#dav transcripts

[datvtranscripts]

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FAQ - Please Read! Current priority order: Main quests, companion quests, then side quests.

▸ Companions ▸ Locations

Main Quests:

Signs and Portents Pt. 1 - Complete Signs and Portents Pt. 2 - Complete The Price of the Past ▸ Current Quest: After the Storm (3/27/2025) The Wrath of Ages

Other Projects:

@da2transcripts - in progress (hiatus) @daitranscripts - main quests, dlc, and companions complete!

Like what I do? Buy me a coffee!

[cadaveerie]

Here are the transcriptions of the Backstory for Rook's factions in the Character Creator (with the different pronouns available + surnames):

GREY WARDENS

Surname: Thorne

BACKSTORY

Shield Against the Night

When innocent lives were at stake, Rook led the charge, saving a village from a monstrous nightmare--no matter the cost to herself/himself/themselves.

During a large darkspawn incursion, Rook was ordered to hold the line with other Grey Wardens until reinforcements arrived. Rook argued that by then, villagers under attack would be dead. She/He/They disobeyed orders, leading the squad into the incursion and sealing the tunnel to the Deep Roads. This turned the tide, and the darkspawn were driven off, which saved the villagers. Rook's heroism was popular among the younger Wardens, but others with connections to noble families resented her/his/their independent streak. Rook chose to step away while tempers cooled.

VEIL JUMPERS

Surname: Aldwir

BACKSTORY

Hunter of Secrets

When lives were at stake, Rook defied orders to rescue people from the mystic perils of Arlathan.

On an expedition to ruins in Arlathan Forest, the Veil jumpers found ruins that contained important lost lore and deadly danger. Barely surviving the ruins' ancient magical defenses, Rook's small team recovered and invaluable map leading to a hidden area of the forest. Although the team escaped, other Veil Jumpers found themselves trapped. Rook chose to return to the ruins, saving her/his/their teammates' lives, but losing the map. She/He/They was/were lauded for her/his/their bravery, but the map's loss caused some resentment among Veil Jumper leaders.

SHADOW DRAGONS

Surname: Mercar

BACKSTORY

Breaker of Bonds

Rook risked everything to liberate the enslaved people of Tevinter, even knowing it would anger the ruling elite.

The foundling Rook was adopted into a military family and joined the Shadow Dragons to fight from the shadows for change in Minrathous. While guarding a visiting dignitary who was investigating a slavery ring in the nearby city of Nessus, Rook concluded that the mission would fail without throwing caution to the wind. Alone, she/he/they sneaked the dignitary deep into Venatori-controlled zones and brought him back, along with the rescued slaves. These actions brought Rook to the Venatori's attention, and the Shadow Dragons decided to keep Rook out of sight.

LORDS OF FORTUNE

Surname: Laidir

BACKSTORY

Seeker of Gold and Glory

When a corrupt Rivaini noble double-crossed Rook, Rook escaped a collapsing ruin, turned the tables, and destroyed a dangerous artifact.

A rising Lord of Fortune, skilled at breaking into lost tombs and ruins, Rook killed a corrupt Rivaini noble to prevent an ancient evil from being given to the Venatori. Her/His/Their actions were correct and saved the lives of expedition members, but some Rivaini nobles were resentful. Because the success of the Lords' expeditions relied on Rivaini authorities looking the other way, it seemed wise for Rook to step away while tempers settled.

MOURN WATCH

Surname: Ingellvar

BACKSTORY

Defender of the Dead

When restless spirits threatened the inhabitants of the Grand Necropolis, Rook took the decisive action to protect both the living and the dead.

Discovered by undead inside a Grand Necropolis tomb as an infant, Rook was raised by Mourn Watch necromancers, eventually joining the order. During a "civil war" between undead nobility, known later as the War of the Banners, she/he/they led a daring attack on the rebellion's dueling leaders. It was a success, quelling the war and saving lives. But Rook's destruction of these undead nobles was controversial. Some Mourn Watchers feared Rook had offended the order's aristocratic patrons and encouraged her/him/them to travel for a while.

ANTIVAN CROWS

Surname: de Riva

BACKSTORY

Assassin Extraordinaire

When the invaders of Treviso took people captive, Rook was determined to free the prisoners at any cost.

A talented new Crow recently promoted to full membership, Rook chafed at the cautions of her/his/their commanders, especially with her/his/their city occupied by brutal soldiers known as the Antaam. When Rook saw a patrol herding along captives one night, she/he/they leaped into action. Despite saving lives, however, Rook had unknowingly compromised a larger Crow operation against the Antaam. Rook's superiors were incensed. Sidelined for her/his/their actions, the young assassin searched for new ways to prove herself/himself/themselves.

source :)

[bunabi]

he will always choose miscommunication he will never learn and he's not sorry about it god he's so goofy putting him in my pocket

[lavellander]

wrote a “transcription” of two arlathvhen speeches (one after trespasser and one after dav) from my lavellan and my rook aldwir, respectively, and made myself cry lmfao

[daitranscripts]

Hey, I'm sure you get asked this a bunch, but I didn't see it in the FAQ. Are you going to upload the transcripts to the DLCs, especially Trespasser? I've been replaying DAI to get prepared for DAV and your work has been a godsend. Truly, thank you so much!

Hi there! I do plan on transcribing Trespasser (as well as the Descent).

My current goal is to finish the companions, and after that I'll probably hit Trespasser interspersed with other locations in the base game.

I'd like to finish as much major plot-heavy dialogue before DA:V release as I can. I have a slightly lofty goal of finishing the whole game, but the transcripts have almost become my full-time job at this point and completion still seems like a bit of a pipe dream hahahaha

[theunsinkablesappho]

Having replayed the main game of DAI ahead of DAV launch, I went and read through the companion transcripts for the companions I didn't take out much (this time I took mostly Cass, Dorian, and Cole).

And I have to say, I was prepared for Vivienne to hate Sera and Cole. I expected her to hate Dorian.

I was not prepared for how much she fucking HATES Blackwall lol

[kirkwallguy]

i genuinely don't understand the reasoning behind not providing a transcript for the podcast though... like it feels kind of silly given how much of dav's marketing is about inclusivity and accesibility.

[rainbowgaykittenchaos]

Micro-rant bout Dragon Age: The Veilguard w/o major spoilers.

I'll be honest, I love the DA games. I grew up playing them so of course I'm biased, but with all the negative options on DAV, I was worried it would sway my own options, glad to say they didn't.

But I'd like to talk about Bellara.

I've not been quiet about my love for Bellara. I adore all the companions equally, but her? She's my favorite because I can relate to her.

As an older sibling who lost a younger sibling, her story truely sat with me and her first personal quest, Echoes of the Past...

Transcript;

B- So I try and make up for it, Honor him...

B- Maybe when I do, I'll feel it.

R- Feel what?

B- That he forgives me.

That part of hoping the person you lost can forgive, even when you know they can never tell you so. It's admitting that the wound will always be open, that nothing will be good enough of ourselves.

It's harsh, but something I struggled with for nearly 10 years, and honestly, can't even say I've gotten over myself.

So long story short, I truely love her friendship, her story, and her arch, because I've been there, and I am currently there at some points

So if we as Rook will support her through her trauma, someone will support you and me.

Send tweet.

[grey-wardens]

the dav podcast sounds very cool but i really hope transcripts will be available on release or close to it 😭

[niofo]

reading the transcript again, and sth that's specified is that the companions (except for taash in emmrich) seem to be around 30 (late 20s, early 30s), so i guess there's little chance for like, neve or anyone else to be in their 40s, emmrich's gonna be an outlier in this regard. a bit pity considering in dai we had blackwall, vivienne and solas being in early-mid 40s and then cass, varric and bull in mid-late 30s, i hoped for a similar age bracket in dav.

thinking about the ages of the veilguard companions, i realize i was guessing them all to be some 5 years older than they actually are: emmrich being at least mid 50s, taash 30 and lucanis 40. but also i somehow imagined harding as being the youngest, completely forgetting that 10 years have passed since the inquisition, she's prob in her mid 30s as well.

[datvtranscripts]

The Price of the Past Deleted Dialogue

After the Storm: Talk to Solas

The Price of the Past Masterpost About Deleted Dialogue

—

Solas: I wondered when you would return. The fall of Weisshaupt reverberated across the Fade some time ago, as did the fall of an Archdemon. But unless I am mistaken, both Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain yet stand.

Saved Minrathous: Rook: Treviso got blighted because I was busy driving off the blighted dragon in Minrathous. I couldn't be in two places at once.

Saved Treviso: Rook: Minrathous fell to the Venatori because I was driving off the blighted dragon in Treviso. I couldn't be in two places at once.

Rook: But at Weisshaupt, we got there in time. The Archdemon was down. I had a dragon hunter, a mage-killing assassin, and the Grey Wardens. And even then, we couldn't kill Ghilan'nain.

I’ll worry about that later” Solas: You once told me that the consequences of your battle would be a problem for "Future Rook."

”Whatever they want.” Solas: You once told me that you would accept whatever consequences came from your battle.

“It won’t be that bad.” Solas: You once told me that you would stop the gods without getting "thousands of innocent people killed."

Dialogue options:

Affable: We made progress. [1]

Sarcastic (Worry about that later): Thanks, past Rook. [2]

Sarcastic (Whatever they want): It’s a lot to accept. [3]

Sarcastic (It won’t be that bad): I guess? [4]

Stoic: That’s still true. [5]

Angry: This is your fault! [6]

Afraid: I need some support. [7]

Sad: Don’t mock me, okay? [8]

1 - Affable: We made progress. Rook: I'd hoped we'd take down Ghilan'nain, but we did kill her Archdemon. That's a good start.

Grey Warden Rook: Solas: "A good start." I wonder if your fellow Wardens would agree.

Solas: Does this truly feel like even a partial victory, or does something uncomfortable lurk behind that easy smile?

Dialogue options:

I need to seem confident. [9]

I’m trying to believe. [10]

No, but being sad won’t help. [11]

9 - I need to seem confident. Rook: No, of course it doesn't feel like victory. But that's what leadership is. It's putting your own feelings aside so the team doesn't collapse. Solas: And what is so dangerous that the mere sight of it would destroy your team? Rook: That I was wrong. Davrin, Lucanis, all of them… I convinced them to join. I told them we could win. And right now, it feels like I lied to them. Solas: There it is. The grief of having not lived up to the trust that others placed in you. It is a pain worse than any Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain could inflict, and if you let it, it can help you. Rook: How? [31] 10 - I’m trying to believe. Rook: It has to feel like a partial victory. If it doesn't… We lost a lot of Grey Wardens. We lost Weisshaupt. If we lost all of that, and I didn't accomplish anything? Solas: Then what? Rook: Then there's no way I can win. I should just start running now. But I can't. I have to keep acting like there's some way to win. And that's… terrifying. Solas: Good. There it is. The fear. You finally see the consequences. You know the stakes. That fear, the terror of what you face now, can help you, if you let it. Rook: How does admitting I'm terrified help? [31] 11 - No, but being sad won’t help. Rook: How do you think I feel? But the team needs me to look like I know what I'm doing. Solas: And what do you need? Rook: I need a break! I need one damn thing to go right for once! Solas: Because you deserve it? Rook: Because I can't do this! But if I don't, nobody will. So I've gotta keep banging my head against this wall like an idiot hoping for a miracle! Solas: There it is. The anger. The frustration at having failed. Properly channeled, that rage can flare hot enough to burn away any impurities. Rook: Fine! I'm angry! How does that help? [31]

2 - Thanks, past Rook. Rook: Sounds like something Past Rook would say. [They're] kind of an asshole. [12]

3 - I guess? Rook: Weisshaupt could've fallen without us killing Ghilan'nain's Archdemon. That would technically be worse. Solas: Technically. [12]

4 - It’s a lot to accept. Rook: I was thinking I'd be accepting hurt feelings, not a whole fortress falling to darkspawn. Solas: Sometimes the hurt feelings are worse. [12]

12 - Scene continues. Solas: (Chuckles) You use humor a great deal.

Solas: "The elven god of sarcasm."

Solas: "This is the reason nobody likes you."

Solas: "Killing an Archdemon is the easy part."

Solas: Is all of this really so amusing, or is that wit the blade with which you keep less comfortable feelings at bay? Dialogue options:

It’s that or cry. [13]

It’s that or panic. [14]

It’s that or rage. [15]

13 - It’s that or cry. Rook: I'm doing the best I can to hold it together. Sometimes that means stupid jokes. Solas: And when those fail? Rook: Then I probably start ugly-sobbing. Snotty nose, blotchy face, the whole deal. Solas: Why? You are no stranger to death. You have seen warriors fall in battle before. Rook: But I've never been in charge. And this time…

Punched the First Warden: Rook: I punched the First Warden in the face and made everybody listen to me.

Reasoned with the First Warden: Rook: I got the First Warden to listen. I got him to believe in me.

Rook: And then I… I couldn't get it done. I failed. And Weisshaupt fell. Solas: There it is. The grief of having not lived up to the trust that others placed in you. It is a pain worse than any Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain could inflict, and if you let it, it can help you. Rook: How? [31] 14 - It’s that or panic. Rook: Well, I don't think uncontrollable screaming is gonna help anything, and that's the only other option. Solas: Uncontrollable screaming at what? Rook: I had a legendary assassin, a dragon hunter, and an army of Grey Wardens, and we still failed! I still failed. People keep asking me what we do now, and I have no idea. And that is… terrifying. Solas: Good. There it is. The fear. You finally see the consequences. You know the stakes. That fear, the terror of what you face now, can help you, if you let it. Rook: How does admitting I'm terrified help? [31] 15 - It’s that or rage. Rook: Yeah, there's a pretty good chance the jokes are how I cope. Solas: And beneath those jokes? Rook: Why does that matter? Would me yelling right now help anything? Solas: It might help you know who you are. Rook: The whole world is gonna know who I am! They're gonna make statues of me! "In honor of Rook: [They] almost saved Weisshaupt!" Solas: There it is. The anger. The frustration at having failed. Properly channeled, that rage can flare hot enough to burn away any impurities. Rook: Fine! I'm angry! How does that help? [31]

5 - Stoic: That’s still true. Rook: And I stand by that. Solas: Truly? You watched a fortress fall and Wardens die, and it touches nothing within you?

Solas: I expect that you call it professionalism.

Solas: No hesitation. "We stopped you. We'll stop them."

Solas: No concern. Just targets. "Any other surprises we should know about?"

Solas: What are you so desperate to avoid feeling?

Dialogue options:

Numb. [16]

Terror. [17]

Fucking Furious. [18]

16 - Numb. Rook: Nothing. Solas: So no fear, no anger, lurks beneath the surface? Rook: No, I mean… I try to think about what I'm feeling, and I just… there's nothing there. If I think about what happened at Weisshaupt, I just… stop. Like I could go to sleep and never wake up. And I can't afford to do that. Solas: Why not? Rook: Because I let everyone down once already. I can't do it again. Solas: There it is. The grief of having not lived up to the trust that others placed in you. It is a pain worse than any Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain could inflict, and if you let it, it can help you. Rook: How? [31] 17 - Terror. Rook: Ghilan'nain was so much worse than anything I expected. She's a god. And don't give me that "Evanuris" crap. You can turn people to stone with your eyes! Solas: Yes, and yet I wield far less power than Ghilan'nain or Elgar'nan. Rook: The world is going to end up a blighted wasteland unless I stop them, and… I don't think I can. Solas: Good. There it is. The fear. You finally see the consequences. You know the stakes. That fear, the terror of what you face now, can help you, if you let it. Rook: How does admitting I'm terrified help? [31] 18 - Fucking Furious. Rook: I am so fucking tired of being the one who has to do this while the rest of the world ignores the problem! Tevinter and the Antaam would rather fight each other!

Punched the First Warden: Rook: The Grey Wardens wouldn't listen until I punched their leader in the face and took over!

Reasoned with the First Warden: Rook: The First Warden wouldn't listen until the enemy was stomping all over his courtyard!

I can't do this alone! I need people to shut up and do what I tell them for once, or I'm going to fail again! Solas: There it is. The anger. The frustration at having failed. Properly channeled, that rage can flare hot enough to burn away any impurities. Rook: Fine! I'm angry! How does that help? [31]

6 - Sad: Don’t mock me, okay? Rook: Whatever your big trickster-god lesson is, could we just… not? Solas: Why not? What makes this time different? Rook: Weisshaupt? Solas: You have seen death before.

Dialogue options:

I let the team down. [19]

I was in command. [20]

This time broke me. [21]

19 - I let the team down. Rook: I went to Weisshaupt to stop the gods… with a team of people I'd recruited. Davrin, Lucanis, all of them… I convinced them to join. I told them we could win. And right now, it feels like I lied to them. [22] 20 - I was in command. Rook: But I've never been in charge. And this time…

Punched the First Warden: Rook: I punched the First Warden in the face and made everybody listen to me.

Reasoned with the First Warden: Rook: I got the First Warden to listen. I got him to believe in me.

Rook: And then I… I couldn't get it done. I failed. And Weisshaupt fell. [22] 21 - This time broke me. Rook: This time, I feel… nothing. Solas: And still you hide your feelings. Rook: No, I mean… I try to think about what I'm feeling, and I just… there's nothing there. If I think about what happened at Weisshaupt, I just… stop. Like I could go to sleep and never wake up. And I can't afford to do that. Solas: Why not? Rook: Because I let everyone down once already. I can't do it again. [22] 22 - Scene continues. Solas: There it is. The grief of having not lived up to the trust that others placed in you. It is a pain worse than any Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain could inflict, and if you let it, it can help you. Rook: How? [31]

7 - Afraid: I need some support. Rook: Could you be hopeful Solas instead of smug Solas right now? I don't need you to convince me how bad things are, okay? I get it. I really, really get it. Solas: You have finally met the Evanuris in battle.

I have to act confident. [23]

And I’m in charge. [24]

They’re too powerful! [25]

23 - I have to act confident. Rook: Yeah, we met the gods, and now I have to act like we're not completely screwed and this was a good step forward. Solas: Why? Rook: We lost a lot of Grey Wardens. We lost Weisshaupt. If we lost all of that, and I didn't accomplish anything? Solas: Then what? Rook: Then there's no way I can win. I should just start running now. But I can't. I have to keep acting like there's some way to win. And that's… terrifying. [26] 24 - And I’m in charge. Rook: And somehow, I'm supposed to go up against them again, and everyone is looking to me for a plan. Solas: The plan will come. Once you have marshaled your forces… Rook: I had a legendary assassin, a dragon hunter, and an army of Grey Wardens, and we still failed! I still failed. People keep asking me what we do now, and I have no idea. And that is… terrifying. [26] 25 - They’re too powerful! Rook: Yeah, and it turns out that when you're fighting a god, terror is a perfectly rational feeling! And don't give me that "Evanuris" crap. You can turn people to stone with your eyes! Solas: Yes, and yet I wield far less power than Ghilan'nain or Elgar'nan. Rook: The world is going to end up a blighted wasteland unless I stop them, and… I don't think I can. [26] 26 - Scene continues. Solas: Good. There it is. The fear. You finally see the consequences. You know the stakes. That fear, the terror of what you face now, can help you, if you let it. Rook: How does admitting I'm terrified help? [31]

8 - Angry: This is your fault! Rook: No. You don't get to come in here all superior. A whole lot of people just died, and that's on you! Solas: I have made many mistakes, but I did not free Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain. Rook: Fine. Whatever. Solas: No. This is important, Rook. Your fury is real, but you can only defeat it if you identify its source. Who are you truly angry at?

Dialogue options:

Everyone! [27]

Ugh. Myself! [28]

Bad Luck? [29]

27 - Everyone! Rook: I'm trying to save the world, and everybody's kicking me in the shins while I'm doing it! Tevinter and the Antaam would rather fight each other!

Punched the First Warden: Rook: The Grey Wardens wouldn't listen until I punched their leader in the face and took over!

Reasoned with the First Warden: Rook: The First Warden wouldn't listen until the enemy was stomping all over his courtyard!

I can't do this alone! I need people to shut up and do what I tell them for once, or I'm going to fail again! [30] 28 - Ugh. Myself! Rook: I know who I'm angry at. It doesn't matter. Solas: Of course it matters. You must learn who you are. Rook: The whole world is gonna know who I am! They're gonna make statues of me! "In honor of Rook: [They] almost saved Weisshaupt!" [30] 29- Bad Luck? Rook: I don't know! Fate, luck, something! This whole mission has been one disaster after another. Solas: And how would luck help you? What is it that you need? Rook: I need a break! I need one damn thing to go right for once! Solas: Because you deserve it? Rook: Because I can't do this! But if I don't, nobody will. So I've gotta keep banging my head against this wall like an idiot hoping for a miracle! [30] 30 - Scene continues. Solas: There it is. The anger. The frustration at having failed. Properly channeled, that rage can flare hot enough to burn away any impurities. Rook: Fine! I'm angry! How does that help? [31]

31 - Scene continues.

Solas: There are those who hold their emotions at a distance to avoid the sting of failure. To defeat Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain, there can be no distance. You must be committed.

Rook: What, you think we failed because I didn't want it enough?

Solas: I cannot say. But you chose this battle, and in so doing, you chose these consequences.

Solas: Regret is the price we pay for acting when no one else will. Without regret, we would not be driven to correct our mistakes, to improve. To get it right.

Dialogue options:

I’ll get it right. [32]

I don’t want to feel this. [33]

I’m not here for this shit. [34]

32 - I’ll get it right. Rook: Next time, we won't miss. Solas: I believe you. And I believe that if you listen to me, then Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain will fall. [35]

33 - I don’t want to feel this. Rook: It still hurts. Solas: I have lived thousands of years and made countless mistakes. It always hurts. If you listen to that feeling, perhaps you may never need to feel it again so keenly. [35]

34 - I’m not here for this shit. Rook: I didn't come here for your philosophical bullshit. I came for help! Solas: What did you think my help would look like? I cannot promise that our talks will be easy. All I can promise is that if you listen to me, Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain will fall. [35]

35 - Scene continues.

Solas: And while your grief is valid, the situation is not as dire as it seems.

Solas: And while your fear is valid, the situation is not as dire as it seems.

Solas: And while your frustration is valid, the situation is not as dire as it seems.

Solas: You have slain an Archdemon, a feat only a few have accomplished over the centuries. Ghilan'nain is now mortal. If you can find her and catch her unprepared, you can kill her.

Rook: So how do I find her?

Solas: Your team has ties to organizations with connections you lack. The Shadow Dragons in Minrathous, the Veil Jumpers in Arlathan, and so on. Strengthening your team will strengthen those groups. Prove your value as an ally, and they will give you the openings you seek.

Rook: Okay. I'll see what I can do.

Solas: Good. And Rook… I am sorry for the necessity of this lesson.

Dialogue options:

No, I appreciate it. [36]

It’s not wholly unexpected. [37]

Whatever. Goodbye. [38]

36 - No, I appreciate it. Rook: You don't have to apologize. I know you're trying to help, so… thanks. Solas: Don't. Don't thank me. Our talk today will lead to Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain falling, but it is not a kindness.

37 - It’s not wholly unexpected. Rook: You talk with the Dread Wolf, you gotta be prepared to bleed a little. Solas: A painful assessment, but more than fair, especially today. If I knew some other way to prepare you for what lies ahead, I would do so. Good luck.

38 - Whatever. Goodbye. Rook: We're done here. I'll talk to you when I know something. Solas: Of course. Then I will simply wish you good luck.

[biolizardboils]

Sooooo i wrote up the whole Dog Man Comix thing for r/HobbyDrama! Link to that here, full copied text below. (Note to self: pin this post if it ever starts spreading again)

——————————————————————————————————

Finally done with my first Hobby Scuffle! It’s not a full Drama because I was involved, and it’s not History because it’s been happening on an off for five years now. A special thanks to u/nissincupramen, u/ailathan, and u/Dlight98 for showing interest and giving advice!

(Disclaimer: All profiles linked were public at the time of posting. Please don’t harass anyone involved, they probably don’t remember said involvement anyway.)

[Literature] Dog Man Comix: How a children’s book page fooled the Internet

Dav Pilkey has been making children’s books since 1987, and has earned nearly every award the career can offer (Caldecott, NYT Best Seller List, getting banned for trivial reasons). Captain Underpants, his biggest claim to fame, is informed by his experience of growing up with ADHD and dyslexia in a less-than-accommodating school system. (He’s been very open about this during school visits and interviews—here’s a transcript of one.)

His cheeky commentary on the issue has garnered a following of kids and adults with similar struggles. Sometimes pages from his books will circulate online, causing insightful discussion and laughs aplenty along the way.

And sometimes, they lead to Wil Wheaton (and many, many others) cheering for a kid that doesn’t exist.

But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story…

Chapter 1: Background and Original Post

On March 22nd, 2017, DreamWorks dropped a trailer for Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie. Millennials worldwide exclaimed “Woah, I loved these books and I love how faithful this is to their tone and art style!” Then, “Woah, this series is even better than I remember!” and “Dav wrote 4 more CU books after I grew out of them, and their commentary on how American schooling fails neurodivergent kids is sharper than ever!”

I took part in this moment in history, and it was awesome. It was also the catalyst for the biggest mistake of my life.

20 days later, I saw some of Dav’s more recent outings in a bookstore and read them out of curiosity. One of them was Dog Man, a graphic novel spin-off penned by George and Harold, the young protagonists of Captain Underpants.

The first book (and only the first, for some reason) contains in-universe documents from the boys’ kindergarten days, when they first made comics together. My favorite of these was a refocus form Harold was punished with for copying said comics with a teacher’s printer.

“How will my behavior change in the future?: [sic] be more Quieter When making copies of Dog Man Comix in office.

I am ready to re-join the classroom.: No

Why?: Too busy making Dog Man comix”

I thought it was hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that I had to share it with the growing CU community. So I took a photo and posted it to Tumblr.

Please note how I tagged the post with Captain Underpants, Dog Man, and Harold’s full name. Please note the 200,000+ likes and reblogs, as well.

(cont. in next reply)

Chapter 2: Initial Spread ft. Wil Wheaton

I don’t know how or when the post escaped the CU fandom. My best guess is that someone with way more followers reblogged it without the tags, and thus without the context. All I know is that one day in early May, my phone wouldn’t stop buzzing.

When I checked it, The Post was getting more notes at a faster rate than my blog had ever known before or since. I was delighted to finally be “Tumblr famous”… until I read the comments and tags. Turns out, people thought my photo was of a real form, written by a real kid.

Maybe if I’d edited The Post’s main body and added the context, its spread would’ve stopped then and there. Instead, I commented on it in a way people were guaranteed not to notice and left to do something else.

It hit 3k later that day. The next, it reached 7k. This is when the floodgates truly opened, and I learned the true magnitude of my mistake.

Day in and day out, people were asking where they could find these “Dog Man comix”. Others cheered Harold on for fighting the system, promising to support his future career. I got DM’d under the pretense that I was Harold’s mother.

And if you’re thinking “surely somebody here grew up with Dav’s books and recognized Harold,” you’re correct! Lots of these commenters either deduced Dav’s involvement or found out through Google. (More than one accused me of fooling everyone on purpose.) But for every one of those comments, there were ten more that were oblivious. Even better, some came close but fell just short (i.e. “isn’t this how Dav Pilkey started out lol”; “Someone needs to get this in front of Dav Pilkey stat”). These ones were so funny and frustrating all at once that they’re my favorites to this day.

So why did so many people think the form was real? I’ve had lots of time to ponder this, and I’ve boiled it down to these factors:

People who grew up with CU won’t necessarily know about Dog Man. The eighth and ninth CU books came out six years apart: more than enough time for young readers to grow out of the series or even forget its existence. I know I did before the Movie was announced. Even post-announcement, not everyone hyped for it was guaranteed to look up what Dav’s been up to.

The elements that mark this as something from CU are obscured just enough to pass detection. Harold Hutchins’ fictionality can be confirmed with a Google search, but his last name is initialized on the form. Every teacher in the series has a punny name, but Ms. Construde’s is misspelled here in a way that obscures this. (Not to mention she didn’t appear in the main series, and “misconstrued” isn’t a common word anyway.) Harold’s sketch of Dog Man himself is hard to make out under Construde’s notes.

The book’s pages were shiny, which should’ve been a dead giveaway (nobody laminates refocus forms, AFAIK). However, I took the photo in a dimly-lit bookstore at an angle that minimized the shine to the bottom-right corner.

Finally, refocus forms were kinda upsetting as a kid. Getting your drawings written over in angry red ink was scary, too. I got yelled at more than once for doodling on my notes, and a LOT of people commented with similar stories. Honestly, it’s easy to choose not to research something if its message hooks you in at first sight.

As for how everyone overlooked the red background or the improbability of a kindergartener using a printer… yeah, I got nothin’.

Now, I will admit to leading a few people on, hoping they’d look up the names and realize their error. (Not sure if that ever worked.) But for the most part, I explained things to anyone who asked to see more of Harold’s comix—sometimes in my own words, sometimes with just a photo of the book’s cover. I made a specific tag for these responses and related posts, which is how I’m able to cite so many old comments and accurately track The Post’s growth. (You can read it in chronological order here, if you dare.)

But by then, new comments were coming in so fast that I had no hope of replying to them all. At some point I resigned to simply changing my blog’s description whenever The Post flared up and hoping people would check it. I don’t remember what it said, but I have record of it working exactly once.

Anyway, Wil Wheaton reblogged The Post that September and commented, “Stay strong, Harold.” It had a sizable spike in activity right after, but I didn’t know it was due to him (or even who he was) until a friend alerted me.

By winter, I’d developed a routine. Check The Post. Pray it wouldn’t flare up again. Freak out whenever it did. Change my blog description, maybe pin an explanatory post. Reply to some angry and sad comments, reblog some funny ones. Wait for things to calm down and return to Step 1. The guilt was killing me. I had to come clean with what I’d done, and all the confusion and upset it had caused.

And when you’re dying to confess your sins, you might as well head to the very top.

(cont. in next reply)

Chapter 3: Coming Clean

Snail mail aside, there’s only one way to reach Dav Pilkey and reasonably expect a response: his Instagram. He’s on hiatus at the time of writing, but when the Movie came out, he liked and commented on nearly everything tagged as #captainunderpants. He even filled in minor details about his characters when asked, like their birthdays and middle names, as chronicled here.

No one knew how long this direct line to God would stay open. (He kept going for 3 years, but semantics.) And so, on Christmas Day, I explained myself to him in this admittedly badly formatted post.

He responded that same night. (Here’s me freaking out about it.)

“This is pretty amazing! Would it be okay if we reposted it?”

“@petey_haw_haw Absolutely! Thank you Mr. Pilkey!!”

Nothing ever came of that, AFAIK. Maybe he spoke before consulting his literary agent or something. No hard feelings, though—I’m still just glad he was so chill about it!

The holidays ended on a high note for me that year. Now that the man himself (and maybe his higher-ups at Scholastic) knew about The Post, I thought, maybe the relevant info will get bumped a little higher in Google, and less people will fall for it. Maybe it would even stop spreading altogether!

Chapter 4: To Make A Long Story Short

It didn’t.

Chapter 5: Further Spread

Before we get to The Post’s biggest break, let’s backtrack to a few months earlier. While I was watching the original Tumblr post like a hawk, the photo itself snuck away to infect more websites. First Facebook, then r/pics, Imgur, and…someone’s personal blog, I think? (Sorry for the tiny screencaps, I swear they were bigger when I took them five years ago. Also the ads for Dog Man books in the rightmost photo still kills me.)

Fun fact: I became a Redditor to comment on the photo whenever it got posted here. Besides r/pics (here), it’s popped up on r/me_irl (here), r/funny (here), and… a certain political sub that has since been quarantined and thus can’t be linked to. IIRC, I naively asked that last one to take it down because Scholastic might raise offense. In hindsight, I might’ve dodged a bullet there.

But the worst outbreak was still yet to come…

April 24th, 2021. I was at my day job. When my lunch break rolled around, I checked Twitter and saw that Dog Man was trending.

First I assumed it was about the Michigan cryptid. Then I hoped to God that Dav’s next book was just enjoying a stronger ad campaign than usual. Anything, anything but my photo.

Yeah, it was my photo. Cropped and straightened, but still unmistakably mine. This time it was posted by a family physician with military experience.

I tweeted at him offering to explain things and prove that I was the OP. He never replied. The Tweet itself lost steam less than a day later—possibly due to people’s kids setting the record straight—but not before amassing 18,000+ retweets, 3,500+ QRT’s, and 132,000+ likes. I was terrified the whole time.

This person declared it as “maybe the pinnacle of twitter,” though. I can boast that, at least.

Chapter 6: Conclusion and The Foreseeable Future

The Post hasn’t seen any major activity since April of last year, on Tumblr or elsewhere. Perhaps it’s finally fading into obscurity like it should have long ago.

Speaking of long ago, a recent Tumblr update has made tags and reblogs from 5+ years ago nigh-unviewable. As hard as it was to keep up with them at The Post’s peak, I’m glad I reblogged and screencapped so many when I could.

For all my complaining about The Post ruining my life, I do respect how the response it got exemplified what Dav’s works are about. Many of the people who shared their own school stories added that they were neurodivergent. I’m autistic myself, and school was a constant struggle all the way up to college. I waxed lyrical once that Dav’s jokes about school, “[…] albeit being exaggerated to the point of hilarity, [are] still hauntingly accurate and can strike a chord with readers even long after they’ve outgrown its age demographic”. Seeing that in action for five years straight felt like a curse most days, but if it made any of those commenters feel the slightest bit less alone, I’m willing to call it a blessing.

That being said, I’m still paranoid that said commenters might get wise and hunt me down for fooling them. Specifically in the next few years, because DreamWorks is working on a Dog Man movie. If this account ever goes dark, now you know why.

In the meantime, I shall continue to explain The Post wherever it pops up and contain the beast I unleashed… however in vain that may be.

TL;DR: Author writes school form from Kid’s POV. I post form without enough context. Hundreds of thousands get upset on Kid’s behalf.

[lichlover]

Okay so this a balance headcanon, and it is technically one I saw in a text post somewhere on tumblr that has been lost to the scroll of my dashboard months and months ago, but. The concept that the reason Barry was on the starblaster in the first place... was because he was some kinda undercover death cultist trying to kickstart the apocalypse... but then it happened and he was like "wait shit this actually sucks" and then has to figure out what to do

please consider donating to my ko-fi!

This was how it was written: Sildar Hallwinter would end the world.

Before his departure, they’d etched his name into the first of the sacred texts; his true name, five syllables destined to strike terror into the hearts of all living beings and their menial existences. It would all perish in the Apocalypse, of course. Everything would. But he and his fellows would ascend in death, as would every record that burned in the Great Blaze of the end times, and the universe would know their history. The true history. The history he would go down in as the Catalyst for the End of All Things, the Second Revelation, the Midnight Prophet for the Last Downfall of Mankind.

The gnome in front of him peered over the angular frames of his spectacles and said, “Barry Bluejeans?”

Sildar Hallwinter had also lost a bet.

But it was no matter, for there was no meager chronicle that would remember him as Barold J. Bluejeans, chief science officer of the IPRE Starblaster. He would be survived only by the destruction set to ravage their world in a matter of months, a Dawning so terrible that it would leave nothing of civilization in its wake. No one would know the name Barry Bluejeans. Everyone would know the name Sildar Hallwinter, and the thought made his stomach knot with such anticipation that he had to collect himself before he could respond.

“That’s me,” he said, and grinned a different man’s grin at the gnome—Captain Davenport of the IPRE, unknowing Chariot to the Catalyst for the End of All Things, the Second Revelation, the Midnight Prophet for the Last Downfall of Mankind. “Reporting for duty.”

Sildar was well accustomed to the dank, ash-streaked tunnels of the Fellowship’s headquarters beneath Ascendant’s Peak, but the IPRE headquarters were sleek and warm, drawing him in with rounded walls and high, arching ceilings. Everywhere he looked, another enormous set of windows opened to the landscape below, as of yet untouched by the Cataclysm Foretold. He wasn’t used to this much natural light, and he certainly wasn’t used to people smiling and waving as they passed. “Another poor soul for the Big One, Dav?” someone called, and the captain waved them off affably.

For an organization completely aware of the end times, and completely unaware of the fact that he, Sildar, would be responsible for their failure, they were all terribly… cheery.

“We’ve already gathered the other crew members,” said the captain, when they came to a halt in front of a nondescript door. “They’re just, uh, through here. We’ll start our first briefing in the next—next half hour, but for now, feel free to socialize. G-Get to know them. We’ll call you when we’re ready.”

“Thanks,” said Sildar, and the captain mumbled something under his breath. “Uh, what was that?”

“Oh,” said the captain. “Nothing.” He turned, and it was only then that Sildar’s brain registered the words; it had sounded almost like good luck.

No matter. Sildar opened the door.

“Incoming!”

Sildar yelped—actually yelped—and ducked aside just as a chair flew over his head and exploded against the wall. A shower of wooden fragments and very magical sparks hit the ground in front of him, and he sputtered, wordless, on the precipice of reaching for his own wand—was this an ambush? Had they discovered the truth of his presence already?

“Oh, shit,” somebody said, and a silhouette appeared through the smoke and magical residue. Sildar caught his breath. Perhaps he was dead, then; perhaps one of the wooden shards had caught him through the heart, and the Avatar of Renewal through Annihilation had come to meet him on the threshold of the afterlife. She looked like divinity, at any rate: tall and elegant, with waves of hair that glittered like finely spun gold and eyes that blazed with the last vestiges of power. Eyes that settled on him, and softened instantly. No, Sildar thought. She couldn’t possibly be the Avatar of Renewal, because she looked kind.

“Shit,” said the divine being again. Her ears twitched downward with concern—an elf, then. “Lucky break, babe. You okay?”

Sildar blinked, and found himself at a loss for words.

“Leave it to you to fuckin’ scare the shit outta the newcomer!” A voice like hers rose through the smoke, and as it cleared, Sildar made out four other bodies, all draped in the ostentatious red of the IPRE and squinting into the gloom. The one who had spoken, another willowy elf with even longer golden locks, lifted a hand in the air and snapped his fingers, and all the smoke dissipated at once. “You had to launch it at the fuckin’ wall, Mags!”

His companion, a human who stood taller than everyone else in the room and looked battle-scarred to the bone despite his youth, gestured indignantly at the aftermath. “But did you see how fucking awesome that was? And that was a whole science experiment! Setup—uh, hypothesis, trials, conclusion?”

“Which is?” The elf unspooled two letters into a long, drawn-out drawl.

“That this room was totally used for magic shit! And now we can do whatever we want in here!”

“Um,” came another voice from the window, and Sildar looked over to see a dark young woman with a head of platinum-bright hair, gazing nervously at the set of admittedly impressive scorch marks over his head. “I think if anything, that proves we shouldn’t do what we want in here.”

“Agree to disagree,” said “Mags,” with undue confidence.

“That’s—but that’s not what science is—”

The final figure in the room, a portly dwarf with flowers woven into his beard, shook his head and clicked his tongue. “Look at the impression you just made,” he said. “Going around, trying to kill people you just met—what kind of monsters do something like that?”

The divine being made a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a sigh and pushed a few loose strands of hair off her face. “You must be the chief science officer,” she said, and stuck out a hand. “Sorry for the accidental attempted murder. I’m Lup.”

Lup.

“I’m,” said Sildar. “Uh.”

This time she really did laugh—a lyrical, full-bodied sound that he felt deep in his chest. “Tell me we didn’t just knock your name outta your head.”

“Oh, no, it’s, uh—” Lup. She looked at him with a smile so resplendent he had to catch his breath all over again. What did she know of Sildar Hallwinter, the Catalyst for the End of All Things, the Second Revelation, the Midnight Prophet for the Last Downfall of Mankind? What did she know of anything beyond all the light she cast in every direction?

“I’m, uh, Barry,” he said. “Barry J. Bluejeans.”

.

Here are some things Sildar Hallwinter learns about Barry J. Bluejeans:

He has a penchant for getting into character. Maybe that’s more Sildar than Barry, but there’s something so intoxicating about the drama of it all, especially when no one else knows he’s playing a role. Barry is a bit of a thespian, if he does say so himself.

That said, he’s sort of awkward. More of Sildar’s influence. When you’ve spent your whole life preparing to fulfill your divine purpose in the End of All Things, it’s a little hard to adjust to things like game night and brunch.

He’s smart. Really smart. The Fellowship hadn’t really encouraged science—everything else came second to the teachings of the Apocalypse—but not only is Barry-slash-Sildar naturally inclined for it, he actually enjoys it.

He can’t swim. Sildar can, and rather enjoys it, but it’s a little bit of flavor text he can’t resist.

He’s not half bad at making friends.

The crew of the Starblaster were, of course, a means to an end, and he would develop no meaningful relationship with any of them beyond what was necessary to keep up appearances. That was his mandate, at least. But it was hard. Much harder than he’d expected, really. And despite himself, he—Barry—found it all to easy to laugh at the dwarf Merle’s gods-awful jokes and stay up late to hear Captain Davenport recount tales of grandeur. He let himself be roped into more magic-powered “experiments” (in the loosest sense of the word) with the human fighter, Magnus, who actually seemed to enjoy death-defying stunts with the zeal of someone from the Fellowship. He got to know the soft-spoken but brilliant archivist, Lucretia, and her remarkably meticulous transcriptions. On one particularly reckless night, he joined the long-haired elf Taako on a quest to fill a particularly uppity supervisor’s pockets full of pudding.

And as the Appointed Hour approached, Barry found himself spending late nights in the IPRE labs with Lup, testing and recording speculations on arcane theory and downing enough coffee to drive them to hysterics by dawn. They were all a little nervous, a little sad, a little desperate to sort their affairs before takeoff, but Lup tackled new problems with the kind of determination that demanded solutions. She was the most ingenious person Barry had ever met. And when she sat back from an arcane reaction gone wrong, her hairline blackened with soot and grinning like a caffeine-tripped maniac, he thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

This was how it was until the Apocalypse arrived.

Barry woke the morning of with a planet-shattering hangover.

He crawled to the mirror and squinted blearily into the glass; thanks to the IPRE’s constant offerings of complimentary coffee and cake and Taako’s singlehanded banquets, he’d put on weight over the last several months, and he’d started to love the gentle resilience his body had gained. Sildar was clean-shaven and angular, but Barry was soft and stubbly. A few nights before, Lup’s gaze had caught on his chin, and she’d told him how nice he looked with a five o’clock shadow.

He’d thought she was joking, but that was just how she was—kind.

He went to his closet and started to mull over which shirt to wear.

The day was dark and still, the sky an unbroken slate grey, and it was just what the sacred texts had imagined: not a living thing stirred for miles beyond the horizon. Even the grass beneath Barry’s feet, as he followed Davenport to the Starblaster’s gangway, had turned an off-color, metallic shade. They said their goodbyes to the Institute, and to the enormous crowd at starboard, and in the eerie light they all looked like corpses risen from the grave. There was something hanging over their heads that felt nothing like the terrible glory the Fellowship had promised; instead it was unsettled, and sickly, and wrong.

Barry swallowed the knot gathering rapidly in his throat and followed his crew up the gangway. There was but one thing left for him to do now—him, Sildar Hallwinter, the Catalyst for the End of All Things, the Second Revelation, the Midnight Prophet for the Last Downfall of Mankind. And then the Hour would be upon them at last.

He left the others on the bridge and walked to the Bond Engine.

The explosives tucked inside his robe were light, and branded with the sigil of the Fellowship, although no one would be able to tell in the ensuing destruction. It was certain to be localized, of course; they were meant to damage the engine and nothing more. He could never deprive himself—or anyone else, for that matter—the opportunity to witness the Terror as it began its First Assault on the world of the living. No one knew quite what it would look like, or how it would feel, but the Fellowship had promised a beautiful ascendancy for all its members. And now Sildar would seal his fate. He would seal everyone’s fate.

“Barold!”

Sildar fumbled an explosive, and it was almost the last thing he ever did. He whirled around, and there was Taako, waving him over from the bottom of the staircase. “What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” said Barry, faintly. “Why?”

“Cap’n’port wants everybody on the bridge for the launch.” He flapped his arm at the bridge, looming above them against a wall of indiscernible storm clouds. “C’mon!”

“Uh,” Barry said. Suddenly the explosives weighed too heavily in his robe. “In a sec!”

“He means now, Barry! This storm ain’t lookin’ too good!”

No, no, no. Not yet.

But I don’t want—

What does it matter what you want?

Sildar Hallwinter gripped the hem of his pocket.

And Barry Bluejeans whispered a disarming spell, followed by a shrinking charm. Three marbles branded with the sigil of the High Fellowship of the Great Prophecy for the First Revelation rattled in his pocket as he jogged toward Taako and the bridge.

They escaped by the skin of their teeth. Sildar Hallwinter watched his world consumed by a force so uncaring, so unfeeling, that it couldn’t possibly be the Herald of Rebirth for All Things. He watched it rip everything apart—the IPRE headquarters where he’d met his crew, the ice cream parlor he’d braved with Magnus and Lucretia, the farmer’s market where Taako had taught him the difference between parsley and basil, the enormous lake Davenport had taken them sailing on for a weekend, the small garden Merle had kept just outside their dorms. 

The horizon, where he’d watched the sun set with Lup.

In the space between planes, Sildar Hallwinter was unmade. And when the threads of his body settled back into place, he caught his breath and thought, Never again.

This was how it was written: Barry J. Bluejeans would save the world.

[jesuisgourde]

Anyone know what on earth this little snippet of writing is from? It’s on page 3 of Fragility Of Openness, and it looks like Peter’s writing style. It’s covered up by some photos and the printed lyrics to Jail Guitar Doors by The Clash. Is it maybe something from the forum that didn’t survive to make it to the doc on upthealbion?

Transcript, because it’s a small image:

*****Mythical Syllables Head Office: Eternity This one goes out to all the b[...] militants aswell as all the militan[...] forgetting of course, the wordsmiths[...] about cover everyone. Excepting Dav[...] the planet, on a chemical wave - the[...] the indigo vortex. If anyone sees, hear[...] Ask for the Heavy Horse.

[dailyaudiobible]

05/06/2021 DAB Transcript

Ruth 2:1-4:22, John 4:43-54, Psalms 105:16-36, Proverbs 14:26-27

Today is the 6th day of May welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is great to be here with you at this beautiful time of the year here in the rolling hills of Tennessee. Whether rain or shine it's just a beautiful…yeah…when the seasons transition it’s just a beautiful month. It gets hot here. That's coming. That's how summer is but it’s a beautiful time of year and I trust that it is lovely no matter where you are. And if it's not lovely, we…we have this place, this little oasis around this Global Campfire where there’s always peace. And we can always come here and exhale, right, and just breathe and let the Scriptures wash into our lives. And, so, let's move in that direction. We’re reading from the New International Version this week. We concluded the book of Judges yesterday and turned a page and entered into the book of Ruth, which is where we find ourselves situated today. And it…it's a shorter…it's a shorter book. So, we began it yesterday. We’ll conclude it today. Ruth chapters 2, 3, and 4.

Commentary:

Okay. So, we concluded the book of Ruth today. And yes, a breath of fresh air. What a beautiful ending to a story that was really a very very bitter story in the first place. It’s a story a famine in the land. And we've seen famine in the land of Canaan before, right? That's how the children of Israel, those first-generation children of Jacob ended up in Egypt because there was famine in the land. And Joseph had gone before and there was provision. So, there's famine in the land again and in this case a family, the Elimelek family, they have to go to Moab and the sons of Naomi and Elimelek, they had Moabite wives. Now, Moab basically is on the other side of the Dead Sea. Moab is sort of the territory of modern-day Jordan. In centuries past when the children of Israel were kind of wandering around the wilderness, we remember stories with Moab, like the story of Ballam, sent to curse them and he couldn't. He could only bless them, right, with king Balak. So, there's some history here. Ruth is a Moabite woman who will not leave her Hebrew mother-in-law. I mean on the one hand, it's a noble thing at all to stay with your mother-in-law but she's leaving her country. She's leaving her family. She's leaving her people. She's telling Naomi that “wherever you go, I will go. Your God will be my God. Where you die, I will die. Like your people will be my people.” So, Ruth is, in so many ways, putting her in her life in Naomi's hands because they do go back to her people and she does have to find a way to…to eat. So, she does have to go and…and basically glean from the leftovers anything that she can. And we see this provision is made in the Levitical law, this provision for the foreigners among you, right, the orphans and the widows…like a way for people to still find food. And, so, she's doing this and that's when Boaz comes onto the scene and doesn't take too long before Naomi recognizes what's going on here and what could go on here and how this could be a…this could provide for Ruth because Ruth’s gonna outlive Naomi. And, so, she needs this kind of covering and this kind of protection because she's a foreign woman. So, she mothers Ruth. Naomi mothers Ruth and mentors Ruth and shows her the way to signify to Boaz that she…that she's available. And she guides her through this process with dignity, right? She's not like, “okay Ruth, here's what you do. Boaz is a little bit older. You can seduce him. You’re a younger woman. So, when he has little to drink after the harvest or whatever then you find out where he went to sleep and then you go teach them the ways of the world girl.” That’s just…that…that's not what happened. She signified by laying at his feet. He woke up and responded with dignity and character - the entire process. We see like something finally is through and through done with character and uprightness. And, so, Ruth and Boaz are appropriately married and she has a son, which changes the whole complexion of Naomi's bitter life into joy and brings a child to an elderly father in Boaz and the reputation of Ruth only grows as a faithful, committed, dignified, valiant woman. And as the story goes, as we’re told when we get the genealogy at the very very end, we find that Ruth and Boaz are the great-grandparents of a man who would become king of Israel, David, king David, the author of so many of the Psalms whose story we have not come to yet but we’re about to before too long. And, so, let's just let this story sink into our hearts and minds as we meditate upon it for…well…for as long as we think about it. Character matters. Faithfulness to God matters. Wisdom matters. There is a way to live with honor and when we do tragedy has a way of working itself out. And although weeping may last a night the joy comes in the morning.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for bringing us to this point where we can read the story of Ruth as we continue to just experience the changing of the seasons. And we ask Holy Spirit, come plant the Scriptures into the depths of our lives so that they can speak to our very identity transforming us, showing us the path ahead. Come Holy Spirit we pray in the name of Jesus. Into all this we pray. Amen.

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If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if this mission that we…that we are all a part of to bring the spoken word of God read fresh every day and given freely to anyone who will listen to it anywhere on this planet any time of day or night and to build community around that rhythm so that we know that we’re not alone, we’re not alone on the endeavor to move through the Bible and read every paragraph and sentence and word of it but we’re also not alone on the journey through a year of life together. And it makes all the difference as so many of us can attest to. And if that has made a difference in your life than thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi, everyone it's Lisa the Encourager. I'm calling to let you all know that I lost my daddy this past Thursday April 29th. And I'm very blessed because I had a wonderful dad, and he was a Christian man and he raised us, all my brothers and sisters up in the Lord and taught us. He was a wonderful example for all of us and I'm so thankful for that. I know everyone doesn't have that. And he had some health concerns and he's overcome a lot over the years. He was 85 and I was blessed to be with him at the time he passed and could look right in his eyes and tell him how much I loved him. And I knew that at that moment he transitioned and was able to be in the open arms of our Savior. And that's a true blessing for me. Although it's been very difficult and I've been very sad, like I said I'm very grateful that I had that opportunity to have a wonderful father. And through this I just want to continue to pray for two of my brothers that have walked away from their beliefs. And I just would ask for your prayers for their Salvation or the reassurance or knowing and knowledge and acceptance of the Lord Jesus Christ. Their names are Daryl and Shane. And I would just pray that you would pray with me for their salvation and renewed faith through this time of our funeral services for our dad or just in life in general. If you could pray for their Salvation, I would greatly appreciate it and just that we’ll have peace as we have the funeral. My mom is transitioning with…

DABber family, this is the Burning Bush that will not be Devoured for the Glory of our God and King. I just got off the phone with family in Chad, central Africa. There is a war there. The president got killed in battle. They’re stranded in the capital city. The borders are closed and so are the airports. Can you please pray. I'm not sure I understood exactly what's going on, but I heard that Boko Haram was also in the mix with the fighting. And this is a Christian family. I pray for all the believers out there, just all the citizens, the innocent people. God, I pray for protection in Jesus’ name. And God I pray for peace in Chad. Oh my God, yeah….

Good morning DAV family this is David from Texas. Ultimately, I just wanted to call in and thank you guys because this is a community that I never had before. Before the pandemic I never had, you know, certain convictions that I…that…that were on my heart. I was raised by a pastor and a very God-fearing woman but, you know, I was just kind of walking through the steps. And…and…and by chance I found this podcast and my life has changed just by going through the Bible in these first couple months of the year…few months of the year. I really…I really pray that you guys…you know…I'm 21 years old, I'm in college, and I'm going through a phase where I'm trying to separate myself from a lot of the habits that I had before. And I pray that you guys, you know, can…can send your prayers out for me and strengthen me in this time because I do feel like I have a calling, you know, to speak to people and help people. But sometimes I struggle with, you know, being a hypocritical Christian, you know, not…not…not in that I'm telling people to do things that I'm not doing, but I don't feel like I can give people advice and speak to people when I'm…I'm still…I'm still kind of living the way that I used to and it's hard to phase out the things that I used to do. So, I thank you guys. Thank you, Brian. You know, this is this is a really great platform. And God bless you guys. Thank you.

Good morning DABbers again. This is B from Ireland. First of all, Brian, Jill, congratulations on China and Ben's baby, Reagan. Congratulations. I pray that Reagan will live in the footsteps of her ancestors, mainly you and Jill, that that baby will grow up in favor and stature before God and man, that that baby would do great exploits for God, do greater things than you and Jill and even China and Ben ever will do, that the generation of blessing that is so evident in the life of your family continues through Reagan the Great in the mighty name of Jesus. Thank you for all you do. Thank you for this platform. It's been a lifesaver. I'm six years in, I think. I started 2016. Is that six years? Yes, I think. And I can't begin to say what Daily Audio Bible has done for me, in me through the work that you're doing. May God continue to bless the work of your hands and the mighty name of Jesus. And I want to use this opportunity to give, you know, a call to all DABberds to give to the Daily Audio Bible ministry however way you can. You know, sacrificially or if it means that you, you know, share your tithes with this ministry because this ministry feeds you every day. So, this is what I do. I don't pay all my tithes to my church. Occasionally I do tithe into this ministry because in a funny way Brian also serves as my pastor. And before I sign out, I want to pray for Rachel a lady who had covid. Oliver, you called. You said your sister Rachel had covid. I pray healing into her body right now in the name of Jesus and restoration in the name of Jesus. The name of Jesus is higher than any other name and at the name of Jesus covid bows.

Hey DAB family this is Sparky from Texas. Monday May 3rd and I wanted to take a minute and pray for a couple people that last Friday was…it hit my heart. Running Bear, I'd like to pray for you and hope that…hope that your healing, your family gets the healing that it needs and sees the love and the Christianity of this community. I'd also like to pray for Norman with the diagnosis and hoping to speak to his family. Let's just go ahead and pray together. Father we come to You and we thank You for Running Bear and both Norman Lord. We ask that You touch their hearts and help them to feel Your healing touch and help them to feel the love of Jesus and the kindness and help them to guide…help guide them to let people see Your light in them Father and to trust You. Father I…I pray for Running Bears family, that he meets the Christian part of our family and the part of You that You told us to be like. Father also pray that You heal Norman in the name of Jesus. There's some powerful things You do Father, and we know that You can heal it. Help to bring his family back together Father and move mountains. You move mountains so much. Father we thank You for everything You do, for every one of us. Amen. I love you guys. Pray for every one of you every time I hear request. I love you all and be blessed.

Hi DAB family my name is Kristen and I'm calling from Oceanside CA and I am a first-time caller, and I was introduced to the DAB family, the DAB community November 2019. And this year is the first year since I was introduced that I have made it a goal to listen every single day. And that has made me so happy and so strong. I am so thankful for the DAB family and I am just overjoyed about Reagan. And I…I love hearing your prayers and I love being able to pray for you. I'm calling to ask for prayer that someone…I…I get spiritual guidance in my life. I don't have many people...I…I have one person that's close to me that believes Jesus died for our sins and that is our heavenly Lord. And it is hard because I need more, and I need to be able to have counsel with someone. I just…I need…you know…I'm praying for a woman to come into my life that I can speak to on a daily basis about the Bible, about Jesus and just…I just need help. Thank you for your prayers.

[argonaut--keene]

Davenport and Argo!

oh man u know me so well...my BOYS

Davenport

Favorite thing about them: That, as normally no-nonsense and mission-oriented as he is, he’ll still climb a tree and read a book (and create an illusion double of himself in said tree to ambush Lup and Taako with a water gun...bless).

Least favorite thing about them: This is mostly a “Griffin doesn’t have the characterization down at the beginning” thing, but I don’t like how Dav is treated solely as comic relief in early arcs.

Favorite line: “Haven’t we earned a little wrath?” this line makes me go feral every time!

BrOTP: Davenport and Merle, but also Davenport and Lucretia! 

OTP: I headcanon Dav as aromantic, but I won’t turn down a Davenchurch fic if I come across it, though I prefer them as platonic friends!

NOTP: If he’s shipped w/literally anyone other than Merle, I haven’t seen it, nor do I want to lol!

Random headcanon: He had never sailed on an actual sailboat until he decided to get the Wavesmasher! It only took him a couple of months to get really good at it, though.

Unpopular opinion: It seems like it’s an unpopular opinion to love him in his own right as a fascinating and multidimensional character, so I guess...that? Also some of the fandom portrayals of him are a little :/ ableist.

Favorite picture of them: This was hard, but I got to go through my Davenport tag on my blog so!!!!! He’s got a dragon! Bonus: soft.....

Argo

Favorite thing about them: The earnestness Clint has when he’s playing Argo makes me so emotional! Also how much he cares about his friends omg, he has so much love to give.

Least favorite thing about them: Do I even have a least favorite thing about Argo????? Maybe but I can’t think of anything right now.

Favorite line: Man, I had to go searching the transcripts for the exact wording, but yeah. This one. “I understand. Okay, let me just tell you something. That’s fine. And I’ll pursue this up to a point. But if it reaches the point where something bad’s gonna happen to him, you may have your first broken chain link… my friend.”

BrOTP: I mean, all 3 of the Thundermen together! They’re all bros!

OTP: I don’t actually ship Argo w/anyone?

NOTP: I know everyone else ships it, but...Maplekeene is just not my thing. Sorry! I just Don’t Like It!

Random headcanon: I mentioned this specifically to you yesterday but I’m gonna re-use it: Argo wears a ton of earrings, but most of them are clip-ons because water genasi skin heals really quickly and doesn’t scar, so if he takes out an earring for more than like, an hour, the piercing closes up.

Unpopular opinion: Other than not liking Maplekeene, I don’t know that I have one? Oh, Argo is the sexiest of the three PCs this time.

Favorite picture of them: Oooh I quite like this one!

:D Thank you! <3