#and idk i'm just really fucking bad at being infected LOL

[olderthannetfic]

Gotta say the only time I didn't tag top/bottom was in fandoms where the top/bottom thing is canon. And I don't mean like just basic shipping of two random characters, I mean like canon couples like in MDZS where the canon couple has a canon top/bottom dynamic which is repeatedly shown in the canon.

Have to also admit that nothing made me more bitchy than when people started getting into the fandom and loudly bitching about top/bottom dynamics, and "heteronormativity" how switch is the only true way; or even funnier claiming that "There is no canon top/bottom". The people who outta nowhere came in and flippped the dynamic and then claiming that one's canon was also a bit wild, ie: Actually LWJ is the bottom and WWX is the top. Canon? Yeah it's canon. No we haven't read the novel, why do you ask? lol Idk where they even get that from, but that's just how I imagine their logic works.

Like I don't even care what you prefer. It was a bit of a moment of confusion when I first saw more and more LWJ bottom/WWX top pop up without tags. But nothing bad, a bit of an adjustment and I kept trucking a fucking along.

But the fucking discourse and canon-rejection that came along was the real urinary tract infection inducing fandom headache. At least if you wanna be homophobic about top/bottom shit don't do it in the canon MLM relationship fandom. Yes, throwing "heteronormative" at portrayals of gay relationships because you don't like the idea of top/bottom preferences exisiting in gay relationships is homophobic.

--

It's particularly funny to be so weird about it in that fandom.

Go read Scum Villain where bottom status is determined by who's the most emo about being terrible at sex and hurting the other person. Or Peerless, which in the part I've read so far involves the bottom forcing the top to crossdress while they're undercover and saying "You're a tool for breeding heirs" while they're having a bizarre, in-character argument... in private where no one can hear them. Or the Imperial Uncle where one of the extras is about the first time the top bottomed.

I'm really not into the most standard kind of top/bottom dynamics in Asian media, but it takes like .1 seconds to find something that's a little outside that mold.

[frownyalfred]

okay the extent to which your amazing fucking fics are possibly infecting every corner of my brain now is starting to get legitimately concerning,,, which isn't actually news, but what IS new is the way i looked at that one BvS gif you just blogged yesterday?? and IMMEDIATELY saw the facial expression ben affleck made and went "WOMAN!!!"

....LOOK MAYBE I'M THE CRAZY ONE HERE, I GET IT OKAY but like,, something about that bitchy expression where you just KNOW he's saying the pettiest fucking line just then?!?! i swear on my life i have NEVER seen a cis man's face do that before, with the CLOSEST approximation i possibly would have thought anybody with a Y chromosome was capable of [before seeing that gif] being the sort of expressions drag queens do. (i hope that doesn't sound too weird/dismissive — not to go off on too much of a tangent, but i could probably write At Least one essay on why it's okay to admit that drag as an art form is not really an accurate depiction of femininity, AS LONG AS you acknowledge that drag is still Absolutely a beautifully, passionately written love letter TO the concept of femininity that fully deserves the appreciation it gets; but this is still not what i'm actually here to talk about lol)

okay yeah ANYWAYS that gif just absolutely SOLD me on the concept of bruce as an omega, and i'm saying this as someone who literally already has an omega!bruce WIP!! like, i've always thought the core philosophy behind batman tends to make him unintentionally very female-coded (and i must confess, i'm really curious to see whether you already have an opinion on this lol) in many different ways, but this is the first time i've seen/heard ANY GUY, let alone a batman actor with the right physicality to be batman, pull of this specific look, so i guess i'm just... shocked to be vindicated??? idk lol but i wanted to share so hope u at least enjoyed my manic ramblings a little bit <3 -krish

Batfleck is pretty! I've been saying that for years! He's this very intriguing mix of pure Batman physicality like you mentioned (man is canonically bigger than Clark in BVS) but also so beautiful and downright mesmerizing in certain close-ups on his face. Plush lips, high cheekbones, big, shining eyes? On Batman?? Sign me up!!

People laughed at me when I specifically started a coral room in the BVS universe, because I know most superbat a/b/o fics generally use a smaller, more omega-typical Bruce (which isn't bad!). But I wanted to challenge the trope stereotype by still having large, muscular Bruce lean into those more feminine moments like you mentioned -- it's an interesting contrast, seeing him hold so much space and power yet as soon as he makes eye contact with Clark, it's almost...sensual.

I think there are a lot of interesting stereotypical female roles Batman as a character unintentionally fulfills. He's the head of a family, the emotional center, the one adopting children, the one reassuring them. The fun I'm having with a sky of honey is just letting Bruce name these behaviors for what they are, in universe -- attempts at fulfilling his instincts that he keeps trying to curtail or avert entirely.

(gif in question below for those who are curious)

[marshmellowtea]

i know i'm breaking my tumblr abstinence rn but i need to shout into the void cuz i'm freaking out so

i don't know how i'm going to make rent this month cuz i just started this new job so i don't have hours and i keep getting sent home early which is nice on one hand cuz i get the rest of the day off but it's also bad cuz i really need money but ALSO today i had good reason to be sent home because i got sick at work. the thing is i think it's a uti but they probably assumed i was throwing up every time i went to the bathroom (fair, i would've assumed that too lol) but......yeah no i think it's a uti and it's gross and i'm cramping having leaks for the first time since i was a kid so i may have had a panic attack about that in there before i realized that it was probably just an infection and thus very fixable. so that's fun i really enjoy being so stressed about my body i start crying at work 🙄 at least they were understanding about it but literally it's the worst

arrrgh i really can't deal with this on top of all the other horrible shit that's going on in the world rn and i need to be off this website as much as possible cuz the last thing i need is people guilt tripping me about ~not staying informed~ motherfucker it's either i stay informed and get suicidal and unable to do ANYTHING or i take a break from everything and try to get myself back together, which. god knows how long that'll take cuz there's just a lot going wrong at the moment. idk. i'm not sure how to handle it. really i just need to get my finances sorted but that's looking scary as fuck right now and there's not much i can do other than try my best during my training period and hope i get more hours.

also my period hasn't started yet and idk how worried i should be about all that. hooray.

[drdemonprince]

I'm on part 5 of your IUD series, but saw you post how you don't have periods for two years now. And forget about them. I feel the same, and I haven't had one in a decade because of birth control.

You know people who got hysterectomy. Only person I know with one was due to cancer. I think it would be something I do but I'm afraid of long healing, bleeding, infection, etc. Same with the IUD stuff. Honestly I'm afraid to get one because your stories, I haven't bled in a decade and I realize now how dysphoric periods were for me.

Idk a bit of thought dump and asking your thoughts. I don't want to give birth ever. I like not having a period. I use progesterone because estrogen fucked with my medication at the time, but also it meant a sugar pill week. I'm also bad with medication tracking enough to forget once in a while a bc pill.

(for the curious, here is the series being referenced):

Anon: Hysterectomies are actually really mild surgeries! My friend who just got one last week felt basically normal again after two days, and they said the recovery was far, far smoother than recovering from top surgery. It's a minimally invasive procedure with only a couple small incisions (they pull the uterus out your vagina after a few tiny snips) and a quick recovery time and it actually hurts far less than getting an IUD in from all that I've read, so it's worth looking into.

I love my IUD. I love that i'm good to go on birth control until at least 2030, perhaps even longer (the data keeps being revised over time, and it's seeming that IUDs last far longer than originally believed), and I love not having any hormones fucking with me beyond the ones i deliberately want to be fucking with lol. i love not having to keep track of pills, not needing to refill prescriptions, and so so much more.

if you want a set it and forget it approach to BC that doesn't involve hormones or having a period, id consider a hysto! but if you dont have too many issues with the pill youre on, you can stick with that. ORR you can get an IUD *and* start testosterone like i did lol

[mymelodyisme]

Hello again hon it's me the christmas anon, I hope your doing well and your feeling okay, I saw your gum and tooth post and hope that's not anything serious you know? As for me I'm doing alright....theses last two days has been heavy on my mind but I think sooner or later I'll be okay.

*leans over and kisses your head*

Better be taking good care of yourself too lol

-❄️☕️

Hey hon!!!! 🥳 I’m doing as well as I usually do. I 🥺 have a blister or something on the gum that connects the teeth to the chin. You know that little spot directly at the front center of your mouth that feels like a thin web yeah it’s tucked there and eating is a nightmare 😭 if it doesn’t go away soon I mean I’m not gonna do anything special I have to just wait till my dental appointment. So boooooo but at least I’ll be okay eventually, as will you!!! Life is like a tooth infection, you ache, and you feel it everywhere, but then you consume a nice little pill and it’ll make you feel better. 🤔 hmm that’s a horrible analogy.

But no, actually I do hope you’re okay 🥺♥️🩷 life can suuuuuuck and days can be awful and heck even a week or more can be stressful a time but what’s cool about being alive is that??? It doesn’t have to be so bad! You can be nice to yourself! You can surround yourself with people who are nice to you!!! And you can just say fuck it!!!! And walks outside and make it different. Running away to disappear into the woods dropping all socials and becoming some towns local cryptid is a perfectly viable option. I think I’d like to live in the woods as a witch but I’m 😭 a BIG baby when it comes to bugs. I wouldn’t survive in the wilderness for even an hour. I’m a delicate plastic flower. But no really, I say for the third time, you’ll be okay eventually. When I think about life I think back to how when I was little girl playing games like Homer Simpson Hit and Run. I always wanted to walk around the map and enter every building. And I knew that wasn’t possible. There’s nothing in them because why would the developers make that when they don’t have to? Well we’re real!!!

We can enter any building, go to any location, dig into the very ground we stand on and I think that’s kind of cool. There’s so much to life that we don’t think about and maybe sometimes we should be a bit more curious about what’s inside 🥳 treat yourself like a video game building. What can you find inside of yourself that makes you excited to take a peek. Idk!!! I hope that made sense!!!! It’s so happy to see you ♥️🩷

[sharonisthebettercarter]

comics inspired butchlander ideas<3

so.

guess who got inspired~<3 after readin' that loveable trainwreck known as the boys~<3<3<3

it's the original verse that started all the bullshit and definitely worth the read and messages being discussed and it's definitely not any worse or even as bad as the show is 'edge'wise (def got surpassed there!). plus it really does feel like its own secret playbook/au for the show with some unique insight on the characters and story lmao<3 may also do a bit of concept breakdown idk

heads up! long long post ahead butt~ i'll split this into segments with some bold and <3<3<3 highlighting each idea<3

butt~ full disclosure~<3...

they abso-fuckin'-lutely~ confirm billy butcher as the biggest fuckin' bottom of the entire series<3<3<3 the bratty bossy baby type (with a soft boi side~!) who even is THE GUY who confirms homelander's canonically huge dong~<3! and even just spiritually, I CANNOT<3<3<3 (if i don't fuckin' count the lovely show boi un-fuckin'-ironically calling himself an alpha male and how gotdamn CUTE that motherfucker who plays him is. FUCKING MAN PUPPY with them big ass wide pretty eyes and adorable nose and perfect second trimester belly when he gains just a little bit of chub<3<3<3)

i don't much imagine the actors/actresses *directly* anyhow when i write/read (kinda some features i may like do stay, but i do LOVE to play with them sometimes, some comic features generally tend to stick (namely muscle cause i need it), and moar often am picturing some kind of 3d/actor/comic amalgamation in wolf among us (game) style cause i'm weird i guess) who knows, maybe i might pick up a pen and actually draw what's in my head for once even tho its been goddamn years--

and boi oh fuckin' boi did these things gimme some fantastic au ideas, combined and separate cause why the fuck not~<3 we can always do BOTH (as i normally do anyway lol) ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

anywho~<3

visceral reactions to being bad for homie<3<3<3

listen.

so this shit was an INSTANT creative boner for me y'all that i CANNOT for the life of me figure out why people wouldn't wanna further explore this! like holy fuck, i know how much bad~<3 homie is dearly loved, but what about fix-its and GOOD~<3 homie (no i do not mean superman but we're gonna dive a bit into that lore), or. OR. get this... homie who is good but for the WRONG reasons~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))

like~ wanting to genuinely be the best fucking hero out of 'vindictive personal glory and pettiness'~<3<3<3 or simply because he literally 'cannot be bad' without reacting!<3<3<3

for a breakdown, in the comics, homie is gaslit into oblivion into thinking he is and then being bad (sort of an 'i think, therefore i am' evolving into 'i can, therefore i must' complex) and there's pretty much a build up to reveal he was never actually the 'villain' he was painted as from the start. (spoiler alert, butcher is much fucking worse) part of that includes him having visceral reactions to doing truly evil things he full well knows are legit evil

whether a mental breakdown, some mirror~ talk, or even him actually throwing up, the boi legit had a bodily *rejection* to evil and i just...

i couldn't help thinkin', well what if he *knew* it wasn't him because of this reaction, and he couldn't be gaslit... opens up a new can o worms, don't it~<3

just imagine the chaos to be had with this poor boi having to lose his goddamn lunch everytime he either does a bad mission for vought or is just fuckin' mean or lies to someone<3 it'd be fucking GLORIOUS<3!

imagine~<3 butcher getting 'infected' with homelander's peculiar 'affliction' thinking he's caught that 'raging case a vagina' only for it to turn out to be a 'raging case a morning sickness' for poor billy boo~<3<3<3

but beyond that, there are a couple lines that play in my head for his interactions with butcher and how he could take being accused given his... well, alibi lmao! things like~

"why don't you like me? everyone likes me."

"no, i think i'll just... continue to do the right thing. i love how much it grates you when people have a legitimate reason to adore me and especially when they cheer for me."

and my personal favorite~<3

"i'm the real hero. die mad about it."

because who doesn't love a sassy fine boi~<3<3<3!!

anywho~, this actually leads into the next bit which was actually an idea i had learning about the comics even before reading them. i have seen it played with somewhat?? though not really quite like this or in this capacity. BUTT~<3

detective husbands<3<3<3

or not quite there but getting there lol. this one definitely requires a key plot point from the comic in which homie was framed for what happened to becky (and others), but can still be combined with show elements or relate back to the show. the difference being that he is fully aware that he didn't do it and wants to find out, even help butcher know, who done it...

clone games are of course an option there, but i'm actually surprised that no one's thought about using doppleganger as the rapist. we know he can morph into anyone and is already an undercover rapist for vought's blackmailing, it's really not all that far fetched to consider he might end up taking certain 'looks' for joy rides and doing awful things to scared people. i for one think doppleganger is actually a great character for exploration and story twists, butt i digress

basically, this idea hinges on homelander *not* being the true culprit and offering to help~<3 it can also absolutely be combined with the last one<3<3 and even moar~<3<3<3

but mostly, i do love me that delectable idea of these two motherfuckers working together to figure out the truth~<3 and homie being the BEST worst soldier that butcher could ever possibly ask for. technically, homie can still be a huge dumpster fire for this as long as he didn't commit *this* specific crime, even different levels of trash fire, or clean as a whistle~<3

maybe with a dropped quote from marcus aurelius~<3 to help things along--"punish only he who has committed the crime."

so long as butcher finds him useful (OH--), homie's pretty much a shoo-in for the group shenanigans, he could be another vas but stronger~<3<3<3

aaaaaand~ since i mentioned it

clone games and shadow homie<3<3<3

clones are an obvious oldie, but a goodie i think. i also think they give lots of different people mixed feelings. it can for sure feel corny and overplayed (especially in the comics genre which lmao, let's be honest is a fuckin' cornfest in general), but can also be pretty cool and interesting, even thought provoking when done well.

side note~ i do think it was done well in the comic, if you go in knowing what to expect (and i honestly expected worse), you see the signs and build up even from very early in the comics. (also billy wut the fuck you stupid stupid entrapping clone accomplice cunt, how the fuck could you not be the slightest bit suspicious when a mountain of clearly very STAGED photos falls into your lap?? oh that's right motherfucker, ya don't actually care whether people are guilty or not as long as they're supes--)

but the abruptness in the way it changes the dynamic and understanding in what's actually occurred can give whiplash. it makes you realize just how tragic homelander's situation really is and then fully robs you of any enjoyment of his death because it is just that fucked up. start to end, you realize he never had a life of his own... and that's... that fuckin' hits. HARD.

in addition to unveiling that the story has been following its biggest villain the whole time, the themes are flipped entirely on its head, suddenly the *people* who were villainized and getting taken down are the ones who need saving and ooooooh... it fuckin' hurts, but it is VERY well done. especially when you realize that the story LAID THIS OUT from the very beginning~!

ugh, enough of that concept breakdown lmao.

basically clones are gonna be hit or miss for lots a folks, tho i do think it stems more from misunderstanding/bad stories and post hoc association, granted it can be an easy concept to fuck up (but also make flourish)

butt~ what about fanfic~<3?

OH. i see the opportunity~<3 and i am once again so disappoint no one else is gettin' creative! obviously, this one does hinge a bit more on the comic, but it can connect~<3 (can't do both~?;)))))))

the clone is.... well, there's a small part of me (micro~) that i must admit does feel kinda bad for him. in the same way i feel bad for the joker. in which this motherfucker is literally, legitimately, completely fucking insane?? and it's well... it's *difficult* to plainly judge a very broken mind as you would a 'normie'. (stiiiiiiil fuckin' hate 'em)

and in a way, i get it. to be *made* for one fucking purpose and then denied fulfilling it puts a mind in a fucked up place. he actually sorta mirrored homelander. both created for purpose, but while one was expected to meet a standard he was *not* prepared for, the other *was* prepared for his standard, and then denied the chance to meet it.

and there's a lot that can be explored there just between homie and the clone. especially if the clone *tells* him early on. ;) twin bros is also technically an option which i'll get to with shadowlander~<3 (which is not *quite* a twin)

butt. when it comes to clones, something that does often get explored is rapid deterioration of them or them coming out 'wrong' from damaged DNA. there's a whole somethin' there to be explored with an OG homie and a deteriorating clone or possibly more than one clone, cause why not? in the comics, his clone was an 'upgrade', but what if he hadn't been? better yet, what if they failed multiple times? what if the mental breakdown and subsequent framing of homie was the result of the physical and mental deterioration?

the deterioration itself could have even been a contingency plan to their original contingency plan (which honestly, TOTAL amateur move not to have one... BATMAN would have thought of one!) and these themes could be explored to bittersweet effect or even just sweet if the clone *does* tell him, and they work things out/team up against vought<3

combine the two (deterioration/team up) for a super tragic bittersweet feel that could even revolve around homie saving/failing his clone/brother/only friend... </3

OUCH.

moving on~ multiple clones because they all deteriorate rapidly. now THIS is a fuckin' fire starter... especially if the REAL homie is the one to never see the light of day, specifically because they *can't* make the contingency plan.

and here's where it gets REAL fun~<3 in this case, OG homie never sees light of day. one of the clones does commit the crime since they're all crazy *almost*, but the clones themselves keep dying, and public sometimes trashfire homie is a new clone every time and has many many many many doomsday arcs that he seemingly *recovers* from every time (new clone, who dis?... LMAO PERFECT. title right there!), vought changes things up.

public homie is the clones, he is always the clones. og homie (johnny boi~<3) becomes their contingency (assassin~) when needed since he is the only perfect one and he is very *very* well trained (as a weapon). (this can also super play into homie's anxiety for why they kept him behind the scenes too, noir can be show noir~<3, bit of role reversal actually)

kicker being when billy either *sees* og homie killing one of the clones, or has one of the deteriorating clones *literally* die and deteriorate/dissolve on top/in front of him as it's trying to kill him. it could even be one of the saner/good clones (or one that discovers homie) who finds and sends the pictures (of another clone, comic) to try get the boys to freee the real homie and stop vought

because i LOVE the idea of big dumb animal completely unused to human interaction homie coming under billy's wing, and billy definitely DEFINITELY abusing his trust and planning to use him as a weapon before~<3 well... let's just say that homie's story, general innocence (here), and need for comfort could do *things* to billy's cold dead heart<3

that one can also be combined with visceral reactions. and this homie would likely have never been with another person~<3 (what a cutie~!)

the a/b/o wrench could def be thrown in there in a special way too (thrown in like normal every other time~<3 the world def needs more omega butcher<3<3<3) but for the clones, they're all made betas/ pseudo or normal alphas while homie...

is a very rare type of prime (mmmmhmmm~<3 lol) or true alpha deemed too dangerous for society (bullshit of course, but omegas would likely be very common in this world and run things, alphas like homie would be killed at birth ordinarily, and the clones deteriorating could be explained by the tampered dna to make them 'normal'.)

i do also adore the idea that only a prime/true alpha can get a male omega pregnant for this kinda world setting~<3 (or even that they can get other normal *alphas* pregnant/bitch them) and that of course is an idea that can be used for any canon/au, show or comic.

how crazy would it be for billy to discover homie is an actual alpha and then use it against him to destroy his rep/turn people against him? it would be very on point, and could also result in an arranged bonding situation to *tame the dangerous alpha* with a *calm and rational omega*, guess who i have in mind~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

of course, homie's super sperm is still always an option because i love mpreg and bitching~<3<3<3

back to the topic. shadowlander/twins. twins are pretty self explanitory and of course, ideas can be combined. basically there were two and one got treated way way different. one or both finding out could either cause hella resentment, or these bois teaming up~<3<3<3

shadow homie... is a bit more complicated? and sparked from wanting the 'clone' framing situation AND show noir~<3 in which homie has a power he has no clue about because he has a literal dark side that can separate from his body. likely a manifestation that protected him when he was young (i love those imaginary friend type powers<3) that grew to be something... moar (and terrifying)

this kinda goes similar to the concept of mirrorlander and homie having DID, but a little different and more accurate to what's actually going on (on the show based on interview, and a little more respectful i do hope. DID is commonly used in explorations of duality and 'evil dangerous dark side' but it doesn't quite... help with common misconceptions about the disorder. just my two cents, if i were gonna explore this, i'd wanna flip it with a good personality that legit cockblocks homie every time he tries to do bad and is fighting for control/is the one causing visceral reactions to evil~<3)

but back to shadowhomie. basically, when homie was little, his literal powers created this demon to protect him. BUTT, as homie grew to no longer need him, he was caged up. and locked away. and forgotten. never a good combo and bound to cause issue~<3

so what happens? well, he has a 'clone' as this thing... developed. but he doesn't know it. shadow lander would likely hold everything dark about homie, in essence a literal manifestation of what his trauma created in him being *expelled* from his body and if not protecting him... well...

this kinda thing could also fuck around with homie's powers and make them act up a bit weirdly, maybe split what power he does or doesn't have/make them inconsistent, shadowlander splitting from him and not being with him could also be an explanation for homie's visceral reactions~<3 (full circle~<3)

but with this scenario, homie's not the culprit, but also... he is the culprit. but also not. yesn't.

i've always loved exploration in duality, and i like the idea of that side being able to fully separate, because it makes for great complexities and creative freedom. including giving homie his own doomsday arc~! (if you are unfamiliar with superman lore, i basically mean homie will end up fighting his dark side and ''''''dying''''''<3)

and that battle could be spectacular on its own when you consider that as a 'part' of homie, shadowlander could end up 'linked' to him. one gets hurt, the other does too. which always makes for... interesting fights. or since homie is the OG, it only works one way in which shadow homie gets hurt, but he wont, but maybe shadow homie is stronger overall to counterbalance it.

end result would be a struggle to 'reabsorb'/'kill' shadow homie, and to tie it back into the doomsday arc, billy could end up super fucking sad and depressed post '''''death''''' battle after a whole ass journey realizing 'oh shit, homie's *not* the bad guy' and also 'oh shit, i think i fell in love with him when i tripped, fell, and landed on his dick'... perhaps unknowingly with a little one on the way~<3<3<3 ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

twin works in place of shadowlander like the original clone too.

last thing i'll say is that i'm actually surprised they haven't used the clone option in the show given they have antony starr as homelander (*coughs in outrageous fortune* lmao). he's a guy who coulda pulled it off with flying colors and it honestly has me wondering if they may have a plan for a clone being made/used for the finale but a bit differently

MOVING ON~<3!

assassin homie and the boi who LEARNS<3<3<3

assassin homie is a fun one~<3

let's start with the 'boi who LEARNS'<3 what does that even mean? well, basically it means homie discovers he was gaslit and framed before shit hits the fan, and that he has a clone as a contingency plan... so what does he do~?

welp, couple options there between straight up murder/assassination~, getting people fired or getting them to resign, he basically takes out every single last person who *can* give the order for the clone to destroy him--

so that there's no one left who *can* give the order...

the result?

well, in someone as fucking unstable as the clone, this could cause a self destruct, he would implode/explode/everything inbetween. but ultimately be likely to destroy himself faced with a situation where he can never meet the objective he was made to meet. it's almost cruel, but it's basically a checkmate from homelander where he personally dismantles vought and gets the clone to destroy itself with minimal effort.

oooh~<3 scary and exhilarating<3<3<3

couple paths from there, either homie fucks off to be alone, total supe anarchy chaos without vought and he's around, or he takes full control of what's left of vought and OOOOHHHH~<3 OPTIONS~<3!

butt~ the fact of the matter would definitely fuck billy's (comic) plans to oblivion since... well, the boys could just go to homelander to stop him<3<3<3 if billy is stupid enough to actually try to follow through that is<3 or leave billy in a... peculiar spot.

he'd probably be there expecting a big final fight with homelander, and instead he'd get the clone destroying itself, homie was actually not guilty the whole time, and he doesn't even lift a finger to get the job done that billy had been trying to do for over a fucking decade.

"that's gotta sting..."

it also deals with a moar dangerous~<3 homie that actually uses that big brain and high iq of his<3<3<3

but with the options it does leave, there are certainly windows for... futures<3 lmao, brighter or darker actually.

something like this could make billy totally lose his drive and obsession even if homelander goes full tyrant on vought scraps because not only was he wrong, he didn't even manage to get the revenge he wanted. everything he claimed was for becky/becca (while knowing she would hate it) was pretty much for nothing in the end.

homelander could either make himself a 'villain' for billy just to snap him out of it, or even (while tyranting) implement changes that are good/more strict for vought superheros and come to check on billy.

things could even be unbearably NORMAL and they fall in love like the world's most boring average couple ever since its all over<3<3<3 (love me some vanilla shit and marshmallow billy boo<3 his canon submissiveness for people he loves his adorable<3<3<3)

it works similarly in reverse too, where homie fucks off and tells the world to fuck off since he's lost hope after that bullshit, and billy (begrudgingly) has to finally, FINALLY fucking swallow his pride and convince homie to come help them clean up/chaos is happening/major threats on the horizon they need homie for~<3<3<3

and homie OF COURSE<3 being stubborn<3 as billy tries to make him see reason that the world is worth protecting... maybe inadvertently doing so when they start banging and homelander gets billy boo up the duff~<3<3<3

but going back to assassin~<3 homie. i kinda like the idea of him apprehending and intercepting the supes the boys go after, even doing the jobs more efficiently than they could depending on scenario of course. 'making the boys obsolete' homie is another creative boner of mine and he is gorgeous~<3<3<3

but of course. not the only method. there's also the one who goes after billy~<3

of course, he'd need to get stopped and put on some kind of truce with him for butchlander, but then it can absolutely go back to him making the boys 'obsolete' to get rid of them<3 love me some dangerous predator homie<3<3<3

fact is, the boys has the 'hunted' taking aim at the 'hunter', classic trope, but it makes for some magical cat and mouse games~<3 assassin homie dials up his danger and discretion up to 1100 for sure. and there is A LOT that can be done with that<3<3<3

hate fucking<3<3<3

pretty self explanitory~<3

mostly, i just wanna drop that billy loving hate fucking is canon BOTH ways~<3<3<3 (gotta LOVE maeve taking control and his lazy lover ways~, can only IMAGINE what *show* raynor did to him<3<3<3) as is his submissive sweet bean marshmallow fluffy boi bottom tendencies when he falls in love like literally admits to becky being the first woman on top in the comic HE'S JUST SO FUCKING ADORABLE I--<3<3<3

butt. the boi is also super self destructive by habit for sure. he purposely, consistently, deliberately, bites off WAY fucking moar than he can chew for the explicit purpose of getting his ass handed to him. (literally how he meets becky. is his obvious death wish fucking showing yet)

and with a guy like homie?? he'd definitely *want* it to hurt hella bad and would definitely~ push for fighting turned into fucking... and getting overpowered each time<3

can of course be combined with other ideas~<3

the mud people/supe dilemma and compound V<3<3<3

this is just another canon dropping for both continuities. while not impossible for supes to sleep with humans... it IS portrayed as... *difficult*.

in the comics, it's more specific, but both the show and comic actually give examples of strength disparity being an issue and normal humans getting hurt. mm mentions what happens to the sex workers at herogasm, and that poor writer guy gets his dick snapped off.

the comics take it another step and show us people can and often do use drugs cut with V in order to be able to keep up, so to speak. (the only real thing to mention about v is that it comes in many more different forms in the comic that def could be explored<3)

but going back to the supe/human thing, i would wager that it (obviously) varies for supes for how *difficult* it is to maintain control when with humans. homelander obviously would be the top of that list.

and listen. y'all. i could not be fucking paid to miss an opportunity for the super dick. with great fucking *power* comes great *fucking* power LEMME TELL YA<3<3<3

if i have a chance to write about super dick, i won't miss it BECAUSE~<3

no refractory period~<3

super fucking stamina~<3<3<3

fingers, tongue, and dick can be VIBRATED with superspeed~<3<3<3<3<3<3

this motherfucker is the PERFECT<3 service top.

combined with that diamond shatting flesh destroying clencher atrocity out the back and i--.

ice princess, but worse.

lmao. the superman archetype ALWAYS tops. he just does. he needs to for the sake of his partner. it is a fact of life or you're doin' it wrong cause you have just missed the greatest golden opportunity for one HELL~<3<3<3 of a GOTDAMN GOOD fuckin' time that CANNOT be beat.

legit.

what a terrible tragedy and great disservice to miss out on this, i just... i couldn't. i would literally die. literally.

anywho~<3

"i quit" and early retirement<3<3<3

kinda self explanatory<3 again comes back to comics with them pics but can just deal with billy accusing homie however, whenever. tho the premise once again does come back to he *didn't* do it.

basically, the second the accussation comes out? homie... quits.

for an actual good reason too, or at least an attempt at good. (can just be homie being petty and hurt, works best if his record is spotless otherwise i think but also good if he's being extra extra petulant) but the good reason is him thinking he's lost time and hurt people, and not wanting to hurt anyone else/get to the bottom of things on his own if he doesn't think it was him for whatever reason.

as always lmao, can be tied back to others such as the visceral reactions, or idk, maybe the motherfucker actually has a hobby this time. it goes back to billy having to convince him to help instead<3<3<3

definitely love the world ending option here, maybe yellowstone is about to erupt or something and only homelander can stop it. i have an idea there that i will go into another time just to not add anymore tangents here. same goes for secret identity~<3 since that's more general<3

butt~<3

the other part of this is a homie who quit a long long time ago as soon as the first accusations (from others, not billy) started rolling in and fucked off to live a quiet life. it does tie in back to the clone shenanigans, multiple bad ones or one is fine. but this OG homie is an overpowered beast and--gentle giant<3.

basically, he's calm cause he has his 'girls' (milking animals lmao), a small farm, cabin by a lake, and is living a solitary life in peace as a mountain man (also inspired by starr's obsession with being a mountain man lmao). and maybe he's got hobbies, idk

however... billy, while going after the clone gets badly injured. that's where this mofo steps in. he could handle it then and there or the conflict is saved for later and he just helps billy, but either way, he takes billy back to his cabin and nurses him back to health. existensial crisis ensues~<3

possible fighting with billy demanding he handle the fucking clone if he hasn't and homie just being a... passive neutral bug. do love me the doc manhattan approach<3<3<3

there's something about rebuilding a lost hope superman/super powerful character that just makes me so happy<3

the real homie can also do other things like run a goddamn candy store or somethin, and the secret identity aspect can also def be used, maybe they're neighbors<3

maybe billy's been secretly getting railed by the retired asshole the whole goddamn time~<3<3<3

billy's final evil plan works?? and the "crossed" option<3<3<3

kinda. this one hinges back to comics (obviously, all these prompts are comic inspired lmao) with billy's worst idea ever actually succeeding, sorta, whether he skips to the finish line out of desperation or any of the above reasons or other keep homie alive, he succeeds in changing the landscape of the world.

and it backfires~<3

(tho if ya wanna go real depressing, he could actually succeed and they die in each others arms, do have to throw that one out)

butt anywho~<3 backfiring.

it can either kill all the normal humans, leaving only supes, or change a bunch of humans, kill some, and leave only supes.

it can also cause a legit zombie apocalypse. cause knowing billy... let's just be honest, it would. it absolutely would. and the zombies would function exactly like those in 'crossed' (another work by ennis i am hella interested in but fuck me they are expensive), congrats billy, you fucked the world!

in the 'crossed' crossover (lmao), supes could be immune and billy inadvertently makes homie the last best hope for human survival... and he can be a remarkably shitty one or he can actually be great or gradually learn~<3 but personally, it does seem poetic that billy would inadvertently create billions of what he was allegedly trying to destroy. that is monstrous humans with no humanity.

in a regular dystopia where people just died a lot, classic tropes from a/b/o come into play (arranged mating/population boost/control for butchlander anyone~?) and maybe even homelander being the only one who knows what billy did/tried to do and hiding the now most wanted man on earth (or maybe they do know and billy being an omega is the only thing that saves his life)

as always ideas can be combined goddammit fuck me i am tired this thing took me DAYS and if there is anything i've forgotten or want to add?

i will just make a goddamn part two (do plan for some show inspired ones too~!) or combine it with another set a prompts cause

holy fuck--

[gravitycoil]

Dream of 6/9/23*

(gross, helminthophobia, graphic warning)

Yet another dream where this shit happens but, I was home and it was night time and I'm going thru the fridge trying to find a snack and I see this meat. Ground beef or something. I couldn't tell if it was rotten or not so I asked my mom and she then proceeded to say it's fine and eating it straight up raw just from the fridge? (it was rotten) She then gave me a piece like held it up super fucking close to my face and I practically jump backwards away from it and make sure it didn't touch me at all. I'm like, "I'm not eating that. That's disgusting." and some other shit happened but I don't remember what but eventually Im in the car at nighttime like, idk why but I'm in the back just sitting there and I realize someone is in there with me and I freeze i didn't know what to do but I eventually just speak up and they turn to face me and I startled the shit out of them. We didn't say anything to one another but he got out the car and opened the backseat door next to me and sat next to me and then some other guy got in the driver's seat. I look at the new person and I recognize them even tho idk who it is at all but im like holy shit I know you. Eventually I say something like "You need to take me to the hospital I'm afraid if I have worms" and he starts driving and taking me there and I'm just anxious and paranoid as hell I think we eventually get to the hospital but they wouldn't take me in for some reason like they refused to help me and even kicked us out so we had to sneak in and find out for ourselves. I pick up this paper or something that detailed a bunch of symptoms of different parasites and what they looked like and all these different details and I realize that I had every single one described and had them for a long ass time. I don't remember what they were called but as soon as I realized it, I could feel them. One of them was super rare and the only way to get rid of it was purposely infecting yourself with another parasite so it could eat the rare one. It was all so fucked up I hated all of it. I don't even think I was able to get them out of me like I'm pretty sure the end of this dream was me accepting I could never get rid of them.

Dream shift

Was a hunter and was in a group with like 2 others and we had this rival smoker group who lived up the rafters of the roof while we lived on the ground and every so often one of us would be snatched by one of them but we always helped each other get out. I remember we were very cat-like with our body language and headbutted each other we also loafed a lot. lol. The smokers were getting really annoying like we were all trying to sleep but they kept picking at us and I got really really mad and ended up scaring them back into their corner up the roof. I might've killed some I don't remember. At one point we all try to sleep again and I remember it being something like If you didn't sleep in a certain amount of time you got killed or something lmfao. I remember I couldn't sleep at all but I tried to pretend I was and for some reason a tv turns on and is playing music and for whatever reason everyone started to blame me even tho I did nothing. They kicked me out.

Dream Shift

Was home or something. I was at some house thing and it was night time and I'm showing my friend around I'm like giving him a tour and I sense something bad was about to happen or something and I tell him in a really panicked mannor to start lighting candles and placing them in the corners of the house and he was all confused asking me why and I just yell at him to do it and that there's no time, eventually I try to hide in a bush with him and we suddenly can't move anymore and this woman starts to look around for us we perfectly hide from her and I don't remember who she was or what she wanted but I remember being so relieved that she didn't find us and nothing bad happened.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #145

New tats in your near future? I'm getting my coverup finished the 26th of this month. After that, I'm sure it'll be awhile.

How about piercings or re-piercings? Probably not, but I'd really like to.

Are there any rooms in your house that you don’t go into every day? Yeah, I don't always go into Mom's room and bathroom. I basically never go in the dining room, but it's not really a unique "room."

Who else do you know who has the same favorite color as you do? Idk off the top of my head, but pink is definitely a popular favorite color.

Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to? That's what's going on with the one I mentioned in the first question. I want two more coverups, though. One is just in a bad spot and I want to redesign it and put it elsewhere, but the other is another attached to a person I can't stand anymore.

Have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated? Once upon a time, yes; Jason's first real gf was Rachel, who I had a very hard time with in high school because she got extremely jealous of Juan pursuing me over her (she literally threatened me), and then she had stuff to say about me having a thing for her "leftovers" when Jason and I got together. I have no problem with her now, we're actually friends on Facebook that have talked and interact, she's great; people grow and I'm not going to keep her leashed to shit she did in high school.

Do you have any relatives with red hair? No, not that I know of. My maternal grandmother dyed her hair a mild red for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't naturally that color.

What is tomorrow’s weather forecasted to be like? Weather app is saying between 63-80*F with an 80% chance of thunderstorms.

[TW: SUICIDE] Have you ever known anyone who committed suicide? She was an online friend so could never verify, but I pretty fucking confidently believe she did. I know of other people.

What’s some of the worst pain you’ve ever felt? Having a very infected cyst drained, a hemorrhoid, breaking my wrist, healing from a concussion...

What’s your favorite kind of pasta? Normal spaghetti with marinara sauce, and meatballs are a good addition.

Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there? Go there.

Have you ever had rabies? No. I remember doing an essay on it in high school though, so I learned a lot about it... not that I remember almost any of it, lol.

Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot? Realistically I probably do. My sister Nicole was bitten badly by a dog once, but because he was a domestic pet with vet records I don't remember if she needed one, I don't know the protocol on that.

Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb? I feel like while in Ohio I took the teeniest bite of deer jerky, but I don't totally recall, I know I was extremely reluctant. I'm quite interested in trying lamb though, just with its reputation of being delicious.

What is your favorite parody movie? I don't really have one, I think.

What is your least favorite ice cream flavor? I hate strawberry.

Does your car have heated seats? No.

Have you ever been tempted to steal? I think there was one occasion as a kid, but I didn't do it.

Would you rather travel to Ireland or Japan? Ireland.

Does tickling turn you on? NO

If you could go over to someone’s house right now, whose and why? Girt's, just because I wanna see him and hang out, but we will tomorrow.

What is the age gap between you and your parents? My mom is older by one or two years, I forget which.

How many bathrooms does your house have? Is this enough? Two, and yes.

Have you ever video-chatted with someone you met online? No, I've always hated video chatting with people I do know.

Do you collect anything, or have you ever? I've been collecting meerkat stuff since I was young, and I also have a decent chunk of Silent Hill stuff. I'd love to collect Rammstein stuff too, but that's definitely a pricier sort of collection.

When was the last time you used Facebook? Not long ago, I tend to check it a few times a day.

How many siblings does your best friend have? He has one older sister, also named Ashley like mine.

Have you ever dated someone who was emotionally or mentally unstable? Yes.

Be honest: are you clingy? I know I am, at least to a degree. Girt has told me though that he doesn't feel so, instead appreciating that I give him "him" time whenever he wants it (we're the kind of couple that can just straight-up tell each other no to hanging out that day just because we need private time and no one's offended at all), but I still know in my core that I'm a clingy person.

Have you ever had bronchitis? No, but I watched Jason suffer with it and I have NEVER heard coughs like those ever before or since, it was awful.

Have you ever had a reptile for a pet? I've had two lizards and three snakes.

Are you afraid of the dentist? VERY FUCKING MUCH, something that only became a thing in recent times because of neglecting my teeth for so long and now I'm paying for it. Now that PT is over, I want to get my wisdom teeth extraction scheduled (the one on my right has a cavity close to the nerve, so it needs out ASAP), but I am so, so scared, because we can't afford the cost to put me under anesthesia. I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna do it.

Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Only because I was forced to.

Who was the last person you cuddled with? Girt.

How would you feel if your significant other (or possible partner) told you they dislike having sex, but do so with you to make you happy, even though they personally think it’s a chore? I have no idea how I would react to this, honestly.

Your boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t around but their phone is. Do you look through it? No, that would indicate some core problems in our relationship. I trust him.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? I'm pretty confident I will be, Girt and I are doing great.

Have you ever liked anyone that was in a relationship with someone else? Yeah. That was the case with my first real crush, and then with Jason after we split and he started dating someone else.

Do people ever compliment your eyes? Sometimes, mostly on pictures.

Have any of your exes ever given you roses? Jason and Tyler.

Do you think your last ex ever thinks about you? Not in a positive way.

Would you rather have salad or french fries for a side dish? Fries.

Which one of your relationships was the shortest? Juan, we dated for less than 24 hours lol, so he barely even counts.

Which was the longest? Jason, three and a half years.

Have any of your exes told you they regret breaking up with you? No.

Would you feel hurt if your last ex is in a relationship? Not at all.

Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? Very unlikely.

Do you like BBQ sauce? No, I actually hate it a lot.

What do you like to do when you’re home alone? I don't do much differently, honestly. I'll sometimes unplug my earplugs and listen to whatever without them, but that's it.

Should the guy always pay for the date? Absolutely not, I'm personally in favor of whoever planned it paying, but I also think taking turns is fair.

What kind of music calms you down? Generally my favorite songs, because they have fuller attention from me so I'm better distracted, and I also often resort to the Shadow of the Colossus or Silent Hill games soundtracks for this.

Do you know anyone who has autism? My niece does, a friend's daughter does, I'm sure a couple more, and I'm fucking FINALLY being evaluated for it myself soon.

What is your favorite way to eat eggs? I'll only eat them scrambled and very preferably with cheese, or as lil bits in fried rice.

Do you like Frozen? I've genuinely never gotten the appeal of it. The icy scenery and magic effects are cool, but that's the end of it for me.

Who is one of your heroes? My mom.

Do you enjoy hot chocolate? I do, but not when it's made with water, it's gotta be milk.

Do you use Instagram often? I browse it daily, but I don't post a lot.

If you got a kitten, what would you name it? It would depend on their gender and appearance.

Do you have a Pinterest account? Yes, it's full of photography inspo, hairdos and colors, tattoo inspo, and primarily Rammstein pictures now, lol.

Do you prefer a quiet or noisy environment? Quiet, excessive noise really stresses me out.

What is one question you don’t like being asked? What my job situation is.

Who is someone you know who is talkative? My nephew, haha. He goes a thousand miles an hour from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep.

When was the last time you saw one of your uncles? When my grandma was on her very last leg and my Uncle Rob was driving her from Florida to New York; they stopped at a hotel for us to meet up. Now this uncle is the scum of the fucking earth that my family - even his own siblings - don't associate with anymore. His ass is going to end up in jail.

Do you know anyone who plays the violin? No, but that'd be dope.

Do your parents enjoy any of the things that you enjoy? Do you bond over these things? Both my parents (especially my mom) love metal and rock music, and my mother also enjoys writing, even though she doesn't do it a lot, though I wish she would! She wrote a poem semi-recently that she got me to look at and critique and it made me SO happy to see her creating, because she really does enjoy that, especially as crafts and crocheting. My dad likes video games, as do I.

Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? Ozzkat, which I use for a lot of places.

Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? OH, FOR SURE. This is NOT a rare occurrence.

If someone told you that we live in a society that hates women, how would you respond? I would wholeheartedly agree with you. I know a lot of it is done while completely unaware, like plenty don't think they hate women, but their actions speak otherwise, and I'm trusting actions as the true show of morals and values.

Can you remember the last thing you thought and subsequently thought, “wow, I really shouldn’t be thinking that”? I can't remember the last, but it absolutely happens seeing as I often have intrusive thoughts.

[alright-gay-two]

Which isn't even really an exaggeration. Last year I booked an emergency visit with an obgyn because it felt like something was stuck when I was trying to piss and i was pissing blood and very concerned about a prolapse because that happens sometimes when they yank your uterus out! And she did an exam and said everything looks normal!! And im like ok why am I bleeding then and what am I feeling that's stuck??? And she's like idk maybe uti? Seems fine tho lol bye! And then I called later that day like hey did I get antibiotics for a uti at least?? And they're like um. No we don't just give out antibiotics. You have to wait for the doctor to call them in. Idiot. And it was a Friday. Anyway a day later I was admitted to the hospital because my turbo uti became a kidney infection and this fucking obgyn called 2 days into my hospital stay and was like heyyyyyy so you have a really really really REALLY bad uti I called in antibiotics!!! And i had to be like Bitch???? Two days later????? I'm in the fucking hospital on an iv with antibiotics because you literally ignored me and said I was fine even though I was BLEEDING!!! I GAVE YOU A BLOODY URINE SAMPLE and you said lol seems fine bye :) anyway the stuck feeling was BLOOD CLOTS in my URETHRA and I only figured it out once they started breaking up while I was pissing them out!!!!! I literally go to the doctor a step away from dying and they say haha noooooo you're fine stop being dramatic 🙄

I think I'd be less freaked out about the possibility of cancer if my body was following the established rules of my fucking autoimmune issues. I know what my normal chronic issues feel like and this ain't it and it came on so suddenly last year and is getting worse and every symptom is like yeah that could be inflammation from auto immune! Or it could be cancer ;-) meanwhile I'm running around to every fucking doctor in this godforsaken city and they're all like you're normal nothing wrong here 100% in perfect health! And it's like. I think if I came in on fire you would shrug and say idk why you're feeling hot. It's weird. But you're fine anyway that'll be 100 dollars.

[sunflowervol69]

.

[temunitu]

please share your thoughts on the movie after you've seen it!

head empty, no thoughts, just vibes (i. did see it. there were many tears involved in the making of this review)

my main thought is just WOW, they did such a good job????

[obviously - spoilers below!!]

ok so first off... SWEARS AND BLOOD IN THE FIRST FOUR MINUTES??? i think i'm in love with this movie. we need more gruesome tmnt content and this movie delivered. first with the blood, then with "badass," then with all the Kraang body horror. we need more PG-13/TV-14 rated content. also Let Mikey Say Fuck

MYSTIC FUTURE MIKEY IS SO EPIC?? HELL YEA if i could float i'd float everywhere too. but HOW DARE THEY KILL HIM OFF I DIDN'T WANNA SOB THIS MUCH SO EARLY IN THE MOVIE NOW MY VISION IS BLURRED

also the future is so goddamn scary. like, shit. the lighting and soundtrack wove a gorgeous terrifying narrative. thank you rise i won't sleep for a week

investigative journalist april???? it's so good it hurts, i love how Rise is such a love letter to the franchise. they manage to meld a bunch of previous concepts into this glorious story

leo is such a little shit. thank you ben schwartz for some top tier voice acting. i was SO MAD at leo when they lost the key. i'm a sucker for trauma induced character development and leo got it. oh, did he get it.

RAPH??? TAKING??????? A FUCKIN TENTACLE(?) TO THE SHOULDER???? TO SAVE??????????? LEO????????????? I THOUGHT HE DIED I THOUGHT HE WAS A GONER

CASEY CALLING LEO OUT WAS SO GOOD. it was what leo needed to hear. also please get this kid some therapy?

i love how April got to use the herbicide stuff on the Kraang but i was honestly expecting it to be part of the master plan(?), still cool

THE GODDAMN. TECHNODROME. IS TECHNO-ORGANIC JUST LIKE IN 2003. I WAS WATCHING IT WITH AWE THE WHOLE TIME LIKE HOLY SHIT. THAT IS ONE BADASS SPACESHIP

also the Kraang and the infected monster designs were GOD tier. love me some freaky alien cheese cubes and their horrifyingly fleshy minions. and their exosuits??? hell yea

ok uh

when leo. went through the portal. and it CLOSED? i thought that was it. i don't know why, i was like "welp. there's gonna be an awful lot of fanfics where leo's trapped in the Kraang realm fighting for his life as he tries to find a way home." the narrative was so convincing (or maybe i'm just gullible lol) but i was sobbing so hard

BISHOP CAMEO BISHOP CAMEO HELL YEA

-

so, praising aside! i did have a few thoughts that are mostly directed toward nickelodeon/viacom for cutting the show short and only allowing 1.5 hours for the movie

the storyboards for casey saying goodbye really got me - like i wish the time constraints weren’t a thing cuz it was such a bittersweet conversation (both casey and leo, and leo and raph). it’s canon in my book (if you haven’t seen it, here) 

also, as i mentioned before. i thought the herbicide was gonna play a bigger role in the end battle(?). maybe it’s the way it was framed, maybe it’s just my brain. idk 

i am. a raph and a mikey stan, especially in rise. they were both amazing in the movie and i know it was supposed to be about leo, but they felt like they took such a backseat. raph was being controlled for majority and mikey was playing hype man/sidekick mostly. where is my feral gremlin son??? hello?? i did enjoy when mikey opened the portal (both times) and when he chucked a skyscraper at the Kraang lol

the pacing was SO FAST. kinda like the finale - i know the writers did the best with what they had and i'm in awe of how well it still turned out. but like,,, nick/viacom sucks so bad for the limits they gave the writers.

[niuttuc]

About my Planeswalker-sona !

I have two actually, who are like twins and were both born on Eldraine (the set where I first began to play!). They were raised as knights at first but then they ignited their spark (idk how yet) and had a lot of experiences that made them change a lot.

One is a mardu-artifact wielding gruff sellsword man. He is trying to form an inter-planar mercenary force that could be hired to diverse ends, even tho it would most likely be violence. He isn't the most morally straight person, and isn't afraid to perform such violence in exchange for whatever currency or favor he can muster, but he can't help be a little white aligned and won't stoop to really evil deeds if he can help it or if he notices it. He won't call it "honor" but more like, preserving his reputation in avoiding to harm defenseless people and the like. He is short tempered, a bit ill mannered, and doesn't care about politeness most of the time but *will* respect a good warrior or other people in his line of work. He would be hard pressed to *truly hate* someone but can hold grudges for a good while. His powers are to store copies of artifacts (mostly equipments) he has seen in a remote access bag-of-holding-like demi-plane and bring them out whenever he wants like a powered down Gate of Babylon thing from Fate. His prefered style of battle is wielding a colossus hammer and a brass knuckle and going wild on his ennemies!

The other is his evil-twin, idk if they were born from the same mother or not but they look a lot like each other. Basically personnality wise he's a little evil gremlin that enjoys being chaotic and fucking with people. He's a bit like Ashiok in that regard, but while seeming a bit less "aloof" I'd say? He's still mostly doing stuff for his own enjoyment tho. He is simic aligned, and his thing is to be able to dominate weak animals and constructs, a bit like Lukka, but without a "two ways" link of the sort, because he can only impose his will upon really weak beings. But then, his greatest joy is to pump them up to great heights with green spells to surprise people and bring chaos to wherever he is, which annoys his brother a lot. People mistake them a lot and since this one is very elusive they tend to find the mardu one and bring their grievances to him even tho he hasn't done anything. For some reason, he seems to be able to dominate weak infected monsters without spreading the oil or getting infected himself (to his knowledge at least), which is his lattest "fun discovery": indeed, killing with poison is way easier than with damage... He's taking advantage of the current situation to keep an infected myr with him at the moment, but how long will that last?...

That's it ! They don't have names yet because I'm very bad at naming and I don't want to feel like, cringe lol. But I love that in the lore we're supposed to *be* planeswalkers when we duel ! So they are both the pilots of my two favorite decks : a Syr Gwyn equip/knights commander deck, and a pauper simic infect deck.

I want to keep evolving them as I keep evolving as a player too. Maybe I will give them names, new adventures, write more... or at some point retire them, if I change a lot? In any case, I like them a lot!

Interesting, not quite as mirrored as the beginning got me to assume, but still two folks that are quite different. You say they were "raised as knights", what's that to mean? Where they already adult knights on Eldraine before sparking or just educated in view of them becoming knights? Was this their parents' expectations or their own? What castle's knighthood did they have/were they aiming after?

[way2gowillow]

It's my birthday today :)

I'm finally 16 sweet 16 y'know I guess some huge life changes will happen soon people say once you turn 16 it's like your life just changes around. It's kinda crazy I'm not to sure what's gonna happen to me now that I'm "so mature" I still feel very childlike, my grandfather took me to build a bear yesterday and I still play with stuffed animals. But that's okay. I also think you'll be happy that I'm here with good news, I'm feeling really good. O feel happy and like fucking alive and things in my life are going pretty great. I, in all honesty, I haven't felt this just... Okay... Is so fucking long, it's like things are making sense now. Things are okay. It's weird I've been getting better this year, I mean I've definitely has my setbacks, but I haven't self harmed since last December, and I passed all my classes, that algebra class I passed with a 68% (64% is fail) my dad's disappointed in me but the teacher was shit and I tried my best so it's whatever honestly, being more carefree has been so much better. I got straight A's in all my other classes! So my GPA's like 3.1? Or smth idk I'm trying. But schools over. Summer is my good months, I hate the hot weather but having a few months without school is amazing, being able to stay away from bullies is incredible that's really the only thing that's so I'll been bothering me nowadays plus, over summer everyone forgets everything so hopefully theirs nothing else to bully me about next year. Maybe this summer I'll have like a glow up or smth? Probably not lol. Though, I have been going to the gym, but I'm not looking to change my body I have enough issues with that as it is. Anyways, it feels so much better to just be okay. My birthday was great and I'm feeling good. We actually celebrated last week because of the court date with my mom so my whole family could be together I got some new Markers, and A PlayStation (🫣in excited) and some new shoes it's been a really great day. I'm really excited we celebrate last week haha because (I'm sure you guessed it) I'm sick again! I'm telling you I never stop being sick it's constant, I have a sinus infection (A FUCKING GAIN) AND STREP so I'm spending my birthday eating my favorite foods (like ice cream, nice on my sore throat) and finishing up these antibiotics, I'm pretty sure the last time I wrote here I was sick then too?? I think? It might have been stomach related I honestly can't fucking remember I'm sick all the time.(along with Juvenile Arthritis, which APPERNLY I HAVE, just another thing to add to the list 🙄) But I don't really mind. I have TV to watch and I'm doing OK.

I know things like this dont last forever but im happy right now and honestly I think I'm okay with just staying for a while how stuff is. Ill have up and downs and my (phisical) health isn't too awesome but I'm doing the best I can to help it

As always you please please take care of YOURSELF. Make sure your drinking, eating, taking your medicine, giving yourself time to breathe. I appreciate you 🤗

-rosy

AWWW! Omg, happy birthday! I'm so so happy to hear that you are doing a little better right now, especially on your birthday. I hope you got all the ice cream you wanted. And that's very sweet that you went to build-a-bear. I've been meaning to go for a while myself once I have the spending money to splurge. I kinda want a K.K slider bear...(dog? Idk about the technicalities with that lol). And it's totally not a bad thing to still be fond of cute stuff like that. What matters is that you like it! And nobody else should have any issue with something as wholesome as being yourself.

I used to really enjoy Summer because of the nice break from school too. And I didn't have many friends, but the few I did have were very fun to be around. I hope you have someone like that in your life. Please enjoy the break, whether you spend it with others or at your own time. I know that algebra class you mentioned was stressing you out hardcore. You passed and you tried your absolute damn best. That's all that matters. (I'm proud of you.)

It sucks you're feeling sick, but I hope that also gets better with time. Coincidentally, I also had Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (I was diagnosed at 15) and the biggest tip I can give you is to become aware of and come to terms with your own limits. I had not taken good care of myself when I turned 18 and my RA kinda spiraled out of control, which caused me to develop lupus very soon after. So, you know, take it kind of seriously and be kind to your body. You mentioned you're going to the gym, which is great! Staying active is super good for preventing joint pain. But also don't forget to take breaks. The good news is that these sort of chronic illnesses can go into remission under the right care. <3

It's always nice hearing how you're doing. Happy Birthday again. I'm glad it went well. :D

[hardestgrove]

I just realized that the only one that tried to save Billy was Billy himself. And El to some extent at the very end. So like. Another instance of him to having to rely on himself alone. The world failed Billy Hargrove, he was never granted a chance to get out and a fair fight and the D Brothers can go and eat a cactus for perpetuating the idea that abuse victims can only be saved by death. So much for a found family show jfc I'm getting angry sorry.

oh bruh..... homie............ now I'M JUST REALIZING IT TOO

like I already knew everyone wasn't doing shit to help him in s3 (or s2 but s3 he's possessed and uh, HARDCORE NEEDS OUTSIDE ASSISTANCE lol) but that shit hits different paired with the "I just realized that the only one that tried to save Billy was Billy himself" line. like jfc. I just got done getting emotional about hopper's prison arc and now you do THIS to me????

I maintain my bullshit about how the MF had adapted after they successfully purged it out of Will and physically altered its hosts now so removing it would mean physical death. We never see those black veins on Will to the same intensely like we see on Billy. Plus the infection happens differently. So imo there's no like, de-MFing him and saving him the same way they did with Will but it doesn't matter???? Because like, no one was really putting in any effort to try and figure out a plan to de-MF the flayed.

Like i don't like to shit on Nancy but also I kinda hate her a lil bit? it's not her fault it's the writers they just find ways of making me annoyed with her. like she's the best shot? but she's gonna try and headshot a dude who she went to school with thru his windshield in front of his sister? and not just like? shoot out his tires so he can't you know?????? ram them?????? it's stupid bad writing and i don't like.

having rewatched the season i can give the group some slack in that they really were like... 1 step ahead at best for most of that season. the genuinely didn't have the time to figure out how to save literally any of the flayed. But i also woulda liked to have seen more consideration for the fact they're like you know, PEOPLE THEY KNOW??????

Billy deserved better. even with my bullshit about how the flayed worked there's ways to cheat and keep him alive. he deserved to have more people give a shit about him and try to help him. he deserved a life.

IMO, i don't like found family stories. i don't like vibes and internet culture around them. i don't see the appeal and honestly when i see people going on and on about them i look at the group in question and i'm like "this is nothing". like buffy is the found family show and that friend group is so fucking toxic it's scary. but we don't get into that in the show for the most part because "oh my gosh! the scoobies!! they're a family!!" like buffy crawls out of her own grave after being ripped out of heaven bc willow didn't wanna grapple with grief and they expect her to pay the bills lol.

irl found families are different ofc but when i see that mentioned in relation to fiction i'm just like....... "well now you've ruined it". it's like saying you like sherlock holmes but then showing me bbc sherlock.

idk what the fuck i'm even saying at this point but i agree fuck the duffs let's feed them cacti for eternity.

[fart-gate]

SGA

Season 5 Episode 6

Notes by me

- ive heard this episode is Rodney centric with lots of cough whump cough. So that should be fun for me hehehehehehe HERE WE GO LADS

- well it just gets right into it doesnt it huh

- hes acting like he has some sort of brain damage ?? Maybe bad head injury I'm guessing

- hes calling for john 😫💟

- what happened someone tell me

- infected????

- hes DYING ! Of what!!!! Somebody say what it is!!!!

- while the theme plays i want to acknowledge davids exquisite acting skillz 👌👌👌👌🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

- a few hrs earlier.....or days.....idk they didnt say lol

- woolseys bored when they arent there haha

- theyre trapped on TOP OF THE GATE THIS IS GOOD SHIT

- shivering 😌

- wet team atlantis is aahhh

- he had a fever immediately? Suspicious

- this shot of them on the gate in the middle of the lake with no lights but the wormhole POETIC CINEMA

- ronon carrying Rodney 💖💗💖

- wait hes back to normal? I dont trust it

- "our boy" AAWW

- back to the present! This is sad I'm sad

- again davids acting is just 🔥🔥🔥

- "Meredith?" 😭😭💟

- "I'm sick" you know when boromir keeps getting shot with arrows and when you think its over he gets shot with another one. This is what watching this episode feels like. I'm boromir

- ronon hugs are the best. I mean who doesnt want to hug Jason mamoa? Hes like hugging a bear that can tear your head off but youre 84% sure he wont

- ronon WHAT theres a place where he can be himself again?? Oh its dangerous yeah that tracks with ronons previous ideas

- WOA Rodney looks handsome in this video log

- something he wanted to say to keller. His feelings about her maybe??? 5 bucks!

- "second childhood" ronon has dealt with it before thats cool

- awwww the fruit cup

- ronon wants to save him so bad 😭😭😭💗💗💗💗💗💗

- "you learned to hunt when you were 6?" I'm laughing,woolsey, have you MET HIM. NO ONE ELSE IS SURPRISED LMFAO

- ronon #1 Rodney Protector

- woolseys story about his dad with alzheimers . I get it. my grandma has that.

- "I'll take him myself"

- SHUT UP !!! PROTECTIVE RONON LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE!!!! I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER SOUND ON THIS EARTH UNLESS IT IS THIS DIALOGUE ON REPEAT

- lOVE how ronon doesnt do anything when keller says rodneys not leaving without her permission. The respect this man has for everyone

- "ronon dex"

"Thats right buddy"

DECEASED 💀 bye world it was nice knowing ya. Tattoo this dialogue on the back of my eyelids

- "hey john!" I CANT TAKE THIS

- come on keller! I get not wanting him to be in danger but I mean...if theres even a chance.....

- jeannie pulls thru 💪 off to wraith territory! I just realised thats probably not a good thing

- he recites pie in one of his videos

- Woolsey wants Rodney to know he said goodbye??? Unrealistic. Blocked

- sending a malp is a good idea. They should keep doing that

- "john!"

- oh NO hes so scared. David should really have an award for this episode

- john being so sweet 💖💖💖

- "I drink beer?" "Alot!" Lmao

- im sorry but Rodney immediately going to johns courters when he couldnt find anyone.....its true love

- "how about we say goodbye now?"

"NO"

Damn ok lol

- "pretty soon I wont remember who you are!"

"Then I'll remind you!"

I mean I have nothing to say to this

- bossy!John when hes emotional

- "youre a good friend arthur" THAT LAUGH HAD TO BE REAL. WAS THAT IMPROV. IT LOOKED LIKE IMPROV. johns laugh makes ME laugh . CUTE

- im in love with how theyre all taking turns in taking care of Rodney like making sure hes walking okay and stuff. Its amazing how much everyone loves him even though he was quite a dick in the beginning and no one liked him. I just love how much hes grown and how close they all got to each other. Thats the shit I love. Warms my heart.

- "john!"

- "jeannie?" HES BACK

- in his video log he said he keeps seeing his mom? Thats...really sad actually

- "I DIE?!?!?" oh god hes panicking again

- wow keller was right about his reaction I guess

- is this gonna be The Only Person That Can Save Him Is Him

- "save me some ham" lol

- WOW WHAT A SCREAM

- it retracted from the radiation? So its smaller.... Do the surgery!

- YES IM RIGHT !!! GO KELLER!!

- weak Rodney is good stuff

- "youve thrown an awful lot at me in very little time"

"Thats life"

OK RONON. BLUNT AS FUCK

- his goodbye video

- john helping with the surgery even tho he clearly isnt trained for this. Lord let nothing go wrong pls

- EW this is gross

- its coming out by itself??

- "you could have stepped on it"

"She told me to shoot it"

Ronon will take any opportunity to shoot things

- thats all they had to do!!!! Can you imagine.....now they can let the word out and tell everyone around the galaxy to do this when one of their elders gets the parasite! Just go to a cave and do unsanitized surgery

- "thank you" fuck my life

- "I love you. Ive loved you for some time now" THERE IT IS. what a reveal. She's crying! Oh i cant take this. I'm glad that they realise feelings after so long of knowing eachother instead of right after they met. We got to see their relationship grow!! Also someone owes me 5 bucks

- does she love him back???? DOES SHE

I NEED ANSWERS

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤