige's waist band.

“Lift up for me baby.” Azzi said as she dipped her fingers into the band of her sweats.

Paige lifted her hips so Azzi could pull off her sweats.

Azzi threw them behind her, leaning down to level herself with Paige's pussy that was still covered by her boxers.

Azzi ran a finger over her clothes pussy feeling the slick through it. 

“God Azzi.” Paige whimpered as Azzi pulled down her boxers too.

“Need you so bad princess.” Paige said, tangling her fingers in Azzi’s curls pulling her mouth towards her slick.

“Oh is that right?” Azzi said, her breath hitting against Paige's wet clit, sending a shiver through her body.

Paige whined at the feeling against her slick. 

She nodded, but Azzi wasn’t satisfied.

“Well maybe u should just fuck yourself since you’re so much better than me.” Azzi teased, running her fingers on her inner thigh, dangerously close to her aching clit.

“Bruh come on you know I didn’t mean it baby.” Paige whimpered as Azzi’s fingers traced over the sensitive bundle of nerves.  

“Maybe but I want you to tell me.” She whispered seductively, triggering a submissive reaction in Paige's body.

“Need your pretty fingers so bad sweet girl.” Paige moaned.

Azzi could have cum again just from Paige's words, instead she licked a long stripe up her pussy, rewarding her for good behavior.

Paige moaned, shifting her body so her hips were elevated and pressing into Azzi’s mouth. 

Azzi switched to kitten licks against her clit, motivated by her words.

“Such a good girl- doing me so well.” Paige moaned, running her fingers through Azzi’s curls, pulling them back and away from her face.

Azzi sucked on her clit, and her fingers ran through her wetness, dipping into her hole.

“Please baby- need you so bad pretty.” Paige moaned as her fingers inched deeper into her slowly.

Azzi felt Paige's breath shift underneath her.

“Ya you like that don’t you. Just love fucking this pussy huh baby?” Paige growled.

Azzi didn’t answer, instead she responded by thrusting her fingers deeper into Paige's pussy, thrusting them in and out.

Paige groaned, her hand pushing Azzi’s head into her pussy so she was sucking on it harder.

“Right there fuck baby you’re so good.” Paige moaned as Azzi’s fingers pounded against her g spot.

Azzi smirked against her clit, Paige's hand directing her movements so her tongue was now rubbing up and down against it.

With her fingers still fucking deep inside her walls, and her tongue sucking and lapping at her clit, paige could feel the orgasm closing in on her. 

“Gonna cum baby…fuck.” Paige moaned, her legs shaking around Azzi's body.

Azzi wrapped her arms around Paige's thighs, pulling her so she was closer to her.

Azzi sat up a little, pulling paige into her lap to change her angle, fucking her fingers deeper inside her, letting paige’s moans fill the air. 

Paige moaned loudly as Azzi’s teeth grazed her sensitive clit.

Before she could even realize what was happening, her cum was pouring out of her and Azzi was greedily drinking it up.

Paige was still out of breath as Azzi rode out her high.

“You like the way I taste mama. you’re so perfect. Such a good girl eating me so well.” Paige says as she pulled a strand of Azzi’s curls out of her face and pulled it behind Azzi’s ear.

Azzi continued to fuck her through her high until paige was physically pushing her away and pulling her up so she was laying her on her stomach. 

“You did so good pretty.” Paige whispered again to Azzi's cheek as she rubbed small circles against her bare skin.

Azzi sighed contently as she nuzzled deeper into Paige's chest, letting the warmth of Paige's skin surround her.

[junkpuppet225]

warning: smut, you’re responsible for the content you consume

-

It took nearly two weeks before you were alone with Daryl - by then he’d lost his nerve, keeping his head down around you once again. Carol was in the kitchen the night of your hangover offering water and ibuprofen then before long Rick showed up and pulled a reluctant Daryl away to discuss important information about the community. By the time Daryl started going out with Aaron to find more people whatever you thought may happen between the two of you was just a memory.

Until it wasn’t. The night Rick killed Pete changed everything. The night Daryl brought Morgan to Alexandria you sat staring into the bonfire while everyone gaped at the consequences of the doctors actions - the single deafening shot still ringing in your ears as Rick stands staring down the barrel of his colt python to Pete’s lifeless body. You were cold or possibly in shock, trying to push the horrid images from your mind as you focused on your shaking hands. Concerned voices were just murmurs around you as you closed your fingers into fists and tried to will the panic away, sending a single tear down your cheek as you blinked and Daryl’s handsome face came into view.

He was knelt before you - blue eyed wide and unfamiliar. You’d never seen this emotion on his face before. Daryl was afraid and that sent another surge of adrenaline through you - allowing your limbs to join in on the shaking as you placed your palm to his arm, eyes widening when he doesn’t flinch away from your touch. “You alright?”

No. You just watched a man slice through another man’s larynx then take a bullet to the dome for his trouble. Deanna is going to banish you all - send Carl and Judith back into the horrors of the world. Just when you thought you could start something important here your group would be thrown back to the dead.

“Answer me.” Daryl’s words aren’t demanding, they’re soft and pleading as another tear betrays you. “Y-yeah. Im okay. Are you okay?” You’d seen Rick kill people before - that wasn’t anything new but this look on Daryl’s face, the disparity swimming in his ocean eyes makes it hard to breathe. “I am now.” He whispers offering his hand as he lifts you to your feet and holds you close to his side. Rick is trying to explain himself to Morgan and the others while the rest of the group share your worried glances that all of this will soon be taken away.

“Come with me?” You look up to Daryl’s soft words and nod without thinking. You would go anywhere with him, especially if it’s somewhere away from this nightmare. He slips his warm hand in yours, his palm searing against your icy fingers as he guides you silently to the house Deanna gifted your group weeks ago. Daryl doesn’t speak until you’re standing in the darkness of the kitchen, your hand still held tightly in his as the other comes up to cup your cheek - brushing his thumb against your jaw as he searches your eyes.

The raw emotion in his gaze tightens something in your chest, bringing your hand to his bicep as you try to steady yourself and make sense of what has him so upset. Daryl’s always been brave but standing here in the shadows he looks truly terrified.

“We almost died out there today.” The words come rushing from his lungs as he shakes the thought for the millionth time and lets his head hang, pulling you closer as he drops your hand to grasp your hip. “…if it wasn’t for Morgan…” Tears blur your vision at the thought of losing him, your breath catching in your throat as his words turn into soft whispers. “…never gettin’ to see you again - never… touchin’ you again.” Daryl sinks a hand into your soft hair and brings your face to his, bringing your foreheads together as his eyes close tightly. “…scares the shit outta me.”

Slowly you bring your hands to his neck before slipping them into the back of his hair as a low desperate groan escapes him and he lifts his eyes to yours - grasping at your hip as he pulls you flush against his chest and leans into your parted lips, kissing you slowly.

Everything but Daryl melts away. The worry of losing this place - of losing this, it slips into the deepest parts of your mind and there’s just him kissing you like his very life depends on it. His rough hand slipping into your shirt to grasp at your soft skin as his tongue moves against yours slowly, your quiet gasps stirring something deep inside of him.

His hand moves further up your shirt before he hesitates just below your breast as you whisper against his lips to please touch you. The growl that leaves him vibrates in your chest as his fingers brush against the rough texture of your bra before moving on to join his other hand in your hair.

The terror in Daryl’s eyes shift, still lingering in their depths but somehow shadowed by white-hot desire that takes your breath away. “Daryl?” His own breath hitch’s as your lips graze his. “Y-yeah?” The word is barely audible. “Do you want me?” You watch his eyes fall to your mouth with a grunt that sounds like a yes.

“Show me?”

Daryl lifts you to the counter with ease while your arms wrap around his shoulders and he pulls you to his chest - his kiss more desperate as you tighten your fingers in his hair. Your heart is hammering in your chest, fear that someone from your group is going to burst through the front door and demand Daryl’s attention pulls you away from him. “Take me upstairs?” You whisper as another growl escapes him and he pulls you closer to his chest - turning to the stairs as your legs wrap around him - his mouth finding yours as you rake your fingers into his hair and cling to him. He doesn’t stop until you’re lying on his bed and he’s looking down at you with that terror in his eyes again.

I can’t lose you too.

“Daryl…, it’s okay. I want this… want you.”

In a hundred years he’ll never understand what he did to deserve you - to deserve this but the thought of denying you anything sends a different kind of ache through his chest so he kisses you, sinking his body into yours as you grasp at his waist to push his shirt over his head - letting your hands fall to his back as he takes in a quick breath, his body going rigid from your touch.

Daryl lifts his head slowly as your fingers trace the raised lines across his back, your eyebrows pulling together in concern. “Daryl…?”

“It’s okay.” He whispers holding his breath as you return your fingers to his hair while his teeth graze your jugular. “…happened a long time ago.” That doesn’t ease the ache seeping into your bones from the thought of something hurting him but his tongue against your skin blurs the line of pain and pleasure.

“Daryl.” His name slips quietly from your lips bringing another low growl against your skin as he pushes your own shirt over your head before dipping his between the valley of your breasts - placing a line of kisses down your torso as a gasp escapes you. Daryl groans out your name, griping at your hips to tug your shorts down your thighs. You arch your back to him as his mouth finds yours - like he can’t stop kissing you but is desperate to be inside of you - his head hanging to watch you undo his belt. “A-are you sure?” He whispers, lifting his eyes to yours slowly.

“Yes.” He’s kissing you again, sinking his hands into your hair as you grip his sides while he pushes inside of you resting his forehead against yours with a whimper. “Y/N…, feels…” Your eyes meet - his gaze sobering as he whispers how good you feel around him with each thrust, his arm sliding under your back to bring you closer. The soft moans and quiet gasps that fill his head pushing him further, fucking into you harder as his own groans fill the room.

“…oh god, Daryl…” Your body is humming with pleasure, fingers gripping his shoulders as he pours years of need into fucking you, lifting his head slightly as his name falls from your desperate lips again as your body tightens around him. “…fuck…, that’s it… gonna make me…” You grip the back of Daryl’s hair, pulling hard as he groans against your throat - moving faster as stars dot your vision and you feel yourself come undone around him - leaning into his shoulder with a cry as his grunts turn to whimpers and he loses himself inside of you, gripping your hips so hard you know he’ll leave bruises in their wake. All you can hear is the pounding of your heart in your chest and his heavy breathing as he buries his face in the bend of your shoulder.

“W-was that okay? Did I hurt ya?”

Daryl lifts his head quickly - searching your cock drunk gaze as a lazy smile spreads across your beautiful face. “It was beautiful.” You assure him softly as his own rare grin lights up his ocean eyes. “You’re beautiful.” You watch his eyes go wide as the words slip from his lips quickly, a warmth spreading through you at the slight rush of pink that creeps up his neck and into his cheeks as you card your fingers through the back of his hair.

[daryltwdixon]

Joel Miller x Reader Just Coffee

fluffy Joel drabble to help clear my head. I was a barista for 8+ years and loved my regulars, so this is like a little slice of my life when I worked for a family owned coffee shop in the downtown of a city. Hope you enjoy! lmk if you want a ptII cause im thinking hot car sex w these two after their first date.

Inspired by that tlou (game) scene where Ellie asks if Joel used to go to coffee shops, and he admits, ‘All the time.’ And when she asks what he would order, he says, ‘Coffee, just coffee’ 

Vanilla latte, iced—extra pump of vanilla, three pumps of caramel, swirl, whipped cream. Chai latte, soy milk—hot, extra hot. Cold brew with sweet cream, shot of peppermint. London Fog—extra foamy, not too hot.

"Coffee. Just coffee."

You could’ve kissed him right then and there. And he was handsome enough that you wouldn’t even have to close your eyes. He must’ve caught the way your shoulders relaxed, how the sigh left your body like a weight lifted.

“Comin’ right up,” you smiled, ringing him up as he slid a few ones into your very, very empty tip jar.

‘Just Coffee’ guy settled at the small bar along the window, joining the usual morning stragglers—people who took their time with their warm mugs, occasionally ordering a bagel or a scone to go with it. He sat next to your crossword regular, an older gentleman who always had a puzzle in front of him, filling in the blanks with unwavering confidence. Always pen, never pencil.

You left them to it, but your eyes drifted toward ‘Just Coffee’ now and then, making sure his mug wasn’t too low, wasn’t getting too cold.

The morning flew by in a blur of orders and chatter, the shop filling and emptying in waves. By the time you checked back on ‘Just Coffee’ guy, he was gone.

A pang of disappointment sat low in your stomach. You wished you would’ve gotten him talking—he had that air about him, the kind of presence that carried stories. The people who sat at your bar top, the ones who weren’t rushing in and out for their nine-to-five caffeine fix, were always the most interesting.

You were surprised to see him the next day. A smile lifted at his lips as he stepped up in line, cash at the ready in his large, dirt-greased hands. A man who worked manual labor, clearly.

"Coffee," he said, his twang deep and velvety. "Just coffee, miss."

"You got it," you said with a smile, handing him a warm mug of your house roast as he took his new usual seat at the bar.

"Dammit—" the man next to him muttered, scratching his chin with the tip of his pen. Steve, your crossword regular. Under his nose, the day’s puzzle sat partially filled in, his brow furrowed in frustration. “What in the hell is the ‘process of leveling or smoothing wet concrete’? Seven letters?" He called your name, exasperated. "You got any idea?”

"Steve, if I knew anything about construction, I’d be way further along on my home improvement projects," you called over the hiss of the milk frother.

"Screedin’ is the word you’re lookin’ for, I think."

‘Just Coffee’ spoke casually, like it was second nature, his voice rolling low behind the lip of his mug. Steve blinked at him, like he hadn’t even realized the man was there, his wide eyes darting between him and the crossword.

"I think that might just work! How do ya spell that now? S-C-R-E—"

"S-C-R-E-E-D-I-N-G," ‘Just Coffee’ said slowly, the drawl thick and steady as the letters tumbled off his tongue.

You smiled to yourself, glancing his way. Knew he had to be manual labor. But before you could turn and ask him about it, he was already stepping off the stool, giving a quick nod of thanks, and heading for the door.

A couple of ones landed next to his empty mug—more than the cost of his coffee.

He didn’t come the next day.

Or the day after that.

By the fourth morning, you caught yourself lingering by the bar, staring at the empty stool where he sat. The coffee shop was just as busy, orders coming in waves, regulars dropping their change into the tip jar, Steve grumbling over his crossword. But something was missing.

You’d gotten used to those hazel eyes meeting yours across the counter, the quiet weight of his presence. The way his dark, unruly hair framed his face, always a little windswept, a little messy, like he’d rolled straight out of bed and into a long shift. His hands—rough, calloused, dirt still lingering in the creases—wrapped steady around a warm coffee mug.

It had only been a handful of mornings, but somehow, he’d settled into your routine like he belonged there.

And now, the absence of him gnawed at you in a way that surprised you.

You should’ve asked him his damn name.

By the sixth day, you convinced yourself it didn’t matter. He was just another customer, just a passing figure who needed a caffeine fix before moving on. Maybe he found a different coffee spot. Maybe he’d never been the type to stick around anyway.

But on the seventh morning, as you wiped down the counter, movement by the door caught your eye.

You turned, heart kicking up against your ribs.

There he was.

Another worn flannel, same dirt-streaked hands, same heavy-lidded gaze scanning the shop like he hadn’t been gone for a week. And when those hazel eyes finally landed on you, a flicker of something warm and familiar crossed his face.

You pushed off the counter before you could stop yourself.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” you said, trying to sound casual, but you knew he could hear the lilt of amusement in your voice.

“How are ya, miss?” he drawled, stepping up to the counter, cash already in hand. “Been busy.”

You nodded, trying not to stare too long at the way his fingers curled around the worn bills. “Let me guess—coffee, just coffee?”

He huffed a quiet laugh. “You got it.”

As you poured, you finally asked the question that had been itching at you since the first day he walked in.

“You got a name, or am I just supposed to keep callin’ you ‘Just Coffee’ forever?”

He smirked, tilting his head slightly as he watched you.

“Joel,” he said.

You smiled, setting his mug down in front of him. “Well, Joel—hope you don’t disappear on me again.”

His fingers brushed the warm ceramic as he settled onto his usual stool. “Jobs come and go, just depends on the day, hunny.”

Hunny. It was damn near like honey dripping from his tongue in that slow drawl, thick and warm. The way it rolled off his lips curled low in your belly, heating your cheeks as you turned to the next customer, hoping to God he didn’t notice.

The middle of the week was always slow, which worked in your favor today. By the time the morning rush faded, you found yourself wiping down the counters, clearing dishes near the bar, and finally getting the chance to ask Joel about his life.

You rinsed out a mug, letting the warm water run over your fingers as you glanced toward him. He was nursing his coffee slow, one hand wrapped around the mug, the other resting loose on the bar. His posture was easy, relaxed, but you could tell there was something there, something deep in his bones that he carried.

"So, what kinda jobs come and go?" you asked, keeping your tone light.

Joel glanced up from his mug, considering you for a moment. “Construction, mostly," he said, rolling his shoulders like the very word made them ache. "Been a contractor for years—fixin' up places, layin’ concrete, buildin’ what needs buildin'.”

Figures. Those arms—strong, steady—the kind that looked like they knew the weight of real work. His hands were large, rough and calloused, the kind you’d feel long after they touched you. But, Joel was a customer. You weren’t thinking that, of course not.

"Guess that explains why you knew the crossword answer last week," you teased, tossing the rag over your shoulder. "Steve still talks about it like you pulled magic outta thin air."

Joel huffed, shaking his head. "Man’s usin’ a pen for a crossword, and I’m the one impressin’ him?"

You grinned, leaning against the bar. "Hey, knowledge is power around here, Joel."

He let out a quiet hmm and took another sip of his coffee.

Before you could press further, the bell above the door jingled, and you got up hastily to take the newcomer’s order.

“Don’t worry about him,” Joel called over, sitting up straighter, setting down his coffee mug as his gaze flicked toward the man.

He stepped inside, his dark hair long, face clean-shaven, dimples deepening as he took in the scene. Something unspoken passed between the two of them—something that made it hard to tell if they were coworkers, friends, or something else entirely.

Then the man clapped Joel on the shoulder, grinning wide, “So this is what you’ve been ditchin’ the mornin’ crew for, huh, big brother?”

Your brows lifted. Brother.

Joel exhaled hard through his nose, eyes narrowing with obvious irritation, but his posture remained loose—like he was used to this, used to him.

“What ya got for me, Tommy?” he asked.

You barely had a second to process before Tommy’s attention shifted to you. His gaze swept over you, warm and playful, before he leaned a little too comfortably against the bar, ignoring his brother.

“Well now,” he drawled, flashing you a grin that could probably talk its way out of a speeding ticket, “if I knew this was the kinda place Joel was sneakin’ off to, I would’ve tagged along a whole lot sooner.”

Joel muttered something under his breath and rubbed his forehead.

You crossed your arms, biting back a smile. “And here I thought he just liked my coffee.”

Tommy let out a low chuckle, tilting his head. “Can’t say I blame him, darlin’.”

Joel let out a long, long sigh, already done with whatever this was turning into. He stood, tugging his jacket over his broad shoulders before clapping a firm hand on Tommy’s back—firm like a warning.

“C’mon,” Joel muttered, steering him toward the door.

Tommy let himself be dragged, but not without a final wink in your direction. “I’ll be seein’ you around, sweetheart.”

You couldn’t help the giggle that slipped past your lips as Joel shoved him out the door with far more force than necessary, the bell jingling wildly as they disappeared outside.

Joel glanced back once, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe the last two minutes of his life before heading off into the distance.

You just smiled, shrugging as you wiped down the counter.

But things changed after that morning.

Tommy only needed to step through the damn door before Joel was tensing at the bar, a muscle twitching in his jaw, his coffee suddenly the least interesting thing in the room. He continued to show up every morning, still ordered just coffee, still sat in his usual spot—but now, his eyes lingered on you more.

And now, he stayed just a little longer.

Not by much, not enough for anyone else to notice, but you did.

You noticed how his gaze flicked toward you between sips, how his fingers tapped idly against his mug whenever you laughed at something a customer said.

His brother joined him more too. You noticed the way he cut Tommy off real quick anytime his brother got a little too comfortable leaning against the counter, that exasperated “Tommy” carrying a warning underneath it.

And you noticed how his tips got just a little bigger after that morning, a couple extra bills tucked under his mug like an unspoken thank you.

So when a week passed—no sign of Tommy this time, no interruptions, just Joel sitting at your bar—you wondered if today might be different.

And it was.

Because today, as you cleared a dish from the counter, Joel cleared his throat. Not the casual kind, not the I’m just readjusting in my seat kind.

The nervous kind.

You glanced up, brows lifting. “What’s eatin’ ya, Joel?”

Joel exhaled sharply, shifting in his seat. “Yeah. Just—uh.” He scratched at the back of his neck, avoiding your eyes. “You, uh… ever eat anywhere that ain’t this place?”

Your lips twitched. “You askin’ if I leave my own coffee shop, Joel?”

His jaw tightened, clearly close to regretting whatever he was doing, but he powered through.

“I’m askin’ if you’d wanna get somethin’ to eat. When your shift is done.” He finally met your gaze, voice a little gruffer than usual, but there was something hesitant in his expression—like he was braced for you to shut him down, “With me.”

You leaned back against the counter, arms crossing as you took your time, letting him sit in it for a second. Watching the way his fingers curled around his coffee mug, how he resisted the urge to shift under your gaze.

Then you smiled. “Are you asking me out?”

His eyes flicked away, like he really hated how direct you were, but you could see the tips of his ears turning pink.

“Yeah,” he muttered. Then, after a pause—“That…a problem?”

You bit your lip, shaking your head. “Not at all.”

Joel’s fingers flexed against his mug. “Good.”

You grabbed a napkin and a pen, scribbling something before sliding it across the counter. “Then you’re gonna need my number.”

He eyed it, then you, something unreadable in his gaze before he finally, finally reached for it. His fingers brushed yours as he folded the napkin, tucking it into his pocket without another word.But you swore—swore—you saw the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he took another slow sip of his coffee.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Ive seen things where people have kids who are dark haired and eyed at birth and turn light haired and eyes when they get older or vice versa.

I headcanon Janet with blonde hair and green eyes and Jack with black hair blue eyes.

Im using this on Tim.

Tim was born with blonde hair green eyes and looked like Jack as a baby, but when he got older, around 4ish, he turned black haired and blue eyed and started looking like Janet.

His parents were both in a love hate relationship with this change. On one hand they want him to have their colors and look like them...

On the other hand they miss when he used to look like the other parent.

Just imagine:

Tim going through old pictures in his gazillion boxes of pictures, the family is helping him.

"Who's this baby? Steph's?"

Someone asks. They look over to see Duke holding a photo of a blonde baby, smiling a gummy smile with curly blonde hair and green emerald eyes looking brighter than a kryptonian in the sun.

"No.. That's.. who is that baby?"

Steph asked very slowly. Guess they forgot to tell Duke that Steph's daughter was a sensitive topic amongst them.

"Steph gave up her daughter at birth, Duke. And it was a traumatic experience for her so we don't talk about it."

Bruce informed.

"O-Oh! I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you didn't know"

She waved him off with a smile, but everyone still wondered who the baby was.

"Tim?"

"Yeah?"

Tim replied from inside his closet. He walked out upon no reply, setting down another box filled with camera equipment and saw all their confused faces.

"Who's baby is this?"

Duke turned the picture and Tim looked at it closer.

"Oh!"

Tim smiled, taking it and putting it next to his face.

"It's me!"

He smiled just as bright as the baby, which happened to be him, in the picture.

.

.

.

"WHAT!?"

The family, including Alfred, stared jaw dropped shocked at the guy.

The baby in the photo, smiling oh so brightly like the sun, green eyed, blonde curly hair, with the cutest little red polka dot dress on, was Tim, who had straight-ish black hair and blue eyes, didn't smile as brightly as the moon, who only gave smirks and grins, and was wearing a long sleeves under a Limp Bizkit t shirt with very baggy jeans.

"Yeah.. Genetics! Ya know..?"

"Explain."

Jason demanded.

"Well, up until I was 4-ish I had my dad's face but my mom's green eyes and blonde curly hair, but then it turned black and my eyes turned blue and straight-ish and I started looking more like my mom."

He rubbed his neck sheepishly.

That started the searching of Tim's baby photos. They'd organize the Bat photos and the hero photos later, right now they needed to find all of the blonde hair green eyed baby Tim photos.

It was no secret that Tim was trans, so when all the photos of a little girl in dresses and skirts showed up they weren't phased. It was hilarious to see all the pouty faced pictured of Tim in dresses.

The photos did get put up around the house with Tim's (begrudgingly(willingly)) permission.

Dick wanted him to bleach his hair but he refuses to damage his hair.

But also imagine this:

The older that Tim gets, the blonde comes back. He still looks like his mom, but his slowly starts turning blonde again, and his eyes start having a greener tint/hue to it.

The first to notice was Bart.

Bart was braiding Tim's rather ling hair when he points it out.

"Hey Tim, your hair's got some blonde in it!"

"What?"

Tim runs to the mirror and looks in it. Yep. Sure enough his hair was growing some blonde strands. And now that he looked, his eyes looked more green than it's normal blue.

"Oh my gosh.."

He calls Bruce.

Bruce who was in a JL meeting.

"I'm in a meeting."

"B! Im going blonde again! Ans my eyes! They're turning green!"

Tim says, somewhat panicked, somewhat excited.

Bruce blanks. Because.. what. What do you mean his baby boy, who he loved staring at the blonde and green eyed baby pictures of, was resorting back to that color.

"...really?"

He asks very hesitantly at first.

"Yeah!"

Tim turns his head down, showing his scalp. And there, right there, were several prominent, yet blended, strands of blonde growing in a curl pattern amongst the straight black locks.

Bruce just about cries right then and there.

Because then Tim does a close up of his eyes. And yep. His eyes have a but of green in them.

"That's great, sweetie. But I'm in a meeting right now."

"Oh! Sorry!"

He hangs up.

Bruce doesn't.

He's still stuck on the call smiling like a sappy parent whose kid just did something so small yet so touching. There were tears in his eyes and none of the JL knew what to do.

[bonefall]

the ShadowClan talk made me look through Brokenstar's BB Tags, and. a) is Lizardstripe still related to Finchflight, if you are keeping Finch-Dawn as a couple (with Dawncloud's age redux)? b) i keep seeing stuff about Snowtuft and killing kits, but i cant find anything actually detailing on that on the blog, and one of the older posts also mentions that Blizzardwing is either his son/grandson AND that Lizardstripe's mother was the kit he couldn't kill. what is all that about, im dying to know.

This is info that's scattered across a bunch of different posts, plus more deets and changes I haven't had a chance to dive into. Snowtuft committed an atrocity which would torment his victims and descendants for generations, for both its legacy and its trauma.

SO I wanna put as much of it as possible into one place for now, so you don't have to go guessing based on older posts. Especially since some of those posts are long outdated, but I haven't contradicted them yet.

To start the story of the two families, it begins with Snowtuft and the bloody end of the Crusade Era.

CONTENT WARNING; this is one of BB's darkest tales. It involves depictions of xenophobic violence, child murder, war crime, PTSD, abuse, and kidnapping. BB!Snowtuft's a bad kitty!

SEE: Kitten Stealing

(Also: After writing it out, I kinda realized this would be great as a BB entry on its own. I should come back and clean this up someday.)

PART 1: THE LAST CRUSADE

Cedarstar inherited the Crusades from Houndstar, continuing them more out of respect for her legacy than true zealotry.

He had actually been chosen as a deputy because he would run the Clan while she was off gallavanting.

He wasn't a pushover or anything, just prefered logistics. Him and Pinestar were tragically ahead of their time.

...but like other cats of his time, he was from a culture that didn't extend personhood beyond the Clans. So, he continued the Crusades.

Even though they weren't getting easier.

Crystal of Chelford had already used a new tool to carve a red future for the cats of the town...

and what were once defenseless little targets began to unite into organized, armed response teams.

Non-BloodClan "zones" got rarer and rarer.

The territory and underlings of an influential cat named Jay were among the last holdouts, so it's where most of ShadowClan's raids were launched.

And on one of these raids... it happened fast.

Snowtuft turned an alley and was ruthlessly attacked. He defended himself.

In the confusion, another assailant ran towards him. He acted swiftly.

It was reflex! Instinct! He couldn't tell what was coming at him. It was a split second decision.

He couldn't undo what had happened. The kitten was dead, next to its mother.

And the others were screaming, crying, terrified.

Snowtuft doesn't remember what he did next. He doesn't want to.

But Puffballburr does.

She used to see it every night.

She remembers her name, too-- Pixie. And her mom. And her littermates.

And the look that washed over his eyes when he realized the ragged flesh at his feet was a kitten.

Raw shock, electrifying shame, the dawning horror of knowing you've definitely done something that you're going to get punished for.

And when his white, blood-splattered face turned slowly towards her and her wailing siblings, she recognized that emotion too.

It's a very childlike response, really.

He needed to cover up his accident.

And he almost did, too. It was dumb luck that stopped him as he grabbed her tail and dragged her out from her hiding place. One of his clanmates heard the awful racket, and Pixie had survived just long enough.

PART 2: ONE OF US

They took her away, just like any other "honor kitten," but the Clan cats believed this was different somehow.

Something about the naked horror of what Snowtuft did, maybe. Impossible to ignore.

But it's not like he faced any real justice for it, not that Puffballkit could remember seeing. So clearly it wasn't very different at all.

His mate left him, and the older warriors regarded him with a distant sort of "shame." He was ostracized from many circles.

But Puff's siblings had not been "clan cats" so the Warrior Code did not apply to them. He faced social dishonor, not legal.

Ever-merciful Cedarstar did not want to "ruin" more lives.

"Not when the kit is far too young to even remember what happened," he said. But she did remember.

And her name. Her mom. Her littermates. That face.

She just knew, growing up, that she couldn't know about it.

Because Snowtuft was always right there, just around the curve of the den, just behind the cover of the rose bush thorns, listening.

They're ALL Snowtuft.

To admit she remembers it is to admit she isn't one of them. And if you're not one of them, the law does not apply to you.

As a kid, she couldn't articulate it. But she understood it.

Deep down to her brittle, kittypet bones. Her filthy, stillwater blood.

The ungrateful heart that beat in her chest.

Fear expressed as a constant, calm obedience of authority. A permanent dread, as if living in a pack as a sheep in wolf's clothing

So she was quiet, notoriously so.

Whoever her foster was, Puff was like a little white shadow. It's where the warrior name came from, eventually-- a puffball clinging to someone's fur. (after writing this though, half of me wants to start calling her Lambfur or Lambfrost.)

ShadowClan plunged into the Campaign Era with Heatherstar's invasion of the Mothermouth Moorland, and the massacre of some kittypet family became awkward history. Those old enough to remember still kept a distance from Snowtuft... but war took its toll.

War means death and those older members of the Clan are not replaceable.

Younger cats weren't there to see the horror of what Snowtuft had done... and time would make him bolder.

Finding growing sympathy in his apprentices, spurred on by the hardening of the culture in tandem with the official birth of Thistle Law, Snowtuft started to change history.

The official Educator of ShadowClan (still unsure who this was) had one story, and Snowtuft had one too.

"Details" were quietly changed in his. They weren't "kits" but "young cats." They charged out to aid their mother. Then maybe she wasn't their mother. Who knows.

Pullball's name was left out of these stories, on both sides. No need for the kittens to know that she wasn't one of us.

And if she was? That's a good thing for her. Living the life of a Clan cat.

He wouldn't share if "he wasn't asked," but all of his actions, his language, was a silent plea to be asked.

He wanted to forget the whole thing, because of his nightmares, his constant shame and punishment, how hard the whole ordeal made his life-- but he couldn't so it was constantly coming out of his mouth.

There was a deep resentment on his end, towards Puffballburr. How she was part of the Clan now, always reminding him. Like it was her fault.

In the end, Snowtuft didn't blame himself. He blamed everything else. The guilt was killing him a little bit every day...

But not as much as that WindClan cat's claws did. Those killed him a lot in one day!

But Snowtuft's death didn't bring Puffballburr any peace. She just felt... annoyed. Which was strange to her-- she should feel relief, but, she didn't. She was just thinking about how the next battle with WindClan would be harder without an extra set of claws.

PART 3: GOING HOME

Puffballfur is the queen of low empathy, and her emotions are... hard to predict.

Not in a chaotic sort of way, but in a "Huh, interesting, I didn't think that of all things would get me going" sort of way.

She both lives in constant "fear" but also a persistent banality. It's kind of like being in a cage with a chained tiger, but you've marked the exact spot on the floor where the tiger's chain ends.

Imagine getting nightmares that stop you from sleeping, but you know that they aren't going to come true. So you lay there with a throbbing heart, mostly feeling annoyed that you're going to be tired in the morning.

That's her life.

Sometimes when she couldn't sleep, she'd roll on her back in the nest and critique the assassination attempt in her mind.

Did he think his dumb plan through? Or did he just react without thinking? It was going to be obvious he killed a bunch of kids, whether she survived or not.

Or maybe he would have just said that the rogue killed her own kits to prevent them from becoming Clan cats. They'd probably believe that.

Either way it was sloppy. Could have had more kits if he didn't kill her sibs.

She had connections within the Clan. A foster, hunting buddies, apprentice. She was kind to them, especially when they were useful. But...

It feels like she's not like them. Like they have variables to their behavior that she doesn't. Drives and desires that are pointless, sometimes even frustrating.

Like the concept of "honor." Ridiculous. Every single person who talks about it is hypocritical about it in some way, and it causes unnecessary fights in the camp and on the border because of ridiculous ego.

She just performs it because the other cats value it-- and when people like you, you get what you want.

I'm not sure who her mate was, or if it was even just one. In any case, when she found herself pregnant, she declared Queen's Rights. I feel like she might have had a fling with someone, but got annoyed by their clingy behavior.

When her daughters were born, Bracketkit and Lizardkit, she felt pride.

Because... they didn't belong to someone else. They weren't even really ShadowClan's. They were hers.

For the first time since her mother and littermates had been taken away from her, she felt like she was looking at family. People who would always be with her.

But that didn't last...

...because a chance encounter only a few moons later reconnected her with someone who remembered her.

Not a littermate, but an older sister. Marmalade. She couldn't believe that Pixie was alive.

This is a WIP zone because I'm not sure, yet, if I'm keeping Hal's attack on ShadowClan. In any case, they continued to reconnect for moons.

The fact that she was remembered, that she could talk openly about what happened, and that Marmalade wanted her and her kittens to come home made Puffballburr's stomach flutter with excitement. She felt valuable.

And with the war getting worse and worse, this was absolutely the best choice for her kittens as well. They would be safer with BloodClan than they would with ShadowClan.

No longer would she be Puffballburr. Her name was Pixie.

ENTER: LIZARDSTRIPE

Puffballburr wasn't a bad mother, but it would feel a lot better to be Lizardstripe if she could have the simplicity to just say she was.

Her earliest memories of her mom and her sibling were outside of the camp on a cool, clear spring night, laying in soft marshgrass. Puff was laying on her back with her hind legs bowed out, a kit tucked under each paw, pressed to her fluffy, warm chest. Her face was turned upward, quietly, at the moon, as her daughters slept peacefully.

She's not sure how long after she'd opened her eyes that this memory took place, but Lizardkit looked up towards the bright, starry sky... and she remembered that the light hurt.

Her needs were always taken care of, but Puffballburr hated explaining things.

You learned quick to treat your questions like a valuable resource, and to listen carefully.

Lizardkit was sharp, much sharper than her sister. She caught onto the way that her mother viewed relationships in a very transactional sort of way-- and stayed aware of her balance.

And had to consider the cost of doing the things her mother was fond of, versus what the other kittens and queens in the nursery expected of her.

What Puffball didn't realize when her children were born was that they were family, but they were also ShadowClan. Even if this was not something she had ever felt a connection to.

Deep down, it didn't truly click with her that her children were not extensions of herself.

And when Lizardkit was a child, learning history from the Educator and getting involved in more of the Clan's goings-on, Puffballburr spent less and less time with her. Because she was reconnecting with Marmalade.

When Bracket and Lizard had their apprentice ceremony, Puffballburr was not there.

Lizardpaw's mentor was the infamously powerful, chaotic fighter, Finchflight. Bracketpaw was assigned to Brackenfoot. (There is an earlier post suggesting that Lizi and Finf were going to be related. I decided to make them mentor/apprentice instead.)

Finchflight immediately began to stress the importance of loyalty. Being one of the younger cats who had sympathized with Snowtuft and knowing the secret behind Puffballburr's beginnings, he nurtured a pain within Lizardstripe. Encouraged her to let the distance between her and her family grow.

Eventually, Puffball told her children that they were going to leave ShadowClan. They had family in the town, would be safe there, could start a brand new life together.

And Lizardpaw was shocked.

It was like everything Finchflight had said was true.

And they were going to leave her.

She reacted violently to the suggestion, attacking her mother. Told them that she was going to expose them, lead a patrol right back to their new hiding place, bring them "back home."

In defense of Puffballburr, Bracketpaw brawled with her sister. They fought viciously, until their mother separated them with a desperate, devastating whack to Lizardpaw's head.

Laying dazed on the ground, she heard an apology before passing out.

When she woke up, she was safely protected within a blackthorn bush-- with a nick on the outside of her ear.

She stayed out there for hours, not knowing what to do, where her family had gone, or what she was going to say when she got home.

But, looking at her reflection in a puddle of water, she became so angry at the idea of this being her first scar that she ripped the other ear, on the opposite side.

When the search party found her, they asked what had happened to her. If she had seen her mother or her sister, or if something had gone wrong.

"Nah. Took a nap to get away from them. Ripped my ears on the thornbush."

Later, when she would be interrogated or questioned by people she didn't want to lie to, she would tell a half-truth;

"I did it to myself. Liked how it looked. Last I saw of Puffballburr and Bracketpaw, they were upset I'd done it and left, so I took a nap."

She didn't mind that her Clanmates thought this was weird. She didn't care about whispers that it was all done for attention, or that it was dishonorable to do such a thing and they probably met a predator after storming off, and she didn't even mind the gossip guessing at the "real" reason behind her ripped ears.

The only people who ever got the whole truth were the Forget-Me-Nots. After their disappearance, Lizardstripe didn't talk about her family for years, insisting upon having no further details. Even if it meant that mystery and suspicion would hang around her like a cloud.

BLIZZARDWING: KIN OF SNOWTUFT

Snowtuft's daughter was named Lilyfur. She was a kit when her father slaughtered Pixie's family.

When her mother left her father, she also distanced herself from him. This was something Snowtuft was outraged and saddened by.

But Lilyfur's mother couldn't stand the idea of a kitten-killer trying to stay close to her daughter. How could he look at little babies, the same age as his own child, and kill them?

Lilykit grew up very conflicted. She remembered how much she loved her dad, understood that he was a kitten murderer, but he continued to be so kind to her into adulthood.

It was hard to think of him as someone who could do something so horrible.

Earlier draft had Lilyfur die and her kittens were raised by their kin, Snowtuft, but I'm currently leaning towards Lilyfur being alive but just letting him be an active part of their lives-- in spite of her discomfort.

Because the more time he spent in her life, paradoxically, the more obsessed he became with all the "time he lost out on."

Which ended up including entertaining a lot of conversations about how he'd never done anything wrong, ever, and everyone was mean to him.

Lilyfur: "ok maybe he's not evil but my dad is really annoying <:/ but he's really lonely. He needs me. and i cant take him away from his grandkits"

From this, what Blizzardwing absorbed was the idea that love and forgiveness was always tolerating your family no matter what. This would express itself in his toxic relationship with Hollyflower.

But Blizzardwing now has a sibling. I haven't settled on a name yet-- but I'm playing with him either being Angelshade or Silkflower.

I really like the name "Angelshade" as a reference to the notoriously deadly white mushroom, the Destroying Angel. But also. someone in the audience asked if I could give the prefix "angel" to a cat because it's their name, and I feel a little bad about giving it to a character who is going to be one of the nastiest little background characters in all of BB lmaooooo

i'm so sorry angel (positive), is it okay if there's an angel (derogatory)

ANYWAY, Untitled Blizzardwing Sibling grew up adoring his grandpaw.

Radicalization can be a slow creep. He loved peepaw, so if he was asked when he was young, he would happily repeat the adjusted version of history he was taught.

And then when Snowtuft died, he wanted to remember him fondly. The story slowly changed, becoming more "accurate," just getting more comfortable with the idea of dehumanizing outsiders.

So what, if he killed some kittypet? And if some kits had already been indoctrinated into their kittypet life? It was still a gain for ShadowClan, in the end.

One summer day, without warning, he came home with two little kittens. One was white, one was brown, both had the pinkish tinge of poorly cleaned blood.

He grinned playfully at Brokenstar, and claimed Queen's Rights in a singsong tone.

Because of that rite, no one could ask where he'd gotten those kittens from. But everyone knew he'd done something grim.

Those kits, Whitewater and Brownstone, grew up under the crescendo of Brokenstar's reign, both taking part in the WindClan Massacre.

Whitewater's bloody story includes joining Mudclaw's Rebellion, giving birth to three kits, a souring relationship with her son, condemnation to the Dark Forest, ends in the Battle of the True Eclipse after killing her grandson.

Brownstone's tale includes a relationship with a WindClan cat during the bloodiest period in the history of their two Clans.

And their father's story ends in Chelford, after being exiled from ShadowClan by Nightstar. His canon counterpart is the Unnamed White Rogue from Rise of Scourge, who tries to order Scourge to be his personal servant.

(the other two cats are Braketail, the "Offbrand Brokenstar" pale tabby, and Pirateheart, the gray rogue with green eyes. Glitch Warriors for the pile!)

[synvil]

say you love me // matt sturniolo + chris sturniolo

synopsis : not saying “i love you” back to your bfs, a tiktok trend.

tiktok trends masterlist !

matt sturniolo (☆´3｀)

‘i’m abt done here, so ill pick up some food for us and be home in like 10 mins.’

matt was currently out doing some errands and such, and is in the middle of texting you as he prepares to leave and head home, letting you know the plan.

you respond back fairly quickly, a smile lacing on your lips as you decide to mess with him a little. ‘okayy, sounds good. see u soon :)’

your text causes the boy to smile lightly and he buckles his seatbelt, texting back. ‘i love you, angel’

‘mmh!’

you can’t help the giggles that escape you as he furrows his brows at the screen and sits in the car, staring at the phone in his hand as he tries again. ‘i love u [name]’

‘yup! be safee’

within seconds, your phone suddenly begins to vibrate, signaling that matt was calling. stifling a laugh, you clear your throat and answer. “yeah babe?”

“[name], what’s wrong? did i do something?” the immediate concern in his voice nearly causes you to give in as you purse your lips and feel your chest warm. “what do you mean?”

matt frowns as he leans back in his seat and crosses an arm over his chest. “you aren’t saying it back. what did i do?”

“awh, honey. im sorry, i was just teasing you. i love you, matt.” you coo, already feeling bad and matt huffs lightly. “god, you’re so much sometimes.. i love you more, dumbass. pizza still okay?”

“heh, sounds delicious. see you soon, matt.”

“alright. love you, angel.”

breaking into a wide smile, you chuckle. “i love you more.”

chris sturniolo (⸝⸝⍢⸝⸝) ෆ

“mmh, my baby is all dressed up, looking sexy.”

chris curls his lips into a smirk as he brings an arm behind his head to rest against his pillow while his other hand holds his phone as he lays in bed. “where you headed to?”

you giggle at chris’ words and smooth down your jacket a little, adjusting it before turning to the mirror in his room to look for any last minute changes. “i’m heading out with some friends, we’re going shopping.”

“mmh, pick out something pretty then. can’t wait to see it.” chris calls out, directing his attention back to his phone and you hum, picking up your purse off the bedside table. “i’ll take pictures.”

“alright, have fun. i love you, babe.”

“i will. i like you more.” you quickly say in response, speedily making your way to the door, and just as your hand grabs the handle, chris stops you. “nuh uh, get your ass back here.”

you bite your tongue from releasing a laugh and glance back innocently. “what? i’m going to be late.”

chris narrows his eyes as he stares up at you in disbelief. “i love you, princess.”

“i like you too baby, now can i go?”

chris appears unamused, quickly growing impatient as he stands up and heads over to you, and you swallow to keep your composure. once he arrives at your side, he cups your chin and presses you against the door.

peering down at you, he tilts his head and tries again, this time more firmly and staring right into your eyes.

“[name]. i love you. now say it back and say it right.”

feeling the warmth spreading across your cheeks, you shyly look away and murmur. “..i love you, chris..”

the man only smirks and pecks your lips before pulling away. “good girl. you’re lucky i don’t teach you a lesson.” he warns casually before making his way back to his bed and waves his hand dismissively.

“see you later, baby.”

a/n : i lowkey don’t know how to write chris but gave it my best shot !! hope you guys enjoyed :)

synvil™️

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

i know i’ve been talking about them a lot without actually writing anything for the actual fic but im so excited to play with william and ace’s dynamic, especially when she’s like 5 months pregnant and on a summer vacation with william and his whole family

like he’s just been knocked out of the playoffs again, he’s got a baby on the way and he’s like well fuck it let’s bring ace along on the family trip to monte carlo and saint tropez - might as well get her involved now

they do a first stop in sweden and william’s excited to show her around and this is where they really become friends and not just co-parents to be

problem is, ace is ridiculously horny and being around summer william is not helping

she’s in his bedroom and he’s on the couch and one thing leads to another - william walks in on her masturbating and trying to take some of the edge off her achy desire. they’re both surprised and she’s embarrassed, but he’s like “i mean, this is something i can help with. if you want?”

and he goes back to the couch, to give her space, but ace appears like ten minutes later to tug him back into the room. she knows it’s going to make things messy, but she can’t resist

they continue to have sex all throughout the month of july, with ace being like “this is going to stop when we’re back home. like, it’s just the summer psychosis”

but it doesn’t stop once they’re back in toronto, they keep hooking up because ace keeps needing him, right up until she’s like 8.5 months pregnant, too big and uncomfortable to even think about sex

but all the hormones have her confused and she wants william for comfort and he’s definitely falling for her at this point and she’s not sure if it’s biological urges to be with her baby’s father or if she actually wants to make something work with him.

either way, both of them see july as the turning point in their relationship, when everything changed

[naehoonx]

" First Kiss " - caleb [ oneshot ]

→ SUMMARY: since you met caleb again in skyhaven many things had changed. why was your heart beating so fast whenever you were near him? why were your hands getting sweaty whenever he got closer? and why did it bother you so much that he never wanted to make the first move?

→ GENRE: fluff; awkward; innocent; shoujo like love.

→ RATING: 15+

→ NOTE: i started playing LADS last year in december while i was suffering a bad writing block. first i fell deeply in love with zayne but the moment caleb was released .. i resonated with him more? i love the childhood friends to lovers trope + the angst the both of them embodied. the losing and finding each other while still keeping secrets from another. i hope you enjoy it!

♡.°₊ˎ SONG FOR THIS ONESHOT

it was another normal day in skyhaven for you. caleb and you were fighting again, over the most dumb thing, like always. maybe that was a perk of being childhood friends for so long but it was really draining at the same time. you didnt even knew what triggered it this time. the only words which left your mouth were " maybe you shouldnt come with me to this mission." yeah, thinking back to those words, you needed to admit that it was dumb to speak them out loud. considering how caleb could be whenever it concerned your safety. another huff left his lips as he leaned against the kitchen counter, not understanding why you're not wanting him by your side. without him every mission posed as a threat to your safety in caleb's eyes and somehow it irritated you. why was he so overprotective of you and why did it bother you so much that he never spoke it out loud. is it so hard to tell you that he's worried about you?

"you act like a damn child caleb. i can take care of my own and you know that!" your voice was already strained from all the arguing as you looked over at him.

caleb wasnt facing you, instead he was staring at the kitchen counter as he clutched his hand against the smooth surface. you noticed early on that this was some kind of habit of him.

"i know that you can take care of yourself but thats not the issue here" "then what is the issue here? Caleb you never tell me whats wrong, im always .. left with some weird puzzle pieces whenever we fight"

another frustrated huff left his lips as you could see how his fingernails dig into the flesh of his palm. he would hurt himself like this again but at the same time you remembered that he really cant. thanks to that mechanical arm of his, he cant feel anything beside immense pain. so digging his nails inside his palm wont do much damage to his body.

"caleb please" another try to press him to be honest with you and still, he kept looking away from you. carefully you took a step towards him before he finally turned his head into your direction. that was the first time you could see the colour red creeping up his cheeks. was he that angry with you?

"what do you want to hear from me Y/N? Tell me? I already told you that i wont let you go alone there!" "but why not! you never give me a reason!"

frustrated you lifted your arms over your head before you turned around on your heel. before you could take one step forward, into the living room, someones arm wrapped around your waist; pushing you back. it didnt took you long until you realized that caleb stood right behind you, his broad chest pressing against your back. for a moment your breath hitched at the same time your heart nearly bursts inside your chest.

"what do you want to hear Y/N ... tell me" caleb's voice was low as he leaned down to whisper against your ear. his grip tightening more around your waist. making it impossible to escape. your body suddenly starts to mold perfectly against his own. its like the two of you were made for each other. "tell me" goosebumps appeared on your arms as calebs lips nearly brushed against your ear. your whole body freezed on the spot as his hand over from your waist to your stomach. what was happening right now?

"i- ... i just want that you are being honest with me.. you always tell me i shouldnt fight alone and that i should rely on you more but .. why? You know im strong .. " another strong tuck forced your back against his chest. you didnt knew that being this close would be even possible. carefully you put your hand on calebs arm, the arm which held you firm ... the same arm which cant feel any warmth anymore.

now you heard calebs breath hitch. what were you two doing here? once there was a time when the two of you got along well and rarely fought with each other. now the both of you sometimes didnt even knew how to behave around each other. one month ago you suddenly became hyper aware of caleb as a man. suddenly you didnt saw him as some kind of childhood friend anymore .. there was something more whenever you looked at him or stole glanzes while he was working. deep down you had hoped that caleb feels the same way but he still kept treating you like the little girl he once took care of.

as you were deep inside your thoughts, caleb spun you around so you were looking up at him now. his ears were red too now, it looked really adorable. there it was again, that look in his eyes you couldnt put a name on it. Caleb looked helpless as he just kept staring at you, his lips parting just slightly as he wanted to say something. you knew better, he was holding back. probably all the things he wanted to tell you or something else. slowly your hand reached out to touch his cheek. his skin felt hot underneath your fingertips as you slid down to his chin.

"caleb please .. we cant keep fighting like this .. tell me already why you're so scared to let me go alone" pleading was seen in your eyes and maybe thats the reason why he finally broke his silence.

for a short moment caleb closed his eyes as your fingertips still lingered on his chin.

"its hard to put all the things i feel into words .. I- i want you to rely on me more because if you doesnt .. i feel like you will let go of me and walk away ... at the same time i dont want to lock you up here ... knowing damn well you are your own person. dont look at me like that Y/N ... i know you are strong and probably dont need me for anything but .. whenever i think about it .. you not needing me it feels like .. a knife pierces through my heart and i- "

before he could continue with his rambling you put a finger against his lips. all those words were enough for you. he literally opened his heart for you even if it was just a tiny little bit. caleb needed you, he was scared of losing you .. so it was fine to hope right?

biting down on your lip you put both hands against his cheeks. the confused look in his eyes was something you learned to adore. caleb always looked so cute whenever he didnt knew what you were up to now. slowly you got on your tip toes just to be a bit closer to him. your noses nearly touched as caleb took another shaky breath but he didnt dared to speak. if he was too scared to take the next step in your relationship you would do it. even if your heart is nearly bursting at the moment.

another hitched breath as your lips finally got in contact with his own, from that moment on everything was just a blurr. calebs arms wrapped tightly around your body as he captured your lips in a desperate manner. it felt like he was starving all those years and finally got to eat something again. from time to time he broke the kiss for a short moment, just to look at you with those eyes. eyes which were full of yearning, yes yearning. all those years he had looked at you like this and you never noticed it before. the world around you two didnt mattered anymore as caleb, once more, pressed his lips against yours. his own breathing was shaky as his body forced you near the sofa. even if you were stumbling a bit his strong arms were ready to catch you.

the moment the back of your knees touched the sofa, your butt fell onto the soft fabric. this time you got a better look at calebs face as he was hovering over you. one of his arms was placed beside your head against the sofa, so he wouldnt crash on top of you.

"who thought .. you could be this bold y/n .. "

a smirk formed on your face as you wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him closer again "well ... you took too long caleb. a hunter wont wait forever for its prey."

the last thing you saw was a smiling caleb before he dived back in to capture your lips. this time in a much softer and tender kiss.

[muhlsworld]

WE’RE MEANT TO BE

synopsis: maybe you weren’t so done with nika as you thought

WARNINGS: part 4, cussing, arguing, bad writing

it had now been 4 months since the jet night at ted’s. and you meant it when you said you didn’t want to know nika anymore. you did everything in your power to avoid her and to not think of her. and you were successful.. for the most part.

your season was over. finally. so now it was enjoying the rest of the school year, with ocasional practices of course but nothing you couldn’t handle. you were content with how your life was going now. one thing you did change over the course of these months was that you no longer went out every weekend like you used to. you stopped spontaneously hooking up with people. you were just enjoying the college life. and you were doing good.

so today you had a free day for the most part besides catching up on some homework. you were in your dorm enjoying your alone time when your phone buzzed. thinking nothing of it you check to see what the notification was. as you check your phone your stomach drops.

it was an unknown number. the messages stated ‘i need to talk to. please. it’s important. -nika’. how did she even get your number? you had no idea why she barely reached out now after 4 months of no contact. you were confused to say the least. you didn’t know what to do. your brain was telling you to ignore the message. you’re don’t with her. you don’t need her. but your heart was ted something else.

before overthinking it you sent a text back reading ‘okay.’ a simple response. your heart was practically beating out of your chest. why did you just do that?

what you didn’t know what that nika was freaking out that you had even replied in the first place. she was so sure that you weren’t going to. and to not keep you waiting so long she replied instantly ‘come to my dorm?’.

on your end you opened the message as fast as you could. ‘yeah, send the address.” simple. nika replied yet again ‘were in the same building. room 204.’ and with that message you were on your way. your mind was racing. you had no idea why you even accepted to this. you were done with her.. right? what could she possibly say you thought. and before you knew it you were at her door. but you hadn’t knocked for some reason. you couldn’t. you were nervous. eventually you knocked.

nika opened the door, shock written all over her face that you had actually agreed to talk to her. she stepped aside letting you in to her apartment. when you walked in you noticed every little thing about her dorm. she hadn’t changed. everything about her dorm reminded you of her old house and when you would go over. it made you feel uneasy.

“thank you for coming. i know you didn’t want to hear from me and you didn’t owe me anything but im glad you came.” nika stated. “uh would you like something to drink?” she asked after a few moments of silence. “i’m okay thank you” you replied. “okay well you can take a seat on the couch if you’d like” nika said as she sat down herself. you nodded and sat with a bit of distance between you two.

“why’d you ask me here nika?” you asked look at her. she sighed before she answered. “i just wanted to tell you the truth. i needed you to hear it even if we weren’t talking anymore.” she said. “okay.” you replied indicating her to keep going.

“when we hooked up, i didn’t cheat on my boyfriend. we we were on a break. we had this huge fight and decided to take a break. and when you saw us at the gym we had barely gotten back together. you weren’t just a quick fuck to me okay? you mean more than that to me.” nika said in a slight whisper. you stared at her in complete disbelief. what did she mean by you mean more to me? do you still mean something to her? before you could ask she started talking again. “i know im nothing to you now but i just wanted you to know that me leaving that day without saying goodbye was the worst thing i could have ever done. if i could go back i would.” she said. you looked at her and saw tears in her eyes. that sight made you want to drop everything and hug her.

but you didnt.

you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. after all these years you finally heard what you wanted. you wanted to be with nika since the day you guys had become best friends. you waited for the day but it never came. was this the day it all turned around.

“nika i don’t know what to say.” you said honestly. she sighed looking down. as if that wasn’t the answer she was hoping for. “that’s okay. i just wanted you to know. i know you wanted nothing to do with me anymore so don’t worry i wont reach out to you again.” she said, her tone laced with sadness. but that’s not what you wanted.

“nika look, i love you. i always have and always will. but you hurt me so bad.” you said. “i know and i don’t know what else to say other than im sorry. but i can’t go on without you.” nika said tears finally slipping from her eyes. and in that moment you broke.

“come here.” you said with your arms open for her. she fell into you and it was like your bodies were meant for each other. perfectly molding together. and in that moment you knew you couldn’t never hate her. but working to where you were before was going to take time. and maybe even becoming more.

“nika i want to be with you i do. but it’s going to take time. we haven’t had a meaningful conversation in years.” you said. and she nodded while her head was on your chest. “we can start over.” you said. “no bad blood, nothing. we start from scratch and we build our way up back to being friends.” you said. nikas heart shattered with the word friends. but before she could speak you said “and maybe more than friends.”

and with that nika was happy. it didn’t have to be right now but as long as you didn’t hate her she was happy.

“i can work with that.” nika said with a cheesy smile.

A/N: this got kind of sloppy but happy ending kinda?? anyway this is the last part of this little series but i hope you guys enjoyed it!!

please leave me some requests 🙏

[jungmeowz]

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈ secret letters to you - OT7

001; Kim Sunoo the Childhood Best Friend

synops: seven boys who have all had a crush on you, and mayhaps one or two of them are still in love with you, and who knows? But at one point all of them liked you, just in different timelines. sum: seven anonymous letters arrived at your mailbox with seven different boys names, but there's ONE secret confession letter that's fresh and newly written. Who wrote the letter?

genre: fluff, angst(?)

pairing: ot7 x reader

inspo: lowkey based on en-drama and to all the boys i've loved before

word count: 3.5k+ (not proof-read)

a/n: im sorry for the delay... i've been super busy and just trying to get my life together (its not going so well so yeah...)

I’ve known Sunoo ever since we were kids, so I guess maybe it can rule out at least one of the letters but still? My childhood best friend liking me? I mean it’s like a typical cliche but still… but it was still a shocker to me. So out of these eight letters, you’re telling me one of them is written by Sunoo, my childhood best friend.

Sunoo and I have been through everything together, we have shared and created so many memories together, from our first time trying ice cream to our first time underestimating high school. He’s seen me at my worst and at my best, but I've also seen him at his worst and best. We’ve seen each other's weaknesses and strongest perks, but after all that’s what makes us best friends. But I’ve never once thought of him that way, and I’ve never exactly developed romantic feelings for him either. So now that I’m aware of his feelings, I essentially feel bad for never being able to return his feelings, or ever consider those romantic feelings.

“So Kim Sunoo… isn’t he like your childhood best friend?” Aerai questioned. “You know, it’s no surprise if he liked you, I mean it's a typical cliche,” my brother noted. “Yeah perhaps, but the real question is, does he still like me?” I wondered. “I mean if he did, how would you feel about it?” Aerai asked. “Well, I don’t know. I mean I’ve never looked at him that way, nor have I ever developed romantic feelings for him, but even thinking about him like that, it’s a bit weird to me,” I answered.

After answering Aerai’s question, I started to think more about Sunoo and how things would change if we did date, or if I developed romantic feelings for him, and well after briefly thinking about the situation, it still seemed weird to me, and I don’t know how I would feel about the transition of a best friend to a boyfriend, but maybe I’m also scared of jeopardizing our friendship if we ever did cross that line. But he wasn’t the only one that liked me, so either way things would still be complicated as ever. 

“Yeah, I don’t think you don’t like him, because if you’re saying it’s weird and you’ve never thought about it, there’s probably no feelings,” Aerai said. “Okay, well let’s try to figure out which letter he wrote,” I said. “And if we do, how will we confirm it’s him?” Aerai asked. “Well, there’s only one way and that’s asking him, or maybe trying to make moves on him and see,” my brother answered. “First off, no. I’m not gonna make moves on my best friend because that’s weird, and what if he doesn’t even like me anymore… Majority of these confessions seem like past tense and they’re dated kinda far back,” I replied.

After finishing replying to my brother's comment, I looked at him and he shrugged in his defense and put his hands up as a surrender not wanting to add fuel to the fire. “It’s a suggestion, you didn’t need to take it personally,” my brother said. “Well okay, let’s take a look at the letters,” Aerai said. “Well maybe it could be May 23rd 2021, it mentions the word “kids” so maybe it could be Sunoo?” I questioned. “Well what about the one that's dated in 2020? I feel like maybe the older the year is, maybe it could be him?” Aerai replied. “You make a fair point, and I thought about it, but that letter says ‘sidelines’, so I’m wondering if maybe that one could be Heeseung? I mean like, I’m always cheering for Heeseung on the sidelines when he’s playing basketball? So that could be it?” I wondered. “But that doesn’t make any sense, didn’t you meet Heeseung in like 2022” Aerai asked. “Shit you’re right, that’s also roughly the time I met the other guys as well,” I replied. 

Honestly there were so many things I needed to consider about these letters, but my brain had no capacity to understand and comprehend these letters as these dates were throwing me off. It didn’t help that my memory isn’t the best either. I felt like every time I kept reading these letters I ended up being more confused and lost. 

“Well, I definitely don’t think it’s one of the most recent dated letters…“ Aerai trailed off. “Yeah, I agree. I don’t think the recently dated letters would be Sunoo’s,” I replied. “Okay, so then let's just assume it’s either the oldest dated letter, or the letter that mentions ‘kids’,” Aerai said. “Well one of them says they would rather stay friends, and then the other one is expecting me to feel the same way,” I said. 

After making that comment, the thought didn’t occur to me that maybe potentially one of the boys could still like me, and I would need to face that later on. It doesn’t help that I’m no good at responding to people's feelings either. “Wait, do you by any chance like someone at the moment?” My brother asked. My face turned red when the thought of Heeseung appeared in my mind, and then I immediately brushed it off. “No, it’s not like that really,” I quietly said. “You’re lying, you’re just like me! Your ears get red when you get embarrassed or shy,” My brother laughed. “Wait, you’re telling me this whole time you liked someone and you didn’t even tell me?” Aerai frowned. “It’s not that big of a deal, don’t worry about it,” I replied. “Well then, if it’s not a big deal then tell me who it is,” Aerai smirked as she crossed her arms. “It’s Hee..Heeseung,” I stuttered. “I knew it! You’re always going to his basketball games, I thought it was because of Jongseong or Riki, but no, it’s because of Heeseung,” Aerai smiled. “Shut up,” I blushed. “Poor Yunnie, you always dragged him to these basketball games even though he would much rather stay at home and build legos” Aerai snickered. “What? He was always eager to come with me though,” I said. “Yeah, and it’s probably because he gets to spend more time with you,” My brother snickered. 

My best friend and brother weren’t wrong, but the thought never occurred to me that Jaeyun would want to only come just to spend time with me. I sincerely thought he wanted to go these games because he wanted too and support his friends, but after receiving the confession letters and coming to the conclusion all of them liked me at one point, it would make sense why Jaeyun would come with me to these basketball games and give up some nights to build legos just to accompany me on the bleachers to support the team. 

“That’s not the point, we’re here to identify which letter Sunoo wrote!” I exclaimed. “Well we have a movie night hangout tonight at Sunoo’s. Maybe you should head over there early and talk to him privately,” Aerai suggested. I groaned and put my hands on my cheek in distress, “Ugh, what am I suppose to say? Uhm hey which letter did you write?”I panicked. “You can, or you can snoop around his room and try to find something. The letters seemed typed out, so obviously there’s probably a written letter or diary!” Aerai said. “So invasion of privacy…” I whispered. “Okay, let’s not do that. If I was a guy, I wouldn't like it if my crush was snooping around my room to find my confession letter. Just be bold and ask him, but don’t expect him to be honest with you,” My brother said. I darted my eyes at my brother and heavily sighed, he looked at me and shrugged. I rolled my eyes at him. “Did anyone ever tell you how unhelpful you are?” I commented. “Yeah.. you’re not really helping your sister right now. Well, I have to head home and get ready for the movie night. You should head over there early and maybe talk to Sunoo about it,” Aerai suggested. “I could… and I know I should. I just don’t know how to bring it up still,” I sighed. 

Aerai got up from the couch and put her hand on my shoulder and then patted it as an attempt to give me reassurance of the whole situation. She gave me a warm smile and then waved off and left the house. I slumped back onto the couch in defeat, frowning at the situation. My brother looked at me and then decided to plop down next to me. “So Heeseung huh,” he said as he nudged my shoulder. “Don’t even, that's the least of my concerns right now. I don’t even care if Heeseung  likes me back, or used to like me. It’s not going to happen,” I replied. “Since when did you even start liking him,” he asked. “Since the day we met, I mean have you looked at him… he’s just so cute, but when he steps onto the court he’s like the coolest guy ever,” I said. “So you’re telling me you’ve only liked Heeseung out of everyone from that group?” he questioned..

For a moment, I sat there wondering if I should confess to my brother about my feelings and thoughts about the boys. Besides Lee Heeseung, there was also another guy I had feelings for, Sim Jaeyun, the next door neighbor. At one point I really did like him, I liked him for quite a while, but I told myself to give up on liking him just because I never thought he would feel the same way. He seemed like the type who wasn’t interested in dating or relationships. He never mentioned having crushes or liking anyone, he always minded his own business focusing on school, and building legos, but to know in the end he did like me, I couldn’t help but think how things would’ve turned out if we knew we both liked each other at one point and maybe confess. 

“Well… I mean Jaeyun… But I don’t anymore. I gave up years ago, it seems like he was never interested in love and such,” I trailed off. “Oh, so you liked the golden retriever boy,” my brother said. “I mean not anymore, he’s cute and adorable when he builds he’s super focused on building his legos, and he’s always been there for me, but there’s no way he feels the same way about me now. I think one of the letters from him is probably the letter that he wishes to just be friends,” I shrugged. “And what if it’s not? What will you do?” he asked. “I don’t know, re-think about it?” I replied. “So just Heeseung and Jaeyun?” he hummed. “I mean liking Sunghoon would be weird, that’s like your best friend, and that would just kinda be a sin in my book and maybe in your book, liking Jongseong is no question asked because that's your roommate, and Jungwon and Riki are like my bro’s. I can’t look at them like that, and well Sunoo.. we’re just best friends and I would like to keep it like that,” I answered. “I mean I don’t mind Sunghoon liking you, it’s his life. I shouldn’t stop him from liking someone and stop him from how he feels, like it or not, emotions are hard to deal with, and forcing someone not to like someone isn’t right either,” he replies. “Well it doesn’t matter. I still think it’s weird. Besides, Sunghoon is such a huge flirt, I could never, we’re like total opposites,” I shrugged. “Hey, you never know, opposites attract sometimes,” he joked. 

I looked at my brother and rolled my eyes at him, I proceeded to get up and drag myself off the couch and walk towards my room and plopped down onto my bed. I pulled out the letters again and decided to re-read them again, and after re-reading them multiple times, I threw the letters aside and screamed into my pillow with frustration. It’s not like I was expecting any of them to like me to be honest, because literally why would anyone like me? I’m a hot mess, but that’s just me. 

After screaming and laying in bed staring off into space looking at my ceiling, I looked at the time and realized it was almost time to head over to Sunoo’s house for movie night. I braced myself and decided it was time to get ready, as I slipped on a pair of sweats and a hoodie, I grabbed the letters and shoved them into my bag and left the house and headed over to Sunoo’s house.  

It didn't take long to head over to Sunoo’s house. I knocked on his door and he opened it and smiled at me and gave me a hug. There was a part of me that felt weirded out hugging him, just because of those confession letters I read, but I tried to brush it off and proceeded to hug him back. As he let me in, he greeted me and told me to head upstairs first as he still needed to finish some things up.

I nodded and headed over into his room, as I walked towards his bed and sat down, I took a look around his room and couldn’t help but let Aerai’s suggestion get to me. Should I look around or is this an invasion of privacy? But at this point curiosity got the better of me and I decided to snoop around his desk looking for papers or anything that could be letter related. 

Eventually after a couple minutes of rummaging, I got distracted and didn’t realize Sunoo had entered his room. I felt my body freeze as I could feel him staring at me, I was caught red-handed. “What are you doing?” Sunoo asked. “Nothing, I just thought your desk needed some cleaning, jeez Sunoo. Keep your desk clean,” I lied. “My desk is clean, what were you doing snooping around?” he asked. “I can explain?” I answered in surrender. “I’m not mad, it just seems unlike you,” he said. 

My hands were shaking, it was nice to know that Sunoo wasn’t mad that I had just lied to him while snooping around his room. My mind went blank and I didn’t know how to respond to him. There were two options, it was either to tell the truth or continue to lie to him, but with barely time to think and the extended awkward silence forming, I shut my eyes and trusted my gut, and blurted out everything from the top of my head. 

“Sunoo, did you ever like me? I got home today. These eight confession letters were handed to me from my brother and they’re all dated differently and I don’t know… One of these letters seemed like it was written from you but then again I don’t know, because I only talk to you and the other boys, so then it makes sense, but then again who would like me I don’t know what I'm saying. I just, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snoop around I just really wanted to confirm it, and I didn’t know how and I wasn’t going to ask you because I was scared you were going to lie but now that my mind is blank, and I’m out here babbling like a complete mess, I feel like I just messed things up,” I ranted. “Okay, first of all, breathe, and calm down, I’m not mad. Please one thing at a time, because you literally talked so fast that I lost track of what you said,” Sunoo replied. I hesitated for a second, but there was no point going back because if I asked once already, I might as well ask again and repeat myself. “Did you ever write a confession letter to me?” I asked. “...What makes you say that?” he answered. “Because of this,” I replied as I pulled out the letters out of my bag. 

Sunoo took the letters out of my hand and read the letters and his eyes widened as his face and ears turned super red and then he looked at me. “Where did you find this?” he asked. “My brother told me it was mailed to me?” I answered. “Who on earth would mail this to you?” he said. “I don’t know! But that’s not the point right now. Did you or did you not like me, and did you write one of these letters,” I asked. “Okay fine. At one point I did like you, but that was years ago! I don’t like you anymore, and yes I did write a confession letter, but this was suppose to be a secret. It was never meant to be leaked or anything. I don’t know who the hell leaked my letter, but I don’t like you like that anymore. I look at you as my best friend, and I hope you’re not weirded out or have feelings for me because I’m sorry..” he panicked. “Which one did you write…?” I trailed off. “I wrote the October 13th 2020,” he confessed. “I’m sorry I never noticed your feelings Sunoo,” I apologized. “Please don’t be. It was a long time ago, and besides I’m over it and it was for the best anyways. Like the letter said, I'd rather keep this friendship than lose you,” he smiled. “I know but still. I feel like I still hurt you in some way,” I said. “It’s really okay y/n,” Sunoo smiled. 

I was really thankful to know that Sunoo didn’t have feelings for me anymore, because now that was one less thing to worry about. I still felt bad that he did like me years ago, but I’m glad that he’s over it. “It’s a relief you’re over me, because I don’t know what I would’ve done if you weren’t,” I said. “Well that’s a relief then? Glad we’re on the same page,” he said. “So… Do you know by chance who wrote the other letters?” I asked. “It’s true that all of us liked you at one point, and we did keep it a secret, but we never showed each other our confession letters. So I’m not sure which letter belongs to who,” he answered. “And here I thought you could help me,” I frowned. “As much as I want to help, It’s not my job to reveal their feelings. This is something you’re going to have to solve on your own, as much as I love you, I can’t intervene in this because it’s not my feelings. I mean you figured out mine, but you should give the others a chance to speak like you’re doing with me,” he defended. “But I’m scared. There’s someone out there right now who still likes me currently, and I’m scared. What if I don’t like them back? What if it’s someone I hoped it would be, but isn’t?” I sighed. “I know, but whatever happens, it’s meant to happen. Just know that we all care about you,” Sunoo comforted. “Can I get a hint at least?” I asked. “Fine, someone who has the letter N in their name is still in love with you,” he answered. “Kim Sunoo, that is the most useless hint ever. All of their names have N, aside from Riki! But he even goes by Ni-Ki sometimes!” I whined. “Well you eliminated me! You asked for a hint, and I gave you one,” he laughed. “This is why I favor Aerai over you,” I joked. “How dare you, and here I thought I was being nice,” he gasped. “Yeah whatever,” I scoffed. “The utter disrespect,” he laughed.

A part of me was really curious in wanting to ask why Sunoo liked me, I mean it’s obvious that I lacked self-confidence considering the fact I just don’t understand who could like me, but after receiving confession letters, it definitely sparked my curiosity. “Quick question though.. Why did you like me? I mean it says in the letter but still?” I asked. “I mean listen, I liked you because you were always so forward about things, I mean yes, you were a bit strong headed and stubborn, and sometimes annoying and shy but it’s cute and that’s what I liked about you. I think you’re different from the other girls in a way, you’re very unique,” he answered honestly. 

After hearing Sunoo’s answer, I could feel my face turn sour, it was so weird to hear that come out of his mouth. I knew he was being honest with his feelings with me, but I don’t know, for some reason it just didn’t sound right to me. “I kinda just gagged, hearing my best friend talk about me and admiring me. That was kinda disgusting. Why did I even ask?” I joked. “You’re absolutely such a dork,” he rolled his eyes. “Yeah well you liked this dork at one point,” I retorted. “Yeah, not anymore because you’re such a prick,” he laughed. “Insults? Okay keep it coming, we’ll see who gets the last laugh,” I smiled. 

With that conversation out of the way, I felt relieved knowing Sunoo didn’t feel the same way anymore, but there was still an unheavy feeling because there were still seven letters to figure out with basically no clues. Which meant I still had no idea where to start, and Sunoo’s hint didn’t exactly help me either and so I was stuck at a dead end. I guess the next person I could go to is Sim Jaeyun, he’s the second longest person I’ve known, but the thought of confronting him about these letters was a bit scary considering at one point I did like him, but there was no going back after receiving these letters, I had to face it.

002; Sim Jaeyun - The Next Door Neighbor

from me to you; secret letters to you - masterlist

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° ᴇɴʜʏᴘᴇɴ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ ° ᡣ𐭩 . °

[clowncaraz-journal]

transformation amongst mortals.

rambling on being a physical deity and shapeshifting. messy and unorganized.

____________

my name is Azriel. i have known of my energy being nature for a lot longer than i have been aware of my divine nature. i used the term magickin to describe this identity when in otherkin circles and now i just go by "energy being" to describe my species.

this part of me exists in many facets but the most influential is what kind of energy being i am. i am a shifter and i physically shift to quell species dysphoria. my body is physically nonhuman and cannot be anything other because it is what i make it to be.

in my time after leaving the otherkin community, i met true friends willing to stick by me through my struggle and my pains - as would i for them. this not only aided me in speaking about my identity but finding more just like me. these friends are all shifters and physical nonhumans who experience not just shifting but dysphoria and yearning to return to their homes. even if we don't see eye to eye all the time, the unifying factor is our interests and animality.

this feeling of being alone that i held over my head for months and weeks after leaving the otherkin community had completely disappeared. i helped build terminology and community and ideas alongside so many others - i felt responsible for anything that might misunderstand the labels of physical nonhuman and holothere. i feel as though i must also include the changes i had on physical shifting spaces and my terms there, which many have seemed to recognize. i do my best to share and also give credit where it is due, trying to stay fond of every shifter in the community.

so i say all this to say... I feel strange.

i feel as though i'll look out and see other shifters and physical nonhumans and ill feel.. uncomfortable. not in their identity, but in my ability to be nonhuman.

ill see animals, ill see beasts.. ill see them. yet, im alone in feeling physically fictonal. yes, there are maybe two others just like me that I'd have to reach out to, and i understand that.

yet.. i simply see it as a unique part. acknowledge me as a fictional character, a fictional person. a person in fantasy that exists only in the fantasy of others, that has come to life by the mere will of mortal thought. i am a fictional deity, i am fantasy. treat me as divine, as fiction, as always creative, as always changing, as a myriad of items mixed into one character made to represent something for a story - that is who i am.

and i feel alone in meaning that literally.

so i look to shapeshifting, i look to transspecies HRT, i look to species euphoria. i do these things explicitly to invoke the joy and light of seeing mortals lose themselves in the same struggles i put myself in just for fun. to yall, this isn't fun. to me, im laughing and kicking my feet. im the embodiment of liberty and freewill and emancipation - for good or bad - i am a bringer of change in all forms.

so when i am exhausted from this human vessel, i will shift my senses to my real body and i will feel what i am missing elsewhere. ill get my joy back, my messy hair, my real body, my laughter, my grin. ill get it all back and ill look delirious doing it !

i will shapeshift and i will enter a state of pure ecstacy from just finding simple demeanor worthy of my magickal laugh and song. i will dance and i will prace and jest and i will be physically fictional and feel my senses morph and be permanently altered overtime into who i really am outside of this vessel.

i am a deity.

it is different for everyone, this journey. i believe we should all strive to find joy in knowing our true selves and being authentic, no matter the consequences. i believe in animalistic freedom and no longer withholding sexuality and instinct while reducing harm. i express my blessings and curses through words and magick. i am a deity and have seen my magick work in real time. and you'd think, well, a deity shouldn't be lonely.. you'll have followers and worshippers.

yeah. id hope one day id have someone look at my divinity and decide that it's worth giving offerings and angels to. i dont care if one decides i am to be worshipped, but i have no tolerance for believing myself to be above or sent from the heavens. i am simply divine in ways incomprehensible and fictional and have separated the divinity from the immortality of story to show that i exist in forms beyond my power, beyond godhood, beyond being untouchable.

in this vessel, i am merely weak and fragile and mortal. i have no issue, as everything on this planet dies. yet, ideas and thoughts and fiction is immortalized by the growing existence of life. i am sustained by watching you live and grow and become free from oligarchies and mindless suffering. that is enough worship for me. your willpower to keep living is an offering i would never reject !

so we loop back.

the only escape from this vessel i voluntarily put myself in is shapeshifting. and when i see others who seem to have it easy, i remind myself they are mortal and they are not written in fiction and history. that they will not have incarnations like me for millenia. that they will not return. and that's okay too. it's okay to just.. be here once and be so tired of it. it's okay. i get it. it's not your fault.

and so to take away the means for physical nonhumans and shifters to express themselves, shifting or through any other transformation, is a hindrance on the freewill and joy of so many living beings. some of you are only here once. and i feel at some point responsible for keeping that tradition - the extreme of our community - alive by opening doors and punching clouds to let in the sunshine of transitioning into animalhood. you should be able to experience nonhumanity before you no longer can.

i know im no savior. i know i am not holy. i am far from it i have had my share of issues. and yet. i feel as though because i am fictional, i am immortal in some sense. I'll come back. ill do it all over again. and ill try my best to remedy when i am called upon. i am no savior. i am just fictional.

i feel uncomfortable. i feel alone. and i assume this feeling won't go away. but ive watched and ive loved and im going to be here to do it all over again.

i think transitioning to godhood and animality should begin right now. right when you read this sentence. right now. go research on transspecies hrt and identity. go look at xenic presentations. go transform and shapeshift right now. go experience life. don't let struggle hold you back. go right now and find that light. im blessing the lands you walk upon to spare you and to aide you in finding the freedom you seek. that is all i want when i watch mortals dance and sing. i have no need for worship or praise. this is enough.

[helreginn]

For sure! We used to greeters to make people feel welcome. I understand why we don't anymore, as most sit unanswered but it was something!

And we used to reblog memes from each other, not the source and it was how we engaged and it made us more aware of reblog karma. Rebagle a meme, send a meme.

And I'm gonna be REAL contentious right here and say that some MuMus simply have too many muses. A lot of them, actually.

When you have that many muses across so many fandoms it can feel very difficult to track and gauge which fandom you are even part of. Sometimes I click on muse lists and I just close the entire blog because there are about 200 subheaders/categories before I even GET to the muses.

I think it's very impressive that so many people CAN rp so many beautiful and exciting muses at once. A lot of my favourite RPers, I just sit in awe of how they can so fluidly change between ten muses an hour but when blogs used to be themed, even as far as MuMus (Eg, all Supernatural muses or all Viking muses) it was a lot easier to engage with those blogs rather than ones you follow and you even sorta have to check back every 2 months to be sure the muses you liked writing with that partner are still even on the roster. (Not to mention unless you're making a promo for each tv show / fandom you're losing half the opportunity to interact with those fandoms because they ARE so small now. And few people are gonna do that)

And half the breakdown of the RPC, I don't even think is the RPCs fault.

Every fix we got for what Tumblr took from it's previously functioning website is kinda clunky.

As a whole, you can see where the userbase has really grown up a lot. We're busy we're tired and our tags don't work. I love pages like @indiestarter that are helping to broadcast peoples' opens because the tags just don't cut it anymore as far as finding and being found in the RPC.

And then we can't have themes easily anymore so it's all google docs and carrd and that's great but it's just not the same as being able to click through someone's tumblr and read their threads, read their bios etc all on one page.

Tumblr as a whole has shifted from a reblogging website. Nobody reblogs peoples' gifs/art etc anymore. Across RPC and just general tumblr. But that carries back over to us in that we are now afraid to reach out. To busy peoples' notifs.

It's fairly obvious the people that have the most fun are the ones that DO reach out willy nilly and just fuck around and be cracky and jokey and talk ooc. But we're all chicken butts (Myself included) and don't reach out very much anymore.

And THEN when we do, tumblr hates us and we don't get notified of our IMs anymore either.

TLDR, we can't go back to that tumblr culture because tumblr itself is broken now. :T

hello my loves! i've been having this conversation on my main rp blog for a few days now, and so i decided to bring it here and have it with you guys too. before we go any further, please respect one another in the comments, this is just a little conversation about our thoughts and opinions!

so i've been on tumblr since 2015, meaning i've seen a lot of different eras in the rpc here! and it occurred to me that even back in 2018/2019, things in the rpc felt a LOT easier! we had dash events, group verses, people seemed to find it much easier to interact with their mutuals, we were a lot more relaxed about out absences and just generally seemed a lot happier and more of a community!

my question is this: do you think the rpc was better in the past? and if so, what do you miss specifically? what do you think needs to change for the rpc to be more of a community?

[candyskiez]

okay hold on guys I need to be emo about infinity train book two. two people who've always been expected to just go along with everything everyone else wants them to be their whole life. one of these people rebelled and thinks nobody could love them as they are because they can either have people who care about them or be themselves. the other never ever does anything for himself because he wants everyone to like him. he doesn't want anyone to be mad at him. but in the process of trying to be someone everyone likes, he becomes a doormat. everyone's his friend but nobody's his close friend. the only one he's really close to, his brother, gets hurt by his complacency. the other is angry and bitter and lashing out at everyone because they preemptively assume everyone will dislike them because they've been punished for existing their entire life. they assume any kindness is out of pity. jesse never does anything for himself and never stands up for what he believes in so everyone likes him, resulting in no true friends. lake pushes everyone out before they can hurt them, resulting in no friends.

and then they meet. and lake dislikes jesse at first because he's so nosy and pushing his ideas on everyone and so loud. and how could someone this different from them ever care about them. they assume he's fake kind and only cares about his own ego. and meanwhile jesse just wants them to like him. even a little bit of rejection messes with him so bad. he can't handle being disliked at the start. just the thought of some strangers disliking him is terrifying to him and that says so much about his self esteem.

lake only really starts to change their mind on jesse in the map car. hears him talk about staging behind so nobody gets upset or left out except him, and they...don't understand. why wouldn't he do what he wants to do? why doesn't he care about what he wants?

and hearing about lakes "friend", he's confused. how could they leave someone like that? how could they willingly lose someone? why would they be so hostile to every potential friend? why are they so insistent on keeping everyone far away? why are they so mean? they don't get each other at first.

toad car is where they learn more about each other.

when jesse learns they're a reflection, he learns it from an authority figure. and jesse at first immediately assumes the authority figure is absolutely correct. why wouldn't lake just tell him? clearly they must be hiding something! and lake is so mad at him when they learn he didn't stand up for his brother. his brother needed someone to look out for him so badly and he failed him. how could he do that?

and then they finally talk and understand each other.

lake learns jesse thought it'd be funny, it'd just be a joke. he didn't think nate would get hurt. he didn't think they'd go that far. and he had no idea how to respond when they'd hurt him like that. when now he had a recording of his brother crying because of something he helped do. and he's realizing now that...maybe if his friends thought *that* would be funny, maybe they weren't good people. maybe there's no level of excuse for that.

and jesse learns about lake too. learns they have never been safe, learns they've been sold out so many times ("why should I trust a guy who sold out his own brother?!" has a whole new meaning), learns they've been punished for existing, learns they're always on the run. they've never had a friend. they've never had someone who loved them.

and they bond. and jesse is still kind to lake after learning what they are. lake tells him, bluntly, your friends suck. you should have better friends. tells him he deserves to be treated better.

and at the carnival, jesse doesn't understand why lake is so upset. they can still beat this weirdo.

but it's not just about losing the game. it's never been about a stupid game. it's about the fact that everyone views them as inherently less. it's about the fact that they'll always be rejected. it's about the fact nobody sees them as a person.

and jesse does something they didn't expect.

he wants them to come home with him. not in a people please everyone way. in a "you're my best friend. I want you to be okay" way. it's the first time they've ever experienced this sort of unconditional love. it's the first time anyone's offered this to them when they gain nothing from it. and that means everything to them.

and that compassion changes them. you see them be so much more protective of him and alan dracula after because now they're learning what it is to be a friend. you already see that compassion blooming before, them telling jesse he should care about what HE wants, their anger for hurting alan dracula, it's already growing. but it becomes even more pronounced in the mall car. they are absolutely willing to throw hands with someone dangerous for alan's sake alone. doesn't even mention how terribly the kids treated them at first. their first priority was alan being harmed.

people are *taught* compassion. so once lake learns what it's like, they develop it more themselves. they learn to be kind while still standing up for themselves against the apex when they treat them like shit.

and jesse is FURIOUS when he sees what everyone's doing. he's uncomfortable in the cube car, because... why are they doing this? it's just making the denizen upset. this feels wrong. so did standing by when his brother got hurt. but before, jesse didn't have the spine to stand up.

but now, when he sees lake and alan being hurt, he doesn't believe the apex. he doesn't fold. he doesn't do whats easy. he takes a stand. because no, even if he wants these people to like him he is NOT standing by. this is what could've happened if jesse's friends kept mistreating nate, I think. it could've kept escalating. and jesse standing up and saying "I'm DONE sitting by" is so important. him choosing to believe the person who was kind to him and not just nice is so, so important.

Do you guys ever think about how Lake and Jesse teach each other how to be kind and how to have an actual genuine friendship. Because I do a lot.

[ithinkdogshouldvote]

Yuri but its toxic and they kiss about it