#and im just. in a vulnerable mindset right now

[stil-lindigo]

scammers are scum of the earth in a time where every dollar counts, so just make sure to block @/esth-care, @/ann-qm as well as any donation link that leads to anah qussim.

[acid-ixx]

I’m new, I just read your fic about neglect reader. I haven’t read through your blog yet but I am so excited after reading this fic. I am an emotional wreck right now and my curiosity is eating me alive with this question “Does reader know about Jason? Will they ever met? Ever have a platonic relationship together? Will Jason be more of a brother to reader?”

I’m sorry I speed through the fic and tears are in my eyes I couldn’t think straight BUT I notice that Jason is hardly there so I’m curious. Please this is such a brain rot, it’s way past midnight after I read this cause I keep stopping to cry.

major (?) spoilers below.

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

hello anon !! im so happy ppl are getting more exposed to the content i have written so far. anyways, i can't believe i also got others to cry bec i did too when i was writing 😭

anyways, to answer ur question: yes! the reader will meet jason and he would actually be the first sibling you would meet after you have left the manor. the way he would turn yandere for you is a different approach to how the others would be because in the prequel, it has been stated that you had your fair share of encounters with him.

"will they ever have a platonic relationship with him/see him as a brother?" maybe, maybe not. because your meeting with him would all be a blur to you, and jason's obsession would stem from the trauma he had experienced, causing him to be more protective of you.

you're not in your best mindset and you're vulnerable walking through the streets of gotham and all alone? oh god, only a dumbass would do that— but once the red hood recognizes your face and the way you carry yourself so pitiably, he immediately tries to take you in his arms just as he should.

but the moment you push him away? tell him to fuck off despite your drunken state? the moment you cry and tell him you could deal with everything yourself without his help or anybody else's? you just remind him of himself and that triggers his first spiral into yandere-ism.

it's the way you share trauma, the way you both feel immense anger. he should've noticed sooner because you two would've been as close as peas in a pod. and yet he failed you by being a hypocrite. you were literally taken into the manor right after his death and discarded like you were mere trash. he should've taken you away when he had the opportunity to but he was too caught up in his feat of revenge.

yet the worst part was that he had taken notice of tim before he did you, and jason had momentarily hated you too because he thought bruce had replaced him. if he had looked through that veil of contempt that he had for you, and saw just how neglected and in need of attention you are, then he would've taken you under his wing.

but he didn't, and he had done the same thing to you as most did.

so take it as you will when i say you're more or less going to be closer (albeit unwillingly) to jason than anybody else because unlike his other siblings who are bound by their vigilante duties, your big brother jason wouldn't mind shooting any creeps who think they could touch his precious angel.

and he gets it, too, angel— you hate him, you hate them all and that's valid. but you can't just walk out in the streets alone and expect to be home in one piece; so leave it to him to scout your apartment alright? leave it to your big brother jason to intimidate the goons who try to stalk you when you're not looking. even if you don't want him near you, you'll always find warm food by your table and a note reminding you to take care of yourself more often.

it hurts when you rip the paper to shreds but it breaks his heart even more if you refuse to touch the meal he would leave for you, because that probably means you saw him as danger more than anything else. and he doesn't know it, but you're already planning to make a run for it now that you're under red hood's radar.

it's obvious that you have no experience when it comes to living by yourself, so please don't fucking push him away and let him protect you from any harm. your self destructive habits only causes him to become more protective of you and it only lets him stalk you more often to ensure nobody would touch his precious angel.

just like dick, you'll be treated more like a child than that of a young adult, but at least jason has the concept of personal space compared to your eldest brother. but still, jason wishes to hold you in his arms.

heaven forbid if the joker ever got his crummy fingers on you. jason would go berserk.

little does he know, little does your family know just how much they had lost the opportunity to keep you in wraps inside the manor.

they should've never let you out in the first place.

[norrizzandpia]

hello, firstly i would like to say ur writing is phenomenal!! secondly i wanted to request something like the reader having some insecurities or just social media making her feel unworthy of lando thank u 🫶🏼

Ive been hanging onto this request for a while bc i love these scenarios bc they hit so close to home and I always need to be in the right mindset for them and now i am!

Love You the Way I Do (LN4)

Summary: When Y/n starts to pull back, Lando knows exactly what to do.

Warnings: insecurities, talks of not being good enough, language

Note: the reason ive been so mia on here is because ive just been in such a bad slump and not feeling good about myself or feeling good enough in general and im starting to get out of it with a lot of time focusing on myself but i really miss it on here so im using this as a way to kind of help me cope a bit with what ive been going through recently

Y/n was never good with her emotions. Discussing them and trying to work on them, she could never reach a certain level of comfortability with the people in her life that allowed her to be that vulnerable with them. Her parents, friends, and other family members had to pry words out of her when it was clear she was struggling and no amount of therapy sessions had cured the vicious cycle. However, Lando’s peaceful presence in her life had shifted the way she operated, allowed her to open up more easily with the way he would hold her until she was ready.

He was patient, almost strategic, when it came to getting through to her. Past moments of darkness where she would try to shut him out, try to be alone in the agony, were lessons in which ways worked best to get her to realize that he was there for her, waiting with open arms and constantly ready to listen.

Easing her mind, that was Lando’s job and he was damn good at it.

He could always tell when there was a war going on beneath the walls of her head. When she would go quiet or laugh just a bit less, he caught on fast. Just like now, as he sat on the couch in their shared apartment and watched her talk to her sister on the phone in the kitchen, Lando clocked the way she wasn’t as smiley, as excited to talk to one of her favorite people in the world.

“Thursday? No, I can’t do Thursday. I’ve got some stuff to do.” She mumbled into the speaker. Lando could hear her sister respond, something about Y/n being too busy, but he couldn’t truly digest the words, too engrossed in his own mind wondering what she had Thursday.

If he remembered correctly, she had nothing scheduled.

The second sign; distancing herself from people close to her and staying inside unhealthily.

She paced the room, rounding each corner of the counter as she bit the nail on her thumb, “Friday, no… next Monday, no… next Wednesday, no…”

Their conversation continued that way until her sister gave up on trying to find a date, muttering about letting her know when the next date Y/n was available was, and hung up. His girlfriend set the phone down on the marble, head falling forward as she huffed out a breath.

“You okay, love?” He spoke, voice hesitant as to not startle very clearly something loud in her mind.

She turned her eyes, squinting at him lightly before whispering, almost too quietly, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

A tired Y/n, Lando knew, warranted clinginess. That was her usual way of remedying exhaustion, curling up in his arms wherever he was and partaking in a Power Nap. Although, there was none of that as she walked out of the kitchen, turning a corner and disappearing behind their bedroom door.

Third sign; shutting Lando out, the one he hated the most.

He scrolled through his phone for a minute more, not wanting her to know he had already realized her turmoil. He wanted her to believe that his comfort was not out of pity, but love.

When the clock reached an even number, he got up from his seated position and pattered over to their door, knocking lightly.

“Y/n? Can I come in?” He said, though there was no response. He creaked the door open, seeing her frame turned away from him as it laid on their bed, her phone illuminating the room.

Because of the darkness and the only light coming from her phone, he could easily see what she was looking at. It was as clear as day and the reason for her distance, however painful, became apparent.

A twitter thread of why Luisa was better for Lando than Y/n.

It broke his heart.

He stood for a moment, taking in the scene before him and breathing deeply, and deciding his plan of action. It only took him a few seconds, although, he knew exactly what he wanted to say to her.

Lando approached her side of the bed and when his footsteps reached the ears of his beloved, she turned her phone off quickly. He kneeled down beside her, dried tears on her cheeks not going unnoticed by him. His hand cradled the side of her face that wasn’t pushed into her pillow and he kissed her forehead.

“Baby, I saw what you were looking at.” He whispered into the quiet. His green eyes bore into hers as she willed the knot in her throat to dissipate.

Lando gently took her phone from her hands, sliding it off the bed and setting it on the night stand next to him. He nudged her shoulder, signaling for her to move over so he could squeeze into her side of their massive bed. When he laid down, his arms wrapped tightly around her frame, squeezing the skin and warming it as she nuzzled her head into his chest.

“Why are you doing this to yourself? You know they’re wrong.” He tried.

Y/n pulled away from his chest, looking up at him and using her voice, albeit wobbly, “Do I know they’re wrong? Lan, you mean so much to so many people in this world, people you don’t even know the names of.”

He nodded, “Okay, yes, what does that have to do with this?”

She sniffled, “There are so many other women that could compliment you better. Women that people know the name of. Women that have made their mark on this world just like you have. I will never be able to be what you need me to be.”

Lando shook his head, her words outrageous in his mind because she was already everything he needed, just as she was.

“Y/n, what? What are you even saying? That’s crazy. You mean everything to me. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care about anyone else, anything else. You compliment my life and my happiness perfectly. That’s all that matters.”

Wetness formed beneath her eyes once more and began to fall freely as she toyed with the hem of his shirt, “What if you wake up one day and realize that Luisa is better suited for the life you lead? What if one day you wake up and I am no longer good enough for you?”

Lando gaped at her, truly at a loss for words. In his mind, everything she was saying was so incredibly wrong, she couldn’t be farther from the truth. However, from the sadden look in her eyes, he could tell that she fully believed the things flying from her mouth. That idea, the thought that she was scared one day he would no longer cherish her in the way he does now, made him all the more determined to remind how much she matters to him and how that will never change.

“Y/n, stop. Listen to yourself. Have I ever made you feel inadequate?” He questioned, staring at her fiercely as if what she was saying made him defensive. It did in a way. He was defensive of the love he had for her, taking shame in the fact that he had made her feel as though their relationship would end.

She shook her head as he brought his fingers up to wipe at the tears still falling down her skin, “No, but-”

He brought his pointer finger to her lips, “No buts, Y/n. Listen to me when I tell you this. You have been and always be more than enough for me. You are the start and end of my day, and that is something I never want to change. Being scared that one day I’ll wake up and magically have fallen out of love with you is absolutely fucking clinically insane. It’s been two years we’ve been together, Y/n, and I still badger you at the end of the day, asking what you had done because I love to hear your voice. I love your rambles and I love the way you love me. There’s nothing that’s going to make me want to stop loving you because there’s really no going back. I’m in this with you and I always will be. You need to believe that. Believe me when I say the only way we will end is lying next to each other on our death beds with rings on our left fingers from our wedding decades ago.”

“That’s kind of morbid.” She whispered, a small smile gracing her features as his words sunk beneath her skin.

He chucked and leaned further into her, “It’s true. There will come a time where I get on one knee in front of you and beg you to be with me for the rest of our lives. There will come a time where I will stand in front of all of our friends and family, and declare my love for you and certainty over marrying you. I know these things will happen because I am interchangeably in love with you. And I know you are with me too. So, just leave social media be, baby. Stay here in this moment with me, push all those disgusting fans away and listen to my words. I love you,” He shook her head lightly in his hands as he spoke, “You are worthy of my love and love in general, and there will never come a singular moment where even the thought of leaving you passes my brain. We are it for each other, love. This is it for me.”

Her body relaxed fully into his arms and further into the bed as they stared at each other. Y/n giggled at his words and he smiled down at her, still holding her face whilst lightly rubbing excess tears in her soft skin.

A silence passed before Y/n mumbled, “I think I’m going to delete my social media platforms for a while. Take some time off and get back on track.”

Warmth swelled in Lando’s chest, threatening to spill out from his mouth at overwhelming amounts of it within his body.

“I’m so proud of you, love.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss her softly. He pecked her lips lovingly, sweet nothings spilling from his mouth in the form of the warmth that had been drowning him.

They stayed that way for a few hours, both falling in out of sleep in the arms of the other. And when crickets chirped and the clock read an ungodly time, Lando pulled Y/n from bed, into their bathroom, where he showed her how much he loved her. A bath, some face masks, and low music that he made her dance with him along to, all worked as ways for him to tangibly exude the feelings he had for her. No longer were the ex’s of his past, no longer were jealous fans, no longer were thoughts of unworthiness.

Just him, her, and the love that would never die out.

[kroosluvr]

the celeste celexcity kroosluvr swap au (i don't have a good name for this yet)

basics bc i haven't decided much yet

UHHH basically what it says on the images... akira is playing on maruki's side and they don't know if it's just to be a contrarian or if he actually believes in it. but akira in this au is very ends-justify-the-means + the fact that he's a dead man so he dgaf that it's the "wrong decision." he won't be there to see it anyways, no matter which route they take, but at least in the fake reality umm One version of akira kurusu is happy!

engine room and stuff plays out as normal i imagine those black mask plot beats r the same

+ post engine room, in 3rd sem akira's personality doesn't rlly change all that much. hes always been Shrewd Scammer Silver tongued untrustworthy bastard type and nothing changes even then. there are moments when he seems more 'vulnerable' but also sumire+goro cant be certain if its an act either

i think akira has a "well if they both hate me thatll make things easier" mindset regardless

shido is still goro's dad and all that and akira works for shido for whatever reason and he learns abt that and holds it over goro's head the same way he grates on sumire abt kasumi

o yeah akira wasnt like Particularly close w kasumi (he isnt particularly close w anyone) but they talked casually. he never rlly met sumire. it's funny when he meets 'kasumi' bc like obviously shes lying LMAO but he just genuinely doesnt care enough to find out (<- akira very selfish and just focused on his own goals on his lonesome). either way his interactions w her are funny bc hes like Hahahh yeah... (What hte hell isgoing on. Whatever)

also i think this goro doesn't meet all the pthieves/confidants in the same Order as canonverse akira, like i feel like he'd "team up" with yusuke first somehow (ake/kita fan THUMBSUP EMOJ)

sumire basically thesame. i changed her earring color frm gold-> silver just for differentiation pruposes (and itll fit better w her pthief design in swap bc itll be differnetntn!!! yay!!) uhhh but shes kinda more sardonic out loud thanks to akira being annoying

shes rlly embarrassed abt being "kasumi" to goro and so shes all like distancing herself like "sorry i know it was stupid of me and i totally get it if u dont trust me anymore bc i wasnt who i said i was" etc but goros also like thats in the past and also we kinda are the only ones in the world rn so we just have to put that aside for now and also kick akiras ass

THATS AL I CAN THINK OF RN it's kinda vibes right now bc im never good at figuring out entire plotlines LMFASOPFJS024320 falls over. Major plot holes probably and shit wont make sense it's a big JUST TRUST ME + i just wanna draw random stuff w them moment ummm uhh uh runs

[darcytaylor]

I have been following few blogs on the Luke - Nic situation, and yours is the only one with the take there was nothing between them. So Im very curious about your take. The issue that personally affects me here is that after living 30+ years in this world, we pick certain actions and behaviours as related to romance and attraction right, but now I feel gaslighted (not by you, but by Nic & Luke) as if my understanding about romantic attracti9j language has always been wrong (this also triggers my trauma because I was never sure about romantic attraction towards me and had spent hours and hours dissecting behaviours by those I thought were attracted to me).

However, I am unable to fit their behaviour and body language in this special bond framework. There were many genuine, natural which went PR. This is where Im confused and feel gaslighted. What are your thoughts on this?

So coming back to your theory about, its a special kind of co-worker relationship, I totally agree this is possible. When you do something you are passionate about thats life changing and meaningful with someone else you can develop a special bond. Probably something similar to the bond soldiers or medical profession share being in a traumatic environment with utmost trust in each other. In Nic & Luke's case unlike other leads they had 5 years to develop the friendship, understand the material and brainstorm between them. I can see how that would create a special bond especially when you have to be vulnerable and comfortable with each other in those intimate scenes.

However, I couldn't fit their behaviour and body language during the promo tour under this special bond framework. There were many moments of genuine connection between them which seemed to go beyond PR or platonic friendship. This is where I feel gaslighted. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think those moments were just friendship and nothing more?

I have never said that there was nothing between them (because at the end of the day I don't know what their relationship is). But I ultimately think that the actions shown don't necessarily scream "we are in a relationship". I say this from experience, I know the bond that co-works can have, and just because they smile at each other, touch each other, and are comfortable saying certain things, it doesn't make me conclude that they are together.

I also think that when I see their interviews, I am not looking for proof of a relationship between them. I think if you go into it with that mindset, that there has to be something more, you make yourself see it and then you will start to believe it. Maybe this is ultimately why you feel gaslit, and I am sorry that the whole situation had made you feel that way. It's an awful feeling to have for sure!

I do think that when actors do promo tours there will always be PR behind it. But just because it is PR doesn't make their interactions not genuine. It can be both all at the same time.

Also, even when people have co-worker relationships doesn't make loving interactions not genuine. I have stated a couple times in my responses to asks what I truly think of these types of relationships/friendships. And they have the ability to be intense! They have the ability to be more than a 'regular' relationship/friendship.

Here are things I have said in the past. It may help you better understand what I think a co-worker relationship can be like and why I think that their actions don't necessarily mean they are something more:

"I do think they mainly have a co-worker type relationship/friendship. But that's NOT saying they aren't close. It's me saying that it is a different type of relationship/friendship, because co-worker friendships do have the potential to be way more than a 'regular' friendship. (I'm also saying this from experience)"

"When you are at work, your co-works tend to see you more than your family and friends. They see you at your worst and at your best, and they have the potential to see the real you."

"I do believe that they are friends with a very close bond. After filming something like Bridgerton and going on the months long promo tour, there will be a bond between them for life, even if they don't hangout regularly after this. I think it is that bond that people are seeing that makes people believe otherwise."

"I have been working for many years, and I have insanely close relationships with coworkers. Coworkers understand a part of you that nobody ever will! And then to top that off with them having to do intimacy scenes, I can understand why they share a bond (that nobody will probably understand)."

[hannigramislife]

hey! long time no see, friendd <3

i saw in one of your old posts that there was a character (from a chinese drama? im not sure) that you used to love when you were a kid but now, with time and stuff, you absolutely hate them lol.

out of curiosity, if let's say the past you saw dazai, do you think she'd like him? haha

HELLO FRIEND!!

Omg, yeah, I can think of the exact post you saw 🙈 it probably was about Wangxian (so both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji).

In my defense!!! I binge-watched that show in less than two days, up to 4 am, as an emotionally vulnerable 18 year old the night before her visa interview.

Safe to say, I was not in my right mind XD

But yeah, I called their story "the best love story ever told" while pitching the show to my friend, and now I can't stand looking at them– the switch up was crazy.

Let's think: what would 18 year old me think of Dazai?

Regrettably, I am almost positive he would appear much more sympathetic to me then. His struggle regarding his humanity would cut me to my core, and the fact that he left the Mafia behind would probably have me going, "He's trying his best!! He's gone through so much and should not be punished for having trouble being good when he has never known it before!"

*sounds of me throwing up*

I think I would project a lot of my teenage angst onto him, to be honest, which would make me more tolerant and him more relatable. It's why I find the justifications people make for Dazai quite childish; like, that's a teenager's mindset and point of view that you're taking.

On the other hand, Akutagawa is also a factor.

I probably would have liked both Akutagawa and Dazai, and would have wished for a reconciliation between them. I just know I would have written a lot of fanfics where Dazai cared and did better by him. I still would love for nothing more than their relationship to heal, but back then, I would have excused Dazai's actions in order to reach it.

I shall take the chance to say that I am a huge advocate of the "let Dazai and Akutagawa heal and be friends and care for each other" agenda. That surprises my friend a lot, considering my hatred of Dazai, but I'm like??? I'm searching for happy endings here?? Of course I want to see Dazai be proud of Akutagawa, and see him teasing Akutagawa the way he does Atsushi, and see Akutagawa be comfortable around him??

I don't fuck with people who don't like Akutagawa, therefore, if he liked Akutagawa, he'd get rights. Math is mathing.

[quirkle2]

Any head canons about Zombie Mob and after he's cured?

hrrmmmmm still kinda changin little things around for how zombies work in general bc im indecisive but im gonna use this ask as an excuse to talk abt How He Works

the other day i was thinkin abt his protectiveness over ritsu, and how it only reaches so far before it makes a full stop. it Would seem like he'd be alarmed at ritsu being hurt in any capacity, but that's not always the case. rly, it depends entirely on how ritsu reacts to the injury

remember, zombies don't have a good grasp on past events beyond their turning—a lot of them can remember faces and names and basic concepts but most things are lost in the froth. since zombies don't feel pain and therefore do not feel the consequences of an injury, their association with things like blood and seeing open wounds is not negative—why would it be, when they've experienced nothing negative from them? it is simply a Neutral Thing in their eyes

however, zombies are still human, and when healthy humans are hurt, they usually scream or cry or Something. hearing another human yell in pain is often a little harrowing, and on pure instinct zombies will sometimes flock to this noise in a very innocent mindset of wanting to aid. the thought process of hungry zombies hearing that is a little different, and they will prolly try to eat whatever is vulnerable and hurting. zombies that aren't hungry atm tho will simply wanna check it out

hearing ritsu scream will trigger that protective instinct in mob. seeing his brother's arm torn to shreds tho? Only if he's actively acting distressed. if ritsu got a gash in his leg but he's toughing it out even as it seeps blood, mob will simply just.stare. right at the open wound. and be Unbothered. he doesn't quite understand anymore that a hole in ur flesh is painful—he does understand pained sounds, tho

if ritsu is actively upset for other reasons aka the 17 mental illnesses he's developed mob will start getting antsy. u ever heard of animals actin weird before a big storm rolls in? kinda like that. he's distressed that his brother is distressed and he doesn't rly know how to make it better, so he just starts shuffling his feet and acting like he doesn't know where to go next. he also tends to plop his head down on ritsu's shoulder like i've mentioned (i think) and it's a 50/50 chance on whether that makes it any better

on the subject of his constant exhaustion, when ritsu finally does get mob to fall sleep he is Out and Unmoving and his body is so desperate for energy that he doesn't wake up for the next 21 fucking hours or more. ritsu actually regularly gets worried abt how long he sleeps. he's simply resigned himself to being 40% more stressed during his naps

zombie mob also loves water ! another remnant of Before—they had a stream in their backyard before everything went to shit and they had to leave, and mob Loved that thing. he'd sit in the backyard and listen to the sound of the water trickling for hours. nowadays, if they find any sort of stream or source of flowing water, it's very hard to get mob to leave. he loves listening to it and if it's coming from above and splashing to the ground he'll stand in the stream and be the most content zombie that ever lived. unfortunately he's also wet now. sorry ritsu

hrrmmmmm vaguely related to the first thing... mob is a bit like a cat that keeps knocking shit over when it comes to sneaking around settlement patrols. ritsu does his absolute best to steer clear of patrols by a long shot in general, but sometimes it's necessary to squeeze past one. normal mob is quiet and his steps are soft and while he's not the most graceful he's not a walking hazard—zombie mob is tho <3

he doesn't rly Understand that the goal is to not be seen and these people have guns and those guns can hashtag kill you to death, and ritsu can only do so much to "tell" mob to be quiet. he doesn't understand any of the hand signals he gives him, any of the Shush gestures, and mob is absolutely fascinated by this vase—oh it broke. oh neat, footsteps and yelling that's fun

most of the time they get by unscathed.but sometimes mob will do the worst possible thing at the worst possible moment and those r the times ritsu gets truly and genuinely frustrated w him. poor guy can't help it he's a zombie.ritsu knows this .he pushes on

in regards to patrols, actually, it's interesting to think about how zombies Learn. they,, seemingly don't. a lot of the times, the consequences of something bad they do is either pain, or death, and since they don't feel pain ... well u can't exactly learn from that. a lot of the times, zombies will keep doing one thing over and over again, even if it's actively killing them, until they die from it

zombies are attracted to noises and smells, so it stands to reason that mob might be inclined to walk right up to a patrol car. there's people here ! let's check it out. and zombies do this all the time. all a patrol car has to do, rly, is keep its engine running, and zombies within earshot of it will flock and then get killed

mob, interestingly, is in a position to Learn as a zombie. not many zombies keep their lives after running into a patrol car, but mob has protection, and people looking after him. mob has walked away from patrol cars w his life many times. and i think he starts to understand that they're dangerous once ritsu gets hurt

it takes a couple rounds of it to get it through his head, but the next patrol car he sees and considers venturing to, he thinks about what happened last time this occurred—the screaming from ritsu, mainly—and he stops. if mob were suddenly alone, and ritsu was gone, he'd surely walk right up to that patrol car and get shot in the head for it. it's not like he'll feel it. but ritsu is with him, and he doesn't want his little brother to scream like that again, so he decides not to, and lets himself get led away from the car

tome notes this change in behavior w Great interest and ritsu is honestly just glad he'll now experience approximately 3 less heart attacks per month

[girltalkcollectives]

Sunday Secrets (11/2/24)

Sunday Secrets: Submission 1:

i have a problem. i've been dating this girl for eight months. she's been a really amazing girlfriend, we dont fight, shes lovely and she made me so happy.

but now, with school starting and the fact that we go to different schools (plus, she has a lot of after-school activities so its hard to plan hangouts), i dont know if i want to be with her anymore. shes a really beautiful, sweet person, and i really did love her. but i dont think our relationship is going anywhere, and ive never broken up with someone before.

i find myself dreading hanging out with her. i feel like we dont click like we used to, and im worried that she doesnt feel the same and ill break her heart ending our relationship.

what should i do? how do i end it, while saying its ENTIRELY a me problem (cheesy, whatever), and that shes made me really happy but i dont think we should keep dating?

i really genuinely like her platonically, and i think she deserves someone who can be there for her better than i can. i dont think im a good fit for her anymore, and i feel like its not good for either of us to be in this relationship when im not in the right mindset for it. shes also not an easy person to plan dates for, and she doesnt like a lot of the same food as i do, and isnt that willing to try it.

school is also killing me, and im in a fairly bad place mentally, and i just dont think i can be there for her the way she needs.

what do i do?

Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable with us about your situation. We can tell how much you care about your girlfriend and how much thought you’ve put into this decision. It’s refreshing to see someone being so considerate about ending a relationship, rather than just ghosting or creating drama.

First, we want to validate your feelings here. It’s completely normal for relationships to change as life circumstances shift, and it doesn’t make you a bad person for recognizing when something isn’t working anymore. School stress, different schedules, and growing apart are all valid reasons to reevaluate a relationship.

Our Advice to You:

The fact that you’re dreading hangouts is actually a really important sign to pay attention to. When you’re in the right relationship, even if things are hard, you should generally look forward to seeing that person.

You mentioned this is your first breakup, which can make it extra scary. But from what you’ve written, you seem to have a really mature perspective on why this needs to happen.

The timing might never feel “perfect,” but being honest sooner rather than later is usually kinder than letting things drag on when your heart isn’t in it anymore.

As for the how — we suggest keeping it simple and honest. Maybe try something like: “I need to be honest with you. You’re an amazing person, and these past eight months have meant a lot to me. But with school and our different schedules, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I don’t feel I can be the partner you deserve right now. This isn’t about anything you’ve done wrong — you’ve been wonderful. I just need to focus on my mental health and school, and I don’t think it’s fair to either of us to continue when I can’t give 100% to this relationship.”

Some tips for the conversation:

Choose a private place to talk

Pick a time when neither of you has to rush off somewhere

Be prepared for emotions (both hers and yours)

Avoid phrases like “let’s be friends” in the moment (even if you want that eventually, give it time)

Stand firm in your decision — going back and forth will only make it harder

To our Girl Talk Collectives community: Have any of you had to end a relationship with someone you still care about? How did you handle it? Drop your advice in the comments below!

*You can always reach out to us through our DMs. We check them regularly and are here to support you.

Much Love,

Sarah+Maya

[anthonycrowley]

same anon w the braime fic - IM SO GLAD i also did the classic tv show > ao3 > actual asoiaf source text order of consumption lol i wasn’t sure if you were abstaining from fic till u read the books or smth idk but anyway. if u did a fic rec i would totally eat that up

braime dynamic is so far up my street u are so right about horny subtext + slow reveal emotional vulnerability, plus a side of enemies to lovers or like. prisoner/captor to reluctant allies to lovers. man i haven’t thought about them in so long… are there any other pairings in the show/books that u enjoy?

naaaah fuck that noise, no offense but i needed to be in the right mindset to read multiple thousand plus page books and i like fanfic. sorry. i guess. i’m here now. anyway.

i could talk about them but. god. clenches fist. i’ll go insane. and people will stop listening to my commentary. i think you got it except metatextually they are destiel. like what happened to destiel happened to them. two nickels. absolutely bonkers.

aaaaaand as far as other pairings. hm. i think largely i tend to gravitate towards character’s plotlines rather than ships - i find arya fascinating but not don’t really care all that much about gendarya, although i don’t mind it. - braime being the exception. or if i do find pairings interesting they’re usually more because of platonic reasons more than romantic. if i had to pick. hm. and before i say these we are going to remember this is the problematic ship book and i am not necessarily saying they are morally good just very fun to explore. jokes aside stavos has some hilson energy going on. what do you want from me. i think samgilly is cute (this is helped because sam is one of my faves). is it weird if i say robbjeyne is cute. jaimecersei i actually do enjoy in a these two are toxically codependent in a fun way and i wish people could explore it in a way that’s not incredibly black and white because there’s A Lot there. sansatyrion but i think that one might get me shot (and once she’s older preferably). robbtheon i get the appeal of and makes me insane to think about but i don’t like read fic for them. sansamargaery because sansa deserves nice things and i think they’d be good for each other. my hottest take i think is that jon and sam should explore each other’s bodies and i do feel this wholeheartedly and unironically. that’s all i can think of off the top of my head there’s so many fucking characters in this book. why are most of my ships straight. feels wrong. or maybe that’s just what happens when the female characters are good. idk.

[sockori]

shmupdate 🧦

very long, hastily written, but a look is appreciated

greetings- to those who are somehow still lingering around this account or came up upon it during my desolate time off. it is sock. or sockori.... or raven... my name is actually raven (they/it, 20 yo disabled autistic goth nerd whatever the fuck). howdy

im still on the 'undetermined hiatus' so to speak that i described in my leaving post, but i will say right now that i have no near future plans on returning. in the tags on my newest art, i mentioned my naruto hyperfixation (of like. 6 years i think) finally died out and other interests have long since captured my autism full force. for me personally, when i lose a special interest like this so drastically, i just full on abandon it for as long as it stands. however, this isn't the only thing that made me leave, and i think its time for me to be completely honest & get some weight off my chest.

i made this account around the cusp of turning 14, during a god awful pubescent era where i acted as any other edgy teen does and i'd much rather like to forget these days. what im saying is i was not in the right mindset at all when i exposed myself that much & got the attention that i did. a dismayingly giant coping mechanism i had in my youth was being online 24/7 because i had no one in reality to lean on let alone feel comfortable talking to about anything that was happening at that time. this of course leads to what the kids call these days being 'chronically online'- desperate for some sort of assurance or interaction, i crawled into internet spaces i shouldn't have been for an also incredibly unsupervised child using the dangerous worldwide web.

yes, naruto was apart of this, as well as other interests i had at the time. throughout my journey i met unsavory people, suffered abhorrent things like stalking & gr---ming, saw things i didn't deserve to see, did a bunch of stupid shit an angsty teen does, i believe you understand the rest. i am in no way proud or gleeful about any of these years and have some very sour memories tied to fandom as a whole, not just naruto, and i really don't like reflecting on them. so, unfortunately, this account sorta became a bitter reminder of what i went through as i grew up & finally matured and sought to recover. that's the first part of why my activity fizzled away & i began backing off from internet use entirely.

the second part is sasori. yes, the puppet man. sorta the sole reason i made sockori in the first place. as the sasori enjoyers following / who followed know, this puppeteer has an incredibly unhealthy philosophy and worldview (if the carefully preserved corpses turned puppets and complete lack of humanity didn't give that away), and is safe to say entirely detached from his reality to a nhilistic and suicidal extent. when you autistically fixate on a character like how i did, sometimes this character's rhetoric can seep into your own without you even realizing; Especially when you're a spot where you are incredibly vulnerable and psychologically unstable, as i was in my youth. now i didn't go around believing you should uhhh murder people and preserve them Obviously- actually i began to believe that perhaps there was some peace in obtaining a robotic existence. maybe emotions were useless, perhaps nothing truly mattered, my life didn't matter, art in eternal in the sense that death is scary and i should avoid it at all costs, why make connections with people when they just die or leave, cant trust people at all to help me, xyz. anything in these lines. without going too uncomfortably deep for everyone's sake and mine, it fucked me up severely. i suppose in a way it relates to how he uses poison. his toxins got right into my nervous system, but the pain i felt from those toxins was the only thing i could really rely on at the time, so i just let it happen. such is the depressing case of coping in the worst spot of your life.

cant help but feel incredibly strange telling the tale, as it sounds so obscure doesn't it, but media can truly get inside your psyche like this if a consumer isn't careful. not sure if anyone else out there fell into a similar headspace dealing with interests in this nature- but regardless. what i mean to say is, sasori is now a kind of content i cant consume anymore. i am in a way better place now, have grown wise and balanced with careful recovery and patience, and of course have grown out of whatever teenage nonsense i was on. sasori, who was once the only thing my autistic traumatized ass could lean on, is now an extremely dark shadow on my life. yes i see this homicidal anime puppet dude from a fantasy ninja anime and get psychological distress. he's somewhat of an aggressor or abuser to me now, which is tragic. ive been actively avoiding everything even vaguely relating to him, be it the art of puppetry, anime clips, robotic/sci-fi genre, whatnot cause i just. man. i dont wanna go back there. shouldn't have to explain why at this point. ptsd at its finest

feel like ive been honest enough. sasori enjoyers out there who were just around to enjoy what i made, anyone i happened to be good friends with during my time on this account, this doesn't have anything to do with you guys. i appreciate everyone dearly for supporting me and cheering me on in whatever i made despite all the hell & anguish that was taking place beyond the keyboard. im just glad that i managed to find some way out and get the help i need before i gave up & took my own life, which depressingly i almost did a handful of times. carrying the horrors is an exhausting burden to bare sometimes, but that does not mean i can't look back on the good parts of the era too. and seeing you all happy and sharing my memes or whatever made me ecstatic and at least a little bit hopeful for the future. fortunately that little spark of hope grew into something more. thanks for being a light in a very, very dark room.

that being said, i leave you all with this: i am not dead, just greatly changed, a new person at last freed from apathy & exhaustion, with now enough room to finally grow. the memories will never truly fade & my disabilities will be a part of me until i pass on, but at least now i can manage them a lot better than ever before, surrounded by way better people who love me for who i am. i will hang on the best i can. i wish for you to do the same. find freedom and happiness wherever you are. take care. happy trails

trans rights. i eat fascist souls. free palestine

[anniefebruary]

also bats eyes reptilian blink style. 2 & 5 😈

now these i shall answer while stimming bc i care SO BAD abt these wips. not to say idc abt the other ones but these are near and dear to my heartttt

#2 is a power rangers au of stranger things and its the lore bible for the au that i plan to write fics based off of bc im back in my power rangers hyperfixation era (dare i even say special intrest because. i kept my power rangers knowledge from childhood to this day feel free to ask my opinions)

#5 is fic based on the 2012 movie Chronicle thats SO good and kingsley vanweezer for sure put me on i definitely reccomend watching it

posting snippets under the cut but. does a little dance

#2

The best scientific minds of the time came together to create a type of mobile armor that allows for the wearer to have more of an edge in combat. More agile, more focused, more resistant. Rumors are that the primary creator based each on positive traits when the team behind the devices assumed the users would be young adults. This gimmick wasn’t well known, but as the testing of the devices progressed, having a mindset that matched each device benefitted the user in more of a psychological manner than physical. However, the colors of each device and armor were made to simply keep track of agents and what they possessed. Each device contained a tracker to find the others if they were lost. 

The first agent found was assigned the first device, Red, once he exhibited exceptional abilities in both powers and combat. Therefore, Red was associated with leadership, and Agent One, Henry Creel, was destined to be at the head of the task force along with seven other members. More than seven people were found with strange powers, and the unfortunate motivation for training as many as they could find was for…security, in case the other agents were to be inadequate in combat to the point of, for lack of better phrasing, death. But the agents were trained to avoid that at all costs. Perhaps they were trained too hard.

When Agent Eight, Kali Prasad, escaped, she stole the Purple device to aid her. Of course, since her abilities were tied to altering perception, she took the one colloquially referred to as “Mind” and disabled its tracker. Authorities are still searching for it, but in the meantime, all evidence of her and the stolen device were wiped from the data kept by Hawkins Lab, just to cover their tracks. Training became harder, security became stricter, and Agent One was integrated into said security. 

This was a grave mistake.

#5

Andrew's eyes scanned Steve's face, then flickered his eyes to the ground. "Stop looking at me like that." 

"Like what?" Steve moved his hands back to his sides, but kept the same proximity.

"Like...that." He wanted to say like that sunset we watched, all bright and blinding. Pure radiance. Like I'm worth looking at. 

Steve lowered his brows and head, trying to catch Andrew's eyes. "Do you not...like me looking at you?" he asked cautiously.

Andrew looked up into soft brown eyes. Ever since they'd gone in that cave, he's felt more connected to Matt and Steve. Not in the bonding time way, but in the actual mental link. The more they hung out, the more he could feel the subtle ebb and flow of their feelings; it created a fun feedback loop when they were giddy, but overusing powers had them all reaching for napkins. Right now was no different. Steve was so vulnerable, so earnest that Andrew could feel the slight spike in anxiety in his chest (or was that his own?) yet the cautious adoration in his eyes.

[kusundei]

chat somethitb baf is happening.

no bcuz i had tbaf feeling this mornjng a little. i assumed it was me recovering from what i had said last night and grieving slightly but as the hours pass im slowly getting mire and more scared. i feel. sick.

i just i pdnt know god forbid the shower isnt helping. i think its the hot water its makinf it hard ti breathe but i know i wont have a panic attack no more how hard id wish it jnto existance. god how i wish i cohld have them still but im doomed to recovery even if it makes me more ill. im shaking and the water is boiling but i fesl cold. my throat is closing in on itself and j cant breathjkiuhwe? and i just feel so. so. torn? confused? doomed?

i. just. theres so much going in i think and god let it be the homework looming over me or the threat of the job or just home or eli and kira or god ajax. let jt be any but not all at once i am sick

i just i feel os. so. so. so. ? i cnatn even explain it i feel too mich right now and i cant pinpoint what im feelifn exaclty im jsut i cant

the most horrible bit abo this is that eight now like ysual im thinking about her. shes pipped into my mi today and she wont leave me alone and its been looming ovee me more than usual i just i dont know ehat is happening i feel strange nad insecure and i want to have a panica ttaxk so fuckinf abd but i cant because i hate when it just sticks okto me i feel sick

i genuinely cant im jjst so. fucking. i dokt knowni just i keep thinking about everything for no reason and its freakinf menkht and god forbif i just i .? i??, i want ajax so bad right njow?,? do nkt miscontrue my words i hhst i want to tely on someone and i want to let myself be vulnerable and i want to cry and i want someone to hug me and tlel me everyhtjng will be okay and that im nkt a burden and i can take up space and i can feel my own feeling snad j dont have to leep bearing others and keep doing thigs flr lther people and i want somekne to tell me im not selfish and im not a horrible person and god what the fuc is happenjnf tl me

i jsht god i cannt. the teason jd is looming so badly over me and gkf forbid i thjnk about bella too right now bht j jsut i cant? im taunting by mysrlf. consemning myself. i can commhnicate i am good at thag i can help myself but i juet i dont know what im doinfg. i feel strange and matbe thats what it is from yesterday because i said that and i regret it because i teel like ive just dumped all my feelings out for no reason i let mtself be vulnerable becahse i wasnt thiking straight and now im scared. im scared in the same wag hes scared i dont like change. i dont like jt and im thinking abkut it now and in scared? and jdotn know why??? i want change with you but im also horrified i wont be enlufh and i cant help. god forbid jd mindset rekindles inside of me but i jjst im so scared to be vulnerable. ii want to rely on someone j want to bevulnerabme i want to tell you im not feeljng good right now and i want you to know eberythint about me and i want you to understand but . but. but. theres so much stopping me. you are not mine but i am yours heh webweaving but i jhst i cant chat? ,? i an not your issue. you have your own issues you vocalized them with me and i just feel so. broken.? i dont confess that i feel the same way becahse i will not soeak into the truth that i am also doomed that i am broken and i am lying and i am a horrible person truly at heart and i wanted to help yu and put you first becaushe you mean soso much to me but i am not the good version of you i am the version of yoy that is lying to make themself feel better and victimize themself and hurt. hurt peiple hurt people. i an fuckijng ill andi an talking aboth so many things rifht now i jsut god jd i cant i mjss her but i dont i miss the wway felt with her thag i felt like i could be comfortable and talk to her and be broken but i cant do that with you because im not lile that. i an not rhat gersion of me anymore and god i just icantn fucking im ill and theres sp much . i am thinking ablht all the time god forbid your ex and the others and i am ill and sickened and selfish and horrible. and i didnt eben respond to eli and im horriblr and i keep trying to distract myself but tis nlt working and GOD you keep texting me and i jsht want to talk to you and cry i want to crt so bad i want to tell you that i need you but why do i need you why am i so attached to oyou am i already codependent from this many months? am i broken? am i still sick? i have healed in the least jmpprtant points i jjst i im sp. I cant. injsjt i need to calm down and think i feel so horrible ans so selfish i want someone to hell me but i want to be doomed but i want spmelone and i want thag to be you but im selfis h and im sorry

[fairycosmos]

when my boyfriend gets mad at me he gives me the cold shoulder and doesn't tell me the problem until much later, saying that he's just "protecting himself" from emotional harm (presumably from whatever i've "done" to him). he's doing this to me rn but i can't for the life of me figure out why he's mad at me. i have exams soon and can barely focus on them bc of him lol. anyway, not sure y i am telling u this, feel free to ignore, hope u r doing ok and sending love your way

ur boyfriend sounds like an absolute toddler im sorry 😞 like what??? unfortunately a lot of people do this, but it's one thing to need time and space to process hurt and it's another to manipulate your partner through frosty silences esp when he won't even express how that hurt was caused in the first place. TBH i really feel like until he is ready to talk about his emotions like an adult then you are not responsible for any of them. as long as he knows you are willing to talk and hear him out and he chooses to continue to act like this then honestly - it's on him. if you've made it clear to him that you want to be able to be open about your relationship problems and work on how you guys communicate because you care about the relationship enough to do that, and he's not reciprocating that mindset, that kinda speaks for itself. aggressively attention seeking + kinda mean spirited behavior that reflects his lack of emotional maturity, not you or how you deserve to be treated. im really sorry you have to put up with it - especially during such a stressful time!! he should be showing you support right now, not doing whatever this mess is. you would be completely within your rights to turn off your phone and prioritize yourself and your exams at this point. i hope you're both able to work this out and develop a healthier way of understanding each other if that's what you want, but at the same time, it's very important to know when it's time to protect your own peace. you know? and i hope youre able to talk to someone you trust around you about all of this, because it sounds quite overwhelming, and i don't blame you for being at your wits end. it's ok to reach out and be vulnerable with those around you, even if the idea is scary. the long term catharsis and clarity is worth it. good luck on your tests, i will be rooting for you!! thank you for the kind words and for being sweet ❤️ returning all that love to you. X

[honey-bee-dreamer]

alex chen listc is so utterly bpd... those abandonment issues... hoo boy i love her

Its so obvious alex falls in love hard (and not just in a romantic sense), she puts so much stock into her relationships, and gives herself over to them (and often they dont give her as much in return)

i can see her basing her entire mental state around the emotions of her FP, to the point where even the notion of them being upset at her is enough to send her into hysterics, which is how her powers come in

ties into her belief that her father leaving was somehow her fault, and carrying that over into other things

but at the same time there's a hidden hint of bitterness in her dialogue and thoughts (mostly optional things) and i can see her Splitting heavily over it.

i can very visualize steph/ryan becoming her FP and her defaulting back to people pleasing (because even tho she makes strides by the end of tc those habits are hard to break) and working herself up over the thought they may be upset at her

such as: alex giving steph a rose, and steph telling her she's leaving. maybe im projecting, but you can see a quiet sort of devastation on alex's face in that moment, because she believes her fp is going to leave her. then, of course, swinging right back around to idolization ("you mean the fuckin' world to me")

alex isnt the type to outwardly be obsessive/jealous, i dont think, she's too considerate of other's feelings for that, but i think she holds it inside a lot, which is probably worse. considering alex does have violent tendencies (power induced, but still) bottling up how she feels is not the best, especially with the thought in mind that alex has Very Big Feelings. (replaying with this mindset put alex smashing the trophy in a new light. even though she'd never say it, a small part of her feels as if gabe somehow "left her" and hearing his voice once more brought all of those conflicting feelings to the surface)

anyways thats also why ryan not believing alex is all the more tragic, because in that scenario, he's alex's FP and though his reasons for not believing alex are understandable, in the mind of a person with bpd who just had a very vulnerable moment, it's so easy to see it as "this person hates me in specific and is doing this out of a targeted dislike for me"

which is why i can believe that alex wouldn't forgive him, but then regret it, as people with bpd can often push people away in the throes of a Split only to realize they were overreacting, but now they're lost on how to get that person back.

holy god i've been talking for so fucking long, okay im done

[hiemalstar]

niragis speech on humanity: opinions?

introduction

hey tumblr, im back again. this time, to talk about a well known scene from season one of alice in borderland. sorry guys, still no manga. anyway, lets jump right into what todays topic is actually going to be; niragis speech on humanity.

this speech is played out before 10 of hearts / witch hunt as usagi is held down onto a bed while niragi proceeds to sexually assault her and attempted rape which is interrupted by the starting of witch hunt. what do i have to say about this speech? lets take a look.

niragis speech 

"predisposition. when left alone, man is a creature that plunders, rapes, kills. so shouldn't we revel in it? what's wrong with living our true selves?" this is exactly what he says (source is aliceinborderland.fandom.com - niragi suguru quotes)- i wont sugarcoat it. obviously, he says some interesting things in this. lets debunk it.

debunking the speech

predisposition. from the cambridge dictionary, predisposition is described as the state of being likely to behave in a particular way or to suffer from a particular disease. this is pretty self explanatory for his statement, but just so it lines up lets talk about the second portion. 

“when left alone, man is a creature that plunders, rapes, kills. so shouldnt we revel in it?”  this is obviously referring to human nature; people act a certain way because its part of human nature. no matter if its right or wrong, it will always be a part of humanity. he is unmistakably right. i can say this from experience; when people are given the opportunity to things like rape, sa, plunder, and kill, they will do it. i was sexually assaulted by two of my exes because in that position/relationship i was vulnerable and they had their opportunity. we see people steal everyday, even post about it online. hundreds to thousands of deaths happen every year by murder. nor right or wrong, what niragi says in that line is true.  to top this section off, he says “so shouldnt we revel in it?” taken the time and opportunity he has, he will obviously revel in it during borderland. i mentioned this in my niragi analyzation post a bit down my page; when people like him and guaranteed many other people are given the opportunity to do illegal things, they will do it. while it isnt RIGHT, its an opportunity and i can confirm that a lot of people will take that chance to do it. 

“whats wrong with living our true selves?” i said this before, and i will say it again. there is a LOT wrong with doing the things he mentions. but as he says, its human nature and there are people who will do bad when given the opportunity with no consequences. imagine how many crimes would be committed if laws were just stripped of humanity; because like niragi says, the sad but real truth, it is human nature. 

final opinions/conclusion

so, now that ive debunked the entire quote, its time for my conclusion. is niragi right? yes and no. he is correct that mankind will do bad when given the opportunity (how many times have i even said this word..). however, he is not right about living with true human nature. there is a reason the things he listed are illegal, and i hope you guys know why i shouldnt have to explain that. to put it short, i think hes partially right. he has the right perspective on society, but not the right mindset. i thoroughly add to this reasoning in my niragi analyzaiton post if youd like more information on his character. 

thats all for today. lmk if you guys have anything you would like me to cover/analyze!! bye <3

[mete0rbyt3]

Rewrote my sendolo analysis on a doc sooooo here you go

(im posting this on wednesday, also from my phone)

original post with scr33nshots of the discord ramble version of this

Not really an important note; some of this is just stuff I found while fact checking myself via the official wiki. I’m an amateur analyzer, don't kill me.

Little is explained about the "ritual" Seinru performs, but we know enough to figure out how it affected Edolon. Edolon was obviously afraid of losing Seinru because of just how much he depended on them. Edolon knows he isn't Seinru and that he's nothing like Seinru. Seinru is also the only person Edolon has ever been shown allowing himself to be vulnerable around.

[text from page 1103]

SEINRU: What reason would I ever have not to trust you?

EDOLON: i'm just not convinced i have what it takes.

EDOLON: i'm not like you.

EDOLON: i'm still afraid. i'll still feel the pain, even when you don't.

EDOLON: what if i can't do any of it?

EDOLON: then all i'll have accomplished is adding more misery to my life.

SEINRU: That's not going to happen.

EDOLON: and this is not a role i was meant to play.

Seinru places all of their trust into Edolon and for not knowing a better word, pretty much guilt trips him. She knows Edolon would never want to hurt her so they try and convince him that he’s perfectly capable of going on without them.

[text from page 1104]

SEINRU: All that pain would be rendered meaningless.

SEINRU: All your effort, wasted.

SEINRU: You don't want that, do you?

EDOLON: no, of course not.

EDOLON: and i wouldn't ever wish to disappoint you, either.

EDOLON: but there's still a part of me that feels like i can't do it on my own.

EDOLON: i need you, sen.

SEINRU: All of this is for you.

SEINRU: So please, don't reject this gift. Don't let me down, now of all times.

EDOLON: i...

EDOLON: i won't.

EDOLON: i love you.

SEINRU: I know you do.

SEINRU: I promise you'll be okay.

SEINRU: I've taught you everything you’ll need from this point on.

SEINRU: Besides...

SEINRU: As long as you're still here, I'll never truly be gone.

The ritual allowed Seinru to become subconsciously a part of Edolon. This was earlier implied by Seinru saying “As long as you're still here, I'll never truly be gone.” [page 1105]. It is later confirmed that Seinru is still “alive” as the homunculus [as seen on page 2292].

Another impact Seinru had on Edolon was leaving him with the thought that the world belongs to him. In Snowbound Blood, Seinru states, “Everything, from here to obliteration, belongs to you.” While Edolon is known for his quote “THIS ROTTEN, DESOLATE CARCASS OF A WORLD...BELONGS TO ME!!!”

Note: This next part isn’t too important to sendolo as a relationship, more so just Edolon. Sorry, I got side tracked while wiki fact checking myself.

Edolon's sigil is Purification, which kind of goes hand in hand with his mindset of the world belonging to him. To put it simply he wants to “cleanse the world” He starts this by targeting Repiton Corp. (really he ONLY targets corporate) The reasoning for this is his relationship with The Executive. Otherwise known as Clarud Enthral, Sestro’s ancestor. The Executive originally raised Edolon to become head of corporate. He was eventually seen as unfit for the position, leading to Sestro’s (and Hamifi’s) reduplication.

This can also technically be a reasoning for his belief of the world belonging to him. As in it quite literally is. Edolon claims that his ancestor (whom he refers to as the holistic blight) was Clarud’s soulmate. The Executive did in fact raise Edolon, which is why he says he is the rightful heir.

Seinru’s sigil is Fusion, which is pretty self explanatory at this point but I’ll summarize it here. Seinru performs a ritual, allowing them to become a part of Edolon. In other words, fuse with him. In a literal sense, Seinru becomes the homunculus. Not really sure what else to say about this.