#and im just. in a vulnerable mindset right now

[mariasont]

oh i love this, ki you are so right!!!!! parentification 100% is the foundation of hotch's entire identity, it makes so much sense!!!! and i totally think that it's so interesting how that parentified child mindset follows him into adulthood in ways that he doesn't consciously register. yap session below the cut

one thing that really stands out to me is how hotch is constantly trying to sort of earn his role as a protector, even when no one is asking him to. it's not just that he feels responsible for others, it's that he believes his worth is directly tied to how well he upholds that responsibility. because parentified kids are conditioned to believe that their values come from how much they can provide & how much they can take on. and for hotch, that definitely manifests in how he never sees his job as something he's simply qualified, it's something he has to prove that he deserves.

that's why he pushes himself so hard and why he physically cannot delegate even when it's in his best interest. and the wildest part??? it's not even just at work. he does it in his personal life too. he's always trying to prove he's a good husband, a good father, a good brother (im literally ab to start tearing up rn) as if he needs to justify his own place in those relationships.

and that brings me to something else you talked about which is his people pleasing because it's so true that parentified kids learn to suppress their own needs in favor of keeping the peace, and we see this in hotch constantly. but what's interesting is how selective he is about who he lets himself be vulnerable around. he hides his struggles from people who depend on him, but he's like weirdly receptive to authority figures showing concern for him.

like the way he completely shuts down when his team worries about him but then lets rossi call him out and actually listens? or how gideon was one of the only people he'd ever vent to in the early seasons? i feel like that's definitely a sign that parentified kids don't see their own struggles as valid unless someone above them acknowledges it. it's almost like he needs permission to admit he's struggling. if it's his team? he's fine. if it's someone he sees as an authority figure? then maybe he'll admit something is wrong.

anyway i just really appreciated your whole breakdown because its so deeply accurate and it has me feeling way too many things and i could also talk about the background of hotch's character forever, but thank you for putting this into words you're amazing and i need to lay down now!

please write about the parentification of aaron hotchner im on my knees begging

HAPPILY. GLADLY. Apologies in ADVANCE for this wild breakdown!!

According to the NIH, Parentification—also known as adultification, spousification, child carers, or role reversal—occurs when youth are forced to assume developmentally inappropriate parent- or adult-like roles and responsibilities.

Background on Hotch that we know or can assume from his very vague explanations of his upbringing: 

His father was abusive (source: “…some grow up to catch them…”)

His father had affairs that everyone knew about, even his Mother, but nobody said anything. Hotch confronted his father about the affairs and followed him. (source: “...lust can be lethal….”)

Hotch’s father died when he was a teenager from lung cancer or a heart attack (source: …s1 vs s2)

Hotch started fighting his father back (source: “...did he start fighting back…”) 

Hotch felt pressured to follow in his father’s footsteps despite clearly not liking the man (source: …s1 convo with Sean)

Hotch felt pressured, even subconsciously, to always guide Sean in the right direction and pushed him more than a sibling should (source: s1 convo with Sean)

Hotch married his high school sweetheart (even though the timeline on this is a little wonky) 

Hotch has a son whom he very much pressures himself to be different from and carries an immense amount of verbalized and insinuated guilt with

Things that, in my mind, point to parentification being the base of Hotch’s caretaking skills and central personality (without trying to come off as too word vomit-y because as someone who has been treated for parentification and studied this deeply…IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME TO SEE HOTCH): 

Despite knowing he can’t catch them all…he still has the mentality going into each case like he will, and we’ve seen him get overwhelmed by that when he fails. Oftentimes, a parentified person will feel the extreme need to be a peacekeeper. In Hotch’s case, we see him get extremely involved, oftentimes emotionally, when children or father/child scenarios are at the basis of a case. He feels the weight of this responsibility without maybe realizing it consciously. 

Parentified children are given responsibilities that are not age-appropriate. Hotch knowing his father, who he probably already had distaste for, was cheating on his mother, is not a weight he should have had to carry. His father was not only careless enough to have an affair and disrespect Hotch’s mother, but to go about it in a way that everyone knew about it and likely caused a young Hotch shame, embarrassment, and the need to figure out the truth--which he did. 

Piecing the puzzle together, Hotch’s father died when he was a teenager. Given that maybe he was away at boarding school when this happened, he likely felt responsibility for not being there or the need to step up. Being his father was sick, and unclear of how long he was sick, Hotch may have also had to step up in different ways for his family, like financial support before or after his death. 

Hotch and Sean did not have much of a relationship growing up, according to Hotch, but I don’t truly trust him as a narrator based on Sean’s interactions with him. It’s likely they never had much of a brotherly relationship from the beginning, given the family dynamics and age-gap, but I could see Hotch feeling the immense need to guide Sean post-his father’s death. 

Despite not caring for his father, he still wanted to be like him. Following in his footsteps to be a lawyer and wanted Sean to as well. He wanted nothing more than to be accepted by his father at the end of the day, something parentified children have to learn will never happen. 

Parentified children often feel like their families will not make it without them, an immense weight on their shoulders. We see this both through his relationship fighting to guide Sean, but somewhat at times with his relationship with Haley/Jack. 

Seeing and experiencing abuse from his father and witnessing it to his mother, when Hotch meets Haley, he likely (not saying love was not there!!) at a young age, saw the opportunity to re-write and have the perfect family. This notion of perfection and wanting things to be perfect with Haley always kind of corners him and sets him up for extreme failure. Parentified children oftentimes become perfectionists and suffer from things like OCD (not saying Hotch does), but we do see his attention to detail and how stressed he can get about these things. 

This is the kicker, too; I think oftentimes, there was a polarizing force of having this “perfect” family he never got and being the “best/better” dad than he had, and his need to still PLEASE his father or live up to those dreams of being a hard worker and following in “justice” footsteps. So much so that it leads to his divorcefromh Haley, which KILLS him. It reads all over his face the failure he feels as a husband and as a father. We even hear him with Rossi get defensive, saying how much he tried. He tried too hard, and unfortunately, you can’t be both--the best agent and the best father. You shouldn’t have to be both!

Most parentified children have trouble taking care of themselves and often neglect their own needs. The man is internally bleeding for who knows how long (which having witnessed first-hand the effects of someone who was internally bleeding…there are SIGNS). He ignored symptoms and likely did not get regular testing to follow up and be sure he was okay. He wasn’t cleared to fly after his ear incident, yet did so anyways. So many things. He puts himself below the last priority on his list. 

And lastly, parentified children are oftentimes chronic people pleasers. He takes on so much at work, absorbing so many other responsibilities to make things happen and not disrupt the peace of his team, that he works himself into the ground day in and day out.

ANYWAYS. This topic, I could go on forever and bring up legit case-by-case where his wounded child comes into play because for all 12 seasons he’s involved in, it comes up. Whether that was conscious or not, I don’t know…but from one parentified child to another--I FEEL SEEN BY THAT MAN.  

[stil-lindigo]

scammers are scum of the earth in a time where every dollar counts, so just make sure to block @/esth-care, @/ann-qm as well as any donation link that leads to anah qussim.

[acid-ixx]

I’m new, I just read your fic about neglect reader. I haven’t read through your blog yet but I am so excited after reading this fic. I am an emotional wreck right now and my curiosity is eating me alive with this question “Does reader know about Jason? Will they ever met? Ever have a platonic relationship together? Will Jason be more of a brother to reader?”

I’m sorry I speed through the fic and tears are in my eyes I couldn’t think straight BUT I notice that Jason is hardly there so I’m curious. Please this is such a brain rot, it’s way past midnight after I read this cause I keep stopping to cry.

major (?) spoilers below.

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

hello anon !! im so happy ppl are getting more exposed to the content i have written so far. anyways, i can't believe i also got others to cry bec i did too when i was writing 😭

anyways, to answer ur question: yes! the reader will meet jason and he would actually be the first sibling you would meet after you have left the manor. the way he would turn yandere for you is a different approach to how the others would be because in the prequel, it has been stated that you had your fair share of encounters with him.

"will they ever have a platonic relationship with him/see him as a brother?" maybe, maybe not. because your meeting with him would all be a blur to you, and jason's obsession would stem from the trauma he had experienced, causing him to be more protective of you.

you're not in your best mindset and you're vulnerable walking through the streets of gotham and all alone? oh god, only a dumbass would do that— but once the red hood recognizes your face and the way you carry yourself so pitiably, he immediately tries to take you in his arms just as he should.

but the moment you push him away? tell him to fuck off despite your drunken state? the moment you cry and tell him you could deal with everything yourself without his help or anybody else's? you just remind him of himself and that triggers his first spiral into yandere-ism.

it's the way you share trauma, the way you both feel immense anger. he should've noticed sooner because you two would've been as close as peas in a pod. and yet he failed you by being a hypocrite. you were literally taken into the manor right after his death and discarded like you were mere trash. he should've taken you away when he had the opportunity to but he was too caught up in his feat of revenge.

yet the worst part was that he had taken notice of tim before he did you, and jason had momentarily hated you too because he thought bruce had replaced him. if he had looked through that veil of contempt that he had for you, and saw just how neglected and in need of attention you are, then he would've taken you under his wing.

but he didn't, and he had done the same thing to you as most did.

so take it as you will when i say you're more or less going to be closer (albeit unwillingly) to jason than anybody else because unlike his other siblings who are bound by their vigilante duties, your big brother jason wouldn't mind shooting any creeps who think they could touch his precious angel.

and he gets it, too, angel— you hate him, you hate them all and that's valid. but you can't just walk out in the streets alone and expect to be home in one piece; so leave it to him to scout your apartment alright? leave it to your big brother jason to intimidate the goons who try to stalk you when you're not looking. even if you don't want him near you, you'll always find warm food by your table and a note reminding you to take care of yourself more often.

it hurts when you rip the paper to shreds but it breaks his heart even more if you refuse to touch the meal he would leave for you, because that probably means you saw him as danger more than anything else. and he doesn't know it, but you're already planning to make a run for it now that you're under red hood's radar.

it's obvious that you have no experience when it comes to living by yourself, so please don't fucking push him away and let him protect you from any harm. your self destructive habits only causes him to become more protective of you and it only lets him stalk you more often to ensure nobody would touch his precious angel.

just like dick, you'll be treated more like a child than that of a young adult, but at least jason has the concept of personal space compared to your eldest brother. but still, jason wishes to hold you in his arms.

heaven forbid if the joker ever got his crummy fingers on you. jason would go berserk.

little does he know, little does your family know just how much they had lost the opportunity to keep you in wraps inside the manor.

they should've never let you out in the first place.

[kroosluvr]

the celeste celexcity kroosluvr swap au (i don't have a good name for this yet)

basics bc i haven't decided much yet

UHHH basically what it says on the images... akira is playing on maruki's side and they don't know if it's just to be a contrarian or if he actually believes in it. but akira in this au is very ends-justify-the-means + the fact that he's a dead man so he dgaf that it's the "wrong decision." he won't be there to see it anyways, no matter which route they take, but at least in the fake reality umm One version of akira kurusu is happy!

engine room and stuff plays out as normal i imagine those black mask plot beats r the same

+ post engine room, in 3rd sem akira's personality doesn't rlly change all that much. hes always been Shrewd Scammer Silver tongued untrustworthy bastard type and nothing changes even then. there are moments when he seems more 'vulnerable' but also sumire+goro cant be certain if its an act either

i think akira has a "well if they both hate me thatll make things easier" mindset regardless

shido is still goro's dad and all that and akira works for shido for whatever reason and he learns abt that and holds it over goro's head the same way he grates on sumire abt kasumi

o yeah akira wasnt like Particularly close w kasumi (he isnt particularly close w anyone) but they talked casually. he never rlly met sumire. it's funny when he meets 'kasumi' bc like obviously shes lying LMAO but he just genuinely doesnt care enough to find out (<- akira very selfish and just focused on his own goals on his lonesome). either way his interactions w her are funny bc hes like Hahahh yeah... (What hte hell isgoing on. Whatever)

also i think this goro doesn't meet all the pthieves/confidants in the same Order as canonverse akira, like i feel like he'd "team up" with yusuke first somehow (ake/kita fan THUMBSUP EMOJ)

sumire basically thesame. i changed her earring color frm gold-> silver just for differentiation pruposes (and itll fit better w her pthief design in swap bc itll be differnetntn!!! yay!!) uhhh but shes kinda more sardonic out loud thanks to akira being annoying

shes rlly embarrassed abt being "kasumi" to goro and so shes all like distancing herself like "sorry i know it was stupid of me and i totally get it if u dont trust me anymore bc i wasnt who i said i was" etc but goros also like thats in the past and also we kinda are the only ones in the world rn so we just have to put that aside for now and also kick akiras ass

THATS AL I CAN THINK OF RN it's kinda vibes right now bc im never good at figuring out entire plotlines LMFASOPFJS024320 falls over. Major plot holes probably and shit wont make sense it's a big JUST TRUST ME + i just wanna draw random stuff w them moment ummm uhh uh runs

[meansevika]

okay so very long thinkpiece about meljay and jayce' treatment of mel / the writers treatment of mel and how i think that all things considered she hasnt really won as much as we think she did

the thing about this that makes me so mad or rather sad (both, actually) is that we learn in season 1 how mel was brought up, that she didn't get to be soft and kind, that her surroundings were hard and rough just like her mother was, that love isn't a thing she knows like that especially not in relation to vulnerability. now if you think about media in general there is a pattern we know. the black woman is always the strong woman, the independent woman, the woman who doesnt get to be vulnerable bc of the first two points. so here comes this man she's trying to use not just for her own endeavors but for the good of piltover, clearly having a different mindset than her mother, and he cracks her open just like that. he's vulnerable with her and he lets her be vulnerable with him and it allows this woman this kind of vulnerability that she was never allowed to feel. she feels and she loves and there is someone who holds her and looks out for her when things go bad. he is his first thought after the bombing and hes so loving and endearing unlike her mother who is concerned, of course, but straight back to business too. and oh what a lovely thing that was to watch as a black woman who to this day still doesn't get to see this as often as we really should

so mel gets to experience something she hasnt before and you can tell it means something to her because when she gets back in act 3 the first reaction to him is an excited, hopeful one.

this is the man she cares deeply for and it is also the man who shes comforted before many times. something she needs in those very confusing times too. something she might be looking out for. something she might hope to get herself. some comforting after what shes been through for months. someone to share what is going on with her and how confusing it is to find out all those lies and secrets about herself.

until she notices how changed he is, how different he looks, so instantly she is worried. of course! who wouldnt be! she very likely didnt even know he was missing since its the first time we see her back in the city so she must've assumed he has been here and well for the whole time being (does she even know how long its been?) but it isnt fine as we know. she puts herself second! immediately! (and rewatching that scene now it actually makes me mad how she does that. and how anyone can question any of her feelings for him when shes immediately all jayce. or how in general people think shes only interested in her own goals) she asks this man who has shown her to be vulnerable around him and it BEING FINE, what happened, shes opening herself up to him, again, over and over, and he not only tells her it doesnt matter (what happened to him) but TURNS HIS BACK ON HER. he is literally shutting her off. he is saying with his body she does not get to do that. and for someone who has grown up like this, with a mother cutting off any kind of displays of weakness, this must be a familiar feeling, something that goes off like a bell

but she still tries! she still tries! she sees something is wrong but she tries to get comfort anyway, because this is jayce, right, this is the man she cares for deeply, the man who has opened this door for her and the door she's let herself through, the man who has always had compassion for her. of course she tries again. why wouldn't she? so she starts that something has happened to her but he doesn't even let her tell him what happened (actually it makes me so mad seeing this again and how crazy hostile he is towards her, its like im looking at the mel hating part of arcanetwt and him repeating beat for beat what theyve been saying for years) he doesnt give her room to speak, just takes it for himself, prioritizing himself and his own feelings. and, yes, figuring out the bombing thing and wanting to talk about it is valid and i think in general this could've been a great angsty way to deal with this topic IF they would've had the opportunity to talk this out properly but what happens instead is that the man that makes mel feel safe starts INTERROGATING her like she is a criminal that should be held for trial FOR SAVING HIM something she doesnt even undestand herself. and suddenly she is in a whole different position and i think by now she knows that this kind of compassion and understanding and room for vulnerability isn't part of their conversation anymore

she loses her composure and that of course isnt a first because she has started to be less put together around him, allowing her more room to "sway" but this kind of destruction is a different one because she feels at trial, feels cornered, feels like she has to explain herself but - and thats what is important - isnt heard. and i think that is something she knows very well, something shes grown up with, trying to explain herself and not being heard.

all of that happens while he is, mind you, still holding onto that hammer. something she surely notices too. the man who's usually quick to let down his defences around her, who isnt councilor talis or mister talis but just jayce around her, is holding onto that hammer like shes a threat. so he tells her he thinks shes lying and she asks him why he would think she'd do that, obviously, because her understanding of their relationship and their trust is a different one than his or at least this jayce that has come back from the arcane, because clearly this kind of understanding comes from somewhere and it comes from the times they've spent together alone throughout season 1 and a little in the beginning of season 2.

he throws at her that shes been using him, something that surprises her, because clearly she doesnt know what has happened, but she tries to explain anyway, because she doesnt know what has happened at least not in full (as you can tell by her reaction to viktor appearing, sensing the hostile mood between both, but also the way she reacts when viktor mentions the noxians intentions), and you can see that these thoughts of his are a result of months in the arcane alone with them and imagining conversations over conversations (although for me its still hard to understand how he grew that hostile towards her this quickly as if she were responsible for everything that happened but those are thoughts for a different post). he crashes out during that conversation, his face is warped with hatred and that is. all. for. her. to. see. and then BOOM goes the hammer off. mid conversation. a conversation that should feel safe with a man she should feel safe with but none of that is there. there is no space for her. (and yes i know hes aiming at viktors puppet but that isnt somethng mel is aware in that moment)

it all leads up to a fight and eventually they walk together and he apologizes, although very distantly and without much explanation, and despite it all, despite having good reasons to shut off and not share what she's feeling, she does. she talks to him about what is on her mind and they have a short, bittersweet exchange but it's just nowhere to what they've established in the first season. as a shipper of course that is super frustrating, but as a mel fan it's just sad to see that the person she felt safe enough to seek comfort in is just so closed off. but not only that, it's obvious they're parting ways and it's very obvious this is coming from his side and i think that is also why she so wilingly accepts it. she doesn't fight much back throughout their whole fight earlier either, she tries to explain herself, but doesnt demand that room for herself even though in this relationship she should be able to take just as much room for herself and her feelings as he does, but she doesn't. she just lets it happen and i understand it bc you have this man you trust and probably love and his first reaction to you is hostile when hostile has never been a response to her. he made a complete u-turn and of course that's off putting, maybe even scary, of course it shuts her down, makes someone who's so good with words and fighting just try to cause as little damage as possible because that is how she's grown up, isn't it?

and that is why i am sad about this. she learned that love doesnt have to look like her mothers and that being vulnerable isnt a weakness and its his doing but here she is met by this kind of hostility she only knows from noxus and it hurts even more that it COMES FROM HIM and over something as SAVING HIS LIFE when its clearly was an act out of love and not investment bc if i'd would've been just that than she would've saved viktor as well? but it wasnt about that. it was her subconscious making a decision and it was something her mother would describe as an act of weakness (theres a reason she gets renni to attack him bc she sees how fond mel of him is maybe even because shes been fond of a man herself once and she knows what itll do) and i think the worst part about it is that she doesnt ever get to truly articulate this or anything else and now that jayce is gone (dead? in a stone? who knows?) she won't get to ever probably. she won't get to say what she thinks and explain herself truly and she won't have anyone to confide in, to be comforted by or comfort. elora is dead, kino wasn't real and the real one is actually dead too, jayce is well whatever he is, and her mother died in her arms. yes, mel is a mage and that is fucking awesome and i was so happy to see her go off and get so many spotlights in battle, but shes also so fucking tragic actually. because here she is with a fuck ton of weight on her shoulders, the noxian army looking up to her, the whole name, not knowing who her father is or what any of her powers mean, the whole black rose thing, everything unresolved between her and jayce, the death of the people she loves, and shes all alone with it. shes all alone with it and she gets no one. man im just fucking sad that this woman got a glimpse of what it could be like to be loved and have someone to "come home to" just for her to have literally no one left like why do you hate black women so much why cant they get a fucking good ending and why cant they be fucking loved even when things get hard

also im lowkey mad that jayce got to find comfort in her lap so many times and not once did she get that in return, not even a squeeze of her shoulder, but dont let me get started on that....

[sharklovingaquarist]

I think one of the biggest infringements on a humans non-physical rights is the desecration of identity. Therefore, women are suffering tremendously. But you never hear about that. Even statistics will be skewed in order to prioritize males because God forbid one of those matted, stinking animals experiences anything negative. Of course, our job as women is to make sure NOTHING touches them. Wahhhhhhh, male suicide.... women attempt more. Men love stats until stats prove them wrong. One statistic says males commit more and it needs no further inspection, but stats show males commit more than half of violent crime, and it's not plausible. It's not my fault males own more firearms. Im tired of the male victim mindset.

Im tired of males taking feminist rhetoric and, in such male fashion, spinning our work to say its really MALES who are hurting. Im tired of walking on eggshells in front of males and their liberal feminist dick riders when it comes to this. People act like I'm Satan for not loving the same people who are taking our right to health, even my mental health, through refusal of medication. But no one cares to ask how this is impacting women's mental health.

It has always been a fact that in a heterosexual relationship, the dynamic has the woman serving the males' needs. Be it excusing a man lashing out at his wife who is battling cancer or a man telling his wife, of whom he is expecting a child with, that he won't "look down there" while shes in excruciating pain. A man who then refuses to touch his wife after their child is born. "He's probably stressed." "Men dont handle that stuff well." It has to have them at the center for it to be considered true emotion, and that is the irony.

I experience this with my father. He can't remember the simplest things about me, but he's "just not doing well mentally... Okay??? Me neither? That's why all of these studies surround shit like their inability to communicate and being lonely.

Their emotional well-being is not womens issue. They'll do studies on how men lose their emotional support... but what about women. How many women felt supported emotionally by husbands? Because last time I checked, men were asking wives for sex a day after enduring childbirth. Men were leaving wives bleeding after their fetus naturally aborted because they "were afraid of the blood." Men were still sitting watching football while their wife, who was 8 months pregnant, was cooking and cleaning dishes. Men have always made their happiness about their personal well-being. Women derived happiness from the people around them thriving

Men can't cry? Oh, poor babies. They can't cry or their manhood, their most precious manhood, will be threatened. Unfortunately, I can not cry either, or else I'm hysterical, but I understand how that's not as pressing as your ego. A mans pride is threatened by vulnerability in some rare cases, compared to a woman's sanity.

When a male cries in grief he is confronted with belief. Its made human and genuine. When a woman cries in grief, it's her animal maternal instincts pushing through, and people rush to infantilize her for 3 seconds before forgetting what she was even sad over. Losing my Peryite recently has made me really recognize this pattern

If you're a man and get offended over this, stop and think for one second. Did I invalidate your emotions, or did I call out the fact that you attach every sentient thought you have to being a male? Men can have issues, but not because they're males. I hope yall soon learn that something doesn't have to be designated "boys only" in order for it to be genuine, I know that's what you've been taught.

I know I said I'd do a deep dive into emotions, and I kinda did now. I was going to combine how media proves the male emotion craze bullshit wrong, but I kind of separated them into two posts.

[traciekitten]

Sonic 3 spoilers!!

DAMMMMN SHADOWW YOU DOIN HIM DIRTY

(footage from here)

just oh my god. wow. this is my favorite scene in the movie, it hasn't stopped bouncing around in my head since i left the theater because there's so much to unpack here. i just HAVE to let the thoughts out of my head. some of these points I wouldn't have even thought of if i hadn't seen other people talking about it.

Starting with the thing i could feel curling up in the deep recesses of my brain while the scene was playing out: Shadow is trying to goad Sonic into killing him. Shadow doesn't even bother trying to fight back once they're on the moon and Sonic has the upper hand. He thinks Sonic is ready to do the final blow, and when he hesitates, shadow just keeps egging him on, telling him to "finish it." He’s not surprised, this is what he expected. it’s exactly what he was trying to accomplish with his taunts. (did he gesture for him to aim for the heart immm very normal and sane)

He's already charged the eclipse cannon. in his mind his life is now pointless, especially since soon it will go off and they'll all die anyway, and he may as well escape the pain of his grief sooner rather than later. He needs therapy DESPERATELY my goodness.

But also, he wants to die at Sonic's hand. He's encouraging Sonic to take revenge on him for hurting Tom. At this point, its a matter of morals and values. Shadow, now that it wont interfere with the plan, will not deny Sonic his revenge now that he's "won" it because he believes Sonic has the right to take it. All these revenge plots are justice to him.

And he wants sonic to take revenge, because it validates that belief. He points out throughout the fight that sonic is betraying his values to pursue revenge, “making the same choice [he] did.” Here's Sonic, someone who opposed his choices, making the same ones he called Shadow out for. Dying by sonic’s hand here would have proven him right in his mindset, and he was smug about it the whole time.

it’s worth noting, too, that if Sonic had chosen to take revenge, Shadow and Gerald’s revenge plot likely would have come to fruition as well. Without Shadow, the eclipse cannon would have destroyed earth. In choosing to stay true to his values, being vulnerable and honest, and showing Shadow that he could choose as well, Sonic stopped that from happening. He saved the earth and Shadow.

this scene is so loaded compared to anything in the first two movies that it blows me away. Also i honestly didn’t expect him to forgive shadow so quickly after that, he didnt even know if Tom was gonna make it. Says a lot about the little blue guy. I also didnt expect him to go off the rails, that was a pleasant surprise. I love when he gets serious!!

Looking at the beginning there again, do you think sonic sped up because he caught sight of shadow? Wouldn't be surprised if super forms come with super senses.

now if youll excuse me im gonna take the next 3-5 business days to finish processing this movie, might talk about it more might not, but i will be listening to other people talk about it definitely

[whywasthissohardtomake]

fuck. I made the start of a post but i dont remember what was in it. OH! Jason saying, “oh, it’s not the monster you’re scared of.” Hurt my soul in unfathomable manners.

anyway, im kinda bad with names, but ms ellis (miranda) is who uhhh the french guy who met with paul (why do i remember paul’s name but not the more important french one) called up to accept the offer from i think.

also, fuck, why do i keep forgetting these urghhh. Idk. I found the whole conversation on killing jason to be really interesting. & yeah, jasons very fight right now. Which makes sense. Hes been fighting basically nonstop for 6 months with his 5 most trusted people & now all of that has been ripped away & he has no security. He keeps saying hes in a better position than when he showed up on palamustus (im definitely spelling that wrong) and while hes stronger now, hes still extremely vulnerable. And hes lashing out a lot. Which hes noticing & being upset about. But i also get it. If hed had this power on the vane estate that whole thing wouldve gone very different.

oh my god. DONT TRY & KILL JASON MIRANDA. ITS GONNA GO REAAAAAALLY BAD.

whos the outworlder??? I gotta knooooowwww. IS IT SOPHIE OR BELINDA??? WHOOOOOOO PADMA??? FARRAH FARRAH FARRAH OH MY GOD ITS FARRAHHHHHH YEEEEEEEESSSSS

Ur strength isnt the isssuuue buddy. U need more friends!! I found the “gotta get stronger” mindset fine, but now im worried its hampering jasons ability to find more helpful paths.

GOD DAMN IT JASON!! STOP KILLING PEOPLE. :(((((. My lad really does need to stop. If nothing else than as a training exercise in dealing nonlethal damage.

also they really did just kill miranda. Thats fun.

jason flying off the handle was so funny & good. I loved it. He really has been thru the wringer.

damn im loving these books. AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY FARRAH IS ALIVE I LOVE HER

as always, pls no spoilers!!

[darcytaylor]

I have been following few blogs on the Luke - Nic situation, and yours is the only one with the take there was nothing between them. So Im very curious about your take. The issue that personally affects me here is that after living 30+ years in this world, we pick certain actions and behaviours as related to romance and attraction right, but now I feel gaslighted (not by you, but by Nic & Luke) as if my understanding about romantic attracti9j language has always been wrong (this also triggers my trauma because I was never sure about romantic attraction towards me and had spent hours and hours dissecting behaviours by those I thought were attracted to me).

However, I am unable to fit their behaviour and body language in this special bond framework. There were many genuine, natural which went PR. This is where Im confused and feel gaslighted. What are your thoughts on this?

So coming back to your theory about, its a special kind of co-worker relationship, I totally agree this is possible. When you do something you are passionate about thats life changing and meaningful with someone else you can develop a special bond. Probably something similar to the bond soldiers or medical profession share being in a traumatic environment with utmost trust in each other. In Nic & Luke's case unlike other leads they had 5 years to develop the friendship, understand the material and brainstorm between them. I can see how that would create a special bond especially when you have to be vulnerable and comfortable with each other in those intimate scenes.

However, I couldn't fit their behaviour and body language during the promo tour under this special bond framework. There were many moments of genuine connection between them which seemed to go beyond PR or platonic friendship. This is where I feel gaslighted. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think those moments were just friendship and nothing more?

I have never said that there was nothing between them (because at the end of the day I don't know what their relationship is). But I ultimately think that the actions shown don't necessarily scream "we are in a relationship". I say this from experience, I know the bond that co-works can have, and just because they smile at each other, touch each other, and are comfortable saying certain things, it doesn't make me conclude that they are together.

I also think that when I see their interviews, I am not looking for proof of a relationship between them. I think if you go into it with that mindset, that there has to be something more, you make yourself see it and then you will start to believe it. Maybe this is ultimately why you feel gaslit, and I am sorry that the whole situation had made you feel that way. It's an awful feeling to have for sure!

I do think that when actors do promo tours there will always be PR behind it. But just because it is PR doesn't make their interactions not genuine. It can be both all at the same time.

Also, even when people have co-worker relationships doesn't make loving interactions not genuine. I have stated a couple times in my responses to asks what I truly think of these types of relationships/friendships. And they have the ability to be intense! They have the ability to be more than a 'regular' relationship/friendship.

Here are things I have said in the past. It may help you better understand what I think a co-worker relationship can be like and why I think that their actions don't necessarily mean they are something more:

"I do think they mainly have a co-worker type relationship/friendship. But that's NOT saying they aren't close. It's me saying that it is a different type of relationship/friendship, because co-worker friendships do have the potential to be way more than a 'regular' friendship. (I'm also saying this from experience)"

"When you are at work, your co-works tend to see you more than your family and friends. They see you at your worst and at your best, and they have the potential to see the real you."

"I do believe that they are friends with a very close bond. After filming something like Bridgerton and going on the months long promo tour, there will be a bond between them for life, even if they don't hangout regularly after this. I think it is that bond that people are seeing that makes people believe otherwise."

"I have been working for many years, and I have insanely close relationships with coworkers. Coworkers understand a part of you that nobody ever will! And then to top that off with them having to do intimacy scenes, I can understand why they share a bond (that nobody will probably understand)."

[quirkle2]

Any head canons about Zombie Mob and after he's cured?

hrrmmmmm still kinda changin little things around for how zombies work in general bc im indecisive but im gonna use this ask as an excuse to talk abt How He Works

the other day i was thinkin abt his protectiveness over ritsu, and how it only reaches so far before it makes a full stop. it Would seem like he'd be alarmed at ritsu being hurt in any capacity, but that's not always the case. rly, it depends entirely on how ritsu reacts to the injury

remember, zombies don't have a good grasp on past events beyond their turning—a lot of them can remember faces and names and basic concepts but most things are lost in the froth. since zombies don't feel pain and therefore do not feel the consequences of an injury, their association with things like blood and seeing open wounds is not negative—why would it be, when they've experienced nothing negative from them? it is simply a Neutral Thing in their eyes

however, zombies are still human, and when healthy humans are hurt, they usually scream or cry or Something. hearing another human yell in pain is often a little harrowing, and on pure instinct zombies will sometimes flock to this noise in a very innocent mindset of wanting to aid. the thought process of hungry zombies hearing that is a little different, and they will prolly try to eat whatever is vulnerable and hurting. zombies that aren't hungry atm tho will simply wanna check it out

hearing ritsu scream will trigger that protective instinct in mob. seeing his brother's arm torn to shreds tho? Only if he's actively acting distressed. if ritsu got a gash in his leg but he's toughing it out even as it seeps blood, mob will simply just.stare. right at the open wound. and be Unbothered. he doesn't quite understand anymore that a hole in ur flesh is painful—he does understand pained sounds, tho

if ritsu is actively upset for other reasons aka the 17 mental illnesses he's developed mob will start getting antsy. u ever heard of animals actin weird before a big storm rolls in? kinda like that. he's distressed that his brother is distressed and he doesn't rly know how to make it better, so he just starts shuffling his feet and acting like he doesn't know where to go next. he also tends to plop his head down on ritsu's shoulder like i've mentioned (i think) and it's a 50/50 chance on whether that makes it any better

on the subject of his constant exhaustion, when ritsu finally does get mob to fall sleep he is Out and Unmoving and his body is so desperate for energy that he doesn't wake up for the next 21 fucking hours or more. ritsu actually regularly gets worried abt how long he sleeps. he's simply resigned himself to being 40% more stressed during his naps

zombie mob also loves water ! another remnant of Before—they had a stream in their backyard before everything went to shit and they had to leave, and mob Loved that thing. he'd sit in the backyard and listen to the sound of the water trickling for hours. nowadays, if they find any sort of stream or source of flowing water, it's very hard to get mob to leave. he loves listening to it and if it's coming from above and splashing to the ground he'll stand in the stream and be the most content zombie that ever lived. unfortunately he's also wet now. sorry ritsu

hrrmmmmm vaguely related to the first thing... mob is a bit like a cat that keeps knocking shit over when it comes to sneaking around settlement patrols. ritsu does his absolute best to steer clear of patrols by a long shot in general, but sometimes it's necessary to squeeze past one. normal mob is quiet and his steps are soft and while he's not the most graceful he's not a walking hazard—zombie mob is tho <3

he doesn't rly Understand that the goal is to not be seen and these people have guns and those guns can hashtag kill you to death, and ritsu can only do so much to "tell" mob to be quiet. he doesn't understand any of the hand signals he gives him, any of the Shush gestures, and mob is absolutely fascinated by this vase—oh it broke. oh neat, footsteps and yelling that's fun

most of the time they get by unscathed.but sometimes mob will do the worst possible thing at the worst possible moment and those r the times ritsu gets truly and genuinely frustrated w him. poor guy can't help it he's a zombie.ritsu knows this .he pushes on

in regards to patrols, actually, it's interesting to think about how zombies Learn. they,, seemingly don't. a lot of the times, the consequences of something bad they do is either pain, or death, and since they don't feel pain ... well u can't exactly learn from that. a lot of the times, zombies will keep doing one thing over and over again, even if it's actively killing them, until they die from it

zombies are attracted to noises and smells, so it stands to reason that mob might be inclined to walk right up to a patrol car. there's people here ! let's check it out. and zombies do this all the time. all a patrol car has to do, rly, is keep its engine running, and zombies within earshot of it will flock and then get killed

mob, interestingly, is in a position to Learn as a zombie. not many zombies keep their lives after running into a patrol car, but mob has protection, and people looking after him. mob has walked away from patrol cars w his life many times. and i think he starts to understand that they're dangerous once ritsu gets hurt

it takes a couple rounds of it to get it through his head, but the next patrol car he sees and considers venturing to, he thinks about what happened last time this occurred—the screaming from ritsu, mainly—and he stops. if mob were suddenly alone, and ritsu was gone, he'd surely walk right up to that patrol car and get shot in the head for it. it's not like he'll feel it. but ritsu is with him, and he doesn't want his little brother to scream like that again, so he decides not to, and lets himself get led away from the car

tome notes this change in behavior w Great interest and ritsu is honestly just glad he'll now experience approximately 3 less heart attacks per month

[hannigramislife]

hey! long time no see, friendd <3

i saw in one of your old posts that there was a character (from a chinese drama? im not sure) that you used to love when you were a kid but now, with time and stuff, you absolutely hate them lol.

out of curiosity, if let's say the past you saw dazai, do you think she'd like him? haha

HELLO FRIEND!!

Omg, yeah, I can think of the exact post you saw 🙈 it probably was about Wangxian (so both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji).

In my defense!!! I binge-watched that show in less than two days, up to 4 am, as an emotionally vulnerable 18 year old the night before her visa interview.

Safe to say, I was not in my right mind XD

But yeah, I called their story "the best love story ever told" while pitching the show to my friend, and now I can't stand looking at them– the switch up was crazy.

Let's think: what would 18 year old me think of Dazai?

Regrettably, I am almost positive he would appear much more sympathetic to me then. His struggle regarding his humanity would cut me to my core, and the fact that he left the Mafia behind would probably have me going, "He's trying his best!! He's gone through so much and should not be punished for having trouble being good when he has never known it before!"

*sounds of me throwing up*

I think I would project a lot of my teenage angst onto him, to be honest, which would make me more tolerant and him more relatable. It's why I find the justifications people make for Dazai quite childish; like, that's a teenager's mindset and point of view that you're taking.

On the other hand, Akutagawa is also a factor.

I probably would have liked both Akutagawa and Dazai, and would have wished for a reconciliation between them. I just know I would have written a lot of fanfics where Dazai cared and did better by him. I still would love for nothing more than their relationship to heal, but back then, I would have excused Dazai's actions in order to reach it.

I shall take the chance to say that I am a huge advocate of the "let Dazai and Akutagawa heal and be friends and care for each other" agenda. That surprises my friend a lot, considering my hatred of Dazai, but I'm like??? I'm searching for happy endings here?? Of course I want to see Dazai be proud of Akutagawa, and see him teasing Akutagawa the way he does Atsushi, and see Akutagawa be comfortable around him??

I don't fuck with people who don't like Akutagawa, therefore, if he liked Akutagawa, he'd get rights. Math is mathing.

[pullupinarari]

l am genuinely curious of your pov as a writer. especially for this new plot. seriously. because at least for me this plot is just another level. so im curious to how are you taking it? and how does it feel from the writer pov when you write this, when you listen to the soundtracks. how you feel about each character, each scene. which bit or detail is your fav and why. i know it takes a lot. bcs i put a lot when i did a small short film for uni years ago, so i know how the interesting the process is. genuinely want to know if you're willing to share 🌞

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO COOL I LOVE THIS TYPE OF QUESTIONS SO SO MUCH!!!!

Omg okay. So, unfortunately I haven’t had the time to fully dedicate myself to this plot yet, I’ve only been trying to absorb all these different ideas and scenarios, trying to find ways in my mind to put the whole story together.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt the thoughts for a plot as deeply as I’ve been feeling these ones, and it just sucks because I genuinely want to write it so so much but I can’t right now and it kills me 😩 but the process is basically always the same when I am writing an angst: I always need to find a song that fits the vibe of the plot for me, so I can get in the right mindset to write it. So now I have the soundtracks you girls have sent me, so you’ll save me some time searching for the right song 😅

As I’ve stated some times before, the emotions and thoughts that you girls read on my angsts, are my own thoughts and feelings. When I put myself in the right headspace to develop an angst, it genuinely feels like I’m playing with my own feelings, so I can see myself in that scenario, feeling everything so much closer to me, so I can pour all of me into it. And that takes so much, honestly. Because I genuinely feel so sad, so vulnerable, so hurt when writing those plots, picturing myself in the shoes of each character, searching my own emotions for the right ones to develop on the story, and that leaves me absolutely exhausted when I finish one of those pieces. Because it’s a part of me that I’m putting out here. It’s some of my old wounds, that I’m cutting open again so my characters can bleed through me, so I can express the truth behind the words that you read.

So even if I’m writing about Lewis acting like a dick, it’s also a close scenario to me. Because I either acted that way as well, or someone acted that way towards me, and I keep all of those details and experiences very close to me, so I can use them when I get my hands on the right plot, that deserves for me to unveil another part of me and my personal stories. It’s my truth as a writer.

From the structure that I have in my mind for this plot so far, I’m very excited to explore the scene of the girl knocking on his door, only to find him with another girl. The hurt, the shattering of her world right then and there: that’s where the actual plot begins, in my opinion, and the loss of the baby will just pile upon the pain she was already feeling because of his actions. And the scene of him seeing her again after everything, Jesus Christ I can’t wait to describe that interaction between them, the touches, the thoughts, the feelings. And I already know that I will need to dig so deep in myself to live up to this plot, I know it’s going to leave me completely destroyed for days 🥲

It’s an interesting process, when you stop and take a look at it, but as I said, it truly is exhausting. I’m using my own feelings like a puppet, so the story can feel a bit more real to the ones who read it. That’s why all my angsts are so dear to me: cause you are reading me, my experiences, my emotions, my stories. Of course I adapt my experiences to fit the scenes of the different plots, but the feelings behind them, are always, always real, and always based on something that happened to me in my 24 years of living. Holy shit this is way too long, I hope this answers your question?? I’m sorry if it doesn’t 😭😭

[anthonycrowley]

same anon w the braime fic - IM SO GLAD i also did the classic tv show > ao3 > actual asoiaf source text order of consumption lol i wasn’t sure if you were abstaining from fic till u read the books or smth idk but anyway. if u did a fic rec i would totally eat that up

braime dynamic is so far up my street u are so right about horny subtext + slow reveal emotional vulnerability, plus a side of enemies to lovers or like. prisoner/captor to reluctant allies to lovers. man i haven’t thought about them in so long… are there any other pairings in the show/books that u enjoy?

naaaah fuck that noise, no offense but i needed to be in the right mindset to read multiple thousand plus page books and i like fanfic. sorry. i guess. i’m here now. anyway.

i could talk about them but. god. clenches fist. i’ll go insane. and people will stop listening to my commentary. i think you got it except metatextually they are destiel. like what happened to destiel happened to them. two nickels. absolutely bonkers.

aaaaaand as far as other pairings. hm. i think largely i tend to gravitate towards character’s plotlines rather than ships - i find arya fascinating but not don’t really care all that much about gendarya, although i don’t mind it. - braime being the exception. or if i do find pairings interesting they’re usually more because of platonic reasons more than romantic. if i had to pick. hm. and before i say these we are going to remember this is the problematic ship book and i am not necessarily saying they are morally good just very fun to explore. jokes aside stavos has some hilson energy going on. what do you want from me. i think samgilly is cute (this is helped because sam is one of my faves). is it weird if i say robbjeyne is cute. jaimecersei i actually do enjoy in a these two are toxically codependent in a fun way and i wish people could explore it in a way that’s not incredibly black and white because there’s A Lot there. sansatyrion but i think that one might get me shot (and once she’s older preferably). robbtheon i get the appeal of and makes me insane to think about but i don’t like read fic for them. sansamargaery because sansa deserves nice things and i think they’d be good for each other. my hottest take i think is that jon and sam should explore each other’s bodies and i do feel this wholeheartedly and unironically. that’s all i can think of off the top of my head there’s so many fucking characters in this book. why are most of my ships straight. feels wrong. or maybe that’s just what happens when the female characters are good. idk.

[sockori]

shmupdate 🧦

very long, hastily written, but a look is appreciated

greetings- to those who are somehow still lingering around this account or came up upon it during my desolate time off. it is sock. or sockori.... or raven... my name is actually raven (they/it, 20 yo disabled autistic goth nerd whatever the fuck). howdy

im still on the 'undetermined hiatus' so to speak that i described in my leaving post, but i will say right now that i have no near future plans on returning. in the tags on my newest art, i mentioned my naruto hyperfixation (of like. 6 years i think) finally died out and other interests have long since captured my autism full force. for me personally, when i lose a special interest like this so drastically, i just full on abandon it for as long as it stands. however, this isn't the only thing that made me leave, and i think its time for me to be completely honest & get some weight off my chest.

i made this account around the cusp of turning 14, during a god awful pubescent era where i acted as any other edgy teen does and i'd much rather like to forget these days. what im saying is i was not in the right mindset at all when i exposed myself that much & got the attention that i did. a dismayingly giant coping mechanism i had in my youth was being online 24/7 because i had no one in reality to lean on let alone feel comfortable talking to about anything that was happening at that time. this of course leads to what the kids call these days being 'chronically online'- desperate for some sort of assurance or interaction, i crawled into internet spaces i shouldn't have been for an also incredibly unsupervised child using the dangerous worldwide web.

yes, naruto was apart of this, as well as other interests i had at the time. throughout my journey i met unsavory people, suffered abhorrent things like stalking & gr---ming, saw things i didn't deserve to see, did a bunch of stupid shit an angsty teen does, i believe you understand the rest. i am in no way proud or gleeful about any of these years and have some very sour memories tied to fandom as a whole, not just naruto, and i really don't like reflecting on them. so, unfortunately, this account sorta became a bitter reminder of what i went through as i grew up & finally matured and sought to recover. that's the first part of why my activity fizzled away & i began backing off from internet use entirely.

the second part is sasori. yes, the puppet man. sorta the sole reason i made sockori in the first place. as the sasori enjoyers following / who followed know, this puppeteer has an incredibly unhealthy philosophy and worldview (if the carefully preserved corpses turned puppets and complete lack of humanity didn't give that away), and is safe to say entirely detached from his reality to a nhilistic and suicidal extent. when you autistically fixate on a character like how i did, sometimes this character's rhetoric can seep into your own without you even realizing; Especially when you're a spot where you are incredibly vulnerable and psychologically unstable, as i was in my youth. now i didn't go around believing you should uhhh murder people and preserve them Obviously- actually i began to believe that perhaps there was some peace in obtaining a robotic existence. maybe emotions were useless, perhaps nothing truly mattered, my life didn't matter, art in eternal in the sense that death is scary and i should avoid it at all costs, why make connections with people when they just die or leave, cant trust people at all to help me, xyz. anything in these lines. without going too uncomfortably deep for everyone's sake and mine, it fucked me up severely. i suppose in a way it relates to how he uses poison. his toxins got right into my nervous system, but the pain i felt from those toxins was the only thing i could really rely on at the time, so i just let it happen. such is the depressing case of coping in the worst spot of your life.

cant help but feel incredibly strange telling the tale, as it sounds so obscure doesn't it, but media can truly get inside your psyche like this if a consumer isn't careful. not sure if anyone else out there fell into a similar headspace dealing with interests in this nature- but regardless. what i mean to say is, sasori is now a kind of content i cant consume anymore. i am in a way better place now, have grown wise and balanced with careful recovery and patience, and of course have grown out of whatever teenage nonsense i was on. sasori, who was once the only thing my autistic traumatized ass could lean on, is now an extremely dark shadow on my life. yes i see this homicidal anime puppet dude from a fantasy ninja anime and get psychological distress. he's somewhat of an aggressor or abuser to me now, which is tragic. ive been actively avoiding everything even vaguely relating to him, be it the art of puppetry, anime clips, robotic/sci-fi genre, whatnot cause i just. man. i dont wanna go back there. shouldn't have to explain why at this point. ptsd at its finest

feel like ive been honest enough. sasori enjoyers out there who were just around to enjoy what i made, anyone i happened to be good friends with during my time on this account, this doesn't have anything to do with you guys. i appreciate everyone dearly for supporting me and cheering me on in whatever i made despite all the hell & anguish that was taking place beyond the keyboard. im just glad that i managed to find some way out and get the help i need before i gave up & took my own life, which depressingly i almost did a handful of times. carrying the horrors is an exhausting burden to bare sometimes, but that does not mean i can't look back on the good parts of the era too. and seeing you all happy and sharing my memes or whatever made me ecstatic and at least a little bit hopeful for the future. fortunately that little spark of hope grew into something more. thanks for being a light in a very, very dark room.

that being said, i leave you all with this: i am not dead, just greatly changed, a new person at last freed from apathy & exhaustion, with now enough room to finally grow. the memories will never truly fade & my disabilities will be a part of me until i pass on, but at least now i can manage them a lot better than ever before, surrounded by way better people who love me for who i am. i will hang on the best i can. i wish for you to do the same. find freedom and happiness wherever you are. take care. happy trails

trans rights. i eat fascist souls. free palestine

[mete0rbyt3]

Rewrote my sendolo analysis on a doc sooooo here you go

(im posting this on wednesday, also from my phone)

original post with scr33nshots of the discord ramble version of this

Not really an important note; some of this is just stuff I found while fact checking myself via the official wiki. I’m an amateur analyzer, don't kill me.

Little is explained about the "ritual" Seinru performs, but we know enough to figure out how it affected Edolon. Edolon was obviously afraid of losing Seinru because of just how much he depended on them. Edolon knows he isn't Seinru and that he's nothing like Seinru. Seinru is also the only person Edolon has ever been shown allowing himself to be vulnerable around.

[text from page 1103]

SEINRU: What reason would I ever have not to trust you?

EDOLON: i'm just not convinced i have what it takes.

EDOLON: i'm not like you.

EDOLON: i'm still afraid. i'll still feel the pain, even when you don't.

EDOLON: what if i can't do any of it?

EDOLON: then all i'll have accomplished is adding more misery to my life.

SEINRU: That's not going to happen.

EDOLON: and this is not a role i was meant to play.

Seinru places all of their trust into Edolon and for not knowing a better word, pretty much guilt trips him. She knows Edolon would never want to hurt her so they try and convince him that he’s perfectly capable of going on without them.

[text from page 1104]

SEINRU: All that pain would be rendered meaningless.

SEINRU: All your effort, wasted.

SEINRU: You don't want that, do you?

EDOLON: no, of course not.

EDOLON: and i wouldn't ever wish to disappoint you, either.

EDOLON: but there's still a part of me that feels like i can't do it on my own.

EDOLON: i need you, sen.

SEINRU: All of this is for you.

SEINRU: So please, don't reject this gift. Don't let me down, now of all times.

EDOLON: i...

EDOLON: i won't.

EDOLON: i love you.

SEINRU: I know you do.

SEINRU: I promise you'll be okay.

SEINRU: I've taught you everything you’ll need from this point on.

SEINRU: Besides...

SEINRU: As long as you're still here, I'll never truly be gone.

The ritual allowed Seinru to become subconsciously a part of Edolon. This was earlier implied by Seinru saying “As long as you're still here, I'll never truly be gone.” [page 1105]. It is later confirmed that Seinru is still “alive” as the homunculus [as seen on page 2292].

Another impact Seinru had on Edolon was leaving him with the thought that the world belongs to him. In Snowbound Blood, Seinru states, “Everything, from here to obliteration, belongs to you.” While Edolon is known for his quote “THIS ROTTEN, DESOLATE CARCASS OF A WORLD...BELONGS TO ME!!!”

Note: This next part isn’t too important to sendolo as a relationship, more so just Edolon. Sorry, I got side tracked while wiki fact checking myself.

Edolon's sigil is Purification, which kind of goes hand in hand with his mindset of the world belonging to him. To put it simply he wants to “cleanse the world” He starts this by targeting Repiton Corp. (really he ONLY targets corporate) The reasoning for this is his relationship with The Executive. Otherwise known as Clarud Enthral, Sestro’s ancestor. The Executive originally raised Edolon to become head of corporate. He was eventually seen as unfit for the position, leading to Sestro’s (and Hamifi’s) reduplication.

This can also technically be a reasoning for his belief of the world belonging to him. As in it quite literally is. Edolon claims that his ancestor (whom he refers to as the holistic blight) was Clarud’s soulmate. The Executive did in fact raise Edolon, which is why he says he is the rightful heir.

Seinru’s sigil is Fusion, which is pretty self explanatory at this point but I’ll summarize it here. Seinru performs a ritual, allowing them to become a part of Edolon. In other words, fuse with him. In a literal sense, Seinru becomes the homunculus. Not really sure what else to say about this.

[anniefebruary]

also bats eyes reptilian blink style. 2 & 5 😈

now these i shall answer while stimming bc i care SO BAD abt these wips. not to say idc abt the other ones but these are near and dear to my heartttt

#2 is a power rangers au of stranger things and its the lore bible for the au that i plan to write fics based off of bc im back in my power rangers hyperfixation era (dare i even say special intrest because. i kept my power rangers knowledge from childhood to this day feel free to ask my opinions)

#5 is fic based on the 2012 movie Chronicle thats SO good and kingsley vanweezer for sure put me on i definitely reccomend watching it

posting snippets under the cut but. does a little dance

#2

The best scientific minds of the time came together to create a type of mobile armor that allows for the wearer to have more of an edge in combat. More agile, more focused, more resistant. Rumors are that the primary creator based each on positive traits when the team behind the devices assumed the users would be young adults. This gimmick wasn’t well known, but as the testing of the devices progressed, having a mindset that matched each device benefitted the user in more of a psychological manner than physical. However, the colors of each device and armor were made to simply keep track of agents and what they possessed. Each device contained a tracker to find the others if they were lost. 

The first agent found was assigned the first device, Red, once he exhibited exceptional abilities in both powers and combat. Therefore, Red was associated with leadership, and Agent One, Henry Creel, was destined to be at the head of the task force along with seven other members. More than seven people were found with strange powers, and the unfortunate motivation for training as many as they could find was for…security, in case the other agents were to be inadequate in combat to the point of, for lack of better phrasing, death. But the agents were trained to avoid that at all costs. Perhaps they were trained too hard.

When Agent Eight, Kali Prasad, escaped, she stole the Purple device to aid her. Of course, since her abilities were tied to altering perception, she took the one colloquially referred to as “Mind” and disabled its tracker. Authorities are still searching for it, but in the meantime, all evidence of her and the stolen device were wiped from the data kept by Hawkins Lab, just to cover their tracks. Training became harder, security became stricter, and Agent One was integrated into said security. 

This was a grave mistake.

#5

Andrew's eyes scanned Steve's face, then flickered his eyes to the ground. "Stop looking at me like that." 

"Like what?" Steve moved his hands back to his sides, but kept the same proximity.

"Like...that." He wanted to say like that sunset we watched, all bright and blinding. Pure radiance. Like I'm worth looking at. 

Steve lowered his brows and head, trying to catch Andrew's eyes. "Do you not...like me looking at you?" he asked cautiously.

Andrew looked up into soft brown eyes. Ever since they'd gone in that cave, he's felt more connected to Matt and Steve. Not in the bonding time way, but in the actual mental link. The more they hung out, the more he could feel the subtle ebb and flow of their feelings; it created a fun feedback loop when they were giddy, but overusing powers had them all reaching for napkins. Right now was no different. Steve was so vulnerable, so earnest that Andrew could feel the slight spike in anxiety in his chest (or was that his own?) yet the cautious adoration in his eyes.