#and idk its. it makes me sad
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House's tendency to rationalize feelings away and being frustrated at himself for still feeling them. It's hurting me 😢
At the end of 05x04 Birthmarks he did a paternity test... And even after it turned out that John wasnt his father, he was still drinking his whiskey, because it didn't mean anything that John wasn't his biological father, because things are still the same.
He's still sad, he's still depressed. The dipshit of a man passing still made him sad. And the thought that he can't even rationalize it away as hatred upsets him. And so he drinks.
And to that Wilson said no one can choose their parents... Because House rejects John as his paternal figure and yet deep inside, House still called him his dad.
#i think everything he said at John's eulogy was real. he meant every word#of course if his mother wasnt there he would be a lot meaner#but he meant it.#house pushes people away because hes scared of being hurt#hes an asshole because nobody connects with an asshole and thus everyone is at arms length at best#and yet when people leave him he still mourns#his ducklings from season 3#wilson in season 5#and even that dipshit of a man john house#and idk its. it makes me sad#it just doesnt have to be this way#i want him to chase happiness and i want him to be happy#instead he just refuses it because happiness is associated with pain#because everyone leaves him in the end#im so sad#house md#gregory house#greg house#doctor house#not to say that people cant reject their parents and feel no remorse for their death#its just that house... that sensitive man#that depressed fearful man#he cant do that. because deep down he craves that connection#he wishes his father were better. he wishes he was the man his father wanted him to be#which makes it even more painful to observe
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ryomina demons are winning
#does anyone here like them idk. theyre funny#putting off finishing p3re to draw these so i don't have to be sad just yet#cat’s art#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#makoto yuki#minato arisato#p3#persona 3#p3re#p3 reload#sorry for traditional sketch stuff... idk i just feel like i do better on paper even tho its literally the same style#like i can just get the lines better on paper. i think my brush is probably too thick digitally if i'm having this problem lol#makoto makes me so emo u guys have no idea. i didn't quite get this guy in the beginning but now...#full force understanding of a character. hes. he :( (incoherent sobbing)#tag ramble again SORRY I UEBRO4Y39NRMFMT#oh yeah the period thing going around is so funny. PERSONA 3 PERIOD SIMULATOR
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Saying Sorry Will Never Be Enough
Feeling a bit angsty so I had this idea.
Danny is dating one of the Bats/Birds, and everything is going great, amazing even! They know each other secrets (from powers to everything etc), they have a wonderful place to live (even if its in Gotham), Danny is in college on the way to becoming a space engineer (and he does side jobs for unrestful ghosts), he's actually getting sleep again since leaving Amity Park, gets along with their friends and family (those who Danny or his partner still talk to, up to the writer), there is even talk about marriage and perhaps adoption/kids in the future between Danny and the Bat/Bird he's dating!
Everything is setting up for a good life in his future, something Danny didn't think could have after his accident. He was happy finally, and currently packing up his old apartment because he's moving in with his partner in a few days.
So he felt like his core was being pulled out of him when he opens his apartment door one day receiving a knock to find his parents, who had hadn't seen since they kicked him out of the house after coming clean about being Phantom (their words of anger and denial that their son was 'dead' and now a monster, still hurt)
Sure they didn't attack him or proclaim he's dead but still their last words and anger HURT.
Danny didn't give them a chance to open their mouths, both looking nervous and guilty, before he slams the door close and turns invisible, grabs his phone, and fly's out of his apartment to his partner's place in a panic attack.
His partner, isn't happy.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Who Danny is dating is up to the writer/reader#Danny is happy only to feel dread when he sees his parents at his front door#Jack and Maddie have come to try to make amends#does it work? idk again leaving it open for people to play with#they didn't attack him after finding out he's Phantom or proclaim him dead but they said some nasty stuff#Danny booked it out of Amity after that though not wanting to risk it#Danny's partner isnt happy to find their boyfriend in a panic attack after getting a sos text#its been a few years since he and his parents have seen each other#Danny and his partner relationship with their own families/friends are once again left open for the writer/reader to play with#Is Danny still friends with Sam and Tucker? Or have they grown apart after Danny left? Was Sam upset he 'abandoned' Amity Park/her?#Was Tucker upset too? Idk again leaving it up to anything#Is he still in contact with Jazz? Or has she been pushing him to try to talk with their parents only it keeps rubbing Danny wrong#IDK I felt angsty today and wanna make some people join me in my sad corner. Join me. Join me. Join meeeeeeeeeee -pats seat next to me-
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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Three CaitVi fics I've read over the holigays
be but sworn my love (E) by antant616
This fic is literally the trope of: slow burn but they're fucking the entire time. Also, CaitVi here are exes who are forced to play Romeo and Juliet in a play and ooooo the drama! I'm HOOKED.
Dear Stranger, (T) by becasbelt | tumblr
If you want to cry, read this. Absolutely beautiful canon-compliant fic. And for real, just read all of Anne's works. They're amazing ❤️
lucid dreams ‘bout you (M) by rosetattoos
Oh GOD I've never been so happy to see an update for a fic before. The last time this librarian!cait fic updated was like two years ago, and I gave up waiting for it. But lo and behold, what a GIFT for the holidays!!
#personal tag#caitvi#read them yall READ THEM NOW#my backlog is so long its never ending and thats such a good problem lol#IVE ONLY READ SO LITTLE FICS DURING THE HOLIDAYS IM SO SAD#but these three are special to me i love them so much!!!!!!!!#also yeah im an AU enjoyer sue me lol#please give all our lovely writers some love!!!!!!#CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE WE HAVE OVER 11k CAITVI FICS???? I CANT#we are so lucky#also no gifsets for a bit! im kinda burnt out making things so much and wanna enjoy doing other stuff for the meantime#like trying to finish all my backlogs of caitvi fics lmao#maybe a few days? idk we'll see
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finished replaying ghost trick yesterday
#ghost trick#sissel#sissel ghost trick#ghost trick spoilers in the tags#gggrgrgrhrgrgrhfrthrhrgugrgrgrhrhdhrghrhrhrgrgrhrhrgrgrhrhrgrgrgrgrrhrhrgrgrgrhehrgergrgegehrhrhrhrhrgrgrhrhrhrrgrgrhrhfyrgrgrhrhhrhrgrhrh->#dhdhdhdbfydhdhfhffufdhfhfdhdhchffhfhfhdhdgegehdhdhdhdhdhdhdhfhehddbdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdh->#yomiel#yomiel ghost trick#they make me so sad#when they were making ghost trick did they think about how much the bond between a man and a stray cat who both had nothing and no one but#each other would destroy me. because it did. im dying. everything hurts#WHEN THE PERSON LOVES THEIR PET AND THE PET LOVES THEIR PERSON#idk how tumblr tags work i hope the keysmashes were enough to hide the name😭#i wanna draw more gricks i will try and draw more. its fun#my art#fanart
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today i offer you prompts 11-20 for isat month!! ignore your calendar THANKYUUUU <3
#isatmonth#isat#isat siffrin#in stars and time#isat loop#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat sadness#isat change god#isat spoilers#two hats spoilers#technically#is-at all the tags????? idk im tired!!#id in alt hope it makes sense im sorry in advanced!!#eyestrain#potentially#*looking at horizon DRAMATICALLY* i am no longer the person i was before i started this piece... (i hurty my hand </3)#maiora draws#today on: drawings that made my graphic design buddy really mad at me <3#i have developed so much beef with the favor tree while drawing this#i would fight the shit out of this fictional tree#and i would LOSE but whatever <3<3<3#i have so many nitpicks over this image but its OKAY its FINISHED now im FREE!! IM RUNNING AWAY#BUHbye have a nice day or night or whatever your hair looks amazing ok ciaociaoOOOOOO!!!!!!!
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a paperback book isnt alive until you break its spine btw like a long slumbering animal being carefully roused it actually needs you to do that like when you click your knuckles. for your paperback book the breaking of its spine is like the first stretch against your pillow in the morning
#have seen people online before say they dont open their paperback books past 45 degree angles so as not to break the spine which is crazy to#me r u afraid someones going to see your books and think they look like youve read them. you are upsetting the book when you dont#break its spine to read all its contents and not even do it that one favour to make the book more comfy youre making it so so sad#also make peace with a book with a broken spine or a bit of wear and tear so that you can start buying books secondhand instead of#off amazon maybe idk#reading tag
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they tell me i'm crazy / but you told me / i'm golden
points
#sighs. man idk#i NEED to scribble something out or i slam my head on my desk etc#past 1-2 hours my head is just.#be still be light believeeee meeeeeee . little birddd little birdddd rest your grey wings on my headdddddd#its a really nice song and it makes me feel all sorts of things :( sad and ouchies but also things#i like it anf the story it possibly conveys a lot#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#checkadii
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I WISH ARO HEADCANONS WERE MORE POPULAR IN FANDOMS
#THERES LIKE. BARELY ANY.#IF I GET LUCKY ILL SEE AN ACE HEADCANON#BUT VERY RARELY DO I SEE ARO HEADCANONS#SOBBING#stiff talk#my favorite thing is thinking about how many characters i see as aromantic but then i go to the fandom tag or to that characters tag and#everyone is shipping them and theres like 2 posts total about that character being ace and 1 post about them being aroace#man im just a bit sad about all this dont mind me#yea yea i know the whole “if you wanna see something make it yourself” thing but see heres the thing: im tired#i just wanna be able to go through a tag and see people share similar ideas and headcanons without me having to make all the work myself#and i bet theres plenty other people who feel the same#and even if there is a character thats like. somewhat aroace coded in some way people still find a way to go “but then they fall in love”#and like yea have fun or whatever but i just idk it just feels very lonely sometimes yknow#miss the times when i didnt think about this so much#cuz now that im older and know that IM aspec its like. oh. i wanna see more characters like me! but theres like basically none#SORRY FOR THE RANT LMFAO#ignore this im just feeling silly
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arrives 15 min late with a latte
......sup
#yosuke hanamura#persona 4#cool now that its done i can ramble in the tags#fellas im surprised hes here and done#did not think that was gonna happen#fuck i forgot smth#eh ill fix it before i make my print#anywho i might make more i might not who knows not i#yukiko is the next one i have half an idea on but also i have some shining nikki designs rattling around with my sole braincell#i also made a shadow alt for the back but idk if i like the mouth so yall arent gonna see him#also i need to find a gold foil guy that does odd sizes and like moq of 1#bc i wanna do this in gold foil#and its tarot card size bc im dumb as hell#but i want a print for my wall and i know sure as shit no one else will want one hence the moq of 1#my heart wants to make the whole major arcana for p4 but my past completed works says °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 𝑛𝑜 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・#so whatever gets done will get done#also im gonna reblog this a lot bc i put in too many hours to get a singular note by me so like if you dont wanna see it block me lmfao#if you have any hot takes for future cards please share with the class bc i only have ideas for yukiko and a full cast she does not make fr#so uh yeah yeehaw#idk what else to ramble about but like cannot believe yosuke fucking hanamura is the first chara to get a completed piece in 5 years#im not fucking kidding#the rest were all quick graphite or abandoned#hes not even my fave in p4- thats naoto protag chan kou and nanako#boys lucky to hit top 5#he just kinda crawled into my affection like some kind of sad pathetic creature idk how it happened either#maybe hes overprocessed now that im looking at it#nope i looked too long this is it this is how he is#ill do better by the women i promise
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source
#there is not much official art of this series and it makes me sad#or its rare to find idk#oniisama e#brother dear brother#nanako misonoo#rei asaka#fukiko ichinomiya#mariko shinobu#kaoru orihara
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i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.
picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.
it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.
and then he gets to the sword.
demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.
but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.
when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.
the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.
and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.
the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.
luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.
instead, he hears this:
"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."
but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.
"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."
"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."
"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."
"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"
somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.
weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.
xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.
it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.
sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.
maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.
maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.
"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.
hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."
xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.
...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.
(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)
#PIDW but make xin mo a soul eater fan#why did i actually write all of this#idk it just sounded funny but then i kinda got sad at the end because bingge is such a lonely person its genuinely depressing#at least in here he has his this weird talking demonic sword#someone transmigrates into xin mo and ends up becoming an emotional support and comfort sword#i would say that this could be shen yuan but the xin mo transmigrator couldnt give any less of a fuck about bingges plans#and would also annoy sqq if he had to deal with it#might write this#but i need to finish that time travel bingge x reader enemies to friends to lovers thing#yes you heard me right a bingge x reader let me make him happy ok#bingmei already has sqq bingge needs someone :( and therapy but that doesnt exist here#while i thought of this i imagined like this floating talking sword by bingge#i actually have like a lot of WIPs this is only one of them#for some reason i had this idea after seeing this one instagram reel where gojo was cinderellas fairy godmother and sang IT girl#and that inspired an annoying talking xin mo transmigrator#luo binghe#luo bingge#mxtx svsss#svsss#fanfic stuff#the scum villain's self saving system#svsss ideas
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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once you notice how few characters in media have brown eyes it really becomes impossible to not pay attention to it and its been bothering me ever since
#ganondoodles talks#i now its not that there are literally zero#but it almost is#and i get giving fictional characters non natural eye colors is fun#but blue and green is still everywhere evne tho those are also real#like sometimes it feels like brown is actively avoided#going for red or yellow instead#and i know in anime especialyl theres this idea i think that similar to hair color its bcs the majority of japanese people have those#so it feels 'more special' if its anything but that#idk how much of that is true#also its not just anime#feels weird#brown is such a diverse and beautiful color#makes me sad
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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