#and i've been having sooo many doubts

[galaxywhump]

Throwing my various wips at my brain but nothing sticks

[hirukochan]

Can I please request a snape smut fic? The reader and him have been friends since school and she is in love with him only he does not know it or realize his feelings till Sirius is flirting with her and it leads to a fight between them leading to them confessing to their feelings. Maybe some dirty talk biting and rough smut

Sooo...I got a bit carried away with this...definetly not the roughest smut I've written, but I hope you like it anyway.

Severus and his sunshine

Pairing: Severus Snape x fem!reader

warnings: Smut, loss of virginity

Wordcount: 7402 (oops...)

Read on Ao3 or below the cut:

“To the youngest Professor in the history of Hogwarts!” You cheer and raise your glass clumsily into the air, spilling half your drink down your arm. “Oops-” You giggle. 

It’s not the first drink of the evening and not the first time you toast to Severus’ new job - and certainly not the last. It bears repeating after all because how fucking awesome is this? You have always known that Severus is the most intelligent and brilliant and ingenious person you’d ever meet! It’s unfair - no, a bloody shame! - how many people never realised it just because Severus’ is a bit awkward and rude and- alright he’s a downright cunt sometimes but he has every bloody right to be with the road his life has taken so far! With a father like that and that awful Potter and his stupid goons!

“We need to cut you off.” He drawls, the corner of his lips curling, and tries to snatch your glass from you. You jump off the chair you're standing on and cradle your drink protectively to your chest, firewhiskey dripping down your arm.

“Try and I’ll bite your finger off!”

“You’re drunk.”

“No, I’m not.” Severus shakes his head but doesn’t try to get your drink again, instead focusing on his own (the second of the evening - what a bore). The pub is crowded and loud, nobody pays any attention to the two of you sitting at a table in the corner.

You plop back down on your chair and take a sip of your drink. 

Severus’ eyes have gone distant again. That happens a lot lately. Like something is on his mind that he lacks the words to tell you. Social interactions aren’t his strong suit. You’re the ‘Severus-translator’ Lily used to joke when you three were still friends because you always knew what Severus wanted to say but couldn’t. You always made sure he was included in conversations, told others to shut up so he could speak or smooth over his rough edges whenever someone didn’t get Severus’ dry and dark sense of humour. 

One look at him from across the Great Hall during breakfast and you knew whether he was in a good or bad mood. You knew when he had a nightmare the night before and needed a gentler touch or when to bluntly tell him he’s being a cunt.

This you can’t seem to figure out. 

He smiles less these days. Even less than usual. The four years since you finished school have been hard, especially for him, especially with the war. 

Emotions are not Severus’ thing.

His long black hair falls into his face, hiding his grave expression from the world and you. His face has lost its boyish features. His jaw is more prominent, complementing his high cheekbones. His hooked nose suits him. It’s something about the proportions or symmetry of his face - you can’t quite put your finger on it. Most people seem to be put off by his appearance, but to you he has always held something uniquely beautiful.

He taps his finger against his glass repeatedly. His fingernails are still painted black…You made him let you paint them last time he was at your flat. It suits him.

You place your hand over his, stopping his fidgeting. You wish you’d know what’s going on in his head, clearly whatever it is puts him on edge, but you trust he’ll talk to you when he is ready. 

“You’ll be great.” You say. “I have no doubt. You’re a bloody genius, Severus! These kids are so lucky. They can learn so much from you!”

“I am certain they will share your attitude.” He says sardonically and you snort. Severus downs his drink and takes your empty glass to get another round (and probably a glass of water for you because he’s such a mum sometimes). You smirk as you watch him make his way through the crowd. 

He sticks out like a sore thumb in these new robes he got, but you think they too suit him. It’s probably the first time he isn’t wearing hand-me-downs. He’s wearing all black of course. The most colour you ever saw him wear was at Hogwarts in the form of his emerald green school tie. 

Severus looks intimidating. It makes him look older, stronger somehow. It’s such a stark difference to the beat up jeans, the The Cure bandshirt you gifted him one Christmas and the shabby leather jacket.

But not in a bad way.

He looks good. 

Maybe it’s the fact he has grown taller since graduation. He’s a head taller than he used to be and shed his bend over posture. Escaping both Hogwarts and his recently deceased father agrees with him. That and your continued effort of forcing him to eat three whole meals a day, every day.

His wide shoulders and dark hair disappear behind people and you rip your eyes from the spot you last saw him.

So much has changed in the last four years but that little flutter in your heart whenever you look at him has not changed. When it first started in your fourth year you didn’t even realise what it was about. You’d start stammering around him, earning you silent glares and raised eyebrows from Severus at which you’d blush. After an embarrassingly long time you finally accepted that you had developed a crush on your best friend. 

You’re too terrified of losing him as a friend to ever tell him though.

Severus isn’t good with feelings. They are too complicated. Too messy. He doesn’t need messy. His life is messy enough and so you swore to yourself to never tell him.

Your friendship was already a miracle. You are his polar opposite. You are outgoing and friendly, polite - too polite sometimes - bubbly and optimistic. Severus is - well Severus. He is grumpy and quiet and rude.

You decided to befriend him in your first year. You saw him during the sorting and something about him pulled you in. You really wanted to get to know him and when you heard him talk during your first potions class you made the decision to gain his friendship however long it would take.

You started by sitting at the table next to his in the library. You’d sit there everyday, quietly doing your homework and when he stopped shooting you irritated looks when he thought you weren’t looking, you moved to sitting at his table. You simply smiled at the befuddled Severus and did your work. 

You approached befriending Severus like one might approach gaining the trust of a wild animal. Over the year a truce-kind-of study group had formed between you.

Towards the end of term he asked for your help collecting some things from the forbidden forest - Lily would never break school rules, but you are certain Severus didn’t actually need help, he just didn’t know how to tell you he wanted to spend time with you.

During the summer you send him letters, even after not receiving any back from him and when you saw him by himself in the Hogwarts Express in September you sat down next to him and you’ve been friends since.

You know a romance is even less likely than your friendship was.

“Merlin! I almost didn’t fucking recognise you!” A familiar voice says and you throw up a little in your mouth.

“Black.” You say monotonous. As if he owns the place Black sits down opposite of you on Severus’ currently empty chair.

“You’re hot! How come we never snogged in school?”

“Because whenever I am forced to face the fact that you exist I want to smash my head against a wall.” You say with a honey-sweet tone of voice at which Black’s grin only grows. He doesn’t get the hint. 

“How come you’re drinking alone, gorgeous?” Black continues undeterred, a poised and arrogant grin on his lips.

“I’m not.” His grin wavers ever so slightly but Sirius Black has always believed himself so utterly irresistible that such small details don’t matter to him.

“I don’t see anyone.” He is wearing muggle clothes, trying just a tad too hard to look like a rockstar, but he talks and holds himself like a pureblood still. He might have run away from home but he is still living off of his family’s wealth and he hasn’t changed one bit since school.

Black is (as usual) utterly unaware that he isn’t welcome. Black’s eyes roam over your face and down to your chest like he is appraising you, determining how much effort you are worth putting into seducing you. 

“I think it’s fate we meet like this! You look-” He licks his lips and a shiver of disgust rushes over your arms. “So different. Bet you cut loose that tosser Snivellus. He was clearly dragging you under. A frown on such a pretty face should be considered a fucking crime.” You clench your fists under the table. You have your wand in your boot. It would be so easy to hex him-

“Someone as stunning as you- Oi! I was about to head to this club in Dublin that recently opened to meet Moony and Wormtail - You should join me!” He winks.

“As I said - I am here with someone.”

“But you could be with me!” He laughs as if he just made a joke but you know he is dead serious. He thinks you’d gladly ditched whomever you are here with for the chance of spending time with him. “Bring her too - the more the merrier.” There is a not so subtle suggestive tone to his words and he wiggles his eyebrows. “Come on gorgeous! Someone as sexy as you should not be so uptight! Let’s have some fun, let loose a little - it’ll be worthwhile to you, I swear.”

“What a compelling offer.” Sneers Severus and your heart drops. Great. “I wonder how many you made that promise to, Black, and how many you left disappointed.” Black’s grin falters for a split second.

That’s right.

Severus is different.

He stands taller. He’s fierce and strong and you aren’t at Hogwarts anymore where it’s four against one with the teachers turning a blind eye. You have no doubt Severus would pull out his nastiest curses on Black given the chance.

“Let’s leave, Sev.” 

“Come on, gorgeous!”

“That’s not her name, but one can hardly expect a simpleton like you to care for such fine details as names.”

“Sev.”

“No wonder she looked like somebody was fucking murdered in front of her eyes when I found her - how Lily could bear being close to you for so long I’ll never understand.” Black turns towards you. “Kick this dick to the curb - I’ll buy you a drink, gorgeous.”

“She does not need you for that-”

“I can buy my own drinks.” You hiss and when Severus still makes no move towards leaving, you grab your jacket and storm off. Let them duel like little children if they want, but you won’t get in the middle of that. 

The cold hair of the night hits you while you run down the street. Tears sting in your eyes and you feel so stupid and pathetic for crying. Nothing even happened. You don’t know what’s going on- that’s a lie. Severus sounded like he was about to suggest you’re with him and therefore don’t need Black to buy you drinks which…it’s not wrong. You were at the pub with Severus and you were going to make him pay (he’s a Professor now after all and from what Sev let on the pay isn’t bad) but it wasn’t a date. And Severus suggesting or intending to suggest that hurts. You want it to be a date goddamn! You’ve wanted it for over eight years!

Severus calls your name but you just wrap your arms tighter around yourself and continue down the empty street on the outskirts of London.

“Just wait!” He catches up to you. “What a fucking wanker.” He huffs.

“Mh.”

“What did he say to you? I should have hexed him! I knew it!”

“Drop it.”

“No, I will not drop it! He made you cry- come on tell me what he said and I’ll-”

“What?!” Abruptly you stop walking and spin around to face Severus. He looks at you perplexed, his cloak billowing behind him in the breeze. “You’ll go and start a duel? Why? I told you to drop it.”

“He’s a fucking cavemen! Just the way he looked at you-” Severus grimaces. A muscle in his jaw tenses and he flexes his wand hand.

“Why the fuck do you suddenly feel the need to defend my honour?! You just ignored me in there- nevermind. I’m tired. I want to go home.”

“Don’t let Black ruin our night-”

“You ruined our night! I asked you to leave, you ignored me. I ask you to drop it, you ignore me. I don’t want you to fight Black! We aren’t at school anymore - you’ll get arrested!” Something you have never before seen crosses through Severus’ eyes. Something dark. A cold shiver runs down your spine and you take an involuntary step back.

“I wouldn’t be arrested, Sunshine.” He says, voice low, rumbling like thunder, a muttered promise of destruction and ruin and heat pools in your belly. That he called you by his nickname for you which he uses very sparingly, if ever, doesn’t help the matter. Severus takes a step forward. The heat morphs into a twisting, curling mass that takes your breath away. Severus looms over you, shadows dancing over his pale skin, drawing his cheekbones into an even sharper contrast and you gulp.

“You think Luci is going to come and rescue you?”

“Lucius? I don’t need Lucius for that.”

“Do you even fucking hear yourself?!” Your voice echoes through the empty streets, thrown back off the house.

“He made you cry!”

“Why does it matter?!”

“Because-” He clenches his jaw, his fists shake with suppressed rage. His nostrils flare and for a split second a tingling sensation winds around your heart at the expression in his eyes - the softness in the middle of a raging storm. A lone, untouched, unbothered island in the midst of a roaring ocean. 

Severus exhales. Tension falls off his frame and the expression is gone.

“Fine.” He says quietly. “Let’s go then.” And he walks past you.

“No.” You can hear his steps stop behind you. Tears drip over your cheeks and you stubbornly wipe them away. “Say what you wanted to say.”

“I thought you’re tired.”

“Say it.”

“It’s- it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m not moving until you say it.” You cross your arms in front of your chest. Behind you Severus sighs and you can practically hear him pinch the bridge of his nose like he does whenever you annoy him.

“You sound like a spoiled child.”

“Good practice then. You’ll have to deal with a lot of those, Professor.”

“Are you- I have the feeling you’re angry with me.” You spin around and glare at Severus. He’s not good with emotions, sure - but now he’s just being dense.

“What made you think that?” You deadpan. He rolls his eyes and his disregard for your feelings drives you mad. 

“Black’s a bastard-”

“This is Warren all over again!”

“Yeah and I was fucking right about Warren wasn’t I?” A vein on his forehead pulses, but you don’t give a shit. Warren was your first boyfriend and Severus behaved absolutely rotten towards you.

“Warren was a huge mistake, yes - but he was my mistake to make! What- do you actually fucking think I would ever fucking touch Black? Just the thought gives me an STD!” The barest flicker of amusement flashes over Severus’ features. “I just- I don’t get why you overreact like this everytime I talk to a guy. And it’s not like I was engaging Black there! The fucknugget is just to stupid to get a hint!”

“I-”

“There it is again! You did it again! What is it that you can’t tell me? Come on Sev! You can tell me everything. When did you start having secrets from me?” It’s a hit to your ego as much as you don’t like admitting it. 

You have always been Severus’ safespace. 

He told you things he never even told Lily! Something you didn’t know until third year when Lily asked whether Severus’ parents are ‘fighting again’ when you knew Tobias dickward Snape beat Sev with his belt the day before the Hogwarts Express left for the new term. You fucking healed him in you compartment because his ribs were broken and she asked whether they were fighting. 

Why can’t he tell you this?

Another tear slips over your lower lid and slides down your check. Your bottom lip quivers. You suppress a sniffle and nod. 

You have never felt further away from him than you do at this precise moment. It feels like Severus is sand slipping through your fingers and the harder you try to hold onto him, to the way it was before, the faster he slips away. Maybe too much has changed. Maybe he’s too different. Maybe this unlikely friendship was doomed from the beginning.

You know you’re about to start bawling and that’s the last you want Severus to see.

“Alright…I see.” You whisper. “Life’s different now. We’re keeping secrets now…”

“Sunshine-”

“No- no, ‘tis fine-” You roughly wipe your eyes. “See you- see you sometime….congratulations again.” You turn around to find a quiet alleyway to disapparate to your flat and break down there like a pathetic little teen that got her pathetic little heart broken without ever even working up the courage to confess her pathetic feelings. 

Your steps sound horribly loud in the dark, cold night and with every step you take away from Severus you feel like you’re losing him more, every step is another crack, another break, another insurmountable obstacle between you. The cold wind cuts through your clothes with ease and you shiver. 

“I love you.”

You stop dead in your tracks. Your heart skips a beat or two or maybe it forgets how to work entirely. 

Severus’ voice is quiet, uncertain like it has not been since second year when he thought you didn’t want to be friends with him anymore after he lashed out at you.

“Sunshine- I knew Warren would only hurt you. That he’s not good enough for you. He bragged in the Slytherin common room that you showed him your boobs- He said all sorts of awful things and I- I just sat there. I should have said something, defended you, made him shut up but- Warren was two years above us and…” He takes a shuddering breath, dispelling old shame and insecurity from his voice. “Black’s just like that. He never cared for you before and now all of a sudden he is dying to go out with you? You don’t even realise it, Sunshine but- you- you are stunning. You have changed so much since school, you are- fuck I don’t know- words-” He sighs and rubs his hands over his face. 

You feel numb and like you’re on fire at the same time. Of course you knew Warren spread some shit about you around, it’s why you broke up and broke his nose in the process for good measure, earning three weeks detention with McGonagall, but you wished you would have known sooner... 

And- Severus loves you? No- that can’t be right- He’s in love with Lily- it’s always been Lily-

“You’re happier somehow- you- you’re radiant and beautiful and- you’ve grown up so much and- and- I love you. I’ve loved you for years- I want to protect you. I want to guard your happiness and yes I’d go back to knock out every single one of Black’s teeth for talking to you like that. You just have to say the word - sunshine - I’m pretty sure there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. And I know I’m not bloody good enough for you- I am rude and surly and miserable to be around - I don’t expect you to feel the same…I- fuck I don’t know-”

“You love me?”

“I love you.”

“I thought you love Lily.”

“Lily is- was- still is- I have no goddamn clue- she’s like a sister. I love her. And I think marrying Potter was a huge mistake and that she’ll divorce him in about three years - if she manages to stand him that long and when she does I hope- I hope we can mend our friendship…maybe- but- but I don’t love her like that. Not like I love you.”

Severus loves you.

Has loved you for years.

Severus loves you… You swirl around and before your anxiety can overpower your heart, screaming and aching and thrashing about in your chest you cup his face with your trembling hands and press your lips against his.

Severus stiffens. For a moment you just stand there, on your tiptoes to be able to reach him, holding onto him, feeling his heat against you, your lips exploding with electrifying tingling. Your stomach clenches and twists, flip flops and gives birth to a thousand erratic butterflies and all flutter around in a whirlwind of emotions that are too colourful, too many, too intense to ever find words worthy of describing the sensation.

Cautiously Severus puts his hands on your back and moves his lips against yours. You’re still crying, tears stream over your cheeks and run along the curves of your face to your lips. 

As if woken from an enchanted slumber, Severus drags you against his chest and kisses you fiercely. One arm wrapped around your back and clutching at your waist, and one hand cradling the back of your head, long slender fingers threading through your hair. You grab the front of his robes and cling to him. 

You both stumble a few steps and your back hits the brick wall of a house. Severus licks along the seam of your lips which you happily part for him. Your kiss grows sloppy and desperate. Your tongues meet gingerly at first but soon the slight air of discomfort and wariness at this development vanishes, flies away into the cool air of the night, gone and forgotten, as unimportant as your stupid fight.

Severus is kissing you. You are finally kissing Severus. He loves you. He has loved you for years.

Everything is good.

“Sev-” You whimper against his lips between two kisses. You try to break them, to wrench an inch of air between you but Severus is like a man dying of thirst that finally found a water source and is clenching his burning thirst. “Sev-” You push against his chest. Severus releases your lips, but doesn’t move away, doesn’t let go of you. 

He leans his forehead against yours and blinks back at you, his dark eyes seemingly trying to pervade yours, to find a direct path to your deepest thoughts, a link between you and him that is untouchable by anybody else, that runs deeper than any other connection between two people.

“Don’t you want to invite me back to your place?” You murmur and tug playfully at the button just above his throat. Severus’ eyes darken. A muscle in his jaw jumps. Your cunt clenches around nothing. Needy, desperate, wanting.

He clears his throat and steps back. How the fuck does he still look put together? How can he manage to reign in that storm in his eyes so expertly, so fast and clean while you’re a panting, sweaty, needy mess after just a few damn kisses?

“You won’t like what I’d do then.” He says, voice heavy with what he leaves unsaid. You push yourself off the wall and wrap your arms around his shoulders. You trail a few chaste kisses up the side of his jaw and flick the tip of your tongue over his earlobe. Severus inhales sharply and flexes his hands again.

“I don’t break easy, Sev.” You whisper and press a kiss to his ear. “You should know that.” He takes another shuddering breath and just when you think you’ll have to deal with the aftermath of his kiss on your own while picturing him nestled between your thighs (once again), he pulls you against his chest and holds you in a bone-breaking grip. You feel the familiar pull of side-along apparition and in the next moment you smell the even more familiar, dusty scent of Severus’ house. The smell of books is new, added after Severus renovated the house enough to evict his father’s influences and put his own touch to it - namely by adding a shittone of books.

Severus doesn’t give you time to catch your breath. He grabs your hand and pulls you up the stairs. You giggle and run to keep up with him. He practically kicks the door to his old room open (you know for a fact he has not even touched the door to his parents room since his father died) and crushes his lips against yours as soon as he pulls you over the threshold.

The burn marks from where Severus used to zap flies with his wand are still on the ceiling. The little pencil sketches you made near the baseboards are as well. He replaced his bed though. A brand new double which you are being steered towards now.

“Severus-” You moan against his lips and tear at the buttons of his new robes.

“Is this real?” He whispers back and leans his forehead against yours again, watching you struggle with his clothes. “I’ve pictured this so many times- thought about how I would feel to have you here- is this happening? Or am I sleeping?”

“It’s real.” You say, lips against his recently freed throat. “I’m here.”

“You’re here…”

“Severus-” You hesitate and pause your quest of revealing Severus’ body to your eyes. “I’ve never done this-” Suddenly you feel shaky and overwhelmed.

“Warren-?”

“Is full of shit. He lied- about all of it. Have you-” He nods, but there’s a distant expression in his eyes that tells you it’s not something he wants to talk about. Probably something he’s ashamed of. You know the kind of company Lucius, Mulciber, Rosier and the other’s like to keep and don’t pry further.

“I’ll trust you then.” You murmur and sit down on the bed, pulling Severus down with you.

“I’d never want to hurt you, Sunshine.” You kiss and between kisses scoot up the bed until your head is resting on the soft pillows and Severus’ lean body between your thighs. “I’ll take care of you.” He mutters against the corner of your mouth and kisses your cheek. “Such good care.” He trails down your jaw. “Like Black or Warren never fucking could.”

“I never wanted them.” You moan. Your body moves on its own, knowing precisely what you want and need even if your mind has yet to catch up. Your legs wrap around his hips, your back arches, pressing your breasts to his chest. You thread your fingers through his silky hair. “Only you.”

“Me?”

“Only you. Always you. Whenever I thought about it…when I pictured how it would feel while touching myself I only ever pictured you.”

“Oh sunshine-” He groans and rolls his hips against you.

“Sev-” Severus draws his wand and mutters a quick spell. Something curls in your stomach, it’s the weirdest sensation and for a second you are utterly confused, but then your gaze meets Severus’ and you understand. Contraception spell. You didn’t even think of that. Of course Severus did. You smile. 

He mutters another charm and your clothes vanish. You squeak, blush and hide your face behind your hands.

You can hear the clanking of wood hitting wood as Severus tosses his wand onto the nightstand.

“You- fuck…” Cautiously you peek between your fingers. A faint pink tinge has spread over Severus’ cheeks and nose, down to his now fully exposed neck. He looks cute. Adorable. You take a deep breath and drop your hands. This is Severus. Your Severus. There is nothing to be afraid of with him. “You put to shame all great beauties of the comprehensive history of this world.” His words brush over your skin like a tender caress and make you shiver and burn with embarrassed heat at the same time.

“Severus-”

“It’s true. The old greek masters wish they would have had a model like you sit for their marmour statues. Such beauty has to be preserved for the ages - but you…you are just mine.”

“Who are you and what have you done to my stammering, cute, insecure Severus?” You tease. Severus’ eyes are still pinned to your breasts. He visibly snaps out of his thoughts and looks up to you. There he is. Flashing through his impossibly dark eyes for the flicker of a second before they return to the heavy gaze, consumed by carnal desire that has been ignored for too long and has now broken free with demanding force.

“He knows he’s about to find out how you feel.”

“Come and find out then.” You shoot him a challenging grin. Severus kisses you in response. He kisses you and settles more of his weight on you. His very much hard cock presses against your exposed cunt. You gasp and clutch at Severus.

“Shit- Severus- that won’t fit!”

“It will.”

“You sure?” He chuckles, his eyes lighting up with amusement like they do so rarely and you relax.

“I’m sure.” You trust him. You love him. You want him. He’ll take care of you. 

You let him take control. Severus kisses you more. He seems determined to cover every inch of your body with all the confessions of his love he has missed out on. All the elapsed opportunities. All the kisses you could have shared if you both had had just a little more courage. But it doesn’t matter. You are here now. You are together in his bed, skin pressed against skin, breathing the same air, staring into each other’s eyes longingly while his hand slips between your thighs.

You’re soaked and whimper when his slender fingers gather your slickness, brushing your aching cunt with featherlight touches. He draws gentle, slow circles over your clit. Pressure and heat build in your belly and deep inside your cunt fast. You cling to his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin without even noticing.

“I wondered so many times how you’d look…” He murmurs. His lips brush over yours as he speaks. His breath dances across your cheeks.

“...in the throes of pleasure.” Severus’ voice is deeper than you’ve ever heard it. A smoky rumble that goes straight to your core.

He teases your entrance until you’re squirming and rolling your hips against his touch before finally plunging a finger inside you. “I wondered how you’d sound…how I would feel knowing it was me making you feel like that…” You give him the answer promptly. Moaning and whining, gasping for air.

“Sev!” You throw your head back and arch your back. The pressure keeps building and building, beyond anything you ever managed yourself. He adds a second finger and with it a delicious, stinging stretch. He curls his fingers and presses the heel of his palm to your clit. You squirm under Severus’ intense gaze that seems to look right through you, through your skin down to your very soul. He watches every flicker of pleasure and desperation he paints onto your face with utter, devoted, undisturbed attention to you and nothing else. Nothing else matters.

Severus knows you like no other. It feels right to share this with him as well.

He loves you.

You still can’t believe it. 

“Sev!”

“Cum for me, sunshine. Cum on my fingers. I want to know- I’m done wondering. I want to know.” You do. Crying out and panting his name, thrashing about beneath him as waves upon waves of intense pleasure run havoc over you, but it’s fine. You can let go with Severus.

“I need you Sev- please-” You gasp even before your orgasm has released you from its clutches. “Please please please- Sev-” He groans. 

“Fuck and I thought you sounded needy in my head.” Severus mutters and aligns himself with you. He takes his time, giving you time to adjust to his girth, slowly pushing deeper and deeper into your still spasming channel, forcing it to give way to him. He grunts and whispers praise, how tight you are, how good you feel for him, how well you’re taking him. You whimper and hold onto him, leaving red streaks across his back. Severus doesn’t even bat an eye at it.

He buries his head in the crook of your neck and savours your every sound, every twitch and throb of your cunt finally, finally gloved around him.

“Sunshine-”

“Severus…” More words aren’t needed. He rests there, deep inside you, his body pressed to your trembling smaller one, shielding you from the cold of his room and the world itself and you know there is a promise in there somewhere.

“I can’t believe it-” He murmurs and kisses your collarbone, down to your sternum. He kisses and licks, sucks, grazes your skin with his teeth. “You feel…incredible…you’re so good for me sunshine-” He kisses your breasts, flicks his tongue over your hardened nipples, licks broad strokes and teasingly closes his lips around them.

When Severus finally moves again he does so in slow, measured thrusts. He watches your expression with hidden wariness, watches your every reaction. He can’t hide from you though. He is waiting for you to regret this. To tell him to stop. He’s afraid of letting go, afraid of scaring you off, of losing you.

But he’ll never lose you.

You buck your hips and whine impatiently. “Come on Sev.” You whimper. “Fuck me like you really want to fuck me.”

“It’s your first time I will not-”

“It’s done, Sev. Bye bye virginity! That train of stupid little things society places far too much worth in has left the station indefinitely. Now fuck me.”

“Sun-”

“Severus Snape! Fuck. me. properly.” He groans. His eyes roll to the back of his head.

“Fine.” Severus grunts and a rush of excitement pulses through your stomach and drenches his throbbing cock in more fluids. “I warned you.”

The bed creaks dangerously under his thrusts. His hips slap against yours with a wet, fleshy sound that drives you crazy.

“Oh fuck yes- yes- just like that- that’s-” You babble more nonsense, moaning and shredding Severus’ back with your nails. He fucks you mercilessly into the mattress, spearing you open with his cock with each hard thrust. Your entire body trembles under his thorough attention. Your cunt yields to him in wet, fluttering excitement. It cherishes the promise of soreness his thrusts leave behind. 

Any attempt at grasping for and trying to hold onto one of the many thoughts rushing through your fuzzy, hazy mind is a fruitless endeavour.

“Fuck! Ahhh- so good…” Severus mutters against your collarbone and plunges his cock into your drenched cunt again before pulling out almost completely and driving back in with such force he knocks your head against the headboard. You both laugh.

“Sorry-”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” You weave your fingers through his hair and pull him down into a sloppy, passionate kiss. You gasp and moan into the kiss and drink up the way Severus continues to lose the iron grip on his emotions he had cultivated since graduation, revealing more and more of the love-starved, unapologetic, fierce man you know him as. The man that feels so freely, so intensely, so deeply that it hurts him so much.

Every thrust, every kiss, every exploring hand gliding over your sweaty skin, squeezing your breasts in testing, careful motions is a testament to how deep his feelings for you run and have been running for so long. 

It breaks free of him in violent bursts and buries you beneath roaring pleasure. 

Severus is not good with words.

But he will be damned if he doesn’t show you what he can’t figure out how to say.

“Severus-” You moan, joining the creaking bed and his grunts, the symphony of your love. This would not be a pretty, romantic, fairytale like love. You are both messy and broken in your own ways. It will be hard. It will take work and compassion and will seem impossible at moments, especially in the midst of a war, but Severus is worth it.

To you he is worth it.

He always was and will always be.

You whine in protest when Severus pulls out of you but before you have a chance to voice it otherwise or even glare at him, Severus flips you over.

“Put your hands on the headboard.” He rasps in your ear. You are shaking and struggle to keep yourself upright, but Severus’ arms around your waist stabilise you. You hold onto the headboard so tight your knuckles turn white. Severus is kissing your neck, nibbling and sucking, painting his marks onto you as if to say ‘I was here’ or maybe ‘back off’. Maybe both. Maybe more.

He fills you up again, reaching much deeper than before and you gasp at the unfamiliar, intense feeling.

“Your cunt clutches me so hard-” He grunts and bottoms out. “Sucks me in- all soaked and desperate.”

“Sev-”

“Hmm…yes. I’m here…” He sucks the delicate skin on your neck into his mouth and bites down gently, at which a loud, wanton moan breaks free of you and he bites down harder. 

You meet his thrust with your hips, his cockhead hits a spot inside you it previously missed and you fall apart. His grip around your waist turns bruising and Severus pulls you back. Your grip around the headboard goes slack. You melt into his touch, twitching and shivering, whimpering, mind fuzzy with always new, higher, stronger, more intense levels of pleasure.

Severus holds you to his chest, your thighs on either side of his, useless, hands helplessly holding onto his arms, and moves your body up and down his hard shaft. Using you and the fluttering of your cunt as your orgasm continues to coarse through you. He grunts and bites your shoulder, harder than before and a particularly strong spasm shakes your body. You drop your head onto his shoulder, melting further against him.

“Again-” You rasp and present your neck to him. A grin flashes over Severus’ lips. Sweaty strands of hair stick to his forehead, his eyes are glazed over with hazy lust.

“My pleasure.” He coos, but instead of indulging you, he kisses you. One small, chaste peck after another. You squirm against his grip, claw at his arms, painting more red streaks on his pale skin.

“You never told me you got a tattoo-” You murmur. The sight of the jet black snake and skull on Severus’ left inner arm pulls your mind out of its haze and into a brief moment of clarity. Severus hesitates ever so slightly in his thorough, teasing attention he’s paying to your neck. Something about the tattoo unsettles you, though you can’t exactly decide why.

“Must have forgotten. It’s new.”

“Hmm…very metal.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Why’d you get it then?”

“I thought I would.” Severus sucks on your neck and that plummets you back into mind-numbing, all-consuming, ecstatic pleasure.

“Maybe we should go to Dublin after.” Severus purrs in your ear. “Show Black all your pretty marks.”

“Idiot.” You giggle.

“I’m going to cum-”

“Cum inside me.”

“I don’t have to.”

“Please, Sev! Cum in me.” Severus pushes you forward and you fall face first into the mattress with a tiny outrages squeal. Severus laughs at you and grips your hips, adjusting them to sit flush with his own. He fucks you roughly into the pillows. You clutch at the sheets. Severus loses more and more of what little composure he still had. He mutters things you can’t make out.

His thrusts are accompanied with lewd, wet noises and the headboard hitting the wall.

“Severus!”

“I’ll fill you up ahh- with my cum- leave you dripping-”

“Yesyesyes-” He moves your hips with each thrust, pulling you back into him as he buries his cock inside you. His balls hit your sensitive cunt. His fingers dig into your skin, sure to be leaving bruises. 

Severus cums with your name on his lips, tumbling over them in a low, reverent, lust-drenched prayer which you join with your own faint, desperate whimpers.

Feeling the hot spurts of cum hit your inner walls violently kicks you over the edge for the third time. Severus slumps above you, pressing his forehead to your back between your shoulder blades, panting and spent.

You stay like that for a while. Both of you trying to catch your breath, relishing in the buzzing glow of your aftershock and the feeling of each other’s love on your skin and warming you from the inside.

Gently Severus pulls his softening cock from you and lies down next to you, pulling you into a tight embrace.

“Sorry.” He murmurs in your hair and presses a tender kiss to the top of your head. “I hurt you.”

“I liked it.” You murmur back and place your hands against his chest, nuzzling your face to his neck. “Why did it take us so bloody long to finally do this?” He chuckles. He tugs a strand of messy hair behind your ear. You look up to meet his gaze. It’s heavy with emotions, a swirling storm of love and care and fear. You reach out to him in a futile attempt of soothing it. The pads of your fingers meet his cheek and he shudders under your touch, before leaning into it. His eyes fall closed and for a brief moment he looks at peace. Content. Home.

“I-” He opens his mouth as if to say something but closes it again. His brows pull together into a frown, a deep crease forming between them. His lips go white as he presses them together into a thin line. His jaw tenses. “I’ve made a terrible mistake-” His voice is hoarse from unshed tears and the effort of suppressing them. He loses. One escapes from between his closed lids and slides down his cheek, meeting your fingers. You wipe it away, but more follow. 

“I’m trying to fix it- I am! But I-”

“It’s ok.” You whisper and press a tender kiss to his jaw. 

So he did it…You had your suspicions, of course you did, but a part of you refused to believe Severus capable of those horrible acts committed by the Death Eaters. And you were right. The pain, regret and self-loathing is so evident in his face. He can’t bear to look at you.

“We’ll fix it. Together. It’ll be fine.”

You are there when the Aurors storm his house to arrest him. You were sitting on the threadbare sofa in his arms as he read to you. 

You tell him not to resist, to not tell them anything.

You send an owl to Dumbledore.

You are at the trial, sitting on one of the benches. Severus looks miserable sitting in the middle of the courtroom, deep shadows under his eyes, a tremor in his wand hand. The chains of the chair are wrapped tightly around his arms. He avoids your eyes.

Dumbledore defends him passionately. Recounting Severus’ turning spy for him, reporting you-know-who’s steps to Dumbledore, how invaluable his intel had been. He recounts the dangers Severus was willing to face. He demands he is released. And he is. The Wizengamot clears him of all charges and you walk out of the Ministry with him, holding his still trembling hand in your own.

“Is this real?” He whispers and you bite the inside of your cheek to not start crying. You want to be strong for him.

“Yes.” You kiss his cheek and wrap your arms around his neck. “It’s real. You’re a free man. I’m here. I will always be here. We’ll figure this out.”

“Together?”

“Together. I love you, Severus.”

“I love you too, Sunshine.”

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

LIKE A LOVE SONG- JOSH WASHINGTON

pairing: best friend!josh x fem!reader

word count- noo idea yet... writing this rn

summary: you and josh have been best friends for years, and the crush youve had on him hasnt subsided. things are all fine and dandy, until one night, the cat is pulled out of the bag...

warnings: implied SMUT, hella dirty talk, voygerism, dry humping, josh being a huge tease, pet names, some mocking, reader and josh are intoxicated, biting, etc etc

notes: hey so i need this man sexually! thats it thats all, im gonna open my account up to write for more fandoms and hop around:) just testing out the waters with this one

"josh we are sooo gonna get caught.." you slurred, hiccuping with a giggle as he tugged your arm, pulling you down the empty hallway, leaving your scattered friendgroup behind in the abyss.

a glint was in his eye as he looked back at you, full of mischief and hunger, and you couldn't help but bat your eyelashes at him. he was so dreamy it was making you swoon.

you had always thought he was beautiful- like a dream come alive. ever since he had accidently bumped into you during freshman year of college, you had be under his trance.

"shit, shit i'm so sorry, i shouldve watched where i was going. are you okay?" he had asked as he quickly bent down to help you gather your spilled papers. it was straight out of a chick flick, and you had finally felt like the main character instead of the extra.

he made you feel so special, always making flirty comments (though he did that with everyone), and giving you looks that had your head spinning.

tonight was no different.

the booze in your system made you extra giddy, and you felt his grip tighten as the two of you neared an empty bedroom down the hall.

not a doubt had passed through your mind when josh asked if you wanted to escape from the group for a while- clearly a bit intoxicated, but still stable enough to make a coherent decision. not in a million years would you pass up a chance to be alone with him.

"isn't that what makes it so much more fun?" he cooed, tugging you into the empty room, slamming the door behind you with a whoosh. without a second to gather your breath he had pinned you back against the door, hand darting out to turn the lock.

"do you actually-" you hiccuped nervously. "-wanna do something with me? do you wanna have sex?" you giggled, your bluntness making him laugh.

"yes, i wanna have sex with you. i have for years. is that okay?"

your eyes widened. did this man just say for years?

"oh."

he bit his lip, eyes roaming down your body, stopping to admire every trance from under your fitted clothes. "you gonna let me fuck you? or are you too scared chris is gonna wanna join in?"

"oh shut up."

he smirked, breath hot and heavy on your skin as he placed a soft kiss on your collarbone, nipping it with his teeth enough to make you hiss in shock.

"he does, cause you're so sexy. like a porn star. you have such a tight bod. wonder if your pussy is just as tight."

his dirty talk had your face heating, brain turning to mush as you moaned, leaning into his touch.

"you know how much i've wrapped my hands around my cock wishinng it was you? too many times." you squealed as he bit down on your neck, hard, hard enough to make a mark for anyone with a set of eyes to see, but you didnt care.

"j-josh fuck i-"

"whats up baby? need some cock to make you think straight? you've been giving me those pretty googly eyes all night, thinking i haven't noticed. so naive." he cooed as you ran your fingers through his hair, back arching into his touch as his large hands traveled down to your thighs before swooping you up so you clung wrapped around his torso.

"you're so fuckin hot. makes me so hard just thinking of you."

you rutted against him, sighing at the friction it caused, sending shocks down your spine stright to your core. his lips found yours, teeth and tounge clashing, nothing nice about the kiss. it was rough and hard and full of need.

"fuckin pathetic, humping me like some bitch in heat." he growled, his mocking turning you on even more. you reached down, struggling to tug at his belt, needing it off.

the less layers between you two- the better.

you gasped as your wooden support was removed, as he took you over and tossed you down on the bed with ease- as if you were a doll. you barely had a second to look at him before he was on top of you, smirk coy as he rutted his denim clothed cock on your cunt, already soaked through your shorts and tights.

he was toying with you.

"im gonna fuck you so hard you're not gonna be able to walk for days." he murmred, lifting your hips up as he tugged at your bottoms, nearly ripping them in half.

"then how are you gonna explain to the group why you're limping around like some fawn hm? cause joshey fucked you so good and so deep and your tight little cunt couldnt take it."

[kolyasangel]

oh baby!

synopsis: you have baby fever and nikolai is intrigued...

content: fem!reader, husband!nikolai, fluff, suggestive ending

You don't even know how you got here. You were currently clothes shopping with Nikolai, but you somehow wandered into the baby's clothing section, looking at the small garments.

"There you are. I've been looking for you." Your husband's voice called for you. It didn't take long for him to find you, so he must've already been nearby. You saw he was holding some things, a few plain shirts and a jacket with a black and white checkered pattern draped over his arm. He noticed the jacket caught your eye, so he held it up for you to see and get your opinion on what you thought about it.

"Do you like it? I saw it and I thought it would suit me, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I do! You know, you really own black and white." You chuckled. Nikolai smiled contently and placed the jacket over his arm again before taking the shopping bags you were holding, wanting to hold them for you. His eyes shifted, suddenly aware of his surroundings.

"Sooo, what are you doing here? Do you have something to tell me?" He nudged your shoulder with his elbow.

"No! I'm just- just.. looking around.." You quickly responded, realizing what he meant by his question.

"Looking around? I don't think these clothes will fit you, dove." He playfully teased as he picked up a baby outfit before placing it back on the rack. You didn't miss the slight smile on his face while he looked at the tiny outfit.

As you two left the baby section, you continued to browse leisurely around different shops with Nikolai, hand holding onto his bicep. This surprised him because you usually didn't like showing such affection in public, but he didn't mind at all, of course. In fact, he loved it, but he couldn't help but notice you were being more clingy than usual.

You've already envisioned countless heartwarming scenarios of Nikolai embracing fatherhood. One in particular was your favorite to imagine, a disheveled and sleep-deprived Nikolai tenderly feeding his newborn from a bottle, the baby's tiny hand holding his finger. Others consisted of him buckling up the child in their car seat, dropping them off on the first day of school, making them laugh uncontrollably by smothering their little face in smooches, and many more. You imagined who your child would look like more, maybe Nikolai. The possibility of them inheriting his beautiful eyes filled your heart with immense happiness.

It's not like you didn't want to tell him, but the uncertainty of what he might say kept you on edge, even if you didn't know for sure. What if he doesn't even want kids? What if he says no? You knew you would have to tell him sooner or later though, since it wasn't like he could read your mind. The last time you even remembered Nikolai ever mentioning or interacting with kids was when he said babies look 'squishy' after an encounter in the grocery store where one kept staring and smiling at him in an aisle. You swore you felt the eggs shoot out of your ovaries as you watched that scene unfold. Something about him with a child just looked so right.

Nikolai wasn't clueless. He had already picked up the hints a while ago and realized that you might be contemplating starting a family, but he still wanted to hear the words directly from your mouth. The idea of starting a family excited him, yet it also made him nervous. While he would be more than happy to have children with you, doubts plagued his mind as he feared he wouldn't be a good enough father. Nevertheless, he would be lying if he said he'd never thought about it before. He would be lying if he said a warm feeling didn't grow in his chest whenever he heard you talk fondly about children.

Later that evening, Nikolai suggested he try some of the new clothing he bought in front of you. You agreed and lay on the bed, watching as he removed his shirt each time, leaving him shirtless and just in sweatpants for a short moment before he tried on the next one. You've seen him shirtless many times, but each time left you absolutely breathless.

He tried on the last shirt, and you gulped as it just had to do him so much justice. It was more form-fitting than the previous ones he tried on, his fingers running over the outline of his toned muscles visible through the fabric.

"I think I should only wear this one in front of you," he laughed as he winked at you flirtatiously before sliding the shirt off, leaving him shirtless once again. This time, it would stay that way. He then removed his hair tie and started to unbraid his hair, catching your gaze and offering a teasing smirk. It took everything in you to not push him down on the bed and-

"You like looking at me, don't you?" He raised his arms above his head, clearly wanting to show off his body for you. It almost seemed like he was doing it on purpose, ravishing your thirst for him.

"I'm sorry.." You don't know what you were apologizing for, your mind scrambled at this point.

"For what, dear? Don't be, you can stare all you want! It's all yours anyway." Nikolai seemed confused at your apology, so he swept some hair behind your ear to get a better look at you.

You stayed quiet, contemplating bringing up the topic now or later, now that you felt hot and bothered by his little show.

"What's wrong, dove? You seem to be lost in thought lately," he asked as he joined you in bed.

"I'm just.. thinking about something." You said.

He noticed your nervous demeanor and tilted your chin with his fingers to make you look at him. "Why've you been so shy with me, hm? You can tell me anything, you know I'll never get mad or judge you," he stroked your cheek gently before his hand trailed down to hold yours.

That's right. You always told Nikolai about anything and everything, so why was this any different? No matter what it was you talked to him about, he always made you feel heard. It was only a question after all, so you decided to just let it go and finally tell him.

"Kolya, what do you think about having kids?"

"Oh my! I knew it." He giggled before patting your cheek, amused at your question. You didn't know what kind of reaction you expected from him, but it certainly wasn't this.

"What do you mean?"

"You think I haven't caught onto your hints? You haven't been so discreet with your actions, sweetheart."

You felt a warm flush of embarrassment creeping up your face as you nervously fiddled with your fingers. It felt like a huge weight had just been lifted off your shoulders. He already knows.

"I know it's a major decision, but I feel ready.. and it's okay if you're not yet, I just thought I should let you know," you stammer.

He reached out and planted a soft kiss on your nose before speaking. "Well, I have thought about it before. Honestly, I don't know how great of a father I would be, but the thought of having a mini version of you running around the house sounds like a dream come true."

You felt a pang in your heart as you heard him speak ill of himself falling short of being a good father. The sad look on his face was discernable, it was the same one he had whenever he thought about the horrible actions committed in the past. It still made him shiver at times, regret consuming his mind whenever he sat on the thought for too long before you recognized his despair, rushing to comfort him.

"Nikolai, I don't think you give yourself enough credit. You're not who you used to be."

It was only natural for him to have worries due to his past, but the mere fact that he cared how he may affect you and his future children indicated that he was a changed man, so you made that point very clear to him.

He smiled at your comment and you felt a surge of emotions as he continued, "When I was younger, I never imagined myself getting married, but now I can't imagine having a family unless it's with you."

"Kolya, that's so sweet. I know this is new for the both of us but we'll work through this together. You're already an amazing husband so I have no doubt that you'll be the best father!" You expressed, gently squeezing his hand. A faint rosy hue dusted his cheeks, flustered by your praise.

"Thank you, dove.. and you're going to be such a wonderful mommy." He sighed as he mused about you being a mother to his children. So gentle, so caring, you would just be perfect. He could already see himself peppering your belly with kisses, blabbering on and on to his unborn child about frivolous things. The more he thought about it, the more he couldn't wait.

"What if I wake up in the middle of the night asking you for pickles and ice cream?"

Your adorable question caught him off guard, making him laugh. He imagined the scene happening in his head, and it was too cute for words.

Nikolai wakes up groggily as he feels you shaking his arm, wanting him to fulfill your request. "Kolyaaa.. I'm hungry and I need pickles with ice cream please.."

"Even if you do, I wouldn't mind at all, darling! If you want to eat ice cream with pickles or any other strange combination, then I'll gladly get it for you. I'll even try them with you."

Your eyes glimmered at his sweet response and trailed down to his chest, fingers running across his abs. You were overcome with so much love for him that you felt you couldn't wait any longer, and it seemed like Nikolai could tell.

"Kolya.."

"Hm?"

"I want to make cute chubby babies with you." You pleaded with cute eyes.

"Yeah? Right now?" He asked as he pulled you closer to him, finger hooking onto the strap of your tank top, sliding it off slowly before placing soft kisses on your shoulder. "How many?"

"Mm, one? No, two.."

"How about ten?"

"N-No! Too many."

He snickered and pushed you down onto the bed, climbing on top of you.

"Well then, we better get started if we wanna make those cute babies~"

[maomaopilled]

"I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for the truth." -> a tgaa and asoryuu analysis rambling

so um hi. i have never posted on here before but i finished tgaa recently and im consumed by terrible brainrot. i have sooo many thoughts about it that i can barely process them all. then i remembered i have free will and a tumblr account so here we are.

anyways i can't stop rotating that one quote around in my mind. the one from ryunosuke in case 2-5, "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for the truth." i have so much to say about these lines i just find them so interesting and i needed to properly write out all my thoughts.

massive huge tgaa 2 spoilers below you have been warned !!!

ive seen ppl interpreting this as some kind of angsty asoryuu thing which i don't really agree with personally (and i will explain why). the other interpretation i've seen is that it shows ryunosuke's growth because he originally wanted to be a defense lawyer to honour kazuma but now it's the path he's chosen for himself.

i do agree with and like that second interpretation... but i think it's also more than that. mainly because if it was just concerning ryunosuke's growth, it could have been an internal thought. it's important that he said it out loud and it's important for kazuma to have heard him say those words. i really think it perfectly captures the asoryuu dynamic in this trial.

firstly, i think it's obvious that ryu REALLY cares about kazuma and wants to help him. he even says he came to face him through everything as a lawyer and a friend.

and just before he says The Lines that we're analysing here, he acknowledges that kazuma has been waiting his whole life for this moment and tries to think of any way to find the truth. which shows he understands how hard this is for kazuma and wants to do whatever he can.

so ryu is definitely motivated by a desire to help kazuma, that's without a doubt. so then why does he say, "i'm not doing this for you. i'm doing it for the truth" to kazuma ???

in this moment they are facing each other in the court room as defense and prosecution. in this setting, there is nothing more important than the truth. which means being motivated by a desire to find the truth is on a much higher level than any other motivation, including helping your friend. ryu knows that the truth might be painful for kazuma, but he knows that it's important to uncover it nevertheless. and he knows that this is so much bigger than kazuma and it's important to find the truth for all of the people caught up in this terrible secret.

it would almost be a disservice to kazuma if ryu said that he was doing it for him. because kazuma is important to him... but what is more important is that ryu would do the same in any situation and in any trial. no matter who was involved whether they were people close to him or not, he would always pursue the truth above all else. kazuma saw that for himself in case 2-3 (even though he hadn't regained his memories yet) he saw how ryu never stopped chasing after the truth. that's what gives ryu such integrity as a defense lawyer and that's why kazuma can put his trust in him.

this is their exchange before ryu says "im not doing this for you. im doing it for the truth"

you can see how emotional kazuma is and pleading with ryu that the trial can't end yet. this is an emotional trial for kazuma and it's clear that his emotions are clouding his judgement. when ryu says "im not doing this for you" he is saying that he isn't letting his personal feelings for kazuma cloud his perception of the truth. it's like he's giving kazuma a reminder so he doesn't stray too far off track. i would also say that maybe kazuma was aware that he might not be able to keep his cool during the trial and part of the reason he wanted ryu to be there is because he trusted him to keep him on track.

it's like ryunosuke is saying to kazuma "you can trust me. i know this is difficult and emotional for you but i will be a steady force that remains objective and steadfast, never faltering, and always keeping you tethered"

for kazuma this is the culmination of years of grief and rage and sorrow and confusion. he's like a ship out on a stormy sea and by staying calm throughout the trial and relentlessly pursuing the truth ryunosuke acts like an anchor for kazuma.

this does lead them to the truth in the end but it wouldn't have been possible without kazuma and ryunosuke putting their trust in each other. kazuma wanted ryu to be the defense, trusting that he could see this trial through to the end and uncover the truth no matter what. kazuma has been doing it all on his own for so long that trusting ryunosuke like this is a really big deal.

"I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for the truth."

by never wavering from pursuit of the truth above anything else and remaining objective, ryunosuke proves that he is worthy of kazuma's trust. and if kazuma can trust him, that means he doesn't have to do this on his own anymore. which is the most special gift that ryunosuke could possibly give him.

[mysteryshoptls]

NRC Master Chef Finale

"There is no end to the culinary road"

I don't normally take requests for chapters from events, but I liked the descriptions of the students that I was planning on doing this outtro anyway. Please enjoy.

[Kitchen]

Head Chef: Right. That finishes up the prep work we need for tomorrow.

Crowley: Good evening!

Head Chef: Oh hello, Headmage. What can I do for you so late at night?

Crowley: Well, currently the Master Chef course is ongoing, is it not?

Crowley: I thought I would ask how the students taking the class are faring.

Head Chef: The students? Hmm, well…

[shows Silver, Deuce, Ruggie, Epel, and Jack]

Head Chef: Some do the best they can, even if they had a hard time learning.

[shows Ace, Idia, Leona]

Head Chef: Some are coachable, since they try to find ways to make it easier on themselves.

[shows Trey, Jamil, Floyd]

Head Chef: Some already have highly impressive cooking skills.

[shows Malleus, Cater, Vil, Ortho]

Head Chef: Some are still unaccustomed to cooking, but have a certain spark.

[shows Kalim, Lilia, Jade]

Head Chef: Some go beyond what the recipe says and creates their own spin on the dish.

[shows Riddle, Rook, Sebek, Azul]

Head Chef: Some read into every last detail of the recipe to reproduce it as faithfully as they possibly can.

Head Chef: …There are many different types of students, just off the top of my head.

Crowley: I see…

Crowley: Well, in truth, I have received many complaints from the students and professors that we've had as judges saying things like, "This isn't edible at all!"

Crowley: I was wonder what could possibly be going on… But it seems as though this course brings forward very individualistic personalities.

Crowley: Ah, that being said, of course we've also received compliments as well!

Crowley: I especially find that we don't receive as many complaints in the latter half of the course. Perhaps it shows how much the students have improved.

Crowley: And of course, all of this is thanks to our splendid chefs.

Head Chef: No, not at all.

Head Chef: It's thanks to the hard work of the students who have been taking this Master Chef course that everyone else is happy.

Crowley: Is that right! Fufufu, well, I should have expected such excellence from those attending this academy.

Crowley: I'm sure this means that the students who took this Master Chef course all came to understand just how important food is.

Crowley: One day, when they've become great mages, there can be no doubt that they will look back on this course and be eternally grateful.

Crowley: Please keep up the good work for tomorrow as well.

Head Chef: Of course! We'll make sure that everyone at Night Raven College knows just how fun and worthwhile cooking can be.

Crowley: ...Sooo… By the way, I'm feeling a little peckish, would there be anything that I could have as a midnight snack…?

Head Chef: Is that the real reason you came down to the cafeteria!? Hmph, and here I was astonished that you actually were asking me something so profound at first!

Crowley: NOT AT ALL! BUT EVEN IF IT WERE, IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT YOUR FOOD IS SO DELICIOUS!!

Head Chef: Well, I suppose, then… Heheh. Cooking can be hard work, but…

Head Chef: Whenever I can see people happily eating something I've made, it quickly revitalizes me.

[The Master Chef intro movie plays, except it is Crowley speaking]

Crowley: "Food," the very foundation of life.

Crowley: Clear oceans, majestic mountains, tender earth.

Crowley: Accept everything nature provides, and use it to nourish yourself.

Crowley: If you so will it, knowledge and valor will be bestowed upon you.

Crowley: Move forward! Never look back! The culinary road is foreboding and grueling.

Crowley: However, when you finally reach the summit, it will all be yours to claim.

Crowley: The crowning achievement―

Crowley: THE GLORIOUS TITLE OF MASTER CHEF!

Crowley: There is no end to the culinary road…

Crowley: Continue to do your best next time, as well. I'll be cheering you on!

Requested by Anonymous.

[kamaela]

a year of fandom in recs

cutie pie @garagepaperback tagged me in a 2024 fandom wrap up post and so yeah, i'll hop on the sentimental train. i've been inspired by so many things this year and i shall do my best to honour them in the rambling list below!

--

having previously been an avid lurker, i've thoroughly enjoyed making friends with some truly inspiring people in this fandom. without a doubt this has been a bright, bright spot on my year and im so grateful! you're all so wonderful and i love you and hope you know that.

@kk1smet has been a source of joy and inspiration from the start. my first ever fic (Got Me Started) was inspired by their prompts, and then my first ever fest fic (Mirror, Me) was sparked by their stunning art. THEN they honoured me with my first ever fanart for my fic (To Be Punished). im so blessed to call them a friend!

i can draw a straight line from every single word i've posted on ao3 to the fanworks that inspired them. ive read/seen sooo many wonderful things this year and it's impossible for me to name them all. ive picked out a few below the cut that are directly responsible for lighting a fire in me so strong i had to write that shit down. if you haven't already, please give some of these fanworks a go, they're all top notch.

+ @yiiiiiiiikes25 wrote cruising altitude from the raven cycle fandom and it fucking rocked my world. i am telling you right now, i have never read anything like it. it is an absolute masterclass in craft. every single word is thoughtful and precise. i thought i knew what voice and diction and pov were and how they can be used to tell the story you want to tell but really, i had no idea. yikes has this way of pulling you so deeply into a characters pov that its honestly disorienting to come out of. i fell in love with these random boys from a fandom i'd never read nor cared for, and i keep going back. i don't care if you are drarry monogamous, if you want to experience some of the best this dumb hobby we're all addicted to has to offer, i implore you, go read cruising altitude. go. GO. and then go read the rest of yikes catalogue bc ofc they also do drarry impeccably.

+ @garagepaperback i read this heaven of mud and haven't been the same since. then i read javelin and ive been permanently altered once more. not only is garage directly responsible for exes becoming my all time favourite trope, but the way they explore the deep, long-lasting effects of trauma (in these and all your other fics) is second to none! its incredibly beautiful and impactful and has left such as lasting impression on me. and all that is wrapped up in some of the most poetic and stunning prose ive ever had the pleasure of reading?!?!! get out of here (but also please dont i value our friendship dearly)

+ @mintawasalreadytaken i read All I Want For Kwithmath and then i went on a tear and read most of their Dead Drarry: Do Not Eat series and honestly had the BEST TIME. they write some of the greatest toxic, kinky, fucked up drarry, but somehow make it so i really fucking care about these two idiots, and want the best for them?? minta is so good at hooking you right from the top and then pounding those hooks in deeper and deeper. the end result is that i now cradle toxic drarry in my hands and wont ever let them go (and sometimes I even try writing them)

+ @eleadore's as the plant that never blooms and everything i could ever want helped to shape and sand the edges of the drarry dynamic i love and want to write! el writes some of the hottest, most rewarding, prickly to tender drarry out here. pls run don't walk.

+ @faiell and i shared our drarry fic debuts on ao3 this year and their fic, Purple, absolutely blew me out of the water. it's expertly written, hot as fuck, contains the shifting power dynamics that are at the core of what i love about drarry, and has SUCH A satisfying ending. i was grinning and cackling for about 3-4 business days after reading. (also peep their tumblr to scream at their art) fai, i've said it before and ill say it again, i'll follow you into fire, i really will.

this post is getting far far too long but i cannot end it without also mentioning some (not exhaustive) of the STAND OUT creators i've had the pleasure of experiencing for the first time this year. i'll include a rec (all drarry unless stated otherwise) + whatever unhinged drivel i put in my bookmark for each but it goes without saying that the talent runs deep and id rec multiple creations from these guys if this post wasn't already novel length.

@citrusses' Our Objective Remains Unchanged: THE drarry muggle au. reread a 100x material

@oknowkiss' draco malfoy's substitute murder service: this made me laugh out loud at several points and its only 10k!!!! also draco is simply lovely, i love him so so so so very much i want to be his friend and just listen to him talk and be insane. this whole thing is thoroughly enjoyable.

@mono-chromia's Red Wine Supernova: everything about this is wonderful, the relationship development, the sex, the writing. you'll want draco to step on your face after reading.

@putridpommes' [ART] Step by step (NSFW): sub harry. draco stepping on face. neon and sweat. what more do you need.

Helenish's A Soft Spot For Lost Causes (draco/ron): trauma treated kinda unserious but still seriously. gorgeous dialogue.

wild (orphaned): Okay so the banter/dialogue is unmatched, the relationship development bw draco and harry is soooo realistic and so delicious. a study on learning about yourself what it means to forgive

corvuscrowned's An Emerald In The Sky: stretched and pulled taut by this story, perfect longing/pining/yearning, heartbreaking and beautiful

peu_a_peu's The Superfluous Man: utterly delightful, hilarious, i want to stay in the feeling this fic gave me forever and ever. never not thinking about flustered yet domestic draco, endless quotes. An mpreg?? WHAT?? it's peu.

@stratigraphywrites' Untouched: this is delicious!!!! the push and pull between draco and harry is expert. extremely extremely hot

@lemonlimelea's we'll start anew: yeah this is wayyyy stunning, gorg writing, long time span capturing all different facets of harry and draco's relationship

@hephaestiions' It's You: one of those ones that leaves you panting and scratching the walls, crying for more.

okay if you read all this, thank you i love you. happy new year!

No pressure tagging any of the above plus @dryrsheet @its-the-allure @phoenixortheflame @smehur. would love to read about your year in review!

[cheriecoke]

Can you drop some long series recs (any fandom!)?! I haven't had any come across my dash >.< Would love to read some!

omg of course!! I HAVE SO SO MANY RECS! a lot of the ones i've seen recently are ongoing, but i hope you give them a go & keep watching for updates <3 i have read quite a variety, so hopefully there's something for you tehe. some of them i haven't read yet, but have been on my list bc i enjoy their other works :) so i recommend them to since i know the writers are amazing!!

to have and to hold by @fedyenkas (chuuya, ongoing) - i just started this one today & it's so so amazing so far !! chuuyas characterization in it is sooo yummy. i haven't read a hybrid series before, so it's super unique to see how that fits into the bsd universe.

noble blood by @forest-hashira (satoru & suguru, ongoing) - i haven't read this one yet, but both of fallon's entries for my collab were incredible, so i can only imagine this is too! plus, the premise is SO insane, it's about dragon riders, and there's an entire sheet with all lore that they've created !! i can see how much love and care was put into this one, so i can't wait to check it out !!

oh, baby! by @tetsuskei (kuroo, ongoing) - i have yet to read the first part (everyone throw tomatoes at me) but risu posted some parts on her old blog & i read it there! it's so so sweet!! i looove all her writing, and dad!kuroo is just the cutest thing EVER.

waterloo by @fyorina (dazai, ongoing) - i haven't read this one yet either but i am SO SO incredibly excited to get to it. this one is going to be long, so it might be what you're looking for !! the first two parts are out already, and there's a posting schedule if you want to know when they're coming out :)

bulletproof love by @staryukis (gojo, ongoing) - i've really enjoyed this one so far and logan's writing is so captivating <3 it feels just like missing scenes from in between the canon jjk storyline. logan also has a mini zombie apocalypse series i've been excited to read after reading the other series !! it's dying (for your love).

regrets by @/kingkonoha (levi, complete) is so good !! i still need to finish it, but the concept is super cool & the reader is the antagonist so it's a really interesting spin on levi's actions in the canon universe.

tidal temptations by @fyodorloveclub (fyodor, ongoing) - i have also yet to read this one (cries myself to sleep my tbr is never ending), but everything flora writes is incredible, so i have no doubt this one is too. it's a merman fyodor fic, which is such a cool concept i'm so excited to see where it goes !!!

hell within reach by @/ddarker-dreams (chrollo, complete) - omg. ok i read this one like 2 years ago LOL, but it's finished and its about 80k long, and it's so good <3 i used to be an insane chrollo girlie & this is one of my favorite fics about him.

lover's delight by @lovelyluc (diluc, ongoing) - i don't even play genshin or know anything about it HSHFSDFH but this one is so sweet <3 you can really see how much awea loves diluc in this series, which is my favorite thing about reading fics, and it has so many of my favorite tropes !!

geheinisse by @honeybleed (jean & reiner, ongoing) - only the first part of this is out but it's SO INCREDIBLE. there's so much drama already, and nara does such a great job of setting the scene while getting you hooked immediately. nara also has a two part reiner fic (the first part is decades) that's completed and over 10k words that i'll never forget! her characterization of reiner is so yummy.

if it wasn't for him (would you have me) by @gojoath (yuuta, ongoing) - cella's the ceo of yandere yuuta, so if you're into him, i can't think of anyone else to recommend !!! cella wrote another yuuta series that i think is completed, so there are lots of amazing things to read on her blog <3

@osaemu has a streamer!gojo series that are all in the same universe & connect! they're so funny & everything sabs writes is amazing, so i encourage you to check out her work if you haven't

the lakehouse by @tetzoro (kuroo, ongoing) - rahhh i'm the worst bc i still haven't read this but aims is one of my favorite writers on here, so trust me it's amazing. this was written for october, so if you're missing autumn rn def read this one! aims also has another kuroo series coming soon <3

i know i left some people out, so if you're ever in need of any other recs, pls lmk tehe. and if you're a mootie of mine but have a series i didn't include, send it my way <3 but hopefully all these amazing ones will get you started!

[crowlixcx]

Please god please HOW WAS MACBETH

Okay bestie lets get into it!! Obvs it's...literally Macbeth lol so I doubt i'm spoiling the plot for anyone here however if anyone reading this does have tickets and doesn't want to know anything about staging etc i suggest u avert your eyes now

Anon babes it was marvellous. David was so commanding?? he's built like a string bean but when he was up on stage he looked BIG and powerful. The character development was so nuanced, the descent into madness was manic and chaotic but eventually steady and calm - he literally snapped a little boys neck with his bare hands in the battle scene it was gruesome. I've seen one too many productions of Macbeth where its pretty much all pinned on Lady Macbeth being the brains behind the operation but it was very obvious from the start of this production that Macbeth had plenty of malicious thoughts and intentions of his own. He needed a little bit of convincing from LM but obviously your average person cannot be coerced into murder lol this man was out for blood from the START. Cush Jumbo was DIVINE and the perfect enabler, their chemistry was spicy and sensual and I loved it. They changed the script so that LM visits Lady MacDuff before the latter is murdered and its sooo good it makes Lady Macbeth so much more 3 dimensional rather than the usual evil witchy woman, it makes her human and Jumbo portrays her beautifully. It really was exciting for the production to be so intimate. The Donmar is a LOVELY black box theatre not many seats at all so you're very close to the action. This is my 5th time seeing DT on stage (prev. Much Ado About Nothing, Richard II, Don Juan in Soho & Good) and they've all been at big venues so it felt very different. The use of headphones was soooo good and it helped them keep the pace of the show (it was 1hr50 with no interval). Rather than dramatic asides like in the script the actors could whisper and it was RIGHT in your ear which made it feel very personal and dark like you were really in the character's heads. You never saw any of the visions (the dagger, the witches, banquo's ghost) which is how i always prefer it to be portrayed personally because you know... they're not actually there this man is just guilty AF and losing his grasp on reality!! But the sound effects they used in these moments were verrrry good and helped set the scene, lots of spooky music and sounds of screaming and whispering etc. And just generally through out the production you heard every. single. word. because of the headphones which was just delicious.

Final note because when u came into my inbox u were probably just expecting a simple 'yeah i really enjoyed it!!' and instead i've written a mini essay BUT in the battle scene at the end David really did win the award for most agile man in his 50s, he head-butt like 4 people and i was like...damn boy can u come over and fight me some time

[bonefall]

God I am so tired of Bramble fans who refuse to use critical thinking and believe that brambleclaw and squilf are equally bad. Many also hate on moonkitti's video which they most likely haven't even watched or misconstrued points in it. You can like a character without defending all their actions please I'm begging you

And people will sometimes jump to their defense, saying that people just dogpiled them for liking a character the fandom doesn't like, and while that can happen, sometimes people are actually dogpiling them for ignoring abuse and insulting creators with different opinions

(Some discourse happened on Twitter recently about this but it's something I've seen happen before, I'm not specifically talking about anyone)

I'm going to be honest and drop my feelings.

Never have I ever actually SEEN a Bramblefan "get dogpiled" for liking Bramble.

I come out here on my massive soapbox every couple of weeks and drop whole essays on this guy, I chat casually about how important he is to me as a character, both as someone who was abused in a way similar to Squirrelflight AND as someone who can relate to Bramblestar's situation, and before BB got so large and my attention was easier to divide I even ran an AU called Sweet Nothings which had a "big brother" Bramble take in it.

There is no shortage of Bramblestar-related posts around here, yet, I have never, NEVER gotten shit for when I talk positively about Bramble.

In fact, he's commonly cited as one of the favorite cats to see on this blog from my audience. I get praise for addressing him with nuance, explaining how his actions are abuse while also keeping him human, talking about how his life is a painful cycle of self-doubt that makes him double down on his worst decisions. Every time I post about him, I get an influx of comments centered around how my takes on him are appreciated.

What I DO see is people who make art where they try to bothsides him and Squirrelflight, or say something completely false about his behavior, or straightup post DARVO tactics to defend their fav's honor. When someone makes a comment that goes "uhmm? Bit strange innit?" they call it "harassment." Or when people block them, they call that "receiving hate."

OR when someone makes a vaguepost like "Heyyy, DARVO is an abuse denial tactic where the abuser or their apologists Deny the abuse took place, Attack the accuser, and then Reverse Victim and Offender to claim they were actually the person harmed. Bramblestans are playing this out, step for step, and that's bad!" they call THAT dogpiling.

Meanwhile Moonkitti got death threats and was actually harassed for posting Bramblestar Is Worse. To the point where she is hesitant to ever make another video on the topic.

So y'know what? Hot take? The stans don't actually like Bramblestar. They like the vague idea of a sadboy character who broke free from his dad's legacy so they slurp up the framing of the notorious abuse apologist writers, and they get mad when people who have critically engaged with the books don't see what they desperately crave.

How can you really LIKE a character if you can't engage with their actions? If you need to surround yourself in an unpoppable bubble and can't accept anything he's done in the 20+ years he's been active? How can you truly love a man without all his mistakes?

It's sooo hard to be me, Tumblr User Bonefall, the ONLY one who likes Bramblestar correctly. It's rough out here.

[vixeneptune]

2024 : MANIFESTED ALL MY DESIRES IN ONE YEAR

Part 2

Love life :

I'm having the best relationship this year! It's literally the healthiest relationship I've ever been in, its even beyond what I imagined! I literally met my perfect match our compatibility is off the chartsss we're so perfect together. He's def my soulmate we get eachother so well without even speaking. It's amazing how much fun we have together , it's so lighthearted yet deep , it's transparent and beautiful and pure. Ugh our love is so powerful! He treats me so well he spoils me all the time like I'm his princess all I do is just exist and he's like "omg goddess I'm obsessed with you". Not to mention he's so loyal, honest, generous, kind, masculine, secure, handsome, rich, he provides for me endlessly, he makes me laugh, I feel so comfortable and safe, our dynamic is the best I feel so grateful and he feels the same. This is literally one of the biggest highlights for me this year 😍 a love so powerful, passionate yet peaceful and uplifting. Marriage is def around the corner!

Social Life :

My popularity increased so much this year! Everyone seems to wanna be either my lover or my friend! Ig bc I've been focusing on myself and my life everyone is so magnetically attracted to me! I made some really amazing solid friendships this year ♡ I feel so blessed to have such good genuine friends who share my interests! It's amazing how much my social circle expanded this year I've def been getting out of my comfort zone and feeling much more extroverted, outgoing and confident socialising and connecting easily with others! I'm so charming and pretty and smart that people fall in love with me easily, I'm so easy to love, I lost count of how many love confessions I got this year! So many men interested in me and pursuing me, I'm literally everyone crush this year! I'm such a people magnet, my aura is so attractive and magnetic people find me so interesting and fascinating! Im not only pretty but i have a great personality, the best energy, and a beautiful rich mind and soul, that's why everyone is so drawn to me. I'm so good at relationships , I'm consistent, secure, open to give and receive. It's easy for me to maintain relationships and allow them to grow and flourish naturally and beautifully! I feel so blessed to be surrounded by supportive loving trustworthy people who understand me and want the best for me, they truly care about me. I love how comfortable I am meeting new people and forming genuine deep connections, it's so natural for me. Everyone is so sweet and kind to me, they treat me so well, they buy me gifts ,they constantly spoil me with love and attention ,they see my worth and value.

Extras :

I'm such a money magnet! I'm making sooo much money this year it's crazy it's like money is obsessed with me lol. A high value expensive woman like me deserves the best and attracts the best always ♡ I'm treated like VIP everywhere I go. My energy is so powerful it shakes every room I enter, I'm easily the center of attention cuz w my charismatic presence, everyone's eyes are hooked on me they're so infatuated w my beauty. My aura radiates abundance , security and confidence, I'm so calm and secure which makes me naturally the most confident girl in the room. My confidence, my charm, my popularity and my charisma increased dramatically this year! I'm fully tapped in my inner siren inner goddess energy this year and it SHOWS. My sex appeal and my beauty is beyond compare. I'm known as the it girl and everyone is inspired by me and thinks of me constantly, they're waiting on my every move bc im so iconic and such a trendsetter. I put myself out there and I succeed everytime without a doubt. I'm born to be seen I'm such a star girl ☆

For my 2024 subliminal visit my YouTube channel kali777

[gaycragula]

Hey may I ask for a part two of Refound Family only now that the kid is now joining the task force and that he passed all of the test like it was sliding on ice (easy and smooth) then one day they meet on a mission and the kido team and 141 decided to team up for that one mission because they had gotten the order to take down the same terrorist organisation.

Lead the Way, Private

Pairing: Task Force 141 x M!Reader (Platonic/Paternal) Part 2 of the Refound family short Warning(s): very vaguely hinted relationship with your sergeant, captain m!reader, military setting, hinted at minor character death like super duper vaguely, random callsigns for extra characters Extra Note: I've no clue how the military works so I apologize in advance Word Count: 1558 Masterlist

The weight of your gear had become a welcome feeling along with the feel of the wind on your face as you and your team were transported to a secondary hangar. 

After you’d found your family, you’d decided to join the military. Your adoptive parents were hesitant at first, trying to get you to think about it. You’d told Price about your wishes and your parents' doubts. 

The next time you’d spoken to them, they were supportive but still hesitant. You assume Price had a talk with them.

That had been 10 years ago. You’d gotten through boot camp without many difficulties despite being one of the older guys there. Most had been teenagers, fresh out of high school. There were only two or three other guys in their 20s like you.

 You were in your 30s, sitting comfortably in the position of captain. You wore the medal with pride.

 You’d been with your men for just over 9 years. Three of them as a sergeant and four as a lieutenant before you got your current position. Your men respected you. You’d been with them long enough to know what they were capable of and rarely ever pushed them past what they were able to do. They trusted and respected you.

There was only one person on your team who proved difficult. The newest soldier who joined just after you’d been promoted to captain. Torch was the name he’d made for himself. He seemed to find joy in testing the waters in how far he could push you. He didn’t succeed in getting far very often. 

The helicopter landed and you were the first to land on the concrete of the hangar and you came face to face with another man.

It wasn’t new to be assigned a mission with another team. Especially taking down a big terrorist organization. So getting off the helicopters and finding yourself face to face with the captain of another team was not unusual. You expected it.

What you didn’t expect was the captain to be none other than John Price. He seemed just as surprised to see you before he was pulling you into a tight but brief hug with a laugh. 

“Captain?” The word was echoed by two different people.

You turned to look at your Sergeant and Price turned to where Soap had just called for him.

“Yes Sergeant?” You hum, adjusting your vest momentarily as you step away from Price. You just barely miss the look Price gives you before he’s repeating your actions, walking towards Soap to see what he needed.

“You know him?” Your Sergeant asked. You nod with a smile.

“Long story. I’ll have to tell you about it later.”

“Better keep your word, sir,” the sergeant teases.

You let out a laugh, nudging the soldier playfully. “When have I not?”

You almost miss the look of disdain pass over one of the private’s face before they were turning away from you. You take a mental note before telling your men to grab their gear and head inside. 

–

“Sooo.. Captain?” Gaz whistles as you sit down across from him. “Moving up quick, kid.”

 You roll your eyes with a low chuckle. “Gotta prove I’m not a little kid anymore,” you joke as you lean back in your chair. 

Gaz laughs, shaking his head. The room began to fill up, your sergeant taking the seat to your left while Soap took the seat to your right. A quick debrief before you went out into the field. A much needed 30 minutes of information spewing on what the plan was.

You were reviewing with your men, making sure they had it drilled in their heads who they would be working with. The private gave you a look and you shot one back at him. “Is there an issue, Torch?” You ask. Your voice was louder than it needed to be and, even with the balaclava covering his face, you can tell you’ve embarrassed him.

“No sir,” he mumbles, eyes shifting to his boots. A huff leaves your mouth and you order your men on the carrier. They were quick to do so and you could hear your sergeant say something to the private.

You walked over to where Price was standing speaking to Ghost. Ghost nods to you in acknowledgement as you stop next to Price. He dismisses Ghost onto the carrier before turning to you. 

“All set, Cap,” you hum. “Ready for takeoff.”

“Atta boy,” Price chuckles, ruffling your hair like he used to when you were a boy. “Let’s get goin’ then.”

He pats you on the back as you turn to join your men, taking the hand your sergeant offered you to hoist you into the carrier. The aircraft shook for a moment as it took off before it was speeding towards your drop off location.

–

Drop off was quick. Everyone grabbed their weapons and got out of the way so the carriers could take back off and leave you in silence. 

The group waited for the sound of the carriers to fall off completely before beginning the 15 mile trek to your target. Price led the group while you brought up the rear. Leaves crunched under boots and you wondered for a moment why they decided to do this in the middle of autumn. 

At the 10 mile mark, four men branched off. Two to the east and two to the west. The designated snipers. All four were your men. Your sergeant and your corporal went west. Your lieutenant and one of the privates went east. 

“They good shots?” Ghost asks, falling in line next to you.

“Killer,” you nod, finding joy in the amused huff Ghost gave in reply.  With the four branching off, that left yourself, all four of the 141, and two of your privates. “Trust them with my life.”

“Good to have that trust,” Ghost hums as he glances at the other three members of his team. “How long have you been with them?”

“Spent Three years as a sergeant with them. Four as a lieutenant and two so far as their captain,” you answer. “Been on the team for 9 years. With my men for 8.”

Ghost casts a sideways glance that you ignore. You didn’t feel like going into detail and he seemed to respect the silent wish as he didn’t press on the matter. “How are your parents?”

“Good. They’ve come to terms with my decision. We write to each other whenever we can,” you smile. Ghost hums and it seemed that was the end of the conversation. It was rare for you to talk to him for long. He’d rather give you encouraging pats on the back or be a shoulder to cry on than hold a conversation.

You never minded. When you were younger, it was rare for Ghost to be alone anyway. Soap was always around and talked enough for both of them. You’re sure it still rings true now. 

The line came to a halt as the building you’d be sweeping peeked over a hill. “What’s it looking like down there, Kicker?” You ask  over the radio.

Static before your lieutenant answered. “About fifty gathered to the east. Unloading materials from the looks of it. Lots of cars coming in and out.”

“Sergeant?”

“‘Bout fifteen keeping guard 30 yards from the back entrance, Cap,” your sergeant answers. 

You thank both of them and nod to Price. “We go east,” you say.

“You sure?” Your private quips. You turned to the man, fighting the urge to snarl. 

“Would you like to go west, Torch?” You ask. You manage to keep your voice steady. “If you would like to do so, please lead the way.”

You make a show of gesturing to the west, watching the soldier intently. The private didn’t say anything for a moment and you let out a huff. “Soap, come with,” you say before looking at Price who nodded. “We’re going west. Price, Gaz, and Ghost, roll out east.”

The private sputtered on whatever he was going to say next, choking out an apology. You huffed in response, nudging the soldier forward with a scowl. “Too late to back down, private. But we will be having a chat when we get back,” you hiss, gesturing for Soap to join yourself and both of your privates. You saw your other private hit Torch over the back of his head, cursing him out.

“Aye, Captain,” Soap nods, glaring at Torch as he moved to stand next to you. 

You repeat the change of plans to the four snipers, waiting for acknowledgement before you start west. 

“Quit starin’ boys,” Price chuckles, pulling Ghost’s and Gaz’s attention back to himself. “He’ll be fine. That private is in for one hell of a talking to.”

“Didn’t think he would’ve had it in him,” Gaz muses as the three of them head east. “Always was a soft spoken kid. Rare to get him riled up.”

“Can’t help but be proud of him can you?” Price chuckles. 

Ghost let out a hum of agreement. You weren’t their little boy anymore. You aren’t the boy they pulled from that smoking rubble, who latched onto them, screaming and crying when you were adopted. You were a man now and you didn’t need the protection you needed all those years ago.

[ladykailitha]

Well Met By Moonlight Part 9

Hey guys! I'm back. Sorry I missed posting on Sunday, but I was supposed to have internet in the new place on Friday, but didn't get it until today. So to make up for it, I'll post on Saturday.

And yes, WIP Wednesday is back this week, too.

Holy shit guys, I am sooo sorry! The last time I updated this story was way back in November. I've been sitting on fresh chapters for at least half that! I thought I had updated it since then but I guess not!

I guess be sure to reread the earlier chapters to remember where this one left off?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

Steve wrote down his lie that he was going to tell Tommy and sealed it in an envelope. He handed it to Robin.

“Open that only when I tell to you,” he warned.

She nodded.

Steve had already called the Mayor to set up his first town hall meeting and encouraged Billy to do the same. He doubted Billy would do it. He liked that humans saw vampires as evil. He liked that the myths that surrounded vampire-kind was incorrect. He thought he could use it against humans.

Steve wasn’t so sure. It was like the cross he had been nailed to. Crosses were thought to have been talismans against vampires, not werewolves. And it wasn’t as though Steve was going to spill every secret about his pack.

He just wanted to clear up some misconceptions about werewolves.

When he showed up to the meeting he wasn’t surprised to see that Billy wasn’t there. But he was surprised to see Eddie and Wayne there. They could only answer questions about bitten vampires, but at least it was something.

“Thank you everyone for com–” Steve said.

Just then the double doors burst open and in walked two redheaded girls.

They couldn’t be more different from each other if they tried.

The oldest of the two girls, even though they stood at the same height wore preppy clothes. Her long curly, strawberry blonde hair was pulled back in an artfully messy ponytail. She looked every inch the cheerleader she was.

The younger of the girls had her bright red hair in braided pigtails. Her clothes were cute but eclectic. Her face was freckled and her smile was mischievous.

Beside him he heard Nancy let out a huff of laughter and Steve was tempted to do the same.

It appeared that Chrissy Cunningham and Max Mayfield either by the directive of their Dominus or not, had come to the meeting.

“My apologies, alpha Harrington,” Chrissy said. “I mixed up the time, I had hoped to arrive early rather than late.”

Max rolled her eyes. “You don’t need to talk so formally, it’s only Steve.”

There was a twittering of laughter from the crowd as the two girls made their way up the aisle to the stage. Steve reached out a hand to Chrissy and helped her to onto the stage. Max batted Steve’s hand when he offered it to her next.

She eyed it a moment and then leapt up to land on it as soft as a cat on her feet.

Chrissy rolled her eyes. “Show off.”

Max stuck out her tongue as there was a flurry of activity behind Steve to setup to more chairs for the vampire born.

Nancy and the two born stretched out on the left side of the stage while Steve and the two bitten vampires stretched out on the right side of the stage accidentally dividing it men and women.

Once everyone was situated Steve spoke again. “Welcome everyone. Thank you all for coming out to the first of what I hope to be many of these town hall meetings.”

The crowd stirred restlessly.

“Though they need no introduction,” Steve continued, “may I present, vampires Chrissy Cunningham, Max Mayfield, Wayne Munson, Eddie Munson, and my female alpha, Nancy Wheeler.”

There was some muttering in the crowd, something dark. Steve shared a glance with Wayne, having both caught on to the undertow of anger.

But who were they angry at?

“Let’s get this started,” Steve said. “I had people write the question they wanted answered the most and Mayor Roberts has graciously offered to moderate for us tonight.”

Mayor Roberts handed him a stack of notecards with questions on them.

“Right, first question why does it say that a wooden stake to the heart would kill a vampire? Doesn’t that do that for everyone?”

Wayne and Chrissy shared a glance, and the she waved her hand at him for him to answer.

He broke off a piece of wood from a nearby structure and unbuttoned his shirt. He stared the audience square in the eye as he buried the makeshift stake into his chest.

The people in front of him gasped, while those behind him winced. He pulled the stake out and slowly the wound closed in upon itself without even so much as a drop of blood spilt.

Wayne tossed the makeshift stake at Chrissy and she slammed it on her arm, causing the wood to splinter everywhere as it shattered against her skin.

“Myth denied,” Max said with a grin.

Suddenly there was an uproar from the audience as they surged to their feet. Steve and Nancy chuckled into their hands, heads pressed together.

“What about other weapons?!” someone cried from the crowd, barely loud enough to be heard over the shouting of the crowd.

“You want to try it?” Wayne growled.

The person sat down hard and the room went silent.

“Silver weakens us, but doesn’t hurt us,” Wayne said. “Makes more like super humans instead of supernatural beings. Might prevent us from changing into our other forms. Yes, we have more than one. There was a wood long ago that could kill us if you stabbed us in the heart, but it has long since gone extinct.”

Chrissy smiled. “Like the Roman contraceptive of old, you mortals drove it to extinction because you used it in everything, thinking if it could kill us, then building houses, wagons, crosses, and yes even stakes out of it would protect you from us.”

Eddie was grateful that mortals couldn’t see him roll his eyes from that distance. Because no, the wood was not extinct, but he knew why Chrissy and his uncle were telling them that. No need to give them ammunition. Yew. The answer was yew. Planted in cemeteries and graveyards for over a millennia, it was a guard against the rising of the undead and nearly used to extinction.

It still is a rare tree and the ones that are left are closely protected. And if a couple of the keepers were vampires, who’s to say it isn’t for conservation reasons?

Steve looked over at him and winked. Eddie huffed out a laugh. Yeah, it seemed like Steve knew that too.

Wayne and Chrissy sat down and Steve stood back up.

“That one was a fun one,” Steve said with a grin. The audience stared up at him in disbelief. “Let’s get on to the next question. What is the purpose of a female alpha?”

Steve’s grin grew. “Sounds like a question for our Nancy Wheeler.” He handed the mic to her.

“Female alphas act as ‘mother’ to the pack,” she explained. “There are family units in each pack but just as the alpha male makes decisions for the whole pack as leader, he will come to the alpha female for advice to make sure he’s taking in all aspects of the situation. She’s co-leader. Often times the alpha female and male are bonded, but not necessarily. I’m not bonded to Steve for example.”

Someone raised their hand and Nancy called on them.

“Then how is female alpha chosen if they aren’t mates?” they asked.

“This is a question for our alpha male.” Nancy smiled and handed the mic back to Steve.

Steve laughed. “Most older alphas will pick their mate because it’s easier to counsel with someone you’re bonded to. Plus there is always the chance that your mate will be jealous if the alpha female isn’t her.”

There was some murmuring, but is sounded more like understanding then the anger when they first started.

“But in cases where the alpha isn’t bonded he will either pick someone who they are looking to bond with or the strongest female in the pack. In my case I picked the strongest female I could trust. And that was Nancy. She’s a capable leader and a good friend.”

Nancy blushed.

“And what happens when you do bond?” someone shouted from the crowd.

“That is something that would be discussed before hand,” Steve said. “If my mate even wants to be alpha female, then she would discuss it with Nancy. There is no rite of combat like there is with an alpha male.”

The real answer was that Nancy would be forced to step down and his mate would step up. But he wasn’t going to tell this group that. Also, it was a given that once Steve found someone else, anyone else Nancy would step down. She didn’t like being Steve’s alpha female. But she also knew the power vacuum that would have occurred if she hadn’t.

Because keeping Joyce as alpha female would have caused a rift between the alpha male and female that could have torn the pack asunder.

“Next question...” Steve said and continued to answer questions.

Yes, they couldn’t be one hundred percent truthful. Because they didn’t want to hand over the information about their weaknesses to their enemies, but good god, it felt good to dispel rumors like crosses and consecrated ground did nothing to vampires or werewolves. That werewolves weren’t limited to shape changing once a month, but that the forced change of the full moon was taxing on their bodies hence the need for schools and employers to give them moon days off.

Moon days were the day after the full moon where the very tired human form of the werewolf need to rest from the activities the night before.

The meeting had gone over so well, that the mayor, the president of the Hawkins Middle School PTA and the president of the teachers' union had all come up to him to ask him to do a more kid friendly version for the middle schoolers.

A fact that had him wanting to cheer and run to Robin to tell her how well it worked.

Before he left to do just that Chrissy came up to him and pressed an envelope into his hand.

"The Dominus sends his regards.”

Steve looked down at the envelope and tried hard not to snarl. It wasn’t Chrissy’s fault. She was just the messenger and very likely didn’t even know what was in the envelope. But Steve did.

He saw her and Max off before turning to look at the Munsons. He nodded their direction and Wayne nodded back. Steve had informed them of his and Robin’s plan before he enacted it.

Nancy looked between them with a frown creasing her forehead. Steve hadn’t told her what was going on yet and he felt the heat of her ire at being kept out of a loop she felt she shouldn’t have been kept out of.

Steve just shook his head at her. He would tell her when he was ready.

****

Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @bookbinderbitch @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @littlewildflowerkitten @vecnuthy @scheodingers-muppet @just-a-tiny-void @potato-of-the-lord @goosesister @tinyplanet95 @anaibis @she-collects-smut @irregular-child

[salemlunaa]

Hello! I just found your blog and I am so grateful bc u reminded me that I am whatever tf I want to be <3 but I have a question... why do you think people "fail" trying to "get into" the void, or assuming things?

As a personal experience I've been trying to get into the void for like 3 weeks and nothing happened, also things that I assumed didn't too. Could you give me an advice?

(I'm so sorry for bothering and also abt my English, I'm a brazilian)

@orquideamour

hi 💞💞 thank you for your kind words, i think that people “fail” to enter the void is that they can’t decide. What i mean by this is that they fail to stand firm in the fact that they’re a god, they’ll apply the knowledge for two days and then comeback and complain.

I think you need to assume that the void is easy, it’s inside of you and natural to you, no matter how much you may doubt yourself, it is natural to you. Stand firm and do not waver on this fact. Treat doubts like intrusive thoughts that don’t deserve your time of day. i’ll repeat what i said to someone who i was also answering but if you’re in class, you may get an intrusive thought like “what if i took off my shoe and threw it at my teacher” but you won’t act on it, you won’t give it much attention and in a few seconds you would have probably moved on to another thought. Treat your doubts like that, like intrusive thoughts that aren’t natural to you, because failure and doubts aren’t natural, being a god and a void master is.

Stand firm NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE: “i’ve been trying for three weeks and nothing happened”

“I AM the void”

“the void is natural to me”

“i have entered so many times it’s sooo easy”

when you are a god, there is no such thing as failure. ever. your reality will reflect what you truly believe, not what everyone is telling you to believe but what you genuinely believe. no. matter. what. you can’t fail the void, but what people do is they fail to decide that they are going to enter/tap in to the void, they will affirm for a day and complain when “nothing happens” and come back to tumblr only to repeat the cycle and before they know it so much time has passed. You need to decide and stand firm in the fact that this is who you are now: a god that can access their void in minutes, that does it all the time. There is no trying there is only being, and until people stop “trying” and instead be the person that always enters, they won’t get far in this journey.

But i just wanted to say, don’t be discouraged about “wasted time”, think of it as time that you have used to grow and store more information about the void and loa in your head. relax because the void is in you, it’s not running away from you and time doesn’t matter -you’re gonna be okay💞

[lizardperson]

lizardwriting wrapped 2024

because this whole thing deserves a little yearly review too...

after not writing anything for the public in sooo many years, i actually wrote quite a lot this year. only had to overcome the initial feeling of "cringe omg i can't post that 😬", and now have lost all shame and am enjoying myself immensely, subjecting the world to my bullshit. i think i actually improved quite a bit over the whole year.

AO3 STATS [link]

28 works 48,102 words total 18x ocworld: 17 short bits + 5 chapters Dark Lights, Shine Loud 7x fallout: 6 of those Courier Mika including 20 oneshot chapters Come All Sufferers (#fnv au) 2x star trek disco

---

SPOTLIGHT some points stolen from this list

.characters i thought most about: mika - light of my life, bane of my existence. the ultimate blorbo from my brain, bouncing around in there 24/7. she's terrible and i love her so much. (#mika tag) gabriel - grew SO MUCH this year, mostly thanks to the silly little fallout au. i have a lot of thoughts but not enough words. i love him so much. (#gabriel tag) special mention: fiona - what started out as daria's nameless dead backstorywife somehow turned into an actual character that has been living in my brain now extensively. little miss tortured poet. i love her. (#fiona tag)

.favorite title And there are days like this, too because it's the perfect throwback to the kinda-first part 4261 days. and i wasn't even the one who came up with it, that was @voidthing special mention: The Hills Have Eyebots. because it's just funny.

.favorite opening line

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Mika cursed when her can of energy drink let out the familiar hiss of danger. Despite her best efforts and a few quick sips, she still managed to spill some of it on herself and the couch. Great, another point for Nic's long list of things to be pissed about. As if the general mood in this apartment hadn't been shitty enough those last few weeks. Oh well, let her bitch then. [Dark Lights, Shine Loud]

is it my best line? nah, far from it. is it the perfect introduction to Mika? hell yea - cursing, consuming caffeine, and making a mess. what more do you need to know lmao. i just really like that one, still. the whole first chapter, actually.

.favorite piece of dialogue

"You didn't answer my question - you think we're doing the right thing here?" "Yes." There was not a bit of doubt in his voice. "You believe in our stupid plan?" "I believe in you." [Doing The Right Thing]

just sums up the whole fallout au and their dynamic so well, and also *clutches chest*

special shoutout to the close second, the "I'm not a lesbian" bit in In Whiskey Veritas

and another special shoutout to the last bit of Left My Heart In The Sierra Madre because. T_T

.favorite ending line

Falling in love with her best friend was such a bad idea, July thought, and yet she didn't know how not to. [Viola sororia]

it's so sappy. but 🥺🥺🥺

close second for a completely different vibe:

Freud would probably have something to say about distracting yourself from your shitty mother by sleeping with a woman roughly that same age. Good thing Freud was dead. [Mommy issues]

.favorite text overall 4261 days i still think this is the best thing i've written. for someone who does not have particularly much experience with grief in general, i really really like writing a lot about it somehow...

---

OUTLOOK 2025

the big multi chapter thingies are very far up my to do list, but yknow how it is with adhd brains - ohhh lets do that quick short text first, and that one, and that one *procrastinates the big ones*

BUT that is the plan:

. finally getting some more chapters into Dark Lights, Shine Loud. there are a bunch lying around as first drafts, but they still need some work. soonTM

. continuing the way-too-ambition plotheavy heistthing What Happens In Reno, Stays In Reno after those first few intro chapters. this requires an extensive brainstorming session to get the actual plot hammered together.

. the shiny new wip that i am itching for (because shiny and new), because it's gonna be a bit different in various ways so that makes it excitingTM

....and of course just continuing to write, overall. gonna keep my #fff streak up.

---

SPECIAL THANKS

@voidthing for basically being my secret co-author. always improves the quality by SO MUCH and is the bestest anyway 💕💕💕

the whole @flashfictionfridayofficial community - turns out a regular thing is really good to get a habit going, and also y'all are so nice and cool and just 💕💕💕

everybody who reads my stuff of course :D yes, i mostly write for myself, but of course it's always awesome if someone else likes my bullshit 🙏

[redleavesinthewind]

elliot's 2023 fic wrap up

2022 version

alright friends it is once again time for me to review the (many) fics i read in the previous year and try to write a more or less concise rec list of my absolute faves (i wish i didn't have to chose but heh i'm not gonna subject anyone to 332 fics in 1 post - also wait only 332 fics? that's like. over 100 less than last year, what the fuck. anyway)

okay now first the part that interests no one but me (yes you may skip this) and that's the numbers part! i'm not making a whole elaborate spreadsheet to then not throw around cool numbers. anyway.

i've read around 4,932k words in 332 fics across 18 fandoms. that is much less than last year, and yeah, i've been generally less productive in 2023 but we don't have to talk about it. at least i have more variety of fandoms this time (let's ignore that it's only 2 more and also that from fandom 13 on there's only 1 fic per fandom)

i started out the year strong with 847k words across 72 fic in february (followed by 753k across 42 fics in january, and 621k words across 63 fics in march). it goes downhill for the rest of the year. eh it wasn't my year so what! 2024 is gonna be more filled with fic reading again!!!

my top 3 fandoms are so entirely unsurprising to me i am almost disappointed in myself. when did i become so predictable. top fandom is young royals with 166 fics! congratulations young royals, you are a very persistent hyperfixation, you didn't peter out after 2 months like i expected. Spot number 2 is taken by avatar the last airbender with 41 fics! giant leap there, but it's also funny because i fell into an atla rabbit hole late 2023 (as i do every few years) and it still got up to 41 fics despite uni not allowing me to read last semester (uni is evil). Same as last year, spn takes third place with 38 fics. speaking of persistent hyperfixations.......... *big sigh*

and that is it the boring part is over let's go to the fun section LET'S REC SOME FIIIIIICCCCSSSSSSS (under the cut)

JANUARY

bet you you'll ... (noraverse) (series) by @gh0sthugs | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 52k words

a kid fic!! and such a sweet one too! i'm kinda weak for kid fics ngl, and nora is so sweet and wonderful, and the relationship that slowly forms between wille and simon is beautiful and comfortable. this whole series is just such a good time

spreadsheet notes: ah to fall in love with the dilf next door who also happens to be the ex crown prince of the country

A Royal Intervention by AnxiousAnaconda | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 18k words

erik is being such a dumbass in this one. like, he means well, but he's kinda messing up and pissing people off (understandably). it's nice to get a view on erik that's not portraying him as this perfect guy though, and the fic is actually so much fun to read. and hey, the prime minister of luxembourg gets mentioned, which i was kinda waiting for in yr fic ngl

spreadsheet notes: big sigh... erik you fucking idiot. stop listening to august. also shoutout to xavier bettel apparently (edit: this aged poorly, fuck xavier bettel)

and each slow dusk by @if-fortunate | young royals, wilmon | mature | 49k words

okay. ooookay how do i even begin with this one. ohhh boy. okay. so. world war three. wille gets stuck in bjärstad with simon, many many things happen, it's about finding hope in a horrible situation and trying to live life despite everything falling apart around you. it's incredibly well written and something about it just has me in awe

spreadsheet notes: i don't know what it says about me that this is without a shadow of a doubt the best fic i have ever read in my life

Put Me Back Together and Take My Heart by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 50k words

i once again don't know what to say, this one is sooo good. simon is suffering and both wille and i hate it, but... but wille is there for him and ugh, they just... they just can't be apart. a story of reconciliation and healing from both physical and invisible wounds, and of making the right decisions for yourself

spreadsheet notes: ugh. UGH. my guys. MY GUYS. yeah let's go blackmail the queen

Department Six by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf | gen | 4k words

a fun short one about stiles and danny working for the fbi and being delightfully weird and mysterious

spreadsheet notes: HILARIOUS i'm in love with outsider pov always

FEBRUARY

There Are No Wolves in California by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf, sterek | gen | 5k words

you know, sometimes you see a fic you know is going to hurt you, and you've never clicked on anything faster. this is definitely one of those fics

spreadsheet notes: let's be wolves today yeah well derek what if i just break down and cry instead

you got my body, i got your body by @prince-simon | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 9k words

this one's technically part of a bigger series (which, definitely read that one too), but i'm highlighting this one cause... damn... this made me feel things... like, gender things... which is really weird cause wille's gender in this is very much different from mine BUT STILL

spreadsheet notes: how almost 9k of pwp gave me so many gender feelings i will never understand

Changing Channels: Queer Premiere by @emeraldcas, @fellshish | spn, deancas | gen | 27k words

this might actually be one of the funniest fics i've ever read. dean and cas are so stupid (affectionately) and all the crossovers are delightful (bonus that i knew all the other shows). everyone go read this it's gonna be the best time

spreadsheet notes: mel and fells have genuinely outdone themselves this is the most hilarious shit i've ever read

Catalyst by @stretchoutfics | young royals | teen&up | 3k words

a backstory for boris! this fic is within a series of other side character ficlets, but this one has a soft spot in my heart

spreadsheet notes: AAAAHHHH HE KNEW ABOUT THE RECKLESS DRIVING BUT DIDN'T BRING IT UP but also... him being a gay man trying to help the queer crown prince navigate his sexuality that's kinda nice actually, like boris understands at least a bit

The most beautiful boy by lovelysarcastic | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 88k words

there's something incredibly grounding about this fic. the way it develops, the way wille rationalises his thought processes, the way the relationship between wille and simon develops... this fic just kinda sucked me in and spit me out again feeling... content and calm and... it's just... this fic is so beautiful

spreadsheet notes: dude i love this so much??? they're both so stupid??? i love them???

MARCH

All's Fair in Love and Hunting by @badjoices | spn, deancas | mature | 20k words

they're playing gay chicken but also are being incredibly competitive and stupid about it, and i'm just sorry about the shit sam has to witness. so many shenanigans in this fic

spreadsheet notes: they are both so stupid omg

["mi cotufita" started sharing their screen] by @omar-rudeberg | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 60k

so... this is a follow up to one of my favourite fics and it is a delight. very horny but also very sweet? and also for some reason there's porn. fun times! oh, and this fic made me cry. it really has the range

spreadsheet notes: how are they so horny it's so funnyyyyyy, but also if i were wille i could never look linda in the eyes again

A Light To Guide You In The Dark (Warmed By The Fire's Glow) by 80shairmetal | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 19k words

this is just... people taking care of each other out of the kindness of their hearts. finding comfort in strangers who become family. growing and helping each other. there's such a beauty to this one

spreadsheet notes: this is just..... comfort

did you see the love in my eyes, oh were you gazing through this disguise? by @tooindecisivetopickaurl | young royals, wilmon | mature | 67k words

fake dating my beloved. they're so in love with each other but they're pretending not to be while pretending... to be? i'm obsessed with them. but they're so respectful with each other and cautious of boundaries and they really are best friends who also happen to be obliviously in love

spreadsheet notes: love a good fake dating au they're so stupid i love them

flash like a setting sun by @playedwright | 911, buddie | explicit | 22k words

because you only realise you're in love with your best friend when you're scared you're losing him. that's the fic. and it's beautiful

spreadsheet notes: oh this is sooooo beautifully written and ugh just <333

Other people's secrets by @sflow-er | young royals, walty & wilmon | mature | 239k words

yooooo hello? so first off this is an outsider pov on wilmon which i am always obsessed with anyways but the focus isn't just on them, this is henry's story. it's a beautiful story about how friendships form and warp and change, how feelings manifest in different ways, how decisions and actions have consequences. it's an incredibly mature take on post-s1, and it's probably my favourite of the year. also ace representation!!!!

spreadsheet notes: ace henry my beloved <33 also love seeing wilmon from an outside perspective! such a good, well thought out fic with lots of healthy comminication <33

APRIL

if i stare too long by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringroveson | explicit | 191k words

i haven't seen st s4 (and probably won't watch it) but that definitely won't stop me from reading harringroveson fic. i mean, who wouldn't look at those three and immediately want to see them together. the way their dynamic is written in this fic is peak, i don't even know what more to say. i also very much trust these authors with billy, and again i wasn't disappointed. there's just something in his head that's intriguing.

spreadsheet notes: this whole fic is such a vibe it makes me feel of hot summer chillin

MAY

Rewrite the Stars (series) by @in-amor-veritas | young royals, wilmon | mature | 137k words

definitely one of the highlights of the year, simon's whole life in new york... those scenes, they just show such a wonderful life simon has built for himself, and his relationship with wille doesn't change it, but he manages to fit in (after, you know, fun rom-com drama shenanigans). also. this is a kid fic. kid fics are my weak spot. rasmus is my new favourite little guy. also shoutout to luis best side character ever

spreadsheet notes: YELLING i love this fic sooo much it is everything

Where The Wind Will Carry Me by @1-life-to-give | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 49k words

AND THEY WERE ACTORS PLAYING LOVE INTERESTS. do i have to say more? the tension guys the TENSION. also erik's side-plot i'm in love

spreadsheet notes: hopping up and down like a hyperactive chihuahua EN I LOVE THIS

Your love is my turning page (the t4t wilmon as girldads au) (series) by @willesworld | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 17k words

i know i know another kid fic BUT!!!! t4t wilmon. makes it automatically superior. i'm not even kidding, add trans characters and i will like your fic (that i probably already like a lot) aroun 300000000 times more. but also this series comes for your feelings. it hits

spreadsheet notes: i am weak for t4t wilmon AND them having a biological child there's something so beautiful about it like that could be meeee ; siiimon i need to hug him and i need to hug wille they're gonna get out of this i prommy ; recovery and one step forwards a hundred steps back, but they made it there in the end ; they were so happy :((((

JUNE

A trace of dew by nuncflore | elden ring, this is too complicated | gen | 13k words

very elden ring-esque writing style, wonderful representation of whatever the hell is going on in the lore. hehehehehhe fucked up family ehhehehehe DIVORCE. my friends are so talented :))

spreadsheet notes: CAP I AM EATING YOU

Hanging from the Ceiling by @spicymiilk | spiderverse | teen&up | 6k words

for like. a week after i saw the new spiderverse movie i made miles 42 my entire life. that also meant reading this fic. and damn did this fic hit. i am still thinking about it

spreadsheet notes: i need more miles 42 content he is my favourite guy ever

The Darkest Little Paradise by @yourdemiurge | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 79k words

*holding you at gunpoint* read this fic. read it now, in this moment. you are not gonna regret it. believe me when i say you NEED this fic, you really do. doesn't even matter if you've seen yr or not. you're gonna thank me later

spreadsheet notes: THIS IS INSANE I CAN'T BREATHE MADY WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

JULY

Protected (series) by bastuba | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 69k words

hey do you ever read a fic and you just feel. so incredibly grounded because something about the characters feels grounded? like, they aren't grounded, but they still give off that vibe? idk how to explain this properly but that's this fic. also wille and simon cook together (i haven't read all parts of the series yet btw)

spreadsheet notes: incredibly grounded very mature how is wille like this ; i'd be like wille, always complaining about the heat ; they're soooooo. idiots. getting tattoos for each other ; i too would come out on a podcast about food ; SAFE SEX

AUGUST

The Season of Rebirth by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 30k words

part of a series, but i'm picking out this one specifically because it's soooo sweet!!! the title fits the fic so well, like yes it is the season of rebirth, but simon and wille's relationship is also rehashed in a very cool way, this fic is like one giant easter egg, i love it so much!

spreadsheet notes: wille taking the season of rebirth to recreate their early relationship, i am obsessed with him he's such a dumbass romantic

The Upgrade by @groenendaelfic | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 13k words

it's about the moment simon realises who wille is. that's why this fic is here. i mean of course also because it is very good, but mainly because of that moment

spreadsheet notes: the moment simon realised who wille is i am wheezing

Right Where You Left Me by @armandgender | spn, deancas | explicit | 94k words

if you're wondering why this fic is on my 2023 list instead of the 2022 list.... well that's because it took me almost a year to read the last chapter, and in terms of how my spreadsheet works, that makes it a fic i read in 2023. anyway. if you haven't read this fic yet, what are you even still doing here. click on that link right now. you want complex emotional situations? intricacies of ill-advised marriages? you wanna pick through abusive behaviour and encourage infidelity? well you're at the right place! also this has one of my favourite jack characterisations ever. it also made me go on multiple rants

spreadsheet notes: I FINALLY FINISHED IT AAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS FIC THE CABIN THE CATS JACK!!!!!

Alejito y Marimar (series) by th0ughts | red, white, and royal blue | teen&up | 18k words

OBSESSED WITH THIS DYNAMIC YOOOOOO. seriously the friendship between alex and martha is an expansion of the rwrb universe that is much needed, trust me

spreadsheet notes: the friendship i didn't know i needed in my life <333 ; they're just chillin!!!

SEPTEMBER

Change of Address (series) by hearmerory | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 134k words

okay. oooookay. strap in for this one, it is a lot. emotionally. like yes zuko is autistic, yes yes yeeees, i agree, also azula is treated like an actual person with actual mental issues, she deserves to be treated with care and this author definitely does that! this is the kind of series that makes me want to disappear in it, but it's also the kind of story i need breaks from, because it is so heavy (definitely check the tags for this one). zuko's relationship with sokka is written so thoughtfully and iroh is characterised incredibly and the author even included ursa in a way that didn't undermine everything that happened in the series before she appeared again. i can only recommend this one!

spreadsheet notes (there's lots of parts to the series, so this one is long): hhhh if i were ms jamieson i would have snapped after two days probably ; be nice katara!!!!! he's nervous ; i need to murder ozai ; and i need to murder zhao as well ; iroooohhhhh he should have just. taken the kids with him that first time he noticed something off ; yeah i think there was a reason why iroh never took zuko to the movies ; ozai needs to suffer ; i need to destroy ozai. violently and painfully ; iroh is the best uncle ever, zuko deserves all his kindness ; azula...... you don't have to fight for affection, it's not a competition..... they love you ; iroh should have taken her with him the first time around, she was like. 10, he could have just picked her up or sth ; ..... hakoda you idiot ; IROH BACKSTORY IROH BACKSTORY ; sokka and the plan that changed his life <3333 ; they are so soft with each other ; they all deserve all the therapy and support and yes sokka obviously you have adhd get with the program ; URSA??????? also i am living for sokka and azula's dynamic they are everything ; i don't. i don't understand her. i don't fucking understand her how could she not want her own children. how can she talk about them like that. like she knows them she doesn't know them she LEFT

Every night my teeth are falling out by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 9k words

i was in need of some good zuko angst and oooohhh boy was i lucky to find this author. PEAK zuko angst. this fic in particular is very dear to me because it explores how mental illnesses would be handled in a world where there's practically no resources to help. i think we need that more

spreadsheet notes: yes well. how DO you deal with a schizophrenic fire lord in a fantasy world? (you stay with him and support him that is how)

OCTOBER

for years or for hours by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 52k words

listennn i love myself some good polyamory fics, and this is the first fic i read for this ship and now i am OBSESSED with them. but this fic in particular.... the concept alone, like. what do you do when you thought the man you love was dead for 800 years, and then when he comes back you have another man you love. the answer is simple. polyamory. the two men you love also love each other. perfect coincidence.

spreadsheet notes: YO the concepts of witchers in modern times alone is sooo cool but adding in everything else? hello yes?

this is a love story by @achillestiel | supernatural, deancas | mature | 3k words

listen, i've never seen fleabag, but that's not the point. this is intriguing and funny, that's the point

spreadsheet notes: fucked up families and you want to fuck the priest hell yeah

The road not taken looks real good now by @stretchoutfics | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 90k words

it's not even the wilmon part i love about this fic (i very much enjoy it of course don't get me wrong) but wille and his kids. like, i don't want to spoil anything but like. wille's interactions with his kids are so important in this fic, and they're written so well. like, emilia is my favourite character in this, i kinda wish there was more with the kids honestly. this fic is definitely a highlight of the year, and to get back to wilmon, i do love how they're portrayed in this fic, how their dynamic plays out, and specifically how certain decisions do not depend on simon

spreadsheet notes: no but. the care put into this story. i can't--

NOVEMBER

Averno (series) by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 12k words

a fascinating take on a fire lord zuko that was never part of the gaang

spreadsheet notes: HE JUST DESERVES KINDNESS but also he's a little fucked up WELL NO WONDER GIVE HIM KINDNESS ; i mean.... what makes a monster really ; well then let's get him out of his cell shall we (also hiiiii suki hello <3333)

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by @hmslusitania | 9-1-1, buddie | teen&up | 34k words

another kid fic!!! but in a different fandom this time!!! seriously, giving buck a child fills so many of my life's needs it's ridiculous

spreadsheet notes: THEY'RE A FAMILY (thank you for giving that man a child)

a soldier (who carries a mighty sword) by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 92k words

everything about this fic is wonderful!! the world(kaer morhen!!)building, the developing dynamic between geralt, jask, and eskel, ciri and yenn, the conflict, jask as a teacher!!!! aaahhhhh!

spreadsheet notes: they're my new favourite guyssss this whole fic is so cool, what they've done with kaer morhen <3333

Will We Last the Night by CSHfic & VSfic | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | teen&up | 143k words

this fic asks what if sokka had been stuck with zuko since the end of s1 and delivers a delightful answer. this is the adventures of zuko and sokka (and sometimes iroh) travelling through the earth kingdom. shenanigans ensue

spreadsheet notes: i am obsessed with this i'm just. i know it was only shortly but their life in ba sing se. obsessed

DECEMBER

Grudge Match by @catcas22 | elden ring | gen | 17k words

i'm not entirely sure how to explain this. it sure is an elden ring fic

spreadsheet notes: i don't even know what to say. this is ridiculous and brilliant and stupid and genius all at the same time. hell yeah suburban demigods

Lonely Digging by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 3k words

this is hilarious. go read it to unlock intense life-threatening flirting

spreadsheet notes: best way to flirt billy's doing everything right

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(quick note: i’ve tried to find everyone’s tumblr handle, but i’m aware that not all the authors have tumblr/have it on their ao3, however if i somehow missed someone, i can go back and rectify that!)

if you’ve made it all the way down here i am giving you a kiss <3