#and if it does and is good this shit definitely not coming to theaters over here

[no1ryomafan]

Thinking about how on Twitter there is a guy wanting TFone to do so well cause the marketing was ass that he’s hyping up the movie any chance he’s getting and it’s actually fucking working and not only is this just insane but it just makes me go “damn I wish I had this level of passion for my interests fr”

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Established Steddie, they have been living together for over a decade, did their best to heal their wounds from the Upside Down and learn to enjoy life again. It's not easy but they do it.

When the Lord of the Rings movies come out, it's actually Steve who suggests watching them to Eddie. He really tries engaging with Eddie's passions, but his focus is not the greatest when it comes to books. That doesn't mean he doesn't listen to Eddie ramble about them though - he knows all about hobbits, second breakfasts, the culture of smoking in the Shire...Eddie admires a lot of characters from the books, but ever since experiencing the Upside Down fuckery, he actually admits that the hobbits had a point. Good food, even better company and good tobacco? What else does one need? It also inspires Steve a few years later to prepare a full day of hobbit-inspired meals for their trilogy marathon when the extended editions come out. But this is about their first time watching the movies.

They both go to the movie theater excited. Steve is familiar with most of the characters, including Eddie's self-admitted crush on Aragorn. And Steve can see why, he can see so much good in all the members of the fellowship. After the first movie, he's wiping his eyes because Boromir deserved better. Eddie has a lot to say about what was lost in adaptation, but Steve knows Eddie loves those movies and would cut off his only remaining nipple before missing the next ones.

The Two Towers have Steve rooting for the ents and he feels strangely touched about how everyone underestimates Pippin, yet it's him who gets the ents to march. He really can't pick a favorite character. He can't wait for the third movie.

They go to the premiere of the Return of the King with Eddie. They secretly hold hands in the last row, and Steve watches the ride of the Rohirrim with bated breath. He clenches his hand in Eddie's when Theoden gets gravely injured, but then Éowyn is there and...oh.

He is staring slack-jawed at the scene. Éowyn's large, terrified eyes, the towering frame of the Witch King. Her posture was fearful, crouched, but still she faced him. And something surfaces in his head, something he's long forgotten.

He's unusually queit when they come back home, he still loves the rest of the movie, almost cries at "my friends, you bow to no one,", then definitely cries at Frodo leaving the Middle Earth. But there is still that something and Eddie can sense it. When they're falling asleep together, Eddie finally asks him. And Steve's had enough time to process what he felt.

"When Éowyn faced the Witch King...it reminded me of what it felt like. I mean, for the first time. I know it's stupid because saw so much unnatural shit, but...it's the first time that I have hard time forgetting," he admits quietly. "She reminded me of me in 1983 so much. I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I thought I'd do the right thing, but then I had a gun pointed at me, they both had blood on their hands...and then it appeared."

Eddie doesn't speak, he only holds Steve closer.

"It was so tall. I remember that petal-like mouth, those teeth, but mostly...I remember the crippling fear. I felt absolutely terrified. I couldn't move. There was even a moment when I thought of running away, but...I couldn't leave them there. Seeing someone go through something similar and being praised for being a hero...it makes me think. I used to be so ashamed for freezing in that moment. For even considering running away. But Éowyn...she was like me." There's awe in his voice and warmth, relief. "She had no idea what she was getting into. She froze. She didn't do everything perfectly and gracefully like Legolas or something, but when it mattered...she did what she had to."

He holds Eddie tighter and asks, almost shyly: "Will it offend you that I think she's my favorite character? Not Aragorn or Sam?"

Eddie just shakes his head and drops a kiss to Steve's hair. "Nah. She suits you well. And you're both amazing."

And if it becomes a silly endearment in their household, that Steve is sometimes called the Shieldmaiden of Hawkins? ("I'm not a maiden, Eddie!" "I'm not calling you a shieldboy or shieldbachelor, Steve!") Then Steve feels a hint of something that he thought he'd renounced, but now, for the first time he feels it's deserved - pride.

[sl-vega]

0.1; retired theater kids-(y/n's squad)

project: love liason! - a scaramouche smau

y/n:

hopelessly in love with childe (has been since freshman year) you are on fairly good terms with him, (even if half of your interactions play out in your head rather than reality)

(ridiculously) hopeful romantic

you were the one who started your friend group after you met everyone else in a drama camp during eighth grade (hence the name retired theater kids)

the "responsible" friend (even though the general consensus is that lynette and navia are the actual responsible ones)

mona:

your best friend and scara's academic "rival". having been forced to have tons of classes together in the past two years, mona and him have been pretty cut throat when it comes to them competing with each other

mona finds him insufferable, and has vented to you about him on numerous occasions, even though you've never even met the guy

super into astrology and zodiacs

she's well known around campus for having scary accurate predictions

"that wasn't on your 2024 bingo card? well it was on MINE."

furina:

president of the drama club at your school, and is often put in charge of directing all of the drama club's shows

she used to be a semi-popular child actress that frequently appeared in famous kids shows, but she took a break recently to focus more on her directing career

was essentially a guarantee for any lead in school productions when she was younger

absolute drama queen

navia frequently keeps her up to date with all the latest gossip so she's a real treat to talk to

lyney:

lynette's older twin brother, and a part time magician for kids birthday parties

one of the girls

also a member of the drama club

both an actor and member of the stage crew as he helps with special effects for productions as well

wants to continue working in the film industry after high school

bounces around as a freelance worker instead of being tied down to a specific gig despite having many offers from several places

says that if he waits the salary offers will get higher

lynette:

lyney's younger twin sister and part time magic assistant

her brother often jokes that she ditched him, but she just preferred to explore her own interests outside of lyney's career

member of both the drama club and science club

unlike lyney she only helps with behind the scenes work

most notably special effects, but she's more interested in the scientific aspect of making it work

navia:

DEFINITION of an fbi friend

knows everything about everyone, does loyalty tests on people's boyfriend's sometimes if they pay her

picks up crazy amounts of info, and has a shit ton of connections to tons of people and places

doesn't disclose how she finds out all of this

the type of friend that can find someone only by their first initial

give her a single piece of info and BOOM

she has their full legal name, all their social media accounts, the location of the grocery store they frequent, and their parent's Facebook pages

currently in a situation ship with chlorinde

additional notes:

profiles are out!

not much I wanna say but yeah :D

i'll try my best to do frequent updates

if you wanna be tagged just send me an ask/comment!

𝜗𝜚 SYNOPSIS: you're head over heels in love with childe, and scaramouche is (begrudingly) smitten with his "rival" mona. and, by sheer divine coincidence, you both happen to be the best friends of each other's objects of affection, so you strike a deal with each other. if scaramouche helps you ask out childe, you'll set him up with mona. so with the annual spring formal right around the corner, the two of you vow to be each other's wingmans so you can end your junior year on a high note (and maybe even kick off your senior year with a new relationship!). between, scheming, planning, and researching, you and scaramouche find yourselves developing a new relationship via helping each other out. now the real question is whether this friendship will remain as a pure platonic bond, or blossom into something more?

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🎀 - taglist!;

@agaygothicmushroom, @035814, @freyao7, @sketcheeee, @tsukimara, @shyentsmissingink, @justpeachyteastea, @aries-afk, @lxkeeeee, @sakiimeo, @sugxryratz, @shutingstar, @lalaloveallmydays, @bellflower1257, @haruumei, @kichiyosh1, @littlemisssatanist, @dee-zbignuts, @candyescapism, @crimxeorcremeexistspeacefully

[r3starttt]

Can you do something about drummer Abby and makeup artist reader?

Thank you, I love the ellie in an interview ❤️

MAKE IT UP TO ME

Drummer! Abby x makeup artist! reader

You’ve always loved makeup, a lot. Your biggest dream was to become a professional makeup artist, and you were determined to. So when you finally got a job you felt like your life was solved.

But it wasn’t, apparently if you don’t work on your own there’s always gonna be people that cause trouble in your life. You got fired because some jealous coworker which you didn’t even get to know the name, said some shit about you.

And you thought it was all over because apparently no one hires people if they don’t have enough experience. And you stood jobless for a while, until your best friend, Nora, helped you get a job.

And now you’re here, on your fifth concert, doing makeup to an apparently very famous band that pays you more than enough. Most of them would ask you for very extravagant makeups, especially the main singer of the band, so you had to take a while with each member due to the details.

So when it was time to get to the drummer you mostly ended alone with her, which you didn’t mind at all because she’s hot and really nice to talk to. Also it’s been pretty helpful because you’ve get to be closer with the band as well that way.

“Gosh people’s so loud today” you could hear the fans screaming outside. The place they were doing today’s concert was pretty small, like a local theater kinda “yeah… we’ve been getting a lot of support lately, hopefully soon we’ll get to perform on bigger stages” Abby’s eyes were closed as she spoke. You were doing a type of messy look, smudged eyeliner, some dark eyeshadow and a bit or mascara.

“You’re planing on performing maybe in other states?” you grabbed the eyeliner and started to apply it on her eyes, smudging it with your finger “we’d like to, but it doesn’t really depends on us. But if we do you’re definitely coming with us” you couldn’t help but smile, she’s just being nice but when you’re almost on top of her, while she has her eyes closed and her voice sounds so pretty to you, what else is there to think?

“I’d love to, thanks” you can see her smile widening a bit “you’re ready abs, tell me if there’s anything else you want to add” you step aside, allowing the blonde to look at the mirror in front of her and check on her makeup “all good” she says, standing up from the chair. And you can’t help but stare at her tall and strong figure which totally hides whenever she sits for you to do her makeup.

She’s wearing a black tank top and some gray military pants with a pair of black boots, and the contrast it does with her skin and hair as well as the makeup is killing you because how does she look hotter than any other day? However your thoughts get interrupted by her voice.

“You’re free tomorrow? I’d like to take you somewhere” she says it so casual, as she puts on a baggy jacket, and you can only stare at her in shock “I’d take you out tonight but we got plans already and I’d like to do something better than just getting drunk and talk about the show with you” she finally turned around and it would be a total lie to say you don’t look nervous because you can see her laughing a bit as she stares at you.

“Yeah, just…. send me a message tomorrow morning” you said trying your best to sound as confident as her. she just nodded and walked out of the room. later that night when you were with the band as usual, celebrating another show, you two could only stare at each other. She always sat besides you, but that night she was touchier than usual and fuck you needed to see her again, alone.

Just as you woke up you checked on your phone and gladly, a message from Abby was the first thing you saw. She just remind you to not go out since you had plans with her. You two kept talking most of the morning, planing where to go and what to do. Finally you two decided to go to some quite fancy restaurant to have dinner.

And the day felt eternal, even though you had to work that day you could only overthink about the whole situation and the date you had later with Abby. And it was the same for her because as confident as she looks and acts in front of you she was almost dying yesterday when she first asked you to go out and you wouldn’t answer, she was also overthinking, a lot, an repeating the scene in her head over and over.

Abby had offered to pick you up and drive you home as well because “it’s dangerous for you to be alone” so when night came and your phone vibrated you got shivers all over your body.

The date was way better than you expected, you feared it might be awkward but it was the total opposite. Maybe it helped the past weeks of pure tension between both or the fact that most of the time you were flirting with each other, but whatever it was it doesn’t really matter as long as you get any chance with her.

Once she drive you home she ask you to stay just a bit more, so now you’re both outside your apartment’s building, just sitting in the car, staring at each other in silence.

“Can I kiss you?” you see her eyes wandering over you as her hands cup your face, and suddenly you’re pressing your lips over hers for some seconds that feel eternal, until she pulls away.

“you’re so fucking pretty you know that?” her hands are still on your face yet she moves them rapidly and turns her face to her window, to which you laugh “what’re you doing?”the light from the outside reflects on her as she turns her face back to you “doing what?” her eyes move to your lips once again “look away” you reply.

“Because” a nasal chuckle comes out of her and her smile wides a bit. her arm moves again to your face and as her fingers touch your lips you open your mouth slightly “I gotta go abs” as you speak her thumb goes slightly into your inner lips “why?” you notice how she furrows her eyebrows slightly and her eyes finally meet yours.

“It’s too late already and I have to work tomorrow, all day” a small chuckle comes out of your mouth “Come here then” she moves her arms to the back of your neck and pulls you again for another kiss.

“Thanks for today, I swear I’ll make it up to you” you grab your bag and open the door, looking at her one last time “you better do”.

[lovesickonmybed]

bully ellie would date other people to make reader jealous?

warnings: slight sexual content, bullying, loser!reader, kind of perv!reader.

i urge you to not buy any of the last of us games, including the remaster as the creator, neil druckmann is a zionist. the second game is based off of the israeli occupation in palestine and you can learn more about that here.

masterlist | info abt palestine | donate to gaza

Honestly I think just seeing Ellie tease other people would be enough to make reader jealous. Reader sort of likes how Ellie bullies and teases her and if she saw Ellie cornering someone else and tilting her head like she does when she’s making fun of reader that she’d be pissed. Reader is pissed at herself for feeling jealous but also confused about why she’s jealous. If Ellie was purposefully trying to make reader jealous she’d go out on a date with someone she knows reader isn’t a fan of, maybe it’s someone who corrected her in class after answering a question or someone who tripped her in the hallway once. Ellie would also make sure the date was somewhere reader usually hangs out, maybe a local cafe or the drive in movie theater. Let’s say it’s at the drive in.

Ellie drives around looking for your car, hoping there’s an open spot next to it, thankfully where you parked is pretty far away from everyone else. She pulls into the spot and smiles, turning to her date, “I’ll grab the snacks,” Ellie says as she pops the trunk and gets out of her car. 

You sit in the driver's seat of your beat up Honda, glancing over at the car that’s pulled up next to yours. You recognize it instantly, your eyes going wide with shock. “Shit…” you mumble as you watch Ellie get out of her Subaru. You look her up and down, admiring how she looks in her tight tank top and cut off shorts. She catches you staring and you suddenly curse yourself for not taking your parents up on the offer to get your windows tinted for your birthday. She walks over, smiling wide and you roll down your window for her. She leans down to look into the car, “Hey loser, what are you doing here?” Ellie asks, looking you up and down. 

“Just here to see Bottoms…y’know…same as you…” You answer nervously, praying Ellie can’t see how bad you’re sweating or tell that you’re fighting the urge to not look down her shirt. 

“Yeah, well you could always look in the mirror to see a bottom y’know,” Ellie chuckles. You start coughing in surprise, trying desperately to catch your breath. Ellie tilts her head and smirks, biting her lip to suppress a laugh as you catch your breath. Ellie’s date, Angela, gets out of the car and comes over. Her face is enough to make you seethe, 2 weeks ago she corrected you when you answered a question in your Calculus II course, sure you’re out of high school and shit like that shouldn’t bother you now that you’re in college but the tone she used correcting you felt incredibly condescending. She leans down with Ellie, slinging her arm over her shoulder.

“Hey, you’re in my Calculus class, right?” Angela asks, pulling down her sunglasses to get a good look at you. Her look is judging, you didn’t dress up, you just wanted to be comfortable, throwing on a Jurassic park t-shirt and a pair of baggy jeans. 

“Uh yeah, we sit like a row apart I think,” you say, trying to not make it obvious that you’re absolutely seething at the sight of her. You know it’s dumb to hold grudges but you also don’t care and will probably hold the grudge till you die. You hate how she looks at you, you hate that her arm is slung over Ellie’s shoulder, you definitely hate that Ellie isn’t shrugging her arm off. You dig your fingernails into the soft skin of your leg, trying to hold back your annoyance and stay civil. 

“Oh, we do? I never noticed…” You grit your teeth in annoyance at her words, you know damn well she knows you and you don’t understand why she’s pretending like she doesn’t. Ellie looks over at her and smiles. Angela is doing exactly what Ellie was hoping she would, Ellie leans closer to get, resting her head on her shoulder. 

“Uh yeah, I don’t really talk too much, makes sense why you’d forget I was there…” You feel yourself getting hot with embarrassment, your voice catching in your throat. You turn the AC up in your car, hoping it’ll help. You hate how much hotter you feel as you see the bead of sweat sliding down Ellie’s chest and into the valley of her breasts. You swallow and sigh, trying to think of what to say, “So uh, are you guys on a date or?” Your voice trails off.

Ellie turns to look at Angela and tilts her head, catching her bottom lip with her teeth as she takes a minute to think. “I don’t know, Ang, is this a date?” Ellie asks playfully, nudging her with her nose, hoping to get an answer that’ll make you angry.

Angela smiles down at Ellie, wetting her lips with her tongue. “I don’t know, do you want it to be a date, Ellie?” She asks softly, flirting so aggressively with the auburn haired girl that it makes you want to puke, preferably onto them to break up the cheesy display in front of you. Ellie chuckles and leans forward to peck her lips and you throw up in your mouth a little bit.

“Uh, I think the movie is starting soon. You guys should probably get back to your car…don’t want any employees getting onto us for talking y’know…” You say awkwardly, wanting to look at hot lesbians wrestling instead of the bully you’ve got complicated feelings for sucking face with someone who pisses you off to no end.

“Don’t be so lame, we’re pretty far away from everyone else, no one's gonna complain,” Ellie groans, rolling her eyes at you as she pulls away from Angela. She narrows her eyes at you and smiles, “I think you’re just pissed you’re watching this movie alone. Jealous you don’t have someone to play with your pretty little pussy, aren’t you honey? Hm poor thing.” You hate how wet you get when she mocks you, you cross your legs and try to ignore how you ache at the thought of her fingering you in the backseat of your car. 

“I just want to watch the movie in peace, it’s rude to talk during a movie,” you mutter just loud enough for her to hear. 

She looks over at Angela and whispers something to her, Angela goes and starts getting the snacks out of Ellie’s trunk. Ellie leans closer into your car, practically halfway in your car, and for a second you feel like you’re ordering at Dutch Bros. “I’m gonna go over with my date, when you get lonely and your pussy gets so wet you need to take care of it come to my car and maybe one of us will take pity on your pathetic little cunt, k?” She smiles and walks back over to her car, climbing in with Angela and picking out what snacks she’ll have.

The projector turns on and you turn to focus on the screen, ignoring how dry your mouth is and how you ache between your thighs. Ellie can barely keep her eyes off you and you’re completely unaware, your eyes glued to the screen. When Angela starts to kiss her neck to try and get her attention she pushes her away, “She’s not even looking at me…” Ellie grumbles.

[kiirotoao]

Season 3 rewatch notes

Wait a minute, I just realized that Mike and Will are the only ones in The Party who’ve canonically been dungeon masters. Idk what that means for them, but, yeah. Another exclusive detail of theirs

Oh, lord. Mike’s arm being torn off in the D&D game better not be a prophecy. If those s5 notes are accurate about Mike being seriously injured… I’m scared.

GOD I’ve never noticed how hard Will breathes in the rain scene. Poor baby he was so stunned 😭😭😭😭

The thing that I love most about Jonathan and Nancy is that they’ve been through the real shit. Arguments and hardship through the supernatural and the struggles of discrimination and privilege.

I love how Max is usually the one who speaks after Will. It’s like she’s the only one brave enough to answer after he says something profound or important. I need more of Max and Will’s friendship and them having well-thought out arguments I swear

Omg I love Erica’s little green star on her cheek. It’s so cute 😭🩷

After watching The Princess Bride, I am fangirling so much over Cary Elwes - it’s so crazy to me that he got him to play such a character! I wonder if they thought of him because of all the physical stunts lmao

As much as Karen isn’t in the know of much of anything in the supernatural story, I love how she’s a picture of raw strength in the Wheeler family, the true head of the household. She takes charge. Stops at nothing to help. Not even in the face of temptation. Go Karen.

DAMN I forgot that Billy dropped an f bomb! I thought that the closest that the show got was when Max got cut off in the hospital, but nope. There it was

Shit, I’m tearing up at that scene when El collapses into Mike’s arms because I know that that was real exhaustion. Poor Millie 🩷🩷🩷. She did such a phenomenal job there.

I LOVE whenever Joyce is angry this season. Now that’s how you demand. Straight to the point, justified in her worry, and cutting past any unnecessary bs while still including the cherry on top “please” or “good day” of politeness out of basic decency. I want to be her when I’m upset.

I’m always so blown away by Maya’s performance when she comes out to Steve. Straight (haha) through the heart, so good. And I always, always smile at Steve’s reaction. So in character, so accepting. No questioning if she’s being honest, just immediately questioning her type and believing that she’s into girls. So, so important.

Oh, no. Holly saw the trees moving in the woods. Thus far, she’s noticed the demogorgon coming out of the wall, and now this. She’s definitely a target next season.

When El tells Billy the memory of his mom, I teared up a little! Something about the way that El says, “you were happy” breaks me, dude. Millie and Dacre did so well.

Also, thinking in foresight of s4, Max’s letter is so heartbreaking. The Mind Flayer made a huge show of killing Billy slowly and painfully. I don’t blame her for being too horrified to move. It really wasn’t her fault. That was traumatic. Sadie did amazing there, too. Ouch.

I’m never getting over the helicopter lights being blue, yellow, and red. Were starboard and port always blue and red? And isn’t starboard supposed to be green? It’s all intentional, I’m telling you

I love how Max and Lucas are supposed to be “butchering” Never Ending Story but those two theater kids actually sound amazing. I just wish they harmonized 😆

Oh my gosh Jonathan did the Byers hold to Nancy 😭😭😭😭 I am not okay 😭😭 I never noticed that

Okay wait. This is kinda horrible. I feel bad for saying this. But y’know how Mike has a Will voice? Well I just noticed that Mike definitely does not have a soft voice for El. I swear, he’s always so loud around her like nothing’s different about her 😂😭 Any time he’s sweet with her he’s just like YEAH. COOL. and it’s kinda hilarious.

Jancy is WRECKING me this season wtf. Charlie and Natalia are so cute 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh my gosh David’s voice kinda breaks at “doze off.” Fuck.

Erica has blue, yellow, and pink balloons plus a rainbow drawing on her door. I now headcanon Erica as pansexual/panromantic, thank you.

AHHHGHH I can’t wait for the original version of Heroes to play next season over Byler kissing when everyone thinks that they might be dead but they’re just surviving in the Upside Down, clinging to each other and having the highest moment of their lives!!!!!!!

This has been my s3 thoughts for the 6-8th time watching? I forget? And I missed a number of moments because I got too absorbed so, oops. Anyway, I love Jancy, I love Jopper, I love the Scoops Troop, I love Suzie, I miss Alexi, Byler is endgame, and this season was way more fun than I remembered and it always makes me laugh. My list of favorite seasons has been shaken expertly.

[demigod-shenanigans]

Psssst. Can I maybe get something about Jaspn going to the movies for the first time? Either on a date with Leo or as a friend thing with all three of them?

Making it lost trio for now because in my head Leo and Jason always take forever to get their shit together and Jason having to wait that long for his first movie theater experience would be kind of sad. I may or may not sprinkle some valgrace in there tho 😌

I just know they spent literally forever trying to decide on a movie. Leo kept trying to push some movie from a franchise that he’s fixated on and requires a whole universe worth of knowledge to really enjoy insisting that it’s not that complicated and he can totally explain the lore of a bazillion shows and movies and/or make Jason watch all of those so he can still enjoy it (think Marvel or Star Wars or something). Piper vetoes that and suggests a horror movie (her main motivation on this is Jason and Leo are both cowards and she wants them to hold hands about it, and also she doesn’t really get how they’re scared of fictional monsters when they’ve literally faced worse, but whatever, lmao)

Jason kind of wants to see a romcom but he knows they’ll both tease the shit out of him for that so he doesn’t say it.

In the end he just picks something based on a title that sounds okay.

Piper gets chips and ice tea, Leo gets a huge bucket of popcorn that’s larger than his head and a soda. Jason gets a large water and asks cautiously if he can try popcorn without sugar or salt. Piper and Leo promptly say they’re both unfriending him. In the end he just grabs trail mix and Leo heaves this deep sigh and him and Piper spend the movie pestering Jason to try their snacks. Jason doesn’t dislike their choices necessarily but says he’ll stick to trail mix (Heroes of Juno Jason and his snack tendencies are canon to me now I’m sorry) and they’re both affronted.

The movie they see turns out to be a heist movie. They mostly have a good time but Jason does ask “isn’t that illegal” at least three times during the beginning until Piper kicks him in the leg and Leo tells him “don’t make me shut you up” (Leo blushes furiously because he meant, like, shut him up with tape or a hand over the mouth, not make out with him, but it definitely comes out like he meant making out and neither of them is able to look at the other for the rest of the movie)

Jason gets very attached to all of the characters and is extremely upset when one of them is captured. He also definitely doesn’t get that this is setting up a sequel and Piper and Leo have to comfort him about it for at least half an hour

Leo somehow finishes the whole bucket of popcorn before the movie is over and Piper and Jason just stare at him because what the fuck how

This becomes a semi-regular thing for them whenever they have the time. They take turns picking movies so everyone gets what they want eventually.

[bull-shit-suji]

kuro modern au stuff that i word vomited into my notes app

kind of a Vincent summoned sebastian to save ciel so ciel doesnt actually owe sebas anything

amnesia? idk

single dad moment! except theres this other dad whos kinda find.. (cough agni)

i think vincent was like do NOT let ciel know ur a demon so sebastian keeps it a secret but he doesnt have a good handle on like. Humans. so he kinda does a bad job and ciel definitely knows that he's weird but doesnt say anything. will go out of his way to gaslight you when sebastian does weird shit because he thinks its funny

"hey uhh is your dad levitating?"

"no?"

"he's flying above the school rn"

"that's a bird"

u think suddenly being a butler is hard? have fun being a dad bitch

alois is there but thats complicated. claude and hannah are DIVORCED but on decent terms (i think claude is like. toxic alpha male podcast type guy) and claude sees alois on alternating weekends!

are they demons? i dont know

i think ciel and alois can be friends. platonically. alois would probably say yes if ciel wanted to be romantic but i Promise you he does not. they are just pals :)

im saying ciel has a crush on elizabeth because i can (she's not his cousin here). emo boy x sunny church girl. said sunny church girl has to ask the mcdonalds employees for the blue raspberry slushie they forgot to put in ciel's order because emo boy is too scared.

IM 13 EVERYTHING SUCKSSSSS

grelle is actually living her best life transitioned with anne so they are ciel's aunts on his late mom's side. i think grelle likes ciel. mom figure moreso than anne is.

ciel owns four bongs and definitely a vape or two. come on now

he's also probably got celiac and is lactose intolerant he is just a feeble boy i think

he listens to twenty one pilots. sorry! sorry.

ciel is goth alois is punk those r kinda just the rules

ciel is insanely smart top of the class this shit is easy for him.

yells at sebastian daily. figured out what happened with his real parents around the age of uhhhh 12 or 13? has been an absolute terror ever since

"it was really nice of your dad to bring cookies for the field trip!"

"i hope he fucking chokes on one"

"oh!"

sebastian and claude are pta rivals.

"is this lemon bread store bought? my, how... efficient!"

"you made these from scratch? i can tell."

"i've never seen an interesting looking salsa! very exciting."

ciel purposefully invites alois over constantly bcus it pisses sebas off. alois is Terrified of that man.

"go grab the chips from the kitchen"

"but... what if mr michaelis is in there?"

"mr m- you mean my dad? tell him he can shove a faucet up his ass"

"id rather die on the spot"

sebastian will yell at ciel and is maybe a little emotionally unavailable but he's trying!!! it's hard :(

does that Dad thing where he comes into ciels room and is like hey bud......... what r u up to..

ciel and seiglinde r also palls. the smartest people in school

lizzie is a JOCK. she plays softball.

alois is a theater kid come on now

ciel is best at writing and literature analysis, specifically fiction. enjoys history, language, and Some sciences as well.

nerd

au where myspace is still a thing ciel has a myspace account

he definitely writes shitty poetry

wants to major in business

alois is a glee and pitch perfect truther

[insuke69]

Miles!42 headcanons p2

Part 2 because 2 ppl asked and have sm thoughts of this boy HSJKS

Warnings: No warnings except possesive/jealous?? (I feel like hes a lil toxic, red flag sometimes but red is my fav color <3)

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

-He's good with kids but would secretly try to teach a kid curse words

-Is almost always texting you when you two aren't physically together, he's had his phone taken in class so many times because of it.

-He apologizes with flowers, necklaces, Food, make-up making out occaisionally

-Listens to your music taste and definitely has recommended good songs

-He will NEVER tie his shoe laces, just for no reason whatsoever and if you tell him to tie them he'd ask you to do it.

-STALKS YOUR INSTAGRAM NON-STOP. when yall first got together he liked all your posts of the last month

-Would deadass beat anyone who trys grabbing you in any intimate way, almost killed a dude that slapped your ass in the street in public. (Mostly cause one, without consent is a no-no, 2 was disrespectful, 3 only he is allowed to touch your ass smh)

-Thinks you're hot when upset/when y'all argue, hate makeout seshes go hard

-ARGUE-FUCKING-ING. He will piss you off sometimes so he can watch you storm out and a few hours later text him to come over, scenario;

You two were arguing about a post, an instagram post Miles made. It was a picture of you but you didn't know he took it, in the image you were chomping on a big ass burger and had ketchup and some cheese on the corner of your mouth. To Miles it was adorable but to you it was embarrassing, you storm out to your house, pissed, the one moment you were dirty because of food Miles took a picture and POSTED it. You check the Picture again as you lay on your stomach on your bed over a pillow to lay comfortably, remembering the moment; Miles made a stupid joke as you took a bite which made you almost choke as you turned your head to cough, smudging the corner of your moth a bit. Damn, he was so fun.. Missing him already you decide to watch a movie, him never leaving your mind so you just text him once the 2 hour movie was finished.

"Come over pls"

"Be there in 20"

"ily"

-loves movies, If y'all go on a movie theater date he gets tickets in the back, hand over yours the whole time.

+ If the movie ends up sucking y'all just make out in the theater and making jokes about the lines, acting, etc.

-He hates dark chocolate with a passion, deadass HATES it for whatever reason (he claims its too bitter.)

-If you have a guy bsf Miles would really have to get to know the guy and need 24/4 notifications about you and the guy bsf. If you confront him about being jealous or something he'd say anything along the lines of "You don't know the mind of a guy, You may not want anything but he does." and 9/10 he was right.

-DEBATING WITH HIM SUCKS this man will immediately gaslight sm shit that'd make you question life itself. (yet half the time he is talking out of his ass.)

-He is atheist 100% (Fact over faith + lost most of his faith when his dad died :(.)

-He doesn't like white girls, more into latinas/black girlies. (Idc if you're white, its more likely he is more into girls he can semi-relate to in a way.)

___________________________________________________________

Low-key wanna make scenarios so jst reply what yall want :D

[the-ace-with-spades]

Fic idea I'll probably never write:

Actor Bradley + still naval aviator Jake AU

Bradley was a theater kid and he was a really good theatre kid - his last high school won a national award for a musical he had the main male role and a play he's the main character and his theater club teacher encouraged him to send audition tape for acting schools. He does, just to get her off his back and he gets further auditions for Juilliard and Tisch, somehow.

Mav, who is trying very hard to change Bradley's plans to join the Navy by encouraging him to apply to as many colleges as he can, tells him to go, just in case he likes it. He gets a spot in Juilliard around the same time he finds out Mav pulled his papers from USNA. It's supposed to be just something to fill the time until he can join NOCS when he gets his degree, he doesn't actually think he'll be an actor full time, he just wants to be as far away from Mav and Ice as he can.

Things happen fast - he has his first Broadway role before he graduates. Within the next few years, he stars in an extremely popular TV show in one of the main male roles, he's got a side role in a box office breaking movie, and then he gets cast as the main character for a series of action movies (ala MI or FaF). He's one of those actors that does dangerous stunts himself and who is called a madman by most of his co-stars and gets a reputation as the crazy but absolutely the funniest and kindest guy ever who stars in way too many productions every year. Fans know him as the guy who engages in charity work, donates and promotes charities for orphans, veterans and minorities and as the guy that goes to random bars and sings musical numbers on untuned pianos. His main revenue are the popular action movies but he stars in more traditionally demanding roles for the challenge (dramas, tragedies, thrillers) and romantic comedies and musicals for funnsies and in indie movies way under his budget for the sake of artistic creation.

(Mav and Ice watched every single production he had been in, a few unavailable Broadway productions aside. Most of them, they have on DVDs.)

He had a lot of luck because his breaking side role was directed by one guy and that guy loved him and pushed him into many of his movies later and then the same happened with another two directors.

His career hits a tough point when his sexuality comes out (unwillingly). There are rumors and a lot of people who were fans of his action movies come around and talk shit about him and he decides to take a break from acting for a bit.

He's a year into the break when his friendly director calls and says he's got a military action movie for him. A movie about naval aviators, about fighter pilots. To be filmed raw, in real planes, in real flight, with real pilots.

Bradley says no straight away. But then his friend is like, I know you've got a pilot licence already and you fly planes for fun, don't you want to share the fun with the rest of the cast, don't you want to fly a fighter jet?

Bradley has always wanted to fly a fighter jet, that's what hurts most about it all, so he agrees.

He hasn't talked to Mav or Ice for over fifteen years when he finds out that the Dagger Squadron the cast got their assigned pilots from is led by Pete Maverick Mitchell and said Pete Maverick Mitchell is going to be performing the most demanding jet stunts needed for the movie.

Bradley's assigned pilot for the rest of the film is a very reluctant Jake Hangman Seresin.

Hangman doesn't watch movies and definitely not action movies. He's a romantic comedy kinda guy because his life is an action movie with ad breaks for paper work and training. So he doesn't know Bradley and like hell he's going to be flying for some hollier than thou actor - he's going to put him in his place and make him puke as many times as possible the minute he sits in his backseat.

It doesn't work. Bradshaw doesn't puke once. He's almost impressed.

He's definitely impressed when Bradshaw stops by the Hard Deck, looking absolutely not like someone who earns millions every year, wearing an old Hawaiian shirt, an old pair of jeans, sunglasses and a worn out Casio watch, and Nikes that have seen better days and sits down at the piano with Jake's squad and bursts out songs after songs, sounding like a freaking angel. He has to leave when people start asking about autographs from left and right.

Maybe Bradshaw is hot, whatever. He still doesn't think he's a big deal, he's probably a mediocre actor at best, some pretty boy with rich parents that could send him to acting school and who probably grew up with money that could buy him a career.

They have problems working together, obviously, and Bradley is like, fuck that, and tells him the address of a private airport and tells him to show up at four.

Jake thinks he's going to make him fly a small private plane for the sake of bonding but instead Bradshaw packs into the passenger seat of a new piston sport plane and starts it off. Doesn't explain anything, just takes Jake up in the sky, ignores his chatter until they're in the air space where he can do some funny bits and maneuvers.

At some point, the plane tells him Bradshaw is pulling 6 Gs.

In the end, Bradshaw tells him, "I don't care what you think of me, I just want you to fly the goddamn plane like I'd."

And okay, maybe Hangman starts finding him a bit hot.

He googles him. And watches some of his movies. And his rom coms and his musicals and he reads and reads and maybe Bradshaw isn't that bad.

They start to talk between film takes and then he takes Bradshaw to relax to a taco stand where he won't be recognised. Then to an ice cream place, and bowling, and surfing, and then again and again, until finally, Bradley lands at Jake's house.

In Jake's bed.

Everything would be absolutely fine but not even a few days later not only tabloids find out all about Bradshaw's gay navy romance - his sexual orientation being a topic Bradley's been avoiding as much as he could in the past year - but also about all the things he's told Jake during their dates, like about Goose and about his (unnamed) Navy gay parents and about how tough it was for him in college and then how tough it was being in the closet while in the industry.

Obviously, Bradley thinks the worst about Jake and how all that info surfaced.

(this gets somehow resolved but I didn't think that far - they get together and Bradley reconciles with Mav and Ice and they have an awkward meet the parents moment when Hangman finds out)

[c-is-for-circinate]

MCU Rewatch #3: THOR (2011)

General Impressions: I'm allowed to like this one for reasons unrelated to objective quality! I'm also allowed to dislike it for same!

Thor does a good job at a bunch of things. It manages to really succinctly outline what Asgard's deal is, who the major players are, and how this complete fantasy world works, while remaining in the context of a two-hour movie that mostly doesn't even take place there. It's very funny in places! It's not at all a deep movie, but it's entertaining and fantastical and that's fun. This is -- and was! -- the perfect movie to watch in a cold movie theater during a hot summer, munching popcorn and explosions, and that's a perfectly valid thing to be.

Anyway, for me the best parts and the worst parts of this movie were the same, ie Loki. We'll get there -- he was by far the most complex part of this really quite simple film, and that has its plusses and minuses!

All in all, there's nothing wrong with a simple film, and for the most part that's what I'll say about Thor: it was a simple film with good fight scenes, and nothing much was wrong with it.

OH. Except the sound balancing/editing. That was absolutely criminal and whoever was in charge of sound design for this movie should be shot, not just for their crimes here but for the many years of emulation to come.

The Hero: Like the movie, simple but endearing, with a genuine heart.

Thor is definitely not as compelling as Tony Stark, but he's likeable, and his emotional arc is definitely both present and the most genuine part of this movie. In a lot of ways, what we see here is that Thor is a big kid. He makes decisions without thinking about consequences. He does not bother to try and read a room. He's arrogant in a way that reflects his position, but he's also arrogant in a way that suggests he hasn't considered his position -- having his powers, hammer, and home taken away from him is a shock because he's never thought about the fact that he had them in the first place. Getting sent to Earth is more or less a boy being grounded by his father to try and teach him responsibility. Thor is almost a coming-of-age movie, except that it never quite feels like Thor actually gets there -- he's better, by the end, but not quite a man standing on his own two feet just yet. Breaking the Bifrost is a sacrifice on his part, not a decision carrying the weight of the responsibilities Thor will have as an adult and future king.

That said, I really enjoyed the sincerity of his confusion and grief over being told Odin was dead. He's a hurt little kid, asking his brother if please, can I go home. The scene with Selvig in the bar is one of the best in the movie, with Thor admitting vulnerability and doubt and regret over how he left things with his father. (And again, telling that all of these are feelings about his dad, with a man old enough to be a dad/granddad, and that's the energy Thor needs to lean on right now -- Selvig, not Jane, gets Thor's emotional breakthrough moments, because Thor is a tall handsome child who hasn't grown past needing a parent.)

Also, I vaguely remember some fan back-and-forth about whether Thor is kind of dumb, or very smart but trolling, or very smart and just ignorant of local customs. Upon rewatch, Thor may or may not be smart, but he doesn't particularly care. He does shit on Earth because he doesn't care enough to pay attention to whether it's appropriate. Nobody else is smashing coffee mugs, and the diner is totally lacking in raucous celebratory energy, but Thor wants to be raucous and celebrate, so he's going to do so whether it's appropriate or not. Doesn't matter that he's been driven around in cars his whole time on Earth, he doesn't spend thirty seconds to think about what might be appropriate travel, he's going to make assumptions. This is more of that self-centered teenager logic, where he doesn't bother to try and think about the existence of points of view outside his own.

The Villain: If I end up having Loki Feels by the end of this marathon I'm going to stab something. I refuse.

Anyway, Loki was the most complex part of this really quite simple film, which has good and bad sides! I can and will be objective about how well/poorly that complexity was rendered, but sitting here thirteen years after this movie came out, I can admit it: I really fucking hate the Evil Adopted Kid trope. It's a shitty trope and I don't like it, for personal reasons, and that is always going to color my experience with Loki in any movie where he shows up

That aside, Loki's actual motivations and plans in this movie were baffling and kind of a mess. The problem is that Loki is a complex character, with a lot of doubts, full of love and jealousy and insecurity and pride, but we very rarely get to see him from the inside. It feels like the movie was really invested in surprising people with the end twist of Loki killing Laufey in front of Odin, revealing that actually he was on Asgard's side all along! and does not hate his family! So therefore, for the movie before that, we had to be witness to everyone else's doubts about him and only seeing his actions from the outside, to keep that a surprise. I can see how it'd be effective on a first watch, when the suspense of 'what is this guy going to do and what side is he on?' can pull a viewer through the movie. On a rewatch, knowing what Loki's ultimate deal is, it just feels confusing and inconsistent. What exactly was your plan for when your dad woke up, Loki? Did you actually intend to leave Thor on Earth forever? Were you or were you not actually hoping to kill your brother? What the fuck was your endgame here?

I think there is probably a very interesting story here where Loki's plans seem muddled because he's muddled, awash with emotions and doubts and the inner conflict between love of his brother, twisting jealousy, the objective truth that Thor would be a terrible king, and the fact that Loki, like Thor, is also still very much a grown-up kid. He's making dumb decisions by the seat of his pants and his motivations are contradictory and messy. That tracks, with what we see, but we don't get to see that because this movie is too invested in its twist and its simplicity. Allowing Loki the time and space to be this complicated would steal the entire show from his simpler, genuine brother, and because the movie itself wanted to be simple and straightforward, there wasn't room to hold the layers of its complicated villain. No wonder the Tumblr girlies went wild for him.

The Ensemble: Weak romantic lead with an A+ comic sidekick, hobbled by needing to run two casts at once.

I think this is where we really see Thor suffer from the problem of having to establish two casts at the same time. The New Mexico side of the equation, Jane and Selvig and Darcy, simply doesn't get time for character development. We know next to nothing about Jane, except that she cares about her research and once dated a doctor. Why this research? How did she get into it? How long has she been in New Mexico? What university does she even work for??? It's true that we don't get a lot of details about, say, Pepper's backstory, but it doesn't matter because we understand from the very beginning how she fits into her life and also Tony's life. Jane is a brief three-day whirlwind in Thor's existence, and that's not enough time for him or us to understand who she is or why we should love her. It feels like the movie went through the motions of having a Lady Love Interest, and it doesn't work out great.

Darcy and Selvig actually fare better, simply because there's less need for them to be more than they are. All we know about Darcy is that she's a polisci major who's working a summer internship way outside of her field, but we don't need to know more -- she's there to be fucking hilarious and indeed she is. Selvig is there to help facilitate Jane's choices and Thor's emotional development, and he does his job well.

The Asgardians have a similar problem. Thor's four friends are basically interchangeable (Sif's only notable distinction being that she's a girl). Thor's mom...shows up? We get the impression that there's more going on with Odin than we've seen, but I wonder if some of that is just me remembering Ragnarok -- either way, given that Odin is literally in a coma for 3/4 of this movie, it doesn't mean much. Heimdall probably has more characterization than anyone else in Asgard other than Loki, and that is...not a lot.

It's a lot of just not very much, across the board.

The Franchise: We're already seeing the formula start to get built and tested in the moviemaking labs.

It's fascinating watching Thor on screen directly after two back-to-back movies of Tony Stark, because Thor has some of Tony's same growth arc with none of his fascinating complexity. On the surface they've got the same vague sketched outline: careless, self-involved privileged prettyboy must learn to think outside himself and care for others to become a hero. Thor takes that plotline in a very different direction, which means the movie doesn't feel same-y, but a more cynical viewer might wish to speculate about what boardroom or producer's office suggested that the writing team follow that.

I think Thor actually does better about wasting time trying to set up the future of the franchise. We don't spend a ton of time on Coulson and Hawkeye here -- if we watched this movie with no idea who they were or that they were here to set up anything at all, they'd function fine as Generic Government People (with an inexplicable thing for archery). I think the place where the setting-up hits worst, actually, might be with Loki: he needs to be complex and sympathetic enough to be interesting as the main villain of Avengers, but we can't resolve anything about him before that. (Not sure how far they'd planned the plot of Avengers at this point in the production run, but I wouldn't be surprised if they'd already called him as their bad guy.)

Thinking about the big thematic MCU premise of a superhero world without secret identities -- the choice of Thor as our next hero in the franchise, somebody who neither has nor needed a secret identity to begin with, is clever there. They're not going back on the freedom from overworked secret identity bullshit that they've promised, but they're also not stuck making a second movie about the lack of them, which would just end up looking like a retread of IM2. The secrets we do find here are all kept by SHIELD, which is clearly trying to keep superhero stuff in, and just as clearly is not managing it. (Loki also has a secret identity, with his discovery of his Jotunn heritage...hmm, much to think about there for the future.)

We pretty much lose all themes around the military-industrial complex here, and the movie is probably the better for it, considering what a hash IM2 made of the subject.

VERDICT: A breezy, light 6/10

Thor is in every respect a perfectly fine movie. It's simple, it's straightforward, it manages to do a bunch of things and establish a brand new fantasy setting without actually putting much depth into any of them.

I suspect that, as I get further on in this franchise, 'perfectly fine and no great flaws' is going to be the verdict on a lot of these movies, and I'm going to start dropping my number rating lower and lower every time something shows up that's simply fine. For now, with the context of only IM1 and 2, 'does light summer adventure flick competently with some sincerity and doesn't fuck it up' feels like an improvement over IM2's messiness, so that's where I'm rating it.

Except for the sound design. Anyone who thinks their battle sequences need sound effects roughly 800% of a standard dialogue scene should be forced to watch their own movies with the sound on a pair of unremovable headphones set to a flat however-loud-it-needs-to-be-to-hear-people-talking. Perhaps, after the deafness ensues, they will change fucking careers.

[icarus-suraki]

Got this as a reply ages ago on my Ao3 post:

Yes, even that story.

Ao3 is not a platform. Ao3 is an archive.

Okay, so, this story was definitely not for the you, commenter. That's all there is to it. Not every story is for every person. And that's just how it is. And it's okay. There's an old saying in librarianship: "Every book its reader; every reader, a book."

But rather than freaking out, maybe we ought to query why the creator wrote and posted that story.

Because if they wrote it with the intention to be shocking and transgressive, they clearly succeeded. You, commenter, are shocked and find the whole thing extremely transgressive. Conceptually, it's a bit like novels that say drugs are great. Or like any number of commercially published novels that take on graphic murders. Horror novels have some fucked up shit in them sometimes and people who enjoy exploring intense emotions and situations in a fictional context read those without engaging in those behaviors.

For the record, I read a lot of "transgressive" literature and I'm out in the world with a job and a place to live and an internet connection. Meanwhile, fans of Christian fiction can be some of the most vicious beasts I have ever encountered. Thoughts?

This particular example, though, is also interesting because it's like inverse zoophilia/zoosadism--the human is the victim here, somehow. Zooisms have been a hot topic in recent years--so does this story stir up personal reactions to that topic? Is that the intention? I'm not about to defend acting zoophiles/zoosadists because they're literally engaging in animal abuse. Like, that's a crime. (Was the dog in this story a German shepherd? It's always German shepherds for some reason with the zoos.)

Or is the concern that this is the author's kink? Because there's a lot of concern over kinks anymore and whether a kink is acceptable or whether kinks are acceptable at all. Who is this story for? Someone with a similar kink? Don't start on the "consuming porn leads to more porn and more violent porn until you're a sexually-motivated serial killer" line because that comes out of a Ted Bundy interview and we all know he was a consummate liar. Again: horror fans read some fucked up shit. Mystery novel fans read some fucked up shit, even if they say the "good ending" absolves them of that. And they're not killing people.

Engaging with an unusual interest or desire on a level removed from reality is a much safer way to engage with that interest than in reality. Fiction is not reality. Movies are not reality. Theater is not reality. BDSM is theater and theater is not reality. These are all things with a remove from reality, which lets one engage with an interest without harm to self or others.

I can guarantee you that there are stories just as, if not more, distressing to you, the commenter, in notebooks and computer files all over the world. They still exist though they aren't published. You don't have to have read a story like the above to find a socially dangerous interest like this. These things can arise in relative isolation. Source: I grew up before the internet became what it is now and I have seen some shit.

The fact that this particular story was posted online suggests a desire on the part of the author to share it. Why would they want to do that? To shock readers? To find people with similar desires? Publication/posting implies a desire for responses. Why do you think this story was written? Why do you think it was shared? Who is the intended audience?

I'm sorry this story upset you, commenter. It absolutely sucks to get blindsided by a story (or any kind of media) that you find upsetting. It's certainly happened to me and I didn't like it either. I have had a lot of religious anxiety for most of my life and getting surprised by Chick Tracts being left around in the bookstore where I worked was not a good time. So, yes, I sympathize.

But it's impossible to control what billions of humans are going to be saying, doing, writing, or interested in. You can't stop people from writing fucked up shit, as much as you would like to. The best thing you can do is create a system to alert others about what, if anything, might be distressing in a piece of media. This is why, if one is usual Ao3 like a lending library and not an archive, there are content warnings, age recommendations, and tags. You can't control what everyone else is doing, but you can and should protect yourself as much as necessary. And, yes, that does mean that you have to deal with things that you don't like existing in shared spaces in the world. You may have to work on coming to terms with that. And yes I am serious. I have had to do the same thing in my life.

Also I have a lot of questions. How did you find this story? Was it by accident or was it intentional? What was the story "about"? How was it written? Was it genuine or was it a troll? Was the dog cognitively on a level with a human? How canine/anthropomorphized was the dog in this story? Was this Scooby Doo fanfic? Was this werewolf fanfic? Are you concerned that dogs will read this story and go on to rape eleven year-olds?

So why would someone write a story in which an eleven year-old gets raped by their dog?

And, gang, I anonymized the commenter on purpose. Don't go seek them out.

[freakymcnastys]

“possibly in michigan” a creepp book - headcannons

general headcannons:

slenderman is british.

despite what people might think the mansion is way bigger on the inside

it has its own theater, bar, hell even a convenience store, no one actually knows how the store gets stocked

ben is too scared to go down there bc of that

the slender brothers come over every thanksgiving and christmas but offender is limited to the living room and dining room…

sally FORCES jeff to dress up for tea parties

jeff cuts his own hair but is surprisingly good at it

thinking about how smile dog is basically jeffs therapy dog :(((

jack has def tried to eat jeffs kidneys but give up cuz jeff woke up 💔💔

toby is an AVID game theory/matpat stan like he loves watching everything matpat is in so when he announced his retirement….lets say it was ROUGH.

slender puts all of sally’s drawings on the fridge and when they isn’t enough room he would rather buy another fridge then get rid of them

masky is like the stressed out older sibling 🤷‍♀️

ben has drank paint.

has a snapchat gc where they send each other snaps

whenever slender and jeff (or anyone for that matter) talk/argue slender has to bend at a 90 degree angle 😭😭

devon’s headcannons:

definitely butt dials people and scares the shit outta them 💀

going along with that devon totally prank calls people with ben and is like “is ur refrigerator running” 😭

her and jack watch reality tv shows (love and hiphop, dr phil, kardashins, etc)

devon’s fav movie is donnie darko…😁

she always sends jack funny tiktoks while he sends her reels

her chainsaws name is jellybean !

sometimes when she goes out with the proxys she brings fake slender pages (saying stuff like “bitchless” and the entire bee movie script) and hangs them up (but slender always finds them and yells at her)

her fav slenderbrother is probably trenderman

PERSONALLY i think that like the demon and jack are two different ppl so like whenever ‘the beast’ gets out it’s not rlly jack? yk?

so one time ‘the beast’ was fed up with jack actually letting himself feel feelings for devon that he brought devon to the tree where she got hung, to kill her 😁 but dw he failed but jack felt bad after ☹️👎

has told hoodie to ‘turn that frown upside down’….

goes up to masky and gets up real close and whispers… “i know what you are..” and just walks away..

maxine’s headcannons:

isn't quite used to newer slang so she still talks how people in the 1920s did and nobody really understands her that well...

she hates her cellphone and WILL NOT use it unless it's direly needed.

she definitely has a record collection but it's all jazzy and "old-timey" music and she does not let anyone else near her records or her record player

she would teach ben how to ballroom dance and then force him to have dancing sessions with her because her favorite thing to do when she was human was to dance at parties

slenderman FOR SURE banned smoking in the house but maxine is allowed to break that rule so she waltzes around the house with her huge cigarette holder bullying jeff cause he definitely wants to smoke.

she generally dislikes getting help with wounds and stuff because of all the malpractice that was preformed on her when she was human

the phantom of the opera (1925) is her absolute favorite movie and one day slender comes back from the store with the 2004 version and she literally falls in love with him right at that moment

she's like your grandma that 1. doesn't know how to work her phone (or tv or anything) and 2. says things that she thinks mean one thing and they actually don't... like for example....maxine: im sending lols jack: maxine someone died...why are you laughing out loud... maxine: oh i thought that meant lots of love :( jack: oh my fucking god bro

the effects of her lobotomy pop up from time to time when she's doing stuff so sometimes she loses the ability to focus and kind of "dumbs down" because people who are lobotomized often lose their higher levels of intellectuals and then she loses the ability to emotionally respond so slender has to help her out and keep an eye on her cause she might do something dumb. :(( then once she comes back she feels so bad that slender had to basically babysit her and he feels worse cause how could anyone do his love like that

IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS BUT- maxine and slenderman compliment eachother so well. he's a gentleman and she's a ladylike woman and they just...fit perfectly together

her favorite modern (ish) movie is the shining cause it reminds her of the good old days and she would be like "ah yes i remember when people would kill at parties" and everyone else is like "what"

her 1920s brain loves coloring books cause she's probably never been stimulated via colors so she has a bunch of coloring books and people come over and are like "slender i didn't know you found a child" and he's all like "oh no that's just maxine"

i think sometimes she forgets she doesn't live alone and she will walk out of her room in her underwear and is like "oh great heavens my bad gs"

- love always, kat + devina <3

[cellarspider]

16/30 Chemically inert

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⛬

We return to a movie whose biggest enemy is its own script, Prometheus. This is the second post today, because the previous one was so awful and I had very little context to add beyond anger.

So, now we come to a scene that made me wonder in the theater: what the fuck is going on with straight people?

A tangent is required at this moment, before we get back to pondering this question. Some of my friends like to watch their favorite science fiction shows with me, particularly if they have to do with genetics. Orphan Black, for example. This is because it is understood that I will regularly call out “Pause!”, and then they get to sit and listen to me alternatively praise or sputter over the fictionalization of my field of study. 

“Look. Their genetic material pre-dates ours. We come from them.”

Pause!

This is, probably, meant to hammer in the premise of the movie to a lay audience. However, the way she phrased it left me confused for a good long minute, trying to figure out what the fuck she meant. We don’t speak of any extant species as “pre-dating” another, even if they look exactly like their fossilized ancestors: all modern organisms are modern organisms. They have been continuously evolving the whole time they’ve existed. What we talk about is species diverging from each other. We didn't come from chimpanzees, or from neanderthals for that matter: we diverged from them.

(https://news.wisc.edu/naledi/) 

If I were to try and explain what she actually means by this: The particular Engineer they sampled from possess genetic sequences that are present in our evolutionary precursors, but have been lost in humans. That, and/or the Engineer possesses no sequences that are specific to modern Homo sapiens. 

To which my response is: no shit. They’re eight foot tall, completely hairless humanoids, surrounded by advanced technology. This is not Futurama.

This still doesn’t answer all my other logistical problems with when they got involved on Earth, which I already rambled about at length. 

But now we get to the real mystery of the scene: why are straight people?

I’m asexual as a rock. No, not that rock. But I’m not sex-repulsed. Sexual media and art is fine by me, but Hollywood does such a shit job with romantic chemistry that I thought I was for quite a while.

Shaw and Holloway are a couple. We know this, because they are a pair of female and male adult humans who work together in a movie. They have held hands and smiled at each other. Honestly, if Holloway hadn’t called Shaw “baby” soon after they woke up from stasis, I wouldn’t have known. 

Admittedly, this may be due to the fact that my “flirting or not” radar is hilariously non-functional most of the time. I have been on dates before without realizing it. Multiple times. It’s that bad.

This is the scene where we are supposed to see how they are romantic together, and how they grapple with their present situation. Holloway froze a rose in the cargo, along with a bottle of champagne. The fact that he has already been drinking heavily will surely make this especially fun, I’m sure.

Shaw, at least, acknowledges “[t]his is The most significant discovery in the history of mankind,” though I’d argue whichever early hominin first saw the big bald bastards already called dibs on that. I appreciate the gesture toward understanding the enormity of this situation, but her behavior hasn’t demonstrated it so far. Holloway’s, however, is even worse, and I think we are supposed to take Shaw as the more staid and reasonable one because of this.

With this and her further evidence that the Engineers made humans, Holloway immediately says “Okay. I guess you can take your father's cross off now.”

Yes. This is what you should say, when you’re in a long-term relationship with a religiously devout person who lost one or both of their parents at a young age. Definitely.

I get what this is trying to do, thematically. This movie is about the creation of life. We have a religious character squaring her faith with a piece of information that is incompatible with the literal text of her religion’s doctrine. 

Funny enough, we have a lot of religious people who work in biology already. Unless your religion was created last tuesday, there is literally no way it won’t contradict with some aspect of what modern science has discovered. People create the mental space for the supernatural, either merging or separating it from their field of expertise. Or they may not believe in the supernatural at all, instead subscribing to belief systems that provide an ethical and behavioral framework for their lives. 

A lot of scientists who are religious state that their religion is part of why they study the material world: Out of a love for the world, a call to aid others, or because the act of learning is seen as divine in itself.

This is also the kind of conversation that, frankly, two lunatics who believe in ancient alien contact with Earth should’ve had a long time ago. ‘Hey, you believe that big men from space were talking to the Sumerians, how’s that fit in with the whole Christianity thing for you?’

But no, he’s going somewhere hilariously baffling, via a direct route through the state of Wildly Insensitive as he barrels along the Clunky Dialog Highway.

“But here's what we do know: That there is nothing special about the creation of life. Right? Anybody can do it. All you need is a dash of DNA and half a brain, right?”

“I can't. 

I can't create life. What does that say about me?”

He FORGOT HIS LIFE PARTNER WAS INFERTILE.

“Ellie, that's not... I didn't mean… I wasn't talking about…”

Have you ever been so drunk that you made your girlfriend feel like Natasha ‘I’m a monster comparable to the Hulk because I was sterilized’ Romanoff in Age of Ultron

This is, as with most of the most thunderously clunky dialog in this movie, a plot point. There are ways they could’ve done this differently that I will get to at that time

But you know what’s even more baffling about this? Apparently that didn’t kill the mood.

It makes the next scene where Janek seduces Vickers with a jumpscare accordion and “Are you a robot?” almost make sense.

Or, frankly, Idris Elba and Charlize Theron are acting wizards who somehow managed to strangle some chemistry out of that scene.

Next time, the not-so-little death!

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Citations for alt-text rambles:

https://archive.org/details/abbott-and-costello-meet-the-mummy 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Nepenthes_cultivars 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecce_Homo_(Garc%C3%ADa_Mart%C3%ADnez_and_Gim%C3%A9nez)#Failed_restoration_attempt_and_internet_phenomenon 

https://youtu.be/cZyj6GECjZ0 

https://youtu.be/nRr1t80TayE 

http://www.totheescapehatch.com/2012/06/escape-by-playing-stephen-stills.html 

https://www.discogs.com/artist/236968-Stephen-Stills 

Overflow Ramble 1 

I want it noted at the start here: I try to use screenshots where everyone looks as dignified as they can without losing objects or gestures I want to comment on, because otherwise it breaks flow. I could not find a screenshot where Shaw wasn’t stickin h leggy out real far, or making this extremely weird face. I tried. The movie defeated me.

Medium wide shot of Shaw sitting on a couch (loose pillows that don’t have velcro surfaces to keep them in place if the ship rolls), with Holloway in reverse shot, sitting on the other side of a coffee table (no lip to catch rolling objects), with a rose sitting in a cup between them. Shaw is about to stand up, and has just the most goddamn weird expression on her face. 

In the background is a side table (does have a lip, not tall enough to do anything), with a lamp (might be magnetized/gripped to the surface, doesn’t look it), a pile of books (falling hazard), a stick of incense burning in a cup (falling AND fire hazard), and, as previously noted during Vickers’ introduction, there’s the required Cultured White Person African Art Pieces just sort of. Leaned on a tiny little shelf in the background (how have they not fallen over already). Finally, a tropical hanging pitcher plant can be seen hanging behind the lamp, probably a Nepenthes cultivar. Did David keep these alive for two years? 

There is a bewildering buttload of Nepenthes cultivars, with an active enthusiast community in Japan. So, SO many of the cultivars are called ‘[Adjective] Koto’ (cite 2). Like, to the point where someone was clearly breaking out the dictionary to find more words for Koto. Decorous Koto. Effulgent Koto. Effulgent Koto again, there’s two of them. Elfine Koto. Emotional Koto. Felicitous Koto. Feminine Koto. Feverish Koto. Igneous Koto. Immobile Koto. And that’s as far as the Kotos go, apart from Zonal Koto. Somebody in 1984-1994 was literally going A-Z on Kotos before they suddenly stopped at I, turned around, and went back up to throw in Gerontic Koto and Ferny Koto.

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[nectariii]

❀ building 13 movie theater headcanons !! ❀

YURRRR !! went to da movies earlier today so i kept imagining specific nanbaka characters in like cinema situations :P cinemations...cinetuations...?? YEAH-

rock is finding a way to smuggle in an outrageous amount of snacks. bro's got candy in his sleeves and chips in his pockets. originally only brought them for himself but ofc the rest of cell 13 beg him for a bite and he lets them cus thats just who he is. despite how much food he brought in he still finds himself missing the beginning of the movie bc he couldn't resist the heavenly scent of overpriced popcorn

nico is a slushy FANATIC. mixin' all the flavors, dumping candies in it n shit. totally the kid in the back of the movie theater slurping the last drop out of the cup hella loud when a quiet, tense moment is going down in a film. hajime's annoyed but stares daggers at anyone who tries to shush him. NICO'S FAV SLUSHY FLAVOR IS THE RED CHERRY ONE !!

uno, bless his heart, is absolutely the person who tries to predict the movie's plot before and during it. and the bad part is he's usually right. also the kinda guy to be scarily good at guessing what the characters are gonna say next lol

jyugo actually likes the movies more than you'd expect. always pockets the 3d glasses just cus he thinks they're cool and he likes that he can spend time with the rest of cell 13 without a heavy focus on talking or interacting. it's also a bonus that it's dark and he can sleep if he gets bored

it took FOREVERRRR to drag tsukumo out to the movies. hc that he's a much bigger fan of media without human actors in it because it reminds him less of his past, so the movie he went out to see with the rest of them was definitely animated. also likes the dark because it makes him feel stealthy, but he has a bad habit of stepping on each and every piece of popcorn or puddle of nacho cheese in the aisles...also insists on using the photo booth whenever he does hit up the cinema cus despite it all he still really likes getting his picture taken

yamato volunteers to wait on the snacks and carry them in while everyone goes ahead to take a seat in the theater. previews end and the movie is 15 minutes in but he still isn't there. everyone thought it was because the food was taking long to come out, but it's just because he forgot which theater to go to and kept circling until hajime and seitarou found him. prolly has trouble locating which seat to go to on his own cus he finds the letters and numbers confusing and hard to see in the dim light (totally not projecting)

seitarou has perfect movie etiquette and tries to get everyone else to follow his example, usually to no avail. his only problem is that he's too considerate of others and thinks he's being impolite when he's really not. the type to take the smallest bite of his food and tiniest sip of his drink so he doesn't disturb anyone. the kind to walk all the way around to the other side of an aisle because he doesn't wanna ask someone to pull back their seat for him to pass. poor guy, he even double-checked to see if his phone was on do not disturb and got shushed because his brightness was all the way up </3

andddd hajime. he's usually the sponsor for these outings since yamato literally can never find his wallet and seitarou doesn't have the heart to tell the others not to drain his bank account by buying ever concession there is. he doesn't let the inmates go wild with snacks and makes sure they behave properly while in there. uno tries to get the inmates to sneak over to another theater and catch the next showing but hajime catches them and makes them pick up the teensy bits of food they left on the ground. he's also the one who has the final say on what movie they actually go to, and even though he says he checks the ratings and plot beforehand because he "doesn't want to watch a shitty movie", it's actually because he wants it to be worth everyone's time and appeal to all of them at least a little bit. dadjime for the win <3

[t1oui]

ok hear me out. after the war lily and james realize they're just good friends and the pressure of nearly being killed by the darkest wizard of their time sort of... sped things up for them. so they decide to break up and co-parent harry, and harry is chill with it b/c james lets him ride brooms whenever ("don't tell your mum") and lily lets harry cheer on teams that aren't puddlemere ("don't tell prongs").

and then one day harry says goodbye to his mum and goes to james's and starts sprinting up the stairs to tell james about this movie lily took him to see in a muggle theater when... why is regulus black, the professional quidditch player, in his house??

and eventually (it takes a while, harry got james's (un)observant genes) harry realizes jegulus is happening BEFORE HIS VERY EYES. and he ships it, definitely not just for the free puddlemere tickets.

lily begins spending more time with the lovegoods and their daughter luna, and eventually she takes harry to stay with them, too. so harry starts talking to luna about jegulus and luna just nods appreciatively like "yeah i know" bc she knows EVERYTHING and then one day they're walking in the meadow by luna's house and luna just randomly says "i saw our parents kissing" and harry is like WHAT

so it turns out while harry was busy watching his jegulus ship sail lily was getting... close with the lovegood parents. harry is surprised at first but then is chill with it and he and luna decide that their parents kissing means they are siblings. when they get back to the house and find lily, pandora, and xeno just sitting around chatting and being generally cute & fluffy they just announce that they're siblings now and their parents are trying to hold back laughs while saying like "yeah, yes, okay, you are"

but lily, who has been gushing to james about her partners while he gushes about reg, forgot to tell james about this development. so next week when harry comes over and starts talking about luna james immediately owls lily to be like "hey since when did harry have a sister?? should i know about this??" and lily, reg, and pandora collectively lose their shit b/c of course james found out about luna and harry deciding to be related via harry's neurodivergent stream of consciousness.

so then when they go to hogwarts it's the golden trio + neville (b/c i said so) and luna, who is Probably a Seer™️. also luna is good friends with cho and cedric b/c i said so (this happens during harry's 4th year and luna's 3rd).

also nuna exists (B/C I SAID SO). neville still took ginny to the yule ball (platonic soulmates fr), but neville ended up dancing more with luna, who went alone. he also gives her his shoes when hers get stolen.

nobody really knows about luna and harry being siblings since people don't really know about jegulus or xenopandalily, but this does not stop harry from giving nev a Protective Older Brother™️talk behind the greenhouses. nev respects harry and is also terrified of him b/c of this.

everybody lives, nobody dies, and they all live happily ever after. (and harry may or may not kiss cedric at some point. cho and luna may or may not definitely have a betting pool on whether they will.)

i will probably write more random drabbles for this idea, if not a whole fic or two when i have the time, b/c i adore it and i adore sibling!luna&harry.