#and if I said I need to be bullied by the both of them at the same time then what

[amnayel]

some time since I talked about twst lore but here’s my take:

silver wont ob, but he isn’t leaving unscathed from this

I have seen a lot of people talking about the possibility of silver overblotting but here’s the thing

for ob to occur you need both: using more magic than you should AND accumulated negative emotions

Idia explains this (dont remember if it’s in chapter 6 or 7) put ob only happens when the mage have been accumulating these negative emotions for a long time, and we have seen this is the books: every single ob boy had a very traumatic upbringing

silver doesnt have that

silver is a good person that even the animals in the forest take care of him, he has had a dedicated father a loving brother liege and a best friend/rival for all his life

silver was never alone, he didn’t have absurd expectations put onto him, he wasn’t a servant, he wasn’t bullied, he didn’t had his whole life decided at birth… silver had a pretty good life, normal even

so he doesn’t fit the criteria necessary for a ob, but it’s pretty obvious by now that the boy is not okay

and this is probably a major turning point in the story

I think we were so focused on Lilia that we forgot that the last straw for malleus ob was actually silver

malleus was lost and he didn’t knew what to do, when he saw silver crying he finally lost it and realized what he could do to solve this problem

I think we tend to forget that malleus raised this boy, he brought him food from the palace he sang him to sleep he watch over his training… malleus was there for the entirety of silver’s life

i dare to say that malleus has a soft spot for sebek and silver (Halloween 2024 I’m looking at you) and this is precisely what is going to get him out of his ob: he won’t be able to hurt them

and I’m pretty sure that “silver not being able to wake up” theory will come true in some way

mama shroud said that malleus spell is so fuckin complex that literally only him can indo it, even maleficia wouldn’t be able to, this hints that malleus really won’t be defeated by being overpowered, but by being convinced to undo the magic

and what is more convincing than having the boy you raised, the son of your father, collapsing right in front of you… because of you?

so in the end, the lost (prince)ss that was sleeping in a castle full of thorns is awaken by true love, and the evil dragon is defeated by a silver sword craved onto his heart

malleus being the one to break silvers curse of being constantly sleepy and silver being the reason malleus is freed from the ob monster…

well thats what happens when you learn to love humans I guess lol

[namtanlovesfilm]

off's BD gathering 2025

hi hi! so I thought I'd gather my personal thoughts as well as the important talking points off talked about during the gathering!

first of all, I was super surprised to be able to get a seat to the gathering this year. last year I didn't get a seat at all & I was super sad so this year felt unreal, hence why I didn't talk about it online until it happened by fear of jinxing it (I tend to have random bad luck sometimes so now I keept cards close to my chest lol).

I didn't know at all how the gathering would go since it was my first one, but it was pretty casual & quite short which was good bc I was there on 4 hours of sleep due to the excitement for this event (I can never sleep before any off/offgun event I go to lol)

I ended up sat next to a quite famous twitter account & she was super nice, she first talked to me in english but by the end she saw that I was laughing at the jokes, etc. and asked me if I spoke thai so I said yes and it led to a funny moment lol. her & the woman on my left both complimented my thai so that's always pleasant 🥹

now the man of the hour, p'off! I loved his denim look today with the eyes all over his shirt, and obviously I won't bore you by repeating how amazing he is & how much I love him. he offered every fan a red enveloppe after the gathering which was so fucking sweet, imagine doing that for the 700 people who came!

his mom, sibling & niece and nephew niring & akin came to support him and it was super sweet! of course his ride or dies, gun, tay, new and arm came to celebrate his birthday as well! now onto the contents of the gathering:

burnout syndrome:

p'off revealed that burnout syndrome has started its workshops already!!! that's so exciting!!! I really didn't have hope to get this show in 2025 but maybe there's hope this time around!!!

he talked about dewgun's chemistry and when asked about offdew, he seemed to not want to push it further. I didn'tg understand 100% of what he said so let's wait for other translations but he DID mention the idea of a offgundew three-way ship!!! soooooo... let's see 👀

off talked in length about him getting fit, and mentionned again that p'nuchie kinda bullies him ngl 😭 like she legit called him and said "if you don't get a six pack for this project, you better quit. you're old, people are gonna get bored if you don't change" which... idk how to feel about ngl hahaha

not really burnout syndrome related but off talked briefly about not me & how challenging the workshops for it were, mentioning the workshops for burnout that are apparently also difficult. he says he will bring something new & better to his acting for this role.

break up service:

sadly off said that he has no idea when the show will air but it should be soonish? I feel like the show is gonna get pushed by gmmtv giving priorities to other shows first :((((( me who was thinking we'd get the show in 2 to 3 weeks lol... I need off on my screen asap!

fans:

speaking of break up service & his ship with jorin, off said he is very glad that babiis never harass or treat his female co-stars badly. he mentioned mild, pat and jorin, and how all three were glad to not be bullied by the fandom lol... thank goodness babiis are healthy & supportive for the most part 💚

before that, out of nowhere, off went on a tangent talking about certain toxic fans and how much he doesn't like them and is glad babiis are kind & supportive. he said he used to be more aggressive with fans in the past if they crossed a line, but babiis have behaved better since then so he's appreciative for his healthy fandom. (this was really out of nowhere & I LOVED off mentioning that. I love how straight forward & how unwilling to walk on eggshells he is. a KING.)

offtay:

before tay even showed up, off mentioned tay at least 4 times in random convos lol. you can tell he LOVES and is obsessed with his bestie, it's so cute!

tay hugged off after saying he loves him, something that they both recognized they never say bc while they know they love each other, off gets shy & doesn't like to say it out loud lol

oh also tay started his birthday wish to off by calling him "nong off" and ngl... that did something to me 🥵

offgun:

gun was, as always, very quiet & shy lol. off did say that he loved him while confessing his love to every friend present there, and... it was giving awkward idiots in a romcom lol (basically off was explaining how he doesn't say I love you to his friends and pointed to each of them while saying "I love you" but stumbled on his words when he got to gun diosuhgzqsijdiezo)

tay called gun off's "thirak" (darling) and tried to get gun to confess his love for off but gun had the definition of a gay panic and kept flailing his hands to refuse the mic, I was dead lmaoooooo

offnew:

offnew's chaotic energy is really slowly becoming my all time fave lmao, new called off old & they kept whispering to each other while tay did his speech, it was so funny!

offarm:

arm literally called off his brother and his family, sooooo... yeah. that's all. I adore them. besties for life ;_;

personal life:

off apologized a lot about not uploading a lot on social media these days. he said he is addicted to staying home and watching cartoons (anime), specifically attack on titans lol. he says he's gonna get back to posting more very soon.

off said his biggest dream as a kid was to have a house with a pool. now that he's building his house, he feels like his dream is coming to life 💚

he said he's not someone who loses sleep over things. he knows that he'll be better to solve a stressful problem the next day after getting some sleep rather than not sleeping & being too tired to solve the problem bc of it (I'm very jealous of him I could NEVER. once again I slept 4 hours bc I was so excited to see him lol.)

he also said his goal for 2025 is to travel to the US, either for a trip or for work. he talked specifically about new york & miami (I was cringing internally bc I'd rather not he goes to the US rn lol, but NYC do be that bitch imo)

alice said off is trying to get better at english for his interfans but he refused to speak on stage bc he was too shy hahaha (but he spoke english to me tho 🥹)

off also said he almost never smiles with teeth (except when a client requests it) bc he thinks he looks weird & is insecure about his smile ;_; (first time I heard this omg I felt so bad his smile with teeth is literally my fave!!!)

off also talked about how straightforward he is, and how that used to cause him problems in the past and how gmmtv crew asked him to tone it down lol. but alice rightfully said that that's what we love about him, he doesn't have a filter & that's why we stan! it's so rare to get an honest celebrity these days lol

events:

off talked about the babii 24/7 concert, and especially the part when he cried. he said it was mostly due to tiredness, bc he was doing so much at the time (and yes at the time of the concert he'd been working & traveling non-stop for over 2 months while grieving his dad's super recent passing...)

he also talked about going to paris for the fashion week, and how big of an achievement it was. he said it was crazy to meet pharrell williams, his idol since he was young, and he was happy to hang out with baifern even if it was short. he also said he was so shocked that the crowd in front of the venue was waiting for him and calling his name 🥹 he said he stayed under the rain to sign the autographs and was soaked, but it was an amazing experience. he also said he wishes tay had been with him so they could explore the city together ;_; (as previously said he mentionned tay a LOT)

he talked about the recent fanmeet in rome, and how certain fans flew from all over the world to meet him there. he compared rome to ayutthaya due to their ancient monuments (which made me chuckle but actually the comparison is not that far off I guess HAHAHA)

he talked about the pebaca concert and said we should all dress up to come to the concert (not sure what that fully entails lol). he also said he can't say too much but there will be some special thing there (which he said is best bc he said he can't carry a show with his poor singing and dancing, and... sir we disagree. at least about the singing lol.)

anyways that's it! it was an amazing experience & I always feel so grateful to be able to partake in fandom experiences here in bkk 🥹 this is the kind of shit I always dreamed about when living in paris & I legit never thought it'd be possible to be this close to my favorite guy ;_; happy birthday to him again & I can't wait for this upcoming year of loving him more & more 💚

[lady-dragon-rider]

The Towers Lost Maiden Pt.4

Targaryen Fam x Hightower! Reader

With the Driftmark incident behind the Targaryen family, and tensions strained to their fullest. Reader must take drastic action to purge the rot that nips at their families heels. The threat of potential war being the consequence for failure.

Containing: both cannon divergence and cannon adherence (as necessary), protective dragons in all forms, daemon living for not being the family drama for once (for a little at least, some time skip, more sucession drama, death, blood and violence

Featuring: daeron mention (will make an appearance soon), Aemond being petty aka mild bullying offscreen (aemond milks Luce’s punishment)

Next part>

<<Previous Part

---

The next morning arrives without further incident. Now, you sit in a chair facing a weathered old maester, who sews the cut on your arm.

“You are fortunate your grace, the blade was Valyrian steel, so the cut was a clean one. It will scar, but it will heal well.”

“Thank you Maester Mordin” you mumble, wincing again as the he finishes the final stitch. Aemond and Aegon watch on silently. When Maester Mordin moves to Aemond to check on him, Aegon round the table from the other side, coming to grab your unwounded hand. The doors open and Aemma walks in quickly. Without a word she reaches you, delicately tracing the skin around the stiches.

“What is to be done with your sister?” She mutters cooly

“I will deal with it love, trust me. Ill be handling it shortly.” You speak quietly. You stand slowly. “Boys, go with your mother to breakfast, i will join you shortly.”

“But Mother-”

“Please dont argue my love. Ill be quick and then be right back at your sides.” You reassure, pressing your hands to your childrens cheeks. They both look like they want to say more to you, but they eventually leave the room with Aemma. She has her arms around them comfortingly as the door clicks behind them. You motion for the gaurd by the doors attention. “Bring my sister Alicent to me at once.”

---

“Sister-” Alicent gasps

“My decision is final.” You state coldly “it was like i didnt even know you last night. My sweet, wonderful sister, who likes reading and embroidery, attempting to attack A Child in the name of Justice? Vengeance? Against a Child? ” You sneer

“I admit it was not my finest moment. i acted in a moment of weakness… know i regret my actions. That my love for you and your children is what makes me so protective, you have always done so much for me… always shown restraint and wisdom… please, know this and forgive me.” Her voice cracks. For a split moment you can see her; that young girl from all those years ago, clinging to your skirts and crying during thunder storms… who came to you to read her stories before bed…. and the girl who came to you in the middle of the night because she didnt want to marry the king.

“This IS mercy” You murmur strongly “But… i may find it in my heart to give you leniency if you answer this question”

“Of course-”

“Were you the one to spread the rumors of Luce and Jace?”

Alicent stops mid answer. The air choked from her lungs. She looks at you with a shocked expression. Your eyes stare through hers with a cold stormy expression,

“If you cant answer that, then were you the one who told Aemond these lies?” Again, your question is met with silence, alicent looking away, the picking her nails indicating all you need. You heave a sigh, now knowing the truth.

“Then the decision still stands; you are to prepare yourself for the journey back to Oldtown. Ill arrange to have your posessions from your chamber sent there to meet you.”

“And if i said i did?” She interjects “that i did because their very existence is an insult to everything that you have gone through? Everything you sacrificed to save me? So that i wouldnt have to betray someone i thought a firend? That she uses your love for her to protect her from her misdeeds?”

“Then i would say that i didnt think you would be so vindictive and spiteful. That you, of all people, after all the lessons i tried to teach you, could be so short-sighted. Do you know the danger such slander holds for my children? That by putting such things to question you threaten their safety with the threat of civil war. Such that would burn everything away and leave everything i did for you naught.”

“How can you not see they arent true born?” She pleads “you cant be blind to the truth!”

“They are my grandsons. With Targaryen dragons to show their lineage” You affirm “the only thing i was ‘blind’ to was not seeing my sister straying from my side… who let darkness and lies into her heart. No doubt from the heartbreak of losing her friend and having no true comfort of her own. For that i am sorry… i never meant to leave you alone”

“(Name)…”

“You will go back home to Oldtown. You will speak no more on these fictitious rumors. And hopefully finding a suitable match and some time away will help soothe you.” You take Alicents hands gently, squeezing and rubbing her knuckles with you thumbs. You both smile sadly at each other. kissing her temple you mutter “please find happiness, this is all i wish for you. We will be with each other soon, i promise.”

You then motion for the guard to escort her back to her rooms, and head to the hall for breakfast.

---

“I still cant believe you talked to her. After all she did, you have a much better temperament that i your grace” Rheanyra sighs. You both watch as the dragons fly over head; back home to kings landing. “I wouldve had her head…”

“Nyra, darling you dont mean that…” you scold gently

“But i do!” She barks voice wavering. “She hurt you… she tired to hurt my son.” Her tone turns cold when she finishes her statement. Delicately, she rolls the sleeve to judge the wound. You can hear her harshly suck in a breath as she traces around the wound; like Aemma had done ealier. She speaks quietly in High Valyrian, with a scowl permeating her face.

“Fret not dear, she is on her way back to Old Town, and she wont be back unless i allow it.” You reassure. Rheanyra huffs childishly, and holds your hands tightly. “That matter is settled. Now, we will need to look to the future, i doubt itll be the last time we will need to discuss the boys succession… now that the seeds have been planted.” You grumble. You loved Alicent truly, but she sometimes made things so difficult. You both look out towards the sea again, the figures of dragons now a little smaller against the horizon.

---

You were right when you said it wouldnt be the last time youd need to discuss Driftmarks succession. You stand next to Aemma, who sits on the iron throne in place of Viserys, weary expressions on your faces as you listen to Vaemond drone on again; with yet another petition for driftmark, claiming Rheanyra’s children illegitimate and him the rightful successor. With Corlys on his rumoured death bed and with the death of Leanor, Vaemond had wasted no time in calling forth a meeting of the court.

As either side said their piece; Vaemond with his 'My blood is of true Velaryon descent’ and Rheanyra again stating that the matter had already been discussed at length years earlier, the silence with so deafening that you would be able to hear a pin drop.

“I would get a blade and show you princess but im afraid it would look unfamiliar to you.” He snarls.

“That is enough Lord Vaemond, this is the second attempt you have made to undermine your uncle Corlys’s verdict on Driftmarks succession. The only person here who would know his wishes most intimately would be the princess Rheanys.” Aemma states, the wrinkles around her eyes showcasing her tiredness at this debate. She, along with Viserys, had seemed to aged rapidly, almost as if the throne itself had finally succeeded in saping their strength. It was either that or the constant in-fighting between rambunctious relatives.

Rheanys steps forward and with little emotion on her face, cooly adresses the room. “It was ever my husbands wish to have Driftmark pass through his son Ser Leanor to his tureborn grandson Lucerys Velaryon. His mind never changed, nor did my support of him. The Princess Rheanyra has also informed me of her desire to wed her grandson Luce with Corlys’s granddaughter Rheana, a proposal in which i heartily agree.”

“Then the matter is settled… again. In my husbands name, i affirm that Lucerys Velaryon remains heir of driftmark, heir to the driftwood throne and the next lord of the tides.” Aemma sighs with a furrowing brow. Just as your about to assist the queen regent, you hear Vaemond scoff.

“You break law and centuries of tradtion naming your daughter as heir… and you dare tell me who gets to inherit the name Velaryon… No. I will not allow it” he grunts

“Allow it? You foget yourself” you scowl “Last time i checked Lord Vaemond, the Kings word IS law. And, by the word of King Jaehaerys himself, the princess Rheanyra’s right to the throne is protected by the widowers law. Or have you and the rest of the realm forgotten that piece of history? Along with bowing to her nearly 20 years ago.” You make no attempt to hide the bite in your tone, your eyes flaring in a protective rage. Out the corner of your eye you can see Aemma and Rheanyra smirk at your display. Aemma out of pride, and Rheanyra from vindication of your backing.

Vaemond chews his lips and with a clench fist, directs his anger to Luce again. “THAT! Is no true Velaryon… i will not see my line end at the hands of this…”

“Say it.” You hear Daemon whisper.

Please dont say it Vaemond. Dont do it

“Her children are BASTARDS… and she is… a whore” he finishes, his voice booming.

You pull out the knife on your hip, a gift from Rheanyra (and allegedly Daemon too) after the Driftmark incident. With a face of thunder, you begin the descent down the stairs.

“You will lose your tongue for those slanders.” You hiss.

Before you can get to him however his head swiftly meets the floor; his body falling neatly at your feet near the bottom of the stairs. Behind him stands Daemon, who wipes the blood from his sword.

“He can keep his tongue.” The look he gives you just as he turns to walk back to your step-daughters side, is one you cant quite read. Somewhere between a begrudging respect at your stepping in and a 'i protect this family… not you.’

Well that hopefully means he no longer hates you. Its a step. You guess. Sheathing the blade you glide back up the stairs to help Aemma. She is a bit shaky going down, your son Aegon is quick to grab her other side. Aemond stands vigil behind Helaena, his remaining eye alert and never straying to far from Daemon’s posistion. He guides the both of them to your side and you all make your way out of the hall. When you reach the Queens chamber, you help Aemma into a chair and then sit down yourself. Amid the silence you begin to writing your letters to your sister, brother and your son.

In you letter to Daeron you mention that he should most definitely come and visit, as 'the best part of being a prince with a dragon is that he need not seek permission in order to see family. He can simply do so as he wishes. And that if he ever wished to come and then stay, her could do that too.’

Writing to Gwayne was a joy to you. You enjoyed reading of the joyous moments he had with Daeron. If your song wasnt telling you directly through letters, then it would be read through his uncles boasting. You subtly write to him that your worried about Alicent, and to make sure she is being treated well.

Alicents letter… is a bit more vague. You try to overlook your nerves over what she has been getting up to as you keep her 'updated’ with the barest of details. You get the sense she may not fully realise the extent of the distance between through your writings, as she still writes so animatedly about the goings on in OldTown, even going so far as to ask for a visit. Its your hope you can keep it that way though you are mostly thankful that she seems a tad happier out of the suffocating air of Kingslanding. The thought of a visit sounds wonderful… but with the teetering health of your partners you find it hard to think of stepping away… the shadows that nip at the edges of court being ever fickle.

“Why the long face my love?” You hear the quiet voice of Aemma say “more letters from that infernal sister of yours?”

“Dearest please… but yes, she writes asking for a visit… saying she misses our time togther. The thought of visiting home would be wonderful… if things here didnt threaten to fall apart in my absence. Besides, i couldnt leave either of you to the jaws of that court and council.” You explain wearily. A touch of the hand stirs you from you spiral. Your wife smiles knowingly.

---

“Some letters have arrived your grace.” A messager announces as they hand you several neatly rolled scrolls of parchment. Responses from Alicent, Gwayne and Daeron. All of them hold the typical pleasantries, though your sons letter informs that he shall be returning home for a short time, wishing to see his siblings and mothers. You smile and go about your day, telling all who need to know of his return.

Later in the council chamber you sit in the position to Viserys left, opposite you is Rheanyra. You both eye each other tiredly as the lords try to make subtle attempts to weasel more power for themselves. Just as the meeting is to be concluded, Rheanyra coughs and call herself to attention. “I wish to say something quickly before we conclude”

Viserys grunts and nods tiredly “remain seated everyone.”

Rheanyra clears her throat before looking at you directly. “In light of recent discourse within our family… i would like to apologise for the roles mine played in it. And for the harm that has befallen the wounded parties…” you can see the way she spares a glance down at your arm; where the scar, now beginning to fade slightly, lay hidden beneath the sleeve. “i know no amount of apologies can fix it… but i wish to try and mend the rift between us once and for all. Jacerys will inherit the throne after me, i propose a marriage between him and your daughter Helaena. With it i hope we can finally, firmly unite our two sides for the times ahead.”

You nod and smile. “I think that is a wonderful idea. What say you dear?” You turn to Viserys, he smiles and nods in agreement. He takes your hand and Rheanyra’s as firmly as he can manage.

“A wonderful idea indeed, daughter.” He calls the meeting to an end and some maids help him stagger out of the chamber and back to his rooms. You round the table and subtly place your shawl over Rheanyra’s shoulders. She looks at you in confusion before you whisper quietly in her ear of the issue. She flushes a little but thanks you for the discretion. You both walk the halls arm in arm as you go to the Queen’s chambers for lunch. Where you mention to both that your son Daeron is on his way up for a visit.

---

“Mother you cant be serious!” Aegon gasps. Aemond too looks both shocked and mildly betrayed at the news.

“I am. You father has also approved so there is not going back on it.” You say firmly “from memory aegon i remember you saying 'so long as i dont have to marry her, she is weird’ when i brought up Helaena’s marriage prospects. I didnt realise you held such an interest now”

“I dont” he huffs, arms folded “she IS weird, but as fate would have it she is MY weird sister. And im not particularly fond of the idea of handing her off to Jace” he explains

“I thought you liked him, you were both quite close, with Luce as well. Close enough to tease one another and have fun in the training yard.”

“That was before driftmark” he snarks, eyes dark with rage. The room falls deadly silent.

“Is that because i got hurt? Or because Aemond did?” Aegon makes no move to reply, but you can see the way his fists clench and he fails to meet your eyes. You sigh and motion for both of your sons to come closer.

“I know this might seem like im rewarding them and punishing you. But im not, i promise. I want our family whole, if either of you sat in councils with me and your father you would see plainly how some of these lords try to rangle the reigns from our grasp because of the illness that renders the king; and therefore the crown, weak. Ive done my best to keep everything stable until your sister, the heir i remind you, can take the throne. In order for that to happen this family MUST remain as whole as it can be. I dont like the idea of pushing Helaena into a political marriage, but Jace will take his role seriously and will look after her, this much i know for fact.”

“I still dont like it” aegon pouts, his eyes distant as he stares into the fireplace

“I dont often agree with him mother… but i dont like it either. You have always been wise and made good decisions for the good of others and the realm… but i cant see it in this.” Aemond agrees

You squeeze their hands and stand to match their heights. “I understand you might not like it because you still hold some resentment in you for you eye my love, but Luce faithfully served his punishment to you… and if rumors are to be believed, and not all are, i have heard tell that you may have been a bit cruel to him during that period.” Aemond doesnt meet you eye with his. “They are your nephews. For all their faults and for all of yours, we are family. And when it comes to family we do our best to look out for and support one another. We can agree on this at least right?”

They both nod. You send them off with kisses and tell them that their younger brother will be here soon for a visit. That seems to brighten them a little when they leave your rooms for the night. you try and settle for the night but find the yourself unable to. You leave your chambers to cross the hall, feeling incredibly childish as you slip into Aemma’s chamber. She doesnt stir much as you gently lift the covers, and pull yourself in. Though she does turn over and in her dreamy-sleep filled state moves over to hold your arm. It eases you a tad, but the faint heaviness still sits in your gut as you both eagerly and anxiously wait to see how things unfold.

---

Taglist @your-favorite-god @juliette2

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

[cyber333angel]

exactly

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[empress-hancock]

Oh this is hysterical

[pa-pa-plasma]

kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment

[swagging-back-to]

nah literally nothing will convince me anyone has had a worse lifetime of birthdays than i have

[wilhelmloverera]

I need everyone asking "can't two gay guys just be friends" about Ned/Conor to stop being dumb thank you

[soov]

how many aura points do i get when ppl shut up when its my turn to talk and other 5 say they want to get to know me better 🙏🙏

[weezerlvr228]

It's giving the...main character syndrome. like who tf does she think she is??? Y/N???

NO OH MY GOSH ANON. LET ME TELL YOU. LET ME FRIGGIN TELL YOU.

[metranart]

— HAWKS + DABI + BAKUGO + SHIGARAKI || THINGS THIS LOVESICK BOYS SAY WHEN IN BED WITH YOU

-----------HEADCANONS-----------

HAWKS

“Oh, my darling...fuck, keep doing that.” 

“You're so beautiful, I'm so glad we found each other.”

“I know I’m a mess-… what else was I supposed to do while waiting to make you mine?” 

“Lay back and let me do all the work. I’ve dreamed of eating your pretty pussy all week.”

“Hey, don’t shy away from me. C’mere-”

“You’re so fuckin’ soft. Shiiit…”

“Hey—no teasing the feathers.”

“I n-need to-... I just-…-I’m going to start moving now.”

“Arms around my neck and legs around my hips— ngh! Gravity is a bitch, I don’t want you falling on me, at least, not literally.”

“What a good mate, you respond to me so well."

“I’m so fuckin’ deep, my pretty girl-”

“Fuck—I can’t... I’m not gonna last-”

“Don’t be embarrassed. I love when you squirt on my face.”

“God I’ve wanted this for so long. I’m going to breed your pussy every day, all day long, even after I’ve knocked you up.”

“We're both getting older, babe, and if we want to have more chicks than stars in the sky, then we need to get started.”

“Tell me you love me-… tell me again.”

“I do get ahead of myself often, but I can’t help it. I just know we belong together-” 

“What do you say we try for a baby this time?”

"You’d be adorable, so swollen and full that you can't walk, that you'd have to rely on me for everything...”

“Touch yourself, c’mon. Let me see how you play the right notes.”

“You're going to be a wonderful mother for my chicks.”

“Let me help you move pretty, put your hands on mine.”

“No one’s gonna hear if I put my hand here… no biting, hun.”

“I’ll make it quick, darling... just—let me… let me go again.”

“Need a hand or a finger?”

“Just wait, baby... Fuuuuck—give me a damn minute.”

“Keep your eyes on me.”

“Arch your back, there you go, such a good girl.”

“Fuck, even after cumming you aren’t ready to accommodate my size. Don’t worry, baby,” he kisses your creased forehead, “—then just the tip this time.”

“Shit, I can’t help it—” you can feel him twitching excitedly inside you. “I just like you so damn much!” He grunts and snaps his hips again, diving deeper. 

“Just bear with me, I swear I’ll eat you for hours after…. Please, pretty, pleaseeeee…” He kept his pace, practically purring with his throaty groans. 

“No matter how much you didn’t want to admit it, I know how to fuck you well, ain’t I, beautiful?” 

“C’mon let me hear you, I can feel you getting tighter… my cock’s rubbing those hard-to-reach places…. Fuck! I- slid in so easily.”

“I’m painfully close-…. Fuck, I don’t want to cum yet…”

 “Is this your sweet spot I’m bullying?” 

“Each thrust is inching you closer… should I slow down or go faster?”

“Deeper? Okey-… just try to keep it together, I have neighbors.” 

“Give me one more. please, just one more baby.”

“Try to keep your eyes open, I know it’s hard…b-but try for me beautiful.”

“Go ahead and sleep, honey, I’m not going anywhere.”

NSFW ART OF THIS HEADCANONS IN MY PATREON

DABI

“What’d I did to deserve such a pretty thing like ya?”

“I’ve barely touch you. You really that hot for me, sweetheart?”

“Open your legs, not gonna say it again.”

“Doesn’t hurt, its already scarred skin.”

“If I have to kiss your tears away again, you are gonna get it— I’ve already told ya, it doesn’t hurt anymore-”

“Bury your hands in my hair, yes... Just like that.”

“Stop pushing me away. You’re gonna take it all, don’t make me shove it down your throat.”

“You love to play the feeble act, but your moans give you away, princess.”

“Nuh-uh, you haven’t cum yet.”

“I said ass up.”

“You want it so bad? beg.”

“Take them off before I rip them off of you, doll. Don’t try me.”

“Harder,” he mutters, not a minute after you started. “Harder,” he demands again.

“Could you go any slower? Ride me like you mean it, princess. I know you can.”

“Can barely feel that shit. You gotta do better than that, princess. You know I like it rough.”

“Fuck,” he bit out. “Yes, fuck…. Just like that.”

“Come on pretty girl. Ride me till you’re numb, yeah? Want you to fuck yourself stupid on my cock today.”

“Move my hands again and see what happens-”

“Fuck—” 

“Sorry, baby-… I just had to jump at the opportunity to sink my cock deeper.”

“Sit on it.”

“Worried it won’t fit? We always make it work just fine—”

“I don’t have condoms, they’re annoying.” He grunts the reply, inwardly absorbed with impatience. 

“Don’t move—Just gimme a minute… F-Fuck…”

“You fuckin’ genius, dammit, I love you so damn much! Not even I knew that spot— …” He shakes his head, in disbelief of the pleasure, even more so that you been the one to give it to him.

“Did you do that on purpose, princess? ‘cause now we are doing it every time.” 

“Fuck that. Don’t know if you heard sweetheart, but you were made for me to fuck and breed.”

“Stop it, no more whining—I’ll do my best to be…. gentler.” 

“Really? resist me all you want. I know you love being treated like this.”

“Ridiculous, I could stare at your pretty cunt all day long.” 

“Fuck Yeah! I adore the way your thighs tremble like jelly after you cum.”

“Should I pull out? Nah, better give me a daughter to spoil.”

“Unless you were playing with yourself before I got here, I’m guessing this is because of my pretty face?”

“Over my knee, now.”

“Sure, I love ya— but you are not in charge here, princess. Fuckin’ spread them for me.”

“Want me to spank that pussy? lay on my lap then-”

“One’s never enough, I know my princess’s pussy and its begging for another.”

NSFW ART OF THIS HEADCANONS IN MY PATREON

BAKUGO (NSFW art teaser here!)

“Do you want me to fuck you harder, cutie?”

“You can be loud, I love to hear you, (Y/N).”

“I’ve waited so long for this...”

“That’s it... slow and easy—” 

“How much longer you gonna make me wait, baby?”

“You ever take it raw? Get a big load of cum in your pussy? —don’t shy on me, I know you love when I talk dirty to you.”

“Take it off before I tear it off.”

“Baby... please...I hate to beg-”

“Make me wait much longer and I’ll have to fuck you in an alley somewhere.”

“What a naughty little girl I have just to myself.”

“Ugh, so hot and wet.” 

“I said I wanted to eat your pussy, didn’t I? Just sit back and enjoy it, baby girl.”

“I’d hate to stop teasing you right before the fun part.”

“It’s so warm...”

“Who do you belong to?” 

 “Whose pussy is this? Say who you belong to.”

“God, what a good fucking cunt. It keeps clenching on my cock like it’s hungry for more milk. You want that? You want me to fill you up?”

“As you wish, princess.”

“You gonna cum?” 

“Go on, gorgeous. Cum on Daddy’s cock.”

“Fucking take it... take every drop...” 

“Nice and stuffed... all mine... my little slutty girl...”

“I said spread those fuckin’ folds.”

“So wet and tight, but my cock just slides right in. It’s like you were born to take me inside of your cunt.”

“Aren’t you a sight. All blissed out when we aren’t even done.”

“That’s right, darlin’. You didn’t think you could tease me for so long and get away with just one little fuck, did you?”

“Oh, did you think we were finished?”

“Did I stutter or somethin’?”

“Alright, baby girl, you asked for it. Just don’t come crying to me if you can’t move after I’m done with you.”

“Don’t move—Just a sec… F-Fuck…”

“No, this is-this is fine. This is beyond fine. Keep doing it, please.”

“Shit, darling, don’t-” 

“God, you make me so needy. Please.... fuck, please...”

“You feel so wonderful, I might go crazy—"

“More... please, more...”

“Fuck, I’m stretching you so good.”

“God, the thought of you ever doing something like this to anyone else... I can’t stand it.”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again. You’re my precious BABY, now and forever."

NSFW ART OF THIS HEADCANONS IN MY PATREON

SHIGARAKI

“It isn’t even a ‘might’. I can tell you right now with the utmost certainty that you are MINE.”

“Keep looking into my eyes, don’t you fuckin’ look away…”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head,” He coos in a demeaning tone. “I’ll be your first and your last. Not any of these other NPCs.”

“I can hardly keep my hands to myself, your room or mine.”

“I can do whatever I want to you, I’m player one!”

“I know, I’m keeping track of my digits, don’t worry your pretty head.”

“You are too precious to me to turn to dust, my love.”

“I can’t- I’m dying to breed you, to bury my cock in your wet pussy. Don’t move, I don’t want to hurt you, sweetheart.”

“My pants are uncomfortably tight, the fabric’s straining against my throbbing dick, I told you not to put on that dress, dammit” Shigaraki’s practically scratching at the wooden table, surges of arousal shaking him to his core. “Can we go now? Like right NOW?!”

“MY girl, so pretty and needy for my cock.”

“You want him dead. You got it.” Ruby eyes stare through his bangs up at your face in some sort of silent promise. “—Of course, I will. You are my everything.”

“It hurts. I need you to- FUCK, just like that.”

“Fuck, how-how are you this fucking wet and warm inside, fuck, fuck…!”

“Please fuck me.”

“H-hey, I know a fun game we can play together… It’s called ‘how many times can I make you cum all over my cock?’” 

“One point, five points, ten points—Cumming again? Are you shooting for a new high-score, sweetheart?”

“Now... care if I use my mouth on you?”

“Just be good for me, and I’ll take very, very good care of you.”

"Look at you, so worked up over a few couple of fingers, did you miss me that much, sweetheart?" 

“Just looking at you is enough to, oh fuck, drive me wild.”

"So desperate for my cock to stuff you-say it, say you want my cock—ngh!”

"S-Shit,"

"Needy girl, I'll let you have it, be fucking grateful." 

"What? Fainting on me already?"

"Don't let me see you doing this again, or else."

“Just fuck me. I need you, (Y/N), please. Please just fuck bury on me already...! I want it...! I want YOU..!”

“Have it your way then.”

"Keep licking my balls, oh fuck! I’m gonna die—"

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-!"

“You look so pretty choking on my cock.”

“Where do you want it, baby? Mouth, breast, face, pussy… take your pick-”

"Are you close, sweetie?" 

“My feisty little girl. Aren’t you just adorable?”

"Good girl. Give me a minute and I’ll clean up that mess you made." 

“Cum for me. Cum on my cock and show me that you’re mine.”

“I just... wanted to cuddle a little more, is all. Didn’t want to... you know, waste the moment.”

“Don’t you worry, my love. I’ll be sure to give you anything you could ever want and more.” 

“You don’t have to take me all the way into your esophagus, but I expect you to make me cum, and yes, I do want you to swallow.”

“Go on, get on your knees.”

“Ngh, that’s it, keep going...”

“You look so wonderful like this, with your lips wrapped around my cock. I wish I could take a pic for Dabi to swallow his words.” 

“I want you all to myself.”

“H-here it comes...Be sure... to drink... every.. last... drop...YOU ARE FUCKIN’ MINE!!”

I MADE SOME SICK NSFW ART FOR THIS HEADCANONS, YOU CAN CHECK THEM OUT IN MY PATREON. (Along with more MHA nsfw artwork)

[somnoir]

Damian's future husband

Got inspired by this specific line in a Tumblr thread and my brain went to work

Phantom was a strange hero—a vigilante that often worked with Justice League Dark. Constantine was always so antsy around the man, while Phantom himself often muttered about taxes and blasted fragments whenever said trech coat man was in the vicinity.

The Bats were, of course, initially apprehensive of the death defying being that could rip a man skeleton out of their body, manipulate space itself to rip open portals to different dimensions, and vanish better than they did. They were wary, mildly hostile after realising that Phantom had now issue killing.

But then time passed and Phantom was proven to not be a serial killer but only used killing as a last resort. Though Batman wasn't too pleased, he was—begrudgingly—tolerant of that. Because, yes, Phantom was a nice guy, a very likeable person in general. He made sure that the environmental damage during battles were kept to a minimum, he chose civilians over the enemy whenever it came to hostage situations, he was tactile and kind, and he cared so much for the innocent that he was willing to lose his innocence to keep theirs.

Of course Batman was fond of the young man, especially when he found out that Jason of all people had some sort of crush on him. A very big and almost pathetic one that he and Alfred would watch while sipping tea.

Seriously, Jason was his son! Has he not learned anything from his Brucie persona? The poor thing was like a Victorian maiden and would be scandalised at the mere thought of showing an ankle.

It was embarrassing how he'd practically start blue screening the moment Phantom was in the vicinity. As a father, Bruce was gracious enough not to bully his poor son whenever it came to Phantom. His siblings, on the other hand, held no such qualms and mercilessly dug into Jason.

In all honesty, he pitied Jason after hearing that Phantom assumed that Jason just didn't like him.

He really had to talk to him.

"You fucking hypocrite."

And that was a failure because Bruce forgot that he was just as constipated as his son.

"I'm not taking advice from the man who couldn't even try to be softer in his secret crush!"

With that, Jason slammed the door and left.

Okay... Plan B?

But what the hell was plan B?

Right.

Dick Grayson.

Bruce: About your brother...

Bird child #1: OH MY GOD

Bird child #1: THANK FUCK YOU FINALLY MENTIONED IT

Bruce: it's become an issue

Bruce: Alfred has commented that it's pathetic now.

Bird child #1: Wait wait

Bird child #1: I'll add you to the group chat!

And this Bruce Wayne found himself in a GC named 'Phantom of the Watchtower'. Along with all the complaints expressed by both family and friends when it came to Jason's bullshit.

Ah well... At least he wasn't alone in the suffering.

(Jason did not need to know that there was a video of him grappling through Gotham, Phantom passing by and waving at him, and Jason proceeding to hit a wall mid flight.)

Dick knows that his little wing has had trouble in relationships for a long time. His resurrection changed him, changed how he perceived his relationships. Dick didn't have the heart to be mad about it.

Phantom's arrival was a breath of fresh air for them.

But he suspects that Jason's attraction began with the fact that Phantom had died young as well. Fourteen from what was said. He had died much younger than Jason and had came back a hero, willing to protect the innocent and do what was best for those around him. Sometimes Dick suspects that Jason not only wanted to be with Phantom, but also to be similar to him.

Now he's watching Jason fumble with his words again, immediately going quiet once he realized that nothing coherent was coming out of his mouth. The helmet most likely hid how red his face was.

"Are you alright?" Phantom asked, frowning up at Jason. "You don't feel too good. Is the corrupted ecto acting up again? Oh, I knew I should have sped up the process of removing it but then it'd be very painful if I did it at once. And Frostbite recommended that we went slowly so we could monitor the side effect... And, and—"

"I'm okay." Red Hood immediately assured, his hand practically flying to Phantom's cheek then he shoved it down before he could even touch Phantom. "It's been a long day."

"Is the Joker out again?" Phantom's frown deepened.

Another thing Dick has learned about the dead and the undead! The fact that their murderer was still active unsettled then greatly and affected their entire mentality and behaviour.

"No. No. He hasn't tried escaping."

Phantom hummed, "I see. So what's bothering you."

"It's nothing." Jason grunted, sounding a little too much like Bruce for Dick's liking.

Okay, nope, he wasn't going to let this continue if his baby brother was going to continue making Phantom assumed he didn't like him. Nightwing to the rescue!

"Phantom! Hi!" Nightwing quite literally dropped into the alley, running his fingers through his hair and smoothly directing Jason away from whatever catastrophic misunderstanding he was walking into.

"Hello Nightwing! It's nice to see you again? How's Kori? Oooh! I wanted to invite her to a space date again—" He rambled on and on, eyes practically starry. Wait, nevermind. His eyes really were starry.

(Meanwhile, Jason was cursing his older brother for taking the attention from but also very thankful that Phantom didn't have to witness his stupidity again.)

Tim had noticed that the Joker hasn't attempted to break out in a long... Long time.

It's not a bad thing, no. It was great, in all honesty. But of course, Tim was paranoid, almost batshir crazy (pun intended, in the words of his damn boyfriends). The surveillance feed on Arkham was updated a long time ago, watching it very closely until static overtook the screen.

"Replacement," Tim startled, blinking before he saw Jason peering at him with a questioning look. Practically interrogating him on the spot. "The hell is that?"

"I don't know." Tim clicked his tongue, "This hasn't happened after Babs and I updated those damn cameras. Fuck, give me a second..."

"Did the Joker get out?" Jason practically growled.

"No, no. I'm sure he didn't. He would have been causing trouble by now." Tim reassured, clicking his tongue again before the feed went back to normal. Joker's cell seemed perfectly fine, with the Joker fast asleep on his little cot. "See, just some static. Maybe Phantom passed by."

The mere mention of Phantom has Jason blue screening, instincts kicking in as his older brother shoved his helmet over his head again. Then the idiot gets on his bike and speeds out of the cave.

Coward.

Tim whipped his head around, quickly surveying the area.

The static wasn't random. Phantom always had to be in front of the camera to directly affect the feed. So thank fuck when he made friends with Phantom's teammate—Pharaoh—and figured out how to fix any distorted imagery.

He sees Phantom standing over the Joker's unconscious body, plunging his hand into the maniac's chest and pulled out a glowing green orb. A core, from what he remembered. Holy shit, was the Joker a ghost too?

But he saw how Phantom seemed to put restraints around it, literal chains before shoving it back inside.

Slowly, Phantom turned to the camera, his entire figure still distorted, but he could see that fanged grin that his brother seemed to swoon over.

(The Joker was still alive, very much, but no one could understand how he was stuck in an almost permanent coma. Tim wasn't going to give Jason even more reason to start giggling over Phantom, unless he wanted to ruin the entire Dead on Main operation.)

Damian did not quite understand the insanity that was multiple individuals (including those that were not of their brood) attempting to matchmake Todd with Phantom. He didn't understand what was so great about Phantom, in all honesty.

He was heroic, powerful, and quite intelligent. Many people held similar traits. Perhaps it was the fact that he was a deathly being that attracted Todd in the first place.

"Hello, Robin!" Phantom greeted one day, eyes shimmering like the stars in his cape. "Superboy said you had something to tell me?"

Damian shifted slightly, "Yes. Are you aware of the Lazarus Pits?"

"Ah... Yes, of course. My court and I have been trying to destroy all of them. The Lazarus is corrupted ectoplasm that has been mixed with filth of all kinds." Phantom hummed.

"Filth of all kinds... Disgusting." Damian frowned, nose scrunching up at the memory that he's bathed in those pits before. "But I digress. I would like to assist in the destruction of the pits. Father and the rest of the family has fretted over my grandfather's pits for many years and we have barely grazed the surface on what the Lazarus truly was."

"I see! I was planning on asking Batman to help out on that. But since you've already asked, would you like to come to the Realms? I'm sure you can interrogate some of the ghosts your grandfather has wronged." Phantom grinned, already offering Damian a hand. He was floating, while Damian stood in the roof and stared at the hand.

It reminded him of the kryptonians. But Phantom's hand was cold and he didn't yank Damian the same way Jon often did.

No, Phantom took Damian's hand and then proceeded to hook an arm around Damian's waist, pulling him of the roof and into the air. And then they were flying into a glowing green portal that reminded Damian of the pits.

The moment they were in the infinite realms, Damian felt the overwhelming pressure of the dead. He swallowed the bile that rose from his throat as Phantom set him down on solid ground. The entire place felt eerie and strange, of course it was. This was the afterlife.

"Right, I forgot." Phantom cursed, "You're not as liminal as my family. Give me a second, baby bat." He murmured, his hand glowing green before it's gently pushed into Damian's chest. A sudden wave of warmth overtook his entire body and Damian stared at the ghost.

"I'm giving you a bit of Ecto to reduce any discomfort here in the realms. It'll flush itself out in 24 hours so don't worry about becoming overly liminal." Phantom smiled softly, before he offered his hand to Damian again. "Let's go? I have to stop by my keep to check the records of Al Ghuls victims."

"Of course."

And instead of being carried like a cat, Phantom picked him up bridal style and flew past what seemed to be floating islands and towards a large red and purple castle.

Is this was Todd feels? Damian asked himself, oddly enjoying this experience.

The moment they landed—

"Your majesty!" A floating eyeball yelled, rushing towards them. "You've brought an outsider—"

"Away with you." Phantom snapped, a crown and cape of stars suddenly appearing on him. "This is Robin. Ra's Al Ghul's grandchild."

"The Demon's head..."

"Yes, now shoo." Phantom snapped, before leading Damian away from the eyeball. "I'm sorry for my Observants. They're a conservative bunch."

"You are a king?"

"Mhm... Though I don't like to advertise it. The last king was a tyrant and I defeated him a little while after my death. I never intended to be king, in all honesty. But here I am." He gestured to the crown of fire and ice and the cape of stars. His grin was strained and quite troubled but he didn't mind leading Damian towards a large room filled with bigger files.

"Now, would you like to search yourself or do you want me to have someone else do it?"

Damian grimaced at the sight. "I'd prefer for someone else to suffer."

And that's how Damian found himself touring the realms, with Phantom happily bringing Damian to the arena where a ghost named Skulker awaited them. The man was a hunter, respectful towards Phantom yet troublesome as he challenged him. Phantom looked utterly annoyed, before he turned to Damian with sparkling eyes.

"What about you, Robin?"

And then Damian was fighting everyone and everything in the realms at the behest and amusement of Phantom. The ghost king provided him with different weapons each time an enemy switched.

It's only when they returned to the land of the living that he's informed that any weapon he's used is now his.

And he has a cat with him! The ghost of a small yet ferocious kitten that had his under Phantom's cape whilst Damian and other ghosts fought to glorious battle. Phantom kindly offered her to him, naming her Astra with the star shaped pupils in her eyes.

Damian is quite sure he has fallen in love.

Damian returns to the manor, utterly awestruck and infatuated. Thankfully (unfortunately), Todd is in attendance when Phantom carries him out of the portal, still held in a bridal carry with Damian actively clinging to Phantom like he had hung the stars (maybe he did).

"Sorry if we worried you! Robin wanted to help with our Lazarus problems since it's also your problem too." Phantom quickly explains once he saw Batman's troubled expression. "Don't worry about your gifts. I'll figure out a way to make you a dimensional bag."

Damian stared, "May I visit the realms again? If you would be amendable to it."

"Of course! You're my favorite, so why wouldn't I?"

Hah! Hear that? Take that, Todd!

Phantom vanishes into his portal seconds later, leaving Damian with the most beautiful and intricated sword in his hands. Blinking quietly, he whirled around and pointed the sword at Jason, who instinctively went into a battle stance.

"You may be my brother, Todd, but if you have not married Phantom once I am of age, I shall fight for his hand in marriage himself."

(Jason knows very well that Damian isn't joking and proceeds to practically plan the most novel-esque confession to date. Jane Austen might just be proud.)

Masterpost

[checkeredflagggs]

Unexpected Roommate

pairing: lando norris x pet owner!reader

summary: when moving in with his girlfriend, lando gets confronted with the new side of her pet

a/n: inspired by the guy walking his pet down the street I saw yesterday…

yourusername

liked by landonorris, yourbff, oscarpiastri, and 231,445 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: and it’s moving day! It’s a big step for us but I can’t wait to start living with you landonorris!

view all comments

user1: oh god the fomo I have

↳user2: saaaaammmmmmeeee

oscarpiastri: the question is was lando being helpful today or just disruptive?

↳landonorris: oi!!!

↳yourusername: Oscar!

↳oscarpiastri: it’s a valid question! I work with him — I know his habits

↳maxverstappen1: same

↳alex_albon: same

↳georgerussell63: same

↳danielricciardo: same

↳carlossainz55: same

↳landonorris: you frickin muppets!

↳yourusername:…

↳yourusername: he was helpful moving me out but quite distracted when we got to our new place

↳landonorris: oi!!!

↳yourusername: sorry baby but it’s true

user3: god the heart fingers…when will it be my turn…

user4: we need a tour!

↳user5: yaaassss! I need all the details for my fantasies where I’m living her life…

↳user4: ok let’s not get too crazy here

alex_albon: let us know when you’re all moved in!

↳landonorris: why?

↳maxverstappen1: so we don’t get roped into helping of course!

↳landonorris: I’m gonna block all of you

carlossainz55: did he let you get anything done once you got there?

↳landonorris: yes!! And I helped!

↳yourusername: the bedroom and his game room are done…

↳oscarpiastri: yeah that sounds about right

↳landonorris: stop slandering me!

↳user6: little lando norris learned a new word!

↳yourusername:🤣🤣🤣

↳landonorris: babe! 😢😢

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 397,455 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: didn’t know I would gain a limpet when I moved…or that my dinners would now come with live entertainment 🤣🤣

view all comments

user7: I’ll take that issue off your hands

↳user8: or me!

↳yourusername: sorry he’s mine only!

↳landonorris: I’m yours?

↳yourusername: I’d fight all your fangirls for you

↳landonorris: babe 😍😍

landonorris: babe…why you gotta do me dirty like that??

↳landonorris: you said you wouldn’t post these photos!!!

↳yourusername: I lied! Gotta show everyone your true character

↳landonorris: babe!

↳yourusername: sorry not sorry 😘 forgive me?

↳landonorris:😢😢😢

↳yourusername: 🥰🥰🥰

↳landonorris: ok but only cause you’re really hot

maxverstappen1: need a crowbar there?

↳alex_albon: or maybe another set of hands to push him away?

↳yourusername: is both an option? 🤣

↳charles_leclerc: might need some chains and a tow truck…

↳maxfewtrell: can you even breathe?

↳landonorris: I’m literally going to report all of you for bullying me

↳charles_leclerc: you’d need to detach yourself from her first

↳alex_albon: are we supposed to be scared?

↳maxverstappen1: so?

↳maxfewtrell: in real life too?

↳yourusername: even me? 🥹🥹🥹

↳landonorris: never you baby

yourbff: he is NOT invited to girls night

↳yourusername: of course not!

↳landonorris: you said I could come!

↳yourusername: the council said no!

↳landonorris: is the council yourbff?

↳yourbff: And coco!

↳landonorris: coco would never! She loves me!

↳yourbff: still a no!

Private Messages

lnupdates

liked by user1, user2, and 790,469 others

tagged: landonorris, maxfewtrell

lnupdates: I don’t even have words for how chaotic Lando’s last stream was… can anyone identify the voice in the background that was cursing them out?

view all comments

user9: it wasn’t yourusername was it?

↳user10: no she had photos posted of her and yourbff at a concert

↳user9: then whoooo???

↳user10: I think I heard them say coco??

user11: like I’m concerned about who that was but…that was freaking hilarious

↳user12: I completely agree. Whoever they were, they were roasting max and lando

↳user13: the absolute shock on lando’s face when the first motherfucker rang out…

user14: taking notes 📝📝📝📝

↳user15: what for???

↳user14: Lindsey is going down next time

↳user15: oh my god let it go

↳user14: never

Private Messages

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, charles_leclerc, and 1,590,278 others

tagged: lnupdates, cocotheparrot

yourusername: the criminal from last night’s streaming…snafu. Meet Coco! She’s a mature African Grey Parrot I adopted from a friend who could no longer care for her.

She has…strong opinions and an even stronger way to express those opinions 🧡

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user16: oh my god I’m in love

landonorris: you didn’t tell me she talked!!!

↳yourusername: babe it’s well known that african greys are considered the smartest parrots

↳landonorris: WELL KNOWN TO WHOOOO?!?

↳alex_albon: everyone

↳yourusername: everyone

↳lilymhe: everyone

↳charles_leclerc: everyone

↳maxfewtrell: everyone

↳maxverstappen1: everyone

↳carlossainz55: everyone

↳mclaren: everyone

lnupdates: oh my god!! I would never even guessed a parrot!!

user17: she’s absolutely beautiful!

↳user18: god I’d love to get a parrot

↳yourusername: take care! Parrots are one of the hardest breeds to take care of and one of the longest living ones too — anywhere from 40-60 years

↳user18: …ok maybe not a parrot

↳landonorris: 40 TO 60 YEARS???

↳charles_leclerc: maybe you’ll learn a new language listening to her!

↳landonorris: 4 to 6 DECADES OF BEING SWORE AT?

↳alex_albon: awesome!

↳yourusername: she doesn’t swear all the time…

↳landonorris: 😨😨😨

a/n2: so I saw someone walking their pet parrot down the street and it was so cool! I didn’t get swore at (which would have made my day tbh) but this popped into my mind and I had to write it out. I don’t know why but lando makes the most sense to have a pet parrot that swears

[wonderjanga]

Marvel and the YJ

So, Marvel in the YJ. He’s one of their den mothers and all that. So like, in this AU, and in fact in all of my posts so far, Billy’s kept it under wraps that he’s a kid. So, as a result, the YJ think he’s just this really cool big brother (dad (they just don’t know it)) type of dude. Like he’s so nice. And he’s so nice to them especially. Like, he treats all of them the same way he treats adults. He doesn’t doubt their abilities, and when they fail, he’s still there to encourage them to get back up and he doesn’t even make them feel bad about it.

Like, the one time he was asked to spar with the YJ cause they wanted to for funsies I guess, he positively whooped their asses and somehow, someway found a way to still compliment their abilities, even if they didn’t last that long because the battle was a little one-sided. To be fair though, they had asked him not to go easy, which he didn’t. In the end, he got promptly scolded by Canary heavily when she found out he quite literally used Kid Flash as a rag doll and threw him at Aqualad. She said that the entire tape of him having a “friendly spar” with those kids, was essentially just him bullying them. To which Billy tried to defend himself by saying those kids were plenty capable. The defense didn’t work.

Then, there was this time Kon mentioned he couldn’t fly and Marvel offered him a lift. This somehow ended up with Marvel sort of T posing mid air as Kon and Robin hung on one arm, Artemis and Aqualad hung on the other arm, then Kid Flash held onto one leg while M’gann held onto the other.

Flash: “Wow.” *looking up at the YJ and Marvel* “That’s… actually kinda majestic, not gonna lie.”

Superman: *also looking up at Marvel and the YJ* “Is it though? What if one of them falls?”

Flash: “Eh. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Kid Flash proceeds to almost slip off and fall, which almost gives both the speedster and Kryptonian a heart attack. Thankfully, he catches himself by moving his feet really fast to boost himself back up. Worst part in their opinion is that Marvel didn’t even seem to notice.

Then, there was the time M’gann with Robin about something. Batman was also working nearby on a computer.

M’gann: “Hmm… We need advice.”

Robin!Tim: “We need an adult.”

Batman: *keeping an ear out cause he’s always happy to help one of his kids*

M’gann and Robin!Tim: *thinking before they speak up at the same time* “Marvel.” *they then both walk out of the room to find the Captain*

Batman: *a little upset that Tim did didn’t come to him for help but also a lot more concerned as to why they thought Marvel was a suitable choice to ask for advice, especially considering the fact that just earlier that day, he had caught the man scribbling on one of the meeting tables like a 5th grader scribbling on their desk*

Contrary to what Bruce thought might happen (I.e. something going wrong) apparently Marvel’s advice wasn’t too bad, seeing nothing had gone wrong yet. (He later found out that the two had asked for the best advice on how to incapacitate your enemy quickly. He found this out when he saw Tim throat punch a man. Said man went down almost immediately. When prodded for information for as to why he did that, he proudly proclaimed “Cap taught me”)

Also a little tidbit from the Marvel Cursing post about the YJ thinking that Marvel called one of them a dumb cunt. Courtesy to @helps-the-writing-brain-go

Billy’s recently noticed that the kids are acting funny. Though, he supposes it’s not a bad funny. If anything, whatever’s got them acting weird has got them doing better on missions, but still. It’s weird. What’s weirder is that whenever he compliments them, they shine twice as brighter than they normally do. What’s even weirder than that is that whenever they’ve messed up recently they look twice as nervous. Speaking of which, this was one of the moments they’ve messed up.

Marvel: “So… Uh- that didn’t go so well.”

YJ: *obvious signs of anxiousness on some and subtle on others*

Marvel: “But that’s okay! But that’s okay.” *trying his best to make the anxiety in them disappear* “We just have to try to be better next time. Like, and I hate to say this, maybe try calling in an adult next time? Like me? I could’ve zoomed over and helped you guys.”

YJ: *look at each other*

Artemis: “Wally’s the one who said that we shouldn’t call you in a try to do this on our own.”

Kid Flash: *dramatic gasp* “You know why I said that! It would’ve helped us all if Kaldur had tried to put the fires near the gas tanks out with his water powers!”

Aqualad: “I was busy being attacked by nearly five different people.”

YJ: *dissolve into arguing*

Marvel: “Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wally what did you mean by it would’ve helped you all? Me not being there would’ve been good?” *confused*

YJ: *immediate silence*

Kon: “Wally found out that you think one of us is dumb cunt.”

Kid Flash: “Dude! You guys need to stop ratting me out!”

Marvel: “What.” *stares in befuddlement*

M’gann: “And then he told us. So we’ve been trying to think of ways to not be uh… dumb cunts.”

Marvel: *blinks rapidly* “Again, what? Wally, where did you get this information from?”

Kid Flash: “When you were making cookies! I heard you say blah blah blah, what a dumb cunt.”

Marvel: *still staring in confusion*

Kid Flash: “Then, when I asked what you were talking about, Mary said you were talking about our performance on missions.”

Marvel: “…Okay. I’m going to be completely honest with you. I don’t remember a thing of what you’re talking about.”

Marvel then goes on to make a speech about how they’re wonderful heroes who shouldn’t let one person’s words guide them, especially in risky situations like a mission. He then told them that he was now going to stress bake and make some Minnesota cool whip, jello, fruit, not really salad, salad. (Courtesy to @jedipirateking) On the bright side though, the speech did leave the teens feeling better.