#zeff was abusive too but i think he’s desperate for a father and doesn’t want to let him down

[empress-hancock]

Oh this is hysterical

[flamingo-writes]

Good/Bad News — Sanji X Reader

Summary: What originally were good news, turned out to be bad. Sanji was forcing himself to turn his back on everyone he loved, including you. And those news felt like a spear through his heart. As much  as he wished to turn back, he could never undo the pain he did to you. 

Word count: 3.2 K

A/N: This takes place at both the beginning and the ending of Whole Cake Island. Long fragments in italics are flashbacks. I literally wrote this after reading a very angsty fic and I needed to let out those feelings of angst through writing more angst. Adding to the never ending chain of angst. But come on, who doesn’t like to feel pain by reading about your favourite characters? There’s a bit of fluff at the end to help soothe the pain. 

Warnings: angst, swearing, abusive language.

There was something special in the way Sanji looked at you. It went without saying. An adoration, a sweet fascination sparked in his eyes when he saw you. 

For such a flirty guy, his interest in other women vanished when you were close to him. So, as much of a flirt he was, you were never really worried about Sanji cheating on you. You knew for a fact that it was only you who owned the entirety of his heart and soul. 

And the feeling was mutual. Even though you weren't precisely flirty, like Sanji, you reflected in your eyes the same look he gave you. You looked at him with that same unconditional love, an endless,melting love flooded through you whenever you saw him. 

However, there was something very different in his eyes now. After beating Luffy, you felt your heart begin to shatter. Little by little. Seeing Luffy on the ground, unconscious, hurt like very few things you’d lived. Your captain's pain became yours as well. Stronger that the physical wounds, the new gap in your chest consumed you. Like poison invading your body, clouding you mind as you tried to convince yourself what you just saw wasn't real. However, your body, shaking in both disappointment and anger said otherwise. Torn between your guttural burning feelings, and your blinded consciousness. 

"Luffy!" Nami cried as you walked towards Sanji, who's eyes suddenly were unrecognisable. 

"Sanji, I have to talk to you" You growled, your voice lower than ever.

The gentle eyes you loved so much were gone. Replaced by cold hollow eyes. And yet, something at the back of them shone. Something you could very well identify. Pain. The quick glance of sorrow invading his eyes made you feel afraid. Afraid of whatever this might unchain. 

Sanji could not stand the pain in your eyes. Suddenly, afraid of the wound he’d just caused in your trust, and anger bleeding out of it. He turned around, ready to head back when you called his name. Feeling a rather uncomfortable lump grew in his throat when your voice broke calling his name. A voice that would pronounce his name in so many different sweet ways, now turned bitter and sour. 

Swallowing his pain, he shut his eyes closed reminding himself everything that was at stake. His biological family, his actual family, and Zeff.  He needed to keep himself under control. Faking, pretending to be the Vinsmoke he certainly wasn't. Pretending to be the cold hearted warrior his father had so cleverly designed. A human on the outside, incapable of feeling empathy for others. He had to play the part of exactly everything Sanji was not. 

He turned around, and that set of empty eyes was back. Looking at you like he had never before. You breathed in deeply, keeping yourself from breaking down in tears. If Sanji was going to be acting this way, so were you. Painfully, biting your tongue to the point of tasting blood made you regain the strength you needed to face whoever he was now. He was not your Sanji, not even close. As much as those two looked alike. 

"There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a while now…" you said, your voice serious and monotonous. 

"I don't have to hear anything from you, pirate…" He said contemptuously, his eyes scanning you in the most uninterested way. 

"Back in Dressrosa, I was hoping to get the chance to talk to you. But you disappeared along with the others" You began, completely ignoring him, and making him curse under his breath. 

Dammit, [Name], you’re making this harder, he thought. 

"Didn't you hear what I said, you dumb vulgar woman?" He barked turning around, however, you kept talking, knowing he was listening.

"Too bad we had to see each other under this circumstances, I had news you certainly would've loved..." 

His mind stopped for a bit, now curious for what you had to say. The more your word played in his head, the more terrified he felt.  

"...but, because of this mess, I doubt this news will make you happy like they would've originally have done"

"What makes you think I care for what you have to say?" Hissing he quickly looked at you over his shoulder, keeping his hands inside his pockets.

"I'm pregnant, Sanji" You finally said in a low voice, so only Sanji could hear you. 

Sanji's heart broke. Shattered into a million pieces. God, not only he was turning his back to his friends, especially to you. He was also turning his back on his chance of starting a family of his own. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought of starting a family with you. It was in his plans after all, once you all found the One Piece, and after he found the All Blue. He liked to fantasize about it; a family. A real family, not like whatever the Vinsmokes were supposed to be. And it made sense, you’d been acting weird since you arrived to Punk Hazard. 

Something he’d been wanting, dreaming of for a while, it was right before him, but he would never be able to reach it now.

What Sanji didn’t know was that, once Doflamingo was defeated, Law noticed you were looking pale. And after talking to him, he popped a question. You remembered his low voice echoing, your heart stopping and the world spinning quicker. 

“Oi, [Name]-ya, did you hear me?” Law raised his voice, staring at you, as all tthe pieces in your head came together.

“I-I...yes…” You sighed breathless with fear.

“So?”

“Now that you mention it…” You sighed. “My period is one week late...and I’ve had the weirdest cravings…” Law had ah ard time listening to what you were saying, your voice couldn’t be lower.

“Does Chopper-ya know?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I was going to tell Chopper after all of this ended” For the first time you made eye contact with the surgeon.

“When we’re back at your ship, tell him to run some blood test” He said before standing up and leaving.

On your way to Zou, you felt how time froze. You were both happy and terrified. You wanted to tell Sanji so bad. You needed to tell him. It was certainly the worst timing, but maybe you two could figure something out, the entire crew could help you guys out. However, once you made it to the moving island, Sanji was gone. 

“And you expect me to believe that bulshit?” Sanji growled. “Do you want to make me believe I am the father?” As soon as he spoke, he regretted what he’d said. He didn’t even have to turn around to picture your face. He knew he’d crossed the line. Hinting that you were some sort of slut? Low blow.  “[Name]” He whispered coldly, hoping that it’d make everything better.. “Don’t tell anyone that you’re pregnant with my child” His words low enough for you to hear, but also sharp enough to pierce your heart. 

Right after feeling how your heart stopped the moment Sanji started talking, you then got angrier than ever at that moment. Not realising the intention in which Sanji mean his last words. Forgetting completely about the fact that he had just called you both promiscuous and a liar. You interpreted his words in a selfish way in which his reputation could be destroyed if someone found out the Prince of Germa 66 had a bastard child with a pirate. However, Sanji meant those words to keep the child’s identity a secret, and keep everyone safe. But you wouldn’t realise it. 

“I hope you enjoy your life as a prince” You purred, and Sanji still turning his back at you, could not decipher your voice tone, it was monotonous. “And I hope you enjoy your wedding, and your new wife. Really, I hope you live a happy life” The lack of emotion in your voice killed him.

What hurt him the most was how despite your endless anger, you still meant every word you said. You were pissed at him, but still loved him enough to wish him a happy life. 

Your ever present kindness even though how unfair the situation could be, was Sanji’s favourite trait of you. And right now, that same kindness he loved so much was tearing him apart painfully. 

His heart squeezing painfully as he walked back to the carriage. He wished he could turn around and kiss you. Turn around and hold you. Tell you how much he loved you, and how he happy was at the thought of having a child with the love of his life. In his head, the entire scenario played, showing him what he could have, if only he wasn’t such a coward. 

A coward. As much as he knew he could break free from it all if he put his mind to it, the fear blocked his mind. So much depended on him marrying Pudding. The golden bracelets weighed him down. Tying him like a desperate dog to an abusive owner. As every step tore the both of you apart. he felt the distance weight him down as well. Trying his best to keep his tears, he groaned painfully. 

"Thank you for waiting" he growled lowly, trying to mask his pain. "We can leave now" 

~

Whole Cake Island had been by far, the worst experience ever. The entire time you felt the adrenaline kicking in, followed by the desire to survive. And you knew this wasn't healthy at all at your current condition. You knew coming here was a mistake, you should’ve probably listened to your crew when you decided to go with Luffy to save Sanji.. 

"[Name], you shouldn't go to Whole Cake Island" Chopper said, his voice firm. 

"He's right, [Name]-ya" Law added "The less stressed you are, the better" 

"I have to go” You growled “We're talking about Sanji, If you really want to stop me, you'll have to kill me" 

"Why are you guys suggesting that [Name] stays?" Nami asked. 

"She could have a miscarige" Law said coldly, his eyes matching his voice.

"I will be fine" 

"[Name] will be coming with us. I will protect the both of them" Luffy said standing next to you, crossing his arms over his chest. "We'll have a better chance of bringing Sanji quickly if she's with us" 

"Strawhat-ya, I want you to understand how dangerous this is. If something happens to her, and she has a miscarige, she'll not only lose the child, but her life will.be in danger as well" The way the both of them exchanged stares was almost intimidating. However, Luffy’s smile grew across his face. 

"Nothing will happen to [Name]. I will protect her with my life" Textbook Luffy, putting his life on the line, that confident smile framing his face perfectly. 

"Luffy…" You whispered, your eyes getting teary.

"Can you imagine having a baby as a nakama? I wonder how that'll be" Luffy’s squinted, his smile now turning warm and welcoming.

His gentle smile always soothed you whenever you felt nervous or afraid. Luffy wasn't your best friend for no reason. As oblivious as he could be, he knew how to calm your nerves. Whenever something bothered you, it only took that smile to make you feel like you could breathe again.

And right now, you needed that smile more than ever. Cuddled up in the infirmary, you kept thinking of both Luffy and Sanji. The crew was waiting for them in the Sunny. As soon as those two stepped on the ship, you all were going to flee the island.

After Chopper gave you a quick examination, and everything turned to be alright, you started crying. The little reindeer didn't  blame you for crying. Everything was too overwhelming. Everything about this island had been so terribly overwhelming, adding the fact that your hormones were all over the place.

You asked Chopper to leave you alone. What you needed right now was being able to cry your eyes out, alone.

"[Name], if you need something, feel free to call me, okay?" 

"Thank you, Chopper" Your voice shook lightly as Chopper closed the door behind him. 

And as soon as you heard the door close, it seemed like it was the green light to endless tears. Your pain streaming down your face. 

Right now you wished for either Sanji or Luffy to walk inside and hug you. A real tight hug. However, for the next several minutes you kept silently sobbing, the pain in your chest not getting any better. A consuming loneliness kept feeding to the gap in your chest, keeping the tears falling endlessly from your eyes. At least until you fell asleep.

By the time Sanji and Luffy made back to the Sunny, Luffy was deeply asleep. Without disturbing him much, Sanji placed him on the grass, where he seemed to sleep comfortably. At once, his eyes scanned the ship, looking at each and everyone in the ship. Brook, Nami, Chopper, Jimbei…but not you. You were not there with everyone else. 

“Wheres [Name]?” Sanji asked getting more and more worried by the second.

“In the infirmary” Chopper answered. 

“Is she alright?” His voice came out louder than he intended, giving away his concern.

“Yes. The both of them. She asked me to leave her alone" Chopper exchanged stares with Sanji, who was breathing heavily.

“Thanks, be right back” He said taking long steps towards the infirmary door. 

He could feel his heart sinking in his chest. He hadn’t talked to you, or seen you since that awful encounter when he fought Luffy. Sanji was aware he had hurt you badly. Very, very badly. He had hurt himself in the process as well. Having to act so careless to such big news, painfully turning his back towards you, keeping a straight voice, and his burning tears from falling. The lump on his throat hurt as much as his shattered heart.

Once he reached the door, he held the door knob and froze. What was he going to say? He didn’t think this through. He was going to apologise, that was for sure. But, how? How exactly was he supposed to ask for forgiveness? 

I’m sorry, [Name], I had to keep an act for my family…

I had these explosive bracelets, you see I had to—

It was the only way…

Lame. The more he thought about it, the lamer and more pathetic the excuses became. But that was the problem. They were all excuses, weren’t they? Swallowing the lump on his throat, he wished for his mind to shut up. All of those thoughts were suffocating him, making him wish to either turn back in time before all of this mess happened, or fast forward to the time after he apologised regardless of the outcome. 

Once he finished swallowing his poor mental apologies, and gathered the strength to actually push the door open,he did it slowly. The room dark and silent. The door opening so slowly it didn’t even break the peaceful silence. And there you were, asleep on the couch. 

Looking at your curled up position, Sanji knew right away you’d cried yourself to sleep. And that thought alone made his eyes tear up immediately. As we walked closer, he saw dried tears on your face. Confirming what he first thought. You were soundly asleep, breathing deeply. 

He sighed, a single tear falling down his cheek. The lump in his throat growing considerably. He brushed your hair so delicately, trying not to wake you. However, as he tried his best, your eyes flickered open. 

At first slowly, until your sight adjusted, and remembered you’d fallen asleep on the infirmary. There was a dry feeling on both your eyes. Your gaze moves, the slumber still clinging from your lids as you looked at Sanji, who’s hand was gently caressing your hair. 

The amount of pain and regret in his eyes was overwhelming by itself. You didn’t even want to think how the guy was feeling inside. And yet, underneath that decrepit mask was the look Sanji always gave you. Swimming among those feelings of anguish was that unconditional love. His eyes, already teary, got much worse as your stare connected to his. 

Before you could even articulate any words, Sanji grabbed your hand, shut his eyes closed, kneeled next to the bed and started crying. An awkward apology came out in sobs. His voice low and shaky. However, everything he was saying came out of his broken heart, going out his lips with no filter. 

“I’m so sorry [Name]-chan! I was such an asshole, I should not have treated you that way. I was so scared and overwhelmed by everything else. I panicked and let the worst part of me take over. If you chose to break up with me, to never talk to me again, I would not blame you, I treated you badly and said some very mean things to you” Finally, he’d broken down, crying, his forehead pressed against your hand. 

Your eyes felt dry, but that didn’t last long. Sanji’s pain reflected on you, and soon, you were crying too. Silent tears falling down your cheeks. You brushed his hair with your other hand without saying anything. At least not until he looked back up, his eyes connecting with yours. 

Another new look gazed at you. This one was the open window to his shattered heart. The pain, the regret, the overwhelming disappointment in himself. You could both see and feel everything he was carrying on his shoulders. 

“It’s alright” Whispering, you met his stare. “I forgive you, my love” Your voice shaky.

For a brief second, everything hurt twice as much. That kindness broke him a second time. He hugged you and cried burying his face on your neck. His hands clung to you with such strength and desperation. His entire body was shaking. You hugged him back, wrapping one arm around his back, and the other one caressing his hair gently. 

“What did I do to be blessed with someone like you? It’s not fair, you deserve someone so much better…”

“Hey” You snapped. “Don’t say that” You sobbed softly. “Don’t you ever say that again, or I’ll punch you in the face” You threatened with a broken voice. 

Sanji chuckled softly and pulled back. His teary eyes staring into yours. A small smile on his lips. A small smile that still managed to make your heart skip a beat. Leaning closer, he kissed the tip of your nose and then rested his forehead against yours. 

“So...we’re pregnant, huh?” You chuckled at his question, your low laugh caressing his ears warmly. 

“Yes, we are” You answered. 

Sanji at once cupped your face and brought you closer. His lips very gently, very lightly pressing against yours. The same delicacy as the first time you kissed. When you kissed him back, you locked your lips with his. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you brought him closer. That sweet taste in your lip Sanji loved so much felt surreal for a brief second. His chest breathless, his heart going a thousand miles per hour, his head light with charm, and his belly filled with butterflies. Not believing his luck, not feeling deserving of his second chance. But he didn’t care. He promised himself he would never push you away like that again, hurt you again, make you cry again.