#and im just doing mt best to keep on keeping on

[esorxy]

fengqing fic recs very high quality

its only been 2 weeks and ive legit not thought anything else since these pretty mfs infested in my mind

The Best Way to One-Up your Rival (May have Side-Effects) by viari9

(30k, basically post canon rivalry turned gay) and actually like the best fanfic ever. i keep re-reading it and will smile uncontrollably every time. i dont know if its because tgcf was literally all crack but all the fanfics are so funny for some reason. everyone is obsessed with mu qing bc hes soooo pretty and so snarky (like for what???) and he gets absolutely destroyed TM.

Your beauty never ever scared me by doordaash

(48k, MQ hanahaki) & omfg the hurt/comfort in this fic was insane while also having so much miscommunication that im fr going bald from pulling my hair out. bro the amount of time it took for them to confess... im going mad. amazing for seeing qing mei in pain and getting comforted and i was like damn they wrote such a heart wrenching fic without ANY smut but then like a week later i realised there was a part 2 which was full on pwp.

I’m fair with everyone else but you by theinkquiry

(5k, trapped in a closet but its some temple trap) this was soooo cute because qing mei legit started crying on human contact wahhhhh

try again, try again, try again by absolutefuckery

(24k, legit just kissing and fengqing with good plot) i cant remember what happened other than the kissing but i was screaming in glee the whole way through and feng xin was sooo whipped fr

little beastie by Annabec

(6k, de-aged MQ whos still a brat) reading this made me think about how feng xin would be like as a dad bc he was so cute with little MQ that MQ was like attached to him. and iMAGINE them fengqing kids omg they would be so damn funny as parents

touchstarved by nemaria

(52k, they get curse to not feel touch) bro idk why they were sooo horny at the end like calm the fuck down ur legit just touching his forearm.

I Want to Ki** You by Tyelperintal

(25k) legit DONT rememebr what this was about but it was GOOD so maybe ill reread it someday ...

The southern guide to a happy marriage by illuminate 

(27k, 'fake' marriage as gods) but they still kiss and sleep together and lovingly call each other 'husband' in public *facepalm*

I can feel your halo by illuminate

(37k) so mq loses his powers and hes like 'well the only logical thing to do now is to get fucked!' but also at the end fx is like i want to hold your hand TT and it was so sweet, also they fight a ghost

Ashes by 3isalot

(5k mq getting curse/comfort) read this for qing mei finally getting physical comfort from feng xin and xie lian <33333

love bruise by newamsterdam

(7k post mt tonglu sleeping together & switching) this is soo explicit but so damn good! i used to judge my friend for saying 'ooh this smut is so tender' but I GET IT NOW 😭😭😭

[grimsonandclover]

Hear me out, I’ve had a couple of winter sniffles so: Art just sick as a dog, fever brain and all, with Tashi and Patrick taking care of their little white boy ❤️

30s!Art!Tashi!Patrick

A short little thing about Art getting sick on vacation

SFW 724 words

established relationship, no x reader, art and tashi are still married, patrick's getting the band back together, colorado, mucus, illness, whining, mention of The Betrayer/The Lady Gaga Song (Judas), Mt. Tissue, a short one, not proofread because im #tired but also really liked writing this

"Ugh, Patrick, he's a mess."

"What? Who-- Artie?"

Tashi closes the bedroom door behind her as she slips away into the living room, joining Patrick on the couch. Her short bob, now slightly outgrown and reaching her shoulders, is swiped away from her face by his calloused fingers as Patrick waits for the diagnosis. "A miserable mess."

The brunette turns off his cracked phone, setting it aside on the leather. He turns his body more towards her as Tashi tucks one leg under the other. A pull between his brows as he bites the inside of his cheek. "I thought he never gets sick..." He mumbles more so to himself. Tashi nods, as confused as he is.

"All the time I've known him, I could probably count on both hands... but of course,"

"Of course he gets sick on vacation." Patrick finishes for her.

The three were in Colorado for a week-long getaway. It was supposed to be perfect. Lily was back home with Tashi's parents while she relaxed for the first time in fourteen years, Art was resting after winning the Open and retiring, and Patrick was finally learning to be in their lives again. They all needed it.

And then Art got sick.

He was stationed away in the master suite of the luxurious cabin hotel by the mountains. Powdery snow for as far as the eye can see, waiting to be skied on. Art would be doing no such thing.

"Baby?" His tired, sniffling voice comes from the bedroom. Tashi sighs, standing up to come to his aid. He's gotten a little whiney the few times she'd witnessed him sick. When she pushes the heavy door back open, she sees her husband still in the pile of thick blankets she left him with, sitting in the dark bedroom. Mt. Tissue piles in a trash can beside him. "Tash, I'm sorry. I know I'm being needy, I just--"

Patrick pushes into the room, past Tashi, and flops onto the large bed. It shakes the sniveling puppy-of-a-man from the force and Art winces. "I just wanted to say, I don't want you guys staying behind cause of me." He blows his stuffed nose into another tissue. Mt. Tissue grows looming. "Go out, have fun, do whatever you do in Colorado."

Tashi rolls her eyes, crossing her arms as she keeps her distance from the blonde. She loves him, and she'll care for him, but unless she needs to directly handle Art, Tashi's keeping her distance. "We're not leaving you here to rot in your misery, Art. It's a waste of money. You know how much this trip cost?"

"I paid for it, so, yes." Another tissue.

Patrick leans on one arm, uncaringly close to his former-to-current-again best friend. "Man, I hate to be rich kid Pat for a minute, but I've been skied out since, like, '04, Art. I'm fine staying here."

"Yes, Patrick. We all know about the time you ate shit when you were 16." Tashi groans from the doorway. "Spare me the retelling."

"I wasn't going to retell it, bitch." Patrick grumbles, turning his attention back to Art-- Art, who barely pays attention to the bickering past his congestion, teeth aching, and headaches. "I just meant I'm here for you, dude. Let's wallow in misery together." He throws a fist in the air in solidarity. Tashi swats it down.

"No, no no no." She tuts, yanking Patrick out of the bed. "You are not wallowing with him because you are not getting sick, too. I'll kill myself if I have to listen to you whine about whatever color your mucus is."

"I don't whine about my mucus..." Art mumbles, feeling like it's some attack on his complaining.

Patrick snorts. "You showed me when it was, like, lime green. Shut the fuck up, you totally do."

Tashi cringes, looking at her husband. "You did not."

Art looks away. It was a moment from one concerned, sick friend to other concerned friend. "Can't believe you told her that, Judas."

This deeply offends Patrick. "Don't Judas me! I'm not Judas!" He swats Art's arm, and the blonde whines again. "I'm sensitive..."

"You're a dick. I'm not Judas."

"Totally are, I showed that to you in confidence."

Tashi leaves the two to bicker, going to the hotel phone to call for room service.

[mushimatsu]

choromatsu handwriting post

compiled all of choromatsus handwriting that i could find bc i love him

i realize these were all made by different teams and have different sources (anime/games/webkuji/etc) but there are some similarities between them all and i think its cute. i'll try to make it easier for ppl that cannot read japanese too

(note: some of these may or may not be valid criticisms, im not a native japanese speaker but i got my bachelors in japanese. idk if this means anything to anyone im just pointing out things that im noticing and maybe it will be interesting to you. if you notice anything else interesting feel free to add)

commonalities i noticed:

sometimes will combine multiple character strokes into one (normal thing to do, i've seen some native speakers do this)

with a few exceptions (mt takao for some reason), generally neat handwriting. proper and easy to read. not too big, not too small, not over stylized, but not messy either. very choromatsu

letter in s1e24

very nice handwriting, legible and neat. this is closest to how i think i would picture his handwriting. i know that the staff across different ososan things probably don't care too deeply about keeping minute handwriting details consistent and that's why they're all gonna look different but i like this one best for him.

new years cards in s2e13

very cute, love the stupid drawing of himself. everything very nice and tidy. to me these characters look a much curlier and rounder than the ones in the letter.

for both the letter and the new years cards it looks like he was careful to properly write out all the strokes of the kanji, even for more complicated ones like 緊張 and 就職. we see in mt takao that his handwriting gets a LOT messier. i know the real reason is because it was probably different animators that did his handwriting, but i'm choosing to believe that in canon it's because both of these are more fancy/formal letters addressed to people, whereas the trip guide is just for him and his brothers and doesn't necessarily need to look nice.

also i adore his tendency to add little drawings to things, like this and the mt takao guide he's everything

trip guide from mt. takao s3e8. his handwriting here, for some reason, is exceptionally bad especially compared to everything else. he writes like a little kid and i love his shitty little drawings. he's so cute.

my teachers would always correct my kanji down to the tiniest strokes, if i wrote like this is class i would get scolded so bad. you can see him combining his strokes together for 記念撮影, this will continue for the other pictures too. cute detail imo

the 昼 in 昼食 is definitely written wrong, but the second kanji 食 might be a little nitpicky. technically that bottom part is three different strokes, not two crossed over each other

more of him combining the strokes together. i wouldn't necessarily say that's wrong, since i've seen people do that before; it's probably just a habit that happens over time. i do it in english too

HOWEVER, he did write the 日 radical in 撮影 wrong here. previously, i thought he was just combining strokes again so that it looked like three lines instead of two (note 3 and 4 are two parallel lines, he just didn't lift his pen up)

but when you look at this it's clear that he very much did write three lines this time. that's the wrong radical

anyway

another example of him writing a two stroke character with just one. again, this is fine, ive seen people write their characters like this. however it looks bad when he does it here

i love how he wrote "campfire" i love how for some reason he didn't keep the letter sizing consistent or straight. also his little campfire drawing

１９時

キャンプ

ファイヤー

also there's two ways to write そ, its just a matter of choice its not important but he writes it the second way. and he messed up a kanji again

these next ones are maybe less canon cause they're not from the show itself

Airport Matsu

very tidy, combines a couple strokes together. both 松 (matsu) characters look like he combines the last two strokes together instead of writing them as two separate ones

and he does a similar thing with the right half of 野 in Matsuno

nostalgic moments webkuji

this one he writes every stroke and doesn't combine them and that's probably because different people worked on these and the tiny details like this don't matter to anyone but me. or you could say that he wrote a little neater in high school and started simplifying things as he got older.

Rock School

he drew himself again lol

i think his handwriting looks very good here actually. idk how to describe it but i like when handwriting looks like this specific way in japanese. i've seen other people that have handwriting like this and it just looks so nice. like the characters seem to vary in size, but somehow it makes it a little easier to read imo?

like in the first bullet point (underlined in yellow), the す in 多すぎる is a little big, but like it looks nice. in the second bullet point (blue), the の in 世の中 is slightly smaller but it emphasizes the kanji on either side of it. the stroke on the side of the か characters are written a little longer than usual (red). like it just looks nice, everything is shaped really nice and whenever i see people that have this handwriting i always try to emulate it lol

Neetpro

this one is a bit messier than the others. the way he wrote チョロ just doesn't look as nice as the way he wrote it in airport matsu and nostalgic moments. the way the て is written is more curved compared to the others. also the 界 kanji (blue) is written in a way that looks weird to me, and kara from this same set also writes the kanji that way so i think the same person might have written all of them lol

also interesting is that he writes き differently in this one

i was told by one of my professors that you're supposed to write さ and き with the upper and lower parts disconnected when writing by hand. it's only in text that they're connected. but i've still seen some people write them in the connected way

in all the other examples, choromatsu doesn't write them connected like that, just this one.

sukiya app

my lovely boy and his nonsense words and lies. the handwriting here comes off as very cutesy to me, at least compared to the others. some of the ways he writes, especially any box-like shape, seems round in a way. he also connects the right half of 野 again.

overall writes very neatly, altho a lot of the kanji here seems like its very big on the top and smaller on the bottom, and a lot of the letters seem more rounded. all the other examples just feel like the writing is a bit more angular, with the exception of the new years cards.

extra: coloring book

the way he wrote his name here is messier than the other examples. i like that he added little commentary on his own coloring though ("looks good!" "the tail was black too i believe") maybe he colored this with a paintbrush????? the strokes look as if he was trying to write quickly with a brush as if it was a pen. so maybe that's why its a little messier

anyway thanks for reading. i love choromatsu

[psy--conic]

Reading the Iliad, Book 18 thoughts

This is my first time ever reading it and I know next to nothing abt greek mythology so if I interpret anything wrong by all means pls correct me

Im reading the Robert Fagles translation

I think Achilles is officially about to enter his crash out era and honestly......hell yeah

I thought the whole "The best of the Myrmidons" thing was gonna be something that was just made up in the song of Achilles but Patroclus being the best of the Myrmidons is cannon I can die happy

Anway Antilochus reaches Achilles, who is running over the reasons why Patroclus is not back and he is basically like "I hope he's not dead."

😀

Antilochus tells him that Patroclus is fucking dead.

Achilles falls to his knees and starts screaming bloody murder

Um I think he pours dirt over himself?

Mans is ripping his hair out, the whole nine yards

This attracts the attention of the enslaved women nearby and they start crying and shit too.

Please stand up ladies don't mourn for any of those men

Antiochus is crying. EVERYONE IS THROWING A FUCKING FIT

The collective sobbing grabs the attention of Achiles' mother, Thetis, and hearing her son in so much pain causes her to start crying as well.

And then all of her damn sisters start crying too

She comes up from the seabed to ask Achilles what wrong with him

Achilles tells his mother that there is no joy in living anymore since Patroclus is gone. He laments that he loved Patroclus more than anyone and that he's lost the will to live.

But before any of that, Achilles says he must kill Hector

Thetis tells him that in killing Hector he will end up killing himself and Achilles goes "Then let me die at once."

Then somewhere down the line, Achilles is talking abt his whole thing with Agamemnon and he says "Let bygones be bygones."

LMAO now you say that?😭

But there's a problem. Achilles doesn't have any armor to go into battle with. His mother tells him to just chill for a moment, she'll get him some new armor, and to not even think about going into battle until Achilles sees her return with his own eyes and then she leaves.

Menelaus and Meriones are still hauling ass back to camp with Pat's body while Hector is hot on their damn heels

But both Ajax's are shutting that shit down

Iris speeds down to Achilles and she's like "Hey, Hector is really trying to fuck up ur friend's body so at least show your face to let them know you still exist."

Achilles does that while letting out a war cry and the Trojans kinda start shitting their pants.

So they turn tail and start running back to Troy

Now everyone is back in their respective camps

Hector and a bunch of other ppl start planning what tf to do next.

Polydamas goes "Ok guys Achilles is back and that's really scary so we probably should pull back to Troy and recoup before we do anything."

Lmao Hector is so funny to me for what he does next. He gets angry at Polydamas for even suggesting something like that and he says "Arent you sick of being caged behind those walls?"

HECTOR WHAT BRO? YOU'RE ALWAYS THE MAIN ONE BEHIND THE WALLS OF TROY.

Every time shit doesn't go as planned the VERY NEXT paragraph is about how Hector is back on the wall and needs a god to tell him to get the fuck back out there.

I love him but what is he talking about rn😭

So Hector and the rest stay put.

The Greeks are fixing up Patroclus's body for his funeral. Homer tells us that Achilles has to sacrifice 12 Trojan youths to show how upset he is???

Like where the hell is he going to find 12 boys to just kill?

But Patroclus cant be burned until Hector is dead

Cut to Zeus and Hera talking about something, it's not really important

Cut to Hepaestus, he gets into the whole story abt being thrown from Mt. Olympus. But now he says It was Hera who threw him and not Zeus as we are told in an earlier book.

Ig Homer can't keep his shit straight?

Anyway, Thetis is the one who helped him when he landed on the ground.

Thetis meets up with Hephaestus and says "Please make my son armor."

"Okay, You should visit us more by the way, me and my wife love you" - Hephaestus♥️🧍🏾‍♂️

Anyway, Thetis is the one who helped him when he landed on the ground.

So we get into this whole scene of Hephaestus. It's really pretty and ornate.

He finishes making the rest of the armor and lays it at Thetis's feet.

She takes it and gives it to Achilles, and that's where we leave off

[linxnnalyn]

i request alot byt i can't hold it in anymore

MY GIRL AIRI GOT NOTHING AND IM NOT ABOUT TO SIT HERE WATCHING MT FAV CHARACTER GET NO ATTENTION

so uhm, airi x goth girl? I'm sorta a goth so i need more goth reader//or just airi dating hc if you want

Airi with a fem! goth! S/O

࣪𖤐.ᐟ note -> THIS IS SUCH A PEAK IDEA POOKIE

࣪𖤐.ᐟ warnings -> none.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ content includes -> fluff, idol x goth, very silly actually, idk what else to add 😓.

۫ ꣑ৎ Being in a relationship with Airi Momoi can be overwhelming sometimes—she’s loud, she’s proud, and she’s an idol through and through. Which means your contrasting aesthetic makes you two stand out everywhere. MMJ fands don’t even know if you’re her girlfriend or her stylist. It’s fun in its own way.

۫ ꣑ৎ Despite how bright and cheerful Airi is in the public eye, she genuinely loves your aesthetic. You were surprised the first time she told you she thought your black lipstick made you look “crazy hot” but she meant every word. She genuinely finds beauty in your darkness, and she’s always asking you to do her eyeliner or help her pick edgy accessories “so we can match, obviously.”

۫ ꣑ৎ Her phone is filled with photos of you—some candid, some posed, and some where she’s clearly using you as her personal dress-up doll. Airi likes showing you off. For some reason people think you’re just her cool best friend, but if you look close enough at her socials, the captions are always full of little inside jokes that only the two of you would understand.

۫ ꣑ৎ She always invites you to idol events even though she knows you’d rather be anywhere else. You still come for her. Airi doesn’t expect you to scream or jump with the crowd, but she’s secretly obsessed with the way you just stand in the back, arms crossed, dressed in black, watching only her. It makes her feel like a rockstar with a personal groupie.

۫ ꣑ৎ Airi loves getting ready with you. She’ll sit cross-legged on your bed in one of your oversized band shirts, surrounded by makeup and hair products, chatting your ear off while you do her hair. She pretends to pout when you tease her for being high maintenance but she adores the way your dark-painted nails look so gentle in her hair.

۫ ꣑ৎ She keeps a stash of your favorite snacks and drinks in her room. Even if she doesn’t like the taste, she’ll always have them ready for when you visit. And if you’re ever running late, she gets a little antsy—not because she doubts you, but because the day just feels off without seeing you in the corner of the mirror, watching her touch-ups.

۫ ꣑ৎ There’s a matching ring set she impulsively bought when she saw one that looked like something you’d wear—black metal, thorn-like texture. Yours fits your vibe perfectly. Hers clashes with her pastel outfits and sparkling accessories but she never takes it off. She fiddles with it constantly, especially when you’re not around.

۫ ꣑ৎ Airi gets adorably nervous around your goth friends. She always feels like they’re silently judging her for being “too pink” or “too sparkly.” You have to hold her hand under the table during group hangouts because she starts overthinking every sentence. But your friends actually like her a lot—she just can’t tell yet because they’re not the bubbly type. Not everyone says “I love you” like idols, Airi.

۫ ꣑ৎ She writes love songs about you. Lots of them. Some are obvious—full of dark metaphors, longing stares, and the thrill of opposites attracting. Some are hidden away in her notebooks, a little too personal to be shared. When she’s really missing you, she hums them under her breath during rehearsals. It’s her way of keeping you close.

۫ ꣑ৎ Airi doesn’t understand your obsession with rainy weather and graveyards, but she will still walk with you through a misty cemetery at dusk if you ask her to. She clings to your arm the entire time, pretending she’s not scared. But when you laugh and say she’s dramatic, Airi smiles—not because she’s brave, but because being with you makes even the darkest places feel warm.

[eruhamster]

no, im thinking about the whole thing of more than just one or two people reading TGCF and somehow thinking he xuan only just found out about the fate switch again. the fact that this is something people think is so insane to me because even if the specific time he learned was never given, like it's essentially spelled out for you.

hua cheng says when he xuan died, shi wudu showed up and made sure he was dead, so he xuan knew something was up with this guy. he found out he was a god and grew more suspicious. and then he infiltrated the heavens to find out more. like that's really the only actual statement we get, but like... it's so clear it's been a long time coming.

suspicions don't make you eat a bazillion water ghosts to make you into a water ghost to give you the specific powers necessary to overcome and kill a water god. he had to have known for as long as he was considered black water sinking ships. and of course he would know from the moment he infiltrated - he knows what happened to him and when. he would go up there and see that shi wudu has a brother with his name, who ascended the same day he died, who isn't known for doing anything beyond pulling a drunken party trick on an asshole. and sqx is so willing to talk to everyone, "ming yi" even complains that he throws out his array password to everyone. sqx told xie lian his ghost story, complete with a spell to make it cold and spooky with scary music while he told it, within like a month of knowing the guy. there is absolutely no way in hell that he xuan did not connect the dots within a year of infiltration.

and this idea of "well why would he spend centuries not doing anything" is so fascinating because it completely disregards the entire subtext of who he xuan is and what his relationship is with others. he is not friends with hua cheng. hua cheng is actively antagonistic toward him(and this is not just a hua cheng thing; hua cheng is actively nicer to sqx and even pei ming than he is to he xuan): he calls in inept. he says he doesn't know what he's thinking. he freaks out at him coming into his territory(puqi shrine), he is actively on edge while they're on the island, and he goads and mocks him in ways he doesn't to his other underlings. and yet hua cheng bankrolls him. he xuan is insanely in debt because hua cheng pays for his food, the cost of his fish(that hua cheng also actively dislikes), the cost of bribing heavenly officials(probably to keep their mouth shut), etc.

hua cheng doesn't help he xuan and fund his escapades because they're friends. he is clearly hua cheng's actual spy. it's a sort of payment for his services.

there's no real info on this but they clearly have a deal worked out. hua cheng pays for his expenses. he xuan was likely tasked at keeping ears out for news of xie lian. their deal was likely set to end when xie lian was located. maybe it went further, given hua cheng is so familiar with what he xuan knew as a new ghost - esecially since hua cheng is known to help ghosts pass on and help them with petty revenge or give them shelter in Ghost City in turn for their assistance(best example being the boar and chicken ghosts, they serve their chengzhu after he helped them get revenge and that's why many of the cultivators in the mt tonglu arc hate him, as seen in the ghost inn scene), it could easily be the case that he xuan came to hua cheng and they worked out a plan together. hua cheng knows how the heavens work; he ascended once. he could have come up with the infiltration plan and assisted he xuan in turn for him being a spy alongside he xuan's goal of finding out what shi wudu did. so even when he gets up there and immediately connects the dots, he'd do the work he was tasked with.

because if he only just recently found out, it would be insane to think that "ming yi" wouldn't go berserk. that "ming yi" wouldn't at the very least start acting noticeably different toward sqx. but he doesn't, because he's known.

i've seen people mention the hua cheng line of "my underling for 10 years" - this is him working out the hole he xuan found himself in when the real ming yi set off the flame pillar. "ming yi" was working as jun wu's spy for 10 years. the 10 years comment was aligning with that, giving an out so he could be taken back to the heavens with the idea that he was only jun wu's spy that was discovered after 10 years of infiltrating ghost city.

in reality, jun wu was unlucky enough(or maybe 'ming yi' volunteered) that the spy he picked was already hua cheng's spy of centuries; a double-agent. he xuan was spying, and that was why hua cheng knew the moment xie lian ascended. that is why he knew the exact mission xie lian was on and where he could find him. because he had a spy on the lookout.

and by the time their deal had been fulfilled, he xuan had been sqx's best friend for so long that he had grown complicated feelings and didn't start on the path to revenge until he had no choice: when the real ming yi finally killed himself in a cry for assistance(which, personally, i think may have been spurred by he xuan potentially deciding he wanted to keep that ming yi imprisoned indefinitely, or perhaps only due to an accident that originated from xie lian's unluckyness burning sqx).

the real issue from then on is he xuan fighting with himself, stuck between 'ming yi' and the oppressive and violent black water, seemingly actively attempting to both get his revenge while trying to salvage a relationship with sqx and keep the truth of "ming yi" from his best friend.

that's why, despite it all, he xuan still pops into the rebuilt puqi shrine to eat the food in a silent act of congratulations. xie lian actively got in the way of his plans to the point of he xuan barely being able to contain his violence and hua cheng legitimately being worried, and again, hua cheng and he xuan clearly are not friends - but hua cheng still helped him for centuries. hua cheng is the reason he got his revenge. and that warranted stopping by during a celebration.

this fits in so perfectly with their characters and the events of the story. the moment you think that the discovery happened recently, motivations come into question and it makes things muddy. like, one person who believed that he'd only just learned had said that hua cheng must have found out about xie lian's ascension through the rain master - there is not a single instance in the books that imply the rain master and hua cheng have interacted meaningfully. you have to actively make things up to go against this very clear line of what likely occurred.

this is also what makes he xuan so tragic. "ming yi" is not a complete lie, and he does try to cling to it, and only has to let it go after xie lian's continued meddling that eventually reveals the truth to sqx - long after he would have known, if he xuan actually wanted sqx to know. he wanted to stay friends with sqx, and he hated himself for it, which is why he shows a bit of himself when he asks xie lian to 'exorcise the demons in his heart.' the real he xuan is not so evil; hua cheng does not work with evil ghosts. the real he xuan has silly pet skeleton fish that assault him and accidentally poison him the moment he comes home because they're so excited to see him, and makes little jokes like teasingly sliding away from sqx when sqx recalls the 'reverend' saying everyone close to him will perish. that's why he doesn't change sqx's fate after he kills shi wudu. that's why sqx makes it clear that he xuan wasn't the one that broke his leg and arm. that's why he hesitated when sqx called out his pet name. that's why he kept and repaired sqx's fan. that's why he laughs before leaving when sqx is hounded by all his new friends about godhood. that's why he helps hua cheng one more time. that's why he congratulates xie lian on the shrine reopening. that's why he still says 'dream on' and 'do it yourself' to sqx even when there is no more ming yi; he xuan is not a bad person. he is just a man with demons. and if his hand hadn't been forced time and again, maybe he would have made the decision that being "ming yi" indefinitely wasn't such a problem. but the mountain of sins he'd committed over the centuries in the name of getting his revenge once xie lian was found was a hill too big to climb over, and once the path to revenge started, he had to do it. otherwise, what was the point of all the debt, all the lies, the wrongful imprisonments, the killing- everything he used to stand against, the crimes that others had done to him? he had to do it.

[vmqires]

costume shopping w bf!heeseung.

“ah!” you yelp, immediately covering your mouth as you hit heeseung on his shoulder. he laughs taking off a horrid mask and putting it on the shelf.

“seriously don’t do that again.” you said half jokingly as your boyfriend wraps his arms around your waist. “okay! okay i’m sorry baby.” he says softly, kissing your cheek. he walks beside you, one of his arms still around your waist and your hand in the back pocket of his jeans as the both of you walk around a halloween store.

“i still don’t know what to go as.” you sigh, resting your head against his side. “does it matter? let’s just stay in and watch scary movies together.” he says, already choosing a movie in his head. you roll your eyes. “babe i’m not missing my best friend’s birthday..” you trail off as your eyes find a cute little red riding hood costume, walking up to it while pulling your hand out of his pocket. “this is perfect hee, look.” you nudge his side. “hm? yeah it looks cute.” he scans the packaging. “i’m gonna try it on!” you slip away from his arm that was around your waist, walking towards the fitting rooms. he follows behind you like a little puppy, pouting a bit.

you enter the fitting room and he almost goes inside with you but you stop him. “the last time i let you into a fitting room with me we almost got banned.” heeseung smirks. “yeah because someone couldn’t keep it down, i remember baby.” he says very sultry, cupping your cheek, his thumb sliding across your lips and making you blush. “whatever..” you mumble, pushing him away softly, hearing his giggle as you close the curtains.

you change into the dress, the tights, and the cape/hood thing. the dress is a little shorter than expected, riding up your thighs, if you bent down the world could could see yours. still wanting his opinion, you open the curtains dramatically, spinning around and showing him the costume.

“what do you think?” his eyes widen seeing you, feeling his jeans tighten. you see him checking you out, making you bite your lower lip. “you look.. so..” he steps closer, his hands resting on your hips. “so hot.” he whispers. “you think so?” you wrap your arms around his neck. he kisses your arm, taking in a bit of your scent. “definitely.” he then leans down and presses his lips on yours. you can feel him holding back though, you take a few steps back into the fitting room, not pulling away. he bites your bottom lip, making you gasp giving him an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. you let out a soft moan at the feeling. your tongues dance against each other before pulling away to catch your breath. his forehead resting on yours. “you know, i suddenly forgot what happened last time…” his voice low as he starts to close the curtains. “…care to remind me again?”

i’m literally so miserable… i love heeseung an Abnormal amount… ANYWAYS…. i was going to write like a Whole smut thing but i was like not yet… i Gotta Perfect my skills type shit… but YEAH an idea finally came to my head hopefully more comes i Pray… ITS ALSO MT BDAY MONTH !!! me and heeseung’s birthday r just a few days apart i love him OKOK IM RAMBLING BUT I HOPE U ENJOYED AND HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT !!!!

[aglitchysylveon]

Heres this weeks art dump, it's all mostly my Outlast OC Mallory.

This is Mallory Carcer, She's a patient at Mt Massive, or was, till she escaped. Cus of Eddie

NOTE: This is also a AU, so may not follow some canon of the series, like Eddie suddenly becoming a overly devoted and protective father. Because that's what he is in this. If you don't like it, you are free to scroll away.

Im just gonna explain her lore in a nutshell so I don't make a like 30 paragraph essay on it 💀.

She was emitted when she was a kid, maybe 14 due to the accidental murder of her father when she was trying to fight him off her mom after years of just enduring and watching the abuse and not really doing anything about it cus she was scared of her dad, she pushed him off, causing him to stumble back, and hit the wall and due to the pressure, caused I think like an axe to dismount and fall on him, and kill him. She didn't know what to do, cus she was a kid. Her mom kinda lashed out at her for "killing her husband", told her to leave. So she ran off, eventually she was caught by the cops, put into juvenile detention center, till she was sold off too Murkoff, likely intending to put her in the trials, by her mom.

To put the story short, she had been there for a few months, got overlooked by the staff when they were supposed to relocate the female patients cus I guess she was hiding?, and the day of the massacre, she made a small hideout, one of the variants had found her when she was going out scavenging for food and attacked her, which is why she has those scars all over her. She then ran away till she couldn't anymore, ending up in the worst possible place anyone could possibly be. The Vocational Block.

She was found by The Groom, or Gluskin after she had hid in a locker or a box, and wasn't expecting to find a child of all things, at first he was shocked, maybe even confused. But definitely welcomed it. Something kinda sparked in him, that small shred of humanity he had left in that twisted broken mind of his. And he decided to just.. Kinda keep her around. Not as a pet or anything, OR A BRIDE. Just wanted her out his way of his work, but definitely not running around. Cus that could get in his way. So he gave her a room for her to stay in so she was "away from danger" or what he was really saying "out of my way".

Over the several hours she was down there, after him occasionally doing check-ins on her, or conversation out of curiosity, she did kinda grow on him cus the idea of being a father was something he did really want, to start over and give his kids a life he never had. So this is where the story breaks away from canon, because Gluskin decides the best option is to adopt her, and escape the asylum. So he can pursue his dream plan to start over his life. Despite not getting a """wife""", he did get a kid. So he sorta got what he wanted, besides all the murder.

The image I posted above is a dress he had made her, cus before she was wearing a really torn, dirty and maybe bloody hospital gown. Which he saw as "not ideal for a child".

Here are some other drawings of her, now these aren't really canon to her lore anymore, because they don't line up with the timeline. But I still like them. Due to her being 19 in these, this was when I first made her up before I had thought about fleshing out her lore more, (as of now, she IS 19, but she doesn't look like that, or well kinda she looks like the last image but her dress isn't all patchworked. And Gluskin isn't The Groom anymore. Doesn't mean he's gone.)

I am currently working on redesigning her current look, I already did Eddie's. I'll show him after I do Mal's.

I hope you like her :). She's a menace.

[doomdaysdecays]

of course honoured mutual @haemosexuality <3

i made it seven years ago so when i was 14-15. its called split up tale (lol) i never found a better name for it but i think it doesnt sound that bad so i’ll just let it be called that

two best friends are on a school trip on mt ebott which. is a hilarious concept now that i think about it. im not gonna explain every single thing abt the setting & just get to the general premise which is that they separate from their classmates out of stupid child curiosity as one does and end up falling down. they find that they share a soul and each of them has half of it. this is them btw their names are jane & joan <3

joan spares every monster they come across while jane slowly gets sick of her deciding for both of them. she finds the toy knife while wandering alone and keeps it. during toriels fight she gets fed up with the futile mercy attempts & kills toriel, not out of malicious intent but rather self defense. angst ensues between the girls, obviously. joan resets without thinking. they do reconcile and agree to do everything peacefully from now on <3 except that does not in fact happen and jane gets corrupted by lv

i wrote a fic for it that i never finished unfortunately but i did have more plans for it. i like rereading it, its fun <3

[swifty-fox]

of course everything you write is amazing but you’re also really out doing yourself with cicada season. the depth of gale’s trauma that you probe but don’t unfold, letting it lurk and dictate who he is while keeping us (and gale too kinda) in the dark. the way you write bucky in this is like i’m getting to know him along with gale and falling in love with him too. the history of his tbi and how it intertwines with what gale struggles with (unconsciously knowing but not knowing things about yourself and the curiosity of such a thing.) the way as gale grows so do his frogs. the comments and tidbits which i hope buck and bucky get later on when they are happy together. (gale having a family, gale having romance, gale having more than marge) i also think its hilarious that bucky doesn’t know benny is gay the same way gale didn’t think bucky was gay. gale letting him stay the night and hold him healed me in a way i hope it works to heal gale too. and the ending? oooo helen you onto him you know what you’re doing. let yourself *feel* gale 😅

i’ve also got a theory: gale is so adamant he wants no romance, nothing to chance, etc but if/when bucky shows up the next time acting like nothing ever happened he’s also gonna be like *what the fuck*

bucky taking buck’s virginity — 16 year old me who always wanted to marry the person she lost her viriginity too (i didnt but i was a romantic) is crying.

wahhh this is SO sweet im kissing you anon.

Cicada season is definitely VERY near and dear to my heart. It's such a project and I'm working so hard really deliver the best piece I can. I'm not really a Kill Your Darlings writer. I don't cut a ton. But I've cut and edited and tweaked so much of it before it's even gone to beta.

for Gale's trauma I PROMISE we're gonna get at least half an answer next chapter. But yes I think it's fun kind of unfolding what happened as Gale does in therapy. Even though he remembers, being able to confront to directly is something he struggles with. I have a friend who shall remain anonymous who has been advising me with ptsd stuff at some stress to their own triggers and I can't be more grateful that they're willing to help me out with this. (You know who you are <3)

Their (and my) main motivation was to make SURE Gale was not just his trauma and his triggers and while yes part of the point of the story is that Gale has allowed himself to become caught up in bad coping mechanisms and unable to grow I wanted you to also just learn Him before I laid it all out on the table, as you would with a real life person.

And Gale and John are two sides of the same coin! Because John absolutely has ptsd from what he went through. And so yes when he recognized the panic attack in gale in the previous chapter it's cause he's like 'damn I and people I know have been exactly there' while also holding him accountable for being a grown adult who is capable and SHOULD manage his reactions ina way that's healthy for everyone. John himself is in therapy, though a little less so now that he's a few years out (I'm still researching tbi stuff but he does have long term PT and MT support)

I thought the helen bit was sooo funny I don't think she meant be present with what you're feeling by getting dicked down but you do you gale!!!

HAH We will see. I don't plan out my chapters too much besides a few key scenes I wanna hit. How Gale reacts to something I only know before it happens about 50% of the time.

OH HAVENT WE ALLL HAD THAT MOMENT

[nicoforlifetrue]

im writeing a fic for plot swap

so the plot swap post has turned into an entire fic, with a plot chart and everything, this is going to be the basic outline for the difference in au vs cannon considering canon color crew plus purple minus orange are going to be in the au. call this the character chart. if you want to go into the au blind when i post it ignore this

Alan Becker, aka the creator, dad

actually a good stick dad, and cared for them as best he could, currently mia after the hollow heads watched him collapse and be taken away by people. the hollows are doing everything they can to find him.

Victim Becker, aka the firstborn, Vic, was an accidental creation

created rocket corp in an attempt to find the creator, runs it not to dissimilar to a mafia, ruthless with anyone perceived as being in the way, over protective of his brothers has mercs watching them near constantly so nothing can happen to them. considers his siblings an ace up his sleeve if the cards are down considering there powers are much stronger then his.

the chosen one Becker, aka the second born, cho, tco, one, created to give vic someone to spend time with

after a brief stent of destruction after alans disappearance and the pc shutting down now spends most of his time either training second or keeping the home feeling like home, the only sibling actually copeing instead of just trying to fix the problem, he and alan worked on his temper but after alans disappearance its almost as bad as when he was born.

the dark lord Becker, aka the third born, dark tdl, created to give cho someone to spar with

the most laid back after Alan's vanishing, but handling it worse then cho, has not processed what's happening at all, takes his bursts of rage out on any website that bugs him even slightly, vic encourages this, spends most days tearing the web apart trying to locate any sign of alan or sneaking second away from the mercs to go mess around in the city.

the second coming becker, aka the youngest child, sec, tsc, orange, also a complete accident

having only been around for two weeks before his dads vanishing act he blames himself for it, hasnt met any of his friends yet and is lonely, clinging to his brothers for interaction, has really bad social anxiety yet always running away from his babysitters to try and make friends, most of his brothers fear as a result of there dad vanishing has focused onto him, resulting in them being over protective. powers activated when the pc shut down, has a very basic grasp on them but they tend to react to his emotions without his imput.

the color crew(red green blue and yellow)

where never broken out of their game and are still there stuck, sick of being stuck in the fighting loop.

mango tango, aka mt, dad

suspicious of rocket corp but keeping his head down for his family, never went on his rampage because gold never died. retired professional fighter teaching gold how to fight and teaching purple he doesn't have to fight, current stay at home dad.

lilac, aka mom

also suspicious of rocket corp and is also better at keeping her head down then her husband, divorced navy when purple was six and her then husband broke their kids arm, marryed MT when purple was eight, works as a software engineer, her company is offten hired by rocket corp. her illness was treatable because of vic digging into hospital record and other such databases in an attempt to find alan, leading to her actually getting a diagnosis and eventual recovery. she can no longer work in the field and works from home most days, refuses to let MT get a job so she can quit, she likes her work too much and she knows he adores spending so much time with the kids.

marigold, aka gold, big sister

unaware of her parents worry's, is two years older then purple and wants to be a professional fighter like her dad, didn't die because the hollows had gone to the fair before them, and sec had gone in when the error was made but instead of dyeing his powers teleported him to freedom. dosent have any freinds because her energy scares most people away, she dosnt mind. she asks too many questions in too public places for her parents liking, shes going to get into something she cant get out of one of these days.

purple, aka little brother

very aware of his parents concerns, also doesn't have any friends so spends most of the time with his sister, interested in the use of icons outside of their apps, aka one of the things rocket corp specializes in, try's to keep his head down but he's got a strong sense of justice that doesn't like keeping quite

[codenamesazanka]

i dropped mha awhile ago bc it was getting a bitttt too copaganda-y for me and you are like one of three mha blogs i still follow i tuned back in again just to find out the ending im so sorry to shigaraki he shouldve at least been allowed to destroy mount fuji rip king he’ll be spitting on heroes from the skys now….. the kinda split reaction between the japanese fans and western fans is interesting to me it kinda feels like fans are reacting to two different stories? or like focused on very different aspects? anyways thanks for what you do keep it up 👍🏻

Thank you for all your follow and love for all these years!!!! <3333 i'm really happy and grateful and I hope i've kept you entertained the whole time!!!!

Yeah, BnHA is very adamant about its Heroes! So! Cool! Worship Them Like Gods! thing. Just when you think it'll be deconstructing the concept of Hero Society, All Might comes back to be fueled by the wishing energy of the world to inject acid into his opponent. Quite a choice. I'm so just in it for the villains. Sorry it didn't work out for you! And sorry you had to come back to Shigaraki ending up like that. 😭😭😭so far. He really should've been allowed to destroy Mt. Fuji.

As for the contrast between the Japanese fandom and the English-speaking fandom... I caution my observations being the whole and objective truth!

I'm much more familiar with Villain Fans Section of the English-speaking fandom; and while we're very loud and vocal, it does seem like the majority opinion is that Heroes are cool, Villains are bad, ending is acceptable. Meanwhile, I'm looking only at japanese tweets through keywords, and they're bound to be more positive because it seems like people avoid tagging their hate; anonymous message boards are freer with their criticism, but there's still never essay-length rants. I'm sure there has bound to be those existing somewhere, but with my mainly surface access into jfandom, I wouldn't know where to look for them.

Plus, there are a few people in jfandom who have the same gripes: why is Endeavor allowed to continue to be a Hero; the heteromorph resolution is majority-oriented and unfair to the minorities; the social issues aspect should've been addressed more; Deku shouldn't have invaded Shigaraki's mind like that, and it's a bit concerning that he seems to have no reaction to the total annihilation of a man in front of him, etc. Not a lot, and, as I said, not as vocal as in English-speaking fandom, but they're there.

However, from my observations, in my opinion I think there are a few key differences:

Shonen Jump is about the protag Heroes. What it is and should be. I think bnha is pointed out to be pretty uniquely sympathetic to its villains?

jfandom are much less lenient towards the Villains. They can love the League, they can criticize Heroes, but they readily acknowledge that the League have done terrible things and should be punished accordingly. Doesn't matter their sad backstories; they still hurt people and they need to pay for that. They're unforgivable. Like, the idea that Tenko killing his family - even if completely by accident, even if manipulated - is a sin no matter what and he should atone for it, is more prominent. (There are also people who will forever know Bakugou as the 'jump off the roof' bully and never forgive him no matter how much development he goes through.)

The concept of 'saving' seems to be more focused on saving the heart, freeing someone from suffering, giving them relief. It does not necessarily mean not killing them, or ever forgiving them, or ever considering them likeable.

the concept of 'the needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few' seems to also be somewhat more significant. of course the few should be accepted and treated right, and they should be accommodated, but it's best to... avoid causing trouble for other (normal) people, let's say. Sometimes, though, the few can't be made to feel accepted, and that's how things are. It's a pity. There are definitely people fighting against this idea, and English-speaking fandom isn't exempt from this either (soooo many 'wow Toga is just a psychopath' takes still existing; and also 'who cares about Muscular' even from the Villain fans), but it's a thing.

Jfandom appears to like it more that Shigaraki sticks to his guns. to the very end, he's stays true to the League; he stands by his choices and actions even if they were under undue influence; and he's a Hero to the Villains. Loyalty and a strong conviction are valued. Seems to be less fretting whether Tenko and Tomura are separate people/identities/persona. (Still a few who think 'Shimura Tenko' will come back.)

and so end result is that overall, Deku did do his job, and admirably at that. He didn't ignore The Crying Child when he could've/should've because Shigaraki was already unforgivable for his actions at Jaku (and before); he saved Shigaraki/Tenko's heart by providing relief, but that doesn't necessarily mean he needed to understand or befriend Shigaraki, or that Shigaraki should be converted (for lack of better word) and saved physically; he's a Hero who stopped a threat and saved the world; and Shigaraki disintegrating is simply just desserts.

But like I said above, it could be that those points aren't specific at all to jfandom. There are certainly a lot of people who think the ending is great and satisfying in the english-speaking fandom (and from what i've seen of machine-translated spanish/french/portuguese/etc tweets, also those fandoms). It's just the critiques are very in your face, and Villain fans are very vocal. I know I certainly am.

Thanks for the ask!!!!!

[ge]

PLEASE TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS AU🙏 😌

TEEHEE HEE ANYTHING FOR YOUUU its based on the bl cdrama winter begonia which i highly recommend watching so u can see my vision more clearly since idk how well ill be able to fully encapsulate it...its like the only cdrama ive actually finished and it holds a very dear place in my heart.. its all translated on youtube if ur interested (smile

this au takes place in 1930s shaanxi and follows chung myung, a semi-retired peking opera dan (an opera performer who takes on the roles of women in plays) who was once wildly famous and well known for his talent and passion for the arts in his youth until a tragic "accident" struck him and his former troupe, leaving his troupe to fall out of favour of the public eye and into (physical as well as financial) ruin; and tang bo, a wealthy business man from sichuan who became captivated w peking opera after watching a performance from chung myungs troupe for the first time and ends up making an acquaintanceship w chung myung and becomes the troupes main sponsor and avid supporter, helping them rebuild their huashan house as well as their former prominence and fame...

my au follows the show pretty closely and i was going to keep the political plot kind of vague since i wasnt sure how to touch on it but its a really integral part of the story so im keeping it in, the drama focusing closely on the preservation of the art during the japanese occupation......... not that im ever actually going to write anything for this au but still, it exists in my head and i need to connect the dots so

chung myung, as per always in my canon and aus, is a trans man here and that plays a pretty significant role in his life and lore of this au.. historically, women werent allowed to play in opera so men would take on the female (aka DAN) roles.. chung myung being a trans man playing a dan role is like, for him, a middle finger to the status quo and period typical transphobia he'd face if it were known as well as a spiteful internalized gesture OF 'if only you knew'.. the world would see him as a woman who isnt good enough despite him being the man who is the best.. rubs chin.. im not good w words, this makes way more sense in my head but if u get wat im trying to say then u get it..

they also all have short hair in this au SORRY i know i said i would never give them short hair in any aus i did but it has to be this way for this au, taking place during the chinese republican era where short hairstyles were mandated (this, again, ties into trans chung myung)

cheng fengtai and shang xirui are just so tangchung I CANT EXPLAIN IT YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW.. wealthy businessman whose had everything fed to him on a silver platter his whole life finds himself unhappy & wanting more from life and lonely orphan boy raised in a strict martial arts setting grows up to be the best at his craft but still wants for more.. cheng fengtai and shang xirui are soulmates.. tang bo and chung myung are soulmates.. can i make it anymore obvious..

everyone in rotmhs has an obvious counterpart in this au, like tangchung are the mcs of course but chung myungs troupe are the mt hua disciples/elders, the great sects/families (sans tang family, which is plot relevant) are involved in the opera scene in some way, the magyo are also an opera troupe in this au LOL..

but one thing i wanted desperately to keep in this au was tang bo and his wife/family/child, which is kind of hard to do since there are literally like no fucking women in rotmhs so i have to make ocs... the subplot in the drama of cft (tang bo) "cheating" (in quotations cuz they never actually crossed any lines but it was obvious there was deep unspoken romantic tension there + the wife suspected) on his wife w sxr (chung myung) is so vindicating to me.. closeted gay people cheating on their opposite sex arranged marriages/spouses for someone of the same sex.. its so real.. so freeing.. gay people trapped in straight marriages, especially in the 1930s.. i really adored the nuances in the way it was handled so beautifully in the drama so i HAD to adapt it here.. its such a guilty pleasure of mine weehehehe twirls hair

the drama ends in a bittersweet hopeful kind of way, nothing bad happens to anyone i just want to put that out there..in case ur worried, no buried gays or wateva

umm well im tired so i cant think of anythign else to say but if u love beautiful costumes, drama, heart aching romance.. IF U HAVE ANY SPECIFIC QUESTIONS JUST ASK CUZ IDK WAT ELSE TO SAY..... please watch winter begonia so we can frolic in the flower fields that are my winter begonia tangchung au...... plugging this again since who knows when yall'll see it again.. goo bye.... (chung myung in 'drunken concubine' play costume⬇️⬇️⬇️)

[blookmallow]

hey who wants some fuckign. fallout oc lore

nobody, probably. is that going to stop me. absolutely not. here's everything you never needed to know about my new vegas courier (my first one/my main file, also my first time playing a fallout in the first place)

ive probably posted some of this somewhere before but heres the exhaustive info dump version. also heres some random picrews/dolls of her, the first one is the best one. her hair is supposed to be vaguely purple tinted but picrews never have that exact shade

Bonnie Sterling - The Courier. Lone Ranger of the Mojave wasteland

Nicknames: "Bon" on occasion (mostly the King. also calls her "My Bonnie" often). i want her to have a really cool nickname as a ghoul later in life but i cannot figure one out.

i also think if things had gone differently and benny hadn't died in caesar's camp he'd call her "bonbon"

--

current plot status: Completed main storyline and every questline I could find. I went with independent vegas as my endgame but I don't think bonnie would've kicked the NCR out completely so I'm going with, she probably figured a way to negotiate a truce or something. mostly im just not thinking too hard about it since new vegas just sticks you in endgame limbo forever anyway since the game Ends when you do the final quest. Completed Dead Money and Old World Blues (but there might still be some bits left around that i didnt finish).

--

Faction Info:

NCR: Idolized. Works closely with them most of the time, but doesn't agree with everything they do.

The Kings: Idolized. Only faction she has explicitly joined. Has a close, unspecified relationship with the King. Regrets getting the NCR involved with them, but couldn't find a better solution without more bloodshed.

Caesar's Legion: Vilified. Kills legionnaires on sight. Hopes to one day take out every last one of them.

Brotherhood of Steel: Neutral. Stays out of their way, stays out of their business. Has helped them out a few times, though. (I'll be honest I cannot figure out what the hell the brotherhood is doing or stands for or anything in new vegas so i just left that one alone)

Great Khans: Mostly neutral. Doesn't really like them, per se, but is able to maintain civility with them, and convinced them not to side with Caesar.

mostly if you support the legion, you're her enemy. otherwise, it pretty much boils down to "can you be reasonably negotiated with? then we're okay"

--

Family: Mother, Cathy Sterling (deceased; suicide.) Father, Russell "Rusty" Sterling (deceased; combination of illnesses over time. Bonnie thinks the radiation caught up with him in the end.) (My 76 dweller Robin Larkspur is her great-great-great-great-great-grandmother.)

Partner/s: Ex-wife, Jolene (Unofficially divorced. Status and location unknown.) Undefined ongoing Something with the King, but immediately deflects any questions asked about it. Unlikely to ever really get serious, though the King often claims he'll get her to marry him one day. he's probably joking, but then, maybe he's not. (no basis in canon for this but ive decided it. try and stop me)

Found Family: Ed-E (best friend forever. she takes it everywhere and is extremely protective of it). Arcade (practically a brother), Raul (close friend, reminds her of her grandfather. he's the only one she has left in her future ghoul days.) Doc Mitchell (like an uncle to her. she visits him often and is still grateful to him for saving her life.)(edit: i keep calling him doc marten. that's Not His Name)

--

Notable Injuries: Gunshot wound to the head (Benny in the Goodsprings cemetery. scar, some neurological damage). Machete lacerations on her arm and neck (Benny in the deathmatch at Caesar's camp. Scars.) Frequent ongoing radiation poisoning and early stages of ghoulification after the events of New Vegas and the Sierra Madre/starts showing up around Big MT. Lung damage due to smoking, wasteland life, and exposure to the red mist post-Sierra Madre. Suffers from PTSD from the Sierra Madre. Acquires a cybernetic heart and spine at Big MT. (I have not yet played the other DLCs so I don't know what ELSE is going to happen, )

--

Favorite Items: pool balls (i obsessively steal these every time i see one. i have so many), dinosaur toys, cigarettes, whiskey, mentats, sunset sarsaparilla. Will use any weapon she can get her hands on, but likes a good old fashioned pistol best.

--

Future: Never has children. Becomes a ghoul eventually, too stubborn to die and increasingly reckless with radiation over time - part mojave legend, part cryptid.

I think, probably, she and the King drift apart after a while. He might've been serious about her once, but he saw she was pulling away (though he didn't know it was because she was starting to turn ghoul) and knew she wasn't much the settling down type anyway. He let her go, but always wished he hadn't. (I don't know if he ever finds out what happened. Not sure how he would react- I feel like he wouldn't just outright reject her, but the changes would be disturbing to him. She becomes less and less willing to let anyone see or touch her body as she changes more.)

She fully isolates herself (with the exception of Raul) when she turns. she lives for hundreds of years, until she finally just vanishes into the desert and is never seen again. maybe she's out there still. nothing in the whole goddamned wasteland could manage to kill her, and not for lack of trying

-----------------------------

Has some memory loss from the gunshot injury; probably has a few screws loose in general. Her hands shake sometimes and she gets frequent headaches. Often doesn't sleep for several days at a time.

chainsmoker. drinks a lot but can handle her liquor. has a bit of a mentats habit that only got worse after the brain injury. she isn't blatantly reckless, at least most of the time, but just doesn't care very much about her health. once you've survived getting shot in the head nothing really seems like that big of a risk anymore.

general attitude of Anything Goes - whatever happens will happen. whatever situations she finds herself in, she'll find herself out of, one way or another. or not, for that matter. she figures she won't be all that concerned about it if she's dead, anyway.

from oklahoma originally - you can definitely hear it in her accent

good at tinkering and figuring things out, but never had any kind of actual education or training - learned a lot from her father, though. she's taken to reading pre-war books about anything and everything when she comes across them. learned some combat training from her dealings in the NCR, and some functional medical knowledge from doc mitchell.

A drifter who just sort of wanders around looking for oddities, mysteries, people she can help, things to keep busy with. vaguely wants to find the men who wanted her dead - not really for revenge. just to know why. but ultimately she's just trying to live whatever kind of life she has left, and help whoever she can

has a very uncanny ability to solve problems by just asking nicely. she isn't particularly witty or charming - just really unsettlingly calm. something about her catches people off guard. she doesn't really fear anyone or anything, but knows when she's outnumbered or outmatched, and has no problem walking away. "pride's damn easy to swallow when y'keep it in a small enough pill."

isn't really on anyone's Side, but will do what she can to resolve conflict - she doesn't much care about who started it or why or who's right or who's wrong. she just thinks the world would be a little nicer if everyone stopped shooting at each other so much. she doesn't really hold grudges well, and nobody's too crazy for her to stop and listen to.

she does, however, occasionally find reasons to care. after she saw what the legion did to nipton, she's firmly against them, but also isn't interested in running after them with guns blazing. if she had an opportunity to help bring them down, though, she would. [HOWEVER: After the Sierra Madre, something broke in her. after surviving that, and having seen the NCR do nothing enough times, her long-suffering patience finally ran out. she took matters into her own hands, and with a stealth boy and a damn good gun, she broke into the legion camp and assassinated caesar herself, alone. one day she intends to go back to take out the rest of them.] ((yes i did do this. i don't know how i got out of there alive. i was really surprised by how little actually changed by doing this but i do still want to go back and try to kill the rest of them. fuck you legion))

can be very detached and cold hearted if pushed far enough. if she needs to kill you, she will.

can't stand the silence of the wilderness, so she listens to the radio near constantly. developing a complicated love-hate relationship with mr. new vegas, her oftentime only companion out in the desert. often listens to the black mountain station as well, following the drama and raving like her own personal soap opera (post tabitha plotline she misses it a lot. doesn't feel good about killing her)

hates underground/enclosed spaces and becomes mildly panicked if she feels trapped. hates vaults but knows there's often useful/interesting things in them, so she ends up exploring them anyway

has a habit of picking up odds and ends she finds around the wasteland and has filled her Novac apartment and half the lucky 38 with junk she swears could be useful one day, somehow. started collecting pool balls and has now practically developed a compulsion around them. seems to end up with another dinosaur every time she stops by the novac gift shop

frequently just jumps off railings/small cliffs because stairs take too long. this absolutely drives arcade up the wall and he hates trying to keep up with her. self preservation instinct sometimes just Doesn't

played guitar years ago. doesn't think she'd remember anymore, but some part of her hopes to find one someday to see if it's still in her somewhere. [post-sierra madre: she did find one, and against all odds managed to get it home. she didn't touch it for months, recovering from the trauma, but has started toying with it a little. she's not as good as she once was, but it's starting to come back.]

fiercely protective of ed-e, and never goes anywhere without it. (in my mind ed-e comes too even if she has other companions, game limitations be damned) doesn't really trust most people to travel with her for long. spends the most time with arcade and raul otherwise. (has traveled with veronica and cass briefly, but doesn't know either of them all that well, and doesn't really trust the brotherhood enough to let veronica very close. i havent really spent enough time with lily to decide what their dynamic is. i love her though)

brought a sarsaparilla star badge for primm slim. he loves it

also gives stars to all her companions and insists they wear them. refuses any explanation as to why. may in fact just be messing with them. she taped one on to ed-e as well.

as much as she loves arcade, kicked him out of the lucky 38 for stealing her rare nuka colas (this is canon. he did this to me.) raul is the only one who lives there. she doesn't really like sharing a living space, but the lucky 38 has plenty of room, and she trusts raul more than anyone else (and over time he becomes her oldest friend, given her eventual ghoul lifespan)

often sits and talks with no-bark. doesn't understand most of what he says, but she likes to listen anyway

stops to visit rotface every time she's in town. i wish i could be his friend i love him

sometimes goes to visit victor (or what's left of him) in goodsprings, even though for all she can tell, he's dead. treats his deactivated shell like a grave. doesn't understand what happened to him and can't figure out how to fix him.

--

was badly traumatized at Caesar's camp. seeing how many of them there were, talking to the slave women and seeing the pain and emptiness in their faces, hearing the cold laughter of the legionnaires and feeling their eyes on her did something to her. she felt scared for the first time in years. she was given her revenge, and it felt awful. after everything benny did to her, she felt nothing but disgusted with herself when he lay dead at her feet.

(note: I had intended to spare him here, but then discovered there was practically no way to get him out alive, and nothing actually happens from what ive read if you somehow do get him to survive. so like...... he's Supposed to die here. i decided the next most in character decision i could make was to at least make it a fair fight. i think that turned out to be more narratively interesting anyway) (i cant explain my feelings for benny. i don't know why i didn't want revenge. i don't know why i felt so empty after he was dead)

has deep scars across her neck and her arm from the machete duel. She still uses Benny's lighter, and refuses to talk about it.

she also suffered severe trauma in the Sierra Madre incident. she was fully delirious when she came back to the mojave, and managed to stumble her way to camp forlorn hope before she collapsed and remained unconscious for several days. the NCR medics weren't sure she would make it. she finally awoke in a blind incomprehensible panic. after some time, she calmed down to a numb, raw emptiness, and still refused any explanation for where she had been or what had happened to her - just insisting to the point of desperation that she had to get home. She never talks about the Sierra Madre. Not to anyone. She has lasting lung damage from the effects of the Cloud to this day.

Wanders the wastes looking for Dog from time to time, but never saw him again. She has PTSD around beeping noises, and cannot stand feeling anything against her neck. Has fully torn collars off of her shirts just to relieve this anxiety before.

Oddly, waking up with her organs missing in Big MT wasn't nearly as much of a shock. maybe by the time she was forced to admit it was the truth she'd just already accepted it. the whole thing felt like a fever dream anyway. (john mulaney voice) this might as well happen

actually found the Sink a very agreeable place to live - the talking appliances were. eccentric, but she liked their company, and the place suits her just fine. she found herself becoming quite comfortable there, though she was worried about leaving ED-E behind in the Mojave with no way to let it know she was okay

made it through Big MT without violence (well. against the robots, anyway. there was a lot of violence) finding she actually quite liked Dr. Mobius when she found him. she still visits him often.

left her heart and spine behind in the Sink; the thought chills her sometimes, but her cybernetic new parts make her feel a little bit stronger.

--

backstory

Only child. her mother cathy was a strange, melancholy woman who never smiled and was always ill, likely radiation sickness. she was mentally ill, as well, and spent most of her time staring off into space with blank, empty eyes. bonnie's father claimed she wasn't always like that, but never said a word about what had happened to her. Cathy committed suicide via taking as many chems at once as she could when Bonnie was 12 years old.

Her father Rusty was a rough, stubborn man, and was often hard on her, but loved her, and taught her how to survive. he smoked and drank a lot, and didn't care to watch his radiation levels, believing he was strong enough to withstand it (and didn't take much stock in threats he couldn't see). He was injured when bonnie was around 19, and his health declined rapidly, but he refused to see a doctor. He died, maybe from radiation, maybe from infection, maybe from a lot of things. Bonnie misses him, but felt it was inevitable that something would take him eventually (Note Rusty is descended from Robin/from Ash, but I don't have all those blanks filled in)

Bonnie once had a wife - Jolene. things ended very poorly. Jolene betrayed her and sold her out to a group of gangsters (for what reason/exact context i dont really know) - bonnie almost killed her in anger and grief, but shot the wall above her head instead and left her there. She never saw her again. doesn't know if jolene is alive or dead, and isn't sure which news would be worse.

✨ bonnie

[polarmoon]

hey there! 👋🏻 i'm a sims 4 player who just recently got into sims 2 and wanted to ask... how do you do CC management? is there a program out there that's like S4S and lets you preview the items, or do you loop stuff up by name?

hihi! so im a super beginner when it comes to managing cc in ts2, like rn i'm doing my first ever Big purge of my downloads folder in the 4+ yrs i've been playing ts2. so i might not be the authority on The Best Method but i'll try to explain what has been working for me lol!

i used this guide as a jumping off point for getting started, but i did end up figuring out my own method as i went. it was definitely helpful though!

so first before anything i highly recommend having your cc and mods at least somewhat organized before you even start. even if it's just basic folders like buildbuy, cas, mods, etc. if you have everything all thrown into your downloads folder in one jumble with no subfolders then this might be a lot more difficult and you might have to like. tackle that issue before this one LOL

before starting i made a backup! just in case i broke something. especially my saves. then, for the sake of faster loadtimes (knowing i'd be in and out of game a bunch), i took all my non-essential folders out of my downloads folder, while tackling individual sections at a time. so when i was working on build/buy, the game didn't have to load up another 10gb of cas cc, and vice versa. i kept all my mods in tho bc im scared of breaking my game lmfao. and then i created a fresh empty hood - definitely don't do this in a hood you actively play!

for build/buy, i put everything i didn't want to keep down on an empty lot. then i packaged the lot, exited the game, and used clean installer to extract all the cc files to a new separate folder outside of my downloads folder. i then dragged those files into my main folder, selected "replace" when asked about duplicates, which let me easily delete the files bc they were highlighted (hopefully that makes sense lmao). then i went back in game, checked to see if any files were broken due to missing meshes, and then either deleted the broken files or re-downloaded the meshes. i basically do this the exact same way in ts4 using tray importer if you're familiar with that method!

for cas stuff it was a bit more complicated since you can't add multiple hairs/outfits to the same sim like in ts4, which makes it a lot harder to do the same process i did with build/buy

first, i grabbed this program off mts to add tooltips to all my cas cc. that way in game i can easily identify what the file might be called by hovering over it. with my game open on one monitor and my downloads folder open on another monitor, i checked each individual item, searched in my downloads folder for the file name, and copied the files i wanted to delete into a new folder (making sure to also search for and copy the meshes, since a lot of hairs especially will have different filenames for the colors vs the meshes!) once i was done, i did the same process i explained before: dragging the duplicate files back into the folder, replacing, and deleting. and then i went back and did a few more passes in case i missed anything, which ofc i did because filenames from 2008 are my enemy

i hope this makes sense LOL. also if theres anyone reading who knows of an easier way please let me know for next time 😭 i bet you can do this in like 10 minutes using smth like simpe and im just dumb

[brinxxxx]

A Bang Chan FF (content warning 18+!!) (smut)

Whipped for you:

Chapter 4: Little Sub

Y/N POV:

Jesus Christ that was a very close call. What the fuck was I thinking! The man's soon to be married and I'm letting myself slip into a delulu spell. God no. I need to stay focus. I need to plan ahead and....oh god. I need to see him again tonight! God I hope his fiancé isn't pissed.

I go back to my little desk and finish the work I was wanting to but. But every 10 minutes I kept getting message alerts from Mr Bang. Some saying " we have a meeting in 3 hours. Here is the details."

To " ;) see you 2nite :p"

I swear he's a child. I ignore them but every message was giving me flashbacks to his office. The tight bulge in his trousers, the growls and moans, call himself daddy. The whole thing was insane and enchanting. I didn't want it to end but I'm glad it did. Reality is he isn't mine to play with like that it's not fair on him or his soon to be wife. What was I thinking.

Time skiiiip to 3 hours later.

I was about to get ready to go home until I forgot Mr Bang wanted to have a meeting! Oh shit. I run down to corridor and knock lightly at his door. "Come in miss Y/N"

I opened the door thinking other staff would be there but no. Alas. It's just me and him. Again. I had sudden flash backs of our encounter today and I subconsciously squeeze my thighs together. Fuck.

He looks at me up and down "are you going to take a seat or are we standing?"

I bow and sit down. "How can I help Mr Bang?"

"Miss Y/N I've told you. Call me chan. It's just me and you. Relax. You're not in trouble. I just wanted to give you the plan for tonight's dinner. That's all."

I nod and keep quiet trying to forget the images and sounds going around in my head with my legs tightly clutched shut. Trying to suppress the sensation for now. "So I'll pick you up at 8 as agreed we will get to the restaurant with the other boss's including JYP himself is joining us. There's a karaoke bar as well we are attending to so now ducked ie spect you singing and dancing with us. Let your hair down and relax. I've given you the day off tomorrow so let loose. Got that?"

"Yes mr Bang..."

I wanted to test the waters see what he would do if I didn't call him Chan.

"Babygirl. Stop disobeying me. That's not how this works. Now go home and I'll seeyou at 8"

"Yes Mr Bang...see you later"

"You'll be punished if you keep this up miss Y/N!"

I ran out the door as quickly as possible. I got in my car drove off and before I knew it was home. Thank the lord. I run upstairs, undress and run a bath. In the meantime I allow those images flash through my mind, his moans and growling loud and clear. I decided as it's safe in my own home to release the tension that was built up all day.

I grab my vibrator and go to town with it. Get it out as much as I can before seeing him again. I need to contains my urges and fantasies. This is the best way to cope. As I was in the middle of a heated mess my phone goes. I ignore it as it was my work phone. I'm off duty if they need me badly they can call on my own phone.

They did. It was Mr Bang. I take this opportunity to listen to him as a use to get my high.

"H-Hello Mr Bang...?"

"Oh Miss Y/N. When are you eve going to Learn haha. It's Chan. I was just calling to *hears vibrating noises and a slight whimper.*

Miss Y/N am I interrupting something? Are you okay?"

"Oh y-yes. I'm okay. Just watching...TV"

*bath running water echoing in the phone*

"Continue sir"

"Oh, uh...yes erm im calling to ask why you left your belongings in the office? Didn't you need them to go home?" *vibrating noises continue along with small whinpers*

"Oh-h, Sh-shit. I didn't realise I left my bag. Just bring it to the dinner I'll g-geeeet it there. See you at 8!"

I hang up. That was a close call. I stop what I'm doing and gather my things for the bath. I couldn't concentrate to reach mt high but a bath will help with that. As I'm about to enter the bath my door goes. I run down stairs with a towel wrapped round me and open the door to see...Mr Bang.

"Oh! Miss y/n! I was interrupting something. Clearly. Look here's your bag I pass your place on my way home so it just made sense to do it now than later."

God he's so hot. I feel a little vulnerable the fact I only have a towel wrapped around me whil he looks like he could rip it off me just makes me weak ass.

I lightly bite my lip and look him up and down. Again testing the waters. Just for my own fun. Not for him. "It's okay Channie. I'm just going for a long hot bath. Just to relax before a very sociable evening. Thank you for the bag. I would

Offer you to come in but think that would be a step too far in the wrong direction"

He steps closer to me. He lifts my chin up "what's wrong with me coming...in.? May I?"

I'm so whipped for him fuck sake. I let him in and get him seated in the couch. "Let me get dressed and we can chat okay...?"

"Orrrr you can just sit in chat. I don't  miss Y/N"

"Sir. Not being funny but I'm but ass naked. That isn't very professional of me. And just call me y/n if I'm calling you chan"

He leans closer to me. His eyes full of mischief yet they are soft. "We aren't professional babygirl. Don't think I didn't hear you on the phone call or In my office today...you're not very subtle now are you?"

Shit. I look down embarrassed to even look at him now. What do I do. "I'm not sure what you're talking about..."

"I know you do, don't lie to me. I see the way you look at me. Trust me."

He tilts my head up and softly kisses me. He let out a little whimper signalling he wanted me to kiss him back. I can't do that right? He's engaged.

My impulses take over and I grab him closer kissing him back a little rougher than he intended. I lie back on the couch with him ontop of me. He breaks out kiss "god your so beautiful Y/N. You've got me trapped"

"Channie. I need to get ready"

"I can help you if you want..."

*Chan's phone rings*

"Hey babe are you still at work?"

I kept quiet. Sunshade of guilt started to form in my pit. I can't do this with him. It's selfish. He's in a relationship and I'm n the middle

Of it all. "I'll see you soon okay bye bye"

"Chan you should go. I'll see you tonight. I think it's best we don't do this. You have a fiancé. That ain't fair on her. Please leave. I'll see you at 8."

"It's okay Y/N it's not what you th..."

"Mr Bang. Please."

He got up and left. I don't know why I just started balling my eyes out. I think back and decide if I can't have him the maybe I can show him what's he'll be missing. Can still have fun and tease him whilst I can...right?