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damienns · 8 months ago

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My GIF Making process: Screen capturing using MPV player, Organizing files, 3 Sharpening settings, Basic Coloring PSD + Actions set

This is a very long post so heads up.

I’ll try to be as thorough and true as much as possible to the way I make my gifs (I already use Photoshop Actions which I’ve long since set up but now for this tutorial I’m reviewing them to show you the exact steps I’ve learned to create my gifs 😃) and present them to you in a semi-coherent way. Also, please bear with me since English is my second language.

First things first. Below are the things and tools we need to do this:

Downloaded 4K or 1080p quality videos (let’s all assume we know where to get these—especially for high definition movies and tv series—so this post doesn’t get removed, okay? 😛)

Adobe Photoshop CC or the CS versions can work as well, but full disclosure I haven’t created gifs using the CS versions since 2020. I’m currently using Adobe Photoshop 2024.

mpv player. Use mpv player to get those frames/screenshots or any other video player that has a screen grabber feature. I’ve used adapter for the longest time but I’ve switched to mpv because the press to screenshot feature while the video is playing has been a game changer not to mention ultimate time saver for me. For adapter you need to play it in another video player (like VLC player), to get the start and end timestamps of the scene you want to gif which takes me ages before I can even open Photoshop.

Anyway! Please stop reading this post for a moment and head over to this amazing tutorial by kylos. She perfectly tells you how to install and use mpv player, both for Mac and Windows users.

One thing I have to share though, I had a tough time when I updated my MacOS to Sonoma since MPV is suddenly either duplicating frames or when I delete the duplicates the player seems to be skipping frames :/ I searched and found a solution here, though it didn’t work for me lol. My workaround for this in the meantime is decreasing the speed down to 0.70 then start screenshotting—it’s not the same pre Sonoma update but it works so I’ll have to accept it rather than have jumpy looking gifs.

Now, after this part of kylos’ tutorial:

you can continue reading the following sections of my gif tutorial below.

I want to share this little tip (sorry, this will only cater to Mac users) that I hope will be helpful for organizing the screenshots that MPV saved to the folder you have selected. Because believe me you don’t want to go through 1k+ of screenshots to select just 42-50 frames for your gif.

The Control + Command + N shortcut

This shortcut allows you to create a new folder from files you have pre-selected. As you can see below I have already created a couple of folders, and inside each folder I have selected screenshots that I want to include in one single gif. It's up to you how you want to divide yours, assuming you intend to create and post a Tumblr gifset rather than just one gif.

Another tip is making use of tags. Most of, if not all the time, I make supercorp gifs so I tag blue for Kara and red (or green) for Lena—just being ridiculously on brand and all that.

Before we finally open Photoshop, there's one more thing I want to say—I know, please bear with me for the third? fourth? time 😅

It's helpful to organize everything into their respective folders so you know the total number of items/frames you have. This way, you can add or delete excess or unnecessary shots before uploading them in Photoshop.

For example below there are 80 screenshots of Kara inside this folder and for a 1:1 (540 x 540 px) Tumblr gif, Photoshop can just work around with 42-50 max number of frames with color adjustments applied before it exceeds the 10 MB file size limit of Tumblr.

Sometimes I skip this step because it can be exhausting (haha) and include everything so I can decide visually which frames to keep later on. You'll understand what I mean later on. But it's important to keep the Tumblr 10 MB file size limit in mind. Fewer frames, or just the right amount of frames, is better.

So, with the screenshot organization out of the way, let's finally head over to Photoshop.

Giffing in Photoshop, yay!

Let’s begin by navigating to File > Scripts > Load Files into Stack…

The Load Layers window will appear. Click the Browse button next.

Find your chosen screenshots folder, press Command + A to select all files from that folder then click Open. Then click OK.

After importing and stacking your files, Photoshop should display the following view:

By the way, I'll be providing the clip I've used in this tutorial so if want to use them to follow along be my guest :)

If you haven't already opened your Timeline panel, navigate to Windows > Timeline.

Now, let's focus on the Timeline panel for the next couple of steps.

Click Create Video Timeline, then you’ll have this:

Now click the menu icon on the top right corner then go to Convert Frames > Make Frames from Clips

Still working on the Timeline panel, click the bottom left icon this time—the icon with the three tiny boxes—to Convert to Frame Animation

Select Make Frames From Layers from the top right corner menu button.

So now you have this:

Go and click the top right menu icon again to Select All Frames

Then click the small dropdown icon to set another value for Frame Delay. Select Other…

The best for me and for most is 0.05 but you can always play around and see what you think works for you.

Click the top right menu icon again to Reverse Frames.

I think Photoshop has long since fixed this issue but usually the first animation frame is empty so I just delete it but now going through all these steps there seems to be none of that but anyways, the delete icon is the last one among the line of feature buttons at the bottom part of the Timeline panel.

Yay, now we can have our first proper GIF preview of a thirsty Lena 😜

Press spacebar to watch your gif play for the very first time! After an hour and half of selecting and cutting off screenshots! 😛 Play it some more. No really, I’m serious. I do this so even as early (lol) as this part in the gif making process, I can see which frames I can/should delete to be within the 10 MB file size limit. You can also do it at the end of course 🙂

Now, let’s go to the next important steps of this tutorial post which I’ve numbered below.

Crop and resize to meet Tumblr's required dimensions. The width value should be either 540px, 268px, or 177px.

Convert the gif to a Smart Object for sharpening.

Apply lighting and basic color adjustments before the heavy coloring. I will be sharing the base adjustments layers I use for my gifs 😃.

1. Crop and Resize

Click on the Crop tool (shortcut: the C key)

I like my GIFs big so I always set this to 1:1 ratio if the scene allows it. Press the Enter key after selecting the area of the frame that you want to keep.

Side note: If you find that after cropping, you want to adjust the image to the left or another direction, simply unselect the Delete Cropped Pixels option. This way, you will still have the whole frame area available to crop again as needed and as you prefer.

Now we need to resize our gif and the shortcut for that is Command + Opt + I. Type in 540 as the width measurement, then the height will automatically change to follow the ratio you’ve set while cropping.

540 x 540 px for 1:1

540 x 405 px for 4:3

540 x 304 px for 16:9

For the Resample value I prefer Bilinear—but you can always select the other options to see what you like best.

Click OK. Then Command + 0 and Command + - to properly view the those 540 pixels.

Now we get to the exciting part :) the sharpen settings!

2. Sharpen

First we need to have all these layers “compressed” intro a single smart object from which we can apply filters to.

Select this little button on the the bottom left corner of the Timeline panel.

Select > All Layers

Then go to Filter > Convert for Smart Filters

Just click OK when a pop-up shows up.

Now you should have this view on the Layers panel:

Now I have 3 sharpen settings to share but I’ll have download links to the Action packs at the end of this long ass tutorial so if you want to skip ahead, feel free to do so.

Sharpen v1

Go to Filter > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen…

Below are my settings. I don’t adjust anything under Shadows/Highlights.

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.4

Click OK then do another Smart Sharpen but this time with the below adjustments.

Amount: 12

Radius: 10.0

As you can see Lena’s beautiful eyes are “popping out” now with these filters applied. Click OK.

Now we need to Convert to Frame Animation. Follow the steps below.

Click on the menu icon at the top right corner of the Timeline panel, then click Convert Frames > Flatten Frames into Clips

Then Convert Frames > Convert to Frame Animation

One more click to Make Frames From Layers

Delete the first frame then Select All then Set Frame Delay to 0.05

and there you have it! Play your GIF and make sure it’s just around 42-50 frames. This is the time to select and delete.

To preview and save your GIF go to File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy)…

Below are my Export settings. Make sure to have the file size around 9.2 MB to 9.4 MB max and not exactly 10 MB.

This time I got away with 55 frames but this is because I haven’t applied lighting and color adjustments yet and not to mention the smart sharpen settings aren't to heavy so let’s take that into consideration.

Sharpen v1 preview:

Sharpen v2

Go back to this part of the tutorial and apply the v2 settings.

Smart Sharpen 1:

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.3

Smart Sharpen 2:

Amount: 20

Radius: 0.5

We’re adding a new type of Filter which is Reduce Noise (Filter > Noise > Reduce Noise...) with the below settings.

Then one last Smart Sharpen:

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.3

Your Layers panel should look like this:

Then do the Convert to Frames Animation section again and see below preview.

Sharpen v2 preview:

Sharpen v3:

Smart Sharpen 1:

Amount: 500

Radius: 0.4

Smart Sharpen 2:

Amount: 12

Radius: 10.0

Reduce Noise:

Strength: 5

Preserve Details: 50%

Reduce Color Noise: 0%

Sharpen Details: 50%

Sharpen v3 preview:

And here they are next to each other with coloring applied:

Congratulations, you've made it to the end of the post 😂

As promised, here is the download link to all the files I used in this tutorial which include:

supercorp 2.05 Crossfire clip

3 PSD files with sharpen settings and basic coloring PSD

Actions set

As always, if you're feeling generous here's my Ko-fi link :) Thank you guys and I hope this tutorial will help you and make you love gif making.

P.S. In the next post I'll be sharing more references I found helpful especially with coloring. I just have to search and gather them all.

-Jill

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neil-gaiman · 1 year ago

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Hello, Neil Gaiman. I am writing this letter of gratitude because I am in despair, but I am obliged to you. I am Russian, I live in a small town in the south of Russia, in the Caucasus. a month ago I turned 16, so now I am fully responsible for all my actions. I'm bisexual, which is now illegal. you understand what I mean, but I’m simply scared to write about such things. absolutely no one knows about this, and I have to hide every day. this is an unbearable burden, but I must say thank you. because your projects are what gives me life. you have no idea how much pleasure it was for me, at eight years old, to fearfully admire Mr. Bobinsky. when, at 14, I finally saved up money for the Russian edition of Good Omens, which I had to order via the Internet not directly, but through my friends, I was quietly delighted. it is worth paying tribute to: this edition is really good and very warms the soul, its design may not be filled with elegance with a golden border, but it is very homely, cozy and imbued with love for the work, this can be felt, even if the translation is not the best. and on the very first pages I felt something that I had never experienced, having problems with the nervous system and anxiety: I felt protected and happy. I felt complete. each line was a sip of life-giving water for me. let me be so bold but this book is perfect for me and it's hard to believe it wasn't written for me personally haha. like two pieces of a puzzle. I hold the book of Good Omens, and I cry almost every time because it feels good just to hold it in my hands. you shouldn’t put this next to fanaticism, it’s just personal happiness. sometimes I felt so safe with this book that I hugged it as I fell asleep. then I saved up to the translation of script book for the first season, and I must say that I am confused, because there are no deleted scenes in it with Crowley shopping or the opening of Aziraphale's bookstore and others, and this was not clear to me. and a month ago, on October 30, my cousin, who is like my own sister, gave me the original Good Omens for my birthday. can you imagine? in all of Russia she was able to find only one person who carried out such foreign orders (please forgive me, I have little understanding of this). so, in some ineffable way, a copy was delivered to me via America from Corgi Books, I think, 2014. soft cover and thin pages, of course, but I'm so happy. and I’m also grateful to myself, because I’ve been learning English since I was seven, and therefore I’m glad that I can read the original. oh, you should have seen with what rapture I waited for the release of the second season at three in the morning! and with what delight I watched it in English without subtitles, understanding what was happening. this is happiness. what I want to say is that you bring…indescribable happiness to my life. you give me strength, and I don’t give up. I cry every time I allow myself to dream that I am escaping from here. that I can meet you and say thank you in person with my stupid accent, not so much because of my native language, but because of the braces, hahaha. but I never stop dreaming about it, although even this is hard. thank you for everything. I wish only peace and love. with devotion, love and gratitude, A.

I'm sending thoughts of love and concern. Stay safe.

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needtobehisprettyboy · 3 months ago

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I hate the CaitVi Sex scene

Everytime I see someone thirsting after the scene and gushing about how it's so hot, I feel so disgusted and ticked cause of how the scene came about and where it's located.

Before we get onto my rant about the scene itself, I want to mention the CaitVi scene that happened before that.

"She saved your life!"

"If you will just calm down for on-"

If you will just calm down for once? Hypocrite. Caitlyn's allowed to be pissy, allowed to call Zaunites animals (oh, "except" Vi though) and then fight like an animal by biting Sevika—

Sidenote:

That's also another scene I don't find hot at all. Any time I see it, I can't focus on how attractive Sevika is when she's smug (even though she totes is). All I can focus on is how Caitlyn bit Sevika. I don't remember who pointed it out, if it was on Tumblr or TikTok which I have promptly deleted since the ban, but someone pointed out that Caitlyn is fighting dirty—like a Zaunite. Caitlyn was backed into a corner, so she fought like an animal.

Fuck her.

I guess now she can somewhat understand why Zaunites fight the way they do. When you're backed into a corner, feeling helpless, feeling desperate, you fight like it and she did the same exact same thing she judged them for.

Bastard.

Lol can you tell I'm feeling bitter over her character?

Back to OG rant

—biting Sevika, gas the undercity and harshly interrogate someone who was a victim of Jinx's shenanigans, hit Vi for trying to calm her down from her grief driven rage, but oh, no Vi must calm down even though she's barely angry compared to when Caitlyn's angry. Not to mention that Caitlyn throws a tantrum herself and throws the tiny figure in her hand to the ground.

"—since you don't trust her enough not to shove her in a box."

Can we please take note of the tremble in Vi's voice when she says that? 'Oh, Jinx brought back her trauma from being in Stillwater!1!2!1' First of all, shut up. Second of all, yeah. . . So did Caitlyn?? Caitlyn may not have known what to do with Jinx, but the option for her to let Jinx go to prison was there and Vi hated it.

"Cait, she's changed."

"We can't erase our mistakes. None of us."

All the while not doing any time of her own for the crimes she committed—and no, I'm not talking about her gassing the undercity. What she did as a dictator, letting Noxians take over, and hardly doing anything afterwards even though she caused so much pain and misery to both Piltovians and Zaunites goes unpunished. Her losing an eye is nothing compared to the fear many people will feel while living under a dictatorship.

Get the guillotine!!

"Who decides who gets a second chance?"

Exactly. Caitlyn did no better than Jinx. She knows it too. It tears her up inside—as it should!!! Besides, did she think Jinx wasn't going to eventually get out of Stillwater? Or was one of her options to let Jinx rot there until she died? Yeah, I'm sure your girlfriend would love that.

Now, let's get to the scene itself!

But first let me talk about what happened right before that—

Vi tries to get Jinx on her side, Jinx rejects her, and Vi watches her sister leave while being told by her that Vi "deserves to be happy" and not to "worry about her anymore".

Yikes.

People say that what happened next with Caitlyn was Vi "finally being selfish", but it just feels wrong to me. Don't get me wrong, Vi deserves to enjoy herself after everything that's been done to her; however, you aren't going to have normal, healthy, healing sex right after seeing a loved one leave you for good.

Trust me lol I've had enough grieving/traumatic experience to know that you can feel upset for hours and won't immediately be able to get into a happy mindset even if you find something to entertain yourself with. You can have people try to cheer you up and you feel a bit better, but you still feel that lingering horrible feeling inside that will eat at you for who knows how long. You could give me Steb wearing the cutest little red panties I have ever seen in my life and I'd still be sad while trying to eat him out. You need to give me that like a day or so AFTER my little breakdown cause I won't enjoy it right after crying about losing my sis.

Sidenote:

Someone please remind me to draw that.

It would take at least an hour for Vi to get back to normal with the way she was reacting. At least. Vi was in that cell for who knows how long, but she was still upset and rather vulnerable when Caitlyn found her. No doubt she needed more time to get herself together.

Okay, now, let's get to the scene itself!!!

Bro, don't fuck me while I'm crying unless I'm crying cause I'm laughing too hard or because of sexy overstimulation. Fuck me? Nah, fuck you.

"I choose wrong every time—and because of it. . . I've lost everyone."

"Did you really think I needed all the guards at the HexGates?"

SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT AWWWWWUUUPPPPPPP—anyway,

Your girl is clearly upset, grieving her lost relationship with her sister (and likely other loved ones shes lost like Vander/Warwick), feeling guilty, and clearly not in any type of good mood yet your first reaction is to smirk???? You think this is funny?? Now is not the time to tease, Ms. Dumbass.

Vi needs compassion and reassurance not. . . Whatever that was. Yes, showing that you knew all along and didn't do anything to stop her shows that you do care for her, but it also isn't what she needs. Caitlyn did not reassure her that Vi wasn't going to lose her so easily.

Mainly because if she did, that'd be a lie, but that's neither here nor there.

"Sorry to say, you've grown a bit predictable."

Girl, you are not sorry. Quit lying. I can smell the smoke coming off your pants, but I'm not getting the fire extinguisher.

Again, this isn't what Vi needs. Any therapist would be able to tell you that you should seek healthier coping mechanisms other than sex. Does cuddling not exist? Does making out and then putting a stop to it because you realize your girl is not in the right state of mind for this exist??? Seeking sex after feeling so vulnerable and horrible about yourself is in no way, shape, or form okay. Shit isn't cute.

Caitlyn, you are more of an animal than you realize.

"Listen! While you were gone, I. . . Saw someone."

All of a sudden you realize that you should stop things because you feel guilty, but that guilt isn't over letting your girl go down on you after being upset and grieving, but about. . . Having another girl while she was gone???? Girl, seriously, your priorities are wack.

She does hesitate for a moment once she sees VI's injury (I can't remember where the injury came from. I stg if it came from Caitlyn or whatever Caitlyn ordered her to do. . .) yet she continues on. There are multiple reasons why they shouldn't do it right then and there, but Caitlyn is so horny she lets Vi pleasure her.

The reasons:

1. Vi is not in the right place of mind, she just lost her sister. Please let her grieve.

2. That is a jail cell. After what happened to her, their first time should be somewhere comfortable. Vi deserves comfort. She deserves to be spoiled. You're in Piltover, Caitlyn has a mansion with a really good bed, but your first fuck is in a dirty jail cell??

3. That is a jail cell that contained her sister. Vi can't reclaim shit about having sex in a jail cell if it's a cell that contained her sister. If there was better writing, she'd feel guilty over having sex in the cell she lost her sister. Her guilt isn't going to immediately go away because of one fuck. That's not how it works. Wish it was, but it's not.

Can I also note that Vi is the one pleasuring Caitlyn and not the other way around? Maybe Vi prefers to eat out rather than be eaten, but I think it just speaks more to her always servicing others rather than servicing herself or being serviced. If the sex scene was gonna happen, at least show Vi being completely selfish and enjoying herself by showing Cait be the one to kiss her down to her coochie. Maybe she's a stone top, but she gives off switch vibes to me.

Fuck you, Cait. Always wanting things to benefit you.

(If it was me, I'd eat Vi out, but, again, that's neither here nor there. . . She's not even in my top favs. I just want the best for her cause I hate Caitlyn lol.)

"I'm feeling fantastic."

FUCK YOUUUU

Okay *drops mic* , rant over

#sesbian lex #anti caitvi #anti caitlyn kiramman #orignally didnt care for Vi much but I want better for her #sorry for the messy text but I wanted to try and not lose people's attention by making it one bit paragraph #also #fun fact about me but i prefer big text over anything else #im so blind man and my prescription is getting worse cause i have no idea how to take the eye tests #my docs were so concerned and the only reason my results changed so drastically is cause i dont know how to take eye exams #rant post #emotionally loaded language #love that #the thinker #just spitting words but you get my drift right?#lol this is a mess but idc #dedicated to all the CaitVi stuff i have to get off my tumblr dash or whatever #im a hater #arcane #arcane rant

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purple-babygirl · 6 months ago

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One With Nature

Pairing: (dom)!Fae Lord!Bucky Barnes x (sub)!f!reader Word count: 1,850 Warnings: Supernatural elements, 18+ Content: mention of kidnapping, BDSM elements, being tied up, non-con/animal-assisted scene, nipple play, use of a pet name, use of sir and master, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, cum play A/N: this is what happens when I wake up way too early on a Saturday. I'm sorry that my mind is messed up. Ily tho:"💜💜 ~

Felt horny, might delete later

But dom!fae lord!Bucky who is a crazy bastard. He’d kidnapped sweet, shy reader a while ago using a fae trap. He fucked her day and night into submission until she could barely remember anything of her previous life before him and his cock.

Soon, she has accepted that there was no way out for her. That fae lord controlled her and everything around her.

One day as he let her naked body lie on the soft grass, basking in the sunlight and the afterglow of 3 orgasms, she smiled dazedly and said “oh how nice it is to be part of nature.”

Any other fae lord would have been thrilled that she has accepted her new reality, that she was finally enjoying her place here, but not Bucky.

Oh, no, no, Bucky had much dirtier thoughts in mind, thoughts that made him harder than he’s ever been before.

Which brought her to the present.

He has her naked, her back against the largest tree in his forest as tendrils wrap tightly around her wrists and ankles, keeping her in place and stretching her wide open for him.

She looks at him with confused need in her eyes as the cool breeze hits her pussy and hardens her nipples.

If he wanted her, why didn’t he just take her privately like he usually does? Why in the middle of the forest where birds were flying around and squirrels were climbing up trees?

She knew they were just animals but she couldn’t help but feel dirty being exposed to their eyes, even if their gazes weren’t interested.

“You wanted to become part of nature, bunny.” Bucky answers her unspoken question with a smirk, “didn’t you?”

When she fails to answer, shocked and embarrassingly wet at how exposed she was, he slaps the inside of her soft thigh.

“I asked you a question, bunbun.” Bucky’s glare is hard despite the use of her petname.

“Yes, sir.” She nods, swallowing her nerves.

She never knew what to expect with this lunatic, but her body was excited regardless.

“Good, today I’m gonna teach you yet another lesson, bunny. It’s called ‘be careful what you wish for’.” His smirk widens as she swallows again.

Bucky waves his fingers in the air and three birds instantly show up in the air by his head, floating, awaiting their next orders.

Her heart sinks even though she doesn’t know what he intends to do with the birds, but she knew it was going to be something crazy, something she’s never experienced before.

Bucky walks closer, raising his hands in the air and the tendrils lift her body up higher against the tree.

She gasps, whining when her thighs are spread further apart.

Bucky’s hands cup her breasts, rubbing her nipples between his fingers.

Her eyes close as another needy gasp leaves her.

“What do you say when your master is teaching you a lesson, bunny?”

“Thank y-you.. thank you, sir.” She pants as Bucky’s hand slides to her core.

“Atta girl,” he praises, nuzzling her neck, feeling her pulse under his lips. “Already so wet for me, bunny. Is it that I have you helplessly open for me that makes your pussy drool?” he teases meanly, chuckling when she whines.

Bucky watches her face closely as he rubs her clit slowly, her mouth open as low moans escape her.

“Needy little thing, aren’t you bunny?” He slaps her pussy and she jumps up the tiniest bit, the tendrils holding her in place.

“As much as I like seeing you fall apart for me, I also enjoy watching you beg for it.” Bucky steps away from her.

“Please—”

He clicks his tongue, interrupting her begging with a smirk, “save your voice, bunny, you’re gonna need it.”

Bucky waves his hands again and the birds move towards her as if under mind control. Two birds float by her boobs and one between her legs.

Her heart races as she tries to close her legs, panicking at what Bucky could possibly have brought the birds for, “sir?”

Bucky laughs, his eyes darkening with messed up desire, “don’t worry, bunny. Nature wants to be close to you too.”

As soon as he finishes his sentence, the birds move closer to where she’s most sensitive.

She closes her eyes in anticipation and bites her lip, but then her whole body tenses up because she feels it.

3 blunt beaks are nudging her nipples and clit, repeatedly and in unison.

“Oh god!” Her surprised moan echoes through the forest, making Bucky chuckle.

She doesn’t know what to feel, her mind too clouded. She feels violated by those birds. Hell, she feels like she’s violating those birds.

She squirms but their beaks follow her sensitive nubs like a beacon. They keep pecking at her like a woodpecker would a tree, except it is just blunt beaks vibrating and nudging her most sensitive areas.

She’s trying not to enjoy it, and Bucky doesn’t like that very much.

He walks closer, his frown turning into a smirk as his hands delve between her legs. He holds her gaze as his thumb ever so gently pulls up the hood of her clit, leaving the aching button exposed to the bird’s beak.

A scream rips through her chest at the first peck, but then more nudges keep coming and she starts begging like a madwoman, her words turning into gibberish as her stomach clenches.

If someone had told her before that she would be nearing orgasm because a bird was pecking at her clit, she would have definitely called them insane, sick even.

And that’s exactly what fae!,Bucky was.

As he kept her torment going, his other hand palmed his unbelievably hard cock, pleasuring himself to her screams and pleas. Yet soon enough, his own touch wasn’t what he wanted.

Bucky lets her clit go and with a flick of his fingers, the birds retreat and fly away.

Her body sags slightly and her screams finally quiet down. She doesn’t realize she’s been crying until Bucky’s thumb touches her cheeks.

“What is it, bunbun? Couldn’t handle nature?” He teases with a smirk, his strong hands lifting her thighs to wrap around his waist.

“Please,” she whispers weakly and Bucky knows exactly what she’s begging for.

Holding his hard cock in hand, he swipes the leaking tip up and down her pussy, “cry about it all you want, bunny, but your body doesn’t lie.”

She shivers, her eyes closing as his cock teases her cunt.

“My pussy doesn’t lie,” Bucky groans as he pushes in.

She screams a moan as Bucky bottoms out in one thrust, his girth stretching her deliciously.

Bucky stays still and buries his nose in her neck. He presses the softest kisses to her skin as if he doesn’t have her impaled on his cock in the middle of the forest.

His fingers soon find her nipples and start plucking teasingly.

She throws her head back and before any of them can realize it, she’s cumming on his unmoving cock.

Bucky almost loses his balance as she quivers and clenches around him, his hand leaning on the tree behind her, “fuck, bunny.”

He groans, his blunt nails meanly keeping the torture going on her sensitive nipples until he’s milked her orgasm out of her.

She sags against him yet again, panting as tremors of pleasure ripple through her body.

Bucky holds her close, pressing his smirking lips to her shoulder.

She just had an orgasm merely from having her nipples stimulated. He has never made her do that before but it sure as hell wasn’t going to be the last time.

“Oh sweet bunny,” Bucky kisses up the side of her neck, “my sensitive, responsive, helpless bunny.”

He pulls his face away from the crook of her neck and looks at her, “open your eyes, bunbun.”

She obeys, and as soon as her glossy gaze meets his, Bucky grinds his cock inside of her.

The moan she lets out is music to his ears and the way her back arches makes him lose control.

He pulls his cock out before quickly sheathing himself whole inside of her again. He gives her his cock again and again until she’s a babbling mess once more.

Bucky likes her like this, screaming in pleasure she was made to take as he pushes her body to its limits, turning into a possessed soul on his cock.

His fingers find her puffy clit and she gasps, trying to squirm as she begged him not to.

Bucky only smirks before his fingers start thrumming her abused pearl, his cock driving deep inside of her, nudging her spongy spot repeatedly.

Her mouth opens and her eyes roll back as she gushes all over Bucky’s cock, her release dripping down onto the crunchy autumn leaves beneath their feet.

“Look at you squirting for me in the middle of the forest, bunny. Shameless.” Bucky keeps fucking her through it until her body can’t shake anymore and her forehead fall to his shoulder.

“Good bunny, so good for me,” Bucky growls in her ear as he fucks her harder, “gonna fill you up so good, you’d feel me in that sweet pussy for days.”

Her tired body is still thrumming with pleasure when she feels the first spurt of Bucky’s hot cum filling her up and she whines.

“Take it, bunbun. Take your master’s cum,” Bucky groans as he keeps filling her up.

When he finally pulls his cock out of her, he groans at the sight of her puffy, well-fucked pussy dripping of his cum.

He collects the leaking cum and pushes it back into her pussy, making her whine.

Bucky chuckles, “come on now, bunny, can’t waste a drop.”

He pushes his fingers deeper and starts fingering his cum into her, not stopping until she was screaming the last of her voice and cumming for him again.

She’s too out of it when the tendrils let her limbs go, falling into Bucky’s arms.

He carries her with a smile, kissing her temple, “you were such a good girl for me today, bunny.”

Bucky lets her close her eyes and drift off. He takes her home and cleans her up, dressing her into a soft, silky nightgown, and of course, no underwear.

When she finally opens her eyes, she’s met with his handsome smile and cannot help but give a shy one of her own.

“How are you feeling, little bunny? Are you okay?” He asks as his large hand caresses down her back as he kisses her forehead.

“Yes, sir.” Her voice is hoarse from screaming and it makes Bucky smile wider.

“You did so good for me today, bunbun. I’m proud of you.” Bucky kisses her lips softly.

She’s too lost in the kiss to notice his hand sneaking under her nightgown to her bare butt.

She gasps against his lips when his index massages up and down her tightest hole.

“But you better have learned to be careful what you wish for or I’ll have my squirrels plugging this ass with acorns next.”

I'm sorry I-

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padmeanddorme · 6 months ago

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DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED???!!????!!!?

A series (or even a book) that follows Padmé from when she learns she’s pregnant to like idk when she finds out Anakin’s back on Coruscant. Like I’m pretty sure Natalie Portman said in a relatively recent interview she’d be happy to return to Star Wars if they asked her to!

Make this series show more of her work in the Senate. Show her planting seeds of the rebellion (we were robbed when Lucas deleted those scenes from ROTS). Show her thinking of baby names and getting excited about being a mother. Show her fretting over Anakin’s safety. Of course include Anidala crumbs- them on holocalls, talking about anything and everything (and Anakin mentioning how Rex is helping him secure these calls with her 🥰🥰🥰). Show Padmé debating over telling Anakin she’s pregnant, and ultimately deciding not to- knowing it would distract him during battles and thus endanger him. Have her come this close 👌to telling him when he mentions something about wanting to start a family with her. Show Padmé interacting with her handmaidens more. Give Padmé a mission and show that even while pregnant she’s still a badass. Let her visit Naboo, and her family. OMG- show Palpatine noticing/sensing something is off with Padmé, eventually realising she is pregnant, then devising his plan to use this information to turn Anakin to the dark side.

I would DIE if we got this series. I miss live-action Padmé sm. Please, please, PLEASE Lucasfilm log onto Tumblr, find this post or other ones like it and decide to use our ideas. I’m begging 😭😭😭

(And in an end-credits scene show a newly suited Anakin visiting Padmé’s mausoleum, pouring his heart out to her and their ‘baby’, leaving flowers on her sarcophagus, literally being the biggest emotional mess in the galaxy. Then, after he slowly says something so heart wrenching- i.e. your love could’ve saved me…but I didn’t listen, I would take your place even if it meant losing you, I thought I became strong enough to save you, but maybe love is what would’ve saved you, idk still working on this bit- and after he walks away, the camera zooms out and shows a flower falling off the sarcophagus, or something like that 👀)

Sigh.

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justwinginglife · 8 months ago

Note

Hello!! Hope you are doing well and are having a good day ❤️ Can you maybe do a fic with Narumi (Preferably if you do write for him) or Hoshina where he is together with a reader who faints quite a lot of times and still neglects her health. Hoshina or Narumi is like very very overprotective not yandere type but too sweet boyfriend type. Really want to read a long fic with oh so sweet kaiju no 8 boyfriend . Please do delete this if you don't like it..

Also thanks so much for being so kind and sweet. I love your fics so muchh. The way you write is so wonderful and super enjoyable to read. Do make sure to take care of yourself and not overwork:D

Hello again! @totallybakedcake I hope all your school things turned out well! If not, it'll get better <3 Also thanks so much for the compliments omg! I'm a happy woman :) Hope you have the BEST of days, I will 100% write this for you, Narumi and all. I hope this was a long enough fic, it felt very long writing it lol. There is also mentions of a mature scene but no explicit detail.

Falling For You

The day you met Gen Narumi, you quite literally fell for him.

The familiar, dizzying pull of gravity had suddenly taken hold of you, and -accepting your fate, as you had all the times before- you aimed your fall towards a nearby bench. When you pleasantly landed in his arms instead, your senses snapped to attention. You were suddenly very aware of his warmth, of his scent, of your lack of breath in the face of his allure.

When he finally spoke, you thought you might bottle up the sound of his voice and save it for a rainy day. “Woah there. Maybe let’s not take a spill in the middle of the sidewalk, yeah?”

You simply nodded. You hadn’t yet figured out how to conjure up your thanks, your words seemingly frozen in your throat.

He searched your face for a moment, his gorgeous eyes unraveling you with every second that passed. “Are you feeling sick or something? Need anything?”

You shook your head.

“Okay… well, I need to get to work. Can I trust you to not bash your head open on the concrete if I leave?”

You nodded again. Apparently head movements were all you were capable of at the moment.

He looked you over once more and then sighed before reluctantly walking away. Your heart pounded in your chest when he looked back at you, not once but twice, before disappearing into the distance.

Then your phone beeped and you realized you had to get to work too. It was your first day and you couldn’t be late. You took off in the direction he went in and you wondered if maybe you’d see him on the way. You wondered if maybe you’d have the strength to actually thank him if you saw him again. You wondered if you’d ever see him again, or if that one moment was all you had to cling to.

You may have underestimated fate because the moment you reported to your superior for your first day of work, you realized it was him and you nearly swallowed your own tongue.

He looked up from his computer and his eyes almost bulged out of his head when he realized who you were. He looked from the report on his desk to you, then back to the report. “This is you? You’re my new officer??”

You nodded meekly. “Yes, sir. I am.”

He sighed heavily, rubbing his temples like you were giving him a headache. “This fainting spell of yours. One time thing?”

You swallowed. It was more than enough of an answer for him.

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Great. So I’ve got a walking catastrophe at my door.”

You winced. His demeanor was completely different than it had been mere moments ago. You wondered if he had an evil twin or something. “I-I promise, I’ll be useful.”

His eyes narrowed. “You’ll be useful? Do you mean useful in getting my squadron killed trying to look after you? I don’t have the time or the patience for weaklings and I certainly don’t want them in my division.”

Suddenly your earlier timidity dissipated, now replaced with a raging fire. “With all due respect, Captain, I’m not a weakling in the slightest. And I’ve never had trouble with fainting on the battlefield before. I’ve never had trouble with anything on the battlefield before. You can look at my report again, as many times as you want, you can ask any division I’ve worked with, watch drone coverage of any battle I’ve won, as many times as it takes to convince you, but at the end of the day, I’m a valuable asset and you need me.” You met his gaze with steel of your own, daring his eyes to look away from you, daring him to underestimate your skill again.

He stared at you for a moment. His fingers drummed over the report on his desk, the report that he’d already gone over extensively, the report that confirmed every one of your bold statements. Gen Narumi was infamous for slacking off, for running away from meetings, for dodging his mound of paperwork, but he would never let anyone onto his team without doing his research. There was too much to lose if he let an amateur run wild on his turf. Everyone in the Defense Force knew that if you wanted into the First Division, you went through Narumi. There was no chance in hell you’d be allowed in if he didn’t think you belonged there. After examining the resolve on your face, he spoke, “We’ll see about that. I’m putting you at the back for now, and if I think for even a second that you’re not cut out for this, that you’re wasting my time, I will bench you. I’ll more than bench you- I’ll end your career so fast, you won’t have time to blink let alone beg.”

You stood up straighter, saluting him. “Yes, sir. I won’t let you down, I swear. You’ll be nothing short of impressed.”

He nodded. “Good. I’m expecting nothing but the best from you after all that big talk of yours.” Then he cleared his throat. “And maybe let’s keep this fainting thing between the two of us, yeah? I don’t want anyone to know I let someone so feeble into my division.”

You bit your lip to keep from sassing your superior again. “Yes, sir.”

And with that, your second meeting with Gen Narumi came to its conclusion.

It only took a couple weeks for the Captain to finally acknowledge you, having kept your promise to be of tremendous use to him. When you first followed the First Division into battle, even knowing your track record, he’d thought your skills a fluke. But over the next several weeks, you’d shown time and time again that your power was a result of vigorous training and combat experience, and he couldn’t ignore what an asset you were any longer.

He called you to his side on your next mission. You somehow had the nerve to tease him about giving you a promotion, but he’d snorted and said you were lucky to be on the front lines at all. When you completely obliterated the Honju before he could even pull out his bayonet, he almost considered making you Platoon Leader right then and there. But he was concerned about your… issue.

The next day, you’d woken up earlier than usual to enjoy some peace and quiet and Narumi hounded you while you were pouring yourself a cup of coffee. “So is it like a carsickness kinda thing? Only not in a car?”

You didn’t even turn to look at him. “Wow, not even a ‘good morning’ from you, Captain?”

He shrugged and snagged the pitcher from your hands, pouring himself a cup as well. “Just tryna narrow down the cause of your spells, that’s all. Can’t help being curious.”

You sighed as you stirred your cream into your coffee. “It’s not an issue, Captain. You should know by now it’s not an issue.”

He examined you as he took a sip of his drink. “Not out there, no. But in here? In here, I have to be careful you don’t drown yourself in the bath cuz you passed out, or conk out on the counter cuz you felt ill,” He moved to place a hand over the pointed edge, half teasing and half serious.

You bit your lip to keep from smiling as you took a seat at a nearby table. “So what I’m hearing is, you think about me in the bath?”

He snorted. “Hardly. I’d just hate to have my favorite errand girl six feet under.” He slid into the chair next to you, slurping his coffee loudly.

“Ahh, so you admit I’m your favorite.” You teased, nudging him with your arm.

He scoffed. “But you’re not my favorite. You’re just… I don’t know what you are. You’re something. Real pain in my ass.”

“Yeah, well, it’d help if you stopped worrying about me so much.��

He crossed his arms and huffed. “I’m not worried, I just don’t want this to reflect badly on me, that’s all.”

You peered at him thoughtfully, trying to read his expression. “Okay. So let’s make a deal then. I’ll let you know anytime I feel poorly, and you stop harassing me about it. We’ll just let what happens happen.”

His eyes searched yours, trying to find some semblance of insincerity. Then, deciding he was satisfied with this arrangement, he stuck his hand out for you to shake. “Fine. Deal.”

You shook it and went back to enjoying your coffee beside him in silence.

Both of you made the decision to form this pact together, but you weren’t sure Narumi fully understood just how frequently you’d be calling on him after this.

Your next episode was the very same day you’d made the deal. Just a couple hours after you’d finished having your coffee together, you were out running laps when you started to feel lightheaded. You called him and by the time he made it out to you, you had collapsed on the track. Luckily, everyone was still inside eating breakfast, and no one had seen your fall.

You woke up to him hovering over you, hand on your forehead, as he repeatedly called your name.

When he saw you blink awake, he sighed with relief. “Fucking hell, you’re a mess, you know that?” He gave you shit but you could tell by the way beads of sweat had collected down his face and neck, by the way his breaths heaved heavily in his chest, that he was worried about you.

You had to laugh at that. Captain of Japan’s strongest division, and he was more worried than you were.

He glared at you. “Why are you laughing, what’s so funny about this?”

You shrugged. “Happens all the time. It’s no big deal.”

He groaned and collapsed on the ground beside you. “You’re telling me, I’m gonna be running myself ragged looking after you? What am I, your babysitter?”

You poked him in the arm, smirking. “Hey, you signed up for this.”

He sighed. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right, you don’t have to look so fucking smug about it.” Then he was quiet for a moment. “Hey… I think maybe I should… be around you more. So I’m not too far away if something happens.” He swallowed as though the sudden intimacy of his request was too shameful to bear speaking aloud. But he knew he had to. He couldn’t keep running all over base to find you, what if you didn’t call him in time and collapsed in front of a moving truck?

You thought about it for a moment. You’d never had someone actively caring for you like this before. It was a nice change of pace. Even if that someone was your annoying Captain. And even then, he wasn’t all bad. He seemed to you like he was only rough on the outside, but you felt you were one step away from breaking down those walls of his. You wondered what the view on the other side of those walls would look like. So you agreed.

Soon, you were doing everything together. You were taking walks together, training together, going to movies together, having meals together. It was hard for people not to think you were dating. Though, Narumi was frequently putting down any rumors of the sort, saying he was just trying to make sure his investment in you wasn’t a waste. He did end up promoting you to Platoon Leader. He had no qualms about it considering you had more than proven yourself capable and worthy of the position, and now he could keep a closer watch over you.

He was more attentive than you thought he’d be. He’d noticed you never drank water enough and when he’d encouraged -practically forced- you to start drinking more, you fainted slightly less. He’d started cooking you home cooked meals in case your diet of junk food and frozen meals were the culprit for your spells. He’d even started sending you to bed early so he could be sure you were well rested. Of course, he never took credit for being so kind. He’d simply say he couldn’t stand to see you looking so shriveled up so you had to take a sip of his water. Or he’d say the junk food was making you sloppy, so you had to try his food instead. Or he’d say the bags under your eyes were too pitiful a sight to see, so you just had to retire for the night. And when you’d say to him every time, “It’s okay Narumi, I know you secretly care. Thanks, Narumi,” with the sweetest smile he’d ever seen, he thought he felt his heart soften a little more each time.

Eventually, things changed between the two of you, when you did, in fact, almost drown in the bath.

“Didn’t I fucking call it? Didn’t I say you might do this one day? You need to be more careful, damnit.” Narumi muttered, sitting on the bathroom floor and averting his eyes while he held out a towel for you.

“Gen…” You cooed.

He blushed when you called him by his first name for the first time. “Yeah, what is it?” He grumbled.

“You can look, you know. It’s just me.”

The shade of red dug even deeper into his cheeks. “I’m not… I’m not gonna look. Just hurry up and get dressed.”

“And what if I wanted you to look?” You pulled yourself up from the water and kneeled in front of him.

He met your gaze for the first time all night. “And why… why would you want that?”

“Because I like you, Gen.”

He couldn’t stand the way you purred his name like it was meant to sit pretty on your lips. He couldn’t stand the sight of you naked, dripping wet, waiting for his response, waiting for him to like you back. He couldn’t stand the way he felt every time he was around you, the way his heart felt like it might burst, the way he worried when you had another spell, the way he relaxed when you were okay, when you were beside him, when you were nobody’s but his. And he couldn’t stand that he hadn’t kissed you yet.

So he took you on the bathroom floor and you discovered there were other reasons to be breathless, other reasons to be dizzy, other reasons to be lightheaded, that were significantly more pleasurable. And you decided that you’d sacrifice your breath to him every time, with no hesitation, just to get a taste of his lips again and again.

When you finally started dating, it was to no one’s surprise. The entire First Division had already thought you were dating; they were more shocked that you were only now making it official.

When you finally started dating, everything and nothing changed all at once. You still talked with him, still walked with him, but now you talked late into the night, huddled under the sheets with him naked, now you walked with his arm around your waist, pulling you closer whenever you’d stray too far for his comfort. You still ate with him, still drank with him, but now you were sharing meals, sharing drinks. You did everything together that you’d always done, but now his love made itself known to you in every second of every day, in every breath he inhaled, in every breath he exhaled, in every word he uttered, in every touch he savored, in every moment in your presence.

He loved you so immensely, so emphatically, so infinitely, that you thought the only way one could ever be truly loved was to be loved by Gen Narumi.

When you’d stay late and overwork yourself again -completely by accident, you knew he’d scold you otherwise- he’d throw you over his shoulder and carry you to bed. When you’d forget to eat, he’d force feed you food until he was satisfied. He’d care for you even when you forgot to care for yourself. Especially when you forgot to take care of yourself.

And when he’d examine you thoroughly after battles to make sure you weren’t hiding any injuries from him, when he’d admonish you for being reckless even though he himself was reckless, when he’d check your pulse, check your temperature, check your oxygen levels, when he thought you might be even the least bit under the weather, you knew his overbearance was nothing more than love at its purest.

Eventually, you had less and less fainting spells with each and every day that passed, after being so thoroughly and wonderfully cared for by him, and when you did feel the occasional dizziness consume you again, he was always right there beside you, waiting for you to come back to him.

You’d always wondered what the view would be like once his walls came crumbling down, and the sight of his heart laid bare for you made the wait worth it. And it was all yours, he never let you forget that.

And when he finally proposed to you, murmuring, “So I can care for you always,” you simply smiled at him, accepted the ring, and said “You already do, baby, you already do.”

#kaiju no. 8 #anime #oneshot #anime fanfic #fluff #gen narumi x reader #gen narumi #narumi x reader #narumi gen #han's library

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dirtylittlefairytales · 8 months ago

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Don't play with fire | - Part 2 - |

Autors Note: I recommend to read Part 1 first. This is going to be a rollercoaster, but I hope you like it. I liked writing it and I'm really happy I started writing again. Now I try writing smut too. If you like the song 'Unholy from Sam Smith' listening to it later on, made the scene better. At least I listened to it while I wrote the scene.

Also as before, english is not my first language, I hope I corrected most mistakes.

Summary: After having a panic attack and realizing that Cooper could be the Butcher., you tried living your life normally again, until you got a text from an unknown number. Should you go to the police? Half a year later everything is normal again, at least you think it is.

-> Writing in 'italic' is supposed to be the your thoughts

Warnings: Dark!Fic, Describing of a Panic attack, Age Gap! (Legal), Swearing! Praise! Alcohol consumption!, drugs!, bit of Smut, Angst!, Arguing

Rating: R

Word count: 7,4k

Tagging: @a-movie-that-youve-never-seen, @amethystblackkchaos, @hereforthehitsbaby, @waywardtigersandwich

That was your first panic attack you had in your life. You spend that day at the hospital, your mom picking you up in the evening. She didn’t pry for information, although she was very worried. When you got back to her house and sat in the living room over a hot tea, you told her everything– Though more like everything she could know.

You told her about the concert, how you weren’t feeling well because of the crowd of people. So you went home early, then your bike got stolen and your boss fired you after some nasty words. You said you didn’t know how you ended up at the hospital, you were just aimlessly walking and then woke up in the hospital. Remembering a lot of concerned voices around you but nothing more.

Seeing that you were near tears again your mom started to hug you for several minutes. You let it all out. All those bottle up emotions of the day. You just didn’t know what to do with all these emotions. It was too much, like you weren’t in control anymore.

“You know sweety, you should move closer again. Ah no disagreeing! Think about it. You know my grandparents also had their apartment. Please consider it, I worry about you.” she said, squeezing your shoulders. “You could save so much money!”

“Okay mom. I promise I’ll think about it, but not today. Let me find a new job first.” you tried avoiding the situation. She nodded

“Well, come one you can sleep in your old room today. Tomorrow I'll drive you to the mechanic so you can get your car back.”

“Thanks mom.”, she kissed the top of your head and pushed you towards the stairs. Shaking your head, you went up towards your old room. You could barely say no to anything, when it came to your mom. However, moving back was the one thing you didn’t want. It was stupid. You wanted to live independent and not in your moms apartment, where she probably wouldn’t even allow you to pay rent.

Stepping inside your room, everything looked as you last remembered it. Your mom tried to make it look like your old room. The big double bed near the window, with the one teddy bear on it. A small wooden closet near the wall. You closed the curtains on the window and went to bed.

On the bathroom mirror you could see a bruise starting to form on your shoulder, where Cooper had gripped it. Clearly you couldn’t wear something without sleeves the next few weeks.

Before going to sleep you checked your phone. You nearly forgot about it. There was nothing. No new contact, no number saved anywhere, everything was the same. You remember it clearly, he told you he had saved his number, but nothing. You checked your phone completely. Looked through everything, photos, deleted messages, deleted contacts. Still nothing.

‘Had he just been toying with you? Playing into your anxiety?’ After checking your phone for a second time you gave up. Maybe you imagined it, maybe you should just call it a day. As soon as you put your phone down and your head hit your pillow you were out. The events of that day were finally catching up with you.

Waking up the next day, you still felt exhausted but overall better. True to her word, your mom drove you to the mechanic, and reminded you to visit her once a week like you promised her on her last birthday. No more work excuses.

You promised, she was getting older and you did want to spend more time with her. She turned 59 this year. You loved her, she always did her best. Recently your grandfather passed away, leaving everything to your mom. Your grandparents had an estranged relationship with your mom, but seeing as she was their only child… she inherited it all. Now your mom could live without worries. She had a house and had a spare apartment. Seeing as they did have a bit of money.

Over the next week you wrote more job applications and went to a couple of interviews. Until you finally found yourself a new job. The company and boss seemed nice and you even got to work from home 10 days a month. Big plus and the pay was decent. You stayed in your apartment most of the time after the concert, fearing you might run into Cooper somewhere. You were quite paranoid. Fearing what he would do to you. Were you going to be next, if he was the Butcher?

With the new job, came new energy and you started to live again. Step by step you were going outside, to the office, meeting your friends or going out for drinks. Still sometimes, you looked around you. Feeling like someone was staring holes in your back.

The second panic attack came when on a day you were working from home. A few weeks had passed and overall it started like a totally normal day, just a few calls. Not much work to do that day and around lunch time you still wore your pajamas. When you went into the kitchen to cook, you suddenly got a text message from an unknown number. First you thought it was someone from work. Though, the number didn’t seem familiar, so maybe it was a customer? However, none had your private number. You opened the message and instantly knew who sent that text.

–You should watch the news. Unfortunately I must tell you that Spencer didn't seem to be very grateful. Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart. –

You dropped your phone, heart pounding in your chest. ‘Sweetheart– Was that Cooper? So he did have your number… Why should you watch the news?’ Slowly you crept down, picking up your phone from the floor and almost dropping it again. Your hands trembled so much.

After releasing a shuddering breath, you put your phone in your pocket and stepped towards your living room. One step at time, fearing you might fall if you walked too fast. Holding on to your sofa for dear life, you reached for the remote.

Turning on the TV, unsure of what you would find, you switched programs until you found the news channel. Your hands still trembling, you took deep breaths trying to calm yourself.

‘Maybe you should sit down?’ – Letting yourself fall onto the sofa you turned up the volume. You saw a lot of police in the background then view switched to the reporter, who started speaking

“Yesterday in the early hours, two hikers found something horrible on their daily hiking trail. We waited for further information from the police and we can now announce that the Butcher has found yet another victim. This marks the 13th victim of the Butcher.”

Your knuckles around the remote turned white from anticipation, your fingernails digging in your own palm. ‘Maybe you should stop with the acrylic nails’ You held your breath. They showed a photo of a young man on the screen. It wasn’t someone you knew.

“The victim seems to be a young man named Spencer–” Spencer.. That was the name he told you that day. You didn’t even listen to the rest of the news. Completely blending everything out, thoughts racing in your head. A sob escaped you, your whole body shook uncontrollably. Gasping for air, crying, you had your second panic attack. It felt even stronger then the first one, but maybe it was only because you were more aware now.

A part of you felt like you killed Spencer. You had thought he was just playing with your fear. It was your fault. ‘What have you done… you were right all along. Your sixth sense didn’t leave you. Why haven't you gone to the police? Were you an accomplice now? Why haven’t you told somebody? You could have saved him…’ The answer was simple. You hadn’t been 100% sure. Hell until now you thought you imagined most of his weird behavior, were overthinking it, writing it off as anxiety.

Helplessly you wandered around towards your kitchen in the search for a bag. When you finally found one, you sank down against your cupboard. Taking deep breaths with the plastic bag to calm your breathing. After calming down and just sitting silently in your kitchen for 20 minutes, you got up and shut down the TV.

‘You couldn’t go to the police, could you? What if they held you responsible for it because you didn’t say anything until now. You didn’t even know his last name or where he lived.’

A dry and humorless laugh escaped you. Putting your face in your hand, trying to come to terms with reality. Finally you pushed your hair back and grabbed your phone.

Pondering if you should write back? Try to get information from him and go to the police? Could you get burned even more? Thinking for another minute you decided against it. Panic and anxiety controlled your actions. Your course of action was going in the complete opposite direction. Simply deleting the message. Deleting the evidence, deleting a small part of your guilt– ‘out of sight out of mind’

You didn’t continue work that day, called in sick, went to bed and just stared aimlessly at the ceiling. Thinking about everything. About the concert, about every small detail you remembered. All the strange things you thought he did, but in the end you thought it was just your imagination.

This was so fucked up, why were you still alive and not locked up in some basement? Why were you still alive? He knew that you knew. By sending you that text, it almost seemed like he wanted you to know. It hardly made any sense to you. After hours and hours of thinking and getting a headache from it, you fell asleep rather exhausted.

Not even a day after you even changed your number, telling your friends and mom another lie. The excuse, you got too many spam calls on it, seemed to be good enough. You were that anxious that you were one step away from moving back into your mom's house. However you didn't want to exaggerate.

Everything you did, to feel secure didn’t help. The anxiety remained. Whenever you went outside you felt like a scared mouse, always looking around, getting in your car and inside the office building as quickly as possible. At first you looked for a black van, then you remembered that stupid little you had the great idea to reveal to him what the profiler said. Of course he was not driving that van anymore. Perhaps now he drove around in a girly pink car.

‘How could you have been so stupid?’, you wanted to bang your head against the table. You even judged Lady Raven for her naivety and here you were telling the Butcher what car to not drive. What to look out for. You helped him even further, by not going to the police. He must have been laughing at you in his head. What a fucking joke. He also must have realized what effect he had on you, using that for his advantage. That for one you found him attractive, on the other hand you were intimidated by him. You were glad you were still alive, but it also made you nervous.

A month later and nothing new from the Butcher and no strange occurrences you finally started to relax again. Cooper and all that happened was slowly being pushed to the back of your head.

Furthermore, you moved out of your apartment. You felt spooked and unsafe in it. Living near your mom again gave you a small aspect of security back. Fortunately your workplace had a second office 20 min from your mom's apartment. You rented some transporter and with the help of your friends you moved your stuff into your new apartment within a day. Moving out helped your anxiety a lot.

Another month later, you started to go out with your friends again, didn’t look around every time you left your apartment and became more yourself. Feeling confident. You were slowly going after your hobbies again. Running outside, Swimming, visiting your favorite coffee shop or reading in the park on a good day. All without turning around every few seconds.

Before you knew it about half a year had passed and it all was a mere memory. You hadn’t had another panic attack in months. Your job was great, you met your friends a lot, also visited your mom every week and you could even listen to music with noise canceling headphones again. It felt normal. Back to how it was before. There was no news from the Butcher. No new Butcher victims, just some mom in a horrible car crash, but aside from that there was just the usual news.

It was around January, a Saturday, your birthday to be exact, where it began to get strange again. Even though it started out as every other birthday since you were 21. First brunch with your mum, having some good quality time in your favorite restaurant. After that, you went home again and around the evening your friends should arrive to go out. You should be around 10 people later. Normally you would just celebrate at home, but your best friend Simon wanted to party. Who were you to deny his wishes?

You had been Besties for ages, growing up with the same situation of a cheating parent, pushed you even closer together. It was only after high school where you went in different directions. Simon wanted to study, whereas you started working. There he met his better half Sebastian, they’ve been together ever since and when the three of you did something together they treated you like their child. Which you found hilarious. You loved them.

So a couple of friends were coming over and around midnight you would go dancing. When you arrived back at your apartment you noticed something strange. There was a small gift in front of your door. You looked around if you saw any of your neighbors before picking it up and unlocking your door.

It didn’t seem to have a name anywhere. ’Strange. Maybe it was from that elderly woman on the first floor?’, you wondered. You put it on your kitchen counter, saving it for later. Seeing as you had only a couple of hours left to clean and dress up. Also you needed your makeup done before simon came, or he would go way overboard with his ideas. You already agreed to let him do your hair and change your outfit, if it was “too boring”.

That was another reason he wanted you to go out. Maybe you would finally find prince charming and you could go on cute double dates. In his opinion, your ‘no dating’ phase had been going on too long. Looking at yourself in the mirror you felt good. You decided to go with some short black pants, and a glittery black top with an open back.

By the time the others arrived you totally forgot about the present still laying wrapped on the kitchen counter. Friend after friend arrived, all of them overly punctual. Except for two individuals, as always. You didn’t mind, it was only Lucas, a friend of Sebastian, with his girlfriend Mary. You didn’t particularly like her, Mary needed to be in the spotlight, sometimes you felt like she tried to replace you in your friend group. None of the others saw this most of the time though. She was ‘little miss perfect’. Well, except for Simon and Lizzy, they did see her other side sometimes.

Putting on some music after everybody sat down in the living room, you went back to the kitchen to help Simon with the last drinks. As Simon was putting away the cake he brought on the kitchen counter he saw the small present laying around. “Who is this from?”

You walked towards him to see what he ment. “Oh, I actually don’t know. I think one of my neighbors left it for me.” shrugging you picked it up.

“Do you know what's inside?”, You shook your head, now you’ve done it. Simon loved a good mystery, something to solve, something thrilling.

“Well then, open it! I’ll get the rest of the drinks.”, he ushered you towards the living room where the others sat around your coffee table. Climbing over the back rest of your couch, you made yourself comfortable in the corner. Simon brought your drinks while you started to open the present. “What is it?”

“It’s…” you frowned. Pulling out a simple small teddy bear, with something silver on top. It was made out of plastic, nothing overly special. It was a Keychain.

“I think that’s something I could put on my keychain? Wait there's more…” There was something shiny at the bottom of the present.

“A bracelet– Oh, it’s really pretty.” You held it towards the light, it sparkled brightly. It was a simple silver bracelet, with a little charm in the center. A cute colorful flower.

“Aww how cute. But it seems like it was more for a child? Are you sure your neighbors know your age?” Lizzy laughed and poked you. She was what you would consider your girl bestfriend.

“Or maybe they know that you still have stuffed animals in your bed”,joked Simon and threw a pillow at him. “Hey, be careful, my drink!”, he exclaimed with a feigned outrage. You flipped him off. It wasn’t your fault that you could only go to sleep, while holding something in your arm.

“Don’t pout, come I’ll put the bracelet on. Then we get you a tiara and you’ll be a Disney princess.”Lizzy grabbed the bracelet of your hand and put it on you.

“And put the keychain thing to your keychain–”, Marcus said as they all laughed at your embarrassment. You gave them a look.

“Really guys, do I have to?”, you whined.

“Yes, give it to me, I’ll do it. You open the rest of our presents. I promise you’ll like them”, winked Simon and held out his hand. Reluctantly you gave him the key chain and started to open the other presents.

The other presents were way better. You got some games, wine and everybody plus your mom pitched in to buy you a new bike. They hid it in front of your door before. You had tears in your eyes as you thanked each of them. ‘You had the best friends’

After eating the cake there was nothing to stop you guys from going all out. Drinking games, Beer pong, dancing or just talking. Later on, Lucas and his girlfriend arrived around 10. At this point everybody was in a good mood and slightly drunk. On seeing the bike, Mary was offended that they hadn’t waited for them to give me my present.

You were about to tell her that it was your birthday, when some of the others already apologized to her. Telling her they didn’t know when they would show up.Annoyed, you refilled your drink, and went back to the friends playing beer pong. You needed to get drunk more to be nice to her. She wasn’t even here for 5 minutes and everything had to resolve around her.

The party got louder and better, all having a good time. Half an hour before you wanted to leave Mary came to you while dancing, grabbing your arm. “Is that the bracelet you got from your neighbor? The others told me about it. It's so cute. Can I try it on? I always wanted something like this…”, Mary asked you with her stupid baby voice. She immediately tried grabbing it off your arm.

“Ehm, hey wait a second. Here, but I want back before we go.”, You didn’t want any drama today. She nodded her head, waved you off and reassured you that you would get it back in a second.

You did, in fact, not get it back within a second and when you were standing in the queue to the club, you realized that she still had it on. Now it was too late.

Inside the club your friends surprised you, they booked a small area to sit with a table in the middle. Some drinks and bottles, waiting for you in the middle.

“Guys! You shouldn’t have!”, you exclaimed happily.

“Only the best for you Birthday girl!” Simon cheered! Hugging you tightly. Celebrating your birthday never felt better. You did a few shots and then most of you went off dancing to the dancefloor for the next hour.

Coming back from the dance floor you sat back down exhausted. Every time you went out you asked yourself the same question. ‘Why did you even decide to wear heels today?’ All of you started to get new drinks and someone suggested to spice things up and play an old fashioned “Truth or Dare”. Without truth of course, because it was way too loud.

You loved these games, it was always fun to watch. Though you didn’t like doing dares yourself, always feeling a bit shy and easily embarrassed. Now with the alcohol you did feel more comfortable. Maybe you would be up to do a dare. As if reading your thoughts Simon yelled at you over the table “Y/N”.

You looked at him with pleading eyes, your confidence dwindling. “Noo.. Please…”

“No! I’ve waited enough. I dare you to go out there and make out with a stranger!” he exclaimed, pointing to the dance floor. Some of your friends whistled at that.

Not waiting for you to think about it Simon stood up. “Do you trust me? We go dancing and I promise I won’t let some creep near you. Only handsome guys?” He held out his hand. You thought about it. If not now, when would you ever do it? You needed to get over your own shadow. Quickly you emptied your glass. For the extra bit of confidence.

“Pinky promise?” you asked, feeling bold suddenly and holding out your pinky. He looked surprised and instantly linked your pinky with his. “Promisee.” happily he dragged you to the dance floor.

“What's your age range? Still someone around your age?” Simon asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes at his behavior. “I don’t know. He can be older… but not above 50!!” Simon pretended to be shocked at your revelation, holding his hand above his heart.

“Older men! How scandalous!”, you jabbed his side.

“Let's go before I change my mind.”, you threatened. As you made your way on the dance floor they started to play one of your favorite songs ‘Unholy’.

“As information, I’m going back as soon as I see you enjoy yourself. I’m not watching a full make out session from you.”, he shouted in your ear. Laughing, you nodded. Fair enough, you wouldn’t want to watch him make out with Sebastian either. Both of you started dancing to the music, stealing glances at the people around you.

More like Simon was looking around, whereas you tried not to think about the dare too much.

You felt the people dancing all around you. Swinging your hips and moving your arms around your body, you felt yourself getting lost in the music.

Simon and you danced yourself further into the crowd. Someone bumped against your ass, touching it. Before you could even react somebody else pushed that person away. It was not Simon, seeing as he was still dancing right before you. He raised a brow gesturing behind you. Mouthing the simple word ‘Hot’.

While dancing you turned your head slightly to look behind. You couldn’t see much, all the flickering colorful lights made it hard to recognize anything. He was tall, broad shoulders and his hair seemed to be a bit longer. You continued dancing, Simon nodding at you. ‘Fuck it. Simon better not be wrong’ You trusted his judgment. In the rhythm of the music, you danced backwards until you found yourself practically grinding your ass on him. He didn't move away, dancing in sync with you.

One of his hands placed itself on your hip, pulling you even more against him. You felt a sudden rush of confidence, as you continued swaying your ass against him and felt something hardened in his pants. It felt huge.

Using this confidence boost and as a confirmation you spun around, still dancing. ‘Could you do it?’ Looking up at his face, sadly, the flashing lights still barely illuminated his face. Looking closer you could make out a few facial features. He also had a slight beard. Even without knowing his exact looks, you felt a certain pull towards him. ‘I bet he is handsome’ You were not one to make the first move, but you were going to fulfill your dare.

‘You could do it. You looked fucking hot and you wouldn't see him ever again.’ Dancing against him, his slight erection pressing against you, you took the initiative, steadying yourself with one hand at his shirt. 'Why wouldn’t he take the first step? Why did the women need to take control in this situation?' Until now you were always the more experienced partner, so it was nothing new for you. Even though you would like some change. Him taking control, getting rough or just doing what he wants… Maybe you read too many dark romance books.

Slowly wandering with the other hand up his chest, resting it at his neck. Slightly you pulled his head towards you to push your lips onto him. His lips were rough. At first it was just you moving your mouth against his. You felt him putting away his drink on the high table next to you.

As he still did not reciprocate the kiss and for a second you thought that you read the signs wrong. At least you fulfilled your dare. However as soon as you broke the kiss and stepped back, he roughly grabbed your face, pulling you back into him. Surprised by the sudden force of his grip, a small yelp escaped you, before he silenced it with a kiss. The action instantly sent a warm fuzzy feeling down to your core.

Kissing you hard, your mouths moved in sync. His large hand on the side of your face kept your head in place. You winced slightly when he bit your lip, but he hardly seemed to notice. He tried to slip his tongue between your lips, but you denied it.

Trying to gain control of the kiss and situation. You heard a low grumble from him, he seemed discontented with your attitude. You smirked against his lips, which seemed to annoy him further. Moving his hands down your body, he grabbed your ass, hard. The pain going straight into your core, making you moan into his mouth. He seized the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth.

This time you didn’t even try to get the upper hand, you liked that he was in control. Finally someone who was more dominant in these things. Giving you the time to explore this new, more submissive side. Letting go of your face he moved his hand down your body. Over your chest, stomach and finally resting at your hips, pulling you against him. Goosebumps traveled all over your body, where his hands touched you. Your brain felt dazed, this was the hottest makeout session you ever had. You didn’t care about his roughness or the biting, you rather liked it.

When he broke the kiss you were both panting heavily. Slowly, almost teasing, he traced his fingers up your spine before grabbing you by your hair and tilting your head upwards to look at him. Your mouth parted slightly, a small moan escaped your lips. It stung where he had his grip on your hair, but the slight pain turned you on even more. Sure you knew you liked reading about these kinds of things, but experiencing them made you feel even more aroused.

For a split second, you thought you saw his panting expression change into a smirk. Before you could think twice, he kissed you again. Your mind instantly went blank, his kiss was like a drug. This kiss was slower, still rough but he set the tone. Moving his lips against yours, pushing his hand between your legs. You felt hot, everything felt way too hot to bear, never had you been kissed with such passion. You needed to be closer to him. You tried running your hands down his body.

He removed his hands in an instant, grabbing yours and pushing them back to your sides. You let out a small whine. ‘What was going on with you? You never whined. You felt like a schoolgirl, making out for the first time’ Shaking his head disapprovingly, he turned away to grab his drink. Taking a sip, he held it near your lips, offering it to you. “It’s just water.”

You knew you shouldn’t drink from strangers, though you were way too drunk to think straight or even logically. ‘You wanted to keep making out and if that helped?’ Looking up at him you tilted your head forward against the glass and emptied the whole glass. You didn’t even realize how thirsty you were, and a glass of water seemed like a good option.

“Good girl.”, you heard his deep voice beside your ear. The loud music was making it hard to hear him clearly. The praise went straight to your core. He put his drink away and you began dancing to the music. More like grinding on each other.

He still didn’t allow you to touch him much and you wanted nothing more than to travel your hands up and down on his body, or under his shirt. He leaned down, grabbing your hips to press you against him. Pressing his hard crotch against your lower stomach, making you inhale a sharp breath.

“Can I get your number?” his deep voice mumbled against your ear. You pondered. It felt like he was growling. Slowly he began caressing your ear, gently kissing his way to your neck, making you close your eyes, leaning your head back to give him better access. Your legs were feeling weak. Running his thumb along your jawline, he sucked and bit in your neck, as he kissed his way back to your ear.

“Please?” his voice was a low growl against your ear. Your eyes fluttered open again as you nodded, desire filled your body. You would do anything, if he kept going on like this.

He kissed you softly this time and you bit his lip as he tried ending the kiss. You wanted to kiss him longer. You missed his warmth already, and also missed the dark look flashing up in his eyes. He pulled his phone out, tipping something before handing it to you. As you grabbed his phone, you felt yourself wobble to the side. Luckily he grabbed you in time and stadied you against his body. Now your back was pressed against his front.

You thought about grinding your butt against him, but as if sensing your thoughts he nudged you towards his phone. Looking at the screen, it was truly hard to concentrate for you. He kept sidetracking you by placing soft kisses on your neck.

Blinking rapidly you slowly made out the numbers. Your vision seemed a bit blurry, your eyes feeling so heavy. ‘You didn’t even drink that much’ After what felt like hours you successfully put in your number. As soon as you were done, he grabbed his phone back.

You were so drunk that you didn’t notice the contact already had a name. - Sweetheart - Turning back to him you nearly lost your balance, falling against his chest. His arm wrapped around your side, steadying you as he began walking you through the crowd of dancing people. You found it so difficult to keep your balance, you felt funny. You couldn’t seem to focus, everything stayed a bit blurred. You didn’t even know where he took you. Was he taking you home?

“Hey, sorry to bother you guys.”, he loudly said to someone over the music as he came to a stop. You leaned your face against his shoulder. You were really tired.

“You are her friends, right? I think someone put something in her drink, one minute she was fine and the next she could barely stand.” Your brows furrowed, ‘drugged? You were fine… when should that have happened? Didn’t those drugs work way quicker?’ Shocked gasps filled the air.

“I thought I would bring her back to you, so you can get her home.” He had such a calming and sympathetic voice. ‘Why would he bring you back? You were having fun.’ You playfully bit him in his chest, making him tighten his grip on your hip. His lips pressed in a firm line.

“Yes, yes she is our friend. Oh fuck. Thank you so much man!” Four hands grabbed you off the stranger you were leaning onto. You pouted.

“No-o I don’t wa- want to”, your voice slurred, you sounded like a brat. Struggling against their grip, not wanting to leave his side, but they were stronger than you. Also your fight wasn't really that much of a fight as you thought, you could hardly stand straight. You didn’t even knew his name. His jaw clenched as he looked towards you and the two holding you, his eyes lingered on the arm of the girl.

“Yes yes, hopefully you got his number.”, said a high pitched female voice near your ear. It sounded like Mary. You looked around, it was Lucas and Mary who supported you. ‘Why those two?’

“Why didn’t you tell me you liked older men?” Giggling, you shrugged your shoulders.

“He is so fine, maybe I should talk to him too.” Mary whispered in your ear. ‘What about her boyfriend?’

“Well, thanks again man, I’m Simon, her best friend. We’re taking her home asap, before something happens…” he began, as Lucas and Mary led you away. He gestured for them to stop, but they didn’t look back. Thus you couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation play out. It was a good thing. Drugged or not, your subconsciousness would have freaked out sooner or later.

“No problem Simon. It is what everybody would have done. Call me Cooper.”, he held his hand out for him to shake, which Simon gladly accepted.

“Nah, I don’t think so. Some sick fuck, may have taken advantage of her in a state like that. So thank you Cooper.. Shit, I just wanted her to have a good time on her birthday.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself Simon. I was glad I could help. Wish her a happy birthday from me, I hope she feels better in the morning.” Simon nodded, turning around to talk with the others and Cooper soon vanished in the crowd. Slowly your friends started to follow the three of you back to the entrance of the club.

“Hey, Y/N you stay here and wait. Lucas and I get the jackets. Just hold onto the handrail of the stairs or sit down. You can stand on your own for a bit, can’t you? ”she asked, concerned and something different in her voice. You gave her a thumbs up before holding onto the railing again.

“We will hurry as best as we can, the others should be here soon.” She came closer, whispering in your ear.

“Also you can stop your show now. Yes it’s your birthday, but do you need that much attention?”, with that she and lucas made her way to the coat check waiting line.

You let your head fall back as you take deep breaths. ‘Show? What show?’ Deeply breathing in the fresh air that was coming from the entrance. Few people were walking past you either coming in or leaving the club. Still it was hard concentrating on anything, but you were doing okay.

Until you weren’t. All of a sudden you felt something against your back and in the next moment you lost your footing and along with the grip on the handrail and flew down the stairs. Instinctively your body tried not to hit the ground face first. For that you turned around to face the top of the stairs. ‘Was there a man?’ you thought. Blinking once whoever you thought you saw was gone, just panicked bystanders. Did you hear Simon?

Your side painfully crashed first into the stairs, then continuing falling further down the stairs. You tried your best to stop or push yourself up, but failed. Someone behind you grabbed your arm to stop you. The only thing it brought you was, that you landed on your foot, with your butt while also twisting it in a painful way.

(A/N: You know, I thought about it, Leaving you hanging right here. However a) I should not end all my chapters the same, you could get bored and b) I’m not evil.)

Pain shot up from your foot, as your tears began to form in your eyes. “Fuck, Y/N.” Simon and Sebastian seemed next to you in mere seconds. Carefully they lifted you off the ground and gently removed your foot from under you. It hurt like hell.

“Is she alright?”, one of the bouncers came towards you from the entrance, having heard the commotion.

“Hey, can you move your foot?” Simon asked. You gave it a try, whining instantly. Crying even more you shook your head, your brain was way too foggy to come up with a smart ass reply.

“Where were you?” yelled an otherwise rather quiet Simon.

“Getting our jackets...” began Mary.

“She was drugged and you left her alone? Are you serious Mary?” Lizzy yelled too, her face enraged.

“How do we know she really was drugged? Maybe she just played it to get away from that man?” Mary suggested in an annoyed tone.

“What the fuck? Did you look at her? Does she seem like a normal drunk to you? You have seen her drunk before, but never like this!”, came Lizzy's angry reply.

“Also from what I saw in the beginning, she sucked his fucking face off! Didn’t seem like she hated it.” Simon countered.

“Why did you even leave her alone in the first place? None of this would have happened! Lucas you have no brain of your own anymore?”, Sebastian joined their yelling. The statement made Lucas' face turn the darkest shade of red.

“Fucking pathetic. Lets get her to the emergency room, someone order an uber?”Simon turned around angrily, and he and Lizzy helped you up. Each of them supported you as you hobbled down towards the streets. The way from the Club to the ER was gone in a blur. You couldn’t remember most of it. One minute you were leaving the club and in the next you laid on a bed in the ER. ‘How did you get here?’

You looked around for your friends, but the room was empty besides Simon who was sitting next to your bed with a worried expression. Your head felt clearer, you cleared your throat.

“So what did the doctor say, Simon? What's the damage?”, better get it over with.

“Well.. bad news first. You have a bruised foot and a hyperextended ligament. As a consequence you have to wear a bandage and walk on crutches for the next month at least.”

You sighed. It seemed like he wasn’t even finished with the bad news yet.

“You also got a few bruises on your arms, legs and back. Buut the Good news– they've given you something to counteract the effects of the drugs, but you'll probably still have to sleep it off, to fully feel better.”

“Better?” you laughed “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Anything is better than this..”

“I know..” he said as he patted your head. “Listen, they want to keep you here overnight, but just call me in the morning and we will pick you up and drive you home, ok?”

Defeated, you nodded, he squeezed your hand and left soon after. Leaving you alone in the empty room. The rest of the night was uneventful. The nurses checking up on you from time to time, bringing you more water. Sadly they also woke you up at 6 to check your vitals again and give you painkillers. After one final talk with the doctor, getting instructions from him for the next weeks and your crutches, you were ready to go home.

As promised Simon picked you up, he even cleaned your apartment from you and forbade you from helping. He was too kind. He even made Sebastian shop some groceries for you, which he brought over. So you didn’t need to stress about that for the next couple of days. About two hours later they left, telling you to call if you needed something.

You never had a wild birthday like that before, but somehow trouble seemed to find you. It was just a small consolation that nothing had happened to you the last months.

Still exhausted, you laid back on the couch, still in your yesterday's outfit. Closing your eyes as you enjoyed the silence. The ping of your phone ringing loud through the quietness of your apartment. You grabbed your phone and held it above your face. It was from Simon, he left not even a minute ago. Did he forget something? You opened your Phone.

– I totally forgot to tell you something. I meant to wish you a happy birthday from the man from the club last night. He also wished for you to get well soon. –

A second message followed.

– You remember? The one you made out with? He said his name was Cooper. –

Cooper…You knew that name. There was only one person that came to your mind with that exact name. Alarm Bells were going off in your head, but whatever they gave you in the hospital was working. You weren’t shaking or panicking, you were rather calm, what confused you.

That couldn’t be true, no. Surely you would have recognized him, even in the dim light of the club. It wasn’t that dark, was it? You rested your phone on your chest and began thinking about last night. Trying to remember, you realized that reconstructing the evening would be way harder than you thought. There were a lot of gaps in your memories and many were quite foggy. Perhaps it was because of the drugs mixed in your drink.

Sighing you closed your eyes, attempting to recollect what the stranger looked like. He was tall, had a small beard, you didn’t remember his eye or hair color, but his hair was a bit longer? You were unsure. You remembered his large hands on your body, holding your head in place while kissing you. He was strong for sure.

‘Think straight!’ you warned yourself, already starting to feel hot again. Just thinking about it still turned you on. ‘If that was Cooper, the man from that concert. You were fucked.’

You tried to arrange your thoughts. Yes, you made out with him, a serial killer, and you liked it, you felt disgusted. ‘You didn’t know it was him. Why would he even be there? The possibility was close to zero’ Suddenly you remembered something.

Didn’t you drink from his drink? Of course you were drunk before, but after that everything went downhill. Recalling how super drunk and tired you felt soon afterwards. It would all make sense.

Except… Why did he bring you back to your friends then? Perhaps it was a weird coincidence?

Maybe you should ask Simon if his name was really Cooper. Maybe he misunderstood? That looked like a good option. Opening your phone, you started to answer Simon as a new message came in.

It was from an unknown number. A simple: – Happy Birthday Sweetheart. –

It couldn’t be, you changed your number. Not many people called you that and you faintly remember Cooper calling you like that. Before you could wonder about it more, a second message from the same number appeared. What you read then made your heart freeze in fear, your pulse increased and hands started shaking, which made reading the message harder.

– You know, you were always nervous and so easily startled, like a cute little doe. Constantly on alert and looking around, to run away, at the slightest noise. Though if there were a little accident to happen. Where will you go now little doe, if you can’t even run? –

(A/N: nvm i am evil)

#trap 2024 #cooper adams #cooper adams x reader #trap movie #josh hartnett #cooper adams x you #cooper adams x y/n #cooper abott × reader #cooper abott

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writingquestionsanswered · 6 months ago

Note

What do you do when you have dozens upon dozens of wips/ideas? How can I finish more stuff when I have so much in my head - and I'm still coming up with new stuff lmao. I can I get more done?

Productivity When Dealing with a Rush of Ideas

The key is accepting that you don't have to write every idea as soon as it comes to you. Part of being successful as a writer is learning to catalogue ideas and let them simmer while you work on other things. Many writers utilize a notebook, file folder, word document, etc. as a place to store the various ideas that come to them. I have one on my computer with sub-folders for plot ideas, character ideas, world ideas, scene ideas, title ideas, name ideas, etc. When I get an idea, I note it down in a text file and save it to the appropriate folder. With practice, this becomes a ritual for getting it out of my head so I can get back to what I was doing. By learning to set aside new ideas for later, you can put your energy and effort into finishing your current projects. With each current project you finish, you'll get better and better at finishing projects, which will help you get faster at finishing projects, too.

Happy writing!

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bwat5-blog · 2 months ago

Text

Caitlyn Kiramman Discussion Response: @xxbrightshadowxx

**Discussion of Arcane so obviously spoiler warning for entire show**

***REALLY LONG***

Before We Begin: To anyone aside from the user I tagged who reads this, please don't post anything aggressive on here. We have all done plenty of mud-slinging, INCLUDING ME. I am not judging or ragging on anyone. But they responded kindly and respectfully and have just asked for the same, which I intend to honor. Thank you.

Part One Of Discussion

Good morning, I have read through your entire response and as promised have returned to give my response as well. First of all, thank you for taking the time to read and respond at all. I'm just another internet random and you certainly don't owe me a moment of your time. Second, thank you for leaving the door open for good discussion and debate. I linked part one of this with your response as well up top in blue, and will paste your response below. That way this doesn't turn into an enormously long post, but we can see what was said and the response on this page.

Your Responses:

Hello. I will not lie, this is very impressive. You break down information and your response is effective. It’s organized, you get your point through very thoroughly. You also did it without insulting me which is a lot more than some tumblr users and TikTok users could do for me. You’re right it’s clear you and I are on opposite ends of how we felt about Caitlyn in season 2. Some of your points did change some of my thinking towards Caitlyn and some I still have the same feelings to.

You’re right Caitlyn was not in the right headspace when she went against Jinx and has a lot of PTSD from her so she wasn’t in the best of mind when she hit her. I’ll agree with that. For your point that Caitlyn apologized to Vi through her actions I have to disagree with that. That’s because the show never truly acknowledges Caitlyn leaving or hitting Vi. Her saving Vander, she does get a point for that however her running to Vi when she was injured instead of Jink just shows she still cares about her not that she’s necessarily sorry. Her keeping Jinx in the bunker rather than Stillwater, and holding off on any judgement until Vi is awake isn’t shown to be Caitlyn doing that because she wants to apologize to Vi. Her letting Vi free Jinx, while that could show she’s apologizing and making amends, it falls flat because Jinx leaves Vi so it doesn’t feel as effective, at least for me.

As for the gray and Ambessa’s manipulation: I also disagree with. Ambessa, while she did orchestra the attack at the funeral and put Caitlyn in charge, Caitlyn chose to use the gray on Zaun. The gray is a gas. That is what I meant by nuclear/chemical warfare(should’ve been more specific, sorry) You cannot control a gas once it’s released. And the gray isn’t just a tear gas or anything it is a life ending gas that could kill people. We learn this from Viktor who was dying from it in season 1. And the excuse that it was Chembarons they were using it on doesn’t help it. It does not matter if the chembarons weren’t good people and were criminals. They were still people. You mentioned the deleted scenes that make Caitlyn look better and I actually haven’t seen them. I’ll look into them when I’m less busy. But you mentioned deleted scenes and how there are no proven longer term effects to such a ‘short’ amount. There is a deleted scene of Ekko bringing people to the firelight base, people that aren’t one of the chembarons that were coughing from the gray. People who weren’t chembarons were also affected by the gray. But then again, it was a deleted scenes so it is a weak rebuttal since it wasn’t actually in the show. You are right, the show doesn’t glorify the gassing but it doesn’t ever acknowledge the event after it happens. No one calls out Caitlyn on the morality of using the gray or the effects it could have on the people. She doesn’t get consequences for gassing people or hurting Vi. The show doesn’t even mention the hit again after it happens. When Vi does call her out, it’s not for her attacks on Zaun. It’s for listening to Ambessa.

About Jinx, Sevika, and Silco. I do believe you simplify their actions. I do give Jinx more slack because she is a product of Piltover’s neglect and oppression. Don’t get me wrong, she’s crazy and very violent. But all her issues stem from Piltover’s abuse Enforcers killed her parents during whah seemed to be a protest against Piltover. Silco did affect her and made her who she was but he wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t already affected by Piltover. yes, Silco is awful. He wants more than anything to get revenge on Topside rather than freedom for Zaun which causes him to do things that hurt his own people without remorse. But the only reason he was the way he was from resentment for Piltover constantly treating them like crap as stated before in season 1. His resentment overtook his want for freedom for his people and it turned him for the worse. If Topside treated Zaun better, Silco would’ve never become the monster he was. And as for Sevika, it’s implied she’s also a product of Piltover’s neglect. The reason why the killed Vander is because Vander was bending to Piltover’s will. He might’ve stopped the enforcers going down there but Zaun was still fighting for scraps, they were still treated as less and Vi calls him out for it. Im not saying them attacking and trying to kill the kids makes it right. But what I am saying is if you want to say Caitlyn is complex then you have to admit that Silco, Sevika, and Jinx are as well. Caitlyn, she gets consequences for going against Ambessa by her injuries but she doesn’t get consequences for hurting Vi or gassing Zaun. Also, it’s not that I only love Caitlyn when she isn’t affected by the things she went through. It’s just that I don’t love how the writers handled the direction her character went through even though I think they could’ve made it work with their vision. As a tumblr user I like said: ‘they wanted the aesthetic of a person gone down the wrong path while still making them seem good in their eyes’.

To finish this long reply, you make great points in the defense of Caitlyn, some making me take on a new perspective. there is so much more I most likely missed or counterpoints you might have for me. I also plan to read through your analysis posts to see how you interpreted them. If you do and want to rebuttal I’d be interested to see what you have to say as long as you stay respectful to me and I’ll do the same for you.

End Your Responses

You disagree that Caitlyn ever truly apologizes for hitting and leaving Vi-

Okay I responded to your overall complaint that Caitlyn never really apologizes to Vi. I stated that while it is correct she never verbally apologizes, she does so through her deeds.

You responded to each point, explaining why you still don't feel that it was truly addressed and Caitlyn truly apologized:

"For your point that Caitlyn apologized to Vi through her actions I have to disagree with that. That’s because the show never truly acknowledges Caitlyn leaving or hitting Vi"

You then responded to each point:

1. We agree on Caitlyn helping save Vander. 2. You feel that prioritizing saving Vi over hurting Jinx was more an expression of still caring for Vi rather any remorse for her actions. 3. You feel that Caitlyn keeping Jinx in the bunker and holding off on judgement was not shown as an apology. 4. You feel that while allowing Vi to free Jinx could be seen as making amends, it falls flat because Jinx leaves. (you make a point of mentioning at it does so at least for you)

Okay, so I already mentioned the actions I consider her expressions of apology and remorse. But we need to talk about her words as well. There are three big moments that show her feelings about her actions in particular:

S2 E8 28:51- "I know!"

Vi has confronted Caitlyn over Jinx being locked up. When Caitlyn says it was clear Jinx was a contingency in the commune because Vi didn't trust her, Vi straight up calls her out-

"Can you blame me? How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear and you just ate it"

Our timestamped quote is how Caitlyn responds. She is clearly upset and angry with herself. She knows what she did and is acknowledging her wrong doing in allowing herself to be twisted up and used by Ambessa.

S2 E8 28:19- "We can't erase our mistakes. None of us"

The conversation continues. Vi tells her that Jinx has changed and this is how Caitlyn responds. But again, we have to look at Caitlyn is actually saying.

"None of Us"

They have been talking about Jinx. Caitlyn is verbally equating herself with Jinx. The woman she hated so intensely it drove her to this point. The woman who killed her mother. And even though she is saying it about Jinx she is saying it about herself as well.

She is looking at Vi and saying in another way- "Nothing can erase what I did"

S2 E8 27:06- "No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes!...Hating you... I've hated myself. I just don't have the energy for it any longer".

So as we know, following her conversation with Vi Caitlyn goes to see Jinx in the bunker and they have this moment.

So once again, Caitlyn verbally equates herself with Jinx. This time speaking to Jinx directly. That is twice now she has placed herself on the same level as the woman who killed her mother, who she allowed her hate for to drive herself so far over crossing the line. Twice that she has expressed the belief there is no way that not only Jinx, but that SHE can make things right.

And perhaps most telling of all, it is not to Vi who she loves, that she admits she has hated herself. It's to Jinx. The woman who once haunted her literal waking steps, who she hated with such intensity that she cast aside everything she believed in, who killed her mother. I suspect guilt doesn't even begin to cover how she feels.

Okay. Now, I am well aware that none of that is a direct apology to Vi over what she did. My reason for mentioning those moments is that we have to remember Caitlyn is not a character known for outward display of emotion. Not that it doesn't happen, but no matter how you feel about her I think we can agree she is never really shown to be the overly mushy type. Look at the moment tells her father she could have stopped Jinx:

S2 E1 30:30- "I had the shot"

We at least agreed Caitlyn went through some seriously messed up stuff in season one. So she has been through all of that, now she is dealing with her mother's death and sitting on the couch next to her father. And this is all she says. Staring down at the ground with teary eyes she says this one thing, blaming herself.

She was never the sort that was going to fall on her knees and beg Vi's forgiveness. It just isn't in line with her personality or depiction. So keeping that in mind I would argue we need to view her actions I listed with this new context in mind that I have given:

1. She is aware and admitting she messed up and is clearly angry over it 2. She feels that nothing can erase what she did 3. She feels no good deed can undo her crimes 4. She is placing herself on the same level as Jinx 5. She hates herself for what she did 6. She is not the sort of character to express herself through her words

Saving Vander: We agreed on this one

Prioritizing saving Vi over hurting Jinx: I actually do see your point here even with this context. But, I think that the fact that when Caitlyn didn't have time to think and just had to tact, her eyes never left the woman she hurt so terribly in pursuit of her hatred even though the object of said hatred was there with her back turned. And I think that speaks greatly to the change in Caitlyn's heart.

Holding Jinx in the bunker and postponing judgement: So this is the first one where Caitlyn has any measure of time to think. When I say this is a way of making amends I don't mean Caitlyn saw it as-

"I screwed up, if I keep Jinx out of Stillwater and don't execute her maybe I can make things right"

Caitlyn doesn't believe she can make things right, as we have seen. She doesn't think anything she does can erase her crimes. And she sees herself in the same light as the woman who killed her mother. She hates herself.

Regarding this point, we have to remember Caitlyn is not the only person who wanted Jinx's head on a plate. The elite of Piltover, the families of every Enforcer she killed, there are countless people who would be baying for Jinx's execution. But Caitlyn keeps her close, and even though she was still The Commander at that time and had all authority needed to do so, she does not hurt her. She waits for Vi, because even if she can't make it right, she doesn't want to make it any worse.

Allowing Vi to free Jinx: So on this one you stated you can see it as making amends, but it fell flat for you because Jinx left Vi. You are of course entitled to your opinion and I understand if you feel that way. All I'd say I suppose is that just to remember what the weight of that decision actually means regarding Caitlyn. She set aside her hatred of her mother's killer, in favor of her love for Vi. Even if it would mean she lost Vi forever.

You disagree with my points regarding Caitlyn & The Grey-

Regarding the use of The Grey you raise several points:

1. You admit that while Ambessa orchestrated the attack on the memorial, Caitlyn made the choice to use The Grey 2. You clarify your overall complaint was her use of chemical warfare against the defenseless of Zaun regarding your point in your original post- "She gassed and used nuclear warfare against the defenseless in Zaun" (You clarified you meant chemical) 3. You state The Grey is not like tear gas, it is fatal. And that we learn this from Viktor who was dying of it in season one. 4. The use of The Grey is not justified just because The Chem-Barons are criminals, as they are still people 5. There were people affected who were not bad guys 6. The show does not acknowledge using The Grey, she faces no consequences for it, and when Vi calls her out it is for Ambessa, not for her actions in Zaun

Caitlyn made the decision to use The Grey on her own:

She absolutely did. No arguments. But I will say I think considering the context is extremely important and something that is often left aside when this comes up. I am posting a section of another post I did below that addresses this topic exactly. Part of this post was proving Ambessa set up the attack as well so ignore that as we already agree.

***START OLD POST***

Let's go back in time to the aftermath of Jinx's attack on the council and what their plan of retaliation entails. S2 E1 33:37-Ambessa smirking at Mel as Salo explains "I thought it prudent to solicit the advice of such an experienced veteran"

S2 E1 33:20- Salo finishes explaining his plan- "We flood the undercity with Enforcers, armed with Hextech"

S2 E1 33:18- Caitlyn immediately protests "innocents will be caught in the cross fire"

S2 E1 32:02-31:58- Mel agrees to a form of the plan after Salo continues to push. "I'll agree to endorse the invasion. But I draw the line at Hextech".

Okay. So we have established the Council's intention in clear and precise language with examples straight out of content- INVASION. But! There's a problem. Because what does Ambessa actually want? Fully weaponized hextech. How do we know this? Well she told us-

S1 E9 33:35- "If there is a chance hextech can be weaponized, we must have it" Ambessa says after being confronted by Mel

S1 E9 33:32- "Piltover isn't your testing ground" Mel responds S1 E9 33:23- "I can't believe you'd start a war just to cover your ass" Mel continues S1 E9 33:20- " I would set the world ablaze to protect our family" Ambessa admits

Alright so we know the Council's plan. And we know Ambessa's motivation, including how far she'd go to achieve it and that comes straight from her own mouth. She openly admits she'd not only start a war, but light the world on fire to do what she views as needed to protect her family. The council's failure to ratify Salo's plan of all out aggression counters her goal.

So how does she push it to that point? The memorial attack. She sent her man Rictus to assist the Chem Baron Renni, giving her the chance for revenge on Jayce during the memorial. She of course then came to the rescue with her people, killing Renni herself. We see evidence of all of this below:

S2 E3 5:48- Flashback begins showing everything we just discussed

Ambessa's goal: Weaponized Hextech at any cost

Council's plan: Invasion without Hextech

Ambessa's response: Organizes a full Zaunite incursion in the middle of a memorial service killing several and stoking hostility and fear to an all time high

Back to Caitlyn-

Okay finally we are back. So as I said, she protests the invasion plan but is denied. We see this clearly. The memorial attack occurs and of course we know from there Caitlyn forms the plan for the strike team, goes to the council, then she and the team go into Zaun utilizing The Grey and so on. So lets review the conversation leading her to create the team. It's after the memorial attack. She is understandably quite upset- no matter how much you don't like her they got attacked during a memorial for her mom- and she and Vi talk.

S2 E1 7:48 to 7:41- Vi tells Caitlyn "you need to find a way to call off the invasion... This battle was on your soil. Down there, you'll be on their terms" S2 E1 7:35 to 7:27- In response to Vi telling Caitlyn they need to change it when Caitlyn says "none of this is on our terms" Caitlyn says "I don't know how okay? She leaves this giant hole, and I'm just supposed to fill it. Like she was never here to begin with."

S2 E1 5:26 to 5:16- Salo is speaking to the others in the wake of the attack pressing once more for the full weaponization of Hextech. "We can't afford anymore handwringing. If we do not defend ourselves with Hextech, our principles will mean nothing".

And from there as we know, she uses The Kiramman Key and learns about The Grey. From there we get the "Heavy Is The Crown" sequence where the strike team is revealed.

Conclusion:

Caitlyn formed the strike team and used The Grey as an alternative to The Invasion. She only did so because of The Memorial Attack.

Ambessa conclusively and undeniably orchestrated the memorial attack.

Ambessa did so after declaring in her own words in season 1 after being accused of being willing to start a war "I would set the world ablaze to protect our family"

Caitlyn used The Grey because of Ambessa and the events she orchestrated.

***END OLD POST BACK TO CURRENT DOC**

So all of that mess to say, while I do of course agree that the end of the day Caitlyn made the choice. I all too often see this component totally left out. Ambessa intentionally and knowingly orchestrated not only an attack, but an attack during a memorial knowing it would enrage people. If she hadn't done we never would have arrived where we do.

Addressing points 2-4: Caitlyn used chemical warfare against the defenseless, it is fatal, and the use of it against the criminal element does not justify its use as they are still human beings.

Okay, the reason I am addressing three points in one is these all fall under the same issue. There has been quite a lot of criticism levelled at Caitlyn all under the heading of chemical warfare. All with mention of the real-world definitions and laws that classify such things, and the accusations of how she violated them. At the end of the day, this is all a work of fiction. So real-world technical standards of war crimes, chemical warfare and so on have no meaning in-world.

And that of course isn't to say there is anything wrong with analyzing fiction through a real world lens to a point. If you are interested as an exercise in curiosity I delved into how the use of The Grey would be classified per The Chemical Weapons Convention myself. To the best of my ability I deduced it would actually be called a "Riot Control Agent" or "RCA", not a "Chemical Weapon". It's linked below but I realize sending additional documents when I'm already on here writing novels is obnoxious.

Grey War Crime Doc

So setting aside the real-world standards at least for this conversation (you are of course entitled to stick to them for yourself as see fit), we can very much so talk about The Grey with what we are given from content.

Is The Grey Fatal?

Long Term Exposure: Absolutely it can be. We see the sketches of those Zaunites when caitlyn is using the key with those terrible injuries. Viktor actually isn't confirmed to be sick from The Grey itself but more than likely. There is all sorts of dialogue and plenty of evidence to back this up.

Short Term Exposure: There is zero evidence to support this. Every single person we see exposed during the Strike Team's use of it, during Silco's use of it, and during the final battle is either alive, or quite clearly died from something else. Of course as I said in the other post, we can speculate. But we can speculate about all sorts of things. Vi's repeated head trauma alone is very likely to end in seizures or CTE if we want to get into that. Sevika is a chain smoker. Jinx is infused with shimmer and looks like she weighs roughly 90 pounds who knows what her future holds. That could go on forever. But if short term exposure is fatal as you suggest, this is a list of characters who are going to die of complications, or should have died already-

Caitlyn

Jinx (I know but I'm of the camp that she survived)

Steb

Sevika

Piltover boy Ambessa uses as an anti-zaun prop

Heenot

And those are just the ones whose names we know. There are many things in our world that are extremely dangerous when exposed to excessive quantities, but quite mundane at lesser quantities. All evidence given by the show itself suggests The Grey falls into this category.

2. Did Caitlyn Gas The Defenseless?

First, lets review her named targets of The Strike Team:

Jinx

Associates of Silco (the chem-barons)

Shimmer

So at the very least, her named targets are not anyone defenseless. Now as we know, the deployment of The Grey was via the ventilation system Cassandra Kiramman herself created. This means two things:

-It wasn't being dropped as bombs, or fired from cannons or any of that. It was coming from specific points at chosen times. -Caitlyn had control of it. Not arguing what she did with it yet, just that she herself was the one "at the wheel" if you will. And we do get confirmation of this via the Hellfire animation with plans showing the controls and actual images of Caitlyn using them

I bring that up only to show that it was not just some sort of random flooding of The Undercity.

Moving on! So, we know they at the absolute least did not enter Zaun intending to target anyone defenseless or innocent, and that Caitlyn did have some amount of control over its use. Now we come to this quote by writer/creator Amanda Overton:

"It was strategic to a pin point. Still, is that forgivable?"

Now I know as I stated before in the original post, many people who are very unhappy with Caitlyn's story in season two have made up their mind to ignore/disregard this quote. If you feel that way, I cannot argue it because that is your right. But as she is one of the creators and she did say it, I factor it into my conversation and will continue to do so.

Now, we of course do have the address the issue of it being a gas, fictional or not. I absolutely agree that there was no way it could be controlled completely. And we do see this, in S2 E2 31:29 Smeech and his crew arrive at Margot's base to find the grey leaking out of the big statue's eyes and mouth to a point. But I would point out two things.

This is what it looks like outside-

It looks thick but some of that is regular Zaun smog we always see, plus Smeech and his associated while covering the mouths are able to speak quite freely with only a bit of coughing

2. This is what it looks like where they actually let it loose just on the other side-

So my point is this. I absolutely agree they could not guarantee it would only impact their chosen targets. But I would say that clearly the system they use is giving them at least a decent amount of control.

In Review:

Caitlyn very specifically names targets that only pose a threat to everyone's safety, Piltover & Zaun alike.

The deployment of The Grey is proven to be under her control to a point.

One of the creators of the show confirmed Caitlyn used The Grey in a strategic manner

While acknowledging and recognizing that The Grey cannot be contained completely, the evidence we see of that very thing suggests that environmental exposure is fairly controlled at least while dealing with Chem-Baron bases themselves.

So my question regarding this topic is as follows: Which of these two statements seems more fair and honest given this topic?

Caitlyn gassed the defenseless.

Caitlyn used the grey in a tactical and strategic fashion, but in her growing anger and hate failed to account for the potential risk to the defenseless of Zaun.

Because as I have said several times now. I'm not out to justify her wrong doing. Just to bring down the heat of the rhetoric around her story so it can be discussed fairly and honestly.

3. Was gassing the Chem-Barons unjust?

So this is again something that is going to come down a lot to opinion. But, we can certainly discuss it. To review a few pertinent factors:

Caitlyn's strike team is an alternative to a full invasion, as we saw.

The chem-barons have weapons and shimmer.

The Grey is only proven to be fatal with long-term exposure. Otherwise it is temporarily debilitating like tear gas.

So, Piltovan retaliation is coming. That is not up for debate. The chem-barons are extremely dangerous. If Caitlyn doesn't use The Grey, and they want to stop the invasion as we showed earlier, what is her option?

Fighting. Room to room, floor to floor, more than likely fatal fighting. Instead of using the grey and arresting everyone while they are coughing up a fit, more than likely a lot of people are going to die.

And we have to remember, while of course the Chem-Barons are people. They are very dangerous, and they are not good for Zaun either. We see Sevika trying to stop their turf wars because they are ripping Zaun apart. And this section of lyrics for Suckers put it quite plainly as Jinx is walking through the fracturing Undercity-

"Dirty little animals You cannibals, eat your supper One by one, all these vultures keep coming"

As we are given scenes of them destroying each other. These are violent, greedy, evil people ripping their home apart.

Something we should also address is that at least Chross (if not the other barons) has forced child labor somewhere in his organization. We see them being taken during the Suckers montage. So, does this mean if there were children in a base that got hit with the grey then they did as well?

Yes it certainly does. But keeping in mind that the alternative is for Enforcers who don't care who they hurt wielding hex-tech weapons to storm these bases shooting shooting at will, what is the better option for these kids? The Grey, or a bullet?

The show does not acknowledge using The Grey, she faces no consequences for it, and when Vi calls her out it is for Ambessa, not for her actions in Zaun

Okay, so this is kind of the wrap up regarding The Grey. So in review:

1. No in-canon evidence of being fatal from their use 2. It was used in the most controlled fashion they could 3. The alternative to the strike team was a full invasion, and the alternative to The Grey within the strike team was active and likely much more deadly fighting 4. The people they did target were dangerous, well armed, and posed a threat to everyone's safety

So what does all that mean?

It means that the use of The Grey, is not wrong for the reasons people have made it out to be. Not in this instance. Let's return to just the small bit of lyrics from "Hellfire"-

"Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason? Is it bad that I'm making friends with my demons"

Putting Jinx aside because her dynamic with Caitlyn is obviously much more complicated, the strike team's goals are good for everyone. Shimmer is a blight on Zaun. Ekko himself says so. And we have already covered the barons. Removing these things is undeniably good for Zaun. And with the alternative being an invasion or what would clearly be much more deadly fighting, I genuinely cannot fathom a way in which they could have done this better. What they are doing, is not the issue. It's why.

Caitlyn doesn't lead a strike team into Zaun to liberate the people of The Undercity from these threats that Piltover's negligence and abuse have allowed to flourish. That would be another issue entirely. She is there chasing her hate, her rage, and her need for revenge, and she doesn't see it because she can justify it under doing "the right thing". She doesn't see that its "for the wrong reason". And therefore is leading her down a darker and darker path, no matter how many lives it saved.

Something of note: Ekko is still in Zaun when this is going on. Now, I saw a post recently that suggested the writers left him out simply because they didn't want to address the fact that he would have to fight Vi and Caitlyn if he was present in these scenes. However, as stated I am more inclined to analyze the story I was given. Therefore, if you consider all the evidence I have presented, and that Ekko had not yet vanished to the AU, what is the only logical result? He at the very least tacitly approved. Because he was such a champion for his people, if this was all truly so terrible, I think we can agree he would have been in their business immediately.

So regarding your complaint, I would say my response is that The Grey isn't what she has to apologize for. That's why it isn't a focal point moving forward. Especially from Vi who was there beside her.

You disagree with my oversimplification of Jinx, Silco and Sevika-

So actually I can answer this one fairly easily. You are 100% correct. My sort of quick and dirty list of the actions of these three characters was exactly that. It lacked the detail it should have had. And given that one of things I have addressed frequently is the lack of context to Caitlyn's actions many people to demonize her unfairly, that was wrong of me. Your closing to statement to this section is one I agree with entirely-

"But what I am saying is if you want to say Caitlyn is complex then you have to admit that Silco, Sevika, and Jinx are as well."

In closing before your comments to me you revisit the topic of Caitlyn's consequences-

You see her consequences as for going against Ambessa only, not for her actions in Zaun or for hurting Vi

You don't love how the writers handled her character and story

You share a quote you agree with- "they wanted the aesthetic of a person gone down the wrong path while still making them seem good in their eyes'

Regarding Consequences:

Well as we have discussed this may just be one of those things we feel differently about. I think if you were looking for "eye for an eye" transactional sort of punishment that isn't what this story is.

But, I will try to give a clear list of what I see as consequences of her actions. I'll leave it to you to decide what heading they belong under. Keeping in mind of course that some of things are more nebulous in definition, such as long term mental health impact, but I feel that in a show like Arcane it is reasonable to assume these characters would experience such things.

Immense physical injuries: Fight against Ambessa

Immense guilt: All of it. As we established because she says in plain english, she hates herself. And if you really think about how this spiderwebs into everything that has happened there will likely be a part of Caitlyn that NEVER stops punishing herself for this

They almost lost the fight until Zaun showed. And Zaun initially didn't show yes because of their history but also because of the occupation

Mental trauma like you wouldn't believe: I mean take your pick, but the woman she was sharing a bed with while Vi was gone almost murdered her

Now, I see all of that as consequences of her mistakes and decisions in season two. Listed below is the Miriam Webster definition of consequence.

Now, I don't post that to be an arrogant jerk. I know you know what a consequence is. I post it because more and more I am getting the impression that many fans who feel as you do are looking for this:

And again, if that is how you feel, that is your prerogative. But the way I view the events that unfold, she will be living with the consequences of her actions for the rest of her life. And if you are looking for punishment, from who?

As stated, everything she did was entirely lawful. Now I am of course not saying that makes it okay. Far from. But she acted completely and totally within the bounds of the rules and laws set by this shows world. So there is no judicial punishment to be meted out.

And if you are looking for the other sort of punishment- retribution , then from whom?

Vi- Vi loves her. And Vi is also aware that Caitlyn spared Jinx's life at Vi's pleading and her entire life was ripped apart. Vi is also aware of what it feels like to lose control in a terrible moment and hurt someone you love (By the way I'm not one of those people equating Caitlyn hitting Vi to Vi hitting Powder. Clearly the actions of children versus adults, just saying Vi knows how that feels). Vi also saw who Caitlyn was before she lost her way. The same Caitlyn who saved her life repeatedly, and who comforted her after the fight on the bridge. The same Caitlyn who helped save Vander at the drop of a hat and who let Vi free her mother's killer, because she loves Vi more than she hates her.

Zaun- Regarding the grey, we have discussed that. As far as I'm concerned Caitlyn removed terrible threats from the streets of Zaun. Now talking about the occupation and Martial Law does Caitlyn owe a debt to Zaun? Of course. But Caitlyn's debt is not Piltover's. She shouldn't have to shoulder the last however many years of oppression and negligence because that nothing to do with her. The worst deeds of the occupation were done without her knowledge and away from her eyes. She was manipulated and used by an extremely intelligent and calculating war monger who stoked the conflict for her own designs. It doesn't excuse her letting herself be blinded to it for the sake of her vengeance. But she was hardly the head of the snake either.

And in closing regarding consequence or punishment, I'll say this. I know her near-death was because she fought Ambessa. But let's not forget what a victory for Ambessa and Viktor meant. Viktor intended to evolve all of humanity. Caitlyn willingly put her life on the line, and almost lost it, for a battle that mattered to the future of Zaun just as much as Piltover. And when it was all said and done,(although I acknowledge we never really get the specifics on how it works in terms a new councilor being chosen) Caitlyn doesn't sit in her mother's old seat. A Zaunite does.

You don't love how the writers handled it:

Nothing for this one that is entirely your right

"they wanted the aesthetic of a person gone down the wrong path while still making them seem good in their eyes"

So it's hard to dig too much into another person's quote. But I have seen something to the effect going around so I think I understand.

There has been a lot of commentary lately essentially saying it's like they were unwilling to commit to Caitlyn's villainous arc. That by continuing to use plot points and scenes that show her in a sympathetic light, they failed to stick the landing regarding her "turn to the dark side"

If (And I do mean if because this is someone else's quote and I don't want to put words in your mouth) that is what you mean I just cannot see it.

You yourself clearly outline Caitlyn as a good person in season one. So the way I see it:

Good person in season one + Conflicted person who makes mistakes in season two= Conflicted good person who makes mistakes.

They don't fully commit to her being a villain, because she never was one.

WRAP UP:

Good god I'm obnoxious. I feel like this is somehow even longer. I'm really sorry lol. Anyway, I really appreciate you for being willing to engage and discuss. If you are done I totally get it but I'd love to keep on if you are up for it. I'm genuinely enjoying the chance for some good respectful debate. Thank you for your time.

#arcane #arcane season 2 spoilers #caitlyn kiramman #vi arcane #caitvi #jinx arcane #arcane season 1 #vi and jinx #arcane vi #caitlyn kirraman #arcane silco #sevika arcane #arcane ekko #arcane zaun #piltover arcane #really long post #arcane discourse #vander arcane #vander

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ask-tfone-megatron · 6 months ago

Text

Decepticons, assembled! Today, I, Megatron, shall address a critical aspect of our conquest: open communication.

I don't wish to begin my regime with shrouded mystery, fostering skepticism. No more! I invite all to query me directly.

Fear not, for your curiosity will be rewarded, not punished. If I find your inquiry to be worthy of an answer I might also entertain you over my past as d-16.

Step forward, Decepticons, and inquire. Together, we'll forge an unstoppable force.

Important tags(alternative universe):

#u 1255 (tfo megop secret child):

Odyssey, megatron and optimus's child.. which optimus chooses to hide away from Megatron only to be discovered by him on a fateful day as the child went missing and found his sire (Megatron)

Theme- angst, fluffy

Pairing with @ask-tfone-optimus

#u 0124 (tfo Haunted au):

Megatron did it. He didn't save his lover as he said and now Orion is dead. Then why does he keep hearing voice? Why keep seeing him smiling in front of him? Is his lover's spirit keeps visiting him? Perhaps that is his punishment for his sin but then why he finds solace in this haunting illusion of his lover.

Theme- angst

Here Megatron is a grieving d-16

Pairing with @orionpax-arc

#u 0112- Rebirth Au:

What if Megatron returns back to his time to relive his life as d-16 but with his memory instant for him to remember his life as Megatron.

No pairing, open for all Orion pax rp accounts @orionpax-arc ,

RP rules:

Yes rp is not allowed in DM!! Whatever is in the DM .. will remain in the DM!!

The second you start to feel uneasy and uncomfortable during rp please let mun know as my muse tends to be aggressive but rp is about fun and enjoyment not discomfort

Self and oc are allowed.

If you wish for literature rp (not my best suit but you have to tag me in that post and if the scene is suitable for "TFO" Megatron to answer, he will)

Except a mixture of tfo and IDW Megatron while rp

Say rude things and you will get a rude response from Megatron. Tit or tat (I won't feel sorry for that)

(I will add more rules as I see suitable in future and if you wish to chat with the admin you are more than welcome to do so as I won't mind it much... please I sometimes feel very lonely 😭😭😭😭)

How Megatron speaks:

Normal

RAISED VOICE

Yelling

*action*/ action

How admin speaks:

Hello/((hello))

A little bit about Admin (me):

This is a sfw Blog so minors feel free to interact and ask.

Muse will not answer any questions regarding politics, hate, abuse and anything negative. Those questions will be deleted without hesitation.

Mun is a big megop fan! So if you are an optimus rp Blog I will definitely be there in your inbox!. Mun loves almost Soundop, Shockop, Megsound, Optiratchet, Driftratch, wheelratch

About muse:

Megatron is freshly after the tfo movie so the questions over d-16 are acceptable and welcome!!(Poor megs is sad and hurt)

He is independent as well connected to the canon (as much as possible)

This Megatron prefers to interact with intake before aiming his canon but do not mistake that as his weakness. He is still learning the curves of becoming a ruthless leader.

But he is soft for any sparkling in question

Muse and Mun's opinion will not always be aligned (mind it)

He is comfortable with the idea of multiverse as well.

Expect him to sometimes mess around and act more like d-16 (softie) and shit posting with other characters!(Whom he considers friends)

Here are some songs of my muse I love by @acaciasmith8 ((very creative I must add ))

That gif is created by @naeella please follow them!

#ask Megatron #every inquiry is welcomed #ask blog #tf one #tfone Megatron #Megatron #tf #tfo megatron #d-16 #tfo d-16 #tfo

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befuddledcinnamonroll · 26 days ago

Text

Top Form, here to save me yet again. What would we all do without QL to get us through the week?

This is only episode 4, so I'm very curious about how saucy we will actually get this early, and where it goes from here. Hoping for very saucy!

The puppy energy is strong today.

Of course he filmed Akin while drunk (and asleep), oh you little creepy sweetie.

Poor Akin clearly has not let loose in a very very long time.

That is true love, to be that ok with being barfed on.

Aw, it's actually sweet for Jin to just ask for a hug, but also can we talk about Boom's acting here

where he goes from smug to shocked to scared so quickly, as he realizes his attempt to paint Jin as just some horny little bastard is not going to hold against the danger of the real emotions that are there.

I do wonder when Akin last got a genuine hug from someone.

Lol, of course Jin couldn't resist the kiss, but baby, you gotta give him time.

Oh Akin. You really don't know what to do with being cared for, do you?

Omg, the way he just swims in Jin's shirt. *swoon*

Also is this honey foreshadowing...

I'm dying and we're only 12 minutes in.

The creatives on this show know what the people like, and we love them for it.

Ohoho, kitty doesn't want to delete that video.

Akin is so powerless against the puppy.

Ooh, so the red and white motif today.

This is the first time we've seen red brought in! Side note: red is a really good color for Boom.

I am very curious if the series they are filming is explicitly BL, or being passed off as "bromance". Because it is hella gay.

Lolol, Jin immediately back to puppy mode.

Hmm, don't love Jade's face there. What is he thinking?

Haha, oh Akin, you waaant him.

Also can I point out that there is no way that an actor does not have several changes of clothes on a set, so he is 100% choosing to wear Jin's clothes again. Sly boy.

This car montage is EVERYTHING.

But also how dare they transition right at this look!

The romance!

Boom, you are killing me with the faces.

Oh, he is so softening, Jin. He is goddamn butter right now.

How is a silent scene in a closet making me squee this much!?!

And of course on day 21, Jin is wearing red! I see you costume designers!

Don't mind me, just having another feral moment over height difference.

Akin looks like I always feel when a camera is on me.

God, Boom's acting is so good. All the layers of uncomfortable and wanting and confused. I get it though, the intrusion of the realities of fame in the bubble you had going for a while.

Oh Akin, no other man's seat feels the same.

Lol, Sine: "Please figure this out because my life is so much easier with Jin taking care of you".

Oh no, I can't handle sad puppy.

Not the black kitty plushie!

This is why Akin is so lovable. Under the grump, he's just pure soft squishy insides. And a huge dork. Who can resist it?

Well, showing a bunch of fans as entitled assholes who don't understand the actors' real lives is definitely accurate.

Crud. Jade wanting to commodify their relationship is going to be so bad.

This series is not going to help my "fans need to mind their own fucking business" irritation.

Red light, and more honey foreshadowing?!?!

What have we done to deserve such gifts?

Jin, you made this man feel things, he is not gonna let you pull back.

But honestly, considering what I have heard of the manga, this seems like an important moment to include. Jin has been the relentless pursuer, but this is making it clear that Akin is as invested in what happens between them, and wants Jin just as badly.

Oh, Akin's tentative yet desperate kisses. This man wants to be loved so badly, and has no idea how.

And again, Jin could take advantage of the desperation, but he won't, because he wants their physical relationship to be on equal footing. He cares about Akin's emotional state.

Omg, Jin, you idiot. Communication is key!

Damn, the way they are both so flushed is so fucking hot.

The emotional intensity, the everything!

Fucking hell! Ok, for the rest, the gifmakers will do way more justice to than any screenshot ever could. But omg. Sauciness achieved.

#top form #top form the series

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arayeee · 2 months ago

Note

what are your favorite Supercorp quotes? from Lena to Kara and Kara to Lena?

I love love love this! Okay.

Lena to Kara, top 5:

"You are literally my only friend in National City. Most people wouldn't touch a Luthor with a 10 foot pole. It would mean a lot to me if you were there" AND THE LIP BITE THAT WENT WITH IT.

"You're my favorite" *sighs* "So, what's your kryptonite?" YOUR HONOR PLEASE. Me: You Lena, YOU are her kryptonite.

"Supergirl may have saved me. But you, Kara Danvers, are MY hero" SOBBING

"I think when I feel things again, I'm going to be very very afraid, about the person I might be." This was so raw. She bared her soul to Kara in this moment, the venerability was full force and my god, she looked at Kara like Kara was the only one who could save her.

"I believe in YOU". Will always be one of my favorites. She didn't need to believe in anything else, because Kara was always something she believed in.

BONUS From the deleted scene Tremor: "No, Kara I won't stay hidden while you fight. You promised from now on you would include me in everything. We work as a team." "No buts. I'm not a damsel in a tower. If you're going after Leviathan I am fighting by your side." AND I KNOW THIS WAS WHEN SHE WAS PRETENDING TO BE KARA'S FRIEND BUT SHE FUCKING SAID THAT WITH HER CHEST. She meant it, regardless of their situation.

Kara to Lena, top 5:

"I'll beat him up for you" She has wanted to punch James since he started flirting with Lena. She was waiting for him to fuck up. Come on.

"No that's fine, I flew here" *freezes* "On, on a bus" *fixes glasses* Yeah Kara, real smooth. I know, Lena makes you all flustered.

"You are now officially a super-friend. We have t-shirts" Their banter stays cracking me up. I love them.

"You never even understood that I kept my identity from you, because I wanted to protect YOU. And I know, I know that I hurt you by waiting so long to tell my truth. But what about all the ways you hurt me? You pretended to be my friend for weeks, just so you could manipulate me. You stole from me, you convinced me to steal for you and then, then you even.. You used kryptonite on me. I made one mistake, one mistake that was only ever meant to protect YOU and in return all you did was hurt me in every way imaginable." GOD THIS SCENE. Kara lays it all out. She's vulnerable, AGAIN. But though she tells Lena she lied to protect her and she KNOWS she hurt her, she holds Lena accountable for her actions too. She doesn't just let what Lena did slide, no. She puts it all out there and it was perfect. It was the perfect build up for their eventual full coming back together.

"No, no. you are NOT weak. You are a brilliant, kind hearted, beautiful soul. Your brother asked you for help, and in life and death situations you help family. No one can judge you for that. I'm so sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me. I am so sorry." No words, just tears. this was beautiful and I love how Kara comforts Lena. Even though Lex is a sworn enemy, she doesn't fault Lena for helping him during that time. Because she knows Lena is good and all she was trying to do was help her "dying" brother. Kara held her close and reminded her of who she truly was. I loved it.

So yeah. those are my favorites. heh.

#anon question #lena luthor #kara danvers #supercorp #kara x lena #I don't know how much more evidence I have to show that they are in love #written in the stars #meant to be

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datvtranscripts · 5 months ago

Text

Signs and Portents Deleted Dialogue

The End of the Beginning: Solas and The Lighthouse

Dialogue is sorted in scene order to the best of my ability.

Signs and Portents Masterpost About Deleted Dialogue

—

Rook: What is this?

Rook: Uh-huh. So what is this? Your final revenge?

Solas: Hardly. Had I the power to hurt you here, you would already be dead.

—

Dialogue options:

Oh crap. (Dive for cover.)

Die, you bastard! (Attack Solas.)

What happened?

Oh crap. Solas: If I were capable of harming you, you would already be dead. Rook: Thanks?

Die, you bastard! Solas: You cannot hurt me either. Rook: Can’t blame me for trying. Where are we, anyway?

What happened? Rook: We were at the ritual site, then you got pulled into that magical… thing… Solas: Yes. The energy of the disrupted ritual pulled me into the Fade. Rook: Did I get pulled in when I wasn’t looking? Solas: No. You were knocked unconscious. In shedding blood at the ritual site, you created a connection I can access to speak with you. Rook: I’m concerned by the phrase “shedding blood.” Solas: You think I might dominate your mind with blood magic? Rook: Well I do now. Solas: Even were I so inclined, from here, I can do little more than to speak with you as your physical body dreams. —

Solas: You cannot hut me here, nor I you.

—

Solas: You disrupted my ritual, and the magical energies pulled me here, into the Fade.

Rook: Oops.

Solas: But you shed blood at the ritual site, enough for me to connect with you while your physical body lies unconscious.

Rook: So, what… you brought me here to attack my mind with blood magic?

Solas: Firstly, I abhor the use of blood magic. Secondly, I can do little more than speak with you from where I am now.

—

Dialogue options:

Then what is this?

Maybe I can hurt you!

I bet that stings.

Then what is this? Rook: Where are we? This looks…

Maybe I can hurt you! Solas: You cannot hurt me either. Rook: Can’t blame me for trying. Where are we, anyway?

I bet that stings. Rook: So, you can’t hurt me. Must be frustrating, given that I just ruined your ritual. Solas: You did far more than that. Rook: Where are we, anyway?

—

Solas: The ancient elven mages, in their power-hungry arrogance, sought not to be obeyed, but to be worshipped. They claimed the magic of the blight, and their corrupted madness would have burned this world to ash, had I not trapped them.

—

Dialogue options:

So you’re the hero.

Are you done?

You talk to much.

So you’re the hero. Rook: Varric says you always cast yourself in the role of the misunderstood hero. Solas: Varric. Varric sees the world as a story. Sometimes I wish I could see the same.

Are you done? Rook: Let me know when you’re finished, all right? Varric says you get pissy if you’re interrupted mid-monologue. Solas: Varric. Varric has also been known to share his stories at length, on occasion.

You talk to much. Rook: Varric says you love the sound of your own damn voice. Solas: Varric. Varric is hardly one to talk.

Scene continues.

Solas: In any case, he must be pleased, as I imagine you are. He has won. My ritual failed, and I am trapped here. You saved your world… at least from me.

Rook: And those things that got out? You said they were gods?

—

Rook: So you’re just going to sit here in the Fade and do nothing?

Solas: What should I do? You stopped me. You imprisoned me here. This is your responsibility.

—

Rook: Varric!

Varric: Hey! Look who’s still with us.

—

Dialogue options:

Are you shitting me?

But we made things worse.

I’m sorry you won’t be there.

Are you shitting me? Rook: So that’s it? Everything goes to shit and you’re leaving me in charge? Varric: Come on, Rook, you knew this could happen when you signed on. Rook: You neve said anything about being your second-in-command would mean you’d throw me to the wolves when things got worse!

But we made things worse.

I’m sorry you won’t be there. Rook: It should be you leading the charge. It won’t be the same without you. Varric: You’ll hardly even notice I’m gone. Even with Bianca’s help, I was never half as good a shot as Harding. Rook: It’s not Bianca we’ll be missing out there, Varric.

—

Varric: Well, of course it did. Nothing ever stays saved in this world, does it?

Rook: This isn’t the time for some sarcastic comment about danger. We need a plan! And a leader!

—

Varric: When I put this team together, what did l look for? A detective to find the Dread Wolf and a scout to get us a lay of the land. Exactly the people he’d expect me to recruit. Highly skilled. Disciplined. Predictable. And then there’s you. On the best day of his life, Solas wouldn’t see you coming, Rook.

Rook: Don’t. Don’t tell me what a great job I did when only one of us walked away from there.

Varric: Rook…

—

Dialogue options:

We have demons now?

Being in the Fade is bad.

This couldn’t get worse.

We have demons now? Rook: So after everything we just did, we still have to fight demons. Varric: Maybe not?

Being in the Fade is bad.

Mourn Watcher Rook: there are very few documented cases of people physically entering the Fade and surviving.

Non-Mourn Watcher Rook: People don’t, generally speaking, just go to the Fade while awake and live. Varric: It can happen. I won’t say it isn’t always weird, though.

This couldn’t get worse. Rook: Wow, there’s literally no was things could get worse, is there? Varric: never say that, Rook. It’s asking for trouble.

—

Harding: There’s no sign of demons. At least so far. Whatever this place is, it seems safe.

Rook: I guess I really should go take a look.

—

Rook: Outside. Got it.

—

Neve: (Sighs) Whatever this place is, we’re secure enough. For now.

Rook: I guess I should have a look around.

—

Rook: She took a walk in the Fade.

—

Varric: Harding, should you be on your feet? Sit down already.

—

Harding: I just—I’ll only be a minute.

—

Varric: Slick, take a break already. You’re making me feel bad.

—

Neve: What I wouldn’t give for an all-night apothecary and some bad coffee right now.

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alicerosejensen · 1 year ago

Note

I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.

If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️

I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.

I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.

There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.

Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.

the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.

If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.

Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.

Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…

Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.

In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.

Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.

This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.

no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.

You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.

But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"

He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.

For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.

You really didn't give him a chance.

The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.

He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.

You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.

“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”

Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.

You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.

On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.

Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.

“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.

Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.

You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.

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