#and i'm not sorry either
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Donna: "Wait, how exactly do you get 'Dick' from 'Richard'?"
Roy: "I'm glad you asked!"
Dick, interrupting: "You take him to dinner and buy him nice jewellery."
Wally: "Yeah, that's probably the best way...unless you don't have a gag reflex either."
Dick was a normal name in the 1950’s, but it’s 2022 now, so here’s how I immagine all of the batkids (+ some extras) reacting to Dick introducing himself.
BABS (10 years old)
Dick: My name’s dick
Babs: That’s a bad word.
Dick: No? It’s my name?
Babs: Daddy says it’s naughty to say bad words.
Dick: But it’s my name?
Babs: I’m gonna go ask daddy *runs up to commissioner Gordon* daddy, that kid says his name is Dick, can I say it when I’m talking about him?
Dick: *the son of immigrant parents, grown up speaking an amalgamation of Easter European dialects and was names after Dick Tracy still confused as to why his name is a bad word*
***
Jason
Dick: Hey buddy, I know this is all very new but my name is Dick and I—
Jason: hold up, hold up. Dick?
Dick: yeah, I know, I know but —
Jason: Damn and I thought my parents were assholes.
***
Tim
This little stalker already knew Dick’s entire biography, so there wasn’t a reaction, bless him.
***
Damian
He was brought up by assassins, also no particular reaction.
***
Steph
Dick: nice to meet you Stephanie, my name’s Dick.
Steph: you said Dick?
Dick: short for Richard, yes.
Steph: Nice. *nods*
***
Cass (Cass uses sign language because I said so)
Dick: *finger spells D I C K*
Cass: *there’s a sign for that*
Dick: yeah but we ain’t gonna use it, kiddo.
***
Wally (13 years old)
Dick: it’s so cool to meet other sidekicks! I’m Dick.
Wally: as in your name is Dick?
Dick: Yes *blushing because now he knows why everyone is reacting like it’s strange*
Wally: Ok from now on I’m gonna be the one to introduce you to anyone we meet, deal? Oh you’ll see man it’ll be so much fun *proceeds to list out all of the ways they could sneak dick jokes into conversations*
***
Roy
Wally: Roy, I have the pressure to introduce you to my Dick.
Roy: what the fuck do you mean now!?
Dick: *quadruple flips over Wally and lands in between them* ta-da!!!
Roy: who’s the kid?
Wally *placing an hand on Dick’s shoulder*: this, is my Dick
Roy: that’s your actual name?
Dick: it is.
Roy *looking between the other two*: ok I want in on your plans to introduce him to the others
————
This is all I could come up with but feel free to add more!!
#Dick Grayson#Roy Harper#Wally West#Donna Troy#That's right I said it#And I'm not sorry either#Jason would have loved that joke#Not because he's dead again or anything#He's just too busy to make it himself#There was a buy-one-get-one sale at Barnes & Noble#fandom
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You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".
Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.
#there is not a third option. it is either trump OR biden#and one of those will be much MUCH worse for palestine#i'm really really sorry that these are the options. i wish they weren't.#but WHAT third option are you trying to take here? what on earth is your proposed outcome#that will actually make things better for palestine?#because letting trump win the election is NOT going to help them#i'm sorry but you need to set aside your feelings and take the option that will lead to less harm to palestine in the long run#you talk such a big game about how people need to be willing to make sacrifices to help palestine#but you yourself aren't even willing to hold your nose and vote to stop things from getting worse?#or did you think 'sacrifice' only meant not getting mcdonalds for a few months?#us politics
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comic transcribed from a conversation i had with my brother today when his joke did not land in japanese. it reminded me of them. the perils of being a bilingual funnyjokesperson
#isat#in stars and time#isat odile#isat siffrin#sorry bro i'm also not funny in japanese either neither of us are good enough for that
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ghost getting himself a cute, soft girl he doesn't talk about much but is clearly obsessed with and price just thinks it's nice he's finally settled down, approves of the home he's made for himself, definitely approves of the one he's taken for himself.
soap asks kyle if he's seen you and he says, "yep. lovely bird he's got tucked away in her little dollhouse. makes great food, too." soap swears there's a subtle shift in his tone when he says "lovely", a hint of something deeper that flickers in his eyes for just a moment. soap simply sucks on his teeth, letting it slide. (although he knows that kyle's always been one to appreciate the good things in life.)
interest gnaws at him, a persistent itch he can't scratch. price likes you just fine, as does kyle. well what about him? he decides to bite the bullet and goes to simon with a knot between his brows, the corners of his lips tugged downwards. they've shared clothes, bullets, beds. if the other two got to meet you, why can't he?
"ya can come over for dinner on tonight. she'd 'ave my neck if she didn't formally meet ya anyway."
soap then asks, out of genuine curiosity more than anything else, if simon would have kept you in the dark from him hadn't he brought you up himself.
"ya meet 'er when i want ya to, boy, and not a moment before." the tone he takes is unmistakeable. his words are a command, not a suggestion, and soap instantly knows to not push further.
soap nods. "ah'll be there."
"course ya will. she'd be terribly disappointed otherwise."
yeah, he'd hate to have that.
soap sits in the living room, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm light over the cozy place. with a full stomach and an unfastened belt, nursing a glass of kentucky. he can't remember the last time he ate that well or that much.
maybe it's the alcohol that loosens his tongue, or the fact that he wishes he also had a sweet little thing to keep at his side just like simon's doing with you now, but the thoughts he's been mulling over all evening since he first saw you tumble out of his mouth.
"while ah can attest to yer taste in sweethearts, can't say much about your alcohol. bourbon, LT?" he says, chest warm.
simon's arm tightens around your hips, fingers splayed possessively over your thigh. he shrugs, completely unbothered by the backhanded compliment. "can't be perfect in everythin', can we, sergeant?"
soap's cheeks burn furiously hot when you come to his defense with a smack of your palm onto simon's chest. "be nice to johnny. he's got a face that make up for some of his other flaws."
the teasing lilt in your voice unashamedly gets his southern blood pumping. he can't help it if certain things stir when someone as pretty as you look at him like that. soap swirls the amber liquid gently in the glass while keeping his limpid eyes on you, not even trying to hide the fact that his gaze hasn't wavered since your cheeky little comment.
you then whisper something in simon's ear, your cupped hand not even half the size of his head and soap has to rearrange himself from the outside when your teeth catch your bottom lip. simon looks up at you then, eyes heavy and half lidded, and a smirk plays at the corners of his mouth.
"'m not sure, love. you'll just 'ave to ask 'im yourself. go on."
you open that sweet mouth of yours, but simon cuts you off with a decisive wave of his hand. "no. you know how to ask for things."
your reaction to that is visceral, and you're on your knees faster than his alcohol-muddled brain can comprehend. don't look down 'er shirt, don't look down 'er shirt, don't-
"johnny, will you touch my pussy?"
he splutters at your question, completely taken aback, but it seems you're not done just yet.
"hands to yourself, sergeant. tha' not all."
you pout at simon, one that earns you a look that promises consequence, but do as he says.
"will you touch my pussy, johnny? pretty please?"
#this got away from me sorry yall!!!#yeah i had so debated having ghost be like nope pricentaught ya better than that but#simon seems the type to get things done on the first time#either you learn or your arsecheeks learn#something will give soon enough#price says he's coming back for seconds tomorrow#kyle gets his on saturday#all for one strikes AGAIN i'm afraid#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#x f!reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#soaps shaken after in the group chat like yall uh yall got dessert too or-#simon ghost riley smut
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Unconditional love.
Based on this meme, shoutout to whoever made it (I saved it a while ago so if you see this and it's you, please let me know!):
#chocoart#murder drones#serial designation n#uzi doorman#md nuzi#nuzi#reeee#this took so long#sorry if it's basic I'm tired#had to work retail for mother's day this entire week#speaking of I have a lil doodle planned for that for mouse house but don't know if I'll get to it soon#either way I have plans for aus#anyways enjoy the bbys#I MISS YELLOW
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#shak's shitpost#when people complain about specific characters/CCs being underrepresented and forget that BigB is right there#“(insert AU here) doesn't have Scott in it. Interesting.” Guess who else it doesnt have !!!#BigB either gets forgotten or written completely wrong. I'm sorry but it's not even up to opinion a lot of ppl are just wrong about him#more people need to actually watch his Life series POVs. please#bigb#trafficblr
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objectively the correct way to enjoy them (my way)
~ happy
#happy rambles#bad sans gang#nightmare gang#murder time trio#nightmare sans#killer sans#murder sans#horror sans#error sans#cross sans#even though i don't consider either error or cross to be in the gang i'm sorry#but they're pretty much in the war criminals tier too#they're all terrible i love them#put them in the horse plinko please#put your favourite war criminal in the notes i want to hear opinions#for me it's a tie between killer and murder
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Im bbbaaackk
#Hiii sorry for not posting!#My apple pencil broke so I haven't been able to draw I'm still saving to buy another one ! So I won't be posting as much :((#I've been feeling a little bit down lately so I haven't been able to come up with many ideas for comics or drawings either#ténganme paciencia porfis amigues#dhmis#dhmis duck#dhmis fanart#dhmis yellow guy#duck guy#red guy#yellow guy#dhmis red guy
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Crowley wearing a pronoun pin that changes what pronouns it shows each time someone looks at it and everyone around him wants to be respectful and are understanding of the fact that people can change which pronouns they use/have multiple pronouns but at the same time they could have sworn the pin said she/her like two seconds ago and now it's he/they and a blink later it's he/him. Everyone thinks they are hallucinating. Crowley is a nuisance and he loves it. Aziraphale is fondly exasperated.
#I'm sorry I don't know what this is either#this came to me out of nowhere#good omens#crowley#aziraphale
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You think Dale remembers Timmy? Also, does Timmy call Dale out for his neglect of Dev? I feel like after living with his parents neglect for so long, he wouldn't tolerate that bs
I like to think that he did! Though when it comes to Timmy calling him out for being a terrible father, I can think of four possible possibilities from worst to best outcome:
1) Dale straight up doesn't care as he sees Dev just as an "asset" to him and absolutely doesn't see anything wrong with that. ( I can see this outcome especially if the Dev clone theory is true ) That or he would always change the subject every time Timmy tries to bring out that problem.
2) Dale would tell Timmy that he didn't actually neglect Dev and did spend his time with him when he's less busy ( which is a lie and Timmy can obviously see that ) He probably would come up with more excuses like he already gives his son devices that give him everything he wants, which should be enough to take care of him for Dale.
Though I also can imagine him asking Timmy if he can take care of Dev while he's doing his own thing, which I guess is better than Dale asking Timmy if he wants Dale to hire a human babysitter for his son instead since the Au Pairs isn't good enough to provide care for Dev apparently.
3) Dale took Timmy's words about him being neglectful to his son and promised Timmy that he would try to fix that and be a better father......as long as Timmy is around them.
This causes Dale's relationship with Dev to be rather shallow than genuine, as clearly he's only doing this because of Timmy. Perhaps it would take a while until Dev realizes that as well and breaks his heart further.
4) Dale took Timmy's words to heart and ACTUALLY becomes a better father to Dev holyshit (delusional)
Either way, I can see Timmy being rightfully frustrated with how Dale treats his own son but can't really do much about it due to some reasons, like maybe it could jeopardize his career or maybe he couldn't see a positive outcome for that. He probably would bring Dev out with him sometimes when he could, and try to give him a childhood he couldn't have with his own dad.
#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#timmy turner#dale dimmadome#dev dimmadome#fop a new wish#fop#my art#fanart#Sorry for late answer btw aa#For me I would choose either scenario 2 or 3 that's most likely would happen if he did called Dale out about it#Dev deserves better istg#Future Timmy AU#I saw somebody in the prev post tags told me that I should put a tag for this au#Originally I wanna go for CASH MONEY MILLIONARE TIMMY TURNER as the name for this AU but I decided not too hshsjkl#I'm not good when comes to giving names I'm sorry-#asks#anonymous
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I am a good person. I am a powerful person, I don't believe in evil. I think that evil is an idea created by others to avoid dealing with their own nature. I understand my own nature, good and evil have nothing to do with it.
#this is specifically post canon in a way idk how to articulate and also pertains to super specific headcanons idk how to articulate either.#I'm normal. I'm normal . I'm normal#The implications of Tommy becoming gman didn't do anything to my brain chemistry it's like fine. I'm like. Normal.#[LIE DETECTED]#SORRY . YOU CAN TRY AND ASK ME ABOUT IT BUT ILL PROBABLY JUST. MAKE NOISES AND GESTURE VAUGELY#it's so fucked. It's so fucked up. Oh my god#tommy coolatta#benry#benrey#hlvrai#half life vr ai#half life vr but the ai is self aware#...#tomrey#..........#CAUSE LIKE. OK. its implied gman does Something with Benry at the end of hlvrai. I think he's in some form of stasis like gordon.#do you guys remember. Holly's benry stream. Yeag#BUT LIKE... OKAY.... with Tommy being gman this is again not just some creep keeping anyone in stasis. It's TOMMY.#It's TOMMY and those are his FRIENDS yknow.#Is he protecting benry? Is he protecting everyone else from benry? WHOS TO SAY . who's to say.#I don't knowwwwwwwwwwwww#ouuighhghhh#This could be a companion piece to the Tommy & Gordon one I did months ago. Aoughhh#My art
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Rite Here Rite Now (2024)
Swiss ghoul singing in Kaisarion.
#the band ghost#ghostbc#rhrn spoilers#ghost rhrn#swiss ghoul#swiss army ghoul#i'm sorry these are fucking CRUMBS#its the best I could pull together#i don't expect aurora or cumulus to show up almost at all either#kaisarion#giffing rhrn#every ghoul in every song#nameless ghouls#rhrn kaisarion
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HELPP?? I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A CAPTION FOR THIS PIECE OF LUKA AND HYUNA THAT MAKES IT EVEN MORE OMINOUS-
"내가 원하는 건 하나뿐이라고 했잖아."
"I told you there was only one thing I wanted."
#Sorry I'm super slow to these things my bad ya'll-#Luka you possessive motherfucker#Something something him not believing your life can be your own. it can only be someone else's#His life does not belong to himself. So Hyuna's doesn't belong to herself either.#Luka believes he can fill that role. That he's entitled to her life..#Hyuna believes the total opposite#“We only get one life so I'm living mine for me”#alien stage#alnst#alien stage luka#luka alnst#alnst luka#luka alien stage#hyuna alnst#alnst hyuna#hyuna alien stage#alien stage hyuna#hyuluka#toon talks
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Everyone knows that Light and L matched each other's freak but I think their dynamic in the musical (the Japanese ver specifically) is underrated. Like it's not super different from canon but they just had this extra edge of Violence that we never quite saw from the more methodical and careful mindgames in canon death note and I think it's great. Like, yes, they did declare in canon that they will bring each other to justice, yes L says he wants to send Kira to his execution, but in the lyrics of the musical they both outright say multiple times that they just want to straight up Kill each other. It's direct the whole way through. There's more mutual contempt. This game is about nothing more than simply being the first one to Kill the Other (they actually use the word "殺し合い" (koroshiau) or "to kill each other" to describe their game (translated as "murderous ... game")).
(Sidenote but all those references about wanting to send each other to Hell?? Beautiful)
Yeah this is a battle of justice and ideals, yes that clash is a key part of their final confrontation at the end of the musical, but throughout their duets (or even songs like The Game Begins where they're singing by themselves) there's this near singleminded desire to just fucking End each other. It's fucking Raw and it's great.
Also THIS FUCKING SCENE?? THIS SCENE FROM SECRETS AND LIES. Iconic. Actually Insane. My jaw dropped. Light looks like a crazy bitch it's beautiful.
Um. Also. Obligatory Playing His Game (yknow the gay sex song) lines dump. It basically says everything I just said above in like 9 lines. You see what I mean right.
In canon they're playing a game of mental chess, trying to use everyone around them to finally catch the other as their end goal, but in the musical you really do feel like all they see is each other. They would probably beat each other to death with their fists if it came down to that. Idk they're just so excited and fired up about their little game in the musical and it's so unhinged and fun and special and I love it. It's like the writers for the musical decided to kick their murderous intent up a couple notches and the result is absolutely Beautiful.
I also think that the intensity of their rivalry in the beginning just makes the wind-down of The Way It Ends soo much better. It's such a good contrast to their previous duets where they try to sing over each other (Secrets and Lies & Stalemate) or with each other but basically at the top of their lungs (Playing His Game). It feels like there's both a quiet mutual understanding but also an underlying disappointment that the game is finally over. In canon, L's death Is instead the peak of their game, the moment he gets confirmation that Light is Kira is the exact same moment that he dies. In the jdrama it's almost sudden, how L dies, after the quiet moment has already passed. But in the musical L's death, ironically, Is the one quieter moment in their game. Their peak was the game itself. It was Secrets and Lies and Playing His Game. But the end of the game in the musical is not a victory, it's just (as L says) the end of everything they'd been wanting up until this point.
Uh. Fuck it. Clip from the Kenji Urai version because I just love his delivery here. His tone just goes so well with the silence and the sound of the clock ticking. You see what I mean right.
Their rivalry in the musical may have been more shortlived but like Damn they were really enjoying every second of it. They were truly insane about each other until the very end. (Like despite everything I just said about the ending it was still unhinged as fuck. Light Making L Shoot Him and then Making L Shoot Himself with L's Own Hand?? Holy shit man. What the fuck /pos)
Musical Light and L your game might've been shorter but you'll always be famous <33 Please never inflict what you had on anyone else ever please stay in hell forever thank you
#death note#lawlight#dn#light yagami#l lawliet#death note musical#sorry this just ended up being a musical screenshot dump and also this is Extremely all over the place i'm just in love okay#btw this was all pointed out by my irl either after secrets and lies or playing his game when we watched the musical together a while ago#and i was like “OHHHHH YOURE A GENIUS ”#got reminded of this on a random whim and like. man i Love that for them actually. two freaks </3#usually i'm thinking more about the hidden sincere and tragic sides of their relationship in the other medias#but man their musical dynamic was also something special#coda analyzes stuff
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I was just thinking about how canon!merlin is basically incapable of being normal about arthur. and if they ever ended up together, I think he'd do something weird at least once at some point, like. just fucking bite arthur out of the blue while they're in bed or something. I'm not talking about a sexy bite either. I'm talking an "I've succumbed to the intrusive thoughts in my head" kind of bite. tell me I'm wrong
#I'm sorry. I don't entirely believe it either I just found the idea v funny#I'll delete this later probably#but merlin just. just chomping on arthur#for no good reason#that'd be funny#let him be weird!!#god let him be weird#he deserves it#merlin#merthur#txt
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some guesses what's in oscars letter
#all equally as likely#i think#this is awful im sorry either I'm funny or it was reeeeeaaaaalllly late#probably the latter but#malevolent#oscar malevolent#arthur lester#my art#fanart#malevolent podcast
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