#and i'm not saying for one second that because of this post no one should ever watch black lightning

[alpacaradio]

There really is no excuse. Taken with much generosity, its constant discussion of transmisandry is coming from a place of hurt - but as soon as it's talking about trans women, you can immediately tell that OP has never really understood one.

I've never met a trans woman who hasn't grappled deeply with the expectations of masculinity on her and indeed often that very thing led her to identify her own womanhood. I found my own way to recognizing who I am through grappling with the expectations on me and how uncomfortable I was with them!

It was a role that I always implicitly rejected and was uncomfortable with. This story is so common I think it more likely than not you've heard it if you know even a single trans woman. To know many and not be deeply familiar with it seems ... almost impossible. I can only conclude that the OP hasn't really listened.

And in all of this, "if transmascs need to sit for hours and unlearn transmisogyny, fine. but" but nothing at all, because you clearly haven't done the work to put anything after that sentence making demands of a community. You're talking about us like you've done the work to really know and understand trans women, and you've even appealed to multiple evil tranny behaviors, behaviors I've literally never seen from any trans woman, to the point where I think the problem is mostly you.

It is so easy to see that so much of what is in genderqueerdyke's response is specific issues with specific trans women being projected onto an entire community, including so many things which are obviously a consequence of simply not listening to or refusing to believe us.

Yes! I know sex workers, too! Yes, our bodies are constantly fetishized for our maleness even though we are not male. And yes, there are clients who seek out trans women specifically seeing us as men. We're surrounded by chasers. What I find surprising is not that a sex worker you knew had clients who told her they were attracted to her for her maleness, but that you refused to believe her, because I'd say it's more likely than not that any trans woman who's ever done sex work has been told that very thing. But you refuse to believe the things women have told you, and so you put doubt on that part of our experience too. You had to make our lived experience sound impossible, so that describing our experiences sounds like bigotry rather than fact.

I'm so annoyed I popped into second person, but I do not really want to talk to it at all. I don't want it to talk to me or anyone else; I want it to stop talking about trans women entirely until it can fucking believe even one of us and not talk over us and decide our experiences for us.

Any time someone says, "I need to unlearn X? Fine, but" your hackles should be raised. This is someone that really should not be trying to speak about the community of trans women.

I guess this is something the community has generally known about Equinox, but damn, this isn't a mistake or something you can just apologize for; this is evidence of an entire way of thinking that underlies every rant I've ever seen about transmisandry. How am I supposed to believe any differently when I've only ever seen it post through all of this and never really actually grapple with it? How are we supposed to get "solidarity" when solidarity means putting up with the abuse of being bombarded with this belief system the moment we let our guard down? the moment we're comfortable with ourselves? @genderqueerdykes is not someone who can truly be in community with me, and I think not someone to feel comfortable around as a trans woman. If I were its friend I would hold my cards damn close to my chest.

Pretend you didn't see that.

This is a level of transmisogyny that is somewhat hard to comment on because the things that one would normally point out as transmisogynistic implications are said so brazenly that there can be no pretense about any of the involved parties being unaware of it. The authors know, the readers know, everybody understands that this is pure transmisogyny. There is no plausible deniability.

It's an attempt to establish proximity between transfems and cis manhood in every way possible. Their bodies, their histories, their "socialization", the way they are treated by others, the way they treat and view others, their ways of thinking, even their self-conception. Every aspect of their being is cast as essentially male. Transfems are being called "men" in all but name - and not just any "men", they are made into embodiments of the worst aspects of hegemonic manhood. Not just male socialized but continuing to benefit from male socialization. Not just engaging in abusive behaviors stemming from male socialization but being afforded the freedom to do so because they continue to be treated as men. (Suffice it to say that this does not align with reality)

This is unadulterated sex-essentialism and it's intentionally being used to delegitimize and devalue the standpoint of transfems in feminist discourses. It's clear that the author is projecting transmisogynist ideas onto transfems and simply assumes that these ideas must be correct without considering any alternative. (The fact that transfems do not internalize "male socialization" has been reiterated many times over and should not have to be continually reasserted. This is a baseline level of understanding that we should be able to expect and demand from members of our community.)

Misogyny is framed as being contained within the realms of sexed bodies and gendered socialization in such a way that it allows for the casting of transfems as people enacting misogyny without being primary targets themselves - like cis men.

The claim that the animosity some transfems exhibit towards men comes from wanting to "prove" their womanhood serves the double purpose of casting their womanhood as inauthentic and denying the misogyny they suffer at the hands of men. One would be hard pressed to find a more cruel mischaracterization of transfems' experiences than this.

The cynical misappropriation of the standpoint of the people this screed is directed at by the use of "we" despite making it abundantly clear that the behavior that is being criticized and its supposed causes exempt people such as the author from the possibility of engaging in it should also be noted as an attempt at weaponizing a compromised version of standpoint epistemology against transfems.

The only plausible target audience for this kind of rhetoric are those who carry extreme ressentiment towards transfems and are susceptible to softened formulations of TERF ideology. These are the same kinds of ideas that TERFs have tried to push into trans spaces numerous times, e.g. under names like "sex-conscious feminsim".

A formulaic "retreat" from this post consisting entirely of platitudes has been published after the author received backlash for it but nobody is under any obligation to accept it and they absolutely should not. A person who was very obviously attempting to promote TERF ideology in trans spaces and in the same stroke accused transfems of being uniquely prone to making false accusations is not trustworthy, even if that person backs down upon realizing that the reception is more uniformly negative than anticipated.

@genderqueerdykes @gateway-2000 is a transmisogynist, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Its entire worldview is permeated by transmisogynistic assumptions, ideas and biases at a fundamental level. It has straightforwardly expressed an understanding of transfems' interiorities, their experiences and their social positions that is so incorrect that one has to wonder how someone holding these views could have navigated trans communities for a considerable amount of time without encountering the many transfeminist rebuttals to all of its demagoguery. How could someone with even a passing level of familiarity with TERF ideology or "gender critical feminism" read and espouse these ideas without recognizing them? It's completely unthinkable. It's not unreasonable to assume that it simply misjudged the consensus within its audience as being sufficiently anti-transfeminist for ideas such as these to fall upon fertile ground and it is now going back to waiting until the time is ripe to reintroduce them and to expressing them in more subtle ways until then.

But you can't un-ring a bell.

We can and should assert boundaries against reactionaries engaging in obvious subversion such as this. Refusing to do so is a deleterious error in judgement. This is very far beyond the limits of what any trans community that wants to consider transfems a part of itself can be allowed to tolerate.

[utilitycaster]

i am so curious what you think about fearne as a character, especially in the full context of this campaign, and how she ranks in terms of contributing good storytelling. she was consistently my least favorite (ie., lovely and entertaining to watch, but not personally interesting or dimensional in a way that made me care, and more often than not, frustratingly avoidant of plot or depth) and i'm wondering how much you'd relate to that. i'm interested in hearing an alternate perspective! this is an invitation for as much of your thoughts as you have them, because i love reading your posts and meta. have a great day <3

Hey anon, thank you!

I find myself in an awkward place here because I do like Fearne for a couple reasons, and I think a major one is because I think Ashley is one of the only people at the table who actually explored, in-character, that Fearne was an indecisive person who was terrified of making the wrong choices (notably during both the aftermath of the first Otohan fight, and during the whole course of Shardgate). Like, Fearne's disconnect at times from the world, and moments of self-centeredness, and indecision all felt very true to Ashley's original concept both in EXU Prime and the general concept of fey morality. I also think that in a campaign with a number of fraught familial relationships that were underserved, Fearne's was, while still not given the time I wish it had been, one of the strongest. Fearne deciding, after meeting her missing parents, that she wasn't sure if she liked them felt very earned and true, and it felt like she put in the work when she later spoke to them during the party's time resting in the Feywild.

I also give Fearne something of a pass because I think she was put in perhaps the least enviable spot of all this campaign, and that's saying something. While I think pretty much every character would have been much, much better had we focused more on their backstory and exploring and resolving that, Ashley's intended darker fairytale concept was just...abandoned. Like we got Ligament Manor and Morri, and they were great! But there was no plot for her in the feywild other than "your parents are caught up in this moon thing, and your birth father is also caught up in this moon thing". The first part came up very early and got quickly overshadowed by the rest of the whole Bassuras pile-up, and the second part came out right before the Ruidus scouting mission and was perhaps one of the worst victims of the late campaign breakneck pacing. Honestly, a lot of the feywild stuff felt oddly insubstantial - we know that breaking the fey key apparently did something, and that breaking up the meeting in Pravenier prevented Fey allies from attacking Vox Machina at the key in the end (though it's hard to say exactly what that would have entailed), but like...was the Seelie Court working in opposition? Were there any extraplanar allies in the Accord? Was the Feywild at risk here, as Ollie believed it to be? Because it never entered into Bells Hells' considerations! All the Feywild plot threads just went nowhere. Even their greatest fey ally, Ira, was far more motivated by his own dislike of Ludinus than any loyalty to Fearne; the party didn't really need to cultivate him as an ally, he just showed up.

And then, of course, there's the fact that Fearne was a Ruidusborn, but she wasn't THE Ruidusborn, she wasn't exaltant, that was Imogen - and the cool thing she did get, the spark of Rau'shan, was a great moment but was, like Ashton's titan abilities, mechanical and some cool scenes only but not relevant to Predathos in a meaningful way any more so than like, Chetney's ability to turn into a wolf was. I don't even think Ashley was being particularly indecisive, or rather, the Zathuda and Yu "should we kill them or no" scenes were excruciating in the lack of decision, but I feel that the problem was she was given absolutely nothing to fucking work with and that's not her fault. I think it's a testament to Ashley's ability as an actor that I do feel she had depth and even a little character development because she was essentially pushed into a thankless second fiddle role. When I think of the people who actually made an effort to do small solo scenes or seek other people out, Fearne praying to the Wildmother or Raven Queen and pickpocketing scenes stand out as bright spots.

So I think it's valid to be frustrated or not vibe, but I think it's entirely a DM-ing problem. This campaign was really not made to accommodate Fearne's concept.

[shatcey]

Victor theories. Contradictions and links

This is probably the last part of my theories about Vivi before his route came out. Most likely, they have nothing to do with reality, which we will see pretty soon. I will kill someone if Cybird release someone from Vogel first. Do you hear that, Cybird? I'll buy tamagotchi and kill it!!!!! You don't want that, do you? Poor defenseless little creature…

When I read other theories and events about Vivi, I had some thoughts, but I haven't finished them, haven't put them together, and… I think it's finally time to do it properly.

I should probably add warnings. I'm mentioning the details of Alfons and Harrison's routes. And also provide fragments of events that had not yet been in the EN game (only in JP). And… a bit about Azel's route (but I'm warning you about this, and you can easily skip to the next part without reading).

There were many events with Vivi. I made a list when started preparing for this post… Not all of them contain anything that I can use within the described boundaries, but they all provide few or many hints. So… it took some time to check. I hope I didn't miss anything.

If so… remind me, and I'll make one more "last post"… it becomes an endless story.

His personality

@maladaptivedaydreamsx assumed that Victor isn't his real name, but was given to him because of Queen. I thought about that as well. As I mentioned here, Victor thinks of himself in quotation marks, as if it's not his real name, but a role he's playing. And that actually sounds pretty fitting. On the surface, he's a cheerful and positive, with a sweet, mama-type vibe. But when we read the stories from his perspective, he feels completely different. Very dark and even scary. His thoughts show how much he notices and thinks before making any decisions, how much of a calculating bastard he really is (lovingly). But is his cheerful side a role he's playing? Or is it just part of his personality? From the Bond story "The Other Side"

and kiss event...

Victor insists that this is just a part of him. And I'm inclined to believe.

There is a theory that Victor is actually immortal. @.reccyls mentioned this here last time. And this theory is possible. Not only because Victor is so determined to treat all the members of Crown and Kate like children. But also because of this Willy's remark from the 1st Victor's birthday

There are two possibilities that Willy could be hinting at.

The first… Vivi is a god. The God of death.

But… this may have a different meaning. Vivi is very closed to God or any other immortal being. Vivi often talks about death as a living creature. Perhaps the fact that he is a "constant companion of death" makes him a kind of expert in this matter.

And that's why I tend to think that the second option is closer to the truth. It's from the very beginning of the same 1st birthday.

Yes, Harry often says that Victor lies a lot, but I don't think that applies to this situation. The wording is very strange. He doesn't seem happy about this fact. Like… "I wish I had more time". Maybe it's just me.

Oh, I forgot about another option. Vivi could have been a god, but now he's a human. This explains why he's so annoyed by the fact that he needs to sleep. Hmmm… I like that option.

If assumed he's a very old and powerful being… who, despite this, has not lost interest in life as such and can still find joy in it (reminds of someone, right?). How did the Queen manage to get him as her aid? A contract? We have another Black butler?

And if everyone thinks of him as a very strong person, then no one will ever assume that he needs anything. No one ever considers him human. This thought crossed my mind when I talked about the Mirror event, but I decided not to voice it. But… what the hell… this is the last post, where else should I talk about it?

It was the same with Azel (if you haven't read his route and don't want spoilers, skip right to the next point). People didn't see him as a human being, they only asked for help, advice, and so on… In their eyes, he was only giving, after all, he is God. But… this is a rather selfish way of thinking. Even if a person seems completely independent and strong, and… perfect… this doesn't mean that he has nothing to wish. I can easily imagine Vivi in this concept. And that explains why he was so surprised when Kate said she liked helping him or taking care of him. This has never happened before.

But he doesn't have to be an immortal being for people to consider him inhuman. He succeeds in everything he does, and people may think that he doesn't need anyone's help.

His contradictions

Kate described him very accurately at a Drunk event, translated by @.reccyls.

I would also add that he takes care of the garden and himself (see how his hair is… it's a lot of work, you know) and it looks like he's sleeping normally. My baby Ally has dark circles under her eyes due to lack of sleep. But Vivi… there is no such thing. So… Yes, he really seems like the perfect person.

But behind every great accomplishment is a lot of hard work. We don't know what it is… he just has a habit of using every second of his life to the fullest, or… a kind of magic. But he really does a lot, and… I can understand why he wants to… relax sometimes. He can't admit it for some reason (pride or some restrictions) but he wants to anyway. And at the same Drunken event, he tricked Kate into putting his head in her lap and hugging her. As if he needed a reason for that. It feels like he's constantly preventing himself from doing what he wants to do. At the very end of Butler's event ("Your Hand, My Lady" translated by @.reccyls) Willy hints at this...

He's happy because Victor is FINALLY doing what he wants to do.

I got the impression that curse of the boys is a sick joke of fate. It is contrary to their true nature. Like a absolutely honest and straightforward Harrison have to lie because his curse forces him to do so. Or Ally, who wanted only one thing in life... to be remembered, and the curse did not allow him to got this. So I see the same contradiction in Victor's behavior… is his curse. He is literally obsessed with the idea of freedom. And the way he lives makes it seem like he's not free at all. And his desire to get something for himself sometimes is like getting some fresh air before he finds himself back in the dusty tunnels… He literally doesn't do ANYTHING for himself, he doesn't even ask others for anything. This is from the 2nd Cristmas event, translated by @.reccyls.

And this is from bond's story "About Freedom"

Despite the fact, he joked afterwards that he is as free as the wind. In this phrase, he said "I", not "you" or "people" in general. I'm sorry, Vivi, but I don't believe you're free. In fact, you've probably never been. That's why you dream about it. And it's a little sad.

Connections with the Queen

The bond between Vivi and the Queen is very strong and mysterious. He is absolutely devoted to her and literally does everything she says. But how long has he been doing this? Why does he feel like he belongs to her? As he told William at the very end of Butler event ("Your Hand, My Lady" translated by @.reccyls.

The first thing that comes to mind is the Black Butler. Sebas demonstrates absolute dedication without asking questions. And he is a demon who is devoted to man. Actually Vivi said at the first Christmas event (Wreck the halls) that he had made a deal with death…

Perhaps it has something to do with the Queen. I'm not saying that the Queen is the Death (we never know for sure), but the way he's devoted to her, and the way he convinced that the connection with death is not so easy to break, seems somehow similar. Indestructible.

@.velisle has posted a really huge post with facts and theories about Vivi… I added my thoughts here. There was a theory… That's the kid Victor talked about at the Secrets event…

...In fact, he is.

But there are two things that prevent me from thinking that way. The first… he doesn't know if the Queen could make them smiles. If he was that kid, he would know that.

And the second. If we assume that he is not a vampire or another magical creature that lives exceptionally long (or endless), then it is quite difficult to imagine. The calculation is simple. The game takes place around 1890. And the queen begins to rule in 1837. More than 50 years have passed since. And Victor looks like he's 40 at the most. So… He's NOT that kid, but… it could have been his parent or… an older sibling. Or… even someone related to Kate. I wouldn't be surprised if the developers link them so tightly.

@rou-luxe assumed that Victor made a promise to the Queen many years ago and continue fulfill it. It seems very correct, but at the same time not quite. No matter how much you like sticking to your promise, at some point you will feel tired or pressured to keep it. But here… he does it willingly, even with joy. So my idea… he is very grateful to the Queen. As if she had saved his life or given him a new life that he wouldn't have been able to get otherwise. This brings me back to my previous thought. That the Queen is not really human. But she is… at least the real Queen Victoria, who lived and died (which makes her a normal person). If it's just gratitude, then what exactly did she do for him to get him for a lifetime? This is… THE question!

Connections with Crown boys

We know that Vivi and Willy immediately clicked on the common desire to free people. The way we were shown Vivi's cursed ability (as I mentioned in a previous theory post) is somewhat similar to Willy's. I'll just add this part from the 1st birthday story.

We will not talk about that this is technically impossible to strangle yourself. Don't try to prove me wrong, check on Google.

The fact remains… Vivi orders the man to die or Death to take him away. But for some reason, his victim feels happy to follow this order.

It doesn't matter how, but the cursed ability of both of them (Victor and William) deprive a person of freedom. So… no wonder they understand each other so well, they literally went through the same struggles.

I don't think Vivi is particularly kind to Harry just because of his reaction (which is always so good). But also because he feels a little guilty about the death of Harry's father. He did not predict, did not find out, did not fix the problem in time. Yes, Vivi claims that he is not a kind, but rather an evil person, but he is a good teammate, he respects and helps all his partners. And he and Marco had a good team… From a distance, completely ignoring each other… but in the end, they really help each other a lot. So Vivi may feel guilty for missing something.

I didn't notice any special treatment for anyone else at the Crown. Well… Kate is an exception. But I would like to talk about her separately.

Connections with Kate

First the facts. Victor dragged Kate to the Crown because he thought it would help the boys. From his 1st birthday.

He said (will say) the same thing in the 1st anniversary (my summary). He thought she would change something. What does he think needs to be changed? He used a rather interesting phrase in 1st birthday...

Usually, when he said something like that, it's "succumb to your wickedness". Vivi often say that when he sends the boys to work. Did he assume that Kate would help them become better at their work? Is it related to work at all? Maybe about their course? Maybe it's about understanding themselves better? Or… about something completely different? But I tend to think he was looking for a way to combine them together.

They're all pretty strong and independent, they don't have much in common, they literally split into several groups, and he wanted to find a reason to unite them into one team. It's a very noble cause. He would probably reject such an idea as not fitting his wicked nature. Why do my favorite boys try to argue with me when I say good things about them? They're so weird.

But there's something he doesn't want her to know. Again from the 1st birthday...

It feels like he's afraid. It feels like he's been through something and doesn't want to make the same mistake again. Or he's constantly fighting… probably with his own curse… which forces him to do something to her (remember that his curse contradicts his essence). Vivi says something about it at the 1st Christmas event. This darkness demands that he stains her and whisks her away (I wrote about it here).

But his expectations of Kate really came true. She really brought change. And she even changed him. This is from his 2nd birthday story translated by @.reccyls.

It already looks like we're in the middle of his route. He feels that he is becoming less like an observer, he feels that he wants more for himself.

And now my assumptions, which, in fact, are based on nothing at all

The only thing we can be sure about is a kiss on the forehead. It was mentioned twice (I talked about it at the kiss event). The fact that Kate mentioned it twice means that developers are most likely to use it on one of the main routes. It could be Darius or someone we don't know about yet, but I think… that it's Victor. And it's not just his reaction to that kiss that makes me think so. But the DARK IF event.

I know it's an alternate world, but… the essence of the characters is the same, and it's quite interesting to imagine his main route through the prism of this event. Vivi's story hasn't been released yet, but in the second part of the event, there was a story for 95k points, and it's gorgeous. Translated by @.reccyls.

And this part is from a letter from this event. Not quite, but let's put it this way. Translated by @.reccyls.

The one and only. The soulmates. Actually, this theme is very strong at this event, and maybe I shouldn't even focus on it. But… for some reason, this concept seems very fitting for Vivi. The Vivi we know from Victorian London. And I really like to see this theme on at least one route in this game. Why not on Victor's, right?

So… my theory… Victor and Kate met when Kate was still a child. We haven't determined whether Victor is human or not, so I won't talk about him, but Kate was a child and witnessed something very bad. Something that could easily break the psyche for life. Victor solved the problem and kissed her on the forehead… and that's literally the only thing she remembers. It was probably just a short meeting, but for some reason they both remembered it. And now… after all these years, they meet again because they are destined to be together… I got goosebumps.

I think we should expect a second Tamamo route. With the "I want to be your friend so you won't be alone". They will work together, but this time she will help him with his work, and someone from his past will appear. Don't tell me he was a king as well… Thatever. And… so the hot scene will only be after the last avatar challenge (or even only in the epilogues).

Dark times are ahead... Patience to all of us.

@ethereal-blossom, Michelle, dear, I haven't found how to use your theories… my brain is burning up a bit after two days of thinking. But I'd like you to look at it. Maybe you could point out my mistakes or would like to add something. You know I'm always happy to read your thoughts.

The design of the spikelet on the dividers I took from Designed by Freepik

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🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝

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[jungkoode]

OFF-LABELS | O4

→ PAIRING : Med Student!Hoseok x F!Reader (Brother’s Best Friend AU)

→ RATING: Mature, 18+, suggestive tones.

→ DATE POSTED: February 16th, 2025.

→ SUMMARY: You’ve spent four years convincing yourself that your brother’s best friend is just being nice when he remembers your coffee order, quizzes you on neuroanatomy, or lets his touch linger a second too long. Because there’s no way that the golden boy of Seoul National’s medical program might actually be flirting with you. Especially when he keeps saying things that could be perfectly innocent… if only he didn’t say them in that voice.

→ TAGS: second person perspective, female reader, medical school au, brother’s best friend trope, age gap (4 years), pining, touch starved, overthinking reader, confident hoseok, gentle dom hoseok, medical terminology as flirting (lmao), study sessions, domestic moments, innocent (but not really), plausible deniability king hoseok, anxiety, internal monologue, guilty crushes, subtle teasing, emotional edging, gentle manipulation, praise kink undertones, intellectual attraction, competency kink, hand fixation, voice kink, medical intern hoseok, first year med student reader, home setting, casual intimacy, unresolved sexual tension (for now), secret attraction, nervous rambling, self-doubt, intrusive thoughts, anatomy lessons with ulterior motives, competent hoseok, flustered reader, close proximity, accidental touches that aren’t accidents, virgin!reader.

→ CONTENT in this chapter: Hoseok being dangerously thorough with medical demonstrations, vagus nerve "research" that's definitely just for science, medical terminology as foreplay, tongue depressors used for educational purposes (obviously), running into him at home after avoiding him for weeks, and getting cornered with the softest threats imaginable. | medical examination kink, medical equipment, tongue depressors, medical demonstrations, oral fixation, authority kink, power dynamics, educational roleplay, avoidance to attraction, running clothes, post-workout tension, soft threats, vadal nerve stimulation, clinical setting, hospital scenes, medical authority, vagus nerve, autonomic responses.

→ MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQ | WORDCOUNT: 2k

→ MINI SERIES: NEXT | PREVIOUS

→ A/N: You ever write something and think "maybe I should go to church"? Yeah. So. This happened. Apparently my brain decided "what if we took medical equipment and made it unholy?" Dedicated to everyone who's ever had an attractive medical professional tell them to "open wide" and died a little inside. Also thanks to my one (1) med student friend who had to answer way too many questions about vagus nerve testing without knowing why I was asking. I'm so sorry.

PLAYLIST

The fluorescent lights hum overhead as you hover outside Room 317, clutching the neurology textbook to your chest like armor. 

You shouldn’t be here.  

Caleb’s text still glows on your phone screen:  

𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫: 𝙷𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚘𝚔 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚟𝚊𝚐𝚞𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚙𝚎𝚛. 𝙶𝚘 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚝 𝚂𝙽𝚄𝙷.

You count the ceiling tiles (twelve) before knocking.   

The room smells like antiseptic and the bergamot tea he drinks during night shifts.  

“Chip.” Hoseok doesn’t look up from the EKG strip he’s analyzing, surgical penlight tucked behind his ear. “You’re blocking the light.”  

You sidestep the portable otoscope charging by the door. The space is all sharp edges—stainless steel cabinets, framed diplomas, his white coat draped over the back of a chair still warm from his body.  

“Page 214,” he says, sliding your marked-up paper across the desk. Red ink bleeds through the margins. Insufficient clinical correlation circles your thesis on autonomic nervous system responses.  

Your throat tightens. “I cited six studies—”  

“Case studies aren’t lived experience.” He finally meets your eyes, thumb brushing the penlight. “You can’t quantify a gag reflex through PubMed.”   

The air shifts when he stands.  

“Sit.” He nods to the exam table, its crinkled paper sheet protesting as you perch on the edge.  

“I’m not your patient,” you say too quickly.  

His laugh is all teeth. “Would you prefer I bill your insurance?”  

The overhead exam light clicks on. You flinch at the sudden brightness.  

“Relax.” His knuckle grazes your jawline as he adjusts the lamp. “Just demonstrating research methodology.”  

He rolls the stool closer, knees bracketing yours.

“Let’s say…” His penlight traces the column of your throat, the cool beam skimming over your pulse point. “You wanted empirical data on vagus nerve stimulation.”

Your traitorous pulse jumps under the light.

“Theoretical,” you rasp.

“Mm.” The stool creaks as he leans in. “Hypothetically—if a patient claimed nausea—” A flicker of movement, then the glint of polished steel between his fingers. A tongue depressor. “—would you take their word for it? Or verify with a hands-on assessment?”

His meaning is clinical. Technically. In medical exams, the vagus nerve can be tested by pressing a tongue depressor against the back of the throat, triggering the gag reflex. A strong response might suggest hypersensitivity. A weak or absent one? Neurological impairment.

But that’s not what he’s asking. Not really.

The textbook slides from your lap, thudding against the floor.

His thumb finds the hinge of your jaw, applying just enough pressure to tilt your head back.

“You need proper mentorship,” he murmurs.

“Mentorship.” The word barely forms.

“Mm. Palatal anatomy. Gag reflex modulation.” His nail scrapes the tender skin behind your earlobe, where the auricular branch of the vagus nerve lies—just another pressure point, another test. “Essential for any aspiring neurologist.”

Overhead, the Code Blue alarm blares—a real emergency, somewhere beyond this room. Neither of you move.

“This is—”

“Academic?” He tilts your chin up with the tongue depressor, just shy of pressure. “Ethically sanctioned? Necessary for your… what was it? Comprehensive understanding of brain-gut axis pathways?”

Your own citation, thrown back at you, laced with velvet implication.

His pager vibrates against the desk. 

A reminder. A warning.

“Well, Chip?” He pockets the device, but his eyes never leave your mouth. “D’you want to practice?”

Somewhere down the hall, a defibrillator charges. The crash cart rattles past the door. And you—

You’re already nodding, fingers curling in the paper sheet as he snaps fresh gloves over those surgeon’s hands.

“For science,” you whisper.

His smile cuts through the antiseptic air. “Naturally.”

"Open." His voice is clinically detached as he positions the tongue depressor. "Wider."

You comply, heart thundering as he leans closer to examine your oral cavity. The exam light catches his glasses, making his expression unreadable.

"Good girl. Now stick your tongue out—just like that." His free hand steadies your chin. "Interesting. Your tongue control is quite developed."

Heat floods your face. You try to respond but can't with your mouth open.

"Shh. Focus on breathing through your nose." His thumb traces your jawline. "We'll start shallow. See how much you can take before the reflex triggers."

The metal slides deeper.

"Swallow for me."

You do, fighting the urge to gag.

"Again." His voice stays perfectly level. "Notice how your throat accommodates the intrusion? That's neuroplasticity at work."

Your thighs press together involuntarily. He continues as if he hasn't noticed.

"Most people choke at this depth. But you..." The depressor ventures further. "Remarkable control. Have you practiced this before?"

You make a strangled sound of denial.

"Breathing's irregular," he notes. "Try to relax your throat. Yes—just like that. Let it slide deeper."

Your hands grip the hem of your shirt as saliva pools in your mouth.

"Fascinating response." His tone remains purely academic. "The stimulation is triggering excess secretion. Perfectly natural biological reaction."

Your face burns hotter. There's no way he doesn't notice how you're squirming.

He glances down—just once—at where your thighs are clenched together. A gentle smile curves his lips.

"Tell me, Chip..." The words float soft as gauze. "Do you always get this wet during medical examinations?"

Your eyes go wide.

"Excess salivation," he clarifies, innocent as morning. "It's a common autonomic response to oral stimulation. Though yours seems... particularly robust."

The paper crinkles beneath you as you shift.

"We should document this," he muses. "For research purposes, of course."

The depressor glints under clinical light as he presses it deeper.  

“Don’t fight it,” he murmurs, thumb settling at the corner of your mouth. “Relax your epiglottis.”  

You try. You try. But all you taste is sterile metal and the faint salt of his skin where his thumbprint ghosts your lower lip. His thighs tighten imperceptibly against yours, a human vise steadying your traitorous tremors.  

“There we go.” His voice drops to a velvet hush, the kind nurses use with combative dementia patients. “Good girl.”  

Your pulse thrums where his thumb rests—so close to slipping past your teeth, so close to feeling the heat of your tongue. 

His nail catches on the swell of your lip, dragging downward as if testing pliancy.  

“Fascinating,” he murmurs, though you’re not sure what he’s referring to anymore—the depressor sinking another fraction of an inch, or the way your throat flutters around it. “Your vagal response is… delayed.”  

You whimper.  

He cocks his head, penlight sweeping across your uvula. “Pain?”  

You shake your head minutely, terrified to dislodge his thumb.  

“Discomfort?”  

Another shake.  

“Then what?”  

The question hangs between you, syrupy and dangerous. 

His thumb presses harder, blanching the pink of your lip white. You can’t tell if he’s pushing the depressor or if your body is pulling it deeper, some primal part of you craving the stretch.  

His exhale ghosts your cheek. “Saliva production’s increased thirty percent since we began.”  

You’re drowning in it—a slick, shameful pool gathering under your tongue, threatening to spill.  

“Swallow.”  

You obey, throat working around cold steel.  

“Again.”  

The third time, a bead escapes the corner of your mouth. His thumb swipes it away before it can fall, the pad rough against your chin.  

“Remarkable,” he breathes, rotating the depressor slowly. “No gag yet. How far do you think—”  

His glasses slip.  

It’s barely noticeable—a millimeter descent along the bridge of his nose—but his whole body stills. 

For one fractured second, you swear his demeanor falters: pupils blown black behind smudged lenses, lips pressed into a bloodless line, tendons standing rigid in his neck.  

Then he’s back—gentle, smiling, Hoseok—retracting the depressor with a soft click.  

“Clumsy me,” he chuckles, adjusting his frames. “Should’ve used the head strap.”  

You don’t mention how his hand shakes. You don’t mention the splintered wood where he gripped the depressor too hard.  

You must be imagining things.

You must be making correlations where there’s none.

He checks his pager, all brisk professionalism. “Duty calls. You did well today, Chip.”  

Chip. The nickname now lands between your thighs.  

You nod, swiping at your damp chin. His gaze follows the movement, lingering on your glistening fingers.  

“Here.” He offers a tissue—crisp, folded—with a smile that crinkles his eyes. “For the salivation.”  

You take it. He doesn’t let go immediately, fingertips brushing yours.  

“We’ll continue next week,” he says, and it’s not a question.  

The door sighs shut behind him.  

Left alone, you stare at the ruined depressor. The wood’s fractured where his grip faltered, grooves carved by clenched fingers. You press a thumb into the deepest dent, imagining the force required—the control overridden.   

Down the hall, his laughter floats through an open doorway, warm and easy as he chats with a colleague. 

Normal. Harmless.  

You bite the tissue between your teeth, tasting bergamot and salt and lies.  

Your lungs burn as you push through the apartment door, endorphins still singing through your veins. 

The run helped—three miles of pavement pounding your inappropriate thoughts into submission. Three miles of not thinking about surgical hands or tongue depressors or—

"Morning, Chip."

You freeze.

The water bottle slips from your grip, hitting the floor with a hollow thud. 

Because there he is—Hoseok—lounging on your couch like he belongs there, like he hasn't been haunting your dreams for weeks, like you haven't been actively fleeing every time you catch a glimpse of his white coat in hospital corridors.

"I—" Your voice cracks. "Caleb didn't say..."

"He's in the shower." Hoseok's smile is gentle. Always gentle. "You've been busy lately."

It's not an accusation. His tone is light, conversational. But something in the way he says it—in the careful way he watches you over the rim of his coffee mug—makes your stomach drop.

"Yeah, I..." You scramble for an excuse. "Classes."

"Mm." He sets his mug down with deliberate care. "Interesting. Because I asked about your attendance."

Your heart stops.

"Just checking in," he continues, voice honey-sweet. "Since you missed three anatomy labs."

The air feels too thick. 

You're suddenly aware of how you must look—flushed from running, hair escaping your ponytail, compression leggings clinging to every curve. 

His eyes track a bead of sweat rolling down your neck.

"I—had other commitments."

"Did you?" He tilts his head, expression perfectly concerned. "Because Dr. Park mentioned you've been switching sections. Always picking labs when I'm not assisting."

Fuck.

"That's not—" You swallow hard. "It's not like that."

"No?" He stands, and you realize with dawning horror that he's blocking your escape route to the hallway. "Then what's it like, Chip?"

The nickname lands like a physical touch. You back up until your spine hits the door.

"Because it seems," he continues, voice impossibly soft, "like you're avoiding me."

"I'm not—"

"Three weeks." He takes a step closer. "Three weeks of missed labs. Declined study sessions. Running away every time I visit your brother."

Your chest feels tight. "I haven't been—"

"Nice outfit, by the way."

The compliment throws you off-balance. 

He's still smiling, still gentle, but there's something else there—something that makes your thighs press together unconsciously.

"The color suits you." His eyes drift lower. "Though I wonder if you're getting enough circulation. You're flushed."

You're not flushed from running anymore.

"I should—" You gesture vaguely toward your room. "Shower."

"Of course." He steps aside, ever-courteous. "Wouldn't want you catching cold."

You bolt past him, careful not to brush against his chest. But his voice follows you down the hall:

"Oh, and Chip?"

You freeze, hand on your doorknob.

"Next time you skip labs?" The smile is audible in his voice. "I'll have to schedule a private make-up session. For your academic benefit, of course."

The door closes behind you with a click that sounds like a threat.

You slide down against it, pressing your thighs together as your hand creeps beneath the waistband of your leggings. Because you're weak. Because you're stupid. Because even his threats sound like kindness, and you're going to hell for the way that makes you feel.

In the living room, you hear him laugh at something Caleb says. Normal. Friendly. Like he didn't just pin you to a wall with words alone.

Your fingers slip through embarrassing wetness as you bite your lip to stay quiet.

→ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @cannotalwaysbenight @livingformintyoongi @itstoastsworld @somehowukook @just-reading-dany @sanarin @billy-jeans23 @stuti2904 @chloepiccoliniii @kimnamjoonmiddletoe @annyeongbitch7

© 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓.

no reposts, translations, or adaptations

[theshiftingwitch]

How to manifest an sp

The fastest and easiest way:

One thing I can tell you about me that I have reserved the right to brag about, is that I've never ever failed at manifesting a specific person.

Even when I didn't know about the law, even when I was still a wide-eyed teenager sauntering through life with bucket loads of anxiety, baseless hope, and religious trauma, I have always manifested every person I've ever wanted. From boyfriends, to friends, to strangers complimenting me on the street randomly for no specific reason whatsoever, when I decided to get a person, I have always succeeded.

It is the easiest thing you will ever do. Now don't give me that look, I can see you already rolling your eyes at your screen saying "I have been trying to manifest my SP for a year and a half and nothing happened, how can you tell me that it's the easiest thing in the world?" Well because I have the experience, the expertise, and the success stories to prove it and I'm going to break it down to you in the simplest of ways, that you're going to manifest your Sp tomorrow morning.

One thing I noticed about everyone trying to manifest a specific person is that most of you (and I want you to take no offense whatsoever to this because we're going to change it immediately) reek of desperation.

You want your SP, and you want them right now, and you will do anything to get them, and you are so desperate that if they were making a reboot for desperate housewives you would get the role effortlessly.

You are a Carrie when you're supposed to be a Samantha. If you haven't seen sex and the city first of all what are you doing? second of all get on it now. But if you have, you will know that Carrie throughout the seasons and the movies was the most desperate bitch anyone has ever seen and all of her relationships ended horrifically including but not limited to being left at the altar by Mr big. Samantha however, was a bad bitch, she knew what she wanted and she got it 100% of the time because she knew she was THAT bitch.

The first thing you need to do is become a Samantha. You need to know your own value, you need to understand that you are the prize, that you should be on the pedestal, that you control this reality and that no man/woman or non-binary person is going to tell you how things are going in your own reality. Stop victimizing yourself, stop waiting on your manifestations, stop waiting for your SP to notice you or text you or acknowledge your existence or leave their 3p behind for you!!! this is your reality and you tell it what the fuck to do.

Your self concept needs to be through the roof, no screw the roof, your self concept needs to be in outer space! you need to think of yourself as God, you need to think of yourself as the only operant power in your reality, you need to think of yourself as if the world will end tomorrow if you decide it would. You need to take care of yourself like the queen (or king, or monarch, we are inclusive here) that you are. Stop overthinking it, stop being desperate, stop waiting for the opportunity for someone else to notice you, notice yourself.

I don't care if your SP is a celebrity. I don't care if you've never met them before in real life, I don't care if you have an enemies to lovers arc that is still developing its enemy portion, I don't care if they think of you as a goblin, as a gremlin walking on two feet, I don't care how they see the world, this is all about you. So you decide who you want to be and carry yourself like that bad bitch.

The second thing you're going to do is decide and fall back. So you decided that your SP is obsessed with you, you decided that your SP is texting you right now as we speak confessing their eternal undying love for you. What are you doing now? Are you holding your phone obsessing over when that text is coming? Are you stalking them on social media to see if they're posting anything or to see if they're online? Are you stalking them to see if there's another girl/boy/person in their life right now? Absolutely the fuck not. You affirmed, you decided, you put things in motion. Now you're going to put your phone down and you're going to screw off to do something else. Go read a book, go watch a TV show, go rearrange your wardrobe and throw away anything you're not wearing anymore, go put on a full face of makeup and take pictures just for the hell of it, go hang out with your friends or bully or younger sibling or go for a walk. Touch grass. Stare at the sun or the moon and acknowledge that you are just as fantastic and magnificent and beautiful and Powerful as that luminary goddess in the sky. The point is, you decided! you put things in motion! there is no reason for you to be checking the 3D every 2 seconds saying "oh where's my manifestation? where is my text? where's my SP?" who the fuck cares? Your SP is currently spiraling, they are losing their goddamn mind trying to come up with the perfect text to send to you that will show just how much they're obsessed with you. They're currently losing whatever brain cells they have left trying to figure out what gift to buy you, what grand gesture they're going to win you over with, what clothes they're going to wear on your date, what restaurant they're going to take you to, what car they need to bring so that would make a good impression, what picture they're going to post on social media so that you would notice them... your sp is currently spiraling, I don't need you to do the same thing! you are in control.

And the last thing you are going to do, is to bask in the feeling of a manifestation well received. You already have your SP, and you already went on the dates, and you already posted the soft launch and the hard lunch and everyone in the world knows that you two are together and everyone is congratulating you in your DMs and everyone is liking your pictures and saying "oh my God couple goals! I wish I had someone who loved me like that! I wish I had someone who showed me off like that! I wish I had someone who bought me flowers and gifts and chocolates like that..." everything is going exactly as you wanted it to and everything is perfect in your life and you are feeling amazing! you are feeling on top of the world, you are feeling like THAT bitch because you are THAT bitch. You are Samantha. Act like it.

Neutralize the energy of desperation and bask in the energy of fulfillment.

Manifesting an SP works based on the principle of thought transmission, which means you need to understand that every thought you have about your SP is going directly into their tiny pea sized brain. (And no, I don't mean every single thought, they can't read your mind. I mean thoughts directed at them with the intention of manifesting them, so don't go and spiral thinking that there are vampires out there reading your mind making fun of you, I am talking about manifesting.) So if you think that your SP is obsessed with you, your SP is going to mirror that because we're all one part of the big brain that is the great consciousness and once you send a direct message it will always be received. So stop losing your mind, stop wondering if it's working because it is working because the law never fails. It's what makes it a law. So rest assured that your thoughts are penetrating their brain through thought transmission and they are thinking exactly what you're thinking.

Give it a try, and let me know how it works for you. I look forward to seeing all of your success stories because I know that this is going to work. You are going to manifest that person.

Happy manifesting ❤️

[bidisasterevankinard]

Inspiration Saturday

Today was really productive day! I was inspired for two new wips(my old wips and my brain cry yeah). Anyway, meet actor Buck and basketball player Tommy that was inspired by Oliver's all star game, and the baby trapping (with a twist where Tommy traps himself with Buck's baby) inspired by my post and tags

Moodboards and edit for actor/player

Little snippet for baby trapping:

"Do you want to feed her?" Evan asks, not looking at him checking the temperature of the bottle.

"I don't know how to do it," Tommy confesses sheepishly.

"I can teach you."

And what can Tommy do except agree?

And long under cut for actor/basketball player:

After rubbing his eyes five times and rereading the short post - Going to coach a team blue. Who should be in it?- on his screen a dozen more times, Buck calls Eddie.

His manager can do anything he wants, sell his ass or soul to whoever he needs to. But Buck will play.

The second the call connected he’s throwing his words at the man.

“I need you to put me in an ‘all star celebrity game’. Blue team.”

Eddie is silent and Buck checks his phone to see the call wasn’t disconnected. 

“Hi, Buck. I'm fine, thanks for asking,” finally the bitchy answer comes, and Buck rolls his eyes.

Doesn’t Eddie understand that life or death matters?

“Eddie, I'm not playing. I must play it this year. In blue time.”

“Why?”

“Because of Tommy Kinard, duh,” he answers.

“Ok? You know you sound like a teenager right now? What if I will put you under home arrest?”

“Eddie, you won’t!”

“Annoy me more and I will, young man,” Eddie says in his dad voice.

“We’re the same age!”

“And yet, I’m the mature one,” Eddie deadpans and Buck shrugs. Maybe Eddie is more mature. Buck won’t let him win. “Anyway, why is it so important for you to be in Kinard’s team? Besides him being one of the best players of the last fifteen years?”

“Tommy Kinard was my bi awakening when I was 15 and was watching him play. I saw that man running, his dick jumping in those shorts and I was like ‘yeah, I want to bounce on it’,” Buck licks his lips opening his tumblr on the laptop and checking the latest gif of that monster jumping in Kinard's shorts during the last game.

Damn, Buck wants to be destroyed by it.

“Too much information,” Buck can hear Eddie growing in disgust. 

“I'm sorry. But now you understand why? I must meet him Eddie. I want him to train me for that game.” 

“You want to meet your celebrity crush? Why do I feel it's not just platonic?”

 “Because it's not. I wanted to bounce on that dick for ten years. And I finally have a chance,” Buck rolls his eyes again. 

How does Eddie not understand? Would he not fuck the actresses from one of his telenovelas if he had a chance?

 “Why are you so sure you're his type? He can be straight.” 

“Eddie, Tommy Kinard came out two years ago. And I saw men he likes. I AM his type. And I will bounce on that dick. If not before the game then after. But I'm sure I will bounce on that dick the night after our first meeting. 

“Can you please stop talking about bouncing on his dick and I promise you're on the team?” Edddie basically begs and Buck takes pity on him.

 “Deal.”

 “Good. And don’t forget protection for your leg,” Buck agrees and then Eddie, with a smirk Buck can hear, adds, “and condoms.”

Buck laughs.

 “Don't worry about it, dad. I promise not to get pregnant.”

“Keep the daddy issue for Kinard.”

“Ah, do you think he would love me calling him daddy?”

Buck feels his dick throbbing in interest and bites his lip, not to traumatize Eddie.

“BYE, BUCK!”

Eddie drops the call and Buck just shrugs, opens his laptop, with his favorite video of all the best shots of Kinard’s dick - he’s not the only fan of that obscene thing - and takes the lube and dildo out.

He should train for the real game.

Np tagging @hippolotamus @mmso-notlikethat @quintessenceofdust88 @theotherbuckley @powersuitup @diazsdimples @typicalopposite @laundryandtaxesworld @lavenderleahy @leashybebes @midsummersmorn @monsterrae1 @weewookinard @ravipanikking @racerchix21 @devirnis @agentpeggycartering @aringofsalt @bi-buckrights @pirrusstuff @setmeatopthepyre @hyperfocusthusly @epiphainie @loucifersbitch @repressedqueen @perfectlysunny02 @bigfootsmom @bewilderedbuckley @diazheartsbuckley @aplaceinme @cliophilyra and anyone who wants to

[ballroomblitzzzz]

Okay I know this post is already super long but I've thought about it a ton and I feel like I didn't properly get across everything I was trying to say (even after editing the shit out of it).

So I wanna talk more about the idea that sorcery is a metaphor for goodness. And you're probably like CHRIST how many metaphors will this guy waffle on about, but hear me out okay.

So Glinda can fake being good as much as she can fake having magical powers. People will love her regardless of what's real, which is fundamentally what she wants, to be liked. But she also desperately wants sorcery AND to genuinely be good, she wants it to be real.

So Elphaba giving her the Grimerie I guess is sort of her way of telling Glinda to never stop trying to be good.

And of course (as is one of the main points of like all of the book and musical) goodness and wickedness are entirely subjective and far more about perception. So I'm in no way saying that portraying Glinda as having no powers proves that she's actually evil. Because... No.

It's all about perspective. To the rest of Oz, Glinda has magic and she is the embodiment of everything good in the world. But to Glinda herself, she's powerless without using other people and so she believes she's wicked. But she'll never stop trying to be good, for Elphaba yes, but also because that's just the person she's always wanted to be.

But speaking of, let's talk about Elphaba for a second. (And I know this started as an analysis of Glinda's character, but you really can't talk about one without the other.)

Because if we take the idea that magic is goodness, then that means a witch should be very embodiment of it. That every time Elphaba uses sorcery, it's pure and just. So it makes sense that in the scene where she's training with Morrible, she can't levitate the coin until she thinks about what happened to Dr Dillamond. Because she can only use her magic when she's fighting a cause. When she's doing good.

Which is exactly why Morrible and the Wizard can't use her. And if sorcery is goodness, then what better way to try and take away someone's power than to make them wicked.

Because of course, in a corrupt system what's more dangerous than someone good having power. And this isn't exactly a new or even particularly perceptive take, but god it makes me angry. (Especially considering recent politics)

But anyway, all this means is that No Good Deed is gonna hit a lot harder now and I truly cannot WAIT to see it performed when part two comes out.

Thanks again for listening to me waffle on about these witches with clumsy attempts at making eloquent points. And please tell me if you have any more thoughts about this, or really just any thoughts about these characters, I mean it all feeds the same obsession.

So I've been doing a lot of thinking recently, about wicked, because of course it's about wicked.

Specifically Glinda and her relationship to sorcery. (Hold tight this one's gonna be a whole ass essay) I find it interesting that the film really tries to make it clear that she has, not just little power, but none at all.

Because in the book she does have magic! Like there's this great scene where her, Nessa and Elphaba are talking about sorcery and she explodes a sandwich in their faces to prove a point.

This isn't relevant at all I just really like the scene. Point is, book Glinda's magic ain't too shabby. And in the musical (unfortunately I've only seen it once so apologies if I've read this wrong) I kinda saw it as she did have magic, but just didn't really get good at it before act 2. But in the film it's clear she doesn't have any. Like in NOMTW she pushes a pedal to make the bubble instead of using her wand, similar to how the wizard uses mechanics to fake sorcery. So why is it different? I hear you ask.

Well my curious child, I'll come to that in a minute (promise) right NOW I wanna talk about why Glinda wants magic in the first place.

And this is something that's had me stumped for a while, I mean it's not like she needs it. She can easily get whatever she wants from social manipulation, and yet it's still her heart's desire to become a sorceress.

And it's SUCH a big part of her character that couldn't just go around not being able to answer that question now could I?? And guys I think I figured it out.

So she's always been jealous of Elphaba, right? Right. And the thing about Elphaba that she envies, is that she's powerful without having to rely on other people. Glinda doesn't have that. She gets to the top because people like her. She said it herself, 'its not about aptitude it's the way you're viewed'. She knows the way to truly succeed is to make sure that you're liked. And she's very good at that, so she doesn't need sorcery, and YET she wants it. And to me this proves that Glinda hates the reason that she's liked. She wants people to love her for what she can do, not for the shallow persona she presents. She wants to have a power all to herself. She doesn't want to need people. She wants to be the kind of person who hops on a broom and overthrows the government at the drop of a hat (pun intended) but that's not who she is.

Of course she doesn't go with Elphaba. Elphaba can be strong on her own but without the public on her side Glinda is powerless.

And just think it's soooo fucking interesting how Elphaba and Glinda's different kinds of power can be seen as just another metaphor for their sense of self. Because Elphaba has had to trust herself, to have a strong enough identity to know that she's better than what people say. But Glinda's entire identity and self worth are tied to what people think of her, she's only as good as people say.

So of course she doesn't go with her.

But here's where she changes (for good hehe). And of course, it's down to Elphaba. Because Elphaba has always believed that Glinda is powerful outside of other people. And, back to sorcery now because yes that is what I started talking about, it's Elphaba who invites her to sorcery class, it's Elphaba who asks Glinda to come and meet the wizard with her, it's Elphaba who asks her to come with her in defying gravity and (SPOILERS FOR PART TWO!!) its Elphaba who gives her the Grimerie. Because Elphaba has always believed Glinda was strong even when she wasn't.

Glinda always wanted to be a sorceress but it was only Elphaba who had faith that she could do it. And this is what makes Elphaba giving her the Grimerie so symbolic and so, so fucking sad. Because Elphaba's showing her that she's better than she thinks, she just going like 'hey, you got this'. And srhstjdyfkvhlvukflyyc. And so the way Glinda's viewed doesn't change at all, but the way she sees herself does, and so don't mind me while I go cry in a corner.

And you know maybe all this was obvious to literally everybody who watched the film and I've just mansplained lesbianism to everyone but I just really needed to write this down because I've been going insane about wicked and I can't shut up about it.

Because DUDE all these characters are so COMPLEX I just wanna peel them all like ONIONS, but oh BOY does it make my eyes water.

[dellamortethelesser]

The Wigmaker Job

Notes and Thoughts - Part 5

pt1 | pt2 | pt3 | pt4 | pt5 | pt6 | pt7 (FINAL)

DISCLAIMER: These posts I'm doing are my own analyses and are done with the intentional eye to examine the relationship between Lucanis and Illario. I try to source all my assertions from what the text is giving me. This is not Lucanis critical nor should it be taken as such.

"bad timing, mia cara" ← why did he say that. i mean i get the whole bad timing thing but why the pet name. oh Illario…. anyways. i did pick up in the middle of the scene because we have a lot of ground to cover. Lucanis is the one who takes note of the really bad state poor Effe is in

She doesn't know her own age, severely underweight, her hair has been ripped out—bad just bad. Lucanis is the one who tells her to go on her way, seething with rage all the while.

Illario protests, saying that she's seen their faces and thus the contract is compromised. Lucanis bets of her bluffing for them, and she asks if he's a Crow. Lucanis admits this… Illario chides him for doing so. They let Effe go on her way.

"Never known you to have a soft heart," Illario murmured. Lucanis's right cheek muscle twitched. "She won't talk." "This isn't Antiva. We're not heroes here." "We're not heroes anywere, cousin."

Before I jump into the next bit, I want to talk about this! I worry that people falsely attribute the 'we're not heroes anywhere' quote to Illario, but it is LUCANIS who says that! Illario is the one who seems to imply that they may already have a sort of patriotic reputation in Antiva—a reputation that is the one Teia builds on in Veilguard!

Lucanis is the one who points out that the work they do isn't heroic. It's mercenary and fueled by coin. I still think it's interesting that he's the one who says that because he's still at odds with what an assassin should be concerned about. Illario says that he hasn't known Lucanis to have a soft heart—he let a witness walk free.

Illario rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. The Venatori already have your name. If they learn your face—" "I'll grow a beard," Lucanis smirked. "They'll never see me coming." Illario's frustration deflated. He grinned reluctantly. "That cavalier attitude's going to get you killed." "It's served me well so far."

I'll grow a beard… the infamous Veilguard beard reference <3 really charming to me that they did pick it up from the book lol

I had thoroughly underlined the 'grinned reluctantly' part of this passage. I don't think Illario's frustration is genuinely fading, more so he's putting it aside to focus on the job and the situation. The fact he points out that Lucanis's cavalierness is going to get him killed…

I think it's a link to the conversation at the end of the short story. Lucanis does not care about the right things—he cares about people, and slaves, and justice, but those aren't things an assassin needs to care about. He needs to care about the risk and where he stands with the Crows, and he needs to start CARING about how Caterina is pitting them against each other. But Lucanis ignores all of that.

Anyways. We move to the next scene, where Lucanis and Illario are on their way into the room with the slaves.

Lucanis went first, showing Illario where to place his feet.

Remember that line for later. We're going to come back to it with The Wake analysis.

The slaves are in fucking horrid condition. I'm not going to be recounting it here because it's a bit graphic but you can read along in your own books <3

Lucanis stumbled back, his mouth dry. Something inside snapped. 'Death's too good for this bastard'. Illario touched his arm. Only then did Lucanis realize how quickly he was breathing. He closed his eyes. 'Remember your training', he told himself, and suddenly, he could hear the tapping of his grandmother's cane, the hard elegance of her voice. 'There is no place for emotion in killing. It's sloppy. File it down. Make it useful.'

Pausing here so we can pick apart at this passage for a second. We start with Lucanis reeling back in anger at the horror of what he is seeing. He's incensed on behalf of the people that Ambrose is harming. What surprises me here is how vastly different his reaction is to Illario's.

Illario, ostensibly, seems level and unfazed, or at least he is masking it better than Lucanis. To the point where Illario puts a hand on him to bring him back to center! I also love the insight that we get into Caterina here… she tells the boys there's no place for emotion in killing.

But also to file it down and make it useful? I don't think she's saying they need to be emotionless but rather that they need to control their emotions, stay aware of themselves. We don't have the insight into Illario but I don't think that Lucanis is NOT doing that. I'd argue everything he does from this point on is emotionally led.

That doesn't mean I think every decision he makes in this story is a good one—morally, yes, but pragmatically? No. I'm getting ahead of myself, though, there's the next part of this passage I want to peek at.

'Make it useful', he repeated to himself. With slow, controlled breaths, Lucanis flushed the rage pumping through his veins until he could think clearly. Ambrose would die—that was certain—but he couldn't walk away from these people.

My above points stand.

"What are you doing?" Illario whispered. "Breaking their shackles." Illario stared. "That's not the job." "Fuck the job."

Notes I scribbled around this specific part of the passage incoming:

'Once again, Lucanis is pushing past the terms of the contract without consulting Illario.' 'Is Illario following or being dragged?' and 'He's risking the contract to do this, but he's the favorite. Does Illario even have room to say no?'

"That's not the job" & "Fuck the job" respectively are almost the thesis of the story in and of itself—Illario wants a plan, a solid follow-through, whereas Lucanis is taking twists and turns until it's not about killing on a contract but freeing slaves and killing for vengeance. It's really an interesting dynamic from this point out because it widens a gulf between them.

Red lyrium note later in this passage which really does not come up in Veilguard like it did in previous installments of the game.

Sensing thinness in the Veil again—really would have liked to have gotten more details in Veilguard about Lucanis's abilities but Spite took precedence. Which is… fine, but it means we do see a disparity between this book and the game release.

Lucanis grabs Illario's wrist and hits the pressure point at the base of it to get Illario to drop his dagger. Insane move—I see why Lucanis was doing this (he had a different plan to handle the kill, re: the Fade orb in the room) but I would be so pissed if I was Illario lmfao. He let Ambrose get away! Their contract!

Illario wrenches his arm free. "Have you lost your mind? We had him!" "He doesn't deserve a quick death."

Objectively shouldn't matter what he 'deserves'. They're assassins and they are paid to kill. Illario knows this, Lucanis has been set up and shown to be more emotional and sympathetic to the point of interference.

"Did you forget the mess you left upstairs? What do you think will happen when Ambrose finds his bodyguards slaughtered?" "Hopefully he panics. I want him scared." "He'll flee," Illario asserted. "And this contract will be forfeit. Your life will be forfeit."

Two things I want to note here: One, that Lucanis is confident he can still kill Ambrose even with the situation shifting the way it has, and two—Illario's concern for Lucanis. If Crows fail a contract, as has been stated and confirmed consistently, they are eliminated as operatives for the House of Crows.

Interesting that the focus is on Lucanis's life—was anyone else aware that Illario was also on this contract? Or because it is Lucanis who accepted it, it is only his life on the line, regardless of assistance from other Crows? Fascinating to consider.

"Don't worry, cousin. He'll die. But in the right way."

Literally should not be Lucanis's place to determine this. They had a shot and they didn't take it—he wants the perfect vengeance, Illario wants the job done.

Illario threw his hands up. "Death is death! There's still time to chase Ambrose down. But we need to leave. Now. Magic isn't my forte, but even I know red lyrium is bad news. It infects people's minds. Lucanis!" Illario pressed. "We can't help these people." "No, but we can give them vengeance."

Once again I wish red lyrium was as important in Veilguard as it used to be <3 I know they explained it to us in the lore reveals we got but also that shit fucked people up so bad for so long and we saw… none of that lol. I would've even been down to see an Illario corrupted by red lyrium more than venatori in his villain arc who said that

I love that Illario talks with his hands btw go off pookie

I've made previous points about the vengeance talk with Lucanis and I'll say it again: he is a fucking assassin. He is getting lost in the inhumanity of the situation. They are not paid to care, to get vengeance, to do all of these extra steps that he wants to take. Illario, in this moment, is the only one focused on the job.

"What are you doing?" Illario called out. Lucanis took the dagger from his mouth and positioned it over the artifact. "You'll see." Illario groaned. "I really wish people would stop saying that."

By "people", he means Lucanis.

and end scene.

Quotes are either paraphrased or taken directly from The Wigmaker Job, written by Courtney Woods.

[gazsluckyhat]

Denial is a River in Egypt

Let's all say thank you @miss-vanta-likes-to-write for making me post this early. I was saving it for after Sarah's House but she's been begging. And I quite enjoy this one as well.

That being said this is a dark fic. Please check the trigger warnings before reading.

tw: kidnapping, dub-con, mentions of drugs

Everyone knows that what belongs to Simon belongs to John. Of course that includes you, too.

or

Denial is a river in Egypt. Everyone knows that.

The lights in the house were off, front door locked. Everything was as you left it when you left this morning, but you weren't alone. The hot coco you made every night to relax had a funny taste. You just assumed it was because it was a Christmas flavor and Christmas was two months ago. But now, seeing who was in front of you, you know it isn’t that. He blended into the darkness of the living room. He could have been there for hours. You'd been in the kitchen for at least two. A late dinner and a couple chapters read before bed. He'd stepped forward the second you finished the mug, which was now shattered at your feet.

"What-what are you doing here?" Something was wrong, you could feel it in your chest. He only cocked his head to the side.

"Taste funny love?" Confirmation on what you already knew. A step back was met with a step forward. He matched every move you made.

"You broke into my house." He only chuckled.

"I did tell you that you need a better system." The knife block was behind you, you just had to reach it. Another step back matched. The counter pressed into your back.

"What do you want?" Your hand reached behind you, fingers searching for the bigger knife. He knew what you were doing of course. He always did.

"Nothing. I've got what I want." Eye's wide with confusion you felt it. Your head started to sway, limbs growing heavy.

"Yo spikd drink." You tongue felt numb. He walked closer and when your knee's buckled he caught you. His touch always so gentle. All you could do was whimper.

"Shh. Don't worry love. We're going home now." Your eyes drifted closed as he lifted you up with ease. You should've went home that night. When the brute of a man slid in close, you should have feigned sick and left. Now you were stuck with a Ghost that didn't like 'no'.

Your head felt stuffed with cotton, your mouth so dry. Everything aches, including your head. Whatever you were laying on was scratchy and rough. You couldn't feel the rest of your body parts yet, a tingly numbness still running through your veins. It felt like you had to use all your strength to open your eyes, the minimal light still hurting them. You weren't in your house. This wasn't your bedroom. This wasn't even your basement. There weren't any signs of your seasonal décor anywhere.

"She's awake Simon." Blue eyes appeared in your sight. And the stupidest haircut you'd ever seen. That only meant-Price. He was spread across the couch in front of you, a cigar hanging out of his mouth. His lap dog Kyle was behind him, eyes watching your every move. Johnny was kneeling in front of you. You were assuming he was touching you, though ,again, you couldn't feel the rest of your body yet.

"Almost forgot how pretty she is, Lt." You tried to bare your teeth but only got a laugh from the men. Simon strolled in seconds later, mask gone. He was wearing a grey shirt and black tac pants. His usual get up. He happily knelt beside Johnny, hand running through your hair.

"Sleep good love?" Brown eyes showing concern. Tugging a knot out you groaned. Your head still ached. "Bet your head aches, huh? Roofie'll do that." He stood back up and slipped something from his pocket, grabbing the bottle Johnny offered him. "This'll help some." Shaking out two white pills he offered them to you.

"Why would I trust you?" Your voice was rough, sore even. Simon chuckled before a smack registered on your thigh. Feeling now back.

"Now now Soap. Her punishment comes later." John was smirking your way. Anger bubbled up. "I'm sure Simon can handle her." Simon bent down his other hand stroking your cheek.

"It's paracetamol. I've never lied to you, love." Which was a lie. Your head ached though. And all your muscles feel tight and wound up. Opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out he set the pills in your mouth. "Good girl." He took the lid off the bottle and slowly put it to your mouth where you gulped greedily. The water felt great on your throat. Johnny tugged your head back gently.

"Slow down Lassie. You'll choke." Wiggling your toes you realize they weren't bound and neither were your hands. Why would they be? You had four of the best soldiers in the room with you. You couldn't get away even if you tried. And they knew it.

"What do you want Simon? Where am I?" This wasn't his place. This had to be some old abandoned place by the looks of the walls. Though it looked like work was being done.

"I told you before. I have what I want. And this is our home." He was smiling at you.

"We were gonna wait until the renovation was done before bringing you, doll, but you had to go and ruin plans." John was glaring at you. "So sorry if it's not up to your standards."

"What are you talking about? I haven't done anything to any of you." They were delusional. You'd broke things off with Simon for that reason. You'd loved him though.

"He's talking about this new job. Going back to America? Leaving me?" He looked hurt.  And your heart may have cracked just a tad.

"How do you know that? No one knew. I just found out?" This was bad. They probably had Kyle hacking your job. He was a wiz at that stuff.

"The same way I know your boss is secretly gay." Kyle smiled. Shaking his phone in front of him.

"This bullshit. You can't keep me here." Johnny chuckled.

"Oh bonnie. Why can't we?" Simon nodded.

"There's enough space here to add on if we need to. You can have that library you always talked about. The master is big enough for a California king. Room for all of us. And we can do your dream bathroom." You wanted to cry. "And there's no one around for miles, love. We can finally work on that garden we always talked about." He was rubbing your cheeks. You couldn’t hold back the tears.

"I want to go home Si." He shh'd you.

"I know love, I know. But this is home now. It's bigger than that townhouse anyway. Me and Johnny are gonna go pack up your stuff tomorrow, Kyle already sent your job your resignation. Everything is done." Your eyes flew to Johns.

"You can't keep encouraging this. This is not right and you know it." He only laughed while strolling to join you.

"You broke his heart sweetheart. He only wanted to love you."

"No, he wanted to share me like I was his property." A smile as his hand touched your cheek.

"To people he loved. It wasn't like he was letting strangers fuck you." You gasped.

"Fuck you, Price." A smirk and a dark glint in his eyes.

"Simon, are you punishing her?" Simon shook his head. Fear crawling up your throat.

"Have at it Captain." Then you were being yanked up and bent over John's legs.

"What the fuck-" Your jeans were being yanked down your legs, panties with them. "Stop. Fucking sto-" A loud smacked jolted you. Fire burned up your neck and across your backside.

"This is for your own good love. We only want the best for you." Simon was at your eye level, his hands soothing your red cheeks.

"Please, Simon." Tears gathered in your eyes, your throat burning. Another smack. John Price was spanking you. Like a disobedient child. The other two watched as their Captain smacked your ass, listening to the soft cries you gave. The embarrassment was otherworldly. You just wanted to hide and cry in peace.

 Twenty smacks. He gave you twenty hard smacks before letting his hand wander.

"Hmmm. Look at this, boys." His fingers pulled from your thighs wet and glistening. Somehow your cheeks grew even hotter. "Our little lamb liked it." Raising you up so you were now straddling him, he took those same fingers and waved them in front of your face. You tried to avoid his eyes but he took hold of your jaw.

"Did you like it sweetheart? Hmm?" He sucked each finger clean. "Is that why you've been so bad? Just wanted us to punish you. Bruise that pretty skin of yours?" You whimpered. "Poor thing." He waved two fingers in front of you and touched your lips with them. "Suck." He didn’t even give you time to open your mouth, just pushed them past your teeth and closed your lips. You could still taste yourself on them, somehow tangy and sweet. Simon used to spend hours between your legs, sucking and licking until you'd cry from the overstimulation. John pulled them out kissing your cheek before shoving them back between your legs and into you. You tried to pull away, but he had you in a tight grip.

"You took those spankings so well sweetheart. Let me reward you." He looked over your shoulder, eyes signaling someone. Simon's lips latched onto your neck seconds later. A whimper left you. He had your hands pressed to your chest.

"Miss you love. So fuckin' much." John was fingering you now, a loud squelching noise echoing in the room. "Such a good girl. Takin' the Captain's fingers. Such a pretty girl." You wanted to hate this. To hate every single part but you couldn't. Simon knew your sweet spots and was doing his best to hit every single one. John's fingers felt so fucking good after months of a dildo and vibrator. You were quickly climbing a hill, your body betraying you. Simon captured your lips in his, John leaning forward to suck a nipple through your t-shirt. Simon sucked the groan you gave up, smiling into your kiss. Your fingers dug into Simon's as you were reaching that ledge. You were so close and he knew it.

"She's gonna cum Sir. Just a little more." He said watching your face. His finger's joined Johns and began to rub your clit, that being the last thing you needed. With a cry you came all over the men's fingers, collapsing into John's chest. Aftershocks running through you. Your eyes felt heavy again, the last of your energy taken from you.

"That'a girl. Johnny, take her up to the room and let her rest. She's gonna be exhausted." The last thing you remember is the Scot picking you up and tucking your head under his chin.

tags: @miss-vanta-likes-to-write

[all-pacas]

When do you think choreman started becoming friends?

Define friends, lol.

Maybe S7? It's surprisingly hard to say.

Foreman openly and loudly dislikes Chase for the first three seasons, and makes no secret of it: he thinks Chase should lose his job in Control even before Chase goes to Vogler, and later backs it up to House, he tells Chase in S3 that he doesn't like him, and Chase tells a patient in S1 that Foreman hates him. They have some moments of coworker friendliness (teasing Cameron together, mostly; there's some off-screen sharing of gossip back and forth), but there's absolutely no indication they like one another or even respect one another much. We even see them both try and reach out to the other (Foreman to Chase in Socratic Method, Chase to Foreman in House Training and Family), and these efforts be summarily rebuffed.

It's useful to compare their relationships to Cameron to see what I mean: Foreman and Chase are just fine at pretending to get along for the sake of their jobs, but that's baseline coworker stuff. By contrast we see Foreman repeatedly engage Cameron in philosophical debates he really seems to enjoy; he gets a bit protective of her about her crush on House; they have several real, sincere conversations — his calling her out about her commitment issues in Insensitive, for example, is very much Foreman being sincere with her and kind. He apologizes for being a jerk. He tries to frame his critique as a good thing.

The same goes for Cameron and Chase. She talks to him about her crush on House, apparently in some detail; he's the first one she tells, and is already in the loop when Cameron starts pushing her feelings. They're also quick to defend one another, professionally and over personal issues, and, while their eventual relationship kind of obscures their "friendship," they always spend time together, there's entire episodes where Chase is just found in the ER: they clearly enjoy one another's company.

Another thing I find interesting (we'll return to Choreman in a second, I promise) is a throwaway line of Thirteen's in S7. Finding out House said she was in rehab, she complains it really limits her social options with the guys. In particular, she complains, without being able to go out drinking, she and Chase will no longer be friends. Obviously she is joking, but Thirteen is also implying she and Chase do go out drinking sometimes. Nice for them. Not all that deep. More than Choreman ever gets. Sure, we see in S1 they go out for a hosted dinner and drinks… but Cameron is there. We never, ever hear of the two of them hanging out as friends.

This trend continues through S4-5: Foreman has a brief stint in S4 convinced Chase is wildly jealous of him and running the firing betting pool as some sort of revenge plan, which is a) funny as hell and b) still not friends. S6, Foreman hires Cameron and Chase back on the basis of I know I can work with you, not friendship; he fumbles the ball pretty fucking hard with Chase post-divorce, and is no more successful (arguably less) at reaching out to him than any of the others. He takes no interest in Chase's obvious depression except to tell him to get over it. S7, they continue to clash: Chase seems to develop a new hobby of trolling Foreman on purpose, which he's actually been doing since S1 and is quite good at. There's no indications the two kept in touch during the S8 gap, and when they have a personal conversation at the end episode five, the most we get is Foreman calling Chase "one of my best doctors," which is so funny, I love that he can't even compliment Chase without making it a compliment towards himself first.

I sound like I'm focusing more on Foreman here, like I think Foreman hates Chase and Chase is innocent. I actually don't think Chase likes Foreman any more than the reverse! It's just that Chase is a more passive person by nature. He's not as overt with his disrespect, because that's just not his style. But we see that as late as S7, Chase really doesn't respect Foreman much: he calls him out pretty thoroughly in Massage Therapy, and generally delights in undermining Foreman's authority.

For another tangent, let's look at Taubman. I wouldn't say the two particularly get along in S4-6; they have a similar we're coworkers vibe, and that's perfectly fine. But by S7, we really see them become friends. It isn't subtle. Taub and Foreman like one another a lot. They are good friends, unlikely as it seems. They enjoy living together and playing video games and spending time. Just like the earlier Cameron examples, there is none of this from Chase and Foreman. We never hear about them hanging out without a buffer.

I said I thought S7 was the turning point. I was kind of lying, because there's not really any moment or evidence for this. But it's also true that after a while, Foreman lays off the animosity and stops blaming Chase for every error or conspiracy against him. Interestingly, they still never get any "bonding moments:" we see, say, Chase and Thirteen get a whole half episode in After Hours, and a friendship subplot in Now What and Private Lives; Foreman and Taub get a whole lot of bonding in Lockdown but also S7 generally. Foreman and Thirteen get subplot episodes; Chase and Wilson even get one in Private Lives. Chase and Foreman have the occasional shared subplot (Changes), but the focus on those is always them at odds or not getting along, not bonding. Did they ever become friends?

I think they respect one another. I think they have the sort of bond that comes of 8 years in the trenches of an incredibly difficult and demanding job. I also know they blatantly don't care about the things important to the other (Big Baby is a very funny and unsubtle example, where Foreman is worried as hell about Thirteen's drug trial, Chase is very interested in his relationship with Cameron, and neither could care less about the other's issues), don't socialize outside work unless there's a buffer, and continue to pretty fundamentally misunderstand one another for years of the show.

I know you're reading this and thinking "what about Dibala?" And I'm going to give my hot take here: I really don't think it was a huge gesture of friendship and love and trust. If anything, kind of the opposite.

Chase spends most of the Dibala arc pushing Foreman pretty hard to let him get away with it. You have to figure this out, you have to speak before the M&M, you have to lie. He drags Foreman way deeper into the coverup instead of taking any responsibility (or any active role in it — Chase does try, but he's not very good at it, and the burden lies mostly on Foreman's shoulders). Chase also lowkey throws Foreman under the bus for his marriage, using Foreman as an excuse to Cameron for why he's avoiding her, can't talk to her, etc: he also guilts Foreman into helping in The Tyrant.

Foreman helping anyway was a very kind thing to do, but I don't know how much choice he had. He was the one who signed off on treatment and charts. He was running the case. If Chase goes down, he's going down too: maybe Foreman doesn't go to jail for murder, but he absolutely loses his job and license. The episode is actually fairly quiet on what, if anything, Foreman believes about Dibala: where Cameron and Chase spend the whole thing debating morality, we don't really know if Foreman thought killing him was right or not. But by protecting Chase, he protected his career and ambitions… and, to be frank, if I'm Foreman and I think Chase is a lazy coward without morals already, I am not convinced Chase wouldn't try to pin the murder on me if I didn't help. Was helping Chase get away with murder still an altruistic (for a very given definition) thing to do? Sure. But it wasn't selfless. It wasn't love.

So when did Choreman become friends?

I don't know. Define friends.

[elletromil]

So I do a lot of book suggestion with my public libraries because, well, I'm a big reader and I can't buy all of the books, no matter how much i might want to.

Anyway, it always completely baffles me when, with series - especially when its in ebook form where you can see fairly easily on Libby whether or not there is another installment after the one you're currently reading - *I* have to suggest the next book for it to be picked up.

And not in a 'why is the librarian not buying it' way, but rather in a 'why are people not asking for it????'

For exemple, I've been reading a series of like 5-6 books total. I suggested my library get the first ebook, suggestion got accepted, i read the book and liked it well enough. About 10-ish people were in the hold queue. Of course that doesn't mean they actually liked it but whatever.

I suggested the second book, and because of the nature of ebooks reservation, some people got to read it before me. Ok fine. I read it, about 6-7 people are on the hold queue when i finish it.

Guess what? No one asked for the third book.

For EVERY book in the series, i had to ask for the next one and i'm just...

For people to read it before me, they had to have an alert on the book so they would know when it becomes available at once. Cuz obviously I have those alerts, but even just checking 5 minutes after the notification, there would be at least 2-3 people with a hold on the book already.

And its not even a 'oh, the library will get the ebooks at a certain time every months/few months so that's why it wasn't available yet'

I finished the second to last book of the series recently. It had been available since like october-ish. I had actually started back then, but since I'm not a fan of reading ebooks, I couldnt finish the book in time, so into the hold queue I went.

I know that public library. I know how often they get their ebook. If anyone had asked for the last book, it would be available already.

It wasn't.

Do people not know they can suggest books? Is the process too obscure for them?

Anyway, there is no point to this post except to say, my good peeps, you can make books (or dvds or games or whatever kind of item your public library offer) suggestion! You usually can do it online!

If you can't find where exactly, usually just googling 'purchase suggestion' or 'reccomand a title' with the name of your public library will get you to the right page

And if you're still not sure, you should ask your librarian, they'll be happy to tell you how!

[erinwantstowrite]

personally i think the trope of "said something i wasn't supposed to while high on pain meds at the hospital" only works if it's smth actually incomprehensible. down with this trope. that and the whole "speaking out loud but the narrator doesn't know they are" trope. you should legally have to tag that i think. i know this usually happens for characters that would never admit something otherwise but actually there are a billion reasons someone would admit something they wouldn't otherwise. for example: someone else has a bomb-

[royalarchivist]

I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲

[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet

Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)

Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked

[hanzajesthanza]

the training montage in crossroads re-ignited a headcanon i had of geralt waking up and doing gymnastics, performing kickflips and mid-air spins around on a fencepost outside an hour before sunrise to ‘limber up,’ and bleary-eyed dandelion wrapping himself up in a blanket to be like "heyyy... what the hell are you doing 💖"

[smartzelda]

Sorry guys I gotta speak my truth on this one

I'm not kidding when I say that I think that blaming shit media literacy from fans on shipping/shippers avoids the actual root of the problem to throw people you can easily throw under the bus (simply because it's not unpopular to consider people who post about ships or ship characters in media as having lesser or derivative tastes by default)

And here's why.

I think when you blame people who are "shippers" or "consume media through shipping lenses", the true root of it all is a mindset problem.

In actually, putting on shipping lenses can be helpful when trying to analyze a piece of media. When analyzing media you're supposed to approach it through a number of mindsets and put on different lenses (both to deepen your personal understanding of the media, and to pick it apart and see what you can find there (whether intentional or not on the author's part)), and different ships can be some of those lenses

When it comes to ships between main characters (for those who are genuinely willing to see what the narrative is showing with their relationship and what it's doing), there are times when analyzing it from a shipping lens may be helpful. As someone from KH fandom, I have seen people come to deeper understandings and pick canon apart in the process of analyzing a relationship that is genuinely integral to the story (platonic or not). I've also seen people get into rarepairs of characters who barely interact or who just suffer little screen time, and I've seen them come to better understandings of those side characters and how they potentially fit into the world of the media simply because people are now focusing on these characters and how they fit into the narrative.

Frankly, I resent the idea that the only way to truly objectively analyze a piece of media is by turning off the part of your brain that gets excited over relationships and individual characters. Don't get me wrong, that is a way to approach a piece of media and a valid one at that, but the truth is that we cannot be free of bias.

For instance, I was watching House MD with my parents circa last year. At some point I started heavily tuning into what was going on with House and Wilson's relationship. My parents, on the other hand, were largely watching casually. They're not thinking of character relationships or getting heavily invested in most characters, they're watching because they like watching. One of them in particular did try to analyze things that were happening in the show as they happened. However, when it came to the scene late in the series where House threw out Dominika's letter approving her American citizenship, my parents could understand that he was doing that because he didn't want her to leave, but not much beyond that. I ended up explaining to them that House's fake marriage for Dominika was an explicit parallel to when Wilson was living with House in the early seasons. Both situations started with House being none too happy about it but ultimately letting them stay, spending a considerable amount of effort getting them to leave/getting this situation to be finally over so he didn't have to deal with it anymore, and then by the time a piece of news comes through that would mean the person in question actually leaves, House hides this news as long as he can. Because he doesn't actually want them to leave and has grown attached. And by doing this he became a self fulfilling prophecy. By reacting to the truth of Wilson and Dominika leaving him the way he does, he seals his fate and they ultimately leave anyways. Maybe I ship Hilson, but becoming open to how their relationship was handled allowed me to transition to doing character studies and recognizing patterns/parallels that I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't particularly care about the characters or their relationship.

Likewise, I've seen mutuals complain about how people who don't like or don't care about certain characters often overlook these characters (what they're actually like and their place in the narrative), while the mutuals in question (by default) are able to come to deeper understanding of what the writers/story is trying to do because they care about this funky guy

You can't eradicate bias when you're engaging in media analysis, but you can consciously put on a range of lenses and observe the media through different povs with the goal of understanding the media better or bolstering your reading of it. And those lenses/povs can include focusing on specific relationships or the perpective of certain characters

And this is why I say it's actually a mindset problem. Shippers and people who have this one blorbo they like a lot aren't inherently terrible "fandom brained individuals" who are the root of media analysis problems. The problem only arises when people's readings/analysis of a piece of media are inherently restrictive/narrow and self centered. Your problem is with people who view a piece of media through a ship they like but don't keep an open mind about it, and whose "media analysis"/views on canon cannot be split from fanon and their comfortability levels. These are the people whose "media analysis" starts and ends with justifying their fanon as canon, whose views on media revolve around sorting characters and relationships into categories they personally enjoy rather than trying to understand what's going on.

Here's another example.

Here we have a fictional ship we'll call uhhhh...Blanebin. this fictional ship I made up on the spot for characters that don't exist named Blane and Corbin

Person A is super into Blanebin. They're part of the main cast of characters and canonically childhood best friends, so person A (as much as they enjoy fanart and fic) is also enjoying analyzing how narratively important to each other they are. Recently, Corbin started dating another character in canon, but Person A is enjoying watching how Blane is reacting to this. "Is this potentially a tell that Blane is jealous or is having complicated feelings about this? What if he was, how would that contextualize his behavior this season? Here's what I think based on how Blane dealt with explicit jealousy last season in a different situation". It's not impossible that person A is still missing further understanding due to their obsession with Blanebin, but at the end of the day this obsession has allowed them to start picking through the characters both in and outside this relationship. It has allowed them to see potential subtext and theorize on what might happen next with these characters' relationship. Not to mention that with addition of Corbin dating someone else, instead of trying to erase this fact or state that Corbin canonically isn't into that person, Person A is trying to factor in how Corbin's current dating life affects his relationship with Blane (irregardless on personal views on the nature of Corbin's relationship with the person he's dating).

Person B is also super into Blanebin. They really enjoy fanart and fic of the characters, love obsessing over their moments together, and just feel like there's really something between the characters. To person B, every moment between them is just further proof that the writers are ship teasing them. But Corbin getting together with someone else this season? Oh that pissed person B off. They cannot believe that even though Corbin and Blane are CLEARLY gay for each other the writers had Corbin get with someone else this season. Perhaps, they think, it was even a decision specifically made to spite fans. How evil of the writers to tease a perfectly good ship and then have them not get together first? They must have been just doing those teases to get views from Blanebin shippers those scoundrels. To Person B, since Corbin started dating someone when he obviously has some chemistry with Blane (even though the series is far from over) means that Blanebin can never get together now and Corbin x person he's dating is ruining Blanebin by existing. In fact, they think, this is terrible writing for Corbin to be dating someone else because they don't like that relationship and don't see the point. Obviously if the writers were good then Corbin would have started dating Blane instead because this was supposed to be the Blanebin show.

Person C despises Blanebin. Don't get them wrong, they've always enjoyed the character's childhood friendship, but they actually have always thought Blane would have been better off with Victoria. They have a lot of moments too! But they're tired of seeing people ship Blanebin. Corbin just got together with someone else, so obviously that's not gonna work out. Plus Corbin and Blane totally has always given person C bro vibes. In fact, person C thinks, sure Corbin and Blane have a close friendship, but people shouldn't be shipping them. Person C likes Blanetoria and Blanetoria can't be canon if Corbin is in the way of it. So Person C likes to read Blanebin as siblings anyways. Sure they're canonically friends, but obviously their friendship turned into brotherhood. This means that nothing can be in the way of Blanetoria and Corbin can keep dating the person he's already canonically dating. Actually, now Blanebin just straight up makes Person C uncomfortable. Don't the pesky shippers understand that Blanebin are sibling coded because they're childhood best friends and that they're important to each other because they're brothers? It's obvious to anyone with eyes.

Sure, ships are involved here, but is the root of this problem shipping? Character A isn't as knowledgeable of other characters in the plot due to this lens they're using, but at the end of the day they're dedicated to analysis. Their love of the characters is pushing them beyond what they like or dislike to try to understand what might be happening through their lens. Not perfect, but they are slowly broadening their horizons. But Person B and C's problems here are their restrictiveness. What is or should be canon to them is tantamount to what they personally like or find comfortable. Is person C actually analyzing the this fake show when they decide to "read" Blanebin as basically canonically siblings (and this all of their moments are totally a bro thing) just because they don't like Blanebin and the idea of them getting together over Blanetoria makes them uncomfortable? Is person B actually analyzing this fake show when their "analysis" of Blanebin goes only as far as asserting it's being ship teased and deciding anything short of canonizing Blanebin is a targeted attack or "bad writing" because it's not what they wanted personally to happen?

This is what I'm talking about. This is the mindset. Shipping isn't the problem. The problem is when people marry fanon and canon to the point where they have a vested interest in superimposing their fanon over canon as "a reading" and trying to make "collective decisions" on what is canon (or what canon is trying to say) based on what does or doesn't make them uncomfortable. The problem is people being restrictive and centering their own likes and dislikes in the conversation, so they can only interact with canon "analysis" wise by deciding what is canon or should be canon "as obviously agreed on by everyone". You can't simply claim you like media analysis. To be able to analyze media and bolster your views on any given canon, you must be open to looking at it through multiple povs, to studying characters without trying to pretend things you don't like don't exist or do like do exist. There is a balance that must be kept between trying to keep objectivity and putting on specific focus/bias based upon the lenses you're putting on. You have to be willing to try to figure out what a media is doing or saying, not saying you're trying to figure out what it's saying while in actuality trying to define the narrative around what people believe it's saying in ways that suit you.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.