#and im just. in a vulnerable mindset right now

[stil-lindigo]

scammers are scum of the earth in a time where every dollar counts, so just make sure to block @/esth-care, @/ann-qm as well as any donation link that leads to anah qussim.

[acid-ixx]

I’m new, I just read your fic about neglect reader. I haven’t read through your blog yet but I am so excited after reading this fic. I am an emotional wreck right now and my curiosity is eating me alive with this question “Does reader know about Jason? Will they ever met? Ever have a platonic relationship together? Will Jason be more of a brother to reader?”

I’m sorry I speed through the fic and tears are in my eyes I couldn’t think straight BUT I notice that Jason is hardly there so I’m curious. Please this is such a brain rot, it’s way past midnight after I read this cause I keep stopping to cry.

major (?) spoilers below.

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

hello anon !! im so happy ppl are getting more exposed to the content i have written so far. anyways, i can't believe i also got others to cry bec i did too when i was writing 😭

anyways, to answer ur question: yes! the reader will meet jason and he would actually be the first sibling you would meet after you have left the manor. the way he would turn yandere for you is a different approach to how the others would be because in the prequel, it has been stated that you had your fair share of encounters with him.

"will they ever have a platonic relationship with him/see him as a brother?" maybe, maybe not. because your meeting with him would all be a blur to you, and jason's obsession would stem from the trauma he had experienced, causing him to be more protective of you.

you're not in your best mindset and you're vulnerable walking through the streets of gotham and all alone? oh god, only a dumbass would do that— but once the red hood recognizes your face and the way you carry yourself so pitiably, he immediately tries to take you in his arms just as he should.

but the moment you push him away? tell him to fuck off despite your drunken state? the moment you cry and tell him you could deal with everything yourself without his help or anybody else's? you just remind him of himself and that triggers his first spiral into yandere-ism.

it's the way you share trauma, the way you both feel immense anger. he should've noticed sooner because you two would've been as close as peas in a pod. and yet he failed you by being a hypocrite. you were literally taken into the manor right after his death and discarded like you were mere trash. he should've taken you away when he had the opportunity to but he was too caught up in his feat of revenge.

yet the worst part was that he had taken notice of tim before he did you, and jason had momentarily hated you too because he thought bruce had replaced him. if he had looked through that veil of contempt that he had for you, and saw just how neglected and in need of attention you are, then he would've taken you under his wing.

but he didn't, and he had done the same thing to you as most did.

so take it as you will when i say you're more or less going to be closer (albeit unwillingly) to jason than anybody else because unlike his other siblings who are bound by their vigilante duties, your big brother jason wouldn't mind shooting any creeps who think they could touch his precious angel.

and he gets it, too, angel— you hate him, you hate them all and that's valid. but you can't just walk out in the streets alone and expect to be home in one piece; so leave it to him to scout your apartment alright? leave it to your big brother jason to intimidate the goons who try to stalk you when you're not looking. even if you don't want him near you, you'll always find warm food by your table and a note reminding you to take care of yourself more often.

it hurts when you rip the paper to shreds but it breaks his heart even more if you refuse to touch the meal he would leave for you, because that probably means you saw him as danger more than anything else. and he doesn't know it, but you're already planning to make a run for it now that you're under red hood's radar.

it's obvious that you have no experience when it comes to living by yourself, so please don't fucking push him away and let him protect you from any harm. your self destructive habits only causes him to become more protective of you and it only lets him stalk you more often to ensure nobody would touch his precious angel.

just like dick, you'll be treated more like a child than that of a young adult, but at least jason has the concept of personal space compared to your eldest brother. but still, jason wishes to hold you in his arms.

heaven forbid if the joker ever got his crummy fingers on you. jason would go berserk.

little does he know, little does your family know just how much they had lost the opportunity to keep you in wraps inside the manor.

they should've never let you out in the first place.

[kroosluvr]

the celeste celexcity kroosluvr swap au (i don't have a good name for this yet)

basics bc i haven't decided much yet

UHHH basically what it says on the images... akira is playing on maruki's side and they don't know if it's just to be a contrarian or if he actually believes in it. but akira in this au is very ends-justify-the-means + the fact that he's a dead man so he dgaf that it's the "wrong decision." he won't be there to see it anyways, no matter which route they take, but at least in the fake reality umm One version of akira kurusu is happy!

engine room and stuff plays out as normal i imagine those black mask plot beats r the same

+ post engine room, in 3rd sem akira's personality doesn't rlly change all that much. hes always been Shrewd Scammer Silver tongued untrustworthy bastard type and nothing changes even then. there are moments when he seems more 'vulnerable' but also sumire+goro cant be certain if its an act either

i think akira has a "well if they both hate me thatll make things easier" mindset regardless

shido is still goro's dad and all that and akira works for shido for whatever reason and he learns abt that and holds it over goro's head the same way he grates on sumire abt kasumi

o yeah akira wasnt like Particularly close w kasumi (he isnt particularly close w anyone) but they talked casually. he never rlly met sumire. it's funny when he meets 'kasumi' bc like obviously shes lying LMAO but he just genuinely doesnt care enough to find out (<- akira very selfish and just focused on his own goals on his lonesome). either way his interactions w her are funny bc hes like Hahahh yeah... (What hte hell isgoing on. Whatever)

also i think this goro doesn't meet all the pthieves/confidants in the same Order as canonverse akira, like i feel like he'd "team up" with yusuke first somehow (ake/kita fan THUMBSUP EMOJ)

sumire basically thesame. i changed her earring color frm gold-> silver just for differentiation pruposes (and itll fit better w her pthief design in swap bc itll be differnetntn!!! yay!!) uhhh but shes kinda more sardonic out loud thanks to akira being annoying

shes rlly embarrassed abt being "kasumi" to goro and so shes all like distancing herself like "sorry i know it was stupid of me and i totally get it if u dont trust me anymore bc i wasnt who i said i was" etc but goros also like thats in the past and also we kinda are the only ones in the world rn so we just have to put that aside for now and also kick akiras ass

THATS AL I CAN THINK OF RN it's kinda vibes right now bc im never good at figuring out entire plotlines LMFASOPFJS024320 falls over. Major plot holes probably and shit wont make sense it's a big JUST TRUST ME + i just wanna draw random stuff w them moment ummm uhh uh runs

[chondrichthyes-x-mantodea]

I think one of the biggest infringements on a humans non-physical rights is the desecration of identity. Therefore, women are suffering tremendously. But you never hear about that. Even statistics will be skewed in order to prioritize males because God forbid one of those matted, stinking animals experiences anything negative. Of course, our job as women is to make sure NOTHING touches them. Wahhhhhhh, male suicide.... women attempt more. Men love stats until stats prove them wrong. One statistic says males commit more and it needs no further inspection, but stats show males commit more than half of violent crime, and it's not plausible. It's not my fault males own more firearms. Im tired of the male victim mindset.

Im tired of males taking feminist rhetoric and, in such male fashion, spinning our work to say its really MALES who are hurting. Im tired of walking on eggshells in front of males and their liberal feminist dick riders when it comes to this. People act like I'm Satan for not loving the same people who are taking our right to health, even my mental health, through refusal of medication. But no one cares to ask how this is impacting women's mental health.

It has always been a fact that in a heterosexual relationship, the dynamic has the woman serving the males' needs. Be it excusing a man lashing out at his wife who is battling cancer or a man telling his wife, of whom he is expecting a child with, that he won't "look down there" while shes in excruciating pain. A man who then refuses to touch his wife after their child is born. "He's probably stressed." "Men dont handle that stuff well." It has to have them at the center for it to be considered true emotion, and that is the irony.

I experience this with my father. He can't remember the simplest things about me, but he's "just not doing well mentally... Okay??? Me neither? That's why all of these studies surround shit like their inability to communicate and being lonely.

Their emotional well-being is not womens issue. They'll do studies on how men lose their emotional support... but what about women. How many women felt supported emotionally by husbands? Because last time I checked, men were asking wives for sex a day after enduring childbirth. Men were leaving wives bleeding after their fetus naturally aborted because they "were afraid of the blood." Men were still sitting watching football while their wife, who was 8 months pregnant, was cooking and cleaning dishes. Men have always made their happiness about their personal well-being. Women derived happiness from the people around them thriving

Men can't cry? Oh, poor babies. They can't cry or their manhood, their most precious manhood, will be threatened. Unfortunately, I can not cry either, or else I'm hysterical, but I understand how that's not as pressing as your ego. A mans pride is threatened by vulnerability in some rare cases, compared to a woman's sanity.

When a male cries in grief he is confronted with belief. Its made human and genuine. When a woman cries in grief, it's her animal maternal instincts pushing through, and people rush to infantilize her for 3 seconds before forgetting what she was even sad over. Losing my Peryite recently has made me really recognize this pattern

If you're a man and get offended over this, stop and think for one second. Did I invalidate your emotions, or did I call out the fact that you attach every sentient thought you have to being a male? Men can have issues, but not because they're males. I hope yall soon learn that something doesn't have to be designated "boys only" in order for it to be genuine, I know that's what you've been taught.

I know I said I'd do a deep dive into emotions, and I kinda did now. I was going to combine how media proves the male emotion craze bullshit wrong, but I kind of separated them into two posts.

[traciekitten]

Sonic 3 spoilers!!

DAMMMMN SHADOWW YOU DOIN HIM DIRTY

(footage from here)

just oh my god. wow. this is my favorite scene in the movie, it hasn't stopped bouncing around in my head since i left the theater because there's so much to unpack here. i just HAVE to let the thoughts out of my head. some of these points I wouldn't have even thought of if i hadn't seen other people talking about it.

Starting with the thing i could feel curling up in the deep recesses of my brain while the scene was playing out: Shadow is trying to goad Sonic into killing him. Shadow doesn't even bother trying to fight back once they're on the moon and Sonic has the upper hand. He thinks Sonic is ready to do the final blow, and when he hesitates, shadow just keeps egging him on, telling him to "finish it." He’s not surprised, this is what he expected. it’s exactly what he was trying to accomplish with his taunts. (did he gesture for him to aim for the heart immm very normal and sane)

He's already charged the eclipse cannon. in his mind his life is now pointless, especially since soon it will go off and they'll all die anyway, and he may as well escape the pain of his grief sooner rather than later. He needs therapy DESPERATELY my goodness.

But also, he wants to die at Sonic's hand. He's encouraging Sonic to take revenge on him for hurting Tom. At this point, its a matter of morals and values. Shadow, now that it wont interfere with the plan, will not deny Sonic his revenge now that he's "won" it because he believes Sonic has the right to take it. All these revenge plots are justice to him.

And he wants sonic to take revenge, because it validates that belief. He points out throughout the fight that sonic is betraying his values to pursue revenge, “making the same choice [he] did.” Here's Sonic, someone who opposed his choices, making the same ones he called Shadow out for. Dying by sonic’s hand here would have proven him right in his mindset, and he was smug about it the whole time.

it’s worth noting, too, that if Sonic had chosen to take revenge, Shadow and Gerald’s revenge plot likely would have come to fruition as well. Without Shadow, the eclipse cannon would have destroyed earth. In choosing to stay true to his values, being vulnerable and honest, and showing Shadow that he could choose as well, Sonic stopped that from happening. He saved the earth and Shadow.

this scene is so loaded compared to anything in the first two movies that it blows me away. Also i honestly didn’t expect him to forgive shadow so quickly after that, he didnt even know if Tom was gonna make it. Says a lot about the little blue guy. I also didnt expect him to go off the rails, that was a pleasant surprise. I love when he gets serious!!

Looking at the beginning there again, do you think sonic sped up because he caught sight of shadow? Wouldn't be surprised if super forms come with super senses.

now if youll excuse me im gonna take the next 3-5 business days to finish processing this movie, might talk about it more might not, but i will be listening to other people talk about it definitely

[cimmerian1275]

Huuhhhh, i dont think ive ever clarified what point in the timeline my Wait For It AU actually occurs, have i?? RAMBLE TIME!

Donnie gets double mutated really early on, sometime soon after the first episode, and its going to start right at the beginning of season one. Im going to follow the episodes a little, i dont plan to do a full on rewrite since those can be extremely boring when you already know whats going to happen. But i do enjoy a good rewrite when its done strategically and adds something meaningful to the story.

Theres a specific episode or two that im absolutely rewriting with a really good twist planned for it because the opportunity is far too good to ignore, i have plans and ideas and if you could see me right now id be rubbing my hands together mischievously like a fly >:) But outside of that, its going to be more of a "what happens between the episodes" kind of thing.

I want to explore how Donnie tries to keep his secret throughout the shows events. How long can he even keep it secret for? And how do his new abilities change the course of what happens in canon? He tends to bottle up and suppress his feelings and opinions allot. Did you notice how long Donnie held his tongue during "Shell in a cell" when Mikey was getting on his nerves? He only snapped at the end, and afterwards quickly pushed his feelings down like he never had them in the first place. Ever noticed how long it took for him to blow up and reveal that he feels useless to the team without his tech when mystics can replace him? How the visit to Witch Town—ages later—was when he eventually opened up a little, and that was told to April out of everyone, not any of his brothers.

If he can bottle all of that up for so long, without anyone else ever truly noticing how deep it goes, how long can he hide his double mutation and his feelings about it? If he can simply pretend the problem away with a cloaking brooch, how long until something comes along that shatters that illusion and makes him face the changes? What if something happens that requires him to accept and embrace the differences?

Theres a bunch of episodes where i can throw in some exiting plot twists, and absolutely dive deep into Donnies mindset like i want to >:D I really love a good character analysis, but never found the right fanfic that quite reaches the itch in my brain when i want to read a Donnie-centric story. Theres loads of small points that im going to explore because i cant seem to find anyone else whos addressed them in the way i would have, and adding on top of it all- Donnie just gets an L from the universe when you add double mutation to the mix heheh.

Except its not a complete L for him—dont get me wrong im a lover of adding angst—but i want to balance my own AU with the positives Donnie will end up finding in life aswell. Loads of stories just shove the MC through a personally specialized hell, but dont counteract that with any of the upsides that might exist because theyre just seeing how much trauma they can give them before they crack xD

WFI!Donnie now has wings, and sure theyre a massive vulnerable liability in battle if someone were to target them, theyre extra limbs he never wanted in the first place. Hes even further from being biologically related to his brothers now, just another thing making him weirder and more different and unable to fit in... and will make his life generally miserable at first when he tries to keep it all secret—but he can fly now. Now theres just a little more to him than his tech, he doesnt NEED to rely on his flight shell for travel by air when he has wings, but does he realize that? Will he use it? Does he know about all of the new opportunities this gives him, is he able to change his perspective?

I have allot of juicy little inner dilemmas like this to throw at him hehe, theres so much scheming going on in my brain about this AU and i really gotta work on writing it down. Theres plenty of things i can hint at via rambling, without spoiling the plans i have in store >:D

[whywasthissohardtomake]

fuck. I made the start of a post but i dont remember what was in it. OH! Jason saying, “oh, it’s not the monster you’re scared of.” Hurt my soul in unfathomable manners.

anyway, im kinda bad with names, but ms ellis (miranda) is who uhhh the french guy who met with paul (why do i remember paul’s name but not the more important french one) called up to accept the offer from i think.

also, fuck, why do i keep forgetting these urghhh. Idk. I found the whole conversation on killing jason to be really interesting. & yeah, jasons very fight right now. Which makes sense. Hes been fighting basically nonstop for 6 months with his 5 most trusted people & now all of that has been ripped away & he has no security. He keeps saying hes in a better position than when he showed up on palamustus (im definitely spelling that wrong) and while hes stronger now, hes still extremely vulnerable. And hes lashing out a lot. Which hes noticing & being upset about. But i also get it. If hed had this power on the vane estate that whole thing wouldve gone very different.

oh my god. DONT TRY & KILL JASON MIRANDA. ITS GONNA GO REAAAAAALLY BAD.

whos the outworlder??? I gotta knooooowwww. IS IT SOPHIE OR BELINDA??? WHOOOOOOO PADMA??? FARRAH FARRAH FARRAH OH MY GOD ITS FARRAHHHHHH YEEEEEEEESSSSS

Ur strength isnt the isssuuue buddy. U need more friends!! I found the “gotta get stronger” mindset fine, but now im worried its hampering jasons ability to find more helpful paths.

GOD DAMN IT JASON!! STOP KILLING PEOPLE. :(((((. My lad really does need to stop. If nothing else than as a training exercise in dealing nonlethal damage.

also they really did just kill miranda. Thats fun.

jason flying off the handle was so funny & good. I loved it. He really has been thru the wringer.

damn im loving these books. AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY FARRAH IS ALIVE I LOVE HER

as always, pls no spoilers!!

[darcytaylor]

I have been following few blogs on the Luke - Nic situation, and yours is the only one with the take there was nothing between them. So Im very curious about your take. The issue that personally affects me here is that after living 30+ years in this world, we pick certain actions and behaviours as related to romance and attraction right, but now I feel gaslighted (not by you, but by Nic & Luke) as if my understanding about romantic attracti9j language has always been wrong (this also triggers my trauma because I was never sure about romantic attraction towards me and had spent hours and hours dissecting behaviours by those I thought were attracted to me).

However, I am unable to fit their behaviour and body language in this special bond framework. There were many genuine, natural which went PR. This is where Im confused and feel gaslighted. What are your thoughts on this?

So coming back to your theory about, its a special kind of co-worker relationship, I totally agree this is possible. When you do something you are passionate about thats life changing and meaningful with someone else you can develop a special bond. Probably something similar to the bond soldiers or medical profession share being in a traumatic environment with utmost trust in each other. In Nic & Luke's case unlike other leads they had 5 years to develop the friendship, understand the material and brainstorm between them. I can see how that would create a special bond especially when you have to be vulnerable and comfortable with each other in those intimate scenes.

However, I couldn't fit their behaviour and body language during the promo tour under this special bond framework. There were many moments of genuine connection between them which seemed to go beyond PR or platonic friendship. This is where I feel gaslighted. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think those moments were just friendship and nothing more?

I have never said that there was nothing between them (because at the end of the day I don't know what their relationship is). But I ultimately think that the actions shown don't necessarily scream "we are in a relationship". I say this from experience, I know the bond that co-works can have, and just because they smile at each other, touch each other, and are comfortable saying certain things, it doesn't make me conclude that they are together.

I also think that when I see their interviews, I am not looking for proof of a relationship between them. I think if you go into it with that mindset, that there has to be something more, you make yourself see it and then you will start to believe it. Maybe this is ultimately why you feel gaslit, and I am sorry that the whole situation had made you feel that way. It's an awful feeling to have for sure!

I do think that when actors do promo tours there will always be PR behind it. But just because it is PR doesn't make their interactions not genuine. It can be both all at the same time.

Also, even when people have co-worker relationships doesn't make loving interactions not genuine. I have stated a couple times in my responses to asks what I truly think of these types of relationships/friendships. And they have the ability to be intense! They have the ability to be more than a 'regular' relationship/friendship.

Here are things I have said in the past. It may help you better understand what I think a co-worker relationship can be like and why I think that their actions don't necessarily mean they are something more:

"I do think they mainly have a co-worker type relationship/friendship. But that's NOT saying they aren't close. It's me saying that it is a different type of relationship/friendship, because co-worker friendships do have the potential to be way more than a 'regular' friendship. (I'm also saying this from experience)"

"When you are at work, your co-works tend to see you more than your family and friends. They see you at your worst and at your best, and they have the potential to see the real you."

"I do believe that they are friends with a very close bond. After filming something like Bridgerton and going on the months long promo tour, there will be a bond between them for life, even if they don't hangout regularly after this. I think it is that bond that people are seeing that makes people believe otherwise."

"I have been working for many years, and I have insanely close relationships with coworkers. Coworkers understand a part of you that nobody ever will! And then to top that off with them having to do intimacy scenes, I can understand why they share a bond (that nobody will probably understand)."

[pisceantarot]

hi, if you're still doing free readings, i would like to know if I'll understand and accept detachment even more easily and withopen arms in the coming times?

im GK, female and a scorpio moon and my relationship with my mum isn't the best.

hi GK!! when i was reading your message, i was immediately overwhelmed with a feeling of compassion. spirit is wanting you to know that this isn't your fault, and that they're supporting you and guiding you through it. (i saw spirit wrapping their arms around your energy, which to me signifies they're very protective of you and just want you to be safe.)

i see that you've been forced into survival mode, in a way? like you're always the one who has to be strong, who has to take care of others, who constantly has to fight. i hope one day (soon) you'll be able to be in an environment where you can be more vulnerable and just allow people to take care of you in the way you wish to be cared for. this is possible for you, is what spirit is saying! i'm getting the sense that you will get there for sure, so don't give up on yourself!!

as for detachment, i think the issue right now (or the phase that you're going through) is that a lot of things trigger you. or that, when you get triggered, you get triggered really badly. this might take a big and bad toll on your emotional health. this is normal! it's a phase we all go through when we learn to practice detachment, and it's all about finding a mindset that works for you + finding ways to soothe yourself that actually make you feel at ease.

the cards do show that you might purposely trigger yourself by creating arguments or reacting in a way that you later regret. it's like the people around you know which buttons to push in order to get you upset. i wouldn't be surprised if they're doing this on purpose, to blame you for the lack of healing they've done. in my head i'm basically getting the sense that you need to switch things around. what do you do when you get triggered? do the complete opposite now, basically!

for example: if someone picks a fight with you (or tries to), do you fight back? maybe next time you could try staying silent or pretend like it doesn't hurt you/leaves you cold, even if you're burning up inside. then, after you're somewhere safe, use this energy to journal about the experience, move around your body until all the pent up energy is gone, listen/play some music, keep yourself busy until you finally feel like you can breathe again. or the opposite: if someone tries to pick a fight with you (or tries to), do you stay quiet? maybe try to say something back, however small it might be, that shows they can't pick on you without facing any consequences.

detachment in this case is really about learning how to soothe yourself when other people trigger you. it's not like you don't care, it's just that you're able to make peace with it. and you'll find this peace by treating yourself with love and kindness and understanding!! i'm wishing you the best GK, good luck!! 💗🍀

[mikafan]

why can beastzai comfortably kill himself permanently where canon dazai doesn’t?

beastzai just makes me sad but i like the implications it leaves about canonverse dazai tho those implications can also just be drawn out from canon itself

- (canon) dazai knows how to kill himself in a meaningful way but avoids doing so; if he’s had previous, sincere attempts, theyve consistently been foiled

- tho dazai might seem like a grey character he sees the world through binary opposites/black and white, which is applicable to beast in the sense that dazai’s search for a purpose in life has two possible outcomes: fulfillment and lack of fulfillment. in his own eyes, dazai’s life is useless or useful - if useful, and his purpose is carried out and seen through, then dazai’s life has no meaning anymore, leaving him to die in peace. dazai is successful killing himself in beast when he isnt in canon verse because he has fulfilled his purpose and believes he extricated himself thoroughly enough from the lives of ppl he cares about that his death will have no long lasting emotional impact. said reason for living was to save oda and ensure the world was fit for him to survive in

- then, maybe in his earlier years his desire to find a reason to live could be considered a survival tactic, unknown to even himself. without a distinct purpose to fulfill dazai can’t truly feel that he is “done” or “finished”, and oda’s wish for him to live on the side of light has no real end. where dazai would otherwise see desire to live as a scale with two distinct sides (fulfillment/lack of fulfillment) oda’s wish bypasses the scale altogether and has no discernible end, thus dazai cant be fully fulfilled and feel comfortable enough to successfully kill himself.

to 16 year old dazai, young and extreme in the way teenagers are (i dont say that in a mocking way or one that makes light of the teenage experience) he had finally found a goal when he received the onslaught of memories of canon dazai, a goal he was so desperate to see through that it both countered his apathy while exacerbating his self sacrificial mindset and behaviors. dazai sees himself as a vehicle of action rather than a human, which persists in canon verse too. dazai is less the person moving the pawns and more of a pawn moving the other pawns in the “right” direction - he wants to make it so that his removal from the chess board will not impact his side’s victory, that things are done the way they need to be that his broad goal, whatever that may be, is reached with or without him. but that vehicle is all he is (in his mind) - where other people are distinctly human, he will only ever be a pawn, entirely depersonalized, and thats only exacerbated in beast

thing is canon dazai doesn’t really counter this extreme way of viewing things but at the stage he’s at now he can’t simply remove himself from the lives of everybody he knows. people rely on him, they need him, they like him, and he can’t just pull away without consequence. even if his personality is greatly exaggerated and his amenability to expressing vulnerability is still extremely low he does not have the choice of being a mere vehicle of action anymore because of his awareness that people care for him

so, wary as he is of not having that control over his life, of not feeling like he can comfortably die whenever he wants, dazai’s always wanted to feel human and be perceived as human, and he likes having people to protect. even if hes scared that theyll face the consequences of being associated with him dazai will ensure theyre safe which is.. a really broad and almost endless goal to take on !and he is aware its a group effort instead of a scheme that can be seen through by a mastermind. he needs to communicate with the people he cares about (ADA), needs to have faith theyll protect each other just like theyll protect him, even if his instinct fights against it and hes scared to leave things, tasks, etc in hands other than his own

im not saying dazais particularly good at being vulnerable or relying on other people and i think his mindset is still unhealthy and self sacrificial but canon dazai is so embedded in the ADA in a way beastzai wasnt in the PM at age 16. beastzai had the option to “[erase] himself from the narrative” (i love this phrase i stole it from hamilton) but canon dazai quite literally does not. hes in too deep!

[viasdreams]

Via babes how do people just find others who they like and the other person also just happens to like them back??? 19 years of my life and not a single soul has been interested in me. I was just talking to a friend of mine who I used to like but don't anymore (he doesn't know this) and even he was venting to me about the same damn problem. Now the only explanation for this that's keeping me sane is that somebody probably liked me but were just too scared to say so. But that is probably not the case. So now instead of actually waiting for someone to magically like me I will be taking gf applications. Anyone who wants to date just for no reason at all plsss for the love of God let me know🙏😭

-🍄‍🟫 (going thru a moment of weakness rn and will probably snap out of it soon but if anyone is going thru the same thing find me pls I will date anyone atp just to feel loved)

now i could give you an actual answer thats rooted in the prolonged youth mindset of gen z and our reluctance to show emotion and be vulnerable, which affects the rate at which we form bonds and get into relationships (🤓) but thats boring sooooo i wont do all that

youve met probably thousands of people in your life, and a bunch of them have definitely wanted you, just nothing ever came of it. one day, something will, so try not to fret too much. but its ok to fret a little🙂‍↕️

the worst thing you can do tho is get with someone just because you want to be loved. thats how we get trapped in bad relationships, so make sure you fully consider things before diving in !!!

im sorry youre going through it right now babes, but it will get better !!! <333

[anthonycrowley]

same anon w the braime fic - IM SO GLAD i also did the classic tv show > ao3 > actual asoiaf source text order of consumption lol i wasn’t sure if you were abstaining from fic till u read the books or smth idk but anyway. if u did a fic rec i would totally eat that up

braime dynamic is so far up my street u are so right about horny subtext + slow reveal emotional vulnerability, plus a side of enemies to lovers or like. prisoner/captor to reluctant allies to lovers. man i haven’t thought about them in so long… are there any other pairings in the show/books that u enjoy?

naaaah fuck that noise, no offense but i needed to be in the right mindset to read multiple thousand plus page books and i like fanfic. sorry. i guess. i’m here now. anyway.

i could talk about them but. god. clenches fist. i’ll go insane. and people will stop listening to my commentary. i think you got it except metatextually they are destiel. like what happened to destiel happened to them. two nickels. absolutely bonkers.

aaaaaand as far as other pairings. hm. i think largely i tend to gravitate towards character’s plotlines rather than ships - i find arya fascinating but not don’t really care all that much about gendarya, although i don’t mind it. - braime being the exception. or if i do find pairings interesting they’re usually more because of platonic reasons more than romantic. if i had to pick. hm. and before i say these we are going to remember this is the problematic ship book and i am not necessarily saying they are morally good just very fun to explore. jokes aside stavos has some hilson energy going on. what do you want from me. i think samgilly is cute (this is helped because sam is one of my faves). is it weird if i say robbjeyne is cute. jaimecersei i actually do enjoy in a these two are toxically codependent in a fun way and i wish people could explore it in a way that’s not incredibly black and white because there’s A Lot there. sansatyrion but i think that one might get me shot (and once she’s older preferably). robbtheon i get the appeal of and makes me insane to think about but i don’t like read fic for them. sansamargaery because sansa deserves nice things and i think they’d be good for each other. my hottest take i think is that jon and sam should explore each other’s bodies and i do feel this wholeheartedly and unironically. that’s all i can think of off the top of my head there’s so many fucking characters in this book. why are most of my ships straight. feels wrong. or maybe that’s just what happens when the female characters are good. idk.

[sockori]

shmupdate 🧦

very long, hastily written, but a look is appreciated

greetings- to those who are somehow still lingering around this account or came up upon it during my desolate time off. it is sock. or sockori.... or raven... my name is actually raven (they/it, 20 yo disabled autistic goth nerd whatever the fuck). howdy

im still on the 'undetermined hiatus' so to speak that i described in my leaving post, but i will say right now that i have no near future plans on returning. in the tags on my newest art, i mentioned my naruto hyperfixation (of like. 6 years i think) finally died out and other interests have long since captured my autism full force. for me personally, when i lose a special interest like this so drastically, i just full on abandon it for as long as it stands. however, this isn't the only thing that made me leave, and i think its time for me to be completely honest & get some weight off my chest.

i made this account around the cusp of turning 14, during a god awful pubescent era where i acted as any other edgy teen does and i'd much rather like to forget these days. what im saying is i was not in the right mindset at all when i exposed myself that much & got the attention that i did. a dismayingly giant coping mechanism i had in my youth was being online 24/7 because i had no one in reality to lean on let alone feel comfortable talking to about anything that was happening at that time. this of course leads to what the kids call these days being 'chronically online'- desperate for some sort of assurance or interaction, i crawled into internet spaces i shouldn't have been for an also incredibly unsupervised child using the dangerous worldwide web.

yes, naruto was apart of this, as well as other interests i had at the time. throughout my journey i met unsavory people, suffered abhorrent things like stalking & gr---ming, saw things i didn't deserve to see, did a bunch of stupid shit an angsty teen does, i believe you understand the rest. i am in no way proud or gleeful about any of these years and have some very sour memories tied to fandom as a whole, not just naruto, and i really don't like reflecting on them. so, unfortunately, this account sorta became a bitter reminder of what i went through as i grew up & finally matured and sought to recover. that's the first part of why my activity fizzled away & i began backing off from internet use entirely.

the second part is sasori. yes, the puppet man. sorta the sole reason i made sockori in the first place. as the sasori enjoyers following / who followed know, this puppeteer has an incredibly unhealthy philosophy and worldview (if the carefully preserved corpses turned puppets and complete lack of humanity didn't give that away), and is safe to say entirely detached from his reality to a nhilistic and suicidal extent. when you autistically fixate on a character like how i did, sometimes this character's rhetoric can seep into your own without you even realizing; Especially when you're a spot where you are incredibly vulnerable and psychologically unstable, as i was in my youth. now i didn't go around believing you should uhhh murder people and preserve them Obviously- actually i began to believe that perhaps there was some peace in obtaining a robotic existence. maybe emotions were useless, perhaps nothing truly mattered, my life didn't matter, art in eternal in the sense that death is scary and i should avoid it at all costs, why make connections with people when they just die or leave, cant trust people at all to help me, xyz. anything in these lines. without going too uncomfortably deep for everyone's sake and mine, it fucked me up severely. i suppose in a way it relates to how he uses poison. his toxins got right into my nervous system, but the pain i felt from those toxins was the only thing i could really rely on at the time, so i just let it happen. such is the depressing case of coping in the worst spot of your life.

cant help but feel incredibly strange telling the tale, as it sounds so obscure doesn't it, but media can truly get inside your psyche like this if a consumer isn't careful. not sure if anyone else out there fell into a similar headspace dealing with interests in this nature- but regardless. what i mean to say is, sasori is now a kind of content i cant consume anymore. i am in a way better place now, have grown wise and balanced with careful recovery and patience, and of course have grown out of whatever teenage nonsense i was on. sasori, who was once the only thing my autistic traumatized ass could lean on, is now an extremely dark shadow on my life. yes i see this homicidal anime puppet dude from a fantasy ninja anime and get psychological distress. he's somewhat of an aggressor or abuser to me now, which is tragic. ive been actively avoiding everything even vaguely relating to him, be it the art of puppetry, anime clips, robotic/sci-fi genre, whatnot cause i just. man. i dont wanna go back there. shouldn't have to explain why at this point. ptsd at its finest

feel like ive been honest enough. sasori enjoyers out there who were just around to enjoy what i made, anyone i happened to be good friends with during my time on this account, this doesn't have anything to do with you guys. i appreciate everyone dearly for supporting me and cheering me on in whatever i made despite all the hell & anguish that was taking place beyond the keyboard. im just glad that i managed to find some way out and get the help i need before i gave up & took my own life, which depressingly i almost did a handful of times. carrying the horrors is an exhausting burden to bare sometimes, but that does not mean i can't look back on the good parts of the era too. and seeing you all happy and sharing my memes or whatever made me ecstatic and at least a little bit hopeful for the future. fortunately that little spark of hope grew into something more. thanks for being a light in a very, very dark room.

that being said, i leave you all with this: i am not dead, just greatly changed, a new person at last freed from apathy & exhaustion, with now enough room to finally grow. the memories will never truly fade & my disabilities will be a part of me until i pass on, but at least now i can manage them a lot better than ever before, surrounded by way better people who love me for who i am. i will hang on the best i can. i wish for you to do the same. find freedom and happiness wherever you are. take care. happy trails

trans rights. i eat fascist souls. free palestine

[mete0rbyt3]

Rewrote my sendolo analysis on a doc sooooo here you go

(im posting this on wednesday, also from my phone)

original post with scr33nshots of the discord ramble version of this

Not really an important note; some of this is just stuff I found while fact checking myself via the official wiki. I’m an amateur analyzer, don't kill me.

Little is explained about the "ritual" Seinru performs, but we know enough to figure out how it affected Edolon. Edolon was obviously afraid of losing Seinru because of just how much he depended on them. Edolon knows he isn't Seinru and that he's nothing like Seinru. Seinru is also the only person Edolon has ever been shown allowing himself to be vulnerable around.

[text from page 1103]

SEINRU: What reason would I ever have not to trust you?

EDOLON: i'm just not convinced i have what it takes.

EDOLON: i'm not like you.

EDOLON: i'm still afraid. i'll still feel the pain, even when you don't.

EDOLON: what if i can't do any of it?

EDOLON: then all i'll have accomplished is adding more misery to my life.

SEINRU: That's not going to happen.

EDOLON: and this is not a role i was meant to play.

Seinru places all of their trust into Edolon and for not knowing a better word, pretty much guilt trips him. She knows Edolon would never want to hurt her so they try and convince him that he’s perfectly capable of going on without them.

[text from page 1104]

SEINRU: All that pain would be rendered meaningless.

SEINRU: All your effort, wasted.

SEINRU: You don't want that, do you?

EDOLON: no, of course not.

EDOLON: and i wouldn't ever wish to disappoint you, either.

EDOLON: but there's still a part of me that feels like i can't do it on my own.

EDOLON: i need you, sen.

SEINRU: All of this is for you.

SEINRU: So please, don't reject this gift. Don't let me down, now of all times.

EDOLON: i...

EDOLON: i won't.

EDOLON: i love you.

SEINRU: I know you do.

SEINRU: I promise you'll be okay.

SEINRU: I've taught you everything you’ll need from this point on.

SEINRU: Besides...

SEINRU: As long as you're still here, I'll never truly be gone.

The ritual allowed Seinru to become subconsciously a part of Edolon. This was earlier implied by Seinru saying “As long as you're still here, I'll never truly be gone.” [page 1105]. It is later confirmed that Seinru is still “alive” as the homunculus [as seen on page 2292].

Another impact Seinru had on Edolon was leaving him with the thought that the world belongs to him. In Snowbound Blood, Seinru states, “Everything, from here to obliteration, belongs to you.” While Edolon is known for his quote “THIS ROTTEN, DESOLATE CARCASS OF A WORLD...BELONGS TO ME!!!”

Note: This next part isn’t too important to sendolo as a relationship, more so just Edolon. Sorry, I got side tracked while wiki fact checking myself.

Edolon's sigil is Purification, which kind of goes hand in hand with his mindset of the world belonging to him. To put it simply he wants to “cleanse the world” He starts this by targeting Repiton Corp. (really he ONLY targets corporate) The reasoning for this is his relationship with The Executive. Otherwise known as Clarud Enthral, Sestro’s ancestor. The Executive originally raised Edolon to become head of corporate. He was eventually seen as unfit for the position, leading to Sestro’s (and Hamifi’s) reduplication.

This can also technically be a reasoning for his belief of the world belonging to him. As in it quite literally is. Edolon claims that his ancestor (whom he refers to as the holistic blight) was Clarud’s soulmate. The Executive did in fact raise Edolon, which is why he says he is the rightful heir.

Seinru’s sigil is Fusion, which is pretty self explanatory at this point but I’ll summarize it here. Seinru performs a ritual, allowing them to become a part of Edolon. In other words, fuse with him. In a literal sense, Seinru becomes the homunculus. Not really sure what else to say about this.

[malewife-jeff-sadecki]

also bats eyes reptilian blink style. 2 & 5 😈

now these i shall answer while stimming bc i care SO BAD abt these wips. not to say idc abt the other ones but these are near and dear to my heartttt

#2 is a power rangers au of stranger things and its the lore bible for the au that i plan to write fics based off of bc im back in my power rangers hyperfixation era (dare i even say special intrest because. i kept my power rangers knowledge from childhood to this day feel free to ask my opinions)

#5 is fic based on the 2012 movie Chronicle thats SO good and kingsley vanweezer for sure put me on i definitely reccomend watching it

posting snippets under the cut but. does a little dance

#2

The best scientific minds of the time came together to create a type of mobile armor that allows for the wearer to have more of an edge in combat. More agile, more focused, more resistant. Rumors are that the primary creator based each on positive traits when the team behind the devices assumed the users would be young adults. This gimmick wasn’t well known, but as the testing of the devices progressed, having a mindset that matched each device benefitted the user in more of a psychological manner than physical. However, the colors of each device and armor were made to simply keep track of agents and what they possessed. Each device contained a tracker to find the others if they were lost. 

The first agent found was assigned the first device, Red, once he exhibited exceptional abilities in both powers and combat. Therefore, Red was associated with leadership, and Agent One, Henry Creel, was destined to be at the head of the task force along with seven other members. More than seven people were found with strange powers, and the unfortunate motivation for training as many as they could find was for…security, in case the other agents were to be inadequate in combat to the point of, for lack of better phrasing, death. But the agents were trained to avoid that at all costs. Perhaps they were trained too hard.

When Agent Eight, Kali Prasad, escaped, she stole the Purple device to aid her. Of course, since her abilities were tied to altering perception, she took the one colloquially referred to as “Mind” and disabled its tracker. Authorities are still searching for it, but in the meantime, all evidence of her and the stolen device were wiped from the data kept by Hawkins Lab, just to cover their tracks. Training became harder, security became stricter, and Agent One was integrated into said security. 

This was a grave mistake.

#5

Andrew's eyes scanned Steve's face, then flickered his eyes to the ground. "Stop looking at me like that." 

"Like what?" Steve moved his hands back to his sides, but kept the same proximity.

"Like...that." He wanted to say like that sunset we watched, all bright and blinding. Pure radiance. Like I'm worth looking at. 

Steve lowered his brows and head, trying to catch Andrew's eyes. "Do you not...like me looking at you?" he asked cautiously.

Andrew looked up into soft brown eyes. Ever since they'd gone in that cave, he's felt more connected to Matt and Steve. Not in the bonding time way, but in the actual mental link. The more they hung out, the more he could feel the subtle ebb and flow of their feelings; it created a fun feedback loop when they were giddy, but overusing powers had them all reaching for napkins. Right now was no different. Steve was so vulnerable, so earnest that Andrew could feel the slight spike in anxiety in his chest (or was that his own?) yet the cautious adoration in his eyes.

[foggysirens]

What are your favourite blorbos/ships and how did you get into them?

Ps. Hope you feel better soon :D

ohohohoh this was such a great question and ill have you know it made me so happy to walk around work just thinking about my blorbos and getting to share them 😭

im gonna put a read more because fair warning i have a lot to say ajshsjdhks

OKAY SO first off (and a surprise to no one) luke skywalker is my ultimate blorbo. my special guy. and it’s funny cause i grew up knowing of star wars, watching the movies with my older siblings, but i never really cared about it- it wasn’t until years later i even thought about watching the movies again and it was only because my sister pressured me into watching the mandalorian and i fell in love. and then i decided to rewatch the original trilogy and that was it. the movies just found me at such a perfect spot in my life to really dig into my brain and not let go- it was year two of the pandemic, i had no friend whatsoever and a day to day that just left me feeling dull, ya know? and then all of the sudden there were these old movies about hope. about being able to become more than the sum of your parts. there was luke. luke really just embodies that feeling of hope that i was so without. and i think it’s those set of circumstances and then me just being a big science fiction/space nerd in general really made luke my perfect star wars blorbo. and then add dinluke into that!!! i could go on and on about dinluke (and i have) but fundamentally i think it’s the dynamic of these two powerful people who carry these two, seemingly opposing ideals coming together and finding that they have more in common and more to offer each other than either ever thought they’d receive is just *chefs kiss*

MOVING ON TO katniss everdeen! my first and forever blorbo. i know i don’t hunger games post here a lot but thg and katniss were both really big parts of my development. the hunger games introduced me to fandom and fanfic and katniss introduced me to the mindset of never giving up. no matter when you feel like you already have, you never give up. that small acts of bravery are just as important as big ones. she inspired me to stick up for myself and feel courageous, to shoot a bow and wear my hair in a braid far too often. to look out for those i love with all i can give. i love her strength and her wit and how she is smart and so dumb and young all at the same time. and her and peeta as a couple i think just really set the standard of love to me. like after everything, all the fighting and death, they choose to live for each other. they help each other live for themselves. that you don’t have to be someone else when your with the right person. that you can be vulnerable and ask real or not real?

NEXT IN LINE is mickey milkovich from shameless. i am rotating him around in my mind CONSTANTLY. its safe to say that he was my favourite character on the show and his penchant for crime, swearing and anger really struck a chord with me. he’s a character that feels so much but is rarely given the chance to express it. he’s constantly going against the odds and trying to do what’s right. it may not be right, or legal for that matter, but it’s still what he believes. he’s a character that’s gone through so much pain and suffering and is still able to flip off the world. he gives me the confidence to say fuck you to people who are treating me poorly and smile because i know that the parts of me they judge and think are weak are the parts that make me swing back harder. he’s violent, he’s gross, he’s pathetic and he’s one tough motherfucker and shit if getting to see him get a happy ending, get to be out and to get someone who loves him as he is for all those reasons didn’t make me hope id get that one day too. (DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED OF GALLAVICH. REALLY DONT. ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THEY ARE A GOD TEIR OTP AND NOBODY DOES IT LIKE THEM ALL THE OTHER SHIPS OUT THERE DONT EVEN COME CLOSE)

NOW WE HAVE nadja from what we do in the shadows! what can i say about nadja apart from the fact that she is simply, and always will be, the vibe. i am holding her in my hand and she will bite my palm and then maybe kiss me a bit. i am obsessed with her. she deserves it. but more than that!! nadja is just so unapologetically herself and her ambition and humour are unmatched, but she also has such a sweet soft side that i can’t help but just scream and cry and throw things around my room. she is also a vampire and that is so fucking cool. she’s a leader, she’s a dumbass, she’s going to rip people throats out and honestly? she’s everything i want to be when i grow up. and her and lazlo are just goals. like the speech he gives about not caring about what anyone thought about her when he married her because none of that mattered to him like she did?? dead. im dead.

AND LASTLY a newer blorbo entering the ring- jamie tartt from ted lasso! now, i will gleefully admit i hated jamie through season one and much through season two but holy shit did ted lasso pull off a redemption like nothing ive ever seen before. really and truly, i did not expect to connect with jamie as much as i did. the last season but the character growth and storylines they gave him that shed some light onto why he was the way he was and how they connected so many things in with the earlier seasons that just made you see things in an entirely different way??? like he’s still a cocky prick, but he’s a cocky prick you can’t help but love and cheer for. and the scene where he tells roy that he’s just anxious and tired all the time really fucking hit home for me, even when they did end up playing it off as a bit of a joke, i just felt that moment so deep in my bones and funny little manchester-man jamie earned himself a spot in my brain.

OKAY IM DONE NOW thank you so so much for the ask and i apologize for the behemoth that this post became but GAH i just love my blorbos!! and thank you for the well-wishes! im finally home from work and am feeling better:)