#dav transcripts

[datvtranscripts]

In Peace, Vigilance Pt. 1

First Warden Jowin

Signs and Portents Masterpost Previous: Maevaris Tilani

Rook enters the Cobbled Swan and is greeted by the First Warden.

First Warden: I am Jowin Glastrum, First Warden and Supreme Commander of Weisshaupt. I received word of your team's request for Grey Warden assistance after an incursion of the blight at D'Meta's Crossing.

Origin Dependent Dialogue:

Grey Warden [1]

Antivan Crow [2]

Lord of Fortune [3]

Mourn Watch [4]

Shadow Dragon [5]

Veil Jumper [6]

1 - Grey Warden First Warden: Explain yourself, Warden, and bear in mind that the Order remembers your past recklessness.

Dialogue options:

Affable: Of course, ser. [7]

Sarcastic: Funny you should say that… [8]

Stoic: I saved those villagers! [9]

7 - Affable: Of course, ser. Rook: Sure, I disobeyed orders. I acted on my own choices, without authority. I admit it. But I took an oath to defend people from the blight. I uphold that oath any way I can. First Warden: Your report, Warden. [10]

8 - Sarcastic: Funny you should say that… Rook: My past… right. When I disobeyed orders and dropped a building on a darkspawn horde. I see you haven't forgotten. First Warden: Your report, Junior Warden. [10]

9 - Stoic: I saved those villagers! Rook: Many lives would've been lost if not for my recklessness. First Warden: You destroyed a building. Rook: To seal off a darkspawn tunnel to the surface. First Warden: In defiance of orders. Rook: Those orders were wrong. Ser. First Warden: Your report, Junior Warden. [10]

10 - Scene continues.

Rook: I was part of a team trying to stop an elven mage named Solas from destroying the Veil. When we disrupted his ritual, something escaped from the Fade, and I clearly sensed the corruption of the blight.

First Warden: From this mage, Solas?

Rook: No, ser. Solas opposes the blight. He's actually an elven god, Fen'Harel. The Dread Wolf. [15]

2 - Antivan Crow First Warden: I looked into you. An upstart assassin whose grandstanding against the Antaam attracted too much attention. Sounds brazen, even for an Antivan Crow.

Dialogue options:

Affable: I had to save those people. Rook: Do you know what the Antaam do to prisoners? Those people needed saving and I didn't have time to ask for permission.

Sarcastic: Thanks! Rook: I'll take that as a compliment.

Stoic: Should’ve told me the plan. Rook: I saw a perfect opportunity to ambush the Antaam. Rook: If the Talons wanted me to stick to their plan, they should've told me about it.

First Warden: So, I'm interested in hearing how an Antivan killer-for-hire unleashed the blight. [11]

3 - Lord of Fortune First Warden: Treasure hunters are common as flies, but I've never met one ostracized for killing a Rivaini noble. Your Lords of Fortune leaders apparently didn't appreciate the subsequent political attention.

Dialogue options:

Affable: The man was corrupt. Rook: The man cut a secret deal with the Venatori. He was about to hand them a dangerous relic. I couldn't let that happen. The reports you received from Rivaini diplomats probably left that part out.

Sarcastic: Oh. Maybe I shouldn’t have? Rook: Right. I should've considered the political nightmare before all else. Just let the man unleash an ancient evil and kill my crew.

Stoic: He deserved it. Rook: That rich man deserved what he got. Think what you will, but I don't have to defend my actions to you.

First Warden: Fine. I've little time to waste on the unruly antics of treasure hunters. Tell me how you unleashed the blight. [11]

4 - Mourn Watch First Warden: How does a Mourn Watcher come to be involved with the blight in Arlathan? And not just any Watcher, but a controversial figure after what you pulled during that undead rebellion.

Dialogue options:

Affable: I can explain. Rook: I stopped that rebellion my way to protect the living. Didn't make me popular, but surely a Grey Warden sworn to defend others would understand.

Sarcastic: My past? Controversial? Rook: Right. Talk to the people I saved. They don't call my actions controversial. Some traditional Watchers called my actions "casual destruction of the dead," but they weren't there.

Stoic: Is this relevant? Rook: My decisions regarding our noble dead are hardly relevant here.

Mage Rook: First Warden: Very well. Then I'd like to hear how a Nevarran necromancer unleashed the blight. [11]

Non-Mage Rook: First Warden: Very well. Then tell me how a Nevarran necromancer-apologist unleashed the blight. [11]

5 - Shadow Dragon First Warden: You're a Shadow Dragon, I hear. A criminal organization of Tevinter insurgents. I was not surprised to learn that you are wanted for numerous offences, including theft, murder, and wanton destruction of property.

Dialogue options:

Affable: Criminal? Probably. Rook: When laws are written by the corrupt, it makes criminals of all who fight back.

Sarcastic: Some Wardens are Criminals. Rook: I hear the Grey Wardens take in criminals. Thieves, murderers, and… oh, probably vandals, too. I'd wager I'm in good company.

Stoic: I wrecked a slaver ring. Rook: Theft? You mean rescuing enslaved people. Murder? You mean the Venatori cultists who enslaved those people. First Warden: And destruction of property? Rook: Just felt like it.

First Warden: Fine. All I want to know is how a Minrathous crook unleashed the blight. [11]

6 - Veil Jumper First Warden: I looked into you. An adventurous Veil Jumper best known for discovering, then losing, an invaluable map. I'd imagine that caused a certain resentment among your Veil Jumper superiors.

Dialogue options:

Affable: I saved lives. Rook: The expedition was in trouble. I knew going back to help my fellow Jumpers likely meant losing that map. I wanted that ancient knowledge, but I wouldn't risk lives for it.

Sarcastic: Probably for the best. Rook: It's probably for the best, despite what some senior Veil Jumpers think. What we encountered in those ruins almost killed us all.

Stoic: You’re here about the blight. Rook: That's Veil Jumper business. You're here to talk about Grey Warden business. The blight.

First Warden: Explain to me how a Veil Jumper poking around in elven ruins unleashed the blight. [11]

11 - Scene continues.

Dialogue options:

Affable: Let me explain. [12]

Sarcastic: “Unleashed?” [13]

Stoic: I saved the world from Solas. [14]

12 - Affable: Let me explain. Rook: We've been tracking a mage named Solas. He's actually several thousand years old. In elven mythology, he's known as Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf, god of lies. First Warden: That is a number of titles. Rook: Well, Fen'Harel is elven for "Dread Wolf," so that only counts as one. But yeah, you're not wrong. Anyway, he wanted to tear down the Veil and restore the ancient elven empire. We stopped his ritual. [15]

13 - Sarcastic: “Unleashed?” Rook: I think "unleashed" is a little strong. It was an unfortunate side effect. First Warden: The blight was a side effect? Rook: Yes, of stopping the Dread Wolf, elven god of lies, from destroying the Veil. We did stop him, by the way. You're welcome. [15]

14 - Stoic: I saved the world from Solas. Rook: I was stopping an elven god from bringing down the Veil and destroying the world. First Warden: An elven god? Rook: Fen'Harel, the Dread Wolf. He goes by Solas. He's got a lot of names. [15]

15 - Scene continues.

First Warden: I did not come here to listen to fairy tales. I am here because of the blight.

Dialogue options:

Affable: This is all one problem. [16]

Sarcastic: Hang on, it gets worse. [17]

Stoic: This is real. [18]

16 - Affable: This is all one problem. Rook: Right, but it all ties together! See, when we disrupted the ritual, Solas got trapped in the Fade. But two of the elven gods got out. Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain, we think. And they're blighted.

17 - Sarcastic: Hang on, it gets worse. Rook: We haven't even gotten to the real fairy-tale parts yet. When we stopped Solas, two elven gods escaped from where he'd imprisoned them. Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain. And they're not just evil. They're blighted.

18 - Stoic: This is real. Rook: It's no fairy tale. When we stopped Solas, something got out. According to the Veil Jumpers, it was the elven gods Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain. And they're not just evil. They're blighted.

19 - Scene continues.

First Warden: Why would elven gods be blighted?

Rook: The ancient elven gods used the blight. That's why Solas imprisoned them. The point is that the gods are making the blight worse. D'Meta's Crossing was just the start. That's why we need the Grey Wardens.

First Warden: I suspected more politicking from the remnants of the Inquisition. I see now that I was wrong.

Rook: I'm really glad to hear that.

First Warden: It is clear that whatever you did to unleash the blight has corrupted your already-weak mind.

Rook: Okay, wait.

First Warden: You will be taken to Weisshaupt and placed under heavy guard until the danger you caused by unleashing the blight passes.

Dialogue options:

Stoic: Think again. [20]

Afraid: Please listen to me! [21]

Angry: Just listen, you idiot! [22]

20 - Stoic: Think again. Rook: That's not gonna happen. First Warden: I assure you, it will. Rook: We don't have time to fight. I need Grey Wardens marching with me, not at me. That's the only way we have a chance to stop the gods and the blight.

21 - Afraid: Please listen to me! Rook: No, please, you can't do that. First Warden: I assure you, I can. Rook: I don't know how much time we have! The gods are doing something with the blight—we need to stop them!

22 - Angry: Just listen, you idiot! Rook: Are you kidding me? First Warden: I assure you, I am deadly serious.

Grey Warden Rook: We don't have time to play "Who's the Greyest Warden"!

Non-Grey Warden Rook: I don't have time to sit here and stroke your—ego.

Rook: You need to shut up and listen! The threat is real. The gods are coming, and they're bringing the blight with them.

23 - Scene continues.

First Warden: Let me tell you something about the blight. It is evil, it is implacable, and above all, it is predictable. The blight has not changed in over a thousand years. The Grey Wardens will defeat it, as they always do.

Grey Warden Rook: First Warden: And we will do so without a disgraced junior Warden causing needless confusion.

Non-Grey Warden Rook: First Warden: And we will do so without you causing confusion with your deranged conspiracy theories.

First Warden: I suggest you come along quietly.

Their conversation is suddenly interrupted.

Dorian: Adamant Fortress. 9:41 Dragon. The Grey Wardens attempted to raise an army of demons. Hardly the models of good judgment yourselves, are you?

First Warden: Everyone knows Warden-Commander Clarel acted alone at Adamant Fortress.

Dorian: Acted alone, you say? Imagine if everyone were to see the letter I discovered where you authorize her actions. I wonder how that might complicate the narrative.

First Warden: Are you prepared to risk the security of the Grey Wardens for this deluded boy?

First Warden: Are you prepared to risk the security of the Grey Wardens for this deluded girl?

First Warden: Are you prepared to risk the security of the Grey Wardens over this?

Dorian: You may be surprised to learn that I care very little about the security of the Grey Wardens.

First Warden: Stay away from the blight, and do not pester the Grey Wardens with any more of your nonsense.

the First Warden leaves.

Dorian: He seems upset. Was it something I said?

Dialogue options:

Affable: Thanks for the assist. [24]

Sarcastic: You just blackmailed him! [25]

Stoic: Who are you? [26]

Shadow Dragon: Magister Pavus? [27]

24 - Affable: Thanks for the assist. Rook: That was close. Wasn't looking forward to being dragged off to a Grey Warden dungeon. Who should I be thanking for the assist? Dorian: Magister Dorian Pavus. At your service. [28]

25 - Sarcastic: You just blackmailed him! Rook: You have blackmail material on the leader of the Grey Wardens just lying around? Dorian: Of course not. Where would I obtain something like that? Rook: Oh, you were bluffing. That's actually scarier. Dorian: Magister Dorian Pavus. At your service. [28]

26 - Stoic: Who are you?

Grey Warden Rook: Rook: Who are you? How do you know about Adamant? And Clarel? Dorian: I was there.

Non-Grey Warden Rook: Rook: Who are you? Why do you have dirt on the Grey Wardens? Dorian: I was at Adamant.

Dorian: Magister Dorian Pavus. At your service. [28]

27 - Shadow Dragon: Magister Pavus? Rook: Magister Pavus? Your timing is impeccable. Dorian: A flawless entrance, I'd say. Rook: Thanks for the rescue. I don't think I could've survived a Grey Warden prison. [28]

28 - Scene continues.

Dorian: A mutual friend thought you might require some support.

Rook: Maevaris Tilani? Of the Shadow Dragons?

Dorian: The very same.

29 - Dialogue options:

Investigate: You’re a Shadow Dragon agent? [30]

Sarcastic: I think we made an enemy. [31]

Stoic: The First Warden’s a problem. [32]

Afraid: I need the First Warden. [33]

30 - Investigate: You’re a Shadow Dragon agent?

Shadow Dragon Rook: Rook: I've heard other Shadows talk about you, but your relation to us was never entirely clear to me. You one of us? Or just a powerful ally? Dorian: Ah, that depends on your point of view. Perhaps you've heard of the Lucerni? Rook: Lightbringers. A political faction pushing for change in Tevinter. Dorian: Started by Maevaris and I, yes. After she was framed for treason, the faction was dissolved. Ostensibly. Maevaris Tilani is not a woman who surrenders easily. She just took the Lucerni underground. Rook: Oh. Bring the light. Dorian: She protected me. Kept my name spotless so I could remain in the Magisterium as her eyes and ears. So! One of you? Or just an ally? Which do you think? [Back to 29]

Non-Shadow Dragon Rook: Rook: What's your relation to the Shadow Dragons? Dorian: About a decade ago, Maevaris and I started a political faction called the Lucerni. We were going to change Tevinter for the better. Everyone would recognize the common sense benefits of our approach and we'd all live happily ever after. Rook: I take it that… didn't happen? Dorian: Maevaris was framed, kicked out of the Magisterium, and the Lucerni were dissolved. So she took the movement underground. Rook: The Shadow Dragons. Dorian: Since I still haunt the Magisterium, that makes me the Shadow Dragons' man on the inside. [Back to 29]

31 - Sarcastic: I think we made an enemy. Rook: I think we made an enemy of the First Warden today. Well, more you than me. He just thinks I'm a dangerous idiot. Dorian: (Scoffs) Enemy. I've ignored greater men. [34]

32 - Stoic: The First Warden’s a problem. Rook: The First Warden's a problem. If he won't help, I need him to stay out of my way. Dorian: I'm sure he'll show up again, like an ulcer. For now, pay him no mind. [34]

33 - Afraid: I need the First Warden. Rook: So now what? The First Warden tried to have me locked up. I need the Wardens on my side! Dorian: (Scoffs) Jowin Glastrum is not the Order. He's more politician than Warden. [34]

34 - Scene continues.

Dorian: No Grey Warden worth the name sits in a Minrathous lounge, sipping wine. You need the Wardens? Look for the ones out there fighting the blight. In the meantime, the Shadow Dragons will keep a close watch on the Venatori. Good luck. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon.

The scene fades, and one of Varric’s narratives cuts in.

Varric: Only the Veil stood between us and a world of blighted darkness. But on this side, the gods could only tap a trickle. They had to turn that trickle into a flood. They sure could've used Solas's dagger to rip open the Fade… But some foolish mortal had taken it. So, they'd have to create a dagger of their own. Drowning the world in blight was just a matter of time.

Next: A Familiar Dagger

[cadaveerie]

Here are the transcriptions of the Backstory for Rook's factions in the Character Creator (with the different pronouns available + surnames):

GREY WARDENS

Surname: Thorne

BACKSTORY

Shield Against the Night

When innocent lives were at stake, Rook led the charge, saving a village from a monstrous nightmare--no matter the cost to herself/himself/themselves.

During a large darkspawn incursion, Rook was ordered to hold the line with other Grey Wardens until reinforcements arrived. Rook argued that by then, villagers under attack would be dead. She/He/They disobeyed orders, leading the squad into the incursion and sealing the tunnel to the Deep Roads. This turned the tide, and the darkspawn were driven off, which saved the villagers. Rook's heroism was popular among the younger Wardens, but others with connections to noble families resented her/his/their independent streak. Rook chose to step away while tempers cooled.

VEIL JUMPERS

Surname: Aldwir

BACKSTORY

Hunter of Secrets

When lives were at stake, Rook defied orders to rescue people from the mystic perils of Arlathan.

On an expedition to ruins in Arlathan Forest, the Veil jumpers found ruins that contained important lost lore and deadly danger. Barely surviving the ruins' ancient magical defenses, Rook's small team recovered and invaluable map leading to a hidden area of the forest. Although the team escaped, other Veil Jumpers found themselves trapped. Rook chose to return to the ruins, saving her/his/their teammates' lives, but losing the map. She/He/They was/were lauded for her/his/their bravery, but the map's loss caused some resentment among Veil Jumper leaders.

SHADOW DRAGONS

Surname: Mercar

BACKSTORY

Breaker of Bonds

Rook risked everything to liberate the enslaved people of Tevinter, even knowing it would anger the ruling elite.

The foundling Rook was adopted into a military family and joined the Shadow Dragons to fight from the shadows for change in Minrathous. While guarding a visiting dignitary who was investigating a slavery ring in the nearby city of Nessus, Rook concluded that the mission would fail without throwing caution to the wind. Alone, she/he/they sneaked the dignitary deep into Venatori-controlled zones and brought him back, along with the rescued slaves. These actions brought Rook to the Venatori's attention, and the Shadow Dragons decided to keep Rook out of sight.

LORDS OF FORTUNE

Surname: Laidir

BACKSTORY

Seeker of Gold and Glory

When a corrupt Rivaini noble double-crossed Rook, Rook escaped a collapsing ruin, turned the tables, and destroyed a dangerous artifact.

A rising Lord of Fortune, skilled at breaking into lost tombs and ruins, Rook killed a corrupt Rivaini noble to prevent an ancient evil from being given to the Venatori. Her/His/Their actions were correct and saved the lives of expedition members, but some Rivaini nobles were resentful. Because the success of the Lords' expeditions relied on Rivaini authorities looking the other way, it seemed wise for Rook to step away while tempers settled.

MOURN WATCH

Surname: Ingellvar

BACKSTORY

Defender of the Dead

When restless spirits threatened the inhabitants of the Grand Necropolis, Rook took the decisive action to protect both the living and the dead.

Discovered by undead inside a Grand Necropolis tomb as an infant, Rook was raised by Mourn Watch necromancers, eventually joining the order. During a "civil war" between undead nobility, known later as the War of the Banners, she/he/they led a daring attack on the rebellion's dueling leaders. It was a success, quelling the war and saving lives. But Rook's destruction of these undead nobles was controversial. Some Mourn Watchers feared Rook had offended the order's aristocratic patrons and encouraged her/him/them to travel for a while.

ANTIVAN CROWS

Surname: de Riva

BACKSTORY

Assassin Extraordinaire

When the invaders of Treviso took people captive, Rook was determined to free the prisoners at any cost.

A talented new Crow recently promoted to full membership, Rook chafed at the cautions of her/his/their commanders, especially with her/his/their city occupied by brutal soldiers known as the Antaam. When Rook saw a patrol herding along captives one night, she/he/they leaped into action. Despite saving lives, however, Rook had unknowingly compromised a larger Crow operation against the Antaam. Rook's superiors were incensed. Sidelined for her/his/their actions, the young assassin searched for new ways to prove herself/himself/themselves.

source :)

[bunabi]

he will always choose miscommunication he will never learn and he's not sorry about it god he's so goofy putting him in my pocket

[lavellander]

wrote a “transcription” of two arlathvhen speeches (one after trespasser and one after dav) from my lavellan and my rook aldwir, respectively, and made myself cry lmfao

[daitranscripts]

Hey, I'm sure you get asked this a bunch, but I didn't see it in the FAQ. Are you going to upload the transcripts to the DLCs, especially Trespasser? I've been replaying DAI to get prepared for DAV and your work has been a godsend. Truly, thank you so much!

Hi there! I do plan on transcribing Trespasser (as well as the Descent).

My current goal is to finish the companions, and after that I'll probably hit Trespasser interspersed with other locations in the base game.

I'd like to finish as much major plot-heavy dialogue before DA:V release as I can. I have a slightly lofty goal of finishing the whole game, but the transcripts have almost become my full-time job at this point and completion still seems like a bit of a pipe dream hahahaha

[theunsinkablesappho]

Having replayed the main game of DAI ahead of DAV launch, I went and read through the companion transcripts for the companions I didn't take out much (this time I took mostly Cass, Dorian, and Cole).

And I have to say, I was prepared for Vivienne to hate Sera and Cole. I expected her to hate Dorian.

I was not prepared for how much she fucking HATES Blackwall lol

[kirkwallguy]

i genuinely don't understand the reasoning behind not providing a transcript for the podcast though... like it feels kind of silly given how much of dav's marketing is about inclusivity and accesibility.

[rainbowgaykittenchaos]

Micro-rant bout Dragon Age: The Veilguard w/o major spoilers.

I'll be honest, I love the DA games. I grew up playing them so of course I'm biased, but with all the negative options on DAV, I was worried it would sway my own options, glad to say they didn't.

But I'd like to talk about Bellara.

I've not been quiet about my love for Bellara. I adore all the companions equally, but her? She's my favorite because I can relate to her.

As an older sibling who lost a younger sibling, her story truely sat with me and her first personal quest, Echoes of the Past...

Transcript;

B- So I try and make up for it, Honor him...

B- Maybe when I do, I'll feel it.

R- Feel what?

B- That he forgives me.

That part of hoping the person you lost can forgive, even when you know they can never tell you so. It's admitting that the wound will always be open, that nothing will be good enough of ourselves.

It's harsh, but something I struggled with for nearly 10 years, and honestly, can't even say I've gotten over myself.

So long story short, I truely love her friendship, her story, and her arch, because I've been there, and I am currently there at some points

So if we as Rook will support her through her trauma, someone will support you and me.

Send tweet.

[grey-wardens]

the dav podcast sounds very cool but i really hope transcripts will be available on release or close to it 😭

[duggarsetal]

Transcript of Dav Beal’s Instagram Live

(I know I process information a lot better when reading, so thought it could be useful for others)

Edited a little, since Dav used a lot of “you know”, “um”, “uh” and “basically”

He talks for a while about his music practice, which I’ve included, but the part about Bethany/their marriage/his therapy is bolded, as it’s likely the bit you’ll be most interested

Be warned, it’s a hefty read.

So I’ve been trying to do more music stuff. I really enjoy music. But I’ve found out, or realised recently that I spent a lot of my life just kind of, enjoying things and just doing them as I felt like doing them. Which meant that I didn’t necessarily get really good at any one thing. So, I have piano. I play by ear a little bit. And I can play some ukulele, and I can play some guitar, a little bit. But I’m not great at any one of them. And I can sing a little bit, but I’m not great at singing. So it's interesting because I really don’t want to just be getting by on a tiny level really in these areas. I don’t wanna be doing a little bit of piano, little bit of guitar but never really have skills that can actually be used. Like what if I could actually play really really well. And I could then use those skills, I could take them somewhere, and I could offer that. So, this is one of the things that I’ve been doing more this year. Just taking more time to practise. So I’m practising guitar. I’ve got some  chords right now I’m struggling with. I think it’s D minor. Struggling to transition from G to D minor. Takes me a while. Or basically any chord to D minor. Then my big problem has also been all those rookie noises that you get when you don’t put your finger down the right way. Especially on D. So, it’s getting better; And then I’m practising different [things] - playing with a pick, without a pick.  I got a little membership on guitar tricks for a little while (unintelligible). But that’s just one of the- it’s a matter of finding - both finding the time, but also finding the right path - whether to get a teacher or not, things like that. So with piano I’ll look up a youtube video for example, and then I’ll practise what they’re doing, or what they talk about in the video. So one of them was to try to help break the connection between my hands. So (plays piano using left hand only). There’s one scale on this hand, and then (plays piano using right hand only). Okay, on the other hand. Then putting them together (plays piano with both hands simultaneously). Okay, and then, what the video encourages to do was to, basically, go slower on one hand than the other, so (plays piano with both hands at different tempos). So that would be one of them and then you do that in every key. So (plays piano with both hands at different tempos) and then (continues playing piano with both hands at different tempos). And then with the time, the idea is to become smoother, be able to play to a metronome, and all that stuff. Another one was kind of a jazz… (plays tentatively). Yeah (plays piano). So it was (plays scales to a jazz tempo). And then it’s back the other way (play scales to a jazz tempo). So things like that basically, trying to bring in new finger exercises, because what I’ve found is that if I just treat the instrument like something that I do for pleasure without actually pushing past the little barriers to get better, then I’m just always gonna be roughly at the same level. And the other thing too, is specific songs, or individual songs. Like some of the ones I was playing before. I had to do (play chords on the piano) some songs that I like and so I’ll  try to learn to play those.

Interesting thing about my journey is that I've had a lot of… I’ve had potential. And I've had a lot of people tell me that I have potential. And I've had a lot of people tell me that I'm talented. And that belief that I'm talented has been one of the number one things that has, that I’ve used to keep me back. I’ve basically thought “Oh I can kind of get by without trying very hard because I have ‘talent’.”. But it turns out that's basically just a bunch of BS. It doesn't really exist. At least not for me in that way. There is natural gift, or natural ability, I think. But if you want - I was talking to an animator guy, who has been in the industry for a long time, and says when you’re, really when you get to the top of the animation - field of animation, the top artists, if you say to them, “Oh wow you’re so talented”, that could really come across to them as offensive, because you're basically discounting all the incredible  amounts of hard work that they've put into their craft. And so in the same way, oftentimes, it really is more hard work than talent that's gonna actually get me somewhere in my life. So I am trying to embrace that paradigm shift and pursue improvement in specific targeted areas. 

So the guitar, the piano, my work, which is in the field of motion design. I’ve been working to level up in that field as well, trying to get 3D animation training. For the last three months or so I’ve been taking a course on School of Motion to learn a 3D programme called Cinema 4D. And this has been awesome because, well a couple things, it’s shown me how much I have not really grasped the fundamentals of design. I've done a lot through intuition and kind of seeing, trying to figure out what looks good. But I really haven't had a really strong grasp of fundamentals. Like value, and colour theory, and composition, and lighting, and things like that. So the course has shown me a little bit of where I needed to improve in that, in those fundamentals. But it’s also given me a huge amount of knowledge within, for this particular programme. AndIi think it's revitalising my career in a lot of ways. Giving me this kind of sense where I don't just have to stay at the level that I’m at today. I can dedicate myself, put more time into honing my skills and developing my craft. Because I decided that I don't wanna be the sort of person who just kind of gets by in all the areas. I want to be crushing it, I really do. I want to be crushing it. I'd rather be crushing it than just being mediocre in all things. 

And this is one of the downsides of the ‘nice guy’. As I've read about, from Robert Glover, is that the nice guy - the guy who's always trying to please women, for example, is always trying to get girls to like him, and to really find his sense of self and identity in what other people think, especially females. That guy often never really gets great at anything. He often just stays at this mediocre level. And that’s tragic. It's one of the biggest tragedies, is what he says. It’s one of the biggest tragedies of the life of this guy, is that you have potential, lots of potential, but the ‘nice guys’ - of which I would have put myself in that category, at least up until pretty recently. We have a tendency to really not develop very far in any field. And so, that’s gotta change. So I'm going to. That’s why I’m making these changes, one of the reasons, that I’m doing this in different areas of my life as well. But it’s really important to really get a handle on where are you going? And what are you doing? And this doesn't just apply to guys, this applies to girls too. It’s difficult to to really figure out what to say yes to,and no to when you don't have some sort of mediating principle. Like a life mission or something like that. And your life mission could be as simple as “provide for my family” or “take care of my parents” or whatever. You can find meaning in all kinds of different things and it could be building a career. The life, the mission are - I think that there are better and worse missions that you could have. And there are missions, where your life purposes, that are more helpful to people, to other people than others. But at the same time, I think just having direction, or just having something that's what you're doing, really helps to weed out the distractions from things that you should be about. 

And so this is just one of those mindsets that I've come upon in the last several months. And I really just started to realise that I struggled with, in my life was so others-oriented, I would say. It’s where you make people and their approval the centre of your life, and then you say yes or no to things depending on how much you think saying yes or no will shake up or stabilise those people around which you have chosen to orbit your life. The problem is we can't control those people. I never could control my wife, or my friends. I couldn't control what they thought of me, much less anything else about them. So, what that means you end up basically a no -self. Like you have no identity. All you have is the reflection that you're getting back from other people and it turns out that that's a very difficult way to live . It turns out that it's very resentment prone. If you build your life around getting the reflected sense of yourself from other people, then resentment will probably be skyrocketing because you always offload responsibility onto other people. So if I build my life around Bethany, for example, in a way that, emotionally, I’m orbiting her, and trying to make sure that she’s happy all the time. What that means is that every decision I make, I have the potential to offload onto her,  blame her for the consequences, rather than taking responsibility for myself and my own decisions. 

So, for example, if one day Bethany is in a bad mood, has a bad day, and I try to do things to make her happy, so that she won't be in a bad mood. Before I would often do that, but with a bunch of strings attached - “Once I do this nice thing for her, now she has to be really nice to me”. And she has to basically have the mood that I’ve ‘paid’ for (laughs). If you're having a bad mood, and I’m gonna pay, I’m gonna do this action - not out of unconditional love - I’m gonna do it as a quid pro quo. I do this action - I wash the dishes, or I take care of the kids, or whatever -  and then you won't be in a bad mood, right? And then you'll like me, right? And then we’ll have a good relationship, right? And that’s just not how it works. That can't be how it works. And I realised that, I wouldn't say the hard way, I would say that I got lucky, in the sense that I'm not twenty years into my marriage figuring this out, but it has taken quite a bit of time.  

Another thing that happened is Bethany and I would have these conversations, and they would be so devastating to me (chuckles), She would express something she didn't like, for example. A lot of these conversations had to do, interestingly enough, with her, with celebration. And with the fact that I wasn't celebrating her accomplishments and achievements in a way that was, that would've, that she would've thought was loving. But, in those conversations, rather than taking what shes saying and going “okay, well that, that’s a great perspective”, or forming my own opinion instead, what I would do, in order to alleviate the tension in our relationship, I would take on the weight and the blame of everything, in the conversation. So if she said “you did this  to me” or “you’re uncaring”, or something like that, then I would basically get to this point in the conversation, after arguing for a while, or after trying to ‘reason’, I would get to this point where “you're right, i’m the most selfish”. Cause I could kind of strain to see it from her point of view, and be like “okay she thinks I’m selfish, so I'm going to basically admit that I'm the most selfish, I have all of these problems”, right. And uh (chuckles) what it would, those conversations would end up being devastating for me. And I didn't really know any other way. So the only way out of those very intense conversations was, that I, that I knew, or that I chose, was to basically take on the blame of everything, and then I would kind of keep a lid on my emotions in that conversation. Really, like, just tight and keep the lid on and I wouldn’t lash out in anger. But what I would find is that after the conversation, she'd be better. She feel better emotionally and that I would just, I would kind of be like, “okay, we diverted the storm” or something like that. Then the next day, typically it was the next day, I would just be really devastated, and just having a really rough time of it. I would be thinking back on our conversation, and just a lot of resentment, just be really resenting her for basically putting me in a position where I've had to take the fall in our conversation and that was the pattern.

And so these conversations would happen every couple of months, maybe, and it would just be a really bad one and then it started to get worse and I started to have these suicidal fantasies (laughs). They call it passive suicidal ideation, where you’re not really about to end your life, but you are fantasising about it. And I like the word fantasy, because my fantasy had to do, not really with me feeling so worthless, necessarily - that, that probably was in there somewhere. But what made my fantasy compelling, was how bad Bethany would feel if I were no longer here. And (laughs) I had some moments where the, those suicidal fantasies were more dramatic. And that’s when I decided I needed to do something about this, and so I went and got some therapy. 

Wonderful therapist, he really helped me with a lot of things. One of the things was EMDR, which is eye movement desensitation- densative - uh, Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing - EMDR. But he would, we would sit, I was looking at a computer with him on zoom or whatever and he would hold this wand, and it would go back and forth, and I would follow it with my eyes. And while we did that, I would hold certain memories from childhood  in my mind, and he would lead me through and process some of this stuff. I think of all the things we did together, that was probably the most interesting, and the most beneficial. He was a great therapist. But, near the tail end of that process there was something that kept coming up during those EMDR sessions, and it had to do with me as an adult who has agency, who is not a child. And I think what I realised  through that process is that I had a lot of difficulty disconnecting myself emotionally from my family environment. 

So when I was back at home, at my family’s, before I moved out, a lot of the emotional issues had to do with freedom, had to do with uh, not , hmm… So I basically, my family - in my mind - became a cage. My family were - their being - became a cage. Now, I moved out at twenty, which was probably several years too late, or later than I should’ve. But what kept coming up in the EMDR therapy was just disconnecting from that. Disconnecting from being a child who has no choice, or young person who has the feeling that they are in a cage. And through EMDR I started to latch onto this idea of being an adult, and having agency, and having responsibility, as an alternative to being overwhelmed in interpersonal relationships. So that was one of my biggest takeaways from therapy. 

And then I started to learn about this other concept where, rather than viewing yourself as a wounded child who needs to have a secure attachment in order to be healthy, this other approach was teaching the idea that it isn't really a wounded child, so much, that is having the issues here. It is the adult self that is recreating the patterns of childhood. And what was the interesting, maybe subtle, difference there, is that the adult is recreating relationships that he or she knows. So I was recreating the relationships that I knew. And the operative term there is I was creating. I was reenacting [sound cuts out momentarily] …really encouraging to me, because that also meant that I could stop recreating it. Rather than having to have someone give me my attachment needs, and make me feel securely attached for me to be safe in a secure relationship, I could actually take control, I had the locus of control inside, and I could actually make changes actively, as a grown up and as an adult. 

And so I’ve started doing that, and I've started to treat myself more and more as someone who has agency and has responsibility, and isn't just going to be buried with the emotional states of other people. And, it was really interesting because I can't remember the last time um, Bethany and I had one of those difficult conversations, interestingly enough. It unhooked me from that, and the interesting thing too, is plenty of the time, Bethany will still have something that she still wants different about me, or something that she’s expressing - an area that she thinks I hurt her, or something like that. She’ll still express it in much the same way as she used to, but the thing that has changed is I don't get carried away, and take all the blame for what she's expressing now. I allow her to have her own thoughts, and feel the way she feels, and she has every right to those feelings - and at the same time, I'm not using her as the litmus test, or as the mirror for how well I'm doing. That's the key. I'm not using the person that is my committed emotional relationship to dictate my sense of okay-ness or enough-ness. That has been switching into something that is internal, something that I can reference without anybody else telling me “oh you're doing good” or “you're not doing very good.”. 

Um, so - someone asked “what's your favourite band?”. My favourite band… I don't know. I've been listening to more Johnny Cash. I was never a huge Johnny Cash listener until recently when we were at our, at our new house, preparing to move in, scraping the ceilings and stuff, of all the popcorn, and I was listening to a lot of Johnny Cash, so that would be one of my favourites right now. I really like The Highwaymen, which was Cash and Willie Nelson and two other guys that I forget, or I don't even know their names. 

Why am I telling you this? (laughs) Honestly, I was recording a video to post, a music video, a video of me playing the piano. And I kept recording it again and again and again and again, which is interesting, and it would never - I would always make a mistake and so I decided it might be a lot more interesting and a lot more confronting for me to do a Live, where I have to play piano, or play an instrument without the recourse of being able to rerecord it. So that’s why L decided to do a Live. 

Alright everybody, have a good rest of your day.

[niofo]

reading the transcript again, and sth that's specified is that the companions (except for taash in emmrich) seem to be around 30 (late 20s, early 30s), so i guess there's little chance for like, neve or anyone else to be in their 40s, emmrich's gonna be an outlier in this regard. a bit pity considering in dai we had blackwall, vivienne and solas being in early-mid 40s and then cass, varric and bull in mid-late 30s, i hoped for a similar age bracket in dav.

thinking about the ages of the veilguard companions, i realize i was guessing them all to be some 5 years older than they actually are: emmrich being at least mid 50s, taash 30 and lucanis 40. but also i somehow imagined harding as being the youngest, completely forgetting that 10 years have passed since the inquisition, she's prob in her mid 30s as well.

[datvtranscripts]

Signs and Portents Deleted Dialogue

In Peace, Vigilance

Dialogue is sorted in scene order to the best of my ability.

Signs and Portents Masterpost

—

Elgar'nan: The Dread Wolf's Veil stands fast, bestowing only an echo of the blight's past power.

Ghilan'nain: We must pierce it.

Elgar'nan: But the Dread Wolf's dagger is beyond our reach.

Ghilan'nain: Its re-creation is not. Crystalline. Fatal. We can forge a new instrument to rupture the Veil.

Elgar'nan: And unleash the full blight.

—

Varric: That blighted chunk of lyrium is what started all this. In more ways than one. If I hadn't found it in the Deep Roads…You remember the story. One carved idol of red lyrium made its way to the surface, and all hell broke loose.

Rook: It can't be the same one, can it?

[cockringhoratio]

cant wait to add the sword dating game to the list of media i immediately block people for braindead takes on

[biolizardboils]

Sooooo i wrote up the whole Dog Man Comix thing for r/HobbyDrama! Link to that here, full copied text below. (Note to self: pin this post if it ever starts spreading again)

——————————————————————————————————

Finally done with my first Hobby Scuffle! It’s not a full Drama because I was involved, and it’s not History because it’s been happening on an off for five years now. A special thanks to u/nissincupramen, u/ailathan, and u/Dlight98 for showing interest and giving advice!

(Disclaimer: All profiles linked were public at the time of posting. Please don’t harass anyone involved, they probably don’t remember said involvement anyway.)

[Literature] Dog Man Comix: How a children’s book page fooled the Internet

Dav Pilkey has been making children’s books since 1987, and has earned nearly every award the career can offer (Caldecott, NYT Best Seller List, getting banned for trivial reasons). Captain Underpants, his biggest claim to fame, is informed by his experience of growing up with ADHD and dyslexia in a less-than-accommodating school system. (He’s been very open about this during school visits and interviews—here’s a transcript of one.)

His cheeky commentary on the issue has garnered a following of kids and adults with similar struggles. Sometimes pages from his books will circulate online, causing insightful discussion and laughs aplenty along the way.

And sometimes, they lead to Wil Wheaton (and many, many others) cheering for a kid that doesn’t exist.

But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story…

Chapter 1: Background and Original Post

On March 22nd, 2017, DreamWorks dropped a trailer for Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie. Millennials worldwide exclaimed “Woah, I loved these books and I love how faithful this is to their tone and art style!” Then, “Woah, this series is even better than I remember!” and “Dav wrote 4 more CU books after I grew out of them, and their commentary on how American schooling fails neurodivergent kids is sharper than ever!”

I took part in this moment in history, and it was awesome. It was also the catalyst for the biggest mistake of my life.

20 days later, I saw some of Dav’s more recent outings in a bookstore and read them out of curiosity. One of them was Dog Man, a graphic novel spin-off penned by George and Harold, the young protagonists of Captain Underpants.

The first book (and only the first, for some reason) contains in-universe documents from the boys’ kindergarten days, when they first made comics together. My favorite of these was a refocus form Harold was punished with for copying said comics with a teacher’s printer.

“How will my behavior change in the future?: [sic] be more Quieter When making copies of Dog Man Comix in office.

I am ready to re-join the classroom.: No

Why?: Too busy making Dog Man comix”

I thought it was hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that I had to share it with the growing CU community. So I took a photo and posted it to Tumblr.

Please note how I tagged the post with Captain Underpants, Dog Man, and Harold’s full name. Please note the 200,000+ likes and reblogs, as well.

(cont. in next reply)

Chapter 2: Initial Spread ft. Wil Wheaton

I don’t know how or when the post escaped the CU fandom. My best guess is that someone with way more followers reblogged it without the tags, and thus without the context. All I know is that one day in early May, my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing.

When I checked it, The Post was getting more notes at a faster rate than my blog had ever known before or since. I was delighted to finally be “Tumblr famous”… until I read the comments and tags. Turns out, people thought my photo was of a real form, written by a real kid.

Maybe if I’d edited The Post’s main body and added the context, its spread would’ve stopped then and there. Instead, I commented on it in a way people were guaranteed not to notice and left to do something else.

It hit 3k later that day. The next, it reached 7k. This is when the floodgates truly opened, and I learned the true magnitude of my mistake.

Day in and day out, people were asking where they could find these “Dog Man comix”. Others cheered Harold on for fighting the system, promising to support his future career. I got DM’d under the pretense that I was Harold’s mother.

And if you’re thinking “surely somebody here grew up with Dav’s books and recognized Harold,” you’re correct! Lots of these commenters either deduced Dav’s involvement or found out through Google. (More than one accused me of fooling everyone on purpose.) But for every one of those comments, there were ten more that were oblivious. Even better, some came close but fell just short (i.e. “isn’t this how Dav Pilkey started out lol”; “Someone needs to get this in front of Dav Pilkey stat”). These ones were so funny and frustrating all at once that they’re my favorites to this day.

So why did so many people think the form was real? I’ve had lots of time to ponder this, and I’ve boiled it down to these factors:

People who grew up with CU won’t necessarily know about Dog Man. The eighth and ninth CU books came out six years apart: more than enough time for young readers to grow out of the series or even forget its existence. I know I did before the Movie was announced. Even post-announcement, not everyone hyped for it was guaranteed to look up what Dav’s been up to.

The elements that mark this as something from CU are obscured just enough to pass detection. Harold Hutchins’ fictionality can be confirmed with a Google search, but his last name is initialized on the form. Every teacher in the series has a punny name, but Ms. Construde’s is misspelled here in a way that obscures this. (Not to mention she didn’t appear in the main series, and “misconstrued” isn’t a common word anyway.) Harold’s sketch of Dog Man himself is hard to make out under Construde’s notes.

The book’s pages were shiny, which should’ve been a dead giveaway (nobody laminates refocus forms, AFAIK). However, I took the photo in a dimly-lit bookstore at an angle that minimized the shine to the bottom-right corner.

Finally, refocus forms were kinda upsetting as a kid. Getting your drawings written over in angry red ink was scary, too. I got yelled at more than once for doodling on my notes, and a LOT of people commented with similar stories. Honestly, it’s easy to choose not to research something if its message hooks you in at first sight.

As for how everyone overlooked the red background or the improbability of a kindergartener using a printer… yeah, I got nothin’.

Now, I will admit to leading a few people on, hoping they’d look up the names and realize their error. (Not sure if that ever worked.) But for the most part, I explained things to anyone who asked to see more of Harold’s comix—sometimes in my own words, sometimes with just a photo of the book’s cover. I made a specific tag for these responses and related posts, which is how I’m able to cite so many old comments and accurately track The Post’s growth. (You can read it in chronological order here, if you dare.)

But by then, new comments were coming in so fast that I had no hope of replying to them all. At some point I resigned to simply changing my blog’s description whenever The Post flared up and hoping people would check it. I don’t remember what it said, but I have record of it working exactly once.

Anyway, Wil Wheaton reblogged The Post that September and commented, “Stay strong, Harold.” It had a sizable spike in activity right after, but I didn’t know it was due to him (or even who he was) until a friend alerted me.

By winter, I’d developed a routine. Check The Post. Pray it wouldn’t flare up again. Freak out whenever it did. Change my blog description, maybe pin an explanatory post. Reply to some angry and sad comments, reblog some funny ones. Wait for things to calm down and return to Step 1. The guilt was killing me. I had to come clean with what I’d done, and all the confusion and upset it had caused.

And when you’re dying to confess your sins, you might as well head to the very top.

(cont. in next reply)

Chapter 3: Coming Clean

Snail mail aside, there’s only one way to reach Dav Pilkey and reasonably expect a response: his Instagram. He’s on hiatus at the time of writing, but when the Movie came out, he liked and commented on nearly everything tagged as #captainunderpants. He even filled in minor details about his characters when asked, like their birthdays and middle names, as chronicled here.

No one knew how long this direct line to God would stay open. (He kept going for 3 years, but semantics.) And so, on Christmas Day, I explained myself to him in this admittedly badly formatted post.

He responded that same night. (Here’s me freaking out about it.)

“This is pretty amazing! Would it be okay if we reposted it?”

“@petey_haw_haw Absolutely! Thank you Mr. Pilkey!!”

Nothing ever came of that, AFAIK. Maybe he spoke before consulting his literary agent or something. No hard feelings, though—I’m still just glad he was so chill about it!

The holidays ended on a high note for me that year. Now that the man himself (and maybe his higher-ups at Scholastic) knew about The Post, I thought, maybe the relevant info will get bumped a little higher in Google, and less people will fall for it. Maybe it would even stop spreading altogether!

Chapter 4: To Make A Long Story Short

It didn’t.

Chapter 5: Further Spread

Before we get to The Post’s biggest break, let’s backtrack to a few months earlier. While I was watching the original Tumblr post like a hawk, the photo itself snuck away to infect more websites. First Facebook, then r/pics, Imgur, and…someone’s personal blog, I think? (Sorry for the tiny screencaps, I swear they were bigger when I took them five years ago. Also the ads for Dog Man books in the rightmost photo still kills me.)

Fun fact: I became a Redditor to comment on the photo whenever it got posted here. Besides r/pics (here), it’s popped up on r/me_irl (here), r/funny (here), and… a certain political sub that has since been quarantined and thus can’t be linked to. IIRC, I naively asked that last one to take it down because Scholastic might raise offense. In hindsight, I might’ve dodged a bullet there.

But the worst outbreak was still yet to come…

April 24th, 2021. I was at my day job. When my lunch break rolled around, I checked Twitter and saw that Dog Man was trending.

First I assumed it was about the Michigan cryptid. Then I hoped to God that Dav’s next book was just enjoying a stronger ad campaign than usual. Anything, anything but my photo.

Yeah, it was my photo. Cropped and straightened, but still unmistakably mine. This time it was posted by a family physician with military experience.

I tweeted at him offering to explain things and prove that I was the OP. He never replied. The Tweet itself lost steam less than a day later—possibly due to people’s kids setting the record straight—but not before amassing 18,000+ retweets, 3,500+ QRT’s, and 132,000+ likes. I was terrified the whole time.

This person declared it as “maybe the pinnacle of twitter,” though. I can boast that, at least.

Chapter 6: Conclusion and The Foreseeable Future

The Post hasn’t seen any major activity since April of last year, on Tumblr or elsewhere. Perhaps it’s finally fading into obscurity like it should have long ago.

Speaking of long ago, a recent Tumblr update has made tags and reblogs from 5+ years ago nigh-unviewable. As hard as it was to keep up with them at The Post’s peak, I’m glad I reblogged and screencapped so many when I could.

For all my complaining about The Post ruining my life, I do respect how the response it got exemplified what Dav’s works are about. Many of the people who shared their own school stories added that they were neurodivergent. I’m autistic myself, and school was a constant struggle all the way up to college. I waxed lyrical once that Dav’s jokes about school, “[…] albeit being exaggerated to the point of hilarity, [are] still hauntingly accurate and can strike a chord with readers even long after they’ve outgrown its age demographic”. Seeing that in action for five years straight felt like a curse most days, but if it made any of those commenters feel the slightest bit less alone, I’m willing to call it a blessing.

That being said, I’m still paranoid that said commenters might get wise and hunt me down for fooling them. Specifically in the next few years, because DreamWorks is working on a Dog Man movie. If this account ever goes dark, now you know why.

In the meantime, I shall continue to explain The Post wherever it pops up and contain the beast I unleashed��� however in vain that may be.

TL;DR: Author writes school form from Kid’s POV. I post form without enough context. Hundreds of thousands get upset on Kid’s behalf.

[lichlover]

Okay so this a balance headcanon, and it is technically one I saw in a text post somewhere on tumblr that has been lost to the scroll of my dashboard months and months ago, but. The concept that the reason Barry was on the starblaster in the first place... was because he was some kinda undercover death cultist trying to kickstart the apocalypse... but then it happened and he was like "wait shit this actually sucks" and then has to figure out what to do

please consider donating to my ko-fi!

This was how it was written: Sildar Hallwinter would end the world.

Before his departure, they’d etched his name into the first of the sacred texts; his true name, five syllables destined to strike terror into the hearts of all living beings and their menial existences. It would all perish in the Apocalypse, of course. Everything would. But he and his fellows would ascend in death, as would every record that burned in the Great Blaze of the end times, and the universe would know their history. The true history. The history he would go down in as the Catalyst for the End of All Things, the Second Revelation, the Midnight Prophet for the Last Downfall of Mankind.

The gnome in front of him peered over the angular frames of his spectacles and said, “Barry Bluejeans?”

Sildar Hallwinter had also lost a bet.

But it was no matter, for there was no meager chronicle that would remember him as Barold J. Bluejeans, chief science officer of the IPRE Starblaster. He would be survived only by the destruction set to ravage their world in a matter of months, a Dawning so terrible that it would leave nothing of civilization in its wake. No one would know the name Barry Bluejeans. Everyone would know the name Sildar Hallwinter, and the thought made his stomach knot with such anticipation that he had to collect himself before he could respond.

“That’s me,” he said, and grinned a different man’s grin at the gnome—Captain Davenport of the IPRE, unknowing Chariot to the Catalyst for the End of All Things, the Second Revelation, the Midnight Prophet for the Last Downfall of Mankind. “Reporting for duty.”

Sildar was well accustomed to the dank, ash-streaked tunnels of the Fellowship’s headquarters beneath Ascendant’s Peak, but the IPRE headquarters were sleek and warm, drawing him in with rounded walls and high, arching ceilings. Everywhere he looked, another enormous set of windows opened to the landscape below, as of yet untouched by the Cataclysm Foretold. He wasn’t used to this much natural light, and he certainly wasn’t used to people smiling and waving as they passed. “Another poor soul for the Big One, Dav?” someone called, and the captain waved them off affably.

For an organization completely aware of the end times, and completely unaware of the fact that he, Sildar, would be responsible for their failure, they were all terribly… cheery.

“We’ve already gathered the other crew members,” said the captain, when they came to a halt in front of a nondescript door. “They’re just, uh, through here. We’ll start our first briefing in the next—next half hour, but for now, feel free to socialize. G-Get to know them. We’ll call you when we’re ready.”

“Thanks,” said Sildar, and the captain mumbled something under his breath. “Uh, what was that?”

“Oh,” said the captain. “Nothing.” He turned, and it was only then that Sildar’s brain registered the words; it had sounded almost like good luck.

No matter. Sildar opened the door.

“Incoming!”

Sildar yelped—actually yelped—and ducked aside just as a chair flew over his head and exploded against the wall. A shower of wooden fragments and very magical sparks hit the ground in front of him, and he sputtered, wordless, on the precipice of reaching for his own wand—was this an ambush? Had they discovered the truth of his presence already?

“Oh, shit,” somebody said, and a silhouette appeared through the smoke and magical residue. Sildar caught his breath. Perhaps he was dead, then; perhaps one of the wooden shards had caught him through the heart, and the Avatar of Renewal through Annihilation had come to meet him on the threshold of the afterlife. She looked like divinity, at any rate: tall and elegant, with waves of hair that glittered like finely spun gold and eyes that blazed with the last vestiges of power. Eyes that settled on him, and softened instantly. No, Sildar thought. She couldn’t possibly be the Avatar of Renewal, because she looked kind.

“Shit,” said the divine being again. Her ears twitched downward with concern—an elf, then. “Lucky break, babe. You okay?”

Sildar blinked, and found himself at a loss for words.

“Leave it to you to fuckin’ scare the shit outta the newcomer!” A voice like hers rose through the smoke, and as it cleared, Sildar made out four other bodies, all draped in the ostentatious red of the IPRE and squinting into the gloom. The one who had spoken, another willowy elf with even longer golden locks, lifted a hand in the air and snapped his fingers, and all the smoke dissipated at once. “You had to launch it at the fuckin’ wall, Mags!”

His companion, a human who stood taller than everyone else in the room and looked battle-scarred to the bone despite his youth, gestured indignantly at the aftermath. “But did you see how fucking awesome that was? And that was a whole science experiment! Setup—uh, hypothesis, trials, conclusion?”

“Which is?” The elf unspooled two letters into a long, drawn-out drawl.

“That this room was totally used for magic shit! And now we can do whatever we want in here!”

“Um,” came another voice from the window, and Sildar looked over to see a dark young woman with a head of platinum-bright hair, gazing nervously at the set of admittedly impressive scorch marks over his head. “I think if anything, that proves we shouldn’t do what we want in here.”

“Agree to disagree,” said “Mags,” with undue confidence.

“That’s—but that’s not what science is—”

The final figure in the room, a portly dwarf with flowers woven into his beard, shook his head and clicked his tongue. “Look at the impression you just made,” he said. “Going around, trying to kill people you just met—what kind of monsters do something like that?”

The divine being made a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a sigh and pushed a few loose strands of hair off her face. “You must be the chief science officer,” she said, and stuck out a hand. “Sorry for the accidental attempted murder. I’m Lup.”

Lup.

“I’m,” said Sildar. “Uh.”

This time she really did laugh—a lyrical, full-bodied sound that he felt deep in his chest. “Tell me we didn’t just knock your name outta your head.”

“Oh, no, it’s, uh—” Lup. She looked at him with a smile so resplendent he had to catch his breath all over again. What did she know of Sildar Hallwinter, the Catalyst for the End of All Things, the Second Revelation, the Midnight Prophet for the Last Downfall of Mankind? What did she know of anything beyond all the light she cast in every direction?

“I’m, uh, Barry,” he said. “Barry J. Bluejeans.”

.

Here are some things Sildar Hallwinter learns about Barry J. Bluejeans:

He has a penchant for getting into character. Maybe that’s more Sildar than Barry, but there’s something so intoxicating about the drama of it all, especially when no one else knows he’s playing a role. Barry is a bit of a thespian, if he does say so himself.

That said, he’s sort of awkward. More of Sildar’s influence. When you’ve spent your whole life preparing to fulfill your divine purpose in the End of All Things, it’s a little hard to adjust to things like game night and brunch.

He’s smart. Really smart. The Fellowship hadn’t really encouraged science—everything else came second to the teachings of the Apocalypse—but not only is Barry-slash-Sildar naturally inclined for it, he actually enjoys it.

He can’t swim. Sildar can, and rather enjoys it, but it’s a little bit of flavor text he can’t resist.

He’s not half bad at making friends.

The crew of the Starblaster were, of course, a means to an end, and he would develop no meaningful relationship with any of them beyond what was necessary to keep up appearances. That was his mandate, at least. But it was hard. Much harder than he’d expected, really. And despite himself, he—Barry—found it all to easy to laugh at the dwarf Merle’s gods-awful jokes and stay up late to hear Captain Davenport recount tales of grandeur. He let himself be roped into more magic-powered “experiments” (in the loosest sense of the word) with the human fighter, Magnus, who actually seemed to enjoy death-defying stunts with the zeal of someone from the Fellowship. He got to know the soft-spoken but brilliant archivist, Lucretia, and her remarkably meticulous transcriptions. On one particularly reckless night, he joined the long-haired elf Taako on a quest to fill a particularly uppity supervisor’s pockets full of pudding.

And as the Appointed Hour approached, Barry found himself spending late nights in the IPRE labs with Lup, testing and recording speculations on arcane theory and downing enough coffee to drive them to hysterics by dawn. They were all a little nervous, a little sad, a little desperate to sort their affairs before takeoff, but Lup tackled new problems with the kind of determination that demanded solutions. She was the most ingenious person Barry had ever met. And when she sat back from an arcane reaction gone wrong, her hairline blackened with soot and grinning like a caffeine-tripped maniac, he thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

This was how it was until the Apocalypse arrived.

Barry woke the morning of with a planet-shattering hangover.

He crawled to the mirror and squinted blearily into the glass; thanks to the IPRE’s constant offerings of complimentary coffee and cake and Taako’s singlehanded banquets, he’d put on weight over the last several months, and he’d started to love the gentle resilience his body had gained. Sildar was clean-shaven and angular, but Barry was soft and stubbly. A few nights before, Lup’s gaze had caught on his chin, and she’d told him how nice he looked with a five o’clock shadow.

He’d thought she was joking, but that was just how she was—kind.

He went to his closet and started to mull over which shirt to wear.

The day was dark and still, the sky an unbroken slate grey, and it was just what the sacred texts had imagined: not a living thing stirred for miles beyond the horizon. Even the grass beneath Barry’s feet, as he followed Davenport to the Starblaster’s gangway, had turned an off-color, metallic shade. They said their goodbyes to the Institute, and to the enormous crowd at starboard, and in the eerie light they all looked like corpses risen from the grave. There was something hanging over their heads that felt nothing like the terrible glory the Fellowship had promised; instead it was unsettled, and sickly, and wrong.

Barry swallowed the knot gathering rapidly in his throat and followed his crew up the gangway. There was but one thing left for him to do now—him, Sildar Hallwinter, the Catalyst for the End of All Things, the Second Revelation, the Midnight Prophet for the Last Downfall of Mankind. And then the Hour would be upon them at last.

He left the others on the bridge and walked to the Bond Engine.

The explosives tucked inside his robe were light, and branded with the sigil of the Fellowship, although no one would be able to tell in the ensuing destruction. It was certain to be localized, of course; they were meant to damage the engine and nothing more. He could never deprive himself—or anyone else, for that matter—the opportunity to witness the Terror as it began its First Assault on the world of the living. No one knew quite what it would look like, or how it would feel, but the Fellowship had promised a beautiful ascendancy for all its members. And now Sildar would seal his fate. He would seal everyone’s fate.

“Barold!”

Sildar fumbled an explosive, and it was almost the last thing he ever did. He whirled around, and there was Taako, waving him over from the bottom of the staircase. “What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” said Barry, faintly. “Why?”

“Cap’n’port wants everybody on the bridge for the launch.” He flapped his arm at the bridge, looming above them against a wall of indiscernible storm clouds. “C’mon!”

“Uh,” Barry said. Suddenly the explosives weighed too heavily in his robe. “In a sec!”

“He means now, Barry! This storm ain’t lookin’ too good!”

No, no, no. Not yet.

But I don’t want—

What does it matter what you want?

Sildar Hallwinter gripped the hem of his pocket.

And Barry Bluejeans whispered a disarming spell, followed by a shrinking charm. Three marbles branded with the sigil of the High Fellowship of the Great Prophecy for the First Revelation rattled in his pocket as he jogged toward Taako and the bridge.

They escaped by the skin of their teeth. Sildar Hallwinter watched his world consumed by a force so uncaring, so unfeeling, that it couldn’t possibly be the Herald of Rebirth for All Things. He watched it rip everything apart—the IPRE headquarters where he’d met his crew, the ice cream parlor he’d braved with Magnus and Lucretia, the farmer’s market where Taako had taught him the difference between parsley and basil, the enormous lake Davenport had taken them sailing on for a weekend, the small garden Merle had kept just outside their dorms. 

The horizon, where he’d watched the sun set with Lup.

In the space between planes, Sildar Hallwinter was unmade. And when the threads of his body settled back into place, he caught his breath and thought, Never again.

This was how it was written: Barry J. Bluejeans would save the world.

[jesuisgourde]

Anyone know what on earth this little snippet of writing is from? It’s on page 3 of Fragility Of Openness, and it looks like Peter’s writing style. It’s covered up by some photos and the printed lyrics to Jail Guitar Doors by The Clash. Is it maybe something from the forum that didn’t survive to make it to the doc on upthealbion?

Transcript, because it’s a small image:

*****Mythical Syllables Head Office: Eternity This one goes out to all the b[...] militants aswell as all the militan[...] forgetting of course, the wordsmiths[...] about cover everyone. Excepting Dav[...] the planet, on a chemical wave - the[...] the indigo vortex. If anyone sees, hear[...] Ask for the Heavy Horse.