#and i'm not sorry either

[cerddom]

Donna: "Wait, how exactly do you get 'Dick' from 'Richard'?"

Roy: "I'm glad you asked!"

Dick, interrupting: "You take him to dinner and buy him nice jewellery."

Wally: "Yeah, that's probably the best way...unless you don't have a gag reflex either."

Dick was a normal name in the 1950’s, but it’s 2022 now, so here’s how I immagine all of the batkids (+ some extras) reacting to Dick introducing himself.

BABS (10 years old)

Dick: My name’s dick

Babs: That’s a bad word.

Dick: No? It’s my name?

Babs: Daddy says it’s naughty to say bad words.

Dick: But it’s my name?

Babs: I’m gonna go ask daddy *runs up to commissioner Gordon* daddy, that kid says his name is Dick, can I say it when I’m talking about him?

Dick: *the son of immigrant parents, grown up speaking an amalgamation of Easter European dialects and was names after Dick Tracy still confused as to why his name is a bad word*

***

Jason

Dick: Hey buddy, I know this is all very new but my name is Dick and I—

Jason: hold up, hold up. Dick?

Dick: yeah, I know, I know but —

Jason: Damn and I thought my parents were assholes.

***

Tim

This little stalker already knew Dick’s entire biography, so there wasn’t a reaction, bless him.

***

Damian

He was brought up by assassins, also no particular reaction.

***

Steph

Dick: nice to meet you Stephanie, my name’s Dick.

Steph: you said Dick?

Dick: short for Richard, yes.

Steph: Nice. *nods*

***

Cass (Cass uses sign language because I said so)

Dick: *finger spells D I C K*

Cass: *there’s a sign for that*

Dick: yeah but we ain’t gonna use it, kiddo.

***

Wally (13 years old)

Dick: it’s so cool to meet other sidekicks! I’m Dick.

Wally: as in your name is Dick?

Dick: Yes *blushing because now he knows why everyone is reacting like it’s strange*

Wally: Ok from now on I’m gonna be the one to introduce you to anyone we meet, deal? Oh you’ll see man it’ll be so much fun *proceeds to list out all of the ways they could sneak dick jokes into conversations*

***

Roy

Wally: Roy, I have the pressure to introduce you to my Dick.

Roy: what the fuck do you mean now!?

Dick: *quadruple flips over Wally and lands in between them* ta-da!!!

Roy: who’s the kid?

Wally *placing an hand on Dick’s shoulder*: this, is my Dick

Roy: that’s your actual name?

Dick: it is.

Roy *looking between the other two*: ok I want in on your plans to introduce him to the others

————

This is all I could come up with but feel free to add more!!

[captainjonnitkessler]

You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".

Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.

[openphrase123]

comic transcribed from a conversation i had with my brother today when his joke did not land in japanese. it reminded me of them. the perils of being a bilingual funnyjokesperson

[shotmrmiller]

ghost getting himself a cute, soft girl he doesn't talk about much but is clearly obsessed with and price just thinks it's nice he's finally settled down, approves of the home he's made for himself, definitely approves of the one he's taken for himself.

soap asks kyle if he's seen you and he says, "yep. lovely bird he's got tucked away in her little dollhouse. makes great food, too." soap swears there's a subtle shift in his tone when he says "lovely", a hint of something deeper that flickers in his eyes for just a moment. soap simply sucks on his teeth, letting it slide. (although he knows that kyle's always been one to appreciate the good things in life.)

interest gnaws at him, a persistent itch he can't scratch. price likes you just fine, as does kyle. well what about him? he decides to bite the bullet and goes to simon with a knot between his brows, the corners of his lips tugged downwards. they've shared clothes, bullets, beds. if the other two got to meet you, why can't he?

"ya can come over for dinner on tonight. she'd 'ave my neck if she didn't formally meet ya anyway."

soap then asks, out of genuine curiosity more than anything else, if simon would have kept you in the dark from him hadn't he brought you up himself.

"ya meet 'er when i want ya to, boy, and not a moment before." the tone he takes is unmistakeable. his words are a command, not a suggestion, and soap instantly knows to not push further.

soap nods. "ah'll be there."

"course ya will. she'd be terribly disappointed otherwise."

yeah, he'd hate to have that.

soap sits in the living room, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm light over the cozy place. with a full stomach and an unfastened belt, nursing a glass of kentucky. he can't remember the last time he ate that well or that much.

maybe it's the alcohol that loosens his tongue, or the fact that he wishes he also had a sweet little thing to keep at his side just like simon's doing with you now, but the thoughts he's been mulling over all evening since he first saw you tumble out of his mouth.

"while ah can attest to yer taste in sweethearts, can't say much about your alcohol. bourbon, LT?" he says, chest warm.

simon's arm tightens around your hips, fingers splayed possessively over your thigh. he shrugs, completely unbothered by the backhanded compliment. "can't be perfect in everythin', can we, sergeant?"

soap's cheeks burn furiously hot when you come to his defense with a smack of your palm onto simon's chest. "be nice to johnny. he's got a face that make up for some of his other flaws."

the teasing lilt in your voice unashamedly gets his southern blood pumping. he can't help it if certain things stir when someone as pretty as you look at him like that. soap swirls the amber liquid gently in the glass while keeping his limpid eyes on you, not even trying to hide the fact that his gaze hasn't wavered since your cheeky little comment.

you then whisper something in simon's ear, your cupped hand not even half the size of his head and soap has to rearrange himself from the outside when your teeth catch your bottom lip. simon looks up at you then, eyes heavy and half lidded, and a smirk plays at the corners of his mouth.

"'m not sure, love. you'll just 'ave to ask 'im yourself. go on."

you open that sweet mouth of yours, but simon cuts you off with a decisive wave of his hand. "no. you know how to ask for things."

your reaction to that is visceral, and you're on your knees faster than his alcohol-muddled brain can comprehend. don't look down 'er shirt, don't look down 'er shirt, don't-

"johnny, will you touch my pussy?"

he splutters at your question, completely taken aback, but it seems you're not done just yet.

"hands to yourself, sergeant. tha' not all."

you pout at simon, one that earns you a look that promises consequence, but do as he says.

"will you touch my pussy, johnny? pretty please?"

[toodrunktofindaurl]

"Death's child"

twitter | bluesky | insta | 🔞 patre*n

[space-bowl]

Unconditional love.

Based on this meme, shoutout to whoever made it (I saved it a while ago so if you see this and it's you, please let me know!):

[2racoonsinajumpsuit]

objectively the correct way to enjoy them (my way)

~ happy

[anyataylorjoys]

LAST NIGHT IN SOHO (2021) dir. Edgar Wright

[bloggingboutburgers]

Sorry for the radio silence for quite a while! On top of the holidays, my visa interview at the embassy was a little while ago, so as you can imagine, I've been fairly busy preparing for it... But hey, it paid off!!

The past few years have had their fair share of trials and there's a few people who'll recognize themselves, who I wanna thank for all their patience and support. I also gotta apologize for everyone whose patience I've tested, and for all the buddies I'll get to see less often now because distance.

Overall though, I've had overwhelming support through this, more than I ever thought I'd get and more than I probably deserve, and it honestly helped a lot through what is overall a pretty damn difficult thing to get through. I'm so relieved right now and it's pretty great that that feeling is coming around for the festive season!

Now I'm off to enjoy that with my family while I'm close enough for it to be easy, and if anyone who knows me closely is reading this and wants to meet up before I leave France (which oughta be in April), hit me up ;)

[royalarchivist]

Fit: Oh yeah, the great outdoors! All we need is a can of beans, and we'll have a good time.

Phil: There's two empty seats, I can't remember what– who they're for though. [Snorts then leans off-screen and laughs]

Fit: [Slowly realizes what Phil said] ...No. No. No. No! No! NO! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS RIGHT NOW! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS, PHIL. Ok? We are not doing this.

Sneeg: Do you wanna talk about it...?

Phil: [Continues laughing]

Fit: No man, this- this man thinks trauma is funny. He thinks trauma is funny– He thinks interpersonal emotional trauma is funny! Yeah, we're all laughing, Phil. We're all laughing. Yeah– [Monotone voice] "Hahaha! So funny." So funny. So funny.

Sneeg: Alright, bro. Why don't you go–

Fit: Gaslight girlboss, right? Yeah, that's what we do, that's what we do.

Phil: Oh my god– [Exhales and laughs] That tickled me, that was a good one. Uh, right–

[tubbytarchia]

[its-mayo0]

Im bbbaaackk

[aziraphales-ineffable-bookshop]

Crowley wearing a pronoun pin that changes what pronouns it shows each time someone looks at it and everyone around him wants to be respectful and are understanding of the fact that people can change which pronouns they use/have multiple pronouns but at the same time they could have sworn the pin said she/her like two seconds ago and now it's he/they and a blink later it's he/him. Everyone thinks they are hallucinating. Crowley is a nuisance and he loves it. Aziraphale is fondly exasperated.

[rika-mortis]

You think Dale remembers Timmy? Also, does Timmy call Dale out for his neglect of Dev? I feel like after living with his parents neglect for so long, he wouldn't tolerate that bs

I like to think that he did! Though when it comes to Timmy calling him out for being a terrible father, I can think of four possible possibilities from worst to best outcome:

1) Dale straight up doesn't care as he sees Dev just as an "asset" to him and absolutely doesn't see anything wrong with that. ( I can see this outcome especially if the Dev clone theory is true ) That or he would always change the subject every time Timmy tries to bring out that problem.

2) Dale would tell Timmy that he didn't actually neglect Dev and did spend his time with him when he's less busy ( which is a lie and Timmy can obviously see that ) He probably would come up with more excuses like he already gives his son devices that give him everything he wants, which should be enough to take care of him for Dale.

Though I also can imagine him asking Timmy if he can take care of Dev while he's doing his own thing, which I guess is better than Dale asking Timmy if he wants Dale to hire a human babysitter for his son instead since the Au Pairs isn't good enough to provide care for Dev apparently.

3) Dale took Timmy's words about him being neglectful to his son and promised Timmy that he would try to fix that and be a better father......as long as Timmy is around them.

This causes Dale's relationship with Dev to be rather shallow than genuine, as clearly he's only doing this because of Timmy. Perhaps it would take a while until Dev realizes that as well and breaks his heart further.

4) Dale took Timmy's words to heart and ACTUALLY becomes a better father to Dev holyshit (delusional)

Either way, I can see Timmy being rightfully frustrated with how Dale treats his own son but can't really do much about it due to some reasons, like maybe it could jeopardize his career or maybe he couldn't see a positive outcome for that. He probably would bring Dev out with him sometimes when he could, and try to give him a childhood he couldn't have with his own dad.

[femmesandhoney]

I do think the female boxer who got absolutely shit on by the entire world deserves an apology still

[coddda]

Everyone knows that Light and L matched each other's freak but I think their dynamic in the musical (the Japanese ver specifically) is underrated. Like it's not super different from canon but they just had this extra edge of Violence that we never quite saw from the more methodical and careful mindgames in canon death note and I think it's great. Like, yes, they did declare in canon that they will bring each other to justice, yes L says he wants to send Kira to his execution, but in the lyrics of the musical they both outright say multiple times that they just want to straight up Kill each other. It's direct the whole way through. There's more mutual contempt. This game is about nothing more than simply being the first one to Kill the Other (they actually use the word "殺し合い" (koroshiau) or "to kill each other" to describe their game (translated as "murderous ... game")).

(Sidenote but all those references about wanting to send each other to Hell?? Beautiful)

Yeah this is a battle of justice and ideals, yes that clash is a key part of their final confrontation at the end of the musical, but throughout their duets (or even songs like The Game Begins where they're singing by themselves) there's this near singleminded desire to just fucking End each other. It's fucking Raw and it's great.

Also THIS FUCKING SCENE?? THIS SCENE FROM SECRETS AND LIES. Iconic. Actually Insane. My jaw dropped. Light looks like a crazy bitch it's beautiful.

Um. Also. Obligatory Playing His Game (yknow the gay sex song) lines dump. It basically says everything I just said above in like 9 lines. You see what I mean right.

In canon they're playing a game of mental chess, trying to use everyone around them to finally catch the other as their end goal, but in the musical you really do feel like all they see is each other. They would probably beat each other to death with their fists if it came down to that. Idk they're just so excited and fired up about their little game in the musical and it's so unhinged and fun and special and I love it. It's like the writers for the musical decided to kick their murderous intent up a couple notches and the result is absolutely Beautiful.

I also think that the intensity of their rivalry in the beginning just makes the wind-down of The Way It Ends soo much better. It's such a good contrast to their previous duets where they try to sing over each other (Secrets and Lies & Stalemate) or with each other but basically at the top of their lungs (Playing His Game). It feels like there's both a quiet mutual understanding but also an underlying disappointment that the game is finally over. In canon, L's death Is instead the peak of their game, the moment he gets confirmation that Light is Kira is the exact same moment that he dies. In the jdrama it's almost sudden, how L dies, after the quiet moment has already passed. But in the musical L's death, ironically, Is the one quieter moment in their game. Their peak was the game itself. It was Secrets and Lies and Playing His Game. But the end of the game in the musical is not a victory, it's just (as L says) the end of everything they'd been wanting up until this point.

Uh. Fuck it. Clip from the Kenji Urai version because I just love his delivery here. His tone just goes so well with the silence and the sound of the clock ticking. You see what I mean right.

Their rivalry in the musical may have been more shortlived but like Damn they were really enjoying every second of it. They were truly insane about each other until the very end. (Like despite everything I just said about the ending it was still unhinged as fuck. Light Making L Shoot Him and then Making L Shoot Himself with L's Own Hand?? Holy shit man. What the fuck /pos)

Musical Light and L your game might've been shorter but you'll always be famous <33 Please never inflict what you had on anyone else ever please stay in hell forever thank you