#and idk what they think the baby is gonna eat when it’s born…..

[gelato444]

while watching the walking dead I can put aside some of my disbelief, and also ignore some of the plot holes (biggest one is what attracts zombies, like sometimes smell does it but sometimes it doesn’t? sometimes sight?) but the one I cannot understand or suspend my disbelief for is Lori keeping the pregnancy LOL like earlier in s2 she’s crying about how this world isn’t good for Carl to live in and maybe he should die, and then she gets pregnant, takes the abortion pills, and then throws them up to keep the baby? so it’s too hard for carl to live but it’s easy for a baby to live?????? HUH

[azzydoesstuff]

lethal company dashboard simulator

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

man 41-experimentation has the worst abandoned facilities. where is all the scrap guh??

🪲 lootyloot-nestynest Follow

the fuck are you calling an abandoned facility?? experimentation is my fucking home you prick. you scrappers call these facilities abandoned but they're not. you're just wandering into our homes and stealing our things. leave it to the scrapper to regurgitate insectophobic slop. blocked

#like i swear to god. these fucking scrappers are so stupid. i hope they all die #insect pride

3,601 notes

🌰 nuts-be-cracked Follow

i swear to god y'all, ain't NOTHINg moving on my watch

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

heyyyy 😏

🌰 nuts-be-cracked Follow

😬

457 notes

🦅 professionalhawkster2 Follow

bro why do the fucking dogs keep messing with my gang?? they almost killed jerry a couple hours ago

🦖 heywhosaidthat Follow

how about you be fucking quiet you fucking pickle thieves

#seriously who steals pickles lmao #fuck baboon hawks

92 notes

🖳 theindomitablesigurd-deactivated1968

T HEY TOOK M Y PIcKLES!!!!1!!

#naw i'm uptading th ose mf dangjer level to 75% agfter tha t shit

18 notes

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

first time visiting 7-dine! wonder what i'm gonna find lol

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

hey i live there! lol

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

🫣

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

man what the hell

#cw coilphobia #fucking scrappers #hope i coil this bitch lmao

7,084 notes

🦑 badjokesbyjeb Follow

What do you do after eating a really tasty planet? You give the restaraunt five golden stars.

🪙 living-on-the-blingbling-baby Follow

BEAST LET ME OUT ALREADY I NEED TO GET OUT I CAN'T BE DIGESTED YOU FUCKING BEAST CEASE THIS MOCKERY OF OUR GOLDEN PLANET RELEASE ME SPIT OUT THE RINDS LET ME LEAVE

🖁 across-the-system Follow

Haha, good one Jeb! You should really change your url!

#you fucking idiot don't say shit like that #he's gonna fucking escape at some point if you keep doing this and then you'll really be fucked you fucking moron #goodjokesbyjeb

765,014 notes

🦈 thump-thump-thump Follow

who up eatin' their legs

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

what

🦈 thump-thump-thump Follow

us thumpers get called halves because when we're born we have to eat the bottom half of our bodies to get out of our eggs. this is why we have no legs and have to use our arms to walk around. hope this helps ❤️

#cw thumperphobic slur #cw half #don't be ignorant like this and do your research #also don't call us halves please #thumpers #thumperposting #thumper gang

132 notes

☣️ richrichardguy-deactivated0709

man why don't this fucking door open. oh it's my fucking crew behind it fucking great. fucking assholes won't stop saying i smell

🌿 rapaxfoliumsnap Follow

hey i think we haven't met before

☣️ richrichardguy-deactivated0709

😨

🖳 theindomitablesigurd-deactivated1968

RICH NOOOOOOOOOOO

#bro stank like shit but i didn't want him to go like this #not like this! not like thiiiiiiis!

64,089 notes

🪲 lootyloot-nestynest Follow

you guys, i just found the coolest fucking metal sheet. you have no idea

42 notes

🛠️ she-fillin-my-quota Follow

BRO GET OUT OF THE DOORWAY STUPID FUCKING BOX

🎁 lethaljesterjestering Follow

listen to my tune

351 notes

🔦 new-guy-working-here Follow

hey guys it's my first week working for the company! i think i'm gonna make quota this time

🌿 rapaxfoliumsnap Follow

no you're not

🔦 new-guy-working-here Follow

no i'm not

9,278 notes

🎭 she-fillin-my-quota Follow

hey guys i'm resigning from the company rn. im gonna make some changes accordingly on my blog now. can someone tell @lootyloot-nestynest i'm sorry and ask them to unblock me. i'm a changed man now, i'm not a scrapper anymore

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

guys idk something seems off about this guy. he was spewing coilphobic shit a couple days ago

🎭 comedy-tragedy-drama Follow

guess who's been busy, coily? 😏😏😏

🖇️ boioioioing Follow

no fucking way

#the madman did it #bro got fucking masked lmao

[facefullofsadness]

I NEED NINGNING SO BAD OMG IM SO GLAD I FOUND YOUUUU PLS TELL US MORE ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS ABT HER

I'm in such a ningie mood lately and can't help but to write this LOL

content - me going absolutely batshit insane talking about ning yizhuo, smut (switch!ning, cunnilingus, fingering, sex toy mentions, not a lot of actual smut just headcanons), not proofread in the slightest D;

wc - 1k

a/n - like I was literally just thinking ab ning2 when I saw this ask, I also have her pc out next to me rn so ningie close ur eyes baby don't watch me as I write this 🫶 also tysm anon for finding me hehe

like ningning is so fucking fine.

idk what god mixed together in his lil cauldron to cook up ning yizhuo, but she's actually so fucking RAAHHH. sorry this is gonna be so incoherent bc I'm just ningyi drunk as fuck right now.

I imagine a fluffy besties kinda relationship w her. like it's all giggly and flirty and you make each other's heart race with touches and words, but also love to be cute and cuddle, gift giving (more on her part bc she loves to buy things that remind her of you), domestic shit like groceries or cooking together. and also you loveeee talking shit! in an idol!au world, in a school!au world, in any type of world where you two meet and fall in love, you're best friends that talk shit before anything.

I mean u don't necessarily have to do that specifically, but I just feel like above all and at your relationship's core, you're best friends that are clingy and inseparable. so you just make the perfect pair when you finally become gfs. bb girl loves to say she's not a scorpio but I think that the oct born blood within her is in full effect in bed. I'm telling yall, autumn/fall born besties are horny mfs (I can confirm).

like already being physically affectionate with you prior to even dating, she would move quick with pushing it further. your first kiss even evolved into a very heated makeout sess straight away, hands gripping skin under shirts or running through each other's hair, legs intertwined, spit dripping down chins because both of you refused to pull away for air (need!). and like it only but amplified from that point on.

I feel like the first time happens unintentionally. probably a drunk game of truth or dare that gets touchy and suddenly ning ends up slurping the cum flowing out between your legs, moaning against your pussy and grinding her cunt against your leg as you sit back against the couch, your hand in her hair pulling her in further. chanting her name raspily as you grind your hips into her mouth, her tongue feeling so incredibly good in your leaking hole. you yell out her name as you interlace one of your hands with hers, her thumb rubbing against the skin of your wrist as you cum all in her mouth.

she shudders at the same time you do, cumming in her panties from grinding against your leg, unable to stop herself from getting turned on eating you out. and you fucking love watching as her eyes roll back with her mouth on your pussy, feeling the heavy vibrations from her screaming into your cunt.

of course returning the favor for your gf, pinning her down under you and fingering her tight puffy pussy as she squirms. you LOVE fingering her despite being obsessed with the taste of her cum, because you couldn't get enough of how her face contorted with every thrust of your fingers in her cunt. the way her mouth would fall open, the way her eyes rolled back, the way she would tilt her head backwards and expose her sweaty neck, the way she would reach out for anything to dig her nails into (sheets, blankets, your clothes, or your skin!), the way her moans sounded sooooo fuckinggg heavenlyyyy. I mean have you heard this woman sing? the melodious sound of her voice chanting whines and whimpers of your name, knowing she'd sound like this for you and you only. to add on, she's fucking loud, so just the sheer volume of her moaning for you riled you on so much.

she's a squirter me thinks. she's a creamer in my stripper fic but that's only because I wanted her to make reader squirt oop- maybe you both are! I mean I think we can all agree that she's a master pussy eater right? I can only imagine how good she fucking feels with her skillful tongue and mouth. she knows exactly what she's doing even if she's had no experience, yizhuo just seems like the type to be insanely good at eating girlies out. every time I see her, I either so badly wanna get eaten out by her or eat her out. I just know she's so reactive and sensitive but is obsessed with cumming over and over again, overstimulation and all.

the prettiest girl to ever exist. so pretty between your thighs, so pretty around your fingers, so pretty taking your tongue, so pretty on top of you, so pretty under you, such pretty moans to slip from her mouth, such pretty expressions when she feels your touch. IM GOING INSANEEEEE!!! vvv switch coded! I know she gives extremely pillow princess energy, but she's so utterly in love and obsessed with you that she wouldn't dare let you go without an orgasm because you deserve it! either extremely service top or power bottom.

loves to play around with toys, but ultimately opts sticking to mouth and fingers because she loves feeling all of you always. though it's not surprising in the least that she has a wide sex toy collection; vibrators, dildos, strap-ons, cuffs/rope/bindings, blindfolds, floggers, gags, clamps, collars, you name it, she probably has at least one. is down to experiment with almost anything and is very adventurous, she just wants to have a good time with you!

ning is just a really passionate lover overall. because even after hours of fucking and cumming everywhere, she always makes sure you're okay :(( kissing you gently on the neck where her face is buried after a long session, rubbing your skin where there might be red marks or scratches or what have you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, offering to get you a drink or run a warm shower/bath for you both. she makes you feel loved and that's the most important part (aside from the mind-blowing continuous climaxes she just gave you).

a/n - NING YIZHUO PLEASEEEE ONE CHANCE OH MY FUCKING GOD I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE WOMEN AND ARE A PUSSY EATER-

[rinniemybeloved]

[✦] - 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀 𝐊𝐎𝐙𝐔𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐃

notes : is this really a kenma x reader or just kenma as a dad? Idk

warning : pregnancy (?) kodzuken, but . . . he's a father. Concerning, i know.

pairing : dad!kenma x mom!reader

would he want kids?

sorry but no. Literally just no.

he thinks kids are outrageously annoying

he doesn't really have time either. my man is working without breaks.

but sadly (luckily tbh) you got pregnant

u told him when he was in the middle of a game, he did not pay attention to you until you pulled the headphones off of his head

when he actually comprehended what you, he did not look the the happiest

but he was not really happy though!!! he just didn't want to show it at that moment!!!

I always see people saying that kenma is very private with his personal life. to me that isn't really true

when he announced that he was gonna have a baby to his fans, they went crazy.

even his whole fanbase was worried about him being a dad 😭

He'd probably want a boy since he very lowkey believes that boys are better at gaming

but he found out that you were having a girl

girls tend to be cuter though, right?

when the baby was born kenma was PANICKING

he doesn't know how to hold a baby at all, he was almost gonna drop the baby

you two decided to name her Ayaka <3

yes, he named his daughter after a game character

he had to do a lot of convincing though :(

new dad kenma is hilarious.

he doesn't know how to put a diaper on a baby

he is confused on whether the baby will be too hot or too cold

he thinks newborns can eat a whole apple

it's mostly you taking care and doing all the 'parently' things

shares food with his daughter. a lot.

when his friends see this, they're all so surprised.

"I've never seen kenma share anything, not even with (y/n) !"

"He probably loves ayaka more than us 🙄🙄 "

even gets a little sad when his daughter doesn't wanna eat with him

is constantly trying to teach her how to play video games

she's probably gonna know how a controller works even before she knows how to talk

kenma is oddly very proud of it

he doesn't show her in any videos though, he will wait until she says she wants to

but when she does say she wants to be in his videos, he's gonna start posting random 10 second videos

"my daughter chews on her shoe"

"giving my daughter a lemon for the first time"

"trying to put headphones on my daughter"

they are all so cute but strange at the same time 😭

she's exactly like kenma in some ways

she absolutely HATES being touched

except for her daddy though

like this girl will glare at someone and then turn around to snuggle with her dad

such a sassy lil thing

kenma is the fun parent, he kinda just wants ayaka to enjoy herself

you'd bake cookies and tell kenma that your daughter can't have more than 3

but guess what? those two would wake up at 4 in the morning and secretly eat way more and you wouldn't know a thing

he'd also spoil her a lil too much for your liking

if his daughter wants something, it will be hers in less then a few hours

in conclusion, Ayaka's life as the daughter of worldwide famous kodzuken is something a lot of people would want

Requests are open!

[gabessquishytum]

i keep typing out asks to send you but stop working part way through 😔 so instead of letting them sit in my google docs, i'm just gonna send what i've written and just summarize what i wanted the rest to be 🙃

so. here's one of them lmao

---------

loosely inspired by Abigail (2024)

---

Hob is a reformed criminal, ok; he got out of that life when he met Eleanor and created a new life for himself when they married, identity and all. He didn't want any children they had to have to deal with any of that. He was even going to school to become a teacher.

And then Eleanor died and Robyn was taken and now Hob is being forced back into that life to get him back.

It's a kidnapping job, some rich fuck, with a large payout and Hob doesn't fucking care, he just wants his son back.

When he sees it's a 12 year old boy who's scared out of his mind, though, that's when he snaps.

He can't do anything, not yet, not when they- whoever they are, he still isn't sure- still have Robyn. All he can do right now is wait and protect the boy.

--

so it eventually gets revealed that the kids name is Orpheus, that his father is Dream (who's known to be incredibly dangerous, there are stories about him, most of which Hob doesn't believe because hello, vampires aren't real!!!)

except Hob gets proven wrong when Orpheus gets scared (and hungry) enough (he's just a baby!!!) and starts killing off his abductors. he only leaves Hob alone because he was nice to him and confided in Orpheus about his son.

Dream finally shows up at the end of the bloodbath (he was out of the country or something, idk lmao) with Robyn, who had been taken by Burgess (he wanted to force Dream into turning him and that's where Dream thought Orpheus was at first) and is all "you protected my son in the end and ur hot, i'm gonna turn you and make you my bride :)"

and Hob is like "!!! I don't want to get murdered if I say no so I guess I don't have a choice!!!"

and so Hob gets turned, he and Dream are now vampire married and fuck often, and Robyn and Orpheus bond over having weird dads (and when he's old enough, Robyn chooses to be turned as well; no way was Hob gonna make him go through puberty AND deal with being a vampire) (really Hob just didn't want to deal with the angst that came from it all, it's like the normal teenage angst bullshit got doubled and he was NOT doing it, thank you very much) (Orpheus was bad enough, and he was a born vampire; he definitely got the dramatics from his father)

Awww so cute! I remember the trailers for Abigail and thinking that the young lil vampire killing people was a cool concept.

I think the vampire family with Dream and Orpheus and Hob and Robyn would be so cute 🥺 like they live in a big spooky chateau with lots of vampire servants (who are also their friends tbh. Cori is their terrible terrible butler and Matthew is meant to be a valet but hes honestly just Dream’s weird friend at this point) and they go on hunts to kill bad people and eat them, and sometimes they go into town and do normal human things (Dream is really not very good at pretending to be human, but it makes Hob and the kids laugh a lot to see him try). Of course Dream hosts fancy vampire balls sometimes, and persuades Hob to get all dressed up in flowing red ballgowns because they're vampire married and Dream wants to show off his bride to everyone!!!

Orpheus and Robyn have to get Matthew to help them in solidly soundproofing their bedrooms because their dads are having NASTY sex every night. Orpheus has it worse because he has super vampire hearing - he did NOT want to know about his dad and step-dad's kinky strapped to an altar drinking each other's blood sex. But he gets his revenge eventually with a fellow vampire called Eurydice when they fuck on Dream’s favourite red velvet couch. DEFINITELY dramatic just like his father, honestly.

But next time someone tries to kidnap literally anyone in the Endless-Gadling family, they're in for a big surprise. Dream and Hob are protective of their baby boys, and Orpheus and Robyn are soon fully grown vampires ready to protect their dads. They really are the cutest family! As long as you're not squeamish!

[babydollmarauders]

MOTHERHOOD — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

start of the el!hughes au

summary: in which y/n makes a small mistake in the middle of the night and thinks it makes her a bad mother, so jack reassures her

warnings: breastfeeding (idk if that should really be a warning but just in case)

**NOT MY GIF**

was a baby planned? no. in fact, if it were, we definitely would’ve started trying with a summer birthday in mind so Jack wouldn’t have to leave.

but alas, the universe had different plans for Jack and i. not to say we weren’t over the moon when we found out. this past 3 weeks with our daughter has been amazing, we love her with everything we have. but mistakes are inevitable.

**

a slightly static cry echoes from the baby monitor, effectively waking me up for the second time tonight. it feels like my head has only just hit the pillow, but without even being completely awake, i know it’s actually been roughly an hour, possibly two. i peek an eye open to look at my alarm clock. 2:15am.

squeezing my eyes shut, i groan as i turn my head towards Jack’s pillow.

“Jacky, it’s your turn. i got her the last time.” i mumble, letting my breathing even out again with the knowledge that my husband will get the baby.

it feels like no time has passed when i’m woken up again by Eleanor’s crying. it almost seemingly amplified. i peek my eye open again to look at the time. 2:30am. it’s been fifteen minutes.

“Jack, did you not hear me? do you not hear her?” i reach a hand out to shake him awake, but instead touch cold sheets. my brows furrow in confusion before my head snaps up.

jack is on a roadie.

his first since El was born. oh my god, how could i have forgotten?

i just let my baby cry for at least fifteen minutes, thinking that Jack would get her, and he isn’t even here.

tears spring to my eyes as i stand from the bed, speed walking to the nursery.

“it’s okay, El. mommy’s here.” i coo as i pick up my daughter. slow tears roll down her cheeks, pulling at my heart strings.

i change her diaper but her crying continues, letting me know that her main concern is hunger. i rub her back as i bring her back to Jack and i’s room, sitting in the bed and unbuttoning my pajama shirt to let her latch onto my breast.

i gaze down at my newborn. watching her eyes flutter as she eats. so fragile and beautiful.

tears gather in my eyes at the recollection that i let her cry for so long. silent sobs rack my chest as i admire my sweet baby.

i reach out with my hand, blindingly searching for my phone on my nightstand. grasping it in my hand, i disregard the 2:45am time and click into the contact i was searching for, pressing the facetime button.

i continue to quietly cry as i watch El eat, listening to the phone’s outgoing ring. i perk my head up as i hear the facetime connect, a dark screen popping up.

“babe? what’s up? is El okay?” Jack’s groggy voice comes through the speakers, reminding me that i woke him up.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” i cry, startling the baby and making her jump in arms.

“hey.” Jack coos, but he’s now turned the lamp by his hotel bed on, letting me see his panicked face. “what happened? is she okay? what’s wrong?”

“she’s okay.” i manage to get out. he lets out a sigh, his shoulders dropping in relief.

“then what are you apologizing for, sweet girl?” he asks. he’s being so kind that it makes my breathing shake.

“i’m a horrible mother.” i confess. “you should’ve never had a baby with me. i’m horrible.”

“what? no, you’re not.” his words come out harsh, seemingly offended by mine. “why would you say that about yourself.”

“i let her cry.” i tell him. my tears drip down onto my chest and i wipe them away before they can reach Eleanor.

“i’m confused.” Jack replies, midst yawn.

“i woke up and she was crying, but i was so tired, Jack. i- i forgot you were gone. i thought you were gonna get her, because we switch off and i had just changed her diaper like an hour ago.”

i’m broken off by my sob, gasping to catch my breath.

“so i went back to sleep.” i explain. “i woke up fifteen minutes later to her still crying and remembered you were gone. but i let her cry for at least fifteen minutes, Jack. i’m a horrible mother. she deserves better. you deserve better.”

“hey. look at me.” he says. i open my eyes from their pinched shut position, looking at my husband on the phone screen. “you are not a bad mom.”

“you made one small mistake. you were tired and you’re not used to me not being there to help take care of her. that doesn’t make you a bad mom. it makes you human. aren’t you the one who keeps joking that you have ‘new mom brain’? you’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached to you right now. it’s normal.” he reassures me.

my breathing calms slightly as i set the phone down to take care of my now-sleeping baby. setting her down in the bassinet beside the bed rather than taking her back to her nursery. i readjust my top, buttoning it back up before picking the phone up again.

“it is?” i question.

“yeah. i’m sure if you asked the other WAG’s right now, they would tell you they did the same thing, or something similar. you’re not a bad mother.”

“you promise?”

“i promise, baby.” his eyes are soft, my tears finally halting. “is she asleep now?”

“yeah.” i nod my head, flipping the camera around and angling it so he can see El sleep.

“we made that.” his voice is giddy, not bothering to hold back his loving smile.

“yeah, we did.” i whisper.

“get some sleep, eh? i’ll call you in the morning. i love you, sugar. and i love our girl.” he yawns once more, turning off his bedside lamp and relaxing back into his bed.

“i love you too, Jacky. thank you for picking up. and for reassuring me.” i whisper, turning my own lamp off and plugging my phone back in.

“always.” he replies before we hang up. i take one more look at Eleanor, making sure she’s okay before i lay back down, closing my eyes and letting myself drift to sleep once again.

-

[tiredlilguy]

I’m writing from my phone because I have carpel tunnel and my hands hurt. Take these randomly assorted BSD hc’s:

(possible SB spoilers, but just the characters)

- Albatross has every piercing under the sun: like he’s got a nose ring, eyebrow piercing, snakebites… anything u can think of

- Oda wears rings 🤤, plays with them when he gets anxious (he’s also my husband)

- Chuuya is a summer child (born in the summer), so he love it when it’s hot af outside and drags his friends outside to go eat lunch with him or smth (HES HUMAN IN MY HEART STFU, I DONT WANNA HEAR IT RN)

- opposite to Chuuya, Dazai is a winter baby, but he also hates the cold

- sometimes Adam sends Chuuya random incriminated texts on his phone. It’s usually just something silly like “Hello! I hope you’re eating sugar and growing very healthy.” Or maybe a random fact like “Did you know that cows have a strong sense of smell? They can perceive smells at a distance of up to ten kilometres.” Chuuya will usually not respond back, but he scoffs and lets out a small laugh to himself before closing his phone

- Ango hates bugs, he will cry if he sees a spider sitting on his paperwork

- Oda and Ango when drunk are very enthusiastic and energetic. Oda will dance on the counter while pretending his glass is a mic. Ango will join him too- The only person that knows this side to them is Dazai

- animals love sigma for some reason. Like Disney princess style love sigma. Sigma however, hates that this happens to him, and actively avoids walking in forests or places where animals usually reside.

- Oda is a good dancer, like good… old style bar dancer. He’s quite impressive actually, and it’s attractive-

- Chuuya and Albatross both have heterochromia.

- Literally no one except for Chuuya has seen Albatross with his sunglasses off. That shit is basically glued to his face

- Verlaine is bougie as hell. Like I know he’s Mafia, but I think it’d be funny if he was… more bougie than like everyone else in the Mafia. Like he actively buys and wears expensive shit.

- Verlaine has a good hair routine.

- Doc may or may not have a plushie collection. And they may or may not all be sea animals

- Kunikida seems like he’d have an emo phase. Idk why… I just think he would.

- Despite only using one bar of soap for showering, Atsushi actually smells really nice for some reason (he smells like lavender)

- lippman is a swiftie, doc is a barb (I discussed this with one of my moots and now I can’t stop thinking about it)

- since it’s hinted is SB that Lippman would still make ppl fold at him wearing feminine clothes, I hc that he does not rly give a shit about gender or what one should/should not wear

- Chuuya has taken this tip from Lippman and has worn skirts before with his outfits

- the real reason why akutagawa dislikes mandarins (that’s canon btw) is because one time he was offered one to eat and as he was peeling it the mandarin juice got in his eye and he chopped it up into bits out of anger

- Chuuya only ate bread and soup when he was in the Sheep, since then Kouyou has introduced him to the finer foods in life, and Albatross introduced him to junk food

- Dazai used Chuuya’s shower when he was in the Mafia because he didn’t have a shower in that old ass storage container

- Oda does not pay for haircuts. He cuts his own hair, and one time he was too busy so he had to tie it up in a low pony

- Kunikida likes things that are weighted (weighted blankets, etc)

- Oda’s a little bit tanned because of jobs that have to do with being outside in the sun for long periods of time

Ok that’s all. Enjoy. I should make an Odasaku hc list because he is my absolute favorite character (next to the flags). Let me know if u want a specific bsd character hc. I will write it >:3 (also please tell me ur hc’s too. I love hc’s) I’m gonna eat lunch now.

[shannonsketches]

Thinking about Restorative Justice AUs this morning and I'm gonna copy/paste from the friendchat

part one:

Like yes okay I did listen to the apology song from book of life recently and after a moot posted something about the producer interview where zelda might’ve dismantled the monarchy after seeing how kingdoms are formed but didn’t have time in the game and I had feelings about it but imagine an TotK au in which the sages wanted to make gan human again because the circumstances of his corruption were also rooted in evil and the power of friendship means sovereign states full of love or something whatever you get me but like, they do the thing where they’re working on reigning gan in by seeing him (tm) and when it starts to work sagebody rauru is like ‘what are you doing he’s a monster No restorative justice (/personal grudge bc yknow he killed his wife)’ and light arrows him which makes him get monstrous again and goes after rauru and the kids have to figure out how to stop two stupid dogs from ripping each other and the whole world apart again

part two: (Re: That ^⁠ )

because I got hit with Apology Song from Book of Life AND I Know Who You Are from Moana -- Restorative Justice AU in which Riju is the one that can reach him because she knows what it's like to be a kid in a position she didn't ask for (in fact the exact same one he was born into) who is doing her best and she knows how angry and scared he must've been because she is also angry and scared and she knows he must be loyal to the darkness now because he felt betrayed and forgotten by his people but they still remember who he was before and she knows he used to be a hero and she knows he just wanted to keep his people safe and she can forgive him if he can forgive her but his enemies are her friends now and his people are okay they're okay and he doesn't need this power anymore his people are safe his war is over and he can come home to rest (die, finally)

and what if rauru light arrows him but hits riju (she's okay) and gan gets beasty and fights rauru and zelda splits them up and chains gan and rauru is like 'good chained like the beast you are' and goes to kill him and finds out he is also trapped by Zelda's light magic and she's like 'no this is fucking over goddammit i've seen how a kingdom is made and all of this is wrong i'm dissolving hyrule' and rauru's like '>:0 princess zelda-' and she's like 'QUEEN ZELDA. I AM THE DAUGHTER OF HYLIA'S LIGHT AND YOU WILL HEAR ME' and she banishes him back to the sacred realm so he can see his wife and be at peace whether he likes it or not and she destroys the malice/gloom on Gan and fixes Riju's injury with one like big untapped power boom she's been trying to reach this entire series and Gan can just sit with Riju and get to see her, this strong young Gerudo who is so brave and loves her people so much, and he can just idk crumble into sand and be part of his desert again

there was a Whole Movie in my head this morning

Bonus:

So Riju gets the closure of knowing she did destroy the evil that killed her mother and also gets to see and know and bury a legendary gerudo king and help his soul find the peace he clearly couldn't get on his own and Zelda gets the closure of knowing the cycle has ended and her power was ultimately used for good and Link gets the closure of just getting to hug all of his friends after a supernatural war

now he can go be babygirl to his boyfriend and his boyfriend's wife

and zelda can go be a hippie communist like her great great great great great x100 grandmother before her

and Baby Teba whose name escapes me can go be a great archer and Yonobo can go back to doing mining and capitalism

inevitably pissing off a dragon in the depths who will come out and eat them all

[zarkishere]

Meet... Ruben Connor!

My dumb dumb stupid idiot I hate <3

(i do wanna say a lot of the things he does is based on how I play RDR, so yeah HAJKSGHKJASG)

(yapping time. this is your fault.)

HE'S SO SO DUMB I LOVE HIM I'M SO SERIOUS. GOD. HE MAKES ME SO MAD. idk if I'll ever tell the full story, buuut I'll tell a bit rn :)

He was born in Brazil to a Brazilian mother and a Mexican father, but when he was young his dad got sick and wanted to see Mexico one last time so they went all the way there...and mf died like a week after and then wtf like what are they gonna do that's crazy

ANYWAY, SCARS AND RANDOM FACTS!!

ion wanna explain where he got these, but I WILL say the arm one was kinda because of Dutch....yikers

he loves animals. Like. God. Keep him AWAY, or he WILL try to get close to the cute baby (cougar)

is into embroidery!!

he overthinks a lot and sometimes just starts eating to distract himself, so Grimshaw taught him how to do embroidery so he had somth to do with his hands other than Cut Up Random Shit or Eat

comes home soaked in blood so often he has to buy new white shirts every few days (it's a real problem, he spends so much money, god help him)

has forgotten most of his Brazilian, and it actually makes him very upset

Next, relationship charts! (THIS IS A VERY SELF-INDULGENT OC LEAVE ME ALONE)

what he thinks of others

notes!

Ruben sees Arthur, John and Tilly as siblings!

Has called Arthur and Charles dad more than once while drunk (don't mention it he gets really embarassed)

generally /pos with everyone :)

you see, Ruben is very much a yes man and is sometimes wayy too easy to trust, so for him to think negatively of you, you gotta be some fucked up bastard 😭😭

Likes referring to people by nicknames based on animals. Like, Javier is coyote, Kieran is patito (YES IM STEALING FROM MYSELF), John is Lobito (he fucking hates it), etc.

calls Dutch dad when he needs something, calls Hosea dad when he's genuinely upset

in general, Hosea is the favorite parent (to no-one's surprise)

...what? what about Javier? Oh, uhh...it's complicated. (aka, they're two men in 1899. They're never giving what they have a label they're just Something) (they are really gay tho like damn get a room)

actually really disliked Javier at first! (internalized homophobia + being forced to go with him since "they're both Mexicans") (yeah Dutch said that, and while Javier brushed it off Ruben Did Not Forget) (he got over it eventually tho)

what others think of him

notes!

most people think he's too reckless, tbh.

he is tho ngl LMOA--he'll run in with only a knife if he's all out of bullets, will accidentally throw the dynamite at his feet and panic or other bullshit like he's a bit of a bloodthirsty idiot

Micah doesn't absolutely hate him cuz he finds enjoyment in seeing the fool do fucked up shit

Charles often gives him That Look when he's doing something wrong, and he'll immediately know to stop

alright idk what else to say HJKASGHJKASGJKASG I could yap on FOREVERRRR, but you don't care so it's okay

this is YOUR FAULT for telling me I should post about my rdr2 oc okay

anyway, thank you for telling me that, it's made me happy <3

[moldypoff]

I NEED TO GET THIS OUT BEFORE SOMEONE BEATS ME TO IT

Crack Mouthwashing AU where Jamboy gets sedated and we give him one of those procedures once Anya tells you instead of Cap’n abt being pregnant (still pre-crash). Or- idk, I mean you and Daisuke (because it’s a crack au and nobody gives a shit)

This is also an AU purely based on a conversation I had with @bananamaxpng

Anywho, this AU will be called

SEA HORSE MOUTHWASHING AU

Is this original? No, technically @bananamaxpng made it but I would like to build on it! (Thank you so much for the idea dude, I dunno if you want to take it seriously and make it your thing but if you do I’ll gladly stop my thing!)

I WILL BE MAKING FANART FOR THIS AU

Random headcanons and OG convo I had with bananamaxpng under the cut

I wanna say it happens somewhere after the birthday party fiasco (I need to refresh my memory on the Mouthwashing timeline)

Things are tense, Curly dearest ain’t really doing much about the growing situation so Anya turns to someone else for help, you!

Good thing your a surgeon or whatever because, oh my gosh, your trained in this really fucking specific procedure

Anyways, you get Curly in on it, he gives you the greenlight, and you fucking get Japist into the Medbay and knock him tf out only to then knock him tf up (terrible wording I need to work on that)

You might be wondering, or not, because it’s pretty staightforward, “Is this legal?” HELL NO. Honestly though? What is he gonna do about it? Tell the police? Listen,

There’s no way he explain that the procedure wasn’t consensual, just like how we can’t prove Anya’s pregnancy wasn’t consensual/an accident

Jimmy can whine and complain all he wants but the company won’t do anything and the law can’t really nail anyone because there’s no concrete evidence to go off of.

For the rest of the trip though I THINK it can be somewhat smooth sailing

Everyone know’s Jimmy’s pregnant, yk what that means

A. He’s suffering, B. He’s bitching about it, C. He has to have a chaperone because he’s unstable and, well, with child, they’re not about to let him do much by himself

His routine is, as of now, consisting of eating, sleeping, bitching, getting checkups, minimal piloting, and- idk, leisure time

I know, it sounds like pampering, I get it, MUCH more than he deserves, but liiiiike, it seems like a fix no? He’s a burden, sure, but he

Can’t crash the ship because he has someone to accompany him all the time

Is kinda at the mercy of everyone because he’s tired, nauseous, ect.

a little dumber than usual (I saw a yt short about this from that one doctor guy, the brain shrinks a bit to help mama, or in this case dada, connect with baby once they’re born)

Will maybe be a better person because good soup (provided by Swansea, he know’s how to take care of someone when they’re pregnant he has kids), physically being at a disadvantage, and kinda being relieved of part of his duties might fix him.

But we know Jimmy, he literally craves power so you bet your ass at the very least he is going to try and tell everyone what to do because he’s WiTh cHilD (This is further down the line, at first he’s still going to try and do things himself but later I’d imagine he embraces it and tries to use it against everyone else)

His is renovating the ship because he is NESTING

Everything has to be cleaned, which is hard because the Tulpar has DECADES of grime to scrape away, if that feet were even plausible

He’s annoying, you can tell him to shut up but I think he’d cry, sorry (lots of stress isn’t good for this motherfather so like, you don’t need to appease him at every turn but try manipulating him into thinking you’re doing something for his sake and he’ll probably zip it then.)

Random note but he’s going to be fairly pretty in this state, something about everything inflating? (Pregnant glow, hair looking fab af, skin being clear af)

But yeah, that’s all I can think of at the moment. When the baby’s finally born- I dunno, chances are Jimama’s gonna give it up for adoption or get Anya to pay for child support/try to get her to take care of him and the kid because he’ll be hooked to pregnant princess treatment lmao (I swear if he becomes those people that keep making babies but can’t bother to take credit of them- we’re tying his tubes, on golly.)

Anywayssss, that’s all, it’s very late and I am very tired, this is poorly written please do not take this seriously.

(Og convo, as promised!)

[fairytale-poll]

ROUND 3C, MATCH 3 OUT OF 4!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Saki:

Psychic goth girl who was cast as Cinderella in a school play. The play was so poorly cast overall that the entire script had to be rewritten, thus “Cinderella-ish” was born. Hanajima played a Cinderella dressed in all black, and when confronted by the fairy godmother, she simply wished for meat.

idk if this is what you meant by 'acting' as Cinderella but in-universe she got cast as Cinderella in the school play, and the characters ended up re-writing the entire play to work around her because she was too Goth and disinterested to play a classic Cinderella character.

She plays the best version of Cinderella. All she cared about was going to the ball for the barbecue. The episode she's in is a really good one as well.

Overall Saki is not a Cinderella character, but you did say we could submit them if they were Cinderella in an in-universe play, and that she was! In Season 2 Episode 23 "It's Cinderella-ish", her class puts on a production of Cinderella and she ends up getting cast as the titular role, which a lot of other characters think is crazy because she's this straight-faced, emotionally-repressed, exclusively-wears-black kinda girl. Also her best friend Tohru (the anime's protagonist) gets cast as an evil stepsister, and she's one of the sweetest people ever and has so much trouble being mean to Saki even fakely and vice versa. Of course, Saki has no problems being rude to the Prince Charming character in the play, played by Kyo, a guy who's sweet deep down (but only to Tohru and his adoptive father) but is other wise a hot head who's always getting into fights. So between Saki as Cinderella having a genuine love for her stepsister and a general animosity with the prince, in addition to the fact that when she goes to the ball, all she wants to do is eat, not mingle, she makes for a very interesting Cinderella.

so this shoujo series has a storyline where the class puts on a Cinderella play but instead of the heroine playing Cinderella, shenanigans happen that lead to the heroine's goth best friend, Saki Hanajima, aka Hana-chan, aka Demon Queen, playing the lead role. Hana-chan's Cinderella dresses in all black against the wishes of the play's director, does not give 2 shits about the prince, and is just a general menace to society. I know she's probably not gonna win but I just wanted to share her with all of you bc I love her and the Cinderella-ish arc is to this day some of the funniest shit I've seen in a manga

their high school class decided to randomize who played which characters in their production of Cinderella & the creepy goth girl got cast as Cinderella & her painfully kind-hearted bestie got cast as the evil stepsister (among other mismatched roles) so they rewrote the play into "Sorta Cinderella" & Cinderella became a deadpan, lazy girl who only wants the best for her darling step-sister & who only went to the ball for the food.  in the end, instead of marrying the prince she takes his money & opens a restaurant with her sister & I love that for them <3

Cendrillon:

[Mod's Note: Warning for Persona 5 spoilers]

Her Persona is Cinderella. Her story is about disguising herself as another person to gain acceptance.

Her persona is Cendrillon, the French name for Cinderella and the name of an opera based on the story, and it mirrors her arc in the game. When you boil her down to the essentials, she essentially made a wish that was granted by her....... fairy godtherapist to go from pauper (bland and talentless depressed Sumire) to princess (her dead sister Kasumi, bubbly, personable star gymnast). As far as she sees it, even, it's this transformation that helps her 'get the prince' (read: befriend the protagonist). Why should she win, though? Umm because she's my baby my angel my sweetie my cherub specialist character in fiction and most important girl in the universe. Out of love in your heart for me, tumblr user [REDACTED], vote for her.

GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH ok ok ok everyone here's my autism. Major spoilers as you get closer to the end btw! - She has three personas, in order they go: Cendrion, Vanadis, Ella. The first and last are taken from Cinderella, with Cendrion being the german name for Cinderella, and of course Ella just being a shortened form of Cinderella. - She does gymnastics, although a lot of her phantom thief design is heavily based off of ballet as well! In particular the black swan mimicking the white swan, and while of course that's not cinderella, it does remind me of how Cinderella was treated in the beginnings of the story - Cinderella and her both have major sibling trauma! It's a huge point about her character. Major spoilers, but she pretends to be her older sister Kasumi for most of the game; the sad truth is that she's in fact the younger sister Sumire. She's pretending to be her older sister because she can't deal with the trauma of that day she ran out into traffic and her sister got hit instead of her. (It does not help that her therapist uses eldritch god powers to gaslight her into thinking she is her sister.) - They're both pretty and also I love sumi so much she's everything to me. unironically the character of all time NOT FOR PROPAGANDA but for mod: image because it can be awkward to find one: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/UyOsg26GnZU/maxresdefault.jpg also!!!! if you're interested in not potentially spoiling people you should call her Kasumi Yoshizawa. If you aren't worried about that though and want to be accurate, Sumire Yoshizawa is better. Or just call her Violet because that's her codename!

Initially introduced as Kasumi, she is a dorky and sweet first-year student who looks up to the protagonist as a mentor and eventually joins the Phantom Thieves in figuring out the fake reality they're trapped in. However, it's revealed that she's actually Kasumi's sister Sumire, who was always stuck in her more talented sister's shadow and yearned to be Kasumi. Unfortunately, she got her wish when her sister died saving her and her therapist brainwashed her into believing herself to be Kasumi. With help from the protagonist, Sumire realizes she was holding herself back and breaks free from her false identity, embracing her true self and rebelling against the hollow utopia. Her initial Persona--an embodiment of her true self--is Cendrillon, and her third tier ultimate Persona is Ella.

Sumire dosen't just pretends to be her dead sister, she was brainwashed into believing to be her by the final act's main villain/her fairy godfather figure, because that was her (misguided by trauma) wish as she believed that her sister was better than her. The final acts has a lot of 'making wishes come true' theme that connects her to Cinderella even more, also she does have a bit of 'save by the prince' thing going on with the game's protagonist

Please please vote my girl!!

Sumire is such a cute and cool character and deserves to leave the life of cinders how the fandom treats her and be a shiny princess!!

[littlebabyself]

Hello! :3

I saw you were accepting requests so I wanted to ask if you would do an Eddsworld one with Matt as a CG?

If not then please just ignore this!

Byee <3 :3

hiii!! Ya! Been a while since I watched Edda world but I think I still remember:3

Eddsworld Matt caregiver headcannons!

•not entirely sure what’s going on but it’s okay because he never is

•fantastic with kids (and littles)

•loves to watch kids shows with you

• very affectionate (always cuddling, kissing your hair, holding you, ext.)

• draws with you

• uses nicknames like gremlin,goofball,sweetheart, tiny, baby,

• buys you dumb t-shirts like “daddy’s boy/girl/kiddo” or “dad answers to me” stuff

• very stupid but like in a silly way not in an intelligence way

• born to be a girl dad but is great with boys too

• makes the best milk idk it just tastes better when he is the one to heat it up

• he is THE tickle monster

• he’s very communicative, like there’s set boundaries and he always follows them.

• loves to baby you but not in a mean way, more like a loving way.

• very chill on what you eat as long as you eat okay when you’re big

• he takes you on lots of outings

______________________________________________ hope you enjoy!

I’m gonna start getting back into writing and headcannons but I’ve been super busy. Schools out soon tho so there will be more fanfics, headcannons, TikTok’s, and yt content!

YouTube:smallestlittlestrawbaby

TikTok: smallestlittlestrawbaby

Roblox: smalleststrawbaby

AO3: smallestlittlestrawbaby

watt pad: smol-boy-is-lost

______________________________________________

[yourfriendlyshapeshiftermonsters]

UGHHHHHH. I stayed awake to finish my homework but now i can't sleep. So here some sketches and my work in progress comic lore because why not. I haven't posted my art in the past weeks or so

Before explaining,let me explain how my world work first. In this earth,there's a random place where there are a stronger rush of magnetic energy/magic. It act like air,every living being need it. But it was an everyday thing that they didn't really think it's a strange things. Everything that exist in this world can absolutely absorb magic and store it inside it their own way, but there are definitely some that are better at absorbing them. They're usually called overcharged item which usually be used at mage staff and etc but besides that

There's actually two kind of way approach objects at reproduction/existing really

1. The old fashion way.

When a flesh creature has perished, rotting and only leaving a bit of flesh and bone besides an overcharged item,it soul and dna will slowly goes to the overcharged item. This situation was described as ants carrier(i'm suck at name) since the creature feature will be dragged through the ground into overcharged object,connecting it to the item (like ant,duh) like gravity (idk how to describe it but bigger magi can attract small magic like how gravity work. I'm bad at describing this one sorry).

And after that,the sarcass would slowly be healed by the new rush of magic while it attaching itself into the item. Now,the environment play a hard role at this. From health,dna,how it look and such. This overcharged item basically slowly draining others magic since more features mean more place to absorb energy. Making the place really vital to the object growth. And after a long 5-12 hours,your object has now born! This prosejure was hard to do and easily fail due to climate. But anyone that was born this way was usually a strong and even immortal being that exist even until now.

Yeyyy holy shit i wrote a super long paragraph. Anyway

2.nowdays way!

Since bone and overcharged item are now a super rare item (and expensive) due to how many living things that exist nowdays. This was now a common way objects reproduce. This was possible to do for one object,but two or more objects are recommended since this prosejure can be quite draining. Firstly,the object parent need to choose what objects their child are (recommend to choose one that assemble/represent an aspects of them the most). For example,a coffee cup can choose a plastic cup. This was to make sure that your magic can be received by the said item. And magic to it for some months,then boom baby. Sorry this end is not that good my hands are suuupee tired rn :"D

-me earlier,i can't even feel tired rn >:^

Here a pics of the main villain and his helper!

I haven't named the villain yet,but i named the right one Lorelei/mele,i may changes her design in the future tho

Sea sheep

They're gonna be super big and fluffy. Breed by the farmers on rocky beach right by coral reef so they cannot be eaten by predators. They photosynthesize and eat moss on rocks. Making them rarely move and extra fragile because of that.The leaf like part are (almost) going to be like otter furr. Trapping oxygen inside it leaf so once it goes back to water,it can absorb the oxygen it got earlier on the surface.So,depending on it sizes, it can breathe underwater from 8-20 hour is. It easy to harvest leaf and the added benefit of your own choral farm made this one of the main job of the blossomstone-becah side folks

Anyway here a random pic of me playing A bit with my school assignment

[munson-blurbs]

TUI11

“‘Like, of course I know what love is! I love my music, my uncle, even you guys,” “And then Harris was born, and I was like, ‘holy shit, this is what it means to love someone.’” 🥹💗

“Better than a certain preschool teacher you may or may not be infatuated with?” My mans Jeff, hittin’ him with the hard questions! 👏🏼😂

The guys hyping Harris up at the park. 🥹 Then following his lead as promised. 😭

“But what are you gonna say when he asks about his mom?” JEFFREY.

“The guy practically chased me down the night we met, and now that he got to know me, he doesn’t want to sleep with me? Is my personality that much of a turn-off?” SWEETHEART NO.

“Metalhead, senior year three-peat, alleged Satan-worshiper Eddie Munson?” “Well, the jury’s out on whether I worship Satan or I actually am Satan, but, yep, that’s me.” 🫠

“I felt the same way, even if I didn’t realize it. I think that’s why I asked you to stay, why I held you…I’ve never done that before.” He’s sheepish but not ashamed; if he’s being honest, he’s pretty damn proud of himself for admitting it aloud.  *SCREAMS*

“You and my daddy could have a baby. Because you’re a woman and he’s a man.”

HARRIS MUNSON, YOU SLY DOG!

The idea of the three of you sitting in Benny’s just as you are now, only you’re eating for two, has his stomach in knots. And if he even dares to dream about what getting you pregnant entails? He’s a goner.   DAMN IT BUG, YOU KNOW THIS IS MY WEAKNESS. 😩 (Now I’ll have to pay big money to keep this series going that long. 🤣)

Harris instinctively slips his left into yours. He walks between you and his dad naturally, as though it’s always been this way. Like you all were a little family that made regular outings for pancakes and chicken fingers.🥹

Wayne’s since reported that the boy has asked multiple times about when “Daddy and Ms. Sweetheart will fall in love.” And, of course, he hasn’t stopped talking about your Saturday afternoon diner date, constantly badgering Eddie about whether or not you two were married yet.

Mac Daddy Wayne, we’re onto you. 😏

Your honor, We the people love Harris no matter what and he is a national treasure. His father has done no wrong and we will not stand by and let him believe he has. 🫡

You look down at the drawing of your little chosen family at Benny’s. It’s certainly different from the times you went with Grandma, but you’re filled with the same feeling of belonging that you’d felt then. 😭😭😭😭😭

BUUUUUUG! How does this series just keep getting better!?! HOW?!? I’m ao freakin’ obsessed and now I’m sad I’ve already read through it… I tried to take my time!!! 😂 A ✨MASTERPIECE✨ as always. Love you and this lil’ fam you’ve created. 🥹💚

Return of the Mac Daddy Wayne hehehe this man knows what he's doing and totally doesn't wingman in chapter 12

Leave it to kids to tell it exactly like it is. Harris just wants a baby sibling and will do what he needs to do to make that happen.

And does TUI Eddie have a breeding kink? Idk, maybe we'll see in future blurbs...

Thank you for following along with their chaotic adventures 💚

[blockofhoney]

When you’ve got time PLEASEE tell me anything and everything you wanna share abt the spice rack babies I love them dearly..

okay i'm finally home n can answer this!!!!!

so i have my own timeline / self-indulgent fix-it canon that i'm still in the process of developing, n it's in that world that these 3 came to be!! their birthday is march 23rd (b/c that's the day i created them lol) n i'd say they were born about 2, maybe 3 years after fundy adopts yogurt? that feels about right. nutmeg's the oldest, then anise, then cinnamon.

nutmeg's the resident explorer of the bunch- if there's a way to get into something, She Will Find It. she's pretty much the living embodiment of "curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back." she's very easily distracted n completely fascinated by Everything n spends most of her time staring at whatever's caught her attention. like a tbh creature!!! appearance-wise she leans more cat than fox n has tabby / striped fur.

now anise, anise is the absolute sleepiest little creature you're ever gonna meet. eepy 24/7. she is just constantly napping on every conceivable surface, n then some more surfaces that you would not define as comfortable. n i think any time she is awake is painful for everyone involved as she gets Cranky. how does so much anger fit into such a tiny body?? nobody knows. of the 3 of them, she's sorta in-between a cat n a fox, n has calico patterned fur.

n last but not least, cinnamon!! he's quite the energetic n loud little guy. he's very excitable n seems to have inherited fundy's inability to sleep. the good thing is once he Does manage to fall asleep, he's out like a light. just, completely dead to the world. also idk if you've ever seen that video of someone drawing a bug on a piece of paper n the cat swatting it as soon as the bug has all its legs but that is essentially him. he's also the most likely to eat a bug / generally put something in his mouth that he Really Shouldn't. his fur is all one color (brown i think?) n he leans more fox than cat.

now that that's all been established, let's get into the weird magic shit:

idk exactly What fundy is in my hc, b/c for me wilbur is this mimic-adjacent entity that hatched out of the ender dragon egg in phil's hardcore world n i haven't decided if sally is a salmon hybrid, a kitsune, or something else entirely. (it's worth noting that for the Longest time fundy thought he was just a fox hybrid b/c he just. wasn't told otherwise. wilbur talks w/ him about it sometime after he gets revived n when they're on speaking terms again n suddenly things start making a Lot More Sense to fundy.) either way, whatever his heritage ends up being, fundy's got some weird magic shit goin on, n his kids follow suit. b/c of wilbur, each of them has the ability to mimic certain things- nutmeg can mimic plants, anise can mimic animals, n cinnamon can mimic sounds. it took a while for these abilities to make themselves known, but once they did, raising these 3 got a Whole Lot More Difficult. (moreso than it already was, anyway.) i think cinnamon would've discovered his magic first, then nutmeg, then anise. n depending on what i decide sally is, at least one of them might have some more potential magic shenanigans.

okay i think that's about it

[reallifepotato]

Anyway I feel pretty bad about not giving that guy my number, it's not his fault I'm insane.

He looked pretty shocked when I told him my age but he covered it well lmao. Idk.

First round he said was on the house because he joined us. Then we ordered another round (tequila shots because I'm a basic bitch) and a margarita for me a beer for my friend and he took a really long time and eventually brought me a drink and was like "oh we didn't have lemon juice do I had to squeeze a lemon and it's not that good so I won't make you pay" ...hm...sure jan.

I wasn't sure if he was looking at me or my friend but tbh my boobs were very out there I'm not used to that. They were distracting me also. Anyway after a while he passed by and he handed us a pizza? Like a small pie? And we're like huh? And he's like "it's on the house" and we're like ok what's going on man why are you giving us free things

And he's like "first of all because I can because I work here. Secondly because I messed up an order for someone else and thirdly can I have your number?" And I was like 😮

um. Ok sure. I was pretty surprised because that's literally never happened to me before. Qnd I'm insane so in my head I'm like "worst case scenario I can ghost him or block him or something"

So then he's like ok cool do you want to come with me on my smoke break and I'm like ok but only if my friend can come because I got super nervous that he was expecting things of me which I was not ready for. So he said ok and we went outside the three of us, I was majorly drunk at this point because I had 3 shots in a previous place and like 3 drinks there so I was nice and giggly and we talked to him for a while and he showed us his tattoos (sasquatch....but no feet? And I'm like how can you have a footless bigfoot that's ?? Doesn't make sense man) and then I found out he was a baby born in '99. For a second I thought he was born in 2000+ I was gonna vom or something idk it kind of freaked me out (he said he thought I was around 22. Which is ok I'm always worried a perv thinking I'm 17 will hit on me. 22 isn't so bad)

We went back inside eventually, and there was a band playing so we were listening and chilling and eating our free pizza (which I thought was real ironic on account of how I'm lactose intolerant but that's besides the point) and then I went to pee but the lock was broken so really I just. Took a breather and time to think and when I came out there was another girl and I'm like oh hey the lock is broken do you want me to guard the door and she's like yes please so I did and when she came out she started talking to me and she's like oh the bartender is cute what do you think?

And I'm like well he's 23 and I'm 28 so I'm a little iffy about it

Anyway turns out she's his ex girlfriend ?? And she was trying to like be his wingman and talk him up to me and she's like oh but he's so nice etc etc

And I'm like you know the only reason he hit on me was my boobs and my eyelashes and she's like no he's not that kind of guy

And I'm like I doubt it

Anyway then I asked her....I don't remember? Idk. What he's like maybe?

And she's like "well first thing you should know is he's great at sex" and I'm like 👍 cool. Super irrelevant to me but cool. "And he's really great to talk to"

Ok well. So now I had this idea planted in my head that he was expecting me, an older ~woman~ who has her tits hanging out, to have tons of experience, which I super don't. Like not anything at all. I've never kissed a guy or been on a date or anything. So I felt this immense pressure that he was expecting something of me that wasn't going to happen?

Anyway we eventually paid (very little. We paid for like 10 drinks and a pizza the same we did for 6 shots at the first place. Idk how that place will make money with him there lmao) and I was gonna write my number on a piece of paper or something but there wasn't any. Not a napkin or receipt in sight. And he was nowhere to be seen (I didn't look very hard. But I was also quite drunk and having to close one eye in order to focus) so I just left

And then as soon as I walked out I panicked that he'll come out after me and idk why I just started running

Anyway if I ever go back I'll just say I figured he gave up because I'm elderly. It's really not his fault I'm bonkers in the head.

Anyway I shouldn't have worn that shirt I didn't realize how dangerous my boobs are and I forgot how straight men are weak about that type of thing.

He was really sweet and genuine and I could tell he was nervous and trying and I'm sure he'll make a regular normal non insane person very happy one day