#and i'll start bdubs after

[neurotic-sinkhole]

as someone who has worked in courtrooms and actively is in law school i. i just have to talk about the cleo v doc case.

i finally got around to watching doc's entire POV after being too busy. i saw clips over and over again that were just calling my name. and oh boy did the full vid not dissapoint. my mouth was wide open the whole time in both shock and laughter. surprisingly, some of the proceedings of the court were accurate to typical US court proceedings!

here's a list of events and actions that stood out to me for their questionable realism:

- skizz's opening line was pretty accurate to how most plaintiff/prosecutions begin -"your honor, opposing council, members of the jury"

- most courts don't let you... submit evidence in opening statements but i love the hustle skizz!!

- honestly skizz's entire opening statement would have had a jury on his side

- but no jury? this would be a jury case

- honestly joe's baby defense i could see playing out in court

- joe really held up the batshit defense arguments stereotype and i love that for us 🧡

- arguing in opening to have the case dismissed... baby that time has passed. not even discovery can save you now

- i get the feeling neither joe nor doc knew the plaintiff was going to call witnesses which is not only major illegal but also so fucking funny

- this is the type of questioning a proffessor would show what leading a witness looks like

- literally during both of joes cross' i was crying it was so funny

- also ren's "i cannot recall" yeah!! that's good.

- should have brought up husband status

- skizz. please. it is not "disposition". beef did not give you a "disposition". it's "deposition". please. i'm crying.

- really good relevance objection! and skizz didn't say "relevency" so +3000 lawyer points!

- the judge firing missles at both councils is a feature i think the lower courts should implement

- DEFENSE DIDNT GET TO PRESENT A SINGLE WITNESS???

- like they had no case. the witnesses are your case. they didn't begin their case to even rest it. help?

- no experts testified but i think if D did get a witness they could've had an expert testify to either doc's baby or insane status and that would have really helped.

- joe's mens rhea argument in closing was SO GOOD. like that really was the glove moment of this trial.

anyways i'll be thinking about this for 1000 years.

[zhukzucraft]

=====>

Joel: Lizzie? What's wrong?

Lizzie: Food! Do you have any food!?

Lizzie: Thank you, I don't know how you all dealt with soulmates before, taking random damage like this...

Lizzie: ...

Lizzie: Did either of you almost die recently?

Joel: Nah.

Bdubs: Nope.

Lizzie: We aren't soulmates?!… Thank goodness!

Joel: Lizzie...

Lizzie: Joel… you speedrun your way to red like it's some sort of competition…

Joel: I'm not competitive...

Lizzie: Mmmhmmm, I’m sure you aren’t~

Joel: ...

Lizzie: I'm just saying- there's a reason I won Tango's betting game: I considered betting against you less of a bet and more of an... investment.

Joel: Yeah! Well... I directly took more lives from you than you did from me!

Lizzie: You sure did Mr. "not-competitive", I think you are also in contention for first in most self inflicted deaths.

Joel: I'm just- I am just giving everyone a better chance at winning, because I'm so magnanimous and not competitive...

Joel: ...where did Bdubs go?

Joel: Bdubs! Hurry up! We're leaving!

Bdubs: Yeah, yeah. One second.

Bdubs: So, what were we talking about?

Lizzie: How Joel is probably a reckless soulmate,

Bdubs: Hah! Got that right! He got Etho killed day one!!!

Lizzie: Why am I not surprised?

Joel: It was night two!... and I didn't get us killed after that!

Bdubs: Nothing like the great soulmate, me! Just ask Impulse!

Lizzie: I'll be sure to ask him how Double Life was next time I see him~

Bdubs: Oh, right. That's right! He will tell you I was the greatest soulmate of all time!!

Joel: Better than Etho?

Bdubs: ...of course not, but better than you!

=====>

Start Over -- Go Back

[grimm-the-tiger]

Misadventures with Google Translate

I put Life Series quotes through Google Translate too many times. Please help me, I can't stop.

The Names

Bdubs -> Bduby

BigB -> Capital B

Cleo -> Language

Etho -> line

Gem -> Decoration

Grian -> Shooter

Impulse -> Road

Jimmy -> Jimmy

Joel -> Hurrah

Lizzie -> Lizzie

Martyn -> Martyne

Mumbo -> Explosives

Pearl -> Beer

Ren -> Ren

Scar -> Right

Scott -> Scott

Skizz -> Writing

Tango -> Background

The Watcher -> Inspector

Some highlights

Scott: this house Jimmy: And street. [Original line: "It's home?" "Home."]

Language: Be good to me: die for me. [Original line: "Do me a favor: Die for me."]

Lizzie: And I left this world the same way I entered it: troubled. [Original line: "And so I left this world just as I had entered it: confused."]

Shooter: Scar, I think we are spirit descendants and you are too busy catching fairies!! [Original line: "Scar, I think we're soulmates and you're too busy chasing fairies!"]

Scott: They tear up carpets and kill farm animals. It immediately burst into lava. [Original line: "They break carpet and kill cows. And they mine straight down into lava."]

Language: Look, if you have a lost father, you might lose it? [Original line: "Look, if you're gonna be an absent father, could you be at least absent?"]

Scott: Our theme is ABBA's summer house, is it there now? Dead metal?! [Original line: "Our theming was once Cottagecore ABBA, now it's what? Death metal?!"]

Martyne : Tell me something before you go. Why are you attached to the sun? Inspector: Hmmm... HE. It was never meant to be. He just wanted to look. [Original line: "Just... tell me one thing before I go. Why were you so set on Grian?" "Hmph... HIM. He was never meant to be there. He was only ever meant to watch."]

line: I'm a good person to have someone light my tree. [Original line: "I was a good person till somebody burned down my tree."]

Decoration: God, that seems like a recipe for anxiety. Yes I am. [Original line: "God, that sounds like a recipe for angst. Yeah, I'm in."]

Lizzie: Follow it! No friends! [Original line: "Ha! You've got no friends!"]

Beer: Something bad is happening here. [Original line: "Something wicked this way comes."]

Shooter: Here we show our true truth? For yourself or for someone else? Are we all excited? [Original line: "Is this where we show our true allegiance? To each other, and no one else? We turn on everyone?"]

Background: It's not fair, it's not fair, I'll come back to it. [Original line: "This is unjust, it's excessive, and I will return."]

Capital B: No holes! [Original line: "There is no hole!"]

Some notes

I thought it'd be funny if the translations I used were all into languages I either knew off the top of my head that the creators speak or are official languages where they live. This got really convoluted really fast, because Ren was the only person I could think of who speaks a language other than English and I completely ran out after French and Scottish Gaelic, so I added languages spoken by Hermitcraft members instead, then threw Maori on for good measure because New Zealand's close enough to Australia (sorry, New Zealand) and I couldn't find any aboriginal Australian languages on Google Translate. So the translation order roughly went Afrikaans -> French -> Scottish Gaelic -> German -> Swedish -> Polish -> Maori -> English.

Ren's line "Red Winter is coming, me laddie" line got translated as "The red winter is coming, my lady." Honestly, it still kind of works?

"Watcher" got translated as "Inspector", which gives me the mental image of Inspector Gadget in a Watcher costume.

I don't know where the extra e at the end of Martyn's name came from.

I don't know why Etho's name is the only name that got translated into lowercase.

The fact that Mumbo's name somehow got translated as "Explosives" made me start cackling as soon as I saw it.

There were several points where Grian's name got translated as "The Sun" instead, probably because "Grian" is the word for "Sun" in Irish and Scottish Gaelic is from the same language family, so they probably share the same or a similar word.

"Soulmate" somehow got translated as "Spirit descendants". I'm pretty sure it's because it got split up into its component words; "Soul" corrupted into "Spirit", and "Mate"...I honestly don't know.

I translated a grand total of one line from Bdubs, and for some reason when I translated the document back to English, that one line stayed stuck on what I'm pretty sure is Maori except the word "Boogey", which stayed exactly the same.

I'm genuinely surprised by how many lines stuck remarkably close to the originals. Aside from his name, one of Joel's lines ("Where's the fun in that?") somehow survived perfectly intact, and one of BigB's lines ("There is no hole!") got pretty close ("No holes!").

I think the best part about this is that you can tell how and why Google translated some things the way it did, and then others you're just left completely stumped about how the hell it happened.

[improvapocalyps]

"Okay, yeah. If you kill a red name, killed a red name-" "I'll give you a life for that. That's the deal." "We'll be back together like buddies again, Bdubs."

In participation of Extreme Timed Challenge Gift Exchange hosted by @extremetimedchallengeexchange!

[gifs, full storyboard, behind-the-scene rambles under cut]

past 48h animatics: MCYTETC2023, ETC2023

[Red Lives-Suspicion; Prayer-Determination; Fireworks]

Fiddled with gradient maps this time for some additional colors :D I would have colored in the eyes as well, but I didn't have enough energy left when the event hit the 47th hour xD

Also played around with camera movements. Respect to people who do fan edits and other forms of video/ assets editing 'cause keyframes are so 😭

13 hours to draft storyboard this time! Last year I used 16 but with waaay more frames idk how I accomplished that. Probably bc this year I'm drawing more than three(3) characters lmao

Progress Timeline:

[13th hour] finished storyboard/ draft (plany off time...) [25th hour] lineart for the first 10 seconds (wuh oh) [36th hour] lineart for the first 25 seconds (oh shit oh fuck gotta shorten it) [45th hour] finished Bdubs' part (NOOO I DONT HAVE TIME FOR ETHO)

ngl kinda glad i cut it in half rn 'cause i'd have to spend time figuring out shadowDog's design /lh

Designs I used for Lizzie and Joel (old art from 2022 and 2021 respectively) (holy shit i've been here for 3 years???)

Joel *shakes fist* i hate u and ur stupid beard

[Lyrics vibe/scene planning; hours before disaster]

I think most of the drawn parts didn't deviate from the initial idea. Mostly timing adjustments and building upon the vibes. The parts that were changed the most was the "And you caused it (×3 combo)".

Went from "vague flashbacks" to "following Etho and co. out of the cave and back to Scott's base while implying who Etho blames with single character focus shots".

The first one is Scott because he suggested the idea. Like, obviously he's to blame. It's not like Etho went along and cemented the deal himself. Scott totally peer-pressured him into it.

The second one is Etho because... well the scene ends up kind of being like. The sight of the Snow Fortress triggering a flashback. (EthosLab the content creator deliberately turned his camera towards the Snow Fortress and holds it there for a second instead of looking at the huge lava pillar right in front of him. What is WRONG with him.)

But also like. Clocks are kind of special to Bdubs right. Whoever gave him a clock basically has his (temporary) loyalty or at the least earned a favor from him. So like. If he hadn't gifted Bdubs the clock, which signifies a closer(?) bond, maybe Bdubs wouldn't be so devoted to him (wrong). Also serves as a call-back/ reference to the "Prayer-Determination" shot ("pray with clock" in the scene planning screenshot). I like to think that Bdubs weighted his options and thought about "if he will kill/ who to kill" a lot while following the other Red Names. And in that scene he's like, convincing/ motivating himself. Remembering who/ what he's doing this for.

(It is also meant to be part of my giftee's other prompt: "an exploration of the doubt one or both of them felt during the heart transfer that didn’t happen after Bdubs killed Lizzie, and the following guilt Etho felt." The Etho section starting from "we're setting fire to our inside for fun" til the end of the animatic is based on that prompt.)

After a brief period of self-blame, it's time to shift it onto someone else! Because you're in denial! If Bdubs hadn't gone red, then Etho wouldn't have to offer the deal. If Bdubs hadn't want to stay as teammates, then he wouldn't agree to the deal. If Bdubs wasn't so devoted to Etho, then he wouldn't have attacked Lizzie and gotten himself killed.

Then the animatic ends with the end of the session :D

...That's longer than I expected but also not that long. If you read through all that, tysm :] Tell me your thoughts! Have a good day/ evening/ night :D

[walnut-tries-too-hard]

Session 6 double up info dump

Ok, so I'm obsessed with this idea. So it's time to share all of my thoughts on this headcannon.

There was a lot of panic, naturally. For one second, they're humans. The next, they're all knew hybrids.

Grian

-Grian had no idea that people's hybrid traits would be affected by the wild card.

-He knew that the animals would all be swapped but, when everything died, Skizz and Scar started freaking the fuck out because Grian all of a sudden didn't have wings.

-There were they dots, and then boom. He's a creeper like Doc.

-How Doc never exploded was an absolute mystery. Just the stress of Skizz and Scar alone nearly made him explode.

Renchanting

-Ren didn't immediately notice that he wasn't a dog. It was after Martyn started to freak tf out that he realized his hearing was VERY different. And he didn't have a tail.

-That was a fairly easy adjustment aside from this new strange instinct to fly??

-For Martyn, he suddenly had to keep himself very chill, lest he burn down their base. Again.

-Everytime Ren was a different hybrid he changed up his full title. Rather than Rendog; there was Renmoth, Rensheep/Renram, Renbird...ect.

-Those are actually all the differnent versions of Ren I went through trying to draw him.

-Martyn spent a lot of time with Tango trying to figure out how to handle the fire.

General/misc.

-Scott went from creaking, to human, to siren. Lovely whiplash. No flashbacks to limited life, what do you mean?

-Tango was struggling the whole session. He was already cold in the overworld but that was helped with jackets and all that. Now he was physically cold and he didn't know how to fix it. Why were overworlders so cold?!

-All of the lifers were used to being red with their typical hybrid traits. The red lives were a little more out of control than usual.

-Many people, such as Tango had to get used to not having a tail. His balance wasn't as bad as say...Impulse. He's a big guy, who'd depending on his tail far more than he thought.

-The very first change up Cleo got was being a dog. I guess you could say...DoggyCleo? (I'll see my way out). Scott jumped at the image of them as a human, as is. As a dog like Ren? Yeah, that was a surprise.

-Joel was just chilling then there was a poof around him and his ogre traits were gone. Not like he noticed. His wolves were dead.

-It was the same case for Bdubs. He was more focused on his horse. three dots and then it felt wrong to be in the sun. It even hurt a little bit. It took Joel looking over to realize he was looking at a phantom hybrid.

-People were willing to help each other to understand being a certain type of hybrid, like I said with Tango helping Martyn, and Scar definitely giving helpful advice to Joel.

-Sheep Ren at some point got stuck with goat Scar and bull Bdubs. They couldn't help from bonking into each other. Explained Zed, Beef, and Doc.

I'm obsessed with this idea, if you can't believe it.

Feel free to leave questions or request about this

[tower-of-deceit]

I've been making a chart to keep track of all the deaths, kills, and hours left for each player in Limited Life

I'll be updating it after each new episode for anyone interested :]

Under the cut are stats for each episode, and in the spreadsheet there are notes explaining each kill and death

There's also a page with timelines tracking how much time every player loses/gains over the course of each episode (with varying levels of detail and legibility)

[firekit21]

Life Series Incorrect Quotes

Ren: Isn't it a bit dangerous?

Joel: Ren, please. We've been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt.

Ren: ...

Joel: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt.

Ren: ...

Joel: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves on the way home.

Skizz: Who's in charge here?

Martyn, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Grian: Why is there blood everywhere?

Scar: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.

Grian: You stabbed someone?!

Scar: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

Grian: Remember, Jimmy, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Jimmy: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

Lizzie: I was put on this earth to do one thing.

Lizzie: Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.

Bdubs: Thanks for not telling Etho what happened.

Mumbo, dumbfounded: I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.

Grian: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Scar: Mine just says "Scar no."

Grian: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Impulse, after having a nosebleed: Welp. Time to wash the blood off my hands.

Lizzie: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?

BigB: Technically a mix of green and blue?

Lizzie: So blurple.

BigB: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.

Lizzie: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?

BigB: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

Scott: Let’s play 20 questions, you start.

Jimmy: What’s your favorite color?

Scott, laser fucking focused:  Triangle, do you like men?

Grian: Pros and cons of dating me.

Grian: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Grian: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Jimmy: Do you know that we are made out of atoms?

Jimmy: And atoms never touch each other.

Jimmy: So in my defense, officer. I did not punch this kid.

Cleo, to BigB: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.

Tango: Stop failing.

Skizz: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!

Skizz: *Succeeds*

Skizz: Dang it!

Scar with a gun to Ren's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven?

Ren: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

Jimmy: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Pearl: I am a responsible adult!

Gem: *raises brow*

Pearl: I am an adult.

Cleo: I love murder mysteries!

Martyn, trying to impress them: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.

Ren: Martyn and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Martyn: We what?

[blueishspace]

Looped Sun 5

Loop #177

Scott had decided to take one vacation loop and this happened? A null loop? In an empires world where Xonorth won? Without an arm? ... The world tree was very very mean.

Loop #179

Grian had decided to take a vacation loop, nothing too big of course but something relaxing... of course this plan did not predict for a null loop stuck in the end with the most sadistic version of the Watchers possible. Grian would never set fire to the world tree...but the tree is making it really hard not to want to.

Loop #182

Pearl wanted to just have a good loop, being trapped for twenty years in a tower was not part of that plan. It being a null loop even less. Being a damsel in distress is extremely boring without something to do.

Loop #184

This is war, after almost 200 loops Scar had yet to have a Star Wars loop and now he instead had a Star Trek one... To be fair it was a good one but it's the principle! The world tree did it on purpose.

Loop #187

Scott: Guess Grian Isn't going to be the only god now...

Pearl: I guess so... So whose place did we take?

Scott: I know a bunch about this place, I took Mianite's place as god of order and you took Dianite's as god of chaos.

Pearl: Where's Scar?

Scott: According to the loop's memories he's taking Ianite's place as balance god.

Pearl: Wait, wasn't Ianite imprisoned for like...centuries?

Scott: ...

Pearl: Let's go get him.

Loop #189

It was two in the morning when Scar crashed trough the window of Grian's apartment. Grian was not excited to see him.

Grian: Another hero loop?

Scar: What? No! This is a villain loop! Watch and fear, I am the wizard!

Grian: The wizard? Really?

Scar: What!? It's straight to the point.

Grian: ... I'll stop bullying if I can join the villany. I still got a mother spore outfit from last time we looped into season 7.

Scar: Welcome on board!!

Scott: No chaos magic this time?

Pearl: Nah, decided to go waterbending for this hero loop. Get better at healing. Maybe if I get a villain next time.

Loop #191

This was early, Grian had gotten used to sometimes waking up in Hermitcraft season 6 or 7. He wasn't too surprised when he woke up as a Watcher or in Evo. But this? He didn't even think he could loop back to high school. Fortunately this wasn't a null loop so he could actually do something but still...

Loop #193

Pearl didn't mind being an hyena, it was the why that annoyed her the most. At the same time, she should have expected this to happen considering Scar's name. She tried not to sigh as she recites her part.

Pearl: And where to we feature?

Scar: Just listen to teacher. I know it sound sordid but you'll be rewarded when at last, I'm given my dues. And injustice deliciously squared, be prepared!

Loop #193

It's been a while since Grian had gotten to start in the desert, as much as he hated waking up here at the beginning of the loops now it was a bit nostalgic. He knew this was going to be a relaxing loop.

Loop #195

Bdubs: She's losing her freaking mind-

*Boom*

Bdubs didn't get to finish that he became smoke while his items fell to the ground... The spectators weren't happy.

Grian: ...Who decided to give Pearl a gun?

Scar: I did!

Grian: ...why?

Loop #196

Rendog: Give us back that banner!

Grian: Nev'r! If thee need t then cometh h're and taketh t thee phony king.

Ren: Phony? How dare thee, thee damn hippie! I'll showeth thee the wrath of the r'd wint'r.

Grian: Nay, I wouldst winneth.

Skizz: What's going on dude?

Scott: They are talking in shakespearian english.

Skizz: I got that. Why?

Scott: I have no idea. Ren isn't even looping, he's just going along with it.

Skizz: Looping?

Scott: It's nothing.

Ren: Cometh h're and visage mine own wrath thee heathen!

Grian: Is yond a dare? Prepareth thyself f'r a vanquish.

Mumbo: Grian?

Grian: There is a way we can still be friends.

Mumbo: Ther-

Grian: þū meahte geunon mē!

Mumbo: ... What?

Grian: What? It's just some Old english.

Tango: Jimmy? Jimmy? What's wrong?

Jimmy: It's Scar and Grian! Make them stop!

Tango: What do you mean-

Grian: 𒁠 𒂠𒀭𒋠𒍦𒋀 𒆭𒋠���𒄀𒊠𒊀𒋀𒀀𒋠𒂠 𒆤𒄠𒀀𒋀 𒋀𒄠𒄀𒁠𒊠 𒁭𒊠𒀭𒁀𒇠𒄀𒈀

Scar: 𒁠𒊀𒍤Y𒄀𒀀𒄠𒌋 𒈀𒄀 𒋠𒄀𒁠𒋀𒄠𒄀𒊠𒍤

Joel: Grian, mate, please stop this.

Jimmy: You'll get used to it eventually.

Grian: 𓃀𓄿𓂧 𓃀𓇌𓋴 𓃀𓄿𓂧 𓃀𓇌𓋴 𓅃𓉔𓄿𓏏 𓄿𓂋 𓇌𓅲 𓎼𓇋𓈖𓎼 𓏏 𓂧 𓅃𓉔𓈖 𓏏𓉔𓇌 𓎢𓅓 𓆑𓂋 𓇌𓅲

Joel: I really doubt it.

Grian: ⊑⟟ ⏁⊑⟒⍀⟒ ⋔⏃⍀⏁⊬⋏!

Martyn: You do know I speak ender right?

Grian: ... I forgot.

Loop #199

Listen, Grian didn't mean to start a religion really. That was more Joel's thing then his. It's not his fault he went god mode right as Gem started her Dawn church. At least he turned the god war between him, an unawake Pearl and Joel into a prank war. Which he was winning by the way. But that didn't stop it from being... Annoying at certain times. At least now he could teleport, that's a plus.

Loop #200

Grian: People! We got an expansion to our loop!

Scar: We did?

Grian: Check your loop memories!

Scar: Why- oh! We are after Secret Life!

Pearl: Finally, we get see season 10!

Scar: Look Joel and Skizz are Hermits.

Grian: Good for them, kinda hardcore that their first month of the season is demise 2.

Pearl: I mean, they are used to the Life Games so It's actually a good way to introduce them mate.

Pearl: Mate.

Grian: I know...

Pearl: I'm so sorry for you.

Grian: I'm going to have so many fishing loops now.

Pearl: It's ok...

Grian: Curse you unawake baseline me! Curse you!

Pearl: ... Snails?

Grian: Snails.

Scar: ... What are we talking about?

Grian: Snails.

Pearl: Snails snails.

Scar: ... Ok then, I'm out of here now.

Pearl: Snails!

Pearl: Is it me or is there something up with the season 10 water?

Grian: It's not you... it might like a moon big thing.

Pearl: Not another moon big, please.

Prev Next First

[flamingspud]

Two-Stick Horse

All Grian wanted was his Christmas bonus.

Here’s my fic for @molecularmagician for the Secret Santa! So, hope you enjoy!

fic below

1,287 words

It had all started in Cub's office.

"Hello Grian," he greeted. He was in his manager's uniform, and atop his head was a set of antlers. Very festive.

"You know why you're here."

"I do."

He was here to discuss his Christmas bonus, which, not to toot his own horn or anything, he was sure he'd get.

Did he work hard? Not really. Did he bring anything to the Permit Office? I mean, come on, he built the place! But other than that no, he did not bring anything to the table.

However he was the only employee, (unless you counted the Poe Poe) and he was quite entertaining. 

"Well, unfortunately there have been some… budget cuts, so now the suits up top need me to decide who to give their bonuses to and who not to."

"…I'll be getting mine though, right?" Grian asked, doubt slowly creeping in like skulk.

Cub let out a long exhale. "Well that's the thing, Grian. You haven't reached your sales quota this year."

Grian's eyes went wide, filled with desperation. "Cub, please! You know me, I'm here for most of my shifts! And-"

Cub put up a hand to stop Grian's ramble. "I know. That's why I want to give you one last chance-" Cub pushed a button that was hidden under his desk, and outside the window a horse dropped down, dangling there thanks to a lead that was presumably attached to the roof somewhere- "if you can sell this reindeer for fifteen diamonds, you'll get your bonus."

Grian had so many questions. "Reindeer?-" he noticed the two sticks taped to its head- "that's, um- we sell reindeers?"

Cub pointed to a permit on the wall behind Grian; Reindeer Permit. Bold choice making it a diamond tier, but go figure. 

"We do now."

"Right..."

That conversation was what led Grian to be standing outside of the Permit Office in an elf costume, trying to flag down Hermits as they passed by through the shopping district.

The first person who had stopped by was Cleo, curious as to why he was actually at the Permit Office for once.

"Do you want to buy a reindeer?" Grian asked, putting on his best showman's voice.

"A reindeer?" Cleo asked, an amused smile on their face.

Grian nodded. "Yup! Just fifteen diamonds!"

Cleo was quiet for a moment, looking up at the "reindeer" dangling in the air.

"That's a horse with sticks taped to its head."

"Those are its antlers! The tape's there because it, uh, hurt itself!"

Cleo turned around to her own horse, crafted some sticks and stuck them to its head. "Hey look, I have a reindeer too."

Grian blinked, before slowly lowering his head. Cleo laughed at him. 

"Well, this was fun, but I'm going to go."

"Bye Cleo…"

After Cleo, the next person to show up was Joel.

"Is the Permit Office open?" He asked hopefully.

"It is if you want to buy a reindeer for seventeen diamonds!" Grian replied, the smile evident in his voice as he teetered on the edge of laughter.

"Blummin' hell…" Joel muttered, pulling out his ender chest, "let's see…"

He rooted around for a moment, before turning to Grian. "I can give you a stack of wood."

"Get out of here!" Grian started hitting Joel.

"Ok, ok! Jeez…" Joel quickly flew away.

The rest of the day didn't bring Grian much luck either.

Zedaph had shown up, but he had been concocting a way to create real reindeer, so the horse with some sticks on its head gambit didn't work on him.

Scar had almost seemed genuinely interested in buying the creature, but the urge to put him on hold with an all new festive track was too strong, so he got fed-up and left.

And finally, Joel had returned to try and shoot the horse.

After chasing Joel away, Grian had figured his chances of getting that bonus were kaput.

That's when Bdubs showed up.

"Bdubs!" Grian called. Bdubs loved horses, he'd definitely buy the reindeer!

"Do I have a deal for you! One reindeer for twenty diamonds!" He figured he'd start high, and would either have room to negotiate down or be able to keep the change.

Bdubs looked up at the "reindeer" and gasped. "What are you doing to that horse?!"

"Huh?"

"Why do you have him so high? And did you tape sticks to its head???"

"No no no, of course not-" Grian quickly flew up to remove the tape and sticks from the horse, but accidentally misclicked. He watched as the horse fell in slow motion to the powdered-concrete ground, dropping a piece of leather after hitting the floor in a poof of smoke.

"…wanna buy a piece of leather for fifteen diamonds?"

Bdubs was in disbelief. "You- you killed it!"

"You don't have proof of that!" Was Grian's hurried response. In retrospect, it probably wasn't the best thing he could've said there.

Bdubs was shocked, affronted, horrified- 

"This is horse abuse! I'll see you in court pal!" He declared, before stomping off.

Well sugar.

———

Grian and Cub were in court. The official case was served against the Permit Office itself, and Cub had told Grian that if he went with him to court, he'd give him the bonus.

So, to court Grian went.

Things were looking pretty grim for them though, as the prosecutor was not only that, but also the judge. 

"Hermits of the audience, today we are here to put a HORSE KILLER before the court to expose his heinous actions!" Bdubs declared to the handful of hermits that sat in the audience.

"Woo!" Joel cheered, earning himself a snowball to the face.

"Allegedly!" Grian interjected.

Bdubs threw a snowball at one of the lights above his head. "Silence!"

Grian shut his mouth.

Cub raised his hand.

"Yes, Cub?" Inquired Bdubs.

Cub cleared his throat as he stood up. "I would like to say on behalf of the Permit Office, that as manager; I had no idea my employee was committing such crimes."

Gasps rang out from the people around the courtroom, Grian included. "Cub?!?!"

"I've heard enough," Bdubs said, knocking on the rest of the lights above Grian's head, "I sentence Grian to an eternity at bedrock level!"

"What?!?!" Grian thought this was an outrage. It was an accident after all!

"Be grateful, I went easy on you," Bdubs spat.

Grian's pleas fell on deaf ears as he was dragged away.

———

It had been a few days since Grian was sentenced, and he was beginning to miss sunlight. And flying! There was no room down at bedrock to fly, just the space he dug out for himself.

Cub did inform him that he had left the bonus in his base, but there wasn't really a point anymore.

He was about to dig another room for himself when he heard explosions. He looked up just in time to see someone blow a hole through the roof and drop down.

"What the-"

"There is no time," Doc, who had come down in some sort of drilling machine, said hurriedly. He threw some rockets and an elytra at Grian.

"The Poe Poe will be here any minute, we need to go."

Grian equipped the wings, and followed Doc out of the hole. "Why are you helping me?"

Doc craned his neck back as far as he would dare while flying to look at Grian. "Let's just say that the Tall Claims Court needs to be reminded who's world they're really living in."

As they reached the surface, Grian heard Skizz and Scar's exclamations at his escape for a second before he quickly zoomed out of earshot again.

And that is the story of how Grian became a fugitive over a Christmas marketing ploy.

[salemoleander]

Joel is lounging around on Potato Pier, evening darkening to purple as Jimmy and Grian argue about something stupid in the background. He dips a hand in and out of the water elevator, in and out, and again; and after every splash he's seeing the same numbers.

"Time's stopped," Joel says absently. The lulling noise of the background conversation grinds to a halt.

"Sorry, what?" Jimmy asks.

"I said, the blimming-" Joel realizes what he's saying as he says it, snapped from dreamy to alert in a moment. Grian's head whips up.

Jimmy looks down at his own arm. "The time's stopped. The time has stopped? Grian?"

Already reaching for his comm, Grian says with a forcedly casual tone, "No it hasn't."

Then he blanches, eyes flicking over the screen.

"WHAT."

Joel snorts and looks out over the map. No one is noticeably freaking out yet- the only group he can see out and about this late in the day is the Clockers, busy fixing up the cliff face on their side of the No-Man's-Land with Pearl and BigB. He watches as Bdubs falls in the chicken pit for the umpteenth time. Joel snickers.

He looks up, and catches sight of Grian's expression. He stops snickering.

--------------------

"What do you MEAN," Cleo yells, "that the clocks have stopped?" One of their arms is looped firmly around Scar's shoulders, which seems prudent given his tendency to wander off and either explode or kill whoever he bumps into. He still looks slightly singed from earlier, giving an overall impression of a puppy that cannot be left alone with electric cords.

Slumped against a rough stone wall reloading a crossbow, Joel scoffs. "What do you bloody well think it means?"

"HEY," Bdubs exclaims, "Don't talk to-" Aaand he's in the horse pit.

"It's fine Bdubs." Cleo rolls her eyes. "My fault. What I meant to ask is, why are you-" she points to Grian, who squawks, "-telling us about it? Why aren't you just fixing it?"

"Well he can't, can he?" Jimmy pipes up from his seat at the dining table. "Else he would. He's in here with us, though."

Cleo doesn't stop staring at Grian, and boy is Joel glad he's not Grian right now. Both because being himself is obviously the best option always, and because an angry Cleo is a very scary Cleo.

Reluctantly, slowly, Grian nods. "I can't fix it."

No one says anything.

The dripping from the ceiling to the floor makes Joel think someone really ought to fix up the roof. They'll have the time for it, he reckons. Then Joel remembers that the Bad Boys had, in fact, bombed the clocktower not an hour before, and decides now is really not the time to mention it.

Finally: "I really can't. It's not-" Grian sighs. "I set this thing up. It can run just fine on autopilot, pretty much. If I were on the outside as an admin-" he grimaces, "...like I should be, it wouldn't be an issue. But it's like the pilot is locked inside the bathroom while the plane-" Grian stops talking.

"Crashes? While it crashes." Cleo sounds displeased. Joel starts drafting an obituary. Bdubs has clambered up from the horse pit by now and is sitting on the edge of it, nervously messing with a janky old pocket watch.

"I would really prefer not to be stuck in an airplane bathroom forever," Scar says forlornly.

"Oh for goodness' sake," Joel says. "There has to be someone on this server who can fix this. Grian can't be the first idiot who's ever done something this stupid."

"I'll take that bet," Bdubs mutters darkly. Cleo shoots him a look, and he raises both hands and scoots forward to disappear down into the horse pit again.

Cleo pinches the bridge of their nose. "Alright, let's go find out if someone else on this server has already been a bigger idiot than Grian."

(Part 1)

[aroacepotatoo]

WRITING MASTERPOST

seen some of these so thought i'd do one for myself! (hopefully will start adding when they update here too :3)

CURRENTLY BEING UPDATED:

Soulmate's Street: double life inspired fic where the cast all live on the same street and slowly develop and mend friendships and relationships (i also made a lot of people a-spec lol)

The Strings Of My Heart: a superhero au where grian and scar are newbies who are trying to catch mumbo and martyn (with desert duo and watchers lore to go along with it)

Hating But Loving You With All Of My Heart: a ranchers royal au where their in an arranged marriage and decided to act like they hate each other in the hopes to get the wedding canceled (all while falling for each other and trolling their siblings along the way)

those are the three fics i'm currently updating! and as for some other stuff i've posted:

MISCELLANEOUS ONE OFFS:

convenient store questions: aroace boatboys fic of them unintentionally but intentionally messing with gem

hiding the hurt: 5 + 1 thing hurt/comfort fic of grian dealing with the watchers bullshit after they refuse to accept his no contact stance by himself for awhile until he tells his friends/family

Babe: the badboys and gem being chaotic roommates with her being super confused about the fact that they call eachother babe

Cuddle puddle: the badboys just cuddling in peace when gem comes asking if they have sugar. banter and confusion ensue...

Earmuffs: a hurt comfort clock duo fic where bdubs tries to find a solution to help with the horns bothering impulse (also impulse has misophonia)

I Don't Like Him That Way! (But I Do): a little prequel kind of thing to the strings of my heart with annoying sibling teasing and desert duo

Freckles: a boatboys/ethoslab fic where the gang ask etho why he wears his mask and his response just makes them confused

Nervous Butterflies: an ahasbands date fic where neither of them know what their doing and everythings awkward but it all works out (they're also aroace :3)

The Way I Feel About You: aroace ahasbands coffession fic that's awkward and silly

and those are all the fics! (or atleast the ones i'm proud of anyway...) i have some other one offs and longer series in the drafts too, and i'll update this post if/when i actually post those! if you consider checking any of these out, i'd really appreciate it! you can also ask questions if you want, i'd love to answer those!

Have a lovely day! <3

[life-winners-liveblog]

Some Losers playing Mafia

DL!Jimmy: Hello everyone! Today I will be your Host!

*DL Tango claps his hands in support*

DL!Jimmy: Heh thanks rancher... *Cough* As I waa saying today we'll be playing Mafia! I'll pass around and give everyone their secret role soon...but first introducing everyone.

DL!Tango: Oh uh sure! I'm Tango.

DL!Jimmy: Then we have flower valley!

*3rd Life Jimmy and Scott wave their hands*

DL!Jimmy: The Nosey Neighbors!

*Limited Life Pearl nods and waves, BigB seems to be distracted*

DL!Jimmy: The Mounders... Minus Mumbo.

SL!Joel: He was busy.

SL!Pearl: But that's fine right?

DL!Jimmy: Oh yeah... Because we have 3rd Life Joel here! ... For some reason?

3L!Joel: I was bored.

DL!Jimmy: Makes sense to me.

~~~~~~

Once everyone has their role.

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: Night falls on the town, all is quiet and you all fall asleep.

*everyone closes their eyes*

DL!Jimmy: Mafia, open your eyes and look at eachother.

*3rd Life Jimmy, DL Tango and SL Joel open their eyes and look at eachother*

DL!Jimmy: Who do you want to kill?

*after some tought they silently decide to point to BigB*

DL!Jimmy: Perfect, close your eyes.

*they do*

DL!Jimmy: Cupid, open your eyes.

*SL Bdubs opens his eyes*

DL!Jimmy: Choose who to link together.

*Bdubs smiles and points to 3rd Life Jimmy and 3L Joel*

DL!Jimmy: Good, close your eyes.

*he does*

DL!Jimmy: Doctor, open your eyes.

*LimL Pearl opens her eyes*

DL!Jimmy: Who do you want to save?

*she points to BigB*

DL!Jimmy: Interesting, you can close your eyes.

*she narrows her eyes and then closes them*

DL!Jimmy: Detective, open your eyes.

*BigB opens his eyes*

DL!Jimmy: Who do you want to investigate?

*he points to LimL Pearl, Jimmy does a thumbs up*

DL!Jimmy: Alright, go back to sleep.

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: It's the next day, the sun is shining and everyone is ready to start their day when... ... Nothing happens.

SL!Bdubs: No fricking way!

3L!Scott: Did the doctor really save the first target?

SL!Joel: That like never happens.

LimL!Pearl: That's insane luck!

3L!Joel: How are we supposed to find the murderers if no murder happened?

SL!Pearl: We don't have proof so our only chance to get Mafia out now is to magically guess based on their reactions to the news mate.

DL!Tango: I mean, 3rd Joel was the only one to look disappointed.

3L!Joel: What!? I was talking about a meta game perspective.

SL!Bdubs: Suspicious..

3L!Joel: No It's not!

3L!Jimmy: I also think that's sussy.

LimL!Pearl: Ugh.

3L!Scott: Jimmy, love, please never say that again.

SL!Pearl: So we are just nominating Joel?

SL!Bdubs: I don't know...

DL!Tango: I am, I'm sure.

3L!Joel: Guys it was a joke!

DL!Jimmy: All in favour of executing Joel raise your hand.

*Tango, then SL Pearl and Bdubs, Scott then Jinmy and then SL Joel*

DL!Jimmy: Are there any other nominations?

3L!Joel: I nominate Tango!

DL!Jimmy: All in favour of executing Tango?

*Only Joel and Bigb raise their hands*

DL!Jimmy: Joel is officially eliminated from the game-

3L!Joel: Fuck you guys.

3L!Jimmy: And I'm not out first round! Woo!

DL!Jimmy: ... When suddenly Jimmy falls to the floor dead.

*Tangos and SL Joels expressions rapidly change*

3L!Jimmy: What? Cupid linked us??? That's...uggghh

DL!Jimmy: Night falls and the survivors fall asleep.

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: Mafia? Ready to choose a victim?

*Tango and Joel open their eyes and point at LimL!Pearl before closing their eyes again*

DL!Jimmy: Next, Cupid?

*Bdubs open his eyes and points at Scott and Joel*

DL!Jimmy: Doctor?

*LimL!Pearl thinks and then points to BigB, again*

DL!Jimmy: Detective?

*BigB points at Bdubs and gets a thumbs up*

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: Another beautiful day approaches, the birds are singing, flowers are blooming-

3L!Scott: Nice.

DL!Jimmy: When you find a corpse floating in the river ... It's Limited Life Pearl.

LimL!Pearl: Noo!

LimL!BigB: Damn!

DL!Jimmy: So, how would you say you died?

LimL!Pearl: Well I was talking a midnight stroll when suddenly... wam! Someone came from the bushes and attacked me!

LimL!BigB: ... That....

SL!Joel: That just sounds like an encounter with a wild animal? We found the truth, there was no murder, just a dire bear.

DL!Jimmy: You have 5 minutes to discuss from...now!

SL!Pearl: Do we have any idea?

SL!Bdubs: I don't fricking know!

3L!Scott: Do we know if we managed to get a Mafia out last turn?

Liml!BigB: No way to know for certain

DL!Tango: Dang.

SL!Joel: Then what?

SL!Pearl: Tango was the one to accuse 3rd Life Joel, I don't know hiw much I trust him.

SL!Bdubs: Wait that's true!

DL!Tango: What if It's you Pearl? Lyificating like a nastermind?

SL!Pearl: Me?

SL!Bdubs: Yeah freaking right, she would never!

DL!Tango: Well I'm nominating Pearl then.

SL!Pearl: And I'll nominate you back then.

3L!Scott: I'm nominating Joel.

SL!Joel: What!?

SL!Pearl: ... Why?

3L!Scott: Call it a gut feeling.

DL!Jimmy: So we have our nominations! Who votes for Joel?

*only Scott*

DL!Jimmy: Pearl?

*Tango and Joel.

DL!Jimmy: Tango?

*BigB, Pearl and Bdubs*

DL!Jimmy: Tango has been chosen, any other nominations? ... No?... Then Tango is officially executed and out of the game.

DL!Tango: I hate this.

DL!Jimmy: Come on! You did the best you could.. sit here!

*Tango sits next to Jimmy as everyone closes their eyes again*

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: Mafia choose your victim.

*SLJoel opens his eyes and points at BigB before closing his eyes*

DL!Jimmy: Since the new linked couple is still alive Cupid will sit this night out, Doctor?

*nothing happens for a while*

DL!Jimmy: Perfect, Detective?

*BigB points at Joel and gets a thumbsdown*

~~~~~~

DL!Jimmy: Another day begins, the sun rising in the distance when you hear a scream!

3L!Scott: No!

DL!Jimmy: When you arrive It's already too late, BigB has been killed... How?

LimL!BigB: I'm going to say, attacked while visiting Pearls grave.

LimL!Pearl: Awwwwwww mate.

DL!Tango: Don't speak! You're dead!

LimL!Pearl: Well so are you!

3L!Scott: I still think It's Joel!

SL!Joel: Well I'm saying It's you!

SL!Bdubs: Uhhh-

SL!Joel: No, I'm nominating him.

SL!Bdubs: Wait-

3L!Scott: Right back at you!

SL!Bdubs: ...

SL!Pearl: It's like they haven't heard you.

Dl!Jimmy: So we have our nominations! Who votes for Joel.

*Scott*

DL!Jimmy: And Scott?

*Pearl, Joel and Bdubs*

DL!Jimmy: Other nominations? No? Then It's decided! Scott is out if the game... And soon Joel too dies...

SL!Joel: Another link double execution?!!

DL!Jimmy: Tango, SL Joel and other me where the Mafia, since all the members are dead the villagers win!

~~~~~~

3L!Scott: So, who was Cupid in the end?

SL!Bdubs: It was me.

SL!Joel/3L!Jimmy: You!

[watarfallar]

Hello? Yes, I'm gonna have to put you on hold. Enjoy these while you are on hold!

Etho: Tango, I am questioning your sanity... Scott: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

Martyn: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting. Pearl: I think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I've done nothing wrong and I have a heart of gold. Joel: I think this message is extremely valid, but also Pearl has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone supervolcano, so what's the truth? Pearl: I want to set it off.

Waiter: What would you like? Joel: Bring a milkshake with two straws. Etho: *blushes* Joel: *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!

Joel: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Mumbo: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

Gem: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

Scott, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it- Joel, whispering: Should we call the exorcist? Pearl, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick. Mumbo, appalled: Call the exorcist.

Scar: I type how I think. Martyn: Odd that you type at all then.

Tango: Scar, my old friend! Scar: I think you tried to kill me at some point. Tango: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

Scott: You’re jealous. Grian: Jealous? Scott: That’s why you were being so negative about this. Grian: That’s absurd. I’m always negative.

Bdubs: Firstly, how dare you use mathematics to make me look stupid! Bdubs: I’m actually very good at mathematics. Bdubs: Thirdly, I think you might be right.

Skizz: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gonna unmake it to sleep in it anyways? Impulse: Why should I feed you if your just gonna die anyways? Skizz: Skizz: I'll go make my bed-

Joel: I warned you. Joel: I'm perfect.

Skizz: While I'm gone, you're in charge Ren. Ren: Yes! Skizz, whispering to Etho: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want them to feel bad. Etho: Obviously.

Jimmy, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies. Lizzie: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired? Jimmy: I have depression, what do you think?

Pearl: Gem gave me a get better soon card. Lizzie: That's sweet! Pearl: I wasn't sick, they just think I can do better.

BigB, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

Pearl: Scar, say aluminum again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times. Scar: *sigh* Only for you, buddy. Alyoouminnieeum.

Grian: Yum, thanks! Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.

Cleo: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life. Jimmy: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Cleo: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Pearl: Edible.

Tango: Am I right, Etho? Etho: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

Pearl: Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego. Pearl: My facebook photo is a landscape.

Mumbo: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit. Scar: Mumbo, is that legal? Mumbo: When the cops aren’t around, anything’s legal!

Gem: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? Gem: A stab wound.

[selodka-pod-shuboy]

I think 3rd life is somehow the best plot&system-wise. It's not based on anything, just my humble opinion. I have so much thoughts and they are all so tragic. Like. It was my first ever interaction with theese CCs, I went there blind reacting. It was amazing then, it was even better after getting to know them. Every perspective tells such a drasticly different story. You've got alliances formed throu death, loyalty and sacrifices, broken or cherished till the very end. You have 3 lifes, and that's it. No tricks or some help or twist from the gamemakers. Go apeshit or stay nice, nothing changes it. All your enemies can start from something as simple as a random punch or a shot or a pice of paper. So can friends. No one knows how the server operates, they all come from somewhat-friendly spaces, so every simple fact is a new surprise - everybody kills animals, and ends up suffering with lack of food&lether for books afterwards. They put effort into builds, bother with decorating(not to say they didn't in later seasons, it's just the attachment I'll talk later), fill the places with love and care, get attached to pets and trees, banners of all things. PROTECT THEM and feel sorrow and grief, once they enevitibly get killed or burned or blown up or DESTROYED. The rage is so innocent in it's belive, that they were wronged, that they should be avenged, and not that this is just the reality of the server itself, that that's just - what heppens. The story tells so much about betrayal, about broken trust, and friends that go mad, and almoust no one follows the "all alliances are broken after you're red" rule. You are allowed to kill now, yeah, but there was nothing in PARTICULAR, stopping you before. It is proven by the first death, that it was just a prank, that lead to all the following chaos. Scar gives Grian flowers after his second death, and Grian STAYS. Cleo sticks with Bdubs, calling his castle a toilet, kidnaps the desert lama, burns Joel's home. She goes for the king and dies in the blind rage . Bdubs makes and gives Impulse the clock, that will doom their hearts in the end. Impulse promises his trust to the Crastle. Bigb makes the cookie. Martyn hears voices, and Ren asks him to take his head. He takes so many lives. The Red Winter Comes. Tango saves the cows, only for them to be stolen, he gets shot stuck behind the fire. Etho's dark oak gets burned, he builds a woolen castle, for it to get burned multiple times. Timmy gives Scott a poppy, starting their marriage. They build the flower valley. Timmy DIES FIRST and aquaeres the Canary curse. Scott follows full of sorrow. Skizz dies second, full of rage, and creates the boogieman curse. Joel stays alone, with his dog army, and dies, leaving his pack wandering the desert. The cactus-ring fight. The siege of dogwarts. Battle of the Red Desert. All the monopolies. The state, that everyone leaves the server, the contrast with the start. It's like watching the 1rst anual hunger games, from a perspective of people, who know and love each other, but no matter their efforts, end up slowly spiraling into violence and distrust, spreading pain and destruction. Mu soul loves and aches for it, even though it was the very same thing that broke it in the first place, that took a pice of it and so it will never be whole again. It's so tragic. All this blood was never beautiful. It was just. Red.

[arthropod-concoctions]

Has my luck turned?

Day eight at the mall, and Tango had to say, he was getting pretty comfortable. The fourth floor contained an electronics store, a furniture boutique, and a big supermarket with fridges that were miraculously both still functioning, and still stuffed with food and drinks. Most of it wasn't healthy, of course, but victims of the apocalypse couldn't be choosers, and with the amount of running from monsters and crazy people he'd done in the past year, Tango felt he'd earned the right to have instant burgers and soda for dinner for a week. He sat down on a soft chair with his freshly microwaved cheap meal, reached into his backpack, and grabbed the radio that he'd taken from the electronics store. He turned it on and twiddled with the frequencies until he found the only channel that still worked: the one where someone who'd broken into the radio station had been rambling whatever came to his mind into the microphone for at least the last week. Tango listened to today's story, seemingly an anecdote from the guy's high school life, as he ate.

“...so, yeah, that's how we got crowned 'cutest couple' in the yearbook despite being literally one week from a breakup.” the man laughed. “God. I'm getting loopy, I need to find something to eat. Signing off, i have been Martyn Littlewood as usual, and if... if you're an actual person hearing this, please come look for me at the radio station in Midcanyon. Please. I need to know I'm not losing my mind here. Alright, bye by-”

A crack, and then Tango was alone with the static and his lukewarm meal again.

Briefly, he considered going out to find the radio station, but he quickly discarded the idea. That sounded like something a competent and heroic person would do, and if there was one thing he'd learnt the past year, it was that he was neither of those things. Well, that wasn't entirely fair. He'd been pretty heroic when he joined team BEST. And he'd done some good things in the-- what was it, a month?-- where they were actually helping people. And it was hardly his fault that brain demons had started to show up, and one got to Bdubs, and then to everyone but Tango, and then- Tango exhaled through gritted teeth. Replaying it all in his head wouldn't help now any more than it had the past hundred times. That chapter's over now, for better or worse. He finished eating, stuffed the radio back into his pack, then got up to put his plate into a garbage bin that hadn't overflown yet. Maybe he should try emptying the bins at some point. Then, at least he could say he was still some kind of positive influence on-

The ground rumbled.

“Oh, god, not again!” Tango dropped his plate on the ground, and looked around frantically. He didn't see anything breaking just yet, but the rumble wasn't getting any softer, and earthquakes were not common occurrences in the area. Whatever was happening now was almost certainly another Disaster. After probably a few seconds too many just standing there, Tango made a decision: he had to get out of here. He began running to the exit of the store. As soon as he crossed the doorway into the main hallway of the mall, the entire building shuddered, and Tango distantly heard windows shattering. Tango yelped, but didn't stop running. Stairs, stairs, he had to get to the stairs- He reached the stairs and ran down to the third floor. He continued on to the second floor, but then slipped and fell down the last three steps like an idiot. He hissed, partly because his knee hurt, partly from frustration. Alright, no time to feel sorry! Keep moving! He got to his feet again, heaving heavy breaths, and stepped down the next stair- A flow of honest-to-god lava sloshed at the bottom of the staircase, seemingly coming up from a crack in the ground. Tango skidded to a halt. Oh. Well, nevermind then, Tango thought. Guess I'll just die in here. He felt a wave of heat from the lava and instinctively stepped back up the stairs. He turned, around, stepped back into the hallway, and- Something feathery crashed into him from the side. Oh, great. There were monsters as well. Tango fell down, wisely used all his breath to scream at the top of his lungs, and reached for the pistol that he'd pilfered from somewhere months ago and had just been hanging uselessly on his belt since then. A gun wouldn't do much against lava, or the other nonsense he'd dealt with, but it'd probably deal well with a feathery monster. Although, looking up again, the figure that crashed into him didn't look too monstrous. Actually, that just looked like a person who'd also been knocked to the ground. A blond man, with yellow feathers growing out of his face and arms, with wide eyes and his hands raised.

A canary. Right. Some people were having an even worse time with the apocalypse than Tango.

“Oh, you're a person!” Tango said, though not much sound came out of his throat. He immediately took his hand off the gun again. “Sorry.” He hadn't seen anyone else in this area for a while.

The canary mouthed something in response, and got up. Tango watched him approach the staircase, go down one step, and freeze, exactly as he'd done.

“Yeah, no. That's not the way to happiness. We're sort of screwed here,” Tango said, as he got to his feet as well.

The canary turned to Tango and said something, pointing his thumb backwards.

“What?” Tango said, like a fool. Canaries couldn't speak during Disasters. That was pretty much their whole thing. “Sorry, I don't know any sign language.”

The canary repeated the gesture, pointing and mouthing more exaggeratedly this time. After a second, he just turned around and began jogging down the hallway. Tango decided to wager that he was probably saying 'follow me', and followed. That proved to be harder than expected; the floors shook irregularly, making it hard to keep his balance, and his knee still hurt. Tango was panting again by the time he caught up to the canary; the man had been waiting at an emergency exit.

He opened the door when Tango reached him, and the two left the building onto a metal staircase. Tango looked at the scenery outside. The mall looked out over a massive parking lot leading out onto what used to be the road network, but was now just a slab of asphalt intermittently cracked by dandelions-- having broken through slowly but steadily for the past year-- and lava, which was doing the same thing in the span of minutes. It seemed to be seeping out of the ground from cracks which were expanding in length, but not in width. In fact, one of the cracks was snaking dangerously close to the foundations of the mall...

A horrendous metallic screeching snapped Tango out of his stupor. Right. He was supposed to be escaping. He followed the canary down the staircase- Ah. The cause of the horrible noise had been the bottom stairs curling upwards, getting bent out of shape by the heat and the pressure of the lava coming up at the exact place where the staircase touched the ground. Or in other words, right in the middle of the only route of escape the two of them had.

Tango laughed. What else was he supposed to do? He'd gone from having a lovely life in a giant mall ahead of him to almost certainly dying in the very same mall in, what, five minutes? The building shook again. Tango looked over at the canary, who was gripping the handrails of the stairs with both hands, leaning over.

Tango walked over to him and slapped him on the shoulder. “Well, it was nice knowing you, friend. Sorry about the-”

The canary suddenly reached over and grabbed Tango's hand, clearly wanting to get his attention. Tango looked at him, and he mouthed something; again, Tango didn't know what, but it seemed like the last word was 'back'. His eyes were wide.

“We can't go back, dude,” Tango replied, hazarding a guess at what the man was trying to say. “There's just more fire and sadness back there.”

The canary shook his head, frustration visible on his face. He brought a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes, still muttering something. Tango shrugged apologetically.

Then the canary took a deep breath in and out, grabbed both of Tango's arms, and... wrapped them around himself?

“Oh. Uh... okay,” Tango stammered, now hugging the man. “Look, I know this is a heated moment and all, but-”

The canary spread out his arms and jumped backwards, pulling Tango with him; then they were falling.

“HEY!” Tango yelled, now holding on to the canary for dear life. He'd seen how far above the ground they were; too far to survive a fall like this unscathed. He really hoped the other man had a plan- The man waved his arms, and their descent slowed considerably. Surprised, Tango turned his head to the side; the yellow feathers which had been laying flat on the man's arms earlier were now standing straight up, and apparently catching a good amount of air. He continued flapping, and they were definitely still falling, not flying, but it seemed like they might...

Tango heard the canary's legs hitting the ground a moment before he felt his own landing; bolts of pain shot through both of his legs this time. They buckled, and he fell forwards, his fall being unfortunately cushioned by the canary's body.

He rolled to the side until his backpack stopped him, then let out another scream for good measure. “What is wrong with you!?” he yelled in the canary's direction.

He didn't respond; his eyes were squeezed shut, and his face contorted with pain. Tango immediately regretted saying that. “Nevermind. Sorry. Thanks for saving my life. uh...” he stood up and swiveled his head around to look at the lava, which was still coming up from the ground all around them. The heat was already making Tango sweat. He held out his hand to the canary. “Can you walk? We should probably get out of here.”

the canary nodded and took his hand, and Tango pulled him up. Then they hobbled their way out of the molten labyrinth, as fast as their aching legs could take them.

* * * * *

The disaster ended almost as abruptly as it started; pretty soon after Tango and his new buddy had made it out of the parking lot, the lava seeping from the ground slowed, then stopped. When the ground had properly stopped rumbling, the canary slowed his pace, then all but collapsed onto the soil. Tango decided to follow his example.

“Whew,” Tango exclaimed as he sat down. “Guess that's my exercise for the day done.” He looked over at the canary, who was panting just as he was. He held out his hand. “I'm Tango, by the way. Hi.”

The canary looked at him, grinned, then took his hand and shook it. His lips moved, but sound still wasn't coming out.

While most of the disasters that kicked off the end of the world had been unique and highly localised, the emergence of canaries seemed to have been a worldwide phenomenon. Tango hadn't actually met any in person up until now, but he'd heard enough accounts of it to know how it happened. On the 17th of June, 2022, for no apparent reason, about one percent of Earth's population lost their voices and suddenly had yellow feathers burst out of their arms and faces. A few minutes later, hell broke loose. It turned out their mutism wasn't permanent, but rather only happened when in proximity of the Disasters that would plague the world constantly starting the very same day. The 'canaries', as people began to call them, were blamed for the Disasters at first, even as they swore to have nothing to do with it all. People thought they were aliens, or demons, or even experimental super-soldiers created by the government; whatever would fit into their desperate attempts to explain the end of the world. Tango never really bought any of those explanations. Life's a bitch, is what he'd say, and it seemed to him like the canaries were just exceptionally unlucky people on an even unluckier planet. And having met the man sitting next to him only solidified that perception.

Tango's mouth was dry. He reached into his backpack and pulled out a plastic bottle full of water. “Lugging this thing around for a week is finaly paying off,” he said, took a few sips of water, then offered the bottle to the canary. He took it eagerly and immediately drained almost all the water that was inside.

“Wow, thanks for leaving some for later,” Tango said flatly. Then he saw the canary's face drop and quickly backpedaled: “Oh, don't worry about it! There were plenty of bottles in the mall, I can go back and get some more...”

He looked back towards the oversized building. It was now standing slightly crooked, one half of the top few floors had collapsed, and there seemed to be flames flickering in the busted windows. “Yeah... I can totally just go do that. Won't be a problem.”

And indeed, Tango went to do that. It wasn't as bad as he imagined; a good amount of the mall was still accessible, and right at the entrance there was a shop who's aisles-- and floors, thanks to the earthquakes-- still held anything you might need on a 24-hour drive, or a few weeks in anarchy if you camped out here. It was kind of eerie, how untouched everything was. Like the world had been just fine until yesterday. But whatever blessing or curse had kept everything that way had been broken today, along with every fridge in the building. Tango wouldn't be able to survive here much longer. So he ventured as far into the mall as he could, trying to decide what necessities to take with him. The canary quietly followed him along. At first Tango tried to make some conversational comments as he went, but it was hard to stay quippy with an audience that couldn't respond and an imminent relocation hanging over your head, so eventually they just continued in silence.

While they were making their way across a particularly messy corridor, the canary tripped over something and exclaimed in pain. “Watch your step, dude,” Tango commented. Then he registered what had actually just happened and spun around. “Hey, your voice is back!”

A smile appeared on the canary's face. “I can talk!” he exclaimed; and his voice caught Tango off guard.

“You're British?” he asked, before he could stop himself.

“I-” the canary paused for a moment, a baffled expression on his face. Then he tilted his head backwards and began laughing.

“'You're British',” the man repeated between wheezes, leaning against an aisle. “We can finally properly talk, and that's the first thing you say to me. Oh my gosh.”

“I... I wasn't expecting that, is all,” Tango replied weakly, pressing a hand against his neck. “Sorry, that was rude.”

The canary raised a hand to stop him. “No, dude, don't worry about it. It was funny.” When he'd recovered from his laughing fit, he opened his eyes and looked at Tango. “My name's Jimmy, by the way.”

Tango nodded. “Jimmy. Alright, cool,” he said. “Uh...”

Okay, the excuse of his conversation partner being mute didn't work anymore. Maybe Tango was just socially incompetent.

“Right,” Jimmy said. “Well, I guess we'd better continue packing. Anything else you need?”

“Hmmm...” Tango glanced into his now bulging backpack. “I dunno. I guess just as many cans and bottles as will fit in here.”

Jimmy shrugged. “Looks pretty full to me, not gonna lie.”

“Yeah, i guess, but-” Tango sighed. “I dunno. I have no idea when my next chance to restock like this is gonna be, so I don't wanna waste anything, you know?”

“Plenty of people have set up farms and ranches and stuff around the countryside. You could probably stop by one of those and get more stuff in exchange for chores or something,” Jimmy said.

Tango nodded along. “Yeah, you're probably right. And it's probably better not to travel too heavy...”

“Hey, on the other hand,” Jimmy interjected, making a finger gun motion with his hand, “If you bring a couple extra cans you can throw them at raiders.”

Tango barked out a laugh at that. He appreciated the joke-- and the advice. It was nice having somebody to talk to, even if only for a little while.

“Well, that's a plan then. Alright, how about one more meal in here before we... go on our ways?” Tango asked.

“Uh... yeah, that sound good, yeah,” Jimmy replied. Tango thought he sounded a bit disappointed, but he decided not to read into it. The canary seemed to know what he was doing, and Tango wasn't about to just... insert himself into the guy's plans.

The two of them made their way over to a soft sitting spot in the mall's hallway, bringing two more cans of food from the shop to eat right now. As Jimmy cracked them open using a shard of glass, Tango pulled his radio out of his backpack. “You listened to the radio lately?” he asked Jimmy.

“No. Is it still working?”

“There's just one guy who broke into a radio station, I guess, and he just rambles into the mic now,” Tango explained, and again he turned the knobs on the radio until he heard some barely-on-key singing:

“You gotta knoow, you have to fiight, learn to play, there's monsters day and night~”

Tango chuckled, but when he looked at Jimmy to see his reaction, he wasn't laughing. His face had gone pale.

“That's- I know him!” he exclaimed, pointing at the radio.

“Wait, really?” Tango replied.

“Yeah, he- he's a friend of mine. I lost track of him after the apocalypse happened, I thought he- oh gosh,” Jimmy continued, then clamped his hand over his mouth.

“Jeez,” Tango said. “You know, he keeps saying- he keeps asking people to come and find him at the radio tower in Midcanyon. I wasn't gonna do it, but maybe-”

“I have to go find him,” Jimmy finished the sentence, while turning off the radio. “I have to. W-” Jimmy stopped himself, and looked Tango in the eyes.

And Tango-- look, he just said he wasn't gonna insert himself into Jimmy's plans, but that was a decision made mostly out of self-preservation. He doubted Jimmy would want to continue dealing with him, and if he was gonna have to spend the rest of his probably short life wandering around alone, he'd rather do it with pride than thinking back to an embarrassing misunderstanding the whole time. But looking at Jimmy now, he was starting to think that was a stupid decision.

So he made the gamble: “Do... you want me to go with you?”

Jimmy's shoulders visibly sagged with relief. “Yeah, I- I'd love that, actually. Thanks.”

“Not a problem, dude!” Tango replied quickly, cheering internally. “You saved my life, I've gotta repay that somehow, and if- honestly, this seems like a better deal for me than it is for you.”

“Are you kidding!?” Jimmy exclaimed. “You're the one with food and a radio- and a gun! You've got it all figured out!”

Tango laughed. “If that's what you think, you might regret this arrangement real soon, just a warning.”

Jimmy chuckled at the joke-- and it suddenly hit Tango how long, before meeting Jimmy, it'd been since he had seen a genuine human smile. Team BEST had been a joyless group, in its last couple days, and then he'd been alone for god knows how long. But now he was hanging out with Jimmy, and hopefully, with Martyn soon.

Look at me, making friends and having goals in my future! Tango thought as he scooped dry vegetables out of the can Jimmy had handed him. Maybe my life won't be as futile as I thought.

[ghostyclay]

Web of Lies hermitcraft AU (Summary/info post)

Grian is surprised when Jimmy contacts him, especially since they haven't spoken in years. Back then, Grian was still a journalist who secretly worked with villains and Jimmy was a young adult who got accepted into a hero program...

Apparently Jimmy had become a vigilante instead, and the reason he contacted Grian was because he and his civilian friend Joel were creating an underground fighting ring and they needed workers for the bar above it that functions as a cover up.

He's hesitant to accepts their offer, since he's been trying to stay out of any... Crime "Shenanigans" for the past few years since quiting his job as a journalist, but agrees after they assure him that they just need a civilian worker that won't rat them out to the heroes.

Everything goes well at first and Grian slowly gets to know the other staff members better, that is until he starts to overhear more and more strange conversations between his co-workers, mentioning a strange type of magic that has been causing chaos in the city recently. It sounds awfully familiar to a cult Grian knows from his time as a journalist in Evo.

Grian is determined to stay out of it, ESPECIALLY if it turns out he's correct about the watchers being involved, but he has to at least do something, right?

Or, Grian has to make a choice between his quiet life as a "civilian" and saving his friends. Determined to do both, he tries to influence the watchers games from behind the scenes without anyone finding out, even going as far as creating new secret personas. Too bad the watchers think identity reveals are incredibly entertaining...

!!Masterpost is here!!

more stuff below!

(These things might change slightly, but I'll keep updating this post as i write the fics/comics!)

Characters

Major characters: Grian, Joel, Etho, Mumbo

Important side characters*: Jimmy, Gem, Pearl, Evil X, Ren, Doc, Xisuma, Scar,

Other minor characters: Cub, Zedaph, Skizz, Beef, Tango, Bdubs, Cleo, Martyn, Scott, Impulse, Joe, Iskall, False, Stress

(*still count as major characters, but they r either only relevant during one arc, don't get much screen time, or don't influence the plot that much)

Relationships

The main ones r just.... All of the major chars ig? Like, Grian&Mumbo, Grian&Jimmy&Joel, Joel&Etho, Grian&Etho, Grian&Gem, Grian&Pearl,...

Side ones / only relevant during one arc: Grian&Evil X, Grian&Xisuma, Grian&Scar, Etho&Bdubs, Etho&Doc, Pearl&Scott, Cleo&Scott, Skizz&Beef,...

Theres also some side (friend)ships that im not sure about yet, mainly boat boys and rendoc, since i can't decide whether i wanna make them platonic, ambiguous or romantic 😭 feel free to tell me what u prefer!!!