#and i'm not infallible. i still want more from relationships that i like that maybe i'll get too

[doux-amer]

Thinking about it, it's not that I was lonely or anything growing up. I had a lot of friends and people I had fun with and talked to a bunch, but due to the way I was brought up, I wasn't able to really deepen and nurture those friendships. It's something that's impacted me to this day and at one point in my life, I became aware that some friends were not as close as I told myself they were except one particular moment, this wasn't because they did anything shitty (and that shitty thing wasn't done out of malice or intent), but it's that thing when you're young and you call everyone your close friends and you grow up and you realize lol, no they're just friends! And that's okay!).

And then I learned to see relationships I had with people very objectively (for the most part! I'm only human) which helped me be a more balanced adult and why I don't particularly get upset that certain friendships fade. That's just part of life, and when you're an adult, it's even harder to maintain a certain intensity and intimacy in friendships and a certain amount of interaction. I don't know if this is weird to say, but I think that's why I get taken aback and it means a lot to me when I have to recalibrate my perspective on a relationship because a good friend actually values what we have more than I expected.

Obviously, this is uncomfortable and bemusing when you know for a fact that their perspective isn't accurate and they're implying there's an intimacy there that in fact isn't, but when it's someone you care about and they level up the friendship like that...I'm not explaining things right. It hasn't happened much tbh even if I obviously had and have friends who have appreciated and celebrated our friendships and that means a lot too, that you know where you stand and you never have to question it, but there are some friendships where you realize oh...I mean a lot to this person. Oh, this is how much I mean to them or they like me this much?

[thefiresontheheight]

"...while these [corporate re-education] programs have shown evidence of marginal positive effects (Meredithe et al.) and continue to be employed (Kine-Veck), they ultimately run into the same limitations as A.I. on interstellar hauls infallibly loyal to those possessing their security codes. That is, once outside effective communication distance companies cannot rely on any positive reinforcement. For this reason, it has been suggested that re-education instead focus on loyalty to the rest of the crew, rather than loyalty to the company." - A Proposal for Use of Romantic/Sexual Re-education on Interstellar Haul Crews, Delivered to the Board of VeckQwenZemco on New Armstrong, Mars, 2998 CE. *** The divorce come down and turn around was brutal. One moment your brain and biochemistry and hormones, all carefully wired by the re-education modules, make you fully believe that you have long been in a deep, committed, passionate relationship with the six to eight other people on the haul. You look at them and even though you know you'll only spend a few weeks of subjective time with them, maybe a month or two on a longer job, only a brief window out of cryo and not lagged by relativity, even though you know what you gave the company your written consent to do, your brain still loves them. Then you pull into orbit over Eridiani, or Luna, or wherever, you probably bang one last time, say your tearful goodbyes, and spend the next few weeks crying like you just lost the love of your life as the chemicals wash out and the deprogramming modules hit. The moment is over. But time spent on a company station meant time wracking up debt for oxygen, water, food. So, still on the come down, Reade looked for a course, signed the wavers, gave her consent, grabbed the meager belongings that had gotten her through seven of these hauls, now dating from over forty years ago given the time lost to cryo and near-light travel. File down to concourse-E. Begin again. "Here for the haul?" the skinny low-g kid of her in the line said. "Um, VeckGreenQwenZemco 3043-28897?" Reade sized them up. New kid. First haul. She could smell it on them. In a few hours she'd probably love them and have her brain inventing all sorts of bullshit justifications for the neurochemical feelings the company would induce in her in order to improve team cohesion and morale trillions of miles away from anyone else. In a few hours she'd love them for their optimism, their smile, their cheery attitude and all the questions. But not yet. Right now, still awash in the last break up, Reade savored the simple joy of being a miserable bitch. "Kid," she said, with a malicious grin, "you're gonna love me in a bit. But you're still gonna remember this so I want you to get a good earful of it before the re-education. I'm fucking hate you and hate that I have to do this and if I could I'd throw you out a fucking airlock." She pulled her headphones on and cranked the volume. It hurt, in her chest, and the least she could do was make someone else hurt with her. That freedom, at least, she had for a few more minutes.

[ultfreakme]

Theres so much beautiful angst that can be written about clark and jon's relationship.

Clark losing his 10 yr old son only to find out that son is now 17. All the time and memoires that are now lost and can't be made.

Jon being traumatized by clark's from other universes. They have the same name as his father, wear the same symbol as his father, have the face face as him.

Jon waiting for his clark to save him but he never came.

Do you think Jon ever looks at his fathers face and sees the other clarks and not his father. Do you think he sometimes hates looking at his face because it's the same face that hurt him? Do you think he sometimes hates the symbol of his chest?

Gosh Clark not knowing how to react to and treat Jon is actually canon and he does miss it all, it's so obvious in the way he treats Otho and Osul. Clark loves Jon, he does, but it just isn't enough to cross this gap, this failure on his behalf to protect his son. Osul was about to get taken away in Action Comics and Clark gets furious because he let it happen once, he isn't letting it happen again.

Action Comics #1048

I used to headcanon that maybe Jon looked at the 'U' on Ultraman's chest to keep reminding himself that it isn't his dad, but there are some things you can't stop and memories like that are going to affect him no matter what. I don't get WHY they aren't letting Jon be traumatized, because HE IS. He's feeling alone and trying to reconnect in Action Comics and even in SOKE his motivations for his carefulness, and reuniting the flaming guy(Lachlan) with his family was about how he never wants anyone to be in his situation. I wish we got an entire arc focused on him processing, like let him express without being held to the impossible standard of Superman.

It's getting addressed as like a sub-sub plot in AC. He's trying to reconnect to Clark on his terms, in the ways they used to bond, but Clark and Lois aren't telling him anything clearly and are too busy for him. They're accomodating to the twins' trauma so they KNOW how to handle this but with Jon??? We never see anything more than "I'm so sorry that happened to you sweetie I bet it sucked you're so strong" and that's it. He's older but he's still seventeen. He's a teenager!

(painful, painful exhibits of Jon's discomfort and his attempts to go with Clois's flow)

I just, please check out axtion comics #1054 because Jon's a mess when the twins get kidnapped, and he's blaming himself saying it simply has to be him who rescues them because they got taken when they were under his care(clois left him to babysit them), and it's clearly because he's got this trauma, this mistrust and guilt and fear from the time he was under someone's care, waited for them to save him but they didn't come.

Also gosh Jon waiting to be rescued. It's clear he waited, and at some point he lost hope his dad's going to save him because then he started hoping for Nightwing. When he was 10, he idolized clark, saw him as infallible but he, at some point in the volcano, lost that trust in him.

I kinda do think Jon has some kind of....resentment, some negative feeling towards clark he can never express because he thinks he's the problem for his strained relationship with Clark, my heart breaks for him. He associates(or associated) being Superman with Clark not being around, he's got a complicated relationship with the 'S' because he's been considered an abomination, capable of future evil, a threat, and a danger. He doesn't want to be Superman with the same kind of passion as he did when he was 10. Now he's very careful with the title, and understands that people can fear it.

Which is why I think Jon alone having a changed 'S' is because perhaps, he's trying to stray further away from that image, and make it something his own. Hell, he's wearing black and red in 3/4 comics he appears in, instead of blue and red. Like he's distancing himself without really cutting off. And about seeing his own face, man it must be strange to go seven years without looking at yourself and finding a stranger in the mirror. It's like he can never, ever escape the marks the volcano and the torture left on him in any way.

Jon is such a tragic character and I really wish people would lean into it and explore that.

[squidkidnerd]

Operation Atlantis Notes - "An Inkling of the Past" (chapter 9)

Oh boy, this was a chapter. What can I say, this is basically like the semifinale of part 1. I've been pretty excited to get to this chapter, because it's the first time the darker elements I've been teasing since the beginning really come into focus. So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did writing it. And hey, I'm really on a roll now! I only posted last chapter a little over a month ago!

Now, I say I enjoyed this chapter, but really all the scenes got a major rewrite except for the turfing scene. That's okay, though, because I think my first draft was kinda just me writing to get it all out and hey. You can't edit a blank page. It's just interesting, because I usually finish my draft and send it right off to my betas, but this time I did some rewriting first. But, hey, it's here now.

The Title: Woohoo, the first time I'm actually talking about the titles! Not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I really like chapter titles. They add such flavor and character to a fic that I adore. For Operation Atlantis, it's hard to pin down what they actually represent as a whole, but it's a... certain vibe, for sure. This one is one of my favorites because of the double meaning ("inkling" as a hint but also "inkling" as in a literal inkling). Splatoon loves it puns and double meanings, so I'm glad I got to honor the series and put one here.

Opening poem: So... if you read this and were like "Hey, this seems familiar..." that's because it is. It is literally a mem cake poem from OE copy and pasted straight from the wiki. The reason for this is, well, I simply couldn't write anything better. It so perfectly encapsulates the themes of this chapter and I LOVE the line "But is our fate to spray this hate?" It so perfectly encapsulates Three and Eight and why their ship is so compelling to me. Because, well, is it? Are the destined to be like Cuttlefish, Octavio, and countless other octolings and inklings and repeat the cycle of the past? Or, can they break free from it? Only time will tell...

The Nightmare™: This scene was fun to write. I really enjoyed referencing Inner Agent 3, and timing the beats of the fight to Calamari Inkantation worked really well. I think it's interesting, because the Inkantation has become a very clear ongoing symbol by now. In most cases it represents freedom and hope, but here, it's almost menacing. Up until this point, Eight has remained very separated from the Octarians vs. Inklings conflict that drove her down to Atlantis in the first place—she's read about it, but reading about something is nowhere near the same from directly experiencing it herself. She learns that brutally well in this chapter.

Flawed mentor figures: This is something I've quite enjoyed exploring in Operation Atlantis as a whole. Oftentimes in media, mentors seem infallible to their mentees, being infinitely wiser and more experienced. However, in both these scenes with Eight and Iso Padre as well as Three and Cuttlefish (well, more so the Three and Cuttlefish scene later on, but), we see that neither of them are perfect at all. Both, actually, make a similar mistake—they ignore Three and Eight's feelings. For Iso Padre, it's definitely less intentional, but still. Just something interesting I wanted to point out.

Three and Viktor: Oh look, it's Viktor! I gotta admit, this scene is here purely for future plot reasons and not much else. At least I got to introduce Three to Brellas? Idk. Also, more exploration of Three using turf as a coping mechanism! It makes sense, you know, because it's familiar to her in a place where everything else is unfamiliar. So, yeah.

The Incident™: Oh boy. This scene is something we've been building up to for a while, starting all the way back in chapter 6... maybe even earlier. And I've gotta be honest, it perfectly encapsulates Three and Eight's relationship at this point at the story. They're friends, but both of them are ignoring and even refusing to acknowledge the dirty laundry between them... but the thing about dirty laundry is you have to wash it or else it'll start to stink. And that's exactly what happens here. Eight might not realize it, but deep down there's a part of her that's scared of Three. And Three well... she's a scary person to Eight. Both of them are forced to realize this. I also really enjoyed calling back to the first scene with the ink colors and also with Eight's hands—in the first scene, she hallucinates that there's blood and orange ink on them, and here, there actually is. Cool.

"She's not my enemy": This was a satisfying scene to write. Three's done a lot of growing in the past 9 chapters, from assuming all octolings are her enemies to realizing there's a bigger threat and then... now, this. She already told Eight this in chapter 8, but what makes so special here is that she's telling it to Cuttlefish, the man who instilled that idea in her in the first place. It's the first time she's telling him "No, you're wrong." So, for that reason, I like this scene. Three is finally calling him out on his bullshit! Somewhat! As soon as Cuttlefish (basically) threatens her, she backs down because well, she's scared that he might end up being right. But still, I'm proud of you, bestie. One step at a time.

"Do you know what it feels like to forget?": Another banger of a scene, this time from Eight. And well... what is there to say about this? We've been building up to it since the beginning. So far, Eight's arc has all been about finding her identity and asserting herself as a person, and well... here's the ultimate form of that. She's making a choice not for anyone else but herself. How will it go? We'll just have to see next chapter!

So yeah. To close out, I just want to mention something briefly about Side Order and its lore about sanitization and Eight's amnesia: I'm ignoring it. It's not canon to this AU. I've thought up something different a long time ago, and this already isn't canon compliant so I'm not changing it. Just wanted to clear that up officially.

Anyways... chapter 9! I can't believe we're here, honestly. Working on this fic over the past year or two has been rough, but I'm trucking along slowly but surely. Speaking of slowly but surely... after chapter 10, this fic will be going on hiatus. This is for several reason, the most major of which is that I'm burnt out and need to regain my motivation by working on other things. Those other "things" include Side Order fics! Yay! But rest assured, I will return to Operation Atlantis eventually. I really want to finish this story, and that's exactly why I'm going to take this hiatus. The last thing I want is to become so burnt out that I don't even want to continue anymore. So yeah. The hiatus doesn't have a set length yet, but probably to the end of the summer, if not longer. Not sure yet. But rest assured, neither me nor this fic is going anywhere!

And that's all. Happy Springfest!

[caatws]

If anyone got mad at you for calling Rocket a Raccoon they're not even worth taking seriously. Part of his arc was accepting he is in fact a Raccoon. How are people who supposedly love him missing that? He literally says at one point that his name is Rocket Raccoon.

Maybe it's because I've never been a huge Gunn fanatic the way some guardians fans are but I'm not understanding why people can't see he's not perfect or infallible when it comes to his writing. Gamora's called a green whore in vol 1 for no good reason. There's a whole running gag about Mantis being ugly in vol 2 that isn't all that funny or respectful to her character. Drax has his intelligence mocked for laughs in vol 3. I saw mcu fans up in arms about the Russo's making Thor a joke because of his drinking in EG but they think Gunn's writing is perfect. Many people were livid Natasha didn't get a funeral and only had her team talk once by the lake after she died. Gamora got no funeral, no moment of any kind from her team and nobody but Peter is sad she died. I love gotg but it's delusional to act like that's not a flaw.

I question if people watched vol 1 and 2 or IW before Gamora died. She had the second largest amount of screen time in all 3 movies. In vol 3 she has less screentime than all the main characters. In vol 1 and 2 she's the female lead with decent influence on the story. In vol 3 she's a side character with minimal development and her arc is understanding why her murdered counterpart had a relationship with Peter. In vol 1 the characters grow to care about her and this continues in vol 2 with multiple relationships built up. In vol 3 only Peter cares about 2018 Gamora and only Nebula cares about 2014 Gamora. In vol 1 and 2 Gamora was recognized as a prominent member of the Guardians of the Galaxy and you could find her included in a solid amount of merch as time went on. In vol 3 she's not made a member of the team, after the movie a lot of people don't consider her a hero and trying to find merch for her is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

This is only some of the issues and it's more than enough evidence Gamora's writing is not anywhere near the level it once was and her character is far less important in vol 3 than any other movie she's appeared in. If people want to argue with you they're lying through their teeth. Stay strong my friend!

Part of his arc was accepting he is in fact a Raccoon.

no bc literally i couldn't stop thinking abt this lmfaoooo

but yeah literally, gunn's writing when it came to the female and poc characters has always been....well it's Something. and it culminated in gamora's total demotion from co-lead of the franchise to estranged supporting character in vol 3.

i think what ppl are not realizing is that i would still have this same critique had any of the other characters esp the white and/or male ones had taken center stage like rocket did in vol 3 because of what had happened to gamora in iw/eg. like that was something that needed to be fixed or at the very least Addressed in some way, and whether it was rocket or drax or kraglin or whoever taking the lead in vol 3, i still would've been disappointed and frustrated by the lack of acknowledgement of the events of iw/eg (for Everyone too, not even with just what happened to gamora) and the lack of effort to at least give gamora her family back. and idk how many times i have to keep saying it, but just bc something is made to be in character doesn't make it a good story or ending for the character. like if gunn had written some grand tale where rocket just fucked off and left the gotg but made it in character would all these ppl be happy with that? doubt it!

[rennyji]

stereotypical Christians

Christians like my parents really put me off from Christianity.

To my dad's credit, day in and day out, for more than a decade, he sits in our living room, morning and night, and prays aloud in his dialect.

But the things he asks or says, are so...textbook style...

The biggest problem with the stereotypical Christian is that they think God will zap away problems, in place of the individual doing the work themselves.

God helps those who help themselves. Then there's the other expression: You do your part, and God will take care of the rest.

An example from school days? You want to do well on a test. Studying for the test is your part. Maybe getting a good night of sleep or drinking coffee/eating a snack, to help you study is another aspect of doing your part. Where God does the rest? He ensures the test is not something ridiculous you cannot handle, maybe He'll work some extra credit into the test through your teacher, maybe He'll put your teacher in a good mood to be an easy grader.

My dad and me barely talk. Whenever we do talk, we get into an argument. There are language barriers. There is something screwing with his neurotransmitters in not being at their optimal. There are his high morals. There's the fact that he grew up in a different time and place/culture & country. He has a fixation that his role in our relationship is to advise, and that his advice is always right. What he doesn't realize is that No one is perfect, but my dad still thinks his role as a father, makes him infallible, regardless of what the topic is. How do you deal with that? It sounds like every typical dad, but with my dad, I think there's genuinely some screws loose in his head, where this mentality is not expressing correctly.

What does my dad ask aloud in prayer, while I'm sitting on a massage chair in the same room? (yes, a weird setting, context, setup...moving on...)

My dad asks that "make Renny a new believer (what does that mean?), make him into someone who honors and respects his parents (implying I don't and that I'm just randomly lashing out vs. anger/frustration - ***not even sure how I came up with this word lashing out - ***probably from mind controlling troubled kids show to push me in their agenda- when my dad is in fact, acting stupidly), make Renny stop saying nasty language to me when I advise him (implying he's not getting why I'm getting angry at his superficial advice)...

And he has the poor sense of judgement to say all this aloud, while I'm sitting in the same room, happening to do something different...

It makes me wonder at times, is he praying for show? Is he doing his own little bit of mind control? It just seems wrong to even assume this about someone who sits there morning and night for 10+ years...But then, he's using prayer as an excuse to not listen to his son, not talk to his son, not understand his son's problems and actively try to help him/console him...I cannot help but wonder if he's using prayer, said aloud, to make him come off as a saint, while outside of prayer, constantly putting me on the spot with what he thinks as sinful or plain wrong. For one thing, in that regard, my dad thinks my snacking with chips and gummy bears is sinful. This is despite 36 years of no diabetes and still getting by. He's not correcting his perception and mindlessly asks God to make Renny stop buying things or stop eating unhealthy foods. What is it to him or me or anyone, whether I eat gummy bears? I don't care about my size - if anything I look like a hulk. If some horny white woman in the orchestrator's want me thinner, not even in their wildest dreams would I consider them. But going back to my dad, The things this man focuses on are so "out there", it's disturbing he's even thinking it when I'm going through mind control/mind reading.

[eimearkuopio]

Please forgive the ensuing word salad, you have been very helpful but I'm kind of stuck in runaway train of thought mode.

I think it might help, and I appreciate the effort. I'm less stressed about Catholicism than I was, and more concerned with... The less overt factions who seem to be more than sand on the beach?

I think my issue may be less of an issue than it feels like these days: Irish Catholicism for a very long time was a backlash against British Colonialism and it was very much the spiritual equivalent of "this partner doesn't hurt me as much as I'm used to so this definitely counts as a healthy relationship". The local Church where I am seems genuinely open to greater flexibility, and the synodal movement that Pope Francis is spearheading gives me great hope. But my own frustration comes from my personal experience of... Let's call it "channeling divine flow", because I might just be crazy but if I am then the Universe has decided to take advantage of the opportunity to recalibrate the settings? And I've been told my whole life that such a thing is impossible, and even suggesting it was possible would constitute a terrible sin, and I don't want this but someone needs to step up and I'm not leaving this mess for someone else in my family to clean up. I'm already a shattered vessel repaired via spiritual kintsugi. I think I'm strong enough to get through this mostly in one piece, but I'll be changed along the way no matter what.

Anyway, the Church claims Infallibility and even if they have limited that claim, it puts an absolute onus on them to ensure they communicate what it truly means to be Catholic (which isn't "do as we say or burn in Hell for all eternity" but entirely too many people only ever get that message), so heavy is the crown etc. I'm not a medical doctor but I'm desperately trying to be a physician and heal myself, and to write enough of it down to be helpful for others who are going through something similar. We'll see how it goes. The NHS is doing their best but they have been chronically underfunded for too long. The Church is trying to avoid making my situation worse, which I respect but it still feels frustrating at times. There seem to be a minimum of three other factions involved, and I'm just the ball in the Rube Goldberg machine that is idiots constantly intervening to prevent some great "calamity". Death is the price of living. Catholicism, in my experience, spends too much effort on using an unknowable afterlife beyond the singularity of death as a stick and a carrot, and I just think we need to stop handing all of our suffering to Hashem or Jesus and start building the Kingdom of Heaven here and now, because if we don't, I don't think there will be a next generation. If I could trade my death for their lives, I would; but instead, I have to keep living and pushing this stupid boulder up this hill, sustaining myself on mouthfuls of sinful liver, tormented by answers to questions nobody wanted to ask in the first place. So yeah. I'm definitely not your typical Catholic mess, but I think I'm in the process of inventing something called Quantum Religion that might or might not let us resolve a bunch of BS, but if I'm very lucky writing it down and handing it over to the appropriate authorities will be enough to let me just be a regular person.

God is Love. I stole my shoelaces from the Precedent. Not me, not yet. These are the code phrases I've either recognised or created, and even I don't know yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Part of what makes Christianity at large not a cult is there is no Secret Knowledge. It's all there. You can't level up.

My sister, discussing gnostic heresies

[undiscovered-horizon]

"Moving houses" - Yandere!Billy Russo x Reader

[TW: obsessive behavior/yandere trope + an allusion to sexual assault]

SUMMARY: [continuation to 'There's something in the shadows'] Sometime after Diane breaks things off with you, and you think your life is back on track, another calamity decides to happen. When your landlord suddenly decides to raise your rent way above what you can afford, Billy Russo is more than ready to help. His plan might just be infallible.

[Continuation: 'The art of deception']

Author's note: The people have spoken. This is long overdue.

Taglist: @tnrthings

"You alright there, princess?" He noticed how absentminded you have been throughout lunch, mixing your poke bowl with disinterest. Even the avocado slices were left untouched when he knew it was the first thing you ate out of the dish. Billy had asked you to lunch so many times it quickly became a habit that the two of you met every day, same hour and same place.

"I'll have to move out," you murmured while stabbing the innocent rice dish with your spoon. "My landlord raised the rent and now I can't afford my condo. I have barely two weeks to find a new place."

Billy was a reasonably good actor for a former soldier, something he probably picked up being a businessman, and so it was quite easy for him to restrain the excited smile that was begging to come out, to express his joy at the turn of events - everything was going his way.

How much a simple phone call can do!

"So what you gon' do?" he asked in a worried tone (really, where did he learn such convincing acting?). Billy knew very well what you were going to do, sooner or later. Failure was not an option, not to him.

"I dunno," you stirred your lunch with disinterest. "A few weeks ago I would have immediately called Diane, you know? Damn, I would even be happy for a prolonged sleepover with her." You sighed heavily. Billy tightened his grip on the fork he was holding, suddenly worried that the conversation was starting to derail from what he planned. "Now that I'm telling you this, I remembered that I run to Ashton yesterday. He started to ask whether Diane and I were good? Apparently, she had been acting weird with everyone before, you know...Don't take it personally, Billy, because I really like you, a lot actually but I can't help feeling like everything is so much harder without Diane. I miss that girl."

Annoyed, Billy made a mental remark to make sure Ashton takes a longer leave from work or his mother needs emergency medical attention. That guy was definitely running his mouth a little too much. Along with those thoughts came a wave of red anger at your statement: you missed Diane? That wench that stood between him and you? That would surely dissuade you from engaging in this relationship? Or, perhaps, you simply weren't seeing it yet, your judgment maybe was still clouded by the affection you used to have towards Diane.

Yes, Billy thought to himself, she will see it soon enough. It was necessary.

"Maybe I could couch surf?" You were thinking out loud. "I probably don't even know that many people."

You really were trying his patience, although unknowingly. Couch surfing? He would never let you sleep on someone's couch, no matter how well you claimed to know its owner. Billy knew human nature pretty well and that made him sure that there was simply no one on God's green Earth he would trust with your safety. Those people on whose couches you would sleep, how could he be sure they had good intentions towards you? No, it was a dangerous gamble and if it was you the gamble was about, he wasn't taking any.

"You can stay at mine," he said in the most neutral tone he could muster, which was quite difficult: the sole thought of having you sleep at his apartment was making him beyond ecstatic.

"I can't do that Billy, you already do so much for me," you vaguely shook your head as you spoke, which he found charming. "I just don't have the heart to abuse your kindness."

"I want to help you out, sweetheart," he answered.

For a moment you fell silent, thinking about his offer. Billy's eyes were stuck to you, watching your face for any indication of your decision. He had spent plenty of time playing out all possible scenarios of this conversation and preparing for each outcome. Feeling sure of himself and his subjectively infallible plan, Billy was relaxed - whatever conclusion you should come to, he knew how to make you move in anyway.

"I promise to move out as soon as I sign a lease."

No, you won't. You won't even get to that stage.

"You really are a successful businessman," you said slowly as you looked around Billy's apartment. It was worthy of being on the cover of some interior design magazine. "Maybe I won't move out," you joked, which earned a soft chuckle from him. How blissful ignorance can be.

Little did you know, that's exactly what's going to happen.

"Take the bedroom, I can sleep on the couch," he offered.

"No, Billy, this is your house! I'm not kicking you out of your bed."

"And you're my guest. I'll be fine."

"Can I at least help with the chores? I don't want to feel like I'm leeching off of you."

Although his initial plan did not involve letting you do housework, your sudden request made Billy imagine you making dinner while he comes home from work, which in turn made him question the integrity of the said former plan. The pet name "princess" that he had given you wasn't just a show of affection but rather what his obsession made him treat you like and that meant that, by default, you weren't supposed to be involved in any type of work. But the sudden conjuration of the domestic picture made Billy change his mind almost immediately.

"Alright," he said as his imagination, unattended, began conjuring new images of a homely life with you. It's not like he hasn't thought of those moments before, no, they were on his mind daily but now that you were standing in his living room, slightly embarrassed, his domestic fantasies became more real than ever.

You falling asleep on him while watching a movie; you wearing only his t-shirt around the house; him bringing you coffee in the morning, while you're barely awake...the possibilities were endless.

Evening came and Billy was reading a memoir of some secret military platoon during World War 2. Your footsteps on the hardwood floor surprised him as he thought you were already asleep. He looked up from his book as he felt the couch dip under your weight. You were wearing just a sweatshirt and leggings ending above your knees. Billy inhaled sharply, momentarily having to fight a primal urge to just take you. He was bigger, stronger than you, he could easily do it.

"Sorry for interrupting," you began in a sheepish voice. You placed a glass of whiskey he hasn't noticed before right in front of him. "But I really wanted to thank you before calling it a day. It means a lot to me that you're letting me stay, although you are a bit throwing me for a loop when you're already doing so much for me and want nothing in return...I don't know if I can ever pay you back, Billy."

"I don't want you to," he answered in a low voice. "I'm just glad I can help you out, princess."

You looked away for a moment, still feeling embarrassed about the entire situation. Billy's eyes remained glued to you, devouring the image of you being in his house, wearing pajamas and looking, to some degree, comfortable. Homely.

"Right, I should be going to sleep," you said quietly as you got up from the couch. "Gotta get me out of your hair first thing in the morning, right?"

Billy didn't answer. Instead, he smiled to himself, knowing that you're not getting out of his hair anytime soon, if ever. Now he just had to devise a plan to share his bed with you. Maybe he'll 'get drunk and accidentally fall asleep on the bed' one night?

[niicevibe]

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐒𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞 + 𝐘/𝐍 𝐇𝐂𝐬

Hello again, everyone. I've come to you on this fine day with some headcanons for Sōsuke Aizen. I hope the things I provide to you on this god-like specimen don't disappoint; however, you'll be disappointed.

I... don't know why his was so hard to write for considering I simped for this man for a majority of the 2010s... so this is a little shorter than I'd wanted and I apologize.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: manipulation, "subtle" emotional abuse; a mention of Stockholm Syndrome; a mention of n/sfw (kind of) for the sake of explanation.

𝐇𝐂 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐌𝐇𝐀, 𝐉𝐉𝐊, 𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡, 𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐨, 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 + 𝐂𝐒𝐌 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦…)

I can make an easy comparison and simply say that Sōsuke Aizen is like The Joker, but he's so much more than a man that wears clown makeup all the time. I won't even put this lightly because we all know how manipulative this man is -- manipulative, and hot.

And he's well-aware that you think that he is. Absolutely nothing gets by him and it never has. He probably knew you'd be attracted to him before you even knew. He's not very tied to his emotions, and in fact, he'll utilize them like a weapon because it's easier for him that way. But while this is the case, he wouldn't involve himself with someone unless you both shared similar ideologies.

Dare I say, he could even be demi-romantic and demi-sexual. I wouldn't doubt it.

He is not a man who would tolerate a weak partner, not that he'd be likely to ever consider you equals, but you'll need to at least be on a certain level that he can't consider you less than some sort of insect. There's a chance that any semblance of a relationship might turn out to be one-sided, or that you would simply exist for him as a form of amusement.

He is one hundred percent a sapiosexual -- someone who finds intelligence highly attractive.

We know that he's a deep down kind of person when it comes to his true emotions. He's good at hiding what he's truly thinking and feeling until he becomes painfully honest about them, something that's a rare feat, however, if you're around, he might just be a little less jaded about things. Maybe.

He's likely allowed you into his life as some kind of cover story, something to make blending in to his surrounding society more doable -- He doesn't need easier, not at all. He's planned things so far ahead into the future that he knows it's foolproof.

For example: Where was "he" when the Hollowfication events to place? With you, of course... working on tasks together...

It's hard to say whether Sōsuke would use his Kyōka Suigetsu on you, but he'd be that untrusting, I'm sure, so he'd hypnotize you anyway, just in case you'd even think about betraying him. Would he make it known to you that he's done it? Definitely. He's not going to bother hiding it, and he hangs it over your head like a pendulum.

You won't be an exception to his manipulation tactics. If Sōsuke wants something out of you, there's no method he won't use in order to get what he wants. He has no shame the attempt, either.

He's still, quite obviously, human. Soul Reapers are always so worried about their mortality; their infallibility; their egos drive them, fuels their souls. Sōsuke would argue this to his death, that he could never be so weak, that even being a Soul Reaper is so below him. But you've seen him through it all, through his sudden decision to enact such an insane plan, to seeing things to near-fruition. You know the truth.

Sōsuke isn't someone who desires to be vulnerable -- not in battle, not in any sort of a relationship. It's not in the cards, and it's not something he's planned for from a decade ago. The fact that he's decidedly candid with you? It's one of the biggest surprises of your life.

But you're so whipped by him that you'll take what you can get.

Though maybe it's even Stockholm Syndrome and not just "whipped" because, well, he's Sōsuke Aizen.

He still has a major superiority complex, and that won't go away any time soon. There's a high chance that he'll end up talking down to you if you decide to stick around.

If any affection that comes from the man happens to be genuine, you'll find him to be quite possessive. He's not a man of jealousy, nor will he ever be, but you'll be his, an object, a possession. Sōsuke won't ever make it so obvious that you are an object to him because he's just so charming.

You're one of the few people to use his first name rather than calling him "Aizen". Saying "Sōsuke" at him invokes a sensation of being equals, and he knows that's why you say his first name. He allows it, keeping you on the edge of feeling some kind of control.

The whole situation he's concocted might stress you out a little. Whether you're on the side of the Soul Society or on Aizen's side, you know there won't be a great outcome and so for the majority of the war, you try your best to remain a neutral party, for the sake of things.

Don't bother being overly emotional around Sōsuke; he genuinely won't bother to care of your feelings. If they happen to come out around him, he's likely to ignore them. You shouldn't bother seeking emotional validation from Sōsuke, either; you just won't get it.

You have to be something of a constant interest to him, otherwise you won't even be in his sights. He wouldn't be an extremely passionate partner, with you initiating most of the interactions between you two. And, intimacy is rare. Seriously, expect very little of it.

Shunsui will allow short visits to Sōsuke during his stay in Muken, something that amuses the imprisoned man greatly -- Why bother? Seriously. He'd find it laughable whenever you show up, but you'll still give him updates on the Seireitei and its condition. But he did once call it his Soul Society. You're doing him an unnecessary kindness.

[shih-coulda-had-it]

I haven't pelted you in a few days so, Reasons they pretend to have a relationship: 03. asshole ex that Gran can't admit he still loves, combined with 27. Messy public breakup, Nana or En claims to be with Gran.

okay kitten i need you to remember that we Totally Agreed that musharino (mushahiko?) exes was on the table. and disclaimer, the nanahiko needs like 500 more words to really be explicit, but i made a promise to myself that i'd stick to less than 1k ficlets.

03. "my ex is an asshole, and I really don't want them to think I'm still in love." + 27. "i had a really ugly, public break-up at the office, so a week later, you start telling people that we're together so people will stop looking at me with sad eyes" | musharino (exes), nanahiko (implied) | wc: ~980

This one, I think, could use a summary blurb.

Sorahiko’s a U.A. teacher who has literally just lost all his hard-won reputation as an infallible pro-hero because Yoroi Musha ended their relationship in front of all the staff and students, but thank GOD (sarcastic) that Toshinori’s there to tattle to Nana.

//

There is truly one thing worse than Recovery Girl’s lectures about why Gran Torino shouldn’t be terrorizing his students and ricocheting off surfaces like his body was rubber instead of flesh: Recovery Girl expressing concern over his emotional wellbeing.

“Listen, Torino,” she sighs, after trapping him in her office over a (totally overblown) fractured rib. “You don’t just break up with somebody in front of the school gates. That’s like, some serious drama. Enraptured audience included.”

“It wasn’t,” he bites out, “serious.”

“Again, if that was true, Yoroi Musha wouldn’t have staged… that…”

Sorahiko feels his lip curl in distaste over the memory. The initial surprise of seeing Yamamoto’s ornate gear and red cloak standing tall at the U.A. gates; the quiet happy flutter of, ‘He’s visiting where I work!’, in his stomach while he hastily wrapped up the final period.

And when he’d met Yamamoto below, Sorahiko had been given a rude wake-up call.

//

“I don’t think this relationship is working,” said Yamamoto carelessly. There’s a sense that he’s rehearsed this, and there’s also no indication of remorse. “You need to move out by Monday, Gran Torino.”

“Wait,” said Sorahiko. “What?”

As the heavily-armored pro-hero surveyed U.A. with a clinical eye, Sorahiko scrambled to make sense of where he steered wrong. Yes, he’d known that Yamamoto was younger--a good deal younger, and better off, financially--but Sorahiko wasn’t being some--parasite--

Maybe he shouldn’t have moved in. He wasn’t the best roommate; he supposed he wasn’t even that good of a bedmate, either. Too absent.

“--just goes to show, that it already feels like we’re having a long-distance relationship,” Yamamoto continued, “and now that my career is poised to reach a wider demographic, I think it’d be best to part ways.”

“A wider demographic,” he echoed. He could hear the student body in the distance, chattering, stomping, laughing.

“Yoroi Musha is catching the eyes of those who appreciate our country’s history. MEXT’s own Agency for Cultural Affairs is promising to sponsor my next set of armor.”

“That’s--nice. Congratulations.”

“So,” Yamamoto said patiently, yet in a severe tone that he must have picked up from Sorahiko, “the image I need to present must be honorable. I have learned much from you, Gran Torino, but my path is not yours.”

Every word sounded so articulated, and apparently that translated to reasonable, because the bright orange eyes looked like they were expecting a response. An acceptance? Sorahiko struggled to put together an answer that wasn’t an expletive-laced rant.

“I can’t just move out by Monday,” Sorahiko finally said. Even if Shimura was willing to host him on her couch for a month while he hunted for a studio, the last-minute nature of this situation struck him as wrong.

“It’s not as though you own much.”

Well, that stung. Sorahiko bared his teeth at Yamamoto; his hackles rose; the students at the forefront of the pack had stifled their conversations into a gossipy murmur. It wasn’t like Yoroi Musha and Gran Torino were indistinguishable from other adults.

“Where does your salary even go? You’re a pro-hero and employed by U.A., so I imagine you’ve socked away enough money to not need mine.”

“Be quiet,” he hissed.

The money went to the Sky High agency’s rent; it also went towards Toshinori’s tuition. Shimura took care of the civilians’ pay, and she housed and fed Toshinori.

He’d gotten too comfortable with Yamamoto.

Quickly, so quickly it left Gran Torino himself with whiplash, Yoroi Musha’s mood flipped. “Why should I?” he demanded, the severity of his tone gaining a touch of wounded authority. His volume increased too. “Am I some dirty secret to be cultivated on the side? I provide you a home, with all that entails, and my love, for all the good it’s done me!”

Love? Sorahiko wasn’t going to touch that with a ten-foot pole.

He gritted his teeth as Yamamoto elaborated on all the G-rated ways Sorahiko had failed to reciprocate (because God knew all the ways Sorahiko had debauched himself for this arrogant asshole).

Humiliation settled rather firmly on Sorahiko’s shoulders as Yoroi Musha declared himself ruined for future loves, vowing chastity and a renewed passion for heroics: the purest ideal there was to have in this crumbling society.

And everybody clapped.

//

The student body’s grapevine flourishes; most of them believe the surface-level bullshit Yoroi Musha had spouted, if only because Gran Torino had gotten himself on their shitlist. On the other hand, Sorahiko’s colleagues eye him with nauseating pity.

Recovery Girl is the first to ask delicate questions; Principal Shi is the next to pry, but Sorahiko doesn’t mind her interrogation as much.

Easier to answer whether or not he’ll be distracted (nope) or singled out by tabloids (nah; Yoroi Musha isn’t that interesting of a subject to interview), compared to Toshinori’s single query made a week later: “Are you gonna tell oshishou that you had a boyfriend on the side?”

“She knew,” Sorahiko deflects.

“Okay, but does she know that you got dumped?”

“Nobody got dumped. Stop listening to gossip.”

Toshinori, being a judgmental sixteen year old, says, “It sure looked like being dumped to me, Torino-sensei.”

“What the hell do you know,” he grouses, and shoos Toshinori out of the classroom. Sorahiko needs, like, an hour and a half for the majority of U.A. to filter out of the grounds, and he’d like to spend it in some goddamned peace before embarking on patrols.

//

As it turns out, Toshinori knows enough to start trouble.

//

Shimura’s smile is tight with nerves, and attempting to be as reassuring as possible. This all makes sense, because for some reason, Shimura is in the teacher’s lounge, perched on the couch in civilian clothes with a steaming mug of coffee in hand (that’s his mug).

Sorahiko blinks, nonplussed.

“I knew it!” crows Sound-Off, lifting her own mug of honeyed tea in his direction. “I knew Yagi-kun was your son!”

[rainydayhues]

I think I'm finally (maybe?) starting to understand how Tumblr works! Reupping some of my overly long The Rookie/Chenford/season 4 thoughts below!

Hello! Long time anon lurker but it’s been a ~week~ and I am feeling the need to channel it somewhere! This is solely meant to be my thoughts/opinions on the Chenford discourse lately and to serve maybe as a point-counterpoint and offer an alternative perspective. Not meant to offend at all! I think we can agree the best way to fan out is multiple perspectives and thoughtful criticisms! I’ve enjoyed all the varying opinions over the past few weeks and thought I could maybe share some of mine below.

Season 4 in general - I’ve seen thoughts and agree that the show has seemingly struggled to find its footing and pacing in a post season rookie era. The mix of partners, wilder storylines, introduction of new characters (looking at you Bailey and Ashley!). I’m still enjoying the show but also taking it for what its meant to be - a lot of the writers/producers come from Castle which while a “dramedy” oft jumped the shark with crazy storylines and started to get a little hokey at times. I don't see this show as being a Chicago Fire/PD procedural so maybe that’s why this part hasn’t bothered me as much. I would still love to see some of the grittier storylines make a come back and a layer of serious/emotional character driven storylines. But as someone who watched Castle for years, none of this surprises me or bothers me much. I take the storylines with a grain of salt and instead choose to focus on the characters I love and ship.

Tim as a character - Lots of very valid analyses on his characterization and the changes he’s gone through. I will agree that I do miss a bit of the edge he had in earlier seasons but I’m not mad at the growth either! I will say, I don’t see him as some sort of flawless and infallible character. I think he struggled to find his footing as a new Sergeant, even just in roll call and the way he spoke. It’s something I think you see Grey keep an eye on. And yes, he over injects himself into the work and doesn’t know how to delegate at first, which Grey calls him on. He needs to learn how to positively reinforce his people as seen with the offering praise comment. I also think we have more to see when it comes to his relationship with his sister and father and I have a feeling he may still be learning to grow when it comes to those relationships. Basically, I’m not yet seeing him as some sort of pillar of morality BUT will agree that I do hope for some better storytelling for him.

Lucy as a character - Now this is a big one. I hear and see the critiques of her character serving as a plot device for the men or sidelines love interest who’s gotten to come across as immature. I struggle with this characterization. I think Lucy’s stayed pretty true to character:

1) She was always the hot shot, over achieving rookie who took a psych approach to a lot of her work. It doesn’t surprise me at all that she’d learn French to follow a case or petition to be Tim’s aide for a promotion. She had Angela take that case because the do-gooder in her couldn’t stand to see an elderly woman taken advantage of. She offers her perspective and friendship to Aaron and she’s still the warm and open person I believe we met in season 1. She was still tasked with solving the riddles and cracking the code proving her abilities to Grey once again.

2) Sergeant’s Aide -  I don’t think her “jealousy” in that moment was jealousy at not being picked by the teacher but moreso that she knew deep down that Tim liked working her, he admitted he’d miss riding with her. She knew he wanted to pick her and didn’t understand why he didn’t just say it (until he explains his reasoning). That whole interaction came across as “why don’t you just admit it, I know that you know we should be working together” to me.

3) The egg freezing - I know that this one upset some folks and again, not to take away from any of that. This is just my takeaway - as someone similarly aged to Lucy, I got her perspective. This is something that weighs on my mind but then I also think I’m too young to be thinking this way and that I have so much time ahead of me. I also understand asking for 1000 opinions and didn’t blame Tim for his pragmatic answer, it’s truly one way of looking at it. And yes, her mother was overly involved but also, mothers meddle! And from what we’ve seen of Mrs. Chen, moving in and reorganizing Lucy’s apt, offering unsolicited opinions on Lucy’s job, it seemed on brand. It’s not ideal but its something another character in Lucy’s life brought up. And my true takeaway here is that by the end, Lucy was empowered to make her own choices - she chose to get a consultation, not an appt to move forward but just something to get more information without commitment. Knowledge is power and therein lies her power/choice in my opinion.

4) Lucy’s arc - I genuinely think we haven’t gotten to Lucy’s arc yet. My guess is it’s more of something we’ll see in 4B, particularly with AH saying at the start of the season that Lucy still had more to learn about UC, etc. In the meantime, I’ve enjoyed getting to see her interact with Angela and Harper some more. Though, yes, if we’re going to pair Tim and Lucy together, let’s absolutely get some more shop content/convo!

- And finally, the Chenford of it all! Again, I see/hear/appreciate all the different takes on this. I think AH did not set out with the intention of this couple but chemistry and writing dictated that and took over. I’ve seen a lot of discourse on what the intentions of the writer’s room are when it comes to this pairing but I am firmly in the camp of it’s going to happen. I think that decision has been made and there’s no turning back. Yes, they’re absolutely slow rolling the rollout of it which I don’t appreciate. We don’t need more love interests but sure, fine, we can deal - if they give us the emotional depth of the Chenford friendship (which I still think we see/will get more of). AH reminds of me other show creators (DH from Chicago Fire) who never wants to commit outwardly to speaking or getting excited about a couple but I think at this point he’s on board. He says things like 3x14 was up for interpretation but then writes 4x01 with scenes of them thinking of each other from opposite rooms and of course Lucy’s “Tim please be careful”. It’s just unnecessary if there are no plans to circle back. Closing the loop and bookends are something I’ve seen and tracked often in procedural type shows like this (Castle and Bones to name a few) and I don’t think we got that episode and those scenes for no reason. I wish we’d get to a little bit more on that front and agree with many folks who have voiced that. But I really still believe this ship is sailing without question. I hope they are able to get us to a place of forward movement/emotional depth by the end of 4x09 and then continuing that (even if it’s with Ashley and fwiw, I don’t need it but if done well, I could see some good content coming out of it)

Anyways, overall, I probably have more thoughts but these were just the most immediate and if you made it this far, thank you and also, I'm sorry! I just had SO many thoughts and hoped to offer a bit of perspective from someone who’s actually enjoying the season so far and sees the light. Again, let’s all play nice and be respectful and share positive discourse! Let me know your thoughts if you’re so inclined!!

[camdentown-library]

For the emoji/name thing what about 🤬 and Dutch?

𝕺𝖍, 𝖆 𝖇𝖔𝖔𝖐 𝖋𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖔𝖋𝖋 𝖆 𝖘𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖋, 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖎𝖙 𝖇𝖊?

Summary: Dutch seems like a stranger to you now and maybe it's time to take a step back.

Genre: angst

Pairing: Dutch Van der Linde x fem!reader

Strangers. That's what you and Dutch were now, two complete strangers.

After months of a rather passionate relationship, as if by magic you woke up from that disenchantment, as if that fascinating man had put a strange kind of spell on you.

How could you have been so stupid as to think that a man like Dutch Van der Linde could even remotely love you?

Did you not know, really, it was probably the fact that you were much younger than Dutch, he had more experience in life and knew how to turn the situation in his favor, on the other hand you were naive as a lamb, the perfect prey for a wolf like him.

The sun had now set on the field, and your miserable bag that collected all your luggage was now finished and prepared. Observing Dutch's tent once again, an annoying knot of resentment enveloped your throat: who knows how many jokes your teammates had made about your relationship?

You didn't need anyone's compassion, much less a fake act of do-gooding. You weren't a defenseless woman like others in the camp, you were able to defend yourself, know how to handle a gun and you certainly had more sense of direction than anyone around you. You would surely have started a better life again without any problem, perhaps on a ranch or in some modest county, on the other hand your fame could never be tarnished like that of your partner.

Dutch was on the verge of no return, while you ... well ... could still save yourself.

"YN! Darlin '! What are you doing?" the familiar voice of the gang leader caught your attention while without getting on the saddle you led your horse outside the perimeter of the field, without turning around to give him your look.

"I'm going shopping," you replied, lying very badly.

"In the middle of the night?" Dutch asked sarcastically, then took a big hit of his cigar and tossed it away.

"Yes, in the middle of the night" you repeated, not daring to slow down, while the man with the pitch-colored mustache began to speed up to be closer to you and not raise his voice.

"And where do you intend to go? On the other side of America? Because I see that you have packed your bags and in my tent there is no longer anything that belongs to you" the man began to explain knowing what topic he was touching.

"It amazes me that it took you so little Dutch. I could have sworn the bare minimum would have been after four days" you replied with a very sharp laugh.

"Okay woman, stop playing games. Come here and let's talk about it as grown-ups" Dutch said impatiently grabbing you by the arm so that you turn towards him.

"And what would you like to talk about, Van der Linde? About your next bankruptcy plan? About the next rich family you want to cheat without taking into account the lives of your buddies? Or ... I don't know you want to talk about Mary-Beth and how fantastic she is and interesting?" you asked then, throwing all your patience to the hell, you were in the middle of the bush, no one would have heard you if you lost your temper. Dutch raised an eyebrow in disapproval as he put both hands on the thick leather belt.

"Put your next words very carefully, little girl" he replied in a very dangerous intonation that you had rarely heard from his lips. A stranger certainly wouldn't have caught the difference between his annoyed tone and his normal tone, but you did and you knew what Dutch Van der Linde was capable of if he lost control of himself. But did that matter to you? Probably not anymore.

"Why? Because they could hurt your thin ego" you asked defiantly, then shaking your head, the grip on your arm tightened.

"Because you may not know what you are talking about" but of course, obviously for this occasion too your partner had prepared an infallible Socratic epic in favor of him.

"Really? For once I think instead I know perfectly well what I'm talking about, and please don't tell me that mine are whims of a child. Now let me have this arm Van der Linde" you ordered trying to unglue his strong and wide hand off, but Dutch didn't seem to give up.

"Really, Y/N? I instead see in front of me a frightened little girl who is running away from her problems instead of solving them as an adult and mature woman. You are probably doing it because you also know that this infallible pretext is convenient for you to leave your family behind" This was too much, how dare he tell you such a thing? You had done everything for the gang, you had donated so many supplies and money, you always wanted to come back with a mission accomplished and without mistakes. You wouldn't have let Dutch demean you like that just because for once, you had decided to take care of yourself.

Without even thinking about it, your hand flew over the man's face, leaving him a loud slap on the cheekbone. There was a deadly moment of silence and although you were shocked by your own non-calculating action, you took advantage of the moment to get on your steed.

"Fuck you, Dutch Van der Linde" you said indignantly and grittedly as you put your hat on your head, so as to cover your disappointed and hurt gaze. Whoever the man you loved was, you lost him in Blackwater or maybe in the freezing mountains of Colter "The truth is that I saw you for who you are, what keeps you afloat are still that bunch of deluded ones who follow you faithful as if I were the fucking Messiah. The time will come when all your tangles will come to a head, and I will watch from afar"

The man still shaken by that slap, felt the blood in his veins boil with anger, probably sprung from having lost his favorite toy, or because he was right after all, sooner or later even Dutch's faith would falter and like a house of cards he would collapse.

"You will have no protection out there, Y/N. I give you the chance to get off that horse and go back to the field, and I will forget everything that came out of that mouth of yours" the man proposed, placing both hands towards you, as if if he were trying to convince a person not to jump off a bridge.

"The only person they really want is you, Dutch. I'm not the one they want hanged" you poisonously commented, reminding him of the words and threats of the Pinkertons "Goodbye Dutch, remember. You could have had the most precious treasure in the world: a family. But your insatiability and your ego are taking you into the water and where it is impossible for me to save you" you threw him one last look, this time more melancholy "And I'm not going to sink with you" and with that last sentence, your horse started at a gallop, leaving the man you loved impaled like a fool in the middle of the bush.

He did not follow you, because on the other hand, he too knew that you were just an ornamental object in his tent, but how much pride do you have to put aside to just say "you're right"?

On the other hand, you did not turn around, even if the desire was so much, the cold wind of the night caressed your soft hair, while the stars illuminated your path, towards a new life. How much dignity would you have had to put aside to tell him one last time: "I loved you"?

Too much, and your pockets had long since emptied, like Dutch Van der Linde's heart.

𝕿𝕳𝕰 𝕰𝕹𝕯

𝕯𝖔 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖇𝖔𝖔𝖐 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖓𝖎𝖈𝖍𝖊? 𝕺𝖗 𝖉𝖔 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖎𝖙 𝖆𝖌𝖆𝖎𝖓?

[stellocchia]

I really don't think they will, but I think it'll be very interesting if they incorporate the Syndicate's radio silence concerning Techno's imprisonment into the lore, even if it was not intentional.

(This is also bc I'm a bit ehhh abt the Syndicate having like next to no on-screen relationship moment and suddenly bam they're apparently ride-or-die)

Like Technoblade, the ever-confident man he is, starts to crack from how long his supposed friends are taking to do *anything* about his situation. And even when they break him out, he's still miffed bc even Philza, *his closest friend*, takes so long to act.

This isn't me just looking for angst, I just... Really want c!Techno to have character development. Just. Change a bit. See that he's not so infallible after all. Maybe kickstart something for c!Phil too. Idk. I really think c!Techno has big potentials as a character that's rly underexplored.

Again I don't think they'll do this bc the radio silence is partly bc of scheduling issues, and there's also cc!Techno's aversion to serious rp, but I still think it's a neat little idea.

I honestly think that them doing something like that is the only way I could start caring about the Syndicate again to any degree. Because, as things are right now... I just don't.

They're hardly a group! They interacted like, 3 times? And I'm supposed to think they're actual friends?

Like, am I just gonna have to accept that c!Phil, c!Techno's closest friends, took over a month to do anything about his friend being trapped? Probably. Am I gonna like it? No honestly. Especially if c!Techno has no reaction to it.

That said I can imagine c!Dream being like: "Man... even I had more visitors during my first month here. Didn't you say you had friends?"

And that's hilarious to me so I'm gonna ignore all of my frustration with the situation and focus on the fact that c!Dream could, if he wanted, get under c!Techno skin and get him into the mentality that they can only count on each other. It may be fanon, but I don't care!

[n1kolaiz]

ENTJ + INFJ DYNAMIC

BSD MANGA CHAPTER 54-57 SPOILERS

Chapter 54 introduced Mushitaro Oguri, and his background involving Yokomizo was ever so intriguing to me. So unfortunately, here I am.

Mushitaro and Yokomizo's dynamic:

The 'Commander' meets the 'Idealist.'

Alright, I won't go into the details about the case of Yokomizo's death, because there's no way in hell I can explain it fluently at all. So if you need further reference to what these few chapters are about, popopretty's post would elaborate on the details and whatnot.

Before I start, here's a bit of little introduction to both individual characters:

MUSHITARO OGURI

Mushitaro appears to take a lot of pride in his ability, which contributes to his arrogant complex altogether. He had his own desires and goals, and lived out his days just to fulfil them.

His ability is called the 'Perfect Crime,' which allows him to erase any trail of evidence pertaining to whatever crime he had committed. Hence, he is also known as the 'infallible Detective-killer.'

Until Ranpo proved him wrongヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉﾞ

His personality type is most likely 'ENTJ,' the 'Commander.'

- ENTJs are known to have exceptional leadership skills. They are confident in themselves and what they do; basically, they don't have the tendency to second-guess what they are capable of. This explains Mushitaro's ambition to achieve his ends, and his ability goes the extra mile of complimenting his success rate greatly. Whether his motives or the end results were morally good or evil, it didn't matter to Mushitaro— as long as his wishes were fulfilled.

"With tyrants and demons, I'll make deal with a demon. That's in my nature."

- They're also quite outspoken with their opinions. It's a fairly minor detail, but this shows why he wasn't afraid to express the distaste he had for mystery novels to Yokomizo— including the extravagant ideas and serpentine stories his close friend based his life upon and discussed with him.

- The subtle insensitivity mixed in with an ENTJ's preference of logic over emotion highlights one of their core weaknesses: which brings us back to Mushitaro's ability to kill his friend. Say you were to put a person with a deeply compassionate heart, who's also very well in-tact when it comes to identifying emotions and being empathetical to other's feelings: would that person be able to kill a friend they'd known for so long? For the sole reason of making his last mystery novel a deathless enigma? This is very subjective perspective, but I believe that if Mushitaro was more of an emotionalist rather than a strategist, things would have turned out different for Yokomizo's eventual fate.

Side note: His insensitivity did, however, find its limit when he realised how devastating it was to have killed his own friend with his hands. Even though there's a wide scale that measures how insensitive a person can be, they are, in fact, still human beings capable of feeling. Killing someone dear to you is no easy task; there is a breaking point for the hardest of hearts.

SEISHI YOKOMIZO

Yokimozo, also known as Kindaichi, was a mystery writer who was very particular about detail and being exclusive, especially when it came to his works. His last wish he pursued to achieve before a terminal illness took his life was done by formulating a 'mystery that transcended reality.'

"I hate regret. So I've done whatever I've wanted to do. Up until now, it's been a satisfying life. But now… I've been given a time limit…Before then, I have to complete the ultimate mystery."

His personality type is identified as 'INFJ,' also known as the 'Idealist.'

- INFJ's are deeply creative and artistic, but they express it in various different ways. For Yokomizo, he portrayed his brilliant artistic skill through his writings revolving around mysteries and their compelling depths. The fictional character's namesake was also a mystery novel writer. Yokomizo was pretty well-versed with how mysteries worked and how their details ravelled themselves into elegantly, well-established riddles, which only added to his natural flair of writing.

- Generally, INFJs are reserved, but incredibly idealistic. Yokomizo was seen to be very abstract in his idea of thinking, and this is due to the fact that INFJs have a thing for pondering about life and the meaning behind everything.

"Mushi-kun, I bet you're laughing at me for destroying myself for the sake of mystery. But if that's the case, maybe there's no such thing as unshakable values. Maybe it's up to us to decide what to put value in and what to live for. After all, we have the right to turn our own decisions into our entire world. It is, foolishly enough, the greatest luxury afforded to mankind."

- As for their weaknesses, some INFJs are very hard to get to know. They are mysterious at times, which prevents them from being flamboyant with their thoughts and opinions. Yokomizo had a very lighthearted, mystifying nature, which made him a very interesting character altogether. Despite having a high regard for their intimate relationships— INFJs can be quite private. Mushitaro vaguely points out his self-contained, introverted mannerisms in this panel:

Now, I'll get to my point.

ENTJs and INFJs don't ideally match up, but when it comes to general friendships, there are a few details that suggest an accomodating dynamic between the two personality types. These qualities emanate from Mushitaro and Yokomizo's friendship with each other.

Opposites attract in most cases, correct?

Well, in this case, ENTJs and INFJs have a lot of similarities:

intelligent

intuitive in thinking

determined

goal-oriented

But the more numerable contrasting qualities is what really brings out the agreeable traits between Mushitaro and Yokozimo. Think of it as a system where two opposites mutually keep each other in check:

1. Mushitaro bases his life on the gaining his own needs and wants, and is very firm in his sense of realism, while Yokomizo is more focused on the deep, complexities of life itself. This may come off as impractical to ENTJs, but also compliments their coordination with INFJs. Realism limits idealism, but idealists can also expand the boundaries realists place themselves in.

2. INFJs accept people and ideas as they are, not willing to put others down just to prove themselves right. Yokozimo's tolerant behaviour stands in contrast with how authoritative Mushitaro is, especially when it boils down to his arrogance— he isn't afraid to spit his pride right into his opponent's face.

Kneel, detectives! I am the king of crime! No one can force me to sin and repent!

Just for laughs reference^

So it's safe to say that because Yokomizo had an acquired sense of serenity and open-mindedness, he was able to tolerate Mushitaro's extravagant, subtle histrionic characteristics, which were laced with his superior complex.

3. In the manga, Yokomizo speaks and converses with Mushitaro in a way that suggests that he is careful with his words. INFJs are gentle and generally sensitive to the needs of others, so they tend to be careful with what comes out of their mouths. Mushitaro, like most ENTJs, are quite blunt. This points back to how insensitive they come off, even if they don't actually mean it. So when it comes to Yokozimo explaining tales of mystery to Mushitaro, Mushitaro doesn't hesitate to mock Yokozimo; but because of how understanding Yokozimo is, he doesn't take Mushitaro's opinions too seriously to the point of discounting the value of their friendship, because he knew Mushitaro didn't use his words with the intention to harm.

If you were to place a more dominant persona in Yokomizo's position, I doubt that that person would be able to tolerate such behaviours. Then again, this is crucially subjective.

I suppose the main thing I wanted to point out was how ENTJs and INFJs balanced each other out by cancelling out each other's extreme traits, and keeping each other in the middle of the equilibrium altogether. But another thing I'd like to point out to sum up Mushitaro and Yokozimo's relationship was this: the fact that Mushitaro had to kill his own friend to grant his dying wish. Dying for someone or by someone's hands is easier than killing someone, especially if that someone is dear to you, no? I guess that's the part I can't fathom— it was the type of relationship that stood out way more than I had expected. Say, the roles were switched, would Yokomizo actually kill Mushitaro? Or would Mushitaro think of such an incomprehensible way to die in the first place? Or what if these two friends had different, more superior traits that coexisted in conflict all the time, would Yokomizo even depend on Mushitaro with such a task?

The speculations are endless, or maybe it's pretty straightforward. Though, I hope this made sense.

Okay, I'm done rambling for now. Thank you for reading!

[alicedrawslesmis]

I think the musical's version is that Jean Valjean being good/morally ambiguous made him realize that the law may not be an infallible judge/barometer of a person's goodness, and that made him realize that his whole career may not have been Good after all, and that there may have been other cases like Jean Valjean's (maybe), and so he wasn't just punishing "bad people". "And must I now begin to doubt, who never doubted all these years..."

you see I want to believe that's the reason and this is the lyric people are pointing to the most

but the song has a lot of other conflicting lyrics floating around, like: 'there is nothing on earth that we share/ it is either valjean or javert' which would indicate that Javert has a deeper issue with being similar to Valjean (I mean this part is him trying to hold onto his old worldview, but wouldn't that be weird? if the point was just about morality why is he so mad that they're somehow alike? what's going on here? clearly there's more to it. Like the fact that he is like Valjean is appalling to him) (so I think, if we take the lyrics completely at face value, there's a disconnect between Javert and his own origin 'from the gutter') (also maybe there is a resentment at Valjean being happy with a child and Javert still being horribly alone)

and then there's the 'how can I allow this man / to hold dominium over me' which would indicate that actually he resents Valjean for having any control over him, and resents himself for 'letting' that happen (emotionally? was he incapable of causing JVJ harm?)

and there's the lyric 'is he from heaven or from hell?' in the last few verses, that would indicate that he maybe didn't learn to change his worldview, just changed where Jean Valjean fits into his worldview. (or, he is unaware of how to interpret the consequence of him being unable to actually go through with the arrest) (is this good? is this bad? what does that make of him?)

and so when he says 'I'll escape now from that world / From the world of Jean Valjean.' it appears to me that in the musical, Javert is in doubt less about his worldview, and more about his specific view of Valjean in relationship to himself.

I mean I do I think Javert looses his footing because of Jean Valjean. But pair this song up with stars, where he Vows to put Jean Valjean behind bars and the whole 'I've hunted him all these years' makes me think that the 'never doubted all these years' is more about doubting his capacity to go through with finally arresting him (this fits with the "Damned if I'll live in the debt of a thief! / Damned if I'll yield at the end of the chase.")

Idk man, every second I look at the lyrics the more I'm leaning to 'Javert had projected a lot of stuff on Valjean and it turns out he had him all wrong so he jumped off a bridge'

TL;DR: I think musical!Javert is no longer emotionally capable of existing outside the Valjean chase

[leqclerc]

previous anon here. You are right, I didn't phrase it quite well. I don't think charles lost confidence in himself but more so in the car and in ferrari in general. His contract with then lasts until 2024. I'm sure it has crossed his mind whether he can fulfil his dream and become a world champion with them. I may hate horner and red bull, but they are committed to winning the championship. Yes they favour max and accommodate his needs more than their second driver, but maybe this year it might pay off. I don't think this is the strategy ferrari should follow, but if they want to keep charles, they really need to step up. After today though we can be hopeful for the season, I imagine it can't get worse than last year.

Shush, don’t jinx them! 🙈

No, I get what you mean. And - as much as it hurt me, being a devoted Sebchal - in a way I’m almost glad that he endured a grueling season like that. 2019 was - aside from a few hiccups - a generally competitive, successful season for Ferrari. I think that was sort of Charles and Ferrari’s “honeymoon phase.” Then all the engine drama happened ab they were forced to hastily rebuild the car over the winter break and ended up with a horrid, undriveable beast - on top of that there was evident tension between the departing Seb and some of the team members/management at Ferrari, and Charles had a front row seat as this was all unfolding. It was their lowest point in pretty much every way, and I think that sobered Charles up quite a bit. I think when you’re at the pinnacle it’s easy to get complacent - look at Mercedes. They’re slightly off their game at the start of the season and people are already either panicking or downright refusing to believe it, given their recent form. When you’re at the top you have something to lose. But once you’ve already pretty much hit rock bottom, it can only get better. It motivates you more, forces you to improve. 

Obviously it’s important for a driver maintain a good working relationship with their team, but I think it’s equally important for them to sort of step back and re-evaluate. At some point this romanticized notion of an infallible team needs to be stripped away; the rose-tinted glasses need to come off. So 2020 was a huge wake up call and learning curve for Charles. I think he’s still devoted to Ferrari and still wants to win the title with them, specifically - it’s his dream, just like it was Seb’s before him - but I think...seeing how bad things can get he’s going to be a bit more cautious, a bit more level-headed. I think he’ll stick it out with them until his contract expires, but then he’s going to have some serious soul searching to do to decide whether to continue with them or start anew somewhere else. Even Seb alluded to this - Don’t waste it. If Ferrari won’t give him what he needs to win - be it a competitive, reliable car or an environment and atmosphere he can thrive in - then he’s going to have to look for alternatives. Hopefully he’ll have a title under his belt before then, but as we’ve seen, things don’t always work out.