#and i'm so tired of feeling stupid all the time and i just want to cry even though everyone knows it's not my fault

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

You're the Only Girl For Me - Chapter 33

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September 4th 2021 

Airielle jumped as Josh got out of the car and slammed the door behind him. She could feel Mercedes, Bianca, and Trin looking at her but kept her eyes lowered as she climbed out of the car. 

She felt like shit for accusing him of lying but there was no way Yara and Raymond would go through all that work to change the date of a video. Given, Airielle and Josh weren’t together but he also said that the only time he fucked her was at his apartment and that video definitely wasn’t at his apartment. 

When she entered the hotel lobby Josh was waiting for her by the elevator with a pair of her slippers. She didn’t even notice them when he got out of the car earlier.  “Thank you.” She whispered as he bent down to help her take off her boots. 

“C’mon Rih, I'm tired,” Josh mumbled as he stood up and held his hand out for her. She shook her head and stepped back. 

“I think I’m going to stay with Trin and Jon tonight.” She said then looked over at Trinity who looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Can I stay with y’all tonight?” 

“Oh, uh…” Trinity trailed off between Josh and Airelle. Josh's jaw was clenched tight as he damn near stared a hole in the side of Airielle’s face. 

“Airielle -” 

“Josh I can’t okay? You’re angry and…” She paused and took a deep breath as an image of Christopher hitting her every single time he was angry at her came flashing in her mind. “I just can’t” 

Josh’s features softened as he noticed how her hands were shaking. He took a step closer to Airielle. “Rih, you know I’d never put my hands on you. No matter how angry I am.”  His voice was low and sincere, his eyes locking with hers as he spoke as if to remind her that she was safe with him. Airielle closed her eyes and nodded her head. She knew Josh would never lay a hand on her in that way but… she was still shaken. Christopher was still lurking around and her mother had shown up out of the blue. Airielle didn’t even know if she was in the right state of mind to make any decisions tonight.

“Okay.” Josh sighed, “You want me to bring your bag over there?” 

Airielle nodded and walked up to him. He immediately took her into his arms. “I’m sorry.” She whispered into his chest. He said nothing, just held onto her tighter. 

“I’ll bring your stuff over.”  He gave her one last longing look before pressing the call button for the elevator and stepping inside. As the elevator doors closed, he refused to make eye contact with her. Airielle sighed and looked over at Trinity who gave her a small smile. 

“It's gonna be okay friend.” 

“You think I’m being stupid don’t you?” Airielle and Trinity sat on the balcony of Trinity and Jon’s hotel room, sharing a bottle of wine. 

Trinity sighed and sat her wine glass down. “Yes and No, You went through some traumatic ass shit and you haven’t really talked about it. But, Josh isn’t like Chris and I think you know this. He would never put his hands on you.” 

Airielle remained silent as she pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head on them. “I don’t want to lose him Trin.” 

Trinity scoffed and set her wine glass down. She turned so she was facing Airielle.  “Girl, look at me.” Airielle sighed and lifted her head to look at Trinity. “That man loves you, sis. You could spit in his face and he would forgive you five seconds later.”  

“So what should I do?” 

Trinity huffed. “Girl.. go back to your room and apologize to your man. Like you told me the video was before y’all got back together and you don’t even know if they actually fucked. He was open and honest about the Tracy situation, why do you think he would lie to you now?” 

Airielle sighed and threw back the rest of her wine. She knew Trin was right. Josh had gone above and beyond to prove the lies Tracy had spewed were false so if he did sleep with Yara more than once, why would he lie about it? 

“What if -” 

“There are no what ifs” Trinity cut her off. “You have been through a lot when it comes to men and trusting them but Josh has been nothing but open with you. And if you're going to make this work, you have to let go of the past.”

Josh awoke from his sleep at the sound of the hotel door being opened and closed. He hopped up from the bed ready to defend himself until he saw Airielle shuffle into the room. He watched as she set her duffle bag and suitcase down by the entrance.  He let out a sigh and sat back down on the bed. He looked at the alarm clock that was situated on the end table. It read 3:30 am. He had just closed his eyes about 10 minutes ago.

“Wassup Rih?” He asked, his voice thick with sleep. “I thought you were sleeping in Jon’s room tonight.” 

“I was.” She replied softly after a moment of silence. She cleared her throat and shuffled closer to the bed. “I talked with Trinity and she made me see how wrong I was - am,”  Josh said nothing and Airielle could feel his stare on her. Airielle hesitated for a moment, the weight of his silence hanging heavily in the air. She had come here to make things right, but now that she was standing in front of him, the words felt harder to say.

“Airielle” He started but she quickly shook her head and cut him off. 

“No please let me… just.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, finally bringing her eyes up from the carpet to look at him. He was still staring at her, what shocked her was how soft his eyes were, there was no indication that he was pissed with her.  He was looking at her like he always did, his eyes were full of love and understanding and it made Airielle feel worse. 

“I’ve been pushing you away since Abigail came back and… I know I hurt you and it wasn’t my intention. Earlier at the bar, I uh, when Raymond showed me that video I saw it as a way out. A way that would justify me running away and I’m sorry.” 

“I forgive you,” Josh said immediately. “We both did some shit to hurt the other person but let this be the last time Rih. I don’t know how much more I can take.”  Josh exhaled slowly, his eyes softening as he looked at her. "I don’t want to give up on us, Rih. But I need to know that you’re in this with me, fully. No more pushing, no more walls between us. We’ve both got things to work on, but we can’t keep doing this, I can’t keep doing this.” 

“I’m here.” She said and she climbed onto the bed. “I’m in this, all the way. I don’t want to keep shutting you out. I want to be with you—fully with you. I don’t want to lose you.”  Josh opened up his arms and Airielle immediately shuffled over to him. When she finally curled into him, he let out a small, relieved breath, pulling her close and holding her against his chest.

“You not gon lose me Rih. Just let me be there for you. No more running, no more pushing me away.” 

Airielle nodded against his chest. Her tears ran down her face and onto his bare chest.  “I don’t want to lose you,” she said again, crying harder into his chest. I can't lose you.” 

It was like a light went off in Josh’s head. Airielle needed reassurance. She needed to feel secure in his love, to know, without a doubt, that no matter what, he wasn’t going anywhere. He knew he played a part in her insecurities with the whole Yara situation. 

He gently tilted her head up so she was looking at him, wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. His voice was soft, but firm, the kind of voice that carried a sense of resolve.

“You’re not gonna lose me, Rih. I’m right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere. We’ve been through too much to just throw it all away. You’ve got me, and I’ve got you. Always. You’re my person, and I’m not giving up on us. Not now, not ever. I love you” 

“I love you too.” She whispered back and Josh smiled. He maneuvered them so they were lying down and she was still cuddled into his arms. 

“Next time you want some space from me, don’t go to Jon’s he already texted my phone talking bout he gon have two baddies in his bed tonight.” Airielle couldn't help but burst into laughter at his words, her head still resting on his chest. She lifted her gaze to meet his, eyebrows raised in amusement. “Was so close to going over there and dragging you back here.” 

She rolled her eyes with a giggle and leaned up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Thank you.” She said as she pulled away. “For giving me another chance.” 

Josh’s smile softened, his eyes looking at her with a mix of warmth and sincerity. He gently cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of her jaw as he leaned in to kiss her again, this time deeper and more lingering.

“You don’t gotta thank me” he murmured against her lips, his voice steady and sure. “I love you and I’m not going anywhere.”

Authors Note: Omg.. look at them 🥹. So proud of Airiellle.

🏷️: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci1996 @jeyusos-girl @empressdede

@harmshake @paigereeder @li-da-savage @nbanenefrmdao @theninthwonder

@raya-hunter01 @abadbitchblogs @jaethaone @mzv11 @shantinextdoor

@sadnni @Xmonetsworld @bebesobrielo @kill-the-artiste @Yana3sworld

@bookuce @sageispunk @amandairene88 @rianasixx @vebner37

@mindairy @saintaquarius @adoreesun @shayaaaaaaa @sayyestoheav3nn

@xbriexx @princess-saki1 @kat3457 @queeny23 @rebelrel0987

@sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @fearlesschimera @mselenalovebug

[bluemusickid]

ᥫ᭡. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚In The Key of Sin ᥫ᭡. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

🎀Pairing🎀: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader, Joel Miller x Original Character

🎀A/N🎀: Okkkkk so I had this teeeensy idea brewing since quite some time. It's a bit different from what I normally write, I shall admit. But idk, it's been at the back of my mind since a looooong time. Now this may be a bit OOC for the JM we love and cherish, both HBO and Game versions. But oh well, when my muse strikes, she does so with a vengeance. Also, special thanks to @slimybeth69 , I got this idea after I read a certain chapter of Que Sera Sera (which is an AMAZING story and omfg you guys need to read it LIKE NOW)

🎀Warnings🎀: smut, nsfw, 18+, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (don't be silly wrap your willy), slightt infidelity (yea ik but trust the process), explicit sex, degradation, (mild) voyeurism, breeding kink, minors DNI.

18+ blog, Minors not welcome, you are responsible for your own media consumption. Not beta'ed, any mistakes, grammatical or otherwise are all mine. I post my stuff only on Tumblr and AO3, and occasionally Wattpad. I do not give anyone permission to reproduce, copy or translate my work in any form of media, including but not limited to AI chatbots. If you are found doing so, trust me, I will put my law degree to good use. Likes are welcome, reblogs are much appreciated!

Tiring. That was all that you could describe this day as. Work had been hectic, challenging and had pushed you to the limits of your sanity. All you wanted to do was kick off your shoes, maybe have a beer or two, and snuggle with your husband, watching trashy reality TV; listening to him grumble about how stupid everyone in said show was.

With that thought perking you up a little, you walked into your house, your calves killing you. Surely the person who invented heels is burning in hell right now; you thought to yourself. Dropping your bag unceremoniously on the couch, you took off your shoes and your jacket, making your way to the refrigerator as you pulled out a can of beer, the chilled beverage sliding down your throat, calming down your nerves. Perfect. Just as you were about to take another sip, you heard a muffled groan. Weird. Chalking it up to the random noises old houses often made, you shrugged it off.

But then it happened again. As you stood there, you heard a moan again, loud and clear this time. Hmm, that's strange. Joel said he wouldn't be home this early. Maybe it was the wind or a raccoon or something.

You were about to call out his name when you heard a loud whimper, and the porniest noise you had ever heard. Intrigued, you slowly made your way to your bedroom, ensuring that you made no noise; your form shaking as you saw the door ajar.

Heart racing, you snuck towards the door, till what you had heard finally had visual backing. And there you saw something. Something which would have made a normal person's heart drop into their stomach and their palms to become sweaty. Instead, you felt a flutter twist throughout your body.

You saw a very naked woman on her back, writhing and undulating on the bed, as he, your man, ate her out, and rather voraciously at that. The askew bedspread, the clothes strewn about, the whole bedroom was a damn mess; but all your brain could register was that he ate pussy like a god, hearing her wails reverberate through your marital room.

"Yes, yes...i'm almost there!" she whined, her hips moving against his face. You could see him grinding lightly against the bed, his tongue making the girl grab the bedspread tightly between her fingers. It made your toes curl, a tingle passing through your scalp and all throughout your body.

"'S right, slut. Come on my face. Let me feel that cunt squeeze my damn fingers." Joel grunted, the sound of his sucking breaking the silence of the room.

The next moment, big-tits-long-hair screamed as she thrust her hips up against his face, holding him to her mound, curling her fingers and grasping his hair. He moaned as he held her legs up, his mouth relentlessly licking at her.

You closed your eyes as you remembered how his moan felt against your centre, your panties now drenched. Softly unbuttoning your jeans, you reached inside, touching yourself over your underwear.

This feels so wrong, and yet...

Her squeal made you open your eyes, as you saw Joel roughly flip her onto her hands and knees. You nearly moaned out loud, but bit your lip in the nick of time. He was facing opposite the door and hadn't seemed to notice your presence yet, which you were thankful for.

You saw him, Joel; your Joel, eat her out from behind, as he slowly jerked himself off, no doubt trying to stave off his orgasm.

"What do you want, slut?" he drawled, his hand working himself, slowly.

She said nothing, whimpering as she pushed her hips backwards, towards him. Smacking her on her ass, he growled, "Beg for it."

You swore under your breath, his husky command bringing you to the brink. You watched as she whined out breathily, "Please give me your cock, Mr. Miller. I need it inside me."

You bit your thumb as you watched him rip a foil packet and unroll a condom before thrusting inside her snatch in one move, burying himself to the hilt. She squealed, rather loudly, the sudden intrusion causing her some pain.

"Lemme hear you, lil' girl. Need you to scream loudly 'til the neighbours hear." He grunted through clenched teeth, his hips still flush against her ass.

You watched, transfixed, as he lightly began to circle her clit. Sex with Joel had always been mindblowingly hot, but now watching it, as a third person? It was even better than watching porn.

You watched as he jackhammered her cunt, roughly pulling on her wrists, to go even deeper. She wailed, her thighs trembling as she struggled to hold herself upright. You gasped, watching him push her into prone position, his thrusts never faltering.

This was wrong. It was transgressive. But oh god...why was it so hot? Why did it feel like YOU were the intruder? A sudden grunt broke you out of your reverie as you watched Joel manhandle her to his liking.

You watched the love of your life pound into her with such vigour you feared the bed would break.

"Ohh..ohhhh...god....i'm....cumming..." you heard her keening, her hands searching for something, anything to hold on to as Joel wrecked her, his hips faltering as he too, neared his end.

"Yeah...fuck.....'s it. Come on my cock, want t' feel you gushing around me.." he grunted, yanking on her arm to haul her up on her knees, fucking her with abandon. You doubled your efforts, circling your clit as you slipped a finger inside, muffling your groans as you could feel yourself inch closer and closer to your climax; your pussy getting wetter by the minute.

Her wails, her loud screams, enough to wake the dead resonated through the house. You were half afraid that Mrs. Davis next door would think there was someone being murdered.

You could feel your walls clench around nothing as you saw Joel pull out of her, jerking himself off and groaning as he finished all over her round ass, his hips shunting as he milked out every drop of his spend on her perky butt.

Breaking out of your horny haze, you decided that you'd had enough. You needed to leave before either one of them caught you. Rebuttoning your pants, you quickly exited the house, going for a small walk around the block to clear your mind.

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

Almost an hour had passed since the "incident". You had come back home, thankfully, after the girl had left, and had busied yourself with preparing dinner. As you were slicing the vegetables, you felt his arms circling around your waist, his breath tickling your ear as he slowly ground his growing erection against your hips. Wordlessly, you turned around as he weaved his fingers through yours, the slight pressure a welcome distraction as he pulled you in the direction of your bedroom, seating you on the very bed where he had been with another woman not too long ago.

"So, you were watching." he said, his Southern drawl thicker than usual.

You hesitated for a bit, before nodding.

He sniffled, nodding slightly as he ran his fingers through his beard thoughtfully.

"Was it up to the mark?" he asked, a little shyly, if you could decipher his tone correctly.

Turning your chin up, you looked into his eyes, your lips pursing. Your mouth upturned into a smirk as you looked at the ground with your eyes, your intentions abundantly clear.

He immediately dropped to his knees, between your legs; awaiting your words with bated breath. It turned you on to see him like this; it was always hot when he took charge but it was even hotter when you took charge, which was a rare but delicious occurrence.

"Oh baby." you smirked, as you took his chin between your fingers, slowly caressing his beard with your thumb. "It was so, so good. I nearly lost control and joined you both."

You felt his sigh of relief ghost over your drenched panties, his fingers tightening on your thighs as he looked up, his big brown eyes reflecting his solace.

"So was it a good early birthday present?" he bashfully whispered, his fingers lightly caressing your clit through your panties, his jeans getting tighter by the minute.

Grinning, you ran your fingers through his gorgeous mess of curls, scratching his beard lightly.

"It was amazing. I was a bit skeptical at first, but that was the hottest thing I've ever seen. It was like a porno, except more personal; like it was just made for me." you moaned, as you felt his finger nudge your panties to the side and lightly caress your wet folds.

"What else, baby?" he growled, his fingers becoming more insistent as he plunged a finger inside you, his thumb caressing your swollen nub.

You mewled, dropping down on the bed as you felt your walls clench around him; your orgasm hitting you like a ton of bricks. You didn't quite catch what he said to you, trying to focus on his movements.

As you caught your breath, you propped yourself up on your elbows, watching your husband undress with ill concealed lust. He caught your heated look, smirking as he pulled off his boxers, crawling over to you on the bed.

"You didn't answer my question, sweetheart." he drawled lazily, his tongue circling your nipple.

You writhed under him, struggling to answer him. "Are you fishing for compliments right NOW, Miller?" you murmured dryly, your fingers making their way to his hard member.

Joel grinned as he took himself in hand, slowly but firmly pushing inside you, pressing his lips to yours as he swallowed your moan. Fully seated inside you, he waited a moment before pulling out and thrusting back in, a gasp being punched out of you.

He began moving faster, feeling your silky walls encase him tightly as he picked up his speed; your breathy moans and gasps adding to the symphony of your mingled breaths. He looked into your eyes lovingly entwining his fingers with yours.

It was like some unintentional barriers had been broken that night, and a new chapter of your married life had begun. If you thought you couldn't trust Joel more, you were wrong. You trusted him more than anything now and this rendezvous had only strengthened in your mind what you knew all along in your heart; that Joel Miller would do ANYTHING for you, no questions asked.

"Baby?" you gulped, struggling to keep your climax at bay as he pounded you into the mattress.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I want you to come inside me. Put a baby in me, Joel."

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

EEEEEEK. I'm going to hide in my corner; I know this isn't a kink many share but oh well, i do (sometimes) and just needed to get it out of my system. Come yell at me or cackle with me in my inbox, feedback is always appreciated!!!!

Xoxox Lexi

[stellar-waves]

collapse

. . .

[ boondock saints : murphy + fem!reader ] fluffy february : prompt 6 ⚠ warnings: illness/comfort (or call it fluffy whump if you want), pre-canon/au whatever A/N: I'm actually officially sick, so that's why I'm behind on these. And this might be influenced by getting sick, so whoops.

. . .

“Ye okay, lass?” 

You blink, hoping that will bring Murphy’s face back into focus, but no such luck. Your head feels heavy, and you fight everything in your being to keep standing. “I’m fine,” you argue with a small voice.

Despite his blurred features, you can see Murphy’s eyes narrow with concern. “Yer a terrible liar, love.” 

You want to counter his comment because, really, you’re actually pretty good at lying. The problem is that Murphy knows you better than you know yourself sometimes. Okay, most times... all the time.

But you’re just as stubborn as he is, and you’re not about to let a stupid head cold stop you from having a good time. Tonight is the first night off you two have had together in weeks. Balancing your overlapping work schedules had been much more challenging since you picked up a second job to make ends meet. And all because you were too stubborn to let Murphy help you out. 

You must have worked around 70 hours just in the last week alone, thanks to the late late nights at the bar. You tried to sleep whenever you could—probably the only time you actually got to be with Murphy was sleeping in his arms for just a few hours here and there. You tried to remember to take your vitamin C to keep your immunity up. You washed your hands constantly until they were cracked and bleeding in the dry winter air. But you kept working and running around, and now your sinuses feel like they’re trying to squeeze your brain out from behind your eyes.

“Let’s just stay in tonight. We can go out another time,” Murphy suggests, placing his hand on your shoulder and forcing you to realize he’s holding you up. 

“But I got this new dress and everything!” you whine, looking down at your sexy black lace cocktail dress and those stupidly cute high-heeled boots to go with it. 

Murphy loops his arm around your shoulders, pulling your swaying body into him as he guides you back to your apartment building. “Next time, lass. Tonight, I’d rather just see ye in sweats and that Metallica shirt ye stole from me.” 

You make a face. “I didn’t steal it. You gave it to me.”

He laughs, that beautiful grin spreading across his face as he walks you up the stairs. “If ye say so.”

You still pout when he takes your keys and unlocks your door. This is not what you had in mind for the night, but you were grateful for Murphy’s doting and regard for your well-being. He helps you undress and change into said sweats and the oversized band t-shirt. You sit on the edge of your bed, watching through your mascara-coated lashes as he grabs the bottle of NyQuil from the bathroom. “Least ye can still take a shot of something, yeah?” he teases as he pours the thick cherry-flavored liquid into the plastic cup for you. 

You smirk, already feeling warm in Murphy’s presence before tossing the medicine down your throat. He softly kisses your forehead, then moves back to the bathroom. You desperately try to keep your head up, wanting to move back to the couch so you can watch TV together, but you fall on your side, collapsing into the bed as the NyQuil hits a little faster than you anticipated.

Murphy reappears, a soft chuckle falling from his lips as he climbs into the bed with you, holding your tired body tightly against his. “See? Yer a terrible liar,” he chuckles again, kissing the top of your head as you feel your entire being finally relax. You can feel his heartbeat against your cheek, lulling you to a deep sleep you needed so badly. 

. . .

[deoidesign]

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[priceofreedom]

funny how everyone seemed to adore Zack until he started having more screentime...

[crossbackpoke-check]

yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24

[brionnnne]

note that i will only ever call mithrun "stupid" jokingly. by "stupid", i only mean "frustrating behavior that i am immensely familar with". seeing him do something that makes me groan aloud, closing my eyes, sighing "stupid (affectionate, mournful)". like when he fucking... his dumbass "i don't want to [use the bathroom] right now, so it's fine." oughh. i know you! i know you! that's not how that works!!! and he's smart!!! he's so smart... but god, god... he's kind of an absent professor. he's kind of a cloudcuckoolander. i love him dearly. he gets called a dummy, a little idiot, and i flick his forehead, a little bonk of hard-heads, like "try again, idiot. that's not how bodies work." and "ooh, 'that's not going to work'. yes it is. shut up, stoopid. stubborn little man, my god." rolling my eyes forever.

[trekkiehood]

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[earl-grey-crow]

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[kingslionheart]

parents' incapability of apologising to their children should be studied

[megroha]

.

[apathyfairy]

every time it's the end of the year i feel like i'm going insane like the entire year just culminates into me just mcfreaking losing it on new years eve

[s0ckh3adstudios]

I waaaaant to keep posting UTG stuff to Twitter because I know people like it there but I just. reeaaaally don't enjoy using it

[arcane-vagabond]

I think I might actually legitimately be at my limit. Like I think I've reached the end of my rope, actually

[running-in-the-dark]

I've got a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. mostly to discuss if the new sleep medication is working. it is.. not? I don't know. it sorta makes me stay asleep better but tbh that only really means it's even more impossible to wake up when I need to.

idk at this point I'm getting close to just saying you know what? thank you for trying to help, mr. nice old psychiatrist guy, but let's just give up! who needs sleep anyway (me, like 12-16 hours a day). I'm just not gonna do it anymore! that sounds more doable than ever figuring out how to sleep normally!!

[feathers-little-nest]

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